#so much that I’m willing to do a project and competition about it

[safetyhaxard]

the life of a graphic designer in college

(I’m going to properly cut Dallon out in that big photo, I’m just not willing to do so with only a computer mouse)

[skzhua]

a price i'm willing to pay | part 27 - play pretend?

MASTERLIST

pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader

genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.

warnings: swearing, might have suggestive bits.

summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.

Needless to say, you were stressed. Even if Chan’s building was not that far from yours, the few minutes you had to wait for him were agonizing. Moving your knee up and down, biting your bottom lip as you stared at the time, picking the skin around your nails… There wasn’t a thing you weren’t doing in attempt to calm yourself.

“You good?” Changbin questioned you as he was heading out for his own lunch break.

“Yup, never been better,” you sent him a thumbs up but by the look on his face, he was not convinced in the slightest.

“I’m going for fried chicken; do you want me to bring you some?”

You swooned at the gesture but shook your head no. “Chan and I will eat together.”

The disappointment was obvious on his face but he smiled nonetheless, waving at you as he walked out. You almost felt bad until you remembered the messages exchanged with Chan. You had no idea what he wanted to talk about. Did he want to discuss your future projects? Was he regretting collaborating with you? Or worst, did he want to divorce you after realizing he made a mistake?

So many things ran through your mind that you didn’t take notice of Chan standing tall in front of your desk, blazer slouched over his shoulder. Once your eyes set on him, you swallowed thickly upon taking in how fucking handsome he was. There were times you could refrain yourself from such thoughts, but you were all over the place today.

“Really? You’re checking me out right now?” he sighed in disappointment, although he still had a hint of amusement in his tone.

“I’m not,” you argued even if you knew the blush on your face would betray you.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “Shall we go?”

“Where?”

He perked an eyebrow up. “To eat..?”

“Right,” you cleared your throat before gathering your jacket and purse clumsily.

There was no denying it; this was the cutest sight Chan had had of you so far. Still, he tried to not let it show through and guided you out to the café nearby. You chose a booth that was a bit further from the other tables so you could have some sort of privacy. You sat down, legs jittering under the table, and motioned the seat across from you for Chan to sit on. Only, as is he was intentionally testing your patience and making you even more nervous on purpose, he shook his head and walked to the lineup at the cash register. From there, he sent a small smile to your direction but you could only roll your eyes. This was one of the instances where you would remember why you despised him in the first place.

It only took him a few minutes but he finally sat with you as he brought along with him two carrot muffins and two lattes. You would lie it you said you didn’t find adorable how he remembered your usual and that he ordered the same for him. Nevertheless, this was not what you were here for.

“How was work this morning?” he asked after taking a sip and you deadpanned at him.

“Really? That’s what you’re going to say first?:

He sighed. “I don’ know how to bring the subject into the conversation smoothly.”

“Just say it as it is, it's killing me how I have no idea what you want to discuss about.”

His gaze softened before he cleared his throat. “I know you said to never bring it up again, but it's been on my mind for months and I think I'll go crazy if I don’t have answers.”

Your body stiffened. You knew exactly what he was referring to. The question was why would he bring it up now, after months since it occurred. If it bugged him so much, you would have maybe let him speak.

“What are your questions?”

He seemed surprised and somewhat relieved to see how calm you remained. “Why did you say to not talk about it again? Are you ashamed of it?”

“Ashamed of it?” you repeated. “No, of course not. It's just- I wasn’t thinking straight that night.”

“So your solution to something you caused was to ignore it,” he scoffed. “Does it mean you regret it?”

“Wasn’t it obvious when I ask you to not mention it again?”

His jaw clenched and he took a sip of his latte as a temporary distraction. “Is it that bad that we kissed?”

“We're business partners, Chan.”

“To you, that’s what we are. But I would have hoped after the year we had, you would maybe consider me as your friend at the very least.”

You gulped at his statement. The thing was, you never knew in what category he fitted. At first, it was your rival. Then, a business partner. But with time, you saw your relationship with him to a level you never thought it would reach. You sought to him for comfort, you would call him at random times to get your mind off things, you would actually enjoy your silly fake dates, and — although you would never admit it out loud — the posts you made about each other online made your heart swoon. He was never your friend, but he wasn’t someone you hated anymore.

“Another thing,” he continued after seeing you would not answer. “If you have something with Changbin, it was never my intention to come between the two of you. Heck, I was even a replacement for him that night since he couldn’t come.”

“That’s not true,” you were quick to correct.

“Why did you invite me over the one time he wasn’t going to be there, then?”

You groaned in frustration. “You and Changbin are two totally different people. In no way did I ever think of you as replacement for him. And to answer your question, it’s because he hates you.”

He took a second to register what you said before speaking again, hesitantly. “Do you have something going on with him?”

“Alright, jealous boy, I think we covered enough ground here,” you tried to dismiss the topic but, clearly, he had no intention for you to do so.

“Y/N, do you?”

You thought for a moment, which in itself would have sent Chan's mind into a whirlwind of overthinking, but you responded. “Wonhee thinks he does have feelings for me, but I don’t see him like this. If so, it would have happened long ago.”

He struggled with containing his satisfied smile. “And, are you seeing anybody?”

“If you don’t count, then no.”

His eyes lingered on yours for a moment which inevitably made you self-conscious of your words. You didn’t think before speaking, and somehow, it felt like you said the right thing. Still, you had no idea what you were implying with this. Did you want to be with him for real? Or did you say that because, in a way, you are seeing each other? The latter sounded like the most likely to be, but the first one had a ring to it that was melody to your ears.

“That’s all I wanted to discuss,” he ended up responding, much to your disappointment. “Just let me know if you do begin to date, because-"

“I won’t.”

He frowned at your interruption. “What?”

“We're married, I'm not going to hoe around for no reason.”

“We're married on paper, Y/N.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. If you are uncomfortable with it, I won’t. Besides, you’re not so bad of a husband.”

His cheeks turned pink while his smile grew, showing his dimples in the process. He sent a wink your way as to tell you he knows what you meant but in all honesty, this took him aback quite a lot. And this was the moment he knew his feelings were definitely stronger than what he had originally thought. In a way, he was grateful you didn’t seem to catch onto his very flustered self. However, a part of him wanted you to know he took this compliment to heart.

“I should get going,” you broke the silence, showing him the time on your phone. “Thank you for the latte and the muffin.”

“It’s nothing. I can walk you to the company.”

You pondered for a second and smiled. “Would you mind?”

“Of course not.”

So, a few minutes later, you were strolling around the city towards your company building. The streets were rather calm, surprisingly, and the little noise there was simply made your surroundings the more welcoming. Today was just perfect.

“We can stop playing pretend, you know?”

His voice caught you off guard. “Come again?”

“You understood me the first time, Y/N,” he breathed out, stopping on his tracks. “How long are we going to keep pretending you and I aren’t something more than just a public relationship? Because, I'll keep going.”

You were out of words, speechless. How could he say something of that sort in such a bold way? You never had the time to think if this would go any further, mainly because you avoided the thought the times it did pop up in your brain. Chan was never the man you'd take interest in, even less in a romantic manner. Not only that, but you had very strong negative feelings towards him not so long ago. But again, the evening strolls with him were always something you looked forward to. The way he'd make the stupidest joke was both something that annoyed you and cheered you up. His crazy sudden dates filled you with adrenaline as you couldn’t wait to see what prepared just for you.

And the kiss at the sleepover. The way he looked so beautiful in the dim light. The softness of his lips that you still think of from time to time to this day. The gently cuddles he gave you the next morning while eating your breakfast…

“I doubt we've been playing pretend this whole time,” you said in a small voice, taking a step towards him.

He took a step closer as well. “Have we not?”

“I don’t think so…”

Crash.

In the middle of the sidewalk, not a care in the world, you were kissing him once again.

“Sunghoon?”

The latter jumped up from his seat, straightening his posture as Jisung arrived at his front desk with a smile plastered on his face. “How can I help you, Mr. Han?”

“There is a last-minute appointment this morning with Miss Park Yoonchae.”

Sunghoon looked at Chris' agenda before frowning. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure,” he answered with a roll of his eyes. “She'll be here at 10, you can send her over right away.”

“Important meeting, I see?”

“Depends of the outcome.”

And as told to Sunghoon, the woman dressed from head to toe in designer clothes was standing before him at ten o’clock sharp. As he would always do, he argued a bit with Yoonchae as she was not marked in Chan's schedule. Nonetheless, he did let her through when receiving a deathly glare from Jisung across the room.

“Mr. Bang should review his front desk staff,” Yoonchae muttered under her breath before coming up to Jisung with her innocent eyes. “Hannie! It's been a while!”

“It has.”

“Is Christopher available right now?” she asked while the man was escorting her to the big boss' office.

“If it isn’t, it must be for an emergency. Otherwise, he’s here,” Jisung affirmed, opening the door wide for the girl to walk in.

Chan was there. Only, he was not alone. Not only was Changbin sitting comfortably across him, but so was Minho. Both of the men turned around at the sound of someone entering and frowned when they took notice of Yoonchae.

“Oh, it was today, wasn’t it?” Chan asked as if the answer was not obvious already. “Yoonchae, right?”

“The one and only,” she smiled, even if her displeasure was evident.

“I apologize for my unprofessionalism; I swear it was not intentional. I can see you next week, if that works for you.”

“No.”

“Oh, well-"

“I didn’t come here today for no reason,” she sighed out, walking up to his desk. “I have an offer.”

“Miss, we're kind of in the middle of-" Changbin began but was quickly shut.

“I'm sure you can wait ten minutes or so.”

Chan and Minho exchanged looks before the latter nodded and gestured for his friend to follow him outside the room. Satisfied, Yoonchae smirked at the boys as she took their latest seats, sprawling her coat on the chair next to her. Jisung sent a thumbs up to Chan, and closed the door.

“What did you come here for?” Chan questioned in a forced way.

“Ad you may know, I have a very influential presence in the media.”

“I am aware; proof of it being the atrocious review you made of my wife and I's products.”

“I have millions of followers,” she went on to say, ignoring Chan’s remark. “Many of which could become potential customers of your brand.”

“What are you getting to?”

“I want to become an ambassador of Bahng Fragrances.”

The first reaction of Chan was to scoff out a laugh. There was no way the person who bashed on every beauty item she found would want to work with him. However, when her face remained unchanged, his own smile fell.

“You were serious.”

“Very serious.”

“I'm afraid I can’t do this.”

It was her turn to scoff. “Mr. Bahng, in all due respect, I think you have no choice.”

“My company's success does not rely on your reviews. An even better reason to refuse is the way you treated my wife.”

“I have nothing but respect for your relationship, but let’s be honest here. You are not actually together.”

Chan shook his head in disbelief. “How can you make such an assumption?”

“Because Jisung told me.”

In the split of a second, Chan froze in place. Either she was playing with him, or she was telling the truth.

“Jisung would never do that.”

“Oh, but I have text messages at hands to prove it. I can post them online whenever I please,” she giggled, holding her phone up high. “So? How about we work together, Mr. Bang?”

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Copyright © 2024 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[bloop-bl00p]

Hell's Rings | Part 1

It was harder than I thought, I had to squeeze the creativity juice out of my brain to create something coherent that looked realistic within the enclosure of the rules I created. I’m a sucker for Good Worldbuilding. I still had fun making this, fortunately.

I originally wanted to make one post for all the rings but Limbo was taking whole lots of paragraphs so I’ll post each of them individually.

I. Limbo

✦ General:

All sinners are crammed up there so the exterminations don’t affect other rings. Royalty avoids getting into Limbo preferring to send representatives to deal with the sinners and other Hellborns.

The Ring is separated into different districts based on the 7 Deadly Sins, each of them containing multiple ways of entertainment to sell the idea that “Hell is cool actually!” in order to lure new sinners in. There are many establishments named guilds directly belonging to the Six Sins (Minus Lucifer, he isn’t into that.) Each guilds have a domain of expertise whose purpose is to maintain a semblance of a functional society and/or control the population (Tailors, Butchery, any new Technologies, …) It’s the most common way for Sinners to find jobs, though one extra step to join these is to sell your souls to the Overlords, who is an exclusive Sinner or Hellbords directly working for the Sins.

The Ring is big and there are multiple guilds for the same domain dispersed over districts. Some are competitive with one another other collaborates.

Guilds hierarchy |From Lesser to Higher|

• Laborers:

They rarely partake in important projects, only ever given ‘unskilled labor’ (cleaning, delivering merchandise…). Some with potential are trained and supervised by workers so they can eventually be promoted and more helpful, the others are purposely kept in that role as people willing to do the dirty annoying job are still needed.

• Workers:

Skilled workers could become assistants for Overlords or train laborers with potential. It’s not unusual for guilds with the same domain to exchange, for a short period of time, a few workers either to help each other or simply so they come back with more competence as they were exposed to multiple techniques.

• Overlords:

They represent the 6 Sins. They are themselves expert in their domain and were assigned a guild to cultivate it. Furthermore, powers are granted to them, how? Blood. The Sins give small samples of their blood to Overlords granting them strength and physical resilience. They are much more difficult to hurt and the Sinners Overlords tend to regenerate quickly after death by normal weapons. This also helps them manage their physical and psychological punishment as the blood has a holly origin. The issue is that it’s temporary, to gain more blood you need to prove yourself to be valuable otherwise you’ll be left out.

They obliviously run the business, and make sure the guild maintains a notorious reputation so that people would buy their things and seek to work for them. There are multiple guilds for one domain, and when they aren't against each other (which happens a lot since each Overlord tries to get the favor of the Sins), they arrange meetings to make business decisions for the benefit of all. Sometimes the partnership is imposed.

✦ Native species:

There are no species that specifically were created in Limbo, the only notable ones are the Sinners. Hellborns can easily access other Rings via the Elevator which is heavily guarded.

Sinners and their punishment:

Sinners are the only ones forced to stay there but they are not bound magically to this place. While demons don't have many issues regarding using the elevator, Sinners need a verified authorization signed by a higher authority. They imperatively need to be brought back to Limbo, especially when the Extermination is about to happen.

No Sinners look totally human, being in Hell means you rejected God thus also the appearance he gave you. Their new form reflects the ways they died and their deepest insecurities or fears. |Some cannot look at themselves in the mirror because of that| They have no magical abilities, if you transform into an animal you may have another set of limbs or eyes but nothing more than that. At least not without the blood of higher authority.

It’s possible to get hurt in Hell and even ‘die’ a second time, but the death is only definitive if it’s an angelic weapon. Let’s say you got in an incident and got cut in half, you will regenerate but it’ll take centuries for you to get your legs back, and if your body gets somehow obliterated you’ll simply respawn. The regeneration process is painful but it’ll depend on the gravity of your injuries.

Each sinners have a punishment depending on the sins they committed the most in life which are:

• Pride: Denial, prideful sinners mentally block this ability to self-reflect blaming it on Heaven for wrongly judging them. They cannot be wrong in this situation, why would they ask for forgiveness when they haven’t done anything wrong? In fact, they can’t do anything wrong!

• Envy: Partial blindness if not total, your inability to see the good in what you have and constantly seeking to destroy the belongings of others is the biggest proof that you are blind. It just physically manifested in Hell.

• Wrath: The angrier you get the hotter your corporal temperature gets. It doesn’t do much, you can easily get heat strokes, organ damage if your angered state gets prolonged for too long, and plenty of other unpleasant stuff. I heard your blood can boil in extreme cases, most have already lost consciousness before reaching that state, luckily for them.

• Greed: Gold sickness. You are constantly seeking to obtain as much gold as possible, and in an effort to showcase your wealth and powers, you’ll eat it. I mean, if you’re one of those people who get pennies easily, what’s the difference if you decide to eat one coin, then another, and another? What do you mean it’s dangerous for the liver?

Did I mention you’ll also be ballshit paranoid? With all of that wealth, you constantly fawn around, eating it to show that you still have plenty of money left in your drawers, who wouldn’t want to steal it?

• Sloth: Deep state of depression. You’ll be stuck in a constant state of hopelessness and your ability to enjoy simple things will be suppressed. While other sinners will try to see the ‘good side of hell’ by indulging in the many activities available, you’ll be unable to do that and you seemingly cannot heal from it.

• Gluttony: Your metabolism is fast, dangerously so. Stuck in a constant state of hunger, you’re practically forced to eat gallons of food unless you want to starve, not to death, you can’t die.

• Lust: Constant dissatisfaction, whether it’s sex or something else. Your emotions and feelings are all over the place constantly making you seek more interesting and risqué situations to feel this thrill that drugs can’t reproduce, but it’s never enough.

Besides those lovely physical/psychological conditions, you cannot remember your life on Earth and you are bound to fully forget who you are after centuries. You still remain fragments of souvenirs, mostly related to your sins and regrets, but a Sinner fully recovering their memories hasn't been recorded in Hell’s history.

Where does the Elevator come from?

It was said that the wicked nature of Fallen Angels disrupted the environment so much that an earthquake later caused a rift allowing the creation of the Elevator everyone uses now. It’s mostly for those who don’t have power and can’t create portals to travel through the Rings.

Do you really think Royalty will bother sharing a public space with Hellborns and Sinners?

✦ How Limbos looks like:

General:

Something that is common with all of the Ring is how dark it is. Hell’s ultimate collective punishment is the separation from God so there’s no natural light available and you can’t see Heaven from there, it’s a completely isolated dimension.

Limbo’s ecosystem started as an average foothill, at its center there a mountains whose peak is where Adam and Eve live. This Noble house was blessed with the fire of the Ophamin and is currently protected by Seven walls representing the Virtuous with only one entry, nobody leaves nobody enters.

If you read my other rewrite post, you’ll ask me “Then how can Adam and Eve watch over the population of sinners if they can’t leave?” well, the eyes.

Those eyes are present in most of the series, I’m pretty sure they are a reference to Roo or something but, yeah no, not in my rewrite. These eyes are golden and represent Heaven’s weariness of Hell, Adam and Eve watch the people through them. If it were to become an animated series, I’d like to add the details that during exterminations they are closed. Even if the people who get killed are sinners, Adam and Eve cannot bear watching their lineage get destroyed because of guilt, they know that if they never ate the defended fruits none of this would have been necessary.

The Seven District:

Each seven districts has a different aesthetic and depending on whether some may be more modernized while the other will have a more wild forest aesthetic.

Pride

My main inspiration for the hypothetical design of Pride was France in the late 17th century to early 18th, Aka during the reign of Louis XIV.

The place is very structured with methodic geometrical architecture to convey control over the elements, there’s a few parks and public spaces here with no sign of weebs, it’s neat. Pride is filled with peacocks, pomegranates, and lion imagery, the animals here to represent Lucifer and his pack of Fallen Angels, and the fruits as a reference to what happened in Eden.

The entertainment value of the district is more toward art with theatres, museums |That depict biblical stories and make the demons seen as martyrs|, libraries with history books that may or may not be falsified, salons, and other things only rich people can afford. Lucifer makes little to no investment to build most of these places, he doesn't even visit the district. No, all of this display of wealth is mostly due to the Goetia and other Fallen Angels, they are proud of what they did throughout history |or at least they try to convince themselves| which is why they show off their accomplishment through arts like a gleeful kid revealing a drawing to their mother.

There’s little sign of poverty in Pride, other than maybe a few imps playing various instruments to get a penny, most hotels and houses are only affordable for the richest. The impoverished population is usually more prominent and visible in the other districts.

Envy

Districts, where new trends appear, welcome this rip-off of Los Angeles.

Popularity is extremely important within the district and one of the many ways you can cultivate it is through internet. Envy offers the perfect canvas and public spaces for taking pictures to post on social media for people to fawn over you and get easily jealous.

Celebrities’ culture is cherished within the District and every Overlord seeks to be the next Kardashian. All go on private events |red carpets and meet gala style| in an effort to bring attention to themselves and enhance their popularity with the populace. Careful there, one mistake will ruin your reputation for the next centuries, and let’s just say that your competition will be seeking to absolutely destroy everything that gives you access to aids. It is envy in its purest form not just mere jealousy.

Wrath

The district is stuck between petty turf wars and gang organizations. The only ‘safe’ places for you are the guilds that are military-guarded because you simply cannot trust the citizens there to behave and not steal the merchandise.

It’s not the best district to live in unless you're an agent of chaos and like wrecking everything and everyone. Usually, the first introduction newbie sinners get from Wrath is to see bodies hung on the few trees that are still standing. It’s just the local mafias publicly punishing those who disrespected them and unfaithful members, this can go from simple humiliation or public torture. Nevertheless, they will eventually let your corpse rot away for everyone to see.

Well-crafted organization aside, rookies who simply come here for the thrill usually participate in street-fight, there’s multiple disaffected buildings that serve that purpose, sheltering reckless fighters during their dangerous endeavor. Some like to put random batiments on fire for some reason, they think it’s ‘fun.’

Greed

Here you’ll get the ultimate flashback from the Industrial Revolution, it’s not the cleanest place and it’s tough to breathe but simplistic jobs are much more available. Some buildings are made of gold, unfortunately, you can’t see it because the fumes of the usine got them dirty.

To work in a guild you need to have some level of competence in a certain domain, some sinners simply don’t have that. Hell might as well have an abundance of certain employment that doesn't demand knowledge over anything. That’s what you find in Greed!

This district has everything the other has regrouped in one place but with lower qualities. guilds only centered around commerce are mostly found in Greed, usually, minor guilds from another district can collaborate with them and they’ll share benefits. What can I say, you find lots of things there, bars, local prostitutes, restaurants, drugs, and everything that maintains Hell’s economy.

Sloth

I kept the medical theming, but it’s more of a desperate attempt to ease the pain through what is sold as anti-depressants like Benzodiazepines. I mean, it is used in anti-depressants but it’s only effective when you are medically supervised, here they just throw the pills at you and you eventually develop an addiction, it seems like it’s the only thing that can help you.

Japan was my main inspiration, especially Kyoto with this general peacefulness through the architecture without being too techy. Hikikomori is a term used to describe people who voluntarily withdraw from society, it’s what you become under the sin of Sloth. The district would have been desert if it wasn’t for the other sinner.

Everything is made to ‘facilitate’ your life and make sure you avoid stepping outside as much as possible. There’s no sun, there’s no God to help you what’s the point? There are a few relaxation centers and saunas here and there but your mind prefers staying home, there’s nothing to enjoy in Hell. You might as well rot inside and wait for an angel to exterminate you once and for all.

Gluttony

Entering the district with no money is a rookie mistake, you know when your stomach is empty and you suddenly smell the fresh pastries of a closed bakery. Expect this feeling to hit you like a good slap across the face.

We need to eat in order to live some just live in order to eat. But now you’re dead, there are absolutely no consequences here, it’s not like everything is made to get you completely addicted. Nutritional values? Who cares, it’s tasty! I heard some even purposely throw up their food in order to make a place in their stomach. It may be disgusting but what’s the point of buying excess food if you’re not going to eat it all?!

Food isn’t the only thing you can enjoy, taverns and bars are abundant enough for you to party and overindulge in all of the liquors available. A new market of drugs recently started, Gluttony was initially just about food but it’s funny how humans on Earth keep finding new ways to fuck their lives over, without the influence of Hell! Anyway Bellzebub took this opportunity and a new market emerged.

I like to think the district is a mix of multiple cultures to diversify the amount of foods, spices and tastes with a tab bit of questionable hygiene, and the district is filled with flies-like drawn to the scents |they also eat meats, alive or not|. They’ll be different streets selling foods and dishes with a hellish touch from different countries with also luxurious restaurants serving banquets for those who can afford them. You know, why stick to one food aesthetic when I can take them all? Gluttony is still about overindulgence.

Lust

Paris, La Belle Epoque. Asmodeus likes it sensual with a touch of classic, you can’t lean toward extravagance without a touch of pizzazz.

The district reeks of sex and debauchery filled with deep blue butterfly peas and other risqué statues and paintings. Lust isn’t always about the deed but it’s what it is known for, they might as well, commit to the aesthetic. Here, mostly inhabited by succubus and satyrs, I can guarantee you’ll find something you’ll like between the cabarets, brothels, and private salons to satisfy each of your most depraved fantasies. As long as you pay, good sex is guaranteed and your spouse won’t know a thing.

✦ Lenore’s sanctuary:

At the mountain foot, there’s a dense forest, and once you’re there it’s over. You constantly change path without realizing it and there are multiple illusions leading you nowhere. On top of that, you will be kept in a constant state of isolation. The forest is cursed and it’s a well-known fact.

Lenore basically cursed the place so that nobody they didn't trust could reach their territory located on the Mountainside. People who are trusted have made a deal with them, they respect their rules, and they gain a safe environment to live in. Each person when navigating through the forest sees flickers of light that guide them to the sanctuary.

Each of them brings something useful to the community but she’s not against taking children in.

Still, there are plenty of protection sigils drawn on doors and windows, and they regularly put on protection spells to repel negative influence.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

i’m just curious on your thoughts regarding girma to chelsea? on one hand, i’m happy that she’s getting recognized as such a great player and getting her bag, as well as that she’s finally playing in europe. but on the other hand i’m slightly annoyed because chelsea seems to be pulling way ahead of almost all the other teams in the wsl. they’re already so dominant it just seems like they don’t need her, so part of me wishes she went somewhere else where she would make more of an impact rather than a team that is already on track to win multiple trophies. again im very happy for her and that chelsea seems to be doing good for their women’s team but i just wish it didn’t seem like this is going to make the wsl less competitive. also sorry this is so long lol i’ve just been thinking about this a lot.

hi anon - i'm going to play devil's advocate here. so your criticism is something that i see being thrown at barça a lot too, and so i want to ask you: do you think barcelona is ruining women's football in spain?

remember that barça also pays high transfer fees (we started the trend for mapi in spain, continued breaking records for keira in 2022 and paid a significant transfer fee for ewa pajor this year). so i think solely to criticise chelsea for this seems a bit hypocritical coming from a barça fan. yes, we also use a good portion of players from our b team but not as much as we used to. remember we brought in ellie, esmee, kika, vicky, salma, and sydney from outside our system. and that's not counting keira, frido, caro, and ingrid, who are foreign players too. 🤔

so i want to change your thinking. can we flip it as a spotlight on what investing in your team means instead? other teams should see teams like barça and chelsea that are pumping in money into their teams and act accordingly.

it's all about proper investment. this is the first year that barcelona is bringing in a profit for the women's but they were willing to spend money in order to make money and now the club is seeing the results of more than 5 years of consistent investment and spending.

the teams at the top of the league are easy targets, but when arsenal was going to pay 1.1 million (even more than chelsea is paying for girma), i didn't see nearly that same criticism leveled at them. so shouldn't we encourage these super rich premier league teams to be investing way more at all levels of the women's game?

because let's say for argument that girma went to arsenal. that's not going to make the wsl any more competitive than it already is. there's a huge gap between the top teams and the bottom. so for wsl to be competitive, then each team, including the crystal palaces, leicester cities, and liverpools of the world need to keep putting in the time and money and investment.

this 100%. and i just took a look at the operating expenses and profit for some of the big premier league and la liga teams and it's really shameful really. even if they reported a "loss," take a look at the expense sheet and compare the amount spend on not just the first team for the men, but the lower teams and academies, and then compare to the women. it's a drop in the bucket. so these "high" transfer fees for the women are literally nothing in the grand scheme of what these teams are already spending...

hi anon - so i don't know that much about chelsea's academy to answer this in detail, but academies seem like such an obvious place for clubs to invest. you can use a lot of the same core principles and the recruitment gets a boost when you see both a big name club and the backing of the first team.

but that doesn't mean that you can't also bring in new players. a lot of our stars are not barça academy/la masia projects (like caroline graham hansen and vicky). but rather, it's a good mix that can lead to success.

[f1-unpopularopinions]

Okay this is a rant

Fans project onto the drivers waaaaaay too much. They push their own emotions, personalities, and points of view on whichever driver is their favorite and try to force everything they say and do to fit that. It’s why there is so much Lando and Oscar hate right now. The fans are desperate for those two to be what they want them to be, usually soft uwu boys. And the minute they deviated away from it, especially Lando, everyone labeled them as evil or arrogant. I’m not even a Lando or Oscar fan and I can see that.

Famously all drivers are extremely competitive, willing to do whatever it takes, think theyre the best, and are assholes on the track. You can’t be in f1 without those traits. But so many fans refuse to admit that and the minute it becomes clear that this is the truth and not whatever fantasy they created, they freak. It’s beyond ridiculous. You should not be a fan of f1 if you can’t handle this. Cause yes, the drivers will say rude things, they will be arrogant about their skills, they will be bitchy about team orders, they will get pissy when they lose, they will usually not get along with their teammate, they will snipe at each other in the press, they will push too hard and hit each other on track and then claim it wasn’t their fault. That’s what happens. That’s fucking f1.

I’ve watched this sport get slowly santitized as the years go on, as new fans come in and decide the things they don’t like must be changed. It’s ridiculous. So now all teammates have to be best friends. So now team orders are evil. So now a driver being upset they didn’t win in ungrateful. So now a team is heartless for cutting an underperforming driver loose. So now all the drivers must be perfectly behaved little princes who are always happy, and grateful, and kind. I cannot imagine how frustrating and demeaning that is for them. I would rip out my own hair if people treated me like that. But no, if a driver expressed frustration with this I can almost guarantee fans would call them spoiled or ungrateful.

And on top of that all they have to contain, you have cameras shoved in their faces wherever they go. Any video you find of a driver, and their are at least five cameras not even a foot away from them. And people scream in their face, and grab them, and expect them to give them time because theyre a fan. Every movement is scrutinized, their facial expression and body language are over analyzed, people make assumptions about their relationships and lives, and they can’t say boo about it. It’s been like this to a smaller extent for years of course but it’s just exploded since honestly DTS. If I had 30 people shoving merch at me screaming my name, I signed it, and then some asshole on the internet made a whole video about how I wasn’t pleasant enough when I was getting mobbed and treated like a commodity I would explode.

I guess to finish off this super long take, I just want to say that f1 drivers will never be what you want them to be. So either fix your expectations and let them be human or stop fucking watching.

Send us your unpopular F1 opinions!

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter Twenty-Two: Winner Takes All

Summary- 5.3k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. You and Curtis check into a hotel for a private night before heading back home to everyday life. Deciding to go have some fun, the night turns into a friendly competition with just one winner getting to call all the shots.

Warnings- The reader has some body image issues and self-doubt, descriptions of what the reader sees as flaws in an intimate moment. Reader receiving oral.

A/N- Hello hello! I hope everyone is doing good and you all enjoy this fun chapter of these two being their horny selves. What can I say, I love giving these two plenty of good times. As always, THANK YOU so much for reading, liking, commenting, and reposting. It does so much to keep me writing, you all have no idea. Special shout out to @what-is-your-plan-today, you as always are the best for taking these projects on. All the love babes.

Chapter Twenty-One / Masterlist

“We are going to miss you guys so much.” Jade gave a little sniffle as she hugged you tightly. “You promise to come back real soon? Or I can come to see you?” 

You hugged back, your heart a little sad to be leaving your sister and best friend so soon. Since she moved to Florida and you moved to Minnesota, it felt like your visits were so few and far between, mostly reduced to texting, skyping, and phone calls. “Of course! I have a decent apartment, I can blow up a mattress for you or get you a hotel in the city.” 

Curtis cleared his throat patiently to break up your and Jade’s conversation for just a moment. “Honey, I have plenty of space at the house, of course all of you are welcome to stay there.” He said kindly and you swore you could have told him you loved him right there for even being willing to open his home to your family. 

But I love you was just too soon still, you weren't sure what you felt for Curtis yet. It was definitely better than it had been with Jake and you could have sworn you loved Jake Wyler with all your heart and soul. Yet, jumping into another I love you scared you. 

“Yeah, Mary and I could come to stay when we are out of school and Frank too if he doesn’t have a lot of projects lined up.” A teary yet hopeful response fell from Jade and Frank squeezed gently around her waist, smiling. 

“I’m sure we can figure that out down the road. I can make my own hours after all.” He held out his hand to Curtis. “Everett, you are welcome to come to fix some boat engines anytime. Like I said before, I can find you work whenever you want to get away from that Minnesota winter.”

Curtis laughed while returning the handshake. “Likewise, all this sun hasn't completely fried your brain, I will show you how to work those locomotive ones.” Letting go of Frank's hand, he knelt down to Mary’s level. She had a bit of a pout as she gave Curtis a big sad look. “What’s wrong kiddo?” 

“I don’t want you and Y/N to go home.” 

“Ahh, I know, but this is just a goodbye for now. We will skype soon. Y/N is always talking to Jade.” 

“Yeah… kinda like when I talk to Evelyn in Boston? She likes to come visit all the time for surprises.” 

“Yeah, without letting us know.” Frank grumbled and Jade elbowed him lightly. “That’s Mary’s grandmother.” Frank explained, giving a shrug as if that explained it all. 

“A lot like when you talk to Evelyn. Plus Jade was just saying about coming to stay with us.” Curtis smiled as he hugged Mary gently. Mary nodded, apparently satisfied with his answer, and went to wrap you in a big hug. Jade softly whispered to Frank, who lightened up seeing his typically closed-up niece warm up to you and Curtis. 

With final goodbyes said, you waved as Frank drove away, Curtis hugging you from behind while you gave a sigh. “I’m gonna miss them. But…” You twisted in his arms and looked up over his head. “I’m looking forward to staying at the Ritz.” 

“Shall we go check out our room?” He asked. “Fanciest place I’ve ever been.” 

“Let’s!” You unwrapped from around him and while he grabbed the bags, you held out your hand to take some but he slipped his hand in yours instead, leading you in. 

Check in was fairly quick and Curtis fidgeted in the elevator a bit. He felt out of his element having never stayed a place quite like this. You were bubbling with excitement though and that made him pleased seeing you so happy for a fancy hotel room all to yourselves. 

You ran the key card through and opened the door wide to a beautiful room with a huge king size bed that looked luxuriously piled with pillows, other seated chairs and table littered with a gift basket spotting champagne and robes. Beyond that was an open balcony with comfortable seating to face a magnificent view of Florida's white beach and turquoise ocean. “Wow” Curtis whistled softly as the door clicked closed behind the two of you. 

“Isn’t it beautiful? They have a pool, golf course and some other things if you want to check them out.” You pushed the curtains wide open and cracked the balcony door open to step out onto it. Several floors up gave you the best of views and Curtis felt all that anxiety fade away seeing how happy just being here made you. His arm settled around you and you leaned into him to enjoy the Florida sunshine that was slowly starting to fade into evening. “It’s nice to visit places like this.” 

“Yes, it is a lot different from Duluth.” Curtis observed, watching as lights sprang on across the golf course in the distance. 

“But… I am always glad to go home.” You admitted as you grasped the banister and leaned over it, looking down. Curtis let his hands slide to grasp your waist, resisting the urge to pull you back into him. “Hey, they have a mini golf course not too far from here.” 

Curtis took the chance to look over the edge to see where the course was. It appeared to be at the end of a strip of tourist shops, a large pirate ship looming among rolling green hills and water features, neon lights bouncing around it. “Wanna go play?” He asked and you nodded enthusiastically. 

After changing clothes- you into a tank top and skort, Curtis in a pair of cargo shorts and a faded tee, he ushered you out of the room without your purse, insisting that tonight it was date night and he wanted to fund wherever the night took you two. Even though you protested, he wrapped you into his hold, refusing to budge. “Let me treat my girl to a date, hmm?” You finally relented that this night was on him.  

The walk to the mini golf course was leisurely. The crowds of people bypassing you and Curtis in their rush to be somewhere else made for interesting people watching. You both were all about just enjoying the slowing of the day, how the night was slipping in its place, hand in hand you two strolled along the street. Curtis soaked in the bustle of the city's tourist area, shops opening their doors for people and nearby the scent of food sizzling made him pause, you drawing ahead of him for a second till you felt his hand tug against yours. “You hungry, Honey?” 

Your quizzical look softened into a smile, catching what had made him pause. “Yes, I could eat.” 

A nearby taco truck had a small line and you both stepped behind the last person waiting, glancing at the menu board. Stepping up, the person leaned against the truck's counter, pen in hand. “What can I get you two?” 

Curtis cleared his throat while studying the board. “Can I get a couple of the carnita tacos? Along with a corona.”

While he pulled out his wallet, you went ahead with your request. “Shrimp tacos with extra lime wedges and one of your margarita specials please.” 

“Sure.” He eyed the two of you and must have deemed you both of age because he rang up your total and shouted out the order. You both were handed your drinks, yours in a paper cup for easy disposal and Curtis requested more lime wedges, fitting them into his bottle of Corona till they floated in the glass bottle. 

The smell of the seasoned meat sizzling made Curtis stomach rumble, making you laugh as he groaned with want. You hugged around him, nuzzling against him affectionately. “Did we eat lunch today?” 

“I don’t think so. Why I’m starving.” He huffed against your hair, his hand rubbing down your back to lightly grasp your ass through your clothes, making you muffle a whine against his chest. 

“For food Curtis, you're starving for food.” You poked playfully at his ribs while you two hovered out of the way but still near the truck for when their food was finished. 

“I can be starving for more than one thing.” He grinned just as his name was called. Untangling from you, he went to get the tacos while slipping a tip in a jar near the register. The tacos were carefully set in paper trays, enabling you two to continue on toward the mini golf course while eating. 

You carefully grasped your taco, the flour shell still warm while the slaw drizzled partially on your hand, making you lap it away. That first crunchy bite, the slaw a fresh burst of veggies mixing with the sizzling grilled shrimp and bite of cilantro lime salsa. It was heaven, you closed your eyes and paused as you chewed slowly, savoring the flavors. 

Watching you enjoy your food, the pleasured look in your features, Curtis mentally labeled that as one of his favorite moments of this trip. You were totally in the moment, your face a look of bliss showing that you were thoroughly appreciating. No worries of being seen by others, or preparing to throw half of it away, claiming you were full when he knew you really weren’t. When your eyes slipped back open, you caught him watching you, giving an embarrassed little grin while swiping at your lips. You held up your last bite of the first taco in your tray, offering him the bite. “Lemme try yours.” You said and he held out his tray for you to take his after he took your last bite from your fingers. “These are so good.” 

“We could start making these at home.” Curtis agreed as he washed his last few bites down with the icy cold corona. “Although they won’t be as good as food trucks while we are on vacation.”  

Arriving at the mini golf course, you were feeling giddy while you two grabbed your balls and putts. There were a few other couples and kids scattered around the course, but otherwise being mid-week it seemed fairly quiet. Dropping your ball, you shook your hips while situating yourself up to shoot towards the first hole, just getting it between two pools of water that had octopus tentacles coming up through the pools.

“Easy shot.” You challenged with a glance over your shoulder. Curtis smirked back at you, leaning against his putt while watching you. The hat he was wearing to help with the sun was now slipped backward, letting you see his eyes assessing every move you made. 

You stalled a second, the fuzziness that the margarita made you feel overpowered by the idea that maybe he didn’t like you teasing like this, that you looked ridiculous shaking your hips the way you were with the way he had his slight scowl. But his gaze went up your body and he gave a deep sigh like he was refocusing himself. “That might be an easy shot but fuck, Honey.” His eyes glanced around the small park warily before settling back on you. “I don’t know if I can keep my hands to myself till we get back to the hotel. Do it again.” 

That negative worry from earlier dissipated, it was game on at that moment. “Guess you are gonna have to really focus on the game.” You let your hips shift again and an audible groan came from him. 

“Yeah, focusin’ on somethin’.” 

You took your shot and the ball whizzed wildly down the green grass path to putter into the hole, making Curtis give a clap of his hands in congratulations while he dropped his ball in place. “Easy shot for you too.” You assured him, making sure to step away to watch him. Curtis, as always, fell all into the moment. His legs shifted his weight back and forth to center himself, all while taking easy measured strokes trying to gauge where to hit the ball. In those moments, you let yourself appreciate how he looked with taunt muscles in his back flexing beneath his shirt, pulling at the corner of your lip while your eyes mapped the way his tee tightened in his shoulders and down his muscled back. 

Sure he was every bit of a relaxed looking tourist with the backward NASA baseball cap, some tee shirt Jade bought him with a ridiculous saying about how he got his crabs at Dirty Dicks, a popular restaurant in the area, to khaki cargo shorts that almost looked dark against his very pale legs that were hidden for months by long pants in Minnesota. To you though, he looked sexy and that little tingle of anticipation built in your belly. A clenching need that you knew Curtis would much appreciate. 

Of course his ball whizzed right in, making him pump his fist in victory, a grin on his face as he looked over his shoulder at you. 

The competitive side flared in your belly, making you sidle up to him. “Wanna make it interesting Curtis?” 

His arm slung back comfortably around you as you two made your way to collect the balls and go to the next hole. “I’m listening.” 

You strolled onto the next spot, unweaving from his hold to face him. “You win… you can do whatever you want to me tonight.” His brows shot up in interest. “I win, the same goes for me.”

“I’m winning, Honey.” He assured you after hearing the prize and you wiggled your brows at him while dropping your ball at the next hole. 

“I’m gonna make you work for it.” You aimed your shot, now focusing more than ever on the next obstacle. This one proved to be harder but you took a couple shots and finally got it in. Curtis, having taken this bet pretty personal, managed another hole in one. 

You two spared back and forth, trying to best one another but you both stayed so close in points. At the last hole Curtis was ahead… by one point if your calculations were accurate. 

It was almost nerve wracking at this point. One hand if you won, you got to pick how your evening played out, but that was almost daunting. You always tried to pick out what your partner would like. You know if you did win, Curtis would absolutely insist on doing whatever you wanted to do, no matter what.  

It was enough to waver your hand on your putter, quiver in anticipation and anxiety as you wracked your mind trying to decide how to take this shot, let it swing wildly away from the hole or actually try and sink it. What would Curtis want? 

“Hey…” His hand rested against your back while you exhaled all that energy. “You got this. Take the shot.”

You smiled at him, letting your worries melt away at that moment and let your putter hit the ball, which almost seemed like it was gonna swing away from the hole. But it swung closer, following the tilt of the course and zipped right in. 

“Well fuck, Honey, no way I can beat that.” Curtis sighed as if in defeat, but the crinkle in the corner of his eyes and the barely their proud grin showed. He let his ball bounce at his feet, positioning it with his toe. “But damned if I’m not gonna try.” Curtis made a show of angling himself just right and hit. His ball did the opposite of yours, wildly flying and bouncing right off the course, making him groan and you laugh as you looked in the deep pool of water it landed in. 

“Gone.” You twirled to face him, biting your lip. “I win.” 

“Mmhh, you did Pretty Girl.” His hand was warm as it cupped your cheek, a thumb dragging against the corner of your mouth. You took it as enough incentive to bite gently onto the tip of his thumb, sucking his thumb enough to twirl your tongue around it. “I hope you got some ideas for me.” Right now your mind was going blank of thoughts, staring up at lust blown eyes almost black with just slivers of blue, his warm skin heated and an earlier sunburn across his face was starting to fade, making all his freckles stand out that much more. “Fuck the things you can do with that mouth of yours Pretty Girl.” His hold tightened, catching your tongue from its swirling motion. “Save that for later. Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

When his hand moved, reaching to grasp yours, you eeped a yup and followed him out of the mini golf course park. The walk back to the hotel was much more rushed, now a real destination in mind. It seemed like the hotel was so far away, but before you could comprehend where you two were, Curtis was pinning you in the elevator, kissing you hungrily while you clutched at him, trying to keep up with his energy. You ended up tilting your head back against the steel wall while he pressed a palm against one of your breast and muttered how fucking hot you were taking those shots earlier. Your hand shot up, nails scraping through the short buzzed hairs and grasping the back of his neck to pull him into a tongue tangling messy kiss, panting against each other as the elevator door finally opened and you both tumbled into the hallway, groping at each other while making it to the door. 

The way you were acting you would think the two of you were horny teenagers unable to have any control. Somehow you worked the key card into the door while Curtis ran his hands all over you, sliding under your tank shirt and giving a pull to your nipples, making you sag against him while closing your eyes, groaning. 

“Do it again Curtis.” You muttered as the door clicked open and he rumbled a chuckle against your neck as he sunk his teeth in your skin, tasting you with his tongue. His fingers twisted a nipple, making you hiss at the borderline pleasure and pain. With a gentle nudge behind you, Curtis got you in the room and door locked. 

In the dim outside light streaming into the room, you turned to see him stalking towards you, catching you up in his hold once more to back you to the bed till you stumbled back on it and he followed you, careful to hover over you while he made you breathless in his kisses, his hips pressing to yours where you could feel his cock hardening. “Now… You get to pick what you want.” He drew away, hands planting against the mattress to lift himself up. 

“Um- what do YOU want Curtis?” You countered, moving up to your elbows to prop yourself up. 

“Nu-uh Pretty Girl.” He smirked, dragging a finger along the curve of your face. “You won, fair and square.”

“You let me win.” You muttered with narrowed eyes, making him grin without even denying it. Instead he swooped back in, catching your lips with his, drawing out a needy moan. Your mind raced as he continued kissing and nibbling on your neck, his hand still cupping a breast and teasing your nipple through the fabric. How were you supposed to think when all you could do was feel his weight pressing heatedly against you, the hot touch of smooth lips and tongue that were followed by the bristles of his beard flaring your skin. His hand made you arch into him, dragging your nails down his upper back and press him down harder while you whimpered for him. “Curtis, fuck I can’t think right now.” 

“Mmh Pretty Girl, you are not supposed to think Honey.” A nudge of his nose behind your earlobe before his lips skimmed the shell of your ear. “What do you feel like? Riding my cock? Worshiping you? Bending you over? There is a nice balcony outside.” 

Those all sounded good, but your mind swirled with the thoughts of his beard buried between your thighs, those vividly blue eyes staring up at your body while you withered against his mouth. Heat raced up your body at the thought, so sinful in your mind but you hadn’t let him do that since Christmas Eve to you and just the thought made you tingle with desire all over. “I know what I want.” You whispered out, making Curtis push up enough to look down at you, waiting for your answer. You felt shy, biting on your lip as you tried to say what you wanted. You knew he enjoyed it, craved it as he admitted he enjoyed oral with his partners when you first started dating. There was still that touch of self-doubt that you weren’t small enough for it. His hand swept through your hair, grasping enough to tilt your gaze up to meet his own. 

“Come on Pretty Girl, tell me what you want me to do, let me worship you.” 

Worship, you always felt that way with him. It was like Curtis couldn’t get enough in the months you two have been together and it was so easy to give him this you found, it made him so satisfied to take care of you. You eased up, that worry taking a backseat in your mind the more confident you became at the moment. Curtis patiently held himself above you, just waiting for whatever you wanted. 

“Taste me.” You slid a finger against his mouth which he kissed your fingertip while arching his brow, studying you to see you were serious. 

“Anywhere?” 

You gave a nod and Curtis pushed up to a stand, shedding his shirt. “Honey, I’m gonna need you out of those clothes, now.” 

You pushed up to your knees on the bed, shifting over to the edge of the bed where he was standing, working his belt open. You grabbed the leather, pulling it out of the loops and dropping it on the floor, admiring the swirls of ink across his chest in a pattern that made you heated. “Yes Sir.” You muttered as your fingers explored across quivering abs and muscled pecs dusted with hair. Another movement had you stepping off the bed, standing before him while your fingers traced up a toned chest, making his muscles twitch at the sensation of your touch.

You sensed the change in him, the quirk of a dark brow and inquiring eyes. “You being a minx tonight Honey? Sir?” Wrapping your fingers into his chain, you levered yourself to your toes, nipping on his mouth, asking, begging for him to let you in. 

“You got bossy, I got obedient.” You whispered just before you pressed your lips to his and a sharp hunger seemed to overtake Curtis. Tongue plunged against yours and a heavy groan emitted from his chest in that kiss. Hands started to get frantic against each other. Your hands started to tug at his button and fly, working his cargo shorts open and there was a sharp ripping sound of where your tank top strap popped its seams, making you giggle against his lips. 

“It was in my fucking way.” Curtis didn’t even apologize while you broke away, tugging off the rest of your clothes while he did too. You just lost the last of your clothes when you felt his hands envelope around your waist, hands gliding your curves before he backed you into the hotel's balcony glass window, the solid feel making you arch off the slightly cool chill at your back, looking up at him wide eyed. “You gave me a real sweet taste on Christmas Eve Honey. But I’m starving now, I’m always gonna want more.” 

His tone, the way he dropped his gaze to look down your naked body when he used his name for you made a fire swirl in your belly, pinprick your skin, and flare your nerves till you felt frayed. So simple, just with his words you were turned on. Your cunt already wept, slicking your folds and you had to rub your thighs together, trying to alleviate yourself before the two of you even started. “I- uh- fuck.” You muttered, stuttering over your words at the intensity bristling in the air between you. You felt so naked and exposed before him. 

And Curtis looked at you like he couldn’t wait to taste every inch of you, flaws and all. 

“You said taste anywhere I want?” He softened as he stepped in closer, his cock pressing against your belly and he let his hands cup your face. “Right here first.” His tongue trailed along your parted lips, nipping the corner of your mouth while you gasped softly, Everywhere his body pressed against yours was hard and unrelenting against you. Like he was trying to mold you against him. 

Until he shifted to the curve of your neck, this time his teeth sinking in enough for a hint of pain to make you gasp and arch, rubbing against him. Your hands couldn’t stop touching him, fingers brushing along his back, finding the dips of shifting muscles. You would dig in, making him curse against your skin at the pleasure it brought. Where he bit you, his tongue soothed it away with praising murmurs. 

“Fuck Sweet Girl, you know I’m addicted to you?” His hands settled on your hips as he flowed down your collar bone. You dug into his shoulders, arching once more to your toes with a slight whimper escaping while this man lowered to his knees before you again, looking up at you like you were a goddess. 

He didn’t seem to notice the low hang of your belly, the stretch marks that marred your skin from being pristine and perfect, the way rolls pulled on your sides and dimpled your skin. Instead he was worshiping at your breasts, once more letting his teeth claim you, marking you as his while his hands felt you, sliding along the back of your thick thighs to dig his fingers into the globes of your ass, press you into him that much more. 

A man starved, his groans of appreciation mingling with your sighs and whines. Curtis kissed on your hips, rubbing a bristled chin against the folds leading to your pussy, his blue eyes so heated that you felt yourself melting, turning into a puddle and if he wasn’t holding you up against the glass, you just knew you would be on the floor. 

It was so intense, so wanting and Curtis paused a moment from teasing you to press his face against you, pressing his forehead against the fullness of your lower belly and nose in the curls on your pussy, your hand brushed through the buzzed hair on top of his head, biting your lip to keep from saying anything. 

Even now you felt the need to apologize for what you thought were your imperfections. His back expanded slightly from his inhale before he lifted away to look up at you. “Nothing will ever make me harder than being able to see you like this, Honey.” 

“Like what Curtis?” You whispered while his hand cupped the back of your thigh to lift your leg up to a powerful shoulder, draping your calf over his back. 

“Open, free, unafraid to let me be with all of you.” He let his tongue sear over the top of your mound taste your folds. He hadn’t even properly tasted you and you could feel the quiver of your spine threaten to weaken. Curtis must have felt the slight waver in your body because his grip tightened and his shoulders tensed that much more, a solid force under you. 

“Fuck you taste-” Curtis groaned into your aroused body while his tongue worked to a more intimate spot, teasing your clit with sharp laps with the tip of his tongue and slow pulls of drawing it between his lips, teasing you all that much more. 

You let your head tilt back to bang lightly against the glass, breathing heavily while you palmed a breast, pushing and pulling your softness to appease the burning in your veins. A hand pushed harder against your thigh, spreading you wider apart so he could bury his face in against you. 

You caught your balance with a hand to the back of his neck, tightening your leg hooked over his shoulder. “Don’t stop.” 

Somehow he pressed in closer, starving as he drank your arousal, filling you with his tongue. You could have sworn he growled against you, claiming he wasn’t ever planning on stopping. Not only were you feeling every touch, Curtis kept groaning and moaning against you while his fingers and tongue worked you into a desperate frenzy.  Needing and wanting more, it was stealing the air from your lungs. The sensation of his fingers filling you, pressing alongside his tongue, you finally gave a shuddered cry out.

“Curtis!” Your nails scraped at the back of his head, trying to grab on. It resulted in pushing him closer, riding his face as you ground against him. His beard was prickly against your sensitive core, but slipping in the slickness coating you. 

“Just give me one on my tongue, Pretty Girl.” Curtis pulled away to take a deep breath, the outside lights making his jaw glisten from you. “I’m so fucking hard for you right now that I can’t stand it much longer.” 

One, you could give him one. You gave a jerky nod as his hopeful gaze turned sinfully feral. His teeth bared hungrily for a second. You had never been more turned on seeing a man. None other had ever gone to your feet, not like this.

“Let me hear you come, Honey.” 

It wasn’t hard to give that to Curtis, not with the way you went mindless, lost in all the sensations this moment was bringing you. 

You couldn’t go higher, yet you did. Soaring couldn’t even describe the sensation you were riding. You were soaring, the glass now vibrating against your back as you once more pushed back against it with a bang, your head tilted back to look at the heavens while Curtis brought you there. 

When you came, it was a sharp plea to catch you. Curtis wrapped arms tight around your hips as he drank you down. Curtis eased you through it till you were pushing at his forehead, your tongue unable to make the pleading words for him to stop. But he didn’t need them. 

Easing away from you, he sat back enough to give you space, letting your thigh ease off his shoulder and you sagged against the window. “Your turn, Curtis.” 

His hand swept up and down his heavy cock a moment while he kept you pinned against the glass with his other. “Honey, you’re shaking still, let’s take a moment.” 

You pushed against him to pry yourself off, leaning down to slide your tongue over his lips to claim him, pulling a hungry groan from him and a stutter in his touch on himself, having to fist his hand around himself. “Outside Curtis, there is another balcony railing and I’m going to need to be muffled.” 

Curtis snapped away, his hand moving off himself to grasp gently around your throat and slowly raise up to a stand, keeping you in his secure hold while you followed him on shaky legs. You craved another taste of his mouth, laden with traces of you. His mouth was so close you could feel the barely there touches passed between your lips. 

“Honey, you know me so well already.” His eyes were fiercely expressive. Brimming with possessive lust and need. “But I’m not keeping you muffled.” 

When Curtis brought you outside with all the city's bright neon lights shining below, he bent you against that railing and you had never been more glad to win a game. 

[kloppinthekop]

Have you ever wondered if among trent/jude/dom there is someone who is jealous type? Or are all of them like that? I feel trent & jude could be but not domi.

How do they deal with jealousy? And what are the stuff that turns them green with envy?

Oh good question, @lfcgirl23! 🌙 Hmmmm I feel like they’d all be jealous but in slightly different ways/to different degrees. I’ll start with Domi because he’s a Scorpio, and as a fellow Scorpio I feel like maybe I have some insights there (or maybe I’m just projecting, haha).

♏️ I feel like Domi would love very deeply, and he gets tunnel vision once he finds someone he really likes/loves. It’s a love that borders on obsession- but not necessarily in a toxic way. He wants to be so close, so intimate, that it would almost be like them becoming one person. So naturally, if he gets any inkling or suspicion that someone else is hitting on his partner, or that his partner’s eye might be straying, he would immediately try to find out exactly what is going on and try to shut it down. He’d set firm boundaries, and stick to them. He’d rather end a relationship than be strung along like a puppet on a string. If you cheat on him, it’s over immediately- no second chances: it’s just done, and he will cut off all contact. He is the type to hold onto a grudge for a lifetime, even after the other person has long forgotten or forgiven. The flip side of this is that he is intensely loyal—as soon as he’s in a serious relationship, that’s it for him: his heart will never stray once he properly falls in love with someone (that someone being Trent in my head, obviously).

♎️ With Trent, he’s a Libra—he is a bit flirty with multiple people (albeit awkwardly flirty, haha), so he really is in no position to be judging others… But, the other factor that goes against that is how incredibly competitive he is about everything. He almost views love as another playing field—not that he treats it only as a game, but that he always wants to win, be the best. So if he thinks that his partner isn’t fully invested in just him, he’s going to be pretty annoyed. He probably wouldn’t confront the situation head-on, at least not at first—he would likely try to drop subtle hints, would probably be a brat about it, starting little fights or changing up his behavior in order to signal that he is not happy with being ignored/treated second best. For Trent, love is about quality time together—so if you start cancelling dates or flaking on him, that’s when the jealousy kicks in. He doesn’t want to appear like he is jealous, because that could be seen as a weakness, but inside it’ll just rankle his spirit until eventually there’s a big argument and he has to finally admit that he is, in fact, susceptible to jealousy.

♋️ I don’t know enough about Jude to give an extended analysis, but if we’re just going off vibes/star sign, he’s a little more laidback at first when it comes to relationships, having fun and vibing on dates—but once he is serious with someone, he (like Domi) is very loyal. He is used to getting what he wants (and to be fair, he puts in the work to earn it), and any real relationship he’d be in would be no different. His star sign is Cancer (a water sign like Domi), so he feels very deeply, but he’s less intense than a Scorpio would be. He’s a bit of a sensitive soul—not as a weakness, but more in the sense that he has a lot of love to give, and just wants to be loved as much in return. He loves physical touch, would love to cuddle constantly and play with his partner’s hair. He’d be green with envy if he saw his partner touching someone else, especially if he suspects that it’s something beyond just a friendly pat on the shoulder or a goodbye hug. Jealousy for him looks a lot like heartbreak, a lot of trying to hold back tears but ultimately breaking down and crying. But if it’s real love, he’s willing to work through his feelings and make things work out.

𓂃₊ ⊹ Thanks for the ask! ✨

[toxicanonymity]

Joelkémon Astrology

by @wannab-urs. thank you, gin! this is so cool! joelkemon cards here for reference.

@wannab-urs asked:

Hey I Did Something:

The Joelkemons in love according to astrology (venus sign) I made them all born in 2023 and in Austin, Texas. (According to cafe astrology, which is probably not great but idk what I’m doing)

This is also based purely on their venus signs, which is why very different Joel’s might be grouped together – their other signs would provide nuances (I’ve noted a couple).

Here is a venus sign calculator; remember to use this to calculate your compatibility not your sun sign. 

Venus in Aries

Trouble: March 11

Up front, direct, daring; kind of a “me-centered” approach – they want you to know they are capable and independent; can be childish and impatient, but for the right person this will be charming not off-putting

They like energetic, active lovers; they do not like stuffiness or overly “mature” relationships, vagueness, or indirectness.; hopelessly addicted to the conquest. You have to keep it interesting

To attract them, be direct, open, and honest with them, feed their need for spontaneity, and appreciate their playfulness; Aries likes to take the lead in love (even if their Sun Sign is Pisces like Trouble); Indulge them their many whims, and understand that they thrive on competition, even when they're competing with you

Best matches: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini

Venus in Taurus

Nightwalks: March 21; Raider: March 24; Stepdad: April 7

Love centers on the physical world and creature comforts -- they revel in sensual surroundings; these people project themselves as solid and comfortable. In fact, something about their manner promises they will be satisfying lovers and partners; require lots of "hands-on" expressions of love; they resist change in their relationships, so they are constant partners; Can be possessive in love (Raider?)

They need a certain measure of predictability and dependability in their relationships, even if their Sun is in the more spontaneous signs of Aries like all of these boys. Nightwalks is on the cusp with Pisces sun, so do keep in mind he’s a little different; They like to take it slow, moving too quickly can scare them off, let them set the pace; Emphasize your loyalty and their worth to you. You may need to give in to them in love matters, because they won't readily give in to you! Get physical with them; do comfortable things. Avoid pushing them in love -- give them plenty of time. You will probably need to cultivate patience if you are in a relationship with Venus in Taurus. Remember to be simple and natural -- Taurus will appreciate it. Promise them a comfortable, cozy time. Love arrives slowly, without passion but with force.

Best matches: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer

Venus in Gemini

Lincoln: April 19; Thighs Out: April 29

Will try to win over the object of their affection with witty conversation, displaying just how much they "know," and demonstrating their diverse interests; These lovers are playful -- some might even call them a tease; They are hard to pin down, and they resist relationships that promise to become too "comfortable.”

Want want their relationships to be stimulating and full of conversation; They appreciate lightheartedness in love. Although they are willing to talk (perhaps endlessly) about the relationship, you may get the feeling that they gloss over some of the deeper issues. In love, their tastes change often, and it can be hard to know what to expect from one day to the next (or, sometimes, from one hour to the next!).

Support their need for fun and variety; show interest in their brainpower and knowledge; and give them space for friends and activities outside of the relationship. Let them know just how much fun you have with them. Try not to get overly miffed by their changeable, fickle ways. 

Best matches: Libra, Aquarius, Leo

Venus in Cancer

Slasher: May 11

Sensitive in love; their egos are a little underdeveloped when it comes to love, but they have a lot to give in return: namely, security, comfort, and care. Show their love by caring for you; They pay more attention to your feelings than your words, and observe you rather carefully. (Slasher knows what your body wants, even if you say otherwise); They can be a little moody in love, and some go so far as giving silent treatments and engaging in pouting routines to get attention from their mate.; They are not afraid of emotional confrontations, but are always worried they'll be left high and dry; If you've hurt them, they'll have a hard time forgetting.

They are turned off by anything too impersonal, and too much rationalizing leaves them cold; Sometimes, they'll retreat into themselves (not unlike a Crab), and it can be difficult to pull them out; they like a committed, predictable, safe, solid relationship; they like lots of snuggling and sentimentality; Help them to feel confident with you -- when they are fearful of being rejected, they can resort to some frustrating tactics to find out just how loved they ar;. Do your best to make them feel secure and cared for, and you will be rewarded with a patient, dependable, and loving mate.

Best matches: Scorpio, Pisces, Virgo

Venus in Leo

Vamp: June 11; Jojo: August 14

They are proud, even boastful; demanding lovers; loves to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special; they are warm and generous and very loyal; they thrive on attention from lovers or love interests; they will tell you about any advances made on them, remember, they're just showing off to you; despite that, they’re quite jealous; They have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you'll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. 

Threatened by relationships that feel too settled and indifferent or impersonal behavior

They need a lot of love and struggle to separate sex and love, but would not last as long in a relationship that is mostly sexual as they would in a relationship devoid of sex; however, neither is likely to work. They need a lot of love AND sex; you shoul pay loads of attention to them; remind them how wonderful they are; Respect and appreciate them, always; Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. Never comment negatively on their appearance. They might lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest from you; If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know – your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

Best matches: Aries, Sagittarius, Libra

<3

[cant-get-enough-btr-forever]

"Big Time Battle of the Bands", Chapter 10: Big Time Fight

Shortly after Katie's tiff with Bitters, Jessica was scanning the vending machine. "Hmmm..." she hummed to herself. "What do I want today?"

James smoothly slid up to her side, startling the daylights out of her. "How about a pipin’ hot slice of..." He leaned against the machine and pointed at himself. "...James Diamond?"

Like a train, Jessica was hit with déjà vu from the day before. She quickly squashed the thought. "Um...no." she replied, much to his surprise.

She put a few quarters into the machine and pulled out the packet of Fruit Smackers. Noticing that James had disappeared from her side, she turned to walk away.

Jessica gasped as she collided with a muscled chest. James, who had been working up the courage to say more, looked equally startled. Both of their hearts raced as they stared into each other's eyes.

Her lashes fluttered for a moment before she mumbled, "Uh, sorry," and backed away. James laughed skittishly and cleared his throat. "Y-yeah! No, it—it's cool! Anyway, uh...I thought you should know that Hawk is Satan, and you should run for the hills while you still can." he stumbled out.

Jessica's face congealed into a half-shocked, half-angry expression. "Wait, what?! You know, you’ve got a lot of nerve! Mr. Hawk is a wonderful man. He made your dreams come true, and you never even thanked him." she exclaimed.

"Oh, interesting. Well, let me tell you something." he said sarcastically. "Life with him wasn’t a ‘dream.’ It was a nightmare. He tried to pull me away from my friends. Know what else Mr. Wonderful did? Kidnap us and tie us up!"

She scoffed. "Do you honestly think I’m gonna believe that?” She crossed her arms. “Wanna know what I think? I think you want my group to pull out of the competition because you know Big Time Rush is gonna lose." She gave him a self-satisfied smirk.

James let out a high-pitched yelp. "Hey, my boys and I could out-sing Cross My Heart any day of the week, missy!" he fired back.

Jessica sighed and began walking backwards down the lobby, keeping her eyes on him. "Thanks for the ‘advice.’ But you can just stay away from me, okay?"

He glanced behind her. Katie had finished setting up her trap for Mr. Bitters. "Uh, Jessica?"

"My friends and I are big girls, and we're willing to take our chances." she continued, still walking backwards.

James gulped. "O-okay, but—"

"Not another word, James!” she cut him off. “You wait. Mr. Hawk is gonna make us staaAAARRRS!!"

Jessica had tripped over a wire, which Katie had stretched between two posts. Fruit Smackers went flying as she fell flat on her back. She stared up at the ceiling, groaning. That's when she noticed the white spot on the ceiling. To her horror, the spot was rapidly getting closer. It landed with a loud splat.

The people around her roared with laughter. She coughed and sputtered, furiously wiping whipped cream from her face. Mr. Bitters approached her, looking concerned. He smiled and handed her a T-shirt. "Here. Consider it compensation." He continued on his way, whistling cheerfully.

Behind a plant, Katie gawked from under her tree hat. She swiftly tiptoed away.

Jessica looked up to find James awkwardly staring at her. "Well, I bet you’re seein’ stars right now, huh?" he joked lamely.

She glared daggers at him through the cream that dripped from her forehead. He nervously brushed past her towards the elevator, leaving her alone on the carpet.

......

James rushed into the Crib, slammed the door, and leaned against it. Logan was sitting on the sofa. He was tinkering with some cardboard and paper, obviously in the middle of a project. His concentration was immediately broken by the door slamming.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Fanservice." he greeted dryly.

"Uh, hey, Logan! What—what's goin' on?" James said, sensing some hostility in the air.

"Oh, nothing much. Just, you know, been waiting for you to get back and help me, like you promised you would. So what were you doing, hmm?" Logan said. "Showin' off for your little gang of groupies again? Selling more 'Fandanas', perhaps?" He mimed a derisive pair of air quotes.

James looked offended. "For your information, I was trying to make Jessica see the light. Turns out, she likes staying in the dark. Then things got...complicated, so I left."

Logan burst out laughing. "Oh, suddenly you can't work your magic on a girl? What's the matter, James? Has the 'Diamond' lost its luster?"

"Hey! At least I talk to girls, and cater to my adoring public." James said angrily. "And while the Palmwoods is suffering, all you seem to care about is school and stupid projects!"

Logan was off the sofa in an instant. "Oh, give me a break!" he exclaimed. "You're the one who doesn't have your priorities straight. All you're doing is using the concert as an excuse to build your personal fanbase!"

While this was going down, Kendall and Carlos cheerfully walked in. "We did it, guys! Every single ticket has been sold!" Kendall said, grinning from ear to ear. Their smiles froze as they stared from Logan's scowl and crossed arms, to James' hurt and angry expression.

"Ooh...a stare-down! We haven’t done one of those in a while! Can I join?" Carlos blurted out. Logan shook his head, maneuvered around James, and slammed the door to his room.

James turned to them, wearing a look of outrage. “Well! You try to give your band a little ‘focus’, and someone’s always gotta be there to shoot it down!” After defiantly tying on a blue bandana, he stormed right past them.

The remaining two blinked at each other. "That was weird." Kendall noted. He regarded the box in his hands.

"But we sold out! Woo-hoo!!" they whooped. Following a happy dance, they took two chocolate bars out of the box and heartily chomped on them.

......

Cross My Heart was rehearsing in the spacious Apartment 5E. Hawk had done everything (bribery) to ensure the place looked as lush as possible. He didn't want his blossoming group to lose their worship of him.

"Oh, those Big Time Brats are going down." Jessica sneered, her freshly (and vigorously) washed hair swaying gracefully as she danced. The laughter from a couple hours before rang loud and clear in her ears.

The other girls looked at her, surprised. "That sounds a bit barbarous." Elena admitted.

Mikee turned her red baseball cap to one side and agreed, "Yeah, it sounds kinda mean, too!" Elena rolled her eyes.

"You have to remember, Jess, this is for the Palmwoods. No one is a winner or a loser here." Chloe reminded her. Jessica hesitated, unsure of how to respond.

"Shorty, red tracksuit! Millie, right?" Hawk called, pointing at Mikee. She seemed to be the most adept dancer; she moved rhythmically and enthusiastically.

"It’s Mikee, sir." she politely answered.

"Right. Listen, I'm not feelin’ it from you. Have you always been so...tomboyish?"

She stopped dancing and shifted uncomfortably. "I...guess?"

"Well, it’s clashing with the whole image." Hawk snapped. Mikee blinked, taken aback. The others glanced sympathetically at her.

"And you," he yelled, pointing at Elena. "You have the worst case of pigeon toes I've ever seen! How do you expect to follow in the footsteps of Destiny’s Child or the Spice Girls if you can't even follow your own footsteps?"

Elena looked positively mortified. "Uh...um...I-I..." she stuttered.

Chloe was quick to stand up for her. "Hey, I'm sure the Spice Girls weren't born naturals, either! Learning all this choreography is hard. Especially since the concert is tomorrow, and we've only been practicing for two days."

"And you!" Hawk shouted. "You are too naïve. You know nothing about the real world of performing!"

A few strained moments passed. He sighed, shut off the music, and rubbed his temples. After a calming breath, he smiled. "Listen very closely. Our main objective is not money. Not flashy cars or jewelry. The only focus is letting everyone—especially Big Time Rush—know that there is a new sheriff in town. And that sheriff is you.

"So, I want you chicks to inject your heart, your soul, your every fiber into this performance. Understand? Now," he announced, turning the surround sound system back on, "let’s start over. Jess! We’re gonna kick this off with that showstopping solo, honey.”

The four girls looked at each other. Obediently, they resumed their choreo. After all, if they wanted to make it big, they had to trust Hawk's instincts.

[acourtofquestions]

Why I’m currently mad at Chaol:

… buckle up folks; these ever-changing opinions (started with the Rowan rollercoaster) & are now about to go off the roads (much like Queen of Shadows seems to be preparing me for)…

Honestly, I think I am angrier with him than I was with Rowan. Maybe cause I’m slightly bitter because I did love him (maybe I still do… we shall see) but that came first, so there was a character more than the initial arguments — but even more so because she loved him, and he did love her; it makes it worse — Rowan at least didn’t know her; yes, it made him seem more unjust in his cruelty & anger, it was clearly far more assumption based & projection, but despite how well he managed to know her (& use it to hit where it hurt) he didn’t really know her (not yet, not in the same way). Meanwhile, Chaol KNOWS her & she trusted him; more than almost anyone or “entrusted” (maybe as the better term); giving him her identity after 10 years TEN YEARS on the run she told him.

And when he said those words it was pointed to the fact of knowing her, hurtful in a way only he could be; knowing not only her, but her past, her trauma, her grief, and saying all of it to spite those things; to hurt her. I at least don’t think Rowan wanted to hurt her; he was willing to, he was aware of the bruises he left but with the end goal was not suffering, he wanted to help. Chaol was angry over some petty claim to a broken heart, angry at himself & unable to admit it, angry at her for so many held tallies & mistakes against her, he leaves so much unforgiven & carries such a grudge. He is unwilling to admit to the parts he plays & willing to hurt her for the sake of his anger, regardless of the price; one she will be paying instead. The way he blatantly disregards her; her name, her ideas, her love, her family, her grief, her fear, her… everything; the good she did, the bad he did, what parts they both played. It’s not acceptable.

Not After everything… perhaps one could say it’s because of everything… but it’s just unacceptable. And though there is no “just” nor excuse in trauma; it’s not a competition; he, however, has no reason within it. I’m sorry, but your broken heart is not the same as hers, your year is not the same, you know nothing of duty & horror & guilt & grief; of monsters, & love, & tragedy. And though he has kept his hands mostly clean, he has been privileged; that’s not to say she hasn’t chosen wrongly, she has decided to bloody her hands in wrong ways time & time again. There is no changing that, but she also has not had many choices in her life & the ones she had she made right. She tried to spare you of so much even after & in her own fury over Nehemia… and you just threw her to the wolves like that; just. like. that.

All of this; intent, uneven, ignorant, cruel, small mindedness… it’s shifted into something more menacing; & dare I say tinged with misogyny? His system of; she is erratic, emotional, hysterical, uncontrollable, manipulative, selfish, unpredictable, “monster” thought process of a “tyrant queen”… Not to mention the further concerning growing edge of prejudice; his love & his fear for his friends, his lack of knowledge & blissful ignorance of privilege, has all instead shifted into a “holier than thou” it’s all of them thought process. A belief system built on eliminating danger, on singular right without wrong; dangerously capable justifications & a start to ruin; not just for her, or him, but the world.

[hmtaxidermy]

Howdy! I’m a fellow taxidermist from Texas! I went to lone star state school of taxidermy and have been working in a small shop for the past year. I hope to start my own shop one day- do you have any tips or tricks? What was it like to start your own taxidermy business? What’s been the hardest part? 🦌🖤

Hello!!

First of all, I’m so sorry for taking so long to answer this! I promise I wasn’t ignoring your ask. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how busy it’s been. That being said:

Welcome to the club!

(Loooooong post ahead)

Fair warning, I’m just gonna ramble. I also am still in the infancy of running my own business, so I can’t give you anything with too much meaning, but I’ll try.

It’s been a slow start, but every day my business gets bigger! I think having faith and patience truly is the toughest part. It’s so easy to go a couple weeks with no phone calls and start to worry. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Keep your job at that shop while you build up your business. Only leave when you have consistent work rolling in. I’m not even at that point yet myself! You won’t get a lot of work in under your own business for your first year or two. Take what you can and produce good mounts. The quality will bring in more customers. Never sacrifice it. I’ve gotten a lot of my customers from word-of-mouth alone.

You will need to work on your business’ mounts on your days off. It’s hard juggling your own projects and your day job’s, but you will gain so much needed hands-on experience from your day job that will fast-track the quality of your mounts. Lone Star is great at providing a solid foundation, but I’ve personally found that the repetition of working at an already-successful shop is what’s refined my mounts. That being said, don’t be afraid to look into how the world champions go about their mounts and see if any of their tactics work better for you! (This applies to your business’ mounts only. Mount any work at your job how your boss wants you to.)

No hate to Brian at Lone Star, but there are easier and more effective ways to mount birds than what he teaches. I highly recommend looking into Shane Smith’s tutorials and materials. I personally use Smith’s line of mannequins for all my birds. I think you’ll also find using an artificial beak so much easier than the real one. (Assuming you even took the course that included birds/you even want to offer bird services.)

Not necessary, but I recommend Breakthrough Magazine for tips and tricks from award winning taxidermists. It’s also just nice to look at the competition mounts.

Make a good website for your business that includes a gallery! People are only going to go with you if they like how your mounts look. You can check my website as an example. (Shameless plug: harvestmoontaxidermy.com)

Another hard thing for me, personally, is price-setting. When I first opened HM, I was too scared to price too highly, afraid I’d scare off customers. Don’t do this. Yes, you may scare away some folks, but you’ll find that people are willing to pay your prices. Don’t shortchange yourself, especially with how much work some of this stuff takes! Look up other taxidermy shops in your area and see what they charge as a reference. I can’t tell you exactly what everything should cost because it varies from area to area. My euros may be more or less expensive than the euros in your county.

—

On the more legal side of things:

Go to your city hall and register your business/business’ name. Look up your business’ name ahead of time to make sure no one else has it or something similar in your area.

Use Wildlife Resource Documents (can be found for free on the Fish & Game website) when you intake customers to legally transfer the ownership of harvested game from the hunter to you.

If you plan to work on birds, get a Migratory Bird Permit to be able to legally store and mount them. Do this months ahead of offering bird services. I submitted for mine and didn’t get it back for, like, 5 months.

I like to fill out a WRD when a customer comes in and fill out a “mount desired” form on the back of it. Have your customer sign both sides, agreeing to the WRD and to the mount/price. (Pic attached)

Get a Sales and Use Tax permit. All businesses in Texas (small or otherwise) are required to collect and pay sales tax. Look up what your sales tax rate is in your area. Texas has a flat 6.25% rate, but some cities will add an additional percentage on top of that.

Pay your taxes. You’ll most likely have to pay your sales tax quarterly. You can do so very easily on the Comptroller’s website. You still have to pay income tax at the end of the fiscal year just like everyone else, but you get to deduct your sales tax payments from it!

Open a business checking account with your bank. I don’t remember if it’s illegal to conduct business via a personal checking account, but last I heard it’s at least highly discouraged. It’s also nice to keep it separate either way.

—

Other than that, look into getting catalogs from supply companies! McKenzie, Van Dyke’s, Matuska, Jetz, and Headquarters are all great for mannequins and general supplies. I’ve also got catalogs from TASCO, Joe Coombs, Payer Eyes, and Woodland’s Scenes-n-Nature just in case. I also love using The Taxidermist’s Woodshop for all my euro plaques.

You’ll mainly be using McKenzie for your supplies, but it never hurts to have back-ups. Sometimes a customer prefers a mannequin only Jetz sells, or sometimes you prefer how one company sculpts mannequins for a certain species over another. The more mounts you do under your own business, the more you’ll figure out which product lines suit you best. It’s all trial and error.

—

I believe this should be the majority of it?? Please feel free to reach back out if you’ve got a question over something I haven’t covered.

TLDR; Register your business, get Sales Tax permit and Migratory Bird permit (if mounting birds), Look up your local sales tax rate, Pay your taxes, keep your day job for a while, and most importantly, have faith in yourself.

You’re going to do some amazing things ♥️

[trashlie]

Alyssa Cho: Sexuality and Fitting In

It’s been six months since we finished the Shinlyssa Flashback arc, can you believe that? And it’s taken me all these months to finally start putting together this post lol. 

During the flashback arc, one of the hotly contested theories was: Did Alyssa have a crush on Shinae? It’s easy to think we’re reading into things, especially in a story like ILY where we can’t always, in the moment, see something for what it is, or rather what it will become. It’s easy to overthink things, and sometimes we get focused on things that are red herrings. But, in this case, I think it’s not far from the truth at all. In fact, I think the possibility of Alyssa’s sexuality is a part of why she is so desperate to fit in at all. Especially in middle school, society isn’t always kind to lgbtq folks, and there’s a couple hints that it might be something her family is against, as well. 

Now I want to make it clear from the start: I don’t think we can specifically speculate on what Alyssa’s sexuality is, firstly because there’s a good chance even she isn’t sure and secondly because sexuality is certainly a part of a spectrum and it isn’t something that necessarily stays unwavering. I will also up front state that while my suspicions are that Alyssa leans more towards lesbian, that doesn’t negate the possibility of bi/pan/something less specific. But what I DO want to speculate is how her relationship with her possible sexuality, and thus her relationship with Shinae, heavily factors into her need to conform and fit in. 

I think the beginning of the flashback arc is where we see Alyssa at her happiest, and perhaps her most honest. She has a great time in math club with Alyssa, the teacher gets her excited about the math competitions and the chance to prove herself. But it also is where everything starts to go downhill. 

It doesn’t really need reiterated, because the story has made it very clear, but Alyssa is very driven by attention and praise. But I don’t think it’s blind praise she wants, because she often refutes it from Alyssa. It’s not anything special to her that she can play instruments because anyone can do that; writing music though? That’s special. Alyssa talks about wanting to be liked and popular, but what I suspect she really want is acceptance for who she is, and she quickly learns that it won’t be found here unless she starts faking it. 

She’s an intellectual girl, advanced beyond probably most of her peers, who has no favor for kpop and much prefers the classics, is heavily invested in STEM with a favor for bio engineering. It’s made immediately apparent to her that all of her interests will make her a target. It’s not simply that she won’t fit in - it’s that she sticks out in a way that will make people think her weird and outcast her, and it’s really clear that being ostracized is something she fears. I think it’s important to emphasize that this is a fear; it’s not simply being a preteen and wanting to be liked because you don’t know how to be alone but a fear that drives her to do really rash things and lash out. This fear is compounded by her anxiety. When confronted about the missing science project, when it gets out of her hand before she has a chance to stop it, when confrontation comes to a head, Alyssa goes home, feeling sick and miserable. 

She simply could not handle the confrontation or the ramifications it yielded. 

For Alyssa, fitting in a necessity. 

Early in, Alyssa admits to Shinae that she begged her parents to let her go to public school because she wanted to make friends her own age. I imagine she must have been lonely. I don’t think she was homeschooled with other kids - just her sister, and from the sounds of it, she probably didn’t have friends in her dance lessons. I’m willing to bet they were personal, one-on-one lessons, or else maybe she would have been more focused on making friends with the kids in her class rather than dancing? As it is, dance sounds like it was a passing interest of hers that she didn’t really come to love but was stuck continuing, because the alternative was to tell her parents and that doesn’t seem something she’s capable of. But she also admits to Shinae that she has seen what happens to kids who are outcast and ostracized. She doesn’t want that; it goes against the whole reason she came to public school! Why would she endure that if she could just go back to homeschooling and her loneliness?

Another thing Alyssa notes, though, is this. 

It doesn’t seem like much, in the moment. Alyssa has already talked about how overbearing her parents are, how she expresses interest in something and they shower in it, even it was just a fleeting idea. She seems to feel overwhelmed by them and wants an escape from them, lest they take another thing that interests her and put her through it in a way that makes her lose any fancy she possessed for it. 

But it’s a mantra that comes up again, later. 

For a while during the flashback, I waffled a lot on Alyssa’s sexuality. Was it, I wondered, just a red herring, meant to make us THINK Alyssa had a crush, but it was really more about her internal conflict with her feelings about hurting Shinae and trying to do what she wants? Alyssa (much like Nol does) struggled a lot with her relationship with Shinae vs what she wanted more than anything. She tried to make it worked - tried to find a way to be both Shinae’s friend AND to be popular and well-liked, and when it miserably back-fired on her, she made a choice. 

It was here, though, that I began believe that yes, Alyssa probably did have a crush on Shinae, that Alyssa may, in fact, like girls. 

Alyssa has a secret so deep that she doesn’t want anyone to know, not even Shinae. (Also, note the way she says she didn’t want anyone to find out, not even you, as if maybe, Shinae could have been separate person, who maybe she could tell her OTHER secrets to, if they ever got so far.) She especially doesn’t want the teachers involved, because that will get her parents involved - and they won’t be happy, because they’ll ask things and they won’t like what she has to say. That is, the truth was something that would upset them. 

It’s really important, too, to reiterate that Alyssa’s home life is far from perfect, too. We’ve seen just enough to start to wonder about them. Alyssa’s response to her dad was the most telling - the way she completely changed her whole personality and mood in response to him coming home speaks volumes. 

Shinae doesn’t seem to register what she overheard, but the jagged speech bubbles suggest yelling, Meg and her dad probably arguing loudly. We don’t see anything, so it’s hard to completely read the body language - is Meg just covering hear ear because her father is yelling? Is she holding her hand up because he slapped the side of her face? 

Moreso, when Shinae asks if everything is good at home, and finally brings up the complete 180 change of Alyssa’s, she lashes out again. 

Hiding an angry, controlling, potentially abusive father is probably first nature to Alyssa. She’s learning - she knows what kinds of things will ostracize you, what will make you weird to the others. Isn’t it better to not let them see that side of you? But honestly, further? It reads even more like she’s just not allowed to bring kids around, period, because of him. When Shinae called to check up on Alyssa after checking on her, she asked if she could go over and visit Alyssa again, and her mom told her that she couldn’t. Whether her dad is actually strict about people coming over or Alyssa is just using it as a line to not allow anyone else (and frankly, it feels more like the latter, since she’s still feeling out what is “normal”), the point is: they’re hiding something. 

So Alyssa has a secret she’s so desperate to keep, that she absolutely does not want anyone, not even Shinae, and especially not her parents to find out. 

The other thing that made me start to feel more confidently about this possibility was the language used by the boys bullying Alyssa. It’s language that is very pointedly anti-gay. 

It’s not just simple bullying - it’s not (completely) about the stolen project, it’s not about who she hangs out with or her socio-economic status or who her paents are, or anything like Shinae is bullied for. 

“You’re really cute, you know that? Such a shame it’s going to waste though... Nasty.��� 

What else could they mean by “going to waste” if not that it’s a shame that she, a cute girl, would never date them/some guy, that it’s “wasted” on her going “against the natural order of things” or something equally gross. 

“You know they say people like you have brains that are damaged, right? That’s why you’re the way you are.” 

Homosexuality being written off as a mental illness, as something wrong with the brain, as something that can be converted out of them, as though it’s a defect still remains an argument even in this day and age. Anti-gay hate speech still tries to convince queer folk and especially those who hate or fear them that there is something wrong with them, that they’re defective, that it goes against all that is natural (a man should only lie with a woman). 

These boys are echoing explicit hate speech, and I think it must be tied to the notes in Alyssa’s locker. If they were the same things Shinae is being bullied for, why would she refused so adamantly to tell her about it? If they were bullying her about the same thing, wouldn’t she maybe instead just blame Shinae? But instead, she doubles down on it, because this thing, this thing she’s hiding that she doesn’t want anyone to know about, would ruin everything. Her parents would hate her, and if she were forced to tell them the truth about it, perhaps she’d face even worse consequences with her family. 

Alyssa reiterates that she just wanted to be liked and to fit in. And now, there’s no easy way out of her current situation. She’s conflicted about the choice she has to make. She doesn’t tell Shinae what she’s conflicted about - but I think it’s pretty easy to guess what it is. 

Alyssa’s conflict is: does she remain friends with Shinae who has been nice to her and has treated her so well and probably made her feel special, but also whose relationship has brought Alyssa strife and made others think she might be a weirdo thief in association; or does she do what she set out to and forsake Shinae in favor of the other kids’ approval, to fit in and blend in just the way she wanted? 

We know what choice she made, but despite how things go, I don’t think it was the easiest choice, either. When Shinae calls out Alyssa on things like ignoring her, Alyssa deflects, though not well, and she looks nervous or anxious. When the awful girls are messing with Shinae’s belongings, Alyssa (unsuccessfully) tries to stop them. The whole altercation leading up to Alyssa recoiling and accidentally pushing Shinae out the window seems very much like a battle for Alyssa of what she wants and what she knows is right. 

Shinae had a big impact on Alyssa! She was Alyssa’s first friend, and probably one of the only real, true friends she ever had. Shinae liked Alyssa completely for who she was - for her love for math and science, for her cool trips to cool exhibits, for her ability to play so many instruments. The things that made Alyssa weird to people, Shinae accepted her for. Most importantly, Shinae was a bright beam in her life. She was radiant and seemed so confident and strong and tough - things that Alyssa admired but did not herself possess. 

Sure, it could have just been admiration. After all, when Alyssa began blushing with Shinae, it came off the back of compliments, right? 

Alyssa seems so taken aback by Shinae’s very earnest compliment, by the idea of impressing someone with one of her skills, with the idea of being able to play something for her. But if it was simply about compliments, wouldn’t all compliments make her flush? 

Minhyuk’s compliment doesn’t get much of a reaction from Alyssa. If anyone, she looks a little wary, a little put on the spot. But when Shinae backs him up and reiterates it, she’s back to being flustered, mumbling something Shinae doesn’t catch. 

Something I think is worth mentioning is that quimchee definitely differentiates these kinds of reactions. Blushes are colored red and usually use the lines, but there’s a LOT more cases of the lines being used without a blush. I’ve always thought of that as being flustered - similar to when you embarrass, but perhaps not to the same degree. 

We’ve seen it many times between Shinae with Dieter (compared to Dieter very often going red with the lines). We saw it when Shinae pointed out that Nol’s face had healed by getting very close to him and he got flustered, and even far earlier in the story, when Shinae ran into him in the Hirahara Corp. lobby and he fell out of the chair he was spinning in. 

We even see a small version of the lines on Shinae’s face when she watches Minhyuk at taekwondo and she finds him really cool. 

Now, I’m not trying to say red blush = romantic feelings, although I do think they tend to trend that way. I just want to reiterate that when the red color enters, it feels like more of a flush, a deeply blushing, than just flustered. Blushing can be embarrassment - but we also see it often with the lines (see Nol) or sometimes a sweatdrop. Perhaps quimchee does have a more specific set of rules about this that we’ll one day hear about, but it’s something I try to keep in mind. 

That said, Alyssa blushing A LOT in a black and white flashback where her sexuality has come in to play feels very, very pointed. The flashback has selective color, so Alyssa’s flush stands out. I think it’s meant to. I think we’re meant to infer this. 

Her blushing isn’t simply limited to Shinae praising her, either. 

When Alyssa finds out Shinae was bullied at her old school, she apologizes, and tells her she never would have guessed, asks how she can be so strong. Shinae is nothing but honest, but it’s her brilliant smile that sways Alyssa. 

I think there’s something even more specific about this blush, too. The close up on her face, how we don’t see it all, her eyes withheld, her mouth quivering. Alyssa is so affected by this. It’s not Shinae paying her compliments or praising her. It’s Shinae. Her warmth and radiance and strength and positivity and the way she just shines. 

And that smile GETS to Alyssa!

Alyssa can’t run away this time, so she looks away, but the blush still happens. Shinae’s smile just seems to be so disarming to Alyssa! 

For a while, when I was trying to decide if I thought this was a crush or a red herring, I considered: maybe every time Shinae is so bright and positive, she feels bad because she’s lying to Shinae. She feels bad because she knows Shinae is a better friend than she is. And sure, I suppose that could be. Alyssa doesn’t like when she looks like she’s in the wrong. But given the context of the explicit things the boys said, the bullying that Alyssa wouldn’t open up about, the thing that she absolutely adamantly does not want anyone to know about, that she can’t speak of? 

It feels like it’s exactly what it looks like: Alyssa has a crush on the nice, tough, confident, weird, boisterous girl who is so nice to her and sees something in her. 

Alyssa is so affected by Shinae’s concern, by her expression of actual care. Telling her she misses her, going all the way to her place to check on her, her relief that she’s okay. Alyssa is so touched by the effort Shinae puts forth, so moved to be on the receiving end of it. She just can’t reconcile herself with it. 

Because Shinae represents the thing Alyssa is hiding, that she wants to run away from. She knows the other students think Shinae is weird, and that association with her only pulls down her own reputation. She’s in conflict over what she wants (popularity, so many friends, people to like her to) vs what her heart wants - Shinae’s affection and unabashed confidence and the way she looks in Shinae’s eyes. 

But she can’t admit this to herself. She can’t let her heart, her feelings, rule this conflict. 

I think Shinae hit the nail right on the head - just not in a way she realizes. I think Alyssa IS lying to herself. I think she IS in denial. I think her sexuality is something she’s yet to reconcile, that at this point in time she cannot make peace with. Because people think it’s weird, because they think it’s unnatural, because it’s “wrong”, because they think people like her perverts are monsters. There’s a part of her that she recognizes is not “normal”, in that it doesn’t suit the status quo, what society generally believes to be true, so she hides it. She stuffs it deep down and tries to repress it, to pretend it’s not there, pretend that’s not her, pretend she’s the very picture of “normal” middle school girl. 

She pretends to like the things other “normal” kids do. She starts to feel uncomfortable about the things she DOES like. She’s not embarrassed about math club - she’s just self-conscious. Because being weird makes you stick out. It makes people look differently at you. If you’re “weird” enough, it makes them bully you, ostracize you. 

Alyssa is so lonely and she just wants to fill that void. She thinks fitting in will make it better. She thinks fitting in will protect her. Look how quickly the bully girls change their beliefs about Alyssa, as soon as she pushes all suspicion from her. No longer is she the weird one, suddenly they wall want to be her friend, they think she’s so cool. Just like that. 

Fitting in will afford her protection, because if she’s “normal” enough, no one will suspect her, no one will find her weird, and no one will find out about her darkest secret. It will keep her safe. 

Obviously, this is a naïve belief. Especially in middle school, kids will turn on you for whatever reason. Alyssa is clearly rich, eager to please, and wants to fit in. She’s sold one project and suddenly kids wanted her to do all their work, to benefit from her. It wasn’t real friendship - they just liked her for what she could do to them. But Alyssa is convinced that popularity - that being surrounded by people, by being liked, will protect her. She’ll fit in. She’ll have friends. That aching loneliness that has eaten her up won’t be a problem.

Except none of it is real. The real friendship was Shinae. Shinae was the one who liked her for who she is, not just what she can do for her. Shinae was the one she didn’t have to fake it for, who saw her at her worst and still tried to be her friend. It was the price she paid to protect herself, and her secret. 

But for Alyssa, who may see a part of herself as “wrong” because it won’t be accepted, who is so lonely and just wanted to be liked and to make friends, maybe she hopes that being liked will make up for that “wrongness”. Maybe, if enough people like her, it will make her feel loved in the way she wants, but won’t allow. If she thinks something is wrong with her, couldn’t the love and adoration of the masses, make her feel like it’s not true, cover it up, make it feel like it doesn’t matter? 

I think even now, in the present, it’s possible that Alyssa’s sexuality may be a thing she hasn’t reconciled with. Is she still hiding from it? Is she still fighting to be seen as “normal”? Who was she, before Yui made an idol of her, when she was friends with Nol, Dieter, and Soushi. Did she crave that faux normalcy even then? 

I’ve considered, too, that perhaps Nol provides another benefit he’s unaware of. Again, as I’ve said, we can only speculate on Alyssa’s sexuality, so it doesn’t rule out that she could also like men. But could it be that Nol provides her the protection that she needn’t deal with her sexuality? She has a boyfriend, case closed. It doesn’t matter then, who she’s interested in. It doesn’t matter, because who is going to question anything? 

(Also, tangential, but fake-dating someone who so-very-much resembles young Shinae, with that bright, radiant smile that had a way of always undoing Alyssa? Listen. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence. Even if she’s never had feelings for Nol, I still think she was drawn to him because of how Yeonggi reminded her of Shinae, how he was like an echo of the only real friendship she’d had, and I think that was a big part of the draw. Shinae had such an impact on her that years later, she was shaken to her core by someone whose smile was just as radiant as hers.) 

I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Alyssa’s sexuality, either. It wouldn’t have been repeated so many episodes if not. I always thought that Alyssa’s career will fail at some point, because the whole point of her character is that she is constantly trying to chase love and affection in places she won’t find it, and her fans’ love for her is only conditional. It used to be I thought that bullying allegations would arise and that would cause her call. Claims that Alyssa was involved with a girl who got pushed out of her school window, that she turned on her. It’s so easy to take the truth and twist it up a little. Shinae saw her first bully again when she was buying comics. Who’s to say Sarah Lee won’t show up again to bring down Alyssa. As a former trainee, wouldn’t Sarah have the most jealousy towards Alyssa? But now I do worry that it could be rumors of her sexuality that could be her undoing. After all, how did the boys targeting Alyssa know what they did? Where did they glean the information they used against her? 

I know Alyssa isn’t a popular character with a lot of the choices she has made. But I do think it’s worth acknowledging how her potential sexuality ties into those choices she made, and the kind of pressure she felt to fit in, to be seen as “normal”. A lonely girl who wanted nothing more than to have lots of friends, who probably felt so empty despite her parents’ overbearing interest in her, but who also knew that there was something about her that is considered Not Right, and that it was something that could threaten the very thing she covets - being adored. Idk, I think in that context, her choices make sense. They’re still selfish, she still can’t face conflict, she still doesn’t get that being loved is not about a role but who you are. But I think if she could feel that part of her accepted, if she didn’t fear what her parents would think, if she knew she’d be supported no matter what, maybe she wouldn’t have made those choices. 

Like everyone in ILY, Alyssa has to contend with who she really is and she really wants. Now that she’s an idol, she’s come to realize that even this love is conditional. That it doesn’t fill that lonely void, that it doesn’t replace whatever it is she’s seeking - it just makes it worse. 

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Memes from Reddit Topic “What is a sad truth you’ve come to accept?”

“It's OK to be lonely. But if you are lonely and act like it, it can be one of the most potent social repellents.” “I’m willing to settle for things rather than hurt anyone’s feelings.” “Greed is the underlying cause of a lot of the world's suffering as it allows people to justify doing horrible things” “Why do we need to have multi-billionaires at the same time we have people living in horrible poverty? Why would anyone need four or five houses when so many people are homeless?” “Hard work does not equal success.” “I’m gonna die” “The average human has died more than once” “You can do everything right and still fail.” “Love can destroy your life just as much as it can brighten your life” “ You can go from waking up to the love of your life to waking up to the despair that they’re gone.” “People are stupid.” “Nobody cares about you unless they really know you, and even then it’s a toss up.” “The success of your future relationships is usually decided years before you get into them, by your current actions.” “People don’t love you the same way you love them.” “I can never have another drink of alcohol.” “Life is suffering” “Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work.” “People think love sustains a relationship, but it's the relationship that sustains love.” “I'll most likely never own a house.” “Can’t keep people around they either use me or want me around cause they’re bored” “The overwhelming majority of people you meet only care about what you can provide or do for them and will have no problem with abandoning or upgrading from you once you can’t provide those things for them anymore. Very few people on this world will like you for you.” “I botched it. The whole life thing.” “Like a good third of adults are still essentially children in grown up bodies.” “Being unable to handle getting dumped or initiating a break-up yourself can potentially doom you to the worst things relationships can bring to your life.” “It's becoming more and more clear that I'll be working low end jobs until I'm dead.” “Why do so many people love to tell men that it's okay to show emotions, but then turn right around any time that we do and make it clear that they'd just prefer for us to suffer in silence?” “Every year, one more idiot is elected into an office.” “It doesn't how much you do for someone, they can and will walk out of your life. Let them.” “You really can’t trust anyone.” “You never stop worrying about your kids, no matter how grown up they are.” “If you're looking for a relationship to solve your problems you are going to end-up either being someone's project or taking on one of your own.” “You can really only count on yourself. Sometimes the people you love and trust the most just aren't going to be there for you.” “I’ll never be out of debt.” “I am responsible for all of my problems.” “Life is unfair.” “Humanity is never getting better.” “Pretty much everything is a competition- friends, relationship, jobs, schools.” “You’re never going to be good enough for some people.” “Love always ends with sadness.” “I’m not special nor talented.”

“Sometimes you’re the annoying person everyone hates” “You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.” “Just because someone is family doesn't mean they have your best interest in heart.” “Life is unfair sometimes for no reason.” “The biggest pieces of shit will usually get away with it.” “I did what they wanted but now I'm unhappy with my life.” “Very few people in life will ever give a shit about you.” “Friendships are like plants that have to be watered in order to stay alive. Sometimes we forget to water the plant or choose not to.”

[winterspiderpurrs]

thinking whumpy thoughts, but still time caretakers😌💗

i’m thinking about peter getting his nursing degree and getting a job at a cancer ward at a hospital. he’s always been interested in that field.

and the doctors and nurses there include all the «avengers» characters. tony, steve, bucky, thor, nat, bruce, sam etc. and they all like lowkey highkey adopt peter on the spot.

they are all so kind and supportive of peter. they share their food with him, ask if he is okay, give some of peter’s tasks to others when they see he is overwhelmed/uncertain etc.

- @professional-benaddict 💗💗

Yes! The others themselves don't know how it even started! Was it when Peter remembered their favorite treat and he surprised them with it randomly. How at the nurse station Peter put their birthday's down and always gets a card and cupcake for them on the day. How Peter cares for his patients. How he dishes out as much sass when someone acts like a jerk. Including everyone. Or it's maybe when Peter finds them having a bad day. He doesn't say anything, but offers a hug, holds a hand, pulls out a candy to offer. He has wormed his way into all their hearts.

And then of course they slowly all start to return the favor as much. Stephen willing to show Peter a better easier way to do something. Natasha moving the work schedule around. Bucky coming to assist when a patient is being difficult. Tony catering lunch a bit more when he noticed Peter losing weight cause he was budgeting. Steve taking Peter on his rounds. Bruce bringing Peter in to talk about research opportunities and fellowships. Sam making sure that Peter is getting any counciling he needs especially when he loses a patient. Thor asking Peter to help assist with the Make A Wish projects he does with the kids. Making sure they have the children's section full of the latest toys etc. Pepper making sure that when they have events that Peter always wins something. Spa voucher, gift card, free coffee for a month etc.

And we'll. When they find out that Peter has to find a new place to live cause the place he was renting , the building sold and he can't afford the new rent?

Now there is a big competition amongst the others on who gets to offer their place for him to stay.

It could go so many ways! Thank you!! @professional-benaddict

[alarrytale]

Hands down to the anon who hit the nail with H’s semi-manufactured success because I feel the same about it.

Look, I love him deeply, I find him one of the most attractive man on earth while I never had any need to project my sexual fantasies into him (and trust me, I have done it with literally every male crush while Harry/Louis are the only exceptions). I really really wish he can show us more from his personality, be more open to us and in what he is interested. I also think he’s a little weirdo sometimes and maybe a shy introvert when he’s not feeling 100% comfortable - as much as he can be arrogant with his confident, he’s awkward sometimes and I adore him for that.

But while as much as I love him I just don’t like those charts of his popularity and his achievements, awards or how much money he made with LOT etc etc etc. Because what does it actually mean? Does it make him a better person? Does it make him a God? Does it make him immortal? No, no, no, no. It’s unpopular opinion but icons/legends has been made in the past (80’s - 00’s) because those were the times when there were something to discover and something new to create but now everything is just recycling and update of something that has been already created.

To be honest, Harry is known for his “old soul” inspirations, he’s mix of Bowie//Mercury//Elton John and his image is the same as it was with Ricky Martin or George Michael. As much as I love him I doubt people will rememeber him as much as they remember those names I wrote above in like 10-20 years. And no numbers and how much money he made won’t be remembered in the future. Look, people barely remember Backstreet Boys and Nsync now - iconic boybands without who there won’t be any 1D - while first one is active simply because of nostalgia and second one just announced a reunion and I’m curious how it will go.

Also IMO one of the reasons why he is so extremely popular is that there basically isn’t any active singe who is making music without following any trends (read that his songs go against actual trends in music) and who is willing to tour the world while fitting the het fantasies. There was Justin Bieber but is he active? No. Shawn Mendes? He isn’t active as well and who knows if his career will be the same as it was pre-pandemic. Ed Sheeran never had an image of sex god for obvious reasons. Singers like Robbie Williams or Justin Timberlake are way too old for teens. So who else is there to compete with Harry? Rest of boys from 1D as media likes to make this artificial rivality between them claiming Harry is the best one? The most popular artists right now are all females starting with our popular TS or Beyonce, Doja Cat, Billie Eilish. And they won’t take away Harry’s popularity made by het harries.

And the last note - look how popular Harry was during Grammy’s. He won the most important award while people were yelling at him during his speech because they felt Beyone should win it. And then there was that hate after on every social media. And he clearly was very uncomfortable that night because he might thought he simply doesn’t really belong there but his management made him this popular and so he had to be there and face bigger singers and their fans.

Hi, anon!

Yes, kudos to that anon for hitting the nail on the head as you say!

I wish we got to see more of his personality as well. But he needs that blank canvas for everyone to project onto and get popular. At the same time, showing so little of yourself won't get you icon status. So it's tricky. He is doing exceptionally well because of lack of competition. There will be a day where competition will come, and that's why I think they are striking while the iron is hot. I'm still not sure if they are going for longevity here. Doesn’t seem like it right now.

And yeah, the grammy's. Not good. The grammy's are all politics and the azoffs are powerful people. Harry was awkward and unprepared for that speech. He put his foot in his mouth. I cringed. The heckling from the ones yelling for Beyoncé and the social media backlash was a bad combination. I think it put some people off him. I can see their point of view. Harry needs to wise up, and the azoffs needs to stop buying him his fame and start trusting his talent. Awards, achievements, numbers and records mean nothing in the grand scheme of things if it isn't well earned.

[zzencat]

Hiii, this is for the reading

My initials are : dtr, and my sun sign is sag (stellium), rising sign : Leo

- what is a piece of advice that I need as I’m heading towards a new path (going to college in a few days!!)

- how does my life look like when I become the best version of myself and how I become so

- a piece of advice about relationships and how to maintain and attract the right ones (I’ve always struggled with having and maintaining good and loyal friendships)

Thank you in advance for your time and energy!! ❤️

dtr!! this is for you:

ok dtr!!! my advice to you is to follow your passion! seriously, you are not meant to keep away from doing what you want to do. you need to be around people who share the same ideas as you, ones that can expand your thinking. there’s gonna be a lot of people that might make you feel inferior skill-wise but you can’t give up. you have to have strength or you’ll face a lot of stagnancy and lack of creativity. fear not cuz you’re not at rock bottom! sometimes it’ll feel like that tho, and maybe you’ll feel as if you’re not enough. take your inspirations as they come and don’t let them go. be spontaneous in your creative ambitions and endeavors. open your mind up to learning new things—i seriously am emphasizing this part!! your purpose in this world is to create and release those creations into the world. do not keep yourself and your talents under wraps!! also, if you don’t have a passion or struggle with keep one in particular, i recommend going with the flow and finding what you like. explore as much as possible. it’ll come to you fr.

also make sure you’re picky with receiving advice from others! find professionals or seek help from people who are clearly skilled or have years of expertise. beware of jealousy, even from yourself. be willing to learn as much as possible and keep in mind that not everything is a competition. just pour yourself and your soul into projects and you should be fine. keep your feelings neutral and open minded! this is a must. don’t be afraid to ask for help also! i think there’s a bit of a pride shield happening lowkey, but only bc you’re careful and cautious. which is fair! but too much of it will stunt your growth and ultimately your path to becoming the best version of yourself. make sure not to get involved with too much gossip or bad energy. YOU know what’s good for you. it’s time to seek out like minded people. im also pretty sure you can tell who has weird energy around you, like those you’re sus abt bc they gossip, “spill tea”, or get involved in drama. refrain from this behavior and avoid those prone to it. they’ll shit on the track to your personal growth. be authentic and rarely seek validation from bad energies. rmr, if they talk shit on others, they’ll shit on you too. it’s a common pattern that you can’t be gullible to at this point.

that’s pretty much all i have for you dtr! thanks for joining the game!! im feeling pretty good about this new start for you :)