#so much i missed the first time through
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please understand that while loïc was not strictly constructed in a lab for anyone but his creator, i sometimes reopen soulsov just to look at his sprites some more
#he has a specific eyes-averted one just for lying to a cop!#his full shock expression gets used for like two lines of dialogue!#a bunch of the sprites have microexpressions!!#so much i missed the first time through#i haven't thirstposted openly about any character in maybe eight years but the fact that this dilf opened the floodgates#/before/ much of the really heavily anticipated dungeon meshi adaptation moments#is nuts to me#he's a priest. he's a heretic. he's the end of the world. he gave himself over to someone who hurt him. he's a single father.#he's a naturalist. he's a former academic. he's painfully kind to everyone he meets. he bears tremendous guilt. he's... glasses.#<3333
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for context: I read the hobbit first over the course of two years when I was like 13, but I'm only now starting to read lotr. having a blast tho!
anyways, reblog if you feel like it 🙌🏻
#lord of the rings#the hobbit#lotr#hobbit#yeah guys idk i just feel like most people read it really young#but jolkein is really wordy and idk how y'all got through that at 8 yo#my attention span could neverrrrrr#obviously not as wordy as like. les mis. but you know what i mean.#lots and lots of context all the time. love that for his worldbuilding not so much for my hold on the plot#and yes i have watched the movies#i didn't completely miss the cultural zeitgeist#yay first time making a poll! if you vote or read my tags this far you are a gem 🫶🏻#edit: i realize i spelled tolkien wrong. i feel like this proves my point#but also i feel like thats something you spell with your heart and not your mind
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Holloweane… save me…
#holloweane#save me Holloweane#I’m actually going insane about them right now as we speak#so fuckin happy with how this turned out#going through Killer Track for references destroyed me#I forget how heartbreaking the end of it is#RAGHHAGGAH#sorry I just… I love them so much#also fuck yeah t4t Holloweane forever#massive shout out to my guy jetster for introducing me to that#huge#I would die for Duke btw#those heart eyes were made for looking up at his lover#this is true for all curt mega characters#plus also this was my first time drawing a Kim Whalen character#heheheheh#they’re so !!!!!#they’re so Kiki and bouba to me#duke keane#miss holloway#killer track#witch in the web#nightmare time#Curt mega#kim whalen#team starkid#starkid#hatchetfield#my art
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Someone get this man a younger sibling that ISNT like. Twice his height.
#one piece#op fanart#monkey d. luffy#shirahoshi#kozuki momonosuke#IVE FINISHED REREADING THROUGH WANO IM OBSESSED WITH MOMONOSUKE NOW#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH T - T!!!!#literally tears streaming down my face ‘But I think of you like a little brother!#You’ve heard of laser beam that make you read one piece#get ready for laser beam that makes you REREAD one piece#srsly. do it. I didn’t care about characters like bellamy or shirahoshi or even momonosuke all that much on my first read through#IM OBSESSED NOW. I LOVE HARUDJIN THE GIANT TOO AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE OF HIM T - T!!! I ALSO DIDNT CARE ABOUT KATAKURI LIKE AT ALL#NOW I CANT GET ENOUGH#also what the actual heck guys. I know its only been a couple of months since wano ended.#but why aren’t there any fics centred on luffy and momo being brothers… There’s like one on ao3 and it’s in italian…#PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SLEEPING SO HARD ON LUFFY BEING THE OLDER BROTHER/MENTOR TO BOTH MOMO AND SHIRAHOSHI#IM SO MAD#SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO ARE BOTH THE CHOSEN ONES ; - ;!!! AND LUFFY HAS BEEN PROHPESIZED TO HELP GUIDE THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS!!!#eg shirahoshi hearing the voices of the sea kings and momo hearing zunesha#both times luffy hasn’t been able to talk to them… but he’s been able to guide his younger siblings to use their powers properly#No im fr obsessed with luffy and shirahoshi and momo WHERE THE GOD DAMN FANFICTION AAAGFRGEHSHHSHSHS#LUFFY TREATING SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO THE SAME WAY ACE TREATED HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER T - T#KILL ME AAAAA1!!1!1!1!!1!1!1#99 percent of all tags on my posts are just me freaking out LMAOOOO
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then, we will be even
#knives#millions knives#trigun#trigun maximum#my art#sorry 4 posting the same pic 3 times in a row AHHAHA#man.. i was revisiting this chapter (ch46)#and i miss it so much#.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?like yeah its right there i can get back into it again#but ill never have that first read through kind of excitement#and seeing all the art for the first time
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he’s talking abt seeker constellation myths
#transformers#starscream#knock out#knockscream#koss#the truth comes out: i was a transformers kid#rlly my friend was the diehard fan and i absorbed Love of Starscream through her#i just think he and knock out are so sillyfunny. they’d murder someone and complain abt the mess#this is one of the only enemies to lovers ships i have and its bc theyre enemies AND lovers. they hate each other and theyre dating <333#when i saw ‘thirst’ for the first time. yall. heads were rolling that day#‘it’s been an honor serving alongside you’ ‘i always admired your lustrous finish’ shut UP#i havent been into transformers since like 2016 but i miss specifically prime starscream#he’s a bitch metal butterfly and he’s my favorite#originally i wrote here ‘i’m never drawing mechs again’ haha i lied. i drew mechs So Much
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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I think everything that could be said has already been said regarding Charles’s Monaco win. But I’m just… Wow. It’s so surreal.
Having followed him for several years now, witnessing the hope and subsequent disappointment as yet another chance to win his home race slips away… The heartbreak and helplessness of 2021 and the anger and frustration of 2022… It’s Charles’s dream fulfilled and Charles’s accomplishment but I feel like it’s personal for so many of us who’ve endured all of those emotional rollercoasters and setbacks along with him, invested in his quest to reach for something he yearned for so deeply. We’re all sharing in it now, Charles’s emotions a reflection of our own; disappointments into delights.
The funny thing is, I was completely calm once he secured pole on Saturday, in a way I rarely am, especially when it comes to racing. It’s hard to describe but it was just this serenity, this gut feeling that today is the day, and that there won’t be any more upsetting surprises. That this is the weekend where that chapter of the “curse” ends, where history is made, that this is where the path was leading all along.
It wasn’t really until Charles crossed the finish line, until that team radio, that inflection in his voice, the way he evidently teared up, the way he ran into his team’s waiting embrace and the way he spoke about his father that it hit me, the emotions, the sheer magnitude of the feat – so straightforward at first glance but heavy with the weight of expectation, longing, past disappointment. The palpable relief on the podium, the way he could finally close his eyes and just drink it all in. Maybe it played out exactly the way he had imagined all that time, maybe it was different, maybe it was better. But it was, in some way, fated.
#charles leclerc#all of that to say. I CRIED#i have so many emotions and not enough words to describe them it feels like#it’s admittedly been a pretty difficult year for me in terms of mental health and emotions and negative headspaces#and my own disappointments and disillusionment#but this was…. i can’t even describe it. just knowing how far he’s come - and us with him#the past disappointment of 2019…2021….even 2022… it feels so fresh but at the same time so distant now?#and it’s like ok. maybe it *had* to happen like this maybe this is how it was written y’know#even the way he narrowly missed out on that win in vegas last year#the fact that his first win in almost two years is monaco… monaco of all places. damn#he’s really collected the crown jewels now huh (monza and monaco wins)#my biggest regret (besides y’know not actually being there in person because oh GOD that must be something else)#is that xavi didn’t get to be a part of this along w charles#they’ve been through so so so much together… it#for all the disappointments they shared to finally share this joy#ohhhhh it would’ve been so perfect. it would’ve been everything#but yeah i’m just. wow.
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doodles
edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#doodles#YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME . . . . !!!!#well HELLO !!!! I'M BACK !!!!!!!!#got a new brush . what do you think of it do you like it#okay i want to ramble about these wait a second#the first one looks a bit different to the rest because i was just trying new stuff .#if i spend a long time without drawing i'll forget how to draw and well it happened#i've changed my art style like 3 times now but i still draw side profiles the same . looks weird ugh#the mug says “ JESUS loves me BECAUSE no one else will ” btw . meta gave me the idea actually . thanks meta .#about the second one . finished that one like ten minutes ago . missed drawing todd aw#i just find their whole relationship so amusing .#like yes i went crazy for like a month and now i have a brother-husband and a kid ?!#they complement each other so well though . i love them#THE UNO ONE omg i've had that idea for like A YEAR NOW and i just drew it lol#i wonder how long it would take scriabin to notice though .#when i showed this to meta she said : “ oh wow !! edgar's finally winning at something !! ” and it's SO TRUE#wonder how he does it !#and the last one . i got the idea when i was looking through zarla's account searching for fan art .#love it so much though they look like their lives aren't a living hell#anyways i'll probably make more of these . who knows#going back to school on monday . and of course i had to get inspiration four days before going back .#please PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL . PL#okay byeee enjoy these . eat my starved followers . EAT !!!!!
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DBD x Met Gala (1/4): Edwin Payne and Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination (2018)
#oh met gala boards how I've missed you ;_;#ok so Edwin. our wonderful smart kind Edwin.#obvi I went the Catholic route OF COURSE I DID#if it ain't broke don't fix it etc etc#but so ok my own personal theme for this was playing off of Edwin's time in hell PLUS the sin of lust#because I just think it's very interesting that lust almost tore him away from Charles I'm just saying IM JUST SAYING!!!!!#I chose some fun Alexander McQueen collections to go through for this one too#the first being the Dante collection obvi inspired by the inferno and it's a really fun collection so I'd definitely recommend looking it up#the second collection was one called Voss which was inspired by madness and the natural world#the last two pieces are both from 2024 one is a SS and the other is a FW look#the one with the body popping out of the back is a look by Robert Wun for his SS24 collection#and the body piece is from Thom Browne's FW24 collection#both of these pieces and collections are super interesting as well so I'd def recommend taking a look at those as well!#but yeah! I loooove this series so much and it's really fun to dive into it again!#if you're interested I did met gala boards for Merlin and for the old guard!#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbd#dbda#edwin payne#dbd netflix#mine#dbd met gala
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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this fucking dude.
#infuriating!!! tbh!!!#after how much he was talked up all week#joe ja'marr the coaches going out on the line for him#only for him to (allegedly) miss the walkthrough (and not for the first time!!!!!!!)#'getting out of bed is the first step' well first step failed i guess!!!!#i'm so over it#showing up late for meeting missing practices and walkthroughs not knowing the playbook halfway through the fucking season!!!!!!!!#we needed him this game!!!#the team needs him!!!#think of how he could have already been contributing#the plays he could have made that could have been the difference#in all those close losses#not to mention HIS CAREER HIS FUTURE#this was when he was supposed to step up#to prove himself#absolutely ridiculous#and people blaming zac saying that he's like...maliciously holding him out??#are you kidding#zac is a lot of things. he fucks plays up sometimes. i get it.#but he's a players' coach#he is remarkably patient with these guys#but if you aren't doing your part then why should he trust you enough to put you in an actual game situation#when you can't even run a route correctly#zac plays rookies. tee and ja'marr their first years. look at erick all this year (and erick missed half of training camp!!!)#wild. absolutely wild. i'm so pissed off i'm sick tbh!!!#jermaine burton#yeah i'm tagging him
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i’ll never forget that the first time i watched julie and the phantoms, during the last episode after they became corporeal and hugged i just shouted “THEY CAME BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE OF THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP” and immediately burst into tears
#and i was real for that#i cry every time i watch that scene#and every scene in that episode#and in the episode before#and the first episode#and every time julie or someone else mentions her mom#and during bright and finally free and edge of great bc those songs have helped me through so much#and every time friendship#like flynn and julie being cute#and every interaction between julie and her dad bc my dad died and i miss him#and luke birthday parent scene#i also laugh at everything anyone says or does especially luke#he’s so fucking ridiculous#laughing and crying my way through the show#there can be two#jatp#julie and the himbos#julie and the phantoms#jatp spoilers i guess#will forever be sad about no season 2 we could’ve had it all#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters#sunset curve#yeet my deet#julie and the fat ones#stand tall
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Today, on 21th of September, Verti left this Earth. Despite the medicines he was given, they didn't work as they should had. Surely Verti became more "observing" but he refused to move, refused to eat or drink. He couldn't breath well anymore. He was panting like a dog with an open mouth. He also lost more weight which was concerning.
I stood by his side all the way to an end at the vet, crying my eyes out (I will cry more later for sure). I will get his ashes after 2-4 weeks so I warmly welcome him back home. I told him that he can reincarnate into my life if he so wants to in the future but I doubt that. We had fun, lovely 16-17 years and I think he is very happy and satisfied about it - as am I <3
So, my beloved Verti, thank you SO much for all these years. You were my best cat / pet ever! <3 I have never met any cat like you. I will miss you but I also know you are now heck happy and free.
I love you <3
#text#Verti#cat#cats are the best#neis photo#He was seriously something so amazing and beyond this world#I never haven't had that kind of bond with anyone else what I had with Verti#I miss him and that bond#I wish I could experience it again at some point in my life#but for now I grief him#I feel sad yes but I also feel so light and free#For the first time in my life I'm without a pet#I love animals but they take so much time and money#chaining you too#No longer is that cute round face looking at me through the window when I'm coming home#21.9.2023
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whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend
#i'm personally about to start sobbing#how many letters do they try sending#how long does that sweet gentle soul wait - I actually don't want to know#little too close to home frankly lmao#grandpa i don't CARE that something evil lives in fernweh and wants to eat me or control me or whatever - that's my bestie!!#I just did James's route and this part hurt so much worse#fernweh saga#like J is SO scared to ask MC if they can write this time & they're trying to be SO supportive--#--of the fact that the last time they tried MC was going through an incredibly difficult time in their life#but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt so badly#and like it's obviously not MC's fault bc they never even got the letters in the first place#but now I want to cry thinking about how my MC hugs James at the police station when they meet again and how he's probably like ???#my MC missed him and James is like 'weird reaction for someone who couldn't be bothered to write back'#'and shattered my little fifteen year old heart into pieces'#i'm making wild assumptions about the inner workings of J's mind here but anyway#j corvin#all i'm saying is if my best friend was ripped out of my life and I tried writing them I would be religiously checking the mailbox#probably far longer than I should but still trying to hold out hope
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