#so much analysis

[heretherebedork]

Khatha thought he'd found someone in his lonely life when he met Chan, someone special, someone who could be at his side no matter how alone he was because he was alone, a crippled orphan in a time where that set him apart, set him below everyone else he encountered, led him to view himself as a freak.

Chan healed his limp and stayed with him and Chan offered companionship and a way out of loneliness, a way to love and care and something bigger.

And then Chan went with Boon.

Chan went with Boon away from Khatha and he didn't try to bring Khatha with him, didn't try to keep Khatha at his side, didn't step in when Boon stopped Khatha from seeing him. Chan stayed apart and let Khatha be parted and suddenly all the love and that companionship and that way out of loneliness turned into... nothing.

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference and that is what Khatha saw in the way Chan treated him and that is why he was so upset, why he lashed out. Because Khatha loved Chan and Chan told him, in actions and words, that he did not matter as much as the other people that Chan had found.

Khatha went from finding the one person that truly mattered to watching him through a doorway as he was kept on the outside again, kept away again.

He would do anything to find a way back to that love, to that way out of loneliness, and yes that included bringing them to Chan when they promised he would be safe because if Chan was safe and Chan was alone, if Chan was alone like Khatha was alone, than they could find each other again.

They could stand against the lonely world again, together.

But instead Khatha discovered that Chan did still care and that love had not turned to indifference but now turned to hate, all of that care turned to hate becausae Khatha had left and now Khatha had lead the soldiers to his death, had betrayed Chan out of a fear of losing him only to lose him forever.

Neither side in this story made the right choices but it is Khatha has been carrying this weight for so long and only now do new people know the full truth and what will he do now?

If the blackened corpse is Chan, then will the end of Khatha's arc be about choosing between that was but was betrayed and the love that is but is yet unrealized, will it be about choosing to protect or to support and about the past versus the future?

[sunny-boooo]

I'm jumping off a bridge. Their backstory is so tragic, I can't.

The fact that even Queenie being in the state she was, Kinger still found humanity in her, the fact that he risked his life knowing she could go crazy and attack him just so he could touch her one last time.

And the fact that Queenie allowed him to do it, the fact that she was able to keep control as a abstracted just so she could feel him. Because she loved him and he loved her back and both of them knew her fate, but in that moment, it was just them, their last moment together so both made it work.

This is such a powerful image I want to hug both of them.

[aerequets]

this post was the catalyst for this comic, and i was also thinking of a desi song lyric (tere dil ke sheher mein ghar mera ho gaya / in the city of your heart, my home is made) and just... hmmm.... leaving your mark.... making a house into a home..... when the marks a child inevitably leaves behind (messes, scribbles, and in this case stickers) eventually fade away as they grow older and you're left with the memories stored in what hasn't been erased....

im not verbalizing it very well but catch my drift?

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[improvapocalyps]

You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)

In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!

Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)

[text under cut]

1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined

2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both

3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer：I just wanted to see him one more time).

4. Define two (2)： Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore

5. True or False： i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.

thumbnails:

sketch cover thing for imgur link:

[kandelia-mangrove]

Can we talk about how in the show Lestat and Armand are framed as narrative foils. Armand and Lestat who are both so aggressively theater kids, but Lestat who acts, who draws in the attention and holds it, and Armand who directs, who shapes and manipulates the narrative. Armand and Lestat's obsession with Louis and his love and frustration with his melancholy over Lestat and Claudia respectively. Who both felt second in his heart. Who fear loneliness above all else. Lestat taking what he wants to excess - no impulse control, and Armand letting things happen to him and trying to manipulate situations to get what he wants but never taking it. Armand, who even in the end, so much more powerful, never physically imposes himself on Louis. Armand who seeks complete control in subtle insidious ways. Lestat who seeks control in the physical. Armand and Lestat brought into vampire life in horrifying ways tangled up with SA. Armand who still talks about his maker with reverence, Lestat who hates his maker. Armand who pours all of himself into his partner, willing to shape himself into what they desire but ultimately needing control to feel safe. Lestat who pours all of his love into his partner but unwilling to change himself and ultimately cedes control in moments to maintain the relationship. Armand who clings to his breaking apart relationship for 77 YEARs, Lestat who let Louis go. Lestat and Armand who watch Claudia die, but one as a father and one as a murderer. Lestat and Armand so intense in their love but Lestat so painfully external and Armand so painfully internal as characters. Both constantly acting and putting on a face. Lestat as Mozart and Armand as Salieri (in the flashback scene!). Armand who loves routine and structure and repetion, Lestat who craves change and excitement. The calling cards are echos, who learned from who. Armand teaching Lestat the vampire gifts, Lestat teaching Armand a new way to live. on and on....

[ambrosiagourmet]

Not sure how widely recognized this is but it’s fucking wild to me that miss kui just quietly snuck in the fact that most (if not all) of the differences between races only exist because of wishes they made to the Winged Lion.

Dwarves being strong? Lion wish. Elves being good at magic? Lion wish. All lifespan differences???? Lion wish, babey!

Not that the elves superiority shtick isn’t already BS, but it’s even funnier with the context that the only difference between them and humans is that, thousands of years ago, their leaders made a greedier wish to the demon that wanted to eat them.

[abessive-art]

*Archives your Magnus*

[ohtori-dropout]

Y’know, it’s kind of funny how much death isn’t talked about as a theme in Utena outside of analysis circles considering that the very first thing you learn about Utena Tenjou is that her parents are dead. I could go on about the use of parental death as a background trait in fictional characters, often to add a sense of tragedy and complexity with little effort put in, but Utena in particular plays off of these expectations to lull you into a false sense of security. You begin the show learning that the main protagonist has gone through a traumatic, life-changing event but that’s business as usual for protagonists, right? The fairytale setting adds even more to these assumptions, given how often parental figures die in folktales.

This all culminates in Utena being a typical plucky protagonist, until she isn’t. Until you realize that her parents being dead marks Utena as different from her peers, as uniquely vulnerable to the abuse she suffers through the series, and as someone whose life is permeated with themes of death. Her parents are dead, her prince is dead, 100 boys were killed on this very campus by her own foil, she is trapped within her coffin in the same way everyone else is but she has also literally laid in a coffin to die before. It’s not as overt as other themes, but it’s everpresent as a spectre haunting Utena’s narrative. It’s her life’s background radiation.

[girllookingoutwindow]

Penelope and Colin: this is the moment he knows he's going to lose her, really lose her this time, if he doesn't let go the resentment.

[just-bee-lieve]

the funeral

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

“Please do not make me love you more, I do not think I could bear it”

I talk a lot about Anthony being smitten (because he absolutely very much is) but I don’t think I’ve mentioned enough about how much I love the pure adoration in Kate’s eyes every time she looks at Anthony. Her entire face lights up every single time she’s looking at him, with her eyes sparkling, and a smile wide enough to make your cheeks hurt just from looking at her

THAT IS A WOMAN UTTERLY IN LOVE, YOUR HONOUR

She really said, “There will not be a day where you do not vex me” when Anthony asked her to marry him, and it turns out all she’s truly vexed by is how much she loves him

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

[love-byers]

mike lying vs mike telling the truth

"You think I'm a monster too."

*high pitched, animated facial expression* "What?!"

vs

"What about us?"

*firm, but quiet. solid eye contact* "What?"

"Yesterday. The way you looked at me. . .you were scared of me."

*head shaking, rapid blinking* "No, no- *scoffs* that's not- that's- that's not true."

vs

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

*firm, solid eye contact, no stuttering* "That's just not true."

i still can't believe people called finn a bad actor because of this

FINN WOLFHARD??? BAD ACTOR???? PUH LEEZ

MIKE is a bad actor, not finn

[calmlb]

It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning

here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…

everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want

the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)

there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:

1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike

their eye shapes are purposely different

their color palettes are contrasting

even their differing styles of clothing have meaning

this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related

2. how the people around them respond to their act.

the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)

3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)

however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies

4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.

over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”

like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)

here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…

again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile

just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)

anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!

also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹

reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:

also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)