#so maybe hes not totally lying because there is truth to some of the shit hes said but i dont think its ALL true y'know

[onthevirgooftears]

this may be the biggest cope of all time and i am in no way citing this as anything beyond that but like, hear me out.

drdt is very well written in general and one of my favourite things about it is how irrational the cast is and how that plays into the way that the trials operate. we see this time and time again, first with teruko and everyone immediately, without any real evidence or proof believing that she killed xander and then again with david and everyone believing he killed arei.

we also see the different kinds of reactions to this like how teruko fought for her innocence whilst david commits to playing the part.

here's where the coping part comes in because i am slightly, possibly convinced that a similar thing has happened with ace. i think that the way the trial was conducted showcases the irrational and fixed mindset most of the cast has (with teruko leading the charge surprisingly)

and i think the fact that for 40 minutes ace was for lack of better terms dogpiled on and TOLD he killed arei (like, multiple people said this without any reservations BEFORE the slingshot thing which is literally the only thing tying him and him only to areis murder and even that is kind of flimsy) and i think that the way he's been treated in general has been really shitty.

taking out this post as a whole and assuming he IS the killer he still made a really good point about how teruko is only siding with eden because she likes her more. which is like, obviously a very uncomplicated way to put it but it's also completely the truth. ace gets the short end of the stick because eden cries and teruko feels bad and she tries to prove it's ace BECAUSE of her confirmation bias and her reservations around his personality in comparison to edens. i don't think she's doing it on purpose but i think she's not as removed from making broad assumptions based on her emotions as she thinks.

anyways the idea of ace basically doing what david tried to do originally (commit to the bit) but successfully is almost laughable but so is all the evidence that he DID kill arei. teruko trying to get him to fight for his innocence proves to me that thinks (hopes? believes?) that there is something beyond what she's seeing (all that glitters is not gold or something like that) and him going silent, accepting his fate, not refuting any of the genuinely wild claims against him (eden just flat out saying he was the one stalking her when there's zero proof that it was him and everyone just believing her) and committing to the idea that he's never making it out alive so he might as well go down now rather than later is actually really compelling.

[book--wyrm]

I do love that Eve is like. The ultimate refutation of the way Oz chases his Rex Calabrese fantasy.

Because in a way, Eve really is the perfect recipient of this dynamic. She knows Oz and all his flaws so well—she knows he's a selfish, lying, backstabbing killer, she knows that he's fundamentally kind of an asshole, she knows that he is at minimum about 60% bullshit by volume at any given moment.

But she accepts him and his help, and offers her aid and advice in return, as little as he listens to it. She doesn't judge him, even defending him to Sofia after their breakup (we all got our shit, don't we?). She loves him, in her own way, enough to push back when Sofia derides the idea. She is loyal to him.

I cannot emphasize that last part enough. She is loyal to him. During her meeting with Sofia, Eve was fully, totally, a hundred percent prepared to take his location to her grave. She didn't choose not to go with him to save her own life, she chose not to go because she needed to stay to protect her girls.

And realistically that's really the best case scenario for the Rex fantasy, right? To be seen and known for all your scummy deeds and dark, vicious nature, and yet be loved and respected as a protector all the same? Maybe Eve wouldn't throw a parade for him if he died, but she'd pour one out for him with the girls and remember him fondly. We ate when he ate. He was a nasty sonuvabitch but he was ours.

And then.

Sofia comes. And all she has to do is tell the truth.

And the whole thing comes crumbling down.

Because Oz was never, and could never be the kind of man who deserves that respect and loyalty. Because it's only "we got each other's backs and don't screw each other over" as long as its convenient for him. Because Oz will do anything to have that Rex reputation, including undermining its very foundations.

Oz loved Eve, in his own way. Besides his mom and vic, Eve is the person he cares about the most. But he doesn't respect her. He doesn't value her priorities, only the affection she gives to him. So he screws over her girls, and hides it for a decade, and doesn't think a second about it because ultimately, he doesn't want to protect the people, he wants to be loved as a protector.

And once Eve, the person he has been the most Rex-like with for god knows how long, learns how deep the rot runs? She turns her back on him. Because as much as Oz wants to be loved like Rex, he can't help being anyone but The Penguin.

I also have to say, I absolutely adore that the person who does genuinely come closest to the fantasy Rex that realistically could never exist isn't Sofia—it's Eve herself.

For Oz, I eat you eat means sharing scraps off his plate with the people who fill it. For Eve, it means sharing in their meals. And when needed, sharing in the danger.

I think a worse, less thoughtful show would only really contrast Oz with his major rival, giving her the virtues he lacks and vice versa. And I have seen some reviewers and reactors talk as if like, Sofia sparing Eve earned her Eve's loyalty or something. Like Eve is switching from one mafia boss to another.

Nothing about that scene reads that way to me. Eve doesn't share Oz's location out of loyalty, or gratefulness. She doesn't owe anything to Sofia for not shooting her.

She tells Sofia because she gets it, gets how deeply Oz has fucked Sofia over. She tells her out of kindness, out of empathy, out of understanding.

And that is why she earns the Rex reputation, and Oz only borrows it.

[mandy-asimp]

Late night dancing

Agatha Harkness x fem! Reader (she/her)

Warnings: swearing, touchiness, kissing, the media being shit, reassurance, fluff, angst, it's a happy ending

Summary: reader is a gamer and plays among us because that's what I was feeling and is dating Agatha who is a big CEO but their relationship is exposed one night.

"Ok an Y/n? What did you see?" Rea's voice chimed over everyone.

It was a classic Friday night stream. A group of friends playing round after round of games while drinking. Something Y/n had found herself doing a lot more ever since her streaming account picked up.

She sat up in her chair, "ok I was in electrical doing wires, and I left Jack in there. I run out and run past Leslie as she goes into electrical. I was like 'maybe she'll kill' so I waited for a few seconds before running back up. And not only did the vent close, Jack's body was right there!" She explained what happened in the few minutes. "Now, I'm not saying I saw her...but it's very obvious."

The group lightly laughed, "so Leslie? If not we come back for Y/n?" Felix had a smile in his words.

"Uh, it is not me. So you don't have to come back for me, thank you very much!" She put in her vote happily.

The night continued on and it was full of laughter. With headphones on she didn't hear the door open. "No! No! I don't wanna die!" She shouted while running to the button, Toast on her tail. She clicked the button before he could catch her. "It's Toast! He's been chasing me after double backing!" She cried out. Screaming when a hand placed on her shoulder.

The group laughed and tried to talk to her but her mic seemed to have been muted. All her stream saw was the body of someone and her talking to them. She smiled warmly before agreeing to something and unmuting.

"Sorry! But yeah it's totally Toast. If not you can come back for me." She locked in her vote once again.

"Are you ok over there?" Lily laughed, referring to the ear piercing scream.

She let out her own chuckle, " yeah just got scared was all. Also this is my last round. So trust me cause I'm right and it would be a good way to end my stream."

Everyone agreed it was valid and voted him off. Winning the game once more before she signed off. There was some protest, even with her live chat, but she did have to go. A wide smile on her face as she ran into the living room. Hoping the couch and right into her girlfriend's lap.

"Hello honey!" She beamed from ear to ear. "How was your day today?" She was quick to grow eager to hear all about what the other was up to.

Agatha groaned, "people are so dumb sometimes. Honestly, all they're doing is sorting files and working in an office. It's not that hard." She rubbed her temples.

Agatha was the CEO of some big tech company. She always had to deal with the other men in the industry who didn't take her serious. Yet, her company was the leading one and thriving.

"It's actually just infuriating to think, that just because I have a pair of boobs and a vagina, they don't take me half as serious. I'm mean, I figured we'd be past all this by now." She complained, each word making her headache even more heavy.

Y/n hummed in thought, "what if I taught you a game? One where your amazing boobs and vagina have nothing to do with it?" She offered, getting a look of confusion in return. "Come, we game!"

That night, Agatha was taught how to play among us and was surprisingly good at it. Her lying skills being a bit concerning to the younger but she knew it was all fun in games. Literally. Along with, Agatha struggled to lie to her, the ravenette didn't know why but one look and she was spilling the truth.

A few months had passed and it was a Christmas special. Everyone was on and ready to play. "Welcome stream! Welcome everybody! Happy holidays to those who celebrate, happy Friday to those who don't. Today we're back with another among us!" She greeted. Taking a few minutes to greet everyone and talk a little bit. Smiling at the questions about the mystery person.

She joined the group of other players and the conversations just flowed.

"So before we start, Y/n?" Leslie pulled the attention to the friend. A hum being her acknowledgment. "Got a secret lover you're hiding?"

The blush the chat pointed out was undeniable. She leaned closer to her mic with a wide smile, "maybe." Was all she said before the round started.

While she was running around talking to herself, the door opened once again. Her head snapped back and she grew excited at the sight of her girlfriend. Quickly, she placed her character by the emergency button and jumped from her seat. Going as far as turning off her camera to smother Agatha with kisses.

"Well someone missed me?" She teased, hands holding her waist as she enjoyed the feeling of love. "I was only gone for a few weeks?"

"Oh a few weeks too long!" She spoke through kisses. Not aware her mic was still on. "How was your trip, babes?"

Agatha grimaced at the nickname, "you know I hate when you use babes. You use that term so freely with friends. But it was good I guess. The hotel room was lavish. Work is boring to talk about? What about you?"

"Y/n!" Leslie's voice was heard through the headphones. "Is that your maybe?!"

Her eyes grew big as she slowly touched the mic. "Ummm....maybe." She spun from the hold and ran back towards the gaming display.

Agatha noted how it was purple all the time. She knew it wasn't the girls favorite color, but hers instead. She always wanted to ask about it but chose not to. Instead she followed over and stood behind the chair.

Y/n turned the camera back on and the chat went wild at the body in the background. Begging for a face reveal. "I missed the conversation, so I'm going to skip this round." And the votes skipped and the game went on.

"Y/n! What's her name? We all heard her." Leslie followed her around, the proximity chat giving them the chance to still talk. "I'm also going to be honest, my chat is saying she's in the room with you! And they saw her standing behind you?"

She laughed at the absurdity. "Yes she's behind me. I'm training her to play games so she can play with me. Especially since I got her to take a week break for the holidays. Busy woman."

Leslie squealed with excitement, "you should let her finish this round with us and you do all the voicing." She proposed knowing the others would notice the sudden behavior change.

Y/n turned to look at Agatha, an innocent smile spread from ear to ear. "I'll turn off the camera and you'll play?" Was all she had to say before Agatha was situating in the chair.

That's when she realized how comfortable it really was. What she didn't expect was her girlfriend to get handsy while she played. The way she kept talking as if she was the one playing.

She had gone a little quiet as her lips slowly moved against the skin of her neck. The emergency meeting interrupting them. A body had been found.

"So I found this body in electrical, and the lights were out but I can for sure clear Jack and Abe," Rea had began the discussion. "We were all moving as one so it was very unlikely they did it."

There was a silence before Toast spoke up. "Y/n where are you?" He began his interrogation.

"I was on the right side near shields. I had come down from Nav." The lie flowed easily as her hands kept roaming over Agatha's collarbones. Her nail scratching just lightly. "The last person I had seen was Leslie near the trash."

"That was a while ago though like the start of the round. I say we just skip this one we still have enough people." She had concluded. The group agreeing with her.

And as more rounds went on, Y/n got more lost in touching Agatha. Leaving hickies on her neck as she tried to keep her focus. Her blue eyes search for the mute button, eager to let a moan out but not wanting the world to hear. Even if the idea of it turned her on a bit. To fuck her girlfriend hard as the stream listened to her moan and pant out her name. She found the mute button finally.

"You're making this harder than it needs to be..." she hummed out. Eyes still trained to the screen as the character ran around. Just then, Jacks character ran by and she had hit the kill button. Winning the game without realizing.

Y/n unmuted quickly, "a killer in the night!" She cheered. She made herself comfortable in Agatha lap as she so easily switched back to the innocent gamer. "Another win for the compilation. One more round?"

A collections of agreements were thrown before the game started once again. It was a silent round this time. It was a mode that Y/n had brought up that was nearly impossible to win for anyone. Everyone was on mute and could only type one thing and had to hope everyone understood.

What she hadn't planned, was Agatha getting her revenge. Her wised hands moved better than hers did. They knew how to touch her and how to work her up without doing much. She sighed at the pressure applied to her chest, desperate suddenly for the round to end.

Blessed when she ran into the imposter and met her fate. She typed a quick goodbye in chat and her stream abruptly ended. Her headset flew from her head and she turned in Agatha's lap. Hands holding her cheeks as the kiss was full of passion. How she missed her girlfriend!

"I've missed you Aggie..." she sounded more sad than relieved however. It caught Agatha's attention instantly. And they both pulled back and stared at each other. "You missed our six years." Was all she managed before getting up.

She was right. Agatha was so busy with work conferences she had missed it and hardly even sent a text. "Oh angel....I'm so sorry. The meetings just, they distracted me from what's important. You know I never would...let me make it up to you."

"How about a late night? Like we used to? Where we'd just be bundled up and roam the city at night?" There was this big glimmer in her eyes. Begging to go out and relive a night of pure carelessness.

Ever since Agatha had become the CEO, she's had to been a lot more discrete about her public appearances. The cameras waited for her scandal so she would finally fall. The industry was out for her all because of how powerful she was. How powerful her company was. So when she lost the fight in her head, she agreed and began to change into something more comfortable.

Y/n was close behind her the entire time. Her arms wrapped around her waist as she picked out her clothes, head resting against her shoulder. Watching her hands grab the jeans that hugged her so nicely and her old college sweatshirt. But the younger moved quick, grabbing jeans of her own and the sweatshirt before running to the room to begin changing. She loved being in the others clothes, it made her feel more at ease.

"You know if someone saw you in that they'd think you're smart." Agatha had teased coming out the closet. She had already changed and was in just a simple purple hoodie. "Think you're a prodigy."

"I am?" Y/n spun around, finishing up applying lip gloss. Her smile being all the confidence she needed. "I may not be as smart as you are Ms. CEO but I thrive in other categories."

The woman hummed as she came closer, hands slipping under the fabric to hold her bare waist. Feeling the new set of beads that adored her. Curiously, she lifted to look at them. Her brows furrowed as she couldn't read out the letters. She crouched, holding her hips to stable her as she squinted. The purple beads went around and in the middle were her initials. It shocked her as she looked for the clasp to take them off, failing to find it.

"Aren't they beautiful? I had it custom made and permanently attached." She explained quietly, a finger slipping under Agatha chin and forcing her to look up. "Do you like them?"

There wasn't a verbal response as the brunette placed a kiss to the letters and came back up. Kissing her like the night depended on it. "Absolutely adorable. It suits you well. But those aren't your initials?"

"No they are not. But one day, it'll be close enough. Now I was told there was a night out? It's not going to happen in this apartment." She folded her arms over her chest. It earned her a chuckle before she was being pushed towards the door.

That night was perfect. The two walked down streets and took everything in while laughing. Being caught in the snow made it all the better as they would dance down the emptier streets, humming tunes of their own. They had found a hot chocolate stand and could resist as they kept walking around. Their night lasted till the sun began to peak back up. Both absolutely exhausted but it was well worth it.

Yet, by the eight o'clock news, Agatha Harkness was all over. Her lover and her dancing down the road as the so easily figured out who Y/n was. A big CEO and a streamer spotted through the downtown area.

"I just think it's a little absurd, is this a grown woman having a mid-life crisis? Trying to find some joy in the youth of today?" The voice of the news man woke Agatha up.

Her eyes took a moment to register what was on the tv, and once she did her heart felt stuck. The world was ready to take her down for this so easily. Her phone had been blowing up. That's when she realized Y/n sitting at the end of the bed, eyes trained to the screen.

"God...they're assholes. How could they be so quick to assume such bullshit." Her voice was weak and Agatha knew there were tears on her cheeks without even seeing.

"Hun..." she sat up herself now. A hand reaching out to reassure her.

"I mean is she taking advantage of this young lady? She's hardly through life and this woman has trapped her." He kept going and Agatha's hand flew back to her.

Those words did it. They stabbed at both their hearts and Y/n had to look back to Agatha. Her jaw was clenched as she tried to fight the sob in her throat.

It wasn't even a second thought before the streamer was rushing out the room to her computer. Starting a stream as she paced back and forth in the room. Hands running through her bed head and trying to make it less messy.

Within seconds over ten thousand people were logged on to watch. The comments being a mix of insults and majority defending her. She sat at the desk as the tears still fell from her eyes.

The word gold digger repeated in the chat. "That's sick. Actually sick and twisted. You all don't even know half of the story. You saw a few pictures of me and her dancing and so suddenly I'm the gold digger? Did you know I've known her before she had everything? Did you know at a time we both were living paycheck to paycheck together?" The comments had gone still almost.

"You so quickly took and painted her as a woman going through a mid-life crisis, and is taking advantage, ruining my future, when in reality she has been nothing but the sweetest, most caring woman I've ever met. She has done nothing but worked her ass off for everything she owns. I have worked my ass off for everything I own. So do not think for a second I am with her for her money because in the end I don't need it to survive." She couldn't help how easily she spoke. Not stuttering through the tears, but firmly addressing the now millions of viewers.

"So maybe before you jump to every wrong accusation you can possibly think of, you should really just consider the fact love comes in all forms. And that woman who you all bashed for no reason, is the love of my life and always will be. I will love her until I quite literally die. And it is all by my own choice it always has been. Because I'd be a fool to let that woman go. I support her everyday, I have always been her biggest supporter, and I will always be her biggest supporter." She concluded, giving it one moment to see if anyone in the chat would say anything. But it was nothing but support now.

She wiped her tears with shaky hands before ending the stream. It was just her at the computer now. Along with the flooding of tears.

Agatha heard the cries and came around, immediately pulling her from the chair and into the hold. Burying her head into her chest as they swayed slightly. "It's ok angel.....we're gonna be ok."

"They're wrong," she managed to get out. "They're so so wrong!" She pulled back to stare up at her girlfriend. "You know they're wrong right? I don't care about..about any money. I never have I love you because you're you!" She was sobbing uncontrollably, she felt like she was spiraling.

Agatha cooed her back against her chest. "I know. I would never think that of you ever, and you know that." She was going to find whoever got the pictures and make sure they never hold a camera again. How could a world say such cruel things about someone like Y/n? She hugged her tighter.

"How are you able to just accept what they say?" Y/n mumbled into the chest.

"The world has been looking for something to rag on me for years. It just wasn't right that they were going to use you. Your love is not a weapon. Neither is mine." Agatha brushed throwing her hair soothingly. "Why don't we have a lazy day hmm? We'll start with a bath, then we'll have brunch and go from there?"

A small ok was sounded out. And that's exactly what they did. They spent the day in only each other's presence and away from the media. It was them and only them.

Just how it's always been.

[its-time-to-write]

chapter 4

table of contents

we know the steps anyway

Jamie might have stretched the truth. He has an appointment, yes, but not a medical one, like. There’s enough doctors and shit on staff at Richmond. But no one there has fucking critical thinking or whatever, so he’s able to go early. He goes to the shops and doesn’t pray he remembers what you like, instead he prays that it hasn’t changed.

He gets recognized but he hopes the flowers in his hand don’t signal anything to the fans. If anyone asks he can just say they’re for his mum or something, it’s not totally fucking unrealistic, but his lying’s gotten progressively worse recently. Probably because he’s out of practice, but he doesn’t actually want to get back in practice, if you know what he means.

He also prays that your address is the same. You loved that house and he’d be surprised if you moved but it’s almost a year since he last saw you and much longer than that since you were actually together.

Maybe he should have become Catholic so he could say a proper Hail Mary. But he isn’t one, so instead he just hopes harder than he has in a while and knocks on the door. The doorbell’s taped off with a note that says, baby sleeping so he thinks he probably has the right house after all 

He hears footsteps, has the quickest panic attack known to man, then the door opens to reveal you.

Jamie has never wanted to make a baby more than this moment, if he’s being honest. He can tell you’re in the middle of work but the way it takes a split second too long to figure out what’s happening and the pen behind your ear. You look the same, but assured and he knows it’s because you don’t need him. He wants to unbutton your shirt and also tell you that he loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone in his whole entire life and he knows he’s a fucking idiot but his thoughts have never been good at finding their way to his mouth so instead he just says, “Hey,” and pulls the flowers from behind his back.

Jamie doesn’t miss the way your eyes widen in what he can only construe as fear at the sight of him. It subsides into wariness when he hands you the flowers, but he doesn’t like that the fear was there in the first place. He understands you want to be cautious, but fear?

That’s not good at all.

So he telegraphs all his movements as best he can. Shoulders down, hands at his sides and unclenched. He takes half a step back but asks, “Can we talk?” and watches you play a million outcomes in your head at once.

You don’t want to let him in, but Clare’s asleep in the living room. And the flowers are an indicator that he’s here for some positive reason so you step aside and say, “You can come to the kitchen.”

Jamie knows he’s on thin ice so he barely looks any other direction than straight to where you direct him. He doesn’t sit. He stands in the middle of the kitchen and awkwardly holds the flowers before you take them from him and set them on the counter. He opens his mouth to say something (he’s not quite sure what yet) and is saved by the baby crying in the other room. 

The baby. 

You sigh and go to get her and he scans the room as best he can for any indicator as to her name. He doesn’t see anything but photos stuck to the fridge. You come back into the room before he can move to look closer. 

“Her name’s Clare,” you say offhandedly. “You’re not on the birth certificate. You’ve always said you didn’t want to have kids, and I’m pretty fucking sure you wouldn’t want them with me. And-” you pause. Clare’s awake and staring right at your face. She really does look like Jamie.

“And,” you continue, “I didn’t really want you to come back just to fuck off again. Clare doesn’t deserve that. And you’ve been acting like a right fucking idiot all over national television, so.”

Jamie nods. “Makes sense.” 

You wait for him to say something else but he doesn’t, just looks so uncharacteristically lost that you sigh.

“You’re not here about custody, are you,” you. Jamie’s eyes widen.

“Fuckin’ hell, that’s what you thought this was about? I’m not- I wouldn’t- I’ve been to going therapy.”

You raise an eyebrow. That’s new. Maybe that’s what fucking Keeley Jones meant about decent. But he’s not getting off so fucking easy, if at all. 

“So what, you go to therapy a couple times and now you’re fixed? And you want a family? Or to apologize? You haven’t made it entirely clear why you’re here.”

Jamie says, “I’m here because I miss you,” and you scoff. 

“No- shit, I mean- I’ve missed you for a long fucking time but my texts weren’t going through, so I figured you blocked me. And Madeline is fucking terrifying, babe. But I was looking for you the other night because I wanted to apologize. And see if you wanted to get back together,” he says, and you’re not entirely sure how to react.

“Right,” you say, “well, that’s not fucking happening. You dumped me after a year, called me a two in the morning five months later, so yes, I blocked you. And you should be fucking scared of Madeline because I had to forcibly restrain her from ruining your goddamn life despite the fact that I actually wanted her to go completely apeshit. I have more important things than some twenty-six year old footballer who’s only just now getting his life together when I’ve had it together since I was eight. I have a job and a baby, and I’m handling both in the house that I’ve owned since I was twenty-two because like I said before, Jamie Tartt, I’ve had my life together since I was fucking eight years old. I had the same damn childhood as you and yet I’m not the one who has only recently learned what the fuck empathy is.”

Your rant upsets Clare, who begins crying. “Shit,” you sigh. “I’m sorry, Bean. You hungry?” You glance at Jamie. “I’m going to sit on the couch.”

“Right. Yeah,” says Jamie as he follows you to the next room. He sits gingerly on the couch across from you and you sigh again. He’s relatively harmless, and you’re well-versed in what he looks like when he’s up to no good. You pat the spot next to you and he sits, still carefully, while you adjust Clare. It isn’t until you sit down that you realize how fucking tired you are.

“She’s so fucking small,” Jamie whispers. “How the fuck do you ever get anything done? I’d just be looking at her.”

You laugh, but it’s short and brittle. “Things need to get done Jamie. She’s hungry, she needs to be changed, I have work to do and I’ve got to eat, but I’m sick of ordering in so I try to meal prep as much as I can but I don’t ever sleep and I’m afraid of burning the house down, so most of the time I eat frozen dinners at four a.m. because she’s awake.” Jamie doesn’t say anything, just listens. He’s inched closer or maybe you have or maybe both, because your thighs are touching and it sends the same shivers up your leg that it did two years ago. “I’m tired all the time,” you whisper. “It’s like my bones are tired. I think Madeline’s the only one who has any idea what it’s like and she can only help so much. Besides, she’s it’s her last night in fucking Milan and I’m not about to be that mum friend who’s constantly making everything about her baby. It’s just so much work, Jamie. You have no idea.”

You shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t but Madeline isn’t here and what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, so you rest your head on Jamie’s shoulder.

He freezes for a moment before tilting his face to touch the top of your head.

And you’re furious. It should have been like this before and as soon as it’s over your going to wish that it were like this more often. It’s a fantasy.

But you’ll indulge a little while longer before seriously considering moving somewhere else. Probably Chelsea if you’re being honest; it’s not too far away but it’ll give you the space you need to remind yourself that Jamie isn’t for you. He’s for someone else, someone like Keeley.

And anyway as soon as you want to let Madeline find you a man, you know you’ll have no shortage of options.

It’s not about that, though. It’s about the fact that you’ve been on your backup plan ever since Jamie left and you’d give anything to feel like you’re in control again.

Jamie murmurs, “I want to help,” and you shake your head slightly. 

“Don’t need money, my darling. I need someone to change her diaper at one in the morning.”

“That’s what I mean,” Jamie says and you chuckle.

“And when do you have time for that?” you ask. “Don’t you footballers have a strict sleep schedule? And you’d have to be here in the guest room because there’s no way I’m taking Clare to yours.”

Jamie shrugs and you sit up. “Don’t take this the wrong way love, but plenty of footballers ignore their sleep plan to fuck around. It’s got to be healthier and shit to take care of a kid, yeah?”

“No,” you say. “You can’t just show up and slip back into my life like that. I haven’t talked to you in almost a year and now you’re here on my couch, which is fine, but you can’t just come all the way back.”

Jamie frowns. “So what do I have to do?”

You shake your head. “That’s something for you to figure out without me.”

—

Jamie replays the whole thing from the time he gets back into his car to go home to the time he falls asleep. And then starts again when he wakes up and heads to the Dogtrack. The only person who looks at him twice is Higgins, although that may be more to Jamie’s choice of lime green sweatpants than his mental state.

He can’t get Clare’s face out of his head. He can’t get the feeling of your body on the couch next to him out of his system.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted when he returned to Richmond, he just knew he wanted something different. Maybe this is it.  

He’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that he knocks completely into Roy on his way to get his lunch.

“Fucking watch where you’re fucking going,” Roy grunts but Jamie barely acknowledges him.  

And that’s how Roy knows something is wrong because the little shit is never one to back down from an argument. But he’s Roy fucking Kent and the last thing he’s going to do is ask Tartt about his fucking feelings so he just walks away and forgets about it.

In hindsight, he thinks it probably would have provided some fucking context to what he’s seeing in front of him. 

A very apologetic Keeley Jones hangs on his arm while he watches some short brunette march into the locker room as if she owns it, grab Jamie by the ear, and start swearing at him.

No one seems to know what to do, probably in too much shock to stop Madeline from dragging Jamie (still by his ear) out of the room and presumably to the car park. 

Roy catches Beard’s eye, entirely by accident, who shrugs. Ted claps his hands and says something to the effect of, “Everyone’s made poor decisions when it comes to women, Sam go check on Jamie,” before following Roy and Beard to the coaches’ office. As soon as the door is firmly shut, Ted says, “What in the Sam Hill was that? I know Jamie’s ruffled a few feathers in his time, but I’ve never seen anything like that before, no sir.”

Everyone looks expectantly at Keeley. After all, she was the one chasing Madeline’s heels as she shouted, “God DAMN it Tartt, I’m going to fucking kill you!!” down the hall.

“Well you see,” Keeley begins, voice mousy, “I was in Milan where I met Madeline. We were chatting and we both found out we knew Jamie. And she’s friends with this girl who lives here in Richmond, and it turns out she and Jamie dated right before he was with me. I don’t know what he did but he did something awful while we were away because she got a text, said, “Fucking Tartt,” and then stepped out to take a phone call. She came straight here from the airport; I think her taxi’s still outside, actually.” She lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “I’m just surprised Jamie’s fucked something up again. He’s been doing so well recently.”

“Jamie has a kid,” Beard says like he can’t hold it in any more. He’s met with shocked silence until Ted says, “Well I’ll be. Jamie Tartt’s got a little tartlet,” and then everyone’s talking at once. Mainly, how does Beard know and what does that have to do with his arse getting hauled to the car park?

Ted’s just thankful this debacle happened at the end of the day, because the team can’t afford to miss any training with the Aston Villa game coming up. There’s a knock on the door, and Ted opens it to reveal Sam. 

“Jamie is going home with that angry young woman,” he says. 

Ted asks, “Should we be concerned?” and Sam shrugs. 

“He did not seem as though he needed rescuing,” he replies, and that makes sense. From what anyone could tell, it almost seemed as though Jamie felt like he deserved whatever Madeline was saying to him. As if he expected it. But no one has any more answers so they all just sort of disperse to their various homes. 

Keeley though, Keeley is so fucking curious she thinks she might explode. So as soon as she’s at Roy’s and seated on his sofa she opens her laptop and scrolls through Madeline’s entire fucking instagram to look for clues. It’s hard, what with all the brand deals and photo dumps, but Keeley’s a professional. She has a list of girls who occur in multiple photos throughout the years, checks off their socials, but comes up empty. 

Well, almost empty.

Half of Madeline’s friends are private, so those are Keeley’s top suspects, but there’s one friend whose photos switch from being full length to shoulders-up only about nine months ago. And there’s a selfie of Madeline in a hospital bed with this same friend buried in a photo dump from two and a half months ago with the caption, “she lived, bitch.” It’s focused on their faces and nothing else, but Keeley’s one hundred percent positive this is the girl.

Keeley spends the rest of the night on her computer scouring the internet for as much as she can possibly learn while Roy makes her tea and reads next to her.

next chapter

[ai-the-broccoli]

I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU RB'D THE DEATH NOTE ASK MEME uhhh. 23 and 24 maybe?

ooooh thanks!!!

23. what was your favorite moment and why?

"oooh that's a very hard question" ...is what I might've said, if this wasn't the light yagami animanga series and light yagami makes me insane. uhhh. I do have several though, if that's allowed.

(update: when I said "several" I meant uh. a lot apparently. whoops)

favourite line / favourite moment in a "holy wow this is amazing thematically": the. y'know. "Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, have you ever told the truth?" line in the anime rain scene. yeah. holy fuck that is amazing because I LOVE that sort of thing. as far as character traits go, there's like nothing I love more than characters that are liars who lie lyingly (multiple types of this apply). it's truly, truly the best.

favourite moments based on what I repeatedly rewatched immediately following my first watch of the anime: there are, uh. three (in no particular order)

light goes home from the entrance ceremony, incredibly stone-faced (like 😐) the entire way -> gets home, gets up the stairs, opens the door, shuts the door, sits down on his chair, suddenly starts shaking -> blows up "Dammit! He got me! Damn L! I have never been so humiliated in my life!" (even Ryuk comments internally that he's never seen him lose his composure so much) -> suddenly laughs and calms down talking about how it's a battle of wits now and he'll make L trust him and kill him, with his own hands if necessary. i rewatched this several times in a row which was definitely very normal of me.

look at him. grumpy but in like an extremely restrained way (his face is even hidden). until it breaks completely in the next page lol

the last episode. light trying so hard not to laugh/smirk in the warehouse, then he reveals himself as kira (a lot of laughing), and he loses and falls pathetically, shouting for kiyomi and mikami and misa after matsuda shoots him, and then runs in the beautiful sunset, passing his younger high school self by, and seeing a vision of L before he dies on the stairs. all this is great and i did an immediate rewatch of this episode after finishing it

the Relight scene where Light laughs on top of L's grave soil. it's conceptually fucked up in an amazing way that really really appeals to me. murder and grave desecration are really romantic/beautiful/erotic on principle.

as you can see I am very normal. as you can see I am a very normal Light Yagami fan. one of those two statements may be unironically true, but the two statements inherently cannot go together. anyway this particular selection of scenes totally doesn't actually say anything about me right but anyway I'm right those are totally the best please torture light some more everyone

favourite moments I didn't immediately repeatedly rewatch/reread like that but are still my absolute top favourites:

The entire first episode because DAMN did it hook me completely very, very fast. I did NOT know there was going to be Faustian contract + god complex&general big ego + everything else in one in this little and very infamous character known as "Light Yagami". my expectations were blown instantly and I got obsessed with DN right away

L and Light declaring war on each other over the live broadcast and L asking and taunting Light/Kira to kill him. amazing. it was really... gay. sorry I can't think of a better word lmfao

L's death scene oh my god. GOD I loved (and was really really amazed/impressed by by) Light rushing to him at once and basically lying on top of him for a second, so that he will die in his arms. GOD. it is SO. like yeah this is literally my favourite sort of thing holy shit it is amazing (it's to gloat to him and to declare victory before his death, and it's to pretend to the Task Force too, and yet it seemed like such an instinctual reaction really that I think his first instinct really IS to hold him in his arms before he dies. this is really good). and the dramatic performance afterwards. I love it

on a COMPLETELY different note. JESUS CHRIST I love Soichiro's death scene actually. because holy fuck the multi-layered irony. I really love it. actually I think I wrote about that scene long before I even really wrote anything else about DN. alright here:

idk if I still 100% agree with my initial impression but it should still overall hold and MAN. I definitely loved it (<- fan of irony) (<- extremely, extremely normal Light Yagami fan) (<- fan of Soichiro also, to a lesser extent)

favourite moment that gave me a lot of thoughts when I'm reading the manga: (even though I already first watched the anime and this stuff is also in the anime)

the moment where Rem is like "okay I will kill L" and Light, person who has been plotting this exact murder for ages, is like. Oh shit. he'll die...? which is. man. Light sure is Light

like look at his face here!

favourite manga-exclusive moments:

Light not considering killing Sayu. Light asking Soichiro to promise him to come back alive with Sayu. that scene afterwards where Soichiro is at home thinking he should die. (at least I think those weren't in the anime?)

the manga ending is also good

I like that the manga tells us he lost weight and has nightmares due to using the death note. (it possibly has happened to anime light too but we don't get to see it)

not a "favorite moment" exactly, but while the scene is beautiful I don't like Misa dying in the end despite how much I adore everything else in that episode, so I like that Misa doesn't canonically die like that in the manga

favourite anime-exclusive moments:

rain scene and footwashing scene yes obviously

everything about Light being "haunted" after L's death. aside from the aforementioned Light dying scene, I really like the anime

I love the anime ending too

also hmm this might be a less popular opinion, but personally I also love some of anime Light's characterization tidbits that differs from the manga (e.g. first episode). I would say it's because it's maybe very slightly more relatable for me but that probably sounds wack lmao so

favourite moments based on how comedic I find them: (not including ones I already included in other sections) DN is such an amazing comedy I'm not even kidding

the whole handcuffs thing oh my god. homophobic misa moment. I didn't think she'd actually call him gay, but there it was. also just fken. buddy. L??????? why and how and in what world was there an absolute need for this totally normal, totally appropriate, absolutely most safe and most ideal method of interrogating criminals. I was laughing because god. that's not even. yeah okay I'm happy with it but LMFAO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. and Light just easily went along with it

the... the... first date scene. I was like oh my god c'MON you two. I didn't think something like this would be so like this in the actual canon manga. first date where Misa is being thirdwheeled while Light and L sit together chained together and then they focus all energy on talking to each other and then they get into a fist fight (date activity) all over the room. combined with the later dunking on matsuda. this is LITERALLY how a fucking sitcom goes at this point.

the anime's footwashing also. not the scene itself necessarily but just the fact that it fucking exists between lawlight and is. Like THAT????? lmfao like what the hell

ALSO the. fken. Matsuda fake death scene lmfao it was so wack in retrospect

live Ryuk reactions + "hey Light can we play Mario Golf? can we play Mario Golf Light? come on let's play a match of Mario Golf"

man I can't even include all of it here because Light Yagami is so entertaining to me in 85%+ of all the scenes she appears in in one way or another like his existence itself is peak entertainment to me. it's entertaining when Light is humiliated and it's entertaining when he's succeeding. and like I mean, he's the protagonist of the whole manga / show, and I mean I can't list every moment in the series can I. lmao

favourite moments that don't have light yagami in it: I'm sorry everyone else but I am especially obsessed with light. as you can see. however I love many other characters too

Kiyomisa dinner kiyomisa fighting !!!

(technically this includes light but) matsuda shooting light

misa being unexpectedly smart (compared to her wider reputation) (the higuchi car scene! and others) is also nice

idk if it makes sense but. the scene where Rem and Misa mention the way a Shinigami can die, and Misa admits to thinking about killing Rem like it's. just very Neat. I like the vibes here and Misa is very beautiful (related to the dialogue about love and killing. yeah)

also!! I love the meronia moments

and then I recently got myself into soichello so actually yeah. the soichiro mello scenes too. very good

24. any headcanons you want to share?

uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm. man what's a headcanon I haven't properly shared on tumblr before, and also isn't like a take that is shared and often discussed by tons of people around here already?

... fine okay let's do this finally.

neurodivergence + mental illnesses headcanons

[disclaimer: please read this post first. if you disagree, you can skip over this and skip to the next section!]

aside from OCD and autism, imo Light has NPD with some ASPD traits, and also bipolar. this is because the way his mental illnesses are is like. I feel represented lol. (not as in I have every one of those things I listed, but I probably have some/most of them, and the combinations are interesting). even though this is unfortunately Light Yagami. but I really like him for that too tbh because man. I don't get to see that stuff often. (like idk how to explain it. even though I'd never even remotely pull that kinda stuff because of differences in personalities, values, background, abilities, and manifestation and degree of symptoms, etc. however some of his mannerisms sometimes feel right on point e.g. I feel like the way he is like sometimes gives me depression + hypomanic/manic vibes, in a way where I can see myself in him if it makes sense lmao)

on that note Misa 100% very BPD I agree. I wanna say on top of autism, L also seems to have some ASPD traits imo. Near is autistic but I think that goes without saying lol. Mello has like... C-PTSD and/or NPD. and then this probably not a very unexpected take, but Matsuda has ADHD or audhd vibes. OH and! Soichiro also very much has OCD and autism, imo.

other headcanons:

not a hot take, but Mello and Near are both nonbinary and/or genderqueer (and/or otherwise trans, if not applicable) to me (could be transmasc or transfem, not necessarily transneutral; I could see either or any direction among those, although I would say I lean toward seeing Near as transfem and/or nonbinary, and Mello as transmasc and/or genderqueer).

Light is demi, and has had a covert superiority complex about not feeling attraction unlike his peers (like. you can view him deciding to use porn mag reading to prove himself as a normal teenage boy as indicative of his subconscious? mental association of his more "normal" peers as, like.... unfortunate horny perverts. in a way. if that makes sense) I know how it feels because I was kinda like this in grade 6-8

man I definitely have other ideas too but I'm drawing a blank at the moment partly because it's late and I still haven't eaten lunch lmao. I will continue to post my thoughts and headcanons in the future, so tune in by clicking on the subscribe butto- *gets shot*

ask game

[not-that-syndrigast]

Let's talk about Lando during the race yesterday.

None of us are strategic experts and although we are all questioning the really weird decisions made that put Lando in the place he was in, I want to talk about what happened there.

I've seen a lot of different opinions on the radio messages. Some are calling them vile and gaslighting, others are saying Lando should've complied with them earlier, and I want to give an idea on why he didn't switch back earlier here;

The radio messages were straight up lying to him. I want you all to imagine, you are pumped full with adrenaline, need to be on focus, drive perfectly to get the win, something you desperately want but suddenly the people that should support you start talking shit in your ear that you need to give back the position because of a mistake they made but they are not even acknowledging it? I totally understand why he was annoyed, but when they lied to him about his tyre degredation? The reason he didn't switch back wasn't because he disliked Oscar, but it was actively defying the team which I don't think he can be blamed for.

But why did he switch back in the end?

Let's look at his interview answers. I'm aware that these are very PR trained, but I do think we can gain a bit of truth out of them, especially this one;

"I put myself in his shoes and I realized I had to do what was right"

You could interpret this as Lando being a nice and selfless driver, but I'm not that delusional. I think, to the end, he managed to find some time to actually think, because I doubt the reason why calling this the right thing is because he likes Oscar so much.

Rather, I think Lando had to think further than this race outcome and think about their future as teammates together. Had he taken the win, it would have been the second time McLaren fucked over Oscars strategy to let Lando be better. You cannot tell me McLaren didn't see the way everyone was outraged after Silverstone and I think Lando was well aware that the radio was not lying with one thing; he needs a team to win this.

There's only so much bullshit a driver can take before deciding to leave for a better team and you can't tell me that there wouldn't be many teams glad to take Oscar. Instead, Lando choose to switch back for the sake of the future as teammates because should it be the other way around in the future, Oscar will do the same. This is just supported by Lando stating;

"but I know what Oscar's done for me in the past"

He's aware that they can and need to work together as teammates.

In the end, I doubt that this took a big hit on their (if maybe PR) friendship. Even if the interviews afterwards were a bit awkward, who can blame them? I'll assume they'll talk it out privately and come back even stronger because they apparently have to fight their own team now.

[kdrama-mama]

Just sitting here thinking about how I don’t understand why Wedding Plan wasn’t more popular. The story was sweet, chemistry was excellent between the couples, it highlighted a real world issue many queer folks have to navigate, the NC scenes were sexy as hell - it was up there with one of the best BLs I’ve watched honestly.

I find it so weird how people shit on Mame so often for being “problematic” and yet they didn’t want to watch a series she put out that was totally unproblematic? The worst thing is Lom misleading Nuea and his mother, but if you listen, you realize he was very carefully *not* lying, and simply skirting the truth because he was in a very difficult situation. (Do they really love the “problematic” content but feel the need to publicly loudly pretend otherwise? Maybe)

Or they wrote it off completely because they didn’t like the kiss between the GL couple? It makes zero sense to me, and I have seen many people say that. There was a whole discussion on one Reddit thread I saw. And yeah, I agree that Katheryn did not do a good job with the kissing - Aya was clearly trying, but wasn’t given much to work with. But they weren’t the main couple, the main couple had excellent kisses, and they were so freaking adorable in all their other scenes. I really want to see Aya in a GL where she’s the lead.

Whenever I tried to engage on Twitter or a bit on here, it was like nobody was talking about it. Aya liked some of my tweets, and I honestly think she saw it just because so few people were tweeting about the episodes!

Or there’s people who wouldn’t watch it bc they thought Mame was using Boss, Noeul, Fort, and Peat for “clout,” when their cameos made perfect sense and were incredibly sweet moments for two of my favorite BL couples! I was so happy to have those sweet moments of closure for their stories.

Anyway, if you didn’t watch Wedding Plan for whatever reason, I highly encourage you to watch it! I’m sad I can’t get the special episode legally in the US, I would have bought it. I suspect she didn’t have it available in as many countries as Love in the Air because it was less popular.

[baronfulmen]

I find all of the discussion of Biden pardoning his son baffling. Totally willing to believe I'm the idiot here, but it all seems ridiculous.

Nobody is talking about the actual reason for this, that being that the incoming fascist government long ago decided they were going to make up something to throw Hunter in jail for and have openly stated that they are out to punish people and don't care about the truth. What do you mean you don't know why the pardon was so broad? It was because Biden is trying to protect Hunter from made up crimes that could be conceivably anything.

Lots of people are acting like this is some big subversion of justice and... maybe I missed something? Hunter already paid the taxes he ducked out on and everything. Yes, sure, it's possible that this is covering for an ACTUAL crime we didn't know about but I haven't seen evidence for that. Hunter is a piece of shit but his actual crimes were lying about using drugs on a government form (which people do all the time and are never prosecuted for) and not paying taxes, which like I said he has now paid.

Lots of people are acting SHOCKED that Biden would go back on his word of be a hypocrite, and like this is the worst thing Biden has ever done which... what? Have you not paid any attention to politics ever?

I'm seeing so much talk about how OH NO THIS WILL GIVE TRUMP AN EXCUSE TO _________ which is just absurd. He's going to do whatever he wants regardless. They do not need excuses. They have literally already made up things Dems didn't do just so they could justify doing worse themselves.

Angry people on the news are acting like this is the first questionable thing pardons have ever been used for, as if pardoning friends and family members has never happened before this. That's VERY much not the case.

Finally, I'm seeing SO MUCH OUTRAGE over this in a way I haven't at all seen outrage over anything else. All of Trump's crimes, our whole government supporting genocide, etc. and while I don't want to sound like I'm saying we're not allowed to talk about something just because we didn't talk about something else it really feels silly that THIS is where we draw the line.

I'm not saying I like that Biden pardoned Hunter. I just... don't get these takes all over about how it's the worst thing anyone has ever done and now everything Trump does is Biden's fault or whatever.

[starry-bite]

live episode reaction: "save the children" (cme 17x10)

ooh time for another formative trauma for my girl

i’m not emotional about dave and tara, you are

the wheelchairs would be so funny in another context

i love how their mission totally changes focus when em’s gone like fuck the strat we’ve gotta find emily

voit you’re so annoying i don’t want to fucking see or listen to you anymore

emily being the center of everything. conspiracy girlies just like me for real.

oh honey her list of kidnappings - cyrus 2008, doyle 2011, lewis 2017 (+bailey 2024)

ooh projector time

“you know, the first time i was out in the field i threw up.” “really?” “no. i was just trying to make you feel better.” I LOVE HER one thing about emily is she will extend such care even to this fuckin guy

paget brewster is about to deliver an incredible episode all while sitting down and i can’t wait

“you’re an only child, right? you scream only child.”

YOU HAVE A SISTER???? (i can’t decide if this is ridiculous and fucked up retroactive writer shit or if hiding a sibling from her colleagues for ~20 years is a deeply emily thing to do. or a secret third thing: spycraft lying to bailey about having a sibling so he’d be at ease/trust her/tell her more about his brother.)

oh secret siblings plotline my beloathed (interesting tie-in in this particular case it just Always rubs me the wrong way)

WAIT WAIT it's “i’m floating the idea of an eviler twin.”

“if we lose prentiss because of this, no classification in the world is gonna save you.” / “i’m not threatening your career, ray.” FUCK HIM UP ROSSI i for one would love these old men to fight

i know this is far from revelatory but god i fuckin hate madison he sucks. like. so much.

rebecca. wilson. you. rock.

“i agree, but this is emily.” full argument from ms. jareau, she said emily is a complete sentence

this brother thing is. just. so dumb.

“goddammit, i bit through my tongue.” this woman

“YOUR BOYFRIEND’S DEAD BECAUSE YOU SHOT HIM, BABE, AND YOU KILLED HIM FOR NO REASON.” EMILY PRENTISS THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE

ughh don’t call her jenny

“our special time in the cells” god and the grounding thing with her necklace this sucks so much i’m sorry jj

the way tyler is so quickly ride or die for emily this guys gets it

“and if i say no?” “voit doesn’t go, and emily dies.” oh dave

“not just the spirit but the letter of the law.” “really? you’re telling me this?” “i know. that’s why i’m not going.”

PG ABOUT TO POP OFF SHE GAVE TYLER HER GLASSES KILL HIM GARCIE I GOT YOUR FLOWER

hey baby girl wtf was that?

AWWWW CHOCOLATE THUNDER MORGAN MENTION! AFTER ALL THIS TIME? ALWAYS!

YES JJ GETS HER CONFRONTATION i do wish she had any kind of support ever though. go jj being able to handle things but you shouldn’t have to (alone).

RUINED THIS MAN’S WHOLE CAREER GOOD JOB BABY

“he had a drive that… i used to have it.” tear my entire heart open why don’t you (this is a surprise tool that will help us later, i.e. come up with a vengeance next season)

the way emily sat up straight to die, believing so completely that jade was going to kill her and she was like ‘alright, let’s go. stand and face it bravely.’

catholic guilt emily goes hard as always

the thing that really shakes her is the idea of her team in danger. the way she would die in a heartbeat to save them. you don’t get it.

“do you know that feeling when you’re staring up at the ceiling and you’re thinking, what if it’s all bullshit? maybe it’s after a preacher’s sermon or your dad yelling at you or–” “or some man is done holding you down.” “so you know.” “i do.” “so you know that– that the only way to make it through is to just. buy all the bullshit. because the alternative is way too fucking hard.” / “we need you to tell us your truth.” “will you listen to me this time?” “yes. we will.”

yeah so i’m gonna be thinking about emily saying ‘or some man is done holding you down.’ for the rest of ever 

also about emily buying all the (bureau) bullshit, the grand mission, not a higher power but a higher purpose, a reason for her suffering, holding her faith in the system like religion (you can take the girl out of the catholic church etc)

i hate that we spent so much of the season finale getting cozy with a character we’d never met and weren’t meant to care about further than we could throw him and took the time for a long arrest montage sequence (and the gang standing around looking goofy af) and yet there was no time for a team reunion scene???? DumB

“not when your valor depends on my discretion.” emily prentiss you are INcredIBLE

emily ‘i will do the right thing if it kills me’ prentiss (phrase functions as threat, promise, devotion, degradation, and request all at once btw)

she is just. so catholic.

QUANTEECO CALLBACK KIRSTENNNNNN

“i’m omnipresent” i love her

hooray you’re alive cake nope i’m dead this is the funniest possible choice

“so you were so high you couldn’t get off the couch?” “i thought i was dying. i have never been that high–ever. now, emily on the other hand…” “every time i think i know her, she surprises me with another secret.” LIKE A SECRET SISTER??? (also what an insane way to trivialize their deep connective moments in that episode. and does make me think even more about how jj probably would not have said anything like what she said if she hadn't been high off her ass.)

rebecca’s hair is bad here i’m sorry

“we decided we’re more miserable apart than together.” god they love to have sapphics together AROUND a season, never during one. because they hate us. (i say this in a joking way.) 

(but do i though?)

“she’s schwarzenegger, i’m devito.” i hate this. hate crimes.

“why are you saying his name in my personal lair?” pen calling her home a lair i love you penelope garcia

the long history of emily not fucking being at team things i know she’s gonna swing in at the end but BRUH

also GIVE HER A MOMENT TO EMOTIONALLY REFLECT YOU COWARDS the cock of plot is so far down my throat like bro EASE UP let these bitches have some emotional depth. as a treat. state mandated. the state is me.

writers are you absolutely shitting my dick no addressing emily’s trauma with the team??? like at fucking all??????? wait a minute. this is the bad place! (i know they’re gonna deal with it next season like they did with the rossi shit, it’s classic cross-season rollover biz but also WHAT THE HELL)

[pomplalamoose]

we need some domestic headcanons for luke 😭 i absolutely LOVE you for putting out so much luke content for the faint of heart

Making as much Luke content as I can is my mission here so thanks for your ask!!!🫶🏻

I hope this is what you wanted, if not, you are always welcome to ask for something more specific <3

• despite what he wants his Padawans and others to believe, Luke likes to sleep in

• of course he can't admit to that out loud because he's trying to be a good role model

• so outwardly he puts in great effort to be the stern and responsible teacher

• you, however, know better

• while he is never even a second too late and appeares out of thin air just when he is expected, he loves slow mornings in bed

• especially with you in his arms

• he's a "ohhh just five more minutes" kinda guy but tends to really REALLY stretch that saying

• until the five more minutes quickly turn into "shit I overslept" and suddenly he's scrambling, trying to do everything at once, often forgetting to get his breakfast in the process

• he never learns his lesson either which makes it even funnier 

• his students would have a blast if you told them the truth about their Master

• (even more so if they knew how he drools in his sleep)

• sometimes, after an especially hard day of training or a long excursion, he allows his Padawans a day of rest 

• what they don't know is that he enjoys those more than they do

• finally he has some time to sleep as long as he wants to

• while he also likes surprising you with an extravagant breakfast in bed, he much prefers to prepare it together 

• also, since we're on the topic, I think he'd be really into having brunch 

• when he has scraps of time in his every day life, he does his share of household chores 

• wearing an apron 

• so his very nice black clothes don't get dirty

• listen, I don't know where he got it from, maybe it was lying around some day because you took it off and forgot to put it away again 

• possibly it says something cheesy on the front, like "kiss the cook"

• OR even better, it has ruffles 

• either way he manages to look hot in it

• something about his broad frame in tight fitting clothes, his sleeves rolled up and a big apron bow at the back makes you want to climb him like a tree

• most of the time he is a very orderly person too, keeping your shared living space tidy and clean 

• except when it comes to his socks 

• they're lying around everywhere

• and I mean EVERYWHERE

• at the beginning of the week, after he did the laundry on Sundays, they are neatly folded and stacked in his drawer

• once they are out, they are out though 

• it's like they have a will of their own 

• so when he eventually runs out of clean ones, he has to painstakingly search every last corner of every room to get them all back together 

• on the plus side he's really good at building and fixing all kinds of things

• it definitely has to do with the way he grew up and he likes to do it too; it helps him get his mind off things 

• I totally see him forcing one or more of his students to help him out as a form of detention 

• (it's low-key fun though)

• he's like a dad in those moments, going full "hold that flashlight for me JUST like that" mode

• also he recruits them for extra credit from time to time when he's working on a special project 

• of course he could also put droids to work but insists on letting his Padawans do it, because "it's an important part of their education"

• (he likes having them around)

• he often tells them fun stories while they're at it and since he is a great story teller, they always have a good time 

• during the children's free time he allows himself to be more easy going with them and is totally down to play dress up or hide and seek

• occasionally he gets invited to little tea parties and picnics 

• also I think he'd try to make the introduction to meditation easy and more appproachable for the little ones by making them color out mandalas 

• (he likes mandalas too)

• he's horribly allergic to kiwis but doesn't know because he never encountered one before 

• (and probably never will, are there kiwis in space?)

• sometimes he randomly goes missing during the day 

• if that's the case there's a high chance he's off somewhere snorkeling to look at fishies 

• it's very hard to get his attention then and every call falls on deaf ears

• rumor has it he does it on purpose 

• when he eventually leaves the water sopping wet, with his pants clinging to him tightly, everyone forgives him easily enough though 

• especially his older students like to wait out for these moments

• I kind of see that turning into an event 

• he never quite understands what's going on but is delighted to see so many coming up to him

• (he understands very well but pretends he doesn't when you indignantly throw a towel and him, telling him to cover up)

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c14. Antamoro.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Piazza Grande, Lucio Dalla, Francesco de Gregori.

abstract: hey it's Jude, if you don't like being lied to don't read this because I'm seriously full of shit and these lies will probably bite me in the ass at some point. anyway, spoiler alert, kinda dark ending, but that's what you get having me tell this story. bye.

'You're from Italy?'

'Not exactly', she lied. Put your head in the game, no more information for him. Stay true to your profile. They were walking near a park, she was holding Jinx on a leash. The air was crisp, it wan't windy and the dog was overly excited. She had quickly ran upstairs to leave her bag at her place, put on a scarf and take the dog. When she had gone down the stairs, Simon was waiting for her on the sidewalk. She smiled at him involuntarily, seeing Jinx run towards him to smell his shoes and legs, tail wagging. He slightly bend down to let him sniff his hand. They had been walking in silence for a while, his hands in his pockets, her struggling to keep Jinx from pulling on the leash. He guessed right, she was from Italy. The hand gestures maybe or her fake name, which was Italian. She could't tell him the truth he already knew too much and he was smart enough to come up with the right questions. Thankfully, she was quite good at lying on the spot. 'I was born in Southampton, my dad is from Italy' she said. She was walking a lot slower, Jinx sniffing the grass. 'I heard you speak Italian, though', he noted and she cursed him for being so attentive to details. 'I wouldn't say English is my first language, I only spoke it at school… my mom is Croatian, she met my dad in Italy so I spoke Italian my whole life. I also went to uni in Italy…' she lied. 'What did you study?' he asked. He did have a few questions, some of them less appropriate than others. 'Psychology' she replied, that wasn't a lie. Not a total lie anyway. He wanted to know her life story and he was about to ask her to just tell him about it from her first memories of childhood, but she spoke first. 'I forgot your surname' she said, he told her. 'What's yours?'

'Antamoro.'

He swore that was some kind of witch magic shit, cause he never heard something that sounded like that. Her voice was different when she said it, it was low. She rolled the r on her tongue. Antamoro. It sounded like fucking royalty. It sounded rich and pure, it sounded red and thick like blood. He tried to repeat it in his British accent, and she giggled at the attempt. That made her say it again. Antamoro. It means antidote in Greek. That was his final straw. He was hypnotised. Alba Antamoro. He was thinking about getting it tattooed on his forehead, when she spoke again. 'Why did you join the military?' she asked, and he told her. Some bullshit about serving the country, making a difference. He was young when he joined, he had so much rage. Fighting was all he knew how to do, and he became quite good at it. He even grew to like the paper work, it relaxed him. She sat down on a bench, crossing her legs. He sat beside her while Jinx sniffed and ran around them. Fog had started to set around them. Did she always go to that spooky park? She got a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. Winston Blue. She took one out and signalled for him to take one as well. He wanted to deny, he felt like he was giving into her. He was letting his guard down. He accepted the cigarette and she noticed he took so long to decide. She chucked and lit her cig. 'How did you end up here?' he finally asked. She wasn't asking him questions about himself, he was the weak one in the situation. He wanted to know her, he was showing interest. So, why the army, why America? She breathed out smoke slowly. 'I took two separate masters degree in clinical psychotherapy and forensic psychology. Both in the UK. Then I came here to get my licence and work cause I didn't want to be in England anymore. That's it' she said, like it was an easy job. Three university degrees, hu? You're smart, Alba, I knew you were smart, he thought. That's how she knew so much and her brain worked so well…She lived all over the place, she must have saw places, visited countries, talked to people, experienced a life he never lived. He thought her parents must have been wealthy, which they were. Alba didn't mention she stole from them to pay her education and had serious debt before she could fully pay it off. Didn't mentioned she worked at Lidl and as a part time waitress for two, miserable years… He looked at her smoke, he rolled up his mask and lit his cigarette. She was calling Jinx who had a stick in his mouth and was running around with it, 'Put it down…' she was saying.

'I thought you were too young to be a therapist' he said, she turned around to face him with a surprised expression. 'How old you think I am?' she asked, her voice bright and chirpy. '24…3..?' he guessed. She chucked, 'I'll take it was a compliment… I'm 26 Simon, how old are you?' She asked back and he told her he was 32. She stubbed her finished cigarette on the side of the bench and placed it beside her foot, she did not throw it on the ground. 'Your family still in Southampton?' he asked when they stood up and she got the dog back on leash. She waited a tad too much to answer. My family is not in Southampton, my family is in Italy and I haven't talked to them in a very long time, because they do bad things for a living. I left because I didn't want to be associated with them anymore and I'm dead to them now. I left and I risked my life and I can never go back, I changed my name, I have a new life and I will never see my home country again. I will never see my mom again, I will never see my dad again, my sister. I've been fucking alone for seven years. I lived alone, I studied alone, there was no one at my graduation, there was no one at Christmas, for New Years, for my birthdays. I ate alone for seven years, I slept in an empty house, sometimes I went weeks without speaking to anyone. I don't have a home, I don't have anyone to hold me when I cry, to be proud of me, to have dinner with me, to take a walk with me. I am a ghost, I am nobody.

'Yes they still live there.'

He walked her home. She asked him more questions, like where he was from. Near Manchester. If his family still lived there. They passed, to that she replied I'm sorry. All of them? He asked her what she was doing with the ballet school, he remembered she talked about choreographies with Gemma in the car. The Nutcracker. She asked how long he had worked for Price, if he liked his job, which he did. She asked him about the mask, she was specific, Do you wear it even when you go in public? Honey I don't go out often. He didn't say that. 'I like it better when I wear it… even in public.' They were in front of her place. She had this big black scarf on, her oversized jumper which was swallowing her figure. Tiny running shoes. She looked tired. In a good way, relaxed. 'Thanks for the walk' she said. 'No problem.' They had spent a good two hours together… who would have thought. He thought that was his cue to leave but she spoke again. 'Thanks for listening to the crater story. I'm not expecting you to do anything, tell Price or whatever. You're right, it could be a coincidence, I don't think it's worth pursuing.' She sounded sincere. He offered her a small smile that she couldn't see because of the mask. 'Sure.'

'Goodnight Simon. Drive safe.' she said.

'Night Alba. Thanks for dinner'.

When he got back he ran into Johnny on the way to his room. 'Oi, where have you been, did you go out?'

When she got home, Salvo had replied to her message saying she had dinner with the Lieutenant. The message read: 'What the fuck??? call me???'

notes: if you ever lived abroad for a long time you know how it feels to know you don't belong anywhere. the loneliness. the silence. and at the same time, doing what you love, studying or working and feeling like you're achieving so much and all on your own. you came so far and the only person to thank is yourself. I want to tell you through Alba's story how it feels to get out of a small reality in a part of Italy that not very educationally oriented. being able to get away and discover what is actually like to live, to become an adult by yourself. the realisation that you've been doing it all alone is hard to manage.

notes: she thinks she's a Ghost (I love this, the invisible string). also I realised when I was proofreading that I wrote 'I had no one to have dinner with me, to take a walk with me' which she had just done with him… blushing.

notes: i fucking love the surname Antamoro, which I think it's from the Northern part of Italy (where Alba is definitely not from eheheh). also, the fact that it means antidote is fucking perfect to describe her relationship with Simon. btw, you pronounce it exactly how i't written, but you can check google translate.

taglist:

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[ceterisparibus116]

Frank has lied to Karen and even put her in explicit danger by using her as bait in the diner to lure out the Blacksmith's men and lied to her by omission by not disclosing his plans. That's worse than any other shit Matt did so? Easily disproves one of your talking points about how "fRaNk nEveR LiEd tO hEr" 🤪 goofy

Normally, I don't consider it productive to engage with someone who...talks like this...but I do think it's interesting to compare Frank's lies vs Matt's lies.

[First, pro tip: if you're going to say a person's point is "easily disproven," it helps to articulate that point correctly. I never said Frank "never" lied to her; I said: "Frank (for the most part) did neither of those things [lied to her nor put her on a pedestal]." I'm conceding that Frank did lie to her, but suggesting that his relationship with her was not marked by lies the way Matt's relationship with her was. Misrepresenting someone's point like this is called a "straw man fallacy." I encourage everyone who's unfamiliar with the idea to look it up!]

Let's talk about the lies. Frank totally lied to Karen and used her as bait, which I (as a viewer) find pretty horrific. And is that "worse" than Matt's lies? If the metric we use to determine "worse" is "which endangers Karen more," then I think Frank did directly endanger her more than Matt did.

But we have to look at this from Karen's perspective, and I don't think the metric she's using is "which lies endanger me more." Frankly, Karen doesn't much care about danger. She cares about Capital-T Truth. She cares about trust. She cares about honest relationships. And by that metric, I think yes, she believes that Matt's lies are "worse."

I believe this for the reasons listed below, but also because it strikes me that her reactions to Frank's lies vs Matt's are quiet different. Like, was she mad that Frank lied to her? Absolutely. But when I watch it, I don't get the impression that she was hurt.

Mad is not the same as hurt.

With Frank, she was mad.

With Matt, she was mad and hurt.

Why? For several factors.

Depth/intimacy of the relationship. She'd known Matt for over a year (I think; timelines are weird) by the time she realized he'd been lying to her. Not only that, but she'd been working with him for that whole time period. Not only that, but she'd had a crush on him for probably that whole time period (or close to it) (which I bring up because a crush is one surefire way to make a relationship feel intimate, maybe even more intimate than it really is). Not only that, but their relationship was fairly intimate. From the very beginning, he invited her to ask him some very personal questions about his blindness, and she was depending on him to keep her out of jail. Then we have him literally falling apart and sobbing in her arms. Talk about intimate! And not only that, but they also literally dated and she invited him to her apartment to have sex, let's be real. So when Matt lies to her, it's not the same as a guy she's known for a few weeks whom she wants to rescue the way you want to rescue a lost puppy lying to her. This is her coworker, her best friend, and her would-be partner lying to her.

Scope of the lies. The scope of Matt's lies runs deep. A) Him lying (by omission) about his senses clearly hits Karen very hard. It feels like a massive invasion of privacy. Now, I've argued before that it's unfair for characters to punish Matt for something he can't control, and I've also argued that Matt is not required to reveal his senses to anyone. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt (and shock, and even offend) people to realize that he could smell their breath and hear their heartbeat this entire time. B) He's lying about a huge part of his life and personality. Frank's very up front: he might lie about goals and tactics, but when it comes to who he is as a person, what you see is what you get. Whereas Matt presents himself (as Matt) as a very buttoned-up, reasonable, conscientious, safety-oriented, controlled person...the very opposite, in many ways, of Daredevil. C) Matt's lying about things that could have huge direct consequences for Karen (and Foggy) - namely, their law firm falling apart and Karen and Foggy possibly going to prison. D) Matt lied more to Karen than he did to another person. I don't think Karen's reaction to Elektra was primarily jealousy per se; I think instead she's like: "You won't share this part of my life with me, but you will with Elektra." Not dissimilar to how Foggy was mad about Claire knowing more about Daredevil than he did. It just hurts to find out that your friend has chosen to reveal things to someone else, rather than you.

What the lies say about how the other person views Karen. What does it say about how Frank views Karen that he'd lie to her the way he did? Ehhhh. I guess that he didn't want her getting in the way of his plans? Maybe he thought she couldn't handle something, and that would annoy her? But with Matt, wow, we know exactly how she thought Matt felt about her, based on the lies. She says: "Why didn't you trust me? What, did you think I would judge you?" To her, Matt's secret-keeping was proof that he didn't trust her (ouch) and that he fundamentally misunderstood her by believing she'd judge him when she prides herself on finding the humanity in those others would condemn.

All of these factors show why when Matt lied to Karen, she wasn't just pissed off. She was hurt. Matt's lies struck deep in a way that Frank's didn't.

And listen. I say all this as a giant Karedevil fan. I don't ship Kastle at all. In fact the argument from the first factor (that Karen was so hurt by Matt's lies because of the intimacy of their relationship) is, to me, a pro-Karedevil argument.

But being a fan of a ship doesn't mean we can't evaluate it critically. Evaluating all things critically is one of the aims of my blog.

So, dear Anon, if you're still reading this far (which I kinda doubt lol), I hope this made sense. But if you're just going to send me another ask misstating my positions and calling my position "goofy," then into the trash it shall go!

[americahasasuperstar]

Netflix & Chill

Adonis was cool peoples.

Of course, Nyla didn’t really have any worries that he wasn’t, but it was nice to confirm what she already thought.

Baking him a cake seemed to be the easiest way to get him to like her. Which she was grateful for because honestly, she didn’t care to do anything more to make him like if the cake didn’t work. She watched with an amused look on her face as he practically devoured the entire cake before him. She never understood how men could just eat so much and not gain a single pound. It made her wonder why they got that little superpower and not her.

He would take moments to stop eating to ask if she wanted any more than what she got or to tell her that she was a master at baking, which she surely appreciated. She was good with her one slice though, that was already too much sugar for her. 5 minutes had passed and it seemed like he was done eating for now. He only had like two slices left but she figured that he had ate enough to last him for the entire week, so she took it upon herself to grab the rest of the cake and put it in the fridge for him to eat later on.

“So, why move to Philly?” Nyla asked him as she closed the fridge after she placed the cake pan in there.

“Let’s just say I got some business to handle.” He shrugged.

“Oh, so you’re a dealer?”

“Girl what?” Adonis scoffed, furrowing his eyebrows at how she even came to such a conclusion. “No. Why you even guess that?” He asked.

“So… you’re a nigga with nowhere to go?” Nyla asked.

“Ain’t I just say I got shit to do here?”

“That’s what everyone says.” Nyla argued. “Truth is, nobody moves to Philly for anything other than the schools. It’s not like y’all aren’t aware of how dangerous it is.” She explained, shrugging her shoulders as she pushed her plate to the side.

“You not repping your city?” Adonis asked her.

“What’s there to rep? I’m leaving the moment I can.” She told him.

“Where to?”

“New Orleans maybe. Or maybe somewhere on the west coast. L.A. comes to mind.” Nyla said.

“I’ll take you one day.”

Nyla’s eyes lit up as she let out a cute little snort. “I knew you were from there!” She exclaimed.

“How?”

“I don’t know, you just give California. And I’m never wrong when reading someone’s vibe.” Nyla explained.

“Didn’t you just call me a drug dealer with nowhere to go?” Adonis asked her, amusement written on his face as she blushed out of embarrassment.

“I was simply asking.” She shrugged.

She walked around the counter, looking down at him as she stood by his side now. “So, what did you do before you moved?” She wondered.

“Boring ass office job.” Adonis muttered, clearly uninterested in talking about that aspect of his life.

“Oh yeah, that totally doesn’t seem appealing. I can barely stand still for more than 30 seconds.” Nyla chuckled.

“ADHD?”

“Nope. The will to explore.” Nyla grinned, placing her hand on her hip as she stopped by his side.

“How about you? What do you do?” Adonis wondered.

“I’m just your average waitress.” She shrugged.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a career to me.” He said.

“It’s a job. Not a career.” Nyla corrected him. “I’ll get started in my career soon though.” She said.

“What you thinking of?”

“Interior design.”

“Oh, that’s why you been disgusted and judging my empty ass apartment this whole time.” Adonis pointed out.

Nyla snorted as she hit his shoulder. “I have not been judging your place.” She giggled.

“You lying.”

“Am not!”

“Name three things in here you like then.” Adonis told her.

Nyla took a look around the very crappy— yet still beautiful in its own way— apartment for a few seconds. “Well, the cabinets are very evenly lined—“

“Don’t play in my face.” Adonis grinned.

“I’m not!” Nyla exclaimed. “The floors are nice. Love a good swept floor.” She told him.

“You really playing with me right now.” Adonis chucked, shaking his head in amusement as she rolled her eyes playfully.

“And the man that’s renting this place happens to be fine. So, that’s a good sign.” Nyla finished, smiling innocently as she batted her eyelashes at the man.

“How fine we talking?” Adonis wondered, raising an eyebrow.

“Real fine.”

Adonis grinned in satisfaction, patting himself on the back while she just rolled her eyes. He already knew he was fine. He just wanted her to validate it. He was so corny and it made her wanna rip her eyes out. She liked it though. It made him different than most of the men she had encountered in the past that took themselves way too serious for her liking. She actually liked being around Adonis. He wasn’t boring. And while that wasn’t anything special if we’re being honest, it still made him stand out.

The man stared at Nyla as she tapped her nails on his counter top, wondering if she was bored or not. He was enjoying himself, but of course, it didn’t take much to make him enjoy himself when he was in the company of the most beautiful girl he ever saw. Nyla was just enjoying the silence. There weren’t many people that she could be comfortable enough with to just sit in silence with them and enjoy their presence. Adonis happened to make himself one of those people in less than 24 hours of knowing Nyla. She couldn’t pinpoint it. Why him? What made him someone that she liked being around? Out of all the men that desperately tried to get her attention, here came Adonis, not even trying yet still getting something most men in Philly would die for.

“You got plans for tonight?” Adonis wondered, interrupting Nyla’s train of thought.

“Just staying in.” Nyla shrugged.

“Stay in with me.”

Nyla blinked a few times at his very bold statement, shaking off the feeling in her stomach that she felt as she bit her lip. “To do what in this lavish apartment?”

“You like movies?”

“What type of question is that, Adonis? Of course I do.” Nyla scoffed.

“My bad, some people don’t.” Adonis shrugged as he walked away from the counter. “Let’s see what we can find on Netflix.”

“Netflix and chill is what they call this.” Nyla told him, eagerly following him over to his couch.

“We just Netflix-ing. No chilling involved.” Adonis reassured her.

“Unfortunate.” Nyla muttered.

Adonis smirked as he looked at her over his shoulder. “You say something?”

“No, not at all.” Nyla chuckled, waving her hand dismissively. He had clearly heard her though. Didn’t mean she would give him the satisfaction of seeing her blush.

“Wanna watch The Purge?”

“What’s that?” Nyla said, gently sitting down next to him.

Adonis eyes widened as he looked at her. “You’ve never seen The Purge? You living under a rock or something, shorty?” He asked her.

“One, you’re cute but not cute enough to call me that. Two, I prefer dramas.” Nyla told him.

“One, thank you. You cute too. Two, but you not cute enough to get out of watching this tonight.” Adonis told her, making her laugh as he put on the movie.

“Oh God, am I going to have nightmares?” Nyla asked him, already whining and the movie didn’t even start yet.

“If you do, just scream my name and I’ll come running.” Adonis told her.

Nyla chuckled as she held onto his very strong arm, surely aiming on using him as comfort whenever she got scared. “My Knight In Shining Armor.”

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

Opening her eyes, she was shocked to be met with the view of something other than her own ceiling.

Nyla shot up with panic coursing through her veins as she looked around to see where she was at. She felt dumb when she realized where she was at. She didn’t realize that she had fallen asleep in Adonis’ apartment. How long had she been asleep for? The last thing she remember was the movie beginning and now she was waking up. And where was Adonis? She was shocked to see the answer to her question being right in front of her eyes. She looked over to her right to see Adonis knocked out just like she was a few seconds ago.

She had tried to get up, but she was weighed down by the man’s heavy ass legs in her lap. How did they even end up in such position? Nyla shook her head in disbelief as tried to push them off of her, only to fail. Turns out she was no match for his muscle. Even when he was asleep, he was still stronger than her and he wasn’t even trying. Jesus. She really needed to start working out more.

“Adonis.” Nyla whispered, shaking his legs a bit. “Adonis, hello? Wake up.” She said, starting to shake him harder and harder.

“Leave me alone.”

Nyla groaned in annoyance, but that’s when an idea popped into her head. Her sister always used this trick to wake her up when they were younger. She put her finger in her mouth to wet it, which made her cringe but she managed to fight that, and then reached over to Adonis’s ear. It was a bit gross to do on a stranger, but hey, Nyla was desperate to get up. When she put her finger in his ear, she couldn’t help but laugh. She was so childish cause what the hell was she even doing right now? However, her amusement was cut short when Adonis suddenly shot up and snatched her by her wrist.

“Jesus! Don’t break my damn arm!” Nyla hissed.

Adonis’s eyes widened when he realized that he wasn’t man handling an intruder, instead the pretty girl he let spend the day with him. He cringed at himself, letting go of her arm immediately. Nyla sighed in relief when she got her arm back, looking down at the slight bruise that his grip left behind. And when he realized that he had his legs laying on top of hers, he took those off. Much to her relief. Though, she kind of liked having him touching her.

“Shit, my bad. I ain’t mean to be all in your space like that. And I definitely ain’t mean to hurt you.” Adonis apologized.

“Don’t worry about it.” Nyla muttered, rubbing her sore arm with a pout on her face.

“What time is it?” Adonis asked her.

“Almost 10.”

“Damn, you been here the whole day. We must’ve been knocked out.” Adonis said, laughing a bit.

“That’s what happens when you eat a ton of cake.” Nyla told him as she stood up from the couch finally.

“Where you going?” Adonis asked. He sounded a bit worried that she was leaving. A part of her believed that he wanted her to stay, but then again, she made a lot of shit up in her mind so who knew?

“Can I use the bathroom?” Nyla wondered.

“Oh, yeah. Go head.”

Nyla hurried and did her business. She wanted to leave and go sleep in her own bed, but a part of her wanted to stay and spend more time with Adonis. She wasn’t sure if he was giving the signs that he wanted her to stay as well. Maybe he was just being a good host and making her comfortable. Nyla surely want some stranger staying too long in her own home, but that was the thing. Adonis wasn’t just some stranger. She sounded crazy saying that but it was true. She felt as if she knew him for years now, so she didn’t feel the need to treat him as what he was. Which technically was a stranger.

She walked out of the bathroom, tossing the paper towels she used to dry her hand in the trash as she passed it. “How did you feel so comfortable letting yourself fall asleep around a stranger?” She wondered, leaning against the back of the couch.

“You fell asleep first so ask yourself that.” Adonis told her, shrugging his shoulder.

“I don’t even remember being tired.” Nyla said.

“Even if you didn’t, I like your vibe. It’s trustworthy. I don’t think you’d do anything to harm anyone.” Adonis admitted.

“Awe, well that’s true. I’m glad you can tell that off the bat.” Nyla smiled, slipping her sandals back on quickly.

“You leaving?” Adonis asked.

“Yeah, Adonis. I’ve been here for almost 5 hours.” Nyla told him, scoffing.

“You right. I just thought you’d want to watch another movie or something.” Adonis shrugged.

Nyla smirked as she sat back down next to the man, “You really don’t want me to go, huh?”

“It’s not even like that.” Adonis said, waving his hand. It was totally like that. “We just fell asleep for the first movie so we gotta make up for it.”

“Mhm.” Nyla grinned. “If we’re watching another movie, it’s my turn to pick a movie now.” She said.

“What movie is it?” Adonis asked, leaning back into the sofa.

“Hmm… ooh! I got it.” Nyla chirped, her favorite movie of all time popping into her head. “Hold on, lemme go get it.”

Nyla ignored his questions as she got up and ran out of the apartment as fast as she could. She hissed as her bare feet collided with the cold wood of each of the steps she ran down but she ignored that as she arrived at her destination. She started banging on the door immediately, already knowing that the person she needed at the moment was well awake. It took a few seconds before she finally decided to stop, pressing her ear up against the door to see if she heard footsteps approaching the door. And indeed she did.

“If you’re not bleeding or dying, go back where you came from!”

“It’s an emergency, Bi.” Nyla lied, grinning proudly when it worked and Bianca opened the door immediately. “You still got my Titanic dvd?” She wondered.

“Bitch.” Bianca scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. “It’s on my dresser. That jawn was too long. I gave up on even finishing it.” She said.

“Your attention span for anything other than music is shorter than ever.” Nyla pointed out, brushing past her friend into the apartment.

“It was too boring!” Bianca argued. “How you gonna blame me for that?”

“Whatever.”

Bianca stood in the doorway of her room as Nyla searched for her movie, arms crossed as she noticed how late in the night it was. “How did giving Adonis the cake go?”

“Good. Real good. We’re actually about to watch this right now.” Nyla said, picking up the dvd under Bianca’s pile of records.

“Wait, hold up, you been there all day?” Bianca asked.

“Yes.” Nyla nodded curtly. “Is that a problem?” She asked, turning around to face her best friend.

Bianca shook her head before a grin slowly spread across her face. “Did you fuck him?”

“Bianca!”

“Don’t ‘Bianca’ me, Nyla. Did you sleep with him or not?” Bianca questioned.

“No! I didn’t!”

“Boring!” Bianca sang. “Get out of my apartment.”

“You’re sick in the head.” Nyla scoffed, rolling her eyes as she made her way back to the front door.

“Tell me everything after y’all done fucking. For the 6th time tonight probably.” Bianca told her, snorting at her own joke.

“I hate you so much.” Nyla muttered, walking out into the hallway.

“Love you too!” Bianca exclaimed, slamming her door shut after Nyla was far enough from it.

Nyla hurried back up the stairs, hoping that Adonis didn’t fall asleep on her. When she entered the apartment, she was beaming with excitement as she stared down at the dvd as she walked over to the couch. She could watch Titanic a million times and never get bored of it.

“I found it—“ Nyla raised an eyebrow as she approached Adonis, who was setting up pillows and blankets on the couch. “And what is all this?” She chuckled.

“I just got some pillows and shit incase you got uncomfortable. I don’t want you twisting and turning like I be on this hard ass couch.” Adonis explained, shrugging his shoulders as he tried desperately to hide his blushing cheeks.

“Thank you for the kindness.” Nyla giggled. “Now, you ready to watch the best movie ever made?” She questioned.

“Friday?”

“Close.” Nyla lied, revealing the disk she had behind her back with a wide grin on her face. “Titanic!”

Adonis sighed, but he already knew he wasn’t going to win the argument if started one. So sighed and laid back. “I’m going to die of boredom…”

“No you are not.” Nyla scoffed, sticking the disk inside the dvd player. She was surprised he even had one, but thankfully he did!

“What did you say? I’m already fading away.” Adonis said, making Nyla roll her eyes.

“You’re so dramatic.” Nyla chuckled.

“You like it.”

“Mhm.”

“Why you still over there?” Adonis asked her. “Come sit down.” He said, beckoning her over to the couch. To which she gladly obliged.

“Get comfy.” Nyla told him.

Adonis did that corny yawning move so he could put his arm around her, pulling her into his side as the movie started to play. “I’m comfortable enough being with you—

“Shh! It’s starting!” Nyla hushed, slapping his shoulder so he would shut the hell up.

“Man…”

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for killing the guy my daughter was having an affair with/handling this situation poorly?

Okay, sorry in advance because this is going to be LONG:

I (50M) am a widowed retired army officer of some wealth and nobility living at home with my daughter (24F) and her husband (28M), as well as basically the entire village. (Don’t ask; I’m not going to explain the dynamics because that’s not really important.)

My son-in-law recently went away on a work-related trip for several months. Before he left, one of his friends (27M) came to stay as an extended houseguest, which I was perfectly fine with even though I thought he seemed a bit mysterious and suspicious.

However, said friend quickly became obsessed with my daughter and my daughter got bored without her husband around and long story short, one thing led to another and a little over a week ago I could’ve sworn I heard him escaping her bedroom early in the morning. But yeah, they had an affair. (No, I do not have all the details. This may be important.)

So my son-in-law/her husband got back yesterday (note: also their wedding anniversary) and my daughter felt really bad about it and wanted to write a letter confessing everything to him. However, I walked in in the middle of her writing it and I tore it up and told her that she couldn’t confess what happened because if she did then our family would be disgraced and her husband would be driven to suicide. (Honestly, probably not true especially in light of what’s happened since, but I had to get her to stop somehow. Our reputation is on the line!)

Anyway, more unimportant stuff happened but long story short her husband almost found out about the affair in the middle of the village’s/his coworkers’ homecoming party for him because the other guy was a dumbass, but I challenged him to a duel in the cemetery that night (so: last night). (Oh, also I should mention that I was totally right about him being shady because he’s been claiming to be a count but I did some Investigative Detectiveing TM and it turns out he’s actually a count’s bastard child so he’s a lying liar on top of everything else.)

So we were going to have our duel and I was going to kill him but SIL (that’s son-in-law, right? I’m old and bad at technology) interrupted us and told us we couldn’t duel in the cemetery or at all because that’s a) not very respectful of the dead and b) not very Christian and we have to forgive each other or something. (Important info I forgot earlier: SIL is a Protestant minister.)

So SIL wanted us to shake hands as an act of reconciliation or some shit and I got so mad I blurted out the truth that his wife/my daughter had an affair with this guy. Daughter also showed up and confessed everything and SIL basically lost his mind and tried to kill him but didn’t because one of his clergy coworkers (55M) showed up and talked him out of it.

So more stuff happened and the whole village found out and I briefly contemplated suicide but decided that my original plan of killing this SOB was a better idea and went off to find him.

However, I overheard my SIL talking to my daughter and telling her he wanted a divorce and he wanted her to marry the other guy. Daughter said no because apparently she still loves SIL??? I don’t know, man. But either way, no way in hell I was letting my daughter marry him because he was a horrible person and I hated him, so that doubly motivated me to track him down and kill him.

So I did. And he’s dead now I guess. But…I don’t know. I don’t feel any better. I just feel terrible. I feel like I fucked up immensely. Even though I avenged my honor and rid the world of one more SOB. But I don’t think it really solved anything else. My daughter and SIL are horrified, and honestly, so am I. My only hope of dealing is that the whole church congregation is having a special service to deal with all of this and to decide what to do about my daughter, and I guess me too, but I think she’s the main focus. Maybe that’ll help?

But no matter what happens in that church service, I feel like I have to ask: AITA?

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Imagine: You're Eddie's best friend, and you develop a crush on his uncle, but Eddie thinks that you have a crush on him. (Don't worry, it's purely one-sided. I mean, we've all been there, right? Or is it just me who has a little crush on Wayne?)

You aren't sure how it happened or even why it happened. All of a sudden you started spending more time around him because of your friendship with Eddie. It was so wrong, you knew it, but you couldn't help yourself. You just hoped that Eddie wouldn't hate you. You had to tell him though, he had become your best friend since he joined the party after what happened over spring break and you couldn't keep the truth from him. He always seemed to know when you were lying anyways.

"What's with that face?" Eddie asked. "Was the song really that bad?"

"What? No, it was really good. Who was the song for?" You asked with a grin.

"Who says the song was for anyone?" Eddie asked with a blush.

"Your face for one," you replied.

They were hanging out in his room at the Munson house as Eddie had wanted to borrow your ear for a song he had written. He's had this house for months now but for some reason he still looked out of place and uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he was still getting used to the fact that he was no longer living in a trailer or maybe because it was given to him by the same people responsible for the Upside Down. You wondered if he searches the room for bugs every night before he goes to bed.

"How about we deal with the fact that there's something bothering you? Come on, Teddy!" Eddie exclaimed.

You rolled your eyes at the nickname. He thought it was cute to call you that since his name was Eddie. He had wanted your names to rhyme, but since your names were nowhere close to rhyming, he decided to give you a new one.

"That's not my name!" You said in a sing song voice.

"Don't avoid the question!" He exclaimed, copying your tone.

"Okay! Fine, I'll tell you!" You exclaimed as he put his guitar away and got comfortable on the bed, his legs swinging in the air. "You have to promise not to hate me, okay?"

"Dude, I would never hate you! Not for anything. If you're telling me you murdered somebody then just me where we are going to bury the body," Eddie replied and paused. "You didn't, did you? Because if you did, I am totally throwing you under the bus. I am not getting set up for that shit again."

"Eddie, I didn't fucking kill anyone. Jesus," you said and muttered under your breath. "I have feelings. . ."

"Oooh! You have a crush! Come on, tell Daddy everything!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Ew, never call yourself that again!" You exclaimed and sighed heavily. "I just don't know how this happened!"

"Relax, youngling, this happens to everyone. You are not the exception," Eddie said grinning.

"Stop loving this," you glared at him.

"In the history of our friendship, you have never mentioned being interested in anyone," he replied.

"It's just that I know nothing will ever happen with this person and it came so suddenly, so unexpectedly that I was afraid you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore if you knew."

"Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you anymore?" He asked.

"Because it's someone you know very well," you replied, biting your lip.

"Oh. OH! Oh, no!"

"Yeah."

"Oh, sweetheart, I would never hate you or stop being friends with you for that. I am very flattered and also, very gay. Also, I'm dating Steve. Ugh, he's going to hate me for telling you without him," Eddie said. "Shit, this is awkward. I am sorry, did I lead you on? What did I do? Is it the daddy thing? It's the daddy thing."

"OH, would would you just stop?!" You exclaimed. "I know you're gay. I have since the night you got really drunk and wrote an entire song about Steve’s ass. I mean, I knew you had a crush on him but I didn't know you were dating him. Anyways, the crush isn't on you."

"Oh," he said, sounding a little disappointed and then he scowled. "Is it Steve? Because he's mine, you can't have him. I don't share my food and I don't share my boyfriends. Well, okay, I love you a lot. So, I guess for you I'll share him. You can have him one week out of the month but the rest of the time is mine, okay?"

"Oh, for the love of - it's not Steve either, Edward!" You yelled at him.

"Okay. . .who is it?" Eddie asked, confused now.

You screamed into his pillow and then sat up.

"Your uncle has very pretty eyes!" You blurted.

"My - my uncle?!" Eddie exclaimed, choking on his saliva and then he burst into laughter.

"This isn't funny, Eddie!" You groaned into your hands.

"It's a very funny! You want to be my aunt! You want to give me little blue eyed flannel wearing cousins!" Eddie exclaimed. "You want to share a last name with my uncle!"

"I am never telling you anything ever again," you sighed and rolled your eyes.

"Oh my God, imagine a little tiny trucker hat and a little tiny coffee mug. Of course, as the cousin of your fat little baby I would have to make its own tiny guitar. Maybe write baby's first guitar on the body," Eddie said with a gasp.

"I am NOT having a baby with your uncle," you said, blushing.

"You don't entirely hate the idea, though," Eddie said tilting his head at her and the pursed his lips. "I'm gonna tell him."

"Eddie Munson, you will NOT!" You yelled at him.

The sound of the front door opened, and heavy footsteps could be heard from the hallway. You slapped a hand over his mouth, your eyes wide, and Eddie then proceeded to lick your hand. You yelped and pulled your hand back, glaring. You heard voices coming from the kitchen, and they got closer to Eddie's closed bedroom door. . . There came a knock.

"Eddie, I found your boy wandering around outside, is Teddy also staying for dinner? The more the merrier," Wayne's voice floated from the door and Eddie grinned.

"UNCLE WAYNE! TEDDY WANTS TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!"

"GODDAMNIT, EDDIE, I HATE YOU."

THUMP.

"Good lord," Wayne sighed.

[girlreviews]

Review #113: The Queen is Dead, The Smiths

Morrissey really turned out to be a disappointing and vile piece of shit, and it’s a damn shame. Went from being this quirky, pretentious, off-beat guy that you sort of tolerated because it was funny and the music was so damn good and you could let go of his holier-than-thou shit because you could never really tell if he was being totally serious, and every now and again the internet would gift you with a picture of him with a cat on his head. You were like “OH Morrissey, what are you like?!”, but over the years it got a darker and more insidious until it became abundantly clear that we weren’t dealing with some performance artist who liked to play with irony and push boundaries – we were dealing with a hateful man. The dude supports a political party that is too far right for Nigel Farage. I hand on heart did not know such a thing could exist, which is truly disturbing, but Farage himself described “For Britain” as “made up of Nazi’s and racists”. To be fair, Farage didn’t actually qualify that he thought that was a bad thing, so maybe Morrissey is still in appropriate company with that sorry excuse of a human.

Thankfully, The Smiths isn’t Morrissey, and Morrissey isn’t The Smiths. The other members have distanced themselves and made it clear that they don’t have any tolerance for anything center-right, let alone anything that flirts with fascism. One of my favorite moments in British politics is when then Prime Minister/Head Doofus David Cameron tried to be a cool dude in front of his in-bred private schoolboy cronies and said The Smiths were his favorite band. I assume he was not expecting the pure and utter humiliation of Johnny Marr, founding member and legendary guitarist of The Smiths publicly forbidding him to like The Smith’s music and instructing him to “stop saying you like it, no you don’t”. I believe I laughed for a solid 15 minutes. You can have all the power in the world (or the illusion of it), and someone can still just destroy you like that because you’re a fucking dillhole with no integrity, no spine, no chill and everybody knows it.

Anyway, we’ll get to the record and the songs in a second, but circling back to the time in life before we all had to really accept just how much of a turd Morrissey is, you know, we had this sort of whimsical Eeyore crooner type character that was pretty entertaining, truth be told. I had a friend that used to sing Happy Birthday in the style of Morrissey and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to it every year. There’s a particular delight in singing along and doing your best Morrissey impression or going all in on the “aaaah!” in This Charming Man. We’re grieving that Morrissey. But he’s gone, if he was ever really here. I actually saw him at the Ryman, and there was still some semblance of the witty weirdo that we put up with. He came on stage, took his shirt off, said in his ridiculous voice, “I wuff you!” and launched right into How Soon Is Now? It was pretty great. It really was. But still, fuck that guy, he doesn’t deserve to perform at the Mother Church ever again.

So if I’m being completely honest, I think I’ve gotten to know The Smith’s haphazardly over the years not through their “true” albums. They put out a few compilations that could have fooled me into thinking they were albums (and did), and so I do not believe I ever listened to The Queen is Dead from start to finish until now. It really epitomizes what people mean when they’re like, ugh, The Smiths are so depressing. I’ve never really felt that. I always found them to feel very upbeat, despite the content being undeniably steeped in misery. I always found that very funny and assumed it was intentional. But a lot of these tracks are just straight-up downers (I Know It’s Over, Had No One Ever). It really takes me back to this time, where we had not lived in England too long. We didn’t know anyone yet, and weren’t all that settled – for those of you who have never moved across an ocean to another country, which I’ve now done twice – that shit is hard and it takes so much longer than you realize to feel like you have any sense of belonging or feeling of being home. I knew that even though I was three, because on Sunday we would just aimlessly drive around in my Dad’s company car and try and find a pub that welcomed children (that was not the cultural norm in England in the 90s), and that was even open on Sunday at all. Often we would just end up driving around the countryside or going to a hardware store. This is likely why I associate both Sundays and hardware stores with immense existential dread. I totally knew we were lonely and outcasts as a family unit. It was also so grey and rainy looking out the car window and The Smiths was often the soundtrack. Bleugh.

Bigmouth Strikes Again changes the pace and gets to that upbeat misery that I referred to earlier. A song can get you up and moving even when it suggests that “you should be bludgeoned in your bed”. When I still lived in East London, my friends and I used to frequent this very funny club night, dubbed “Feeling Gloomy”, that was entirely dedicated to dancing your ass off to miserable songs that were catchy as fuck and had a great beat. It was rife with moody 80s serious synth music, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, it was one of my favorite places to go and let it all out. It was my happiest place to be miserable.

Once, after a particularly heavy weekend, I was in my office alone, not getting a lot done because I was… Struggling. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. This wasn’t a glamorous or stable time in my life, and I did my best all told. As mentioned previously, I had some very unsympathetic and problematic upper management that imposed bans on my music habits. One of my three bosses was a half-decent human being and found my antics sort of endearing. He came in that day, and found me in a very sorry state. I was attempting to eat a banana, curled up on the floor, with There Is A Light That Never Goes Out meekly playing from my shitty laptop speakers. He laughed, shut my laptop, made me a cup of tea, and said “listen girlreviews, we’ve talked about this, you can’t listen to The Smiths when you’ve had a big weekend”. We laughed. On a separate note regarding this song. One of my closest, dearest, and oldest friends assigns this song to me, my life, and our relationship with each other:

“Take me out tonight

Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care

I don't care, I don't care

Driving in your car

I never, never want to go home

Because I haven't got one, la-di-dum

Oh, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus

Crashes into us

To die by your side

Is such a heavenly way to die

And if a ten-ton truck

Kills the both of us

To die by your side

Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine”

Make of that what you will. It’s complicated, deep, and beautiful. The strings that accompany these words are complicated, deep, and beautiful as well. I don’t know what it is about this song but it captures a gratitude and a melancholy. Something that is, but also cannot be. It’s very special and I cherish it. I think it’s too easy to get stuck on the morbidity of it without realizing what it’s really saying: I’m so grateful to be here with you in this car. Even in the face of certain death, you make me feel safe. You’re the home I don’t have, and I love you. What a wild thing for two people to share. How fortunate am I to know and love someone like that, and know that they know and love me like that right back.