#so many people have been unfollowing me lately

[electrafart]

Ummmmm vavoom heres a fem aziracrow doodle ! Based off of mr gaiman's post here ! Tbh i just wanted to draw crowley with audrey hepburn hair sssssoooooooo yeah....

[thevioletcaptain]

do fandom people realize that gleefully firing off mean little zingers at the socially accepted online target of the week for clicks is functionally identical to the way high school bullies use cruelty for clout, or do they lack that level of self awareness?

[asmoonlightthroughthepines]

.

[genderqueerdykes]

I’ve been feeling really sad lately bc after this latest rise in anti transmasc sentiment I’ve had to unfollow some trans women I’ve been following for literal years bc they started reblogging and posting really nasty and very uncharitable things abt transmascs on my feed. And like. These are women whose voices I very much respected and listened to, and to hear them basically say they consider me an enemy who can’t be trusted bc I want to talk about my experiences, but all of our issues are really just splash damage from bigotry directed at them and talking abt my own experiences without acknowlefing that it’s not really meant for me is wrong. It’s like. So hurtful. And it makes me feel really hopeless about the future of the trans community.

How do I fight back against that hopelessness?

it really sucks and i'm sorry you're also being affected by this. i hear people talk about this every single day and i really don't like that this is just becoming a default in the trans community in general. it seems like the default mode of most online queers is hating transmascs and trans men as if that will somehow make cishet society accept them more. it's selfish behavior.

i'm an intersex trans woman and it's hard for me to interact with the online transfem and trans woman communities, because we're seeing a new experience in the form of transradfeminism, where trans women proudly adopt the anti-man ideals from rad feminism and spread it like it's the truth. it's a sad and painful thing to say, but these trans women are doing this because they believe rad fems and women who hate men are the only "Real" women and desperately want to be seen as "real" women. it stems from their personal dysphoria rooted in manhood, how they take out their own dysphoria in being seen as men on men and mascs. it comes from a place of pain, and it is misguided. instead of directing their hatred toward transmisogyny, they keep it inside the community. it's vile.

it's really sad but trans women and transfems are not immune to being indoctrinated by rad fems and terfs. applying those ideals to being trans isn't progressive. dictating who is and isn't trans is an act of policing. feeling as though one has the right to sit there and claim to know every trans experience, claiming to be the authority on transness... it's fascism.

i'm just plain tired of hearing people make fun of afab trans people and trans men and to talk about them like they're a blight on the community. im tired of people saying things like "do we really need more men?" i'm really sick and tired of chronically online people saying that trans men "aren't real trans people". this one really pisses me off. implying that trans womanhood and transfemininity are the only "real" ways to be trans is also identity policing. what is "unreal" about trans men? i'm tired of trans men being treated like they're unreliable. i'm tired of people wearing their misogyny on their sleeve to constantly treat trans men like they are not reliable narrators. i'm tired of people thinking somehow the instant you begin identifying as a man, you benefit from patriarchy.

i'm tired that people seriously think trans men and mascs can't coin terms for their own experiences. why the hell not? they happen, just because you don't see them personally doesn't mean they don't happen. i have met and lived with so many transmascs over the years, and we've all shared very similar stories about the discrimination we face. it's not spitting in the face of anyone to coin terms like transandrophobia and antimasculism. they happen just as often as transmisogyny does, and happily participating in it only increases trans violence

these talking points are old and it sucks to see more and more trans women get indoctrinated into literal rad feminism. hating trans men will not make dysphoria around being seen as a man go away. hating trans men does not dismantle the patriarchy. hating afab people isn't progressive, it's misogynistic. hating intersex trans men isn't progressive, it's transphobic -and- intersexist. trans men deserve so much better than this. trans men are trans. trans men are people. trans men are not evil by virtue of existing

i say try to do your best to connect with and appreciate the other trans men and mascs in your life. we have to stick together. if you have transfem friends who are on your side, make sure to be there for them, too. not every trans woman is like this fortunately, most trans women are very chill about trans manhood. this is a vocal minority of people who want to be fascists and want to control and police other trans people. transradfeminism isn't progressive, it's just as bad as regular rad feminism, if not worse, because now there's an even bigger focus on hating trans people.

hating other trans people will never get you ahead in cisheteronormative society. try to take care of yourself as best as you can. really relish trans joy when you experience it. take time to affirm your gender. know that manhood is a blessing. manhood is beautiful. it is varied, nuanced, and complex. it is a wonderful thing to experience. men are not evil. men are not bad. we should never remove the accountability from individuals.

hating trans men makes you transphobic. there's just no other way to it. whether or not you accept that it's called transandrophobia, it is still transphobia, and you really should care. the trans community isn't here for just 1 type of trans person. it's here for all of us. good luck, stay safe out there. be good to yourself

[davidtennan-t]

This is a PSA that I’ve been debating on posting but it’s gone too far now and I can’t stay silent any longer - if you follow me and happen to be somebody who ships David and Michael in real life, to the point where you’re convinced there’s a secret divorce happening behind the scenes and are specifically talking about Georgia Tennant degradingly, kindly unfollow me or block me.

I’ve put up with seeing a few of my posts being reblogged by people within this circle, but I’m sorry to say, as of late, it’s gotten way out of hand.

I’ve seen comments referring to people who are ‘antis’ as stupid, unintelligent people. I’ve seen comments calling people who enjoy David and Georgia’s content as ‘homophobic’ because we can’t ’open our eyes to the bigger picture.’ I’ve read discussions about Georgia Tennant that go to such degrading and doxing lengths that I could easily get the police involved, it’s that bad.

We are not unintelligent or ‘anti’s’ for enjoying the content of a married couple on Instagram. There is no ‘bigger picture’, and I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but there really isn’t. However, it’s not really that side of it that’s been getting to me - I’m all for letting people believe what they want to believe, and ship who they want to ship, but the levels of hatred and degrading discussion within this circle of people has gotten out of hand as of late.

It’s so horrific seeing so many judgemental jokes and comments about Georgia that have recently turned to bullying or even misogynistic. Saying she’s a ‘typical woman’ for ‘using David’, accusing her of bullying him, and then using her content to fuel your fire is just not it.

David, Michael, Anna and Georgia are REAL people. They are not the characters they played on Staged. I understand there’s nothing wrong with speculating and having fun, it’s not a crime, but what is downright disgusting behaviour is discussing people’s personal lives to such an extent that talking about ‘child arrangement matters’ for people, again, YOU DO NOT KNOW PERSONALLY.

Imagine saying all of this to David or Georgia. Imagine asking ‘so which one of you gets to keep the children when you inevitably divorce?’ Please, think about that for a second. It’s just wrong, in my eyes.

I don’t know them personally. I don’t know what could be going on behind the scenes. But I RECOGNISE THAT FACT and take it no further.

Sorry it had to come to this. But I’m done.

[bunnis-monsters]

Seeing some of the rude anonymous comments you get truly reminds me of how much free time/main character syndrome some people have. Like, holy shit, I WISH the biggest problem in my life was "someone I've never met reblogged their own post on Tumblr" or "the monster fucker blog I followed of my own volition is posting too many monsters fucking". And then found it worth their time to express that sentiment instead of quietly curating their own online experience. At some point it's just astounding.

Fr?? It’s been tiring lately, because it’s really easy to just silently unfollow or block me if they’re so annoyed by the way I do things or the works I write.

If there’s a way to make viewing my page more pleasant I’ll try to accommodate but there’s no way in hell people are going demand I do ANYTHING, especially when I post these gifs for free.

“Stop writing this!” Filter out the tag if you don’t like that type of post.

“I don’t like this thing you do.” Damn. That’s tough, you can unfollow me.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I blocked my Zionist

“”friend”” after she gave condolences for my dog?

Content warnings: pet death, Zionism, genocide mentions

Hi. I’ll try to keep this brief and cohesive. So for some background, I (24F) gave this “friend” from middle school, let’s call her E (24F). We were best friends, but she moved away about halfway through our time in high school. She was from Israel, and not being as informed as I am now, I never thought that much of it. When she moved away, we stayed mutuals on social media, but didn’t chat much. She’d hit me up sometimes, usually after months would go by, and we’d chat a bit, but it would normally end with her disappearing again, and we both just went on with our lives.

Between 2021-2023, I ended up losing a lot of people. Falling outs, rifts, drama etc. Needless to say I don’t have many friends rn. So when she hit me up again at the beginning of 2023 and then later that summer (more consistency then usual), I was excited to reconnect with her. Then, Israel began it’s current violence and genocide in Gaza. Since the beginning of the violence, I took the time to learn more (and am still learning) about the injustices inflicted on the Palestinians by Israel for the past 75 years, and have kept up with Palestinian journalists like Motaz and Bisan on the current aggression that’s been taking place for the past 100 DAYS.

Now remember when I said E was Israeli? Yeaaa, and I brutally reminded of that. She was eating up and regurgitating the lies from Israel on her Instagram stories, blaming Hamas for everything etc. Meanwhile the rest of my feed was of horrific on the ground footage of innocent Palestinians being slaughtered simply for being Palestinian and for living on their land. I believe in the cause for a Free Palestine and an end to the Israeli occupation, and I resolved that a Zionist is not who I want to be friends with, and that I would unfollow E and cut contact.

But this is where I fucked up and am an AH - I stalled. I just restricted her and kept telling myself “I’ll get to it.” I’ll admit the nostalgia of our bond we used to have got the better of me, and I was taking my time cutting the contact cuz I was upset that I have to cut my losses with a connection AGAIN. So I stalled. And kept stalling.

Now this past weekend, my dog passed away. I posted a memorial post to my Instagram, and saw E commented her condolences. Which was nice, but I feel icky taking the sympathy from a Zionist, from someone who does not have sympathy for the lives of the innocent Palestinian men, women, and children being lost in Gaza. And most likely never will.

Since she’s restricted, I don’t think her comment is public. And I don’t want to accept it. Accepting it and responding would call all my support for the Palestinian cause into question. Hell, the fact that I stalled unfollowing her so long calls it into question already, I know that. But I also can’t ignore her forever.

So now comes the time to do what I should of done months ago. I have to unfollow her and block her. But a part of me still feels bad doing after she had sweet things to say about my late pet. I KNOW I’m already the AH for not unfollowing her already, but my query is, WIBTA to do so now after she offered her condolences, and to block her on top of that?

What are these acronyms?

[iliothermia]

dont mean this in any disrespectful way when you posted that i did go through your account and saw you had posted about gaza back in oct 13, i think in the current climate where so many zionist weaponize anti-semitism to silence people trying to stop the genocide i was also worried when you posted that and had seen no posts about palestine on your twt i did go down farther and saw that that was not the case and its just not easily apparent i do feel like you are aware of this though and it feels a little exploitative to post that knowing people would be sensitive to the language you used and your lack of public sentiment around palestine and unfollow you thinking you were a zionist i dont think your a zionist but your immediate outrage at people unfollowing you for that post is ignoring the context in which your posting in. please remember people are dying before our eyes everyday from people who use the language of anti-semitism to fuel that death i implore that you act with compassion towards people and not bad intentions

(for reference to others, this is about this post I then shared on my twitter as well.) Me commenting about people unfollowing me for sharing support for my community is not outrage, it's an observation on how I can't support fellow Jews without it being connected to Zionism. I said a very positive message to support others who have been dealing with things IN DIASPORA like I have and get messages like yours and this.

It is not exploitative for me to express love for MY COMMUNITY (NOT ISRAEL) after experiencing multiple actually antisemitic incidents IRL recently and saying the words I needed to hear for others. I need to hear that people care. My synagogue got bomb threats and I've been called a kike and harassed in real life multiple times. I didn't even post about most of the stuff I've dealt with to be sensitive to others and the online environment lately. Yet here I am being called exploitative and that I should be more sensitive to others for supporting my community. I have never once called anyone on here or anywhere else an antisemite or weaponized antisemitism so please don't project on me.

[shieldofiron]

When I first joined this fandom in late 2022, I had some traction with some stories. And some people reached out to see if I wanted to join a discord server that was owned by a person who at the time had over 1000 followers and posted quite frequently. She was popular, though she presented herself as much more popular than she was. Let’s call her Z.

I did not connect with everyone there, in fact I was uncomfortable for reasons I will go into in a moment, but there were some people I really did connect with, and I stayed to be close to them. And then one day, my closest friend there was kicked out of the space with little to no explanation. He begged the mods and Z, formerly his close friends, and was blocked. I combed the server, but I couldn’t find anything that he did that in my opinion was worth kicking him out. Then he began losing followers and receiving many hurtful and upsetting anons on his tumblr. Angry, because I suspected they had something to do with it, I stopped posting in there and later left. I was disgusted that this was going on and they were acting to my face like it wasn’t, and still sucking up to me about my stories. He said he was worried about me believing him, believing that whatever he did, he didn’t understand what it was. But having witnessed Z’s behavior in her server I had no problem believing it was her and her friends.

Z used to find fanfiction or art of ships that she didn’t like, and @ everyone in the server to come look at it, despite knowing it was extremely distressing for some members. If you protested that you had no issue with these ships in fiction but that maybe you didn’t want to see that on a Tuesday at work in the general chat, Z and her closest friends would harass you (me) to say that it was bad, and evil. She often called for people to unfollow these artists, or block users who she had found and showed to us without any participation on our part. Despite this she frequently became interested in dead dove subject matter, but it was always ok when she did it. Boundaries did not exist to her, except for the boundaries of her taste and how she thought the world should be. Z would routinely make jokes about sensitive subjects like trans rights, and let's just say it felt like it wasn’t her place. But don’t worry, Z would say, I have friends who are [joke she had made] [from country she had insulted] so it’s fine. There’s only so many times you can hear a joke like that and not wonder why it’s being made over and over. If you were offended, everything was a joke, or there was something you didn’t understand.

This server was a deeply uncomfortable space. Many times I felt harassed over my politics, over my opinions in fiction, and it was often easier to just swallow this. When I met my friends there, they showed courage standing up for themselves and I am so glad that I found them. With them, my experiences of this fandom lightened enormously. Z and her friends had made me so paralyzed, paranoid and unhappy. I had been afraid to even talk about my race however tangentially. I was afraid to make posts against anti behavior, because they had so twisted the way I thought the Billy fandom would perceive them. Thankfully I do not think that the majority of the fandom agrees with her views.

Z apparently has been presenting harassing my friend as a misunderstanding. Perhaps the misunderstanding is that she thinks any of this is harmless. Misunderstandings can be overcome, discussed, apologized for. If someone is confused, you can explain, you can be civil. There was no discussion.

Z made no effort, except to further talk about him and others behind their backs. She never reached out to clear anything up at any time. Her excuses when she made them were frankly shocking. And she never explained to me why my friend was so dangerous, but hid behind fake apologies and more popular friends, lying to my face like things were all good. My friend made a post when he felt safe with her username and the username of another person who harassed him. My friends that I kept from that server are the bravest people I know who understand that reputation means nothing if you can’t look at your own actions with conviction. And Z went away for a time.

Until I earlier this year, I was invited to a very large Billy server. Immediately I was confused by a user I had seemingly never seen before who had me blocked. It was Z, with a new name. She had me blocked until she saw me interacting positively with a very popular artist. Then I somehow became unblocked. Which was very interesting. I came to find that she was very close friends with them or tried to be. She appeared to be very close with the owner of the server too.

I was obviously wary but who knows. People can change. I really believe that. Unfortunately I do not believe that she has changed yet.

All of her old behavior was back as was my paranoia and fear. And it appeared that, emboldened by her friendship with the owner of the server and others, she felt safe going even further. Here was finally what she had craved, a large platform and popularity to continue her previous behavior. I later came to find out that the owner of the server had her own issues with bullying others, twisting the truth, and other, much more serious things. They showed the same character that Z always did, sweet to my face and sour behind everyone’s back. Yet again people said that they worried they wouldn’t be believed. They were afraid of the fandom famous people who were their friends.

Perhaps it’s just me, but if I had been called out in the past for bullying a trans person online I would distance myself from any appearance of transphobia or bullying or lying. Not Z. She in fact announced that she would bully the mods and “everyone” in the server when people joined. I am not paraphrasing, she said he was a bully so often that it was almost comical. She openly said she was an anti when someone confronted her over AGAIN trying to publicly shame authors and create mass unfollowing campaigns. There were no or minimal consequences for this. She would casually bring up the same old jokes and dogwhistles that she used to, uglier with time, and to me pathetically stripped of anything that could have excuse them.

Nobody told me these things. I saw it with my own eyes. But still, somehow, she was the hero, the popular beloved person in every story. I was afraid because she had very powerful friends. Or at least she pretended she did. Because she was friends with a server owner who hurt people I cared about. I am still afraid now. But I’d rather do it afraid for my friends than watch this happen.

I would give up every stupid note on every stupid meme if it meant trans people, and all vulnerable people, felt safe in fandom spaces. I am tired of dishonest communication and trying to play some stupid game I never fucking cared about. If some popular person wants to crush me like a grape for believing my friends, they can go ahead and do it already.

Everybody wants to be liked, everybody wants to be believed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But I’m done waiting for people to believe me or like me. I’m done waiting for people to wake up and take a look in the mirror. To explain and to deign themselves to listen. I believe in my friends. I believe my eyes, and I believe in my own convictions. That’s enough for me.

I believe people can change. I hope they do. But I hope they do away from vulnerable people who they can hurt carelessly.

I’m not blocking you. Clean up your own mess.

[creekfiend]

Hey, do you have family in Israel? Do you know whether they are alright?

sure, I do. in my experience most American Jews have family in Israel. When my family left their village in what is now Belarus, half of those leaving came to the US and half went to Palestine. (and those who remained were killed and that village does not exist anymore) I am not in close contact with the Israeli side but I expect I would have heard something if any of them had been hurt. Josh has much closer Israeli family as his brother Yoav and nieces/nephews all live there but they are also fine to my knowledge.

I appreciate the check in, but I will be perfectly honest with you that while it hurts my heart immensely that so many Israeli civilians have been killed, right now I am primarily concerned about the millions of people in Gaza without electricity or running water who have been ordered to evacuate or get exploded but who have nowhere to go. I am very, VERY concerned about the statements being made by the garbage fascists in control of the Israeli government right now openly stating their genocidal intentions on a scale that we haven't previously seen.

we are all triggered and traumatized as hell about everything, and by we I mean Jews, and I think it's understandable for us to feel that way. but I also am struggling a lot with the degree to which many of my fellow American Jews are making this ABOUT our big feelings of fear and anxiety. I understand that anticipating things becoming More Dangerous is something all Jews have had to do constantly forever. I understand that "position of relative privilege" is something that's extremely conditional for Jews and something that can be taken away at the drop of a hat. but... I don't know. I've been trying to think of anything coherent or helpful in any way to say for the past several days and coming up short. it's a nightmare. But it would be disingenuous to deny that it's a nightmare for me in ways that are removed pretty significantly from the ways in which it is a nightmare for other people.

my family is fine. I understand and empathize with the sentiments of "but what if my family becomes NOT fine?" especially when this is the largest mass killing of Jewish civilians since... well. and I am also enraged and terrified by the comfort with which many leftist gentiles seem to be practically celebrating those deaths. but I'm really preoccupied by the fact that millions of people and their families in Gaza are Not Fine in a huge and terrible way right now as we speak. this is not to say that it is a contest, but if I am doing triage, it is very clear to me whose leg is more broken right now. While acknowledging, again, that we are in a scary place globally regarding antisemitism.

Angry Jew on fb has been posting a lot of stuff that really speaks to how I am feeling right now. devastated by the horrible ways some of my people have been killed, and devastated also that inexcusable violence is being done, essentially, in my name. I hate to talk about this publicly because I also fucking wish American gentiles would kind of shut up about it a lot of the time, to be honest. and I hate feeling like I am giving anyone ammunition in their weird ideological internet fights about having The More Correct Opinion in the hypothetical trolley problem-ass situation that so many of them act like this is. the refusal to learn about any specifics of the situation in favor of just deciding it must be exactly like some other unrelated geopolitical issue that they feel they have a better handle on, and then just... overwriting the reality of the situation so that it matches up with what they are comfortable imagining in their heads. I have had to unfollow and block a lot of people lately.

I mostly talk to my safe Jewish and Muslim friends about this. and select few safe non-muslim gentiles.

Right now I am grieving for many reasons. Since you asked me about my personal connection I will tell you the main things I remember learning and feeling about this growing up. I've never been to Israel. Not close enough to my family there to visit, although my dad did, & never comfortable with programs like Birthright. I remember in the 90s my dad, who was an administrator at the school of Public Health at the local university, was helping put together programs that would bring Israeli and Palestinian universities and public health groups together to work on universal public health issues like helping ppl stop smoking, vaccination, etc. it was going really well at the time. he was going over there a few times a year to coordinate with the people running the programs there. he was really optimistic about it, & several other similar programs. this was back when Yasser Arafat and Yitzak Rabin/Shimon Peres were having a lot of talks that were seemingly productive and hopeful. like obviously it was hardly a golden age but it seemed like maybe Israel was moving away from violence. and then 9/11 happened and everything exploded and all the little programs simply disappeared and my dad never went back to work with anyone. and then fucjing... Netanyahu. and it seems like since then everything only gets worse and worse and further and further from anything other than horrible violence, and that devastates me

In high school I took a Mideast Civ class and one of my fellow students was a kid whose parents had been expelled from Palestine during the war and fled to America. what I remember being struck by when he talked about this was how his family's story was so similar to my family's story and a deep sense of shame and anger that people who had undergone what my family had could then make his family undergo the same thing. That's still a pretty big part of how I feel. I don't accept that that kid's experience was necessary to keep me or my family safe.

I'm just a guy. I try my best to learn as much as I can and listen to a large variety of people connected to this so I can have a more holistic view of things. I'm not making this post rebloggable for obvious reasons but since it's here on my blog, for anyone reading who is also feeling despair, here's some organizations that are good to follow & support if you are able (non-exhaustive obviously)

synagoguesrising.org Synagogues Rising is a coalition of leftist synagogues in the US who advocate for Palestinian liberation and who are currently begging the US government to work to deescalate military violence and provide humanitarian aid to people in Gaza

refuser.org Refusers Solidarity Network is a group advocating for Israelis who refuse to serve in the military as conscientious objectors

map.org.uk Medical Aid for Palestinians living under occupation & as refugees

Genuinely, thanks for asking about my family. if you also have family in the area, I hope they are also alright.

I want everyone to be alright. I know this is a lot of big baby feelings and no particular political ideologies or solutions and that's because I'm just one fucking Jew and I'm not an activist or a revolutionary and I kind of feel a bit like other online people could stand to admit more often that they're also just some guy and also not activists or revolutionaries. I sure have beliefs and I sure feel strongly about them, but man, right now I just want to express grief & anger & worry about how awful this government is and how many people they're going to kill and how much I wish it was not happening

my family is Ok.

eta: I'm reading this back and realizing that as a response to this ask it makes it sound like I'm saying that inquiring about the well-being of someone's Israeli relatives is like, inherently devaluing the well-being of other ppl and I very much am not saying that and do not believe that. I'm just enormously emotionally dysregulated and this got me kind of stream of consciousness about all of the things I have been chasing around in my brain about this.

[minimomoe]

respectfully how are you going to delete somebodies comments and act like you won an arguement

i noticed all the comments from the other person are now gone, which means nobody can read them at all and it isnt fair for you to just say things and not even let others see what they had said. unfortunately i think im going to be unfollowing you because i cannot support someone who acts like that. not allowing others to speak is censoring their freedom of speach and their opinion. youre a good writer but i simply cannot agree with what youre doing.

i can’t say that i’m sad to see you go because you did send this anonymously, but i can say that this person has been annoying me all day and i have the right to block people when they said they don’t like reading fics with “x black readers” when that is my whole entire brand. i did us both a favor by blocking them so that they don’t have to see my works that should’ve been blocked in the first place. ik you’re probably late to the party so you’re only seeing my responses, but they did get the chance to respond and we didn’t see eye to eye. this isn't about "winning", I simply responded to their request and they kept on pushing.

I post pictures under the cut of the things I commented back on. I wish I could say I don't care but this is my personality we are talking about. I always let people explain themselves, but it doesn't mean I have to agree.

*also to add, tumblr hid all their responses when I blocked them. You have no idea how many racist shit i get and I just delete and block quietly. today was just the wrong day to mess with me

[sgiandubh]

Hi!

Fitness Anon here…

On Friday S posted the „Hotel Highball“ video which was obviously recorded in Scotland, not in the US. 

So now „Miss I know it all“ aka Marple rushed to readjust her guessing game and sources about S’s whereabouts. Until the occurrence of this video she claimed he was still in L.A., but now she tells her audience he is back since Thursday… . Because she knows and has proof and facts. Sure? 🤔 It took only a video posted by the „ King of latergrams“ to doubt her own predictions? Is she so easy to unsettle? 

Hopefully right now these are better sources than the ones she claimed to have to indicate what S was up to this weekend and why he couldn’t attend the Con in Birmingham weeks ago. 

But she always keeps it vague so that she can adjust depending on the actual outcome so that it fits into her made-up storyline. 

So, grab your 🍿 and wait what’s up in her  crystal ball next. Perhaps she will also find answers there to the still unresolved question of his IG unfollows and his hair length in order to be able to place the recording of his latest booze video more precisely in time.

Dear, poor (returning) Fitness Anon,

You must have the patience of an angel and put up with me being awfully, rudely late, here. However, and one more time: all of the above, and then some more.

Key quote being: 'But she always keeps it vague so that she can adjust depending on the actual outcome so that it fits into her made-up storyline.'

The beauty of your submission is shining through, here. You sent this to me a week ago (and I do humbly apologize, it's been crazy and yes, life-changing, down here) and yet nothing fundamentally changed, on that page. Same old, same old, not even different. BS presented as factoids, calumny and libel (different things, but they cover it all) towards people that are perceived as personal foes. In my book, to despise someone is to ignore someone, not to actively ill wish on them. Yet the person (a he? a she? doubt is allowed) never got that memo and keeps on victimizing themselves.

At the end of the day, that page reads like an umpteenth season of The Young and The Restless: you can miss I don't know how many episodes, you'll always find your way back to a stalling script.

So, dear Fitness Anon, cue in another round of obsessive talking in circles about S, mendacity on top (Ashley Anon was evidence enough of that and I have to say I was a bit surprised). This, and copying even my mannerisms - hence my complete disdain.

PS: Despina Vandi Anon, you have been waiting for a very long time and I hope you could forgive me for that. This week's audio will be for you. But now, onwards to some cookery. I always found it supremely relaxing for the brain.

[broodwolf221]

my message to new/returning fans

as da4 approaches and the fandom changes, gaining both new and returning users, i want to state very clearly:

share your thoughts! it doesn't have to be "original" to be valuable! no more than it needs to conform to current fanon! you don't need to read everyone else's theories in order to state your own

I'm familiar with that pressure and how much it can dampen the urge to share, to actually engage with the broader fandom. even though i was there at the start of dai's fandom, i fell out of it for years and came back recently, and there was a definite undercurrent of pressure to a) conform to the theories already stated, especially by big name fans, and b) to only ever post a truly original theory

the former inherently limits fandom and treats it more like an academic field that one needs to be familiar with before stating anything; the latter is fundamentally ridiculous, since we're all engaging with the same source material and have the ability to perceive foreshadowing and explore what it means. the first person to perceive and write about a bit of foreshadowing has no more fundamental "right" to that perspective than the hundredth

it can also be hard to wade through the tags of a fandom that's been out for a decade+, especially if you like a character or ship that gets a lot of hate. that's exhausting and no one is obligated to do that research

you're not too late to the fandom to have theories, to post meta, or to express your feelings. those of us currently in the fandom would do well to remember that new people will be joining us and they likely won't even know the bloggers who have already posted meta, so seeing someone ask if xyz has ever been considered should be treated as a valid question. seeing someone say they've never seen ppl talking about xyz should be viewed as an invitation to (gently!) point to some people who have talked about it. "oh, if you're into this idea, you might like [username's] meta"

i think it's valuable to draw attention to the fact that a long-established fandom has been getting new blood throughout the whole time it's been here, and will be getting considerably more new blood soon, and that it might be worth adapting to that early. because regardless of any established fan's preferences, we are going to be getting new fans unfamiliar with established theories/fanon. and no one should be beholden to fanon anyway

but all this is to also say - new fandom members? i see you. I'm here for you. if you want to know what's been said, you can ask me and i will direct you as best i can; if you want to come up with stuff on your own, i support that. i will never come onto your posts to "disprove" your theory or to claim it's unoriginal

also, know that when you see vent posts where people are feeling annoyed about fans or complaining about them, they are almost certainly talking about fans who are engaging in discourse, are argumentative, or are otherwise being kinda shitty. i know - from personal experience! - how easy it is to take a vague vent post personally, especially when the kind of behavior they're actually annoyed by isn't clarified, but it's unlikely to be directed at fans who are engaging with curiosity and excitement. being new to a fandom is intimidating and as someone who's trying to be respectful, it can be so easy to internalize messages from people's venting, but fr, it's rarely about new fans and their conclusions. that said, if those posts bother you… unfollow! or block! blocking is not a mean or cruel action

find your niche, curate your experience, and you will definitely find people who support you. I've really enjoyed my time here and met many people i care about and respect, but it was a bit of an uphill struggle early on and i know a message like this from an established voice in fandom would have helped ease my own concerns coming into this space

[fireladybuckley]

Antis have completely ruined fandom enjoyment for me. ALL antis. I don’t give a fuck what you ship and nor should anyone else, but why the nastiness? Why the bullying and callouts and snide comments and generalizations? “Buddies” this and “Bucktommys” that, being crappy to people who ship something other than what you do simply because they ship something else… it’s so fucking immature and juvenile. I’ve seen countless people be harassed simply for posting excitement about their ship, or posting a fic or edit.

You are not required to like every ship. In fact you are freely allowed to hate whatever ships you want to hate. You don’t have to understand why someone likes a ship they do (there are certainly ones out there that make me scratch my head or squick me out). But taking your hate for a ship out on the people who ship it isn’t okay. This is the most toxic I’ve seen a fandom get in a very long time, and I was around for the entirety of the SuperWhoLock dominance, and the rise of the Twilight and HP fandoms (yes, I’m old.)

I ship Buddie, I always have and I always will. But I don’t mind BuckTommy. And that’s okay. It’s also okay if you love BuckTommy and ship them instead of Buddie. It’s also okay if you love Buddie and hate BuckTommy. Any of these combinations are okay, literally no one is required to like what other people do. Changing a ship you like is not some moral act, I’ve seen quite a few Buddie shippers acting like those who “jumped ship” and like BuckTommy now have committed some cardinal sin. It’s a tv show. It’s a story. People are allowed to like whoever and whatever they want for whatever reason they want, they haven’t done anything wrong, even if you feel betrayed somehow.

Stop being an asshole about it for fucks sake. Making fun of and mocking other people in the ways that I’ve seen lately is grade school bully bullshit. Why are some of you going so out of your way just to antagonize people? Why can you not just ship what you want to ship and ignore the ships you don’t like? I’m saying this to ALL of you who are doing this, regardless of what you ship. Why tag post a gifset of Buddie and tag it anti-bucktommy? Why post a fanfic of BuckTommy and tag it anti-Buddie? You can just tag it as what the ship is in the story/edit/whatever, why go out of your way to alienate the other “side” or make multishippers feel unwelcome?

You are seriously driving wedges of negativity and toxicity through the fandom. I’ve chatted with a lot of people lately who have said fandom drama is at least partially preventing them from feeling comfortable posting, ruining their drive to make gifsets, art, or write, because they don’t want to deal with inevitable “discourse”. A couple people I’ve talked to said (or I’ve seen posts saying) that they feel like they’re being forced to pick a side, and that some of their mutuals have suddenly started becoming nasty to others and it’s just really putting them off. I myself have unfollowed the majority of 911 blogs that I used to because it is just too tedious and frankly irritating to wade through all this crap. It feels like there are now two distinct sides to the fandom and it’s just ridiculous.

Maybe I’m just too old for this shit at this point, but I’m really disappointed to see the fandom take such a nasty turn. There’s obviously been arguments and bickering here and there from the beginning, but I’ve been in this fandom for ~5 years now and I’ve never seen anything this bad before. The general level of nastiness is too damn high. You don’t like Tommy? That’s fine. But why the fuck are so many people acting like he’s a pedo and saying horrific things about him just because they don’t like the character? Why are people acting like he’s grooming or taking advantage of a grown man who is perfectly capable of taking care of himself? On the other side, you don’t like Eddie? That’s fine. But why do people act like Eddie is the most terrible father in the world (when it’s been shown time and time again that Eddie would do anything for his kid) and that Buck should just take Chris and raise him? Why do so many of you spend SO much time shitting on the one character or ship you hate when you could be focused on loving the characters or ships that you love?

And that’s not even touching the subject of people harassing the actual actors, that just disgusts me so much I’m not even going to talk about it besides condemning it entirely. Leave the actors alone, they don’t write the story, they’re just doing their jobs. Leave. Them. Alone.

Anyway I’m sure this will fall on deaf ears, if it even gets seen at all. But I have felt out of place in this fandom for a while now due to the cliqueyness that developed over time, and now more than ever the fandom feels incredibly unwelcome to anyone who just wants to enjoy the show and post and take part in positive things and not get bogged down in the shipping war negativity spiral. I have so many half-written fics that I just don’t have the motivation to finish anymore with so many people just full-on boycotting anyone who ships one thing or the other. This all just makes me both really angry and really sad. I used to love jumping on tumblr and skimming through the posts, getting excited for the next episode, seeing the newest art and fics. Nowadays I hardly come on, and when I do, even though I’ve unfollowed so many discourse blogs, I STILL see the drama.

I still love the show. I love the firefam, I love all the progress they’ve made. The fandom used to give me a warm glow inside. Now I practically feel dread when I login and hope that I’m not going to see yet another big blowup between the two “sides”.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I don’t know what the solution is either, besides just hoping that people will drop their petty bs and start being nice, but somehow I doubt that will happen. Just please remember, people, that the others you see on your screen do have real, actual humans behind their URLs. That the nasty things that you hurl at each other affect real people’s emotions and mental well-being. Too many people that are chronically online forget that words have consequences, even when it’s “just” fandom stuff.

Especially right now when the world is getting worse and no one has money or even hope, can’t we please just be kind to each other? I long for the days when a fandom space was more or less for joining together and enjoying the media at hand, not bitterly fighting at every turn. Please just be kind to each other. Is that really too much to ask?

[finickyfelix]

I have returned in time for the new year, hello.

I successfully completed my December goal of writing at least 100 words every day, which does not sound like a lot, but this is the first time in several years that I was able to achieve a monthly writing goal I set for myself, so it's a big deal for me. It also ensured I wrote every day, which I was very bad about not doing before.

Here's the total of how much I wrote last month:

Faded Daisy: 6,207 words

untitled other story: 992 words

Snakeskin and Snakeskin: Bonus Content: edits that I did not count the word counts of.

Considering the fact that my minimum goal amounted to 3,100 words, I think I did pretty well. In fact, I wrote more than I had in several months, probably because I wrote daily.

Upcoming plans:

- The next (and last) AO3 work I'm going to repost to Tumblr is Some Company for the Evening, which I have been reluctant to read through to see if there's anything I want to edit because it feels too weird to read lol. It doesn't feel like my writing although it obviously is. It's too wholesome. I've been writing too much terrible stuff lately that wholesome romance feels alien and bizarre. I'll have to look at it at some point soon though.

- I am not in fact going to abandon Faded Daisy obviously although I did talk about considering it. I was too mentally unstable to be making any decisions about anything at the time. I feel slightly better now and I know that abandoning it is absolutely not an option and is the last thing I actually want to do. My niche horror novel(la?) deserves to exist even if writing it is hard and unenjoyable a lot of the time. I will never abandon it no matter how much I want to. In fact, my only solid writing goal for this year is to finish Faded Daisy.

- In two weeks it will be my birthday, so I need get started on drawing my top five current favorite Princesses from Slay the Princess because I plan on posting that on my birthday (all five in one drawing.) Since it will probably take about two weeks to draw them all in a way I am happy with. I'm going to say which ones I will draw below the cut so people can judge my taste in Princesses in advance and decide if they want to unfollow me for having bad Princess opinions (/joke)

My current five favorite Princesses (although of course I also love many others) are the Wounded Wild, the Cage*, Happily Ever After*, the Spectre, and the Adversary, so those are the ones I'm going to draw and post on my birthday. I am overly excited about this.

*= Pristine Cut exclusive

[not-terezi-pyrope]

unfollowing but I just thought you might want to know that the second largest Palestinian resistance group (pflp) specifically requested a boycott of the Democrats and Republicans in this election. I won't tell you who to vote for or what was correct or whatever but I do think it's worth understanding that the people themselves who are facing genocide right now and for the past year (+way longer if you count the time following the nakba) disagree with the lesser evil rhetoric, and people following that aren't doing it out of some moralistic condemnation but rather an attempt at resistance and solidarity

I have heard plenty of Arab American and Palestinian voices going the other way, too. Cultural and ethnic groups aren't a monolith.

But regardless, I have spent most of the last six months whenever this has come up asking people to please articulate what causative benefit this kind of action was supposed to have, and so far nobody has given me an answer. Give me a good one and I'll absolutely change my mind! But instead I just keep getting anons scolding me for not standing in solidarity and when I ask "what this is meant to achieve" and "how is this better than boycotting the primaries and speaking out against the Dem's rhetoric while voting blue anyway to minimize harm" and so far nobody has been able to give me a straight answer.

The closest I've got so far is that this is either an accelerationist tactic to take down the United States (very silly), or that slapping down Harris will force the Democrats into loading a better platform on Gaza in 2028, which seems extremely unlikely (even if it weren't five years too late) as, as people keep reminding me, this issue is far from the main reason why she lost. It seems far more likely that they will try to appeal more to the right by throwing their weight further behind Israel. Or, thirdly, some people told me that this was a bluff, but seeing as many people followed through on it it seems that it really wasn't.

Go ahead and unfollow me, though. I guess I also need to be boycotted now. This is so depressing.