#so like...fuck me for existing i guess???

[elliespectacular]

Don't much care for the whole "I will no longer do this Normal Thing if I suspect someone watching me might have a fetish for it." like, y'all this is why people are censoring their damn feet in otherwise-innocuous photos.

Hate to break it to you but everything is a fetish. Drinking water? Fetish. Eating? Fetish. Sneezing? Fetish. Clearing your throat? Fetish. Burping, farting, pissing, shitting, walking, sitting, standing, having your mouth visible when you talk, making certain mouth sounds, your accent (yes yours), your skin color (yes yours), makeup, lack-of-makeup, smelling bad, smelling good, smelling neutral, hair, lips, noses, eyes, ears, chins, shoulders, necks, armpits, elbows, fingers, chests, stomachs, backs, hips, thighs, knees, knee pits, ankles, toes, soles - all fetishes. Like it or not someone somewhere will Perceive You and they will Like What They See.

And they will be silent and normal about it because guess what? Fetishes are normal and most people know how to conduct themselves around others tactfully. We only ever find out about specific fetishes as they relate to us in particular when someone is choosing to be decidedly Not Normal about it, so we assume everyone who has those fetishes is a tactless weirdo. Rookie mistake. I guarantee some of your friends have fetishes for innocuous non-sexual things too, and it doesn't make them some kind of pervert creep.

So please for fucks sake live your damn life. Don't contort your entire existence around the fear of the possibility that you might maybe possibly inadvertently turn someone on a little sometimes. This too is a fetish.

[wakeup01]

Hold your head still, I’m about to make a perfect seat out of your dopey face. Haha. That surprised expression is picturesque, I think I’ll keep it ‘framed’ just like that once you’re a fully frozen statue. That way, every time I sit on you, pushing your nose between my crack, I can remember the precise moment where you became a basic inanimate piece of furniture. A centrepiece of the room. Your final human act before my huge cheeks became your entire existence and purpose. Eyes stuck staring at my tight arse. Cock forever frozen at the exact moment of climax.

Enough chatter though.

Aaaa, and down I go. Lush…super comfy. Yes, go ahead and squirm, it makes the experience so much more fun. For me at least. Can you feel your body stiffen? Forever posed in that humiliating position. Knees fusing together, the colour draining from your skin. Let it happen, let it consume you from head to toe. Sniff my butt and become a stupid fucking statue.

Fuck, your shiny cold exterior feels so good against my hole.

Huh…guess that’s it then. Wow, you were so quick to surrender your free will. Giving up everything to me. Hell, you barely even struggled…seat. A seat for my sweaty ass. Hope you like rimming, idiot.

[boxheadpaint]

love artist impressions based on data of exoplanets but for some reason absolutely thrilled by the Shittiest Actual Photographs we have of them. the obvious thing is that unlike stars, exoplanets are 1)small and 2)not usually emitting any strong visible light. this makes them near impossible to get a clear photo of and every image you see of a fully defined sphere with colors or clouds is entirely from the mind of an artist based on the available data and conclusions of said data of that particular insterstellar piece of Thing. every photograph of the real physical object is always Very small and ... doesn't tell you much because the planet itself only takes up maybe 3% of the image

if i had to take a guess, to get any visual on them you need them to be reflecting the light of their nearby star At An Angle Facing The Camera, and slash or giving off their own infrared light, and even then theyre still So Small that they show up as just little glowing jellybeans

when it comes to Different Kinds Of Stuff In Space just being able to barely see these things that we know exist makes me bizarrely nervous and delighted, not for the fear of like oh aliens are gonna fucking get me or anything but i think for just being aware of something unfathomable far out of our reach. like an ant suddenly realizing that its living on a massive globe larger than anything its ever understood and on the other side of that globe is like, a dilapidated barn or something else seemingly inane in the grand scheme of things and the ant has to sit and think about what that barn is like for the thrill i suppose

[nerves-nebula]

this gonna be a bitchy post lacking in nuance but who cares. im annoyed.

child predators and abusers will use literally whatever is most effective to groom someone, that's kind of the whole fuckin point. pointing out that they can use certain media to groom kids is like pointing out that you can drink liquids. like yea you sure can. you can groom a kid through their interest in sesame street. you can groom a kid with adventure time. you can twist even the most harmless story book with a Nice Upstanding Moral at the end into whatever you want.

when i was in high school I basically fell in love with any teacher that gave me food cuz i was fucking starving and that's a way more effective way to gain my trust than like, idk, sketchy fandom porn. (which i also loved as a kid/teen but I never really talked to people online or in person about it cuz i didnt wanna get adults in trouble!) and if someone online was weird to me back then i just ghosted them cuz i didn't have to exist in meat space with them if they made me uncomfortable.

anyway back to my point: should we ban granola bars cuz they were a way to fast-track the trust of food insecure kids? the way some of y'all talk about abuse, and grooming in specific is so frustrating, like, what are you fuckin talking about. grooming is a series of actions a person chooses to take to get what they want, it's manipulation, what they use to groom people with is entirely situational and moreover irrelevant.

should we all just sit in 5 x 5 cubes and paint neutral faces on a canvas till we die or should we try to have systems in place to prevent adults from gaining so much control over kids just by being kind of nice to them. and that's not even getting into how censorship literally never works the way you might want it to. it's impossible to create censorship that isn't inherently bigoted and useless because the only people with the power to properly censor are the people with the most power in general. and they do not like the rest of us. and they are also often on the side of abusers, if not abusers themselves!

yall will gives thousands of notes to posts that basically say they want the haze code back cuz you're too dumb and reactionary to think about fucking anything other than "child abuse bad so i guess i agree." then go patting yourselves on the back without having helped a single child.

yall love to feel vindicated more than you care about victims. don't act like anything you do is for the survivors if your focus is always on retribution or censorship against the abusers. you don't care about us. you don't remember we even exist half the time. none of you have looked into what actually helps us, none of you internalize our complicated feelings, none of you are willing to ease up on your christian ideas of sex and sexuality unless we explain our entire traumatic backstories to you. and then you say we're broken and need help, as if what we don't really need is for you to back us up or leave us the fuck alone.

none of you care. you just wanna find acceptable targets for your anger so you can feel good about destroying the Bad Person. dont piss me off

[aihoshiino]

chapter 162 thoughts!

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 19

Aqua Hoshigan Status: uh oh, gamers

damn they dragged his ass right to hell, huh

I was perhaps overly optimistic in expecting an immediate resolution to last chapter's setup. It's becoming increasingly clear that this handful of chapters covering the Aqua-Hikaru confrontation are intended to be read in one go but because I am pedantic I will continue to review them one by one <3 This chapter very much has all the same issues as the previous chapter without quite as many of the things I liked pulling it up, but Mengo's art is back to going absolutely crazy and I got to see 2.5 new panels of Hoshino Ai so who can say whether it was a good or bad chapter.

Like last time, we're starting with Hikaru again and… basically everything I said I didn't like about this handling of him is still the case but with this almost definitely being his final appearance with no more opportunities to explain anything about him, it really sucks that the note we seem to be ending on is just "damn, bitch be crazy". Given that Tsukuyomi mentioned his previously 'noble soul' last chapter, I was really hoping we might get some sort of flashback or Hikaru POV giving some proper context to his actions but all we got this chapter was him being like "ughh i miss ai. GOD i love killing people" which is, uh, underwhelming as a final note for an antagonist like Hikaru to go out on, to say the least

The thing is, I didn't need or expect Hikaru to be totes 100% an innocent bean or anything like that (ch109 looms large), but if he was going to be the final boss like this, I wanted his antagonism to come from somewhere, to have any kind of connecting thread with the story's themes or to at least tell us interesting things about him both in coming to understand where his behavior came from and why he went down this path. But we don't know anything about Hikaru, really - we know facts about his life but as person and a character in a story, our image of him is shockingly unclear. As far as the story seems to be concerned, he came into existence as an 11yo boy being abused by Airi, blipped out of reality when Ai broke up with him and then idk digivolved back into society into a guy from a yandere otome game when Ai died. Like, how in god's name did Hikaru go from the boy we see being broken up with as a teenager to… whatever the fuck this is? How did he start killing? Why? What is it about killing that makes him feel Ai's supposed presence? And most importantly - why does he pursue killing Ruby as his means of achieving this when the narrative is doing everything it can to convince us she's Ai 2.0 and therefore a living person in whom Hikaru should be able to feel Ai's presence the most strongly since her death? Hello? Can anyone hear me????

We don't get textual answers to any of that - hell, we don't even really have any textual confirmation that he is actually serial killer, despite it being something I guess we're supposed to assume at this point?? Like, whatever happened to Aqua seemingly crediting Yura's death to Nino's involvement? What happened to Aqua saying that Hikaru being the mastermind made no sense? Like, I guess he was right, but jesus

Even things I can take the time to try and infer (which, see last review's discussions on Inferring Things) just make me feel like I'm doing the work the story should have done in terms of trying to get his character to cohere. As it stands, Hikaru isn't in opposition to Aqua because he has harmful beliefs or behaviours born from his participation in society that stem from or are in conversation with the story's wider themes, but because he has one very specific unhinged belief totally disconnected from reality focused on one specific person and manifesting in such a way that caused him to just be Ontologically Evil And Broken.

And it's not like this would even be hard to do! Hikaru is literally, explicitly an affluent and powerful person in the entertainment industry despite being someone who was broken by abuse perpetuated by those very systems of power. Why not lean into that? Why not examine the ways in which Hikaru and Ai converged in their experiences of abuse - Ai able to truly sever the chain and begin healing while Hikaru ends up making Airi's mistakes and enacting abuse and control on people with less power than him to try and regain agency and dignity?

Ryosuke (even post retcon) and ch154 Hikaru work so well because their specific beliefs about Ai reflect real world misogyny and parasocialism that are rife in the entertainment industry (and even outside of it) so they're able to contribute to the story's wider themes pretty well. But as of this chapter, Hikaru's stated beliefs about killing and apparent overall worldview are so fucking detached from reality and so lacking any foundation or grounding in textual events or theming that it doesn't even feel like an exaggeration of real world issues to a logical conclusion like Ryosuke does. He just feels like a cartoon character.

Not only is this shallow in general and really a huge wet fart of an ending for a character who has been built up for 4 actual years and 150 chapters of manga, it's also just bizarrely inconsistent. There's no proper connecting thread in the text between the seemingly emotionally disarmed and remorseful Hikaru of 154-5 and fucking joker slenderman ass here. The story spent so long making Hikaru deeply and viscerally sympathetic through exploring his history of abuse and exploitation mirroring Ai's that I'm not sure of what the point of that was in terms of authorial intent if we were always gonna end at this point of "you are Ontologically Evil and must die". Movie Arc backstory Hikaru flows quite naturally into 153-5 Hikaru but these specific beliefs and fixations on killing almost feel like they popped up from nowhere to force this confrontation to happen.

Ultimately, despite being given ample opportunity to do so, it just kind of feels like Akasaka just kind of lost interest in trying to develop Hikaru into a fully fleshed out and coherent character. We get flashes and teases of what could have come together into a fascinating and compelling antagonist but he ultimately fails to evolve past a vague sketch of a character, full of unconnected ideas and loose threads. In the end, Hikaru is only ever a cipher for the story to enact tragedy through with no real interest in his own feelings and interiority in relation to it - not even his own.

To scooch back a bit into the chapter, I will say that him being dragged down specifically by Gorou is interesting, especially since he seems to have returned to his scary ass Tokyo Blade rage ghost form. This seems to represent Gorou and his rage being sort of 'exorcised' from Aqua now his revenge is complete (as I theorized might happen last week) - his memories and existence obviously live on in Aqua (F… FOR NOW…..) but as a character in a narrative, this feels like a fine enough place to leave him.

Anyway, speaking of Aqua! How ya doing, champ?

that bad, huh

The back half of this chapter revolves around giving Aqua some emotional resolution of his own and even though I've been kicking and biting to get some Aqua introspection for so long now, this one left me feeling pretty cold. After all this time of floating around the 'why' of his reincarnation, the answer we're finally given is….. just that Aqua was reborn to be Ruby's guard dog lol.

The idea that the twins were specifically reborn to be together has been imo pretty obvious for a good long while and I think it's a perfectly fine idea on paper, but this framing of it just kind of falls flat to me. I don't like that it positions Aqua's rebirth not as a second chance for him to love and be loved in a way he wasn't able to as Gorou, a gift from Tsukuyomi to two people who showed her a selfless, thoughtless kindness but as just yet more of the story using other characters and their stories to try and prop up Ruby or imbue her with more importance in a way that I think feels forced and does the characters who are used in this manner a huge disservice. I'm sure we could conclude that this is just Aqua's feelings on the matter and I really, really hope that Tsukuyomi fishes him out and gives him a slap while yelling YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE FOR YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY IDIOT or something next chapter, but the extremely warm framing this is all given makes me think this is something the narrative both agrees with and approves of and as an Aqua enjoyer I just kind of hate that for him.

I also have to say that like… it doesn't not make sense for the story's finale and this aspect of the reincarnation plot to center Ruby specifically. She is one half of the titular Oshi no Kos and at least hypothetically the co-protagonist of the story. But suddenly making her the answer and central turning axis of basically the biggest ongoing mystery in the story like this feels kind of jarring when Akasaka spent a solid half of this entire manga not really doing her justice. This attempt to tug on our heartstrings via flashbacks to the twins' childhood also doesn't really do anything for me because as cute as it is, it's just disconnected flashbacks to brand new events in their childhood we never saw or heard about before. And it's weird because it's not like we don't have in-story examples of Aqua being over protective of Ruby, so why not flashback to those?

Idk. It's hard for me to articulate why this left me feeling kind of cold, but it feels like a symptom of this being part of an ending that Akasaka set in stone too early on and hasn't compromised for he way the character dynamics and story that made it onto paper have shifted and changed in ways that don't one hundred percent line up with the ending he wanted. If the twins' relationship was going to be this important to the ending and be so central to Aqua's existence as a character, I wish we'd spent more time on it. One of the major critiques of OnK that people had from like chapter 12 onwards that I still agree with is that Aqua and Ruby's relationship doesn't feel like a close knit connection between two people who grew up together for 1X+ years, and that continuing issue makes it kind of hard for me to feel the warm and fuzzy sibling feels right now. Which sucks because I LOVE the Hoshino family trio and I love Aqua and Ruby's family dynamic when we actually get to see it - their chapter of interlude and some of the scenes in their home in early OnK are some of my fave parts of the story for that exact reason. But this just kind of whiffed for me.

It also isn't lost on me that Ai is basically absent from these flashbacks despite them primarily taking part in the part of the twins' childhood they spent with her. I get that the idea was to focus specifically on Aqua and Ruby's dynamic there but it still feels kind of…

I've already written a short essay on this topic as it pertained to the initial reveal of Tsukuyomi's role in AQRB's reincarnation and the TL;DR of that post is that early in the series, Ai is centered as a character of as much significance to the reincarnation plot as Gorou/Aqua and Sarina/Ruby are, with the togetherness of the Hoshino family as a trio and Ai specifically as Aqua and Ruby's mother being emphasized as having a great deal of meaning and importance. But this chapter doubles down on essentially erasing her as a figure of weight and consequence in the twin's reincarnation in a way that is both inconsistent and just kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Like… I'm sorry, but given how much of Ai's character revolves around her being the victim of exploitation, of objectification, sexual and otherwise, of being forced to warp herself to response to the filthy desires thrust on her by the people around her, it's really just gross and a huge misstep for her to be reduced to a convenient walking uterus. It is yet another example of Ai being reduced to just a stepping stone in Ruby's narrative and part of a pattern in this regard I've come to really dislike. Framed like this, Ai's own act of bravery and love in giving not just herself but Sarina and Gorou the family all three of them were denied all their lives is now nothing more than a vessel for Sarina's wish fulfillment. As you can imagine, I kind of hate this too!!

Depending on if volume 16 follows 14 and 15's trend of being 11 chapters long instead of 10, vol16 will end on either 162 or 163 - based on how 162 ends, my guess is that this is our volume ender so I'm curious to see what form 163 will take - straightforward continuation of this scene or focus switch to other characters to maintain suspense? I guess we'll see in THREE FUCKING WEEKS……. Akasaka i swear to god……………………….

sidebar but tsukuyomi just out here floating is kind of wild. what happened to 'it's a normal child's body' ya little twerp?

[fruittt-punchhh]

Pop My Cherry!

this is pt. 8! read the rest of the parts here.

Synopsis: your dad's best friend is none other than Toji Fushiguro, and you can't help but wonder what he could do with his hands.

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader. Shiu is in this one a lil’ more.

Content: Minors Do Not Interact! suggestiveness, afab! reader, fem! reader, dad's best friend! Toji, cursing, angst, etc.

Word Count: 1.7k-ish

Notes: bitches I’m finally back!! Life has been crazy per usual, but I’m back in my writing bag FINALLY. I will say this part is wayyyyyy shorter than the previous parts, but I didn’t know how else to split it up so pls forgive me. However, pt. 9 and future parts are already in the works so the next part will be up before you know it. No freak shit this time (forgive me again pls). Also HUGE thanks to @theobsidianempress for being my brainstorming buddy for this (and future) parts. Enjoyyyyyy🫶🥹🤓

Oh. That was not at all what you thought he would say. He was always so witty and honestly kind of perverted. With what just happened, you assumed he’d have another flirty, nasty quip about your vagina or something.

“What do you mean?” You asked plainly. You felt your heart rate increase, and you had already caught your breath from the activities previously. Why did that small admission make you so… stressed?

He scoffs, “Are you really gonna make me say it again, girl? I like being around you, I guess.” He admits as a small blush covers his nose. If only Shiu could hear him now.

Okay. He said it a little more casually this time. Maybe he’s just trying to be nice since you just fucked and this isn’t some sort of profession of love like you assumed.

“Oh yeah? Well I like hanging out with you too, Toji,” you say, letting out a nervous chuckle as you wipe your sweaty palms on the couch. Your eyes dart around room, looking for your clothes, a blanket, a plastic bag to put over your head, anything. You go to grab a blanket off of the nearby recliner, wrapping it around your shoulders tightly to cover yourself completely.

And Toji can’t help but notice the sudden nervousness, as if something within the room itself shifted. It felt different now. Different in a way he couldn’t explain, but now was not the time to start critically thinking.

His next words were quickly interrupted by a sharp ring of his phone.

Fucking Shiu.

As soon as he presses the green button, Shiu is already rambling loudly into the receiver.

“Like where the fuck are you? With how desperate you are for cash I’d figure you’d be here early bro. This is a big fucking job and I can’t afford for you to fuck it up either!”

Of course he forgot about work. With his head so wrapped up in you, he totally forgot about the rest of his existence. He responds quickly, letting Shiu know he’ll be at the location in twenty.

You felt relieved for some reason. You weren’t great at confrontation and felt it was easier to push your problems under the rug, at least until you’ve had ample time to think things over.

“Y/n, I’m really sorry, I promise I wouldn’t be leaving if I didn’t have work. I totally fucking forgot. I should be back by like, ten or some shit, then we can talk some more, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, just be safe!” You say as he throws on his clothes haphazardly. You go grab his shoes by the door to speed up the process. You knew you needed to be alone right now and his handsome face and pitiful heart eyes wasn’t helping.

There was no hug or kiss when he left, which you felt was best. You two waved bye and he was out the door in a flash.

Now you finally had time to freak out.

——————————————————————————

There he was. Sitting in the car, still pissed off apparently. Toji plops in the passenger seat, making the car bounce from his monstrous frame.

“What the fuck took you so long?”

He didn’t have time for questions when he was already like, thirty minutes late to the mission. Shiu actually seemed concerned for once, so he tried his best not to be a total dick.

“Look, I’ll explain later I swear. Can we just get this over with please? I’ve got shit to do.”

Shiu lets out an exasperated sigh before putting the car in gear.

“Let’s get it over with then.”

——————————————————————————

You had to calm down. You were probably just reading into things. But Toji, the notorious hard-ass, blunt, rude Toji, has been so considerate of you lately. Affectionate even. Which seems to be unlike him, to you at least. He didn’t grab your tit and say, ‘hey I like you’. He gently placed his hand on your stomach and said it into your eyes, like it was indeed the confession you thought it was.

You couldn’t do this. You start to panic and you felt yourself stand to your feet; it almost felt like something else was controlling your movements. You threw on some clean clothes and started looking for your suitcase.

This was crazy, right? I mean, he didn’t say he loved you. There was no proposal, no scary questions, nothing like that. Just “I’m starting to take a liking to you”. I mean who even says that anyways?

You felt so guilty. Toji, for once, had a look of hope in his eyes before he left. You could tell he felt terrible for leaving on the spot like that, and here you were doing the same thing. But you didn’t feel as terrible as he did, you knew that for a fact.

Yes, you felt bad. Guilty, ashamed, and panicked. But you had to keep reminding yourself it’d be better to get out now than to become attached to someone that’s unavailable for so many reasons. You had to keep telling yourself the bad things you knew about him to feel like you were justified in your decision. The fact that he was an assassin really didn’t help things. You hated to admit it, but that was the only thing you could come up with. Yes, he has been very brash and at times rude, but once he got to know you, the tough guy facade seemed to wash away (almost) entirely. The person revealed to you underneath all the dirt and grime was someone you felt yourself caring for, even in the short time you’ve known him. It doesn’t help that he was insanely attractive and has made you cum more times than you can count over the last few days.

Jesus Christ. This was not helping. You had to focus and get this shit over with before you changed your mind. You had just finished the last of your clothes and go to the bathroom to grab your toiletries.

——————————————————————————

Finally, this shit was over with. Toji hops back into the car alongside Shiu.

Shiu reaches into the backseat, grabbing a beach towel and throws it at Toji.

“Dude. I told you to start putting a towel down when you get in here. I still don’t see how you get so fucking messy every time.”

Toji laughs, wiping his hands on the towel before shoving it underneath him to put a barrier between him and the seat.

“What if I like it messy?”

Shiu rolled his eyes fully into his skull.

“Sooooo… you wanna talk now or whatever?” Shiu asked awkwardly, desperate to change the subject. The two didn’t talk personal life very often, opting to keep it to strictly business for no real reason other than the demands of the job leaving them too exhausted for frilly conversation afterwards. However, this was an easy job for once, and Toji seemed all too distracted. So much so, he almost got a little too sloppy with the job before he caught himself slipping up.

“Talk about what?”

“Are you fucking dumb? Why were you late and shit earlier?”

“Ohhhhh. I was with a girl is all, I just forgot about work and got busy with-“

“That’s enough. Spare me the gory details please.” He says quickly before lighting a cigarette.

“Since when do you call women ‘girls’ though? I thought bitch was your preferred term.”

The word struck a cord within him. Sure, he’d call you a bitch from time to time, but only in the bedroom. He doesn’t think he could ever call you something that harsh otherwise. But he also didn’t know how to answer that question.

“I don’t fuckin’ know man. Why do you care?”

“Just curious is all.”

——————————————————————————

That was it. Everything was packed. Your dad wouldn’t be home for a while, and it was already 8 o’clock. You couldn’t risk Toji catching you as you left. It was truly now or never.

You start loading everything up in your car, desperate to leave. At this point, you needed to stay focused on yourself and this next semester. Distractions as large as this would only jeopardize your future. You threw your last bag in the trunk and locked up the house.

As you pull out of the driveway, you didn’t look back, literally or figuratively. You had to get out and this was the best time to do it. This was the right decision, it had to be.

——————————————————————————

Finally, this shit was over with. Now he could get back to his priority?

Yeah. His priority.

He wanted to be courteous for once, so he shoots you a quick text letting you know he’s on your way back.

‘Hey, y/n, just got done, I’ll be back in twenty. Gotta shower when I get back but after that, I’m all yours,’ he texted, opting out of adding an emoji because he was too old for that shit.

Weird. It said not delivered. He was in a weird part of town though, maybe there’s no service. Or you fell asleep and your phone died? Who knows.

——————————————————————————

He arrived and to your surprise, your car is gone. He tries not to sweat it as he walks up onto the porch. The door was locked, which was also strange. He goes around back to grab the spare and unlocks the door.

“Y/n?” He calls, eagerly needing to hear your voice again. But there was no answer. The house was dead silent. The lights were off.

He flips the kitchen switch on quickly before storming into the living room, turning on the light there as well.

It was all gone. Your clothes, your phone, your everything. He rushes down the hallway to your room and nearly falls through the door in an attempt to open it so quickly. Holy shit. There was literally nothing left. It looked how it did before you showed up. Clean and much too undisturbed.

He gives you a call, and it immediately goes to voicemail. He started to worry. He felt it was unlike you to up and leave so suddenly, especially without a note or a text message.

He had to call your dad. With sweaty fingers, he dials the number by heart, not having the time to scroll through his contacts.

“Hey man, what’s-”

“Hey, I just got home and y/n is gone, have you heard anything?” He all but yelled, trying his best to remain calm.

“Oh yeah, everything’s good. She texted and said she had to go back to campus for early move in or something. You okay?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Uh, yeah, e-everything’s fine. Just making sure nothing happened, thanks,” he says before he’s hanging up the phone.

What the fuck?

@theobsidianempress @scorpiosugar @voloslobotomyservice @lostsoul526 @shhreya @placxdbaby @iminurwallsgege @slvttyplum @bluejayreadsanddreams

[genderqueerdykes]

I’ve seen more and more people being affected by the pornbots in the trans tags. Does it annoy you too?

And just as a general check how are you doing?

that's actually a very good question- yes, it does

it's been happening to almost every queer tag but it's been particularly rough in the trans tags. trans people posting erotic photographs of themselves isn't something that bothers me, what bothers me is exactly what you mentioned, the bots. i can easily block certain tags to not see trans erotica but the porn bots just don't care

whenever i go into a tag like "trans" or "transgender" i'm looking to hear about others' experiences with being trans, look at some trans art, share other people's experiences and journeys with transition, and so on. i don't want to see random porn everywhere that has nothing to do with trans people especially. tumblr did not achieve anything in trying to ban porn because now its just everywhere again

and its not even good like at least in the past a lot of it was by trans people for trans people. now it's almost entirely scams. they existed before but they're way worse now. i report and block them whenever i'm able to but it's a nightmare. as someone on the asexual spectrum, but sex positive, i just don't want to see stolen images of random girls. again i don't mind if it's porn for and by trans people, especially because that can easily be blacklisted, but it's impossible to blacklist the porn bots because they don't play by the rules

trans porn is generally well tagged so that you can easily block that from showing up in your tag searches and dashboard, whereas the bots are trying to avoid getting blacklisted. it's frustrating. i'd rather people look at trans erotica instead, at least it would be on topic. this is just taking people's attention away from trans sex workers and it fucking sucks

also thank you for asking! i had to rest and drink a lot of fluids after the gastric emptying study yesterday. i have my consult for gallbladder removal surgery in 2 days, which i am looking forward to. i had no idea that was such a big issue, there were a lot of guesses being made before i finally got a CT scan. most doctors were humming and hawing about how my insurance "won't" pay for those scans... but it does. if they go about writing the referral and getting diagnostic information, my insurance pays for those types of scans. it's not just x-rays my insurance covers, but doctors assume it won't be covered due to me having insurance for very low income people (medicaid)

after surgery i'll have to talk to someone about my liver. i'm not sure how long i have to recover from gallbladder removal surgery, but we shall see. other than that i'm doing alright, just navigating the symptoms that's been causing most nights out of the week, reading some queer books i've borrowed from the library, talking with my neighbors, and resting. my neighbors are also disabled and are very kind, well, at least my immediate neighbors, and one at the end of the street, as well as an older guy who takes walks up and down the block very often. these people are all very kind. i like talking with them and hearing about their days.

i also give them any meat the food bank accidentally sends me which is good because i hate the idea of just throwing it out. i've been able to cook a lot of very nice meals lately now that i have some more pots and pans and cooking tools. i lost a lot of mine while moving but i finally have enough to cook reliably and more than one thing at a time :) i was given a lot of brown rice from the food bank because i can't eat meat and a lot of their items contained meat and i've found i like brown rice a lot, honestly more than white rice. it takes eons to cook but it's worth it, especially if you add soy sauce, sesame oil, or other seasonings into the water as it cooks

thanks for checking in! i appreciate you, take care

[stratocumulusperlucidus]

OMG CALOU! You took the 0.000000000000000001% chance!!!

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR U 😭💕 (tzp is real and he’s not a figment of my imagination BC MY MOOT MET HIM!)

Thank youuuu 💖💖💖 i'm so happy even if it still feels very unreal!

To be fair, my spouse @adropofred really changed the odds last minute, i would not have been able to meet him without them and i will eternally be grateful to them and their insane googling skills 💖

(i also went to the Galleries Lafayettes just before and sprayed some Santal 33 on my wrists and i think that might have bumped up my luck slightly too)

Also thanks @basil-bird @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie and @taste-thewaste who all provided much needed support because i was feeling like a total creep and freaking out when i realized there was actually a chance for me to meet him lmao

I make it sound like an award speech or something haha but yeah I didn't just run into him randomly like my initial plan was so credit where credit is due 💖

I still can't believe i saw him with my own eyeballs, not through a screen, and heard his voice directly in my ears and he said my cat was cute omgggg!!!!! But yes i can confirm he is real and tall and gorgeous and his voice is like butter and whew what a man

Also seeing him on my dash feels different now?? Like wow he's a real human being who exists and not just the most beautiful man in my phone??? I kinda knew that already but i guess i wasn't entirely convinced until now, i knew he was a real person but he's real real yk?

I was so excited I barely slept, and i'm still feeling that adrenaline rush almost an entire day later ahvsjdgsjdvdbssv

[the-dragon-girl-27]

Remember those other 3 times I turned sekai characters into dinos (L/N MMJ VBS) I'm back with more of that crap i know Wanshow fans just looove their AUs so maybe this will appeal to a whole 3 people instead of 2 people this time

explanation for my picks below the cut

Tsukasa is a Styracosaurus because I made Saki a Stellosaurus which is another ceratopsian and also its frill is like vaguely star shaped kinda sorta not really

I don't have much to say about him so can i just mention how awful that Stellasaurus drawing is.

Yeah only recently did i start figuring out how the fuck to draw decent ceratopsians I am so sorry (the struggle is real i almost accidentally gave tsukasa 2 left feet here i swear i know what i'm doing)

I should redo that Saki at some point, girl deserves so much better than that wonkey crap. speaking of ceratopsians i opted out of giving him protofeathers unlike Saki idk they just didn't look right on him you can kinda go either way with most ceratopsians so i just do it when the vibe fits and don't when the vibe doesn't fit

Rui is a Troodon because Troodons are often associated with intelligence because they have the biggest brain to skull ratio of any dino, there's kinda no real way to know how intelligent dinos were but troodon just has the reputation of the smart dinosaur and people often depict them using tools like how crows do and that's like kinda like how rui does robot stuff, he also just fits the raptor shape sorta i feel like raptors have that sorta look to them that is like a similar vibe to the one Rui has, even tho Rui is the tallest character in sekai I feel like he's a mid sized dinosaur, does that make sense? no, but it does to me and i make the rules he's also 100% a feathered dino so it fits

Speaking of Troodon all you 2 paleo nerds reading this are getting war flashbacks from the name Troodon because Troodon itself has a interesting history of being a "wastebasket taxon" which is nerd talk for "scientists just threw a bunch of vaguely similar animals into this one category and didn't consider that maybe this was like 5 different animals and what would be the long term consequences of doing that" yes this is a thing that has happened enough times that there is a word for it

that shit still as of now isn't sorted out I don't think, I at least based my Troodon off the big one from Alaska that literally does not have a fucking name and is just like "the Alaska Troodon". I feel like the size fits and imma be real its the Troodon you see everywhere in media these days because its big and cool and it lived with Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus and also people like it cuz drawing dinosaurs in the snow is fucking awesome (boom i just tricked you into learning paleontology history)

Emu is an Archeopteryx because Emu is supposed to be like a phoenix and Archeopteryx could probably fly or glide or smth it's general considered like "the first bird" so like yeah (now that i think about it i could've made her pyroraptor cuz of the name but also she doesn't fit the vibes of a raptor at all i guess pyroraptor has the whole fire bird thing from its name) Emu would also be a small feathered dinosaur for sure so it fits in that sense too.

Nene is a Stegosaurus because the plates kinda look like her hair thing and her outfit in general and i feel like nene would have those tail spikes for some reason idk it just fits her energy, she'd def be a herbivore as well i feel. Also i personally just associate stegosaurus with the color green personally idk why (at first i was thinking she would be iguanodon because that's another dinosaur that's green in my head but she has like nothing in common with iguanodon lmao)

I guess nenerobo would be an Ankylosaurus than because that would like probably be the logical robot version of a stegosaurus maybe idk would nenerobo exist in this universe, you decide idk

i guess next one is that last one unless i wanna redo the vocaloids in this style or redraw saki at some point or whatever see you whenever that happens in however long it takes

[pfaerie]

I read heartstopper for a bit and I keep pretty mid expectations for webcomics because its a story for free, im not going to complain too much, whatever

But the 0 stakes thing fucking killed me man. Its also the like, wholesome paradox of not wanting to have a problematic world, but also wanting the mains to be comforted for their issues that came from a problematic world.

So you have a story where we encounter actual homophobia like twice, but fear of homophobia is a vehicle for comfort therapy speak. It becomes frustrating because it starts to feel like their fears are unfounded because the only homophobia in the plot is soundly dealt with by "it's a singular character who sucks so comically and no one likes that guy anyway"

And same with the eating disorder kinda? We have this whole plot about his disorder and it's resolved with "I've been in inpatient for a month and things are looking up!"

Also no one is allowed to be interesting because they all have to be nice and good and emotionally right always.

I don't know much about osemans personal stuff since I really don't look into authors, and I'm sure there's stuff in her comics but the characters are all so forgettable I can't even recall what was wrong about them. However she did have an author portrait in her physical copies that annoyed me lol.

Its all just so toothless man. Idk it feels like an ideological extension of, in trying to defend gay people against hypersexual stereotype, make things incredibly suppressed and overly chaste. Which if that's what you need whatever I guess, but it really became the popular gay media trend for a while and it nearly killed me.

EXACTLY 100% THIS. They're toothless and forgettable.

Their reluctance to do anything isn't supported by the world around them - they could probably kill a guy and get off scot-free, but they wouldn't because they're friends with everyone and nobody has an emotion more intense than a mild flutter. Except for the dickheads, who, like you said, are comically evil.

They're serious about everything, but it's easy to be serious when they only need to be, like, 5th-grader-with-one-chore-a-week serious!!! And vice versa! It's easy to be carefree when there are literally NO STAKES. IN ANYTHING. Like, I don't want to see tons of gay suffering by any means, but also. It builds character 🙄 They're fake. It's whatever.

Like. It's fine that it exists. Creators can do what they want. 90% of what I draw is syrupy-sweet romance and cute things. I get the appeal for the people who just want or need something soft. But god. I wish I never had to see another ad for that show. I don't want it on MY blog, in MY corner of the internet. I hate that it's a media darling. It's obnoxious.

[variablejabberwocky]

my body is doing a weird thing and the more data i collect the more its looking like a symptom of my medical concerns/needs being ignored by doctors for ~35+

because all the things i've been doing to self-treat other pre-existing issues is stuff that makes THIS current issue worse. but those things ARE helping the other, older, conditions. and i'm having to self-treat because i couldn't get any doc to take those issues seriously and/or provide any treatment for them

so like....im just boned

mega-boned, even

and not in any fun ways

...oh and of course stress makes it worse, because of course it does

[sadisthetic]

the madness frustration loneliness of the dissonance of a mismatch of the rotten heart to the rest

allosexual aromantic swag happy pride *peaces out*

[thankstothe]

One liners the sequel

[starry-bi-sky]

Clone^2 - Separation Strikes

"Why do I have to go?" Damian asks, surly and accent-thick, it sounds more like a demand and a whine at the same time. Sitting on the kitchen table with his arms crossed, in a green t-shirt that Danny bought him at a whim when he was at a thrift shop, and black shorts, he's never looked more like a kid. There's a little backpack leaning against the table leg, Damian begrudgingly picked it out when they went shopping.

His English has grown in leaps and bounds since Danny found him -- er, or more accurately; since Damian was spat out in front of him. -- and very little did they have to use the translator on Danny's phone these days.

Which meant one thing: Damian can start attending school comfortably now. And 'go' was the Amity Smiles Child Care Center. Danny and Jazz went as kids until they were twelve, and Mom and Dad actually managed to convince the center director to let Damian enroll for the summer.

And it was summer; Damian starts today.

"Because," Danny says, trying and failing to hide the smile pulling on his face, his heart warm and soft, and also laughing at Damian's expense; "being cooped up in the house all day isn't good for you, and you're starting school in the Fall. And, in Jazz's words: you need to have interactions with other kids your age for the benefit of your social development. And besides, it's only for the morning."

Damian's nose scrunches up, and his eyes roll so violently that for a moment, Danny thinks about joking that he'll get his eyes stuck like that. He holds his tongue; his little brother already looks like he's five seconds away from committing an act of violence.

"I don't need social interaction." Damian sneers, his cheek in his hand; a neverend pool of pride. "I am--"

"The Blood of the Demon Heir, better than everyone else." Danny cuts off, waving his hand in dismissive circles, his voice mockingly deep. Damian's brown skin darkens in embarrassment, and he scowls at Danny. "I know, bud. But Jazz is right, -- don't tell her I said that, -- you should be around kids your age."

Especially when he starts First Grade in the Fall. Honestly -- Danny was a little nervous to send him to the center. Damian's long since cut the habit of trying to kill or otherwise maim people, his palms ache-burn with gentle reminder, but his tongue was as sharp and as cutting as his sword. He still struggles with trying to quell it when he's upset. Vicious child-weapon that he once was, and will never be again.

Danny knows that it comes from a place of fear and defense, that Damian lashes out because that's what he's been taught. That at the end of the day, he doesn't really mean what he says, and he's learning to express himself better. But the other kids don't know that, and kids can be unforgiving and cruel.

Danny just...

His slow beating heart sighs, melancholy settles behind his lungs.

He doesn't want Damian to be outcasted. He doesn't want him to be alone.

Not like he was.

Damian sneers again, but says nothing, his shoulders crawling up to hide his ears like a turtle receding into his shell. Danny watches him silently, leaning against the kitchen counter with his own arms crossed. The clock hanging on the wall ticks in their ears -- it's almost time to go.

He watches Damian, careful, and so he sees it when his little brother's stone-shell pride and petulance shudders, and cracks. The darkened furrow of Damian's brows weakens, and for a moment, slants back.

Ah, Danny thinks, his own shoulders slumping. Epiphany washes over him, and his sad-heart soothes in warm understanding. So that's what it is.

His head tilts, and his hair spills over his shoulders, messy and fluffy, tickling his neck. Some of his bangs fall into his face. "Hal 'ant easabiatan ya habibi?" He asks, voice low and soft. Just as Damian's English has improved, so has Danny's Arabic. He still stumbles over himself some days, and Damian says his accent is trash, but they can have whole conversations now in Damian's mothertongue.

(Danny was incredibly proud of himself for it.)

Damian's face darkens, his blush spreading across the rest of his face, and he ducks his head down. Grown-out curls, black-brown and springy, falls over his eyes. "La!" He yells, loud and indignant, and not at all convincingly. "La 'asheur bialtawaturi!"

He was nervous. Danny can see it now, in the hunch of his shoulders and the tightness of his face, and faintly, he can feel it too. In the ecto-rich air of the Fentonworks House, it thrums, barely-there, like a hummingbird behind his lungs.

Danny can't stop the little, fond smile that forces itself across his lips and upticks the corner of his mouth. "It's okay to be nervous, little brother." He says, he sounds like Jazz when he says that. He doesn't think she'll mind him borrowing the nickname.

He pushes himself off the counter, and Damian refuses to look at him, hiding behind his hair and in his shoulders. It takes three long strides for him to reach the table, and Danny turns, plants his hands on the ledge, and hoists himself up. Right next to Damian.

Damian leans into him easily when Danny's arm wraps around his shoulders and tucks him close to his heart. He can feel his ear against his ribs. Danny hunches over him, resting his chin on Damian's head. "It's so okay to be nervous, actually. I was nervous, Jazz was nervous." He tells him, scratching the blunt edge of his nails across his scalp. "Everyone gets nervous."

"'Ana last aljumiea." Damian mumbles, as small and feeble as he was the night on the OPS Center balcony, realizing that his mom and the League weren't coming for him. Realizing that he was replaceable.

Danny's half-working heart squeezes; in grief, in rage, and his faucet eyes sting. He breathes in carefully, and presses his nose into Damian's hair in a loving faux-kiss. "You're right, you're not everyone." He says, steady and strong, because if he's not a pillar for his family, who else is he?

He can feel Damian's eyes flick up to him, and Danny smiles into his black-brown curls. Tilts his head to squish his cheek against him instead, hand dropping to thumb below Damian's lashes. "You're Damian Fenton," Because the adoption went through a few weeks ago, and he's still riding that high, "You're my baby brother. O' Artist Extraordinaire, Kickass with a Sword, Vegetarian and Wonderful Co-Ghost Hunter."

Damian tries to stifle a smile, and fails. Score! Triumph gathers in Danny's gut, his smile grows wider. He squeezes Damian tight, and only releases him so he can look him in the eyes. "And if anyone gives you a hard time at school, and I mean anyone--"

Danny has bad memories of the teachers looking the other way when the other kids were bullying him, all because he was a Fenton.

And Danny, bleeding heart, bleeding hands, loves his family more than he will ever love himself, will never let Damian experience the same injustice. Not if he can help it.

His eyes narrow, and the buzzy-film of ectoplasm covers his eyes, making them glow, "--You tell me. And as your awesome great big brother-and-technically-dad-but-only-biologically, I will handle it."

Damian, wonderfully made, full of light, his little brother Damian, giggles weakly at him. A sound that's worth it's weight in gold. The scary eyes dissipate, and Danny matches the sound with a cock-eyed, impish grin, dragging Damian into a soul-crushing, too-tight hug. The kind that only annoying older brothers can give. "Got it?"

That gets a proper, if short, laugh out of Damian. He wriggles in Danny's arms, trying to break free. But Danny does calisthenics, his arms are as big as Damian's head, so it doesn't work. "Understood, now, daeni 'adhhab ya 'akhi!"

Danny laughs, loud and bright, and loosens his hold just a smidge, only so he can adjust his grip and hop off the table with Damian still in arm.

"Never!" He crows, hoisting Damian slightly. One eye flick at the clock, and in one quick move, he secures Damian under one arm like a football, and hooks his foot under the strap of his backpack. Kicking it up, he tosses it into the air and catches it with his free hand, and slings it over his shoulder. "Now, to the car, my boy! Before we're late and Mom and Dad get charged."

Damian groans, childish and dramatic and long, but his face is all squished up with a wide grin and glee. Danny can taste his joy beneath his tongue.

"And, if my little pep talk didn't encourage you," He says, reaching the door to the garage, flipping Damian up onto his hip instead. "If you have a good day today, I'll make you bal mithai when you get back."

Like all kids at the promise of sweets, Damian's eyes widen and glitter. Danny loves seeing Damian be a kid, it's his favorite thing in the world. "I will!"

[josephtrohman]

joe talking about the guitar gift from marie 🥹💘

[iamespecter]

HOLY SHIT I FOUND YOU!! I SAW YOUR FNAF ART LIKE A YEAR AGO ON PINTREST AND I WAS LIKE DAMN THATS PRETTY FUCKING AWSOME BUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME I COULDN'T FIND THE ARTIST BUT I JUST DID, ITS YOU!!

I have no idea which art of mine you found from pinterest but based on what you're implying I lowkey think it's this screenshot redraw I made for the FNAF movie lmao (which I hope I'm right)

Unfortunately you won't get much FNAF art from me nowadays anon, ever since Ruin disappointed me immensely I've just lost most of the hope I've been clinging onto for the franchise, now I'm just here... reminiscing, watching from the sidelines, and making a once-in-a-blue-moon art for it if I'm feeling extra