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azures-bazar · 2 years ago

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Night owls

I've been wanting to write a Kieran Duffy one shot FOR AGES. He's my ultimate fave along with Sean and Arthur and I deeply wish we could give him a good hug in game. 💔 OMG I MESSED UP WITH THE TITLE IT'S "NIGHT OWLS"

Next mission : Part 2 of Fairest of Them All ! I already have the whole plot, now I just need more time :')

Please excuse my aweful grammar mistakes. Like I said, I'm mostly writing these one shots by night due to my new job ! I can take requests if wanted, it might just take some time. ☀️

Kieran Duffy x GenderNeutral!Reader

Word count : 2.5k

Short summary : You and Kieran are two night owls who found one another on the dock of Clemens Point to gaze at the stars.

Tags : cute, our favourite horse boah, Chapter 3, Clemens Point, Kieran being cute asf, insecurity, stargazing

"O’Driscoll."

Here’s what Kieran heard most of the time, in the most scornful tone. No matter what he was doing, no matter what he was looking at, no matter what he was talking about. He was an O’Driscoll boy, and almost everyone in the gang reminded him about his former allegiance, even little Jack. He always felt safe around horses, they would not yell at him for a simple mistake, or openly pick on him like Sean would do. Kieran was a shadow, hiding from the rest of the gang despite Bill’s or Arthur’s best efforts to have, at least, one beer with him. Kieran was scared of many gang members, but certainly not of you.

Since Arthur brought Kieran, first tied up in Colter’s stable, you had been overwhelmingly kind to him. You had given him food and had the right to untie him for him to relieve himself. You hated Dutch’s decision to keep him tied up and not having the right to feed him, but your own motives won over his orders. You could not stand Kieran’s endless cries for food, you just wanted him alright. Since he was free and taking care of horses, Kieran kept offering you his gratitude by picking a few flowers nearby, carefully placing them on your cot. He was too shy to directly give his bouquets to you… and you never knew who gave you all these gifts.

Just like Mary-Beth, you had fallen for him. When you were not on guard duty, you enjoyed looking at him from enough distance for him not to spot you. You were too shy to talk to him, somewhat intimidated by his gaze. His large green and arched eyebrows always made him look like a lost puppy, which was quick to make you forget about what you wanted to tell him. But one thing was quick to make your heart rate increase in a mere blink of an eye : whenever your gaze met his, he would quickly blush and smile at you. He was deeply fond of you and, despite being quite awkward with the rest of the gang members, was quick to show his emotions to you.

That night, you were resting by the dock of Clemens Point. Not a sound could be heard but the faint noise of campfire’s burning logs, or Arthur’s snore as you passed by his tent. Even Dutch was silent after his numerous arguments with Molly, which were now a routine. You had wandered around the tents to see if there were no other lost souls, night owls like you… but everyone was asleep. You had walked to the dock and sat there, taking your boots off and pulling your trousers up, allowing your feet to rest in the cold water. You were facing West, taking time to appreciate how beautiful the sky was, with the Milky Way showing its most beautiful stars above your head, giving you a beautiful picture to enjoy. Gazing at the sky by night was something you often cherished as it was relaxing.

"M…M-May I join you ?"

You turned your head to your right, noticing that Kieran was standing there, dressed in his underwear. His voice was so faint and calm that you had barely heard it. You could tell he was blushing, his hands clenching on the bottom of his shirt, nearly tearing it in the process. You shivered, still intimidated by his presence, gently nodding while patting an empty space beside you.

"Sure." you smiled

It had taken about two or three days for Kieran to make this first move with you. He had mentally rehearsed his speech, from his moves to his facial expression, deeply scared of making you run away. He awkwardly moved forward and sat beside you, the tip of his feet touching the water. His heart rate was incredibly quick, he could not come out with any decent word to make the conversation. In fact… neither could you. His sole presence felt calming enough for you to enjoy the moment, but you were terrified of saying a word, believing he would also run away from you. How wrong the two of you were !

"Crap! It’s cold !" Kieran gasped, quickly dragging his feet out of water

"C’mon, it ain’t so cold." you smiled as Kieran turned to face you

"It is !"

His reaction was heartwarming enough for you to chuckle. The simple fact that he wanted to do things like you, plunging his feet into water despite its temperature was not hot enough, made him look adorable. You had seen Kieran trying to fit in with the rest of the gang by mimicking them on a daily basis, often trying to hold himself like Arthur, sitting by the fire like Sean or helping Ms. Grimshaw with morning chores by repeating her tasks with her proudly watching him do better than the girls all-together. He had genuinely believed the water was somewhat warm when he saw you bouncing your legs back and forth and wanted to join you into this harmless activity.

As soon as he noticed you laugh a little, Kieran blushed and turned his head down. He believed he had ridiculed himself before you, and was wrong ! He turned his head back to you and smiled as he quickly understood he had no right to be ashamed, judging by the comforting glance you gave him. He was so confused and charmed at the same time, enough for him to smile even more. At this moment, he understood that there was nothing to be scared about. In fact, he felt comfortable enough to speak again.

"You… you like gazing at the stars, right ?" he asked

"Yeah. I find it relaxing, especially after tough days. What about you ?"

"Same for me. I love watching stars move above my head… it makes me realise how actually small we are compared with what’s up there."

Your eyes open wide to this statement. Just like you, Kieran loved watching the sky, acknowledging how tiny humans were, and how vast the universe was above you. Centuries ago, you would have been called mad by believing something existed beyond Earth and probably burnt at the stake for heresy. What was above your head was fascinating enough for you be feel lost in your thoughts, but never could you have imagined that Kieran felt the same as you, especially since he could neither read or write.

"My mammy used to say we’re tiny beings." Kieran restarted. "She used to bring me to fields to gaze at the stars and often told me stuff about constellations. Can’t but think about her when I look at the sky now."

"What we she like ?" you asked

"Beautiful and kind. She had her ways, but she loved things that weren’t good for ladies. I was ‘bout six when I lost her and pappy to cholera."

"I’m… I’m sorry."

"Don’t be. It ain’t your fault."

You could help but feel bad about Kieran’s past. The way he childishly called his parents mammy and pappy made you remember your own life, how you had lost your family at a young age too. Having been left alone in the streets of your hometown for years, Dutch and Hosea finding you felt like a miracle, providing you with a family you never expected to have, with Arthur and John as your two older brothers, watching over you since your induction into the gang. Kieran was certainly not as lucky as you, having joined the army for some time before leaving, living on his own before the O’Driscolls got him. Poor Kieran had it worse than many folks of your gang, being an outcast for most of his life.

As far as you remembered, you were still young when Colm and Dutch’s feud occurred and had time to see how cruel the leader of the O’Driscoll boys was with his men. Dutch had shielded you from him, not allowing you to be nowhere near Colm or one of his men. You could remember Arthur and John never leaving you alone when Colm was walking by, even dragging you behind them when he was glancing towards your direction. You felt terrible you heard Kieran speak about him by the fire, how cruel and merciless he was, how many of his men he killed to just replace them, believing he went through hell while riding with the O’Driscoll Boys. At least he was safe with you !

"B-by the way… it was me." Kieran mumbled

"You ?"

"I… I-I’m the one w-who puts flowers on your cot."

You shivered and blushed at this sudden confession. It might have taken so much courage for Kieran to admit such thing to you ! You had been questioning a few gang members for weeks about these gifts, not knowing who would give you flowers and why someone would even gift you something anyway. You were close to mostly everyone, but probably not enough for anyone to give you flowers.

"You’re the one who’s been bringing me flowers all this long ?" you blushed, feeling your heart rate increase

"Y-yeah… You’re so kind to me, and… you know, you didn’t treat me like a monster. And… well… you…"

Kieran kept loosing his words, turning his head down. Saying he was the one who was secretly giving you these beautiful flowers was already such a big step forward ! He could not even think about what he could say next, being overwhelmingly terrified about your rejection, still being somewhat aware that you were receptive to his sweet charms. Kieran kept his head down for a moment as his large eyes twitched a little towards you.

"You’re really attractive…" he mumbled

Your heart stopped beating for a second. If Kieran had told something like this during the day, he would have seen you turning red. Your mouth was half-open, you could not even respond to his sudden compliment. How sweet and genuinely kind Kieran was ! Enough for you to completely forget about your surroundings, and about Dutch who had been woken up, looking at the two of you between his tent flaps while Molly was asleep. The rest of the world did not matter much as you and Kieran, two night owls gazing at the stars above, finally found each other. Yes, finally.

"You… it’s alright… you can tell me to stop…" Kieran mumbled, shyly turning his head away while closing his eyes. "I ain’t probably the one you expected…"

"N-no ! Don’t ever stop, please." you gasped. "Don’t !"

Despite feeling a vast amount of butterflies and bubbles inside you, you could not hold it any longer. You took a deep breath and dragged your feet out of water, moving a little closer to Kieran. Your hand rose to his directly, you lifted his face by gently holding his chin. What a move ! You could feel him shiver as he quickly opened his large eyes to look at you, still surprised. He even looked a little scared… like the lost puppy you thought him to be.

"Y/N…?"

Your other free hand made its way to his cheek, his eyes opened wide. Nobody had even been so gentle towards him, so kind ! And there you were, there you were. His sunshine, his wildest dream. He would have never expected you to be this receptive to his words and act so gently with him. His eyes got filled with tears of happiness, he even moaned of pleasure as you rubbed his cheek with your thumb. The very last time someone had touched his face so gently was his mother herself, on her deathbed. It felt good enough for him to smile, bending his head for you to keep going while looking deep into your eyes.

"You’re such a treasure, Kieran…" you smiled. "My treasure… I’m so glad I found you… "

"I’m… I-I’m happy I finally f-found you too…" Kieran stuttered

As you looked into his eyes, you had not noticed that Kieran’s hands had moved to your waist. He rose a little, moving his legs aside as he dragged you a little closer to him, carefully enough not to scare you. He did not want you to run away, he could not allow this… neither could you. You had found each other, and it felt like the beautifulest dream anyone of you could ever imagine.

"I... l-love you." he whispered

You had no time to respond to such a beautiful sentence, Kieran had quickly moved forward to passionately kiss you. Your hands moved to his shoulders, you clung onto his shirt as you were softly pushed down, laying beneath Kieran who could not back away anymore. He kept kissing you so passionately that you even forgot about time and your surroundings. Nothing else mattered but the two of you, finally fusing into one being beneath this endless star-filled sky. Kieran rose a little above you as you gently caught his face between your hands, gazing into his beautiful eyes.

"I love you." you smiled

Kieran smiled and arched his eyebrows, being overwhelmingly thrilled by what you had just said. No one had ever told him such thing ! He wanted to cry, but having you so close to him, ready to receive another kiss from him made him forget about all these negative and nostalgic thoughts he usually kept for himself. He kissed you one more time as you heard someone walk on the dock, causing the two of you to quickly stand up. Dutch was there, his arms crossed on his chest. You and Kieran stood still, turning your head down like two children who had been caught red-handed after messing around, which made Dutch smile.

"What are you doing here ?" he asked

"Gazing at the stars, Dutch." you responded

"We weren’t doin’ anything wrong, S-sir." Kieran added

"You sure weren’t, now go to sleep. Y/N, you’re on guard duty tomorrow, and we need Kieran to take care of horses."

The two of you nodded, causing Dutch to chuckle a little as he watch the two of you walk away in line. Right before separating, you dragged Kieran inside your tent and closed its flaps. In no way could you just leave Kieran sleep by the tree alone again ! You allowed him to lie down on your cot first. He opened his arms to greet you into his embrace.

"Cuddles ?" he whispered

Your heart melted one more time, you could not resist. You obliged and lied next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Your head quickly nuzzled in the crook of his neck as he placed a blanket above the two of you.

"All good ?" you asked

"All good."

It had been such a long while since Kieran did not get the right to lie down and enjoy a bed, even a bedroll, anything more comfortable than the bare ground ! He was quick to feel a relaxed, slowly drifting into sleep as he snuggled into your thin mattress. You rose a little to kiss his cheek, causing him to moan while holding you closer to him, held into your embrace on a comfortable bed, hiding under a warm blanket. He had forgotten how great it felt to have covers above him, how great it was to be loved. And, with you, he would remember what love felt like.

"Goodnight, Kieran." you whispered

#kieran duffy #kieran duffy x reader #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 x reader #fluff #stargazing #rdr2 fanfic #red dead redemption fanfiction #clemens point #my gifs #kieran duffy is cute and no one is going to change my mind #red dead screenshots #azurestales

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maw-and-pawp · 7 months ago

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I've been having some hurt/comfort thoughts for awhile now. I might make some ocs around this. SFW, platonic (queerplatonic?), victim blaming, blood mention, background murder, found family, angst and fluff, vore-adjacent.

A pred and a prey duo, in an unlikely friendship. The pred is smaller than the prey, and is somehow vegetarian, but is definitely still intimidating to the prey due to their long claws and sharp teeth and stoic face. They're aware that they come off as threatening to others, and do their best to be kind with their actions, and hide their claws in thick gloves. Besides, if no one knows exactly what they're capable of with those claws, then the chances of being traced back to their "nightshift" are low.

The prey is a survivor of an almost fatal digestion, and they would've been just another victim if their pred hadn't saved them and brought them to a hospital in time. Since then, the prey has both developed trauma from the encounter, and a fragile bond with the pred. The pred insisted to give them their number, afterall. To call just in case they needed help again. For anything.

They started talking, and one thing led to another, and now it's a common occurrence to find the pred in the prey's apartment, taking care of stuff the prey can't always manage on their own now. Making sure the prey doesn't forget to care for themself, helping them run down to the laundromat, cooking for the both of them when the prey can't get out of bed. The pred has been helping them when their family is either too far away to, or blames the prey for what happened (you wouldn't have been taken if you hadn't been alone that night, we raised you better than to go to a mixed bar, let alone by yourself). Because of that, they keep the pred's night time habits to themself, and pointedly do not ask about the faint smell of blood whenever the pred shows up in the mornings. They don't want to know (and they'd like to keep plausible deniability, thank you).

The prey's been going to a support group for others like them. People who were lucky. Someone suggested something like exposure therapy once, mostly as a joke (which wasn't well received). Which...honestly at this point, the prey is tired of being a live wire after what happened, and they would do just about anything to just Go Back To Normal now. So the idea stuck. All they had to do is work up the courage. The prey doesn’t fully trust the pred afterall. They can't after what happened, and what they know the pred is doing to other preds. It's not illegal, technically, if sufficient evidence is found that it truly was in spontaneous aid to a caught prey. But it's not spontaneous. And the pred isn't going to court.

But the pred did say that it was ok to ask for help, even for the 'small' things. Not once have they made them feel like they were anything other than a person...a dear friend. Right. A dear friend. It would be fine.

So they ask to listen to the pred's stomach one weekend. The pred is flustered, confused, stoic face twisted up into a look something like they just got slapped in the face with a fish. Which would be funny, if the prey's heart wasn't trying to run out of their chest from nerves. They quietly explain what they mean to the pred, and the pred's eyes soften in understanding, face unscrunching into something once again unreadable.

The pred is...awkward. If the prey wasn't wholly consumed with their own worries, they would've picked up on the pred's rigid stance as fears of their own...They can't remember the last time someone had touched without the intention to hurt, or to take. And they need to be calm, or their big prey friend will be on edge and that would defeat the point. And their friend deserves to feel safe. Heaven help anyone who takes that away.

They set up in the living room. A cushiony chair is pulled up - a small couch really - and they somehow maneuver the pred to sit in it and the prey to kneel without saying a word. Lots of awkward shuffling, and a pillow for the prey's knees later, and the prey is nosing into the pred's stomach gently.

It's tense underneath their face, and the prey can hear the pred's breath hitch when they first make contact. Slowly, the pred relaxes into the touch, when pain doesn't come. The pred still grips the seat like a lifeline. (It's dizzying, to be so vulnerable, and to do it on purpose)

Then, the prey takes a breath, and presses their ear to the rumbling gut beneath them (it was just before lunch, like they planned). It whined and begged and burbled, warm and hungry. It sends a cold jolt of fear through them, making them freeze. It sounds so loud, so needy, just like it was when it was all around them that night when the acids started flowing in -

Tears are wiped away before they even know it exists. The pred strokes a finger gently through the fur between their eyes, hesitant but firm. They hush the prey, remind them that it's safe. They can stop if they need to. They don't even have to do this at all. They sound close to tears themself. The prey looks up into their face.

The gaze is piercing as it always is. But not unkind. They really would stop if the prey gave the word. They'd get up and get on with their days, and the prey wouldn't be just a meal stewing away inside their pred friend. The pred is more hungry for the tofu in the fridge than them, and their pred is a full head shorter anyways. Even if they wanted to, their pred couldn't take them past the point of no return.

(They wonder what it's like to be so short. Preds were usually a head taller than the prey or more. Perhaps their pred isn't a vegetarian by choice at all - they can't catch anyone being so small. They might also not be quick and strong and lethal by choice either...it must be easy to confuse the pred for a prey, or it might not functionally matter to some)

Armed with this knowledge, the prey nuzzles back in without a word. Their pred's breath hitches again, and comes out shaky when the prey snakes a hand upwards to run their thumb gently over their clothed lower belly. The same comforting little circles that their pred had been rubbing between their eyes a moment ago. They tense along with the motion, and the prey goes rigid again as the wet glorps roar again under their sensitive ears, announcing to the world just how much their pred's tummy was enjoying the attention (even if it would prefer attention from the inside at the moment). The prey counts the pred's climbing heartbeat, and stubbornly holds on even as they (both) shake in restrained fear. As the hour passes, they've never felt so safe and yet so afraid.

They decide that it's been a productive day, schedule another encounter next weekend, and break for lunch. No, the prey did not eat the last of the tofu, thank you very much. They much prefer the beansprouts anyways.

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kyeterna · 1 year ago

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Very long post explaining whether i could win in a fight against (a portion of) my oc's or not.

Every iteration of my sona Kyeterna (even the csmp ones): I am getting my ass beat, especially by Mordei, next-

Renacinis: I would never raise a hand against this angel, even if held at gunpoint

Jau: I am sent to the ER

Emi: I can probably beat that nerd. Maybe.

Katsuo: Yes.

Dom: I am beating that twink up, they have no chances against me

Damon: In terms of pure physical strength, I think we would be equal, so hard to tell. And the fact that he is smart and annoying could swing the favour either way.

Ropho: I could NEVER hit a child, even if it is a robot. So I am getting my ass beat.

Nannybot: I am losing. 100%

Veronica: I would never raise my hand against a woman. No don't look at the previous nor the following entries-

Nick: Can I beat a 27 year old tired salaryman? I mean to be fair I could probably just intimidate him by my glare, I have done that to a man twice his age and size

Cassidy: her? yeah. The eldritch being that follows her around? NO.

Savantha: I would love her to beat me up. But she wouldn't do it. She's too kind. But she could. I would love her to. But she w-

Carrots: that kid is giving me rabies during the fight. Could i defeat them? Sure, but with all those bites I am definitely contracting a disease so who is the real winner here.

Noxatra: I am destroying her. Even if she uses magic I am so destroying her both mentally and physically. Bro's built like a twig, I will snap her in half

Irene Chronidi Star Team: I am so losing. It's so over.

Yvhris: I think I could take her. But she is sooo cute, I'd rather just hug her

K.A. (Universe Building Tutorial): Hahah she has no chance of winning against me

Dennis (UniBTut): a close call, but he does defeat me in the end.

Kali (UniBTut): I would gladly do it.

Gondeil Aspirations

Caroline: I am so dead

Rei: I lose, but we could become great friends in the process so do I really lose?

Leo: I wanna say I would beat his ass but no, I am losing unless he decides to be too silly and gets himself into an accident mid fight, defeating himself.

Mary: I am so dead

actually I am losing against all the characters in Gondeil Aspirations there is no point in continuing this list-

Impossible Wish

Ikaros: in the beginning of the story? Yeah. By the end? NOOOOOOOOOO

Iliana: I am lucky if I even survive all the burns I am getting

Syphos: in a physical fight absolutely, but he would find a way to put me in tons of debt to loansharks without my knowledge so like I am losing in life.

Claire: I am so beating her ass, nerd.

Charis: I am NOT surviving those burns

Shindag: I die from a heart attack before the fight even starts because of how intimidating he is

Search Party of Four

Dimitra: I AM DEFEATING THIS NERD GLORIOUSLY

Kassandra: I am leaning towards no, mostly because she could probably compell me to give up and then she'd punch me, knocking me out

Roza: She will break bones of mine

Lucy: I am running towards her to throw the first punch. From a car passing by, a banana peel is thrown right in front of my feet. "That is weird" I think and widen my step just enough as to not step on it. Little did I know that right where i was about to step was a puddle of oil on marble. My foot slips, I lose my balance and do a split. That damages my muscles as I am not flexible enough. The sudden surge of pain causes me to faint, hitting my head on a very conveniently placed glass box, causing it to break and cut my face badly. Lucy has not moved at all from the beginning, as she is watching me terrified.

Ioanna: I win

Clients from Hell:

I will be 100 emoji with you, I am beating the asses of every single human lawyer there. I stand no chance against any angel or demon. I rest my case

Exokosmoi:

I can probably beat those two nerds (<- a fool)

Cards Swords and Cups:

If magic is allowed to be used, I lose, if not, I can beat everyone there. Ok maybe not Helen, she is kind a physically strong... But like Marjorie has no chance against these hands.

#texterna #kyeterna oc #I was gonna make a visual graph but finding pictures of every single one person mentioned here would be hard af #i also didnt bother including every single named character from some of these stories because.... they are a lot.....#I have so many characters....

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crsinclair · 2 years ago

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so here's the scoop

Actually before that, I wanna say that I've participated in the Erasermic Omegaverses Zine this year, can't remember if I yelled about that on here? I was a fic writer for that - if you like Erasermic and like ABO, here's the link to the collection on Ao3! Mind the tags on the individual fics, please! ANYWAY. I've had. A fucking. Time. Kinda a rant and also an explanation for why I've been absent and also why I linked my kofi at the bottom of this. A lot of shit happened!🙃 This summer, my Papa passed away. I loved him. I really did. He was funny, kind, and he took shit from absolutely no one. If it hadn't been him I would have said I wasn't going to go help out and I was just going to go to the funeral. But it was him, so I told my friends that I was going back to the city, and I was going to help settle everything, pack his things, etc, because I loved him. I should have stayed home. First of all, my family treated me like free labor and like shit while I was there to help out. Second of all, I got into a car accident on the way to the funeral and the guy who hit me tried to intimidate me into not calling the police before driving off - and yes, I was injured. Third, my family "expressed concern" over my injury and then proceeded to have me write the obituary, decorate the funeral room alone, and asked me to be a pallbearer while injured. I could go into so much more detail but I'll spare you the horror of My Family™️. I'm honestly surprised I made it home without collapsing. AND ON THAT NOTE: A week later, I did collapse. Dramatically, and with flair. I was recovering from both whiplash, grief, and having to spend time with My Family™️ and over at my friend's grandmother's house when suddenly I didn't feel well. I stood up to splash some water on my face, got into the restroom, realized, "Hm, this is more serious than Not Feeling Well, I should tell someone Right Fucking Now," wobbled back into the other room, told the grandmother that something was wrong, and then proceeded to collapse to the ground and have a heart attack. After that, my heart rate would not calm the fuck down and I had wild heart palpitations for the next seven hours! Yes, I went to the hospital. I have been to the hospital twice more after that, had several more doctor appointments, have had several tests done (including a Tilt Table test, which 0/10, do not recommend), and there's plenty more that I could talk about (like the Tilt Table test, though I might just make a TikTok account for just to rant about that akdhfa it's both not funny and FUNNY), but what it all boils down to is this: I have a very, very severe case POTS all of a sudden and my doctor is still trying to figure out what the hell caused it. Currently I'm trying for disability benefits because I legitimately cannot work - my sleep schedule is fucked, my energy levels are all over the place, I can't stand for long at all without fainting and I can't sit for varying length of time without the same. I hate to even do this, but I'm a broke bitch who has medical bills for tests and operations (god I have one in just a few days and I am NOT looking forward to it) that I can't pay for because I don't have insurance, so: Here's my kofi page if you'd like to buy me a coffee or help me not stress about the multiple doctors visits I have every month!

I do have, like, actual things I want to talk about other than "Oh this is what I've been up to - BEING SICK" - like the cute EMic fics I have in the works, the Cheeky Brat fic I've been working on and haven't been talking about on here because it's 🤭 e x p l i c i t (teehee) and even my DnD shit that is mostly entirely self indulgent but I don't care I'm going to shove it in your faces anyway.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to. I've posted about a good portion of this on Twitter, so I know some of you guys know about this, but I wanted to give Tumblr a heads up that I am bed ridden and Doing My Best.😫

#ravyn rants #yeesh it's been a r i d e #health problems #life update #i hate asking for help #and asking for money #but i acknowledge that i am rubbing together imaginary pennies at this point #any help that can be given would be very appreciated #i might even do tiny doodles in return #tiny ones #chibi #ravyn rants in the tags #anyway also go check out the omegaverses zine fics they're all great #and some of them have the art in them!!#good stuff good stuff

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praeteritus-memories-muses · 9 months ago

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Name: Jotaro Kujo

Series: Jojo's Bizarre Adventures

Continuity: Anime / Canon divergent ending

Age: 17 - 28 - 40

Height: 6'5"

Birthday: February 11th 1970

Birthplace: Japan

Orientation: Pansexual

Species: Human / Stand user

Occupation: Marine Biologist

Father: Sadao Kujo

Mother: Holly Joestar-Kujo

Children: Jolyne and Jouta Kujo

Stand: Star Platinum

Bio:

Jotaro was born to Holly Joestar-Kujo and Sadao Kujo in the early February morning. Compared to his personality now, you would almost have a hard time believing that Jotaro even had a happy childhood but he did. He was spoiled endlessly with affection by his mother and always found himself laughing and smiling all the time. Yet overtime, perhaps because of his growing need for affection from his busy father, who was a jazz musician always on tour, Jotaro slowly started to become introverted.

He always loved books, especially on marine life, but he'd start to slowly distance himself more and more from kids just as soon as he turned seventeen. It was likely just his own teenage hormones and pent up frustrations with his father, but he turned into a delinquent with a brilliant mind and secretly a heart of gold just like all his ancestors. Though mysteriously, Jotaro noticed that every time he punched - there was something behind him.

Believing he was processed by an evil spirit, Jotaro locked himself up to protect his mother in case this thing wanted to kill her. He insisted he stay in jail, only for his grandfather to step in and tell him that it wasn't a ghost but a stand. Reluctant as ever, it was only until losing a fight to his grandfather's friend that Jotaro stepped out of the cell and where he was brought back home where his grandfather explained why he suddenly had a stand.

At first, Jotaro was fine living his life as normal with the knowledge he had a stand until the curse of the Joestar bloodline, no thanks to Dio, had his mother develop a stand too. Unlike Jotaro, who had the resolve to use a stand, his mother wasn't the kind of person to handle one. Her stand was killing her from the inside and only had 50 days left to live unless they killed Dio.

Out of love for his mother and guilt for what happened to his newly made friend, Noriaki Kakyoin, Jotaro would set out to Egypt with his grandfather and companions to go and kill Dio. It took them roughly 49 days to reach Cairo, Egypt and locate where Dio was hiding in the city of pyramids.

The final night until his mother died had began, Jotaro at only seventeen years old managed to kill Dio by both sheer luck and his own deep determination to save his mother and newly made friends. Though not without injuries, Jotaro was severely injured by the fight and only the high of adrenaline kept him from fainting.

It wasn't like he mentally came out alright either. Kakyoin died in the fight along with Avdol and Iggy, which definitely left mental scars in Jotaro's mind. He had his regrets, mostly that he wished he could've told them how much he truly appreciated them.

Once he returned home from Egypt, he managed to mellow out a lot from his teenage anger and started to openly be nicer to his mother. Jotaro would surprise everyone at graduation though by being at the top of his class despite his intimidating presense still.

After high school, he moved to America to study marine biology in California. Though things went smooth the first year, things hit a complicated bump in the road when a woman caught Jotaro's eye. He had terrible experience in dating before as he absolutely despises noisy girls who wanted to be his cheerleader, this woman was calm like the ocean. Safe to say Jotaro fell in love with her and a year later, they had a daughter together named Jolyne. They even had gotten married when she was still pregnant with Jolyne. His daughter's name came from a Dolly Parton song he and his wife heard on the way to the hospital, despite it's sad meaning, they both liked the name so much that they decided in the car that her name would be Jolyne.

Once Jotaro and this woman graduated college, they moved to Florida together where they'd raise Jolyne. Yet things did not work out between them. Although they had a son two years into their marriage, named Jouta, things didn't work out between them. Jotaro couldn't tell her about stands and the entirety of his work with the Speedwagon foundation in erasing Dio's legacy so it caused problems between them, resulting in a divorce when Jolyne was 4.

They had split custody of Jolyne and Jouta, with his ex-wife seeing their daughter more only because Jotaro has family business to deal with thanks to the Speedwagon Foundation and the mess of the Joestar bloodline. As his grandfather is getting up there in age, even showing signs of memory loss and weak perception, Jotaro decided to help him by looking at his will for him. It was only while going over his grandfather's assets in the will that he discovered that he had an illegitimate child 16 years ago, meaning Jotaro had an uncle. He was of course absolutely furious at his grandfather, considering he swore his wife of 60 years was his one and only and Jotaro's own bitterness towards his own marriage going south, but at least he managed to cool down once he met the kid. His name was Josuke and he was actually a pretty sweet kid, perhaps a little reminded of what he could've been like had he not chosen to be a complete brat at his age.

Jotaro would stay in the town Josuke lived in, Morioh-Cho, for about six months. All the while, he was working on his doctorate thesis and calling his daughter often to make sure she was doing okay. Though Jotaro isn't around a lot physically for her, he does at least try his damn hardest to make sure she felt that he was there for her unlike his own. Though he could never take her with him on expeditions like this. It was way too dangerous for a child to get involved and that trauma of losing those he cares for nearly twenty years ago still stung the back of his mind. Not to mention, Morioh had to deal with a serial killer and someone giving random people the power of stands just for an attempt to fix his own father.

Though Jotaro may seem cold, intimidating, bitter and rude - the truth is that he's actually quite shy, a man of few words and very sweet. He does have a lot of love in his heart, perhaps just as much as his great-grandfather did, the only difference is he has trouble showing that. Ever since he was a teenager, he always struggled showing his emotions to others and years of unresolved trauma didn't help matters.

Jotaro is currently single, often living between Florida or Japan depending on where work calls him. He's a doctorate now in marine biology and is currently investigating everything Dio left behind even all these years later. As surprising as it is, the evil vampire left a lot behind after his death.

Jotaro's stand is Star Platinum. It has a pretty short range of a few meters/feet, but it makes up for that short range in high precision and combat. A single punch can send a man in the hospital for weeks, let alone the barrage of punches that Star Platinum is known for doing. He can also extend his finger but this requires Jotaro to stand perfectly still because of it's concentration required. One last thing, Jotaro can temporarily stop time with his stand though it isn't for long. At most, truly pushing his stand to it's limits, he can stop time for two seconds but he's always attempting to try and extend that time.

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corcedo · 3 years ago

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the second someone tells kazimir his scent makes it obvious he’s non - human is the moment he goes back to his perfume phase. but he wears those dark, ominous perfumes that start with a strong initial scent and the after scent is milder but makes it even more ominous. as though the devil is approaching you in a handsome form ready to strike you a deal.

#the perfumes i'm referring to are ''tyrannosaurus rex'' by zoologist or if he's feeling extra expensive ''the night'' by frederic malle #don't ask how i know what those smell like just know that if you smell them it gives the same vibe as #meeting a very powerful person that's gonna make you sign a shitty contract and suddenly you're working for the mob.#so like. kind of intimidating but mostly just not for the faint of heart #heaven knows i love the scents but i had people cross the street when i wore them #also if he hates you and knows you have a sensitive nose he's wearing oudh infini have fun with that it'll either kill people with anosmia #or cure their anosmia lmfao #( HC // i am in chains. do not touch my chains : kazimir )

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open--till--midnight · 3 years ago

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Run Ins

eskel x gn!reader

summary | you meet the witcher of your dreams during your first winter at kaer morhen

warnings | pining obv its my writing, no plot just pining and fluff, my specialty

wc | 3.9k

a/n i was at 2k words and i was on fire then i lost all traction, well not really but idk, this story literally wrote itself. This thing has no plot :)

***

Your presence in Kaer Morhen was less than necessary. You weren’t a witcher, and you certainly didn’t fit in. And while you did know your way around a sword, you didn’t bring anything to the table, especially a table full of witchers.

It was a confusing situation that led you to the witcher’s keep this winter. You had hired the witcher to help you track down a group of bandits who had robbed and killed your family. It took a while, tracking them from town to town. And after you found them you just kind of stayed with him. He didn’t seem to mind and if he did, he never said anything.

You were happy with your new life. More than happy. But now things were different.

The previous winter you hadn’t made the trip to Kaer Morhen. Geralt hadn’t actually told you about the keep until he told you that you would be joining him. You thought it was just because he didn’t trust you, but Geralt knew that it was just because he didn’t want to separate from you. He valued your company and even considered you a friend, but the keep was a well-guarded secret to him and he hadn’t been ready to share it.

But now that he had, you were honored. And nervous. As much as you trusted Geralt, he was certainly still intimidating. He was a witcher after all. And the thought of being stuck in a deteriorating keep with a handful of other witchers intimidated you. Very much so. The only consoling thoughts were of your friendship with Geralt and the bard, Dandelion who would be joining you.

The great hall greeted you with some much-needed warmth. The frozen snow covering you quickly dissolved. Vesemir was the first to greet you, his open arms embraced Geralt and his hand outstretched to take yours. A nervous smile spread on your face and you were sure he could notice the faint tremble in your hand. He smiled back anyway, and certainly, he understood your predicament.

When Lambert entered the room, Dandelion was already making himself at home, breaking out his lute and spreading out on the bench at the table. The young witcher greeted you less than warmly, pretty much just a grunt in your direction before grabbing a far too full mug of ale.

Comfortable small talk filled the room. You learned that there were two more witchers coming for the winter. Coen and Eskel. Coen hadn’t been coming to Kaer Morhen for very long, but Eskel had grown up here.

Coen entered soon after they told you this, and he greeted you warmly before taking a seat opposite you. The mood in the great hall heightened exponentially with each addition, even Lambert had opened up to you.

By now, your nerves had completely died down, but then there was the loud bang of the keep doors opening.

“Wolf!” Your eyes followed Geralt as he stood from the bench and walked behind you to the final witcher. And when you saw him, your heart stopped. Your breath hitched and you had to turn around before anyone noticed how flustered you had become.

You did have to turn back around when you heard Geralt begin to introduce you. He stretched out his large hand and you took it in your hot one. It was a quick interaction before he took the seat next to you.

With a little more ale, your nerves, once again, died down. Though the presence of the broad-chested witcher beside you never truly let them fizzle out completely. His voice filled you up in a way you couldn’t describe and his laugh made you feel like you could fly. Out of the corner of your eye, his scarred hand raised and lowered his mug. You wanted to memorize the sight of it.

Geralt had cut you off about an hour ago, you weren’t known to hold your alcohol very well. It mostly ended in nights of the witcher comforting you while you sobbed, or yelled. You would remember to thank him for that later.

When Geralt saw you yawn, he excused you for the night, leading you to one of the only semi-livable rooms in the keep. He lit the fire with his sign and sat at the end of your bed.

“You doing ok?”

“Mhm. They’re all very nice.” You weighed your choice of adjectives for a moment after speaking, and Geralt laughed.

“That’s certainly….a word.”

“Well, ok, Lambert was nice once he was drunk. The others were wonderful.”

Geralt nodded, choosing not to bring up your strange behavior brought about by a certain witcher. That would be a conversation for another time. And besides, he was curious to see how flustered you would let yourself become in the meantime.

“I’ll be in the main hall if you need anything, ok? Don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, y/n.”

And with that, Geralt left the room, leaving you in the warm comfort of the small stone room. The sheets below you must have been freshly washed, you wondered if this room belonged to someone else. But you didn’t have the energy to put any more thought into it, you had all winter for that, so you tucked yourself under the covers and promptly fell asleep.

You didn’t wake until late the next day when Geralt came in to check on you. Up until then, and to your surprise, your sleep had been deep and uninterrupted.

“You’re alive?”

You groaned, pulling your arm up to shield the rays of sun Geralt had unleashed into the room.

“Good. Probably be a good idea to get up.”

You repeated his words in a high-pitched voice, leaning your head further back into your pillow.

“Leave you to it, I guess.”

When Geralt closed the door, you sighed. You didn’t know how you would react to another run-in with Eskel. You felt silly, like a child with a crush. And you hardly knew him. It was one night and you hadn’t even really talked to him.

So with a soft grunt, you got up, pulled on some clothes, and left your room. The hall was colder than your room, far colder, and you couldn’t hold back the shiver that overtook you. You were thankful that none of the witchers were there to see, the gods only knew how little the cold affected them. The more you had of these thoughts, the more insignificant you felt. You were only human, after all.

You made your way to the kitchen, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were up until you got there. The growling in your stomach told you as much. There was dried fish in one of the barrels, and figuring that it was good enough, you reached inside.

“I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

Turning around you were faced with the terrifyingly handsome witcher.

“Wha- Why not?”

“Lambert drops bombs in the lake and waits for the fish to float to the top. Safe to say, they probably aren’t the safest to eat.”

“Oh, good call.”

Eskel turned around and opened a cabinet door, taking out a glass jar full of what looked like a broth. He took a great risk in tossing it to you, but thanks to your quick reflexes, you caught it. But just barely.

“Thanks.”

He also tossed you a roll of bread before getting himself some food and sitting down at the table. You sat across from him after getting a spoon. After setting the bread on a plate, you went to open the jar. You had no luck. You tried again, still it didn’t budge.

“Do you want some help?”

“Could you?”

Eskel opened the jar embarrassingly easily. He smirked when he handed it back to you. It wasn’t a teasing gesture, you could tell that much. If you didn’t know any better, you would have guessed it was an anxious smile.

You both ate in comfortable silence. Every so often a glance was exchanged with sweet, friendly smiles. When you had finished eating, Eskel spoke.

“Geralt mentioned you’re skilled with a sword, that true?”

“I guess so. I mean, he lets me come on hunts with him, if that says anything.”

“It certainly does. We should spar sometime, I’d like to see you fight.”

You held back a cough, eyes trying so hard not to widen. “I’d like that very much.” You wouldn’t. How were you supposed to spar with skill with him right in front of you? You’d always found men fighting attractive. You were fucked. Most definitely.

Your conversation was cut short when Lambert burst through the door, causing you to jump. Eskel shot you an amused look before turning back to his brother.

“-ah fuck it.” Eskel chose not to fight with him this time.

“Well, well, well. The human’s here.”

“I’ll take that as my cue.”

“Oh, come on. You don’t have to. Lambert will shut his trap. Won’t he?” Lambert scoffed at the glare the other witcher sent him.

“I should actually find Geralt now. Thank you. Bye.”

Thank you, bye? You felt foolish. Your self-depreciation was interrupted by Lambert’s booming voice coming through the kitchen door.

“Oh, you are sick, brother.”

“Shove off.”

“Geralt will never let that happen, you know that.”

“Shut up, please.”

You hadn’t a clue as to what they were talking about, so you moved on, searching through this labyrinth of a keep for Geralt. He was outside, sitting on a stone wall, feet hanging off, beside him, Dandelion.

“You need to let me, Geralt. It’s only fair.”

“You freeze the second you see combat, bard. Do you really think you could handle a sword? Moreover, fight a monster with said sword?”

“Geralt, my friend, you underestimate me.” He paused, “Ah, y/n. You’re here. Maybe you can help us end this dispute.”

“I’m staying out of it. Sorry, Dandelion, but I have no interest in getting on either of your bad sides.”

“Nonsense.”

“Uh uh.”

That day, Geralt had nothing for you to do. So you spent your time exploring the keep, inside and out. Almost three times you got lost. Once outside, and two inside. At least when you were outside, you could see the keep’s walls and get a bearing that way. Inside was a different story completely.

The sun would soon set, so you made your way inside where you found Dandelion and Lambert already sitting at the table in the great hall. Vesemir joined soon after you sat down. You assumed that Geralt and Eskel were getting dinner ready to be served and you were proven right when they did just that.

Geralt was pleased to note that you got along with everybody, you even somehow won Lambert over. He also noted how Eskel’s eyes only ever left your form when you would glance his way. Both of which had been common that night.

Eskel had made a quiet joke about Lambert’s fish at which you laughed, Geralt had been the only one to hear it. For most of the night, even after dinner, Dandelion told stories of the events that passed over the past two years. He embellished them, incredibly so, but still, you said nothing of it.

Just like the last, this night Geralt led you back to your room and lit your fire. He watched you as you moved about the room, pulling back the sheets on the bed and getting your sleep clothes out. He had been worried he would regret taking you to his home. Whether it was you disliking it there or if you didn’t get along with his makeshift family. But that was nothing he should be worrying about, you did like it here and you did get along with everybody. Geralt was happier than he had been in a long time.

You had let go of the same worries that day. If it hadn’t been for Eskel, you would have none. But you figured you should be happy for what really mattered. You were comfortable, you felt safe.

Geralt said goodnight and left you to get changed and crawl into bed. You lay staring at the ceiling for the better part of an hour before falling asleep. You had never felt this way before, and you didn’t really know how to label this emotion. If it was an emotion at all.

He filled you with fire, and you couldn’t put it out even if you wanted to. Your stomach did flips when you looked at him. All you knew was that you wanted to spend as much time with him as you could.

Before you could understand your mind had run off without you. You pictured yourself on the Path, as you were with Geralt. But it wasn’t Geralt beside you, it was Eskel. You imagined the way his lips would feel against yours, how the weight of his weathered hand would feel on your waist. These thoughts made you feel guilty, not that you knew why they did, but they plagued you until you fell asleep. A restless sleep, too.

The halls never got any warmer. Every morning you were greeted with the same. It had been two weeks since your first morning and every single time you neglected to wear something warmer.

This morning, you got up early, before the sun rose, and headed to the kitchen. On the way there, you couldn’t stop your shivering. It was subtle but steady, and incredibly uncomfortable. Your feet shuffled on the stone floor, meaning you couldn’t hear the footsteps gaining on you from behind.

“You’re headed to the kitchen?”

“Oh!” You laughed once you saw who it was, now embarrassed at your yelp. “Yes, I am. I woke up hungry this morning.”

“You’re freezing.” You nodded. “Come. Wait in the library, it’s much warmer than the kitchen and the great hall. I’ll bring you food.”

Eskel opened the door for you, then moved to light the fire. You would never cease to be amazed at the witcher signs. When he left you wrapped yourself in one of the blankets draped over one of the couches before sitting in front of the fire. You hummed to yourself while you waited, a song your mother used to sing to you when you were little. It was all that you had left of her, that and a thin silver chain you wore around your neck.

Eskel heard your humming, not wanting to interrupt the sound, he waited outside for a moment. His sharp hearing let him hear you perfectly. When you were done, he waited one more minute before pushing the door open.

“Sorry, Lambert held me up.”

“No worries.” Your smile lit a fire in him, similar to the one you held for him. “Are you always up this early? I didn’t think any- oh, wait, nevermind. Geralt always gets up before the sun rises. I guess it’s no different with the rest of you, is it?”

“It is not. We don’t get much sleep anyway.”

You wanted to ask him why, but he looked so tired and you didn’t want to push. So you opted to take him up on his earlier request.

“Do you want to practice today?”

“Gladly.” Gods his smile could kill you.

You instantly regretted your decision when you were in the yard. The sun, despite the fact that it was winter, was unrelenting. Eskel tossed you a wooden sword and prepared himself to fight.

To your surprise, you did well. Out of five rounds, you managed to win two of them. Eskel was thoroughly impressed, for a human to beat a witcher, well, that was a big deal.

“I give the credit to Geralt. He’s a great teacher.”

“Yeah, but he’s not the one that just beat me.” Eskel wiped his forehead with his arm before taking your swords and putting them away. “Just take the compliment, y/n.”

“Yes, fine. Thank you.”

“You know, you wouldn’t be so hot if you wore something other than black.”

You made a mocking noise at him before opening the keep doors for the two of you. The cold air hit you and almost instantly cooled you.

“Maybe that’s why you and Geralt get along so well. It’s all the black.”

You were suddenly overcome with doubts. “You don’t think it’s too much, do you?”

“Not at all. It’s your color.” If Eskel’s heart could beat any faster, his face would be red as a radish.

And when your cheeks felt as hot as the sun, you realized you couldn’t respond.

You didn’t see Eskel again until dinner, where he once again sat next to you. No words were spoken, but his presence comforted you, as yours did to him.

You and Geralt had created a routine in him taking you to your room and lighting your fire every night. Sometimes he would stay a while and talk with you, others he would simply hug you and leave.

Tonight, you had been drinking, maybe too much. Geralt had neglected to cut you off tonight, he had been too engrossed in his Gwent game to notice your inebriated state. When he took you to your room he had to carry you, your balance was less than mediocre and you had fallen over twice before even making out of the great hall.

Geralt helped you into bed after taking off your shoes, but you sat straight up again and held onto his wrist.

“What’s wrong?”

“Geralt, I’m sick.”

“No, you’re just drunk. It’ll pass.”

“Uh uh. That’s not what I mean. I love him so much it hurts. So so bad.”

Geralt was now holding you in his arms while you sobbed.

“Who?”

“Eskel! Who else, Geralt.”

Geralt didn’t know what to say. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed anything sooner.

“Do you want me to tell him?”

“No, no, no, no. Pleeease no.”

Geralt didn’t say anything more that night. He held you close and ran his hand down the side of your face until you fell asleep. He slept in your chair that night and he was still there when you woke up.

“What are you doing?”

His eyes were still closed, but he spoke with a smirk. “Sleeping.”

“Why here? Oh fuck, I feel sick.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens, y/n. You should know this by now. Speaking of, you said something to me last night, well, more like a confession.” You quirked your head at him, a request to go on. “You said you loved Eskel. That true?”

Your laugh was hesitant and nervous. Part of you was glad someone knew, but hearing it out loud made it so much scarier.

“I’ll take that as my answer. Alright.”

Geralt left the room, leaving you wide-eyed and mouth open. A dazed smile crossed your face and it didn’t leave until you reached the great hall. The rest of the witchers were sitting at the table eating breakfast. As always, you sat next to Eskel.

This morning, he smiled at you immediately, moving over so you could take your usual spot between him and Geralt.

Later that day, you were helping Geralt in the lab, making a supply of Swallow.

“You look tired, y/n.”

“Ya, sorta.”

“Is this about what you told me?”

“Maybe. I just need some time to myself I think. I’ll probably go up to the tower and sit for a while, maybe I’ll bring a book along too.”

“I can finish up here alone if you want to go, that is.”

“Thanks, Geralt.”

By the time you made it up to the tower, you couldn’t keep yourself together. A few tears left your eyes only to be caught by your sleeve. It had been only a month, you felt foolish to feel this much for a man you’d only known that long. Sure you’d had conversations, but nothing warranting love. This was just a crush, that’s all.

Your thinking was interrupted by the scrape of a candle holder falling and being caught. When you turned, Eskel was standing, holding the brass candle holder and smiling a bit too wide.

“Oh, hi. You scared me a little bit.”

“Sorry about that.” Eskel looked at his hands and put the candle holder back and then clenched them at his sides. “What are you doing up here?”

“What are you doing up here?”

“Geralt said you would be here.”

He had asked Geralt about you. No, no, no, you were overthinking again.

“Oh, yeah. I just needed some alone time.”

“I’m sorry, I can leave.”

“No!” Shit. “No, you can stay, I’m ok now.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” You couldn’t make eye contact with him now, and like always, your face grew unbearably hot. “Maybe you could just… sit with me?”

“Yea, I can do that.”

There was a bed on the other side of the room, so you both sat down. You flinched when Eskel put his arm around you.

“Sorry.”

“No, I like that. I just haven’t- It’s been a while since-” The only physical contact you’ve had in years was with Geralt. The occasional hug or touch while stitching and bandaging and that was it.

“I understand.”

“It just shocked me, that’s all.”

“It’s ok, I promise.”

Eskel put his arm back around you. You were happy about that. But after a while, you both started talking, and eventually, you both sat on the bed facing each other.

“A succubus, are you serious?” You had to choke back a laugh, and you did not do a very good job with it.

“Yea, and fisstech.”

“Wow. And I thought you were a witcher.”

“Then I guess you’re more of a witcher than I am.”

“I’ve got the double swords.”

“And you’ve beaten a witcher in combat, that counts for something.”

Gods, his laugh could kill you. The moment froze in time. The picture of his face pulled in happiness and that deep laugh going directly to your heart. You didn’t even notice when you stopped laughing, the moment of serenity brought you a sense of peace and it caused you to act rashly.

You found yourself moving closer to him, and him closer to you. You could feel the rough pads of his hand on top of yours, and he squeezed lightly. The planes of his face felt weather-worn and scarred when you held him. But his lips were soft when you finally moved to press yours against them.

His hands moved their way up to your upper arms, you didn’t think he noticed how hard he was holding you. You couldn’t bring yourself to care, it enhanced the moment. Your gasps were loud when you pulled apart and smiled at each other. You got lost in his eyes for a moment before he pulled your head under his chin and held you close. You both fell asleep there and woke up in each other’s arms.

#the witcher #eskel #eskel x reader #eskel imagine #eskel fluff #eskel fic #eskel fanfic #lilywrites📝

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 3 years ago

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Part Nineteen. The Bench Trio and Sapnap make Phasmophobia 10000% Funnier

warnings: swearing maybe, word count: 3.5k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

note: wooooo last chapter before... the trip........ be excited >:)

**********

Y/n grimaced in anticipation as she looked at Karl’s wide eyes and open mouth as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He hadn’t said anything in almost a full minute and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take.

“Say something, Karl,” she mumbled as she tugged on the strings of her new, lime green hoodie. She stared at him as he switched between leaning his elbows on the countertop and standing up straight with his palms pressed to it instead.

“I... wh—what?” Karl finally voiced his scattered thoughts, cackling abruptly as he threw his head back and clutching his stomach. “WHAT THE HECK, Y/N?!” He stood up straight and beamed at her, his eyes darting to her hoodie and then to her face. “Dream sent you his own hoodie?? How am I suppo— what in the— WHAT? Is this one his?” His fingers gently tugged at the hem of the material as he stared at it, eyes full of curiosity.

Y/n shook her head, face burning at Karl’s joy and surprise. “This one is just the merch one he sent. His hoodie is… very obviously his.”

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

Y/n laughed lightly before leading him to her room, where the maroon hoodie lay neatly folded on the end of her bed. Karl picked it up and laughed. “It has a Florida thing on it?” he giggled and shook his head, not being able to get enough out of the whole situation and his best friend’s clear embarrassment. “Why aren’t you wearing this one? Too shy to flaunt your boyfriend’s clothes?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she clarified quickly, sending Karl a sideways glance. “But I’m trying to… you know… preserve it.” And because she worried that if she never took it off, she would only get more and more attached to the boy who lived three states away, hundreds of miles from her. She preferred sleeping in it over wearing it around the apartment. It was more comforting that way.

Karl lost it. He cackled maniacally and nearly fell on Y/n’s bed, losing his mind at how stupid the two were. “Preserv—Y/N! If you just tell him you like him, he’ll probably give you a new one when we go to his literal house.”

Y/n’s face heated up even more as she hummed. “About that…”

Karl’s laughter stopped abruptly, wide eyes staring at the girl. “No way.”

Y/n cowered lightly, nodding her head ever so slightly.

Once again, the curly-haired boy acted like he won the lottery. “NO WAY! Y/N, NO WAY! You’re lying, you told him??”

A wide grin spread across her face and she nodded as she recounted the details to him, almost like telling a little kid a fascinating fairytale. Karl’s face was glowing the whole time, his excitement for his best friend clear in his toothy grin and bright eyes.

He nearly tackled her when she finished, her hands tugging roughly at the hoodie strings, but tried to compose himself instead.

“Y/N! THAT’S SO AWESOME!! Wait, wait, wait, so, are you guys, like…?”

She shook her head. “We’re not dating, we’re just two people who like each other who are going to go on a date in…” she paused to the check the date on her phone and her stomach fluttered with excitement, “like, a week??”

Karl laughed and wiggled a little, his excitement nearly bursting at the seams. “Please, can I please give you a celebratory hug?”

Y/n laughed and opened her arms. “Of course.” He jumped at the opportunity, wrapping his arms around her in a huge hug and squeezing tightly. “Wait a minute, I’m mad at you!” she pulled away and Karl’s smile dropped.

“What did I do?”

“You and George knew how Dream and I felt and didn’t tell either of us anything?”

Karl raised his hands in defense. “No, hold on, to be clear, Dream himself didn’t say anything to me until, like, a week ago. I only knew before that because Sapnap and George told me stuff.”

“What the hell, Karl!! Sapnap too?”

“Yeah, of course Dream told him stuff, they live together and are best friends. Why wouldn't he know?”

“You’re all traitors.”

“We were sworn to secrecy! Both of you made us promise to not say anything!”

“That didn't stop you from talking to Sapnap about my feelings?”

“Ah, but I kept my promise and didn't tell Dream… you never said anything about Sapnap.”

Y/n gave him a deadpanned look and crossed her arms over her chest.

Karl paused. “Does it help if I tell you that we talked to Quackity about it too?”

“WHAT?” she snapped, though a small disbelieving laugh chased her words. “What, are you all just talking about us behind our backs? You told Quackity and Sapnap about my crush but you couldn’t have hinted at it to Dream? Or told me you knew how Dream felt?”

“You think I didn’t?” Karl laughed. “I hinted to you about his crush all the time, but you just never believed me!”

Y/n paused, recalling all the times Karl was super encouraging, promising things would work out, and even the times Karl straight up told her he thought Dream liked her. She pouted. “You know that I’m stupid.”

Karl stuck his bottom lip out in a smile. “You are. But you’re also ballsy and finally admitted you like him so all this can be in the past and you don’t have to be mad at me anymore. Right?”

“I’m not actually mad at you, Karl. I am embarrassed that you've told them things I’ve said.”

“Oh, no, no, don't worry. N one of us really explicitly said things you or Dream have said. We all mostly just complained to each other about how stupid you two were being,” he assured. “Well, Sapnap is Sapnap though, so he did tell us some very specific things Dream has ranted to him about regarding you.” He giggled as Y/n’s jaw dropped lightly.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “No, I don’t want it to ‘be in the past’ anymore; I want you to tell me everything Dream has told the others about me.”

“No! That’s private information. You can ask him yourself on your daaateee,” he sang, making her face heat up more.

“I’m going on a date with Dream,” she whispered in disbelief and Karl beamed at her. “Even better, you’ll see him in person in exactly a week.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide. “That’s so soon. Karl, I’m going to faint or something.”

The boy just smiled at her. “You’ll be fine. Naomi and I will hold you up if you need.”

A few days passed and Y/n found herself with her tucked her knees to her chest as she greeted her chat enthusiastically. “Today, it’s gonna be intense. Today we’re playing Phasmophobia!! So if you don’t like scary games or paranormal stuff or anything like that, feel free to not watch and just listen or even close out completely. I don't want anyone to get triggered or be actually scared or anything.”

She watched as hearts flew by in her chat and she smiled.

“Yeah, don't feel bad if you need to leave! But if you do want to stay, it’s going to be super fun and probably very chaotic. Today we’re playing with Sapnap, Ranboo, and Tubbo, and Tommy is in the call but he’s not playing.”

“And me!” Karl said from beside her and she laughed.

“Oh, yeah, and Karl is here in real life because he’s clingy.”

“That’s a lie; Bugsy is terrified so she asked me to be here for emotional support.”

“If I wanted emotional support, I would have asked Naomi to be here instead. You get scared easier than me.”

Karl laughed and looked at her chat

“Okay, so, yeah, remember to leave if you need to and take care of yourselves but I’m going to join vc now!” Y/n unmuted in the call, announcing her presence loudly. She switched her stream screen to the Phasmophobia lobby where her, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Sapnap’s lanky characters walked around aimlessly messing with stuff.

“Hiiii,” Tubbo dragged out sleepily. “Are you ready to be spooked by the scary game, Bugsy?”

“Yes, I'm so ready.”

“The Scary Game,” Ranboo laughed. “Trademark.”

“Hello, Bugsy Games,” Tommy greeted robotically and she laughed, responding in the same voice.

“Hello, Tommy Innit.”

“How are you doing?” His voice was monotonous and reluctant, almost like he was being forced to be nice to her. She knew it was all a joke between them though, as Tommy had come to her for advice about things before.

“I'm doing well, how are you?” she laughed.

“'I'm doing well’,” he mocked. “How pretentious of you to say.”

“TOMMY,” Sapnap called out. Her nerves spiked at the new knowledge that Sapnap knew more than she had told him about her feelings for Dream. Not that he would ever say anything on a livestream in front of tens of thousands of people, but it still made her nervous. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO HER?”

“I'm not scared of you, big man,” Tommy explained. “I will say what I want to Bugsy and you can't do anything about it.”

“What about me and Sapnap combined?” Karl asked from her side. “We are the BugsyGames protection squad.”

“I think George is on it, too,” Sapnap declared.

“Can we be part of the protection squad?” Tubbo asked. “We can intimidate people with Ranboo’s height.”

“I'm the least terrifying person you will meet,” Ranboo claimed. “I am only tall.”

“I'm not scared of any of you,” Tommy assured. “I will continue to say mean things to Bugsy if I feel like it.”

“Okay, but you might be scared of someone we know, though. Someone who lives with me?” Sapnap hinted obviously. Everyone, including chat – who were spamming the name of that certain someone – knew who Sapnap was referring to. Someone, who the mere mention of, made Y/n’s face heat up.

Tommy went quiet for a moment before mumbling close to his mic, “I'm sorry, Bugsy, you are not pretentious. You are actually a very kind person.”

She absolutely loved the fact that so many of their friends, joking or not, knew that Dream cared about her so much. Had it really been obvious all along, even to someone like Tommy?

“You're a menace to society, Tommy.” She smiled to herself as Karl laughed.

Tommy sputtered in surprise. “WHAT!”

“Are you guys ready to play?” Y/n asked as she went to the whiteboard in the game to start.

“Yes, let’s go!!!” Tubbo cheered.

Phasmophobia was eventful to say the least. Between Ranboo’s panic, Sapnap’s screams, Karl’s cackling laughter, Tommy yelling as he watched the stream, and Tubbo being blissfully unbothered by all of it, Y/n could barely catch her breath between laughing fits.

An outside observer might have thought the group was insane, and she felt bad for her chat having to put up with the obnoxious screams and cursing each other out, but it was the most fun she had had in a long time being able to mess around with this group of chaos she called friends. It only made her more and more excited for the upcoming trip, which was days away now.

“Okay, okay, I think I’m going to end here, is anyone going to stream?” she asked, still giggling from Ranboo’s latest bit involving him crying in the corner of the haunted building.

“I will be,” Ranboo announced.

“Then go start and I’ll raid you,” she offered, leaving him to thank her and leave the voice call to start his stream.

“Okay, thank you so much guys for playing! Wait, fit check?” she interrupted herself as her eyes caught the spam going through. “Chat…” Y/n trailed off with a laugh at the end. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but… you can’t see me. How am I supposed to give you a fit check?”

Tommy laughed from the other side of the call.

“Bugsy, does your chat not know you are faceless?” Tubbo joked, making her laugh.

“I-I guess not? Chat, we need to talk…”

“I can give a fit check for them,” Karl offered as he looked up from his phone. “I’ll just describe what you’re wearing.”

Y/n laughed but agreed.

“Do it, Karl,” Sapnap encouraged. “Feed the Bugsy stans. Then send me a fit check picture of you, Karl.”

Karl laughed. “Okay,” he said distractedly as he looked at Y/n. “She’s wearing, uh...”

“Can you even see her outfit or does she have the comforter around her like always?” Tommy asked, half genuine, half mocking.

“Actually, she doesn’t because she has her new hoodie on. So that, and just, like, black pants. And fuzzy socks.”

Y/n held her breath as she looked down and realized what hoodie she was wearing. The good one. Normally it was reserved for sleeping in, but she wanted the extra comfort it provided while she played Phasmophobia. Any hoodie would have done, but having Dream’s clothing wrapped around her body gave her an extra level of security that she was too embarrassed to ever admit aloud.

“New hoodie?” Sapnap asked. “Give the people some more info, Karl. What does it look like?” She couldn’t tell if there was malice behind his words or if he was genuinely curious. Did he know about Dream sending her one of his hoodies? They were roommates after all, Sapnap had to know, right? Especially since Y/n now knew that Dream told Sapnap a lot.

Karl looked at her with a huge grin, knowing exactly where the piece came from. “Yeah, super new. It has a Flori—”

“It’s just red,” she said quickly, giving Karl a wide-eyed look.

“Oh?” Tubbo asked. “W-why did you sound so suspicious? What kind of red?”

“Suspicious?” she scoffed. “What’s suspicious about a hoodie?” she paused before adding quieter, “And.... it’s maroon.”

“Interesting…” Sapnap said, his smile clear in his voice. He knew. He definitely knew.

The accusatory tone of his voice paired with Karl hiding his giggles behind his hand made Y/n pull her collar over her face in embarrassment. The action only caused the lingering smell on the material to fill her nose, but she wasn’t necessarily complaining.

“I have a maroon hoodie!” Tubbo related, oblivious alongside Ranboo and Tommy about the teasing going on between her and Sapnap. “What kind is it? Maybe it’s the same one?”

“Tubbo, you should not sound so pleased at the possibility of matching Bugsy,” Tommy sneered and Y/n momentarily forgot about the embarrassment of knowing Sapnap knew.

“Tommy, when we meet, I will personally make sure that you do not have fun.”

“Oh, I’m so excited for that!” Tubbo said obliviously. “It’s going to be so fun!”

Y/n glanced at her chat again and smiled at all the accusations that she was meeting up with some of the other streamers in the call. Little did they know how many of them were not only meeting up, but spending a week and a half vacation together.

“Me too, but chat doesn’t get to know anything about it.”

“Right, right, sorry chat!” Tubbo apologized. “You all are forced to stay out of the loop.”

“Oh, Ranboo went live, I’m going to end. I’ll talk to you guys later! Thanks again for playing!”

“Thanks, Bugsy!” Sapnap said. “It was fun.”

“Bye Bugsy…” Tommy dragged out and she laughed.

“Bye guys,” she said finally and muted, turning her attention back to her stream. “Thanks everyone for watching! And for everyone who donated or subbed or anything like that, thanks! I’ll stream again on Friday but after that I won’t be able to stream for a while, but I do have YouTube videos I will be posting so look out for those!”

She finally ended and turned to Karl after everything was shut off.

“Sapnap definitely knows about the hoodies,” Karl giggled at her expression. “Man’s voice was pure teasing, he knows.”

Y/n laughed and shook her head. “I know! What the heck. Thanks for hanging out with me, by the way.”

“Of course! I like hanging out even if I don’t get to play.”

“Even over your secret friend?”

Karl turned pink. “She’s busy. I’m also still not talking about this.” He stood up and Y/n smiled, dropping the topic.

“Karl, I was joooking.” She followed him out to the kitchen, where Naomi sat typing rapidly on her laptop, most likely cramming for an exam. Y/n’s phone buzzed from her pocket so she pulled it out and couldn’t help the smile or heat that made its way to her face.

Y/n excused herself from the kitchen — where Naomi was still typing furiously and Karl was now thoroughly entertained with something on his phone — to answer the incoming FaceTime call from Dream. She hit accept as she fell on her bed.

“Hi,” she greeted.

“YOU’RE WEARING THE HOODIE I GAVE YOU? HOW EMBARRASSING! HAHA LET’S ALL LAUGH AT Y/N FOR WEARING MY HOODIE!!”

Y/n frowned at his joke and hit the red end button underneath Dream’s face. Her screen defaulted back to her home screen before a new call lit up.

She answered again. “Are you going to be nice?” she asked, pulling the soft, red material over her face, leaving just her eyes to see Dream’s adorable pout.

“Yes,” he said softly. “Sorry.”

She smiled and released the fabric, showing her whole face again, which made the boy smile.

“Hi.”

“I watched your stream,” he started and she scoffed.

“I know, how else would you have known about the hoodie?”

“Well, Sapnap also texted me so even if I wasn’t, I would have found out.”

Y/n shook her head as her face heated up with embarrassment. She knew the trip was going to be full of teasing from practically the whole group.

“But I was saying I watched your stream and it looked like a lot of fun. Sounded like you had fun, too.”

“I did,” she confirmed. “I love those guys, they’re awesome. I love how everyone just bounces off each other, it’s so funny.”

“I can tell,” Dream laughed, “I haven’t heard you laugh that hard before.”

“Oh gosh, did I sound like a crazy person?”

Dream smiled and rubbed one of his eyes sleepily. “No, well, maybe a little but, like, in a cute way.”

“In a cute way? So I’m crazy but in a cute way? Yeah, okay, Dream.”

“No, I mean, like, your laugh was just super loud and energetic but it wasn’t obnoxious or gross or anything, it was adorable. It’s probably the cutest sound I’ve ever heard.”

“You might be a little biased.”

He hummed as he smiled at his screen for a few seconds. “Maybe a little, but so what?”

“You weren’t supposed to agree to that!” she said.

“Secret’s out that I like you so I get to say things like that now, Bug. As long as it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, I’m going to call everything you do cute.”

“Shut up.”

“Cute.”

Her stern expression broke with a laugh and she hung her head. “Got any ideas about our date yet?”

He smiled widely. “Yes.”

“What are they?”

“You really think I’m going to tell you? Absolutely not. You have to wait.”

“Can you at least tell me what day? You’re not making me wait until Georgia, right? The date is while we’re in Florida?”

“So eager, sheesh!” Dream teased. “But so am I, so yeah. I was thinking maybe the 23rd? Since you guys will get here on the 22nd?”

“Oh, who’s eager now? The day after I get there?”

Dream pouted so she smiled and assured him that she was just as excited for their date as he was. “I’m kinda nervous because it’ll be the day before Christmas Eve, so a lot of places will be super crowded and I know you said you don’t like big crowds so we might have to work around some stuff—”

“Dream, I’m honestly just excited to see you. Anything we do will be fun, I promise. I’m just happy I’ll get to see you and spend time with you.”

His worried expression softened as it was replaced with a fond smile. “Down bad, huh?”

Just like that, the tender moment was ruined and Y/n groaned, a laugh bubbling in her throat. “What is wrong with you? You’re the one stressing out so much about a date! You’re the one who’s down bad.”

“Yeah, but at least I can admit it.”

She shook her head at him for what felt like the millionth time and sighed. “I can’t believe I put up with you.”

“You must like me a lot, I guess,” he said, pushing her to admit it again.

“I guess I do.”

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ginemrys · 3 years ago

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learning curve

JILY CHALLENGE | @ginemrys vs @startanewdream

Theme: be my valentine? Prompt: “How about a good night kiss?”

Many thanks to @practicecourts for beta reading!

pt 1

Sharing a room with four other girls was never going to be easy when all of your friends are boys, was it? Even without the whole fancying girls part. But sharing a room with an insanely beautiful girl who can’t stand you? Now that seemed like hell.

But Jamie Potter always found a way to twist perceptions and defy odds, especially if it worked out in her favour. While many girls would feel intimidated by the close friendships of their roommates, Jamie took it in her stride. Once back in their dormitory after the school day was finished, Jamie would set about chatting to the others instead of feeling uncomfortable. She’d attempt to make them laugh, or smile, even the slightest response from them was a victory in her eyes, much to the disdain of Lily Evans.

Jamie had known Evans would be some kind of an issue for her ever since first year. In fact, since the original train journey to Hogwarts. The girl had sat with Snape of all people, had rolled her eyes at Jamie’s confidence, and to be honest, had acted like a bit of a brat. And so it had begun; their rivalry. And worst of all, Evans, unbeknownst as to how in Jamie’s eyes, had won over Marlene McKinnon, who Jamie had known since they’d been born. Sure, they were still mates, both Chasers for the Gryffindor team and they saw each other every Christmas holiday at New Years, but it was Evans that Marlene spent time with at Hogwarts. It was Evans’ bed that Marlene sat on most nights to get her long blonde hair braided, even though she knew Jamie could do a neater job. And after the terrible incident down by the lake… She had backed up Evans. Rightfully so.

Fifth year had seemed like the end of all civility between the two girls. Jamie had fucked up big time, had outed herself in front of the whole school and her actions had led to Evans getting hurt. That had stung the most. Sure, turning up for sixth year had led to teasing and bullying, mostly from homophobic Slytherins, but it was worse that Evans wouldn’t even look at her. They had argued and bickered the entire time they’d known one another, but never without a hint of potential friendship. It was obvious they respected each other. Often Evans would have the faint trace of a smile on her lips when she’d told Jamie off or given her a detention. But now she didn’t even look at her. That shattered Jamie’s heart.

“Back off. Just chill out around her and be kind, as we know you are,” Remus had told her one night in the Common Room while Jamie watched Evans with a wistful look on her face. “She’s a sensitive person and takes stuff like this to heart. She lost her friend, give her time to grieve for him.”

While Jamie did not understand why Evans missed Snape, she took Remus’ words to heart. She left Evans alone, calmed down on the pranks and mouthiness in lessons. Her grades had thanked her for it too. Jamie was incredibly intelligent, especially when it came to Transfiguration. She never had to work hard to achieve high grades. So instead of focusing on her lessons or homework, her free time was usually dedicated to coming up with pranks. But not anymore. Now her attitude had changed and it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“What happened to you this year, Miss Potter?” McGonagall asked, having called Jamie up to the front of the room after a lesson. Did you finally realise the importance of your N.E.W.Ts, how they might affect your future?

Jamie was sitting with her head bowed on one of the tables in front of the Deputy Headmistress, unaware of the figure lingering in the doorway.

“I’m not so sure about that, Professor.” She sighed, looking up to catch the Transfiguration teacher’s eye. “But I’ve been thinking lately about how my actions over the last few years have affected people. I… I’ve come to understand that even though I can’t take those actions back, I need to grow up, take accountability and actually… Actually work for my future. Rather than take my privilege for granted.”

That seemed to shock McGonagall, her usually stern features morphing into a look of surprise. “Well, that’s very mature of you, Miss Potter.” She said, and she actually sounded a tiny bit choked up. “I agree that you should focus on your education more, even though your O.W.L results were exceptionally high in most subjects. Perhaps you could work harder on other subjects, like Potions, you are lacking there.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jamie sighed, running a hand through her messy black curls. “I’m really putting a damper on the family name, huh?”

McGonagall actually let out a small chortle, nodding. “Your father must be so ashamed.” She raised an eyebrow with a smile. “You might benefit from some tutoring, someone who may be able to whip you into shape and get you to pay attention for once. Without Black there to distract you.”

Jamie hated the thought of having to listen to a fellow student, knowing her ego would take an enormous hit. Plus, there were only two people taking Potions at N.E.W.T level, and she would never agree to Snape tutoring her. She was almost certain the teachers would be aware of the disaster that would be, but with teachers you really could never tell.

“Miss Evans, perhaps you could help out?”

McGonagall’s voice cut through Jamie’s thoughts, making her jump slightly. Her head whipped around to the doorway, where Evans was standing, her books still clutched to her chest. She looked a little startled, her eyes wide. They slid from McGonagall to land on Jamie, making the black-haired girl’s heart lurch. How long had she been standing there? How much had she heard?

“If Potter wants my help, then…” Lily drew in a deep breath before looking at McGonagall once again. “Then I would be willing to assist. So long as she promises not to piss me off too much.”

That was a surprise.

“Excellent. I’ll let the two of you organise when you’ll be engaging in these sessions then.” McGonagall exclaimed, stepping away from Jamie to head to her desk. “Oh, and Potter?”

Jamie had gotten to her feet and was in the process of slinging her bag onto her back. “Yes, Professor?”

“Keep up the good work, your recent essay on Animagi was wonderfully put.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Jamie smiled to herself as she made her way over to the doorway, her throat growing somewhat thick as she neared Evans. “Um, thanks, Evans. I appreciate you helping me when you really don’t have to.”

“Don’t mention it,” Evans said, turning to head down to dinner, “come on, we can arrange when to meet on the way. I’m hungry.”

Continue on AO3

#jilychallenge #startanewdream #fem!jily february #jily #jily fanfiction #jily fic #fem!jily #jily fanfic

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maybanksslut · 4 years ago

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Dating Tommy Shelby would include...

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and smoking :)

Ok pls watch me drop everything to write this bc I'm married to cillian murphy <3

First of all, how the two of you met

One night, you’d be alone in one of Birmingham’s many pubs, drowning down the sorrow you felt after fighting with your father, who was visibly upset with you for not being married

He’d been talking about marriage with you for weeks and you grew tired of having to tell him the same thing every day

“I don’t want to get married, dad, there’s no one I love!”

Of course, he’d think that was bullshit and tell you marriage wasn’t an act of love, rather a business that was supposed to tie two families together

This angered you, so here you were, drinking your pain away

And just as you’d got seated and ordered some Irish whiskey, a certain Shelby walked into the pub

Perhaps it was fate, perhaps a mere accident, but no matter what it was, it changed your life forever

“May I sit here?”

You were quick to realize he was a peaky Blinder by the way he was dressed

And by the way everyone appeared to shiver when he entered the pub, you concluded that he must be one of the Shelbys as well

“Only if you promise not to get blood on my dress”

To be honest, he was taken aback by your joke, expecting more of a nervous smile or a look filled with lust, like other women seemed to give him

He was immediately intrigued by you and made it his goal to get to know you better by the end of the night

Tommy tried to be a gentleman, he paid for your drinks, offered you cigarettes, and referred to you as “Mrs”

Until you told him you weren’t married, that is

His jaw (his jawline is perfect tho can we talk about that?) practically dropped, because how could such a beautiful woman like you not have a husband?

At the same time, he was happy, because this meant he could have a chance of making you his forever

Which, he realized later, was something he did wish to do

Tommy fell himself falling for you more and more every day, he just adored your smile, your laugh, the way you weren’t afraid of him, but rather treated him as a close friend

Yes, he was entirely enamored with you, and he knew he had to make a move before anyone else did

He often took you on horse rides or to restaurants to hear your voice, and he loved to hear you talk

“What about that horse race you went to last week, eh? Can you tell me more about it? I don’t quite remember”

He didn’t officially ask you to be his lover before you’d known each other for three months

His feelings for you were a big burden when he kept them a secret, and so was keeping your friendship from both of your families

Therefore, one night as you walked through the empty streets of Birmingham, he confessed to you

“The truth is, y/n, I am in love with you and I want you to be mine. What do you say, eh?”

You were stunned when you heard those words come out of his mouth

You’d never expected this coming, even though you had for some time now felt a stronger connection to Tommy than just a friendly one

Furthermore, the way he said it made your breath tremble. You could almost feel the passion burning its way through his confession

You could feel all the atoms in your body craving him and his love, but you couldn’t utter a words

So instead, you gently caressed his cheeks and kissed him, as if you were trying to pour everything you wanted to say into his mind by this sweet embrace

It took the both of you some time to cool down after the kiss, but when you did, the two of you grinned like idiots

“I love you, too, Tommy Shelby”

He’d carry you home and properly introduce himself to your father the second he got the chance

Your father would be so surprised, because of who you’d brought home

But he’d also be so happy (mostly because Tommy is rich, but also because his daughter finally had found someone)

He and Tommy ended up getting along quite nicely, though you saw his jaw (again he can cut me with that jaw) clench a couple of times when he mentioned the word “thugs” about some of his peaky boys

Before he left that night he kissed you so softly and romantically you thought you’d FAINT

Luckily, you didn’t, but you dreamt about him after you went to sleep

Sometime later, Tommy pushed aside his hesitations and decided to introduce you to his family

“Darling, I beg of you, don’t let them scare you away, eh?”

“Why would they scare me away? If they’re anything like you, I’m sure I’ll love them”

You’d be fascinated by all of his family members because they all appeared to be very interesting people

John would be the first one to talk to you, his outgoing personality very evident after even only a few seconds of conversation

You did enjoy his company, though you had to admit, he was kind of intimidating with his strong voice and loud laugh

Next on the list was Polly, the woman you’d heard so much about, yet knew nothing of

She was the one that you’d were afraid to meet the most, a sue she seemed so majestic and proud in her red dress and high eyebrows

Her personality was the complete opposite of what you’d expected

“Oh my god, you must be y/n! You’re gorgeous, my love! Oh, come here for a hug, my dear”

Her friendliness was overwhelming, yet it warmed your heart deeply to see that she cared for you after such little interaction

It was comforting how she took you under her wing, introducing you to the other family members while Tommy went to talk with his brothers

After the night was over, you’d befriended Ada and learned not to get on Arthur’s bad side

It was an evening full of emotions and feelings, but it was one of the best ones in your life, so you were quick to thank Tommy for making you the luckiest woman in England

“Don’t thank me, sweetheart, you’re the one who made my life brighter”

It took Thomas four weeks to propose to you

He loved you and he needed no time to know that you were his true love and he wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side

It was one night you’d spent together in bed, talking about anything and everything, stealing kisses from each other now and then

Suddenly Tommy’s face turned more serious

“I want you to marry me, y/n”

“What?”

“I want you to marry me. I want to show the whole world how much you mean to me. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms, holding your hand and kissing your lips. I want to start a family with you and I want you, forever.”

You agreed immediately, tears in your eyes as you looked into the eye of your future husband and thought of the life you’d build together

It was perfect.

TAGLIST: @fangirlings-things @runaway-mom-friend @gxtitobxby @amirahiddleston @myloveforluna

#tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby headcanons #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby angst #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x you #peaky blinders x reader

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shackermanwrites · 3 years ago

Text

PAPER RINGS

Summary: In year 1908, you and your friends attempts to have the remaining best days of your lives before entering college. Yet you only have a few months to persuade your parents to send you to boarding school instead of finishing college and marry a man. Will you succeed when Kuchel's son Levi Ackerman suddenly entered your life? Will you let a lower class like him love an upper class like you or will you continue to pursue your dream to enter college and be with your friends?

Pairing:Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

Warnings & Content: Slow Burn, Alternate Universe, based on Anne with an E, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, first love, arrange marriage, coming of age.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

Year 1908

“I’ll see you tomorrow, we shall make our remaining last days and summer here in Avonlea memorable!”

“No need to cry Sasha, we’re attending the same boarding school remember? Along with Annie, Historia, and Ymir.”

You opened your arms to give a big warm and reassuring hug to your blossomed friend Sasha as the both of you stand along the huge trees. You and Sasha are kindred spirits as she likes to word it ever since you were just a little girls. Both of your mothers are best of friends since school that’s why you have known each other since.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow y/n” The brown-haired girl smiled widely to you before the both of you started parting ways.

The grin on your face instantly faded as you began to walk home. You’re not even sure about college since your parents which is mostly your father who is pushing you to attend finishing school after this year and start practicing how to be a proper lady that is fir to marry since they’re insisting you to find a gentleman to marry and settle.

Which of course you do not wish nor approve to do so. Finishing school means you are going to be isolated from your friends and not to mention that it will not actually give you a well-rounded education. You wanted to be a teacher since it is your passion since you were a little kid to teach and educate a lot of people but with the disapproval of you parents, you find it hard to believe that it will be possible.

Sure, you wanted to be to be wife someday but not with someone you just met and most specifically not because you have to. Not a lot of forced marriage ends up beautifully. You are a hopeless romantical waiting for your someone to capture your heart at the right time and moment.

Since you have no other choice but to obey them for now and persuade them some other time and hopefully they will change their mind.

You reached your house within a matter of time thanks to your preoccupied mind along the way. You saw your helper in farm which is Mr. Ackerman mending the saddle of the horses.

“Good day Mr. Ackerman!” you greeted while waving your hand in the air.

“For the last time kid, just Kenny!” Kenny did mind a little being called Mr. since they were just helpers, in short, they are poor and you coming from a wealthy family calling him with honorifics isn’t a norm.

“Good day Kenny!” You repeat with a giggled before proceeding to head your way.

Faint sound of voices coming from inside the house was already audible in front of your house. You thought your mother was only having a tea with her friends. You quickly opened the door hoping to great Mr. and Mrs. Yaeger but you were instead greeted by Miss Ackerman sitting in the couch with your parents along with a raven-haired boy sitting beside Miss Ackerman.

“There you are dear, come take a seat. We’ll discuss some things.” You mother stated as she pours tea in each cup.

You took off your hat and hang it in the hat stand along with your coat. Obediently, you sat beside your mother facing the black-haired boy. You can now clearly see his face, he is pale and has a straight emotionless face that gives the impression that he is not interested.

“You see dear, Kuchel here needs to say her goodbye to us for now, she’s sick and can’t be use of helping in house chores and in farm so instead she’s lending her son here to help his uncle in farm.”

You worriedly look at Kuchel who was giving a faint smile to you. Kuchel was not just a helper in your house, she was like a second mother to you. She’s kind and beautiful and she always taught you things that made you see the world in another perspective.

“Are you okay Miss Kuchel?” You asked which made the boy in front of you furrowed his brows. Never in a million years he would see a wealthy person like you use honorifics to their kind let alone be concerned to them. He thinks that most people who were born with a golden spoon is spoiled and annoying, always blabbering about money and things they bought. Yet he also felt a little envious since they don’t have enough money to support their family but nonetheless he is still grateful for the things he has especially his mother.

“Yes dear that’s very kind of you but no need to worry I am okay.” Kuchel replied with a reassuring smile on her face.

You avert your gaze to his son which he was already looking at you with his cold stare. Just like his mother, he has a steel blue eyes and jet black hair. He looks just exactly like his mother.

“My son is strong, kind, compliant, and very hard working, you will have no problem with him. I am very sorry for this inconvenient Mr. and Mrs. L/N” The dark haired woman smiled weakly which you then returned with a reassuring smile when her gaze averts to yours.

“It can’t be helped then but I expect nothing will change from your service.” You father simply replied. You and your father were never really that close especially he was always busy at work managing the town being the reason why you sometimes do not approve on how he speaks.

You were about to speak when your mother cuts you off. “Well then I guess it is settled. We will take good care of your son Kuchel and besides Kenny is here. Take good care of yourself on the way Kuchel.”

You can tell that you got your trait of being compassionate from your mother, you never really had a conversation with your father without the both of you arguing so grew up being distance with him to avoid conflict.

Kuchel then proceeded to bid her goodbye before your mother shows her way out, but you're pretty sure your mother gave her some money to buy enough food and even medicine. You were left in the living area along with your father and Kuchel’s son.

“Tell your mother I will be back before supper, Mr. Yeager and I needs to discuss some things. Kindly tell your mother to show Kuchel’s son around the house and the farm.” And there was your father’s strict and bossy attitude, whenever he talks to you, he almost sound unaffectionate and uninterested.

“Yes father, send my regards to Mr. and Mrs. Yeager.” You softly replied before your fathers walks out of your sight.

You look at the boy in front of you who was already looking at you.

“Hello, my name is Y/N, what’s yours?” You reach out your hand to him to have a formal handshake yet he just looks at it with confusion painted on his face.

“Levi.” He simply replied. You then pull out your hand from the embarrassment of him not returning the handshake. The first thing you noticed about him is his French accent just like his mother’s, you found it interesting as you always wanted to learn new language.

“Nice meeting you Levi.” You flash a nice welcome smile to him yet he remains the same and only responded with a nod.

You grip on your slate and books as you stand up and fix your dress. “Well, it was nice meeting you once again Levi, please excuse me.”

You graciously stood up and bowed your head at him, it was like you were programmed to do social etiquette all your life to the point where you are convinced that being graceful is the only thing you excel at.

You were greeted by the same beige colored wall in your room along with the fresh vanilla scent from your perfume. Your mother insisted that you start wearing perfumes and start taking care if your body since you are now a lady and perhaps next year you will start wearing corsets.

Once a woman reached the age of eighteen, it is a must to wear one to maintain an upright, 'good figure' and of course, parents should decide whether they would send their daughter to college but in your case, finishing school it is.

“I still have months to persuade my parents to change their minds. Nothing could possible go wrong.”

You settled your books and slate in your study table before deciding to come down to help for supper. Even with the helpers in your house, you are expected to do basic simple chores in the house such as arranging the plates in the table before and after a meal.

You found your mother cooking in the kitchen while Levi was already arranging the plates in the table. You were about to stop him since it is your job to do it but your mother grabbed you by the wrist.

“Let him dear, just for tonight. I already told him the chores he will be doing and just for tonight, I asked him to eat with us and he insisted on helping.”

You nod in response to your mother before glancing over at Levi who seems to be unbothered. You noticed that he has this bored expression in his fac. He’s short and pale, and noticeably quiet which his presence made you feel intimidated by him.

Levi had caught you staring at him which made him a little uncomfortable, you were only observing him but to him, he thought you were judging him for the way he is, maybe he even thought that you pity him, you being disgusted to the plates because he touched it also crossed his mind.

“Do you need anything?” You felt your blood rushing through your face when you realized that you were staring at the new boy, it was embarrassing and improper for a lady to stare.

“What?” you did not understand what he just said and why he said it. you look around and your mother was not in the kitchen anymore and the two of you were left alone.

“I said, do you need anything?” Levi placed the last plate he was holding in the table before averting his gaze to you.

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sta-” you were cut off by your father stepping into the kitchen along with your mother. You hurriedly checked the soup before taking it out on the stove.

The four of you took a seat in the dining area. You were sitting beside your mother and in front of Levi. Only the sound of clanking utensils can be heard.

“Say, Levi is it? what do you usually do in your house?” Your father and you looked at your mother and Levi as she tries to engage a conversation.

“I take care of my younger sister Ma’am, she’s 12. Sometimes, I help sell our small crops and goods in town for our extra income.”

“That’s good. How old are you anyways?”

“Eighteen ma’am, turning nineteen.”

Your mother nod at his response while you and your father remained quiet for the entire night. Normally, you were the one who was being asked about your day in school but it was nice having a break even just for a night.

Levi on the other hand was a little uncomfortable not from talking but from the food. It’s not like he did not like the food that was served, in fact he liked it very much but he just hoped that he could share the meat and the delicious soup with his mother since they rarely eat anything like that. Bread, cheese, oats and jams were the only food they can afford.

Nonetheless, it was a decent evening for him and to you too. It was peaceful and the both of you shared one thing in common, changed.

“Psst!”

“Y/N!”

You rose from your bed as soon as you heard whispers along with rocks hitting your window from below your room. You did not need to know who was the culprit because only one person keeps doing that for years.

Sneaking at night was improper especially for a lady at your age but you and your friends were never really liked at term ‘Proper’, you and your friends are indeed proper in the eyes of everyone, but not when all of you are alone.

Without wasting any time, you put your boots on and carefully head outside without making a noise. Sneaking outside your room was always easy but going down the stairs was the hardest part. The amount of times you were caught sneaking out when you were a child because of the squeaking sounds that the stairs makes still haunts you till this day.

Luckily, you managed to pass the old squeaky stairs, there was just a faint light coming from the living room. You were taking your time way too much that you forgot about your friends waiting outside for probably almost 10 minutes now, you hurriedly made your way to the front door before looking back just to check if any of your parent is up.

You opened the door and the cold wind immediately welcomed you as soon as you stepped outside. It was dark and only the moon was giving the night sky its light. You carefully and quietly closed the door making sure no sound can be heard from the inside.

It was already getting late so you ran as soon as you turned your back on your house not caring on the slippery additional five concrete stairs in front of your house. You just need to go to the side of your house where your room is and everything will be fine.

Everything was going on so smoothly not until a person suddenly stood up just as you were about to turn, you bumped you head hard on that persons chest. You look up to meet Levi’s confused expression.

“Levi! You scared me, what are you doing?” You whispered before looking around to see if anyone was there.

“Sitting, obviously.” He simply replied while looking at you.

You looked back at him nervously, you were scared he might tell your parents that you were sneaking at night.

“Listen I- Please don’t say anything to my parents, please, just pretend you didn’t see me.” You begged him. Levi didn’t say anything, he was thinking if he should accept your request or not which made you more anxious as time goes by.

“See what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Levi replied.

Immediately, a smile was plaster on your face, you were relieved by his answer. You smiled at him.

“Thank you Levi, I owe you one.” You walked passed him before running to the side of your room.

Levi was left alone confused, you were still behaving like the way you did earlier. You still smiled at him even when no one’s around. Yet a part of his thought knows you needed to be kind to him only for him to not tell your parents what he just saw.

“There she is, Y/N we’ve been here for almost an hour.”

“Ymir I think that’s a bit overreacting now.”

You were greeted by your friends, Sasha who’s clinging over Annie, Ymir holding a bunch of scarfs and Historia who’s holding flower crowns. They walked over to your direction to meet you.

“I’m sorry, I’m here now let’s go.” All of you looked around as you all walked away from your house. You looked back at the direction where Levi was when you were already far away from your house, there was no Levi already.

‘Maybe he already went inside.’ You thought to yourself.

There was laughter and chatter while you and your friends are on the way to the near lake in your house. One every two weeks, all of you spends the night there talking about life since all of you were just a child.

“it’s still so beautiful no matter what.” Historia says in an awe when you arrived at the lake.

She’s right, it’s always so peaceful and calm here especially at night.

“It’s nice, nothing changed in this beautiful lake but we’re all changed. Look at us now.” You sadly said while looking over the lake.

Your friends understood what you said. None of you were ready for being grown up, for the reality you need to face.

“We’re all adults now, I’m scared that one day we all might forget each other, we have to marry some gentleman one way or another.” Annie stated.

“I hate them already.” Sasha replied.

There was a lump in your throat, you want them to know that you can’t go to college with them but you can’t, it just doesn’t feel right to you to say it just yet.

“I’ll just marry all of you if that’s the case.” You jokingly said to lighten up the mood.

“It would please of if you don’t include me and Historia, we’re going to marry each other.” Ymir said as she hugs Historia while the blonde girl giggles before returning her hug.

You spend the night laughing and playing around while wearing flower crowns, the happy faces of your friends reassured you that everything will be fine. After an hour, you all parted ways before it gets too late. Maybe some other time you will have the courage to tell them the truth.

You manage to went back inside your house without waking your parents up yet at this point you don’t care if they did. It will give you the reason to beg not to send you to finishing school but you know it will worsen the situation.

You were thinking for so long that your thoughts went to that Raven haired boy, he seems nice yet not much of a talkative person. Kuchel was so nice to you so you’re also certain that Levi is just like his mother. You remembered that you owe him for tonight and you know exactly what to do.

#levi #Levi fanfiction #levi heichou #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi attack on titan #Captain Levi #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi x you

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ddaengyoonmin · 4 years ago

Text

Pairing: Single dad / childhood best friend!Jungkook x Reader

Genre: !!ANGST!!, smut.

Word count: 7.1k

Warnings:(issa dark oneee) Mentions of abuse, abusive parent, underage drinking and drug use, Jungkook is an ass, lots of descriptions of smoke and cigarettes in an unhealthy way. Mentions of vomiting. Toxic behaviors in general; Rough play; handjob; edging; Sub!Jungkook; Dom!Reader; choking; biting; overstimulation; slight mentions of blood; just all around physical and emotional pain definitely not #goals.

a/n: definitely cried a bit writing this. This story ended up becoming super important to me and something I think I’ve been holding in for a while. A lot of this story is based on my own life and personal experiences, which is why the first part is a highschool backstory. Absolutely nothing sexual happens until they are both adults, the first part of the story was just a necessary cathartic therapy moment for me to get out :_)

(Also I tried to make this a gender neutral insert, but this is my first time doing that so kindly let me know if there's anything I can do to improve on that!)

Song inspiration: Kathleen- Catfish and the Bottlemen; Rango- Catfish and the Bottlemen; Anything-Catfish and the Bottlemen

--------

He was completely insane. It never made you like him any less though.

When you’d first heard Jungkook was back in town you had so many different emotions running through you, you thought you’d faint at the feeling.

------

When you were still in highschool, he had been your closest friend. You spent practically every day after school with Jungkook, smoking in your car, driving around through cemeteries laughing about something funny one of your teachers had said, or the security guard who’d tried to chase you down the halls for skipping 2nd hour earlier in the day. There never seemed to be a dull moment when he was around.

When you’d first met him, insane and reckless were never words that would’ve come into your mind.

He was a grade younger than you and had seemed to fly mostly under your radar through all your highschool years. It wasn’t until the second half of your Junior year that you'd even noticed he existed.

You’d shown up to the first day of track practice the way you always had, scanning over the new freshman on the team. You’d mistaken him for a freshman and greeted him as such. He nervously and shyly corrected you that he was actually a Sophomore just searching around for something new to try out.

About half way through the practice you noticed a group of your teammates had swarmed around Jungkook and he looked to be almost in tears as he cowered under their words and faces, looking up at them all.

He was a small child, not very muscular and extremely geeky looking. You found it endearing though, and found the classmates picking on him infuriating.

You stormed across the track over to where they stood demanding to know their problem, they all were also a grade younger than you and seemed to be intimidated by you. How could they not be with the star of the track team chewing them out like they were being condemned to hell.

After they left, two big saucer eyes stared up at you, tears still slightly pooled up in his lower lid, he wiped them off with the back of his hand.

“Thank you.” He sniffled. He explained that everyone in his grade always picked on him like that. He didn’t really have any friends, and everyone seemed to think of him as the weird kid.

After that day the two of you were inseparable.

You went to the city fair together on the last day of school that year, and that was the first time it happened.

You were supposed to be at a school sanctioned celebration, you’d told your mom that's where you’d be.

But here you were sitting in your car with Jungkook before going to the fair, the two of you giggling as he messily tried to roll a joint, swearing that his older brother had taught him how.

You felt yourself bleeding guilt for lying to your parents. But, how could anything that sweet Jungkook convinced you to do be bad?

Stoned out of your mind the two of you ran hand in hand around the fair, giggling and riding your favorite rides too many times. That was the first time you realized, he was truly your best friend.

That summer had you pulling a 180 on everything you’d ever thought you were capable of.

Before you knew it, you were sneaking out of your house multiple times a week to drive around with Jungkook and smoke, listening to music and feeling free.

———

It was now the middle of summer. You were sitting in your car while Jungkook was filling up gas for you.

Two girls and a man approached Jungkook and started chatting. You found that odd, but then again, Jungkook had a habit of getting into conversations with strangers everywhere you went.

You never really noticed it til then, but at some point, he had really changed from the boy you met. He was more outgoing, he was dressing better…

A tap on your window surprised you.

“Hey y/n! These guys are throwing a party at their place, let's just park your car here and go! They said just hop in!”

You felt your jaw drop a bit as you opened your mouth to protest. But he was staring back at you so excited, so hopeful that you’ll join him. You agreed, against all better judgement and that sick feeling in your stomach that you shouldn’t be getting into a car with strangers.

Jungkook whispered in your ear as the two of you walked to your car. “I told them we were 22” He chuckled. Your heart dropped a bit, more sick feelings coming on.

“Okay.” You managed to nod and agree somehow. Jungkook excitedly opened the door to their backseat, as if he did this kind of thing all the time.

You were both lucky, the strangers were not murderers, though there was no party, just them and some beer and a hookah in a messy apartment living room.

None of it felt right, it didn’t really feel like a fun time. Jungkook though seemed to think he was at the party of the century. He chugged the beer they gave him in no time and was up messing with their stereo trying to get on some “PARTY MUSIC” he screamed out.

In no time at all that firecracker of a boy was wasted and trying to dance up on their table.

It wasn’t long before the apartment owners realized their mistake, this child was completely off the rails drunk. One of them tried to bring him down from the table and he somehow managed to kick their glass hookah entirely across the room.

There was a still silence as you all looked at the shattered glass on the ground. You had your hand clasped over your mouth looking from the glass to Jungkook.

Jungkook’s eyes were wide at you, the smile that grew on his face seemed ill fitting for the moment, as the apartment owners were obviously furious.

“Run!” Jungkook screamed out in a laugh, rushing over to you and grabbing you tightly by your wrist and pulling you out the front door.

Then the two of you ran, you just kept running down the street till your lungs gave out and you collapsed on the ground on a grassy patch in front of a gas station.

Jungkook’s chest was heaving but he still managed a loud laugh, his eyes crinkling as he held his stomach, rolling over onto his side.

“Jungkook. That was insane…” You gasped out.

“That was fun.” he chuckled, seeming to be unphased by it all with a casual smile, rolling back onto his back and staring up at the sky.

And that was the moment you realized how crazy he was.

After that, things like this were common with Jungkook. You were his protector at school and his partner in mischief and crime.

The two of you ended up both quitting track together, against your parent’s scolding and the coaches yelling about losing one of their star runners.

You knew you wouldn’t be a star that year though, with all the smoking you’d been doing and you’d skipped out completely on practicing throughout the summer. It just seemed pointless. And you wanted more time with Jungkook before you had to leave…

———

You found yourself getting in increasingly more dangerous situations. He’d have you take him to parties at nearby university dorms, he refused to learn to drive, part of you felt like it was just because he liked you driving him around.

He always lied about his age, that never sat right with you.

Sometimes you found yourself gripping both hands on a beer bottle so tightly you thought your fingers might snap while he was getting talked to by every person that walked by. People loved him at first glance every time you went out together. But they didn’t know him.

They didn’t get to see his real chaos, they never learned the lies he told them, they’d never be able to understand him. Not like you thought you knew him.

You knew things weren’t good at home for Jungkook. He had an older brother he was close with named Jin, and a young sister named Jill, both very lovely, but his dad was a real piece of work. In the whole time you’d been friends with Jungkook you’d only been to his house twice, he avoided ever taking you there if he could.

You found out why when one of the times Jungkook had thought it’d be safe to bring you over for a moment, his dad got home from work early.

“What’s this shit.” His dad had grumbled at Jungkook, pointing to the light eyeliner he had around his eyes. Jungkook had recently started to wear makeup, he did a good job of making it look natural, but today he’d gone a little heavy on the eyeliner.

“Nothing.” Jungkook muttered, turning his back to his dad.

Apparently that was the wrong move, and all you could do was stand there, frozen.

Jungkook and you have never talked about that day. But it was traumatic for you both. You held him close that night as he cried in your arms, sitting in the parking lot of your favorite park to smoke in.

His eye now even more black than it had been with just the eyeliner, which was now smudged across his face due to his tears.

You vowed to never let anyone hurt him ever again. No matter what.

---------

Months later Jungkook was taking pictures of you, for your senior pictures. Talking about how you’d be gone next year but you’d still stay in touch. Graduation was hanging over you like a dark cloud. You didn’t want things to change between you and Jungkook.

As much trouble as you’d gotten in, as much as your grades had dropped this year, as much as your parents gave him judgemental looks any time he was around, you loved him so much.

---------

It was the last month of school.

He was gone.

Somehow his father had managed to get your phone number and you were hearing an entire vocabulary of cuss words.

“I know you’re hiding him from me. Where the fuck is he?’ the man growled on the other end of the phone.

You wish you knew.

But he just didn’t show up to school that day.

He didn’t text you like he always did to say that he was ready to be picked up.

No voicemail.

Not a word.

And now even his dad was calling you. The worry that you felt had you not paying attention to one word of your classes all day.

And the next day.

And the rest of the week.

Until next monday. He was just...there.

“What the fuck Jungkook!” You punched him in the shoulder. He looked like a mess, his hair hadn’t been cut or washed in a while, and he looked like he was wearing the remnants of makeup from a few days ago.

He chuckled “I decided to just hop a train out of town for a while” He shrugged “fuck it.”

“And you couldn’t tell your best friend where you went? Do you realize I thought you were dead?” You snapped at him.

He shrugged again. “It's fine. It was fun!” He smiled a giant toothy grin.

Your blood was boiling. How could he not even say sorry? How could he act like this didn’t affect you at all. It was infuriating.

You didn’t talk to him for a week.

------

You made up with Jungkook, but things never went back to normal. You were always waiting for him to just up and leave again. To just abandon you and act like nothing is even the matter…

You’d graduated and it was summer, you thought like last summer you’d be hanging out together most every day.

But, he stopped asking.

When you did hang out with him, he’d continuously mention this new group of friends he’d found in the town he ended up in on his little adventure. You’d think they were celebrities the way he gushed about them.

There was a girl of course, she was ‘the most beautiful mess he’d ever seen’. You found yourself holding back a sob at those words, because you knew exactly what he meant. Because it was the same as what you saw when you looked at him.

He was increasingly spending more time with his new friends than you, and school would be starting for you soon...maybe it was a good thing. He was still in highschool and you were becoming an adult, he needed friends in his grade.

That didn’t make it hurt less though.

Only about a month into summer, with a simple text Jungkook invited himself over, asking you to order some pizza and said he’d be staying the night.

In your new apartment you’d gotten to yourself after graduation, Jungkook now smoking with you on your couch, the two of you chuckling about the show you were watching. Nothing seemed wrong at that moment, it all seemed finally back to normal between you two.

And that was the last time you had seen Jungkook for 4 years.

------------

You’d checked your phone what seemed like every minute for the first month he was gone.

Even texting his brother Jin many times and getting no reply.

You waited for him to come back with some wild and crazy story of new trouble he’d gotten himself into. You figured he had to come back, he still had school, and with Jin in college he’d never leave his little sister alone with that monster right?

But as months continued to pass, it was clear he wasn’t coming back. All of his social media platforms had been deleted or you’d been blocked.

There weren’t enough tears in your body for how hard you cried yourself to sleep each night when you realized he really was gone. You felt your body heaving against your mattress with each loud sob. Your head was beginning to throb from the tears and from the stress of knowing you really had lost him.

Not that he was ever yours.

That was something you should’ve realized sooner.

Jungkook would never belong to anyone or any place.

You chuckled at a memory of skipping class, sitting in your car in the school parking lot, his wild eyed smiling expression when he’d pass you back your cigarette completely smoked to the end.

“How!?” You’d smack his shoulder with a laugh. “It was only half smoked and I handed it to you for a hit!!! How is it gone!”

He’d wink, laugh and lean back in his seat. “Just trying to die quicker.”

------------

You’d graduated from your university this year. Life had pretty much gone according to plan for you that way, you had to retake one class which really wasn’t bad considering how much you’d fallen off at the end of highschool.

You were finishing up your shift at the chain restaurant you’d been working at the past year. As you were clearing off dishes sighing over another table stiffing you on a tip, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

Quickly you took the dishes into the kitchen to the dishwasher and went to the bathroom to check your phone.

It was a text from a former classmate you’d hung out with a few times. You and Jungkook would smoke with him occasionally, though Jungkook seemed closer to him than you. It didn’t surprise you, Jungkook made friends so easily when they weren’t in his own grade.

Jungkook…

What was surprising was that it’d actually been a bit since you’d thought about Jungkook in a way that made your heart ache this way. It’d been years, he was nothing more than a story you’d tell to new friends. That wild child that you hung around with in highschool, the one who got you into so much trouble. People’s eyes would widen at some of the stories you’d told (If only they knew the ones you didn’t dare repeat)

“You could’ve died!” They’d say.

Or “He seems like he was just a toxic friend.”

Some even would ask you if you think maybe he could’ve been a sociopath.

You'd laugh and say it was probably true. As much as you had hung out with Jungkook, you never quite felt like that love you held for him as your friend was ever returned.

The older you got and the more you looked back on it, Jungkook never did anything but use you.

You drove him everywhere, you bought him dinners, you bought the cigarettes and weed, you defended him from his classmates( even though you’d seen him stab a man with a pen at a party once, over simply interrupting him.)

And what did Jungkook give to you?

Chaos. Trouble. Pain. Hurt…

You closed your eyes and gulped. You want him out of your head. But when you open your eyes and stare back down to the text on your phone, that wish is impossible.

‘Jungkook is back’ It read.

A chill spread across your entire body and your phone clattered to the floor. You didn’t even think about the cracked screen you’d likely caused. Your mind was stuck on one word, one name.

Jungkook.

Jungkook…

You actually felt sick, luckily you were already in the bathroom, rushing into one of the stalls you emptied your stomach, tears forming in your eyes you collapsed with your back to the cold painted cement of the bathroom wall.

He's back.

What does that even mean?

While Jungkook had been a geeky little kid in his classmates eyes for most of his life, his reputation had started to get around. When he went missing he was the talk of the town. Everyone seemed to have their own theory.

“I heard he ran off with a meth dealer.” … “No, I heard he’s in florida fighting alligators.” …. “That's bullshit he's obviously finally gotten himself in juvi!” they’d all speculated.

The worst part of hearing all of that, was that you could only speculate too.

He’s back…

A second text came in. You gulped and looked down to see a link to an instagram page kookymonster69. Of course it was that, you chuckled.

You clicked the link and it sent you over to his page. There were only three pictures posted, he really had just come back...you’d thought maybe he’d just blocked you so somehow this was a relief.

The first photo was a selfie, and WOW. He did not look like the small lanky boy that you had been friends with.

He was wearing a loose fitting tank top that showed off his massive biceps and the tattoos that covered his arms and hands. His hair was still jet black but he seemed to have learned how to perfectly style it, and his eyeliner was more on point than it's ever been.

“Fuck.” You whispered under your breath. Your heart beat fast right before it sank at the second picture.

It was him with a child that looked to be around 3 years old, the caption reading ‘My lil mini me’.

Oh…

Your mind flashed back to the girl he’d always talked about, the time he’d been spending with his new friends instead of you.

Of course.

Of course that's where he went.

But why couldn’t he tell you? Why would he think you wouldn’t want to be involved in his kids life?

You cursed again under your breath and without thinking you pressed the follow button.

“I-” You gasped. You really hadn’t meant to do that. But, maybe it's good he knows that you know he's back…

--------

Two days later you got a notification. Kookymonster69 is following you on instagram.

Within minutes a dm was popping up on your screen.

“Long time no talk huh?” it read.

You wanted to throw your phone against the wall. Though that would be the second act of unwarranted phone violence because of this little shit. So you held back. Theres only so much in your life he’s allowed to fuck up.

How could he think that was what you wanted to hear after all this time. No different than when he’d hopped a train out of town and came back like nothing was out of the ordinary.

No apology. No “You must’ve been so worried”

You started to type out a message telling him off. Asking him what the fuck was wrong with him, just dissapearing and coming back into your life like this.

You maxed out the word count on your text and re read it back over. Sighing, you deleted every word and sent a simple.

“Yeah...it really has been a while. How are you?”

Damnit. You groaned and tossed yourself onto your side on your couch.

He replied almost instantly.

“Better lately...I have a son.”

“I saw, he looks a lot like you. I always knew if you had a kid they’d look just like you lol called it” you felt a smile grow on your face, despite every bone in your body reminding you of who he was, and what he’s done...here you were letting your cheeks catch fire once again at his words.

“He does. lol he’s so much smarter than me though already.”

“I don’t doubt that ;) “

It was about ten minutes and he hadn’t replied. You knew ten minutes wasn’t a long time, nothing compared to four years. Yet somehow those ten minutes were the longest moments you’d ever experienced.

“I wanna see you again.” the words read on your phone. You felt your stomach tie itself up into a tight knot.

Bad idea. Bad idea. You should have never even replied.

Why were you digging up the past?

You quickly turned your phone over and groaned.

Letting him back in would likely only bring you more pain. Why the hell were you actually considering it.

This time it was your turn to wait a while before replying. You were weighing pro’s and con’s lists in your brain and though the con’s list kept growing, the Pro list’s first and only item seemed to top it all. ‘Its Jungkook.’

---------

So here you were. Waiting in your car outside of the address he’d texted you to pick him up at. You were parked outside of a cheap looking apartment building only about five minutes from where you lived. You wondered how long he’d been here...this close to you without you knowing.

You sucked in a deep breath when you saw him walk out the front door. He was wearing an oversized grey baggy t-shirt and tight black skinny jeans ripped at the knee where you could see the start of a tattoo peeking out. He had on silver chains and his hands were covered in rings, he looked like some kind of goth model.

You rolled the window down and called over to him.

“Not sure if you remember my car.” You spoke lightheartedly trying to offset the nervous feeling, and another feeling you were still trying to sort out.

He belly laughed and smoothly opened your passenger door and hopped in.

“How could I forget!” his dark eyes were wide and excited as always, his charming smile you’d once been so used to now making your brain practically glitch out. “I can’t believe you still have it.”

You shyly shook your head. “Broke college student” You chuckled. “So what are we doing? You said you just wanted to chill…”

Jungkook smiled and relaxed back into your seat, like he’d done a million times, so naturally. Though he didn’t look like the same small boy you once knew.

“Yeah, like old times.” He winked and pulled out a small baggie of weed.

You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“C’mon don’t tell me you quit.” He teased.

“Of course I didn’t.” You chuckled.

“Good y/n.” He smiled cutely, booping your nose with one finger, and you felt your heart stop.

Your face must’ve fallen or had some sort of expression to let him know he’d affected you, because he immediately punched your shoulder as if to snap you out of your thought.

“Give me a cigarette then and let's go.” He demanded joyfully, banging on the dash of your car and giving you an “onward” motion with his arm for you to start driving.

You drove around for about an hour, smoking cigarettes and passing a joint back and forth.

He didn’t talk much about himself or what he’d been up to and he also didn’t ask much about you either. When you’d bring up questions you got short replies that didn’t seem very satisfying.

“So are you still with your kids mom?” You asked him as he was passing you an almost fully smoked joint.

“Hell no!” he coughed out smoke with his words. “Evil.” he muttered and shook his head.

“Evil?”

“Yup.” he nodded, grabbing another cigarette from your pack without asking. Just as he always used to. What's yours was always his back then, but right now his casual way of falling back into old routines was hurting, you couldn’t stand it anymore.

You pulled into the parking lot of you and Jungkook’s favorite park you’d hangout at. You pressed the brakes suddenly and aggressively bringing the car to a half.

“Woaah.” Jungkook giggled as he let out a tiny puff of smoke.

“You left.” You felt yourself about to explode. Trying to hold it in was becoming impossible.

“You just LEFT.” You yelled the last word, startling him and making him cower back against the window.

“Y/n…” His eyes widened as he gave you his best puppy dog face, this was the first time you’d probably ever really yelled at him. He’d been scolded plenty of times, but you were always soft on your Jungkook. He didn’t deserve that though, you might not have been dating, but he’d broken your heart and you deserved an explanation.

“Why didn’t you tell me? How could you just leave me without a word?” You felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

It was silent in your car for a while.

Jungkook brought the last hit of his cigarette to his mouth shakily.

“No.” He shook his head, doing something that always gave you the chills. The way he could turn his cutesy eyes into stone cold daggers in an instant used to make your heart drop into your stomach. Though right now you were a bit too worked up to feel anything but anger at him.

“No?”

“Yeah. No. I don’t need to tell you shit.” He shook his head, his eyes not meeting yours.

“Right.” You huffed, sinking into your seat. “Why would you. Why would you tell your best friend what's going on in your life right?” you snapped and realized the words building inside had reached your tongue faster than your brain could tell you to stop.

“Though I guess maybe we never really were best friends? Maybe I just thought that because you hung around me so much. But you never actually gave a shit about me did you?”

Jungkook’s eyes were widening and he was cowering further away from you.

“I would’ve done anything for you Jungkook, you know that? Died for you, killed for you. Do you realize how many times I took the fall and got in trouble for things you did? And you just…let me. You always just let me get hurt for you, let me ruin myself for you. And you never cared. And then you just...left.”

Your last words came out as a choked up whisper.

Jungkook was staring at the cigarette in his hand that had gone out, twirling it between his tattoo’d fingers and pursing his lips together tightly.

“Why’d you keep hanging around me then if you hated it so much.” He grumbled, seeming genuinely hurt by your words.

You sighed. Hating that now you felt the need to comfort *him*. You shook your head. No. He doesnt get to get away with that.

“I guess I don’t know.” You muttered glaring at him.

His eyes met yours for a moment but on seeing your anger they quickly flitted away.

“You seemed helpless.” You answered after a moment. “That's why. I thought you needed me. I thought I was helping you by being there for you. I didn’t realize you were destroying me.”

At that Jungkook’s gaze was serious and direct at you.

“Destroying you?”

“Nevermind. This was just a mistake.” You murmured starting to put your car into reverse to leave. A large tattoo’d hand pressed onto yours stopping you.

“Hey.” He spoke seriously.

You stopped and looked over at him, already visibly exhausted from this conversation.

“Just…” He grabbed another cigarette from your pack and lit it, sucking in a large hit. “I missed you, trust me.” he grumbled.

“Oh wow, well at least you missed me the four years you chose to not talk to me.” You hissed out slightly getting in his face, making him flinch back.

“I’m not gonna say sorry.” He whispered, his doe eyes staring at you intensely, his eyes flicking back and forth between your eyes and what seemed to be your lips.

Of course he’s not. Of course he does know that's what you want. You had an urge to grab his face in your hands and just shake some sense into him and scream ‘Why can’t you just have some normal human emotions you complete sociopath.’

Instead your body’s next choice of action was one that neither of you were expecting.

As if your lips were magnets, yours fell onto his quickly and perfectly, snapping the two of you in place together.

You pulled back with a gasp, holding your lower lip between your thumb and index finger, feeling mortified at yourself.

Jungkook on the other hand had a smirk slowly growing on his face, his eyes mischievous, likely knowing this was his “in” back to your good side.

The fact that you knew that's probably what he was thinking should’ve been enough to have you stop right there. But the way his eyes were now scanning you up and down in admiration was too intoxicating, too addicting, you’d missed him too much.

“Do your seats still fold all the way down.” He pointed to your backseat with a chuckle.

You smacked his shoulder. “And why would that matter to you.” You teased, almost completely forgetting how angry you’d just been with him. Damnit, how did he do that.

He shrugged with a knowing laugh, his eyes crinkling up cutely, bringing his still lit cigarette to his lips.

“You wanna get even?” He glanced at the back seat again.

“Get even?”

“Yeah.” He winked “You seem like you’ve got a lot of pent up steam at me there. I'm just suggesting some sanctioned punishment-” the corners of his lips curled up mischievously at the word. ”-so maybe you’ll feel a bit less upset at me.”

Bad idea. Bad idea. Those words were playing on a loop in your brain.

Trying to remind you of every bit of hurt and pain he’d caused you, and how if you slept with him, you knew that pain would only hurt worse the next time.

Jungkook was already getting out of the car and putting the seats of your station wagon down flat into a makeshift bed.

You had your fingers clenched tightly around your steering wheel, knuckles turning white. This is Jungkook, not just a one night stand, not a new fling. This is *Jungkook*. You knew there was a higher chance than not that you’d be filled with regret after this.

But there he was now laying out in the back seat of your car, staring at you with a cute and enticing look. “y/n.” He spoke sweetly. “You can come punish me now” He winked.

You couldn’t deny to yourself how much you wanted him.

You took one more deep breath in and without taking another thought to it you rushed into the back seat with him.

He was laying on his side with his head propped up on his hand.

“Took you long enough.” he teased.

Before he could say anything else you were on top of him, pushing him onto his back and pressing him to the seat with one hand and putting another one over his mouth.

“You’re definitely going to have to shut up.” You growled.

His eyes lit up at the fire you’d shown him. He’d never seen you like this before, his sweet y/n that always looked after him, looked out for him, picked him up every time he needed it.

He knew he fucked up. But life itself was fucked up, nothing in life is fair and no one gets what they truly deserve. Jungkook especially. So why would he owe anyone an apology?

This was the best he could give to you.

He nodded, agreeing to be quiet for you.

You slowly let your hand fall from his mouth and replaced it with your lips, melting into him, you were kissing him like you’d been starved for it. Your fingers started to tangle in his hair, messing it up and tugging slightly.

Jungkook's hand reached around your waist, pulling you against him, moving down to your hips and trying to get you to grind against him.

You quickly reached down and grabbed his wrist, pinning it above his head and shaking your head slightly as you gave him a few more pecks.

“Don’t get greedy. You can’t be patient after all this time?” You scolded.

He stuck out his lower lip in a pout, taking in the sight of you straddling him, looking down at him with a mix of emotions still flowing through you.

You went back to kissing him, pinning his other hand above his head and after a bit, rewarding him by pressing your core down onto his and giving him the friction he’d wanted.

He let out a soft and needy whimper as you did.

You felt butterflies filling your stomach at his noise. It was so gentle and sweet, and to know that you were the one making Jungkook feel this way was a sense of pride you’d never felt before.

You stacked his wrists one on top of the other and held them in one hand, your other hand now slipping between where your bodies met and palming him over his jeans.

He hissed out a sharp breath and a small “fuck” fell from his lips involuntarily.

“Does that feel good baby?” You teased him pulling back from your kisses and studying his face, knowing the answer was obvious.

He bit down on his lower lip and his eyes were clenched tightly as he nodded.

Your fingers fumbled slightly but didn’t take you too long to undo his jeans and slip your hand inside, now running your hand slowly along his length over his boxers. His hips lifted slightly off of the seat, pressing up against your hand desperately wanting more.

At that you gave him a slight squeeze, causing him to yelp out. His eyes were wide staring up at you.

“I said don’t get greedy. Remember, this is supposed to be for me.” You chuckled at his disappointed face. “You’ve always been so fucking selfish and greedy.” You gently kissed his lips, before roughly taking his lower one between your teeth and biting harshly.

“Fuck.” he hissed, a small drop of blood now forming where you’d nipped at him, but he only seemed more hungry for you now.

You tugged on the hem of his pants and boxers. “Off now.” You demanded.

He wasted no time after you released his wrists, he tugged down his clothes, pulling up his shirt slightly and letting his length fall against his toned lower abs.

He was so beautiful, smiling up at you with a playful look. It was an absolute joke for you to think you were actually in charge here. You were wrapped around his finger and you always had been.

He looked absolutely mouthwatering. But you didn’t want to let it get to his head. This was supposed to be payback.

You went back to kissing him, that way you didn’t have to look at him, that way you didn’t risk saying the words that you shouldn’t...

With a free hand you took his length into your hand, letting the weight of him sit in your palm for a moment before slowly tickling your fingers up and down. He twitched under your touch and his kisses faltered as he let out a small gasp.

“y/n no more teasing.” He moaned out.

“I thought I said shut up.” Your hand was back over his mouth, but you decided to indulge him for a moment, pumping your hand up and down his length a few times. You could feel his moans vibrate against the palm of your hand still clamped down on his lips.

You let him go and slowly moved yourself down so that his cock was positioned right in front of your face. Letting your tongue lay flat against the base with pressure you licked a long stripe up his cock. When you got to the tip you flicked your tongue a few times right under his head. His hips reflexively moved up at that, begging you to take him fully in your mouth.

Instead you “tsk’d” at him a few times, loosely holding his cock in your hand and not moving.

“It's no fun just sitting there waiting is it?” You asked. “How do you think I felt waiting for you for years.” You lightly slapped the tip of his cock with your hand not holding it.

“AH!” He yelled out “Hey!” he strained his neck to be able to give you a shocked expression.

“Too far?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.

He thought for a moment, then shook his head, laying back down. “No. No it's not that I don’t like it.” He chuckled. “Just...it's you. I never thought you’d be like this in bed.”

You were suddenly moving up to face him, your hand grabbing the sides of his neck tightly. “You don’t know me anymore.” You growled. “You made sure of that by cutting me out of your life for four fucking years.” your grip on his neck tightened slightly before you released him.

He gasped in a deep breath when you pulled away, looking up at you in awe.

You moved your hand back between his legs now pumping quickly, twisting over his head when you’d get to it. You ate up every moan that you pulled from his lips, they were yours, you’d caused every single one and they were yours to keep forever.

Right before it looked like he was going to cum, you pulled your hand away, leaving his cock untouched and throbbing.

“No..” He whimpered, “Please please.” His needy whines were so cute.

“But why should you get to cum?” You teased him.

He pouted dramatically. “Y/n…” He spoke sweetly “Cuz you love me. Make me cum because you love me.” He smiled a wide and precious smile.

Fuck.

Your mouth hung open at his words. Of course he knew you loved him.

All the easier to use you.

Because that made it all the harder for you to say no to him.

Letting your forehead rest against his, you brought your hand back to his length, letting your fingers drag against his soft skin as you gripped him.

You could see a small smirk on his face, as his breathing became even more unsteady, his moans catching in his throat as he panted heavily.

“Oh my god that feels so fucking good.” He groaned out. “Fuck.” His hands were gripping the back of the front seat that his head was pressed up against, his muscles flexing as he tightened his grip unable to contain how good you were making him feel.

His abs were clenched and his hips were lifting off of the seat for you as he desperately fucked himself into your hand.

“I-I’m cumming.” He gasped out, his eyes met yours as he came, his mouth falling completely open and noises resembling your name were being muttered as his hips jerked and his cock twitched in your hand, spurting ropes of cum onto his stomach.

You didn’t stop moving your hand around him, waiting for him to get so sensitive that he had to pull your arm away, both of you laughing.

You rolled over next to him, turning your head to face his.

He was facing the top of the car, eyes closed and he had a big smile on his face, seeming very satisfied with himself.

“Even?” He finally opened his eyes, turning to you with a bright grin.

You chuckled.

It probably would be asking too much to expect Jungkook to see the flaw in his logic here. Once again, he’d gotten you to give him everything, for nothing in return, and he wanted to call that his apology.

You shook your head at him.

“No. But I do feel a little better.”

He nodded, seeming to somehow take that as a positive.

“You’re good at that.” He sat up, taking his shirt off and using it to wipe off his stomach.

“Thanks…” You muttered. Here it was, the regret setting in. The feelings of ‘what the fuck did I just do’. Even worse was the feeling of knowing now that you had, all he had to do was say the word, and you’d be right back there again.

You exited the backseat of the car quickly, rushing to grab a cigarette from your glove compartment, your fingers shaky as you brought the lighter up to the tip. Flicking it many times but not getting a flame.

“Fuck!” You yelled, chucking the lighter as far as you could, managing to make it over a fence and into the park.

Jungkook had just gotten out of the back seat in time to witness your little display. He didn’t say anything, simply grabbing another lighter from the front seat along with a cigarette for himself and walking it over to you.

You let him light your cigarette and the two of you stood for a minute in silence.

“Does this mean you’re actually back…” You whispered softly, almost not wanting to even ask, not wanting to know if it wasn’t the answer you were hoping to hear.

Maybe Jungkook knew that. Maybe that’s why he didn’t say anything at all.

He never told you he loved you, he didn’t even try and make you feel loved.

Maybe it was good that way, it might make it a bit easier when he leaves again.

Maybe it was better that way, it was kinder than being lied to.

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