#so it's all kind of tainted
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hahahahahahahahahaha, yeah, yeah, okay, this is very funny, cuz that is in fact where i grew up. it’s, like, five minutes from my childhood home via car. 😂
small world!!! that's totally wild! my family was spread around the area—some in miami, boynton beach, coral springs, etc. i went down there for my great uncle's funeral in?? 2021? but before that i hadn't been back since 2010. sadly i gotta admit, it is not my favorite part of the world lol
#ask#lauriscrafty#i truly hated the year i lived there#my childhood memories of spending summers there is mostly colored by my memory of living there now#so it's all kind of tainted
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[Avengers Academy: Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic (2024) #29]
[Daredevil (1964) #270]
#Marvel#Daredevil#Avengers Academy#Blackheart#Abigail Housman#Just me enjoying this comic; still nothing to see here#I wouldn't say I have the highest regard for how the AA series handles Blackheart. (He's just incompatible with the overall tone.)#but I can still enjoy this more somber issue with a throwback all the way to his first appearance#Giving her botanist roots tying in with his rose motif is goooood#The way he talks about her is so kind and reverent#as if he thinks of her as his mother or the like#But it was her brutal death which created him which is tragic#(He grew roses for her I decided. But because he is so tainted he did it wrong. Making more thorns than flowers.)#Blackheart as a character and concept is so GOOD#I need him to be in more comics I actually want to read haha#Come back to DD my son#We're doing demons so there's never been a better time#Long Post
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I do kind of hope a series gives us a Megatron and Optimus with a “strangers to respected enemies/rivals to potentially more (at least in the fanfics)” sort of dynamic
Because I feel like that doesn’t really happen, at least not to my knowledge. I feel like if Megatron has a respect for Optimus, it’s usually due to their long, shared history, not something that develops over the course of the series
And I know some people say that’s what happens in TFA, but no, it really doesn’t. The two never reach the “respect” part, with Optimus hating Megatron for being an evil villain, and Megatron seeing him as a nuisance at best and never bothering to learn his name, only calling him it once like 2 minutes after being told it earlier in the fight, which I think in context doesn’t really count for much
I just feel like it’d be neat to properly explore, especially since I’m realizing we seem to have it fairly consistently be that they were “old friends” for a while now, let’s shake it up a little
#sorry another late night thought I had to get out before I go to sleep#I wonder if some of these “I want this to happen in a future series” posts come from me not knowing what’ll come next#like I haven’t been in the fandom proper long enough to see a new iteration of Transformers yet#since it was the release of Transformers One that brought me here#and also while there is a series currently happening#the series is kind of tainted by its Season 2 shift#like just objectively that’s one of the things it’s known for now#so I’m waiting for a new fresh start at this rate#and there’s also a new series we know will be happening soon but there isn’t much info yet#so maybe all this comes from that#and when a new series does come out I’ll calm down#but anyways what was I saying?#yeah let’s shake things up a little more#I think strangers to respect would be neat for the two#you don’t have to add the “potentially more” in there I just did because shipping and fanfiction#I probably need to branch out my shipping fields for these two#anyways#transformers#megatron#optimus prime
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Alright know what here's a little Guild Wars 2 reblog game for everybody; what mounts (if any) do your characters have in their canon, do they have names? Personalities? How'd they meet??
Spill it all below, tell me about all your creatures!!
#my posts#gw2#guild wars 2#thinking about this a lot lately since mine def do!#I'll start: Pirkko has branded mounts and while I haven't named most of them. they were all branded over by Aurene#because they'd been corrupted by Kralkatorrik and they wanted to see if Aurene's magic could purify them in some way#it usually didn't work but Pirkko keeps the ones they saved#Larimar is her skyscale. his egg was tainted by the Brand before he hatched so Aurene was barely able to save him#he's a chivalrous knight type and is known to be just as noble as the Commander who raised him. brave. bold. kind of a dork.#while the Commander is fighting he circles up above and swoops down to rescue injured soldiers from the front line#Saoirse meanwhile gets the SoTo skyscale egg and that hatches into Nightshade. he's fierce and protective too#but in a much more 'loyal guard dog' sort of way as opposed to trying to help everyone else as well. he's an axejaw!#in Regrowth Ceara gets Foxglove because the Commander and Gorrik could NOT manage this little troublemaker#she's too smart for her own good and is CONSTANTLY causing problems. so basically just like Ceara HDKDHDH#Foxglove's a lunarmane! and she's very fluffy and cute and will give you the big shiny eyes to mooch all your food. evil#Ruju meanwhile has a full cast of different mounts who all were troublemakers in different ways when he found them#his griffon Windshear's a northern featherwing that was notorious for carrying off travelers in Lornar's Pass. turned out she was just bore#she's very playful and mischievous and still grabs him on a regular basis. he absolutely hates this#his fulgurite ridgeback jackal Thunderclap was a rogue jackal that the djinn had him help recapture and tame#he's imbued with Ruju's air element magic and is known to make the air spark and smell of ozone when he's annoyed#then there's Blitz his lepidote brute skyscale! he likes bloodstone magic and kept nipping everyone until it was finally provided#the rest I don't have in-game yet but I DO have concepts for the skimmer/warclaw/raptor. the 1st 2 I know what skins I want too#the skimmer will be a frosty-dyed lithosol named Frostbite. it's an ice elemental that terrorized Frostgorge Sound#the warclaw is a spinetail nian with jungle colors since it's supposed to be a smokescale-type saurian critter#and the raptor is SUPPOSED to be the jungle raptor that plointt grew to huge size and promptly tried to eat him#BUT there isn't a skin that feels close enough yet so rip. Fang is a handful tho and keeps trying to chew on Inquest HDJDGDH#ANYWAY. that's all of mine. throws this into the wind
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An interesting story idea that's been floating around in my head from playing Fields of Mistria is the idea of someone that has a rough job full of stress and drama suddenly calling it quits and moving to the country side to become a farmer. And at first, everything is great. Their neighbors are nice. Everyone in the town gets along.
But the more time they spend there, the more... eerie it gets. Like everything is perfect. Everything. Their crops grow perfectly. Their animals never get sick. There is no drama within the town. And as much as it is eerie, it's also... boring in a way. Nothing new happens. Nothing ever changes. Things keep going as they should. Everybody continues on with their perfect little lives as if they never faced a day of trouble within their life.
And the when you sit down and really think about it.... You realize. You're fundamentally different from these people. From this little world they created. You're from the real world. You've faced and are aware of real world problems. Your life isn't perfect, even if the tiny world around you is. You're still mentally ill. You still have family problems. Your friends from out of town have their dramas.
And, in a way, you find yourself longing for what you left behind. At least that world felt real. At least your actions had real weight to them. At least you knew how to navigate the world.
And that's all I got.
#story ideas#people that are addicted to cozy games just don't get it#theyve never played the old school animal crossing games where they called you fat and ugly to your face LOL#i guess a world like fields of mistria would sound great to some people but to me it'd just.....#feel empty#like everyone is living in a world of denial#they act like everything is perfect#depending where i can go with this story it could go to horror#where like.... the mc realizes they are essentially living in some kind of truman show simulation#or it can go.... idk#the route where they decide to cause drama and havoc to taint the town LOL#idk ideas#all cozy games feel so empty#stardew valley focuses all on mechanics with nothing in storytelling#fields of mistria tries too hard to create a cozy life thus making it feel empty#coral island is................ idk they tried too hard on storytelling and made it boring#really can't rely on cozy games to give you a genuine otome game like experience like for real
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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Anyone got any nice stuff suggestions for someone not having a good time of it lately? Music recs, tv or film recs, loustat fic recs, real life pick me up recs, absolutely anything that helps you feel better when you’re feeling shit?
#there’s a lot happening right now and it’s getting on top of me#fandom’s usually my happy place but given what’s going on over on twitter involving people I know#yikes#feeling quite tainted by association and I’ve been obsessing over it in a way that isn’t helpful to anyone#I’m glad I set a time limit on the twitter app and on the website on my laptop but it’s leaving kind of a void#because I’ve got fuck all else going on right now for a bunch of shitty reasons#so there’s no distraction#I should be writing but I can’t focus enough to get any words out
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FEBRUARY RECEIPITFY TIME BABES thanks for tagging me @raplinenthusiasts 🤍
i’ll tag @livelocks @cosmicdreamgrl @senor-hoberto @jkvjimin @rjshope @captainassmerica @hopeinthebox @jinstronaut @permanentreverie @summerwave @epiphanytear @hvseoks @kimtaegis
#i really don’t believe that I listened to any of those songs more than red wine supernova but okay#how are the boyz so high up on my artist ranking when I can’t name another song by then#Omg I bet I played them at work and they kept looping while I got pulled away from my computer#SHES TAINTED THE RESULTS !!!!!!!!!#SORRRRRRYYYYY#everyone else. yeah that checks out#I listened to Chappell roan so much this month she changed the venue of her show so that I can now go to it <3#I have tickets to see 6 of my top artists this year that’s crazyyyyyyyyyy#my friend got tickets to see something corporate which is why I was bumping jack’s mannequin btw iykyk#I love when my all time favorite song shows up. been feeling kind of nostalgic lately for some things coming up soon <3 (heaven)#tag game
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i wish i hadn’t seen so much hype around Armand before starting the show bc i think i was waiting for some shocking revelation instead of truly following the story and developing opinions on my own and now I really don’t know how to take him
#interview with the vampire#for context i did not read the books i just have a few mutuals that watch the show#and they’re all obsessed with Armand so that was all I knew going into it#and I just feel like now after watching the whole thing I have a very clear idea of all the other characters except for him#like even if I don’t necessarily like a plot point I can see how we could get to this point with these characters and where to go from here#but with Armand I am just so confused I don’t know what he’s doing or why ?? what is his goal?#and now I’ve seen some some fandom opinions about other characters that I very much disagree with#so I feel like my opinion of Armand was probably tainted by seeing so much of him on my dash before watching the show#:(#I mean I’m glad because it convinced me to actually watch it#but I feel like it was kind of disservice to a very interesting character
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when i say match my freak i mean i need you to feel just pretend [live 2024] by bad omens like it's drugs
#citrine speaks#idk yearning for a 3 am music partner.#its such a sacred experience to me and the idea of having someone that Gets It and can share it with me is. yeah#but also its sacred time and a sacred kind of high. and part of me fears ever sharing it because it's mine and precious to me in a way i#cant articulate#its me. at my core at my heart this is me this is precious and the idea of letting anyone into that is terrifying#BUT. mayhaps one day someone will come along and make it not scary.#idk theres an analogy about my music library and my heart in here somewhere. if i give you my Actual Favorite Songs im offering you#like. the keys to the kingdom. idk my love for music is so all-encompassing and i just!!! am very protective over it and that experience#you shall not taint it etc etc
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pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.
#AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I HAD THEM STEALING THEIR WAY OMTO#THE PLATFORMS WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNN oh i love being right#also that all the kids are there watching when he kills the guy whose name i forget because i simply cannot hold names in my brain but the#evil one. who i was like oh thank GOD he died i was so sick of this plot he kept killing everyone & i screeched when he almost got claudia#something something calla saying ‘you’re not a child anymore’ about tenax’s cruelty to the brothers (which in my twisted narratives. sorry.#there’s only one scorpus who KNEW the child tenax was. the child he’s still healing and caring for. all of the children whose eyes he looks#into and sees a hurt that’s just like his? the children tenax saved whether he’ll admit it or not? scorpus saved him. and that’s all)#(also this is a terrible thing to say i knew it about but like. oh i knew it about the master of the house. tenax making sure NO ONE#touches the kids or does anything with them really but Claudia and him—the people he trusts which also now includes calla but he makes sure#it’s someone he knows. also do we have a claudia backstory??? or would i just get to invent a reason why she’s there and what she’s doing#and why she’s so loyal to tenax. did she also see the child he was and that’s why she’s so protective of him but also why she gets along#with calla so well because the two of them see how he’s festered in that. like calla fully has the rights here i think she should rip him a#new one for his lack of decency and good qualities he can be corrupt without being cruel y’know. and he should be called out on his#peter pan ass behavior you’re not a child!! there are such consequences!!! dream a little bigger a little kinder!!! change the dream you#made up with scorpus when you were a young angry teenager and make it fit who you are NOW. the life you want NOW not the life you thought#you should have & deserved. what did you learn from growing up. what changed. what do you need now & what do you want. not the same things#and i too wish that this was 30k and covered their entire backstory#BUT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION of i also need it to be 100k canon-divergent (presumably. i’m only through episode eight. but i can’t imagine#that they will follow the plot EYE would write because they need to have a second season & you can’t have that without conflict which means#titus overthrown scorpus is gonna die metaphorically or literally etc etc the gold faction in shambles but technically triumphant with#domitian on the throne and tenax in a position of patrician power accepted into their society but still not equal and happy. whereas lmao#domitian you’re getting shipped off to some other city because your plot to overthrow titus failed and yet he is merciful enough he won’t#kill you he just sends you and hermes together (at which point over the months long journey you forgive and re-learn each other bc titus#didn’t know of the betrayal he thought it would be kind to send your (ex-)lover with you. do we see how this works perfectly) & tenax falls#back into the underworld where he now knows he belongs because blood is everything except when it isn’t. when he realizes what he has is#worth more. no matter if the blood he has is tainted or patrician the blood oath he swore with scorpus iron on their tongues means more.#calla’s split lip defending him and their winnings. kwaame’s blood on the hard packed sand of the arena fighting to stay alive and to come#home to them. the fire in aura’s cheeks when she laughs at ivy. SURPRISEEEE EVERY NARRATIVE IS A FOUND FAMILY I GUESS IT SPRUNG ON ME TOO.#and tenax doesn’t mind a little dirt and bribery every now and then. doesn’t aspire to former heights and shining brilliant out of shadows.#the gaudiness of gold &flash of fools’ dreams. YES CAN I FINALLY PLS GET MY BLACK FACTION TO REPLACE THE ILL-FATED GOLD THATLL COLLAPSE W/D
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*through gritted teeth* ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you ppl can ship whatever they want and it’s fine it doesn’t affect you people can—
#I need to stop seeing douma/akaza stuff like. now.#I’ve tried okay I’ve tried to even mildly like it and nope#I can’t do it. I cannot do it whatsoever#I JUST DONT GET IT I DONT GET IT I DONT GET ITTTTTTTR#I know it’s my thing where I viscerally dislike ships that are based on two characters#who are on the same side but STILL fucking hate each other#because literally no matter what it just feels so weird and forced to me#like they are on the same side. they have similar morals already. if they were gonna like each other AT ALL… they would#but yeah no I’m hffjdjdksk I can’t do that one anymore#and it used to be such a rare pair so it was really easy to avoid and now I’m seeing A LOT more of it and it’s getting more difficult#and I dunno part of it is the idea of shipping douma with ANYONE#like I can’t stand him being shipped with shinobu kanae or kotoha either#his canon interactions with them have just tainted it sooooo much for me#and like yeah rocks at glass houses I’m aware I’m the enemies to lovers weirdo who ships characters who keep trying to kill each other#but mannnnnn something about the idea of shipping a guy who terrified a woman so wholly she threw her baby off a cliff because that was a#better alternative to him getting his hands on her child? yeeeeaaaaahhhhh… it’s not gonna be for me folks#it is NOT a kind of power dynamic I am gonna enjoy when it’s that particular angle#the context of their relationship cannot be that removed to me#it’s just one of my person nope. can’t fucking do it don’t fucking like it kinda makes my skin crawl things#which in a way is unfortunate#cuz I actually do enjoy douma as a character a lot and I can enjoy certain explorations of him#where he actually DOES learn to be in tune with his emotions again and learn to care for someone#but I rarely see it done well#and when I see ANY of that so called ‘development’ linked to any of these ships#it’s usually just akaza or Kotoha or shinobu getting over their hatred/fear of him in way too fast and highly unrealistic ways#while douma does very little to actually develop himself he just kinda is Automatically better because someone loved him back#(in a way that’s usually out of character for everyone involved lol)#esp when any of these ships are showcased in a REALLY cutesy way like again it’s just not for me#I don’t think I can ever really jive with it#oh well. I should just block some more tags I just needed to complain a bit first lol
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this song to my bf
#I can't help but feel this song is “tainted” though because it kept me living during February tho#and uhhh that month was horrible#so like all I can think of when I hear this song is “oh.. those dms.. wtf was wrong w me..”#finn yaps 🎀#I try to yhink about h8n instead and it fixes the song a bit#but like#aoaukshekwhwkej idk#⊹ ⋆꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹ my rose#floyd's just a faggot 🎀#★ finn sings 🎤#anyways I'm the possessive kind frfr#HE'S MINEEEEEE OAJSLSHSLEJKENE I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LUCKY I AM THO#MY MANNNNNN ILYYSMMM#Spotify
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Really struggling with trying to figure out what's me. Like what I enjoy and what ideas/traits/desires are actually my own. I think it's beautiful that people influence each other and grow together, but I'm left feeling lost right now and wondering what's actually me.
#idk ive been thinking about it a lot and really struggling#hard also to tell what's the depression and whats actually something i don't care about#i feel like i can say that playing world of warcraft was something that came from me.#but it started feeling like a chore in Dragonflight so i stopped playing.#and now everything feels tainted by other's influence and i dont know whats me anymore.#although i do need to remember that i did start playing Dragon Age on my own but it only feels like it was influenced by others because#i discovered my one irl friend used to love the games and then i got my other irl friend playing them#but i dont know how much of going into physics was my own choice or just following the path i saw before me#although i loved physics when i started doing mechanics in calculus and thought it was so cool#then i found accelerator science and detectors and nuclear physics to be so cool when i did an internship at a national lab#and then i took the most direct route to get into doing research at that lab#but things have gotten so lost and tangled up with all the horrible stuff that grad school puts you through#and the horrible stuff from this collaboration in particular#that it feels like all thats left is shame and fear and none of the wonder or curiosity#everything i do or write or whatever feels like an opportunity to 'get found out' as a fake or just fill me with shame#i thought that getting a job offer would fix me and help me get through the bullishit but the pressure is makikg things worse#and with this job im wondering if im just doing what im told and being influenced by other's suggestions and wants.#(dont go to grad school. its literally the worst thing you can do for your mental health)#vent#okay this actually kind of helped so im glad I made this post#feel free to reblog if you relate
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@outofthiisworld asked- 🖕 A headcanon relating to anger !!! Headcanon Ask Game (accepting!)
It's not too uncommon to see Lambda snap at someone or seemingly lash out out of frustration. That's all it is though. Surface level frustration or irritation that makes itself know every now and then. Or well, often given the shoddy grasp he's got on it. But pure anger? A angry Lambda is scary.
Because it's one thing to hit or throw something at the person/thing that upset him, it's another thing to lash out at whatever or whoever made him mad, it's an entirely different thing to sit there and stew in that anger until you get up and try to hunt them down to take your anger out on them. Yeah, Lambda does not handle his anger well, much less have a way to handle it all.
He knows he doesn't have a good grip on it as well. He doesn't like the way he feels after he lashes out. He doesn't feel vindicated afterwards. He feels... horrible. He hates it. He hates the guilt and hates the fact that he feels utterly miserable after. It's a cycle to him. He explodes, he tells himself he'll have a better grasp on it next time because he has to, and then... he never does.
His anger is all consuming and burns within him like a fire, and it keeps eating him alive.
#//TY BOO!!#//tunglr was being such an ass about that meme but it's all good now? hopefully?#//but yeah! the guy raised in an environment with a mother that lashes out at everything at the drop of a hat picking up on that#//he thinks that because of that he's kind of screwed over no matter what kind of help he gets. he thinks what he's picked up from his-#//-mother has more or less tainted him and that he's just stuck that way#//so he's stuck in between knowing that he needs help but feeling so utterly helpless because he's so used to be left to rot in his-#//-feelings and then behaving like that didn't happen because that was simply what his family did. double that knowing that he's stronger-#//-than most people so he KNOWS he can't afford to lash out like that because people will get hurt#//but he's stuck in a snake eating its own tail kind of scenario when it comes to that so#//tldr; much like a lot of lambda's emotions they are messy and he cannot properly articulate them but he knows they feel bigger than he ca#//-describe them#//like its something huge that's been forced to cram inside and fit inside his body and it's scary for both him and everyone around him#//it's just so WAAAAAGHGHGHGHGH#//anyways tag ramble over fbhndjghnj#why are you botherin' me? {answered memes}#hidden depths {info}#outofthiisworld
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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
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