#so it kind of seemed like my parents in source set me up to get cursed and now i am still a werewolf whose name was technically given to me

[schadenfreudich]

What I find really funny with the changes of my source character and me is that the first version of my character was a silly werewolf guy, then I was very edgy, which was also when I introjected and now I am somehow back to being a silly werewolf guy (now with more gender!)

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Creepy Bunny Hybrid

After a criminal conviction, the claimed hybrid shelter responsible for sourcing most of the beloved species of hybrid is set to shut down

It’s employees pleading with the public to take in their hybrids who’d be otherwise left on the street

Enough for your parents, who you’ve come to live with, to worry

While they were undecided about the morality of owning hybrids

Humanoids with some animal features

They were determined to be helpful 

whether they truly felt such justice or enjoyed the good samaritan role they’d take in a low-maintenance hybrid

A White rabbit with crimson eyes 

In your opinion one of the more beloved species that would’ve found a home somehow but you couldn’t complain

“Welcome Hori! We hope you can find a home with us!”

“Yeah make yourself at home. Don’t mind our kids they’ll be happy to explain anything you need.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Come come I have to show you all the cool things I have!”

Your family takes to him like metals to magnets 

Hovering near him and waiting on him like he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread

But he’s just so incredibly…quiet

Not just because he doesn’t speak unless spoken to 

But because he just doesn’t move

You’ve peaked at him sitting in the living room on a chair with no book, no TV on, windows closed, no music playing

What kind of bunny sits in the dark and does nothing

His large red eyes are huge, his ears incredibly long and upright

Skin  so pale, he could pass as the undead

Hori won’t even eat like other bunny hybrids

When your parents first gushed over his photo too many evenings were spent looking up what a bunny hybrid would need

Vegetables, fruits, bunny-hybrid pellets were what they filled the cabinets and fridge with

But he ate none of that 

Barely nibbling when your brother excitedly presented the spread

“This looks…good.”

Barely a quarter of the plate was gone

Before he claimed he was stuffed

The second your family slipped up though and handed him a plate full of steak 

he left nothing on the plate

“I thought bunnies weren’t omnivores?”

“...Maybe the original animal doesn’t but I am a hybrid. Things are…different.”

“Yeah (Y/n), things are different! Stop bullying Hori!”

It oddly feels like Hori is not all he seems 

Constantly seeking out hotdogs over the fruit you offer

Or spending unusual amounts of time staring at the passing neighbors

Or coming home at unspeakably late hours

But every time you tried to bring this up your family would scorn you

Writing off your observations as you being nitpicky

Or even jealous of the newest member of the family

“Just know (Y/n) you still hold a special place in our hearts.”

“Yeah no need to whine, we won’t forget you.”

“Just don’t take it out on Hori he’s been through so much.”

So you settle to avoid him

Just let him be in his parts of the house and you in yours 

But that doesn’t seem to work with his edition

“(Y/n)...will you accompany me on the grocery run?”

“I thought my older sib was taking you?”

“Originally…but I’d like for you to take me!”

“Uh…”

“Come on (Y/n)! Take this time to bond with Hori! Maybe you’ll find something’s in common between you two.”

It’s annoying that he insists on doing things with you

But it’s just some things

And of course, because he’s so creepily quiet it almost feels like you’re by yourself

It just gets worse

“I want to sleep with you, (Y/n).”

It was way past midnight and Hori was above you 

Caging you between his arms as he practically laid above you 

There was blood around his mouth and if you had the space you’d check over you body for a wound

“W-wh-what?!”

“Hori? (Y/n)? Please?!”

“T-t-that’s not even a real sentence! Please get off me!”

Once he does reluctantly give you space

You flick on a lamp or use your phone’s light to light the room

Hori’s hair is much longer, flowing past his tail 

Which was no longer a small puff ball now bloomed into something larger

His ears were incredibly long and twitching as though it was filled with joints of its own

His teeth seemed like they had no end, just rows and rows of spiny teeth all coated with the gunk and gooey mess of a carnivore’s meal

“All that blood?!”

He licks an abnormally long tongue around his mouth

“The left-of-overs from dinner.”

“Dinner was hours ago!”

“Not your dinner my dinner.”

The implication made your stomach twist

“Uh was it good?”

“Very. Now, sleep with you?”

You hoped he’d forget but if only to get some semblance of control and maybe be able to fall back asleep 

You relent

“Fine, but I’m not going to share my blanket…you’re a lot bigger than before.”

“It's okay those covers are not the heat I am after.”

You decided not to comment on it, wrapping yourself in your comforter

Letting Hori’s much larger limbs wrap around you tightly

This creepy bunny continued to surprise you

You could only hope that you’d figure him out soon 

Or your family might be the one to pay the price

[sadtonight]

"OH MY GOD YES, YEESSSSS!!!!!"

Summary: people know you as a short-spoken, stone faced perfect, appearing completely apathetic and emotionless. But even with those circumstances he managed to fall in love with you. One simple message asking you out on your first date... turned out to be too much for you to handle;

Characters: dorm leaders;

Warnings: none, reader is gender neutral, reader is Ramshackle perfect with Grim, newly established romantic relationships;

Side notes: guess who remembered about Grim? This work is sponsored by "internal screaming" gang (and me 🍃)

Riddle

— at last he was relatively free: there was no unbirthday party to be held, all the homework was complete and equestrian club activities concluded. Although one thought in particular still seemed to be somewhat daunting: Riddle wanted to progress with the romantic relationship you two had started some time ago. It was "about time" to arrange....a romantic date with you...

— it wasn't Riddle's idea per say, he was clueless about how relationships fared since his parents, well, weren't the perfect image of what love looked like. Ace was, on the other hand, aware how everything worked to everyone's surprise (and to his annoyance), so he boldly suggested his dorm leader to just ask you out via simple text message;

— the suggestion didn't sit right with the red haired boy — you didn't show your emotions that much, which sometimes left Riddle with the sense of fear looming behind, afraid of making mistakes when it came to relationships. You were understanding and kind, always reassuring him that everything was alright. All of the sudden Riddle got a rush of anxiety that he stubbornly suppressed: one short greetings and an invitation, that's it;

— however, your lack of quick response only fueled his worries. He knew it, he should've had a proper meeting! The boy headed from the stables straight to the Ramshackle dorm, when suddenly he was yanked out from his thoughts by a scream which erupted not too far. Riddle picked up the pace, rushing to the source with newfound seriousness until....

"IT CAN'T BE REAL. RIDDLE ASKED ME ON A DATE, I'M FINALLY GOING ON A DATE WITH RIDDLEEEEE!!!" you breathlessly yelled and spinned few times around the nearby bushes that happened to be rose ones. You craned you head to smell the tea rose — it's sugary smell already setting you into the romantic mood: delicious tea and desserts shared with Riddle! You couldn't contain your excitement!

— all previous concern evaporated, leaving Riddle wordlessly stand there after what he had witnessed. Normally, the red haired would scold you for rising your voice in public, but this time he forgave you. Because, now Riddle wanted to scream along with you: he was very happy that the two of you were going on a date, too!

Leona

— when guys from Savanaclaw saw you first time around they stupidly believed you to be as cleaver as a domestic cattle. But unlike them, Leona saw you being a few steps higher than the idiots, since you were mostly silent because of the brains that you actually possessed. Same brains that rested in a adorable head of yours;

— that's right: obviously not out loud but the thing was, Leona was in love with you. The person who was as emotional as a brick. The beastman tried so many times to get any reaction of you with little results thus far — the only time you properly showed something was when he had to confess his feelings, doubting you would have guts to do that first;

—although you were showing the signs of mutual attraction, soon Leona got bored from the cat-mouse game and just spilled the beans one day. Ever since that, you two were officially a pair, though you weren't constantly attached to his hip for better or worse. Ruggie quickly refused the searching chore, so the dorm leader had to use his phone more often to notify you of his whereabouts;

— currently he was resting on a soft grass in the empty greenhouse, one arm supporting his head and the other holding his phone. A thought about calling you briefly came to his mind. Nah, Leona yawned: a message asking you on a date would do just fine. When the beastman was done he closed his eyes for a moment, only for his ear to pick up a sound which he recognised very well. It was a notification sound, not from his device, after a second of which an abrupt scream echoed in a vacant greenhouse;

—"YEESSSS. HAHAHAHAHAHA NO FREAKING WAY, LEONAAA KINGSCOLAAAARRR I LOVE YOUUUUU" followed by the sounds of shoes hitting the ground, which were akin to someone jumping at one place. Still clad in white coat you dashed out of the botanical garden back to the lab where Grim was, completely engrossed in your rejoicing that you didn't notice a pair of green eyes following your form, concealed behind the tropical trees and plants;

— tch, you could be really damn loud. It was annoying, so annoying that Leona didn't make any attempts at shaking off the soft look and genuine smile that appeared on his face. That bastard Ruggie teased him the whole evening about how mushy the lion was, but it didn't matter. Leona had a date with you, that's where the real fun would begin;

Azul

— no-one could imagine that someone as talkative as Octavinelle dorm leader would date someone with few words to spare. And certainly, your terse replies did bewilder Azul even to this day, however, he quickly accepted that part of you but not without kindly advising you to add more words to your speech. What's more, he adjusted to your strange-- ah he meant, fascinating communication style as best as he could;

— though it wasn't necessary since you fell in love with Azul the way he was. On the other side of things octomer had hard time recognising just what exactly he felt towards you. You nor Grim were barely of any value — even as workers both of you were easily replaceable. Additionally you were frankly put, poor, and rarely came without Ace and Deuce duo to dine in the Mostro Lounge;

— and yet Azul liked your company the most: it was refreshing to be listened for once with no judgement following afterwards. Although this way, he accidentally confirmed that he indeed harboured romantic feelings towards you. It wasn't the smoothest love confession, the one Azul deeply regrets making, yet it happened so he had to live with it for the rest of his life;

— next step would be frequent meetings, which he couldn't arrange due to his busy schedule. But it didn't prevent Azul from wanting to go on dates! Thus he settled for a laconic text message due to how packed the restaurant was when a generous discount was offered that day, he physically couldn't send anyone nor himself to deliver the invitation. Octomer was in office discussing with Jade what were the plans for the rest of the evening until their conversation halted upon hearing the sounds of commotion slipping from the main dinning hall;

— "OH MY GOD????? AZUUUUUULLL, GRIM AZUL-- I CAN'T BELIEVE ITTTT. HE ASKING ME OUT ON A-- ON A DATE!!!!"— your cried out, startling grey monster and others who were present in the restaurant. Poor Grim even dropped the piece of fish he had on a fork right on the floor, not that it stopped him from picking it up later, but he still whined for you to keep eating in silence;

— ....this.... energetic reaction from you surely was a great surprise to Azul. Equally astonished Jade turned to face his dorm leader, but the later only folded his glasses on the desk and layed his face into his palms. Azul could feel just how his face was burning from the embarrassment through the white gloves. It was amused Floyd who entered the office, with no filter repeating what just happened that forced octomer to tear his face away and order him to be quite in an unusually flustered high tone.

Kalim

— Scarabia dorm leader was tasked with something that was harder even than the homework teachers assigned: Kalim desperately wanted to ask you on a date! But....how would he do it? A word from Jamil, a surprise party, firework show— just how must he go about this whole thing? He was completely clueless!

— you were beautiful and wonderful and awesome and much more stuff he could name but you weren't talkative enough for him to understand you fully. At first, Kalim believed you were just shy: so he tried to ease the "tension" but often times he made things worse. Oh he forgot to mention that you were also extremely patient with white haired boy. That's why he fell even more in love with you than at the first sight ha ha!

— honestly Jamil found the whole situation to be needlessly tedious and decided to step in just this one time. First and foremost, Kalim had homework to do and prepare for exams so getting rid of disturbances was top priority. If Kalim had troubles choosing the way to ask you out, then he should just do the simplest thing in the book. Text you in Magicam;

— fortunately the vice dorm leader's proposal sounded good enough for Kalim, who gingerly pulled out his phone from the sand-coloured coat and shoot you a quick message. If the two of them didn't stay in the library to study, Kalim would let out a loud sign of exhaustion. Romance seemed to be so easy in the fairytales, like the one in particular from back home, he recalled. That's when all of the sudden someone let out a yelp that almost made Kalim fall off his chair;

— "WHAT?? A DATE WITH KALIM??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! WOOOOOOOOO YEEEAAAAHHH, LET'S GOOOOO!!!!" you let go of the books you were holding, which fell right on top of Grim's head, and squeezed the phone with both of your hands while staring at the text. The monster was about to angrily tell you off when the librarian came over to you and demanded to be quiet in the reading room;

— Kalim's wide crimson eyes stared directly at wide-eyed Jamil. The later was signalling for the white haired boy to be quiet too and not to make any sounds. But given what Kalim just heard, he couldn't help drumming a little happy beat with his hands against the wooden surface of the table from sheer excitement. He finally saw it, your unrestricted elation!!

Vil

— Vil wasn't the impatient type of person per say. Yet him constantly flicking his eyes back at the clock, which was hanging in the Pomefiore gymnasium that he and other members of the club were currently occupying, would prove otherwise. It wasn't like him — and so it bothered Vil to no end;

— the truth was that beautiful male had too much on his hands recently, which normally wouldn't mean anything if it wasn't for you becoming his partner just a while ago. And by whims of fate, Vil couldn't even partake in the relationship. How ridiculous was that?

— that's not the only reason Vil's attention was drawn to the clock: the weather forecast showed that later today would be raining. And judging by how fast the clock went and his club members — not, the male wouldn't be able to even properly ask you on a date he started planning long time ago;

— Vil wished not to come to this, but it seemed like sending you a messenger via phone would be the best set of actions. The practice was basically over, so the troupe dissolved, each member doing their own thing. That included Epel, who wasn't in the club yet was supposed to do some chore for his dorm leader. The lavender boy hastily dialed your number — he was supposed to give you the history hometasks because Grim didn't note anything down as per usual;

— now just as impatiently awaiting for your reply, Vil looked around the room until he spotted Epel talking to someone on the phone. That's when from the other end he heard a distinct shouting: "I'M DEFINITELY DREAMING, VIL IS ASKING ME ON A DATE AHHHHHHHHHH!! I'M GONNA CRY FROM HAPPINESS, OH GODDD" — which without a doubt belonged to you;

— while first year winced from your loud celebrations, third year had to turn his face to the side and cover his mouth with a hand. Weren't you full of surprises, Vil thought out loud in a half whisper. The male then straighten out, pushing partially blond hair back, and made his way to Epel: he would very much like to speak to you now.

Idia

— Ortho was truly glad to see his brother change for better: despite still prioritizing himself above all, Idia had made tiny changes to improve himself in ways he could. The reason being not solely for himself or his little brother, but also to you, a stranger, a person outside of his circle;

— even the slightest reminder of the two of you being in a romantic relationship made Idia's palms excessively sweaty. With how low Idia's charisma stat was, he continuously speculated how this was all a set up. You were a real life kuudere and he was a socially inept weirdo, and yet with his incoherent rumblings, simultaneously self-deprecating and arrogant way of speaking flamed haired male somehow won your heart over;

— well anyways, what was important is that it didn't feel like he was talking to himself since you actually listened: asking him questions and stuff. Man, Idia really wanted to see you now — he recently found something that would definitely pique your interest. The male ordered Ortho to shoot you a text to come over to his room real quick. Who knows, maybe your eyes would widen and you would go "kyaa" or something, that would be a super rare sight indeed whehehe;

— as on a cue, just outside the door to his room the strangest noises have resounded. "HFSUHSHSUFJGGJGJ, IDIA YES YES I WILL GOOOOOO, I WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOUUU" screamed a suspiciously familiar voice. The smaller Shroud checked the screen and happily declared that it seems that you were in a close proximity when the text had been sent;

— just what did Ortho typed you?? And THAT was your response?? Why it was so inhumane??? K.O., instantly in a pink blaze, just bury Idia in the ground already. For a second his little brother became really worried about his older brother well-being. Idia would probably die if he was drinking soda at that time. You didn't even know what was going on behind the closed doors, and maybe, that's for the best.

Malleus

— people were always a puzzling creatures, yet you proved to be even more enigmatic than those Malleus was fortunate enough to interact with. With little to no emotion and no unimportant word ever spoken you seemed cold and distant, just like his beloved gargoyles up on the roofs;

— for that reason he took a liking to you: meeting after meeting, Malleus came to see if you would show him anything, any smallest signs of emotion. He has become rather greedy with this, with constant need for your presence. However, how could briar prince be around you without any specific reason? And so the reason was created — you were his partner from at some point on;

— while it meant that his visits were now justified, Malleus did not know just what exactly romantic relationship carried with themselves. Undeniably, he felt his heart ache with adoration but what could he do to show you that? That's when his fae guardian came in for the rescue: Lilia, who took it upon to himself to teach everything he knows about dating;

— while Lilia had good intentions, the tale about "romantic dates" that humans practiced intrigued Malleus so much so he immediately wanted to hold one, which wasn't the initial plan. It took time to convince young prince to not disturb you at midnight, when you could possibly be already fast asleep, and instead send you a text message which you would read later. Not completely convinced, Malleus caved in, agreeing to go though the other fae's suggestions and under his guidance sending a bit too formal, awkward invitation for a date;

— not being sure what to do now, the dragon fae stared at the screen when the pop up window about the video call appeared. Confused, Lilia instructed him to press the green button, and just when Malleus's fingers came into contact with his phone it erupted in shouts;

—"GRIIIIIIIIM, LOOK. MALLEUS ASKED ME OUT ON THE DATE, HE WROTE ME A MESSAGE IN MAGICAM. IT'S REAL, GRIMMMMMM!!" your face wasn't visible, yet the voice undeniably belonged to you. You must have accidentally pushed the video call button, Lilia guessed as he chuckled, muting the microphone not to ruin the moment;

— Malleus had hard time understanding technologies, but what was crystal clear to him is your feelings. Now he had a better grasp of what was going on in your head. Truly, the fae was more than satisfied: to witness such a boisterous reaction just from a mere messege. Malleus couldn't wait to see what else you could reveal to him....

[pwippy]

initially i thought it was odd that humans would be educated on religion, but it didn't clock that it's not human religion.

anakt is actually the name of the company that runs anakt garden and sponsors alien stage. you can see its logo throughout the event on stage, on props, etc.

to the humans, though, it also seems to be a religious figure.

the great anakt is viewed as both a divine entity and a location that nearly all humans affiliated with anakt are aware of.

when till's life/death comic came out, till's mother praying to anakt especially surprised me considering i thought they were in the slums (similar to ivan) but no! they lived in a human factory!

this would explain how anakt's facilities would include a screen with the girl from top 3, essentially flaunting the results of their work and sponsorships. it's a constant big brother esque reminder to the anakt parents of what their children will become if they are "successful;" a widely valued commodity. a product.

back to the main point, religion is usually suppressed in dystopian settings as it gives the underdogs a sense of hope. but what they were given a sense of hope through more indoctrination? through the exact same facility they're supposed to remain loyal to?

^ from the 2022 stream :')

enter anakt's classes, standards, etc. anakt's classes are just straight up brainwashing, which is overall pretty unsurprising to establish a sense of control. the great anakt (to my understanding) is a big brother type figure (oh wow! 1984 mention). a symbol of some false hope the humans can look up to so they can be complacent to the aliens.

theres also the whole standard singing position being clasped hands! very reminiscent of praying. singing, which is seen as a kind of aesthetic?? crying???? by both humans and aliens is intrinsically linked to emotions, vocal power, expression, etc. in the alnst universe. by implementing a sort of "proper" way to sing, this further gives the aliens control over human's actions when their source of entertainment is the closest thing some humans will get to freedom.

the pose of praying also supports how the characters express their wants, desires, hopes, dreams through their music. each song performed serves as an "i want" song, hero's journey style.

this push-pull dynamic in song is actually lyrically won by the humans! that sounds odd considering their situation, but despite the indoctrination, humans in alnst find other sources of hope. each other.

-my god my universe monologue

blink gone is an exception because its purely a performance theres like. no love. yaugh. ow.

[maryhadalittlehobby]

Recap of IWTV Screening and Conversation at 92stY

(Please dont repost/reupload my pics or vids from here or IG anywhere else. Sharing/linkinh is ok. Thanks!)

I started the day with a fang gang meetup hosted by Black Girl Talks Fangs. The restaurant was cute and the food great. I'm not a big wine drinker but got a blood red Chateau in honor of the occasion. After, we headed over to the event space.

In my experience attending different events there, the actors typically come in just before the event starts or a few minutes into the screening.

In this case- it was both.

Eric strolled up super casual and had a convo with myself and a few other fans asking if we had read the books and what we were looking forward to. He gave a parting message that the season is amazing and he is not just saying that because he is part of it. I believe him. He was super personable and down to earth.

Delainey arrived next and again kind and generous with her time. She has a very chill energy. Her outfit was more casual this day but I thought chic and the face card never declines. Her makeup artist does her right! And can we talk about that sleek ass ponytail

She complimented my cosplay and said she thinks my beret might be the screen accurate one!

She asked to touch it and said mine was softer!

She also said Carol Cutshall gifted her the beret so she owns Claudia's.

I put this cosplay together in 3 weeks which is barely enough time. Thankfully I had the idea knocking around since October when we first saw this fit in the trailer that dropped at NYCC 23.

Myself and a few fans waited till about 15 minutes into the start of the screening before we gave up on waiting for Jam Reiderson.

While running to the screening I nearly literally ran into Rolin. I asked for a quick pic which he obliged.

The episode was amazing. Very much on par of season 1 so far. Can't wait to see the full thing. Delainey fit into Claudia seamlessly.

The panel itself was great as well. I have a few vids in my IWTV highlight on IG and a few others in an upcoming youtube video I will make AFTER the episode drops. There are some spoiler bits plus 92Y is dropping the full panel too after the ep airs.

Highlights include watching Jam Reiderson literally communicate telepathically- what was the fun on set story?!

Sam slapping Jacobs' lower inner thigh in front of god (Rolin) and everyone.

Working together is like putting on an old glove. An old sock?! Lol what. 'Is that dirty?'

Assad trauma dumping on main. "Armands lost...like me." "I'm intimidated by the cast" Sir please!

Assad also being spicy saying he thinks Armands memory of Lestat is pretty accurate. Drag him king😄

Delainey and Jacob gushing about how they immediately bonded and established their father/daughter/sibling vibes.

Eric calling Jam puppies and Jacob saying "I'm a grown man a parent"lol Sir you are a baby girl as evidenced by

Rolin saying that's a book and this is a show. To me that said was book lovers have the book and you always will but this is a new thing that respects the source but isn't tied down to every single detail.

Then Sam saying there are contradictions even within the series. Please lets talk about it.

And I love this new narrative everyone is spinning, even Sam, who seemed to be in the Lestat is right and Louis is lying boat last press go round. Now everyone is saying there is no right and wrong or truth and lies-the story is told by different people with different perspectives and that's all. Which yes! that's ALWAYS how I saw it! Just because Lestat became the main character and most favored doesn't mean he is infallible.

Jacob and that plushie. Who would have imagined he'd love it so much. Another fan was coming with their Lestat. I don't know if they had intentions of giving it to Sam but sadly they didn't make it.

After the panel I went back to the spot and aimed to get Jacobs signature on my Street of Immortality print which I managed.

I would have loved to get Sam's to but I also wanted to give other fans the chance to get photos and autos. I was already so lucky.

They signed for a loooong time. So long I thought our side wouldnt have a chance or only a few people would. Turns out fans were conducting mini interviews with them lol Someone needs to collect all the questions and answers.

Also they are the smallest cast you've ever seem. Pocketbsized. Everyone one of them is so unassuming.

Overall I had a super good time. The audience vibes were immaculate. The person beside me during the screening/panel was losing their shit then apologizing. But honestly I was here for it lol

Also you could 100% tell it was an audience full of the online fandom.

I ended the night checking out the Time Square ad. It was awesome to see our vamps represented. Hopefully we get a ton of new fans from all the amazing marketing this year.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

My question is to the Minister for Nagi Seishiro and I ask— i finally remembered my question hahahah

What’s your thoughts on Nagi’s psychology and outlook in life?

The thoughts of him telling Reo “means you matter to your parents” is hitting me hard. Had me thinking of [redacted] but in a different hard-hitting context.

AHHHH HIII OKOKOK so idk this is probably an unpopular opinion because everyone likes taking nagi’s character at a very surface level but i think almost everything about nagi can be very easily explained if you think of him as someone who is very gifted but suffers from parental neglect

symptoms/signs of parental neglect:

image sources: [1], [2], [3]

there’s plenty of examples of nagi showing all of the symptoms i highlighted throughout the manga, epinagi, and his light novels, so i won’t add in screenshots because i’ll hit the image limit 😭 but it seems to me that while a lot of people headcanon nagi as not caring about anyone and wanting to be alone, that one line about how reo’s parents’s suffocating parenting style means they “care” about him, however misguided it may be, proves that he does want someone to love him and look after him, considering his own parents never really did so. it’s mentioned that he and his parents had a “friend-like” relationship but you can NOT have that kind of relationship with someone you are meant to raise!! (that doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly and supportive with your kids, but you need to be responsible for them in a way that friends aren’t so that they can grow up into well adjusted adults)

incidentally this is also why i like him and barou together and why i think nagi really shines around barou — barou’s probably one of if not THE first person to not only pay consistent attention to nagi but to do so in a way that sets and maintains boundaries (as in, not letting nagi get away with anything the way other characters do). it’s annoying to nagi in the way that getting yelled at by your parents for misbehaving is annoying to you in the moment, but at the end of the day it’s good for him and what he has been missing for much of his life

[neopoliitan]

RWBY Evermorrow Ep.7 Director's Commentary (or something)

The newscast segment was a late addition, we decided it was best to move a scene to a later episode for a better sense of narrative. I even already animated that whole scene so we don't need to worry about it!

We were gonna use Lisa Lavender here, but decided it was better to use Cyril due to availability of existing cast members as the scene was kind of last minute. We see it as Cyril being the guy in the studio, and Lisa being the reporter in the field.

Khaki's prison number is funny if you can decipher it.

Originally this episode was a big ol scene of RWBYCRDL recounting the mission to Oz and Glynda, then the punishments being dished out, but I was having such a dull time writing it that we decided it was best to cut the recap of the immediate previous episode and hope the teams' reactions did the work. I think it was for the best, a glorified recap episode seems like it would've been a waste of production; if it wasn't fun to write it wouldn't have been fun to watch.

It was a good time to bring in Glynda as she's always been Beacon's voice of reason around Oz's more whimsical tendencies. She's to-the-point and will make no excuses, which sells the teams being reprimanded more. Plus the added questioning of what exactly Ozpin is saying to Cardin offscreen is an interesting question in the viewer's mind.

(Also our Ozpin VA was kinda unavailable but for a very good reason lol)

Let's talk Dove. You've probably noticed he's very much the reasonable one on EM CRDL at this point, which is very intentional as going in I wanted to make them more interesting than Cardin and the Cardins. CRWBY once said Dove was the most skilled of CRDL, which is an interesting angle, and Doves are a symbol of peace which inspired me to make him the """nicer""" one, albeit a bit embittered by his lot in life. This episode has a montage of the moments in ep5-6 that really lay it all out that he's a little better than the others on his team, which is why Ruby vouched for him.

There was going to be a decent focus on family in this episode, but eventually we whittled it down to just Russel's and Dove's. Being like "oh and here's a character's parent being funny and mad" worked twice, but three to eight times might have gotten old lmao

Why did I pick Bertilak for Russel's guardian? Green. Mohawk. Moody. Not a big Faunus fan.

Okay so that's only part of it. Russel has been consistently portrayed as a bit of a doormat in EM, following Cardin's orders or deferring to the next biggest fish if he's not around. His actions around Bertilak imply that the latter is the source of all that behaviour.

Dove offers Ruby an "Olive Branch". I don't know if I can get more unsubtle than this.

Don't ship them they literally feel nothing about each other. That's canon.

Why did I pick Shopkeep for Dove's grandpa? Closed eyes, and Shopkeep is everywhere. That's literally the joke.

Pyke Rite from The Grimm Campaign.

There were a few characters I really wanted to get involved sooner. Can you believe it took us till Ep7 for Ren or Nora to say anything? It felt good to have all of JNPR and OP(A)L fully animated in the same scene, and was fun to set up dynamics like Oscar being a fanboy, Alyx being a little shit and the two teams generally getting along.

In comparison to 6 this episode was a lot calmer and a lot more talk-y, but hopefully we managed to make it fun. The animators and VAs did amazing as always (the former has basically eclipsed my efforts at this point), and I'm looking forward to ep8 very much! Bigger and better!

If you have extra questions about this ep you can shoot me an ask, I'm always down to self-indulge lmao

[arcane-vagabond]

Fool's Fare: Prologue

Fool's Fare: Prologue

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Captain Jake "Hangman" Seresin had come close to swinging from the gallows more times than he would care to admit. He's stolen, cheated, even killed. The worst thing he's ever done? Broken the heart of a woman. Having broken the heart of the woman whom Davy Jones himself had fallen for six years ago, Jake is now cursed to live as something not dead, but not alive. He's doomed to live a half-life for the rest of his existence unless he manages to obtain the treasure Davy Jones deems most valuable. The problem? He has no idea what it is, and he only had seven years to obtain it.

Trigger Warnings: Death of parents, angst, talk of ghosts and the supernatural, Big Brother!Bradley...I think that's it?

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I couldn't help myself, so I went ahead and wrote this. I am just as interested as y'all to see where this fic goes lol As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are encouraged and appreciated! I'll be doing Drabble Sunday this weekend to celebrate my first 100 followers! So get your requests ready!! 18+ ONLY!! And you can find me on AO3 under arcane_vagabond!

Series Masterlist || Moodboards || Playlist

The ocean was a deep, terrifying swirl of forgotten pasts and harrowing mysteries. The vicious pull of the waves sending many sailors to their graves for thousands of years without mercy. No, the ocean was not kind. It was the source of life on the best of occasions and cruel and unforgiving on the worst.

Your father had been a sailor. Working for a large shipping company hauling various goods from one end of the sea to the other, he was often gone for long stretches of time. After months of being away, it was always a joyous reunion when he would return. He would swing you up in his arms, twirling you until your little giggles turned into full blown laughter. He would set you back down on your feet and greet your mother with an affectionate kiss to her temple before tugging you both into his arms.

“My best girls are always here to greet me when I get home,” he’d grin. Your mother would hum, running her hands through the beard he’d grow during his time away.

“Come inside,” she’d say, leading you both into your modest, seaside home. Your father would sit at the table as your mother fixed him a plate. He would tell her that he was more than capable of fixing his own plate, but she would wave him off and place the food gently in front of him with a kiss to the top of his head.

One day, when you were a little over four years old, your father had come home from a voyage with a scraggly looking boy who looked to be about twice your age. Your father had been dragging the boy by the scruff of his collar when you and your mother had come out to greet him. The boy had dark brown hair that had been bleached from time in the sun and steady, brown eyes that held steady as he took in the house before him.

“Found this one on the coasts of the Carolinas,” your father had said with a grin, letting go of the boy’s shirt. He stumbled forward, almost falling headfirst onto the ground. He looked back at the older man with a scowl before turning to look at the two of you.

“My, don’t you look a sight?” your mother had said with a small smile as she took the boy in. He puffed out his chest in a bid to make himself seem bigger and your mother had laughed. You took the few, small steps up to him, taking his hand in yours excitedly.

“My name is y/n,” you chirped up at him. “What’s yours?”

The boy studied you with pursed lips.

“Bradley,” he muttered. Your father had let out a booming laugh, causing Bradley to jump.

“That’s the first answer we’ve been able to get out of him since we caught him rifling through our supplies on the ship!” he guffawed. “C’mon now, boy. Let’s go get us some supper.”

And so your family had taken in Bradley Bradshaw as one of your own, and he settled in fairly quickly amongst the rest of you. He would help your mother out with different chores around the house, and when your father was home, he would take you and Bradley down by the docks to teach you the ways of sailing.

“You want to tie it like this, sweetheart,” he’d say to you as he guided your hands on how to move the rope. “It’s one of the most important knots a sailor needs to know. It’s called the ‘bowline.’”

“Like this?” Bradley had asked, holding up his own rope for your father to inspect.

“Atta boy, Rooster!” your father had laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. Bradley had earned the nickname not too long after he had joined your little family. Your father had just gotten back from another transporting job. He had been woken from his sleep by sounds coming from the kitchen. When he had stumbled into the room, he had seen Bradley already working on feeding the fire for the day.

“The sun isn’t even up yet, Bradley,” your father had laughed as the boy shrunk in on himself. “I doubt even the rooster is awake! Looks like you’re gunnin’ for his job.”

And the name had stuck.

Now, Bradley was more confident in his place within your family. Now, Bradley was much taller and his form was filling out thanks to the many hours spent doing the heavy lifting around your home.

“Keep this up,” your father started, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips, “and maybe I’ll take you with me on a job here soon.”

Bradley’s face lit up. “Do you mean it?”

“Let’s see, you're about, what, sixteen now?”

“Yes, sir,” Bradley nodded, a smile etched onto his face. Your father nodded thoughtfully.

“Yeah, you should be ready here soon.”

You looked down at the rope in your hands with a frown. “I’ll never get this. Why do I even have to learn this?”

“Because, my little minnow,” your father smiled, “it’s an important skill to know and have.”

“But Mama says that women aren’t even allowed on ships,” you muttered. Your father smoothed the hair out of your face with a thoughtful hum.

“It’s true, women were once considered bad luck to have on ships, and many men still consider them to be so,” he began. “But times are changing, and maybe one day soon you’ll get to set sail with us.”

“Really?” you asked him, eyes filled with hope. He laughed and nodded, turning to look at Bradley.

“C’mon you two. Let’s go see what Mother’s been cooking.”

The three of you trudged up the hill to your home where your mother was already standing outside to greet you. Greeting her with a tender kiss, your father ushed you and Bradley into the house.

When supper was finished and the table had been cleared, you all gathered around the small fireplace. Your father sat in his favorite chair while Bradley and your mother took up the other two. You sat by your fathers feet, resting your head against his knee. The smell from your father’s pipe permeated the room and left you with a sense of fond familiarity as he slowly stroked your hair.

“Papa,” you said, “will you tell us a story?”

“And what kind of story would you like to hear, little minnow?”

“An adventure!” Bradley had grinned. You shook your head.

“No,” you argued. “A ghost story.”

“Ghosts aren’t real, y/n,” the older boy scoffed. Your father hummed with a low chuckle.

“I wouldn’t be so sure o’ that, Rooster,” he smiled. Bradley fixed him with an incredulous look.

“Surely you can’t be serious?”

“As the dead, lad,” your father said solemnly, rubbing the bowl of his pipe. “Ghosts walk amongst the living, as real as you or I. Some even sail the seas, waiting for the day Davy Jones lets them pass into the great beyond.”

“What does Davy Jones even have to do with the dead,” Bradley huffed. Your father arched an eyebrow at him.

“He has everything to do with the dead at sea, Bradley,” he replied softly. “Davy Jones is a powerful man. Not quite human, not quite god. He’s as cruel and unforgiving as the sea, and some even think he was born from the waves that beat against the rocks by the shore. They say his very will controls the tides, and any man foolish enough to invoke his wrath is met with a gruesome fate.”

“Those are just superstitions,” Bradley countered with a scowl.

“You’re free to believe that,” your father began, “but you’d be a fool to. No sailor with a lick of sense is going to take that chance. Davy Jones will come for us all.”

“Why does Davy Jones stay at sea, Papa?” you chirped.

“No one is quite sure,” your father mused. “Perhaps he’s searching for treasure.”

“Would you ever go looking for treasure?” you questioned. Your father smiled.

“I’ve already found my treasure,” he said, casting a fond smile to your mother, who blushed under his gaze.

“Have you ever seen Davy Jones?” you prodded with wide eyes. Your father chuckled, patting your head in reassurance.

“No, little minnow. But those who have are few and far in between. Davy Jones isn’t in the business of letting witnesses stay alive.”

“That’s enough, Maverick,” your mother had chided. Your father had the good sense to look sheepish. Maverick was a name your father had earned during his time at sea, and your mother only called him that when she was cross. Usually, she called him by his given name; Peter or Pete.

“My apologies, Penny, my dear,” he said. Looking back down at you, he offered a smile. “Alright, y/n, it’s time for bed. You too, Bradley. I need you up bright and early tomorrow morning.”

You and Bradley bid your mother goodnight as your father followed you down the hall. When you had crawled under your blanket, he had made sure to tuck you in tight.

“I didn’t scare you too bad, did I, little minnow?” he asked. You shook your head vehemently.

“No, Papa. But, what if you meet Davy Jones one day?”

“That won’t be for a good, long while, sweetheart,” he said with a smile. You nodded, resting your head back down onto your pillow. Your father leaned over to peck your forehead before standing to walk out the door.

“Goodnight, y/n,” he said. You smiled.

“Goodnight, Papa.”

A good, long while was not long enough in the end. It was six years later when you got the news that your father’s ship had gone down in a storm off the coast of the Caribbean. Your mother had been beside herself, crying all hours of the day as you and Bradley did your best to stay strong for her sake.

Bradley had caught you crying by the fireplace one night after you thought everyone had gone to bed. He sat next to you, and pulled you to his side as you cried into his shoulder.

“I miss him so much,” you sobbed.

“I know,” he said softly. “I do too.”

“He should be here.”

“I know.”

“It’s not fair,” you cried. “We didn’t even get to bury him.”

“I know, Guppy,” he sighed, hugging you tighter. Bradley wasn’t very good with words, and he sure as hell wasn’t good with emotions. “But he wouldn’t want us to dwell on this, you know that.”

“I know,” you sniffled, rubbing at your eyes. “He always loved the sea.”

“He loved being here, too,” Bradley countered. You looked up to see his own eyes glassy with unshed tears.

Your mother had followed your father not long after. She had stopped eating and barely took a sip when you begged her to drink some water. She would stay perched by the window in the bedroom she once shared with your father, just staring out at the sea as if willing him to return. It had ended up being a fever that had taken her one early, autumn morning. It was your turn to be inconsolable as you once again found yourself buried into Bradley’s shoulder as he held you tightly. You buried your mother on the hill that overlooked the sea, forever waiting for your father to return home.

You and Bradley had stayed by her grave until the sun began to set.

The following days were filled with familiar motions and quiet sobs hidden behind closed doors long after the stars began to shine in the night sky. One night, you had set a bowl of stew in front of Bradley after he had come home from working at the docks. The two of you sat in silence for a few more minutes before Bradley pulled you to your feet. You went to say something, but he motioned for you to be quiet as he pulled you through the front door and out of the house.

“Where are we going?” you hissed quietly.

“Just trust me,” he shot back, dragging you down to the beach. The cool sand rubbed against the soles of your feet as you followed him, and he stopped you when you both were standing at the edge of the water. The water felt like ice as it licked aginst your ankles, and you felt a shudder run up your spine.

“There!” he called out, gesturing towards the open sea. You looked, but saw nothing but the white caps of waves.

“I don’t see anything,” you mutter, shaking your head. Bradley offered you a smile.

“That’s because you aren’t looking hard enough,” he murmured. He bent down, pointing his finger so that it was directly in your line of sight. “There, do you see it now?”

You squinted your eyes, trying to see what it was he was looking at. “Rooster, I don’t-”

“I see them,” he interrupted you, smiling confidantly. You fixed him with a puzzled look. “I see Mav and Penny just over there past the waves.”

Your heart stopped and hot tears licked at your eyes as you looked back at the churning waters. It was then that you saw what Bradley had been talking about. You saw your mother and your father with smiles on their faces, staring at each other with adoration clear as day on their faces. You wiped the tears away from your eyes as you looked back to see them waving at you. You huffed a laugh and smiled back at them with a wave of your own.

“Looks like Davy Jones let Mav come back for his treasure,” Bradley said. You threw yourself into his arms, holding him tightly.

“Thank you, Bradley.”

The sea could be cold and cruel, but you had the strength to weather the storm.

[crownmemes]

Questioning Sentences, Vol. 16

(Questioning sentences from various sources to ask all kinds of muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"What do you do when you get home?"

"Have you ever killed anyone? I mean, have you ever got actual blood on your hands?"

"You do realise the risk if anyone sees us?"

"You haven't come here to bump him off, have you?"

"Really? I did that?"

"Are you drinking all alone tonight?"

"You look awfully serious. Is everything okay?"

"You're a killjoy, you know that?"

"You know who's behind this, don't you?"

"Are you kidding me? You're actually bringing this up right now?"

"You're afraid of him, aren't you?"

"Don't you realise how ridiculous you seem?"

"How close to death do you want to get?"

"What do your parents think you're up to down here?"

"Do you know what the ultimate secret is?"

"Is this real, or some strange and twisted dream?"

"Why would I feel guilty about doing my job?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"You've set up this whole operation without telling me?"

"I don't really have old man ear hair, do I?"

"What makes you think that I'm going to fall for that blatant manipulation?"

"Are you accusing me of covering up a crime?"

"So, there's no one special in your life right now?"

"Do you remember the first time you handcuffed me?"

"Is there not just one tiny part of you that wonders if I'm right?"

"Is this a trick question? What answer isn't going to have me sleeping on the couch tonight?"

"Do you ever think that maybe you're overreacting a teensy bit?"

"How come we always end up like this?"

"What's the next step? Do we escalate?"

"So, at this point, we have no human suspects?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Do you believe in God?"

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Since when did you ask permission to ask questions?"

"So, do you ever do anything for fun?"

"I've got to warn you, he's lacking in some of the social niceties."

"Can I see you again?"

"Are you having a breakdown?"

"Are you still getting the flashbacks?"

"Is my death so important to you?"

"I thought I told you to stay over there?"

"Maybe this is a sign?"

"But of course, you've heard me tell that story once or twice, haven't you?"

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks Season 3 Shot by Shot Trailer Rundown

I do not own any clips or screenshots, all rights to Netflix and the creators.

To say I'm still reeling would be the understatement of the century, let's get into it.

John B: "From the very beginning, it was always Kooks..."

Even though they're set on us prying this orange filter from their cold dead fingers, these first two shots are actually stunning?

"...and Pogues"

Holy hell, we know we have all the ohter Pogues reuniting with their parents after they get back home, so JJ being all alone at this house is actually so heartbreaking.

Jiara nation rise, it looks like Bracelet Touch™ takes place at the empty Maybank house I'm not well.

"Some people with everything..."

Why are season 3's always everyones haircut season in shows like what is the source of this phenomenon?

But Rafe and Barry with the key

This hiding job is on par with JJ throwing pew pillows over it in the church.

Although, kind of think this is them getting ready to try and melt the cross down (which makes me so beyond furious), because off to the side you see the lighter fluid and the muffin tins, then later there's shots of gold.

"...and some with nothing."

The DIVIDE. I actually love the dynamic of Kooks vs Pogues heating up and the two cultures that try and exist on a very small island together. Especially since this season seems to be Kiara centric, her whole identity being called into question about where she falls I NEED IT.

I cannot even begin to express how sad I am that we're probably going to get approximately 3 seconds of them hanging out on Poguelandia because look at them!!! Let them be happy!!!

"That's the way it's always been."

SDHCULAISUEHLWAG JIARA FISHING ISNT JUST A MONTAGE I REPEAT JIARA FISHING WILL NOT JUST BE A MONTAGE.

I LOVE HER SO MUCH YES BABE GO FISHING!!!

Pope and Cleo making a signal fire together. Looks like that scene from the teaser of them walking in the field was probably them trying to scout out a good spot for it.

Jarah B looking fine as hell John B I know that bandana is your father's but i cannot even begin to imagine how disgusting it is at this point I'm sorry-

IM BEING SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS!!!!

I feel like both this shot and the previous one are them being saved by the plane that lands.

(@whitetrashjj the mullet truther, your time has come).

"Until now."

This may be my favorite John B set up narration so far.

Also, like I said, them getting rescued by the plane. Kiara looks almost hesitant? Could be the same shot as above where her and JJ aren't too sure about this plane or the people on it.

MMMMMMMM VERY concerning JJ bike crash. Pope and Cleo (or maybe Kie?) in the back of the truck with a crate.

Okay this is SO intereting to me because Ward with blood all over himself (whatelse is new?), Rafe, and Sarah helping him? I can't tell what's in his hand. But the family dynamics this season are goign to be somehow even messier, I can feel it.

Kiara getting kidnapped and taken to wilderness camp, I'm so not ready for this like. It's for sure the Carrera house in the back, the two shirts say Kitty Hawk Adventure.

For a long time, we all thought this was going to be something they ended the season on, but now it seems like it'll be a plot point in the middle. Thanks to @sun-undone and her unhinged costuming documents, we know that this yellow halter top is after the Carrera anniversary party we got BTS from (with the Jiara gate fight and John B rocking Topper's shit and Mike's "see, this is what I'm talking about, JJ"). We know Kie is seen later witht he Pogues, so Blue Ridge may be a quick, one episode plot mid season.

If they've been holding Blue Ridge over her head the whole season, then John B beating the shit out of Topper at the party is sort of the last straw, I cannot een begin to imagine the fight that he and JJ will have about it????

JJ and Kiara INSIDE the Chateau and a fire being lit OUTSIDE? If someone's trying to burn the house down witht hem trapped inside there will be heLL TO PAY.

IF THE CHATEAU GETS BURNED DOWN IM COMING FOR THE PATES I STG DON'T DO THIS TO ME WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD BE MY CHILDHOOD HOME BURNING KJDFLAIUDHFAL??????

I know that Cline talked about having to mentally take Sarah to some very dark places this season and this shot just confirms my theory that I seriously think Sarah's going to kill someone and deal with the emotional consequences of that.

I want this to be feral JJ so badly after Kiara's taken, but, sadly, he's not in the right outfit. Not the first time we've seen machete!JJ though.

We saw this shot in the teaser, but looks like they're climbing up an abandoned elevator shaft. They're in their clothes they have on get reunited with Kie. I think it's from the same abandoned hotel the Pogues (minus Kiara, probably because they're going to save her) are in front of in a different shot.

Andd here it is: the new plot of the season and confirmation they're going after fucking EL DORADO NEXT LIKE.

Important to note this is shot on a plane as well.

Oh the Twinkie, how I missed you.

oh look they remembered a mom besides Anna this season WHY MY EYES WET LIKE THESE REUNIONS ALSO WHILE JJ IS COMPLETELY ALONE. HEYWARD, ADOPT HIM YOU COWARD!

Kiara's relationship with her parents is so askjhfailsuh COMPLICATED because I think they really do love her. And she wants more than anything for them to understand her and they just keep missing each other.

"My father and me..."

This shot is very aesthetically pleasing to me. That's all I have to say about it.

YEAH OKAY AND THEN I STARTED FUCKING WEEPING BECAUSE THIS?????? I CANT BELIEVE THEY PUT BABY JOHN B IN THE TRAILER?????

If they only do baby Sarah and Baby John B I will do something so drastic-

"...the treasure was our way out."

The way he's looking at his father? Like the pride in his eyes? I know this relationship is going to sting so badly with the way the Pates have talked about John B having to reconcile the idealized version of his father in his head with the one that left him for gold.

This is a kid that hasn't been hurt by the world or his father yet and I wanna hug him.

(post will be continues apparently i can only up load 30 images at once)

[deadkidcourt]

deadkidcourt : our tale of system discovery

I've always been scared of being publicly out about my system, more posts i see from other systems has given me some courage. i like being able to see those posts and see our system or aspects of us in them. I've never publicly spoke of my diagnosis being scared that when people find out that I'm not medically recognized that the fakeclaiming will become really bad. i already deal with so much denial of my own that I've been so scared of rejection from other systems.

we have done extensive research, we have always been very self aware and would never self diagnose without a fuck-ton of research to back it up. we'd always felt like multiple people but not in the way we feel like it now. we'd always been kind of name fluid, loving trying on different names and pronouns. i thought for a long time that, that's how multi-gendered and people who used xenogenders felt.

as time went on, we would have phases feeling girly, wanting a hyperfem gender presentation, and then we would flip 100% and get highly upset even being thought of a girl. even as a child i would act completely different to how i was, and my parents would get highly upset because they felt they didn't know me. saying things like you're acting like a completely different person, but in those times i would get really sad because i was just acting how i felt.

i would often be told i was lying, because one day I'd really like something and the next i hate it with everything in me. people thought i was faking my personality to fit in, but i was just that different. as a teenager i learned about osddid but thought, oh that can't be me! I remember all my trauma! I'm just me! until i met a friend who was a system and learned that alot of how we felt and the things we did were not that of a singlet. that was in 2019, we questioned for a year and thought we were just making things up for attention and to seem interesting (it's not for attention if you're doing it when you're alone.)

i have known about maladaptive daydreaming since i was a child, it was what saved me from most of my trauma. being able to escape to a fake world, but the ‘characters’ didn't change, at least not three of them. we would have random fictional characters show up to, that we would then have a high identity kin with and could never understand why other people didn't connect with characters like that.

one was a girl that always got mad when i was hurting, i thought she was an imaginary friend. someone my brain created to help me feel better about my situation, and then when i was about nine. she would start taking over my body, fighting with our parents when they would act wrong, but after that i would be in control again scared of the repercussions of her actions. this continued for years, i thought everyone made up people in their head to help them and protect them. that's not the case.

in 2021 (roughly) we became highly obsessed with fnaf, circus baby in particular. so much so, we couldn't befriend people online with her as a profile picture. this got bad enough that when a close friend set her discord avatar as glam rock baby (fan design), we had a full breakdown.

all we could think and feel is, that is me, i am that person you cant use that picture thats me and youre not me stop stop stop. our husband has to talk us down, and we kindly asked the friend to not use that character because of the distress we felt about it. we thought that was fictionkin, but it was so distressing and upsetting we had a weeklong disassociative episode and i thought that was just normal. we know now about pur circus baby fictive and have done work to source seperate so as to not have breakdowns and episodes like that again.

now, here's where things get tricky because the memory isn't really there. but from them until this year we fought with ourselves about our self diagnosis, always discrediting our trauma, and symptoms. it wasn't until we told our husband about all of our trauma that he helped us understand how drastic that was especially to a child's mind.

then we started researching, we researched off an on for three years. sometimes noting some people in our brain that we met, but it didn't work because we weren't ready to come to terms with it. the denial was ao bad.

in january of 2024, we had what i know now as a frontstuck host that finally got unstuck and everything started to fall into place for us. we were able to integrate and lose some of our amnesia barriers and i was able to meet some of our alters. it was helpful that our husband was around, because he was able to notice symptoms and changes in our prescence that we couldn't see.

he was able to differentiate between the main four frequent fronters we had at the time and was very patient with us and did research of his own to help us. we tried keeping a notebook, able to see differences in our handwriting and vocabulary choices. the way we dress would change, one loves all dark big clothing while another alter loves showing skin with pastel colors, and another one that just wants to be comfortable. small things like that made it easy to start to see the patterns in our switching. and with learning more, i realized my amnesia is not as cut and dry as i thought it would be. i can remember the bad things but not last week, or last month or yesterday.

there's only ever been one part of our system that we can't seem to wrap our head around. our splitting patterns, and fusing patterns. we have decently good communication, very low amnesia barriers between switching, and i have low access to innerworld. that was all great, but then we started splitting alot, or discovering alot of alters. there would be like 5 alters and 15 fragments and as time went on, i noticed how easily we split fictive fragments and those fragments (usually 2-4 of them) would fuse to make a whole alter. but that alter would have several sources, that always made us feel like we were wrong or perhaps that our system has lied to us. either of which could be true, we don't really care. we just try to take care of ourselves and we try to welcome any newbies to our headspace as gently as we can. we had incorrectly thought that introjects had to have one source, and that set us back on our healing alot. that and we tend to fuse semi-easily and thought we we're lying about our system because of that.

now we just take everything one step at a time, try to meet new alters and talk to them while not forcing it a whole lot. i hope our journey can help you. I'm not the most educated person (i try tho!) so please if I'm wrong about something or something let me know, KINDLY.

- ronnie 💣 and remi 🦨

[petorahs]

this literally proves that Makoto had less than pleasant thoughts about life after his parents died like I literally almost cried reading this response... everytime I feel like I'm reading too much into his character I'll remember this. "Because I know how it feels."

for context, Ken in the remake has a particular aspect in his character emphasized... [under read more are spoilers for his first two linked episodes, as well as discussions of suicidal ideation and depression].

in the original, it was made explicitly clear that Ken was going to avenge his mother's death by killing Shinjiro (who was as he deemed responsible) and then killing himself, because life will have no meaning to him beyond that. he's also a kid in elementary school.

in the remake, we find out that this manifests in several ways. first, he does not allow himself to enjoy things anymore, because that would mean he'd be too attached to his life he's going to throw away soon. when Makoto treats him to a hearty meal, he pauses after exclaiming that "it was delicious!", and that he "can't say things like that". food, one of life's simplest joys, has to be paltry to him. he has to focus on the mission. kinda like a robot.

secondly, he frequently regards things with a set time limit. a classmate invites him to the soccer team in October, but he declines (he was planning to kill himself on the 4th of that month, sorry, can't make it). he asks for Makoto's help to take care of his beloved pet hamster, because he knows he won't be around to. he's literally taking care of his own unsettled affairs like a dead boy walking. not making promises he can't keep (a lovely parallel to Shinjiro's upright advice to not break promises in his own 1st linked episode)

from this it can also be seen that Ken's obsession towards wanting to "seem mature" translates to "not wanting to be a burden", because no one took his problems seriously. just because he's a kid, doesn't mean these thoughts can't plague him. it's also because wanting to die makes people feel like they're taking up too much space. so, to do everyone a favor, disappearing would be optimal. (source: my own old thoughts...)

a common thought process of depressed people is indifference to their own future, like "I don't know if I'll make it past 20 years old" for example. Shinjiro and Ken both have said a variation of this. they know neither of them are making it past October 4th. they have a ticking clock over their heads at all times.

and... apparently. what gets me is that Makoto of all people understands this. understands exactly what Ken is going through. that feeling of needing to isolate yourself because "they won't get it" or "i'm just a burden", of needing to be calm cool and collected at all times, of not caring about the future because you don't see one for yourself, that life literally has no meaning and there's no purpose to it- Makoto understands what it feels like to be overwhelmed by that much dread.

he's empathetic and kind, but has awkward ways of showing it. he extends his hands to those that are in clearly bad shape when no one wants to. that's the kind of character he is, and I won't believe anyone who tries to say he doesn't have one... :")

[absolutebl]

Recs for Uni or HS BLs where studying impacts plot

My ask box is bonkers, sometimes I get a message in email saying someone asked a question and then when I check on the hellsite itself, it's gone... (What does this MEAN?)

Anygay...

@sagi-kari asked a question:

Do you have any recs for Uni or HS BLs where the main focus is studying or study related (they have to actually do the thing). Like LITA with Rain's studies being a caveat to their relationship or Big Dragon with Mangkorn's New York internship/job idr.

Basically, the study needs to be an important thing to the narrative.

This is a doozie and I'm only gonna rec stuff I rated over 8/10

University & HS BL Revolving Around Study

Semantic Error - class conflict is the inciting event, and this is one of my favorite BLs of all time. So yeah, it tops the list. I am assuming you have watched it because EVERYONE must watch this little pice of perfect. Full review here.

Blueming - the school project is the source of the conflict, this is a complicated chewy very thoughtful BL, longer than normal for Korea. If you enjoy things like The 8th Sense you might like this. Full review here.

Love Class - the whole show is about a manufactured relationship as part of a social science class experiment. Full review here.

You Make Me Dance - I mean it's a dance major so no actual book study but yeah, it's there he has to win a dance scholarship as a main part of the plot. I've never done a full review of this, and frankly that's an oversite. Time for a rewatch?

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong - it's about a teacher student relationship so...

Addicted: Heroin - especially the first half, I know what you're thinking, but also, THINK about it. It's all within a class from environment for most of the first 6 eps. I believe it counts. This is, without question, the best BL China has ever produced. FIGHT ME.

Destiny Seeker - an under appreciated pulp that is basically predicated on the university sorting hat. I have great affection for this hot mess, including all the sides. Mostly takes place within and around the complexities of dorm life. Full review here.

Kiss Me Again series (BL cut) + Dark Blue Kiss (AKA the PeteKao series staring TayNew) - it's not necessarily a driver but engineering and study is actual integral in a setting as character kind of way. And there is a lot of "make-out while studying." Plus we in the TayNew renauances and I have great affection for their original series. Everyoen shoudl watch it. Here's the watch guide.

HS BL - not exactly study, but sorta & they really good

Light On Me - Another one of my absolute favorite BLs, but it's about the school government club, not actual study. Full review here.

Love Sick - if you count club activities. I just got a full load up of this series with new subs, so I was going to do a watch along in honor of 2024 (its 10th anniversary). I am still considering it.

My School President - also, if you count extra-curricular & club activities. Another BL that i absolutely adore. No full review but I did have a long discussion on how this plays into Thailand's new norm in BL here.

Takara & Amagi - ugh I love this show so much but it's more about popularity and social acceptance in HS than studing, full review here.

About Youth - if you count external parental pressure to over achieve, another underappreciated gem, this time for Taiwan. Full review here.

I dithered...

Bad Buddy - maybe, I mean departmental conflict is a large part of the story, plus high school back story club activities, but there is very little study. Full review here.

Please feel free to add more on a RP or in comments, but remember my codicil was I have to have personally rated it over 8/10 so your baby might not be on here because it wasn't to my personal taste.

(source)

[that-struggling-writer-lh]

A Flower for Every Secret - Ch 2. Zinnia

PART 2 OF A FLOWER FOR EVERY SECRET.

WORD COUNT: 2248

WARNINGS: Mention of alcohol, Sarah's mother lore, some fluff at the end, Joel is a big softie. 18+ MINORS DNI.

I couldn’t wait for five to come. Tapping at the keyboard on the computer answering emails, answering phone calls and redirecting them to the proper office in the relatively small building. It all seemed so mundane compared to a dinner with the Millers. “Big plans this weekend?” Detective Carrillo mused, and I opened the glass barrier to be able to hear him better.

“Bigger plans than sitting behind this desk, if that’s what you mean.” I smirked up at the officer, “Big plans for your team after I head out?”

Shifts were about to change, night shift significantly more busy than dayshift on Fridays, “The usual. Patrolling gang neighborhoods, probably a small bust or two. Hopefully no big messes to clean up.”

“Hopefully.” I sighed in response, but grimaced at the knowledge of horrors beyond my comprehension just outside the bulletproof glass doors.

The drive home was fairly quick, and I rushed inside to get out of my business casual attire and into a green sundress that fell to my knees. I pulled my french braid out of my hair, leaving big waves that I secured with hairspray before touching up my makeup, adding a little extra blush and a warm-toned pink lipstick. “It’s just steaks.” I said to myself in the bathroom mirror.

I didn’t want to be too early, so I flipped the radio on and set to work on returning Sarah’s favor of making dessert the previous night, baking a quick batch of chocolate chip cookies, setting them on the platter that I needed to return to Joel. By 6:45 I was too anxious to wait any longer and made my way out the front door, slipping into a pair of flats that I had left sitting by the door.

“Going somewhere, Dear?” a kind voice to my left called after me.

I spun on my heel to face the source, Carol. In her front garden beds, gloves on, covered in dirt. “To the Miller’s.” I pointed down to the plate of still-warm cookies and looked to the house directly across the street.

“With sweets?”

“Sarah made me brownies last night, so I’m just returning the platter - and the favor.” I looked down to the paved driveway and kicked a loose rock back into the grass before looking back up at Carol.

She hummed in response, rubbing her hands together to get the excess dirt off of her pink gloves, “Nice night for it.” 

“Yes, it is.” it was still considerably bright out, the sun hardly had begun its descent. But I didn’t let myself correct her, “Supposed to be a nice weekend in general, I reckon.” I added for good measure, not trying to rush the conversation into its finish point.

She nodded, hand on her hip, no doubt leaving a smear of dirt across her overalls; “That’s what the weatherman said this morning, anyway. He’s never quite right, though.” 

“I suppose you’re right, Carol. Weather always has a way of surprising us.”

She gave a polite wave of her hand, as if dismissing the statement altogether. I supposed that signaled the end of the conversation, and I made my way across the street, which had quieted over the last few hours as parents called their children in for meals. As the older families retreated to backyards for beer and card games. No matter how busy the neighborhood seemed, in one breath everything could become so serene.

I knocked on the heavy wooden door of the Miller residence and in no time at all was greeted by who I could only assume to be Tommy, looking much like Joel - but a little shorter, a little slimmer, but the same glint in his eye. “Hi, I’m -”

“I know, you’re here for dinner, come on in, he’s been waiting for ya. I’m Tommy. No need for formalities in the Miller house.”

His home was exactly as I’d pictured. Lived in, loved, but nicely maintained. Photos of Sarah, Tommy and what I assumed to be other relatives and friends littered the walls in all sorts of frames, a big comfy leather sofa centered with the large front window, and a tidy kitchen, all clean lines and neutral tones. Varying shades of beige and blue, broken only with the greens of houseplants and the odd brightly colored things that belonged to Sarah. Her bright pink converse certainly looked out of place next to Joel’s tired steel-toe boots.

“You made it.” Joel smirked as he entered through the sliding glass rear door, a hand towel tossed over his shoulder.

“It was a hard trek from across the street, you wouldn’t believe the terrors I faced on my long journey.” I dramatically sighed, before mirroring his smile, presenting the platter to him. “Cookies.” I stated.

“Cookies?” he repeated with an arch of his eyebrow.

“For, well, everyone, I suppose.”

“Thank you.” he smirked, “But remember when I said I owe you?” he dropped his smile and pointed at me in an accusatory manner, but I could tell from the gleam in his eye it was a facade. 

“I remember that well, Joel.” I started, placing the platter on the countertop, “But I had to bring the plate back, and I wasn’t bringing it back empty, even if Sarah is at her friend’s house.” I recalled the events of last night.

“Let her make cookies if she wants to, I like cookies.” Tommy butted in as he rounded the corner from the living room.

Joel rolled his eyes at his younger brother before retorting, “Nobody cares what you like, Tommy. Nobody except maybe Maria; but even that’s pushing it sometimes, I think.”

I laughed in response, handing Tommy a cookie from the plate, “My own special recipe, guess these are for you.”

“I like your neighbor, Joel.” Tommy pointed to his brother before taking a bite of the still warm confection, disappearing to the backyard, calling for Maria, who I assumed was out in the yard. The smell of cooking meats wafted into the kitchen with the warm breeze.

“Y’look nice.” he stated softly the moment the door shut behind Tommy, and he leaned back against the countertop on his palms.

“I tried real hard.” I matched his tone as I studied his casual attire, plain gray t-shirt stretched across the plains of his shoulders and a simple pair of jeans. Though the admission of me trying to impress him almost made me feel embarrassed enough to stare down at the neat tile flooring that stretched across the kitchen and dining area.

“You don’t have to try. I’ve seen you get the mail in your pajamas.” a wild smirk spread across his cheeks, showing off his dimples.

I tried to stifle my grin, but continued, “You know, Joel, I was almost hoping that it was just gonna be us.”

Something flickered in his eyes, and an eyebrow twitched almost with a question, “That so?”

I nodded, wringing my fingers together nervously, “I had fun with you last night.”

“I did too, Sarah too. She thought you were real nice.”

“She’s a sweet girl.” I nodded in answer, daring a step closer to Joel.

Tommy pulled the sliding door open and looked to Joel before saying in a tone that was almost apologetic, “Hate to break this up, but I know you’ll shoot me if I touch your grill, Joel. You got four steaks waiting to hit the fire right now.”

I hummed in response, following Tommy, who held the door open for me. I didn’t wait for Joel to follow behind, “Then I guess we better get out there.”

A woman was setting out another beer for Tommy from a cooler on the porch, Joel’s lawn was nicely manicured with simple landscaping and a decently sized pool, a nice thing to have to stave off the year round Texas sun. A tall wooden fence caged in his yard, offering privacy from the neighbors to his rear and sides. “Hey! You must be the new neighbor.” Maria greeted me, pulling me into an embrace.

I hugged her back reluctantly, and smiled at her, “And you must be Maria? Heard them talking about how tolerant you are of Tommy in the kitchen.”

“Yes, I’m his wife..” she nodded in confirmation, before holding up a bottle of red wine, “You drink?”

“I do.” I nodded and she didn’t hesitate to offer me an overfilled portion of the wine in a stemmed glass.

Joel wasn’t far behind, toting a stack of plates with utensils on top in his arms. He put them in the center of the table before finding his station at the grill and laying the steaks down gently with a hiss. I tried to look like I wasn’t watching him cook, but his eyes found mine and he broke into an almost shy smile. Maria clocked it almost the moment it happened and she nudged me carefully, “What did you do to Joel?” she nearly whispered.

“What do you mean?” I dropped my tone so as not to let him or Tommy overhear what had obviously just become girl-talk.

“You’ve lived here for two weeks?” she asked.

I nodded, “Only had a real talk with him yesterday, though. Sarah brought brownies over and I let them in for dinner. Just a little small talk before then. His typical Howdy, Neighbor.” I shrugged.

Maria looked from Joel to me and back again just as he looked up from the grill and made a smart remark at Tommy about how dumb a move was in the NBA finals last week, asking if Tommy had seen it too.

I let the talk of basketball fall off my shoulders and focused on Maria and her introductory talk, how she and Tommy had been together nearly ten years, and after seven he had finally proposed. How the Miller brothers could be reckless and silly, but one exhale later back to serious business. How Sarah was the light of Joel’s life, and nobody could seem to hold a candle to her, how nobody ever seemed good enough to be in his circle long-term. Only wanting the best for his daughter. I listened especially hard when the topic of Sarah’s mother fell from Maria’s lips. “They seemed good the whole time. Got married young - too young. Right after highschool. Neither went to college, and then Sarah came along so soon after, he was only 20. Almost as soon as he had time to settle into fatherhood and married life, he woke up to her just… Packed and gone with divorce papers and a note. Never saw her again after deliberations. Her mother didn’t want anything from either of them. The next week Joel started to plan on starting his own company. So he could always have her along, so he could fight for the life his little girl deserves.”

I looked up to Joel, who was smiling with Tommy at his side, and he flipped a perfectly browned steak over to its still-pink side. He looked back at me and the same shy smile made his cheeks dimple, he took a long drink from his beer before turning to look at Tommy again.

Joel plated my meal for me and set it in front of me on the table, he took the seat opposite me, and Tommy the opposite of Maria.

After the sun set and the meal ended he offered to walk me home when I announced I was feeling tired, and he led me through the house, the only lights were soft and warm from a few lamps. “I like your family.” I stated, looking up into his eyes, made hazy by the alcohol.

“I think they like you.”

“Maria and I got along really well.”

He nodded and grabbed a flannel from the rack, slipping it over his shoulders before opening the front door. We both kept a near snail-pace as we descended the porch steps, made our way down the driveway and across the street.

“She told me about Sarah’s mom. Real sorry for that.”

He seemed to stiffen slightly before his shoulders relaxed. “I planned on saying something, but. It’s fine. She’s never known any different than just me and her Uncle Tommy and Aunt Maria.”

“You’ve done great with her. Must have been so hard.”

“Hardly slept the first few years. Felt like all I did was fail her. Then I saved enough pennies to buy the house. Was a real fixer upper. My crew was amazing. Tommy was even better. Every spare moment, free of charge, they were in there making it perfect. Not for me. Not for any favor. For her. Everything I do is for that little girl.” he almost choked on his last sentence, but cleared his throat.

A familiar warm feeling I got the night before spread through my chest and stomach as my feet shuffled up the three steps to my door. I only realized we’d been holding hands when his fingers slipped away from mine with the distance I had created. Each of his callouses brushed against my fingertips.

We bid each other goodnight and I disappeared into the darkness of my living room.

The next day, groggy with a dreamless sleep and a cup of tea in my hand a familiar thud of the newspaper smacking the door sent me to retrieve the paper. Next to the paper, on the worn-out wood was a yellow zinnia, perfectly plucked, obviously meant for me to find.

[evansbby]

Hi this is a stupid rant and you can ignore it.

Lately life has changed so much. I feel like I am a grown up adult now. I started my job. I hate going to office and my colleagues are my colleagues. They are not my friends. Work is too stressful. I am tired so soon. I also have a loan to pay and need to be financially strong as my parents are getting old.

I remember I started Tumblr years ago, when I used to read a lot of fanfics. Everyday I used to open the app and scroll for so many hours. Now things have changed. I have so much in my plate, so many real life problems that I sometimes forget to open this app for days.

I seem to be drifting apart from things that provided me happiness and I feel myself getting tangled in real life problems.

I feel this in my soul, bestie! And I’m sure so many others feel this too! Like I completely get it what you’re trying to say! I feel the total same! I think this is the source of my anxiety randomly getting so so SO awful. Sometimes I feel like I cannot relax, like my childhood and youth is slipping away and adult responsibilities are permanently setting in and I’ll never get that innocent, carefree childhood back 🤧🤧 Where I too would stay up till late just scrolling tumblr, reading fanfics, having zero anxiety bc I had zero worries and responsibilities! And I also relate so much to my parents getting old, me not being able to rely on them all the time, knowing soon they’ll have to rely on me! And I’m not a child anymore!

BUT my advice to you is to keep a strong hold on your little happinesses and hobbies! Things like tumblr and whatever else made you happy once upon a time! I cannot stress how important this is as we get older! WE DESERVE TO READ FANFICS AND HAVE LITTLE HAPPINESSES just as much as the teenage versions of us did!

I don’t know what proper advice to give you as I’m kind of in the same boat as you, but honestly I spoke with my mom about this, and she is the hardest working person I know. Like yall she works so much and so hard 🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺 and she said that there are a lot of little things she finds joy in, and you just need to hold on to those things, take your time to enjoy those things! Don’t lose your interests and hobbies over something like WORK! I know it’s hard but bestie I get you 🥺🥺🥺

[k-s-morgan]

Hi, I hope you are safe and sound

I've been meaning to ask you a question about asexuality but was afraid it would be too personal. Your recent post is about, so I guess it's ok to ask, but if not, feel free to skip

I'm still young enough, going through my university years, but I've never felt attraction towards anyone. Even as a teenager at school. (Now, I'm not even sure if I can love anyone as a partner) Though I like reading romantic stories and do understand when a person is 'attractive' or not. So, the question is how/when did you understand that you are asexual and do you have any tips perhaps? It's just so upsetting for me to feel pressure from not only society but also my parents who expect me to find a lover and have a family

Hello! Oh, please don't worry, I don't mind any kind of personal questions as long as they are not deliberately offensive!

Asexuality means a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, but there is such thing as aesthetic attraction, meaning that you find some people aesthetically pleasing, very beautiful, etc. From what you said, you might be referring to it. Asexuals are perfectly capable of evaluating the general attractiveness of a person and they might even have their preferred ideal of beauty.

In my case: for a long time, I was confused because I felt aesthetic attraction., and like, I adored reading and writing and watching romance stories. It's my favorite genre. All of this made me think that I’m bisexual, and I identified as such. But even when I admired a person’s beauty, it was more like admiring a painting. I felt no desire to do anything sexual with them (or anything romantic). When I saw a great character, I wanted to ship them with someone instead of seeing myself with them.

When I read about asexuality, something finally clicked, and I was thrilled with understanding who I am. I never doubted it since I found my label around 23, and I knew at that point that I’m just not attracted to people, neither romantically nor sexually. If you live that long and you never experience what other people do, to me, it's a clear indication that you're different in some way. I was excited to find the source of this difference.

The most important thing is what and how you feel. You can find a definition that describes you best and makes you feel comfortable; you can change your mind later. Many people dislike labels in general; I felt pleased when I found one, but we all have different experiences. Just try not to push yourself into something you don’t want or don’t like. Even if others don’t respect your sexuality/preferences, respect them yourself and I think (and hope) that you’ll be happy.  

I understand about feeling pressure, and I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say here. My immediate family is very supportive, but everyone else is often annoying. I’ve never dated anyone, I never felt romantic or sexual interest to anyone; I had my first kiss + sex out of curiosity when I was 22, and it didn’t change anything in me - it was just a weird, very mechanical activity. But my friends and most of my relatives still say stuff like, “Oh, honey, you just haven’t met the right person yet! Have you tried therapy? I hope this year, you’ll find the love of your life! Would you like me to set you up with my friend?” My Mom tried to explain to her co-workers why I don’t plan on getting married, and they all refuse to accept that asexuality exists. They think I must be hiding some trauma. This is extremely offensive and infuriating. 

Sexuality is a part of who you are. I try to make people around me understand it, but they just blink at me in confusion. I ask heterosexual folks, “Why are you so sure you are straight? Maybe you just haven’t find the right man/woman.” When my aunt wished me to find a partner for the 100th time, I waited for her birthday and wished her to become a surgeon (she never had any relation or interest in medicine). She seemed to understand something, but a few months later, we were back to where we started. Still, maybe something like this could help you?

I'm comfortable and happy with myself, so while other people are a source of occasional frustration, their opinions don't really affect me.

I don't know how aggravating your situation is or might get, so the only thing I can say is that I hope you remember that your happiness with yourself matters most. You might figure out what label fits you best, you might start/keep changing them - as long as you’re comfortable with who you are, it’s all fine!