ourdogfatherstuff

[pwippy]

oh they knew what they were doing

[atrophiedemotion]

hey Cast! uh so this ask is about. alien stage. but imma send you another about some random shit because why not. anyways

the tags that you had on that previous post with me and plip (the one about ivan and till and how they show honesty differently and how we know about their characters a different amount because of how forthcoming or not they are) and my question for you is, how many of Ivan's actions do you think are representative of his true emotions? I don't think his body language, in general, is very forthcoming but I do agree that his actions can be pretty revealing (he strikes me as an acts of service person especially with trying to escape with Till) but uh yeah I'm wondering if there are any specific examples that you think of as being revealing of his actual thoughts or specific examples of him pretending to be someone else?

thanks for listening to me yap uh I hope you're doing well and that you have an awesome day!

rock... oh boy... this is gonna be a long one. wonderful question. thank you for the ask, i hope you have a great day as well!!

so, i didn't fully explain in the tags because i didn't want to write a full length essay on plip's post (ty plip for dealing w the rambling)(i was also very tired so i wasn't fully articulate lmao) but i meant that ivan shows his emotions through the outcomes/projected outcomes of his actions. he certainly isn't very forthcoming in the way he acts and portrays himself, but there is undeniable truth in the intent and meaning behind everything he does, even things that seem counterproductive.

i think that since ivan genuinely cannot fully be upfront and honest (due to trauma, his lack of self worth, and his decided survival strategy) his main truths show in the deeper meaning of the things he does for other people and himself. with ivan, it is all about intent. i've said before that the only way to understand ivan is to dig deeper and this is very much true here. he uses a lot of subterfuge to throw people off from his actual intentions, but they're there.

ivan often uses unconventional, roundabout ways to achieve his goals/get what he wants- especially when they mean something to him. he is a guy who is caked in layers upon layers of meaning only if you pull back the acres of curtains he's covered them with. he doesn't want people to know what goes on in his head, so he covers it up valiantly. this is due to his low self esteem of course, but also full on survival. in order for his plans to work, no one can be in on it. no one can know what he's thinking. all of his true feelings and thoughts need to be hidden in order to achieve success, but in the end it's fucking hard to not leave a trace of your true feelings.

with all that being said, examples!

the biggest and most obvious examples are mainly related to till (of course they are) and i also feel like they're the most telling. ivan's teachers specifically pointed out that he was only childish around till (they were relieved by it, too, because he was so damn serious the rest of the time and didn't behave like a child should). ivan has the hardest time hiding his true emotions around till, which makes sense, because till makes him feel the most emotion when his are always dulled. that doesn't stop him from going the 'i must hide my crush by pulling his pigtails' route but, y'know.

since most of these are talked about frequently and i dont want to keep beating a dead horse in an already long post, here's a (hopefully) brief list:

-the biggest one, the meteor shower. going through all of that to escape with till, specifically during a meteor shower that it seemed ivan was desperate to show till (to introduce his shooting stars to each other or smth im sure). ivan offered till freedom and denied himself of it when till turned around and he followed him back without question.

-his good behavior can arguably be considered to be due, in part, to the perks an obedient pet gets. this isn't just a till thing but ivan's obedience is very telling of his need and drive for survival, which considering his uhh,, track record is likely largely so he can protect till. gaining perks and learning insider information, like how to take collars off and gain access to isolation cells, assist him in assisting and caring for till.

-the sometimes silent companionship they share. the way ivan will poke at him to get his outright attention but is still at times satisfied with just existing in till's space and enjoying his presence says a lot about his genuine adoration and admiration of till

-his sacrifice. i don't think i need to say much about this as it's pretty self explanatory lmao but it is a Great example of what im trying to convey. ivan does honest things and has to cover them up at the same time. the 'violence' was to end the round of course, but it was also kind of like a familiar bandaid over the painfully honest feelings he conveyed with the kiss. even if he didn't really hurt him he couldn't just be honest

there are definitely more (most everything he does in regards to till tbh) but i wanted to talk about some others too

the comic conversation with sua about her sacrifice! such a big one. ivan's feelings about sua are very complicated, but to me i feel like he cares about her to an extent, almost pitying in a way. he's horribly jealous of her and the love she has, but he sees so much of himself in her that what he says in that conversation is probably at least half projection, even if he's not aware of it.

the way he looks at her without trying to hide his distaste feels like the way he would look down on himself. the whole thing shows not only his disgust with himself, but his anger towards someone who is so similar to him that she makes the same plans in her head even though she has something he believes he'll never have. it's envy, tried and true, and he doesn't even hide it at the time. he hides the self loathing behind it, but still. that might be the most honest we've seen ivan aside from the end of r6.

that conversation also does kind of show the fact that he cares for sua and mizi. sua in a way he acknowledges less to himself, but certainly mizi.

and speaking of mizi, my last example for right now is the way he watched round 5 like he was barely holding it together and sort of did his own recreation of it in round 6. the strangling was reminiscent of the way mizi lunged at luka and he almost certainly got the idea for his method of sacrifice from what she did. it kind of feels like an ode to her, in a way. an ode to mizi while offering himself up for till, which. is very sad but almost a little sweet, that he had a piece of mizi in what he was doing for till.

okay okay im sure i could keep talking about this but ive been writing for. a long time LMAO so i will stop here but! yeah. ivan shows his emotions inadvertently through his actions and about fifty levels of subterfuge. but it's all we get, so...

thank you for the ask again my dude, i really enjoyed answering it!

[imperfectnothing]

Thought of Fai and Yume for no reason a moment ago, and now it won't leave my head the connection I have made of them (+ ciaran & murrelet) with other characters in Danganronpa: Another Despair/DRA.............

!!!!!!!!! Incoming nerd ramblings but keeping them way shorter because I don't want to . Spoil the game. It's so good. So not nearly as ramblings but just me talking about aus tbh w/ the 4 Musketeers (this is just as long as my other asks on your main. Dear God I should mute myself)

First I had them as "Yuki" and Akane, but it would only work in chap6 when the masterminds are revealed (the boredness that MM1 has while Taira is just ecstatic and all about "hes so great, he saved me and I'll forever follow him"). But then I thought of it more and Fai is very Kinjo Tsurugi. Kinjo is so cold, a straight forward guy and such, (tho if in SDRA2, he would most definitely be Syobai. No doubts, only in DRA I see him being Kinjo, for the small things..). — but he's so open to 'Yuki'. He's only ever vulnerable around him (Ciaran can be "Yuki" in this context, but along with Murrelet)- the free time events you can have with him show that.

The memorable thing in my head of Kinjo and Akane is a similar slap scene to Togami and Aoi, and then the mastermind reveal (a bit too early in the chapters but DRA is FUN like that). And honestly the funny thing about Akane is that she is also, honestly a generic girl. So like- that ties well with Yume, and the switch up also ties up with him. The obsession, the devotion. Again, the whole he's so great, he saved me and I'll forever follow him.

With having Fai, Cia and Yume already figured out, I then I had to fill up the space of Murrelet, and I went with Haruhiko (might change if plip decides to do anything with murr). But for now, it's just because I see Murr as just some silly guy caught up in this square with three unhinged guys (again might change, and so he might also be... Shuts up before I say the name and spoil it all)

The thing that's super interesting to me about Fai and Yume's relationship is how utterly incomprehensible it is. Like obviously, from an outside glance, it doesn't really seem that way, it seems pretty straightforward, Fai is the person who is kind of gruff and mean towards Yume and seems not to like him and Yume actually kind of acts like himself around Fai but only because there isn't any expectation of Fai judging him for that. Maybe I'm misremembering, if I am, I'm so sorry but the thing about Fai, when it comes to Yume, is Fai actually cares about him a lot more than he lets on. When Yume dies, that is a catalyst in a downward spiral for Fai which ends up with him lashing out at the other two musketeers and isolating himself (commitment issues) because he views himself as someone who only makes other people's lives worse.

As much as Faisal is unsettled by Yume's obsession and his uncanny "generic" personality, Fai sees parts of himself in Yume (which is why he initially despises Yume so much) but what he sees that's different, he loves. He loves Yume in his own fucked up way and when Yume dies and is brought back as some echo of himself, Faisal is extremely not okay about it.

So yeah thank you for sending me a Faiyume ask this was very fun to mull over and while I'll admit, I've not played Danganronpa, the way you articulate it and connect our characters to it is very very fun

(I'm gonna tag Starry and Plip just in case they want to be tagged, since Ciaran and Murr are mentioned- @starry-skiez and @pwippy)

[theshatteredrose]

Nugatory: The Secret War (Chapter 25) - Disgaea 5 Fanfiction

AN: Hope you enjoy reading~

Ao3 | Wattpad | Inkitt | FFNet

-

Chapter 25:

It was always unsettling to see Samuel lying in a hospital bed. But this time, it was far more heartbreaking. He laid on his left side, thick white bandages wrapped around his chest and back, light pink splotches seen over his right shoulder blade. He was unconscious, apparently sleeping, though Killia hazard a guess it wasn’t a peaceful slumber.

Christo was the one who attended to his injuries, quite protective of Samuel, only allowing a couple of the hospital’s healers to assist simply by handing medicine and bandages. Though, it should not be a surprise; he had quite the extensive knowledge on how to deal with injuries regarding wings.

With Samuel safe and sound nestled in bed and in the Pocket Netherworld, Killia took some time to explained to everyone what had happened to the best of his knowledge. He left out some of the graphic details, especially in regards to what Samuel did with Hellekin, despite his actions being completely justified.

What disturbed Killia the most was how…delighted Hellekin was. That man was truly deranged. To think that Samuel was trapped under his control for who knows how many years.

Hellekin was lucky that he was dead…

After Killia finished explaining everything, his companions fell into a contemplative silence.

“No wonder Samuel reacted the way he did,” Zeroken said. “Anyone in his position would have.”

Usalia nodded. “If that happened to me, my parents probably would have, plip.”

Red Magnus folded his arms across his chest and frowned. “This was done on purpose? Why?”

“From what I understand, Halflings have this unique ability, if you destroy the angel half, you will empower the demon half, creating a truly demonic entity.”

Samuel’s power had increased tremendously. But it was not wanton violence. He destroyed the Snap Draingons, defeated Hellekin, and…punished himself. No sadistic joy in any of his actions.

No. Hellekin was far more deranged and demonic than Samuel was.

Christo looked both disturbed and intrigued. “Does that mean, if we remove the demon side of a Halfling, they’ll ascend higher than that of an angel?”

“I have no idea,” Killia confessed. “I don’t even know if anything in Hellekin’s deranged ramblings can be taken as truth.”

Although, he appeared to be the type to take sadistic delight in revealing the painful, horrible truth.

“One thing I do know is that Samuel is not like us. His heart has always been pure and kind. But now, his heart been broken.” Killia looked over at the bed and a feeling of helplessness washed over him. “And I don’t know what to do to help him.”

Which was all the more unfair as Samuel had helped him in so many ways.

“Do you think it’s true?” Zeroken asked him softly. “That there’s no Halflings left in Nugatory?”

Killia shook his head. “I don’t want to believe that.” For Samuel’s sake.

“Yeah…”

Killia turned toward Christo. “How is he?”

Christo sighed as his gaze flickered toward Samuel, his eyes softening. “Well, he has done some serious damage to his back when he ripped out his wings, but there should not be any lasting effects. He…won’t be battling for a while. Which is sure to make him feel worse.”

Samuel liked to be busy. To be useful. Sitting on the sidelines was not something he was used to. Or wanted to do.

But he needed time to heal.

“The best thing we can do is let him rest,” Christo added.

“I’ll wait for him to wake up, plip,” Usalia announced. She toddled over to his bedside, crouched down and with her hand, stroked down his hair gently, trying to comfort him in her own way.

Killia was unlikely to wander very far from the hospital, either.

… … … … …

Killia had no idea how long he had been in the hospital, sitting by Samuel’s bedside. In truth, it did not matter. He had with him a couple of books, but he barely registered any of the words. His eyes kept trailing from the pages to glance over at Samuel.

He barely stirred since they had brought him back to the Pocket Netherworld, even when Christo took care of his injuries. He hoped it was a positive sign, meaning that he was not being disturbed in his dreams.

A movement from the corner of his eyes pulled Killia from his book altogether.

Zeroken entered and walked toward the foot of the bed, where Usalia sat, also waiting patiently for Samuel to awaken. “Is he still sleeping?”

Usalia nodded. “Yes, plip.”

“I just spoke to the weapon shop,” Zeroken revealed. “I asked them to make a couple of Samuel’s vests for him. He feels better when he has his back covered.”

Killia set his book aside. “He’ll appreciate that.”

His old one could not be salvaged; torn and covered entirely in blood. In his blood. It was just…thrown out. No one bared to look at it.

A soft groan from the bed made everyone jump and immediately turn their attention and full focus toward the bed. Killia pushed himself to his feet and watch, trying to be patient, as Samuel slowly stirred in his bed. He uttered another soft groan as he pressed his face into the pillow, appearing as though he wanted nothing more than to curl into himself and go back to sleep.

Yet, his eyelids fluttered and soon, his eyes opened.

And a pair of bright blue eyes were revealed.

Killia hadn’t realised how much of a brilliant blue Samuel’s eyes truly were. Even tired and half-lidded, they were quite striking.

“Ah, you’re awake!” Usalia said cheerfully.

“How are you feeling?” Zeroken asked.

Killia was about to chide the two about giving Samuel some space to recover from awakening. The words died on his lips when Samuel suddenly threw his arms around the necks of the two, dragging the two toward him and hugging them tightly.

“You two aren’t allowed to die before me…” he murmured with his face buried into their shoulders.

Both Zeroken and Usalia froze under the suddenly embrace. However, Usalia recovered first and quickly slipped her arms around Samuel in return, hugging him back tightly. And Killia mildly wondered if, in Usalia’s mind, she was picturing herself hugging her parents like she so desperately wanted to. For his part, Zeroken was a bit more hesitant, seemingly afraid to return the embrace as he might cause Samuel more harm.

Killia stood back silently, waiting patiently for the moment to play out. Until all those involved found the comfort they needed and deserved.

Some time had passed before Samuel slowly pulled his arms away from the two, his hand lingering on the back of Usalia’s head for a moment so that he could press his forehead against hers for a precious moment, the two exchanging a quiet word or two.

Just like a parent speaking to their child.

Killia felt it was time to make his presence known. “How are you feeling?”

Samuel looked up at him, his face pale and drawn, his eyes unfairly tired and miserable. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused,” he said instead of answering Killia’s question.

He remembered everything that happened, didn’t he?

Killia turned to Usalia and Zeroken. “Could you two head into the kitchen and get things ready for me? I’m sure Samuel would like something to eat later.”

Zeroken nodded his head, quickly grasping onto the situation. “Alright. Let’s go, Usalia.”

“Ok, plip.”

Killia stood still and watched until the two were out of sight and out of hearing range before he turned his attention back to Samuel. He took a moment to inwardly prepare himself, hoping that he could help Samuel with the same amount of wisdom and understanding that he had toward him in the past.

Thinking back on it, he made it look so effortless.

Samuel sat back in his bed and clutched his right shoulder, his chin dropping toward his chest. “You…saw all that, didn’t you?” he asked quietly.

Killia moved to sit on the bed, facing him. “Yeah. That’s why I can confidently say you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But…” Samuel shook his head, his white hair falling over his eyes. “Everything was because of me.”

“No, everything was because of Hellekin.” He paused as a feeling of déjà vu washed over him. A half smile switched onto his lips, and he reached out to slip a finger under Samuel’s chin, guiding his head up to look at him. “Remember what you said to me on Flowerful?”

Samuel appeared puzzled for a moment, only for realisation to flicker across his features and he tried to give him a small smile. “Yeah. I guess that also applies here, doesn’t it?”

His smile faded completely shortly after and he reached up with his hand to tug at Killia’s wrist, to pull his hand away from his chin. However, he kept a hold of his hand, finding some comfort in his touch. “I…I don’t understand what happened,” he said, looking at him, lost and confused. “I’ve never felt anything like it before. Everything…just hurt so much.”

Killia pressed his lips together, debating whether or not to tell Samuel what Hellekin had rambled to him. But decided to be honest with him, as he had been from the very beginning.

“Samuel, listen. I don’t know if this is true, but Hellekin said something. He said that Halflings have this unique ability. That if they have their heart broken, if they have their angelic side overtaken by the demon side, they are able to transform into something truly demonic.”

“What?” Samuel uttered as horror filtered across his face. “Did I-? Was that-? Do I need to keep control of my demonic side?”

“No.” Killia cupped the side of Samuel’s face to stop him from panicking. “As Christo said before; that wasn’t your demonic side, that was the manifestation of the pain and suffering you’ve endured your entire life. We need to find a way for you to accept your broken heart and learn to mourn.”

Samuel stared at him with his big blue eyes silently before, slowly, releasing a breath and relaxing. “Thinking about myself, huh? That may be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.”

Killia nodded. “You’re not very good with being honest with yourself.”

Samuel pouted, a tiny bit of colour returning to his cheeks. “That’s not fair; neither are you.”

“That’s fair. I guess we’re more honest with each other than we are to ourselves.”

A soft smile graced Samuel’s lips and he looked away, leaning his cheek into Killia’s palm. He even found comfort in his hand, which was a…strange feeling. For year, so many years, Killia’s hands, his fists had caused so much harm and devastation, and yet now, his hand brought Samuel comfort.

“I…” Samuel sighed and rested his hand against Killia’s. “I really am sorry for everything. If I had stayed in Nugatory, then this mess with the Seedlings may never have happened.”

Killia shook his head. “If you had stayed in Nugatory, and Hellekin had still unleashed these Seedlings throughout the Netherverse, we would not have known what to do. We’d have no idea what was actually going on. We, ourselves, may actually be victims. And…if you had stayed in Nugatory, then I may not be the man I am today.”

Samuel’s eyes widen ever so slightly, and his lips parted in soft surprise. “You think so?” he asked, not in disbelief, but hopeful.

So, Killia nodded his head. “I know so.”

A hopeful spark of life returned to Samuel’s eyes and he smiled gently. “…I’m glad to have met you, Killia,” he said as he unexpectedly pushed forward, wrapping his arms around Killia’s neck. “You really are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Though stunned by Samuel’s own words, Killia instinctively wrapped his arms around him in return.

…Hah. To go from a Tyrant Overlord to being a genuine comfort to someone.

“Yeah…”

… … … … …

Samuel sat with his back against the headboard of his hospital bed, a thick blanket draped around his shoulders and covering his back. The bed had been moved, positioned so that he could gaze out into the vast Netherverse outside the thick, dense panelled windows.

He had been frequently visited by the others. Except Seraphina, which was not a surprise. And honestly, it was for the best. It would be awkward and forced at best. They were not on the best of terms, and after what he had been through, a forced connection between the two would not help. Either of them.

The reasons for the frequent visits were numerous; to keep him company, to check on his health, to keep his mind busy and from wandering. But mostly, just to ensure that he was all right.

He…had scared them. Quite a bit, it seemed.

Samuel was honestly glad for the visits. He did not like his mind wandering too far. Did not like remembering what…happened. It hurt too much to remember.

But some memories would not be kept at bay, no matter how much he tried to force them back.

Ronny…

Why? Why did he have to die like that? Why did he listen to Hellekin? He was their warden. Their captor. Their abuser. What had happened in the time he had been away? How did he leave?

Just…there were so many questions. And they hurt to think about.

“Ah, Samuel. Good, you’re awake. Let me have a look at that back of yours.”

Samuel forcibly shoved his thoughts aside and dutifully gave Christo a patient smile as he shuffled away from the backboard. He leaned forward, allowing for Christo to remove the thick bandages and wadding to look at the wounds on the right side of his upper back.

He never liked exposing his back, with the numerous scars and old injuries. And the fact that he had three more, self-inflicted ones at that, made him all the more self-conscious.

Christo did not make any comments on the many scars, however, and Samuel was grateful for that consideration.

Pulling his legs to his chest and resting his arms on his knees in an attempt to get comfortable, Samuel turned his head toward Christo. “Christo, can I ask a favour of you?”

Christo looked at him and arched an eyebrow. “This is rare. What is it?”

“Can you teach me how to heal?”

That earned him a positively puzzled look from Christo. “But you know how to heal already. You kept Usalia alive, didn’t you?”

“Only just. You were the one who saved her life.”

And since he was half angel, he figured that he might be able to learn a bit of angel magic. Of course, he was not able to actually make that request aloud, so he hoped Christo would catch on.

Of course, there was another reason he wanted to learn more healing.

“I always thought that there was no way to save the lives of the victims of Seedlings once they began to sprout. But…what if that wasn’t true?”

He tried…he tried so hard…

“Samuel…” Christo sighed. “I don’t think I can help with that.”

Samuel felt a twinge in his chest. “You…looked?”

Christo cast a healing spell on his back. “It was as you said; once the Seedling took hold of the victim’s core, there was nothing that could be done.”

“I see…So, there really was no way to save Ronny.”

He did not want to hear that, and yet, he did. That meant all the lives he had seen lost before his eyes could not have been saved, no matter what he could have done. Regardless of what spell or magic he knew.

No one could have saved them; demon, halfling, or angel.

It was…depressing, honestly.

“I still want to learn more about healing from you, though,” Samuel insisted. “We need to take care of our little demon family.”

Christo gave him a small smile. “We’ll see if we have the time. Now, sit up. I need to redress your bandages.”

Samuel dutifully did as he was told. As he sat there, allowing for Christo to carefully reset his dressings, a particular thought occurred to him. When Killia learnt that Samuel was a Halfling, he was surprised and shocked. He had never heard of such a thing. And within the history that Samuel had learnt of the Netherverse, it was never mentioned anywhere of Halflings.

But he knew nothing of the history of Celestia.

“Does it…bother you?” Samuel asked slowly. “That I am a Halfling? You know, half demon, half angel?”

Christo momentarily paused in his healing. “Hm? Have I given the indicating that it does?”

Samuel shook his head. “No. I just wanted to ask. Since my existence is blasphemous and all.”

It should especially be against the laws of angels, after all.

“Why should it bother me?” Christo asked.

Samuel smiled. Ok, still maintaining his demon ruse, then. “I just wanted to ask.”

Christo returning to redressing the bandages, working silently. He quickly tied them off and patted Samuel on the back, indicating that he was free to move about (under strict conditions, of course) once more.

He stepped back, allowing Samuel room to grab a light blanket to drape around his shoulders and back, giving him coverage and security.

“Can I ask you something?” Christo suddenly asked him.

“Hm?”

A frown tugged at Christo’s lips. “You said that Halflings are taken to Nugatory as punishment. Who or what is taking them there?”

That was a very good question.

“I’m afraid I don’t know,” Samuel replied, regretful. “I was just a child when I ended up there. My earliest memory was when my…” he trailed off, his back twitching with pain.

“Your?” Christo prodded.

Samuel could not prevent a grimace. “When my wings were ripped from my back.”

Christo’s eyes widen, his mouth dropping open in surprise. Unexpectedly, a flash of anger appeared on his face for a moment before it was quickly smothered into an expression of empathy.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I will admit that I never knew of the existence of Halflings. I had never encountered them during all my research in Cel-Certain Giant. But now that I do, I would like to investigate it further. Especially the less-than-ideal treatment…”

Christo gave him a tight smile as he quickly prattled off a few standard ‘no training’ and ‘no heavy lifting’ spiels along with a few words of advice about taking better care of himself, and such. He then turned on his heel and quickly walked away.

And as Christo walked away, Samuel noted that he had reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He had no idea who Christo was going to call, perhaps that ‘superior’ had often complained about.

Maybe, just maybe, if he tried a little harder, if he could talk a little louder about his experiences, then maybe future Halflings won’t have to endure the pain and suffering that he had to endure.

[oftincturedwords]

No Quiet Find sounds super cool!

I'm picturing the crew to stumbled upon a nest of sirens and Bush ends up with a siren baby by accident. But I also can see Bush with a water dragon baby to take care of

I bet the actual story is even better!

Ask Me About My WIPs !

thank you !! & agdkflgl aaah i love that idea so much , the very thought of bush becoming a guardian to a siren baby or water dragon baby is too adorable

especially since i can envision it being entirely by accident & reluctantly so , like the babe is only calm & happy when around or with bush thus bush is given charge of them. bush silently frets but does become endeared to them , it's unavoidable agdkflg xD

alas sadly my wip isn't about that :( although i very much love that idea , mine is rather less lighthearted , at least in the beginning that is. it more so along the vein of angst / hurt / comfort :||| bUT if you must know a spoiler , a tiny one that is ;P it does get better , for all characters involved , i cannot write angst without the happy ending. it just doesn't for my muse , it's too sad ahdkfgl

now for the actual idea instead of my cryptic ramblings agdkflg ; it's set during hornblower and the hotspur , more specifically during the end of chapter sixteen. it could be said to be set during the series' three episode two : duty , but it would be even more so an au than it already is but eh the series played with the timelines so why shouldn't i ? ahdkflflg xD however it does follow more so book canon than the series , i do have matthews & styles in it because i do love what the series did with those characters , their development & the dynamics they have with horatio & bush , & with each other. it's personable & fun !

.... again i tangent away from the aCTUAL idea ahdkflg sorry , i think i am nervous ?? about sharing this because i don't know if it's even a good idea & i worry over getting the details right , but aaaah sorry i will get on with it agdjfkf i am just being anxious & weird about it & i don't mean to be , so here goes the idea : horatio reacts harshly to something bush says , although horatio does regret how he reacted & the words said , duty gets in the way of him making any attempts at amends because , i as the writer , has a storm begin to come in soon thereafter & thus duty to the ship outweighs any personal matters

except fate is never kind to those who leave things for fixing later because bush goes overboard during the storm :||| & that's all i will say on it agskdlflg no jk , you know i would never do harm to bush ... or much harm that is xD just a little tiny bit of harm to him & lots of angst for horatio agdkflf at least in this there's more than his fair share :|| but as you know it all is better in the end ^^ i cannot have angst without the happy ending , i just cannot write it , it's an impossible feat for me agdkflf

anyway , enough of my ramblings , here's an excerpt :

'... It was hours later, when the sea had ran dry of its tumultuous ire, when the waves had ceased their violent churning and the relentless sheets of rain had tapered off to a mere drizzle of drops and unsettled seaspray, that Hornblower found himself in his cabin without recalling his descent from the deck above. Dressed still in his sea drenched uniform, his hat hung limply between his fingers from where his hands rested between his knees. Shoulders drooped and back slumped to the point of strain against the tight, military fashioning of his still buttoned navy coat. Yet heedless was he of it.

Soaked to the bone as he was, his brown curls lay plastered to his head to run rivulets of water down his face and neck. It too dripped off the ends of his cloak, tracing wet lines along the curves of his hands down to the points on his bicorne hat in intermittent plips to create small puddles beneath him. Their size marked the time elapsed since he’d come to his cabin to sit before the table, unmoved and unable to draw his gaze from where it had remained riveted upon the polished wood of the deck. Even a precursory knock at his door nor click of the door latch ere Doughty entered didn’t rouse an acknowledgement from Hornblower.

“Some hot tea, sir.” Came Doughty’s diffident voice, the muted clatter of a tray being set down and a pouring of liquid followed.

A clink of dishware, a spoon being indelicately stirred in a cup to be more precise upon the nature of the sound, came next. It indicated that Doughty had taken the liberty to add sugar to steaming cup… that, or rum, but the part of Honrblower’s brain recognising all this, knew his steward would never presume so much. Especially with the Captain’s misliking of the mind numbing effects of alcohol.

The sound itself had been odd, known was Doughty’s proclivities for decorum and pedantic nature that hearing such a noticeable clink of spoon on teacup had to be his steward’s way of trying to draw his Captain’s attention. Subtle yet distinct enough for Doughty to know it’d work.

For Hornblower had raised his head then, his features equally as sodden as his uniform yet less expressive in the turmoil that’d transpired hardly two hours prior. Rumpled and doused they were, from standing so long on a storm raged deck, whereas his face, albeit pale, held fast to the rigid mask he had set.

He was not to know his brown gaze now held, granted unconscious leave by the privacy of his quarters and with it being only his steward present, a hollowness that usually took root in those bereft. The natural melancholy cast to his countenance was held in a stark highlight by the low, flickering candlelight and the thinly veiled sorrow reflected in those brown eyes of his.

“Won’t you have some, sir?” Doughty set the teacup and saucer off the tray onto the desk in front of Hornblower, taking another liberty it seemed, but not so near enough to appear officious.

“Thank you, Doughty.” It was with a mechanical stiffness that Hornblower accepted the proffering, straightening his posture and reaching out with a pale hand to grasp the delicate teacup to drink from it.

Merely the action and appearance of wellness that was so precariously crafted and adhered to, especially under any scrutiny, and he could feel his steward’s gaze watching him, even as Doughty attempted to busy himself with collecting the tray and its contents to rightness. It wasn’t a task that could occupy him long, too soon it seemed for the obsequious steward, who straightened when finished... '

:) such happiness right ?? xD agdkflflg & there's a bit more to it , that's the main gist.

thank you for sending this in asking after this wip of mine ! <33 i loved being able to talk of this wip , i adore it so & truly need to work on finishing it. i have only to fill the gaps between a few scenes & then edit it & it'll be finished. just trying to get my muse to write those bits has been a hassle.

[certified-ultimate-simp]

Tumblr needs to not be mean, please. Anywho, take number three of Writing a private request from my dear little sister @cometarts-studio Cuddle Prompts, Number 10: Listening to the Rain with Rei Sakuma. I hope you enjoy it, lovey~ 

plip

plop

plip

plop

 The light sounds of raindrops hitting the pavement gave a signal of the upcoming downpour and a warning to everyone out and about to get to wherever they were going. The light sprinkle gave way to a heavy downpour not long after and the distant sounds of thunder and possible lightening came with it. To some, storms like this are an inconvenience. They limit activities, hinder your vision, get you sick if you're out in them too long, and make it harder for children to fall asleep during the night. However to others, like Lucee, these storms bring about a comforting aura. These kinds of storms help them relax, help them sleep better, and even help them focus in some cases.

On a night like this, Lucee was snuggled in a large fluffy blanket on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book in hand, listening to the pouring rain outside. She was one of those who loved the rain, no matter when it happened. So caught up in her book and her mug half-empty, Lucee failed to notice the soft footsteps approaching her until it was too late. Lips curled into a smirk whispered in her ear as large hands gently set themselves on her shoulders, "Oya~? Reading and listening to the rain again, little fairy~?" Lucee just about jumped out of her skin with a yelp, turning her head only to have her lips captured in a soft kiss. One she gladly returned as she calmed from the small jumpscare.

Once the kiss was over, Lucee smiled as she locked eyes with her lover, Rei Sakuma. She giggled and shifted her position, putting her drink down and gesturing for him to come cuddle with her under the blanket. Rei chuckled and moved around the couch, laying next to her and placing some of his weight on top of her with his head on her chest and arms around her waist. Lucee smiled lovingly at him, feeling her cheeks warm up as she moved the blanket over him and ran her fingers through his hair, feeling him hum and relax. 

"Hello to you too, my moonlight. One, I thought I told you not to scare me like that and two, to answer your question yes, yes I am. You know how I get when it rains, my love, I can't help it," She told him. Rei hummed, his arms tightening around her waist a bit. 

"I don't blame you, jou-chan~ The rain is definitely calming. Almost makes me want to fall asleep right here and now since I couldn't fall asleep earlier~" Rei answered, leaning into your touch and releasing a small yawn. Lucee giggled and leaned down, kissing his forehead. 

"Well I'm certainly not going to stop you, I'm close to falling asleep myself. Do you want me to read to you to help you sleep? The book I'm reading is really good and it's part of a series! It's called The Green Ember, and it's about bunnies and wolves and it's cute but also kind of sad because the bunnies are in a war with the wolves." Lucee continued to run her fingers through Rei's hair as she rambled slightly about the book and Rei just smiled softly. 

He loved when you would ramble to him about literally anything and he would gladly listen with rapt attention and interest and a loving smile. "I wouldn't mind you reading to me, jou-chan~ If anything it should help this old man sleep although you could do that just by doing this~" He told her, tilting his head slightly and opening his eyes to stare into yours, his eyes showing how tired he really was as he bit back a loud yawn. Lucee yawned shortly after and she giggled, marking her page and putting the book down. 

The time was nearing 1 am by that point so Lucee figured it was about time for bed anyway. "Maybe in the morning, my moonlight~ It's about time for bed anyway, and you certainly deserve the rest since you've been so busy with your idol work these past few days," She answered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips that was gladly returned before it ended. Lucee wrapped her other arm around his shoulders and rubbed circles in them while she continued gently combing through his hair with her fingers, softly humming the tune to When Somebody Loved Me. 

Rei tried to stay awake, he really did, but combined with your angel-like voice, your fingers in his hair and rubbing his shoulders as well as his tiredness from earlier, he was out like a light in a minute. Soft snores escaped him and a small smile formed on his face while he fell into dreamland. Lucee quietly laughed and then yawned, making herself comfortable while the sound of the rain outside slowly lulled her to follow her beloved into sleep. It didn't take her long to close her eyes and dream away. 

All done~ I hope you liked this, little sister dear, it took me a while~ I won't be surprised if you reread this a million times tbh. I also hope I did Rei well enough, we shall see~ Don't be afraid to request again, honey, my inbox is always open and my anonymous is on now as well since I apparently didn't turn it on before lmao. 

[violet-amet]

plip-plop fictional characters and my hyperfixation.

i love everyone in the srhk crew, tho i cant connect with is0bel too well, given how emotionally distant she was, but thats fine, given why she was. i do love gobbet for subverting my expectations from being a no nonsense, “tsundere” poster girl that i thought she was, given that western games dont do female characters justice, and i thought she and duncan would be a thing, because i thought id be playing duncan.

but nope, gobbet was just a rat girl, filled with snark and a bottomless pit of a stomach. at first i thought she was gonna be a l/i, but this game subverted that, despite how much i read into racter’s dialogue, and him “flirting” with the protag, with is p hilarious.

idk, i guess i just had low expectations. i did not know anything about the shadowrun universe until i finished srhk and dug more into it, and how good the female characters are, since they are more than just the girls of the group. its not even them, but the npcs too.

i feel that its a good game, because i had fun reading the dialogue, exploring and understanding the characters, and being a criminal for the sake of finding out a mystery. i mean, id rather avoid violence irl, but the sibs need answers, and i needed them too, so i was determined to finish it. when i did, i came out content, but i wanted more of these guys.

esp racter, because i feel like i barely know much about him, aside from being a workaholic socio/psychopath, and having a good boy, koschei. well, it was because of racter that i decided to take a dive into ao3 and read fics, and boy, i loved them fics. not enough saucy ones, but eh, i assume the fandom is small, so i cant complain. [but i do appreciate some racter art yknow~. *winkwonk*]

and after reading these fics, i decided to finally write one of my own stuff. i originally wanted it to be a oneoff, because i was nervous and scared of doing it justice, plus, of the whole mary sue craze i witnessed while i was young. while cap may just be that, i still have fun writing her, but i know that people may not. thats fine.

its just, it took one comment that helped bring me to where i am today. i met plenty of neat, kind, and cool creative people, and got to share stuff with not just them, but so many others. i even got to show it to a very good friend of mine that still handles my shenans. [looking at u shadow.]

anyway, i wish i could thank everyone who has been patient and kind with me over the past couple of years. i hope to make even more stories for peeps to enjoy~. thank u dudes, and take care of urselves, mk?

i also think gaichu and duncan are great. there is so much i want to say about them, but i think im rambling enough as it is. im just happy to have met people thru this lil game. haha~!

[ayakashiramblings]

Why He Doesn’t Sign

???’s POV

The clouds are always the hardest.

You’d think it was just dabbing some spots amongst the blues but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

At least, for Aoi.

Maybe only he bothered. I kinda remember him breaking it all down for me one time.

And only that time after he had started and ended it all.

Cumulonimbus clouds with their ‘towering heights portend thunderstorms’. He’d prepare for a dash of grey then. Mixing black and white, some ‘memories could be stirred’. Didja know in the olden days, no matter how young I try to pretend I am for you shining ladies, I heard it being called the ‘white noise surrounding everyone’? I’ve also heard both a great reception… and a not-so-pleased reaction each time.

Is that how he focuses? How he knows somewhere there is a memory of home and crackling fires to retreat to? Or that someone thinks of only drowning in the plip and plop, slosh and slop? The kid seems to know who will choose what to always see in the grey skies.

Something tells me though… he has only one thing in his heart to turn to during these moments.

I wished he’d at least talk about it. It’s making me sound like I’m giving Old Man Rain a bad rep. I do need a smoking buddy and I’m a bit iffy about this spider lady. To be fair though, it's really these five-minute breaks that are killing me.

Because I still watch him.

Sure, it’s behind the crates that help me be hidden for some time. But the glass he wipes so hard at every day shows one thing.

He isn’t a kid anymore.

When he was once, it was a monsoon season in the Capital. That was the last time he was a child according to him.

Then, I could have taken him in and let him view the world through these windows.

Now? Now I have to let him get a bigger world, so expansive and complex, and some things that even 100 eyes can never see coming and only a Seer could.

Aoi would never share your heart’s thoughts, ‘course. All of it was always contained in the paint. And even given balance. There was always some sorta opposite. Cirrus clouds specifically. The kind you’d beg for if you wanted the perfect weather. Looking a lot like astilbes with no colour, honestly.

I’d say the meaning but it’s his own to find at this point.

Right now, all I can tell you is that sunny days always brings out the good side in him. No wonder why he easily switches the swatches. Perfect time for hanging up the laundry, letting the paint dry and all the work he insists on doing.

Including accepting this particular commission.

How he did it, I still wonder. I mean, I know WHY but it’s different when you were the one just trying to look out for him. It was a bit hard to do so when the soon-to-be groom was close.

As in both as a friend and because it just had to happen in the cafe. Where it wasn’t just his loved ones around, but also hers.

And of all times, he was on his best behaviour as he faced his comrade with a wry and teasing grin,

“Hmph, I guess I could but I’m going to do it for free. A sort of present.”

Then he had to turn to the easel again. He was making sure there would be cirrus clouds for them.

Yet he was crying up a storm. He is always muffling the sound in his room, removing any crumpled-up artwork he had always wanted to show only to one girl.

He really forgot I was there still.

Not that I could really just step in and say, “You’re better off without her,” because I know it doesn’t feel that way right now. And that she was his light.

I can’t say, “I told you so.” Because everyone knows I’ve ignored my share of advice since the dawn of this era. And that she was the light. 

It was a bit weird being so glad that after a few days, I finally heard his voice etched with his usual loving self,

“What. The. Hell! I know you’re out there! I’m up to my EYEBALLS, the least you can do is tell me you have the wedding banquet!”

Finally, I can pretend that I hadn’t been there for eight ‘five-minute’ breaks with the groceries while he was finishing the touch-ups and storing the paint away.

But I had to wince at the masterpiece.

Beautiful land, nice figures, what could have been a pretty but vague picture. I knew it was their river. He would tell you it’s just hers that he happens to visit, particularly during this kind of time. And it would have been completely their sunniest moment if it weren’t for the top portion.

The cirrus clouds were winning the battle against the cumulonimbus. The most radiant ally was there, the leader of her force and making everyone forget who was the one who had put the sun in the first place.

“Now, write to them. I better quickly use the, oh thank god, you finally remembered the turnips.”

He wanted to forget. What choice did I have?

So I wrote on his behalf. Something tells me you’d be disappointed if you weren’t so blown away by something else of his.

Rain’s the signature. Goes well with the bright stuff.

If you couldn’t tell, the POV was meant to be Oji’s. Because honestly, I think the saddest thing isn’t getting heartbroken, it’s seeing your loved one heartbroken.

Then again, I’m not a parent and this was my first attempt at an angst piece. 

If it’s too much like a ramble or just really bad, don’t be afraid to hit me. In the ask box. Not in my face. Please not in my face, I need to go to school in one piece. 

[bakvhatsv]

@steelhardpecs

It’s become a little less awkward between them, finding a certain comfort in each other’s company. But there’s more to it than that and he struggles to place words to these distinct impressions that Bakugo brings forth in his mind.

He laughs softly as his brain suddenly picks out a word in particular, attempting to voice his thoughts in response to the questioning and vaguely suspicious look sent his way.

“In your own decidedly iconoclastic way, you’re like this… impetus. Like some blazing comet streaking through the atmosphere, crashing into earth and ripping up all the trees- leaving this resounding shockwave rippling across the world. You don’t even think about it, you don’t plan anything- You simply ARE, like it’s your nature to just completely shatter all boundaries and limitations. And unlike others, you’re not gonna reach this… apex and then quietly fizzle out- You’ll keep going, keep reaching even greater heights far beyond the narrow scope of reality that we box ourselves into.”

He paused, lowering his hand from the vague motions that had accompanied his longwinded and rambling insights. Tilting his head back, a smile pulled fiercely at the corners of his lips.

“You’ll shine brighter and burn even hotter than all the rest, even when you’re too far ahead for the rest of us to keep track of.”

Bakugo hadn’t been expecting a monologue, tapping his pen once or twice against the notebook in his lap when the other student started explaining himself. All movement stopped when he realized that Tetsutetsu was talking about him. 

His body language started to relax, leaning back in the desk chair, book nearly falling to the floor. The only part of him still tense was a hand gripped tight around his pen, almost hard enough to break it and spill the ink, and his thumb threatened against the tip to do just that. 

It was like Tetsutetsu saw straight into him, picked apart things Bakugo didn’t even realize about himself. Aiming for the top was just his way of doing, but put like this, it seemed like he was so much more. Like his actions, his drive, didn’t affect just him. An outside perspective like this made him feel... some kind of way. It started in his chest, and moved up into his throat, feeling tight and uncomfortable. 

And the bright as hell smile did him in. 

Katsuki hadn’t noticed the tear when it rolled down his cheek until he heard the plip and felt it on his hand. That’s what had him jumping out of a trace, vision darting between Tetsutetsu and the physical manifestation of whatever emotion he was feeling. 

[pwippy]

well that aged well

[pwippy]

i think i already posted this but. just to really hammer it in

[pwippy]

ive noticed people are talking about the opening frames from round 6 but. IVANS THERE HOW ARE WE IGNORING THAT??? he's having something injected next to till im pretty sure

not to mention the needles and teeth scene. both were probably attempts at cosmetic alteration, 1 for ivans eyes and 1 for his tooth. you can see that his younger self doesn't have the tooth- he has the red pupils, so these couldve been modified in some other capacity (supervision??)

my main theory is that anakt/anact has a built in facility for alterations or experimentation and that till and ivan were experimented on at the same time frame. this explains how ivan found till in a very medical looking area.

[pwippy]

haha what a cute doodle surely nothing bad can come from-

fuck.

[pwippy]

sua's such an under analyzed character but her mentality and presentation is really interesting!! to others (besides mizi), she appears reserved (very demure. very mindful) / cold but she's genuinely going through constant inner turmoil.

growing up, she was literally used as a commodity by her guardian. she's bullied by her sisters for being the guardian nigeh's favorite, but it's really only because she makes the most money. even after death, her guardian doesn't care that sua's gone, they're more concerned with the popularity and revenue that her fandom brings.

to the segyein, sua's essentially a doll and an ideal pet human. she's a top student at anakt, aka she sticks to a routine and acts easily brainwashed. when asked about her study habits, she just says "it's not really that hard... you just have to memorize what they teach you."

her objectification by others strips her of her identity and livelihood. it definitely plagues her perception of self worth/value, and manifests in her behavior (being quiet/not taking up much space, jealousy, apologizing often, being defensive - more on that later)

^ i think this whisper sums up her situation pretty well. her circumstances and the way she presents herself affects her relationships in anakt a ton if that makes sense ?

when sua meets mizi, such a vibrant, lively, and loving person, her focus and dare i say will to live completely shifts to mizi. in mizi's eyes, sua is seen as mizi's soulmate, someone she'll be with forever. someone who's always there for her. synergyyyy

although sua's feelings are mutual, she carries a level of self doubt and anxiety with her. sua believed her love for mizi would harm her in the end. she's stated before (EXPLICITLY) that she would die for mizi, and she does end up doing this in the form of sacrifice in round 1.

it's almost as if sua feels guilty for loving mizi. she knows they're doomed, and with their limited time, why should she be focused on? is it selfish of her to not tell mizi of their inevitable fate to live in their dream a little longer?

^ the lyrics of sweet dream can also serve as her mentality and point of view leading up to alien stage. she knows the idyllic world she's in is temporary, knowing her end is imminent yet praying to be saved.

although mizi views sua in a tinted lens, the other characters do not. at least, not in the affectionate sense. to till, sua's demeanor is offputting and uncomfortable

to ivan, he sees straight through to suas actions and (maybe unintentionally but i doubt it) exacerbates her doubts. he has his own events going on and genuinely does seem to want to be close to sua (graduation message + human relationship rating) but interacts in a way that makes her feel threatened. (in addition "he keeps crossing the line" in the relationship chart)

to the outside viewer its interesting to note sua often pulls mizi away from people. she pulls mizi away from ivan, and pulls mizi's attention from till to her in a short act of jealousy.

[pwippy]

oh baby a triple

[pwippy]

having a swell time