#so im like doing nothing instead
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hmm
#wow had a phone call wkth my ex#we yapped for like 4 hours#geniune insanity#i ended the call cuz i have to go to sleep#like i stayed up a bjt and havent been talking tk thebguy im crushing on at like all#hoooooo boy i am so so so not over my ex and i am stringing this guy along#but i feel so flip floppy! am i going to feel different tomorrow???#i feel like i csnt act cuz whatever i do will be the wrong move#so im like doing nothing instead#i think im too high for thjd and i csn approach this subject matter tomorrow#cuz rn im just scared and sad#the tag i love him keeps poppingup#taunting me#go away#oh to be distracted
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what
#theresbeen some hiccups like the first month i started to realize my work drive was 90% fear based#so ivehad to develop like actual work schedule and discipline thats not just 'everyone will hate me if i dont'#but its been working! now getting stuff done actually... feels.... good?#instead of like throwing water over one fire only to run to the next one#like before nothing was ever satisfying. i was always just running around panicked#now im like. okay this is what i have to get done today. yay! i finished it! now i go to bed. okay now its the next day#the only other thing ive noticed is ive become seemingly like. more. autistic acting.#like i get More fixated on my special interests now. i can think about something for hours straight instead of getting guilty and thinking#'oh im being greedy im being lazy with my time i should be doing something productive'
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youre never gonna believe this. but i really liked the musical with the miserable middle aged man
#turtlearts#sweeney todd#sweeney todd revival#josh groban#aaron tveit#annaleigh ashford#brother u have no idea how much i was struggling to draw them. so so so hard#also these are quite old. like a couple months old#i was planning on coloring these but frankly i dont have the energy or the strength to do it oops#anyways u have no idea how many times ive watched bootlegs of this show its kinda nuts#for like 2 months straight i was watching nothing but sweeney todd all day and all night. like i was sleeping at 6 am consistently#it was kind of really bad. but IT WAS TOO GOOD IM SORRRYYYY#i memorized good chunks of the play and the songs RAAGGGHH#one good thing about this period is that i stopped watching youtube obsessively bc i was watching this stupid play obsessively instead <3
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#i love drawing him sleepy#a doodley#vampires dont need to sleep but i like to think he does it socially once he's safe with smunker al#but Also Because he's safe and housed and isnt as tense and on edge anymore...needs met and all that#and so it actually ends up becoming one of those things like when u sleep too much and feel really groggy#he doesnt actually have a tail i just love giving all my humans little tails.....................#also very very very early on he only does it socially bc al makes him settle down instead of smuckling and smumbling around all night#which i think is so funny like ur getting tucked in Neow. go to sleep.#i want to learn how to draw big enormous shirts on him in an actual realistic way#bc i keep seeing that thing abt like ''when women wear just a big shirt its hot but when men do it its creepy''#wrong. im gonna prove them wrong with my power of man worship.#talon gets cold easy but he LOVES just big shirt nothing else
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Just a call away... 🦋💙
#persona 3#persona#p3#minato arisato#makoto yuki#hamuko arisato#minako arisato#elizabeth persona 3#theodore persona#persona 3 protagonist#persona 3 fanart#persona fanart#persona 3 art#ngl i was really sitting on finishing this one💀#first it was too busy playing pikmin 4 it was my 1st experience with the franchise and i love it#but after i finished the main story of the game instead of finishing this i procrastinated by doing nothing#BUT ITS DONE! now i can finally.. do something else idk??#i also tried a different style of rendering this time especially when it came to the hair#im not sure if i like it so let me know if it fits
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;3
#ninja showdown#my immortal soul#first ninja x chase young#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#chase young#rc9gn#xiaolin showdown#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#me @ me; how many art tropes we gotta draw for those two? also me: yes ;)#listen. LISTEN. the world is kinda shit right now and im sad and so im drawing a lot of these two rn to comfort me#but instead of drawing all those great angsty soul-tearing ideas i had. do you know what my brain decided?? DO YOU???#it saw a picture of Chase with wet hair and went: you know what would be very cool idea??? ;))) and i promptly sketched almost 20 pgs#comic where absolutely nothing actually happens but 14 of the pages contain half-naked wet men!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT#somehow its not even the worst thing i drew because right after that???#my brain was like heehoo what about some love spell/pollen trope?? ;3 & i kid you not i doodled some of it and now im just sitting here#with my head in my hands wondering wtf am i doing as i stare at a doodle of love spelled first#so ye guess what im gonna be working on this month lol
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One of the probable reasons as to why Kaeya didn't arrive on time for Crepus and Diluc when they were attacked was because he, and the knights with him, had no vision, and thus, cannot use a teleport waypoint.
Him receiving his cryo vision when he was supposed to get scorched by Diluc was genuinely the biggest slap to the face given to him by Celestia. It arrived just in time to save HIM.
Even now, the vision only heals and shields him alone as a manifestation of his desire to keep living from that fight... but he can't use it to help others.
#ngl this description was a shock to see purely coz wtf were inazuma vision bearers doing lmao#unless they didnt want to leave their countrymen alone while the decree was still up#kaeya#kaeya alberich#yeah idk what else to say about it other than the fact that Kaeya's vision is the biggest middle finger from celestia#celestia: lol f this kid specifically. he did nothing wrong but his fam sure did#1 more thing but do they have to approach a teleport waypoint to use it?#im assuming they do purely coz they dont memorize where all the other waypoints are#ngl this opens up to other ideas like cyno tighnari and collei travelling instead of teleporting is coz nari hasnt been to mond#same with others taking a boat coz they havent encountered that waypoint yet#i guess that explains things for most inazuma vision bearers actually :O they havent left the nation so they cant unlock the other waypoints#wow i have a lot of thoughts here in the tags yet again. kaeyachi with the tags that can be a whole entire post instead.#right back to kaeyangst but seriously what a wicked timing. him receiving it too late to prevent everything#him also receiving it just in time to let him continue living his life full of lies...(his own words not mine)#did he start learning how to use it immediately? did he fear its usage because it meant celestia was watching him?#did he stare at it in betrayal? throw it off a cliff? hide it in his drawers?#so many thoughts hnghh
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I'm so mad and disgusted, I drew Joan being mad and disgusted so I'm not so mad and disgusted
#clone high season 2#clone high joan#the way they resolved it is so stupid why punish Abe my boy did nothing wrong for once!!#clone high#made me wish they broke up even if its just for a few episodes and then be like “okay im not mad anymore just dont do it again”#instead of brushing it under the rug IMMEDIATELY#or even better dont include cheating tropes#hate them!!!!!#you can never come back from them!! it ruins the characters!!!!!!#I will be ignoring the canon i care them too much
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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imo everyone who insists that saikis life was perfect and he was a spoiled brat complaining about nothing are just purposefully ignoring and misinterpreting the whole manga simply because they like other characters better and want to make up scenarios to make their fav seem like a precious little victim in every situation
its hard to explain but i see it happen a lot with specifically people who have dedicated accounts for other characters and constantly misattribute every issue to "saikis such a baby, my character has it way worse!" "saiki hurt my babys feelings once so i hate him!" "saikis such a spoiled brat, my baby has a way shittier life and never complains about it!" "saiki hurt my poor precious fav once so hes an abusive monster!"
and said "shittier life" that they "never complain" about is either the persons headcanons (literally made up) or... the character DOES complain about it and the person takes those words at FACE VALUE but ignores everything else, including things that actually HAPPEN right in front of our eyes
#(this is just an opinion and anyone can do whatever they want)#people can feel however they want about saiki#but im just saying... purposely making everything into something it just isnt makes you look so... odd#like.. why?#why cant you just say you dont like him and move on?#instead of trying to make up a bunch of reasons why he sucks and his fans are weird#just chill#fandom doesnt need to be like that#sorry i feel like i start a new controversy every few days#dont offhandedly bully me for this guys just reply if you disagree#i like to think that my posts will reach nobody but like two moots and nothing matters and nobody cares#but i always get proved wrong#sho shad#anyway this is exactly what twitter users do with mafuyu and kanade which is so funny to me#they make kanade out to be an evil manipulator with a perfect life so that they can have their fake abuse scenarios and make mafuyu a victi#WHICH DOESNT MAKE SENSE CUZ MAFUYUS MOM IS RIGHT THERE? MAFUYU IS ALREADY AN ABUSE VICTIM#its crazy. fandoms are crazy.#hoping literally any of this is phrased correctly#my brain is jello i cant do this#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#meownalysis#<- not sure if this counts as that but im adding it because i want to come back to this
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“We could be like Batman and Robin!”
but what if he actually took him up on that offer
bonus:
#rick and morty#rick prime#evil morty#morty smith#rick sanchez#art#partly inspired by en-bens au where rick prime adopts morty prime#but like what if it was the other guy instead#why would evil morty do this? HE WOULDNT I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY#idk maybe he wants an improved robot butler in his snowglobe#or maybe he wasnt able to extract the weapon plans so he just carries him around like a living hard drive#not that anyone cares but im done with my finals btw#totally bombed my last one but nothing a little rick and morty cant fix
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I don't see the issue in believing that your alters are multiple people or not, but saying that it's "anti recovery" to believe that they are is genuinely one of the most idiotic things i've heard. i don't see why it's a problem? i know so many systems who consider themselves multiple people, who are doing perfectly fine in healing, without needing to see themselves as just "multiple parts of one person". Alters can be so completely complex, they can be so different that you'd genuinely see them as completely different people, because they are different people to that system. This is coming from a plural who sees their parts more as just different parts of themself, by the way. Believing your alters are just multiple parts of one identity is completely fine, but claiming that it's "anti recovery" for others to believe that they're multiple people is one of the shittest things you could do. Just let people do what they want, there isn't anything wrong with that? I definitely see that systems can quite literally have what is basically multiple fully formed identities, fully formed people.
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#our system despises the “parts of one person” bullshit antis like to spew to invalidate other systems#how another system views its headmates has nothing to do with them#i wish someone would tell us we're encouraging dissociation by seeing ourselves as separated individuals#like we will go off#mind your own damn system and not everyone else's for fuck's sake#hhm i usually see those “parts of one person” people talking about how miserable being a system is#maybe if they treated their headmates like people instead of pieces of people they wouldn't be so damn miserable just saying#i mean if saw myself as a person and some other headmate in my system kept trying to push that#im a broken piece of one person i would raise literal hell and make them hate life until they respect me#again antis need to quit saying what is recovery and what isn't#like shut up you're not the police of how systems work#pluralgang#pluralpunk#endo friendly#plural community#plurality#pro endo#mixed origin system#traumaendo#endogenic safe
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Hello, can i have a modern sylvain pls??? PS: i love how you draw scrimblos
Finally another Wheel Spin and thankfully modern equals I get to draw someone with fish somewhere on their outfit. (Overlay layer my friend how I missed you)
#fe three houses#sylvain jose gautier#also shout out to literally everyone yesterday who backed me up and supported me on making sure i wasnt in pain#regardless of how others told me to take pain meds cause hoo boy#i do feel better today without the pressure of being a disappointment by taking care of pain as need be#esp since im making sure to not overuse it - like im still obeying the times in between the doses and not doing more than allowed#and so yeehaw managed to speed run sylvain aka it took 25 minutes and i know this bc i set a timer for 30mins#just to make sure i didnt overdo it from aiming to please too hard while still recovering#truly wheel rng and desktop timers my beloved#they really help me lmao................. i .... need the motivation to start too so setting a timer makes me have to start#instead of putting it off and off by scrolling here or staring at a blank canvas pondering nothing
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i adopted this guy from a cardboard box on the side of the road
^^^^ he says this then instantly eats shit
#sunglasses guy -> sunny#nate was said by madi hjakfhkfs#ppl call him sunny night 2 annoy him bc he SUCKS#my failboy my cringefail boy#sunglasses guy#parkour civilization#sunny nate#evbo#im not drawing iron boots rn noooooooooooooooo#get leather instead#puppee art#NOBODY SAID THAT THOSE WERE PANTS#THEY COULD B A SKIRT WHICH IS Y HE SUCKS ASS @ PARKOUR#IM JUST SAYING HEY LISTEN 2 ME LKISTEN#y did i get attached 2 like the 1 guy who does not matter#i gave him long hair bc fuck u minecraft doesnt decide hair length I DO#parkciv#i rlly do just yap in my tags huh#im so srry 4 this cause tbh i think im the only person in the world who sees him like this#bc @ 1st i was liek damn im going 2 make him emo hehehehe#then i got bored bc he just wears a stupid hoodie so i drew more shit & then it progressed#then i gave him long hair bc cOUGH reasons#now im here & he looks nothing like his minecraft skin & thats fine i find it funny LMAO#my neck hurts#kinda#its more my shoudler cause im drawing @ a weird ablge
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it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp
#to be clear this isnt an excited post this is a scared post .#i feel kinda guilty about it with how excited i was about the first 2 movies#but i just cant be anymore paramount and the scu have disappointed me so much within the past year in so many ways ......#shadow is one of my favorite characters his lore makes me go crazy and is one of the things that pulled me into loving sonic so much#but i literally felt nothing while watching that trailer aside from confusion at some of the writing choices being made#like i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but why is sonic working with gun . wtf is gerald doing here . why are there no girls .#the only positives to me were things that were cool visually . which doesnt outweigh all the things that have annoyed/disappointed me#like who cares about another cool sonic and shadow fight scene we already have plenty of those .#Anyway. saw some of those new promotional images.#i swear to god if they actually start calling shadow+eggman+gerald team dark#like they suggested they might in that survey from a while back#im gonna become the joker for real#(insert the NO that is NOT solid snake image but it says team dark instead)#also maybe im taking the hedgehog games way too seriously here#but having gerald still be alive and present in some form feels like such a bad idea from a story perspective ... like .#for one shadow lost Everything in the gun raid having gerald still be here feels like its undermining that in a way#but also gerald's whole thing in sa2 is being long dead but still impacting the story despite that . why is he ALIVEEEE#and why is he here over rouge ???? do they just hate women or something#(before someone goes ''it would take too much time/money to animate another cgi character''#maybe the movies should have just been fully animated if that sort of thing was a concern . just saying)
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