#so im going for somewhere in between
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Have you ever hand once hand over one eye and had them both open?
Because of course I can still see forqard, but you're there too
Hazy and unfocused but still ever-present
and if I don't want to see the world
I can see you instead
and that's a world I can see with my eyes wide shut
PoetAnon
this is so cute 🥺 I do find it a little funny bc I read the first line and all I could think of was going to the optometrist bc of having glasses since I was 3 or 4 😭 "put ur hand over ur left eye and read the smallest line, okay now switch 😁"
anyway very relatable I do a similar thing at night when I'm trying to sleep giggle
also this is much more side tangent but I do this thing when I'm reading in bed where one eye ends up blocked (sometimes accidentally by a pillow sometimes intentionally covered) so my other does all the work to read (it's usually easier to read w just that eye too) and I recently realized that the eye that ends up covered is my weaker eye and that my eyesight in that eye has gotten worse the last couple years (and the other has gotten better) so now I'm very aware of that habit and the way it affects my vision (it also makes those eye patches they made me wear as a kid make a lot more sense)
point is (I don't think I had an actual point) a world that I can see clearly with my eyes wide anything is so foreign, it's always hazy and unfocused 🤭
#poet anon#i hope none of the stuff i say in response to ur poems ever comes across bad bc thats not the intention#my options are either sound so so pathetic just raving about you even tho idk who u are or spew my adhd ass thinking#so im going for somewhere in between#like i say its funny but really i mean i find my immediate line of thinking funny iykwim#also the world is not actually constantly unfocused but i do need a new prescription so it kinda feels like it rn 💀
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the way to the moon is about holding on (to the promise you don't even remember making, to the person you loved, to the life you never got to live but refuse to give up). it's johnny choosing to be with river time and time again, it's johnny holding on to all the paper rabbits river made even if he didn't know their significance, it's river keep trying to remind johnny of their shared past, it's river giving up her treatment so a place that means the world to her is protected, it's eva and neil trying their hardest to send johnny to the moon, it's eva taking the risk in hopes of making it
the way finding paradise is about letting go (of your mistakes, of the unrealistically perfect life you never lived, of the person who helped you through your darkest times but who now keeps you stuck in the past). it's colin letting go of faye despite being afraid, it's colin keep replacing pages in his book with new ones, it's faye knowing that colin never needed sigmund's help, it's faye telling colin he has to let go of her if he wants to live fully, it's neil and eva trusting faye despite what it means for them, it's neil taking the risk in hopes of making it
#IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEMMMMMMM#god#please#sobbing#THEM#what is impostor factory about?? great question#i need to play it at least 5 more times before i figure thag out#but i think#it's about choices in a way#i think it's in between letting go and holding on#it's all the different lives you could have lived if you chose something else#about the realities elsewhere#and how despite everything. all of them are still you#it's how different choices affect everything. from yourself to others#how ultimately you made a decision. this is your reality#but maybe somewhere else there was a chance for a different life#idk man im rambling#I LOVE THEM TO DEATH U DONT UNDEDSTAND#to the moon#finding paradise#freebird games#eva rosalene#neil watts#colin reeds#river wyles#faye#sigmund corp#i keep writing johnnys fucking name wrong save md#gamer hours#johnny wyles
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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[5]
“A guy”.
Sorry Doumeki you are just some guy now.
Though actually since this is Watanuki we're talking about, "A guy" is probably the kinder version of of how he phrased it when he was practicing this speech to himself.
Oho it’s all starting to click into place. She hates the taste of her own food because she hates something about herself that she can taste through her own cooking. Still debating whether it's something truly horrible or if she really just doesn't like herself.
#This could really go in any direction#The customers range wildly between ‘Im not confident enough’ and like#‘I once killed my best friend in cold blood’#SO LIKE#SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE THERE PROBABLY#Not liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#xxxholic 89#xxxholic#Watanuki#Doumeki#And Mystery Customer#Watanuki was probably still tempted to say like#‘That asshole who eats my food made a good point the other day - somehow’#But I can see how that would confuse the customer#he made the right choice
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posally number 4?
your wish is my command!!!! i love them SOOSOO much <3 this is set towards the very beginning of their relationship before they've realized how fucked they are <3333 Send me a prompt!
4. "Warn me next time!"
“Warn me next time!” she says, throwing a pillow across the room at him.
In the dim lamplight of the small cabin living room, he looks every bit the god he is; tall, imposing, regal. His sharp features stand out but are softened by the gentle light and the smile that creeps onto his face as he bends down to pick the pillow up.
Sally’s heart races in her chest.
(She tells herself it’s because he scared the shit out of her by just popping in unannounced, but it speeds up even more when his eyes meet hers from across the room.)
“I’m sorry,” he says as he walks over to her, floorboards creaking faintly below him.
This isn’t an uncommon occurrence these days, him meeting her here. It’s a routine they’ve fallen into—sunny mornings and blistering afternoons spent down on the sand before he disappears to do whatever it is the god of the sea has to do, only for him to sneak back to her under the cover of night.
She doesn’t mind.
He sits down beside her, leaning over her to put the pillow on the other side of the couch, his hand ghosting along her side as he sits back up. A blush heats her skin as a smirk plays on his lips.
“I couldn’t help myself,” he says, and it takes Sally a moment to realize he’s continuing his earlier statement. “I needed to see you again.”
Sally looks at him, wondering how much sincerity lies under the guise of his jests. His dark eyes don’t often give much away, but they’re soft when they look at her, and she thinks that somewhere along the line, their game was rendered little more than a scapegoat they could point to when things inevitably get complicated.
But for now, she basks in the knowledge that his eyes glisten when she searches them, and that his skin flushes beneath her touch, and that his lips are blazingly trailing along her jaw.
Her fingers thread through his hair, and a whisper of her name falls from his lips to grace her ears.
She doesn't answer, instead gasping slightly at his touch.
Whatever this is, whatever they are, she knows it will linger on her skin long after it’s ended.
#my recent obsession has been with the weird time period where neither of them know whether it's going to be Something More yet#somewhere between the 'oh this will be fun' and the 'oh im so fucked' stage#obsessed with sally just being here for a good time with her hot summer fling#and poseidon inevitably falling first (he was already in love with her when she smiled at him for the first time whats a man to do)#taylor answers#writing prompts#ask game#ask tag#godly-mistake#posally#posally drabble#taylor tries to write
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Every time I rewatch S1E2 Guess Who's Coming To The Wedding?, Dorothy's behaviour hits me harder. Not just how she acts around Stan (that final speech, oh my god Bea Arthur you magnificent actress), but how she acts around Kate and the whole premise. She's so excited about the wedding!! She's always wanted to give Kate a great wedding!! She says "Your wedding day should be the most beautiful day of your life" and you know she's been dreaming about her baby's wedding day ever since her own. You know she's desperately trying not to think of how anxious she felt, how trapped, how terrified, how chocked she was when she herself walked down the aisle. She says "And I just hope that you and Kate have all the happiness in the world!" and you can just see the memories of those 38 years of her life shoot through her mind, you can see her hold on to all the happy moments she can and pray that Kate's marriage is nothing but good years and happy Christmases. And the way her voice chokes up when she says goodbye to Kate?? "Now, listen, you be a good wife, you hear? Be his friend, be his lover. Don't be his slave!" Do you think these are the things she told herself during her marriage? Do you think these are the things people told her and she desperately tried to be all that -- to be the perfect friend, to be the perfect lover, so her marriage would work? Do you think that don't be his slave! was a desperate plea -- don't accept it all, don't stay no matter what he does, don't be like me? Listen this is just a rant and I am going nowhere with this but the truth is Dorothy is the strongest woman who ever lived on television and I love her so much and I want to bundle her up in a nice blanket and go beat up Stanley Zbornak with a baseball bat!!!! God!!!!!!
#watch the old sitcom they said. it will be light-hearted fun they said.#i will SCREAM and CRY oh my GOD#she deserved to have the wedding of a princess i am not kidding about this she deserved it all#and she deserved a happy life and a marriage full of love and to be treated like the queen she is!!!!#she deserved SO MUCH more oh my GOD dorothy!!!!! my heart bleeds for you!!!!!#im so sorry for rambling but like. i am in tears and i had to put all that somewhere. you understand#the PARALLELS between how she acts towards kate's wedding and how her own was!!! and the fact that she's going through all this#with STANLEY in the room!!! and he has the GULL to talk about his new wife oh she should have been allowed to actually murder him#and this is EPISODE TWO. is it any wonder i was hooked from the start?#if only that had really been goodbye to stanley. if only he'd really stayed out of her life forever. but NO he HAD to keep coming back! agh#thank GOD she found her girls and lived a happy life afterwards bc man. he should have been thrown into a jail for his crimes#ok im calm now. kind of. you know how it is#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak
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ik it's been pointed a ton that ash is way more physically affectionate with goh in journeys and he goes back to visit people a lot more often than he did compared to previous series which i think is such a nice development after sun and moon.. like ok i rewatched the final s/m episodes so many times and cried but the little details of ash going quiet when mao asks lilie if she will come back after finding her father, and kaki pointing out that ash's journey won't just be for the vacation.. when professor burnet and kukui hug him goodbye ash doesn't lift his arms to hug them back and idk. i just love these little details. i think alola taught him more to be more openly affectionate with his loved ones
#made this sideblog to be insane about anipoke because i started watching again starting from xy and am currently on journeys#and i needed to talk about it somewhere with somebody. anybofy all my irls will think im insane talking about the fucking pokemon anime#sorry for switching between the jp names and eng names i just got too used to ash but the other characters r jp names cuz i watched sub..#anipoke#pokemon anime#satoshi#ash ketchum#OK BUT ALSO I KNOW THAT ASH DOESNT RLY GO OUT OF HIS WAY TO /REALLY/ VISIT HIS OLD FRIENDS it's more that he just so happened to be-#traveling to the region with goh so he was stopping by but whatever! whatever#erm also sorry if there r missing character details on ash i dont remember anything pre-xy but i will prob go back to watch them sometime
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hii!! can we get some platonic fuuta amane interactions please? thabks !!!
Ahh yes, thank you so much for the request! I love them so much ;--; They've been making my brain go brrrr lately with T3 possibilities, though I decided to stay away from the drama for now. Here something sweet after T1 verdicts but before the attacks -- they're just hanging out :3
Yuno smiled down at Amane, finding her hunched over a table of craft supplies with Fuuta. The guilty verdict had hit them hard, so it was good to see them in better spirits. She tried to peer over her shoulder to see what they were working on. “Aw, what are you two up to?”
Amane returned her smile. “Fuuta is teaching me to misbehave.”
His face twitched in horror. “Oi, you can’t just go around saying that!” He looked frantically at Yuno. “We’re just folding paper planes.”
Amane lifted her chin. “You said in middle school, you made them to throw in class.”
“I said my friends made them to throw in class. And it’s not like I’m telling you to throw them. I was just making them because there’s nothing better to do in this damned place. You were the one that said it looked fun and sat down to annoy me!”
Fuuta huffed at the accusation as Yuno walked away, laughing. He returned to the design he was folding. He hadn’t been giving an explicit step-by-step for each, but Amane was keeping up just fine. They each had a small pile of various plane designs they were adding to.
Running a finger along a new crease, he gave Amane a sideways look. “Though, you could stand to misbehave a little bit.”
“I did.” She reached forward to mimic the fold on her own plane. “That is why I’m here.”
“Eh? I don’t mean you should commit crimes!” He scowled. “I’m talking about normal kid stuff, nothing against the law. Like staying out too late, driving your teacher crazy, funny vandalism–”
“--Vandalism is against the law.”
“Oh come on, it’s harmless! Don’t even try to argue that a little graffiti is comparable to what got you here.” He rolled his eyes. “So? What about that other stuff?”
She shook her head. With neither disappointment nor pride, she said, “I never left my home at night. And my teachers were far too strict.”
“Aw, it’s the strict ones that are the most fun to prank!” He pointed to Amane, adopting the most persuasive voice he could manage. “You gotta do some of these things, or you’ll turn out with a stick up your ass. Like Kotoko, or Mikoto. Or a weirdo like Kazui and Mahiru. Shidou’s more or less normal, and he’s the type of guy to break some rules now and then.”
“And you?” She raised her eyebrows at him, feigning innocence. “I take it you turned out perfectly because you misbehaved as a child?”
“Hey, I never said I was a shining role model or anything. But I mean it. If you stay like this, you’ll grow up to be a boring loser, another cog in the wheel.”
“It is an honor to be a part of something bigger than yourself, to find belonging, and purpose.”
“Tch, don’t be such a pain!”
“I wasn’t.”
“You know that’s not what I was talking about!”
“What were you talking about, then?” She gave him the same expression as before, and wondered if could hide her genuine confusion.
“Don’t play dumb. I know working in a group is a good thing, but you don’t want to kill yourself for leaders that don’t give a shit about you. That’s a major issue in this country, you know? In government, and corporations, and all that. That’s not belonging, that’s just exploitation.”
Amane stayed silent.
Oblivious to the emotions flashing across her lowered eyes, he nudged her in annoyance. “And the best way to break from that is to loosen up a bit. So have a little fun now and then, jeez!”
She picked her creation off the table. She turned it over in her hands. It had come out perfectly sharp and clean. “I’m having fun now.”
Fuuta, preparing to argue with whatever she said, blinked. “O-oh.”
“At school, my favorite activities included choir practice and the arts. It has been difficult to sing here without accompaniment, so I am grateful to have the opportunity for crafts.” She looked at him earnestly. “Despite your past of disobedience,” she smirked, “I always enjoy your company.”
His expression twisted up, but he couldn’t hide the reddening of his ears. “What do I care if a brat like you likes my company?”
She smiled. “I’m not a brat. As established, I am very well-behaved.”
“That’s even worse!”
“Tell me about this plane, Fuuta.”
After sufficiently rolling his eyes and sighing, he agreed. He started explaining what made these planes different from the last: how they compared on speed, accuracy, and length of flight. It didn’t really matter if they were just going to toss them around here or the panopticon later, he thought it would be helpful to teach her anyway. Maybe if she ever was inclined, she’d remember which ones were best for pinpointing a teacher’s back, or a warden’s…
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#thank you for the request!! this was so fun aw#today on Fuuta Is Helpful But Has No Idea What Hes Doing#featuring Amane Understands Perfectly What Hes Doing But Isnt Going To Let On#im genuinely torn on whether fuuta actually broke any rules of if hes just as much of a goody two shoes as amane and trying to hide it#ive done whole anayses on why hes a strict rule follower#but also he seems like a normal kid who did normal kid stuff like that too#in my heart he does know how to paint graffiti but im not sure#so i kept it all vague whether he was actually involved or not lol#and he has no idea the extent of rule breaking that shidou has been involved with 👀👀👀 RIP#i wish i could describe the exact amane expression i was picturing but its somewhere between the sassy minigram face and just in general#the face kids make when theyre suspicious/smarter than you and smug about it#i love themmmmm#drabbles
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OPTIMUS PRIME!!!
i love them so much im so excited to finish my orion pax design i love them
the scarring on her mouth is inspired by @squidthesquidd 's au !! i love its stuff :3
#design is subject to change especially the matrix#idk if you can tell but that's the matrix instead of his spark#i have a half baked orion pax in a notebook somewhere! so ill go and polish him up once im home#optimus prime#tf optimus prime#tf au#transformers au#MY ART#tf nemau#get it its like nemo and au#nemau… and you say it like a frencj person#art#tf art#fanart#tf fanart#transformers fanart#transformers art#maccadam#maccadams#pencil sketches#we wont talk about his eye shape changing between two drawings#the mask is very much a wip#idk how it works#lmao! :3#nemo art!
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Some BG3 Tav's (+ a Durge) cause I looove fucking with Character Customization in video games
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 durge#bg3 the dark urge#dz.bg3#close ups cause tumblr only lets you zoom in only to a certain extent#I've started all of these but Rose is the only one I'm actually far in (LVL 10 and somewhere in act III but I havn't finished the game yet)#I'd love to play all of them (esp Durge) but school starteded + I absolutly HATE being mean in video games :(#also being a bard is gonna suuuuuuuuuuck i always go barbarian so i have the max hp and just beat shit until its dead no techniqe at all#a bard is like the exact opposite of a fuckn barbarian#Durge (Cord) also might be subject to change chara design wise#keep fighting between tiefling or drow#also playing as rose when I go into chara creation with a race that doesnt have a tail im like...wheres your balance your gonna topple over
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Heavily inspired by @ssserf's fic here. It got my brain gears brring
Summary: After a harrowing incident, Ochanomizu's survival is dependent on Tenma constructing him an artificial body. He'll do it; but there is something darkly ironic in transforming the most "human" of them all into a machine. Though perhaps humanity isn't so narrowly defined.
Relationship: Tenma/Ochanomizu
Characters: Dr. Tenma, Professor Ochanomizu, Atom, Uran, Inspector Tawashi
Warnings: Near Death Experiences, Terrorism, Medical Procedures, PTSD
#tetsuwan atom#astro boy#my fic#umataro tenma#hiroshi ochanomizu#fic takes place a year and a halfish after the end of the 03 anime#so hes somewhat chilled out. but still not doing great#originally I was gonna put it somewhere between 03 and PLUTO and blend them into one continuity#but this was a more interesting premise and required less exposition to set up heh#im going to tenderize this man. by which I mean beat the shit out of him emotionally but also he will get to be soft sometimes#or like...try to be lol#the indomitable human soul
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Me @ a piece of media: Yay, something new I can latch onto! It stimulates the brain juices just right! This is my newest special interest!
Me when it ends: who am i. what is existence. empty. cry. yes cry. give me back my safety.
#yes i could finally finish bg3#and now im sad#halsin and i seemed so monogamous in the end :(#but at least i got a good ending for everyone#i think#i want to go back to idk where#somewhere where it's not over#😭 guess what ill do? play it again. so many times. maybe ill write some crossover fanfiction bc halsin and regal NEED to meet#and i need to be in between them 😏#im writing all this while the credits are rolling#please i cannot go back to reality nooooo#bg3#autism#do i tag other media that gave me the same feelings? eh people post worse in fandom tags#good omens#tales of symphonia#i want to tag community believe it or not but how do you tag a show called community?!#hannibal#uh martel there must be more#idk im in my feels rn cant think
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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Inside you are two wolves.
One thinks that gently admonishing people to be supportive of creators regardless of whether they make [preferred choice] or not is fine. This strikes it as possibly helpful, or at worst neutral.
The other wolf thinks that scolding random people as if they were small children who missed socialization in Kindergarten is frustrating and pointless. It did not miss Kindergarten, but it is starting to think maybe toddlers had a point about biting.
The two wolves are, to be fair, small! But boy are they active right now
#salem chatter#anyways recently ive been bouncing wildly between well this is Good its Fine to encourage people to be nice#and then im like. why are you talking to me like youre warning a toddler against a tantrum. is this actually going to make anyone nicer#i think overall the wolves probably settle somewhere around 'this is accomplishing nothing but also harmless'#but bitey wolf is so compelling!
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i love nonverbal eleven so much like yessss girl say nothing. it's always like "what did you see?" "who's going to die?" "what did you do?" my mysterious autistic angel. my beautiful cryptic princess tell them NOTHING
#i hc eleven as autistic w ptsd and like inevitable neurodivergency just from being raised in a lab#but definitely like the emotional regulation stuff she presents is more than j ptsd to me. shes me fr she gets it#i just love it so much when she just doesnt respond to people it's so based#i love badass autistic characters#we never get any of those#i hate bylers who dont like eleven cos they see her as the in between of mike and will#like fuck off go be a misogynist somewhere else#im queerplatonic mileven stan all the WAY bruh i cant wait for them to break up and just be besties#and be gay together#eleven#eleven stranger things#jane hopper
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