#so i kept it all vague whether he was actually involved or not lol

[good-beanswrites]

hii!! can we get some platonic fuuta amane interactions please? thabks !!!

Ahh yes, thank you so much for the request! I love them so much ;--; They've been making my brain go brrrr lately with T3 possibilities, though I decided to stay away from the drama for now. Here something sweet after T1 verdicts but before the attacks -- they're just hanging out :3

Yuno smiled down at Amane, finding her hunched over a table of craft supplies with Fuuta. The guilty verdict had hit them hard, so it was good to see them in better spirits. She tried to peer over her shoulder to see what they were working on. “Aw, what are you two up to?”

Amane returned her smile. “Fuuta is teaching me to misbehave.”

His face twitched in horror. “Oi, you can’t just go around saying that!” He looked frantically at Yuno. “We’re just folding paper planes.”

Amane lifted her chin. “You said in middle school, you made them to throw in class.”

“I said my friends made them to throw in class. And it’s not like I’m telling you to throw them. I was just making them because there’s nothing better to do in this damned place. You were the one that said it looked fun and sat down to annoy me!”

Fuuta huffed at the accusation as Yuno walked away, laughing. He returned to the design he was folding. He hadn’t been giving an explicit step-by-step for each, but Amane was keeping up just fine. They each had a small pile of various plane designs they were adding to. 

Running a finger along a new crease, he gave Amane a sideways look. “Though, you could stand to misbehave a little bit.”

“I did.” She reached forward to mimic the fold on her own plane. “That is why I’m here.”

“Eh? I don’t mean you should commit crimes!” He scowled. “I’m talking about normal kid stuff, nothing against the law. Like staying out too late, driving your teacher crazy, funny vandalism–”

“--Vandalism is against the law.”

“Oh come on, it’s harmless! Don’t even try to argue that a little graffiti is comparable to what got you here.” He rolled his eyes. “So? What about that other stuff?”

She shook her head. With neither disappointment nor pride, she said, “I never left my home at night. And my teachers were far too strict.” 

“Aw, it’s the strict ones that are the most fun to prank!” He pointed to Amane, adopting the most persuasive voice he could manage. “You gotta do some of these things, or you’ll turn out with a stick up your ass. Like Kotoko, or Mikoto. Or a weirdo like Kazui and Mahiru. Shidou’s more or less normal, and he’s the type of guy to break some rules now and then.”

“And you?” She raised her eyebrows at him, feigning innocence. “I take it you turned out perfectly because you misbehaved as a child?”

“Hey, I never said I was a shining role model or anything. But I mean it. If you stay like this, you’ll grow up to be a boring loser, another cog in the wheel.”

“It is an honor to be a part of something bigger than yourself, to find belonging, and purpose.”

“Tch, don’t be such a pain!”

“I wasn’t.”

“You know that’s not what I was talking about!”

“What were you talking about, then?” She gave him the same expression as before, and wondered if could hide her genuine confusion. 

“Don’t play dumb. I know working in a group is a good thing, but you don’t want to kill yourself for leaders that don’t give a shit about you. That’s a major issue in this country, you know? In government, and corporations, and all that. That’s not belonging, that’s just exploitation.”

Amane stayed silent.

Oblivious to the emotions flashing across her lowered eyes, he nudged her in annoyance. “And the best way to break from that is to loosen up a bit. So have a little fun now and then, jeez!”

She picked her creation off the table. She turned it over in her hands. It had come out perfectly sharp and clean. “I’m having fun now.”

Fuuta, preparing to argue with whatever she said, blinked. “O-oh.” 

“At school, my favorite activities included choir practice and the arts. It has been difficult to sing here without accompaniment, so I am grateful to have the opportunity for crafts.” She looked at him earnestly. “Despite your past of disobedience,” she smirked, “I always enjoy your company.”

His expression twisted up, but he couldn’t hide the reddening of his ears. “What do I care if a brat like you likes my company?”

She smiled. “I’m not a brat. As established, I am very well-behaved.”

“That’s even worse!”

“Tell me about this plane, Fuuta.”

After sufficiently rolling his eyes and sighing, he agreed. He started explaining what made these planes different from the last: how they compared on speed, accuracy, and length of flight. It didn’t really matter if they were just going to toss them around here or the panopticon later, he thought it would be helpful to teach her anyway. Maybe if she ever was inclined, she’d remember which ones were best for pinpointing a teacher’s back, or a warden’s…

[imminent-danger-came]

Yeah, David Breen had to write a tweet when the fan translated version of the Mandarin version of LMK came out. People were freaking out about Wukong being a deadbeat dad and debating on whether it was a d*ck move or Wukong recognizing that he had sh*t mental health and was not in the proper head space to take care of baby MK.

Also that memory? That was a vision MK had in Episode 3. He was helping Tripitaka with magic circle stuff, the vision broke in and interrupted the ritual, and all hell broke loose. It isn't an actual flashback to his childhood.

Thank you to the person who shared the screenshot in my notes! You're a real one. I'll put it here for easy reference:

First, I wanted to clear up that I didn't mean my questions in a "this is why it can't be true" way—cause it is true—but in a "these are the questions I have!" sort of way. I think that's how one person interpreted it and I'm like OH NO. MY QUESTIONS MEAN I'M INTRIGUED/WANT TO KNOW MORE I SWEAR.

Next, the visions in 4x03, 4x04, and 4x05 are different than what I think is a memory:

(4x03 The Great Tang Man) (Sending the curse one because like. what the fuck. what the fuck!)

-

(4x04 Pig Napped)

-

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

These are the visions of Sun Wukong trying to find MK in the scroll. They're different from what Subodhi presses MK to remember ("Tell me of your childhood, your parents." "You do not remember?" "And what else?"):

See the difference?

Every vision MK has includes the same scenes, except this one. That's why I think it's a memory; that and the way it's framed, with MK closing his eyes in focus. The other visions from 4x03, 4x04, and 4x05 all are unprompted, being forced upon MK. Why make this last "vision" so different from the others? Why show Guan Yin (?) making the stone monkey? That would be because it's a memory—be it MK's, something from the scroll, or a mix of both.

Monkey King not being MK's dad doesn't equate to him not being involved—MK being born from the stone means that he doesn't have any biological parents, it's a weird grey area. I also just can't imagine that Guan Yin (if it was her) made MK on top of flower fruit mountain and that Monkey King was none the wiser (edit: lol it was NOT on top of flower fruit mountain. Anyways, carry on!). I also don't know what other reason Sun Wukong would choose MK to be his "successor".

"Monkey King was ripping his way through memories looking for MK, but kept coming back to the stone. He doesn't know why."

I'll be honest, "he doesn't know why" is SUPER vague (which is good, can't have a writer spoiling the whole show on twitter lol). So, Monkey King doesn't know why he kept going back to the stone...what does that mean exactly? It's vague and up in the air, and it's phrased in such a specific way that I can't help but feel like Breen is being purposely misleading.

Either way, I don't really see the problem with Sun Wukong being a dead beat dad. Like he's not MK's dad, but if he were I don't understand what the issue with that is. Sun Wukong is an interesting character, he means well but he can also hurt others through the distance he builds around himself. In 3x05 Amnesia Rules he literally says "Can you imagine what I would be like if I didn't have friend's? I'd probably turn into a manipulative jerk!" Well, currently all of his past friend's are dead and he is a manipulative jerk. And I love him.

Sun Wukong is nuanced. He doesn't make the right choice all the time. The way he treated the main gang in s3 was fucking shitty ("how could you lead us into this fight without a real plan!?"). But he also doesn't intend to hurt people. He always has his own reasons. And, when he finally realizes the pain he's caused, he tries to make amends and put himself on the line. People "freaking out" about Wukong being a "dick" (which he kinda has been this whole time, he's a little shit and I love him) just reeks of purity culture.

AND THE FUNNY THING IS, WUKONG SPEAKS DIRECTLY AGAINST THAT:

“Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?” (4x01 Familiar Tales)

Wukong makes so many mistakes all the time. I don't know why in this instance it would be one step too far.

There's also just so much we don't know. We don't really know anything about MK's origins, or why he was created, or who created him, or what everyone knows/doesn't know. But I will say, whatever it is I'm excited for it!

[bitbrumal]

BLOG REOPENING

hewwo hewwo fellas & fuckos. winks with both eyes. i'm possibly going to slide in around here throughout the holiday season bc the writing itch be itching, so i'll provide an update on the muse list & the dynamics / threads i'd like to keep ( if y'all are also down ) from before my break.

if you would like this post if you're ( still / again / whatever ) interested in writing with me, i'd really appreciate it ! it'd let me know where to get started again ❤ i'm mainly looking for threads over meme replies, although the threads don't have to be lengthy or involved per se. inbox things just aren't doing it for me.

MUSES

UNDER RECONSIDERATION : KHIONIYA / TSARITSA ( open to all )

I wanna keep her, but I've gotta rewrite her. I've been going on pure wishfulfilment MommyTM vibes, but we need a bit more canon accuracy lmfao. Goddess/Archon of Love, yes, but I ought not ignore that she has become like a reversed tarot card :joy:

SCRAPPED : ALHAITHAM

I should be feeling this criminally autistic nerd, but I'm not. Maybe I will some day. I'm leaving him be for right now.

SCRAPPED : CAPITANO

't isn't happening. i'm not... doing what i wanna be doing with him & i also don't care so fwhoop that one's going.

ADDED : WRIOTHESLEY

No-one's surprised. Daddy came home with the milk the moment I called for him, & uh. As soon as I actually fucking play the Fontaine quests I'm sure I'll pick him up. ( I accidentally spoilered myself on his tragicTM backstory & on god this man is a king. ) ( If I fall sideways into neuvilette instead nobody laugh at me. )

KEPT : DOTTORE ( semi-selectively open to all - he's picky & that limits my options ) REGRATOR ( for select fatui threads unless smth Happens ) TARTAGLIA ( open to all ) KAEYA ( open to all ) DILUC ( open to all )

THREADS & DYNAMICS

Obviously I understand if we're not on the same page about carrying on where we left off, no hard feelings. We can start over, pick something new, slap new muses together, or do nothing it all. Issal GucciTM.

LIKE I NEVER LEFT LOL :

I'd love to pick back up where I left off with @galactia, on any & all muses, their dynamics, & also threads c:

The same goes for @bunnyshot, although I see you haven't been online in ages! Regardless, if we're ever on the timeline at the same time again you know I am down to clown. This includes your other muses.

@torrentide HOMIE. HOMIE. HOMIE. HOME BREWSKI. i am down for everything from before & more, idc what.

If @greedbent is still down to clown, I'd love to carry on with what we were brainstorming in the DMs.

Same to you, @howthesleeplesswander!! I see you writing in another fandom on the dash atm, so I get it if you're not in the vibes for what we were brainstorming in the DMs, but I'm still hype to write with you if the mood strikes you. Lmk if you're down :thumbsup: ❤

@xiielians You know idek wtf you're doing right now bc much as the dramatic chinese gaylords captivate me, I haven't indulged in the fandom + I'm waiting patiently on that novel of yours with eyes peeled—but if you wanna play with anything ( whether I know the fandom/char or not ), I'm sure I'll be game!!

@ncrthlandbank I'd love to continue what we were doing with vlad & alyos ❤ if you're down! The thread where regrator terrorizes vlad is one of my alltime faves & still lives rent-free in my head :weary: it's the only time i did him any type of justice & your no-longer-non-playable-characters are awesome.

REBOOT :

Here go all of my moots with who i never fully settled anything ( dynamic / muse / thread-wise ), but was vaguely interacting with on the dash here & there... I am down to clown with all of you, I'd love to start something be it serious or silly. Whether you wanna continue vaguely doing things here & there or you wanna plot something out, idgaf I am so down to clown i am . the whole circus. vamos lmao.

[writing-in-april]

Postmarked In The Past

Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader

Summary: After sixteen years of no contact Reader reconnects with Spencer because she has to reveal the secret she’s been keeping since she stopped sending letters to him.

A/N: Hey heyyy! This is my sixteenth fic (it’s actually was totally unintentional to choose the 16th for this fic even though the daughter is 16 in this fic lol 😂) for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one is based off of this request and is part of my unlinked Spencer Reid & Letters series! Thanks for all the love and support lately- I was going to put out my plan for my 1500 follower celebration yesterday or today but if you saw my post I’ve been struggling so it’ll probably come on the 19th or the 20th. Submit an ask here- I love hearing from everyone 🥰Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Warnings: Reader keeps a huge secret she definitely shouldn’t have, Reader is a single mother-the daughter doesn’t have a specified name but she is specified to be 16, Reader is very defensive when her daughter finds the letters, mentions of a one night stand

Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.5k

Spencer had been a bright spot in my life, one that had been snuffed out all because of me. When I had found myself pregnant with his child, after I had visited him once, I bolted. For a long time I justified my actions, saying to myself that it was better that Spencer was unburdened while his career was just starting out. But, deep down I knew how wonderful Spencer would have been as a father, how he would have moved heaven and earth to make everything work. And, that guilt haunted me.

The memories I had of him were so far in between, every moment with him had been so fleeting at the end. I struggled to sometimes even remember how he looked as it had been sixteen years since I last laid eyes on him.

I had to strain my memory to remember the way his gelled hair curled around his ears and how sometimes I saw him let the curls free only around me. His eyes had been brown, I could remember that. But, pinpointing what shade they were when they glinted in the light or were drenched in the shadows was lost to me. I knew he had been tall and lanky, his hands reflecting that with how spindly they were. To remember how those fingers had felt on my skin, or how his lips had marked me, or how he would gently stroke my hair was too difficult. Whether it was because I couldn’t remember or that I didn’t want to, it was just too hard for me to want to try to strain my memory anymore.

The labor had been the most difficult thing I had gone through, no one had been there to hold my hand. And, I didn’t really want anybody else except Spencer holding it. I had gritted my teeth and accepted it, pushing through the physical and emotional pain, especially since the pain of losing Spencer had been entirely because of me. I had been given a beautiful baby daughter that day and it was then that I started to force myself to forget Spencer, she looked too much like him to be able to bear.

The only things that remained in my life that involved him were the letters I sent to him in the last year of our relationship while we were long distance and my daughter. The letters were able to be shoved in a box at the bottom of a closet, but my daughter confronted me with my actions everyday by existing. I loved my daughter very much, I just tried to avoid the topic of her father by concocting a lie and making myself forget all of Spencer’s features so I wouldn’t see them as much in her. My nightmare would be the two things converging to confront me with my guilt, I don’t think I could handle that.

—-

At the kitchen table I saw my daughter, holding a letter. Her holding a letter wasn’t at its core a bad thing of course, but I could tell by the slight yellowing of the paper that it was getting old. Immediately panic spread through me; there were no other old letters she’d be looking at besides mine, the ones I sent to Spencer.

“Those are private.” I snapped defensively, definitely too hostile to be reasonable. It was obvious by my tone of voice that I was hiding something.

“Private?!” She yelled, giving away that she had already read at least a few of them. I clenched my eyes shut to prepare for her question, “Are these from my father?! Who you said was a one night stand?!” I vividly remember explaining the lie I had concocted for her, her being confused why I would only be with her father once. It was a hard subject to dance around, a difficult lie for me and her to swallow. But, the alternative was too painful for me to be honest with her, or honest with Spencer. And, I knew it made me selfish, at the time it had been so Spencer wouldn’t stop his blossoming career. With time I realized that I really had done it because I had been scared. The guilt had started to sting worse when I realized that.

I had been caught, there was no weaseling out of this. I hanged my head in defeat, finally admitting to the large lie I had even roped the rest of my family in, “Yes.”

If she had been a dragon she’d be breathing fire on me while she spoke, “And why would you keep this from me! Did he do something bad or something?! Is that why you didn’t tell me?!”

“No-I-“ I stammered a few times until I found the words, “I- I did it because I didn’t want to hold him back… We were so young, and I knew he’d quit his new job across the country to come back to me.” Keeping the details still vague was my only armor right now. I kept to myself how those letters were the way we communicated for months when he started in the academy. We were only able to meet up once a month, and one month I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I never sent another letter or came to visit him again once I found out.

She clenched her jaw at me, looking back down at the scores of letters that we had written, and I had hidden. Her next question now made me clench my jaw, “C-can I see him? Or call him? Or send him a letter?” If you don’t know how to contact him anymore I’m sure we can-“

I was nervous as to where this was going. There was no way I could contact Spencer again after all these years, the guilt already ate at me everyday. Seeing and remembering his face would only make it worse. Fear was fueling me and I cut her off because of it, “No- I- I don’t think it’s a good idea...I just need more time- until I’m ready.” I started to shrink away from her, my authority slipping through my fingers as I became more and more vulnerable.

“You’ve waited sixteen years, you’ll never be ready.” The spite in her voice was stinging, she wasn’t completely wrong in her statement.. And when I didn’t answer she then stormed away, slamming the door to her room.

——

Our relationship in the few weeks following was strained at best, estranged at worse. She barely spoke to me since then, the biggest conversation we had was about what was for dinner- and that had been about two sentences long.

I was slowly coming around to the idea of perhaps finding a way for her and Spencer to reconnect. The guilt that I had been so afraid of becoming worse if I confronted it head on, only grew worse by avoiding it. I was actually going to talk to her after I got home from work, until I realized what she did.

She left her own letter on the table titled Dear Mom, detailing where she was going without giving any specifics. There was one part that gave her reasoning for writing her plan down, she didn’t want me to have a heart attack even if she was mad at me. Plus there were a few sentences about how she had used her own money that she had been saving up, which was supposed to be for college only serving to make you even more frustrated. At the bottom she wrote- I’m going to find my Dad, please don’t follow me or call the police.

I scoffed to myself, wondering if she expected her warning to not to follow her to be followed. Of course I was going to follow her, there was no way I was going to just let her go off on her own like that.

It wouldn’t be too hard to find her. Spencer may have changed apartments since then, but one quick google search of news articles he was mentioned in showed me that he still worked at the BAU in Quantico. It was probably a safe bet that my daughter did the same thing and was planning on visiting him at his office.

The plane ride there had been tumultuous, not in the sense that there was any chaotic occurrence or severe turbulence on the plan, more like in my mind. My hands shook, my foot tapped, and my mind raced while I took the long flight from Las Vegas all the way to Quantico. My mind went round in circles whether or not I viewed Spencer meeting my daughter- our daughter as a good thing. It was difficult to accept that even though they’d both most likely be mad at me, they deserved to meet. Especially since I knew how good of a father Spencer could potentially be. Once I had landed I didn’t stop, getting a cab straight from the airport to where the BAU offices were located.

The building looked daunting in front of me. It wasn’t a skyscraper by any means, but the task that I was here to do was so big it felt like one as I stared at it while trying to work up the courage to go in. The guilt however, was too hard to ignore.

My mind was on autopilot as I told the secretary at one of the front desks. It was too stressful to focus on worrying, so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I was riding. An agent had assured me that she was safe which made some of the stress melt from my shoulders luckily.

“Here she is.” The agent gestured to the office, empty of any other person except my daughter. I felt even more relieved now that I saw her with my own eyes.

When I entered she waited a second before speaking timidly with disappointment, “He’s not here, he's on a case.” Her demeanor had deflated almost immediately as she saw me escorted up.

“Who told you that?” My arms crossed around my chest, nervous and furious all at once. I didn’t need to tell my daughter how in trouble she was, by the pout on her face she knew she’d be getting grounded for a long time even if I did let her talk to him.

“This nice lady named Garcia, she works with him. But, she did tell me I had to wait for you until she called him” For the first time since I had read her letter to me I cracked a smile. When we had still been communicating, Spencer often wrote and spoke about his teammates. Besides a fleeting photo of the team shown to me by him while I had been over here visiting, all my perceptions of the team and how they might look were all based on my imagination.

Despite that, when a vibrantly dressed woman clicked her heels into the room, I knew it was her. Spencer had perfectly described her, shining bright compared to the dull colors of the bureau’s office.

“So your Spencer’s baby mama.” Yep, she was definitely as blunt and beautiful as Spencer had described. I blanched at her comment, though I didn’t deny it, which was all she needed to know to confirm.

“Can you give me his number?” I skittered past the question, not wanting to confirm it out loud.

She beamed brightly at me, already starting to punch in the numbers with the phone on the desk in front of me. “You can call him now if you want on this phone, they just stopped working for the day.”

When she handed me the phone, it had already started ringing. I couldn’t help but panic, almost refusing the phone until my daughter nudged me forward to grab it. My finger trembled severely as I wrapped my hands around the phone, but I still managed to hold on to bring it up to my ear just as someone picked up the phone.

“Hello?” It was him, he sounded so similar to the boy you knew, that boy was a man now. He sounded more haggard compared to sixteen years ago; I wondered what all had happened since then.

“Hey- Spencer it’s me.” By the hitch in his voice that came through the speaker, he knew who it was.

At first I heard nothing from him, only some rustled feedback in the speaker. My shoulders were practically at my ears now afraid he might hang up. He did eventually stumble out a greeting, “H-hi? Why are you calling me after all these years- aaand on a phone at my work?”

“I’ve got to be honest with you,” I cryptically answered with an evident shake in my voice. I was biting my nails now, not caring if I chipped the polish on them. My daughter grabbed my hand to comfort me even though she was probably still furious at me which helped coax out my next statement, “cause I haven’t told you why I stopped talking to you…” I breathed in deeply once before I finally admitted the secret I had held for so many years, “Spencer, you have a daughter, she just turned sixteen.”

Dead silence was all I got, that was until I heard a choked out sob from him, “Why?”

He didn’t need to elaborate any further, it was quite clear what he was asking. Again another meek shaky reply came from me, “There were a lot of reasons- the main one was I didn’t want to hold you back.”

My daughter was now crying as was I, I hadn’t given her my reasoning until now. Maybe one day I’d give Spencer all the reasons why I had hidden it from him for so many years even though it was painful. I had held a lot of guilt about not ever contacting him again or even sending another letter. Spencer deserved to know everything, especially about his daughter who was the spitting image of him in almost every way.

“Can I talk to her?” I agreed, which seemed to surprise my daughter. I think she thought I’d be furious enough with her to not let her speak to him. She would still be getting many privileges taken away from her, just not this one as it was my fault she never knew her father in the first place. My fingers shook even more as I moved to click the speaker button so he could hear her speak.

“Hi- dad.” They spoke for a while, while I took the back seat, barely interjecting. They both deserved every ounce of father and daughter time that I had deprived them from throughout the years. My chest did feel lighter now that I had told him, now that my daughter was getting the chance to know him. Hearing them laugh and giggle with each other almost immediately only cemented how much she was her father’s daughter.

When the phone was handed back to me, after seemingly hours of talking (Garcia had even popped in a few times to get me more coffee) Spencer asked,“Can you stay in Quantico till I get back?”

I smiled, happy that I’d finally be able to see and remember his face again after all this time, “We’ll be here waiting, it’s time you meet your daughter in person.”

Ask Me Anything

—

Tag lists (fill out this form to join): If your url has a strike through it means tumblr won’t let me tag you- check in your settings if you allow yourself to be searchable

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat @anaagraceeberr @ashcakes1918 @reid-me-a-story @cosmic-psychickitty

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat

Letters Series: (Group of Unlinked fluff fics about Spencer and letters): @whoreforthebau @sierraraeck @90spumkin

[undertalethingies]

Judge and Jury

Set after a pacifist neutral ending. (Only Asgore is dead)

Not long after the queen returned, she called a meeting of all Asgore’s old employees. It made sense to, right? Gotta figure out who’s assigned to do what and who’s got tasks they weren’t supposed to chat about and all that jazz.

Sans very nearly didn’t come. But Tori knew he worked as a sentry, so if he didn’t show, she’d notice, and he really didn’t want them finally actually meeting to be marred by her disappointment at his work ethic.

...Or that was what he’d tell other people, if they asked. Truth was, Sans’ sense of duty ran a lot deeper than he let most people pick up on. He’d always cared deeply about the kingdom and the people in it. It was why he’d been chosen as Judge, actually. Because he had both the compassion to choose mercy when it was right and the resolve to fight when necessary.

He still didn’t know whether he’d made the right decision with the human, even though he knew both Asgore and Toriel would approve, if he explained.

Not that he could explain anything to Asgore, now. 

...Dammit, he missed the big guy. And the human would still have kept going even if Sans had fought them, sure. They had too much DT to do otherwise, but it didn’t stop him from feeling like even more of a useless shit than usual.

Anyway, the meeting. He went.

Looking around, he could see that not everyone had. Two of the Hotland guards had skipped, along with the Temmies. The latter might be for the best, in all honesty. Even Sans, who was probably the most informed monster in the Underground even before Asgore kicked it, had never been made aware what exactly the Tems did. The few cryptic hints they’d given him over the years had only made him want to know less.

The attendees included all of the Snowdin Guard (including him and Papyrus, the sentries), Undyne, two guards from hotland who he didn’t know all that well, Alphys, and a couple monsters from New home who served in administrative capacities.

Toriel made a speech about how, while she would be dismantling the Royal Guard, she had plans to keep many of them on the payroll as a police force, which shouldn’t be too big a change from their previous duties. (While the Royal Guard ostensibly existed to capture humans, they fell far too rarely for an entire force dedicated solely to capturing them to make sense, so they also acted as a disciplinary force)

Sans made plans to talk with Undyne about letting Papyrus into the new force, since he doubted she’d realize that this removed any reason to keep him off. (Papyrus was pretty much the ideal cop, in Sans’ opinion. Hard to be a criminal when he was so freakin’ nice)

Undyne would be remaining the Captain, apparently. Despite her actions in attempting to capture the human, she’d been acting for the good of her people, and so long as she didn’t let “the ends justify the means” act as an excuse for cruelty again, Tori had no issue with her.

Or that’s what she said, at least. Sans suspected that it was more because Tori didn’t know anyone well enough to appoint a captain who’d be better than Undyne, so she just didn’t bother.

Then she went through the administrators, having them explain their roles and their duties. She didn’t immediately change much there, probably wanting to get a feel for how the kingdom had changed in her absence first, which seemed reasonable.

She had a brief discussion with Alphys as well, and he got the sense that there was definitely more of that to come later. Toriel seemed like the type to expect regular reports from her Royal Scientist, and Sans wondered how long she’d be able to keep the DT experiments a secret with actual oversight.

Then came the part he’d been dreading, where Toriel turned to him.

“Forgive me, old friend, but I do not actually know all of the jobs you worked for Asgore?” There was nothing but polite curiosity in her tone, and he knew she probably wasn’t expecting him to say much more than “sentry”. He’d hinted a few times that his real role is a bit more than that, which was probably the only reason she was asking at all, but he knew she’d probably never guess his real role in her wildest dreams.

“eh, fair. i kinda do a lot,” he was being deliberately vague, unable to resist delaying this revelation for just a few extra moments. Alphys met his gaze, and he could tell she understood.

“Yes, but what, precisely?” Toriel asked, getting that glint in her eye he recognized from every parent he’d ever spoken to. Say what you will about people with kids, but they knew when you dodged a question. 

“well, i’m a sentry in snowdin, waterfall, and hotland,” He was, indeed, a sentry in all of those places. It wasn’t like he was lying, just… omitting a detail. Next to him, Papyrus narrowed his eyes slightly, because Papyrus could smell Sans fudging the truth from miles away at this point. He didn’t say anything, though, since he knew it was rude to talk out of turn in a meeting like this. (Sans had briefed him, beforehand, on the social niceties that would be involved)

Toriel just looked mildly startled, presumably thinking of the commute between regions, since he’d never really talked to her about his shortcuts. (He’d never really talked to anyone about his shortcuts, just used them and let them draw their own conclusions)

“You manned three stations? That seems like quite a lot,” Heh, she had no idea. 

“eh, i manage,” He could see from Tori’s face that she doubted that, but she was polite and didn't say so. 

“S-Sans,” Oh, great. Alphys was glaring at him the way she did when he was being an idiot, and he supposed that he kinda deserved it. No way Tori wasn’t gonna ask who the Judge was at some point, y’know? It wasn’t really a role the kingdom could do without.

“I-if. If you d-don’t tell her, she’ll, she’ll find it in the r-records and then it’ll b-be awkward,” Sans looked to the side.

“i mean, bold of you to assume i wouldn’t just doctor ‘em if i wanted it to be a secret,” Several people in the room looked mildly alarmed, and he wasn’t sure why. He was only implying he had the means to easily edit some of the most highly secured documents in the kingdom, after all. Lol. 

“Sans,” Alphys hissed. He knew she was being serious because she didn’t stutter on his name at all, and she only tended to forget to when she was totally pissed. Apparently this actually mattered to her, then. Or maybe she just didn’t want him to get caught in a lie the way she had been, which was a nice sentiment, if misplaced.

“yeah, ok. so i’m not just a sentry,” He admitted. Toriel’s eyebrows drew together into a slightly concerned expression.

“Sans, exactly how many jobs do you work?”

“well, if the sentries are all separate, that’s three. then there’s the semi illegal hotdog stand, but i do that at the hotland station, so i’m not really sure if it counts as its own thing. i also do comedy gigs at mettaton’s hotel sometimes, and then there’s, uh, the one alph was talking about,” His expression slid into something vaguely sheepish and he rubbed at the back of his skull with a gloved hand. He really didn’t want to talk about this, necessary as it may be.

“And what job would that be, Sans?” Toriel asked politely. She was being nice about it, but he could tell she was getting a bit annoyed at his evasion.

Sans placed his hands in his lap, looking her straight in the eye with a serious expression. He kept his tone serious, too, so she’d know he was telling the truth.

“I’m the Judge.” He ended his sentence with a period, even though he knew it wasn’t strictly proper. He’d always liked the finalty a period conveys.

Toriel’s eyes widened, along with Undyne’s. Sans had been pretty surprised when Asgore had said he didn’t want to disclose Sans’ identity to the Captain, but the late King had explained that, while he trusted her unconditionally, he knew Sans wanted to keep his role on the downlow, and Undyne wasn’t exactly chosen for her skills at subtlety.

Sans didn’t see even a speck of surprise in his brother’s expression, which filled him with pride. He’d never outright told Pap about his job, but he’d always been more perceptive than he let on, and Sans had been pretty sure he’d known. This basically confirmed it.

“You never mentioned that,” Says Tori, looking like she felt a bit betrayed but was trying to hide it.

“nothing personal, tor. i just, uh, strongly dislike talking about it,” Sans said, attempting to reassure her. It was the truth. Sans had always loathed people who used high status positions like Judge to get extra privileges or whatever, and he disliked the fear the Judge was regarded with even more. (He’d known the old Judge, and he’d seen the way the guy got treated by those around him. It wasn’t anything he wanted for himself)

Toriel looked mollified by his admission, meanwhile Undyne was still gaping like a fish because she knew both his stats and the things he’d done during his tenure as Judge, and was probably having difficulty reconciling the two seemingly conflicting accounts in her mind.

“I see. Well, we will certainly need to discuss this later, but perhaps it might be better to do so in private,” Wonderful. At least then he’d only be revealing the extremely personal information that had to do with his job to one person, rather than literally everyone employed by Asgore.

On that note, he was pretty sure that the news of him being the Judge would be all over the underground within hours of this meeting’s conclusion, so that was fun.

Man could he not wait for the reset.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

To Do List:

What's up, my Herd of Nerds?

Anyway, as you can tell, tomorrow is AU Sunday. But, because it's one after a 'my input' one, it's a follower input AU day! Yay!

So, send me your AUs and I'll put all of em in a hat to pick one randomly. The winner is picked and posted and we'll all try and make headcanons about your AU.

Done:

Zombie Apocalypse AU :: (https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost)

Pirate AU ::

Currently In The Raffle:

-Toy Story AU.

-Ever After High/Descendants/Vaguely 'nex gen priness' AU.

-Eldritch Horror AU :: Or if that's a bit too out there, a more normal Monster AU. I don't care, but in my heart, I know Cleo is some kind of eldritch horror. Zombie is far too easy.

-Eldritch Monster AU! Hermits are all Lovecraftian horrors who all individually decided that they wanted to pretend to be normal and are all trying to hide their otherworldliness. I also feel like Mumbo or X or someone as the one actually "normal" player on the server would work well. Most hermits don't know that everyone else isn't normal either, but some find out about friends maybe.

-Rabid Debate Club AU :: Random weird au idea where it's basic hs/uni au but like two of them try to start a debate club, then invite some friends just so there's enough people; cut to like two months later, it's all the hermits just fighting over whether or not pineapple should go on pizza or not lol it isn't very good i'm sorry but ya know rabid debate club AU.

-Animal/shapeshifting AU :: (Suggested Twice.) Every hermit can shapeshift into one token animal. (If it's something like "dog," they can only turn into one breed and color of dog, EXAMPLE: doc can shift into a black sable belgian malinois, but not anything else.)

-Wedding Planners AU :: Hermits work in various unrelated businesses such as a bakery, flower shop, etc., but see each other semi-often bc they're semi-often called upon to work together by another hermit's wedding planning business (obvs if you couldn't tell i know absolutely nothing abt wedding planning & businesses n shit lol but it's the /concept/ of it yannknow)

-Avatar: The Last Air Bender AU. (Suggested Thrice.)

-Fusion AU :: (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested Twice.) What if Hermits could fuse with each other? (Viva and Jumbo fused into MumboJumbo.)

-SCP AU :: The hermits have spooky powers and are kept locked up bc of it (or they have to keep the world safe from monsters and cursed objects!)

-RPG AU :: I feel like someone already thought of that but I am just wondering about it lately :p -🍋

-Adventure Time AU :: The hermits live in a post-apocalyptic world and the Lich (bad guy) is making everything decay. They need to gather all the gems (belt colours) to unlock the Enchiridion (a book) and have one wish each granted from Prismo (multiverse wish granting dude) before the Lich does. Only 4 elements can enter the multiverse: Slime (The Lich & Jevin), Redstone (Tango or Mumbo?), Ice (Stress), and Dirt (Grian, much to his dismay). Only the elementals can see the book. Grian's the protagonist with his sidekick Scar. He originally started collecting the belts because they were shiny but eventually decided to read the book and find out what they were for when Scar said he didn't see it. Doc, False, and Iskall are major obstacles because they don't believe the book exists.</p>

-Total Drama Island AU.

-Magical Girl AU :: Zedaph's the lead magical girl and rounds up a bunch of other magical girl hermits.

-Pokeman AU :: What are the Hermit's roles in this world? Who's the Champion, Elite Four. Are they scientists? Trainers? Do they compete in competitions, do they specialize in types? Who's everyone's starter? Has anyone encountered any legendaries?

-College AU

-High School AU

-Wizard101 AU :: I (🦊) recently got this AU idea and recently started going off somewhere with it in terms of writing, but, like, Hermitcraft meets Wizard101. Tons and tons of magical shenanigans, monster hunting, and idk what else.

-Magic AU

-My Hero Academia AU :: Headcanons can be about which hermits would have what quirks and occupations based on them.

-So I'm writing an AU where there's a second game of Demise but 5 years later. So far the first 2 hermits (Joe and Xisuma) have died, and their dead forms are cracked with an arrow in his chest (Xisuma) and cyborg (Joe). So since it's Saturday, I'm looking for what some skins would look for.

-City AU :: I mean this is really just a normal everyday AU.

-School AU.

-Terraria-Minecraft Fusion AU :: Who chooses what class? what events do each hermit prefer? how to they deal with the world infections? preferred biomes? Favourite NPCS? It has potentiallllll.

-70s/80s Teen Horror AU :: (like Stranger Things, Carreie, The Lost Boys, Halloween, etc.) -🦇

-Demi-God AU :: Sort of like percy jackson (everyone being the children of different gods from all different cultures.)

-Supernatural AU

-Marching Band AU :: Xisuma is the band major and all the show music is the remixes. I need to come up with some ideas for uniforms. Outfits and flags for the colorguard too.

-Different Eras AU :: (Suggested Twice.) All the hermits are from different time periods or eras. Like Wels is from the mediveal/dark era, Mumbo is from 1890-1920's, Iskall is from 2030, TFC is from 2020(?), Cleo is from 2130, etc!!! Like the mobs/animals became feused with humans, is when the mob players came from.

-Star Trek AU :: Like maybe they could be on one ship and each have different roles like engineers or doctors? I don’t know if this has been suggested but hope you enjoy! - 🐦

-House Mates AU :: ApartmentAU but scaled down?

-Atlantis AU :: (Could be merged with Mermaid AU???)

-Fighting Game AU :: Some influences would be Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and Ultra Instinct, that kind of stuff.

-Time loop AU :: The hermits each have to deal with their own time loop.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)

-Superhero/superpower AU :: They each have a unique power/powerset that is in some way connected to their personality. (ie Mumbo *could* control electricity because of his love of redstone) Some Hermits may even choose to be "villains" and prank their other servermates. If you need power ideas, I've got a couple. (12u3ie)

-Daycare AU :: The recap peeps are the caretakers :P (-@tikauniverse.)

-Incredibly Long Cross Country Train Ride AU :: they all are in the same train car, telling stories of where they’re going, backstories.)

-Stuck In An Airport AU :: pretty similar to train au but they can be going diff places.

-Doctors AU :: they’re all doctors working at the same hospital.)

-Circus AU (Also suggested by an Anon.) (Suggested Twice.)

-Spy AU (Also suggested by @shadeswiftdraws.) (Suggested Twice.)

-Runaways AU :: The hermits are all teenagers who have run away from home, they all live on the streets until TFC takes them in. Head canons can be about backstories, living on the streets, or when they’re with TFC.

-Criminals and Police Officers AU

(-@lookitsspacekween)

-Dancer AU :: I mean, I already got a list kind of planned out, but headcanons for why specific styles are chosen would be appreciated! :) (usedtobelucythefallenangel)

-Broadway/Musicals Hermits AU :: The hermits are all casts of various musicals and when this newly-built theater opens up they all fight for which musical gets to play in it first (they have a riff-off maybe?) musicals mainly included are Hamilton, BMC, DEH, SiX, Beetlejuice, etc (feel free to add more!) (-@heyitsroby.)

-DnD AU (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested twice.)

-Mermaid AU :: In honor of the end of Mermay

-Space exploration AU :: There could be different ships, command centers, aliens.... Maybe someone could even get stranded/crash on a new planet? Who knows, could be fun.

-Paranormal/ghost hunter AU :: A couple Hermits could be the ghost hunters going to haunted locations to prove/disprove their hauntedness, others could be camera crew, owners of haunted buildings, or even the ghosts themselves.

-Camping/Vacation AU.

-Summer Cottage AU :: They all spend summers/weekends along the same shoreline and do different summer activities together. Outdoor fun and shenanigans!

-Space AU :: like star trek or similar.

-I would say evil clone au but I think that's pretty much the entire Hermitcraft tumblr right now lol. (Suggested twice.)

(-@shadeswiftdraws.)

-Magic AU :: Magic exists and all the hermits have powers. They can also summon a weapon but what that weapon is depends on the hermit. I'm thinking it'll take place in a sort-of Demise 2 in S7 with a big war. So far I've got: Grian - Cloning himself to his different personas (each has a different power). Xisuma - Making barriers, teleporting, and transforming into different mobs. Scar - Making mutant plants & boosting other hermits' attack & health. (-@datsaltyperson.)

-Demon AU :: Something enters the overworld and turns into a supernatural style-demon through Dimentional Distortion. Who gets posessed first, who goes crazy, and who actually kills it? Honestly I think that, if anything, Tango would know how to gank it, for obvious reasons. (-@fireflower-dusk.)

-High Street AU :: Everyone owns a different shop on the same street or some run a shop together (-@violets-arepurple.)

-Cat AU :: Either they're were always cats, or Hels turned everyone, including himself, into a cat, and they have to survive and overcome challenges in the Season 7 world. An example of a challenge would be Cub's a Sand Cat(the cats that always look like kittens no matter how old they are and live in deserts), and everyone's not sure if he can actually swim, so they have to find a way for him to get around without involving water. (-@scp10000.)

-How about a secret AU.. Every hermit has their big secrets and when Grian joined. He doesn't really know anything about those secrets even till season 7. Not many hermits talked to him in S6 anyway.. Mumbo was the closest to him so they would have regular chats For Iskall is mostly business related things Grian wants to know why so he set out on a quest to force the others to at least talk to him so he wouldn't be lonely. (-@babylightstudentbiscuit.)

-Hermit Family AU :: Xisuma is very busy dad but when he isnt busy the kids and younger hermits annoying the hell out of him. Grian once asked to use Xisuma's computer and crashed the whole thing trying to download illegal gamesites and get money off the internet. Mumbo and his trains run through the entire house and Xisuma trips on them daily. (-@gamerutx.)

-College AU!! But they are not students. THEY ARE THE TEACHERS (-@ivi-prism.)

Ones I planned to do anyway but Hermitblr Hivemind and all that:

Battle of The Bands AU: i believe u once mentioned a bands/ battle of the bands au... thats my jam... (Anon.)

[ibroughtanarsenal]

jailhouse rocks (lol ok).

WHO: Roy @ibroughtanarsenal and Jason @thatsjasonfkntodd​​ WHERE: SCPD Jail WHEN: May 19th 2020 WHAT: Roy visits Jason in jail and is basically an asshole the whole time.

Jason: Jason had not actually been a hundred percent confident that Roy would come to the jail to see him, given his insistence that he was going to stay angry. Obviously he’d hoped that he would. Steph and Dick couldn’t be the only people that would show, surely. He’d sent the note back for Tim, but that didn’t mean much. He could be petty as hell.

When he got word that he had a visitor coming, he vaguely wondered if he was getting more Mad Libs. Roy was a welcome change. Jason gave him a lazy smile as soon as he saw him. “I wondered if you’d show.” Roy: "Me too." Roy still wasn't happy about the situation. He sighed and slumped in his hair, his hands in his pockets. There was a hollow look to him that didn't seem quite right. His hands were shoved in his pockets, but he could still feel them shaking. The last two days he tried several things to get his mind off the situation, but at the end of the day he knew there was only one thing that could.

He'd lost hours. Still, he made it to the jail the next day with a hoodie, not unusual for him even tough it was hot out. "Just wanted to see you. I figured you've been getting enough lectures." Jason: Jason tried not to focus on the fact that Roy looked exhausted. He knew that he wasn’t going to be happy, that the last few days had probably sucked completely. It wasn’t like Jason’s case had any kind of trajectory or timeline yet. He had no idea how long he was going to be in there or what, really, he had put himself up against. And if he didn’t know, neither did Roy.

“Yeah,” he said, the smile slipping a little, “me too.” He missed him, but that felt shitty of him to say when he was the only reason they were having to see each other in the visiting area. “And I’ve had a few. Talk to me about literally anything else.” Despite himself, Jason was looking at him harder than he wanted to. Had he slept? Roy: "Um..." There was a slower responsive time than usual. Roy wasn't being his usual rapid-fire self. Dick noticed it too, but he'd been able to convince him it was depression. He was still going to work. He was still functioning. It annoyed him that Dick insisted on giving him rides there and back as if he were a little kid. In reality, was eager to escape his scrutinizing looks. "I have a new stalker." He smirked, reaching up to idly scratch his arms as if he were restless. "Dick talks way too much." Roy did too, he sometimes talked even more, but not likely. "How's prison life?" Jason: “A new one, huh? How many have you had?” Jason didn’t bother to say that he’d asked Dick to look after Roy. There was no way for him to convey that information without it coming out the wrong way, like he thought that Roy had needed a babysitter. It wasn’t that simple but he couldn’t have explained it to him. It was easier to not mention it. “You knew that already. He dies if he stops talking.”

Jason told himself as he continued to look at him that he had to just be exhausted. Was that it? He needed that to be it. It had only been two days ahead of many. Roy: Normally Roy would have a quick and solid comeback, or make a comment about how being irresistible was a gift and a curse, but too much time passed for it to be funny and he just shrugged instead. "Pretending to be asleep doesn't even work." He saw Dick when he got off work, they hung out for a few hours and played video games. Once Roy went to bed and closed the door so he'd get the hint, Dick finally would leave. Sometimes he found him crashed on the couch in the morning, but thankfully that was rare.

"Did you ask him to keep an eye on me or something?" It wasn't that Dick didn't visit, but this was a little excessive. Jason: “I asked him to take care of my dog, so unless you’re my dog, this is just Dick being Dick.” He shouldn’t lie to him, but Roy already had enough reason to be pissed at him without feeling like Jason had put a leash on him, too. He wasn’t going to make it worse.

Jason ran his hand along the back of his neck. He probably could’ve gone the whole visit without asking, but now he had an uncomfortable question to deflect and ask, so he went with the latter. “Are you okay? You look...tired.” Roy: Roy sighed and rolled his eyes. He knew Jason was right. Still, he hated it. He didn't want Dick to see him right now, because Dick saw what he was like before. The right thing to do would be to tell him what was going on, but even though they were older now a part of him shrank away from Dick's judgment, even though he'd seen him at his worst.

"Not exactly easy to sleep when I'm worried about you every goddamn second." He was agitated and it showed, but there were plenty of reasons for it. Jason: Was it going to get harder or easier? If he was in there for a few months, was month two going to be as hard as day two or worse? He’d been doing fine, really, on his end, and seeing Steph and Dick hadn’t been that bad, but Roy looked rough and it sucked knowing it was his fault. Not only his fault, but actively his choice.

“I’m alright,” he told him, taking on a rather uncharacteristic role of the person being placating. It wasn’t like there was anything else he could do. “You don’t have to worry.” Roy: "That's bullshit and you know it." Despite the words, Roy's tone wasn't angry. He just sounded exhausted. Sad. "I have every reason to worry." It wasn't like him to turn to the negative unless he was stressed. Those were the rare moments when shared doubts and insecurities, but not everyone got to hear it.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he crossed his arms on the table. "I just want you out." Jason: “You don’t. If I didn’t think I could keep this under control, I wouldn’t have done it. Come on, Roy. I didn’t walk in here to die again.” He wasn’t taking that kind of risk, even if maybe it looked like he was, and even if once in awhile some thoughts crept in that if it happened it would just be the universe correcting itself. Mostly, he didn’t believe that anymore. Mostly. Sometimes it just removed some self preservation instincts he might have had otherwise.

He kept watching him even as Roy closed his eyes. He wanted to reach out and touch him, but of course that wasn’t an option. “...Soon. I’ll be out as soon as I can.” Roy: "Stop placating me like I'm five. You can't control anything when you're behind bars. You have no control over anything. You handed it over the second you confessed." The prosecutor had the control now and he would be deciding what to do with Jason. "You're just another cog in this whole system." Roy's lack of understanding for Jason's reasoning would normally justify some of his anger, at least on a rational level, but right now his frustration felt out of his control. He just knew he wanted Jason out of here.

He laughed softly. After being involved with Deathstroke's trial as a Titan, he knew how long trials lasted. "Yeah, see you in a year or two." Jason: Jason went quiet. He’d been arguing with everyone and been angry at everyone and he didn’t want to do it with Roy, too, especially when there wasn’t a way to see him afterward. Not on his terms, anyway. He’d expected irritation from him, but not quite the bitterness and exhaustion right at the beginning.

“I’m not going to be in here that long,” he said after a stretch of silence. He knew they didn’t have long, that he couldn’t just sit there the rest of the time, so he pressed on. “I just need you to trust me.” Roy: Roy knew immediately that he'd taken it too far. Jason's silence left his own words lingering in the air between them. He winced and leaned his forehead against the palm of his hand. "I'm sorry." What he said was shitty and he would own up to that, especially because I knew why he was on edge. It made him feel even more guilty.

This time he didn't argue with him, even though Jason asking for his trust didn't seem fair in light of an impossible circumstance. Then again, it could be that he already had a plan he couldn't talk about here. "I do trust you," he murmured softly. "I'm just... worried." Jason: “I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t think I could handle it.” He thought better of that for a second and added, “You can, too. It’s a few months and I’ll be out.” One way or another, just like he’d said. “I’m not trying to fuck this all up again.” Him and Roy. If he hadn’t believed that they could make the through the prison stint, then he might have considered longer whether or not he should do it, but he’d decided (for once) to be a little optimistic. Had that been completely misplaced? Roy: Instead of the first thing that popped into his head, Roy bit the tip of his tongue and didn't respond. He knew Jason couldn't just handle the court system, but if he intended not to go through any of that at all, then he couldn't exactly explain that here. "Depends on the trial. You know how they drag things out. Deathstroke sure as hell isn't taking a plea." That ramped up the amount of time it would take. Roy knew this dance. "You didn't fuck it up, I'm just not going to jump up and down for joy that you're behind bars." Jason: “I’m just a couple of days into this. If I don’t know how it’s going to go, you don’t either.” And Jason was stubbornly stuck on the idea that it was going to work the way he envisioned it. If it didn’t, what recourse did he have? “I’m not asking you to jump for joy, I’m just...” he ran his tongue out between his lips and looked away from him for a few seconds. “Nevermind. I’m alright. I’m going to come out on the other side of this.” Roy: Roy wasn’t discounting Jason’s point of view entirely, but the situation was looking pretty grim. Regardless, he didn’t come here to fight or make him feel worse. There was nothing to be done about it now and he took a breath. “I’ll still be here when you do. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’d just rather it be sooner rather than later.” Jason: “Me too.” They could at least agree on that point. Jason was giving Gordon and the lawyers what they wanted as quickly as he could do it, but he had no way to move anything beyond that. He hoped that with enough in rapid succession, the rest of the process would happen quickly, too. Maybe he’d be proved wrong, but they weren’t far enough in to know that yet.

Whatever light heartedness that he’d started the visit with had faded by then. “Take care of yourself until I get out of here, okay?” Was there a reason that Dick had been sticking to him like glue, judging by how Roy talked?

They didn’t have much longer before the buzzer. The visit felt shorter than it had with Steph, but maybe that was just because it had been heavier than he was expecting. “I love you,” he said  in that last space of time. The words still felt a little unnatural but not wrong. He just wasn’t thrilled to be saying them in that position. Roy: “Doubt you’re going anywhere any time soon,” Roy said wryly, but he didn’t sound angry. He’d already added himself to the list of callers. Apparently that took a day to get approved, but still, it wasn’t as if they wouldn’t talk. Being without Jason after they’d just reconnected was hardly ideal, but he’d also been without him for years. It wasn’t as if his feelings were changing any time soon.

He tried to smile, but the effort fell flat. For once he wasn’t in the mood to joke. “Roy Careful Harper.” It was what Jason said when he told him the same thing. An answer, but not.

Fuck, that buzzer. Something in his expression wavered when Jason said he loved him and Roy leaned forward, his hand moving to the bars that separated them. “I love you too. And I’m on your call list now, so keep me up to date on all the crazy shit that goes on in here. Nothing like a little jailhouse drama.”

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 3 - The “Death” of Avalanche (Ch 12-14)

Seeing an extended version of the Avalanche members’ dying is going to be terrible. I think the fact that Wedge calls Cloud “aniki” is so cute, so it’ll be sad that this is the last time we’ll hear it. My heart kinda broke for Biggs tbh. Seeing him entrust the future to Cloud, and for him to think about the Leaf House orphanage kids even during his dying moments was saddening. I remember being so surprised at Ms Folia (the orphanage teacher + Honeybee dancer) saying that the one who taught her everything and inspired her to be who she is was Biggs. I knew he had a big heart and cared for everyone, but it was nice that they added in all these other little things about him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle Jessie’s death tbh. It’s going to be heartbreaking!! 

Aerith going to save Marlene is something I looked forward to seeing, and I think it showed really well how gentle of a heart Aerith has, and how self sacrificing she is. Especially when she encouraged Wedge to not give up and allow himself to have regrets for not doing more. I like that the Shinra soldier Wedge passionately convinced into opening the gates to leave Sector 7 for everyone to escape was the newbie soldier that was kinda in training and couldn’t be mean to anyone (when you talked to him before this). It’s understandable that he would be the one to go against orders. Nice to see Tseng! He looks pretty good. On the other hand, Rude interfering with Reno so that his gun would miss Tifa was hilarious. I love that they kept the idea that Rude likes Tifa, I guess they’ll be keeping the idea that Tseng likes Aerith too then! Elena liking Tseng is something expected though since it’s a big part of her character imo haha. Btw, I’m glad that Reno recognised how tasteless it was to have to do the pretend act that this whole destroying Sector 7 thing was done by Avalanche. Anyway, Aerith convincing Marlene to come out and leave with her was adorable~

It was hard to see Jessie go again, especially when she talked about how she kinda “deserved” it considering the amount of people she killed with her bombs, which was something that always stuck with me in the dialogue of the original. Despite Jessie’s hopes for the future and everything, she knew what what she was doing involved the deaths of a lot of people, innocent and guilty alike, she always felt terrible about it, but she wasn’t as soft as Tifa to think about giving up on it. She took those burdens with her to achieve what she needed to, so it’s heartbreaking that she had to die thinking that. It was saddening yet cute when Cloud said Jessie owed him a pizza, so she can’t die haha. It’s too bad that it’ll never happen. Sometimes I wonder if the reason they all like pizza is because of how Barret refers to the plates above them as a “pizza”, so they like to eat them up hahahaha, nah just kidding, pizza is good, everyone loves pizza.Seeing Reno and Rude tag team fight was so cool! I loved how Reno still had that skill that puts you into the triangle barrier to kinda immobilise you. Otherwise, Reno is so difficult for me to handle lolll, I suck fighting against him. And Rude hits Tifa when you control her!! Although he kinda just does a light chop to her, not sure if it’s specific to her but it was kinda cute lol because it honestly seemed like he was taking it easy against her compared to other battles when we faced him. Seriously though, I think it’s so annoying how those “ghosts” always interfere at crucial moments, it’s like, it wasn’t in the original game and it’s honestly unneeded here. The truth is that Cloud and them were unable to stop the plate from falling regardless of whether those ghosts were there or not, it’s annoying to make it seem like they could have stopped Rude if they weren’t there, when in reality, it shows (in the original) a much crueller way of looking at things when you try your best but you’re still too late. We don’t need no supernatural phenomenon to make it seem like it’s at fault and that’s why Cloud and them failed! Yes, I rolled my eyes when they appeared because at this point, I’ll admit that I’m sick of them. It’s like how they ruined Aerith and Cloud’s first meeting with them! I only wanted sweetness and curiosity towards a flower girl, not mystery with these supernatural things I don’t care about! Sigh! 

Anyway, seeing Tifa and Barret broken over not being able to save their home and its people was saddening. Maybe it’s nostalgia or whatever, but I think it hit me harder in the original though. Btw, it’s kinda funny but understandable that instead of Tseng flying near the explosion to kinda show that they’ve captured Aerith etc, Tseng tells them through the screen haha. Gotta protect the Ancient! Oh, and Sephiroth honestly appears way too much, I honestly don’t remember him being so apparent, I know they’re really just the numbered black robe guys, but I feel like back then it was mostly just Cloud feeling the effects of something, but not being very clear on what it is. Now we’re just stuck with an overbearing Sephiroth zzz, yes there’s such a thing as too much Sephiroth. I guess it’s nice that it kinda explicitly tells you through them that Sephiroth thinks/believes/insists he’s got Ancients’ blood running through him, so he’s the rightful ruler of the planet though. Really though, with the plate falling, you can really understand the helplessness and fear of the people under the plates (through the NPCs talking in the background), it’s like, wow, they can actually fall and destroy everyone?! It kinda shows that regardless of how great Shinra is in giving people “better lives”, Shinra is also essentially in control of their lives. Oh yeah!! And Cait Sith!! Did not expect to see him! It felt weird without his white doll (since I used to think the white doll was him until I realised there was a cat on top lmao), but it was nice to see how *spoilers* Reeve tried to do something about Sector 7 in both forms. Seeing Cait Sith devastated at the sight was pretty saddening. But I have to admit, imagining Reeve controlling it and making it fall to the ground is funny yet interesting loll.

Omg, how old is Tseng?! Aerith is like this little kid and he’s an adult already?! I never realised there was such a big age difference.. Anyway, kid Aerith is adorable. Elmyra’s story is always saddening to hear, but I think the original showed it a bit better, mainly the train station part. I remember in the original, you could really feel the sadness of Elmyra through the contrasted happiness of the people beside her at the train station who were overjoyed at seeing the people they were waiting for come home to them. And it slowly shows how nearly everyone who was waiting there was able to reunite with their loved ones, everyone except her who waited every day there. I feel like she even asked the train station attendant if there were any more trains or people too. Her taking in Aerith healed her and herself, so honestly, I’ve always been happy that they both had each other to lean on for so many years. But yeah, otherwise, seeing Ifalna (HD) and everything was nice. It’s interesting that Aerith needs to be willing to go to them in order to help with their quest in finding the Promised Land, because how exactly do you make her willing?? Hahaha. I mean, she just did it for Marlene so she’s not exactly “willing”. It’s so weird that they didn’t bother adding the line where Barret asks Elmyra to take care of Marlene for him. It’s like, you can’t make him a “caring dad” and not even say something like that before he leaves lol! It’s important!

Okay, I’m glad Wedge is alive, but at the same time, I have mixed feelings towards it haha. It’s nice though, gives Cloud and them more hope I guess. We should all thank cats, they save lives apparently~ On the other hand, Aerith appearing in Cloud’s dream was…very interesting. Like, it was nice, but at the same time weird loll. Especially when she told him that if they seemed like they were attracted to each other romantically, it probably wasn’t real. I honestly didn’t need that, especially when I feel like the Tifa fanservice coupling is everywhere and more apparent than with Aerith imo. I felt like the romance with Tifa was more vague in the beginning for the original. Anyway, Cloud was right, Aerith can’t just one-sidedly say all that and just leave, he should have his say too, especially since these are his feelings! And tbh, although Tifa and Cloud are super comfortable with each other and rely on each other, I feel like a lot of the times, they feel like trustworthy friends more in the remake imo. I think what solidifies (for me) how much Cloud cherishes Aerith was when he said he’d take her home again (lmao) after she showed him the way to Sector 7, enough concern over her safety with Don Corneo that he would cross dress, and his reaction when Aerith shows up with the extravagant red dress. He was so stunned at how beautiful she was! To be fair though, I was pretty stunned too, until I realised I better take screenshots lmao. Overall though, Cloud is constantly saving and taking care of all the girls, it’s kinda crazy. Like, I know he may be Prince Charming but c'mon! Only Tifa gets to be cool whereas the other girls get saved wayyyy too much whether it be from random falls or whatever. I also feel like Elmyra stopping them from going to save Aerith felt more like an unnecessary plot delay to squish in the Wedge part, but oh well lol, time for Shinra building time! Can’t wait to see Red XIII!

Or not, I’m stuck doing side quests lmao. Those pull ups were more annoying than squats zzzz, but they were okay I guess. Didn’t take that long to win the pro. The most annoying thing was that letting the pull up timer go on (when I obviously failed) was faster than the stupid loading screen when I press give up lol. Mireille being the Angel of the Slums was expected I guess, although I was never curious anyway haha. Kyrie is kinda cute but annoying lol. Kinda sad that I don’t actually get to ride on a Chocobo though….like I found all those lost chocobo and yet I don’t actually get to ride them? T_T Wow, I can’t believe the behemoth horn was used for medicine!! What kind of medicine are they making??! It was a hassle to kill that guy! Lmao tonberry is as cute and deadly as it usually is! Kept stabbing me lol! I know I could have probably thrown magic at it, but I thought it was hilarious to see it stab me lmao. The Colosseum battles were pretty easy, I was kinda worried but all good! Whack-a-box was super easy for the hard mode btw! I was like ohh noo when I saw hard mode thinking it’ll take me a while like the pull ups but dang, third time was the charm! Smashed it!🥰 Hmm, pedometer materia was interesting…lol, super easy to get the 5000 steps since I had to look for those annoying chocobos, but yeah I guess it was worth it! AP Up would be useful. I’m glad the side quests didn’t take too long because I really started considering just dropping them lol.

I’m glad they delved more into Leslie’s backstory, but I guess it was expected since he was the only pretty boy out of all the lackeys lmao. I found Leslie really endearing though, mainly because of his looks and how kind he was to keep warning Cloud and Aerith that they shouldn’t go to the audition haha. It’s saddening that his fiancee was chosen by Corneo and now she has disappeared. I kinda liked how his story interlinked with Cloud and Aerith though. Tifa told Leslie that the flower pendant his fiancee gave back to him before she left meant “we’ll meet again” in flower language, and that’s the flower Aerith gave Cloud, so it’s nice to see how Cloud linked that, and sorta renewed his resolve into finding her asap. It’s nice to know that rather than focusing on finding Corneo to exact his revenge, Leslie is now instead looking for the girl. Good that he’s got his priorities straight. She’s much more important than revenge! Hope we get to see him actually find her in the later parts or something~

Overall, not much to say about these few chapters. I think the running up the stairs/pillar part to save Sector 7 + Wedge, Biggs and Jessie were pretty faithfully done, and it was done pretty nicely too. It felt just as annoying with the monsters/soldiers, whilst being just as saddening with seeing the death of the Avalanche members lol. My only gripe with it was the Whispers popping up ruining the whole mood of the event, it really made it seem like Cloud and them could have changed the outcome that ended up happening but was stopped for “reasons” beyond their control, so they shouldn’t feel too bad about it kinda thing, it just changes the whole “feel” of it. Anyway, the changes with Wedge being alive and the “dream” with Aerith are things I have mixed feelings about. Wedge being alive really, as I kinda said before with the pillar, it changes the mood and atmosphere of everything. Like, it’s not terrible, but what solidified a lot of my feelings towards Avalanche and the dropping of the plate in the original was done with the impact of the deaths of our Avalanche members because they’re the main people we’re familiar with. Anyway, gotta love how (aside from Biggs and Jessie) a lot of the people we’ve seen are alive and well, and lol even the item shop etc people have good stock! Kinda miss the days in the original or in other older JRPGs where shops would follow the story and be lacking in supplies or whatever during times of disaster etc. Anyway, that’s just me being picky as usual lol. And yes, I’m starting to see how A LOT of the scenes involve Cloud and the others saving each other, mainly Cloud saving all the girls, and it’s nice but honestly overdone considering the amount of scenes where it happens. This time around, the changes (from the original) are half half to me, not better, but not exactly terrible I guess. Anyway, now that I’m going through this and reading my thoughts again, this was probably the point when I started thinking about whether I liked the remake for what it is or was I really just banking in on the hype and nostalgia of a favourite game? Honestly, it’s mainly the latter (sadly).

[sobdasha]

"I definitely updated my list of books I was reading on tumblr so it's all good" -me, a lying liar, right before spending several months finishing my reread of All The Discworld Books I Own But In Chronological Order For The First Time Ever Which In Fact Makes A Difference.

(and then I did it again after the libraries closed)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin Hm, so. I definitely read this. At some point. It was not really for me, not bad, but not really for me. This particular edition had various notes before and after the text, all of which I read, which made it an experience I got more out of. It's important for me to know that the author is aware that the protagonist is a raging misogynist who's stupid, and yes this was on purpose so you'd realize how really incredibly stupid he is and thus maybe be tricked into changing your mind yourself. It is a legit tactic, but one I tend not to enjoy, so if I hadn't been forewarned I'd have been UUUUGGGGGHHHH MAKE HIM SHUT UP ALREADY and probably rage-quit. As it was, I was able to better appreciate what Le Guin was doing here, even if this book didn't win a place in my heart and I probably won't reread. I definitely preferred Ancillary Justice's take, with the feminine pronouns. For my brain, masculine pronouns = they might as well all be men = business as usual = I didn't really get any gender queering from it. I can't really remember much else now. Oh, it was also part "survival in the wilderness" story, which they're big on making you read in school (which I find very suspicious), and which I tolerated and read a few classic ones on my own until they kept assigning these kinds of stories for us to read and now I get nothing from them and mindlessly hate them. Anyway, as I said, not bad at all but not really for me.

Lavinia, Ursula K. Le Guin This one's a reread--I picked it up from the library during college because we were doing Titus Andronicus in class and it didn't occur to me that there might be more than one Lavinia???? But hey it worked out because later in college we did the Aeneid and then I had Background for rereading Lavinia. This is the book that is lyrical and beautiful and pulls me in and makes me care deeply about the world and the characters. This is the book of Le Guin's that makes me feel the way everyone else feels about Earthsea and The Left Hand of Darkness and etc. I would like to find more of Le Guin's work that makes me feel the same way, because as I've said you can really tell from her other stuff that she's a solid writer who knows her stuff. I just…don't enjoy any of the other things. Anyway I recommend. I always forget about this book, and then when I reread I'm like "wow why don't I read this more often?????"

How Long 'Til Black Future Month?, N. K. Jemisin I liked every story in this short story collection. I should just reread it and try writing this up again tbh but also tbh I'll probably do the rereading and then just not write anything up again. Just read Jemisin's stuff I love her writing so much okay. ETA: that’s exactly what I did, I reread this during my covid rereads and said “I should do a proper write-up this time” and lo and behold where is it

Tehanu, Ursula K. Le Guin Okay, this last Earthsea book treated me much better than the others. It's probably not for everyone else, which might be why it's for me. It's much more domestic, much less "plot" happening, full of introspection, and centered on women rather than men. This novel acknowledges and confronts the rampant internalized misogyny in the previous three books, engages it in a way that the misandrist in me finds satisfying even though it never comes to a good solution for the problem. This book is more like a reflection. Earthsea has never been about "light is always good, dark is always bad; be a hero, fight evil" etc. But this one I think shifts the tone a little farther; it's less about balance, and more...I guess I'd put it as, "actions have consequences." It's not concerned with right or wrong, it's concerned with people getting hurt. It's pretty somber and serious, without any humor to balance it out, tons of bad things happen to people, lots of PTSD...but this time I really cared about the characters, and I feel like it was all handled really well? In addition to critiquing internalized misogyny, it also critiqued victim blaming. Seemed like it handled disability pretty well too--was honest about how people are jerks about it in reality, while still being optimistic and treating Therru as valuable; made occasional mentions of considering work-arounds for having only one fully-functional hand, while mostly just having Therru go about living and doing chores and being capable and assuming she did find those work-arounds without having to draw attention to it; and Therru's terrible scars didn't get magically healed at the end, the whole book makes a point all the way through that her physical scars will always be with her the same way her emotional scars will be, and she's simply learned how to go on living with them. Tehanu: a book full of trauma happening to people, where what would normally be the plot in a fantasy novel ended up not even getting started to be resolved, but Le Guin's writing and handling of the subject matter helped heal my jaded soul.

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee A quick summary of my experience: Chapter 1 - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is going on what even Chapter 2 - no, no this is just, this is what sci fi is like, right? Just give it a few chapters and then by the end of the book everything will probably make sense. I'm sure that's how it works. Remember how even in Ancillary Justice I ended up with two separate Battles of Valskay, but now everything is fine??? It's. Fine. Chapter 4 - (ohhhhhhh I still don't know what's going on) Several Chapters Later - still no clue what's going on, but hit my stride with the terminology, my foreign language instinct kicked in where words stopped sounding weird and while I could not for the life of me define any terms for you, I had a vague comprehension of how the words operated In Context. Sort of. And by then I had, without realizing it, begun page-turning and binging, so I guess I liked the book lol! Another serious-but-not-funny one, but with an extra dose of War Memoir and all the gruesomeness that entails (but probably, like any good War Memoir, probably not actually gratuitous and actually in fact the necessary amount of gruesome). Jedao was turned into a woobie at the last minute and, well, damn, guy knows the way to my heart. The novel apparently gripped me enough that I don't even mind that it only came into play at the very end of the game. And hey, there's two more novels to deal with that revelation, which I have picked up from the library to read immediately! Yay! Current personal theory: based on the heavy math references that made me want to cry at the start, but the almost entire absence of actual numbers, and a reference to "there's no way actual physics works like that, it was obviously a calendrical effect" or something…I'm going to throw out a wild guess that the calendar stuff (and all the social structuring that goes with it) is so that they can break and reinvent math. So they can effect a universe where 2+2=5 and therefore a bunch of people standing in this exact position makes a force field or bullets of rose thorns or whatever and some other dude can make himself immortal. This sounded like a pretty terrible theory already and it sounds even worse now I've typed it up but oh well.

Raven Stratagems, Yoon Ha Lee Guess who didn't write this up back when she read it!!! Also, I returned Ninefox Gambit to the library right before the libraries shut down for covid. So, I had Raven and Revenant on hand for months but I didn't have Ninefox on hand to do an immediate reread to see if that made the sci fi make more sense. (It probably wouldn't have, but I would have liked to do a rereading while the ending was still fresh.) By this time there is a lesser degree of visceral viscera. Lee is brutal, however, about continuing to be honest about what war costs and whether war is worth that cost (which depends, really, on whose lives you think matter. Very relevant for these times. Very much prepared me to shut up and not whine about the inconveniences of protests and their fallout. There is no pretty and clean way to have a revolution, since it involves destroying a particular [terrible] way of life, so we're all just gonna have to sacrifice together). Also I think by this point all the character development from the first novel paid off in the form of character dynamics being hilarious now despite, y’know, the gruesome shadow of war.

Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee Continues to discuss the honest price of war and the messiness of fallout. Shuos "The risks I took were calculated, but boy am I bad at math" Jedao. Oh I think this is also the one where every so often one of the characters thinks, "Okay so this person is a tyrannical murderous dictator but he is ensuring that there will never again be food shortages and no one in the space empire ever goes hungry." And then Lee turns around and is like, "Haha but don't forget this same person invented a form of vital infrastructural technology (and also immortality) that is optionally based off ritual human torture sacrifice. Like he didn't have to do that to make it work. He just decided to anyway. And that's always bad :) " (Also useful in our current climate of "Okay but we should consider the other person's circumstances and point of view" and also "Yeah but that doesn't apply if they're literally Nazis tho.")

Hexarchate Stories, Yoon Ha Lee A collection of short stories set in the universe of those three books. There's one story at the end that does satisfy the "But I wanted another sequel!!!" urge. And there's a bit of backstory for Jedao and Cheris. But by and large what you should be in the mood to read is flash fiction snippets that simply happen to be set in the same universe but have no bearing on the plot. Which is pretty cool and interesting if you are in the proper mindset! Even better, Lee includes author's notes at the end of each story to talk about the story, or the influences, or the context of his life at the time, etc etc. That is always my absolute favorite part of a short story collection. Also these notes told me everything I needed to know about why I liked certain things about his writing. "I wanted to write my own AUs," "If I get stuck I go on TV Tropes," "My only regret is that I had to cut the scene where Jedao goes to ~Halloween~ dressed as himself and trolls people" ahhhh that's also a regret I share.

Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee This one is YA! There is a lot less gore although I guess there was still genocide! Read this when you are in the mood for something that doesn't attempt to hide the fact that the plot is completely, conveniently contrived to give you fast-paced action and fun. Min sure has a lot of coincidental meetings that should stretch my disbelief but I don't care. Also, I am enjoying reading books with girls as protagonists that do what I'm tired of being told to love about boy protagonists--just keep barreling along with complete self-assurance that you are right and, if you run into trouble, you can egotistically figure your way out.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin Gods and mortal ruling family's messy soap opera sexcapades is not exactly my favorite genre, but luckily it is handled by Jemisin so it's all good. Lots of Souma Family Values. I'm really appreciating how Jemisin considers choice of narrator very carefully and uses it to brilliant effect in this trilogy. Stories are things told by a narrator to an audience; why should we rely on the artifice of an "impartial" "reliable" "omniscient" 3rd person narrator writing into the void? This trilogy was Jemisin's first, I believe, so it's a little awkward coming back to them now, only because Jemisin is such a powerful writer that the themes she's begun working with here have only gotten stronger with each successive work.

The Broken Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin This one I rated as I read for Protagonist Is Blind based on the scale of a sighted person going "but some of my best friends are blind!" In that regard, I think the book does really well! Blindness doesn't define Oree's life and value; Oree doesn't get magical powers that make her a blind person who isn't really blind; Oree moves away from home and gets a job and lives on her own which seems very accurate to me based on my knowledge of one (1) person who is blind; instead of being ~cured~, Oree actually gets more blind at the end of the story and this is considered a Good Ending. Also personal bonus points are awarded for references to her stick being handy for hitting people with. Some stuff was stereotypical, but Jemisin's intent was not. A+, will read again, please support including way more characters who are blind in media. Anyway I enjoyed this one.

The Kingdom of Gods, N. K. Jemisin First off, Jemisin directly up front critiques the narration choices she made in the first two books and then pays it off like a boss at the end. Like holy crap. I admit by now I was getting a bit bored of the genre, but the book was still very engaging because Jemisin is a master. It may also have been affected by how much increasing pain I've been in lately.

The Awakened Kingdom, N. K. Jemisin I'm dead. This one was way more my speed and you need the other three books to understand this novella but ohhhh my god it's perfect. I read a lot of choice passages of this aloud to my roommate because how could you resist. It's still heavy but it's hilarious. Bless Shill.

[bae-leth]

I had a bunch more stuff I wanted to say about Faris and Natalia’s relationship in the Fraldarddyd family AU but I thought it would be easier on everyone to put all my thoughts in one submissions instead of sending a dozen asks this time. Also, lol, I can’t believe I keep coincidentally giving these characters the names of your relatives, what the heck???

Let’s just go over Faris first. He’s a friendly and social guy. He’s obsessed with the stars and can talk about them for hours if given the chance. He’s a smart guy and super politically savvy, perfectly at home in even the most cutthroat political climates. He’s known to be very mischievous and prone to pranks, though the less he likes you then the harsher his pranks can be. He and Natalia are the same age but he’s a couple months younger, which she loves to hold over him especially after he grows taller than her. He and Zain are pretty close despite Zain loving to give his little brother shit whenever possible. I see him being magically gifted, so I imagine him as a Warlock. I see him mainly taking after Claude in terms of looks (I don’t really have a spouse in mind for Claude in this AU so I’m leaving that part kinda vague).

Strengths – Reason, Authority; Weaknesses – Axe, Brawl, Heavy Armor; Budding Talent - Lance

Zain is two years older than Faris and basically anyone who meets him considers him a stern and serious no-nonsense kind of crown prince. This is how he’s like around most people. However he allows himself to relax and show off a much more playful, emotional, teasing side around people he trusts wholeheartedly (his immediate family and a small handful of friends). He resembles his brother in having the same eye color and skin tone, but Zain looks much more rugged and mature. Unlike Faris he is perfectly at home on the battlefield, being a renowned Sniper with plenty of victories to his name. He never became a Barbarossa like his dad cause he’s scared of heights. He enjoys the ocean a ton, so he’s always up for ocean voyages and will take any and every chance to explore coastlines.

Strengths - Bow, Axe, Authority; Weaknesses – Faith, Flying; Budding Talent - Riding

The whole engagement thing between Faris and Natalia is largely unofficial and both sides mainly just want their kids to become close to promote good relations between Fodlan and Almyra. Although things would really work out the best if the pair did become romantically involved but no one is really pushy about it. Especially since Faris and Natalia just do NOT like each other. Honestly the only thing stopping the first meeting between the royal children from being a complete disaster is that both Faris and Zain quickly become attached to Artemis (prince of stealing hearts without even trying). Faris and Artemis latch onto each other since they have so much in common (second princes, good at magic, similar weaknesses, bookworms, etc) while Zain ends up considering Artemis like another little brother while Artemis really look up to Zain (it’s thanks to Zain that Artemis’ budding talent is bows). Also Zain actually ends up being friendly with Natalia too (he likes her strong, honest personality and honestly he finds the disaster that is hers and Faris’ relationship hilarious, plus she thinks he’s super cool and likes sparring with him). So it’s literally just Natalia and Faris at odds with each other.

“If you like Artemis so much, why don’t you marry him instead?!” “Maybe I will!” “Fine!” “Fine!” “FINE!” “FINE!!!” *Zain and Artemis in the background, talking about their favorite desserts and not getting involved in their siblings’ fight*

“Claude I’m starting to doubt if this will work out. The two of them hate each other.” “Well Felix hated you plenty for a few years and look at you now. Adorable little lovebirds, a love story perfect for the bards to sing of!” “Listen here you little-” “Felix please.”

In order to try and help Natalia and Faris get along they’re both sent to visit each other’s homeland a bunch over the years. Occasionally the whole family goes but the rulers can’t keep running off all the time. So most of the time it’s Natalia (and Artemis because Natalia barricaded herself in her room until her dads agreed to let her take Artemis along “to see that stupid Faris’ face”) visiting Almyra for several weeks and then a little while later it’s Faris visiting Fodlan, particularly Faerghus, for several weeks (only bringing Zain when he’s in a particularly bad mood thanks to Natalia since Zain keeps making fun of him otherwise).

Faris is kinda sorta okay when he’s in Faerghus, even though it’s absurdly cold most of the time. Hell, every time he thinks he’s wearing enough the weather proves him wrong. Natalia keeps laughing at him when he has to dress up like a marshmallow in order to go out in Faerghus winters. Natalia is very brutal in snowball fights…RIP Faris. He definitely prefers to stay inside by the fireplace, though Natalia is insistent on dragging him outside. It usually ends in him spending the last few days of his stay sick in bed.

Natalia, like Dimitri, is dead in heat so every time she goes to Almyra she spends around a week just laying on her bed wearing as little as proper manners will allow. Faris alternates between “helping” by practicing his ice magic on her or otherwise relying on her need to do better than him to goad her into playing with him. Though he had to lay off on that after Natalia got heatstroke once.

Natalia considers it a personal insult that her beloved horse absolutely adores Faris when he’s usually very picky about who he allows near him (“Ares, how could you do this to me?!” *neighs* “Oh don’t give me that attitude young man!”)

Faris, in the meanwhile, is not pleased by how his retainers-in-the-making are absolutely smitten with Natalia (“Did you see her in yesterday’s spar with the new recruits? She could break my spine and I’d thank her.” “Please, sweet embrace of death, come for me.”)

Artemis and Zain start being regular pen pals as they compare archery notes, seek advice from one prince to another, talk about recent events in their homeland and in their lives, and complain about their siblings/commentate on whether or not they’ll get together.

“I don’t know, Zain, after that incident with the birds Sister said, and I quote, ‘The next time I see that scrawny piece of *ahem* garbage, he’s dead. Almyra will be down a prince and they’ll be all the better for it.’ So I’m saying no.” “I’d agree with you, especially since Faris has been disturbingly interested in researching dark magic after eating those ‘super special Faerghus delicacies’ Natalia brought last time. But for as social as he is my brother is normally never so obsessed with anyone, so I think we may have a romance for the ages on our hands, my friend!”

The two of them play PLENTY of stupid pranks on each other over the years. Sometimes they flat out got into physical fights with each other. The people of Fodlan and Almyra have long since gotten used to the sound of Faris and Natalia yelling at each other and then the sound of crashing and punching.

That being said, not everything was bad between them. That one time Natalia got heatstroke, Faris was genuinely apologetic and worried about her and kept her company while she was bedridden. Likewise Natalia does feel bad when she keeps getting Faris sick while trying to show off Faerghus to him and will read him adventure stories to pass the time. Also I love the idea you mentioned of Faris trying to help Natalia get over her low spice intolerance (to mixed results, Natalia’s just glad she no longer downs an entire pitcher of water on her own after eating Almyran food). One time when a Faerghus noble child made a snide remark about Faris being Almyran, Natalia tackled the brat to the ground.

Faris, holding a tissue to Natalia’s bloody nose: “I thought you didn’t like me.” Natalia, very obviously confused: “??? What does not liking you have to do with you being Almyran?” Faris: “Heh, I suppose you’re right for once.”

“Zain, I think I want to change my opinion. Sister and Faris may have more of a chance than I originally thought.” “What did I tell you, Artemis? Romance for the ages…”

As the years pass and Natalia and Faris both grow and mature and mellow out, the two of them start to consider each other friends. They speak more, debate more, discuss their interests more, and slowly start to enjoy spending time together. Eventually it gets to the point where the two of them joke around about their kinda sorta engagement to each other. Natalia singing the absolute worst love songs while Faris writes the cheesiest poetry and love letters imaginable. Calling each other cutesy pet names, those kind of shenanigans.

Honestly, they mostly do it just to fuck with poor Zain and Artemis, who didn’t ask for this bullshit but are stuck with it anyways.

“Artemis, I need you to kill me, I can’t tolerate them anymore.” “Come now, Zain, it’s not so bad! Hey, why don’t we go for a ride on Altena? That always calms me down!” “I cannot stress enough how much I would rather die than do that…” “What are you trying to say about my sweet Altena, huh?” “Would you stop taking it as an insult against your wyvern every time?!”

Natalia starts teaching Faris about fighting with lances. And Faris helps Natalia grow more used to handling politics.

Honestly, there was something special growing between them for quite some time after they started getting along better, but neither of them really recognized what it could be. But they kept getting closer and closer as time passed. At public events they stuck by each other’s side and often danced together. They were seen going off on rides together or just taking walks while talking.

Faris is the first one to recognize his feelings when he comes along to help Natalia out with a skirmish. The pair make a great team in battle, covering for each other’s weaknesses well. Faris, too exhausted after a large number of enemies surrounded him, is almost taken down from behind when Natalia saves him. His joke has a fair amount of relief and gratitude in it when he says “Thanks for the help, sweetheart!” But WOW when Natalia turns to him with the most dazzling smile on her face, looking like she practically glowing with the sun behind her, Faris feels like his heart stops. “Anytime, honey!” And Faris just keeps staring after her as she rushes off after another enemy.

Natalia was always pretty but Faris has never actually acknowledged how pretty until that moment. And his heart won’t stop racing, her smile and voice still in his head. And oh fuck, oh shit, he knows exactly what this is…

“Zain, you umm…you wouldn’t happen to know when the next visit to Fodlan is, would you?” “…Why do you ask, my dear little brother? :))))))” “…Are you going to tell Arty about this?” *Zain, pulling out a piece of parchment and quill* “What gives you that idea????”

Faris regrets everything when his parents and brother don’t let him live it down that he’s now realized he’s in love with Natalia. “Whatever happened to ‘I’d rather become a hermit and die alone and unloved on a barren mountain than ever marry her’ Faris? Seven-year-old you was soooo dramatic!” “Father, please.”

Things don’t change too significantly after Faris’ realization. But there are changes. He’s noticeably softer around Natalia, smiling gently around her or going along with her wishes more easily. Most of his pranks towards her tone down to being things that give her pleasant surprises. The most significant change comes from the love letters and poems purposefully written badly for jokes slowly becoming more sincere sounding and really sweet.

Natalia doesn’t know what to make of the changes. They’re odd but she’s more surprised by how much she enjoys it. She even reads Faris’ letters and poems over and over well into the night. A warm and peaceful feeling spreads through her every time she gets a new letter from Faris or he holds her closer than usual during a dance.

She doesn’t realize it’s love until sometime later when she visits Almyra. Faris is so bright and excited as he drags her outside in the dead of night because the skies are so clear that you can see way more stars than normal and it’s soooo beautiful. Faris happily explains the stories behind all the different constellations and laughs so happily recalling some of his favorite tales. Natalia stares and stares at him and thinks that she could watch him smile and laugh like that forever. At some point Faris starts holding her hands and pulls her close to him as he keeps pointing out constellations and telling her stories. And Natalia tries so hard to concentrate on his words but all she can focus on is his hands and how warm they are and so much bigger than hers and how she wants him to keep holding her and-Oh. Ooohhhh…Oh fuck…

“So, Sister, you enjoyed your last visit to Almyra a lot, didn’t you?” “Hmm? What gave that away, Artemis?” *Natalia, lying on her bed surrounded by all of Faris’ letters and poems to her, giggling to herself as she reads them* “…Just a hunch.”

“Felix, it seems Claude was right. He tells me Faris is rather obviously smitten. And it’s easy to tell Natalia is in love. While I’m sad at how quickly the children are growing up, it’s wonderful to see them so happy, isn’t it?” “Uh-huh yeah sure, do you think this blade is sharp enough or should I take it back to the blacksmith? I want it ready before the Almyrans come visit next month.” “…Why are you-?” “You know damn well why.” “Felix.”

“Well it seems you and I will get to call each other ‘brother’ soon enough, Artemis! Or well, hopefully soon enough. It depends on how long it takes our stubborn siblings to take those final steps.” “Agreed. But I’ve already thought of you as my brother for a long time now, Zain. We’ve known each other for so many years! Your one of my dearest friends and my brother in all but blood. :)” “…” “??? Zain, are you crying-?” “*sobs* NO, I’m not!”

[snowstories]

Cracks in Concrete

Fandom: Mob Psycho 100

Wordcount: 4285

Warnings: a panic attack, general mental health issues, canon-typical use of cults (albeit it with minor implications that the Psycho Helmet Cult had more negative influences on its users than portrayed in canon). 

Summary: Character study/character development fic of Mezato, and how she grows up after the Divine Tree Arc. 

Notes: Mezato has ADHD in this fic, because I’m ADHD and I love her. 

///

Mezato woke up in the middle of the street, and around her, a crowd of people did the same. They blinked, stumbled, clutched their head as they looked around in confusion, a cacophony of voices asking each other what had happened, how they’d gotten here. Among the crowd there were members of the Psycho Helmet C ult she recognized, but also classmates, acquaintances, and many, many strangers; it was as if the entire town had simultaneously flowed into the streets for some kind of parade, only to then forget who’d organized the event in the first place.

The ground shook, someone screamed, and then, the Divine Tree was floating. It raised itself up from the earth and towards the sky, following a flock of birds towards the horizon. Still in a daze, Mezato raised her camera to snap a picture, only to find her fingers wouldn’t move.

“It must be Lord Psycho Helmet,” Eiji muttered next to her, wonder in his eyes as he looked up towards the flying broccoli.

Mezato didn’t answer. She simply watched as the Tree disappeared from view.

///

The only thing the News Club would talk about was the Divine Tree, and the mass amnesia the city had experienced. As a matter of fact, it was the only thing any kind of news outlet would talk about, even as the citizens of Seasoning City slowly began to accept and forget it, as they always did when something strange occurred.

“The disappearance of the Divine Tree was most peculiar, yes,” said the news anchor. “But for many people, the most distressing part was finding themselves on the streets with no memory of how they’d gotten there. Of the theories proposed, mass hypnosis seems to have the most credibility, but it’s likely we will never find an answer to the question of what happened that fateful day the Divine Tree uprooted itself.”

Forums on the internet were dedicated to answering that question. What was left of the Psycho Helmet Cult was convinced that it was their Lord who’d done it. They might be right. If anyone was capable of pulling off a stunt like this, it was Mob.

But whenever she thought about it, tried to figure out an answer herself, she got nauseous, and something settled heavily into her chest, an emotion she hadn’t felt in years.

Somehow, Mezato thought that all this might’ve been her fault.

///

Her phone rang and rang, but when she kept ignoring it, eventually, Eiji stopped calling. She should’ve picked up, at least done him the decency of saying she was quitting the cult, but she just couldn’t bring herself to care.

Mob was acting strange. Had been since the Divine Tree incident. Maybe it was just because Mezato watched him much more closely than she had before, but he seemed lost - or well, more lost than normal. Recently, he’d gained confidence and drive, and while he didn’t lose all of that, it seemed a bit off now. Sometimes, he’d drift off in class, or glance at nothing and seemed startled for no reason, or fall still when writing, his pen hovering over his notebook. When he did put pen on paper, he took less notes in class, and just seemed to doodle some kind of cloud over and over again.

It was always hard to tell with Mob, inexpressive as he was, but if you payed attention to the details, you could reasonable draw the conclusion that there was something wrong with him.

Mezato considered pursuing it, like she normally would when she smelled a good story, and this could be a good story indeed. Mob acting like he’d lost something right after the Divine Tree had been removed from the city, combined with the knowledge that Mob had psychic powers, made for a strong possibility that he’d been involved in whatever had happened back then. If she could get the story out of him, she could sell it to actual news outlets, rather than being content with her little part in the school paper. It would be the smart move, and could possibly be interesting, too.

Mezato let it go. They weren’t close enough for these kinds of discussions.

///

None of her pictures had any pizzaz anymore. The composition was flat, the lighting bad, and the meaning missing. She struggled to write anything for the school paper that month, staring blankly at her laptop for hours before finally giving up and slamming it shut.

It wasn’t for a lack of interesting material; there was plenty of that. Even aside from the Divine Tree incident, there was change brewing within Salt Mid; Takane Tsubomi, most popular girl in school, was moving away, bringing all her admirers crawling out of the woodwork. Even Mob was planning to confess, and although, in all honesty, Mezato didn’t expect anything to come from it, she did hope for his sake it would work out.

She could write about the actual lines that had been formed by confessors, how Tsubomi had politely yet firmly turned all of them down, speculate on whether that was because someone else held her heart or because she was moving away soon, pretend that her turning down boys whom she’d never even spoken too before was somehow unreasonable. She had plenty of material to write a salacious story.

And yet, she couldn’t. All she had to show for hours of agonizing work was a blank Word document.

She let the deadline slide by, and didn’t offer any answers when the president came knocking.

///

Without the Psycho Helmet Cult or the News Club to distract her, all Mezato had to do was her schoolwork, and she’d never been good at that. She was plenty smart, but as soon as you put a worksheet in front of her, she lost all ability to think. It didn’t matter how much distractions she removed from her workplace, she would always drift off. Even a blank wall was somehow more interesting than her homework.

So she sat in her room and stared at her books, willing herself to write a summary, to study for the upcoming exams. The words blurred together, there but meaningless; she’d reread this paragraph fifteen times, and still couldn’t tell you what it said. The silence was maddening.

Vaguely, Mezato remembered the reveal of Lord Psycho Helmet, streamed for all Psycho Helmet followers to see. The Lord’s face was blurry, a spot she couldn’t quite place, but she knew it wasn’t Mob, because she’d never gone to pick him up. She couldn’t remember why she hadn’t. She couldn’t remember why she’d dismissed him, the next morning. She couldn’t remember why she’d helped distribute Divine Tree candy. She couldn’t remember why she’d encouraged people to pray to the Divine Tree. Then, she couldn’t remember much of anything.

Had there been something in the candy? Had she somehow helped to brainwash the entire city?

She clicked her pen, again and again and again. She could say that she’d never wanted that, that she’d never wanted to hurt people, but, well, she ran a cult. But it was a nice cult, really more of a club than anything, not anything like the ones you saw on TV, the way the (LOL) Cult had worked, where people became zombies completely dependent on the cult doctrine. It was just a group of people coming together in shared admiration for the mysterious Lord Psycho Helmet.

Only he wasn’t so mysterious to her at all, was he? She knew who he’d been since the start. She could’ve told everyone, put an end to the mystery real soon. And without the mystery, the cult wouldn’t have lasted; much as she wished he was different, Mob simply didn’t have the charisma to keep a group that large together. She’d seen how he’d behaved when he ran for the student council. He wouldn’t have lasted a minute on stage.

So why had she been so insistent to get him up there, then? Why had she kept the cult alive, why had she kept pressuring Mob to lead it? What did she have to gain from it?

Her leg was bouncing, and her pen had started leaking. She laid it aside, calmed her leg, sat back and stared at her textbooks.

She slammed them shut and stood up, shoving the chair so roughly it creaked. She’d take a walk. Maybe afterwards, she would actually be able to concentrate.

///

The boredom was suffocating. The teacher droned on, his words turning to gibberish before they reached her ears, and Mezato tuned it out, staring blankly at the board to give the impression she was paying attention.

In the end, those were the questions she kept returning to, again and again. Why had she lead the Psycho Helmet cult? Why had she tried to force Mob to lead it, despite knowing he couldn’t?

Why had she wanted to start that cult in the first place? Why had she decided to investigate the (LOL) Cult? Why had she joined the News Club?

She was bored. She was restless, but bouncing her leg or drumming her fingers or clicking her pen or anything else would get her in trouble, so she sat as still as she could and tried to ignore the way her muscles itched. Her knuckles were turning white as she gripped her pen, as she gripped it tighter and tighter in an attempt to relieve the stress without actually moving, until -

Crack. It broke, sending the plastic casing flying off her desk and spilling ink all over her hand.

“Miss Mezato, care to explain what happened?”

The whole class was looking at her. Mezato groaned.

“Any day now, Miss Mezato.”

“I broke my pen, sir.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Good. Please go clean your hand, and get cleaning supplies from the janitor to tidy your mess.”

Ink had dripped all over her desk now, too. She stood up, carefully keeping her hands in front of her to avoid more ink onto her uniform, and hurried towards the toilet.

The ink was easy enough to wash off. Mezato watched it disappear down the drain, staring at the streaming water.

She was bored. She was always bored. Things only excited her for so long before she had to move on to something new, something shinier, something that she could explore, until she’d inevitably grow bored of that as well. Was that why she hadn’t been able to write anything for the paper?

Her hand was getting cold under the stream, but she couldn’t get herself to move. Was this how it was going to be? Was she just going to flit from one transient thing to the next for her whole entire life, never satisfied, always hungry for something she’d never get to eat?

Her hands shook. She tried to turn the faucet off, but couldn’t find a grip on the handle. She leaned on the counter, trying to breathe.

She couldn’t study for her exams. She could tell herself that she’d be able to do so next year, but that’s what she’d told herself her entire life. It’s what she told her parents when they scolded her, and she knew it was a lie. She wouldn’t be able to study any better next year, and she’d never be able to get into a good high school, let alone keep up with the studies required there. She’d have to drop out, and what then? What kind of future did she have?

She pressed her hand against her mouth, leaning over until she rested against the mirror, trying to focus on the cold glass against her forehead, but her heart was going a hundred miles an hour and her hand didn’t stop her from hyperventilating and oh god, she was having a panic attack over a stupid broken pen in the filthy school bathroom, great, fantastic, fucking awesome, she thought she was done with this goddamnit, but nooo, something as small as this was enough to set her off again because lord knows her emotions couldn’t just behave normally for once in her fucking life -

A pair of hands pulled her back from the mirror, and in reflex, she punched at them, hitting air. Everything was blurry, and she was pushed towards the ground, and then her head was pushed onto her knees, and she heard someone say something, but couldn’t understand what it was. Her breathing was erratic, and she desperately tried to gasp for air at the same time she tried to remind herself not to, because no, she wasn’t out of breath, she wasn’t dying, she was just hyperventilating and she needed to take less breath not more, she knew that, she did, but it was just so hard.

From somewhere, a voice filtered in. “Breathe in, one, two, three, four, five, hold, one, two, breathe out, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, breathe in, one, two, three, four, five -”

She latched onto the rhythmic counting, matching her breaths to the rhythmic counting, and slowly, slowly, she found herself coming down. The ground beneath her was cool, her uniform somewhat itchy, and the bathroom stalls smelled as horrid as ever. With a final deep breath, she lifted her head, blinking her eyes against the harsh, flat light.

Next to her was Tsubomi, sitting cross-legged on the filthy floor, staring at her with a blank expression.

“Are you okay?” she asked, monotone.

“Yeah,” Mezato said, her voice hoarse. Tsubomi nodded.

“Good. See you.” As she went to stand up, Mezato felt her throat constrict, and without thinking, she grabbed her sleeve.

“Stay,” she said, and tried very hard not to beg.

Tsubomi studied her for a bit, then sat back down. Mezato relaxed, focused on her breathing again, tried to return to a better state of mind.

They sat there for a while, on the bathroom floor underneath the sinks. Mezato barely even noticed Tsubomi, but her presence was just enough to help keep her grounded in reality.

“You know,” she finally said, after her legs relaxed enough for her to move them. “most people stay with someone after a panic attack. To make sure that they’ll be fine.”

Tsubomi just stared at her with that blank expression. “You said you were okay, so I assumed you were.”

There was a flaw in logic there, probably, but her brain was too scattered to find it.

“How did you know what to do?” she asked instead.

Tsubomi shrugged. “Panic attacks really aren’t that special. I know at least five people who get them on the regular.”

“Yourself included?”

“I’m not telling that to the school reporter.”

Mezato managed to snort at that. “C’mon, I’m not fishing for a story here. Haven’t even written anything for them in over a month.”

Tsubomi didn’t ask why. Neither did she answer the question. After a few seconds of silence, Mezato pressed: “Seriously, I won’t tell anyone. I really owe you one after that.”

“I don’t want to tell you,” Tsubomi said bluntly. “I don’t know you, and this is personal.”

Oh. That was... fair, actually.

Mezato shrugged. “Fine. Whatever. It’s your business.”

Again, silence. It was awkward, but Mezato felt that she could be forgiven for not keeping the conversation going, under circumstances.

“Can I have my sleeve back?” Tsubomi asked.

Mezato blinked. Finally, she noticed that she still held Tsubomi’s uniform in a vine-like grip.

She let go, and Tsubomi pulled her arm back. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Mezato’s first instinct was to say yes, but remembering Tsubomi’s earlier reaction, she shook her head.

Tsubomi shifted. “Do you want me to stay for a bit?”

“Yeah.” Mezato drummed her fingers against her leg. “Hey, why did you help me?”

Tsubomi pursed her lips and squinted her eyes, thinking. “It just seemed needlessly mean to leave you there when I could help,” she finally declared.

“You don’t seem like the type of person who cares for people you don’t really know,” Mezato replied, tapping her feet.

Tsubomi raised an eyebrow. “What gave you that idea?”

“You turned down an entire line of suitors one by one, ruthlessly.”

Tsubomi rolled her eyes, quite possibly the loudest expression of emotion she’d made thusfar. “I didn’t even know any of them. I could’ve ignored them entirely, or turned them all down at once. Instead, I took the time to turn them down individually, because that was the polite thing to do.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Just because I don’t let people walk over me doesn’t mean I’m cruel.”

Mezato stared at her for a while, and she stared back, not even blinking.

“How do you do it?” Mezato finally asked.

“Do what?”

“Just...” Mezato gestured to all of her. “You really seem to know what you want.”

“I mean, it’s not hard to figure out you don’t want to date someone you’ve never spoken to,” she said, deadpan.

“Well yeah, but like -” Mezato made a noise of frustration. “I can’t place it. It’s just. I have this feeling that you aren’t easily persuaded to do something you don’t want to do.”

“Well, neither are you,” Tsubomi retorted. “You’re well known for being stubborn, Mezato.”

“I know, but...” she trailed off, closing her eyes. Her feet tapped against the bathroom floor, and she counted to its rhythm. It was strange how infiltrating a cult was easier than speaking honestly.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she admitted, refusing to look at Tsubomi. “I’m probably not gonna get through high school, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up - I have nothing to do, really. I distract myself with an endless string of hobbies that never go anywhere, and still, I’m always bored, and that’s the only thing I can see for myself in the future. Just an endless sea of boredom.”

Tsubomi blinked, then raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking me to give your life meaning in a public bathroom?”

Mezato burst out laughing. She doubled over, clutching her stomach, and laughed harder than she had in months, perhaps even years. When she finally finished, looking up through her tears at Tsubomi, she saw that even she had cracked a smile.

“Alright, fair enough.” She rubbed her eyes. “Guess I gotta figure that out myself.”

“I can’t do that for you,” Tsubomi confirmed. “I barely even know you.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Mezato waved a hand. “Sorry to dump that on you.”

“It’s okay.” Tsubomi seemed to hesitate for a bit, then added: “Maybe buy a lollipop on your way back home.”

Mezato blinked. “What?”

“They always help me calm down.”

Tsubomi stood up and rubbed the wrinkles out of her skirt. “Are you okay?” she asked, holding out a hand.

Mezato grabbed it, and let Tsubomi help her up. “Yeah,” she answered, and she meant it, this time.

///

Why had she joined the News Club?

Why had she started the Psycho Helmet Cult?

Why had she tried to persuade Mob to lead it?

Because she was bored. Because she needed a goal. Because she needed something to give her life meaning.

Eiji picked up after only one ring. “Mezato!” he cried out, his voice tinny through the phone. “I’m so glad to hear from you!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she said, and she didn’t quite mean it, but she was getting there, maybe. “I’ve been going through a rough time lately, and I don’t think I can keep up with you guys. Sorry, I’m going to have to rescind my leadership position.”

Eiji sighed. “That’s a shame, but we did expect something like that. Losing the Divine Tree was hard on us all, and after the earthquake in January, I certainly don’t blame you.”

“Yeah.” She hesitated for a second, tempted to chicken out, but she steeled herself and asked: “Eiji, why do you follow our religion?”

When the answer came, it sounded baffled. “Because Lord Psycho Helmet gives my life meaning, of course. Because he does so for all of us.”

She breathed in. Breathed out. “A word of friendly advice. Find something else to chase.”

“What do you mean?”

She thought. And she thought. “Nevermind,” she finally said.

They hung up, and Mezato stared at the ceiling.

///

Mob had been doing better since the disaster in January. He was much more alert, didn’t look like he lost something, and in many ways, he seemed more relaxed than he’d ever been before. It was a sag of his shoulders, an easier way of talking; small things, like always with Mob, but they made a world of difference.

“Hey, can we talk for a second?”

He turned, waving at his brother to go on, and said “Sure, what is it? Does the Pyscho Helmet Cult want something?”

“Ah, no.” She tapped her fingers on her leg. “I dropped them, honestly.”

Mob raised his eyebrow, only a little bit; she was paying attention and even she barely noticed. “Really? I didn’t think you ever would, to be honest.”

“Well, I guess you could say I got some perspective, recently.”

There fell a silence. Mob stared at her, didn’t make a move to continue the conversation, and for the first time, she understood what he might have seen in Tsubomi. They were unnervingly similar, in a way.

“Listen.” She clenched her fist, then relaxed. “I need to ask you a question, okay?”

Mob cocked his head. “What is it?”

And before she could lose the nerve, she rushed out: “That whole mess with the Divine Tree. Was that my fault?”

Mob blinked. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s pretty clear that the problems started thanks to the Psycho Helmet Cult, which I was directly responsible for.” Her voice sounded steely, confident. Good. “Or at the very least, it wouldn’t have spread as quick as it did without them - without us, me. I don’t remember a whole lot from back then, but I think that, whatever it was, I was at least partly responsible for it. Is that right?”

Mob was silent for a while. “You’re sort of right,” he finally admitted, slow and deliberate. “Without the Psycho Helmet Cult, whatever it was probably wouldn’t have spread as quickly as it did. My memories were also wiped, but I talked with someone whose weren’t, and he confirmed that the Psycho Helmet Cult was instrumental to city’s brainwashing.”

Mezato clenched her fists.

“But,” Mob added. “he could’ve done it without you. You just happened to be there, and be convenient. So I wouldn’t say it’s your fault.”

Mezato let out a deep breath. “I - thanks. That’s nice to hear.”

She stood up, squared her shoulders. “I have one more thing to say.”

“What is it?”

She took a deep breath, and made sure to look him straight in the eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said.

Mob blinked. “What for?”

“For using you.” She looked him in the eyes. “I wanted you to lead the Psycho Helmet Cult not because I thought you genuinely could, but because it would be entertaining to see you try, and because it was entertaining to try and convince you. I’ve grown to genuinely like you, and I started convincing myself I really just wanted to give you a chance, but I was lying to both myself and you. I’m sorry for that.”

“Oh.” Mob shifted, breaking the eye contact. “That’s okay. I’m glad you admitted it, though.”

Mezato blinked. “That’s it?”

Mob stared. “Shouldn’t it be?”

“It’s just...” She started playing with the hem of her shirt. “I treated you pretty badly, because I didn’t really care about you, at first. I don’t care about a lot of people, honestly. I try to, but it’s hard, and I forget to try pretty often. So this just feels a bit too easy, I guess? Shouldn’t you be angrier?”

Mob shrugged. “You apologized, you seem like you mean it, and like you’re trying to do better. It’s in the past, and you won’t do it again, so you’re okay now.”

Mezato gaped. “I just admitted to not really caring about other people, and you think I can do better?”

“Well, at least you’re self aware about it. That’s a good start.” He frowned. “Wasn’t that something you said about Tsubomi, though? That it seemed like she didn’t care about people?”

“Yeah.” Mezato scratched her neck. “I might’ve been projecting a little.”

“That makes sense,” Mob said, shifting his bag. “Was that all?”

For a moment, Mezato floundered, then confirmed: “That was all.”

“Okay. See you later, Mezato.” Mob turned to walk away, but stopped short.

“Actually,” he began, reaching into his bag. “I have a friend that you might like.”

Mezato raised an eyebrow. “A friend?”

“Yes.” He pulled out his phone. “His name’s Hanazawa Teruki, and he goes to Black Vinegar. I think you two might get along.”

He looked up at her. “You want his number?”

She stared at him for a second, then cracked a smile. “Sure,” she said. “Why not.”

///

She made the next deadline for the News Club, turning in an all-out expose on the delinquent war between Salt Mid and Black Vinegar. The president was lyrical and the paper was well-read; the article was a slam success.

She’d written nearly all of it in one go, and when she’d been done, she’d sat back, smiling.

She might not know what she wanted to do in the future, but she knew what she wanted to do right now, and maybe that was okay. She was still young. She had time to grow.

For now, she had a fantastic article, a new friend, a bag of lollipops in her drawer, and she’d be fine.

[whyareyoulikethis1d]

What do you think about Zigi situation and the talks going on about it from the media as well as online?

Oh anon why are you making me do this… Well I have time today.

When it comes to online/ fandom let me go by categories.

1- The Ziams & anti-zigis:

These people from the start have been atrocious. Not only have they harassed Gigi & her family but same with Zayn & his family. They have been intrusive and have spread lies online (those so called “exposing accounts”) Whether it’s on IG or Twitter. In my opinion they are tinthats and just mad weird. They keep on saying everything is fake, is a stunt, TPTB, etc… 

It’s repetitive, predictable, pathetic & boring.

 Guess what tinhats ZAYN & LIAM WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER ROMANTICALLY!!! 

For someone that they claim to love & stan they sure have a low opinion of Zayn and what he is willing to do for his status. Not only that but their false rumors and stuff is at times picked up by tabloids. So kudos to you for helping your fave dummies…

So when it comes to them I am just like:

2- Zigis:

I never really liked real couple shipping or should I say being a “stan” of a couple. I find it cringy and they also do go overboard and cross boundaries. Just because one is supportive doesn’t mean that they are not just as invasive or annoying as tinhats. (You can check my blog and how I was annoyed with the “Freddies”). 

So when it come to Zigis they were to me just like that. Anything that either Zayn and or Gigi did they were linking it together. Any like, comment, follow is or was being reported online. They even had/have update accounts. 

The ugly side of it is when the couple breaks up and they can’t let go or accept it. Think the Jelena (Justin & Selena), the Robsten (Rob & Kristen Stewart) or even the Zerrie (Zayn & Perrie) shippers/stan. Look at how ugly they got towards one or the other person especially when one of their OTP has moved on to a new partner (ex: Justin with Hailey, Rob with FKA Twigs & Zayn with Gigi). They actually become conspiracy theorists because they cannot accept that their OTP is over.  

Now when it comes to Zigis, they have actually turned into the Zerries that they were complaining and making fun of back in the day. LET IT GO!! Stop making connections and thinking that any follow, like or comment means something more. Don’t go harassing their possible new partners. Stop sending family DMs to find out the status of Zayn & Gigi’s relationship because you want some type of reassurance that your OTP are still together. BUTT OUT…. Last year during their first break up, the Zigis went on to attack Sofia & Iskra Lawrence because they thought something was maybe going on between them and Zayn. They said some pretty misogynistic things (feminist/girl power 101 my ass). They also went after (although to a lesser degree) they were being nasty and shady towards Lewis Hamilton when rumors were going around that him & Gigi were maybe going out. They are cringy…….

So when it comes to them, I am like:

3- Zstans & Gigi stans:

Both side have shown their true colors or their true feelings once it has been said that they are no longer together. 

On the Zstans side, some were sad others were happy (that is excluding the ziams & antis), others were relieved but for the most part at least from what I saw they were chill up until the first US weekly article. Then the ugliness started. Some even sided with conspiracy theorists out of all people.. Like eww… I get wanting to defend your fave (and at times you were damn right to defend him) but come on now do better…. 

You gleefully were rejoicing when you assumed that Zayn was shading Gigi with his tweets and thought that he was proving you right when you were calling her manipulative, disgusting and all that jazz. Nevertheless, Zayn himself went off on all of you and set you guys straight pretty quickly.

You doing all of that, made things worst for the person that you claim to stan & love because guess what tabloids picked up on it and it created negative press towards Zayn. So kudos to you for helping your fave dummies…  

As for the Gigi stans I don’t follow many of them to be quite honest but the impression that I always got is that while Zayn & Gigi were together they kept quiet but there were some indirects here and there and then they just let loose when the break up happened. They 100% believed what tabloids were saying and were now overtly being nasty towards Zayn online. I get wanting to defend your fave (and at times you were damn right to defend her against the nastiness said about her) but come on now do better…. 

They always seemed to think that Zayn was the one preventing Gigi from going out, partying  and being seen or being super active & interactive on social media like back in the day when she was besties with Kendall. They don’t think big bad Zayn is good enough for their queen Gigi.. Well guess what Gigi stans to my knowledge she’s still not yet doing the stuff you expected her to do. So sucks to be you….

You don’t know Zayn or Gigi personnaly. You are not part of their inner circle. You don’t know what their relationship is or was like except from what they have chosen to share or from what the media/tabloids have decided to spin for clicks. It’s their life, their relationship and their choices. PERIOD!!!!!!! 

So when it comes to them, I am like:

4- The media/tabloids + Zayn + Gigi

The media has been atrocious but more so towards Zayn than Gigi. Not surprised. Tabloids have rarely ever been on Zayn’s side. Most likely because he doesn’t curate his image as much as Gigi does. Zayn definitely hasn’t helped himself with some of the things he has said, done or tweeted online. I have said so in my tags. I don’t know what has prompted him to remember Twitter but it wasn’t a good idea at all. As a celebrity, social media is not a place to vent especially the cesspool that is Twitter. Also the vague tweets are open to interpretation and people will run with it and assume the worst automatically. I get it Zayn is still a human being like any of us but still…Be smart about how you use your platform you are not just anybody.

The media, loves to kick someone when they are down or bring up stuff. That’s what they do. They gossip, they speculate, they look for drama, they make up stuff. Anything to drive traffic on their site. Most of the articles have been basically about how Zayn is a deeply troubled young man (his anxiety issues, he is seen as a recluse, his tweets or some of his IG posts that would be 2018, his weed smoking..)  who is at an all time low (his management has allegedly dumped him, his second album did not do well commercially, still not touring, his gf has left him..) and was holding the super successful supermodel Gigi back from her full potential because she was always trying to help him. Basically that Zayn was dead weight. Then they brought in what Louis said about Zayn… You know all around just gross stuff.

It’s an easy narrative to paint for tabloids and quickly believed based on the bias people already have of Zayn that has been solidified by his reputation and the years of bad press that he hasn’t deemed worthy enough to respond to. 

That to me has always been a mistake but then again even when he does try to correct stuff or tell his side of the story, his words are ignored or not believed. He’s fucked either way. Even when he’s silent minding his own business there are still articles popping up. If my memory is correct, Zayn was pretty much silent online other than selfies up until March when he tweeted the Love You Gigi and yet since January Zayn was being mentioned in articles that were either about Gigi or about the status of their relationship (ex: the first US Weekly article).

 Nonetheless, I do think he needs an image overall and should hire a publicist to change that narrative. Zayn call Scooter Braun and ask him to give you the name of the pr people that were involved in cleaning up JB’s image just before his Purpose album…

I don’t know Zayn nor do I know what is going on in his personal life. I hope that he is doing well. If he is going through something, I hope that whatever is going on bts that he is dealing with it properly, that he has a strong & supportive system and will come on top of it. Whenever he is ready, if he wants to, he can open up about that time period in his life. (LOL who am I kidding my noisy self would love for him to write another book or do an in depth filmed interview where he talks about the Z2 era and what has been going on up until now.)

As for Gigi, she cares about her image and reputation. Gigi is smart and savvy. She’s very mindful of how she is seen and perceived in the media. She knows the game and plays along. That’s smart because she is in an industry where it does matter. Zayn should have learned that from her. Her IG is curated to showcase happiness & serenity as well as her achievements & projects. She’s photographed/papped with her friends or family, attending events, on a photoshoot or going to the gym. Break up, what break up? what heartbreak? She doesn’t need a man. She’s a strong independent woman. Girl power! Her career is going extremely well and keeps on going stronger and stronger. Kudos to her. You can’t hate her or criticize her for that. She has every right to do so.

However, what I will say is at times there are things that she has done that I was like girl wtf are you doing. For example responding to things that are not even necessary to respond to which then creates press that puts her in a good light and by default directly or indirectly throws Zayn under the bus. That tweet calling out the media about linking her to a guy..Sweetie there were no articles. Nothing had been written. No outlets had picked up the pap pics of her and her friends. It was her own fans at first that had shared the pictures on their update accounts. Or that time she responded/clapped back at a Zayn stan that hadn’t mentioned her name or tagged her but shared what was deemed an unflattering  picture of her and people in the comments were making fun of her… I was like girl how did you even find this???? Are you lurking???? Anyway both times, it made the press and Zayn was dragged into it. 

Or back in January when she was papped 2 days in a row at Zayn’s apartment. For that though, I won’t blame her in the sense of she called the paps on herself like tinhats or antis would. Being seen at his apartment, led to articles..

Gigi is still a human being like any of us and has her moments but still…

I would also like to remind people that Gigi is not in any way obligated to come to Zayn’s defense when it comes to what has been said about him by the media or online from her stans or anyone else. However, in my opinion, I do think if she has the time to tweet/call out the media about articles that hadn’t yet been written, she could tweet about some disturbing articles that have been written about someone with whom she had an on/off relationship for 3 years or so. Same thing for Zayn. Zayn has come to her defense when he tweeted for people to leave her alone. Just saying….

Finally, as for the 2 US Weekly articles, in light to what Zayn has tweeted recently, I choose to think that Gigi and her camp had no part in it. 

I know that many including mutuals of mine have entertained the theory that these articles were Gigi’s doing because of Yolanda’s connection to US Weekly. 

So for arguments sake:

As I’ve said in previous conversations, prior to even Zayn tweeting, I hope that she had no part in it. If she did, then yep I would side-eye her and call this tactic sneaky & cowardly. Why go that route? Own up to it. Why use a tabloid with “sources” instead of making a proper statement via your social media or at least via your “rep” so that it’s clear that it comes from you? 

That first US Weekly article was written after she was papped at his appartement twice. Zayn had not been seen out, he hadn’t tweeted or done anything. That article went up and was picked up by many outlets. In it, they said Zayn had issues that Gigi couldn’t help him with. She tried everything, she was no longer hanging out with her friends, etc.. etc… 

The timing of the 2nd US Weekly article was mid-March two weeks or more after Zayn tweeted the “Love you” tweet to which Gigi had not responded to (she wasn’t obligated to do it either). In that article, it mainly said that Gigi has love for Zayn but he has MAJOR ISSUES (yep this time around they added major. last time it was just issues) and it’s over for good because they are not compatible. Again it was “sources”.. I was like why wait two weeks or more to write this? Why not write that article immediately after Zayn had tweeted it. The story had died down. That article was again picked up by many other news outlet.

But like I said anon, I choose to believe or at least hope that Gigi & her camp had no part in it. I would think she’s better than that to go that low and from my knowledge, it wasn’t/ or isn’t her MO. If she doesn’t address things directly usually it’s via a rep.

So when it comes to the media, I am like:

As for my thoughts on the status of Zayn & Gigi’s relationship:

Zayn and Gigi are two young good looking rich adults. Aesthetically/visually, Zigi was a stunning couple. Bottom line, It’s their lives, their choices. Whatever happens, happens. They are two celebrities that I don’t know personally. At the end of the day it doesn’t affect my life or livelihood.

So those are all my thoughts. Have fun reading anon!!! 

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

Change of Heart (Follower Celebration Fic #3)

Title: Change of Heart

Pairing:  Jungkook x reader

Type: shifter!au, wolf!au, angst with a happy ending, Friday Night Lights meets Teen Wolf? Idk.

Word Count: 1,894

Rating: PG    

Warnings: mentions of depression post-bad breakup, language

A/N:   The third of five for my 200 follower celebration! Requested by a lovely anon. This literally wrote itself- I think you can tell sometimes when it flows easier. It was in the notebook that I carry around so I had a fun time deciphering my own handwriting lol. I was tempted to leave it open-ended and ambiguous as I am oft to do, but anon requested happy so I hope you love it. Except for the soulmate thing, it actually has very little to do with shifters.

A/N Update: Crap there are so many typos I’m sorry. Brain and fingers while typing don’t communicate well. Working on edits now, but was excited to get it out <3 

How could you even express what Jungkook meant to you? Until now, you had always kind of taken him for granted. Being with him was like breathing. You didn’t think about it until it lost its usual ease. Clearly, you were now in the emotional equivalent of a head cold. Kook was literally the boy next door, and the two of you had been inseparable since the day his parents had dragged him along to welcome the new neighbors; apple pie still steaming in their hands.

If your parents were surprised by the small-town niceties, you couldn’t say. Kook and you had been in the midst of a stare-down, some kind of weird kindergarten dominance battle. Later in life, you would realize just how dumb it was to stare down a wolf-shifter, but at the time you hadn’t even realized what he was, let alone the finer points of inter-species etiquette. And it didn’t much matter, since had caved first, and bounded over to wrap you in a hug. Most of your childhood memories from that time were filled with warmth, whether from the hugs or the pie you couldn’t say for certain.

You thought that warmth would continue forever, and for a long time, it did. Your childhood adventures with Kook were filled with pillow forts, catching fireflies, and watching Ironman approximately ten thousand times. But then puberty hit you both like a train, and in very different ways. His shifts started, and he shot up and bulked up, while you filled out in different places, both of you mutually pimply and suddenly awkward.

Childhood warmth morphed into a flame. Pleasant in small amounts but dangerous if left unchecked. So you tried your hardest to keep a lid on your growing feelings. Jungkook had long ago explained that shifters get one mate for life, usually another shifter, so that the person wouldn’t be destroyed by the other not reciprocating their feelings. He had explained that while “mate” implied something physical, it was actually so much more than that-two halves of the same soul residing in different bodies. Not someone to fuck with, literally or metaphorically.  The way he had talked about it at the time made it seem like something far off, like college, marriage, or having kids, so the two of you worked hard in tiptoeing around what that might mean for your friendship. Instead, the two of you continued as you always had, and if his parents shot the two of you knowing looks, neither of you acknowledged it.

As high school dragged on, the two of you became busier, him with varsity football and you with drama club. Your friend groups diverged, but you both still made the time to hang out on the weekend and nerd out together, your friendship never losing that special spark.

Until he started dating a fellow wolf shifter from a nearby school. You presumed it to be serious, since shifters didn’t really date casually due to the soul bond. You were never really the jealous type, and Jungkook’s new and improved bunny smile helped you to welcome his girlfriend into your friendship.  She “got” him in ways that you never could, and not just because she was a wolf. Toned, tall, and golden, you were fairly certain that she could run both literal and metaphorical laps around you. It didn’t hurt that she was cool and genuinely gorgeous. Why even worry about competing when it was clearly impossible? And toxic?

But you would be lying if you denied the smaller, less secure part of yourself that felt jealous and displaced. Jungkook still tried to make time for your more occasional Friday night hangouts, but she kept taking up more and more of his headspace. When not actively talking about her, he was checking his phone incessantly. Maybe you were being petty, but you still wanted him to be present in your life as well.

Slowly but surely, you started staying later at theater rehearsals and investing more time into other friendships. Correspondingly, Jungkook’s text messages slowed to a trickle. The two of you still ate lunch together most days, but it had become less intense than it had once been. Occasionally, he still gave you those signature one-armed hugs that you secretly loved, his chin resting on the crown of your much lower head. Years ago, he had given you an overly vague description of pack dynamics, and the need for physical affection, which confused you now. Shouldn’t he be getting said attentions from his soulmate?A small part of you was flattered that his new relationship hadn’t completely displaced you from his pack. “Bros before….” whatever, as the expression went.

You convinced yourself it was innocent, particularly since you had started dating an equally nerdy lighting tech you had met through drama club. If his affinity for the MCU replicated someone else’s, you couldn’t say. If his penchant for video games reminded you of a childhood friend, well, everyone loved video games. Nothing to see there. If when kissing him, you envisioned someone else’s face, well you would never let on. It was never as serious as Kook’s relationship seemed to be.

Though all parties involved knew the inevitable outcome of the blossoming relationship between the two shifters, you had never actually heard Jungkook use the word “soulmate” in reference to his girlfriend. Because of books and movies, people tended to think of it as insta-love, but that wasn’t (usually) how it worked in real life. For as as much as their inner wolves guided them, they were people as well: emotions, ambitions, tics and traits as much as anyone else.  Even in the “wild” (though you often snorted at the dramatic image this conjured), there were trial periods, rituals,  and rites of passage. But from the outside, the two of them were the complementary faces of a coin, peas in a pod, tied by the strings of fate, and any other metaphor that someone wanted to use. Maybe it was one of those things Jungkook just knew,without the need to put a label on it.

Or so you thought. Clearly, you didn’t know as much about the natural world (or matters of the heart) as you had thought. Most of your knowledge you’d gleaned from NatGeo or Discovery Channel documentaries- you were a suburban kid like any other. Your knowledge of romance came from novels with Fabio or one of his five thousand lookalikes on the cover, CW shows, and your admittedly very lackluster current relationship.  When Kook had found out  he had growled slightly, and immediately tried to mask it with a cough. But you’d known him long enough to not fall for his bullshit. You were indignant though-you’d been supportive of his relationship, so why couldn’t he support yours? Sometimes, when the two of you walked down the hallway holding hands, Kook would shoot daggers with his eyes, which you would studiously ignore. But the guy was either oblivious or braver than you gave him credit for.

All these pointed looks and tension should have painted a sign for you (in neon letters) that all was NOT well in paradise, but you were working so hard to suppress what you felt for your childhood friend that it surprised you as much as anyone else when Kook’s girlfriend broke up with him. “Broke up” was giving her more than she deserved-she had simply taken off one day. Wolf shifters tended to the transient side (Kook’s family being the exception), and one day when another pack was passing through, she decided to run off with the alpha. You didn’t know if she’d found “the one” or was just flighty. And you certainly weren’t interested in the politics of the shifter world, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out the bump in status she would get from a high school kid to an established alpha. But you couldn’t spare her a second thought- your best friend was destroyed. Suddenly, the golden jock of the school was acting like one of the emo kids: dark circles from lack of sleep, appetite wrecked, small things irritating him, or at other times, complete indifference when he should have been irritated.

You didn’t know if Kook had it in him to love anyone else- maybe that part of him had left with her.  And it wasn’t particularly at the forefront of your mind, but you were genuinely worried about your friend. With the fall play winding down and winter finals fast approaching, you had extra time on your hands that you were supposed to be using to study. Instead, you spent every waking moment with Kook…and some decidedly not wakeful moments. It was around this time that your own boyfriend broke up with you, citing your emotional unavailability. You felt bad for wasting his time, but you also felt free. It was a relief, honestly, to be over and done with it.

All of the distance between you evaporated in a few weeks, if that. You watched Deadpool and Ant Man, played Overwatch, and tried to distract your friend from his heartbreak. Often, he would fall asleep, head resting on your lap, tears dripping from the corner of his eyes, even in sleep. But his parents had told you later that was the only time he was seemingly at ease enough to sleep at all.

You knew there were things unsaid, but it wasn’t the time-not when he was emotionally vulnerable. You didn’t want to feel predatory, and it was during this time, things started to fall into place for you. Your own feelings began to crystallize, and you realized that it didn’t matter in what way you had him, but that he needed to be in your life. Even if romantic love never materialized, there were other kinds of love that were just as deep and important. And you realized that you loved him, in that way too. Everything else-it was a distraction. It was thoughts like this that strengthened your resolve when things seemed particularly bleak.

Over time, everything you gave to him, he gave back tenfold. He slowly began to smile again, and sleep through the night. But the two of you continued to come and go from school together, one doing homework and waiting for the other if at practice or rehearsal. He never dated again while in high school, and you both ended up going to the local university. You for the in-state tuition breaks and well-rated course of study that you wanted, and him….well, you weren’t sure why, but if the ways his parents smirked was any indication, you might have had an inkling. After a mandatory first year spent in the dorms, the two of you got an apartment near the campus. And though neither of you were ones for lengthy confessions you had an understanding: you were soulmates in whatever way a damaged wolf shifter and human could be.  Never alone and always taking care of each other. Which was why, you were so shocked when, one average day like any other, he got down on one knee, and offered you a small velvet box, telling you that his heart was in your hands,  as it had always been and would always be.

[aion-rsa]

“EAGate” Controversy Reactions Call for the End of FIFA Loot Boxes

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

A series of Twitter posts grouped under “#EAGATE” seemingly reveal that at least one EA employee has been selling FIFA Ultimate Team cards to fans for thousands of Euros.

For context, FIFA Ultimate Team cards are used in the franchise’s Ultimate Team mode. Described by EA as the “most popular mode in FIFA,” Ultimate Team is basically a combination of a CCG deck builder and a GM mode. Essentially, it sees you try to build the best team possible over the course of multiple in-game years largely through opening card packs that contain everything from upgrades to new players.

While it is possible to earn those packs through the course of regular play, the process can be very slow. Furthermore, the chances of getting the most valuable Ultimate Team cards (which include Icon cards and Prime Icon Moments) are so slim that they’re sometimes considered to be nonexistent in the minds of many fans.

This is where loot boxes come in. If you want to skip the grind and improve your odds, it is possible to buy FIFA Ultimate Team card packs via the in-game store. In fact, buying card packs is so popular that it’s estimated that EA earned $1.49 billion dollars in 2020 just from sales of Ultimate Team packs across their sports gaming franchises that offer them. Much of that revenue comes from FIFA players who desperately search for the rarest cards.

However, it seems that someone close to EA may be offering an alternate solution. As spotted by Eurogamer, a series of WhatsApp screenshots were recently posted to Twitter and show what appears to be conversations with an individual who claims to have a friend at EA who can directly sell players specific FIFA Ultimate Team cards. The prices listed for these cards by the seller range from €750 to €1,700.

So we grind/trade/open packs and can’t touch these PIM players but EA employees sell them to people secretly for $1,700?!?! LOL I respect the grind but my god… pic.twitter.com/CCnhjZbcgH

— Nick 🇨🇦 (@Nick28T) March 10, 2021

#EAGATE A special thanks to @RiberaRibell for the picture , he did an amazing work❤️ (continue in the comments)#fut #fifa pic.twitter.com/bJIg2rpWtI

— Arcade-Fut (@FutArcade) March 10, 2021

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

EA has since responded to these allegations with a statement that condemns this kind of activity and promises fans that they will investigate this matter in order to determine if any EA employees were involved in this ongoing situation.

pic.twitter.com/DtclTPandl

— EA SPORTS FIFA (@EASPORTSFIFA) March 10, 2021

As you might imagine, that statement has done very little to address the concerns of FIFA fans everywhere. While there are certainly plenty of people who are angry at the sellers in this instance, what’s interesting to note is that many of the reactions that we’re seeing from fans aren’t focused on the individuals in this instance but rather how EA’s Ultimate Team microtransactions allowed for and encouraged this kind of activity in the first place.

EA aren't responsible for a rogue employee abusing their power for money, but they are responsible for a lack of controls around their free card distribution, and they are responsible for creating a FUT environment where these kind of transactions are even appealling #EAGate

— Pateau (@Pateau_FUT) March 10, 2021

I really sympathise with all of you that have grinded DAYS and DAYS of FUT… Or have spent THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS on store bought loot box packs… Only to have their grind basically invalidated by EAs ability to grant 50m+ worth of cards for a fraction of the value.#EAGate

— Matt (@MattFUTTrading) March 10, 2021

Hear me out… I’ve spent probably a couple grand on FIFA this year and your telling me I could have saved my money and got the best players for under what I’ve spent.. shambles #FUT21 #EAGATE

— Swayy (@SwayyyHow) March 11, 2021

That last point really gets to the heart of this matter. The funny thing is that there are many FIFA players out there who aren’t entirely opposed to the idea of spending extra money or extra time on the game. It’s not exactly what they’d prefer to do, but if it ultimately comes down to spending some extra cash on a particular card or grinding gameplay hours for a specific unlockable, there are many out there who would pay those prices.

Unfortunately, that’s not how this all works. What people spend hours of their lives and thousands of dollars on isn’t a specific card; it’s the chance to get a specific card. That element of randomness has always been the bane of the entire loot box concept, but it’s always felt especially cruel in FIFA. Not only is the game incredibly popular, but the competitive advantages offered by some of those cards can be significant. Furthermore, the odds of getting some of the game’s best cards are absurdly low. The exact odds are debatable and often kept intentionally vague, but it’s believed that you have roughly a 0.01% chance of unpacking some of those cards that are allegedly being sold directly to players by insiders.

So while it’s pretty low for an EA employee to be selling FIFA Ultimate cards to players at seemingly insane prices, it’s strangely somehow more direct than what EA does every day when they sell the microscopic possibility of acquiring those same cards.

While it’s nearly impossible to imagine that EA would stop selling Ultimate Team packs given that these card pack microtransactions are the basis of a multi-billion dollar industry, it’s certainly going to be interesting to see whether or not employees at the company are actually involved in selling cards directly. If so, it could be hard for EA to continue hiding from the twisted fact that what they’re preparing to punish is the one person at the company who seems to be willing and able to sell FIFA players everywhere what they really want to buy.

The post “EAGate” Controversy Reactions Call for the End of FIFA Loot Boxes appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3vh7anu

[spider-moon-princess]

Time Travel CH 19

HOLY JEEZ, THIS TOOK A WHILE. LEGIT, I sat down for like four hours to write this. I wanted to make sure things were kinda accurate, plus dealing with FEELS. But y’all have five pages worth, at least LOL. 

Part 18

Masterlist

——+++——

Toshizō unlocked the door to his shared apartment. The sudden thought of how they decided to live together came to him. He chuckled at the memory and kicked off his shoes, “I’m home.” He could smell something cooking. She’d gotten home first, so dinner was left up to her. They took turns, depending on who made it home first. Sometimes they’d order out. 

 "Toshi! Welcome home.“ She peered over at him, turning off the burner, and noticed he was lost in thought already. There was something else on his mind, after all, he’d visited Souji early in the morning. Besides work, there was a lot on his mind with Souji. Even after all this time, though talking to Sano and her, he still blamed himself for the death of his younger brother.

“Thanks,” Toshizō grunted and absentmindedly sat on the couch. A black cat jumped next to him, rubbing against his hand, asking for attention. He scratched the cat behind the ears. It was one of the precious things Souji had left them. Souji had picked up this cat while he was living at the dorms and dumped him on Toshizō’s doorstep after nursing back him to health. The little shit had named him Toshizō, and the cat didn’t appreciate having his name changed.*

Satomi picked up Toshizō and set him down, taking Toshi’s hand in hers. “I’m here when you’re ready to tell me what’s on your mind. I doubt it’s the next surgery or paperwork.”

He gave her a very thin smile and gave her hand a squeeze. “Aa, I know. It’s just…there’s something that came up. I have to discuss some things with Kondō-san and Sannan-san before I can tell you.”

Satomi got closer to him, laying her head on his chest. Toshizō closed his eyes, running his fingers through her black hair. Her presence alone was enough to soothe him. “It’s that big of a secret you can’t tell me then?”

“Aa. At least not yet. Believe me, it’s…complicated. You will find out.”  

—

Chizuru stroked his hair. Souji had exhausted himself and settled his head in her lap. Eventually, she’d dozed off as well.

Souji woke up first and shifted a little to look up at Chizuru’s face. Her presence was rather comforting and soothing. She smelled vaguely of cherry blossoms. He reached up to cup her cheek, expecting her to awaken, but she stayed sleeping. Just what did his counterpart see in this Chizuru? Sure, she was cute, good on the eyes, but why had he loved her? All the “memories” he’d been seeing, they had such warm feelings attached to them whenever Chizuru was in them.

“Souji…” She murmured, her eyes fluttering slightly. She leaned down to kiss his forehead.

Souji chuckled. “Are you awake, Chizuru-chan?” He waved a hand in front of her.

Her eyes snapped open. She thought she’d been dreaming. The only way to see her Souji was in her dreams. "Ah, Okita-san! I’m sorry! I was still asleep!”

He stood up after spotting his sword leaning against the wall, next to the tv. “Ne, Chizuru-chan,”

She rubbed her eyes and looked over at him. “Yes, Okita-san?”

Souji picked up his sword, unsheathing it, feeling a sense of familiarity and calmness. It was the only thing that had come with him, the only thing that was familiar.“If you tell anyone about last night, I’ll kill you.” He strode over to the couch, pointing the sword at her neck.

Chizuru looked up into his eyes. He didn’t have that amused sparkle in his eyes that she expected him to have. His mouth was curved into a sadistic smile. She’d never seen this expression on her Souji’s face. It was a painful reminder that her Souji wouldn’t return to her. The man in front of him just bore his face. “O-Okita-san…”

The look of fear on her face was reminiscent of the Chizuru he’d first met. She had been terrified at his “jokes.” “Don’t forget that I’m me. I’m not the same soft Okita Souji you knew. Don’t confuse us.”

She didn’t, couldn’t move.

He burst out laughing, and sheathed his sword in one fluid and quick movement. “I was joking, Chizuru-chan. Not entirely.” He sat down near the journals.

“Okita-san…you’re unbelievable! That’s not something to joke about!” Chizuru grabbed a pillow and smacked the back of his head with it.

Souji knew he deserved that. “…Chizuru…”

She stopped as she was about to throw another pillow at him.

“…thank you. For being there last night.” He whispered.

“…it’s nothing…” She mumbled, getting up from the couch to go to her room to take a shower and start breakfast.

Souji stared at the old, worn journals in the box. Some of them looked vaguely familiar, since every now and again, he’d take time out of his day to ransack Hijikata-san’s room and read his “diaries.” He finally reached into the box to pull out the first one. There was a letter inside.

Dear Hijikata family,

I have managed to find these journals from the time that Hijikata Toshizō-san arrived in Kyoto with the rest of the Shinsengumi members, up until almost the end of the war. I implore you to keep Hijikata Toshizō-san and the Shinsengumi’s history alive by passing down these journals for generations to come, so people can learn about who the Shinsengumi really were.

From Hijikata Toshizō-san’s Page, Yukimura.

Chizuru-chan? He recognized her handwriting. What business did she have recovering Hijikata-san’s journals? He didn’t know how the rest of it played out. He had only read the part about Kondō-san. Maybe Hijikata-san would give him a more detailed explanation of what actually happened to the Shinsengumi.

He skimmed the first few journals that he talked about when they were the Roshigumi. He remembered all of it too well. After the incident in Ikeda, he started to read more carefully. The dates were smudged a bit, but he could make out the month and year.

June 1865

 Souji…that bastard…I heard him and Yukimura talking. He doesn’t plan on telling us about his tuberculosis. I’ve already told him I can’t send him back to Ezo. I can only keep an eye on him and make him rest as much as I can. That guy’s going to hate me for it…

 By this point, some idiot named Itou infiltrated the Shinsengumi, and according to Hijikata-san, he was playing Kondō-san. Sannan-san had drank Ochimizu and became the Colonel of the Furies, though the words “Rasetsu,” “Oni,” and “Ochimizu” were smudged out. Every time Hijikata-san mentioned it, the words were smudged out, so to anyone else reading it, they wouldn’t know what he was talking about.

Souji sighed, so Chizuru-chan and Hijikata-san found out about his illness then? Whether his life was short or long, he was going to do all he could with his sword for the Shinsengumi and Kondō-san. Dying in a bed didn’t suit him, nor would he have let it happen. This Mother Hen would say otherwise to his choices.

April 1867

 Heisuke and Saitō left us to join the Guard. The path Kondō-san and I carving didn’t seem to agree with them, but we will continue forward, with or without them. They have their own roads to carve and follow.

 It was hard for him to picture the ever-loyal-to-Hijikata-san-Hajime-kun leave the Shinsengumi. He could understand Heisuke, but Hajime-kun was a bit of a shock. He continued reading.

November 1867

 Heisuke has come back to us after we’ve managed to pull off our stunt, but at a cost. He’s now joined Sannan-san. Many of the guys have mixed feelings, but in the end, I think we’re all relieved he’s back. For now, Saitō needs to lay low before he can come back to us. He’s played an important in all of this, I couldn’t be more grateful he kept Kondō-san from being assassinated by the Guard.

 So, Heisuke had become a fury. He couldn’t picture the sweet Eighth Division Captain killing others for joy and drinking their blood. The white hair. The red eyes. He couldn’t picture it on him, but somehow he’d become one.

December 1867

 There was an attempt to assassinate Kondō-san. Souji gave me his two cents on the matter, he’s still a kid…Of course, it doesn’t mean he’s completely wrong. It’s my fault. I should’ve convinced Kondō-san to take more men with him.

That same night, Souji ****** and killed the men that had attempted to assassinate him. Yukimura went after him, and we were able to find them both thanks to her.

Now, Souji has joined both Sannan-san and Heisuke. Kondō-san is disappointed in himself and in Souji for what he’s become. I should’ve been watching him more carefully.

 How interesting…He did end up drinking Ochimizu. It didn’t matter what he had to do to get rid of Kondō-san’s enemies, even become a beast. He owed him his life and much more. The war raged on and even Hijikata-san himself and Hajime-kun succumbed to the Ochimizu. The Choshu Ronin, an Oni, he guessed, was the cause of this. Hijikata-san had sent Chizuru with him and Kondō-san to Osaka to recover from wounds. The cause of his own wounds was also smudged out.

The war raged on and Hijikata-san struggled with decisions. Their comrades left, Shinpachi-san and Sano-san left. Hajime-kun stayed with the Aizu Domain.

May 1868

 Kondō-san…has surrendered to the new government. He ordered me to continue moving forward with the Shinsengumi name on my shoulders…Souji somehow managed to find me and give me a good punch. There wasn’t much strength to it, since his tuberculosis was still present, even though *******. He and Yukimura traveled far to track me down. We both felt it, Kondō-san’s death. I had no excuse for him. I am just as angry as he is that Kondō-san was executed like a common criminal. That man was the most honorable and noble Warrior to have ever existed. He died smiling.That person that gave so much even when we didn’t have anything, was gone, executed brutally. He still died a real Warrior, a true Samurai, more than these sons of bitches that turned tail and sided with the Satchō.

He and Yukimura…seemed to have gotten involved, but both know that it doesn’t seem like Souji will last much longer. We all knew it. He collapsed and was taken to the infirmary.

Yukimura stayed with him until his last moment. I stood outside, waiting. She finally came out, unable to say a word, crying her eyes out. I never thought I’d hear the little shit say he loved a woman in such a sincere voice. I ordered her to find a place of her own, away from the war, it’s no place for a woman. I ain’t a coward that takes down a woman with him.

 Souji blinked, rereading the last page again. It wasn’t his death that had shocked him, though he was severely disappointed he had died in bed,unable to avenge Kondo-san, it was the fact that he and Chizuru…were together. In his life, he’d come to love Chizuru-chan. The same feelings that were in the memories he saw…He would’ve had them too if he had continued living the life in Ezo. He and Chizuru…

He took a few moments to absorb Hijikata-san’s thoughts and feelings. There was so much to process. The way his comrades, friends, had gone to carve their own paths. Kondo-san’s death…Hijikata-san had a lot on his shoulders…he had been burdened with so many things. The world changed too rapidly for them.  

June 1969

I fought alongside Heisuke and Sannan-san to get rid of the remaining *******, but not long after that, they turned to ash, they ************. You two fought well, take care of the others for me, Gen-san, Yamazaki, Kondō-san, Saitō, Souji. I’ll join you someday soon.

I made sure to destroy anything related to ******. That must never repeat itself. Before Sannan-san was gone, he gave me the location of his research. I ran into that ****, Amagiri. He said that that Kazama had destroyed Kodo-san’s research and ******. Apparently, Heisuke and Sannan-san had helped him destroy that army he’d created.

Last I heard of Yukimura, she’s been trying to track me down, but she’s made a good life for herself in the temple I left her at. The elderly lady I sent a letter to told me there’s a nice guy that’s been looking after her. Maybe she’ll finally live well, have some kids, a good husband, after all of this. She deserves it.

Now, it seems like I’ve come to the end. The Tokugawa is collapsing. What do I have left? I ain’t going to battle to win, I’m going to go down like a true Warrior. Someone’s gotta go down with the Tokugawa, and it’d be disgraceful if no one went down with them. But, I’m gonna give them hell and give them the best fight they’ve ever seen. I’m carrying the Shinsengumi name with me, so I will die honorably and proudly by the paths we’ve made for ourselves.

 That was the last entry.

Souji set the journal down.

Hijikata-san endured so much. Death, political power, honor. He wouldn’t have admitted it back then, but Hijikata-san had died a real Warrior.

Souji stared blankly at the floor, fighting back his emotions. They’d lost everything they’d worked for. Everything they’d all endured together.

He was alone.

He certainly felt alone. Everyone he knew was gone, it had not quite sunken in, being surrounded by the look-alikes. He’d felt…like he almost belonged. But this was not his time, these were not the people he had fought battles with , shared drinks with, they merely looked like them and almost spoke like them, but they were completely different. He had not realized how different they were. They came from two different worlds, times.

“Okita-san? I brought you your medicine and some tea.” Chizuru placed the tray on the table, about to pick up a cup to hand it to him.

Souji pulled her into his arms without warning. She protested slightly, but remained quiet when she heard him murmur, “Please, just for a little while.” He held her tightly, burying his face into her shoulder, breathing in her sweet cherry blossom scent. 

Part Twenty

—-+++—–

This chapter has been the one that I poured more time and effort to omg. I hope you all liked it! I’M STILL HAVING FEELS. This was a difficult chapter to write, no lie. ME, BRAIN, WE BETTER BE GETTING SOME FLUFF SOON. Also @sabinasanfanfic‘s OC makes an official appearance! 

BTW, the cat named Toshizo, Souji did this in a Drama CD LOL one of my personal favorites. 

EDIT: @sabinasanfanfic wrote an AMAZING AND CUTE piece on how Hiji-san ended up with little Toshizo, Read It Here (THANK YOU SENPAI, I LOVE IT SO MUCH, *FANGIRLS*) 

[atopearth]

Shall We Date? Ninja Shadow Part 33 - Tou Route

Lol at Kou and Sou eating soba whilst Tou does the work. They do seem pretty close though, mainly because Sou seems to really care for them both. But, Tou seems to always be on edge for some reason.. Ooh, so the three of them come from the village of Shinki, a hidden village that passes on the art of puppetry where they are able to manipulate puppets to fight. It’s kinda cool that Tou has a vermilion bird, Kou has a dragon and Sou has a white tiger. It’ll be nice to see them all. Anyway, the shogunate is offering them protection due to their village being destroyed and probably because their art form or fighting style is unique and important I guess. And it seems like Sou has some sort of amnesia since he was the village chief and he was there when the village was attacked, but he woke up with no memories of what happened, I guess that’s why Kou and Tou are rather protective of Sou? Although I feel like there’s probably more to it than that.

Well anyway, I’m not sure what’s wrong with Tou and why he doesn’t want to talk to “mere humans” (is he not human?🤔), but really, he’s starting to aggravate me with how rude he is to the heroine. Like, I doubt Kou really cares about the heroine but at least he’s polite, Tou is just straight up aggressive and I just want someone to punch him ugh. On the other hand, the heroine is way too resilient against Tou! Usually she’d at least get mad even if she persistently tries to get the guy to talk, but here, she practically just ignores Tou and tries to get him to talk about himself etc. I guess for someone who wants to be left alone, that can be infuriating lol. It was nice of Tou to find a lost kid even though he hates people. I guess he just doesn’t like to involve himself with others if he doesn’t need to. I thought it was kinda cute how he couldn’t help but react a little more softly towards the heroine after she called him nice haha. It was really sweet of the heroine to get Kou’s help on what Tou likes to eat, so that she could make him dinner as appreciation for him using his energy (with the vermilion bird) to find the kid and thus exhausting himself. I liked how considerate she was to leave the dinner next to him instead of touching him (since he doesn’t like being touched) to wake him up.

Lmao at Kou tricking Tou into praising the food without realising it was actually the heroine who made it. It was pretty funny when he tried to say it actually tasted awful when he realised, but it was also really sweet when he eventually admitted to the heroine that it did in fact taste really good. It’s nice that Tou is looking at the heroine more favourably, but at the same time, I feel like the heroine is allowing Tou to step all over her a bit too much. It’s like when he says one “nice” thing that any decent person would say, such as thank you or good morning or something, she reacts as if it’s like a blessing from the gods or something and it honestly feels really weird because it doesn’t match her character imo. Like, of course it’s nice that he’s more accepting and receptive to her now, but I feel like there are other ways to portray her happiness over it without undermining herself. LOL, it seems like Tou is actually kinda jealous of Ukyo and the heroine’s relationship, he probably wants to be as close and nice to her as Ukyo is, but is too shy to do it haha. It was really nice and thoughtful of the heroine to take Tou to the ocean since he doesn’t like people, it was pretty cool to actually see him enjoy himself playing with the waves with the heroine. I’m not a fan of Tou, but when he held her hand and said he wanted to be friends with her, he was honestly so cute.

Lmao when Mashiro kept touching Tou for the fun of it, so Tou used the heroine as a shield against him (since he’s fine with touching the heroine now) hahaha. Tou’s story wasn’t anything surprising considering how he is right now, but yeah, to be betrayed by a human that was nice enough to spend time with him and teach him things, only to have said human bring other people to surround him and try to kidnap him is definitely a frightening experience for young him. It’s saddening that those people skewered his view of humans, but I’m glad the heroine is able to show him the kindness of other humans. I found it especially cute when he held her hand and said he really appreciated her teaching him how to touch others🥺 HAHAHA, I love how Tou misunderstood the heroine for wanting to be a man and that’s why she’s dressed as one all the time🤣🤣 I’m surprised he already knew she was a woman though, I thought he would be a little more dense, but I guess he’s an observant guy. I never expected Kasumi to be a puppet! Like, I’m not surprised he was the one who attacked Shinki village etc, but to think he was a puppet that Tou randomly found and fixed over a long period of time was interesting.

Their party before their mission the next day seemed like fun, loved how Mashiro was causing trouble again and getting scolded by Makoto haahaha. On the other hand, it was logical of the heroine to want Tou to socialise with the others but it didn’t need to be done by sacrificing herself to her own loneliness! She could have guided him to talking to the others! But I guess she’s kinda jealous and sad that she won’t be the only one Tou would focus on anymore so she just left the party instead so she didn’t have to see it. Honestly, it’s kinda cute how she’s troubled over it. Omgg, Tou saying he didn’t want to leave Nagasaki because He finally made his first friend (the heroine) here so he doesn’t want to leave her, he’s so adorable!🥺 Btw, I really liked the heroine’s confession, kissing him on the cheek was so sweet~ I actually enjoy how vague Tou is about his feelings, because I feel like it’s pretty natural that he wouldn’t know whether these feelings of his are love or not. He’s spent most of his life avoiding people so he’s barely experienced what friendship and socialising with others is like, let alone romance! Haha. But knowing that the heroine is the only one he wants to touch and feels happy about being kissed by already shows how special she is to him anyway haha.

I love how confused Tou is about what it means to be lovers, and I love how Kou is constantly apologising to the heroine saying he doesn’t know what went wrong when he raised Tou and taught him about human stuff hahahaha. I agree with Sou, should just let things go naturally and I think he’ll eventually come to his own realisation of how it feels to be in love, since really, love isn’t something you can really teach someone, it’s something you’ll experience and feel, and I think Tou will be able to understand as long as his feelings for the heroine remain strong. The kiss was sweet~

Overall, I quite liked Tou. I thought I would dislike him (especially with how things went in the beginning) but he’s actually cuter than I thought, he’s definitely a guy that takes a while to warm up to though hahah, but when he softens up, he’s pretty silly and cute. I think as long as you understand that Tou is only a prickly guy because he’s never really learnt to interact with humans due to his past, you’ll find him more adorable as the story goes on, especially when the heroine influences him into trying harder to mingle with all the others, and it’s also pretty cute how the heroine acted towards Tou. She’s obviously the one who had to initiate everything, but it was sweet to see how he ended up being able to move her heart with how clueless he was haha. It was pretty nice and innocent hahaha.