#so if she acts even a little different in a way i interpret as negative after showing her...

[dandyshucks]

once again trying to decide if i should show counselor/therapist my selfship art bc she asks to see any art I've made that i want to show her each session fjfkdl ,,,, i probably won't because I'm still terrified of being judged for it but mannnnn that rly has been almost all I've made these past two months ( ╥ω╥ )

[yumeka-sxf]

Are we finally heading into the long awaited Desmond arc? 👀 It's hard to say yet, but my first thought upon reading the new chapter was that, like, 9 out of the 23 pages was just awkward silence at the dinner table 😬

Another thing that stood out to me within the first few panels was how different Damian seems at home than at school.

When he's rejected and inconvenienced by Demetrius and Max respectively, he keeps calm and doesn't get mad. On the contrary, he's very understanding and considerate. It's quite different from how he acts in similar situations at school where he's quick to lash out, especially at Anya of course. I'd like to think that what we're seeing in this chapter is more of the "real" Damian; a basically nice kid who longs for a normal childhood with a normal family, but unfortunately was born into the opposite...and because he's not free to openly express his frustration about this due to how uptight and estranged his parents are, he lets out a lot of his negative emotions at school instead. Anya is often the brunt of this due to how often she tries to interact with him in ways that he's not used to.

But anyway, back to the chapter itself, we're also introduced to a new butler at the Desmond house, Mary Jane.

Not sure how prominent of a character she'll be, but the fact that Endo gave her a name (which he doesn't always give to reoccurring characters) makes me think we'll see her again.

We also finally get to see Max and Damian interact. Despite being a German shepherd (I think), I like that Endo made him look distinct from Aaron. Though it seems like he has longish fur...maybe he's a mixed breed? Endo provided this cute illustration along with the chapter release too.

Among all the "Desmond family being awkward at dinner" panels we got, the one that stood out the most to me (and probably others) was this two-page spread.

Showing all of them in separate corners against total darkness, each seemingly in their own little world not looking at any of the others. This is very contrasting to how the Forger family meals are conveyed...

It really makes you wonder - which is the fake family and which is the real family?

A more subtle thing to note about the Desmond dinner is that Melinda never actually eats anything. Throughout all the panels, she's only seen drinking wine and never using her silverware. When she leaves, her plate hasn't been touched.

What I interpret from this based on what we know so far is that she has such an aversion to the Desmond house, and probably Donavan in particular, that she can't even bring herself to eat in his presence.

And lastly, I wanted to touch on the word that Donovan uses when describing the family dinner. In the Japanese version, he uses the word 有意義な which means "significant," "valuable," "useful," "of interest," etc.

I got the impression that Damian doesn't know what that word means, which is why it's written in katakana when he asks Jeeves. He says "Hey Jeeves, what's ユーイギ?"

The English version makes it seem like he knows what the word "worthwhile" means, but not what Donovan meant by it in this situation, so slightly different nuance between the two versions.

That about wraps up my thoughts on the new chapter! Like I said in the beginning, I think it could be leading to a new arc focused on the Desmonds, or it could simply be a standalone chapter, and we'll focus on something else next time. Gotta wait and see~

[yannaryartside]

CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.

AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW

PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES

So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.

In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:

"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them is the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."

When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet. 

Some examples of lies people belive:

"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."

When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way. 

In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others. 

Long post underneath.

THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:

We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."

I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.

But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:

THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC

Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.

It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.

In the scene, Carmy asked,

"What is so hard, Mom?"

I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?

When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.

Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.

This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.

Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.

THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES

According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.

The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:

I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.

This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).

PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH SYDNEY?

Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.

When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."

When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.

Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"

And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currently—they said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.

But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.

In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.

All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.

Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.

[lukolabrainrot]

Firstly thank you so much for your blog. I appreciate your well considered viewpoint and align strongly with your opinions on the current state of the relationship of our favourite couple.

I have been fascinated recently with the different reactions within the fandom to seemingly small events. When I saw the wallpaper on A’s phone I immediately went to a group I’m part of to watch the inevitable meltdown and spiral. As occurs every time a small thing happens there are immediately very different reactions. Those who have always leant to the more negative side of the speculation immediately double down that A and L are still together and it’s absolutely Luke in the photo. From their perspective they are just being realistic and sensible. I firmly believe everybody is entitled to their opinion even if it differs from my own but I don’t believe this view is anymore realistic than mine.

On the other side (which is the side I’m on BTW) L and A have been broken up since at least the Italy birthday trip, the picture is too unclear to confirm anything and even if it is him it tells us nothing about the current state of their relationship.

I’m not really sure what my question is but I guess it’s more an observation about confirmation bias and how we see what we want to see (myself included). From my perspective there is far more to indicate a split than that they still together. I also believe L&N are currently together.

I’ve made a conscious decision to have fun within the fandom. Fun for me is believing the love we saw between L & N is real and they have acted on that. I fully acknowledge that most of what I believe is based on speculation that can be interpreted many different ways. However it is much more fun for me to interpret things in a positive way rather than focussing on the side characters. At the end of the day the only people who know for sure what their relationship status is are L&N and those who actually know them. So why not have fun in our little corner of the internet with the many crumbs N has given us and cheer them on (quietly without being in their personal SM).

Just one final point that has been bothering me is about the Spain photos. For me amidst all this speculation about A being there, palm trees etc there is one thing I’ve never heard mentioned. If she was there and his post was a Latergram why did he take a photo clearly staged to show he was alone. Why would you go on a holiday with your girlfriend and consciously take a photo indicating you’re alone.

Sorry this ended up longer than I thought it would but again thank you for having a space where we can have fun and escape from the realities of the world for a short while.

Thank you Anon, I appreciate it!!

I TRY to keep this space fun and as light hearted as possible.

And I agree, I think if you look at the FULL picture without hyperfixating on one thing, it appears that L/N are likely together atp... I personally think they have probably been together for months by now (but that is just my opinion from what I have seen).

[winstonsns]

could i request something about reader who is a curtis sister, about 12 years old, and she’s like suzy bishop from moonrise kingdom? c: (sorry it’s kinda specific)

the gang and child suzy bishop!reader (request)

authors note: i researched about suzy bishop, and my resources said she’s fierce, angsty and has a temper. so basically, that’s what the reader is like, a curtis sister too. i’m sorry i haven’t been posting at good times, i’ve been very occupied with volunteering at my schools graduation and getting ready for the end of the year. this is my longest post so far!! 💗

includes ponyboy, johnny, soda, darry, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 3.3k

warnings: cussing, blood, fighting, drinking, depression

PONYBOY CURTIS

you and your brother, ponyboy were walking home from school, you two saw a blue mustang, knowing it was a couple of socs

the two of you knew what to do in this situation, so you sped up, trying to get to your house quicker

four of the socs jumped out of the car, the driver still driving

two of them grabbed your arms and two grabbed your brother’s, pinning ponyboy to the ground

he started screaming for his brothers, while you stayed quiet, a knife held to ponyboy’s throat

“motherfucker—“ you mumbled, kicking one of the socs in the shin, forcing both of them to let go of you, kneeing one in the dick and punching his face, he fell to his knees in pain

you kicked the one on your left in the stomach, getting a rock nearby and hitting his face with it, blood dripping down the socs face

the socs that were holding down ponyboy looked at you in fear, looking at each other for a brief second, then you glared at them and ran towards them

the ones who were holding you down ran away to the car, and the socs who were with ponyboy ran when you came towards them

all the socs were gone, and the two of you were safe, you looked at your brother with worry, not blinking, however he thought you were mad at him

you grabbed him by the shirt, lifting him up and continued walking

he eventually caught up to you and said, “thanks, sis..” so you nodded and didn’t say anything else

you were hard to read, and he hated that, he never knew if you cared, and sometimes thought of you like how he thought of darry

pony always wondered if darry loved him, and thought of his ‘cold, pale eyes,’ a way he would describe you at times, cold

since you were ponyboys little brother and were close in age, just a two year difference, the two of you naturally became close

you told each other everything, however it could be a problem sometimes since he was more emotional than you, and at times you hardly showed any feelings

even acting cold towards people if they pissed you off for some reason

you had a temper but tried not to yell at anyone you were close to, not wanting to say something you didn’t mean

but you felt a very wide range of emotions, even very extreme ones like getting angry to the point of hurting others

you were insulted easily, so ponyboy always back you up and stand up for you if someone said something rude, or something you interpreted as disrespectful

you showed your care for your brother in little ways, like helping him with his homework or bringing him a glass of water, slipping money into his pocket when going out, etc

ponyboy loved you even though you were hard to reason with, you had strong opinions and wouldn’t back down from them, if he had to say one negative word that described you, he would say ‘stubborn’

but he loves being around you because of how loyal you are, you would always stand up for others if you truly loved them

JOHNNY CADE

you were with johnny in the lot, talking with each other about some funny things that happened with the gang, him giggling while you kept a straight face

even though he was supposed to be ponyboy’s best friend since they were closer in age, he decided to befriend you so you two could become closer, to understand each other more

he always had a sad look in his eyes, while you had a look that made people think you had no purpose in life, but in a ‘nothing’ type of way

so when johnny told you “oh, uh, your classmate came up to me today. i know you probably don’t wanna hear this, but she made up a rumor about you. said you beat up a first grader or something and that you’re a horrible person..” you bet your ass you were furious

johnny looked at you, both of you still walking around the lot, and your eyes were suddenly filled with hate

“hmm..” you mumbled, not saying anything after, your fists clenched in anger

you didn’t say anything, you didn’t want to burst out at him, so you said, “i think i need some quiet.”

he knew you would say this when you were angry, not wanting to be rude and say something you didn’t mean, so he stayed quiet

a few minutes later, you said “thank you for telling me.” and started up another conversation

he always appreciated how you would thank people, you were polite but were willing to be rude if your friends were being bullied

johnny would always try to invite you to hangouts, and you would always accept, he considered you one of the more mature ones of the group even though you were the youngest

whenever he looked at you, your eyes would be filled with nothing, as if your eyes were dead, and if they weren’t, your eyes would be filled with hate

but he knew you were going through much more, you felt more than how other people felt, emotions were heightened but you didn’t show it

johnny realized you cared about him when you beat up a soc, who was nearly suffocating him, putting the soc in a chokehold and taking him off of your friend

pushing the soc onto the ground, you grabbed johnny by the back of his denim jacket and ran

you were smart, smarter than others and you used your head

he loved that about you, you were loyal, the fact that you were so loyal had scared him too, knowing that if he ever did something to piss you off, you could fuck him up

but you wouldn’t, you cared too much

SODAPOP CURTIS

you and soda were at the DX, you decided to hang out there after school because you wanted to do homework there and read

when you saw soda’s ex girlfriend, you glared at her, hatred in your eyes, a cold gaze on her

“soda, you bitch! you’re so fucking terrible, ugly ass whore, you’re a dumbass too!! you, telling people about how i cheated on you?! this is supposed to be between us, dipshit—“ she got cut off because you punched her in the face

no one else was in the shop, so you felt free to do whatever

“y/n, stop! oh wait no one’s here, never mind.” your brother said

you grabbed her by her hair and dragged her out of the DX, telling her, “don’t fucking diss my brother again, i can do more than just punch you.”

she ran away, tears in her eyes, and you walked back into the DX, a blank expression on your face again

soda asked you why you punched her, you replied with, “she was talking shit about you, did you not hear?” an annoyed tone to your voice

he looked at you and said, “oh, yeah… thanks, sis.”

you nodded and didn’t reply, went back to doing your homework

he admired how you were good at school, better than he ever was, and you were younger than ponyboy

he tried to get closer to you emotionally even though you wouldn’t let many people get close, always pushing them away before you could

you felt empty inside, not in a sad way, but in a ‘whatever’ way, still hoping for something more

that’s how he felt too, and he knew, so he tried to bring you food or hang out with you more so you could feel better

you were so loyal, to the point of hurting someone else if they were rude to the people you were close to

he didn’t know how to describe you, he would see you as cold sometimes, but in the dally type of way

not in the hating everyone type of way, but the protective ‘don’t let anyone in’ way

he would defend you when others would say you’re weird, not just because you were his sister but because he truly cared about you

DARRY CURTIS

you were out, and it was 2am, walking back home

you were previously ‘busy’ at a restaurant, you had snuck in to do homework because you didn’t want to do it at home

you totally lost track of time, and before you knew it, everyone was gone and the outside was dark

you walked home with your backpack, not being nervous even though hardly any light was out, the only source being the street lights

when you were within a block of your house, you saw the lights were on, and you sighed

you walked into the living room and closed the door, seeing darry on the recliner, putting the phone down

he got up and you backed up, speaking loudly, “where the hell have you been!? it’s nearly three, you better have a good reason why you were out. plus, it’s a school night.”

you stared at him, replying with, “i don’t have a good reason why i was out. i was doing homework and lost track of time.”

you didn’t blink, and he started speaking louder, walking towards you slowly with a mad look on his face

you didn’t back up, wanting him to think you didn’t care, but he said, “it’s not safe for you to be outside after dark. you have to be inside, in the damn house by 12. you know what the hell happened to that girl a few blocks down, don’t you? you don’t even have a switchblade in your pocket, how are you gonna protect yourself, huh? huh!?”

your throat closed up and tears slowly formed in your eyes, so you quietly said, “it won’t happen again.” and walked away, your head down, soda looking at you

you went to your room and sat on the bed, staring at the floor, sighing

you felt like darry didn’t care about you sometimes, but you know he did deep down, he was just hard on you because you cared so much

you heard a knock on your door, and the door opened slowly, darry coming into the room

he looked at you for a few seconds, trying to observe you, but knowing it was impossible because you had the same expression all the time, emptiness

“i just get worried about you sometimes, im sorry i… almost yelled at you. i don’t want that to happen again, though.” he said, and you nodded, looking down at the floor again

he walked in your direction, sitting next to you on your bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead, saying, “you’re a good kid, y/n.”

he got up off the bed, walking out the door and going into his own

he would worry about you constantly, never knowing whether you were okay or not

the two of you acted the same at times, both with cold eyes and showed love in difficult ways

he would try to bond with you over homework, he would always check it and congratulate you when you would get it right, baking with you, etc, just so you would maybe show emotion

DALLAS WINSTON

you were at the police station for getting into a fight with one of your classmates, breaking a boy’s nose because he was talking shit about your brother, ponyboy

a policeman told you to call someone, so you called the curtis number, but no one picked up

so you called dally’s number, knowing he had experience in this situation

he answered, and you told him, “dally, can you pick me up at the station?” with a flat voice

he replied with, “i’ll be there in ten.” and hung up

ten minutes later, the doors swung open and he stormed in, asking loudly, “where the hell is y/n curtis?”

a policeman sighed and asked you, “you asked dallas winston to pick you up?” and you nodded, he scoffed and motioned you to go to dally

the two of you walked out of the station, him driving you to your house

“the fuck were you in there for?” he asked with concern

“beat up a kid in my class for talking shit about pony.” you replied, looking out of the window

he nodded, knowing you would get overwhelmed sometimes, causing you to act aggressive

the two of you had that in common, you were fine with beating people up if they were talking shit about someone you knew

he felt bad for you at times, you never looked like you had emotions, and he assumed you had none for a while, you were tough, too tough for your age

he’d try to calm you down at times, even though you were stubborn, so you wouldn’t do anything you’d regret

he cared for you as he cared for johnny, you needed to be loved, like how even dally needed to be loved

TWO-BIT MATTHEWS

he was at the curtis house with the gang when you came in, backpack on and flowers in your hand

“hey sis, how was school?” soda asked, and two-bit teased, “yeah, and why do you have flowers? someone like you, huhhhh???”

“school was fine. i have flowers because a boy gave them to me.” you said, and two-bit ‘oooo’d, “as a joke.” you continued

“shit, you serious? did you beat him up?” he asked, and you nodded, saying you got sent home early

you sat next to him, he was on the couch so you sat on his left, he had chocolate cake on his lap

“want some?” he asked, and you shook your head, knowing you could get more if you wanted some

the two of you stared at the screen of the tv, mickey mouse playing, he laughed and looked at you, seeing your blank expression, not blinking

“you okay?” he asked, taking a pause from watching mickey mouse and eating cake, putting down the fork, looking at you with worry

you nodded, and he asked once again, “you sure? you don’t ever seem to show that much emotion..”

you stared at the tv, saying, “i just don’t feel much sometimes. but you should know i do care. about a lot. i don’t look like i show emotion, im guessing.”

he stared at you, feeling remorse for asking you the question in the first place, apologizing

he always tries to make jokes in order to try to get you to smile or show an expression other than nothing

two-bit realized you cared about him more than he thought when you called him keith, and telling him he should stop drinking, that he might die early and he shouldn’t want being drunk to be his normal

you would talk to him about emotions, even though it was rare, he would always be happy that you were opening up

he understood emotions better than the rest of the gang, which is something you didn’t expect, but you didn’t tell him that

he would give you advice, he had already been through a lot but was a loving person

STEVE RANDLE

steve and soda were at the DX, working while you were secretly in the back, doing your homework

steve was about to go on his break when he went into the back, seeing your back facing him, hearing you writing something

“y/n? the hell are you doing here, shouldn’t you be at home?” he asked

“no one’s home.” you replied, not even looking at him

the conversation ended there, and he walked back to soda, who was at the cashier, telling him about what just happened

“hey, uh, your sisters in the back doing homework. do you know why she’s here?” he asked your brother

he looked at steve, saying, “i’m guessing no one was home. i don’t know why she’s here though.” he looked into the back, seeing you finishing up your packet of homework

steve asked your brother if you were okay, and soda went on a rant, saying, “i have no idea, man.. i feel bad, we don’t talk much. i mean, i know she’s my sister and all but we don’t seem close, like, at all. she doesn’t seem close to anyone.. just does her own thing, but she has a lot of great qualities. she’s a good person, but i really worry about her, man.. she won’t talk to me about things.” he paused, “i know this might seem like a lot, and you don’t have to… but do you think you could talk to her? ask how she’s doing?”

steve thought for a second and nodded, walking into the back and sitting on the counter where you were doing your work

“hey, uh, you okay? i’m getting off work in a bit, i can walk you home.” he hesitantly said

you looked up from your paper, staring at him for a couple seconds and saying, “sure.”

a few minutes later, he came into the back and told you, “hey get packed up, i’ll get you home.”

you grabbed your backpack and walked to the front, soda mumbling a “hey” and bringing you into an embrace, but you didn’t know how to respond

you awkwardly patted his back, and when he let go, you and steve walked home

two girls walked past you, both socs and not where they were supposed to be

they giggled and said, “god, why are they dressed like that? stupid hoods..” and you looked back at them, stopping in your tracks

you made eye contact with one of the girls and walked towards her, punching her in the face, her head going back and her friends eyes going wide, jaw dropping and gasping, hands going over her mouth

she grabbed her friend and the two of them ran back to their car, not looking back at you

you walked back to steve and continued walking to your house, he asked you, “why the fuck did you do that?”

“they were talking shit about us.” you replied, and didn’t say anything else, eyes concentrated on what was around you, observing

he thanked you for standing up for him and yourself, saying you could’ve handled it better though

you looked up and glared at him, looking down and thinking, ‘the fuck else was i supposed to do? i just helped him, god..’ but not saying it out loud

you got frustrated at times, and he understood that well

but that one interaction with you helped him make up his mind, that you were a true friend and were loving

you didn’t consider him a friend, and he didn’t consider you a friend either, but the two of you would protect each other and stand up for each other

authors note: i’m so sorry i’ve been posting late!! i’ve been really occupied but im trying my best to post

[paingoes]

How would Paris have turned out as a person if Sabina had somehow been able to get away (with Paris in tow) from Constantine, and Paris had been raised by his mom and her side of the family, without his dad's involvement? (This is assuming that Constantine somehow couldn't/doesn't go after them.)

augh :,) this answer got long sorry

cw for mentions of rape, domestic abuse, child abuse, familial whump, angst

whenever i think about any “Sabina Lives” AU i always picture it as her still being with Constantine at Thales and i have a pretty good idea of what Paris turns out like there — more conscientious, quieter. raised by his mom but w both of them still living in the same environment w their abuser.

ive never considered an AU where constantine is out of the picture!

i think. its going to be difficult. i imagine they leave at the same time sabina dies in canon, so paris would only be seven.

most of the explicit physical abuse between constantine and sabina tapers off after paris is born. i think by seven he understands that theyre not in love or anything but he doesnt understand that the relationship is abusive. so i dont think hes really going to understand why theyre leaving and sabina is not going to be able to explain it to him in a way thats age appropriate. she really doesnt want to explain it all actually!

this is why its difficult. like in any circumstance paris is just kind of a difficult kid because he has genuine issues w ADHD and mood swings that require a pretty high level of support. these are exacerbated in canon because of how constantine deals w them but they would be there either way. its going to be hard to explain to him why they left in a way that makes sense and so hes really going to interpret it as her having robbed him of being prince!

so in the beginning he’s actually more spoiled and entitled than he was in canon and acts out a lot. but he will adjust to it after he realizes that no amount of complaining will ever get sabina to take him back. and after enough time he also realizes that he isnt constantly holding tension in his body the way he did around constantine so maybe being away from him isnt actually that bad?

anyway he still laments his lost royalty a lot and will complain about it (has no idea how miserable he would have been) but he doesnt have a lot of trouble actually adjusting to provincial life. on the whole hes a lot happier to be around people who he doesnt constantly have to worry about using or backstabbing him. he has cousins in this one :)

once he’s thirteen, sabina tells him everything. he’s definitely a little young to be hearing the whole story but she thinks he can handle it and deserves some explanation for what happened in his early childhood and why her side of the family tends to view him a bit differently.*

Immediate guilt. This immediately recontextualizes Paris’s entire life and he feels really bad about having been so difficult w her about it before. He becomes a lot more protective of her after this and really hates his father. this is the kind of knowledge that basically permanently distinguishes you from other people your age so paris is going to be a bit more emotionally mature and empathetic. gets called an “old soul”. lol :(

but the overall answer is that he ends up a lot more mellow and probably more intelligent/empathetic.

*Selene is a bit cold to Paris in canon because he is Constantine’s son and he’s a product of rape. In canon she is more or less justified in viewing Paris as being like Constantine because he has perpetuated that same cycle of abuse against Delta and carried out the imperial will. But even if he hadn’t, she’d still feel negatively towards him. But this really only extends to Selene and a few other adults in the family. Selene’s kids are cool with him and she doesn’t prevent them from playing together. She just keeps an eye on Paris when they do.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

The Amanda Fic Lore

So you know how the games slowly reveal more about the character’s real lives as the tapes go on. Well unfortunately, I have no idea what the third, fourth or any other number of games in this series are going to do. So for my Amanda fic series, I’m going to make up my own lore. (mostly based on my interpretations of the characters so a lot of these are going to be similar to that post). I guess you could think of this as an AU cuz I’ll probably never get everything right. Just so you know I may edit this when I come up with more ideas.

Spoilers for the fics ig

Amanda: (We know plenty about her already so she’s not going to be that much different from the game.)

Rebecca Colton. 

Had morbid interests as a child long before Hameln.

Has a dark sense of humor

As Rebecca, she was genuinely a ray of sunshine to be around. (Even with morbid interests). 

Secretly has a dark sense of humor

Very adventurous 

Does not like her plans being changed

Loves to draw (we see it multiple times).

Has had past trauma before Hameln even entered the picture (Sam's despite what she's been through in reference to her adoption). 

Has some varying level of interest in goth/emo/punk style.

She doesn’t resent Sam. 

Wants to keep her memories of Sam and Kate close.

I saw a theory that maybe Rebecca was trying to get Sam and Kate together like maybe there were some sparks flying there. I really like that so it might be canon in this universe. 

She’s starting to lose hope that she’s going to escape. 

Starting to slowly trust Wooly again and be his friend again. 

Trying to learn to control her anger issues. 

The Amanda wiki says she is 7-8 years old. So that’s the age we’re gonna stick with for when she got stuck in the tapes. I’m going to go with 8.

Wooly: (I think it would be interesting if his human life was the opposite of Amandas.) 

Slowly developing anger issues (lol) 

Based on reader suggestions, human name for this fic series will be William Scott.

Was ten years old when trapped. A child actor like Amanda, has been working with Hameln longer than her. 

Was a child of a single mother who never wanted children. She tried to be loving at first but eventually gave up. Spends most of her time working or away. He ended up being a parentified older sibling and that’s why he acts so “mature” and seems so worried about safety. She ended up signing off his soul to Hameln in order to make money and basically get rid of him. So he has a bit of abandonment issues. 

He had a little sister, never saw her again after being sold off to Hameln. Doesn’t know if she met the same fate. They were very close. Amanda reminds him of her sometimes, even though they were very different. EDIT: You know what? Maybe it's cuz I really like angst, but what if Wooly's sister passed away instead? Like prior to Wooly being sent to Hameln. Like maybe in some sort of accident while they were playing when their mom wasn't home?)

Slowly remembering his past life (way slower than Amanda because he doesn’t want to remember). 

Doesn’t think they can escape.

Not exactly loyal to Hameln, but terrified of what will happen if they disobey. Slowly starting to not care anymore. 

Bottles up every negative emotion but is getting to a point where he can’t hold it in anymore. 

Starting to become more rebellious

Slowly repairing his relationship with Amanda

Hates being alone. 

Will avoid talking about uncomfortable subjects at all costs. Tends to be a bit controlling. 

His intentions are good. But let us remember what they say. The road to hell was paved with good intentions. 

He seems to be that one goody-two shoes friend in a friend group that's like: "We shouldn't do this." Even if it's objectively not that bad. 

Prone to panic or anxiety attacks.

And how do we feel about adding in the autistic head canon?

The Narrator is Sam

The "Owl" uses prerecorded voice lines of Kate, but cannot say anything else and isn't actually Kate. Why is she an owl? We'll have to wait and see...

Over time the more Amanda learns about Wooly the less afraid of her the demon will become.

Also, I think Wooly's demon will become less violent the less he keeps bottling things up. But it'll get worse before it gets better.

Once I get a couple tapes written I’m going to put them in an order that makes sense like some post that will be linked in the pinned post or whatever. But for now I’m gonna write them as the ideas come to me. If you have any Amanda fic lore to suggest, let me know. If I find it interesting I’ll add it in. 

Also these fics are completely separate from the School Shopping fic. 

As I said before, this isn’t necessarily what I think will happen in the games, it’s just some placeholder lore for me to use to build them around.

[stealerofthe2ndbraincell]

In9 rant incoming.

For some god forbid reason, the rats in my brain have connected my thoughts after watching Arcane S2 to one episode of IN9 that I recently rewatched, Tempting Fate, so I'm going to ramble a little.

I've seen differing interpretations of Nick's wish at the very end to help Keith's son.

Mainly about whether or not he had malicious intentions behind it.

Throughout the story, he remains the most vigilant in regards to not making silly wishes because, unlike Maz and especially Keith, he is aware of the massive negative repercussions. He's the first to connect what happened to Frank to the wishes and remains firm on not risking a wish at all. So he should know that wishing anything for Charlie would backfire and harm potentially him and Keith.

(Although, it is ironic that 2/3 of their wishes were made by him)

Not only that, but Nick doesn't have any reason to want to be nice to Keith at this point, with this line only muddling things further.

By this point he's seen Keith attempt to steal £93,000 that Nick knows (and keeps on trying to tell him) is cursed, witnesses him completely roll over and ignore his colleagues death, finds out he's a literal murderer who proceeded to attempt to kill him in a frankly cruel manner (using his alcoholism against him and pouring some into his unconscious mouth to frame Maz's and his own death as a drunken accident that leads to a gas leak (implying he was willing to blow him up in the process)).

At this point, Nick has been lied to and betrayed by a friend of 12 years in such a significant way that it seems wild for his wish to be made out of sincere care for Keith.

However, what I find most interesting about this scene is how clearly out of it Nick is when he breaks the news.

Granted I don't think the drink would have that much of an influence, but you know what would: being smashed directly on the head by a bloody rabbit statue a few minutes beforehand.

From the slurred speech, breaks in breath and general body language, Nick is concussed at the very least.

Now this isn't me siding as to whether or not he intended to hurt Keith and Charlie, the former making the act kind of cruel once again if on purpose, but I don't think it's out of the question that it was done with some semblance of hope.

Not only did he discover and witness all the awful things Keith was willing to do and had done, but he had also seen how all of it was focused on Charlie's recovery. He went to Frank so he could afford the treatment required, he stole the money later for the very same and he got over Maz's death so quickly because he had that money as his top priority. The problem was that Keith wouldn't listen when he told him that money was cursed.

He also doesn't have full faith that all wishes will screw you over as well.

Even back with Maz, he attempts to think of safe and harmless ways the wishes could be used when she wishes for "not too much, but enough to make a difference" amounts of money.

Although Nick states that every wish backfires, he hasn't lost all faith in the idea that they could do good and not cause immense levels of harm.

That still present faith, awareness of how far Keith was willing to go for his son, alongside how clearly not in a decision making state he was in at the end of the story, I think paints a different perspective. Specifically one where he could have genuinely and sincerely wished Charlie back to health potentially for Keith.

Whilst I still think, especially with the "it's what you deserve" line, that Nick could have definitely had cruel intentions wishing to help Charlie, I really like how ambiguous the episode leaves it.

[beehawk4]

i read lu-is-not-okay's sin analysis guide and it made me think about outis some more (mainly base outis)

TL;DR for the guide: Each sin's meaning is likely different from the mainstream interpretation of them (e.g. Lust does not necessarily mean being horny), and an identity's skills represent the layers of their psyche (With s1 being the surface layer and s3 being the deepest layer of the mind)

I should note that this draws from my previous theory of Outis's story so it might be needed to check that out to clear any confusion. Also, since Outis's story isn't going to be released for a very long time, this is really just conjecture.

Anyway...

Outis has a sloth s1 (Pulled Blade), a pride s2 (Backslash), and a gloom s3 (Piercing Thrust), right?

Going by the guide, Sloth S1 represents Outis's resignation to her circumstances. She's given up on hopes of ever returning home after the Smoke War, believing it to be totally impossible.

Pride S2 likely alludes to a fatal mistake Outis made out of hubris during the Smoke War, one that could possibly even be the reason why she cannot return home. Since we don't have her story yet, this is more based off of Outis's source material.

In The Iliad, the protagonist Odysseus had been captured by a giant called Polyphemus. When he demanded his name, Odysseus told him his name was "Ουτις" (Outis), which means 'nothing' in Greek. Odysseus later blinded the giant, who screamed "Outis (nobody) is killing me!" (and thus leading the other giants to ignore his pleas) and allowed them to escape.

However, before leaving, Odysseus revealed his true name to Polyphemus in an act of hubris, taunting him. As a result, Polyphemus was able to pray to his father Poseidon to curse Odysseus to “[never] reach his native land, to [never] come once more to his own house and see his friends again” and to “let him come late, in evil plight, with all his comrades dead, in someone else's ship, and find troubles in his household."

Sounds pretty familiar to Outis's predicament, right?

Afterwards, gaining a grudge against Odysseus, Poseidon began sabotaging Odysseus's journey. All of which would have been prevented had Odysseus's arrogance not gotten the best of him.

Returning to Limbus Company Outis, I feel like Pride S2 would represent her invoking catastrophe the same way as Odysseus -- in an act of arrogance, she will make a huge mistake with terrible consequences (perhaps being the reason why she cannot return home?). Could be her revealing her identity to the enemy to brag -> said enemy pulls a few strings and finds a way to prevent her from returning home, or it could be something less 1-to-1 with The Iliad. Either way, the skill would allude to her ignoring the consequences of her actions in that one moment.

Alternatively, it could refer to her participating in the Smoke War, not quite aware of the potential consequences that could result from leaving her home.

Finally, Gloom S3. This one is a bit hard to pin down with actual evidence because, again, we know very little about Outis's actual past. Additionally, nothing really suggests that Outis is "overwhelmed" with negative emotions at the time of this post. In fact, she's known for being the most rational and collected sinner, despite her obsequious attitude towards Dante. (There's probably something from The Iliad that I could connect to here, but I honestly don't know that much about the epic.)

That being said, I imagine it'd have something to do with regret. Whatever conceited mistake Outis made came back to bite her in the ass, and now she can never return home to those that wait for her. Indeed, she would definitely dwell on her unfortunate circumstances even if she is resigned to them. "If only I hadn't let my hubris get the better of me."

As for appearing rational and seeming the exact opposite of "overwhelmed with negative emotions"...

I have nothing to support this, but it's possible that Outis's implied duplicity through her sycophantic behavior towards Dante is a front. She's well aware that all of the other Sinners and Vergil think she's going to backstab them at any moment -- that's the point of it. It's a smokescreen to cover up how she actually feels, which is intense lament due to being unable to see her loved ones ever again.

That doesn't necessarily mean said treachery is "fake", since she could still backstab them (although you could argue that if she really did want to betray them, she wouldn't make it so obvious). It's just that she intentionally uses said sycophancy and hints of disloyalty, however genuine they may be, to mask her actual issues and her past.

[sbtorms]

Y'all know how Sunsetter is, like... my Underswap take of sorts? Well, I've recently been working on ideas for an Underfell take of sorts as well, with my own little twists.

Well, it's... kinda an Underfell take. Just a bit different in... a lot of ways.

I made up the name as I'm typing this, because I didn't have a name beforehand.

RED HAZE: Tale Of The Fallen

(or just "Red Haze")

This take has a lot of differences from the usual interpretation, including changing appearances... more than just details and clothing.

(Do note that the main cast would have different names from their Undertale counterparts. But since I can't think of any ideas for now, and also to prevent confusion, I'm just using the original names.)

Unlike in Undertale, there is no barrier keeping monsterkind from going to the surface. Hell, there isn't a mountain at all. Instead, monsterkind resides in a magically imbued forest, with only one way to leave, while entering gets one endlessly lost.

Asgore simply is biding his time, getting the souls of seven humans, to become godlike, and to wipe out humanity. No monster tries to go after Asgore, or even question his methods. Some act this way out of fear of what he could do, others that are for him and for his plan, and then the few that don't care either way.

The "routes" are named somewhat differently from what people usually call Undertale's

Path of Solace - ("Pacifist" Route) Path of Choices - ("Neutral" Routes) Path of Exploit - ("Genocide" Route)

“* You brush aside the agony.”

- this take's replacement for being "filled with determination"

AGONY is a haze that leaks from broken souls, with more of it depending how much negative energy one has when they die. It mentally and physically affects those who breathe it in. Naturally, it opposes the power of Determination, as that power does to it, destroying each other until one remains or there's nothing left. But, with enough focus, perhaps one could use both as one. Such a concept would be a focus of the Path of Exploit, specifically regarding both Undyne and Frisk.

Time for the cast!

Frisk and Chara

Admittedly, I didn't think much besides design-wise for these goobers. It's probably just that Frisk is more tired than usual and Chara was used as a sacrifice to the monsters in a failed attempt at a peace offering by humanity, actually got sick instead of it being planned, and yada-yada Asriel soul absorption and death. ...okay, maybe I thought a little for Chara. But not too much for Frisk.

The shirt patterns here are probably obviously Yumi Nikki inspired, despite the fact that I know nothing about the game itself besides some characters, lol.

The Dreemurrs (Toriel, Asgore, and Asriel)

Similar to canon Underfell, Toriel is what started this entire take concept to begin with. The idea stemmed from "what if the dreemurr family had biblically accurate angel imagery (eyes and wheels) instead of devil imagery (goats, fire, trident, y'know)?" And then I added "black sheep" into that, so that's what I ended up with.

Toriel is very fearful of humans, instead of a caretaker, running away and attacking when cornered. She uses what power she has to keep herself alone, not wanting to be emotionally tied and hurt again. (She's my favorite in the cast :3)

Asgore has been particularly affected by the AGONY of the many fallen children that died by his hand, becoming almost a tyrant, with only some of his original personality fading in and out.

Asriel is... actually not too different from canon Asriel, considering he died before everything really kicked off.

Flowey is a small mass/hivemind of bundled flowers, tied together like a "rat king". Each flower has only small snippets of past memories as Asriel, as well its own "personality", splitting Undertale Flowey’s personality into six pieces. They try to help Frisk get through the area, due to how unsafe it is. Whether they have their own goals remains to be seen.

The Blooks are shadow spirits instead of simple ghosts.

Napstablook is somewhat the same as in Undertale, other than the visual changes. Though, due to the circumstances, they’d have a bit more of an issue with their emotional state, bottling up their feelings, usually until such bursts when they can’t take it anymore.

Mettaton possesses many types of machinery, instead of just his singular body. In a way, this is due to the fact that he cannot decide on a single one.

The Ruins Dummy ghost is instead possessing a box and works as how items travel between boxes throughout the areas.

Maddie (aka "Mad Dummy" or "Mad Mew Mew" in Undertale, Maddie is sorta just a fandom nickname i think) basically acts like canon, but also a Mimic in a way, also possessing a box.

There would also be a secret boss fight against both Mettaton and Maddie, replacing Undertale's "Mad Mew Mew" one, with one where the two are trying to share the same body. The goal is to get the two to get along and work together… or just straight up destroy the body.

The Skelebros are instead lost spirits, seemingly of their original counterparts in some way...

Papyrus's goal is the same as his original, but instead in hopes of finally passing on, instead of joining a "Royal Guard". In reality, he knows he's never gonna pass on, but is in constant denial of such.

Sans, however, seems to have accepted and adapted to his “life”, and just wants to follow after his brother with whatever happens to him. He also likes dark humor, because of course he does.

The "Royal Guard" replacement is instead a cult that Undyne leads (and used to be led by Gerson), with a focus on a so-called prophecy, and using AGONY for what they see as a good thing. While they seem to be against King Asgore, it's more or less that they want him back to how he was before everything happened.

Undyne is a hooded guide throughout Waterfall (or whatever it'd be called in the take). She'd still be a fishlike monster, perhaps siren-like or anglerfish-like... or both. She protects the harmless from a gang of young monsters, led by Monster Kid.

Alphys is still the Royal Scientist, but also some form of background security in a way. She has an abundance of hidden cameras all throughout the Underground. She uses her vision across the areas for many reasons. Blackmail, catching traitors in the act, sometimes just... watching. Some monsters, especially many in the cult, have become evasive enough to miraculously avoid her gaze.

Her appearance is a bit more more based on that one beta design by Tuyoki.

[mirandasidefics]

Do u think the inner cricle is the type to be racist towards humans

This is an interesting question!

This kind of got away from me and I don't have my books readily available to provide a more in-depth analysis, so this is very generalized and surface level thought based on my understanding/interpretation of the characters.

Disclaimer: THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. If you don't agree with it that is fine. I'm open to a healthy and mature discussion on the matter, but outright negative comments will not be tolerated.

We know that in canon the Night Court fought in favor of human rights and freedom. However, we don't know what Keir's and the Illyrian's perspective is about humans and what their motivations were for agreeing to fight (if they fought, I can't remember now). This is especially important since some members of the Illyrian's and CoN sided with Amarantha when she became High Queen. Given what we do know regarding the internal structure of each of those territories, I do not see them thinking highly of humans and thinking they are inferior to even the lesser fae. It's more likely that they were just following the command of Rhysand's father, whose motivations for fighting for the humans are honestly not very clear to me (again I have to reread). While the IC wasn't in power for this war, I think that it did shape their beliefs when it comes to humans.

I don't believe that any of them have an outright hatred of humans, nor do I believe that they would intentionally cause any of them harm. However, I do see them treating humans differently due to unconscious biases.

This could come out in a variety of ways. Such as the way they speak to humans that they determine are not useful or provide any benefit to their own agendas. They believe that humans are more fragile and so are limited in how they could be beneficial to the Night Court or Prythian at large (Despite the aid that the human armies provided during the war with Hybern at the end of ACOWAR). They may also consider humans are not as trustworthy given the long-standing hate ingrained in humans throughout their lives. Understandably so as it is mentioned several times throughout the canon. I feel that the IC may think that humans are not as knowledgeable about worldly matters given that their lives are so short and therefore lack a certain amount of experience. So, with this in mind the IC may not really value the input of the humans on important matters regarding the new treaty. (Granted I think the IC acts this way towards select Fae as well). I think they would really only listen to Jurian and Vassa, but since they are not your average humans the IC would have a bit more respect for them as it were.

If any humans were to seek refuge in the Fae lands of Prythian, I don't believe that members of the IC would open their boarders. This would really highlight any negative beliefs about humans. I can see the IC claiming that, outside of Velaris, the night court is not safe (read- misogyny in the CoN and Illyria). And we know that Rhysand is already highly protective of Velaris. I feel that this would be increased after the attack on the Rainbow. I do feel that most of the IC members are hypocrites to some extent, so they would likely try to make the argument that select other courts are safer for humans and therefore would try to convince those courts to allow the human refugees. (Summer, Winter, Dawn, and Day).

Some other little biases they may have include the believe that humans are greedy and deceitful, and that to an extent the human "heart" (read capacity for compassion and empathy) could be a weakness. Even though Rhysand praised Feyre for these traits, I could the rest of the IC seeing it as a liability under certain circumstances.

TL:DR- Do I think the IC is racist towards humans? No. Do I think that they have negative biases about humans that stem from historical racism in ACOTAR canon? Absolutely.

[cy-cyborg]

Maybe I just didn't see it because I was trying to avoid spoilers, but I'm kind of shocked at how much disability rep is in Baldur's Gate 3. Both in the way of the main cast and just casually in the NPC's and background characters - and I've only just gotten to that party scene in act one (I keep restarting because there's so many things I want to try with different characters lol)

So far I've encountered Wyll (prosthetic eye - and he actually refers to it as such which is personally a big deal to me, fantasy settings almost never use the word prosthetic unless it has a negative connotation), Karlach (heavy scarring and maybe her heart, depending on how you want to interpret that, she also seems to stim a lot in her idle animation/is very blunt and could possibly be read as either autistic or ADHD), and the two little teifling kids, Mol (missing one of her eyes/scarring on her face) and Donnie (non-verbal and probably autistic, based on the narrator's description of how he seems to find eye-contact painful/won't look at you). Very early and minor spoiler, but tav can also loose their eye, which you and wyll can bond over lol.

Not to mention the character's who are coded as disabled like Gale (who's curse seems to function enough like a disability/chronic illness that I'd consider him disabled within the context of the world, and it seems other characters do too).

Like I said, I'm not very far into the game and that's already 5, possibly 6 depending on player choices. I also considered adding Shadowheart to the list for chronic pain, but I haven't progressed her story enough to see where that's going yet, so for now I'm not including her. Are they all good rep? honestly, it's not bad. not great, but overall, not bad as far as games go. There's a few issues I've noticed (outside of gale and karlach, they don't seem to impact the main characters much, and tav instantly gets a magic cure-type prosthetic - though ironically mine seems to be bugged and isn't working, so I'm not getting the buff its supposed to give you lol) but it's leagues ahead of other fantasy rpg's I've played which mostly relegates any disabled folks to npc beggars.

Honestly, just the number alone, combined with the fact that none of them have been turned into sob-stories or even feel forced is a big plus in my book. They just exist like every other character, playable or otherwise. That on it's own is just refreshing.

[spookyrobbins]

“for those of you who followed me bc of agathario, i feel obliged to let you know that first and foremost, it’s all about arizona robbins for me”. How is that loving them both equally? Why is it so hard to accept the fact that you’re an arizona stan who (for some odd reason) ships calzona. I would never ship my favorite character with someone i dislike so much, let alone write fanfics about my favorite character with the character that is such a monster to her and doesn’t deserve her.

i mean i posted that after i had posted a bunch about arizona so that’s what that was specifically referencing, i promise you it’s not that deep

and yes i do ship calzona. i love calzona. i love both callie and arizona and all of their various flaws. that’s what makes them fun and interesting. i genuinely don’t dislike callie, in fact quite the opposite. i don’t think taking a look at someone’s flaws means you dislike them. i certainly don’t think callie’s a monster. i think they both at different points in time made mistakes in their relationship and hurt each other to varying degrees and i highly doubt im the only one who thinks that. neither one of them is perfect and i don’t expect them to be

since i’ve apparently been unconscionably cruel to callie, here’s some highlighting of arizonas flaws:

she’s a fundamentally insecure person imo. yes she talks a big game and claims not to be insecure but very few people would say they’re insecure or flawed. arizona is insecure though and i think it often leads her to be distrustful.

she’s almost always the source of calzona’s communication issues as she bottles up her emotions. she seemingly thinks callie will be able to read her mind or something. and early on she does seem to be more aware of this - when they have the mini fight about george she talks about not understanding things - but with time and more trauma she stops communicating well with callie and things just break down from there

she never really apologizes for the cheating at least not on camera. i’d like to think that she would have off camera etc but for arguments sake lets say she didn’t. now i don’t think that arizona didn’t regret the cheating, didn’t hate herself for it, but i think arizona is a bit of a coward and avoids conflict like the plague until pushed to the absolute edge so i think there’s an argument to made that arizona might never have worked up the nerve to apologize especially considering how little she and callie spoke afterwards. this circles back to arizonas communication issues and she’s really just entirely avoidant about a variety of things

let’s take a look at the sleeping with leah which i’d almost argue is worse than the original cheating: for starters, the power imbalance is fucked up (just as it always is when attendings fuck around with residents) it’s also fucked up that arizona even goes down this path at all - although i am inclined to think that arizona really thought they’re marriage was over before then but as stated above she’s a bit of a coward and wasn’t willing to actually verbalize that to callie

that’s just off the top of my head but there’s absolutely more and none of that means i don’t like arizona just like talking about callie doesn’t mean i don’t like callie

i do want to clear something up - when i talk about calzona being from callie’s pov and how that negatively affects arizonas character, that’s not a criticism of callie, it’s not even really a criticism of the show. it’s an ensemble show and ofc some characters get more screen time than others. my point primarily is that arizonas really underdeveloped and because we are almost always presented with callie’s viewpoint, it’s natural that as viewers we empathize more with callie bc she simply makes more coherent sense. we understand the majority of the time why callie’s acting the way she is but with arizona frequently it’s open to interpretation and we don’t always know where arizonas coming from.

i think that’s also why it’s interesting to discuss callie’s flaws bc she is essentially the main character in their storylines and there’s a lot of really under discussed aspects. a lot of time and energy has been spent on arizonas many mistakes and flaws and rightfully so but just bc arizona made mistakes doesn’t mean callie didn’t also make mistakes. and frankly i love their mistakes bc that’s what makes them fun and interesting. if they were just perfect all the time i can’t imagine any of us would be that invested

and yes i do really think that they are the best person for each other. i think they understand and love each other in a way no one else can. and i think it does sort of cut both ways. when they’re good, they’re amazing but they can also hurt each other unlike anyone else. i don’t think that’s only a bad thing it just means that they love each other so deeply that there’s a risk involved.

once again, i don’t think callie’s a monster (have i ever said that?) i don’t think arizonas an angel. next time i make a jokey post about the content i post on twt ill make sure to make that distinction.

but also, let me just say this, if you don’t like the content i post, you don’t need to follow me or read my work or whatever way you’re engaging with me. if im not your cup of tea that’s totally fine! i’m always more than happy to have discussions with any and everyone but we both need to come from a place of good faith. i write for calzona bc i adore them and enjoy writing about them. trust me when i say i wouldn’t have written as much as i have if i didn’t genuinely love both of them.

[cbusch]

So this week I went to see Joker: Folie a deux as I loved the 2019 Joker movie, which was filled with dark, grisly themes and violence that matched to the Joker’s persona. I heard some negative reviews about this and even my family members didn’t want to see the film because of those reviews. However, as a movie goer, I like to keep my mind open as I know I don’t share the same opinions as Rotten Tomatoes. After seeing this film, I’m glad I ignored the reviews and went to see this movie as a I had an enjoyable time in the theater.

Cinametography: The camera work was the biggest piece for me as each angle perfectly captured the character’s emotions, thoughts, and gave significant symbolism to what would happen down the road. The angles from the far side of the courtroom as if we’re the jury to Arthur Fleck’s trial to up close, seeing the thoughts racing through the witnesses head as well as the prosecutor (who had such a punchable face, but still) to the defense. We can feel the energy move up to which the viewers can understand the severity of the situation. My favorite type of camera work was when (Spoiler) Lee Quincey visits Arthur in jail, she takes some lipstick and draws a smile on the glass to resemble the Joker’s smile and when Arthur turned his head to match the spot of the lipstick, it sent chills down my spine as it showed that the Joker persona was taking over more and more and set up for the next part of the film from the prison to the courtroom, it made me weary of what was going to happen next and how Arthur/Joker was going to cope with the remaining of his trial.

Score: Now since this is a musical, there was more of upbeat tone to this film while also keeping the same dark tone of the original movie. However, apart from the musical numbers (which I will talk about in a little bit briefly since a lot of that has to do with the direction they decided to go with Joker and major spoilers are involved so out of respect won’t go too much into detail about that). However, the score really set up the pace of each scene. The score shows its poker face as we never know what to expect. The way I interpreted this was to show how Arthur was going to do next. From the low music and having the tempo rapidly speed up never knew what was going to happen. Score played a huge part of this movie as it surprised me. Something that might’ve been grisly didn’t turn out to be as the score played tricks on me and personally I loved it as I didn’t know what to expect and made me want to continue watching to see what would happen to Arthur and Lee.

Musical Numbers: Now I’m in the minority when it comes to musicals as I love them. So, this movie taking a different direction with this being a thriller/courtroom/musical movie focusing on the villain was personally creative. I can understand why some people are hesitant, but come on you can’t have a movie with Lady Gaga and not have her sing! It would be an injustice to her as an artist. The musical numbers were creative and gave a lot of insight to how the Joker persona was going to play a significant role in the movie and affect Arthur. Each number sets up a significant symbolic tone to what will happen to our characters down the road. Plus, the numbers are catchy as in the movie theater I was dancing a little to the songs and tapping my hand softly against my thigh, enjoying the beat of the songs. The musical numbers had that fantasy-esque feeling to it but at times was shocked to certain aspects of his fantasy where reality of the grisly world of his reality mixed in with his Joker persona numbers. I’ll spare sharing what happens in a lot of the musical numbers as they contain spoilers and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone who reads this and wants to see the film for themselves. Anyway, for any musical doubters, the songs do help the story move along and understand different layers of the the Joker persona as well as Arthur Fleck.

Acting/Characters: Once again, Joaquin Phoenix puts in a fantastic performance as Arthur Fleck/Joker. The subtle movements in his facial and physical expressions allows us the viewers to guess where he is going to go with the scene, unaware of his actions as he is often known for being unpredictable. The acting of Phoenix was perfected to a tee and shows the dedication he puts into understanding the complexities of a character such as Arthur Fleck. In my opinion, he was born to play this role. Lady Gaga was also a perfect introduction to Harleen “Lee” Quinzel. The balance of insanity, manipulation, and love she has for Arthur was blended in together. Deep down, I love the changes they made to how they met while still keeping true to the original characterization of the characters. Gaga and Phoenix’s chemistry works with the right amount of insanity, love, and heartbreak which down the road broke my heart as it meant for these characters to be alone. Not so much for Harleen Quinzel as they added a manipulative layer to her character compared to other interpretations of Harley Quinn, which left we shocked and heartbroken for Arthur Fleck. The characters felt fleshed out and raw, which is very rare to see in movies with the same stories with heroes and villains. Making villains sympathetic is never easy and the way they were able to make Harleeen and Arthur sympathetic while not excusing the actions they committed felt brilliant.

Downsides: While I did have an enjoyable time in the theater, there were some downsides to the movie. Pacing was one of the main problems in the film. In the beginning, they droned on and on with the prison scenes as we saw the day to day life of what Arthur goes through at Arkham State Hospital and the guards that are constantly abusing there power. It was slow at times, however they wanted us to understand how some guards in that state of power abuse the prisoners/patients int hose facilities. They’re so busy with their position, that deep down they forget that these are human beings with feelings and issues that are too complex for them to understand. Again, if you see this film and these scenes, maybe you have a different understanding than me with what Phillips was trying to show us. If so, leave your comments below.

There was also a plot hole as they mentioned in the scene, where my favorite cinematography scene was sort of ruined by the lines Harleen told Arthur. (Spare you from telling as it’s a spoiler and I don’t like spoiling the film for people that have interest in seeing the film).

Overall, I don’t understand the hate for this film. However people’s opinions are different but we still shouldn’t based our judgement on a film based on a review. If you want to see this film, great. If you don’t, that’s okay as well but the decision should ultimately be up to you and not anyone else. Again, this is my personal opinion and if you liked this film, let me know in the comments below! Thanks for reading this review!

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

What does Éminence Grise's Darkling think of Alina?

OMG idk if it’s a formatting error or a tumblr glitch but the bold is killing me So we have established that this is not a formatting error and actually I love that more 😂😂

I find this surprisingly difficult to answer, because I keep falling back on describing the relationship/how he actually treats Alina as opposed to his thoughts. His thoughts are trickier to articulate because he has multiple levels of bias going on.

The fic is set an ambiguous number of years after when S&B takes place but with the big difference that the stag never was in imminent danger of being found and therefore Baghra never did the thing. Alina never ran away, and they never had a big gloves off, falling out.

A lot of my typical interpretation of Alarkling as a ship, and how I view his feelings about her, hinge on him having preconceived expectations that don’t really match her personality. But I do think, as the series progresses, who she really is and how that surprises and confounds him, solidifies their dynamic and does make him more wretchedly obsessed lol. There’s some cognitive dissonance between the sort of white knuckle control he wants, and what he actually responds to as a person.

This fic is basically a scenario where he’s been able to get to know her under far less dramatic circumstances, and has had several years to try to force her into his preferred mold. And before the actual events of the fic, I think he’s basically been as successful as he can possibly get?

His standards are simply unattainable, and he’s baseline moody and inconsistent, but he has pretty much eroded nearly all of her boundaries. She is entirely emotionally dependent on him, though she’s mostly content to let him be cold to her and keep her at arm’s length. His values are the main standard she holds herself to— both simply because they are his, and his good opinion is practically the only one that matters to her, but over time she has genuinely absorbed a lot of his opinions. She appears to be fully content to remain within the constraints of the power dynamics of their relationship, where she’s basically forever a pupil learning at his feet. If they disagree— which they basically have not in any material way, they’re fighting in the story rn but it’s not really been disagreement— she’s learned to capitulate and assume she’s incorrect. Their primary conflicts stem from his inconsistency and temper, which she’s learned to mostly just wait out.

So in short, he thinks the relationship is going great! Or at least that it has been until the engagement nonsense that will obviously blow over soon. (lol. lmao)

Moving past their dynamic in practice to what he actually thinks of her, I think he primarily thinks of her, very simply, as his. That possessive element is the defining aspect. She’s his like girlfriend-protégée, diamond in the rough who isn’t anywhere near her final state yet. She’s only in her malleable first century or whatever, like she barely even counts as a fully formed person yet ajdjfhffd

He likes her, and has genuine rapport with her— I think that’s something that exists in canon. And while I cannot speak to the success of it, I’ve definitely tried to write them here with a lot of genuine familiarity and intimacy. I think he’s already pretty damn emotionally compromised, but from his own point of view he’d only really allow that he’s fond of her and feels indulgent of her youth/willfulness/silliness etc. But at the end of the day, he mostly thinks of her as something that is his to mold.

She asks him in one of the recent-ish chapters whether her feelings matter to him, and… basically they do not tbh. She has been literally trying to break up with him for multiple chapters and her input matters little enough that he’s not even actually registering it!

What he’s responding negatively to is more that she’s acting in ways he doesn’t like, that she seems genuinely invested in her engagement, and that she’s actually holding a grudge when he treats her poorly. She’s also completely correct in surmising that he’s so cold to her mostly because he is feeling jealous, and insecure, and wants to hurt her just to know that he can, as proof that she loves him and can be hurt by him. He’s only comfortable with a dynamic that’s dramatically in his favor. So being on any sort of emotionally even footing, let alone uneven in her favor, where he would be the one feeling jealous, results in him lashing out at her to “get even.”

But he’s not genuinely internalizing that she wants to end their relationship, that that is something she can even do or have a say in. He just doesn’t take it seriously enough to even get mad about it.

Anyway, this is something that’s not really specified in canon, and seems to be easy to interpret either way, but Grisha longevity seems to hinge on how much power they have. And S&B seems to imply Alina actually isn’t that powerful before the amplifiers. So for the purposes of this fic, to lean into the fundamentally transformative nature of his designs on her, Alina isn’t immortal on her own, and they both know this. Without the stag, she could have a, not necessarily ordinary, but at least uh… fathomable life, that’s probably somewhat long lived, but not anything that’s unheard of for Grisha. But he’s planning to elevate her to basically an immortal, unknowable state, that is going to inherently cut her off from all former, mortal, peers— because he also assumes there’s no merit in forming any real attachments if everyone you know will die in the blink of an eye. I don’t think Alina would necessarily reach that conclusion? But we’re talking about what he thinks.

Meanwhile, I want to stress that immortality has not been a particularly positive experience for him! He might think it’s genuinely an honor to elevate someone like that, that she should be grateful for it, but it’s also not not a cruel act, even from his own perspective. And that’s of course not even getting into how he very much stil intends to kill the stag himself so that he can take control of the amplifier, and her power.

[abesetacringe]

Can you describe your jeremike?

FINALLY. AN OUTLET TO RAMBLE!!! /vpos

rahhhh, I was having so many thoughts about them throughout the years!! (I've been into fnaf since 2014, but started developing a foundation for the au back in 2021, I think? ANYWAYS!!)

With Michael it's pretty mediocre, the usual thing for most of the Afton family interpretations in fnaf AUs. His father not being the best parent, Michael being mama's boy, his mom trying to search for good qualities in him, Elizabeth being competitive with Michael, etc, etc. I think the main difference here is that his motivation is somewhat complex? I mean, he was (sorry to say that) an unplanned kid for Clara and William and Mike knows that his father's attitude towards him is based only on that thing (before the accident); Michael knows that his father despises him for William's very own mistake, the man unwilling to acknowledge that, and Michael despises William in return, in a "it's not even my fault!" kind of way. and he's right. but something about wanting to get some attention from a father figure, the same attention Elizabeth and Evan are getting regardless of what they do, is pushing him into being bad news. His father acknowledges his existence when Michael gets in trouble? He'll get into some more trouble, out of spite, only for William to give him some attention, even if it's a negative one. That's also the main reason why Michael gets into a bratty friend group at school, where boys are daring one another to do stupid shit like getting into fights, getting onto someone's property, pulling harmful "pranks". because these guys get him, they give him shoulder pats and he feels included in this environment.

Jeremy (I know I'm talking way too little about his lore. And this huge essay-like post is the first one to even mention it, LMAOOO) was originally from California and his family had a pretty decent life there. His dad got a promotion and a good job offering at some town in Utah and it was a good chance for Fitzgeralds, so they moved out without any doubt. Jeremy's mom was a really strict mom, a disaster bound to happen, but his father balanced it out with his sweet personality. He showed Jeremy different genres of music, especially the 60s beach rock, and Jeremy started exploring the field ever since, even after his father's death (I didn't come up with a cause of death yet) :[

When Jeremy's father died, everything sort of just went downhill and they moved to Hurricane, of all places, running low on money, his mother also going through emotional turmoil and addictions after her beloved husband's death, with Jeremy's older sister (Janet, she's 3 years older than him) replacing the mother figure in boy's life. he is chill and laid-back, though, and didn't give up even when Mike's bully crew chose him as one of scapegoats for the jokes, standing up for himself. he even once went as far as fighting Michael 1×1.

They just work together, after becoming friends and Mike apologizing, because they are, quite literally, the opposites. I looove writing opposites. Jeremy has a strict mom drowning in grief and being a bad parent to him and his sister, yet he had a wonderful and warm experience of being loved by his dad. Michael doesn't know what it's like to get approval from his dad, but he has a kind and loving mother. The mother issues/father issues parallels. Michael overthinks and is very affected by the image of him people around him have, Jeremy, on the contrary, acts too recklessly and never thinks about others' opinions on him. The orange/yellow color scheme, the purple/brown color scheme, I love these guys, their dynamics makes me want to kick feet and shake like a chihuahua.