#so i'm really hoping it all made sense
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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'I've never been in a dungeon before' and 'Who's Ganon?' have literally made some of the BEST reaction panels in Lu I just-
They are very similar conversations- where a Link is pointing out/asking about something that the others have experienced and they haven't. Which is really cool to compare and contrast but they all just freak out about it
Genuinely some of the best conversations in Lu
The lesson here is that apparently the Links will always be freaked out when one of them has missed out on one of the Zelda Fundamentalsā¢
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Art by Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)
#just wait till they find out Wild never wore a green hat#linkeduniverse#linked universe#Lu sky#Lu wars#you know what Sky wars wasn't judging you for your questions why you judging him huh?#it's like the core of Lu really. comradery and comparing- all their different experiences and similar ones. which is really COOL AND FUN#But the way they freak out when one of them hasn't done something- while hilarious- is excessive#'I've never done a dungeon'- are you sure you're one of us?#lol love these dorks#also I'm answering asks! slowly but surely I'll get there. you guys matter so much to me#I hope this post is ok... I didn't edit it too much and it's late#hope I made sense#I love you guys /plat <33#:)
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Res AU Joronia drawings. Character rambling and bonus doodles under cut.
This AU takes place a good while after the events of Triple Deluxe happened. Since then, Taranza's mostly recovered mentally from everything. He was able to move on from his grief and (somewhat) forgive himself. Now that Joronia's in his life again, seemingly back to her former self, some of those wounds he'd thought were fully healed have started to ache again. He still feels ultimately guilty for what happened to her.
He's thrilled that Joronia's been given a second chance at life, but is somewhat wary deep down. This feels to good to be true, that she's just back with seemingly no strings attached. The other shoe could drop any day now, and he could lose her all over again. Fearing this, he wants to make the most out of what could be a short time to be together again with his friend.
Joronia senses that there's a distance between the two of them now that wasn't there before. It shouldn't be surprising; he's probably still hurt from what she did. Other people definitely are. She's determined, though, to work hard to make it up to everyone she's hurt, and to prove to them (and herself) that she's not really like that, that she's capable of being better.
The Mirror's influence twisted her mind and her perception of reality. It made her feel like she was inadequate, and that everyone else were enemies to be subjugated. Now, she's supposed to be normal and better, but she still feels like there's something wrong with her head. She still doesn't feel good enough, and it still feels like everyone hates her. It's hard to trust herself. She's not sure if it's some lingering effect of the Mirror, or if there's just something inherently wrong with her now. She's scared.
She's afraid that something will happen, that she'll revert to how she was as Queen, and that she'll hurt Taranza again. Someone who'd always helped her, who'd stuck with her even when she was absolutely horrible to him, and who's kindness she's relying on again now, staying at his home as she worked on getting her life back together. She's a burden on him, and she always has been. She hates it.
Still, her deepest, most selfish wish is that they could be real friends again.
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These two need to have a long, honest discussion about their feelings toward each other and themselves. Both of them are absolutely terrified about that prospect, though, because they each think that the other secretly resents them to some degree. If they actually talked through it, they'd quickly realize that they both want the same thing.
#apologies for anything confusing or whatever in the text; it took me a while because i'm not very good at expressing my thoughts with words.#i hope that all made sense and that i was able to get my ideas across coherently. i really struggle with that; sorry.#if you have any questions for me; please comment on the post or send me an ask and i will do my best to answer.#also please remember none of the details for this AU are set in stone at the moment and all this is subject to change somewhat.#kirby series#res!au#taranza#joronia#queen sectonia#i need to stop posting things this time of night. everyone's asleep so i end up reblogging it in the morning so people can actually see it.#anyways if you read all that you win a cookie. you can redeem that in my ask box.
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i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too āĀ where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said āoh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.ā#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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Yuma's unshakable trust in Astral makes me cry every time
#Yuma doesn't even think twice about jumping in and defending Astral every time#He just trusts Astral so much#When Mr. Heartland said that Astral was a bad guy Yuma immediately got angry and started defending Astral#and also with Luna he talked in defense of Astral#and even when Astral started to have doubts about himself Yuma was quick to reassure him#because he knows that Astral is a good person#and no one will change his mind#Yuma is like āYes I know that Astral is weird and arrogant and sometimes makes no sense but he's a good person and I'm sure of itā#He has no idea about what the Numbers are but he knows Astral and that is enough for him to know that they can't be completely bad#and he is sure that Astral will never misuses them because he knows Astral better than anyone and he trusts him!#he trusts him even when Astral doesn't trust himself#and Yuma's trust is so important to Astral#he remembers so little about himself and doesn't know what he really is but Yuma cares so much about him#to the point that even his ābaseless confidenceā is enough to reassure Astral#because Yuma's power of believing in people is one of the things that Astral admires and loves the most about Yuma#and Yuma believing in him gives Astral hope that he will be alright#Astral even said that Yuma believing in him without hesitation made him happy#These two make me feel too many emotions#they are everything to me#I will probably talk about these scenes in future posts because I love them#but for now I wanted to have all of them in the same spot#I love this manga so much I want to talk about every scenes of it#(and seeing how much manga posts I have in my drafts that is likely to happen)#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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Hello, another doodle compilation post of everything I haven't posted since the period of May to now that I didn't hate but didn't like enough to post on its own + fanart i made of @catboymoments's fankids Azura and Hyacinth! I'm not normally a fankid person but these guys are a whole moment unto themselves I love them sm. ID in alt text bc it was getting lengthy! Let me know if there's any issues
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#willow park#gus porter#hunter toh#(he's there too! just very small. let me have this)#i had a lot of fun trying to figure out Hyacinth and Azura! they were unfamiliar so it was a challenge#hyacinth especially doesn't have a face I'd normally draw but i ended up really enjoying getting out of my comfort zone for him#i hope all the details translated well and that i interpreted aspects of their designs correctly?#i ended up accidentally giving Azura a slightly hooked nose bc i for some reason thought she had one? also struggled w/ her mouth a tad#but i decided to keep it in bc it made her face more unique lol. i already draw amity with a hooked nose so it kind of makes sense#you could say it's from alador though (which was also how i justified the way i drew her mouth since i normally draw Luz's differently-#-just imagine she got it from Camila)#also i recognize thst Hyacinth's cane arm is wonky?? really sorry about that! he was leaning on it a certain way in the ref photo#and i tried to replicate that but. eh#It's been a weird difficult time art wise recently#mainly cause of the hiatus I had to take cause of exams that I'm still recovering from.#Probably gonna end up taking another art/posting break (though we'll see how that all plays out??)#it's been a weird few weeks but not bad. I'm just kind of. trying to remain chill!#kinds wanna rewatch but I'm always afraid I'll overindulge and get sick of the shows i love š but also the longer i go w/o rewatching#the more insane i become. like the joker#I've also been slightly back into comics recently and it sucks. i hate it here fr let me out#but yeah that's where we are rn at ladel studios. just chilling i think!#i like it. gonna see if i can cultivate it as a skill
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If your bias against a character changes how you perceive their actions, it risks obscuring important themes within the narrative. Your personal feelings shouldn't be able to drastically change the course of action in the book and if it does, you've missed something.
Some themes I noticed in AFTG:
Even if you've done terrible things, you deserve happiness.
You are allowed to restart, because it's your life.
If you're committed to being a monster, you're getting fucking murdered. So, good riddance.
Aftg leaves room for nuance because fine details of situations shouldn't decide whether they get a second chance or not. [see: Is Thea good or bad?, Is Aaron homophobic?, Is Kevin a coward?] Regardless who they are, or what they've done, their life is not suddenly irredeemable. I could argue my opinion on any of those points, and have a great time doing it. But those details don't change much about the story. In conclusion, each character is someone who deserves to be treated with grace, regardless of what they've doneā and I think Nora Sakavic did an amazing job projecting her values into her work in such a concrete way.
P.S. the genuine monsters are exempt, I don't even need to say their names.
#I'll die before becoming a riko apologist.#And I hope this made sense I'm so passionate I made a video#aftg#all for the game#i really advocate for jeremy having a terrible past that never gets talked about#I think it would do a lot for the community#oh nooo how will we forgive him if we are unable to judge his actions
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.
Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.
Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.
I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd#(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing#there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like#'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over'#they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow#that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention#honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep#i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something#that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters#is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due#tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer#that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier#so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively#also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain'#all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma)#'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit'#like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO#and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own#like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt#so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all
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My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!
[id in alt!]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kh xion#kh namine#i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but#i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha#i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted!#ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming:#protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.'#so my general theme was finding a sense of self.#these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise#and naminƩ and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people#xion and naminƩ have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are-#instead of the parts that they share with someone else#and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all#i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see#hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words#but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine#i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it#ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha#fan art#my art#project stuff
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I think youāre talking about these posts [here & here], I donāt know if there have been others.
I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me Iām pretty sure, so itās kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasnāt hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.
Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they arenāt always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. Itās when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.
In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didnāt insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didnāt post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.
But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I havenāt vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time Iāve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then Iām not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. Iām just expressing that before you go off about how Iām stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you couldāve done was give me an opportunity to try.
#Iām not going to say Iāve handled everything like I should. I feel like usually I try to tag people and include context and pictures so Iām#not trying to be passive aggressive or talk about people behind their back.#Iām not hiding. I havenāt even used the Tommy neg tag and I feel like I always leave things open and - here is my opinion it is not the onl#one or maybe even the right one or - here are my thoughts at the moment of 1am or here is the loreā¦#I made my alt name and image very clearly still me. Iām not trying to be sneaky or backhanded or insult You for an opinion or call You dumb#and if I have insulted or hurt someone Iām genuinely sorry and didnāt mean to. Something I try to reiterate#as my tone can come across as aggressive#crumbs#hello there#but see how we can have a discussion of -hey flora maybe you shouldnāt be talking about other people without tagging them or going directly#to them and I can be like - yea you have a good point. your right thatās not being respectful to them.#clarifications#thats what I'm really asking for. the respect to see if I am going to be as bad as you assume. give me the benefit of the doubt#I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know all the internet etiquette or slang. this is my first time participating in a fandom#my first time on tumblr. on ao3. the first time I've gotten actual like interactions on things beside like graduation pics#not to plead ignorance as innocence#but I know I don't know everything & am not claiming to thats why I try to leave safe space for people to come respectfully to me#after feeling aggressive backlash and seeing it happen I have since tried to make sure I try to respect other people's opinions#now that doesnt mean that if you just leave an anon in my inbox Im going to respond to it if I have already talked about it.#- okay you disagree. I stated my opinion you've stated yours and if there is no further point to discuss then I might not respond#though I did make this blog to perhaps respond more to things like that since you did take the time to say it the least I can do it respond#(and I cant just send you a direct message if you go anon <3)#uh... anyways didn't mean to leave an essay here oops... hope im making sense to someone :)
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And that marks the end of the jmeal birthday reblobs! (Aka: me digging through all that I've reblogged / posted on this blog so far and reblogging my faves for Jamil's birthday.)
I have to say, I really liked going through these posts and bringing them back to people's dashes. Like, it made me happy seeing these posts get notes, since it meant that new people got to see all that art and fic and everything else made by these talented folks in the fandom, past and present.
Hopefully you all got to find new interesting creators or works, or perhaps were reminded of some old favorites.
#ner talks#like not to overstate my importance here or anything since I'm just one blog and not a particularly big one#but it was just really nice getting to share all these things around#and perhaps bring some of them back so to speak#I don't know it's not like it was that different from regular reblogging but it's kinda made me sappy#sharing all the love for jamil yes but also for everyone who's made lovely fanworks for him and whose work I've gotten to see#(also considering how tired I am rn I hope I'm still making sense oof)#also oh boy with all the jamil posts that have been made since I started running the reblobs my queue sure is far from empty still
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byan being extremely defensive of their substance abuse habits. byan being so very familiar with being looked down upon for drinking & doing drugs that they're terrified of those they've let close thinking less of them for for it. they've been kicked out of homes for it. they've been suspended & expelled from schools over it. they've had nasty things said and done to them because of it. it's only natural that they anticipate the worst from even those most important to them, so they tend to take steps to hide it where, around anyone else, they might instead broadcast it.
byan, upon being found out by someone close to them, getting either aggressively defensive or becoming a sobbing, apologizing mess.
#the latter only really happens if they're already really drunk/high & their emotions are running rampant#then again considering the usual reasons for their benders are tied to their mental health... it's not REALLY all that rare#does this all make sense? I hope this all makes sense ;A;#I have too many thoughts that all seem to flutter away the moment I try to focus one down adhfjs#but yeah like. when they're really fucked up & get discovered... it often takes them back to being younger in the same scenario#where there were always consequences. BAD consequences. so they start begging & sputtering apologies#'i fucked up again' isn't uncommon to hear in those moments#i think lena's the only one to actually witness one of these breakdowns so far but. yeah.#idk I'm just thinking about it again ajfkgsh#I know it feels a little like whiplash when I was just talking about them publicly self-destructing last night but#this is just the duality of byan š¤·#āā Ė ā° ā° headcanon ā® danger in the fabric of this thing i made.#substance abuse cw
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#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages#me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my#pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones#idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when#everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that#and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for#this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too#and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for#networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and#then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else#anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me#i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like#alright that's it for now i think#gah emotions and whatnot#missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon#personal
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really loving wuwa so far, it still lags a bit here and there but it kinda feels like it just has to marinate for a while? first 10 minutes are painful but after it seems like it has its assets cached or something and it isn't as much a problem anymore. it also looks like kuro games has been working overtime putting in patch fixes asfdjlkadfsj god speed to the devs fr
#0.txt#i'm all about combat gameplay and exploration so i'm having LOADS of fun on that front#i don't really have any opinions on the story yet tbh. its not bad but it's not amazing but i never have high expectations for#early game story to begin with. or gacha games in general tbh ajkladsf#i DO really like the world building in the sense of everything being made up of frequencies. it helps tie a lot of the lore together imo#my only thing is like. honestly if i didn't know who the fuck i was or where the fuck i was why would i go on this puzzle hunt for#some magistrate who i haven't even met in person. but whatever ig lol#character wise i'm running sanhua / yangyang / mortefi#sanhua is the fave here i love the charged attack mechanic where you have to release at the right moment#yangyang's cc is really useful and mortefi is also just fun lol#from trials i REALLY like using jiyan and lingyang so i hope i pull them eventually. still need to try out others though too#in general i definitely prefer the melee characters waaay more than others. i haven't liked a single rectifier yet ajskdlaf#(i got encore off the beginner banner)#my only gripe with the combat is that the range definitely feels a bit small like if you're a little too far away you won't hit the enemy#i'm eager to actually figure out proper playstyles though. i do actually like that effectively just button mashing also works#but it's also super satisfying understanding a character's exact gameplay mechanics#i have not even looked at character building though that is a whatever until it suddenly clicks fadkflaf
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