#basically. terribly unwell . chapter of all time i fear

[cloudbends]

OH I AM INCONSOLABLE. DEVASTATED.

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 17)

22 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey all! I am so glad to be back after just a week away this time, especially because I really want to get you all this resolution. I would have loved to have this chapter and the last one be just one installment, but I hit like 10,000 words and still had more to say so it just wasn’t meant to be. I hope you’ll forgive me once you read this part though, and I am so excited to see what you all think! Also, just in case it isn’t clear, there are three distinct POVs in this chapter (Killian, Liam, and Emma). Thanks as always for reading and hope you enjoy!

Witnessing the form of any man be overcome by a monster was a soul rattling thing. It chilled the blood and froze the mind, paralyzing it with anxiety and fear. But to see one’s brother go through such a horrifying change was something else all together.

For a moment, Killian caved to that panic as he watched the way his brother’s eyes flashed a hellish black and how the tension in Liam’s limbs made the lines of his body horrible and gruesome. The snarl on his face shouldn’t have been possible. No expression should convey so much hate and malice, and the growl that emanated from Liam’s chest was simultaneously low and yet sharp and scratchy. It made Killian wince, as if Liam had scraped his claws down a chalkboard, but despite the survival instincts in Killian’s head that told him to run, he stayed strong. It only took a moment for him to collect himself, to remind his now skittish animal of all he had to fight for and how nothing, not even his worst nightmare made real, would deter him from that. Killian had to protect the people he loved, and more than anything he had to fight with all he had to see his mate and his true love protected for now and always.

In seconds Killian readied himself for battle, crouching low, with every intention of shifting. His wolf was nearly at the forefront of his mind, his body just a hair away from transforming, but just before he did the monster in front of him went from totally controlling his brother to essentially disappearing. Liam physically stumbled, his body bending over as he shook his head with tremendous force, and when he looked up again his real eyes stared back at Killian, the deep darkness from before now gone. Liam was nearly normal again, though clearly had used a large amount of energy to fight back. But how? And more importantly, why?

“It’s like I said, before. The monster remains. There’s no shaking it.”

“But you’re trying to fight it,” Killian acknowledged and Liam nodded.

“Yes. I have tried everything I can to suppress it since that night. The night you spared me.”

“I might not know many details about what happened to you after our fight, brother, but I do know you stayed with the pack,” Killian bit out, his own resentment at that not hidden in the slightest. He’d thought it was a terrible idea then, and he still believed it to be so now. He had no idea how Liam would have ever rectified the want to suppress his inner demon with staying in that toxic place they once called home.  “So it doesn’t add up. You fought darkness, but lingered in it too.”

“That night…” Liam paused for a moment as he tried to find the words for how everything had gone down. “That night I was unhinged and unwell, but I wasn’t fully gone, not like you thought I was. That instinct to stay with the pack – it wasn’t all the bite talking. That had always been my plan, since the moment we set out to kill Brennan.”

“You never told me that,” Killian said, not believing it even if part of him wondered if it could be true. Had Liam always wanted to return to the pack? Maybe, but the thought, even in hindsight, was so abhorrent to Killian he couldn’t fully comprehend it.

“Of course I didn’t. You never would have supported that idea. You were of one mind. All you could focus on was finding justice for Mum, and I knew there would be no discussion on the subject. I had hoped after everything was done that maybe you’d see. Maybe killing our father would free you from all your hatred of the past. Maybe you’d feel as I did, that our life back there was more than evil and power and greed. There was still good in where we came from. It just had to be nurtured and fought for.”

“Sounds like bullshit,” Tink said, her words reminding both brothers that she was still here, something Killian had already forgotten.

“It’s true,” Liam reaffirmed, his aggravation growing, but his eyes remained a steady cerulean as he looked at Tink. “I always planned to rid the ugliness from our past, and from our family.”

“Oh sure, that’s possible,” Tink said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “Hell, I’d say it’s even likely, seeing as you’re related to Killian, who does everything he can to be a good guy. But that bite should have changed everything. If you really wanted to make things better, you should have known you weren’t the man to do it. You were compromised, and you clearly still are.”

“I did know I wasn’t the one to truly make things right,” Liam confessed. “And despite knowing I still tried anyway because I was selfish. I fooled myself into thinking I would be okay. When Killian left, the beast inside me calmed a hell of a lot. He never truly went away, but he was quieter, less agitated. I hovered above the monster, and I did what needed doing. I got rid of the old guard, all of the pack who supported Brennan -,”

“They all supported him, Liam. Every last one of them,” Killian spat out and Liam shook his head.

“No, not all of them. They didn’t support him; they endured him. The fear we felt wasn’t ours alone to shoulder. There were many others stuck in the same torturous cycles, hoping for escape without finding it. Mothers scared for their cubs, fathers who knew that defecting from the pack would put a mark on them and their families forever. Brennan was ruthless and he hated nothing more than disloyalty. Everyone was trapped, and just because they all didn’t show the bravery of our mother doesn’t mean they all deserved to be condemned.”

Killian remained quiet. He knew that at some level Liam was right. The cubs were absolutely without guilt, for none of them could choose the pack they were born to or the rules of their clan. And yes, Killian remembered that there was fear beyond his own little world. People got quiet around his father, and the women especially made sure never to linger too long in his presence. It was always a place filled with whispers and walking on eggshells. Still, Killian knew that even if the bite hadn’t come between them he never would have stayed. Some might say Killian wasn’t strong enough to face the past. They might think he lacked honor for not going and rebuilding what was broken, but Killian didn’t see it as his duty to fix what his father had created. He wanted no part of Brennan’s legacy, and if he’d been forced to face it he’d have disbanded the clan and told every single member that they’d be better off starting over somewhere without all the baggage and heartbreak.

“I know you think the pack should have dissolved, and there’s merit to that thinking, but what you failed to see was that as much pain as the pack brought, the pack was also family. For better or worse, it was all most of them ever knew, and breaking that bond is painful. It’s like leaving a part of yourself behind forever. You never felt that when we were kids, but I did, and I knew how much it hurt and how badly I wished it never happened. I didn’t want to take anything more from anyone, so I tried to heal the hurts instead.”

“And how did that work?” Killian asked skeptically.

“It was slow going, but there was steady progress. A few years in and we’d discharged all of the remaining dissenters. Brennan’s core backers were gone, and the members that remained began to believe that more might be possible for the first time in a long time. We set new rules, we cleansed the laws of the pack, and we started to build something everyone could be proud of.”

“Sounds like a fairy tale,” Tink joked and Liam winced.

“Hardly. Much as I tried to deny it, I was still sick. I could play at being healed all I wanted, hell I even fooled myself into thinking I was still on solid ground. I told no one I was infected, and I lived for a long time like nothing was wrong. But it wasn’t that simple. I might have been caging my animal, but I was still feeding it every day. I made all of them rely on me. I amassed substantial power as alpha, both within our pack and outside it, even if it wasn’t through fear as Brennan had. I was in total command and that soothed the beast which lusted for control, but all it took was one moment to show me how wrong I was in thinking that I could ever overcome this.”

“What happened?”

“What always happens in pack life: an outsider came and challenged me, thinking he stood a chance to take what I’d,” Liam stalled, shaking his head and changing his wording purposefully. “What we had been building.”

“That’s not so unusual,” Tink said, though her nose scrunched up slightly in a show of disgust. “Well not for wolves anyway. You’re all so abrasive, that just comes with the territory.”

The joke fell flat though Killian knew in another situation he’d have laughed. Tink’s thoughts on other shifters were usually entertaining to him, but the look of regret in Liam’s eyes told Killian his brother’s dark deed had crossed a line. He could only imagine what that might have been like.

“A challenge is normal, yes, but there are customs now. We don’t fight to the death like the wolves of old. We fight until surrender or until one side can’t fight anymore. We aren’t supposed to see an attacker and think that the only way forward is draining the life from them.  We aren’t supposed to welcome that kind of fight while vehemently resenting anyone for trying to stake a claim. Our animal shouldn’t crave cruelty or demand death.”

“But yours did.”

“Aye. Looking back it’s like someone else’s memory, but that fight… hell it was worse than ours ever had the chance to be. I was ruthless. I’d won the match ten times over, but the bite had me taunting and tormenting my opponent. I wouldn’t just have killed him. This was torture. This was blood sport…” Liam said, his eyes haunted and his shame written clear as day on his face. “It took every member of the pack to get me back from the depths of my demons, and even then they couldn’t fully stop me. I was possessed, consumed with this evil need. I was seconds away from finally killing him, but the ruckus of the pack distracted me, enough that I saw my reflection in the creek. My eyes were worse than black…”

“They were shattered,” Killian said, knowing the way his father had looked when they fought him, and remembering how ungodly the sight was.

“They were on the edge, the fragments were forming. The last pieces of my soul were withering away far faster than I imagined, and only in seeing that could I find a way to stop. And the only way to stop was to leave, so I ran.”

“Wait, you left?” Killian asked, shocked that after everything Liam would have ever left the pack for any length of time.

“I had to. I was stricken with the wants of the sickness for days. I couldn’t shift back to human form, all I could do was run, trying to exhaust myself and keep myself from turning back and finishing the job. Finally I passed out from the lack of food and water and sleep, but even then, when the fog of it all lifted I knew I couldn’t return. I called my second in command, and I told him I was done. The beast in me was too much, and I had to save the little control I have left for something more important. I had to save it for you, Killian. I had to try and mend things between us the best I could after everything that’s happened. I’m only glad you’ve found your happiness when you did, so Ruby’s block could be lifted and I could get here in time. It’s been over a year and each day I searched in vain, knowing I was never really close and would likely never find you. So you see, you finding your mate isn’t just your miracle, but mine too.”

Killian allowed that to sink in, and finally he accepted that Liam was really trying to do the right thing. This wasn’t a trick or a game. It was a genuine attempt by his elder brother to make amends. That was more than Killian had ever dared to dream of, but in accepting this to be fact Killian also realized that his brother’s words all pointed to a sadness he could not comprehend. Liam wasn’t here to hurt him, but he was here to say goodbye, and that goodbye was going to be a final one.

“So you mean to tell me that you withstood the bite for years, rebuilt the pack, overcame the beast again and have been tirelessly tracking me in the hopes of saying you’re sorry?”

“You’ve colored the story in my favor by putting it that way, but yes. It will never be enough, but I am sorry, Killian. I’m sorry for all of it. I miscalculated with Brennan even though we’d trained so hard. He never should have bit me in the first place, but I fucked up and he did. Then I caved so quickly to the crazy impulses this sickness brings, only to put you in the most impossible position. I can never take back that night, but if I could I truly would. More than anything though I want you to know that I tried. I tried to be the man you still believed was in me when you spared my life. I tried to be a man you and Mum could be proud of. I tried as long as I could.”

“And so now what, it’s just over? You’re giving up?” Tink asked, her own hard exterior defenses softening as she grappled with the self-sacrifice Liam was planning to make.  

“There’s no other way. I can’t live with this beast without succumbing to it,” Liam confessed, his resigned manner making Killian’s heart ache even more. “I’m a threat to everyone I meet. It’s barely restrained. The monster keeps rising closer and closer to the surface. Seeing you right now is the work of so much time, brother, and it’s all I ever wanted, but the pain I feel at holding onto everything is almost blinding. Frankly it’s miraculous I’ve held on this long. Soon enough the dam will break, and when it does I’ll be gone, and you and the people you care about here will be in real danger. So I have to stop that from happening. I can’t become what our father was. I won’t.”

“So you’ll die a hero then, a man who overcame to spare the rest of us. Because that’s what you’re saying. You’re saying you have to die. That you have to…” Killian couldn’t even form the rest of the terrible words, instead leaving the implication hanging in the air around them.

“It’s the only way.”

“I don’t believe that,” Killian said. “I might have bought that before. If you found me even a few months ago I would have been jaded enough to do so, but now… there’s too much good in the world for this to end like this Liam. There’s hope that lives here, hope like we’ve never known before, hope you deserve to feel.”

“Your mate, you love her,” Liam said and Killian nodded, now not distressed at Liam’s casual mention of Emma or at the thoughtful smile that formed on Liam’s face. “She’s your light and your hope, just like Mum used to say a mate should be, and I’m happy for you, brother, happier than you’ll ever know. I only wish I had the chance to meet the woman who could be so much to my favorite person.”

“Killian!”

The call from Emma that sounded through the woods at this most opportune time caused Killian to move forward, soon enough she appeared at the tree line with Ruby, Elsa, and Anna, and when she did Killian could see her fierce want to be with him and to protect him. She didn’t realize that he didn’t need protection, but at least now Liam could see the light that he had guessed at previously. He could have one wish granted in the end.

As he was thinking that though, Liam surprised Killian by springing towards Emma and her friends, and Killian’s good thoughts evaporated at the perceived threat. Liam moved with lightening speed, charging in Emma’s direction and Killian matched his pace, acting on instinct until he’d come to stand right before his love, protecting her as best he could, but then he realized it wasn’t Emma Liam had in his sights, it was Elsa. The expression on Liam’s face was torn and in flux, his eyes flashed between blue and the brilliant color of a healthy wolf, but all of his attention was settled on Emma’s best friend. One moment he was joyous, the next confused, and concerned. His actions were strange and almost unknowable, but then Killian realized something: Elsa must truly matter to Liam. She must call to him, and intrigue him in a way that he couldn’t control himself. She must be…

……………

My mate!

The words repeating over and over in his head the moment Liam laid eyes on the fair-haired beauty before him were undeniable, and even stranger they were said in the tone of his wolf pre-sickness. The demons that had taken up residence in his mind the past few years were silent, and all there was to focus on was this impossibly beautiful woman.

For a few beats of his heart, Liam experienced a rush of yearning and rightness. For the first time in years he felt like he had a chance at being whole and at being more than okay again. Acting on instinct he moved toward this familiar stranger, pulled by something stronger than gravity to be closer in her orbit. He barely even took in the others in her presence. Ruby was there, and he spared her the same fleeting glance that he gave to the other two women. One was clearly Killian’s mate, as his brother had charged to stand in front of her in a show of protection, but Killian’s face wasn’t animated with anger. Instead he looked perplexed and then a small smile began to tug at his lips as understanding dawned on him. Liam didn’t have time to make heads or tails of that; all he wanted was to get to his angel – his mate.

“Liam, stop!” Ruby said fiercely, putting her body between him and the woman he wanted so badly and Liam felt a growl growing in his chest, but he ultimately halted in his tracks. He met his cousin’s eyes, which were slightly clouded in that familiar way that said she was here in this moment while also receiving one of the visions she’d been having since childhood. When it had passed Liam growled low again, not liking the distance from his new found other half, and though Ruby seemed more relaxed than a moment ago, her fear had shifted to annoyance very quickly. “Seriously, quit it or you’ll scare her.”

“Uh, isn’t that the point?” one of the other women whispered. Looking at her, Liam could see some similarities between this woman and his blue-eyed beauty. They must be related somehow, but Liam’s gaze only stayed with her a moment before returning to his impossible dream again. “He’s the bad guy, remember?”

“He’s not,” his mate said sternly, speaking for the first time in his presence. Her voice rang out with indescribable melody, and each word, each subtle intonation lapped at his very soul like a gentle wave on the shore.

Her eyes didn’t demure in any way as he continued to stare her down, instead she met his gaze head on, and the emotion that he saw in those crystal blue pools nearly knocked him over. She was already fierce in her want to protect him and defend him despite not knowing him at all, and God he could just see how sweet and pure she was. Her hair was so light it could hardly be real, and though she’d tied it back in a tidy, elegant braid, Liam longed to see it set free. So many little dreams passed before his eyes – flashes of what he wanted with her, of what he wished could be. He never imagined anything like her before, he longed to reach out and touch her and to hold her close. She was sunlight in the midst of so much shadow, but he’d never deserve her, and he knew rationally that they could never be together, even if he’d never wanted anything more.

“I am though, love. And this… it can’t happen. I can’t be here,” Liam murmured. The realization was worse than anything he’d ever felt. He’d do all of life’s most terrible moments over again a million times to avoid this fate. He’d give anything to have things be different, but they weren’t. He was broken, and though he didn’t even know her name, Liam knew he’d never subject this angel to the burdens that he carried.

“You can,” his mate replied, her eyes holding so much softness even in the face of his brusque attempt at cold.

“Elsa?” The woman who clearly belonged with Killian looked for guidance and more clarification from his mate, and Liam rejoiced at hearing her name for the first time. Elsa �� so unique and uncommon, just like her.

“It’s all right, Emma. It’s going to be okay,” Elsa said before looking back to him and speaking directly to him again. “You’re going to be okay.”

“No, I’m not. It’s – God it’s a sick joke! I live long enough to find you, but I can’t have you.”

“Yes you can. I can help you,” Elsa said, her voice lilting with the same calm and warmth despite the fact that his own was edging towards full-blown despair.

“Help him?” Ruby asked, her face giving every hint that her visions weren’t serving her as well as she wanted right now. She couldn’t read the future that his mate seemed so certain of, but without even hearing the details, Liam felt himself start to believe this remarkable woman. He knew nothing of Elsa, but at the same time he knew everything, and if she believed then he would to. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I can heal him,” Elsa announced, totally and completely assured of herself.

“How?” Everyone except for Liam asked at the same time, and then Elsa smiled as she very clearly replied.

“Because I’m his mate.”

“MATE?!” the girl who looked like Elsa asked exuberantly. “Did you just say mate? Did my sister just say mate?!”

“Yes, Anna, I said mate,” Elsa said, her own happiness bubbling up into a tinkling laugh that sounded out like the chimes of a bell.

Liam’s chest filled with pride at her claiming him like this, and he knew he’d never felt such joy in his life. That she would feel all he felt for her was incredible, and that she could see past the darkness that he was… well it was the best thing that had ever happened in his life. It was only topped by the moment that his Elsa stepped forward, finally taking his hand in hers. At the contact he was overcome with elation in a way that defied description. All he knew was one moment he was a jumble of feelings and the next he was truly peaceful. For the first time in a long time all his monsters were at bay, and he felt anchored even as he reveled in this taste of true freedom. Then he watched as a swirl of light began to emanate from her. It was magic, raw, powerful light magic, and he felt it seep into him, warming him through and making him feel like more than he’d ever been, even before the bite.

“See what I mean?” Elsa whispered so quietly he was sure only he could here. “We can handle this. We’ll figure this out together.”

“Together,” Liam mused as his hands pulled her closer so she was flush against his body. “Got to say I love the sound of that.”

And though they’d only just met, and their journey together was still as new as new could be, Liam felt euphoric when his mate moved upwards to press a kiss to his lips. As crazy as this was, and as sudden as the shift had been from all hope being lost to every dream coming true, Liam wouldn’t have it any other way. Lost in the love he already felt coursing through him for her, he allowed the weight of his world to slip away, and as long as he had Elsa by his side, he knew there were no more beasts and no more demons that could ever be successful in holding him down.

……………

“So this hasn’t gone exactly as expected,” Emma commented as the rest of them watched Elsa and Liam connecting closer to the middle of the field. They were caught up in a heated kiss, but what was truly awe inspiring was the flow of magic all around them. You could see it and feel it all around them, and without even needing to be told of any set plans or remedies, Emma knew her friend was right when she said she’d be the one to heal Killian’s brother.  

To be honest though, this was quite literally one of the last things Emma ever could have anticipated. Even if she had believed that there was a chance that Liam might still be savable, she couldn’t have ever expected that his savior would be Elsa or that her best friend would find the same kind of true love in an instant as Emma and Killian had. It was a truly remarkable thing, and as she watched Liam and Elsa’s embrace she felt her eyes grow misty. This was such a blessing for so many reasons, not the least of which was that Killian would have one of the most important people in his life back. Finally after so long so many of his old hurts could heal, and in the process Elsa would hopefully find her own happily ever after, which Emma knew she absolutely deserved.

“No, love. I think it’s safe to say this has gone completely off the rails.”

“In a good way though,” Emma joked and Killian laughed, pressing a light kiss to her lips.

“Aye, in the best way. My brother has returned, Elsa is confident that she can heal him, and it turns out they are fated mates. Who would believe it?”

“Well while we’re on the subject of mates, the new sheriff is making my wolf act up. Could be nothing but -,”

Before Ruby could get the words out a growl sounded from the woods, and Emma looked over to see a giant wolf at the tree line. It was clear the wolf had been there for some time, and Emma had to assume this was Graham. Even though she’d been around shifters more and more the past few weeks, it was still an amazing thing to see. These animals were gorgeous and different and huge, and yet it was still totally Graham. Emma couldn’t explain it, there was just something about the way this wolf carried himself. Well that and the way that he was not pleased with Ruby underselling their connection, which was admittedly hilarious. Still, there was so much happening here, Emma couldn’t help shaking her head in continued disbelief.

“That doesn’t sound like ‘nothing,’” Anna said gleefully. “In fact, it sounds like this might just be my favorite day ever!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally here for the surprise love fest,” Tink replied as she stuck her thumb out in Graham’s general direction, “Especially if it means seeing this guy find someone after years of telling me he never would. You owe me a hundred bucks by the way, Humbert.”

Graham’s wolf made what was probably the animal equivalent of an amused snort, which caused everyone to laugh, except for Ruby who rolled her eyes in feigned annoyance.

“Oh what, like it’s hard to be fated for me?” Her words were barely out of her mouth and Graham had shifted back, holding her close and making her gasp as he leaned in to reassure her.

“Easiest thing I’ve ever done, babe. Count on that.” The words, corny as they sounded to Emma, made Ruby swoon, which in turn seemed to set off Elsa and Liam and even she and Killian.

“Okay, cool it cowboy. It’s been like ten minutes and there are other people present,” Tink said, sternly reminding the couples that now was not the time or place. “Like I was saying, this absolutely beats a battle to the death. But I gotta ask… are we actually out of the woods here? Is Liam safe to be around or to even have in town for that matter?”

“He’s safe,” Elsa and Ruby said at the same time and Emma felt the last of Killian’s tension leave him as he exhaled at their assurances.

“So it’s over then? That’s it?” Emma asked, her whole attitude brightening at the thought that this great daunting doom that had hung over them so long was finally through. Now she and Killian could get on with the whole settling in and building a life together thing, something that she was definitely ready for. And more than that, Liam not being a threat meant all of them were safe now. Her family could stop worrying, and her friends could rest easy. In short, this was a spectacular turn of events.

“Well I wouldn’t say it’s over,” Anna acknowledged with a wave of her hand. “It seems to me that it’s really only beginning. Plus if you think we’re ending this and I don’t get a fated match too then you’re crazy. I’ll be patient, but I will be finding true love, you hear me?”

It was impossible not to laugh at Anna’s words, and Emma tucked herself into Killian as she did, loving the rumble of his laughter as it moved against her at Anna’s antics. Closing her eyes for a brief moment Emma allowed herself to just take this all in. The sun was shining, the breeze was gentle as it moved through the glen, and the air around them crackled with that sense of rightness that Emma usually only felt when she and Killian were alone and trying to forget the world. That she could feel this with everyone was a gift, and Emma knew this was a turning point; it just had to be.

“Well, I think there’s really only one question left to ask,” Tink said with a look of pure amusement on her face. “Who’s telling the Nolans?”

“Not it!” Emma, Anna, and Elsa all chimed at the same time, but before they could debate amongst themselves who would deliver the updates to her parents, her mother’s voice interrupted over the static of the radio that no one had noticed until just now.

“Hey, I heard that! Oh shoot I forgot to say over. I heard that, over.”

Tink looked shocked and Emma knew that this wasn’t some elaborate prank. Tink was genuinely unaware that Mary Margaret had been listening in. They were all astounded, well all of them except Graham who immediately looked embarrassed. He motioned to the radio he’d been wearing and finally seemed to notice it had been set to on this whole time, even when he’d been in wolf form.

“That’s my bad. I gave her the extra radio at the station yesterday. Figured it would be the best way to keep them in the loop. I didn’t realize it was on all this time.”

“Was it really though?” Emma asked, knowing her mother could fully hear her now. “I don’t know how likely it is that Mom could hear everything happening today and keep quiet. First you and Ruby, then Elsa and Liam. It would have been an awful lot of temptation…”

“Emma!” Her Mom said with a tone of censure, but then there was mumbling in the background and she heard her mother sigh. “Okay fine, I wanted to say things but your father reminded me that if I did Graham would probably shut off the feed, and I just couldn’t risk it.”

“I may not know your parents well, but that sounds about right,” Ruby said with a smirk. “And five bucks says Granny’s in on this too.”

“No one’s dumb enough to take that bet,” Killian joked and sure enough Granny’s voice came through the feed confirming that she was there and enjoying all the updates as well.

“Oh I’m here, and I have all sorts of questions for this man who thinks he’s good enough for my Ruby Lee.”

“Oh Jesus,” Ruby said with the first show of embarrassment she’d had today. She grabbed the walkie talkie from Graham and finally put this all to bed.

“All right you three, show’s over. You’ve had your fun. Granny, I will see you tomorrow,” Ruby said, before backtracking after looking back at Graham whose eyes were on her and filled with both heat and a quizzical question asking if she’d really be up for company tomorrow. “Scratch that, I’ll see you soon…ish. You want references, you got them sitting right next to you. I’m sure Mary Margaret and David are all too happy to fill you in on all things Graham.”

Anna then took the reciever from Ruby and gave her own message to Emma’s parents. “And don’t worry, I was only playing earlier. I’ll be over to fill you in on everything you missed. All I ask is that you make one of your awesome blueberry pies. I don’t have a man yet, so I should at least get some damn dessert.”

Emma bit back another laugh at how quickly her mother agreed to that proposition, and over the next few minutes the group disbanded, with the new mates going to find alone time as Anna and Tink headed towards her parents house. For Emma and Killian though, there was so much to be said and so much to discuss, but Emma knew that they wouldn’t get into the details tonight. No, she didn’t see much in the way of talking happening tonight at all, not when the relief she felt was so distinctly mirrored in her mate’s eyes, and not when the lifting of the Liam burden had left space only for love and hope and happiness.

“Picture it, love,” Killian said as he brought her into the house, locking the door behind them and then pulling her into his arms so there was no space left between them. “A whole night just you and me and some good old fashioned peace and quiet.”

“Well I don’t know about quiet…” Emma teased as her hand trailed down his chest, her voice dropping a bit lower and the huskiness of her want for him sounding out undeniably in her tone. “I kind of like when we get all worked up.”

Killian’s growl gave away how much he loved that too, and the next thing she knew he was sweeping her up and bringing them to the bedroom. Whether it was shifter speed or just Emma’s own infatuated state any time Killian put his hands on her she didn’t know, but it felt like one second her feet were on the ground and the next she was pinned against the door in their bedroom as Killian gazed at her with lust and love and longing.

“Allow me to be more clear,” Killian murmured his mouth whispering the words against her skin between kisses as he moved from his lips to her jaw, down her neck and lower. “Tonight it’s just you and me and the love between us. Nothing – and I do mean nothing – is getting between me and my mate tonight.”

Killian murmured the words as he practically ripped the clothing from her body, and Emma was mindless to do anything but claw away the clothes he still had on too. She went from teasing to needy in the blink of an eye, and from the hungry, predatory gaze Killian sent her way, Emma knew the night before them would be anything but fast. No, Killian had other plans, and if the already delicious torment of his hands and his mouth were anything to go by, Emma was going to be more than satisfied in every way.

“Every day I wonder if I’ll be used to this yet,” Killian rasped against her skin as he brought her to the bed, trailing his wicked mouth along the bared flesh of her neck. He nipped lightly at one of the mating marks he’d left on her and Emma jumped, her body so hot and ready and wanting though they’d barely even begun. “I wonder if your beauty will stop taking my breath away, or if I’ll feel anything but awe here in your presence. Will my heart stop feeling fit to burst? Will my need ever calm or wane away?”

“And the verdict?” Emma asked as one of his hands moved up her thigh as his lips moved down to her breasts, his touches moving between gentle and demanding, riling her up so effortlessly.

“It’s a waste of wondering, love. For there will never come a day when I don’t crave you. I need you, Emma, more than anything the world over, and I love you in ways I can’t possibly put in words.”

“So show me,” Emma begged, her voice a breathy moan as Killian’s lips turned up in a sinfully sexy smirk.

“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”

Emma was so torn in this moment. Mindless with pleasure and crescendoing desire, she wanted to close her eyes and revel in all of his ministrations. His fingers came to touch her most intimate skin, and the brush of his thumb on her clit as his teeth nipped the sensitive part of her breast pulled more moans from within her. But if she looked away from him now, Emma would deny herself the pleasure of seeing the man she was made for looking both fantastically wild and totally in control. Killian was so damn attractive.  He always had her thinking the dirtiest things and craving something more, no matter the time of day, but seeing him like this, totally assured and completely in command of her body had her arching to be closer to him. He was magnificent right now – and if someone were to tell her there was a world outside of this bed right now she’d hardly believe them. She was so caught up in this moment, so strung out sensation, all she could do was feel and want and beg for more.

“Killian,” she pleaded, words failing her, and then he growled with satisfaction against her skin. 

The hum of his territorial action pushed Emma’s already aching need towards the edge of release. Then the anticipation pushed her still closer as he moved down her body, his lips tasting every part of her until his mouth came to feast on her, tormenting her into marvelous madness.  She shattered so quickly, but her mate wasn’t anywhere near satisfied. He pulled her climax from her only to tease her more, building her up and taking another. He seemed hell bent on a third but Emma was brazen now and desperate for more. She pulled him back up to her, and when he thrust inside, filling her completely she felt nothing but satisfaction and the most ethereal sense of completion.

There was no telling how long they were locked together like this. Both of them were consumed with the other, chasing release and saying with words and with actions everything they felt. This was more than love; it was destiny while somehow also being a choice. No matter what the mating call had said, Emma knew that their love transcended all of that. Nature was strong, but somehow this was stronger, and the pull of wanting never seemed to fade between them.

“You’re mine,” Emma whispered, when they were both spent and exhausted, as she placed another kiss to the place just above his heart. She must have said it a thousand times tonight, but each time it was both a claiming and a prayer. She was so happy to have this and to have Killian, and there was no denying that he felt the same. 

“And you’re mine, Emma. For far longer than forever.”

With those beautiful promises in mind, Emma lay there, wrapped up in her mate thinking about how sure this thing between them was. And as she drifted off to sleep, it was almost hard to discern reality from fantasy, because life, right here in this moment, was better than any dream. Because this life was real and it was hers and it was filled with endless, glorious, wonderful possibility. 

Post-Note: So some of you (okay probably all of you) must have seen this coming. I would never be able to write something so painful as losing Liam or Killian having to kill his brother. I always knew ever since the start that Liam and Elsa would be mates, and I knew that the only way to heal Liam would require magic. There’s much more to come in terms of the bite and how Elsa will help Liam, so rest assured that will be covered. And there’s also quite a few more chapters left to go. My plan is to have 22 chapters and then potentially an additional epilogue, and trust me when I tell you there is plenty more story yet, and all of our twists and turns are not quite over. Anyway thanks so much to all of you for all your love and support. It might be few weeks or so until I get to publish my next chapter because I am doing a lot of traveling now that school is out, but I promise it’s coming! Thanks again and hope you all have a great rest of your week!

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