#so i'll get a lot of data points this summer

[magentagalaxies]

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

[neverendingford]

.

[meatballlady]

It's time for the fandom to start Looking Where the Furniture Isn't

For a bit of background, one of my irl professional responsibilities is to identify and avoid making undue assumptions. There are a LOT of things that we humans assume. We assume that terminology means the same to other people as it does to us. We assume everyone has the same context of a situation we do. We assume that we aren't missing any information.

We operate on the information we have.

There was an ask before season 2 aired asking whether many of the plot points had been revealed by the clips (which almost all took place during the first half of the first episode). Neil's response was something like "oh you sweet summer children you know nothing yet." And boy was he right.

Neil Gaiman is a master of controlling assumptions. Just look at his Tumblr askbox replies.

Here's a few s2 examples of assumptions we all made (as I'm starting a rewatch):

Why did Crowley do the (very fun and distracting) apology dance? You might say it was because he walked out on Jim, but he never specified, did he? And Aziraphale was surprised that he proposed they would hide him "together"

How did Shax get a rumor about something going down in the Up (presumably) before Gabriel even went downstairs?

Did Jim need to bring Aziraphale something other than the box? He never actually specifies; Aziraphale just assumes it's the box.

Why did Aziraphale assume Maggie could feel [Michael, Uriel, Saraquael] arriving?

Why does Aziraphale say Heaven would notice even a small miracle? Crowley is seen doing a miracle before their large miracle (traffic light), and later Aziraphale makes the guy leave the table at the pub

To go deeper:

Are we assuming that characters are telling the truth? Example: "Miracles don't work like that," "[Extreme sanctions] was just something we said to frighten the cherubs" etc.

Are we assuming that nothing of note happened between apocalypse v1 and s2? (ex. the claims that Crowley didn't tell Aziraphale about the trial in heaven despite him referencing it in s2s1) What if we the audience are just jumping in near the end of this story?

Are these assumptions correct? Or are we just working with the information that we have?

Now that I'm looking for it, there's also SO many corrections of assumptions (usually for the sake of a joke, but still) (these are just the ones that happen while I type them out while watching e2):

"Can I be a blue one?" "You haven't annoyed me yet" "But can I be?"

"You recognized [Michael, Uriel, Saraquael] those people who were in the shop just now?" "Of course, they were in the shop, just now!"

"oh my god!" "blasphemy, angel, that's not like you", "no, oh, my god"

Many of the themes were about hiding things in plain sight: the kids (and kids), Jim, "aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear." Clue (1985) was heavily referenced in the lead-up. The whole point of that film was looking at what was going on elsewhere. Looking where the furniture isn't, you might say.

The more I watch s2, the less certain I am that any of it makes sense on its own.

I'm currently combing through it to see if there are any discrepancies with where people are (easiest example is when Crowley just disappears from the bookshop while they're reviewing the Job story). It'll be a lot of data and might not lead anywhere, but I'll definitely share once I finish looking into it.

I will also honestly admit that these things are all circumstantial, and I could be going insane. But they just keep cropping up all over the place. I've got a lot of time before S3 comes up and I intend to investigate the furniture. And try to not make assumptions.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Give me a Reason: Chapter 12- "Petals"

Uzi sat on the park bench scrolling through songs on her phone, the air around her was warm and humid, summer seemed to come faster every year and this year was no different. It was marginally cooler in Copper, the valley it resided in shielding it from the sun's rays most of the day, but not by much.

The park itself was nothing special, a small playground in the middle with a few covered seating areas around it, she was just on the outskirts, sitting under a dogwood tree that was spitting it's big, pink flower petals out at everyone who passed it. She'd already had to pick several out of her hair.

And at exactly 6:30pm. A dark grey BMW pulled into the parking lot, and Uzi looked up at it before looking back down at her phone.

N:I'm here! Where are you?

Nvm! I see you!

Uzi blinked, looking back at the fancy BMW that had just pulled in and sighing, oh so N's family had money, money. That made a bit of sense, though she was a little surprised he'd never mentioned it before.

She stood up, dusting herself of and trying to look as presentable as possible, suddenly feeling a little self conscious in her tank top and (currently open) jacket.

A tall woman with long brown hair and gorgeous emerald green eyes stepped out of the sedan, doing a once over of the park before the passenger door opened and out stepped N. A hoodie and jeans despite the temperature. (Though it's not like she had room to talk)

N pointed at her excitedly, which made her freeze for a moment before awkwardly smiling. Stepping up towards them a bit warily.

“Um, heeey?” Oh fuck everything, she was so awkward. Someone please come rescue her from this conversation.

“Hey Uzi! This is Tessa! The chef of the food you like so much!” She winced, they hadn't shared lunch that often, but being put on the spot so suddenly made her heart speed up and breath get caught in her throat.

“Oh-uh, it's nice to meet you. I guess.” She curled in a bit on herself, feeling more out of place then ever. She felt her face getting warm despite her efforts to stop it.

“Oooh, N didn't tell me his ‘partner' was the girl he met on the first day.” She side eyed N, a smirk growing on her face as she turned to him.

“You didn't lie to mom to go on a date did you little bro~?” She teased, earning a squeek as N turned an impressive shade of cherry red, something that seemed to also spread to Uzi, as she looked down to hide her own fluster.

It wasn't a date! It was an exhibition to gather data! No romantic undertones at all! Nothing romantic about hunting for ghosts!

“Tessa!” N seethed, being the first time Uzi had seen him look genuinely upset since she'd known him. “Its-Its not a date! And I didn't lie! She is my project partner!” He defended, fidgeting his hands.

“Riiiight, alrighty then. It's nice to meet you too Uzi, N was right, you are very pretty.” Tessa winked at her, and Uzi felt whatever oxygen she had escape in a tiny gasp as N looked like he was about to perish on the spot.

“I'll be back at ten sharp. Have fun you two!” Tessa waved them off, chuckling to herself at the way she embarrassed her younger brother before hopping back in the car. N was still stuck ramrod straight, face redder then beetroot.

There was a moment of very tense silence, before N cleared his throat, trying to calm down a little.

“Ah-uh… don't mind her, she likes to embarrass me…” He explained, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, smiling like a fool.

Uzi gave a half-laugh. “I-Its okay. She's your older sister, it's kinda her job right?” Her hands gripping onto the bottom fluff of her jacket as she also tried to coax the heat from her face.

Right. She just likes to embarrass him. He probably never said that about her…

“You are- you are though.” He murmured, looking down at his own feet to avoid looking anywhere near her.

Well that certainly didn't help calm her fluster.

“Oh… thank you?” She managed to get out before she had to look away, a dumb, smiley look on her face. She still didn't know how to take compliments, and this one made her heart feel all fluttery… for some reason.

“You have petals in your hair.” N said after a moment of awkwardly walking back to the bench she was at before. Pointing at the pink petals caught in her beanie and purple locks.

“Huh? Agh! Come on!” She shook her head and huffed, watching as a few petals floated down around her, crossing her arms.

“Uh… there's still… here.” He suddenly stepped incredibly close, hand brushing through her hair as he fished for the final stubborn flower, she almost wanted to yell at him for invading her personal space, instead all she could do was squeak and watch his arm like a mouse watching a cat.

The moment was over quickly. N pulling back with an intact pink flower in his hand, he was beaming, letting the flower float out of his hand and onto the ground gently.

“There! It really wanted to stay with you!” He giggled, fidgeting with his hands again.

Uzi blinked. Before figuratively slapping herself. Pulling herself put of whatever weird headspace she'd just fallen into and clearing her throat.

“T-thanks. Uh, you wanna start walking? The forest is thata-way.” She pointed forward through the park, past the fenced in area of it's well trimmed confines, the forest grew thick and untamed.

“Yeah! Let's go, I love doing anything!”

Next->

[ms-demeanor]

hello! i vaguely recall you doing a new year's resolution bingo thing - first, was that actually you lol? and if so, how'd it go, any adjustments you'd make from the original idea? (i did a resolution bingo this past year, which mostly ended up being a 24 item quest buffet, which did work for me! but i'm curious for more data). happy new year to you and your various sizes of bastard!

Hello! Yes, that was me. It didn't go great!

I did a resolution bingo in 2022 but it ended up feeling like homework and at a certain point in the year I looked at the spaces that I hadn't filled and it just made me feel bad.

In 2023 I did kind of a chore chart; I used a sheet of college-ruled notebook paper and divided it up into columns with things like "guitar" and "draw" and and "quilt square" and "go for a walk by myself" and numbered out 52 lines and I went through and highlighted each thing as I did it each week. That went very well for some things and not very well for others. I had at least a few columns where I did something every other week, and I totally finished the quilt square column, and I drew something for like 40 weeks, but I also had several categories that I did absolutely nothing for and several categories that had very few highlights.

That chart *also* was kind of a problem and there was a week in, like, august where my brain was being weird and was like "you can't do more of X until you've caught up on Y and Z" because I had to flip the paper over and wanted to finish three columns before I flipped it - that was clearly a very silly hangup but I don't make the rules for what my brain will freak out about and it caused a disproportionate amount of stress.

This year I kind of combined the two and I've made three sheets of paper with different tasks on different lines, and in different amounts. (And none of the papers need to be flipped over so I won't get a weird hangup week)

So instead of having 52 blanks each for "pushups" "squats" and "go for a walk by myself" I've got 156 blanks for "workout: lifting, calisthenics, stretching, walking, cardio." I didn't do a single walk by myself last year, and it turns out I'm pretty unlikely do do random squats or pushups, so rather than try to do one exercise fifty two times I'm just going to try to do *some* kind of exercise three times a week and I'm not going to feel bad about it if that's more bench press instead of more cardio.

I did pretty well with quilt squares so i've set a goal to do twice as many this year. I set a goal for 52 drawings and writing seriously 52 times. My yard is a disaster so my goal is to fill my yardwaste bin 52 times this year.

But what I *haven't* done is divide that up by week. Maybe some weeks I'll get four workouts in and other weeks I'll do two. Maybe I won't draw for a month but I'll get into it a lot over the summer.

One of my two other sheets is things that I'd like to do daily. My four daily tasks that I'm aiming for are: clean something at the house, floss, moisturize, and journal. (Journaling was successful in the bingo year but not at all last year)

The other sheet is the one that's more like the bingo, or what I think the spirit of the bingo is supposed to be. I've got it labeled "Bonus" and each thing on it has about twenty circles that I can check off if I do something but that I don't see as a goal. That includes stuff like "friend hangs" and "go someplace" - stuff that I want to do more of but that I can either plan or do spontaneously and that doesn't have a big project end goal (so it's "do something with music like program a music box or play guitar for a while" rather than "write a song" like it was the bingo year, when no song got written).

I may have also just kneecapped myself by making the bingo squares too hard. Maybe I should do a monthly bingo with smaller goals.

The bingo also got harder when I failed at bullet journaling; turns out that's not a great way for me to manage my time and attention and the bingo was in the bullet journal. Having stuff on a wall next to the light switch in my office helped a lot last year, I think, so that's where my sheets are this year too.

IDK, this is all fun to experiment with and I enjoy it but also I'm never sure if any of it "works" in terms of getting me to do more of the things that I'd like myself to do. It did work for quilt squares last year, though, and that's the best progress I've made on my quilt since I started it in 2021. And the daily chart is helping a lot so far.

But maybe I just like making charts (I do).

[play-now-my-lord]

penguin's driving along the road, all of a sudden his car starts sputtering and coasts to a stop.

not good. he pops the hood and goes to have a look, but his little penguin body can't reach inside the engine compartment. sighing at his ill fortune, he grabs a milk crate from the backseat of the car that he keeps for such eventualities and goes back to the engine bay.

he looks at the belts. they're fine. he checks the oil; seems low. he has no idea where the nearest gas station is, but it seems like a hell of a walk, especially in the oppressive summer sun. he grabs his cell phone out of his jeans - he's wearing jeans, it's normal to him - and he goes to find the nearest gas station. apple maps is being predictably useless. he tries browsing to an external maps site but his internet connection is terrible. the penguin isn't getting enough data to see basically anything on the map. with a sinking feeling in his stomach, he realizes that if he can't get a good signal here, it's not like he's gonna figure out what's wrong with his car.

he's getting more and more frustrated by the situation, this penguin. he realizes the last thing he passed before his car broke down was a little parking lot whose handmade sign advertised fresh ice cream. probably a parked truck taking advantage of foot traffic to a nearby beach. what the hell, he thinks to himself, and goes over to get himself a cone. "hey buddy," says the ice cream man. "you got pistachio?", asks the penguin. "nope, not today" "you got rum raisin?" "pretty sure that's just baskin-robbins. no." "shucks. you got pralines and cream?" "nope." "well, what do you got?" "let me check." the ice cream man goes back to the back of his truck and returns a half a minute later. "sorry, pal. looks like all i got today is tutti frutti - that's a sherbert, technically - and vanilla." "that's all right. i'll have vanilla," says the penguin. "cone, waffle cone, or cup?" "what the hell, i'll have a waffle cone." "comes to $4.50," says the ice cream man. the penguin hands him a five dollar bill, and receives a quarter, a dime, and three nickels as change.

on his way back to the car, the penguin is kicking himself that at no point did he think to ask after a nearby mechanic, local tow companies, or even cell reception. he's kicking himself for a bit, but he has to admit the cold vanilla ice cream hits the spot, so it's not exactly a wasted trip. he finishes it just as he gets back to his car, and sees a pickup truck parked next to it on the shoulder of the road. a slim middle-aged man wearing oily work overalls waves at the penguin as he approaches, hands still beaded with sweat wiped off his brow. "car trouble," explains the penguin apologetically. the stranger looks at him then looks into the engine bay and grimaces.

"looks like you blew a seal," he says. "no, that's ice cream"

[freebooter4ever]

Despite my continued stomach/digestive issues that is making it damn hard to eat, the increased exercise has almost entirely lifted my intense depressive episode and im almost feeling 'normal' again (which is definitely helping with this letter that im spending two days writing lmao). But i keep going back to that idea of people seeing me happy vs when i am truly 'happy'. For the past year that's mostly revolved around three things: 1) voluntering at the museum - usually interacting with guests, answering questions, getting to talk at length about this history i love, seeing guests get equally as excited and enthusiastic about the place as i do. 2) hockey. I know. This is still weird to me too that i ended up liking sports. But this summer i have definitely missed that vicarious high of watching things play out live good or bad. The charity games were cute and fun to watch but without the suspense and thrill of rooting for something with thousands of others at the same time it didn't quite cut it. On the other hand i've been using hockey as a carrot like 'i need to get a job so i can afford hockey tickets!' which is silly but its better than...imagining the painful reality of what will happen if i dont have a new job by this fall. I work better by thoughts of reward than under threat. If i do manage to land something soon i promise i'll end up in pittsburgh for a game at some point - that and visiting grandma are equal priority. 3) staring at geno's face and drawing or sculpting him. Im trying not to think too hard about this one.

And now another. 4) walking around the studio's manufacturing warehouse. I promised myself on sunday that i would play it cool, be professional, dont geek out over everything. I did not do that. I was grinning the entire time, i literally could not stop myself from smiling i was so excited. I think i said 'wow' and 'that's so cool!' a lot, too much maybe. At the end of the very in depth tour during which i asked so many questions i felt like a kid, the guy told me he was going to go back inside and 'work on some programming' before he left. And pushing my luck i was all 'i know with NDA stuff this might not be possible but could i just watch???'. And he tried to insist it would be boring but i promised him i absolutely would find it fascinating. Partially because i knew he wasn't talking about my kind of programming - scripted languages, machine code instruction - he was talking about some kind of interface programming. And sure enough he showed me the sine waves and explained a little how to generate them from data or how to create them from scratch, all as he was working on the model. And i was just sitting there enraptured.

so that was sunday. Supposed to be last tuesday, then moved to saturday, then finally sunday...but well worth the wait.

[whipplefilter]

Auto Racing Analytics is my new favorite account, because who doesn't love a spider graph?? I love a spider graph:

I initially found this account through a post that had that blue line and was like, "guess whose stats these are." And I was immediately like, that is the most 5-coded blue line. Operating at such a high level! So well-rounded! Except for the giant chomp taken out of it where DNFs and crash avoidance are concerned, hahaha...ha!

Going into Indy, I was talking to @the-kings-tail-fin about how, on any given day, the 5 could not be trusted in the way that the 9 could, and that the 24 was seasonally trustworthy (one of those seasons not being summer). I'd wanted to make a post about my thoughts on Kyle Larson's driving style, but chickened out of it because it's not as though I had any actual data aside from anecdotal evidence of having watched more of his Cup races than I haven't. But look, a spider graph! That affirms my personal impressions!

So let's talk about Kyle Larson and the 5. Kyle Larson is known for being good, which in racing generally means fast. HMS can put together some fast cars. But the fastest car isn't always the winning car. So what've we got? Here are my novice takes:

fast -- yes

loose -- he prefers a loose racecar (as opposed to tight)--understeer in the corners, where the back tends to swing out. If you can control it, you can find speed this way. Con? The if, I guess. And tire management, because a tire that's sliding isn't rolling.

aggressive -- Larson's self-descriptor, which in his context means shoving a car in places it does not seem like a car can fit (and often finding that it does not, in fact, fit there).

Case in point:

That was re: late braking/brake lockup, but when other cars are involved, aggression looks like shoving a car in places that dare the other guy to wreck them both or lift. This is why the "terminal avoidance" and "crash avoidance" stats take such a nosedive--because sometimes when you're playing with fire like that, you mess up. Or the other guy doesn't lift. But it makes for fantastic spectating, especially when coupled with the daring required to pass and come up the field (when you have the speed to do so). That kind of run can also be hard on tires, as well as fuel, though fuel is not typically as big a storyline as it has been in 2024. And I will say that KL has gotten a lot better at tire management than he has been in the past.

creative -- Adaptability to an ever-changing track and, again, the daring to try new lines and search around for whatever works, which Jeff Gordon describes as a dirt race thing, in that it's the bread and butter of that form of racing, given that a dirt track is different every lap.

clean -- It doesn't seem like "clean" and "aggressive" would go hand in hand, since being aggressive can result in wrecks and also means you're a pain in the bum to anyone you're racing, but there's lots of flavors to "aggressive" and KL is not a "rattle his cage" kind of guy. Which isn't to say the racing won't get phyisical--it just probably won't be retaliatory.

For example, my biggest kink is Kyle Larson getting eaten alive by JGR, and KyBu and Denny Hamlin have, historically, done this a lot, because their form of aggression is a lot more toothy, if you will. But KL's bit back sometimes, too. (MTJ has gotten in on this action by beating KL on restarts for years straight. But as you'll see in the graph, restarts have improved!)

I'll also note that I've definitely seen KL punt a backrunner out of his way, so he's not above such things entirely. But he's a terrible person to pick a fight with outside of the car, because he won't fight back.

--

He's just great to watch, on TV and live. Even if this style of racing is exceptionally make-or-break in a playoffs format, because when it's good it's so, so good and when it's bad it's real bad. But such are the tradeoffs, and it's really cool to look back and recognize the level of excellence that's happening in the car.

I'll caveat that by saying that I've watched Kyle Larson miss pit road in an Xfinity race because he... forgot?? to pay attention??? and have seen him wheel hop his way around a road course and tear the tires of a racecar overdriving it and push extremely badly in the draft and whiff a restart to the point of no return, and that realistically I've probably also seen him do... most of those things... in 2024, too... I saw someone say once that for someone so talented KL sure does a lot of things that are incredibly, gobsmackingly dumb, and I probably wouldn't argue against that.

[dangerously-human]

Still fighting for my life with tuition benefit stuff, in case anyone was wondering. I would like to submit my request for this semester, but we're still duking it out over last semester because of a problem from over a year ago and I don't want to swing at two hornet nests at once, so. Took every single dollar out of my savings account to pay tuition for this semester and am just praying I can get reimbursed before another rent check needs to go out (and Lord willing, my car won't need massive repairs at inspection this year). I'm doing an actual research study for my mixed methods class this semester, and the professor keeps saying she's fine with giving us an incomplete so we have another year to wrap it up in order to actually get something meaningful out of it. I finally talked to her last night to explain that I cannot afford to take another incomplete and ask how I could do a legitimate study on such a condensed timeline. Thankfully she was understanding and came up with an idea I think will work, since it involves basically just doing the quantitative portion under an existing protocol at work and a qualitative portion that doesn't count as human subjects research, so I don't have to deal with an IRB pissing contest between institutions, nor the debatable ethics of collecting data without compensating people for their time, given that it's unfunded research (and I really can't afford to pay people out of pocket when I'm already paying through the nose to be in this class in the first place). I'm still reworking my research plan, but I do feel a lot better about this in comparison to my plan as of last week, which would have required either submitting to both IRBs (and my work IRB is notorious for having different standards than most, and they/the data lawyers that often end up getting involved move slowly in this kind of situation) or submitting twice to my university IRB, once per phase.

Anyway, dealing with all of this today had me looking at what I really have left to do before I graduate. I'm halfway through the program now, though it feels like I've done way more. After I'm done with this class, which meets my advanced methods requirement (although round 2 of statistics probably did too), I have to eventually go back and take the foundations of the program course that was a scheduling conflict my first semester and somehow hasn't been offered since; another research apprenticeship (I'll probably write another manuscript, ideally one that's already been in progress for a bit at work - if I can get a loan, maybe I can do that this summer with my brief report I'm first authoring); plus two electives, which I was hoping to concentrate on measure design but would also happily do more advanced statistics courses if I'm allowed to take them through the school of psychology (I've tapped out the school of ed on that score). I guess I should ask if I'm allowed to say my job counts as an internship, which from the course catalog it looks like it should, but idk. Theoretically that puts me graduating... fall '25? Maybe? I could go so much faster if it weren't for the financial aspect. I do have to meet with an advisor at some point, but I still don't have one at the moment (again), which really seems like a problem for future me to figure out. But future me before May, because I think I'm still recorded as supposed to graduate this semester, even though it's been clear from the beginning that I was not a full-time student. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

They really do make this grad school thing as complicated as possible, don't they?

[gayamulet]

Art drawling

Its sort of wild how art came to a screeching halt as soon as I got a full time job. And yeah, there's a bunch of corresponding factors- a physically demanding full time job crammed into 4 days, that I'm older and so, working with less energy, sleeping a lot more (seriously wtf), and compartmentalizing time much more. Freestanding time & energy is less and has to be planned out and those times left open for the chance to 'do art' in whatever capacity I can do not equate to 100% output success rates like day job hours. I can go in with a 'fuck yeah, art night!' frame of mind and come out pretty unfulfilled (again, with the awareness that fulfillment is not the goal).

And of course recognizing that many more mundane tasks fulfill a bigger chunk of that makemakemake drive- meal prep, cleaning (ugh), plant care, yard care, mending work clothes, etc. And you know, the more annoying factor. A lot of that creative energy also gets fulfilled by mundane tasks at work- animal care, walking, cleaning (yes that includes complicated dogshit catastrophes), training, behavior data collection & entry. I come out of it of course physically tired because it is hard messy work, but it also just has me choosing/seeking artistic outlets less, and not feeling too bad about it introspectively. Its make-drive going someplace useful, through whatever framework my brain has established as useful, idk.

All this brings me to my actual point of frustration with art-making, that when I have time and there is a bit of planning involved (I have exactly one con art show and local tiny art market to work toward this summer) and I sit down and I casually think about what I'd like, for me, for these events with no pressure and, again, for me, that

I just don't want to make myself anything. That it already exists, that there are endless iterations of whatever visual landscape I'm riffing through at any given time, that it doesn't need physical manifestation, that it no longer serves me creatively, that I don't care. I can dangle a glittery new process (ink, linocut, etc) like a its-about-the-process carrot in front of me, but suddenly I don't like carrots. And it feels, less born of a dead creative drive, and more like...an extension of what I don't want from other people- junk. That I do not want to generate more junk for myself. Does this make sense? I think it sounds more heartless than I mean for it to. Like unless there is very defined intention, then I don't need it? I cannot think of a way to explain it that doesn't sound protestant as fuck. Maybe I've hit some critical mass of art intake overload thanks to the internet, maybe this is just what creativity looks like now. Tho, there's enough of a useful task involved that freelance artwork is still hopping along- much more slowly than before for all the regular reasons listed above- but otherwise its fine. I still get that pleasant little brain buzz.

I get these surges of frustration, that I've fallen off from working toward some ultra-personalized visual landscape goal like I used to, that once I do I'll be perceived as human again, or something. Like this is still some pinnacle of artistic merit, in some mythical corner of my brain. But those surges are much less frequent than they used to be, and fizzle out quickly. And idk. Art isn't going anywhere in my life, but where it comes from and how I'm making and shaping things is changing again. I guess?

*I DO, however, wanna make more cardboard masks. So bad.

**I know I kept this in a pretty strict work vs art vacuum, without acknowledging other uses of time, including other hobbies which of course also accounts for creative/emotional outlet but you know what I'm gonna stop here before you guys figure out I'm actually a robot

[anomalocaris2hu]

Valle Verde Episode 2 Japanese Translation and Speculation

As I mentioned in my previous post, this episode has a lot more Japanese in it than the first one. So much, in fact, that I won't be able to translate it all. I will try and transcribe and translate the most salient parts. As before, make sure you watch the original video before reading this or it will not make much sense.

All the locations are ??? except for "city hall."

"Hoc est verum" is a Latin phrase meaning "this is the truth." Searching gives me a longer phrase "Hoc est verum et nihili nisi verum," meaning "This is the truth and nothing but the truth." This is another clear reference to Christianity, echoing verses such as John 14:6 (using the NRSVUE):

Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Mori no Machi would be "Forest Town," presumably another city in the world of Valle Verde.

This is the clearest shot of that poster so far, and I'm confident that it says 私を信じて "trust in me."

記録 "Records" as in a hall of records or archives.

Umi no Machi is "Sea(side) Town." Also, the name Berenjeno sounds like the word *berenjena* which means "eggplant."

キョロちゃんのプリクラ大作戦 is a real video game. The title means something like "Kyoro-chan's Great Photo-booth Tactics." Kyoro-chan is a mascot character for a chocolate brand, and apparently the game is a side-scrolling action game where you play as Kyoro-chan and go around to photo-booths to take your picture. This is the kind of game that I doubt ever saw the light of day outside of Japan, but it's listed as belonging to Matias, who is established as being from Argentina.

The Shizuoka Institute of Science and Technology (SIST) is once-again involved with another game, this one called Tharsis: The Legend.

The title is meant to say something like "THARSIS: The Legend" but does so in a way that doesn't make much grammatical sense. I think 伝説のTHARSIS would have worked better.

The summer of 1997, which I'm pretty sure is the time the events of Valle Verde are taking place based on VHS timestamps.

Now we get into the meat of the untranslated Japanese in this part; the whole opening of THARSIS is narrated in Japanese without subtitles. The Japanese is quite stilted at points and probably wasn't written by a native speaker, so my translation will be what I think the writer was trying to say.

Bargoff　「私は今、主導権を握っている。状況は？」 B　「我々は、２０分前に潜入させられた。誰かが、ダクトから入った。」

Bargoff: I am in control now. What's the situation?

B: We were infiltrated 20 minutes ago. Someone entered from the ducts.

Eva　「悲しいことに、彼らはどこにでもいることができます。」

Eva: Unfortunately, they could be anywhere.

Once the game is started, we get subtitles, so I'll only translate if there's a significant difference between the Japanese and subtitles.

"Connection lost"

"Sodom? Gomorrah? No, those who play (at being) God."

The base 64 decodes to "There can be no peace in the world."

Now for the speculation. It seems like whatever the monster in THARSIS is has leaked into Valle Verde - we're shown these insect-like things "sucking" the data out of entities from other games (including Angel Quest).

As for what Nottt is, he seems to be some kind of AI created for Valle Verde. Nottt saw the children that were absorbed into the game (through the THBrain?) and heard their screams in multiple languages. In order to not comprehend the screams any longer, he removed the modules that allowed him to know all languages except for Spanish.

I'm not sure how the THBrain works exactly, but it may be some kind of brain-computer interface. When the game is generating content (as opposed to playing scripted content), the text box changes color and a gear icon appears. Perhaps information from the brain of the user (such as subconscious thoughts, etc.) is used to generate new content?

[tchaikovskym]

So far my phd experiences have been very varying. I'm going to list them.

Cons:

- no funding => had to call in favors for my research (like I need a guy to collect blood bc I can't do that)

- no clear organization structure => not clear what I have to do when I'm just wating for emails at this point, because so far all the emails I've sent with questions where answered with "sorry, we don't know, will notify when do"

- going to conferences paid by uni is another form of torment that I didn't know existed (getting all the formalities checked)

- not having a class/group, you're basically on your own. There is a group chat with news and job ads, but that's about it.

- it's asked to do some teaching/supervising, which is okay if you are employed by the uni, but basically an unpaid work if you're not

- no summer break (well there is a month technically but like. Lol. Nope)

- people think im stupid and wasting my time

- in data collection period I basically have no free time. At all. Like there was a point I woke up at 5:30am and was home at like 23:30 bc I had research scheduled 7-11 and 19-23 with my other job in between

Pros:

- I get to do research and department support for that

- I have a reason to keep up with latest research in my field

- Taking courses with other phd students who are really really smart

- going to conferences abroad

- free schedule that I can plan myself; also uni knows most phd students are employed and offers activities in the evenings

- feeling like I'm breaking the role society has put on me. I was born in a rather poor (or like lower lower middle class) family. I'm a woman. The highest degree in my family before me is a bachelor’s degree. A lot of odds against me!

- my advisor thinks I have the qualities for getting a phd and I want to prove her right. I like our little department and I want to be with them a little longer

- I believe I'll have better job opportunities if I get my degree and want to yeet myself north

- it's free. (Even better now - I get paid a little from the government for being a good student lol. This could change in september if other folks are better than me lol)

- I like research and I like learning new laboratory methods and I even like doing data analysis and I like drawing conclusions

[omg-snakes]

There's been so much recent debate about what a corn snake's humidity should be kept at that it's making me rethink my own levels. I'm hearing ranges as low as 20% and as high as 70% (which seems absurd... but some people are absolutely swearing by it).

I'm currently keeping mine at 30%. I'd like to raise it somewhat but I'm scared of my baby getting a respiratory illness.

As someone who keeps a lot of corn snakes, what do you think? What do you keep your snakes at, and do you mist your tanks at all? Thanks.

Hey friend!

An important factor in successfully keeping an animal in captivity is knowing what their natural habitat is like so that we can effectively mimic it.

Corn snakes are a highly adaptable snake that is found in the southeastern US from the Florida Keys to as far north as New Jersey and as far west as Kentucky. As you can imagine, there is a massive variety of climates and habitats within that range. From grasslands to wetlands, forests to farms, there are corn snakes. They're built to adapt and survive. It's part of what makes them such a hardy and easy to keep species in captivity!

I keep my snakes at ambient humidity for Northern California, which is admittedly on the drier end of the spectrum, and they do just fine. I'll sometimes mist a little bit in summer, but it's not frequent. I absolutely provide a humid hide on the warm side of the enclosure year-round, though. I find that my snakes will use their humid hides more often around a shed or in the cooler months. Ultimately as long as your humidity levels are similar to those found in the southeast, or you're at least providing humid zones within the enclosure, it's not so critical a data point as like temperature or photoperiod.

Ready for some absurdity?

The average humidity in Florida is about 60-70%.

[horce-divorce]

screenshots edited for privacy bc MALS Pals is a private group; however, MALS is very poorly understood and putting all the best info we have about it behind an access barrier like a Facebook group (where you not only have to join both FB and the group, but then the information itself is haphazardly organized). likewise, you'll noticed these claims aren't sourced, which is noteworthy but not necessarily damning and I'll explain why in a second.

i read something in the group today that may be a huge game changer not just for me and other people who already have a MALS diagnosis, but for people with related conditions or who suspect they may have EDS. (if you've had persistent stomach pain for years, had the full gastro workup and everything comes back 'normal'? Have them look at your arteries next; MALS is an arterial compression that causes nerve damage and extreme pain and difficulty digesting, to such a degree that you can have panic attacks when attempting to eat & may wind up on a feed tube.)

it was actually wild to me to see this spelled out so well bc a lot of us have noticed the connection btwn things like MALS, EDS, POTS, endometriosis and other conditions, and it makes sense with stuff like POTS (both end up having vascular components that mean blood's not going where it needs to) and even with EDS, as explained here:

"he went looking for MALS (Dopper US) in his other EDS/immune/GI patients this summer and so far they're ALL coming back with the combo."

some others have pointed out in the comments that they'd really like to, you know, see any research about this, since the existing stuff doesn't seem to point towards an autoimmune component-- however, existing research is severely lacking, and this data may not be compiled yet. MALS is, again, rare, often overlooked, often complicated, and as a result, poorly understood.

as far as MALS Pals goes, it's a fantastic, indispensable treasure trove of information and resources; it is the reason I haven't quit facebook yet. I don't wanna lose my MALS Pals. but unfortunately some of the best information we have is info that's being shared privately between doctors and their patients, and then from the patients with the rest of the group. for example, we had a video somewhere of a doctor explaining the MALS + POTS connection in great detail, it was FASCINATING, and it was from a private conference/talk and thus not allowed to be shared outside of the group. which infuriates me, I'd love to have a MALS Pals forum where we can index this stuff, but that's a topic for another post.

so anyway, there were also people pointing out that often one of the issues with MALS is that, left untreated, it causes other arterial compressions (like SMAS) which are also hard to diagnose and can then go untreated as well; but there are tons of people (some even in the comments here as well!) who have had multiple MALS and other compression release surgeries, some who have even had "successful" surgeries (no compression shown on ultrasound, good blood flow, nerve damage addressed and so forth), but who still had GI symptoms and pain afterwards-- sometimes increased by the stress of surgery.

MALS surgery itself is wildly variable depending on which surgeon does it for you. The leaders in MALS treatment (Dr. Hsu) can get up to 80% "successful" surgeries, but as mentioned, that doesn't necessarily mean the patient was at any point effectively relieved of their pain and symptoms. meanwhile, other places (U of Mich) cite a 50% or less rate of success, and don't bother following up with other possible complications (they completely dismissed my concerns about looking for additional compressions in my own body); those are the cases where surgery also caused further complications and the patients recovered poorly.

anyway I just thought this was WAY too interesting to scroll past w/o saving for later reference. there are loads of resources in the files for this group, but some of the best information gets passed around in regular posts and comments and then buried by countless others. but there's a common thread with almost all of us struggling with MALS in these groups, and that's that we are piecing this together very largely on our own; there are only a VERY small number of doctors who are even acknowledging this, let alone researching it.

sorry there's no actual research involved, I'd like to see it, too. but it's something to keep an eye out for in coming years.

and again, I want to reiterate that if you have had the full gastro workup and your doctors are still throwing up their hands and saying nothing is wrong with your stomach, despite you being miserable and not being able to eat? it really might not be your stomach... it could be your veins and/or nerve damage, and the initial test to look at those arteries is just an ultrasound.

[hexitca]

My relationship with social media

So I've done mini breaks from all social media/limited my social media use to like 10 mins and I've been both successful and not successful (depending on how bad my mood was and what distractions I needed to stop thinking about the thing that was upsetting me lol

More rambling under read more~

but I want to get back into learning to draw and make art! I want to interact more with people! But it seems like social media is becoming so much harder to do any of that.

Twitter is dying (and I just read something about it mining your data for AI shit so I REALLY DON'T wanna even be on there to lurk anymore)

Tumblr is....honestly I have no clue. It seems to be doing shit that is trying to be the new Twitter but also just making stupid choices for the sake of??? being stupid bc I KNOW no one asked for half the shit they keep changing on tumblr. I understand that it needs to make money etc etc but can you pls be smart and not break the site??

I don't fuck with FB, Insta, etc I just don't.

I have a Pillowfort but idk maybe I'll move over there. I think bc I still use Tumblr I'm not fully on there yet but if Tumblr continues to be an ass in the next 5 years I might.

Idk as I navigate my life in the next year or so, I just don't see any desire to be on Social Media of any kind. I doubt I'll leave fully but man...idk something has got to change for me to even think of continuing on with any social media. Maybe bc I'm getting older now. I still love fandoms and the art I see and I want to do MORE than lurk but idk. I just hate hearing update after update of them stealing our info and all these restrictions like fuck you I'll just leave?! but then I get sad that I lose any connections I've made with the people I've interacted with. I might not talk a lot bc im a shy bitch but dammit I care about these people on a certain level. I don't want to lose that.

Idk, I've just been thinking about this all summer and how to navigate my relationship with it. Since losing my job i've used it more as a crutch but as I (hopefully) pass this test and start my path to teaching, I still want to enjoy it from time to time. I just get really bitter when I think back to when I was on other social media sites as a teen and think back to the type of freedom on there vs now. THAT'S NOT TO IGNORE ALL THE FUCKED UP SHIT THAT SHOWED UP but idk there had to be a better way than screwing over all the artists that might have drawn nsfw or even suggestive art. But also there is twitter and it's whole algorithm that fucks with artists as well. I never got into extreme shit but ive heard others have and regulations were barely there. But damn...how it is now kinda sucks also.

I kinda miss places like deviantart (im talking early 2000s idk what happened at a certain point lol) or Mibba (a writing forum blog site) or Quizilla. I miss that atmosphere of "social media". Maybe I'm being a little emotional and nostalgia is getting to me but i do know im really sick of everything that is now web 2.0.

[gear-project]

Merry Christmas GP!!!!🌲🌲🌲🎄🎄🎄⛄⛄⛄

And it's also Dizzy's, Elphelt's, And Axl-low's birthday as well!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa🎉🎉🎊🎊🎂🎂🎈🎈

Is there anything more you can say about these characters during this special holiday celebrate GP?🙂

Merry Christmas to you as well (and don't think I haven't noticed how often you Reblog my stuff~).

Since it's Christmas, I'll throw in as much knowledge about the Holiday pertaining to everyone as I can!

Okay, Starting with Dizzy:

In-story, the first time she was "canonically mentioned" was actually in the Lightning the Argent novel, which takes place just prior to the events of Guilty Gear X.

It's especially interesting to note that Lightning the Argent itself took place roughly in December of 2180, while it would be roughly a month later that Ky would encounter Dizzy (and quite the encounter it was) in January of 2181.

The reason January 2181 is interesting in this case, is simply BECAUSE Dizzy's Birthday is celebrated on December 25th.

So in fact, Dizzy had only just turned 3 years old as of December 25th, 2180 (several months after Sol had dispatched Justice, her 'biological mother/copy'). Counting backwards, that makes Dizzy's "REAL" date of Birth: December 25th, 2177.

Of course, you all know that for 'roughly' every human year, Gears develop 7 times that rate, so Dizzy was already "roughly 21" in appearance as of January 2181 when she met Ky. It's rather unfortunate that neither Dizzy nor Sin (her son) got to experience a normal childhood like other people...

But I think Ky will do everything in his power to make sure his family enjoy themselves however they can, especially on a Holiday like Christmas~!

Moving on, let's talk about Elphelt:

While she was 'born' in the Backyard, she was still born on December 25th as well.

However, she was born with the remnants of the original Valentine's Gear Cell Prime Field data (which explains how she could teleport near Sol, Ky, Sin, and Dizzy as she needed to, as part of her mission parameters).

But here's something you may not know: Valentine's Campaign ended in 2186, and Ramlethal (her sister) didn't make a public appearance until 2187.

So, in fact, Elphelt was BORN on December 25th, 2186, while her younger sister Ramlethal would be born in the summer of the next year.

Despite how silly Elphelt sometimes behaves, she does act like a responsible older sister to Ram in many subtle ways. One of those ways was helping her to understand Human behavior.

Both sisters have matured a lot since the events of Xrd Sign and Revelator... Ram especially during the events of Strive.

Okay, let's talk about AXL!

While it's true, the man's born on December 25th... that actually all depends on what Timeline you're talking about!

William Bruce Baily a.k.a. William Bruce Rose Jr. a.k.a. Axel Rose was born in Lafayette, Indiana on February 6th, 1962. February certainly isn't December, is it?

But of course, that would only apply to "Will's Timeline" (Axl's alternate timeline counterpart).

Furthermore, Axl himself hails from the United Kingdom (East End, Cotswolds, London, England), that's not even REMOTELY close to American soil, even!

This is significant because in the past, when Axl would frequently experience Time Slips, he would end up at different points of the globe, and yet somehow those locations had something to do with either his past or something connected with him in various timelines.

Furthermore, how could Axl get his hands on Frederick's old childhood photo, when Frederick himself lived in America for most of his youth?

Time Slipping or Time Tripping, either way, Axl has been around the globe and then some. He's even seen prehistoric Dinosaurs!

I'm sure it was pretty tough for Axl to spend Christmas alone every year up until now... but now that Megumi is with him, he's got the best present ever~.

Well, that's it... of course, that's not the only 'gift' you should expect to get for now.

But I'll save that as a surprise~.