#so i took it and made it a newsies reference

[arisofinsanity]

just a moon so big and yellow it turns night right into day

[one-highfalutin-sonuva-gun]

Origins of Swifty's clothes

Ever noticed how Swifty's underwear is all shredded? (It wasn't because of Pie Eater). Swifty is based on Kelly the Rake and here is the reason why:

"Kelly the Rake," who owned but one sleeve to his jacket. In newsboy parlance a "rake" is a boy who will appropriate to his own use anything he can lay his hands on"

So essentially Swifty took someone else's old torn underwear and decided to make it his own.

For his outerwear, what's interesting about Swifty's vest is that it has a connection to his Chinese roots. Swifty's vest is unique amongst the Newsies. It looks like it's made from an oversized piece of fabric that's fastened at the collar and left side by pins/ clips/ ribbons or the like. In contrast to the other Newsies' vest which are form fitting, separated in the middle and have buttons.

Also, Swifty's hat is rather unique in that it's smaller and more snug that the regular Newsie caps. It doesn't have bagginess around the sides.

See how, even though Pie Eater's cap is smaller like Swifty's, there's extra bagginess in the front that's missing from Swifty's:

Here are examples of the type of clothing that some Chinese men would've worn around the 19th century when Newsies was taking place:

Swifty's vest looks near identical to the first pic. However, his vest lacks a collar and has extra slits on the front, back and sides. His hat is shaped like the second pic but with an added front brim. The other two hats have upturned brims around the hat. The costume designer might've combined the looks of both types of hats together in some way.

The brim of Swifty's hat is very pliable and can be curved back with his hand, which is how he prefers to wear it most of the time. Even though he likes wearing it back, the brim isn't very stable and drops back into the default position of curving forwards like regular Newsies caps when he's dancing.

The rest of his clothes are more Western styled from his suspenders and shirt down to his trousers and shoes. I guess going for a full Chinese ensemble would've been too distracting (and hard to dance in). It could also be a reference to the actor being half Caucasian. It's great that they still paid homage to his heritage through the vest and maybe hat.

[stickwalk]

I just watched Newsies Jr. for the first time and i have some…. uh…. thoughts.

i loved that the children’s crusade was fully Kathrine’s idea. in the original all she did was write the poster and Jack had to come up with how to print it and that always felt off-putting, to say the least, when she made it out to be their saving grace but had no idea how to pull it off.

It was cute that Jack referred to the newsies as his family when the Delancys were picking on Crutchie but it made him wanting to go to Santa Fe make even less sense. in the original you could say he was a little oblivious or just needed to be reminded that they were family but in the Jr. version he is just fully ready to abandon his family to find a new one. On top of that there seemed to be a lack of continuity with him leaving for Santa Fe right before the rally. Medda tells him about how leaving is fine but he shouldn’t run away while giving him the money to leave and saying goodbye but when David, Les, and Kathrine show up Jack says he’ll never be able to leave. it just doesn’t make much sense in my opinion.

At the mention of Crutchie: i feel like giving him a name made all the newsies look mean. I get what Disney was doing with not wanting to just call the disabled character Crutchie but it doesn’t work when he’s never called Casey. He is called Casey three times and every other time he is called Crutchie.

The first time he’s called Casey, it’s by himself. he’s talking to David and Les for the first time and says his names Casey but friends call him Crutchie. what was the point of saying Casey? he could of said ‘you can call me crutchie’ or something like that but he made a point of saying Casey. This gives the implication that he wants to be called Casey, not Crutchie. The second time he is called Crutchie is by Medda. Medda’s nice and shown to be nice and well know to the newsies so why would she call him Casey if he’s good with Crutchie? the third time is by Roosevelt when calling him to walk out to reveal the Refuge is getting shut down. in response all the newsies go ‘who?’ and then start yelling ‘Crutchie!’. with the previous implications of him not liking Crutchie compared to Casey it is just not a good look for the newsies.

During the scene where Kathrine asking the newsies why they’re afraid of Brooklyn she comes off as excessively defensive. It’s definitely her right to be defensive considering her circumstances but she was also the one that just walked in on their meeting and basically called them pathetic.

they got rid of the bottom line, the bottom line reprise, watch what happens reprise, and the little song before Jack tells everyone they won. it makes sense, it’s for kids to perform so they wanted it to be shorter thats whatever. They also got rid off That’s rich and Don’t Come a Knocking and replaced it with a song about how women can do anything which wouldn’t bother me much except it is not very good.

The scabbers gave up so quickly it’s ridiculous. it took like three sentences before they’re all in with the strike.

The scenes before and right after the World Will Know we’re mixed up together in such a way that all the dialogue feels odd and it’s confusing to follow.

I’m glad they got rid of the awkward Jathrine scenes, even though i’m okay with the ship they are odd, but so sad they felt the need to add a scene of David and Les getting crushes on the bowery beauties.

Before people come after me for being so critical of something made for kids to perform and watch: i would be a-okay with it if the changes they made made sense but they were either nonsensical for the characters/story or unevenly applied throughout the story.

Anyways it was fine. not particularly bad or good but an enjoyable experience nonetheless

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Violence is (Almost) Never the Answer

Fandom: Newsies Pairing: Jack Kelly/David Jacobs Rating: T Genres/Tropes: Protective!Jack Words: 4,646

Summary:

Violence is never the answer. Unless of course, the question is “Who soaked Davey Jacobs?” And, unless of course, Jack Kelly is the one doing the asking. Or Jack walks in on Davey getting the crap beat out of him. He responds accordingly.

A/N:

A/N: So my bestie introduced me to newsies and i truly have been a changed person and not known sanity since. As requested by the loml @jlmjlmjlm in which we were facetiming and talking about newsies fic and the conversation turned into: Jess: … why haven’t you written Javey fic for me yet? (Important context: I have never written newsies fic) Me: uh what do you want? Jess: *giggling* I want someone to beat the SHIT out of Davey Me: understood. In this conversation, she also asked for: *Hurt/Comfort (but like, not cheesy) (props to her for thinking i can pull that off though) *Found family *Getting together This is the result [LAW AND ORDER SOUND EFFECT] DUN DUN (ily and know an attempt was made)

Walking Mouth. 

Ironically, it had been Race who first used it to refer to Davey, after he’d pointed out Race’s extra hand of Aces in a round of cards. It took some getting used to, but now Davey quite enjoys the nickname given to him by the newsies. It’s supposed to be an acknowledgment, of sorts, of his alleged way with words. 

Granted, he’s had the privilege to be schooled, and granted, he is known for frequenting the library on summers off, but he doesn’t know if he’d consider himself the voice of the strike, as Katherine so eloquently put it in her newspaper article.

She’d called Jack the face to Davey’s voice in that same article, and while them being seen as a unit twists Davey’s stomach all up into knots, it’s not a sentiment he can bring himself to agree with. It’s not a title he really feels comfortable giving to himself.

Jack, really, is the one who takes center stage in a crowd. Despite his nickname, most of the time Davey is rather content to just sit on the sidelines and spectate as the chaos of thirty unsupervised kids unfolds.

Today, chaos has taken the name of Racetrack Higgins.

Continue on AO3

[emmedoesntdomath]

Bumlets 😚😚😚

oh, bumlets. my sweet child.

first of all, go read the bumlets appreciation post that @itteryskay reblogged like,,, forever and a day ago (the OP has since deleted their account). it’s amazing, I love it, and there’s a good deal about dominic lucero (the actor who played bumlets in 92sies), who tragically passed at 26, two years after the movie premiered.

ok, so- bumlets. here’s me acknowledging that I’m predictable as shit, and we’re going to delve into his name. a ‘bum’ doesn’t actually refer to a lazy person, but to the butt of a cigar. also, when one says ‘can I bum a cigar?’ they’re asking if they can have one. when calling bumlets- well, bumlets, they’re essentially saying that he’s either known for smoking cigars (like race) OR that he had a bad/funny experience with them.

and, well. you know me. imma go with the second option.

what I think happened is a lil’ something like this- when he first became a newsie (and I’d say it was around 12/13), bumlets REALLY wanted to make friends, because he had a harder time trying to do that when he went to school (his family was firmly lower middle class, and his clothes tended to reflect that. the other kids…had some thoughts they deemed appropriate to share about this matter). and all of the cool, older guys smoked, right? so bumlets was like, hey! I should do that! (no, sir.) and so one day he just- took?? the butt??? of someone else’s used cigar????? and tried to smoke it??????????? (ha. notice how I said tried?) when he got caught, he was bent over, hacking and wheezing, trying to get the awful taste of smoke out of his lungs. hence, ‘bumlets’.

now, since he was played by dominic lucero (who was latino, according to different sources I’ve found), and he doesn’t have another name given to him by the fandom, I’ve taken it upon myself to dub him michael herrera (which means ‘iron worker’, so it could be a last name acquired when his parents- who probably planned on working in the factories- traveled through ellis island and had to go through customs). not saying we have to use this name, but I am saying I’M using this name from now on. so.

ok, if you’ve made it this far, buckle up pronto. because my favorite bit of ALL of my bumlets hcs (and believe me, I have more. he’s easily one of my favorites, if not tied for first), is who I ship him with. alright, you ready?

…

*clears throat so I can yell this REALLY loudly*

BUMLETS/SKITTERY IS MY LIFE BLOOD AND YOU CAN’T ROB ME OF THAT. LIKE- 92SIES GAVE US SOME GOOD SHIPS- JAVEY, SPRACE (ralbert fans, I love you, too, but this ain’t that show), SARAH WITH ABSOLUTELY NO ONE BECAUSE KATH ISN’T AROUND YET- BUT BUMLETS AND SKITTERY????????? MY HEART. THEY ARE LITERALLY THE BLACK CAT/GOLDEN RETRIEVER COUPLE OF 92SIES. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK

[toffyrats]

guys i made a crack treated seriously kinda drabble do you wanna see it. ofc you do basically its an involuntary time travel type thing where albert gets spat out into the hsm timeline (because who’s to say newsies and hsm didn’t take place in the same universe they ARE like 100 years apart /hj) anywayzzzz i didn’t beta this. i didn’t research for this. it sucks on purpose. lets begin.

 when albert woke up, immediately a sharp shooting pain shot through his head. he groaned and tried to sit up, to no avail.

     “you’re awake!” an unfamiliar voice echoed through albert’s ears. “i was starting to think you’d never get up.”

     albert finally opened his eyes and the sight shocked him fully awake. instead of the cold but familiar sight of the lodging house and sleeping boys in bunks scattered around him, he was met with the inside of an odd contraption with metal, leather, and flashing lights- and two concerned-looking teenagers staring straight at him.

     “where am i?” he asked slowly, trying to keep his calm. “what”s goin on? who are you people?”

     “hey, calm down,” the one with the dark, messy curls and ugly-looking shirt whispered. “you’re in the backseat of my boyfriend’s car. we found you passed out on the street.”

     before albert could even process everything going on in that sentence, the other boy spoke. “what in the world are you wearing?” he snickered, and the boy next to him clearly bit back a laugh of his own. 

     albert scowled. “i could ask you the same question,” he retorted. even though the blonde boy was dressed slightly more normal than his partner, the colors on his outfit were all over the place- where the hell did this guy find clothing that pink? albert looked him up and down in sort of a strange awe. he reminded him acutely of someone. blonde hair, blue eyes, great smile-��race, he realized, but pushed the thought out of his head as soon as it had arrived. 

     “wow, okay. so, no sense of fashion. cataloguing that for later,” not-race snorted. 

     messy hair shook his head. “ease off the poor guy, c’mon. something’s obviously wrong.” he pointed to not-race and smiled. “his name’s ryan. he’s a little over-the-top sometimes.” ignoring the indignant shout that came from the other boy- ryan- messy hair continued. “my name’s chad.” he held out his hand politely.

     “those are the weirdest names i’ve ever heard.” albert realized too late that it wasn’t really the right thing to say coming from a guy whose friends’ names were things like racetrack and finchley. he spat in his hand anyways and held it out infront of chad’s. 

     chad looked disgusted, and ryan physically repulsed with a sound akin to a hissing cat.

     “sorry,” albert said quietly, not feeling very sorry at all. he wiped his hand on his pants and held it out again.

     chad took it this time, albeit slightly reluctantly.

     “who are you?” ryan asked, clearly becoming more and more confused- and a little pissed off- at albert as the time went on.

     “albert dasilva. a completely normal name, might i add.”

     ryan snickered again. “i like the accent. it’s cute.”

     albert glared daggers at him and turned back to chad, since he assumed he’d be a little easier on him. “you said this was your boyfriend’s?” he asked, referring to the flashy metal contraption he had been evidently trapped in. “and you mean him?” he pointed to ryan.

     chad nodded slowly, a little confused. “yeah, why?”

     “well, first of all,” albert continued, his words flowing out faster, feeling a little flustered, “boyfriend??? since when is that even legal? and what the hell is this thing?!” he scrambled around in the leather (was this some kind of chair?) and cursed under his breath. “are you trappin’ me in here? what’s going on?”

     ryan and chad glanced at eachother, clearly baffled but coming to some sort of telepathic agreement. they both turned back to albert with the same concerned look on both their faces.

     “buddy,” ryan started, “what year do you think it is?”

     “1899, idiot!” albert shouted. chad’s eyes widened and ryan clapped a hand over his mouth. “what, do you not have a calendar along with all of this fancy shit?” albert started to feel worried. what exactly was happening right now? “so stupid you don’t even know what year it is?” 

     “kid. albert, was it? albert. al.” chad was clearly choosing his words carefully. “it’s 2007.”

[atticus-redwood]

“Commission” I did for @bigmack2go , reason for air quotes is that it didn’t cost them anything, so it’s technically not a commission.

This was a reference sheet of their character, Flames, for the discord newsies roleplay server I made, The Mystics

Overall it took me 58 layers and 5 hours to make, but it took me almost a day to get to them because I was busy with thanksgiving stuff

[sweaterkittensahoy]

#LMAOOOOOOO#video#newsies#king of new york#thank you I’ve been listening to this song since I was 6 I LOVE NEWSIES#and I still didn’t know what half the lyrics meant

I'm in a mood to over-explain, so let's look at what all the kids say they'd do as King of New York with some annotations by yours truly:

A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces - this speaks to the level of poverty the newsies live in. They work 12-hour days, but they can't afford new shoes with matching laces. Or, they can afford new shoes now and again, but they can't keep the laces matched if one breaks. Basically, even if they save up for a pair of new shoes, they'll likely spend a penny on a single lace that doesn't match the other rather than the (I'm guessing) 3-5 cents a pair of laces would cost because that extra couple of cents is needed for other things.

A permanent box at Sheepshead races - Ah, yes, Race the Newsie. Every kid's touchstone in this movie from a time, place, and child labor that any kid can connect with. Because this line is about wanting the best seat at the horse races because this underage person is a degenerate gambler (it's noted his entire pay goes to the races on a regular basis) who thinks having the best seat in the house will make him a better gambler.

A porcelain tub with boilin' water - 1992 kids totally knew about cold water flats and how the olden times kids took baths right? RIGHT??? Because this line assumes that a kid is going to hear this line and not scream at the idea that a Newsie wants to be boiled like a hot dog.

A Saturday night with the Mayor's daughter - The upper age for kids in the theater for this movie was probably 10 or 12. And someone in the writer's room went, "What if one Newsie was SUPER HORNY?" And the other writers went, "Heeeeeey..."

A corduroy suit with fitted knickers - Corduroy was used in children's school uniforms in the early 1900s. This line--I'm guessing--is a comment on how the Newsies want to look like the kids who can afford to go to school. They can blend in with the societal betters if they can have this suit. But, again, Disney asking 1992 kids to get that reference is some bullshit. And a one-off line in a musical is not going to send kids on a historical fashion hunt.

A mezzanine seat to see the flickers - This one gets two strikes. First of all, the use of "mezzanine" in a fucking kids' movie. Sung by a kid. For kids. Second of all, saying "flickers," a completely unused work to describe movies in 1992 and which is not previously established for kids to pick up on means this line likely just sounded like gibberish. It means being in the first balcony at the theater, which is an excellent seat that costs extra.

Havana cigars that cost a quarter - Ah, yes, child smoking to such a degree he has opinions on the best cigars. A classic moment of childhood for us all. I am genuinely shocked this line made it in. Underaged smoking was one of the things Nancy Regan targeted in her "Just Say No" campaigns. By 1992, there was all kinds of shit about how smoking would murder you in a dark alley if you even looked at a cigarette.

An editor's desk for the star reporter - See my note above for 1:47.

Anyway, that's the next ten minutes of my forty-minute rant.

I threatened a 40-minute video of annoyance with this, but I'm lazy, so here's a time-stamped dick pull instead:

It's the catchiest song in the whole fucking movie, and it does nothing to earn any love or devotion from any version of its audience.

0:36: "you got yourselves on the front page." accurate.

0:40: "So what, you get your picture in the pape, so what's that get you, huh?" -- A fair question from a kid who understands via selling papes how quickly headlines change. Which is established earlier in the film in a way that kids were meant to pick up on.

0:41: "What are you talkin' about, huh?" / (various newsies saying 'shut up you've been in a bad mood, etc.) / "You're glum and dumb. What's the matter with you? You're in the papes you're famous! You're famous, you get anything you want!" -- Previous scenes have set up that the Newsies understand the rules of Yellow Journalism, so to have Race get annoyed that another seasoned Newsie questions why it matters they're on the front page when they all know the front page will change basically instantly is to undercut what we've already been told the Newsies know themselves. Also, this has been made clear to the kids who are watching who undoubtedly picked it up.

0:58: "And that's what's so great about New York!" this is meant to show that New York is great because anyone can be famous for one edition. But we've seen the Newsies understand that this means nothing in the greater story. Having any Newsie in this scene claim front page status makes anyone famous doesn't work with the story that's already been set up. And, again, this has been made clear for THE KIDS IN THE AUDIENCE.

0:59: "A Pair of new shoes with matching laces" / "A permanent box at Cheapshead Races." / "A porcelin tub with boiling water" -- growing up in the early 90s, I'm sure I identified with the idea of new shoes with matching laces (it was a THING), but I sure as shit didn't have any sense of why having an easier time gambling would make a fellow kid happy (because I wasn't raised by OR a degenerate child gambler). And while I happened to grow up in a situation where I did NOT always have hot water on tap, the phrasing here didn't provide any explanation about why I should care about someone wanting a tub with BOILING WATER.

1:08: "A Saturday night with the Mayor's daughter!" This movie was aimed, at the oldest, towards 10-12 year olds. My best wishes to anyone who felt a tingle in their jeans at this moment and spent many years wondering why they wanted to fuck pirates.

1:13: "Look at me, I'm the King of New York." Vinnie from Dougie Howser MD was why I watched this movie the moment I could get my hands on it in my own home, and he delivers. Thank you, Max Casella. You did great.

1:22: "Nobbing with all the muckety-mucks…" I respect Christian Bale as an actor. He is SO BAD in this movie. He can't sing or dance for shit, and I wanna backhand whoever cast him in this role.

1:34: The Newsies fighting over the paper when the movie has etablished they know being on the front page doens't mean shit is a fucking problem.

1:38: "A courdrory suit with fitted knickers / a mezzanine seat to see the flickers / Havana cigars that cost a quarter" Are you just listing shit that no kid in the early 90s is going to be able to understand as important or were you all too high on coke to give a shit???

1:47: "An Editor's desk for the star reporter" See previous comment. No fucking child in any point knows what an editor is, why that desk is important, or what a star reporter is. Disney was just coked out at this point.

1:53: Bull Pullman put his whole cunt into this performance, and I love that for him. The script never could decide how much emphasis he should have, but he showed up in every scene as Cool Uncle Cunt and showed them. Good for him.

2:01: Calm down every spotlight-stealer we knew in high school.

2:10: "Proud yet humble, he's the king of New York." -- Max Casella proving why I loved this movie when young.

2:18: "Tomorrow they might wrap fishes in it / but I was a star for one whole minute!" Proving--AGAIN--that these kids know how fragile the news cycle is, yet we're supposed to think they're all excited about making the front page????

2:24: The dancing is in no way with the beat of the song, and I am pretty sure my molars no longer exist because I ground them to dust.

2:32: They are now in sync with the beat, but my molars are still fucking dust.

2:37: This is a kid power movie. Pullman shouldn't be jumping on a table to sing along.

2:45: No kid is going to appreciate a sit-down game of dance-and-slap, and Pullman joining in is further disconnection from the overall kid power theme of the movie. He's supposed to be their ally, not their equal. It's a mistake to have him be part of this moment.

2:49: "Once a piker" -- No fucking child in the early 90s is going to know that "Piker" is an insult about a "simplistic" person who thinks they have more impact on business than they actually hold.

[finalgirlfae]

Late Nights (Request)

@coiixoxo (sorry it took ages)

Shawn Hunter Smut

takes place in season six, porn w a plot

warnings: smut (obvi), fem!black reader, switch!shawn, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink (if u squint)

...

“shit, ‘m sorry.” shawn muttered, kissing down your neck, sucking on those extra sensitive parts that made you squirm.

“shawnn,” you whined, parting your lips and letting out a moan as he slipped his hands underneath your shirt. you weren’t wearing a bra, so this made it extra easy for him to pinch your nipples, rolling the sensitive buds between his thumb and middle finger.

“let’s get these off..” he said in reference to your clothes. shawn was in your dorm, snuck in through the window late at night, wanting to feel you wrapped around him more than anything. 

he grabbed your hips, digging his fingers under the band of your panties and pulling them down. on instinct you spread your legs, letting out a low whimper when his fingers teased at your clit.

shawn worked your body well. his lips kissed your neck, his left hand played with your boobs as his right toyed with your clit.

“you’re so wet..” he muttered pulling away from you which made you whine. shawn pulled off his shirt, kicking off the rest of his clothes in a rushed manor.

shawn moved against your headboard, taking in the sight of you sitting near the edge of the bed, boobs on display as you crawled over to him.

“fuck, come here.” shawn groaned, pulling you on to his body. one of your hands took place on his shoulder while the other slid into his hair. you looked shawn in the eyes as you placed your entrance on his tip- you both letting out the nastiest moans as you sunk down on to him.

“you’re so good to me.” he moaned out, throwing his head back. you smirked, removing your hand from his hair and on to his throat where the singular gold chain sat.

he looked a bit surprised as your grip on his neck tightened, walls doing the same as you worked hard bouncing in his dick.

you noticed the look on his face and smiled, rolling your hips and tightening your grip a little more.

“shit, if you keep doing that i’m gonna cum.” he slapped your ass making you squirm a bit.

“let’s hope it’s soon.”

shawn raised a brow at this. he flipped you two over, making you scream slightly as you were now on your back and he was on top of you.

“shh, you’re loud.” he muttered, sliding back into you. you tried tour best to keep quiet as he pushed your legs back, pretty much folding you into a breeder press.

the slamming of his hips against yours made your eyes roll to the back of your head. his chain dangles from his next right in front of your face and you felt that knot in your stomach tighten.

“shawnnn.” you whined. he knew you were close and nodded.

“go ahead, cum for me.”

that was all you needed to hear before your legs gave out and you came all over his dick. he followed soon after, cumming inside of you and then watching it spill out.

he rolled off of you, pulling the sheets over you both as you two caught your breath.

“…plan b?”

he nodded. “free at the clinic.”

•••

I LITERALLY FORGOT I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM SO SORRY OH MY GOD😭

happy holidays !

not checked for typos

request are open, i write for:

mcu, stranger things, boy meets world and newsies

[sehunniepotwrites]

if we were a movie | j.jh

for @nctsworld’s first writing challenge

SYNOPSIS. For someone who was always the understudy and never the lead, scoring this role was huge for you. All you had to do was pretend to be in love with your best friend. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the biggest deal because, for the past four years, you had been hiding your feelings for Jung Jaehyun.

If this were a movie, he would be your perfect match and the story would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

GENRE. childhood friends to lovers!au, college!au, drama school!au, slow burn, angst, humor, mutual pining, fluff (loosely based on the Filipino rom-com Must Be Love and If We Were a Movie by Hannah Montana) PAIRING. theatre major!Jaehyun x  theatre major!reader WORD COUNT. 14+ k

WARNINGS. point of view switches from first (”I”) to second (”you”); self-doubt, insecurities, mutual pining, cursing, lots of references and direct quotes from musicals such as Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, Disney’s Newsies, Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Shrek the Musical, and Wicked (edited but i might’ve missed some mistakes; bare with me!)

There are moments where time flows as normal, where people carry on with their days as they usually do. Then, there are moments people experience in slow-motion, where the world just stops spinning and all the background noise just fades away. These are the moments people look forward to. They’re the breathtaking ones, the ones that capture your heart and soul. After those moments, people are never the same. 

The first time I experienced something in slow motion was when I made my stage debut at a small talent show. There was thunderous applause after my performance and while my heart thumped against my chest, the world seemed to come to a stop. That’s when I knew my heart belonged to the stage or rather, the stage belonged to me. 

Some of these slo-mo moments are the ones where people fall in love. 

My father said that’s how he knew my mother was the one for him: he experienced it all at a slowed rate, everything fading into black and she was the only thing he saw. She was his brightest star and he was the one who reached for the sky to bring her down to Earth. 

When I was younger, I always dreamed about my “falling in love” slow-mo moment. I pictured a grandiose event with large actions and sweet words.  For it to actually happen at theatre camp during the initial dress rehearsal for Disney’s Beauty and the Beast J.R.— well, that was far from what I hoped for. 

And yet, it was just as special as I thought it would be. 

I was in my obnoxious fork costume, waiting for my best friend to leave the boy’s dressing room. 

Jung Jaehyun had been my best friend since the beginning, otherwise known as my first year at theatre camp. Only ten years old at the time, we both were cast as two of the three blind mice in Shrek the Musical and had been inseparable ever since. Although we attended different middle schools, our friendship grew from our shared vocal and dance lessons as well as our summers at camp. You know how it is; those who end up in the ensemble together stay together. 

Going over the dance moves in my head, I didn’t hear my friend’s voice calling my name. He gripped my shoulder, the action surprising me to the point where I lost my balance. I yelped and shut my eyes, expecting to fall onto the hard ground but a hand grabbing onto my wrist prevented my doom. With an arm around my waist, I barely missed the ground.

Slowly opening my eyes, I glanced up to see Jung Jaehyun looking down at me with a worried gaze. He was just a sixteen-year-old boy dressed as a spoon and yet, the world around us came to a halt. Gone were the other frantic theatre kids and the backstage messes. The couple playing Belle and the Beast was no longer sitting across from us, running through their lines. No hustle and bustle of the crew and the props masters.

It was just me dressed as a fork, falling down while my spoon for a best friend caught me in his arms. 

“We make quite a pair, don’t we, Forky?” he chuckled lowly, hitting the top of his costume to mine. It was a ridiculous sight— a pair of oversized cutlery in a crowded dressing room.

A burning hot sensation crept its way up to my face as he gently pulled me up. “I guess we do.”

Since then, my life has never been the same. I was in love with my best friend, Jung Jaehyun. I fell for him when the world stopped spinning beneath my feet while his world, unfortunately, kept on turning.

I remember each and every slowed-down moment in life —the good, the bad, and the absolute worst. I never thought a bad slo-mo moment existed, I simply didn’t think it was possible. 

I was young and naive then and I was so incredibly wrong.

The moment that hurt me most took place in my senior year of high school. The final callbacks for our community’s production of Disney’s Newsies were in order. The role of Jack Kelly, the headstrong and flirty newsboy, was easily given to the ever-so-charming Jung Jaehyun. He was not only my best friend at the time but he was the it-boy of our small theatre. People were either in love with him or wanted to be him— his talent matched his insane looks. His kind personality made him all the more lovable.

Jaehyun had his two fatal flaws, though. Everyone knew them but still saw him in such a bright light.

One: the boy was extremely clumsy. Jaehyun was often called “magic hands,” constantly ruining his props. It was a running gag in the theatre but the props committee never minded; one smile was all it took for them to forgive him and his cursed hands. 

That was his first flaw. And his second? Jaehyun fell in love way too easily and way too fast. 

How exactly did I find this out? Well, I was there to witness the scene that lifted his heart to the highest of levels while mine dropped straight to the ground.

I was in the running for the stubbornly intelligent female lead named Katherine Plumber. My opponent was the confident and radiant Son Wendy. She always played the lead in her high school productions but this was a community musical and I was determined to claim that part as my own. 

I went first, entering the audition room with a smile with the script gripped tightly in my palm. Performing alongside my best friend was easy. The romantic scene was a piece of cake, not because the lines were a breeze. That wasn’t it at all. It wasn’t because I memorized the Newsies script as a child either. It was because, at that moment, Jung Jaehyun was in love with me as much as I was in love with him. It was a moment I wanted to cherish forever: the way he looked at me was something I had never experienced before. It was so full of emotion and passion, like he had me within his grasp and never wanted to let me go.

“You got this. I believe in you,” he whispered in my ear, squeezing my hand in support. His breath tickled my skin and sent shivers down my spine. The nerves were back, not because of the audition, but because of him. 

“You’re just saying that because it’s the scene we’re about to act out, Jae,” I hissed. The sheet music for the duet, Something to Believe In, wrinkled in my free palm. 

His warm, comforting hand pressed harder against my own. “No, it’s not that. If you need someone to believe in you, I’m right here. I’ve got you, Forky. Always.”

The director cleared his throat from his seat, his scrutinizing eyes watching us closely as we got into position, just like we rehearsed a thousand times. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I watched as Jaehyun took a deep breath to get into character. He closed his eyes, rolled his broad shoulders back, and then his lids snapped open. His brown-eyed gaze aimed straight at me, with a vulnerable expression taking over his features. He was no longer Jung Jaehyun— he was Jack Kelly, a scared newsboy who was in love with a newspaper company heiress. 

The line came pouring out of his mouth with the utmost sincerity, the confusion and affection seeping through his words, “Just standing here tonight, looking at you, I’m scared tomorrow is gonna come and change everything.”

 Jaehyun took a step forward towards me, an unsure smile curling on his lips. “If there was a way I could just grab hold of something to make time stop just so I could keep looking at you.”

His body stops right in front of mine, keeping a clear distance but enough to feel the passion radiating off of his words and actions. For once in my young life, my best friend looked at me with a different kind of love in his eyes and I returned it, my genuine feelings seeping through my words. 

Biting my lip, I replied coyly, “You snuck up on me, Jack Kelly, I never even saw it coming.”

“For sure?” he stage-whispered. His upstage hand unexpectedly reached up to caress my cheek. The action was unrehearsed, almost catching me off guard. It was a different take on the scene. The characters were supposed to be shy, their thoughts wavering on their own feelings for each other and the impending strike that was to come the day after; yet, Jaehyun played Jack as someone certain of his feelings.

“For sure,” I answered back at the same volume, my hand cupping his own to follow along with his direction. It felt as if he was searching my soul for my thoughts and I could not let him in. The opening bars of the romantic duet echoed throughout the room and after taking a breath, I began to sing. Jaehyun joined in on the second verse and instantly, our voices blended together in a beautiful harmony, one that beat our Newsies karaoke sessions in his car. 

The scene ended as quickly as it began. The director hummed before jotting notes down and whispering to his casting assistants for a few seconds. I thought they were the longest seconds of my life. Jaehyun nodded his head to reassure me. “You did well, Forky.”

“Of course I did, it’s me we’re talking about here,” I nudged him back. “I can do no wrong, Jae!” 

“Thank you,” the director finally spoke, “you may go. Jaehyun, if you could escort her out and fetch Wendy for me?”

“Of course,” your friend nodded. The feeling of his large hand on my back slowly guided me out of the room. The spot he touched me burned but my cheeks were burning even more. Why was it that every little touch drove me to the brink of insanity?

“You’re so going to land this part,” I remember him saying as he squeezed my waist. My heart was beating erratically against my ribcage, the butterflies in my stomach threatening to fly their way up my throat.

“You think so?”

“Oh definitely,” Jaehyun stressed with a wink. 

He said it too soon. 

Because the minute he locked gazes with Son Wendy, I just knew he had found his leading lady. 

“S-Son Wendy?” he stuttered as he caught sight of the pretty girl in the waiting room. Her hair was styled similarly to a young maiden from the turn of the century, perfectly curled and out of her face. 

“Yes?” she smiled back.

It seemed like the words were caught in my best friend’s throat. Sneaking a glance at Jaehyun’s ears, they burned a bright red. “We’re, um, we’re ready for you.”

I watched as Jaehyun nervously offered his arm to her, his eyes never leaving her face. It was like he was her own personal spotlight, the way his eyes shone just for the girl in front of him. The boy was completely enamored and I was instantly in the shadows. The sweet smile that was reserved for me was directed towards another and it sparkled in a way it never did before.

The world around me moved incredibly slow as they passed me by. With everything frozen, all I saw was the gorgeous couple headed to the audition room with hushed exchanges. Jaehyun took his time heading to the private room to spend more time with the girl while Son Wendy steadily made her way into my friend’s fragile heart. My own heart clenched at the sight. It was breaking ever so slowly and I felt every little crack and tear. 

Even with the role of the understudy, it was as if I never even had a chance at winning his heart over. If Wendy wasn’t present for one rehearsal, Jaehyun didn’t even see me— his own best friend since our ensemble days. He was way too deep into his “showmance.” It was like I never even existed. It wasn’t long before he called Wendy his girlfriend and then, I was invisible. Cast aside. Ignored.

Needless to say, my heart broke in slow-motion as Jaehyun’s pounded rapidly for a girl that took two parts I desperately ached for: Katherine Plumber and the girl who held Jaehyun’s heart. 

But this was just the first time his heart was stolen by his opposite. The first of many.

The first two years of university passed me by like a summer breeze. Constantly busy with general education and introductory drama courses, I was constantly flitting around from building to building. My hands were usually occupied by my laptop, a blazing cup of caffeinated tea, and a worn out script while my mind was filled with jumbled up lines and the dramatic cries of an overwhelmed university student. I probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for Jaehyun and Xiao Dejun, another theatre major we had met during orientation, by my side.

Fast forward to my third year and the three of us were headed to the office of the theatre department. It was posting day for the spring musical— the day the cast list was revealed. This year’s musical spectacular was Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. The play itself was a modern classic and it was also my dream come true.

This day, just like any posting day of the drama department, was nerve-racking. Everyone was anxious to find out what parts they were given and how the fairytale would play out. The part of the brave and kind Ella was always on my list of roles I wanted to fill. As much as I thought I did well on my final callback, I didn’t want to set my hopes too high.

“Are you nervous?” Jaehyun asked while draping an arm over my shoulder. He playfully put all his weight onto his right side to throw me off balance. 

“Nervous? Me? Why would I be nervous if I’m like 95% sure  I’m going to get the understudy again?” I chuckled sarcastically. Bitterly. It happened every year, so why get my hopes up now?

“Yeah but—”

“No buts, I’ve accepted the title of the Wonderstudy! I think you should too, Jae,” I slapped his shoulder before quickly slipping out of his hold before linking arms with Dejun. My best friend let out a yelp, almost tripping over his own two feet as we continued down the hallway. “I’m mediocre at best.”

The Wonderstudy: it was the nickname the other students in the department gave me because I was always the understudy. I was never the star of the show. It said that I was good but not good enough. 

Dejun leaned in and whispered, “You do know that you’re more than just that, right? You’re an actor. A phenomenal one. You weren’t accepted to this drama program by just being mediocre at best.”

I ignored my friend’s comment, eyes zoned in at the other end of the building. The crowd of usual theatre students crowded around the bulletin board, curious heads popping up and down trying to take a peek at the list. Some buzzed with excitement, happy they got a major part while others groaned in disappointment. You were most likely going to be with the later group. 

Once the cluster of students caught sight of Jaehyun, they parted like the red sea to let him through. It wasn’t really necessary, though, everyone knew the it-boy of the drama department was cast as the role of the misguided prince, Topher. 

The only question was: who was cast as his princess? Who was this year’s Ella?

I fought my way through the bunch with Dejun following behind me as our best friend was showered with congratulations. Jaehyun was all smiles, dimples prominent as he was lavished by the mass. Dejun made it to the list first. His finger dragged along the thin paper until he found his name. He cheered, pumping his fist up in joy. “I got the part I wanted! I’m Jean-Michel!”

Grinning at my friend, I sincerely congratulated him. He got the second lead: the feisty peasant looking for change. Turning again, his eyes grazed the list until Dejun found my name. His smile dropped ever so slightly and that was when I knew: I was beaten once again. 

“What part did I get?”

“Gabrielle,” he answered. Ah, the outwardly abrasive but quietly empathetic sister. The second lead, love interest of Jean-Michel. At least I was playing Dejun’s opposite. 

I took a step closer, wondering who took the part of the kind princess. Squinting at the small print, my eyes scanned the jumble of words until I saw it.

Ella……………………….Lee Naeun Ella u/s………………….Y/N

I scoffed. Forever the understudy. The Wonderstudy of the Theatre Department indeed.

The first rehearsal, otherwise known as the read-through, took a toll on me. It was usually a two to three hour long session, filled with loud chatter, crazy introductions, and a variety of crazy theatre games to break the ice. When the niceties ended, everyone took their seats in their plastic chairs that were arranged in a huge circle. Bae Joohyun, the head stage manager began reading the stage directions aloud as the table read began. The production’s director, Professor O’Hare, sat alongside Joohyun, jotting down notes and giving out commentary when needed. 

Amongst the reading of lines were tiny whispers, the sound of highlighters and pencils marking the paper, and the simultaneous turning of pages. The music director, Professor Lau sat at the piano bench and sight-read the music to give the cast a taste of the songs. Being the first rehearsal, the few who knew of the songs sang along to the accompaniment with joyous smiles, myself and Dejun included.

When Professor Lau played the first romantic duet between the leads, all heads turned to Jaehyun and Naeun who sat side-by-side. With it being their first time together, the performance was far from perfect but it was still something. His lower tone blended nicely with her softer voice and the shy glances they exchanged made their duet quite a sight. 

As Jaehyun and Naeun read the last lines for Act One, I noticed the way Jaehyun’s gaze kept flittering back to Naeun’s pretty face. The girl was focused on her lines, head down and hair blocking her gorgeous features, but he still kept looking at her and only her. I could imagine how the scene was playing out in his head, the world slowing down until Naeun was the only one moving.  He was infatuated. Twitterpated. 

And it hurt. It hurt more than reading the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet or listening to Elphaba’s desperate cry she lets out when she loses Fiyero. Call me dramatic but that was how I felt. 

It wasn’t like I tried getting over him. It wasn’t like I tried dating other people before; I had many, many times but my mind always drifted back to my best friend. He was the boy with the richest brown eyes, the perfectly dimpled smile, and the lowest laugh that set my heart aflame. Without even knowing it, Jaehyun had this incredible hold on my broken heart and he would not let me out of his grip. 

The green-eyed monster inside me resurfaced and I hated it. I absolutely hated it— why was I so pathetically in love with my best friend? 

 “Here we go again,” I said before dropping my head onto the table. 

“You say that every time and you keep running back to him at the end of the day,” Dejun whispered before looking back down at his script. His hand continued to jet across the page, his highlighter marking his many lines. 

Rolling up the script in my hand, I whacked his side. The action caused his hand to jerk the bright marker in another direction, striking a distorted line on his page. “Look what you did, twerp!” he hissed.

“Your fault, Eyebrows!”

“Stop calling me that, you fork!”

“Hey, only I can call her fork!” Jaehyun appeared out of nowhere, plopping alongside me. His voice snapped us out of our little argument, making us realize that the director called for a fifteen. 

“That’s only because you’re a dumb spoon,” I stuck my tongue out at him. Jaehyun pretended to reach for it and I blew a raspberry at him to retaliate. 

“You two idiots are my favorite cutlery set,” Dejun shook his head with a laugh. He was probably wondering why he stuck around us the majority of the time. 

“Let off it, Dejun,” Jaehyun said with the roll of his brown orbs. 

“Only if you let me be the knife to your set.”

“As if, dumbass,” I countered with a laugh. 

“Okay but you guys, can we stop fighting for a sec and talk about how I got her number?” Jaehyun beamed, throwing his arms over both our shoulders. He pulled us closer to his body and the faint smell of his musky cologne hit my nose. I held back a sigh as it filled my senses. Oh, to be drowned in his scent. 

“I got Naeun’s number!” he repeated excitedly, his strong arms shaking us. I held back my abrupt want to push him off. I wasn’t in a celebrating mood. My heart was too broken to care.

“Of course you did, when do you not get a girl’s number?” I answered a bit too bitterly. Raising a brow at him, I added, “Are we supposed to be surprised?”

“Listen,” Jaehyun countered, pulling back from me. “I don’t like that attitude, Forky.”

I scoffed, “Never stopped you from being my friend before, Jae.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer; he was too busy clutching his phone. His pretty brown eyes were fixed on Naeun’s contact page like it was the world’s greatest treasure. His eyes were sparkling in admiration before his gaze turned to the girl across the room. The look my best friend wore on his face was soft, the smile on his lips light. “I think she could be the one.”

Some thought him to be a player but I never thought of him that way. He might have had the looks of a heartbreaker but he had the purest heart of gold. The boy with the dimpled smile, porcelain skin, and cheeks as red as roses was a hopeless romantic to his very core. He was simply looking for his other half. 

“I think she could be the one.” His words repeated in my head, his voice pestering me. My heart lurched at them despite hearing them each semester. 

Jaehyun said this every year, with every girl. He said this when he crushed on Son Wendy, Kim Chungha, and so many more. His infatuations and crushes ended just as easily as they started. The boy was more than disappointed when the initial spark with each girl ended after a show’s run ended. When the musical closed, so did his feelings for each opposite. 

I never got stage fright; I was usually the one who said what was on her mind without a moment’s hesitation. So why was I hesitating to tell him my feelings?

Why was I hesitating to say that the one Jaehyun could be looking for was standing right next to him?

Just another rehearsal at the auditorium. 

Just another day watching my best friend fall for his leading lady.

Jaehyun and Naeun were standing in the middle of the stage, the ensemble surrounding them. He stood behind her, his hands gently placed on her waist while she leaned back into his touch. Naeun was wearing a fluffy tulle skirt, a mock-up of her ballgown. Park Sooyoung, the resident fashion major and lead costume designer, pushed her to wear it so she could get used to the estimated size of her dress. Even in a mere tank top and tulle skirt, Lee Naeun looked like a princess.

Professor Kwon, the choreographer of the production, stood at the end with a watchful eye. She counted them off, walking them through the routine while the rest of us practiced our steps off to the sidelines. 

Once the two main characters got the hang of their steps, Professor Kwon motioned for Professor Lau to play the songs from the beginning. As much as I tried to focus on my own dance moves, my mind kept wandering back to Jaehyun. 

Imagining him under the spotlight in a perfectly tailored suit, a crown sitting on his head, extending his arm out not to Naeun but to me. It was one of those movie moments where the characters and the audience watching fell in love. 

If life was like a movie, things would be so much easier. 

So lost in my thoughts, I missed a count and stepped on my partner’s foot. Muttering a quiet sorry to him, we continued on with the routine. As my partner swirled me around the dance floor, I drifted back into my daydream.

My utterly impossible daydream where I was the girl Jung Jaehyun was infatuated with. Although this play talked about impossible things happening everyday, I couldn’t imagine this ever happening. 

The terrible thing about being a theatre major in university was being a theatre major with midterms. Not only did I have to deal with hours of my back hunched over a desk and scattered study materials, I had to spend half of my days in the school’s theatre rehearsing. 

If I was not in class scribbling down last minute notes in notebooks,  I was learning dance routines or running lines on and off stage alongside Dejun. The days were long and the nights were even longer. Sometimes, the cast fell asleep in the seats of the auditorium while rehearsals were going on. We were all losing sleep. Some of us were losing our sanity but hey, welcome to the theatre. 

My schedule was filled to the brim and I wasn’t even the main character of the show. On top of that, I had to memorize the part of Ella. Not that it was really needed in the first place. 

No one ever stepped down from a lead role while I was their backup. It just didn’t happen.

Despite the hectic lives of belonging to the theatre department, the musical was two months into production and everything was running smoothly. With a month and a left until opening night, everyone was off-book and the initial stage blocking was done. The costuming and makeup committee were finishing up their mock-up designs and the student orchestra sounded divine. 

I saw more of Dejun than Jaehyun lately, my best friend being preoccupied with his new love interest before, during, and after rehearsals. I was cast aside once again.

Was it something out of the ordinary? No.

Did it still hurt? Yes.

Did I do anything about it? Absolutely not. I didn’t want to ruin his happiness. I rather suffer than see him as nothing but joyous, even if the happiness was temporary. The grin he wore when he was in love was too beautiful to rip away. Jaehyun shined like the light from the sun. I could never bring myself to do it. 

It was week eight of rehearsals when I stepped out of my last midterm, my head absolutely empty after reading small text for over an hour. Reaching into my backpack’s front pocket, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly turned it on. My screen was flooded with missed calls and texts from Professor O’Hare, Joohyun, Jaehyun, and Dejun, the notification numbers reaching over a hundred total. 

Something must have happened. Talk about a theatre emergency. Knowing our kind, they were probably being overdramatic. 

Just as I was about to unlock my phone, a video call went through. It was Dejun. Rolling my eyes, I slid my finger across the screen to answer it. “Jeez, I know you love me but give a girl a break, Eyebrows!”

“God, you’re so conceited sometimes. Why didn’t you answer my calls?!” He shouted, face close to the phone. I winced at the volume, immediately lowering the level as I slipped on my wireless earbuds. “There are important matters to discuss here!”

“What happened this time? Did someone say Macbeth in the theatre again? You know I don’t believe in that shit,” I said sarcastically.

“Oh my god. This is not the time for jokes! Everyone’s been trying to reach you!” Xiaojun yelled once more. “Where are you?!”

“I just got out of my musical history midterm in Maple Hall. Heading to the theatre right now. Why?” I never received an answer; Dejun hung up the call. Giving my phone a weird look, I shoved it in my pocket before continuing on my way. A light push on my back prevented me from going too far. 

“Twerp!” Xiao Dejun’s voice came from behind me, yanking me by the straps of my backpack. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. “Oh my god, we’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said in between heavy breaths. 

Crossing my arms, I cocked a brow at him. “Why’s that?”

Dejun placed a hand on my shoulder for support. The words came flying out of his mouth, I almost couldn’t catch what he was saying. So much for being a theatre major. 

“Speak clearly, Dejun. Enunciate, articulate, exaggerate, remember? We are thespians and thespians do not mumble!”

The exhausted boy ignored my theatricals. “Naeun didn’t land a switch leap right and she rolled her ankle during advanced ballet. She’s going to be out for at least three to four weeks,” my friend replied breathily, his words a lot clearer than before.

The news shocked me to the core, my feet suddenly planted to the ground. It sounded like he said Naeun was out of commission. “What?” 

“She’s out for three to four weeks! I mean sucks for her, I wish her a speedy recovery but do you know what this means?”

The lack of response from me urged him to continue, “Sweetheart, she’s out. You’re in!”

Oh shit. I was in.

The part I had always dreamed of was mine. The lead role was finally mine.

I was now Ella and Jung Jaehyun was my Prince Topher.

Having an understudy step up to their role halfway through production was always something to get used to. It was a setback, a minor one, but still a setback. Just as Jaehyun finally settled into his role and built an unshakeable bond with Lee Naeun as his opposite, the accident happened. His potential girlfriend was now out of the show and off her feet in order to push for a speedy recovery.

The lovesick boy couldn’t even be there for her because his rehearsal times increased in order to get his best friend adjusted to your new role. There he was, leaning against the piano while waiting for you to arrive.

Professor Lau sat at the bench, flipping through his sheet music until he found the song he was looking for. 

The door slammed open and you stumbled in. “Am I late? I’m sorry, I just heard the news.”

“No, not at all. You’re right on time,” the professor smiled at you. “The situation’s weird, I know but congratulations on getting Ella.”

“Thanks, Professor. That means a lot,” you grinned back. 

Dropping your bag by the piano, you swiftly pulled out the script. You glanced at Jaehyun’s opened book for the page number before hastily flipping through the pages. Jaehyun nudged your side. “Hey, Forky.”

“Hey yourself,” you elbowed him back, biting your bottom lip.

“Congrats, bubs. You did it,” he pulled you into a side hug before ruffling your hair with pride. You had finally gotten a part you wanted. It was your time to shine. As your best friend for many years, Jaehyun had been waiting for the day you could show the crowds your full potential.  

“Did I really do it or did your girlfriend just get injured? How is she, by the way?” 

As much as you tried to play the overdramatic, conceited girl, you never believed in yourself but Jaehyun always did. You deserve the spotlight; your talent was out of this world and the masses were finally granted a chance to see you for what you were— a star.

“You did this. You were made for this part as much as she was,” Jaehyun reassured his best friend with a smile. He tapped your nose. “And she’s not my girlfriend but she’s doing alright. Just in a little bit of pain. I’m going to see her after we finish.”

“Give her some well wishes for me,” you answered. Jaehyun didn’t notice your smile dropping into a small frown.

“You ready to act like you’re in love with me?”

“I was born ready, you doof.” There was something weird in your voice when those words left your lips but Jaehyun didn’t have time to process it.

Professor Lau guided the students through a series of warm-ups before asking, “Shall we start with Do I Love You Because You’re Beautiful today? We’ll do a couple of run-throughs before Jaehyun teaches you the blocking.” His fingers played the beginning notes of the song, the light melody drifting to their ears. 

Already off book at this point, Jaehyun closed his eyes and began to sing.

Do I love you because you’re beautiful? Or are you beautiful because I love you?

Am I making believe I see in you A girl too lovely to be really true?

Do I want you because you’re wonderful? Or are you wonderful because I want you?

Are you the sweet invention of a lover’s dream? Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?

When his eyes fluttered open, Jaehyun found himself facing you with a script in hand. Your face wore the softest look as you stared back at him. His breath almost caught in his throat at the gentle smile you wore. You played the part differently from Naeun and it was a refreshing sight to behold. You were playing a confused peasant but your eyes still sparkled with the gleam of a thousand suns. 

There was a flush of heat that started from his cheeks and extended to his reddening ears. His heart was doing its best to break out of his ribcage and the star of the show wasn’t sure if his chest could keep it in for very much longer.

When singing with him, Naeun was a pretty princess.

But when he sang with you, the girl in front of him? Jaehyun thought you were absolutely breathtaking.

Two hours later, we were finally free of rehearsals. My first rehearsal as Ella. My throat was a bit parched from all the singing and projecting I was doing but I felt lighter than air. Singing with Jaehyun made me feel lighter than air. I was weightless, nothing could hold me down.

“Forky, you’re really good,” he said to me as we walked to our cars. I tried to fight the sudden heat making its way to my face. Lately, compliments from him were hard to come by.

 It was already late when O’Hare and Lau finally let us out, the moon sitting high in the sky. The night breeze crept its way into my thin jacket, causing me to hug myself to retain some warmth. Noticing my struggle with the cold, Jaehyun quickly draped his jacket over my shoulders. I was immediately hit with his familiar scent, it was almost overwhelming. I should be used to this, his action of sharing his clothes with me was nothing new but I was weak. It affected me every single time. I guess I was that head over heels for him. 

Head over glass heels, one could even say.

“You’ve seen me in action before and I mean, I was chosen to be the understudy for a reason,” I gave him a shrug. 

“Yeah but I’ve never seen you act and sing like that. Just...wow.” Stealing a glance at him, Jaehyun almost looked enamored with me. He was giving me a look that was usually reserved for someone else. I felt my heartbeat pick up in my chest and flutters in my stomach.

“Stop that,” I blushed, pinching his skin through the thin material of his long-sleeved shirt. A satisfying buzz ran through my body. Was he really looking at me like that? I was probably reading too much into it.

“No, but it seemed so real. Like you weren’t pretending.”

“That’s because I wasn’t,” I whispered under my breath as we arrived at our cars. 

“Hmm, you say something?” Jaehyun asked, leaning closer to hear me. 

Shaking my feelings away, I ignored the dull ache in my chest and acted through the tears I was desperately holding in. I wrinkled my nose at him playfully, secretly pushing the pain down my throat. “You really don’t listen to a word I say, do you, Jae? I said, I’ll see you later.”

“See ya, Forky! Get home safely!”

Scoffing to myself, I realized how much of a great actor I was. I deserved an Oscar or a Tony for the scenes I played out, the ones where I pretended to be okay when I was far from it. 

What award do you ask? Best Actress in a Supporting Role— the best friend to Jung Jaehyun but never the love of his life.

Wardrobe fittings for productions were always an exciting day for the whole cast and crew. It was one step closer to putting on a show. Jaehyun was already dressed in one of his many costumes, a white suit with golden trimmings. It fit him for the most part, only tiny adjustments were needed. Members of the wardrobe department quickly pinned his neatly pressed jacket before taking it off his hands. Since he was the main character, Jaehyun was one of the first ones done. He was simply waiting for you to come out in your first dress— the white gown for the ball scene in Act One.

When you finally did all those minutes ago, Jaehyun swore his heart stopped. 

Ten minutes ago, Jaehyun saw his best friend walk through the curtains. Your face was bare, hair still in that lazy style you always sported but your clothes. The comfy clothing you usually rehearsed in was gone and replaced by a beautiful ball gown. Despite the pins that scattered throughout the material to fit your form, it still appeared majestic. There you were, standing before him and the rest of the cast, and you were the loveliest you had ever been.

Ten minutes ago, you walked in and his head was reeling. Time slowed down as you tentatively made your way towards him. You did not meet his eyes but Jaehyun was dying to catch your gaze. He never wanted to let you out of his sight. The picture of his best friend in white was something he wanted to treasure and suddenly, the slowness around him stopped. The cast’s cheers and squeals disappeared. There was only you in that beautiful ball gown. 

Was this the slow-motion moment you always talked about? The one you always dreamed about experiencing? Jaehyun could see why people thought it to be magic. It was almost like a movie, movie magic if you will. 

Another look at you and then Jaehyun was in the future, watching you make her way down the aisle. A thin veil covered your face and he was so tempted to push it away from concealing your dazzling smile. His heart was fighting its way out of his chest, wanting to head down the path straight to you. How he wanted to reach out and touch you, cradle you in his arms. 

You were truly an angel in white. A princess. A queen.

The mere sight of you took him to the skies, the one place he was sure you were from. Although Jaehyun would never admit it, he always thought you to be beautiful. Throughout the many years of being best friends, he would find his gaze subconsciously drifting to you. He would rip it away before you would ever notice him doing so, knowing you would tease the hell out of him for it— it was his own little secret tucked away into the corners of his beating heart. 

“How do I look?” Your question snapped him out of his daydream and back to reality. Back down to earth. 

“Sorry, what did you say?” 

“Oh my god, you stupid spoon! I said, how do I look?”

“Lovely,” he answered sincerely, his brown eyes digging into your own. “You look absolutely lovely.”

Ten minutes ago, you simply murmured a question while Jung Jaehyun came to a realization. The realization that he might’ve fallen for you: his Forky, his best friend.

The loveliest girl he had ever seen.

With Cinderella’s opening night being only a few weeks out, you and Jaehyun decided to fit in extra time together to run lines and songs outside of scheduled rehearsals. That was the plan for every weekend and that particular Saturday was no exception to this plan. When his doorbell rang frantically, Jaehyun groaned loudly before getting up to answer the door. Did you always have to be so obnoxious?

Just as the door swung open, your loud voice boomed into his apartment, “‘Sup, ho! Ready to rehearse the hell out of this show or what?”

He stepped aside to let you in and you immediately made yourself comfortable in his humble abode. Jaehyun almost laughed as he watched you. There was a particular routine you stuck to when visiting his place. First, you would take off your shoes, slip on your personal pair of slippers you left at his house, drop your bag on the kitchen counter, and then open his fridge to raid his food supply.

Precisely as Jaehyun predicted, you waddled to the fridge in your memory-foam duck slippers and stole one of his yakults. He loved how comfortable you were in his home. It was truly a heart-warming sight.  The act itself was extremely domestic and he quite liked the domesticity when it was with you. That flash of you in a wedding gown came back to him and he blushed at the thought. The idea of spending a future together was flooding his brain recently and he didn’t know what to do. 

You weren’t the one he liked. Naeun was but why were you the only person on his mind? Was it wrong to have you in his mind? Naeun wasn’t his girlfriend— they were still getting to know each other. His time with her decreased over time since you had stepped into the role of Ella. He was very fond of you. He always had been. There was this little piece of his heart that was reserved for you but was it because you were his best friend or was it more?

Jaehyun quickly snapped himself out of it. 

“First of all, I’m not a ho,” he said before grabbing a yakult of his own. He poked the straw through the foil a bit too harshly, the liquid splashing over the top. Damn his strength— now half of his drink was gone. “Second, stop slut-shaming me for my dating choices. It’s 2021. If I wanted to be a ho, I could be a ho.”

You rolled your eyes as you took a sip of your drink. “God, I hate you sometimes.”

“You need to stop lying to yourself, I know you’re hopelessly in love with me,” Jaehyun said, pointing his drink towards you. He caught you rolling your eyes at his answer.

“Oh, you’re absolutely right. I am irrevocably in love with you, Jung Jaehyun,” you said sarcastically, dramatically batting your eyelashes his way. Your confession, despite being a sarcastic statement, left his heart racing against time. 

“Alexa, play Hopelessly Devoted to You!” you yelled ironically. 

“Now playing Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John,” an electronic voice boomed across his living room before the opening notes of the ballad began to play. 

“Shit! I forgot you actually had an Echo,” you jumped, not expecting that at all. Jaehyun chuckled at your reaction, loving how easily you scare. He always thought it was one of your cuter traits. 

“Alexa, stop!” he called. 

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. He dragged his feet to his bedroom, knowing you would follow without a word. “I can’t rehearse today, I have to write this damned analysis paper for a class. It’s due in two days.”

“I’m sorry, is that paper more important than your best friend in the entire world?” you pushed from behind him.

“Yes,” he deadpanned, taking a seat at his desk. Jaehyun’s study area was an absolute mess. His notebooks were scattered around the floor, textbooks opened to random pages, and his laptop opened to a google document.  

“That’s a motherfucking lie and you know it.”

“I really can’t rehearse now, Forky,” he sighed.

He glared at you as you theatrically fell onto his bed. The notes spread out on his bed flying to the floor. “Oh, woe is me! Jung Jaehyun cannot give me the time of day to rehearse. What am I to do?”

“Why are you like this?” 

“I’m a theatre student, I’m wired to be this obnoxious,” you said with a straight face. 

He stared at you through narrowed eyes. “I really hate you right now.”

“I know,” you countered with a flat tone. “But in all seriousness, Jaehyun. I won’t take too much of your time. I just wanted to practice our duets a couple of times and then I’ll be out of your hair. Plus, you look like you need a break.”

One look at you and he was a goner. How could he ever say no to his best friend?

“Ugh, fine.”

“Ha, I knew you would cave.”

“Shut up.”

The next hour with you was spent rehearsing the numbers. During the last run-through, Jaehyun suggested going over the blocking and putting their all in it. To act like it was opening night. You swiftly agreed and he played the music from the top.

Jaehyun led you around his room, spinning you across the floor as you sang. The smile on your face was so lovely, he could not take his eyes off your lips. His eyes fluttered to a close and he imagined you in your full costume, downed in your gown, as dainty as a daisy and as graceful as a bird. The thought of you dressed like a princess drove him crazy.

He never thought of Naeun this way. This was different. You were different but why?

Jaehyun opened his eyes to see you smiling so gracefully at him as the song was coming to an end. Just as planned in the show, your gaze flitted to his lips. You leaned closer and he followed, dipping his head to meet you halfway. His heart was skipping to its own beat as he inched down. Your soft lips brushed against his oh-so-gently as he held you in his arms but before the boy could press back, the door to his room swung open.

You broke away from him, shocked at the sudden arrival to see your other friend and Jaehyun’s roommate, Dejun. “Oops, was I interrupting something?” 

“I, uh, I gotta go.” Before you could even stop him, Jaehyun grabbed his wallet and phone off his desk and ran out his room. 

Confusion clouded his senses. Why did he feel empty after you pulled away? Why did he want to kiss you so badly? It was just a stage kiss.

Was it not?

Jaehyun’s door slammed shut behind him, leaving me and Dejun in his room. It wasn’t long before we heard the front door close, too. “Well, that was something,” Dejun said after his roommate shuffled out of the apartment.

“Shut up, Xiao Dejun,” I replied, smacking his arm. 

My friend lifted his arms up in defense before he gave me a pointed stare. “I’m just saying, the two of you looked really into it. It looked great, to be honest with you. No notes to give here— I’m sure O’Hare and Lau would say the same.”

“It’s just acting,” I tried to shrug it off. 

“Stop lying to yourself.”

“I’m not!”

“Bulltshit. I saw the way he looked at you— that’s not acting, twerp,” Dejun declared, his voice dropping. His voice never dipped in tone unless he was serious and in that moment, he was dead serious. My friend sounded like a frustrated tutor deliberately explaining a concept for the fifth time and I was the stubborn student who just didn’t understand.

“Yes, yes it is!”

“No, it’s not because that’s how he always looked at you!” 

“Lies!” I yelled accusingly, “We got Liza Minnelli over here!” 

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes! Why won’t you confess? Cat got your tongue? Nothing’s really stopped your sharp tongue before,” Dejun groaned at my stubbornness. He slapped a hand onto my shoulder. I tried to shrug him off but his grip was too strong. Maybe it was him trying to help me get a grip. Who knew? I honestly didn’t. 

“It’s not like I haven’t tried, you know?” An exasperated answer left my lips. I was tired. So ridiculously tired of dealing with these feelings for my best friend. It had been four years since I fell for him. Four years of trying to see other people, four years of trying to confess, and four long years of failing every time.  “I just freeze up like a deer in headlights or like you did when you performed that one monologue sophomore year in voice and movement class. Remember that, Jun?”

I felt his sharp glare burning a hole in my back. “You promised to never talk about that moment, you traitor,” he hissed, his hand squeezing the hell out of my shoulder. 

“Okay yeah but you get the point, right?” My nails dug into his skin, leaving little indents onto his hand. He yelped, finally jerking his hand back to examine it. Shaking my head, I added, “Plus, he’s my best friend. I just can’t do it!”

“So, what you’re saying is that you choose friendship over the possibility of him loving you?” 

“It’s just...I don’t know—” I started, shifting my body to face him, “—choosing friendship means that I’ll only lose love. But if I chose to confess and put my feelings out there, I could lose him as a potential lover and my best friend. I’m not prepared for that. I don’t think I ever will be.”

And there it was again. The self-doubt hit me, imposter syndrome resurfacing at an all time high, bringing me to the lowest of lows. 

The feeling of being a fraud, of being not good enough. 

For Jaehyun. For any love interest for that matter. For the role of Ella. For taking my place under the spotlight. 

“Dejun?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I—am I good enough?”

“For?”

“I—I don’t know—” I stuttered as my mind was consumed by my own crippling thoughts. I tried to stay strong but the crack in my voice gave me away, “—for anything? Everything?” 

“Oh, twerp,” Dejun said in that particular voice and then that was when the floodgates opened. The tears just came pouring down with no sign of stopping. My friend gently pulled me into his comforting arms. They were snug and I felt safe but not as safe as I did in Jaehyun’s hold.

“You, my darling, are definitely good enough. Don’t let your thoughts tell you otherwise.” Although his voice was comforting, it did not help the unhinged thoughts running through my brain. 

“Then, why does it always hurt when I don’t get the role of the leading lady? Of his leading lady? I always get so far and then, at the end of the day, I’m just not what they’re looking for. What he’s looking for.” Pining for something so unimaginable was too taxing. Having the lead role in a play and having Jung Jaehyun wear his heart on his sleeve just for me. 

“Sometimes, the roles aren’t made for you and that’s okay.”

“But what about this one?”

“This one, twerp, this one is a little different.” 

“And why’s that?”

“Because there is music in you; it goes hand in hand with Jaehyun, like a melody to his harmony. You are his Ella and he’s your Topher,” Dejun urged. It was like he was begging me to not give up hope. 

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m really not. You just gotta do what the theatre gods tell us to do: just trust the process.” 

How could I trust the process when all it did was hurt me by allowing me to have a glimpse of a love and a life that would never be mine? 

Opening night finally arrived. Everyone was called to the theatre for a full run through in the afternoon: the final dress rehearsal hours before the doors opened and the curtains were drawn. I had gotten there earlier to soak in the calmness of the empty auditorium before the chaos began.

I heard heavy footsteps come from behind me. Even without turning around, I knew it to be Jaehyun. The boy took a seat next to me on the wooden prop walls that were locked into the ground. If the stage managers and props committee saw us, they would’ve definitely ripped our heads off but they weren’t— it was just us.  

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear Ella?”

“Topher,” I answered, playing along with his game. “Lovely to see you here bright at early.”

“I knew you would be here and I wanted to be here with you,” he said, pulling me into a side hug. Jaehyun knew me well but did he know me well enough? “Spill it, Forky. What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes I still doubt myself,” I said a little too fast. A loud sigh followed my reveal. The crippling doubt was always there, haunting me. Let me tell you, it was not the best thing in the world to have during an opening for a new production. 

“Oh yeah?” Jaehyun asked, pushing me to continue. I felt the soft brush of his palm against my hand. His fingers grabbed hold of my wrist before fighting their way to tangle with my own fingers. The sensation tickled, taking me away from my thoughts for a fraction of a second. I played with his fingers, watching the way his pinkish hand fit with mine. 

I refused to look at him; I was too afraid of breaking down.“Doubting myself, my abilities. Always the understudy, never the star, remember?”

Jaehyun hummed. He rested his chin on my shoulder. “Did something change?”

“Yeah, I finally realized that maybe it wasn’t that I wasn’t right for the part; the part wasn’t right for me,” I laughed a bit dryly. “Does that make any sense?” 

“Weirdly, yes,” he replied, his breath blowing against my neck. I tried to ignore the tickling sensation and the way it made me feel. 

“But this is different— I feel like I was made to play Ella. Made to play her even though I got the part in this odd, unconventional way,” I turned my head to the side to avoid eye contact. “The girl who sees the good in everything despite the hardships and suffering she went through.”

“Without a doubt, I believe that you belong on stage with me,” Jaehyun answered sincerely, “and I’m glad we have the chance to finally play opposites.” 

He squeezed my smaller palm in support. I appreciated the reassurance; the action slightly calmed me down before she took the next step. Possibly the biggest step of my entire life. “There’s something else I realized, too.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Jaehyun asked softly. 

Taking a deep breath, I said, “I realized that I could be right for you.” 

It took him a minute, a long solid minute before Jaehyun could bring himself to respond to my confession. I wondered what he was thinking at that moment, when those words left my mouth. “Right for me?” came his tentative reply. A quick glimpse at his ears and I saw the burst of red. He was caught off guard, embarrassed. 

“Yeah,” I said almost shamefully. Was I ashamed of my feelings? I never was ashamed before. Maybe it was because Jaehyun finally saw me for who I truly was— his highly dramatic best friend that was head over glass heels for him. 

“How long— how long have you felt this way?” The red of his ears seeped to his rosy cheeks. 

“Ever since we were a dumb pair of utensils,” I replied sincerely, my voice wavering at the truth, “a set of ridiculous tableware.”

There was an awkward chuckle that left his drying lips. I heard him click his tongue, a habit he did when Jaehyun never knew what to say. It seemed like I rendered him speechless. “Since we were sixteen? That long and you didn’t say anything?”

“You’re really asking me that?”

“Yes, I really am!”

“Jaehyun, c’mon. Use your brain! How was I supposed to? You’re my best friend and when you’re not my best friend, you’re out there chasing other girls,” I stopped to lick my drying lips. There was another inkling of silence and I gulped at how tense the atmosphere was. “And I thought maybe once, just once, you would chase after me, too.” 

I almost laughed; my greatest desire was finally out in the world and it was greeted by silence. 

“But what if I’m wrong for you?” 

And there it was. The rejection I was preparing for. Giving him a pained smile that failed to meet my ears, I said, “Then that’s life, I guess.”

“You guess?” 

“Well, I can’t make you act like you’re in love with me, can I?” I snapped, my pain taking the best of me. It clouded my brain, blocking off all rational thoughts out of my head. “This isn’t a play or a movie with a script, Jaehyun. This is real fucking life.” 

Hurt. I was being overwhelmed with a wave of hurt and anguish. My body was trembling as much as my eyes were. I felt them growing wet and I shut them closed. My hands curled into fists, nails digging into my skin. It stung but not as much as being rejected by the one you loved most. The lead of the movie in your mind. 

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun tried to stop me from getting off the stage. I pulled away from him, quickly snatching my belongings before heading to the nearest exit. Turning back around before I left the empty auditorium, I experienced another moment in slow-motion. 

There Jaehyun was in all his glory— denim jacket slipping over his broad shoulders, dark brown hair sticking up in all directions and a confused look on his face. He looked like a mess under the spotlight of my mind but nevertheless, he was my mess of a best friend.

He was my mess of a best friend and that was all he was going to be. That fact hurt more than being the forever understudy. 

Why couldn’t I fast forward this portion of my life? Why must I suffer this much?

Why couldn’t I escape the role of being second best?

If only my life was a movie, then maybe I wouldn’t be everyone’s second choice. His second choice.

If we were in a movie, Jung Jaehyun would be my best friend and my perfect match. Our story would be the typical friends-to-lovers saga that every girl dreams of. It would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. 

Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

After that confrontation, you and Jaehyun were off and not off the charts— just off. The directors noticed it. The stage hands noticed. The cast noticed it. The final run-through before the curtains opened just finished and it was an absolute disaster because of the way you acted with Jaehyun. Every time he opened up his body to you, the response you gave him was closed off. Cold. 

To the rest of the cast and crew, the prince and princess didn’t seem very much in love that day— they didn’t even seem friendly. You and Jaehyun seemed like two strangers trying to work their way across a stage. There was no connection. There was nothing else there. 

Now, if only you would let Jaehyun talk to you, maybe something would change but you didn’t. You ran away every chance you could. It was like Cinderella, but you didn’t leave a glass slipper behind. You didn’t leave anything behind. 

Less than an hour before showtime and he couldn’t even talk to you. Let alone look at you. He sighed into his hand, palms applying pressure to his eyes. Jaehyun cursed under his breath, forgetting that he had a heavy amount of stage makeup on his face. Looking into the mirror, he saw his makeup was still intact. Thank the theatre gods for the Ben Nye Final Seal Setter. It seemed like that it was the only thing set in stone at that moment. 

The door to Jaehyun’s dressing room slammed open and Dejun waltzed in, fully dressed in his costume.“Dude, what was up with you and the twerp during that dress rehearsal? You were so off!”

He received no reply, Jaehyun was too zoned out to hear. Dejun hopped onto the counter of Jaehyun’s dresser. Usually, the action would shock the main lead but Jaehyun was too lost in thought.“Well, you know what they say about a bad dress rehearsal. That means we’ll have a good opening night,” Dejun said, eyeing his friend for his lack of response.

Finally looking away from his reflection, Jaehyun glanced up at Dejun with a look of disbelief. “She likes me?”

His friend jumped off the counter with widened eyes.“Oh my god, did she finally confess? Was that why you were acting weird?”

“Dejun, you knew?” Jaehyun slammed his palms on his dresser. The makeup products on the tabletop shook, leaving the other guy to wince at the show of strength. 

“Honestly for being the ace of the theatre department, you sure are dumb,” Dejun replied a bit too casually as he leaned into the mirror to examine his appearance. He clicked his tongue upon realizing his cheeks didn’t have enough color. The stage lights would wash him out. The boy reached for Jaehyun’s pink blush and a clean wedge before applying it onto the apples of his cheeks.

“What should I do?”

“Well, Jaehyun, what do you want to do?” Dejun asked, turning side to side to double-check his reflection. 

“I don’t know that’s why I’m asking you!” Jaehyun fired back with vigor, hating how casual his best friend was acting. He was having a before-show crisis and his best friend was calmly stealing his bottle of Ben Nye, spraying his beautifully sculpted face with the setting spray.

“Well, do you like her more than a friend? And what about Naeun?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know! But—”

“But?” His friend asked before hopping onto the countertop. The actor raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows at his friend and Jaehyun had the sudden urge to pluck the beauties they were until Dejun had no eyebrow hair left. When Jaehyun didn’t reply, Dejun repeated his question.

Dropping his head in his hands, Jaehyun hesitantly replied, “There was this moment when I saw her and it was like that thing she always said? The slo-mo thing?”

Dejun’s head perked up. “You saw her in slow motion?” 

“Yeah, it was like time stopped. All I saw was her and then…” Jaehyun thought back to seeing you in a wedding dress. He changed his mind; he didn’t want to talk about his feelings. All he wanted to do was make sure opening night ran as smoothly as possible. Grabbing his white suit jacket for the top of Act One, the boy stood up in an attempt to escape his friend’s sudden peak in curiosity. “Never mind, this is ridiculous. I gotta go, Dejun.” 

“No, you’re not going anywhere until you actually confront your damn feelings,” Dejun said, shoving his friend back in his chair. “Do you like Naeun?”

There was a pause before he answered truthfully: “Yes.”

“Okay, and are your feelings for Naeun stronger than what you have for your best friend?” 

“No,” Jaehyun released another sigh as he leaned back in his chair. A hand reached up to brush through his hair before he remembered that it was gelled back in place. He dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck, not wanting to mess with his looks before places. “I was infatuated with Naeun but with her, god, she’s something else and it took me this long to realize it.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Dejun questioned, squeezing his friend’s shoulders a bit too tightly. Jaehyun thought his friend was testing him and for a good reason. If he was in Dejun’s position, Jaehyun would’ve grilled his friend, too. “How do I know you’re actually in love with her? Yes, you’re my roommate and best friend but she’s my best friend, too. I can’t let you hurt her if all you feel is something temporary. I can’t let you treat her like those other girls.”

“Because she’s The One, Dejun. I’m certain of it,” Jaehyun snapped back. “When I look at her, I see everything I’ve been searching for. It’s like I was blind for the longest time, you know? She was always just Forky to me back when I didn’t know any better. But now I see and all I see is her— her, with all her flaws. The way she hides her insecurities with her dramatic outbursts. How she picks at her cuticles when she’s nervous or how she always steals my food at home. And the way she just fits with me. I can’t explain it.”

Jaehyun didn’t even give his friend a chance to butt in. He was still rambling on with a fond smile, his mouth running a mile. “She’s been there with me since the beginning, Jun. Before I was this prince of the theatre department, she was there. She’s been there since the beginning and even when I was chasing after girls, she was there at the middle of it all, and fuck, I want to go all the way to the end with her.”

Dejun released his hold on his friend and rolled his eyes. The boy made his way to the door of the dressing room before mumbling under his breath, “God, what is with you two and giving out monologues? I swear, when this is all over, you should become playwrights.”

“What?”

“Never mind me, Jaehyun,” Dejun opened the door and gestured for Jaehyun to follow the path— the path down the hall that led to you. “What are you waiting for? Go get her, we have 30 until Joohyun calls for places!”

“Dejun, it’s much more complicated than that.”

“It’s only as complicated as you make it out to be. Just— just go and talk to her, yeah?”

Jaehyun sighed deeply as he reached your dressing room door. He knocked lightly, running through the lines he wanted to say in his head before you shouted a faint “come in.” The door squeaked open to reveal you, his best friend in the whole entire world, touching up your makeup. The best friend that he was inescapably in love with. You watched him through the mirror as he leaned against the frame with crossed arms. 

“Can we talk after the show? There’s something I need to tell you— it’s important. I don’t think I—um, I have enough time to tell you now,” Jaehyun asked, stuttering through his words. Gone was the confidence he usually bared. The only thing left in him was a scared little boy, afraid of the problem his words may cause. 

The smile he received from you did not reach your ears. “Of course,” you replied curtly before turning away from him. He noted how you were over applying your blush and fidgeting with your costume. You were doing everything in your power to avoid him. 

The tugging of your ear, the biting of your lip, the picking of your cuticles. He saw all your bad habits. You were a ball of nerves and the speaker announced it was ten minutes before places.

“Hey, Forky?”

“Yes, Jaehyun?”

“You know that I believe in you, right? Always?”

There was a twitch at the corner of your lips. “I do.”

“Good,” Jaehyun approached you with caution. You watched him from your mirror, never making direct eye contact as he came closer. He dropped a kiss on the crown on your head, relishing in the way his plush lips against your torn bandana and the lace front wig. “Break a leg, my Ella.”

He observed you through your reflection and took in how beautiful you looked in your rags. You made the rags the costume department designed for you look like riches. 

“Same goes to you, my prince,” he heard you answer in that soft tone.  Again, you had sent him to the skies and the boy was struggling to find his way back down.

When it was time to draw the curtains and light the lights for the first performance of Cinderella, it seemed like everything fell into place.  Jaehyun stared at you across the stage, falling for the way the lights illuminated your figure in that white ball gown. The bright glow brought his attention to your bright grin, that beautiful and radiant smile of yours, that shocked him to his core. 

Jaehyun locked eyes with you and suddenly, he was drowning. He was drowning in your expressive eyes. He was drowning in your overflowing love. 

It was different being across from you in front of a full audience. There was a rush that took over him whenever he saw you and it beat the flurries his heart experienced with his other leading ladies. As you said your lines with that bewitching sparkle in your eye, Jaehyun hated himself for not realizing how much he loved you sooner or how you were never playing pretend. 

But that was okay because Jung Jaehyun loved you now. He loved you in the world you made believe on stage, where he was Prince Topher and you were his Ella, and he loved you in reality where you would always be the fork to his spoon. 

Opening night went smoothly and the roaring applause I received during my final bow sent me to the moon. The way Jaehyun looked at me across the stage with eyes filled with pride and joy blasted me to places I had never been before. I became high on this feeling of being under the burning spotlights. The feeling of wearing the most intricate costume and the way his hand slid into mine for the last bow before the curtains were drawn; it was something I wanted to treasure for the rest of my life.

But with every high came a low— my low hit me when I ran into Jaehyun’s dressing room. I caught him in an embrace with Naeun who gifted my best friend with a rose. She placed a kiss on his cheek, causing his white ears to flush a deep red that rivaled the flower he held. The girl gave him a quick shove of the shoulder before heading to me. 

Her congratulatory statement went in one ear and out the other. I could barely process Naeun handing me a rose of my own before she walked out of the room, the sweet scent of her perfume lingering in her wake. She gave my best friend one more lingering look as she left and it hurt me in so many ways.

“Ready to go?” Jaehyun said, clearing his throat. “Wanna stop by the stage first? Soak in your first opening night as a lead?”

“Why the hell not?” The walk back to the stage was short. It felt different somehow.

“We did it,” I whispered.

“That we did,” he answered back. 

We walked onto the stage together and I could still hear the crowds cheering for me, giving me the standing ovation I earned. It was electrifying, the way the sparks ran through my body. It ran from the top of my head to the tips of my fingers and toes. 

Glancing around the empty auditorium, I pondered aloud, “But do you know what sucks about it all, Jaehyun?”

“What?”

“There’s nothing worse than the feeling of not being chosen and it still hurts that I wasn’t the first choice,” I replied truthfully, “Not as much as before. But I’m learning to get over it. The casting directors saw potential in me.”

“That’s because you do have the potential to be a star. You’re practically glowing right now.” I felt his eyes trained on me, just like they were the entire time we shared the stage. 

Turning abruptly to face him, I said, “You really can’t say that to me, you know?”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it makes my heart beat against my chest and these stupid butterflies come around before I remember that you have never chosen me to be your first choice,” I glared. 

“But I do choose you,” Jaehyun pushed, his voice laced with desperation, “That’s what I was trying to tell you before you stormed off on me earlier!”

“Are you really choosing me, Jaehyun? The real me? The me that has been your best friend for years? Or are you choosing the me that shares a stage with you every night? The me that could potentially be your next whirlwind romance?” No matter how desperate he sounded, he couldn’t beat the hopelessness that was dripping from my own voice. 

“No, that’s not it at all!” his voice boomed, the sound echoing throughout the empty auditorium. 

“Then, what is it, Jung Jaehyun? Because I am tired of being second best and I’m tired of not being chosen,” I almost cried. The anguish was just taking over my body and I couldn’t make it stop. “Yes, I know some parts are not right for me but I can’t help but be hurt. And then you say that you’re choosing me? Of course, I’m going to think of it being because I’m your newest love interest on stage.”

“If you could just listen—”

Unable to stop the words from coming out, I just kept running off at the mouth. Everything I wanted to say to Jaehyun was flying out of my lips at rapid speed; I couldn’t even stop it. “I have seen you in slow motion so many times and I want to just fast forward from those moments. To speed past them so I can move on from the idea of not being yours. I refuse to be a temporary love that you lose interest in. I just want you to pick me, to choose me, and to love me, damn it— is that too fucking much to ask for? To be chosen and loved?”

While I was taking a breath to continue with my rant, Jaehyun cut me off and the words he said rattled the stage, the ground beneath my feet, and my whole entire world.“No, it’s not and you are way fucking more than that, if you just take a moment out of your godforsaken monologue and listen to me! I choose you not because you’re my leading lady but because you’re you. You’ve always been this— this incredible, breathtaking you.” 

He took one step closer and I took one step back. “And you’ve the person at my side when no one else is.” 

Every single time I would retreat, Jaehyun would follow. The boy was persistent, his brown eyes trained on me. “The one who figured out you loved me first while I was too blind to see it. You’re the fork to my spoon. We’re a set, we go together. And I was too dumb to figure out that at the end of the day, I always think about you and how no one I’ve ever been with compares to you.”

 When my back hit the wall, I was trapped. Trapped in between his arms and the way they propped themselves on either side of my face. Trapped in the haze of his brown eyes and how they dug deep into my soul. 

 “I don’t see you in slow motion— I see you in fast forward. I see you in the future, my future, walking down the aisle in white and I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. All I know is that I choose you. I will always choose you.”  

I was trapped by Jung Jaehyun and there was no escape for me. Judging by the way his eyes never let me out of his sight, there was a chance my friend didn’t want to let me go either. He wanted me to stay. 

“Jaehyun, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I love you. You’re my beginning, middle, and my end.”

“You love me? Like you’re in love with me?” Jaehyun heard you ask, like the possibility of being loved by him was so impossible. You were searching for any inkling of doubt but he made sure you couldn’t find any because you were the only thing he could see. 

Jaehyun brought a hand near your cheek. It hovered there as he hesitated to touch it to your skin until you leaned into his touch. Your cheek felt so warm in his palm and it was so comforting to have you in his hold. “I wanted to say it earlier but I was just so scared of losing you as both a lover and a friend because what if it all goes to shit? What if we go to shit and things hit the fan? I can’t lose you.” 

“But you, Jung Jaehyun, are in love with me?” you repeated as your hand cupped his own. The smile you gave him was bright enough to light up the stage. 

“Yeah, I thought I made that clear. I’m sorry, did I mumble that line?” he teased playfully, trying to coerce a giggle out of you. “Should I start the scene over?”

“No, no. I’m just—” you paused and he watched you recollect your thoughts. His glittering brown eyes were trained on you as the words processed in your head. “You love me,” you laughed in disbelief. 

Jaehyun took a step closer, his hand tentatively reaching out to stroke your face. He sighed in relief as you relaxed into his touch. “You’re my number one girl. I choose you.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing that even after all this time, I’ve always chosen you, too.”

Once those words left your lips, he couldn’t hold himself back. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Jaehyun pulled you against his chest and smashed his lips against yours. Yes, he had kissed you on multiple occasions prior to this— onstage and off— but this time was different than the rest.

 This was the first time he really kissed you after your feelings were out in the open.

The first time he kissed you and finally felt the love you harbored for so many years. Jaehyun just hoped you could sense the love he was pouring out for you, too. 

He did not want to let you go but he was struggling to breathe. You were so lovely, everything about you was so incredibly lovely, and to have you in his arms was the best feeling in the universe. Everything around him turned dark and he felt the warmth of a spotlight and the flush of your body against him. The entire world was spinning beneath his feet, his heart racing, and his lips chasing you and only you. 

Jaehyun did not understand why people did drugs— the high of being so ardently in love with another person, with you, gave him the high that he needed. 

He felt you hit his chest in an attempt to end the kiss but Jaehyun did not want to stop. A light shove to his shoulders was enough to separate his lips from yours and what a sight you were— chest panting heavily for air, lips plumped and swollen, and the prettiest set of eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed me!” you said in between pants. “Like not a stage kiss but you actually kissed me!”

“That I did, love,” Jaehyun replied cheekily, taking another step towards you. You stepped back to lean against the wall but did nothing to stop him from coming forward. “Are you gonna do something about it?” 

The look in your eyes changed after you heard his new nickname for you. It was coy. Flirty. Challenging. “Do it again, I dare you,” you whispered a bit too loudly. 

Before Jaehyun closed the distance, his eyebrow perked up at the challenge. “Gladly.”

Senior year was there before we knew it. 

Another year, another posting day. 

Dejun, Jaehyun, and I swiftly made our way down the hall to the front of the theatre department, curious to find out which roles we were given. The spring production and the final musical of our college career was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. 

Callbacks for Belle went as smooth as ever— the chemistry between Jaehyun and I were off the charts. But why wouldn’t they be? We were together now. 

Just like any other time, the crowds gathering around the cast list and bulletin board parted immediately once they caught a glimpse of Jaehyun approaching. The only difference was that this time, he was tightly clutching my hand. 

When we arrived in front of the board, I shut my eyes before I could read the cast list. An anxious buzz flowed through my veins, tickling the tips of my fingers and toes. My boyfriend must’ve felt the twitching of my fingers or the sweat dripping off my palms. 

I felt his body shift towards me. “Want me to take a peek first, love?” Jaehyun asked as he pressed his plump lips onto the crown of my head. He nuzzled his nose into my hair, a small but sweet action that always comforted me. 

Shaking my head, I looked at him and said, “No, why don’t we look together?”

“On three?” he grinned lovingly.

“On three, you dumb spoon.”

The countdown was quick but the glance I took at the cast list was even quicker. It was so quick, I almost didn’t catch who was put into the role of Belle. Taking a double take, I let go of Jaehyun’s hand as my eyes zeroed in onto the tiny print. 

Everything around me came to a stop as I read and re-read the cast list. Everyone around me was celebrating their parts but I couldn’t hear them, they were all muted in my mind. All I could hear was the sound of my own breaths  and all I could see my name on the top of the page. 

Belle……………..Y/N The Beast……..Jung Jaehyun

“Oh my god, I got the part,” I whispered to no one in particular. Backing away from the board, I repeated the same words a little louder and it got the attention of everyone surrounding me. Before I knew it, everyone threw a congratulations my way. The cheers were loud and obnoxious but they were for me because I did it. I finally did it.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, I backed away from the blustering crowd before bumping into my boyfriend’s firm chest. Jaehyun caught me in his hold, his arms circling around my waist. He dropped his chin on my shoulder and placed a tender kiss on my temple. “Would you look at that? We’re not a ridiculous set of tableware this time.”

“No disrespect to those parts, they were awesome, but I think I like this a lot more,” I giggled, turning in his hold. 

As I circled my arms around his neck, he whispered, “Same here.”

I yanked him down into an earth-shattering kiss that sent the world spinning beneath my feet. It slowed down, speeded up, and it did everything in between. I saw flashes of yellow ball gowns, royal blue coats, and Jaehyun smiling at me gracefully across the stage. 

Jaehyun staring me down from the other end of an altar. 

I saw it all. 

If my life was a movie, then this would be the time that the screen would fade to black and show the names. Some overly poppy song would resonate through the speakers and everyone would get up from their seats and gush over the happy ending.

But it wasn’t. My life was as real as it could be and it was even better than any romantic-comedy that would ever grace the screen. 

This wasn’t the ending. 

This was the perfect beginning. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE. hello, my darling readers! you really didn’t have to wait that long for this release, did you? a big thank you to several people: @johtenrecs for always being my beta and for the helpful feedback, to my chaotic gc ( @smoll-tangerine, @ppangjae, @jaedore​, and @jeongvision) for listening to me complain about how i was losing it while writing this fic, to @suhpressed​ for helping me with brainstorm, and lastly, to my lovely @notnctu bc without her and our crazy idea of hosting a hannah montana collab, i wouldn’t have gotten this idea! love y’all! hope you enjoyed this and please leave feedback! uwu

TAGLIST. @yasmini24 @jaehyunnie77 @emmybyeakitty @fluffyjaes @aevizen @dearjaehyxn @yourmagnanimousholiness @jaehyvnsvalentine @keemburley @softieus @lanadreamie @lebrookestore  @notmangojuice @felixn-recs @captainsjoongs @anotherfullsun @ukiyoneo @kunrengui​ @babyyynatty​ 

© sehunniepotwrites, 2021

[harlem-to-delancy]

It’s finally done!!!!! I can’t believe I’ve been working on this for over a month now!! I started this tattoo design with a very simple idea: I wanted a Newsies tattoo that said the quote “courage cannot erase our fears, courage is when we face our fears”. And then it kind of grew from there. Originally it was just going to be that quote in a typewriter font, and then the idea went to what if it was on a newspaper and then it just kept growing. I would work on just the written concept everyday on the bus, and then eventually I started sketching it out and planning it. Which took SO much time! Like,,,, so much. The hardest part was definitely hand lettering the quotes, every single bit is handmade and made entirely without references because I just couldn’t find any that fit the idea in my head. This whole piece was so far outside my comfort zone but I’m SO proud of it honestly???

So the first one is the one I’m actually Getting as a tattoo, because I like just simple Black lines (and the picture needed to be simpler as well so the tattoo itself could be smaller). The second one I made to have a more stylized drawing version! (And of course each one has a version without the newsboys cap).

Overall I couldn’t be happier with the result and I’m so excited and ready to finally get this!! And I hope the fandom enjoys this!!

[heliads]

May I just say, I adore your Newsies writing. I can’t find too many good Spot fics, so eventually I had to write one and I took a lot of references from your writing style :)

thank you so much!! i read YOUR spot fic and i also love it. the part where spot was like "go carry your banner or something" literally made me wheeze aloud. also i'm curious, how did you come up with the names for your side newsie characters? i always have to go run to a name generator or something but what did you do?

[tending-the-hearth]

newsies brother headcanons✨

it’s soft hours so here are my newsies brother headcanons!!

- after the strike, Jack makes a point too visit the Jacobs home at least once a week, and he has dinner with the family. 

- those dinners solidify his place in the Jacobs family, because Esther and Mayer KNOW Jack and Sarah love each other, but they also see how gentle Jack is with Les, and how he brings David out of his shell, and know immediately that this boy belongs with them.

- David and Les do end up returning to school after a few months once their father recovers, but they continue to deliver the evening paper. They don’t want to give up being newsies, but Jack always makes sure they’re home at a good time, and Mama Jacobs always gives him a proud look that gives him a soft feeling inside. 

- A few times, Jack and one or two of the other newsies will meet up with David and Les at their school, and once they found David in a fight with a few other kids. (ngl i wrote a fic about this exact scenario and i’m thinking about reposting it to Ao3 because i really love it)

- the first time Les referred to Jack as his big brother, Jack basically melted. It was a given that he was a big brother/father figure to a lot of the younger newsies, but hearing those words from Les was something different that made Jack feel important, and needed. 

- Once while they were selling, someone watched Jack and David interact and asked if they were twins. David didn’t disagree, and Jack couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

- Jack sits down with Esther and Mayer one night and tells them about his own parents. About his mother, whose voice was like a bandage on a bad day, who held him close and sang quiet songs whenever he woke up in the middle of the night, whose voice only raised in defense of her family. About his father, who was strict and kind, who had a dream to bring his family to Santa Fe, where they could live in peace. Jack tells Esther and Mayer about sitting at their bedside when the sickness took them both, how he couldn’t bear to stay in the room any longer after they were gone, so he ran. He ran until he couldn’t anymore. He cries over his parents for the first time in years, and Esther and Mayer hug him close and cry with him.

- Esther’s much more open with her hugs after that, holding Jack close and making him feel safe and protected.

- He goes out on a family outing with the Jacobs a while after the strike, walking hand in hand with Sarah, an arm around David’s shoulders, laughing at Les trying to scare off the pigeons, and Esther and Mayer just beam at their kids, because they love them all so much.

- Les is ELATED when Jack proposes to Sarah, because Jack’s actually going to be his brother, and they’re really going to be a family, and the night of their engagement party, Jack and Sarah are laughing and surrounded by all the newsies and their family, and there’s just so much love and happiness.

[carryingthebanner]

NEWSIES (almost) CLOSING SHOW THOUGHTS pt.2

Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of “Me bombarding you with my thoughts: aka just scatterbrained nonsense, half formed sentences and the incoherent screaming taking place inside my brain” :)

Act 2

ACT 2 BABY TIME FOR SOME MORE ESCAPISM AND HAPPY-ISH DANCING BOYS

INSTRUMENTAL CARRYING THE BANNER AGAIN LETS GOOOO

I think the audience is clapping along to the music?? 🥺

My poor, dejected newsboys :(

OK MR. JACOBI IS GETTING ALL THE APPLAUSE YESSS WE LOVE TO SEE A MINOR CHARACTER CELEBRATED

THE AUDIENCE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY FOR THE NEWSIES AHHHHHH

THE WOILD ES YUR ERSTER

RACE IS SO EXCITED: “Yur what?” “YUR ERSTER!!!”

Somebody in the audience must really like pastrami on rye

I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER HEARD THIS MUCH APPLAUSE DURING A SONG IN MY LIFE

NOT THE APPLAUSE STOPPING WHEN KATHERINE DOES HER DANCE SOLO-

Ok never mind they’re clapping for her now

KONY IS MAKING ME CRY

Aw no sad Jack :(

HERE COMES HYPER DAVEY WITH THE BURST OF ENERGY

That bruise on Jack’s arm looks painful :/

“Can we have the thedda?” I LOVE LES

“And this here girl,” *looks at the audience* “Sally” IM SCREAMING

I just can’t get over how Katherine calls her dad “Pulitzer” which makes the Newsies assume that she doesn’t know him. I mean… I wouldn’t expect her to just be like “Hey, I’m a rich heiress!” but I can understand where Jack’s frustration comes from

Katherine also seems very cold in this. Maybe it’s just because she didn’t like the interactions she had with Jack - which is very understandable. Additionally, I kinda felt like she still hadn’t warmed up to the Newsies even a little bit until right after she started dancing with them in KONY.

With that being said, I’m kinda worried about how the romance is gonna be set up between them because right now, Jack seems butthurt and Katherine seems to be slightly mad/annoyed (?) at him.

Oof the Davey shove :/

This is probably the most emotional I’ve seen (an actor playing) Jack when talking about Crutchie.

DAVEY YOU’RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO LIGHTEN UP OK JACK AND CRUTCHIE PRACTICALLY GREW UP TOGETHER AND TOOK CARE OF EACH OTHER SO SEEING YOUR FRIEND GET BEAT SO BAD THAT HE’S ON THE BRINK BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH ISN’T EXACTLY EASY

Davey’s kinda pissing me off

DAVEY AND JACK ARE HAVING A SCREAMING MATCH-

I AM IN SHOCK

Davey kinda deserved it though because he started yelling so Jack started screaming

This is messy

This bootleg needs to come with a headphone user warning 💀

THE TENSION IS SO STRONG I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE LIKE AM I INTRUDING ON SOMETHING-

KATHERINE STAY OUT OF THIS PLEASE YOU LITERALLY HATE JACK

I am mad at literally everyone but Jack (ok well not Les, he didn’t do anything)

COREY’S FACE DURING THIS IM CRYING LAUGHING

OK CONFIRMED: THE AUDIENCE ARE INDEED A BUNCH OF FERAL FANSIES WHO DO IN FACT WORSHIP THE LINE “The poor guy’s head is spinning”

Davey stopping Katherine from going to Jack 💀

I’m shipping (platonic) Daverine/Datherine in this more than I’m shipping Jatherine

The little reassuring nod and pat on the shoulder Les gave Jack 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I really really love this version of Watch What Happens (Reprise)

I WILL NEVER GET OVER DAVEY WIPING HIS HANDS AFTER THE SPIT SHAKE AHHSBSHHS

Ok the vibe between Katherine and Pulitzer explains why she refers to him as Pulitzer 💀

“A fugitive from ONE OF YOUR OWN institutions” SIR W H Y ARE YOU RAGING-

Whenever Pulitzer’s close to her, Katherine looks scared out of her mind :(

KATHERINE POKING HER HEAD FROM BEHIND THE CHAIR TO LAUGH AT JACK’S JOKE IS THE (second) BEST THING I’VE SEEN ALL DAY

Side Note: Jeremy’s Jack feels more goofy and sarcastic while Corey’s Jack feels more nonchalant and sarcastic and I’ve honestly never thought as Jack as being the type to be calm while throwing little insults but I like it.

THE WAY HE HIT THAT TABLE MADE ME JUMP PLEASE-

THIS IS THE MOST AGGRESSIVE I’VE SEEN PULITZER ONE SECOND HE’S GROWLING THE NEXT HE’S SCREAMING AND THE NEXT HE’S TALKING NORMALLY AND IT’S DONE ALL IN ONE SENTENCE

Katherine is panicking

The way Jack ran immediately Snyder after showed himself hurt my heart :( this poor boy ugh

THIS LINE DELIVERY BETWEEN JACK AND PULITZER >>>

Oh gosh the way Jatherine looked at each other broke me

“Cowboy or CONVICT!”

I’m legitimately terrified. Pulitzer is literally wicked. Once again, John Dossett’s acting is amazing.

“All but one got away” S T O P

I hate how Morris and Oscar know that if the circumstances were different, Jack could literally break them in two. They’re just taking advantage of his current position to be cruel.

Is it a requirement for all of the antagonists to bang their hand on the table or something?? (Sir I know you hurt your hand doing that 💀)

I know the audience is not trying to clap after what just went down with Delancey’s- (I hope they’re just congratulating the amazing actors because anything other than that is just no <3)

Jack once again looks like he’s in denial

“But they sure is exciting” SPOT’S LITTLE EYEBROW RAISE

THE WAY THESE BOYS REVERE BROOKLYN IS SENDING ME 💀

I feel like these boys have a map of Brooklyn on the lodging house wall that they kiss each morning before they go off to sell papes (or a shrine dedicated to Brooklyn made out of unsold papes)

Spot is just eating this up

THE WAY SPOT IS SHAKING DAVEY’S HAND SHOWS THAT HE REALLY RESPECTS HIM NOW (thinking back to that one scene in 92sies where Javid and Boots go over to Brooklyn and Spot doesn’t take David seriously at first)

Nooo it cut all the way to Jack negotiations with Pulitzer I WANTED TO SEE SOME JAVEY BETRAYAL

After 45 minutes of searching Google and this very Hellsite, I have finally found a Corey/Kara boot but not one with Liana *cries*.

OK HERE WE GO THIS SHOW IS BACK ON THE ROAD

YOU CAN SEE THE ORCH PIT IN THIS ONE I’M IN LOVE

The sky is so unbelievably pretty-

I WAS WONDERING WHY MEDDA WAS LOOKING IN THE AUDIENCE FOR JACK AND TURNS OUT HE COMES UP FROM THE AUDIENCE TO TELL THE NEWSIES TO STOP THE STRIKE

YOU CAN SNYDER (?) WATCHING JACK FROM ABOVE OMG

Spot slowly walking towards Jack to hit him with his newsboy cap 💀

Katherine is so upset with Jack that she’s making me cry ahhhhh

WOAH OK THIS IS THE SASSIEST I’VE EVER SEEN KATHERINE AND I AM ABSOLUTELY LIVING FOR IT

Jack’s confused “Huh?!” after Katherine kisses him 😭

“What’s this about?” JACK’S HAND GESTURES ARE KILLING ME PLEASE

NO WAIT JATHERINE IS ACTUALLY SO CUTE AHHHHH W H Y AM I SMILING

Corey is giving me strong Aladdin vibes right now and I don’t know why

I think it’s the smile

GOD I HATE THIS SONG SO MUCH BUT THEY’RE MAKING ME LIKE IT J A T H E R I N E S T O P

The way he grabbed her hand BYE 🥺😭

KARA LINDSAY MY LYRIC SOPRANO QUEEN (she truly has such an incredible voice)

Every time I watch a Bway Newsies bootleg, I somehow like Jatherine a little bit more UGH

Not Jack wiping his hands practically down his entire leg 😭

THE ANGRY KIDS AGAINST CAPITALISM SONG IS STARTING

Jack looks tired but hopeful and I’m glad to see the fire hasn’t left his eyes :)

THE MUSIC IN THIS BOOT IS TOP TIER

Ugh I love this song so much

I’m not the most observant but I never realized that the screen showed them making the Newsies Banner?

Ok a few scenes are being skipped again but back to Liana and Corey!

THE WAY COREY SAID “It’s a compromise we can all live with” I JUST SNORTED LOL

I missed hearing applause after every line :)

COREY IS SMILING AHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE WAY PULITZER LOOKED AT JACK AFTER HE SPIT IN HIS HAND I’M CACKLING

I’m so excited to see Crutchie again

“Newsies of New York,” CHILLS “We won!” ENHAHEUEBEUENEJ

I love this show so much <3

Crutchie looks so beat up :/ what happened to his neck 🥺 (I was reading “unless you take your army back” on ao3 today and Crutchie had a bruise on his neck there too and now I can’t stop thinking about all the pain he faced in the refuge ughhhhehahehhwhsheha)

Even though this is just a character, there were actual kids who went through that. I bet some didn’t even make it out :( They didn’t deserve that <\3

Ahh I missed seeing Andy bounce around the stage

THE TINY BOW AFTER HE SAYS “Please, your highness” I LOVE CRUTCHIE

CRUTCHIE USING HIS BAD LEG TO KICK SNYDER IN THE BACK AHHHHHH

Jack is back to cupping Crutchie’s face and my heart is full

THE LITTLE ARM TOUCH CRUTCHIE DOES TO JACK IM CRYING I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH ALL MY HEART

Crutchie and Davey walking away together is melting my heart (again)

I have used “heart” four times in the last four bullet points. No, I am not I ok

THE FIST PUMP HE DOES AFTER THE KISS 😭

JACK THROWS HIS BAG AND IT LANDS ON HIS FACE

THIS SHOW IS SO HIGH ENERGY

One of the best parts of this show is seeing how Jack, Katherine, Crutchie, David and Les react in the background while the other Newsies dance.

AWWWW

I seriously could not stop smiling even if I tried

Where did this lump in my throat come from?

I am choking on my own tears

Corey and Liana pointing to each other during the curtain call 🥺

Oh my gosh it’s over I’m crying

Conclusion: Every time I watch Newsies I fall in love with it 10x more. I also try not to scream at myself for discovering this show so late. I was looking at the old toursies schedule yesterday and I saw that Toursies had performed literally 20 minutes away from where I live and I just wanted to ugghhhh *screams in I-wish-I-had-a-time-machine*. But the 54 Below 10th anniversary announcement came out yesterday and finding out about it today made me so incredibly happy ahshshwhsh I really hope they stream it because words cannot express how much I love this show, how much it means to me and how much it has changed my life.

ew gross not me being sappy on main 🤮

[all-the-lovely-newsies]

What A Moment Can Do (Chapter 5)

Chapter One / On Ao3

Chapter Two / On Ao3

Chapter Three / On Ao3

Chapter Four / On Ao3 

Summary: Specs visits the Refuge!

Triggers: Reference to previous injuries. Nothing too graphic. 

(OR READ ON Ao3)

Specs stared up at the one place he vowed to never return. The unmarked, desolate building surrounded by a tall cement wall loomed in front of him, casting a long, dark shadow.

The Refuge.

He shouldn’t be here, he knew. He should have just turned around when he knew he was safe but memories flashed before his eyes of his short stay in Hell. There was no way he could get Crutchie out, but he had to make sure he was at least conscious. Specs knew the terrible things that could happen, he’d experienced it both firsthand- granted years ago- and through the return of some of his fellow newsies.  Memories of Romeo returning made him shudder. The boy’s warm smile and flirty nature permanently tampered with, despite how far he’d come. But then there were others, like Race and Jack, who’d been in and out more times than he could count.

Specs sighed, Jack was still missing, gone off to who knows where. Hell, he could be in there too for all Specs knew. He doubted it, although he bolted at the first sign of trouble and only saw the full heat of everything when the newsies trickled into the lodging house one by one, each sporting a worse wound than the last. Then Davey came running in, head bleeding, begging to know the location of his brother, and rambling about Crutchie getting taken away.

So, here he was. Specs took a deep breath and walked the length of the wall. After a bit of searching he found a hole just big enough for him to squeeze his lanky body through and bolted toward the fire escape. There were so many windows, so many rooms Crutchie could be in, how could he possibly find the right one? He let out a huff as he climbed up the fire escape, careful not to slip or make too much noise. The last thing he needed was to get caught. Doing so wasn’t easy, however, as the fire escape was on its last legs to begin with and any sudden shift in weight caused it to creak and shake.

Without any logical place to start, Specs went up to the first barred window and peered in. The sight immediately sent into a spiral of memories of his time spent in the horrendous place. The room was packed with kids, just as dirty, and just as frighteningly quiet.

Although he was more rebellious in his younger years, the Refuge calmed him down quickly. The only thing that kept him going was Romeo, the young, poor boy who flirted with anything with a pulse, even if it earned him a black eye or time in solitary. Specs smiled thinking about the boy who was waiting for him back at the lodging house. The one he promised to come back for, and the real reason he took extra caution.

The sound on an opening window shocked Specs back to reality. Shit, he thought and fell back onto his butt in surprise. He looked up expecting to see a guard- or worse- but instead met the eyes of a dark-skinned boy. Unfortunately, he looked just as angry as any guard would have been.

“Who’re you?” the boy questioned.

“I- uh- uh-”

“Wha’re ya doin’ here? Just sittin around like a ninny? You’se wanna get caught or sumthin’?”

“No, I- uh” Specs cleared his throat, “I’m looking for someone. Got in yesterday. Uses a crutch?” The boy’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head.

“We ain’t had no new people. So get along ‘fore I get in trouble,” the boy went to close the window but Specs leaped up and grabbed the bars.

“Wait, please!” The boy stopped. “Look, I really gotta find him. I-I gotta. ‘N I don’t have time to look in every window. Please,” Specs looked at the boy with pleading eyes.

“Look, we don’t get out much, a’ght. And when we do,” the boy raised his hand gently to a bruise on the side of his head, “it ain’t like it’s ta mingle.” Specs hung his head and started to turn away. The boy let out a frustrated sigh, “Look, I ain’t saying this means anything, but there has been a lot a ruckus down this hall recently. So, if I was you, I’d continue down this line a windows.”

With that, the boy wished Specs good luck and closed the window. Specs sighed,  at least it was a start.

He made his way down the fire escape walkway, each just as unsuccessful as the first. He looked at the last window with dread, sure it wasn’t the last window in the place, but every minute he spent was another minute Crutchie was in the dark, and he was a minute closer to getting caught.

There was also the possibility that Crutchie wasn’t in any of these rooms. Specs shuddered at the memory of the isolation cell, or basement that he had heard rumors of. He had seen boys disappear and never return down there, and Jack had confided small bits of information about it.

Sure, Crutchie was tough, sure, just as tough as any other newsie, but no one could last long in a place like that. A place that coated Specs’ mischievous and carefree attitude with dirt, sweat, and blood. Layered on so thick that there was no finding the boy he once was. He changed, just as much as nearly everyone who’d been there. Specs just feared the change it would bring to the optimistic boy everyone had come to rely on.

Specs sighed and knocked on the final window, it took a moment, but Specs could see some blurry figures moving through the dirty glass. The window creaked open and Specs met the eyes of a dirty-faced, confused boy. Before he had a chance to ask, Specs sputtered out, “Crutchie. I’m looking for Crutchie. He here?”

He looked at the boy with pleading eyes. The boy’s eyebrows pinched together but slowly he nodded and turned away. Specs’ eyes lit up and he sprang closer to the window, his hands clenched the bars and his eyes furiously scanned the room, now clear from the grime of the window. He watched impatiently as the boy gathered someone from the ground on the other side of the room. Specs rubbed his glasses against his shirt to make sure he was seeing clearly- it was Crutchie!

Specs let out a laugh as Crutchie approached the window, supported by his crutch and the shoulder of the other boy.

“Thanks, Ten-Pin” Crutchie dismissed the boy. Ten-Pin gave one last warning glance at Crutchie and left the duo. “Specs!” Crutchie reached his hand out the window and through the bars. “What’re ya doin’ here?” Specs grabbed his hand.

“To see you of course. We needed to make sure that you were okay.”

“Of course I’m okay,” his smile faltered a bit, “never better.” Specs’ smile fell, finally noticing the bruises and cuts covering his friends’ face and arms. The deep purple circles under his eyes were barely noticeable next to the black eye he was sporting.

“You look like shit,” it came out more blunt than Specs intended, but there was no beating around it.

“You’se too kind,” Crutchie looked down and chuckled. Suddenly, his eyes went wide, “How’s uh, how’s ev’ryone else? They all okay?” He strained his head to try and look past Specs, “Is anyone else here? Where’s Jack?”  

Specs fought away the shakiness of his voice, “Ah, you know Jack. He’s off doing something important with Davey. Keeping the strike going and all that, yeah? Our Jack, always up ta something.” He couldn’t admit to Crutchie that no one knew where he was, or if he was even alive, but evidently it was the wrong thing to say, as Crutchie’s eyes dropped.

“Yeah, sure, right.”

“But- but uh- the first thing he wanted to do was make sure you were okay. Yeah, and he sent me straight here to see you. So, uh, you-you okay?” Sure Specs was lying through his teeth, but this was the best he could do for the moment.

There was a long stretch of silence between the two boys. A loud hacking cough from deep in the room broke Specs’ concentration. When he looked back at Crutchie, Tears threatened the corners of his eyes.  

“I’se okay Specs,” he sank his head down to rest it against the bars, “but you’se and the boys gotta stay away from here. It aint-” the tears flowed down his face, over his nose and cheeks. Specs just stared, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw Crutchie cry. They were all hardened by the life they were given, but it wasn’t unusual to see another newsie with puffy eyes after a particularly rough day or a nightmare. But Crutchie, Crutchie always seemed to be immune to that. He was the one everyone went to for comfort, the one all the littles immediately clung to. He was patient, understanding, and could always walk away from the situation with matching smiles. But here he was, the mask breaking, tears streaming through the cracks. Now it was Specs’ turn to return the favor. He reached up and grabbed Crutchie’s hand, trying to ignore the way Crutchie reflexively flinched away. He gave the hand a slight squeeze in reassurance. Crutchie glanced up at him, tears still fresh in his eyes.

“You’re going to be okay,” Specs spoke with a newly found confidence, “I’ll get Jack. We’ll win this strike, and you’re going to be okay. We all are. Just wait and see.” Crutchie smiled and nodded weakly.

“I never doubted you’se. But, uh, you don’t gotta make Jack come. I know what this place has done ta him.” Specs nodded. Crutchie’s eyes went wide as he dug his hand deep into his pocket and retrieved a piece of paper. “When you do see Jack, can you give him this?” He held the folded paper out through the window and Specs grabbed it and put it in his own pocket.

“Of course.”

“Hey Specs?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” Specs smiled and gave him a confident nod.

“Crutchie!” Ten-Pin ran up to the window, startling Specs. “There’s someone coming, Stretch heard footsteps. You’se gotta go!” Specs stood frozen for a moment. “Now!” With that Ten-Pin slammed the window closed just as Specs heard the door open. He quickly ducked under the window, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from the foggy window. He was able to make out a few dark shapes of what the supposed guard the kid warned them about. There was the unmistakable sound of muffled screaming and a punch meeting its target. Specs winced and pressed himself up against the wall, hoping that if there was no noise the guard wouldn’t think to look at what they were surrounding the window for.

Specs could hear Crutchie’s muffled voice towards the guard and the gruff voice shouting back. He didn’t dare move until the yelling had ceased behind a slamming door. He took the opportunity to take one last glance through the window, only to be met with stillness. He sighed and felt at the folded paper Crutchie gave him that was tucked in his pocket.  ‘Give this to Jack’ he requested. It was the least he could do. The only problem was that now he had to track down the strike leader. But he owed it to Crutchie to try.

Specs stuffed the paper into his pocket and swiftly climbed down the fire escape. Knowing Jack, if he wasn’t around the other newsies, he didn’t want to be found. And if he didn’t want to be found, it wouldn’t be a happy reunion. Specs leaped down from the last leg of the latter and darted away from the building  toward the lodging house. It was as good as any place to start looking.

TAGLIST:: (Let me know if you want to me added or removed)

@romeo-in-a-trenchcoat @klaineharmony​ @americasfavoritefightingthot  @stripeconlon​ @jd-sammy  @wingedprunepsychiclawyer @nerdgirl453  @waitin-makes-me-antsy

[mrsdeanwinchester19]

The Interview

Steve x reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: The Avengers have interviews with a news outlet and it doesn’t go as expected

Type: Fluff and humor

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: This was inspired by the Jiminy Glick/Jimmy Fallon interview

The Avengers compound was almost completely quiet, Steve was the only one awake.  He doesn’t normally stay at the compound anymore, preferring to stay at his house, but they got in late from a mission last night and fell asleep after taking his suit off.  The only noise came from the drip, drip, drip of the coffee maker as he mentally tried to prepare for the interviews the whole team has today.  Everyone had been assigned a journalist for a news outlet called The New York Sun.  They were doing a piece on the Avengers, hopefully they won’t try to turn it into an exposé, but it’s not like they would find any information that isn’t already on the Internet after Natasha decrypted and released SHIELD’s files.

Bucky stumbles into the kitchen in a long gray and purple striped robe, looking like he just woke from cryo.  “Good morning sunshine,” Steve jokes.  Bucky glares at him before taking the cup of coffee that Steve had prepared for himself before walking back out.  “FRIDAY,” Steve says to the air.  “Set an alarm for everyone’s room.”  He smiles slightly when the loud alarm starts blaring in all their rooms.  

Sam slams his door open and looks around frazzled.  “What the hell, man?” He clearly woke up thinking there was some kind of attack happening.

Steve simply shrugs his shoulders in response.  “You need to get ready.”

Once everyone had gotten up and gotten ready, they all have a meeting in the common area.  Tony orders them not to say anything the people don’t know about already, don’t say anything about each other, and definitely don’t talk about relationships or family.  

The journalists are spread out around the compound, each in their own room, so Tony tells them where to go to meet their journalist.  Steve goes into the conference room to see one chair turned away from him.  When he closes the door, the journalist spins their chair around and sets their papers on the table.  Steve is immediately struck by how beautiful the interviewer is. Long Y/H/C hair tumbling over her shoulders, bright Y/E/C eyes staring into his baby blues.  She’s wearing a tight black skirt and a white blouse that Steve can slightly see her lacy bralette through.  

“Steve Rogers, nice to meet you,” she says, extending her hand.  Steve grips her soft hand in his rough one and shakes it.  He can’t help but notice the lack of a ring on the hand he didn’t shake.

“Nice to meet you too Miss…” he trails off.

“Y/N.”

“Miss Y/N.  It’s not often we do interviews, just press conferences,” he says, sitting down across the table from her.

“Well, normally I interview celebrities, so this is a nice change of pace,” she answers.  Apparently Steve isn’t a celebrity in her eyes despite the fact that he’s a national icon and has been since World War II.  

“What would you like to know?” Steve changes the subject.

“I want to know about your journey.  I want to know how-” she checks her notes, “-Steve Rogers got to where he is today; but not too much detail because I don’t actually care.  You were born where?”

“I was born and raised in Brooklyn-,” Steve explains, but she cuts him off.

“-Isn’t that wonderful? Poor Brooklyn or Newsies Brooklyn?”

“Uh, it was more poor Brooklyn.”

“Poor Brooklyn, okay. And I’m assuming from the grammar…limited education.”

Steve nearly has to keep his jaw from dropping at her audacity.  To keep his mouth from opening, he clenches his jaw as she continues with the questions.  He may not be a genius like Tony, but he’s smart.  While Tony’s head is filled with ideas for inventions, his is packed with military strategies, fighting styles, and a lifetime of wise advice that the team never wants to hear.  Then, at night, what takes over his mind is how embarrassing the Rappin’ with Cap videos about hot lunches and tooth decay are.

She continues before he has a chance to respond, “There are a lot of words you don’t say.  Rumors are you don’t swear, is that true?”  Steve nods his head in affirmation.  “Why?  Are you scared of saying the words or something?”

Steve sighs, used to this kind of response.  “I just think it sounds unintelligent and unprofessional.”

“Ah, and with your lack of education you want to sound as smart as possible.  So, moving on, you stopped producing weapons.  You said ‘I’m not gonna do it anymore’.  Why is that?”

“Yeah, that uh, that wasn’t me, that was Tony.”

“And you are…?”

“Steve Rogers.”

She gasps, “These questions are not- I’m not prepared for this!  Alright, improvising.  Here’s one, how are you alive?”

“I beg your pardon?” Steve asks, not quite understanding if she’s referring to his age or a certain mission he shouldn’t have come back from.

“You went into the ice. Human cells are mostly made of water. When water freezes, it expands. Your cells should have burst.”

“They think that the serum prevented it from happening.  The doctors said that instead of the water in my cells expanding that when it got cold it clumped together and turned solid.  I’m not a scientist though, that’s something you would want to ask Bruce or Cho, they tried to explain it to me.”

“Bruce isn’t a medical doctor, right?” she asks.

“Right.  But he studied the serum, attempting to replicate it and now that I’m here again he’s trying to learn more about it.  I was basically a pin cushion for him in the beginning, he took so much blood.”

“Alright, last question. I wanna ask you about your relationship with Bucky Barnes.”

“He’s a very good friend-“ Steve begins.

“Lover.”

“What?”

“Is he your lover?” she asks again.

“No, he’s just a friend; basically my brother,” Steve defends.

“Admit it in this interview, he’s your male lover!”

“You’re just trying to get a reaction out of me!” Steve says.  He knows he shouldn’t let her rile him up at all, but he can’t help it when the entire interview has been to hold.

“I’m not trying to get a reaction.”

“Yes you are, you’re trying to get a reaction out of me by saying ridiculous stuff like this!”

“I’ll tell you the reaction that I’m trying to get over, I’m trying to get over the fact that I thought this was with Stark!”

“You gotta be shitting me.”

“Oof, Rogers, you kiss your wife with that mouth?  Or should I say you kiss Bucky with that mouth,” she says.

Steve pulls at his own hair before walking out of the conference room.  She’ll find her own way out.  What the hell kind of interview was that?  The questions were almost nonsensical, followed no pattern or sequence, and apparently she thought she was interviewing a different person.  He’s been angered by interviewers before, especially when they try to work in “gotcha” questions, but never straight up insulted like this with the education comment.  He’s not sure if the others are done with their interviews yet but if he needs to talk to them, he can text.  He’s headed home.

  You unlock your front door and drop your purse after closing the door. Before you even get a chance to turn on the light, a voice calls out.  “Limited education?”

You jump a bit and put your hand on your chest.  You look over to see a dark figure on the couch.  He stands up and slowly walks over until he’s in the light shining through the front windows from the street lights.  “I think you deserved it,” you say.

“Oh really?” he asks.

“Yes.  Texting your wife that you’re getting in and then staying at the compound?”  You walk closer to him.  “I stayed up for hours worried that something happened to you in the last few minutes of the flight and you said I’m not allowed to call you during missions.”

“I’m sorry babe, my phone died and I passed out when I went to go take off my uniform.  Can you forgive me?” he asks, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You look up at him then at his chest.  “I mean, a massage would definitely help…”

He laughs.  “I was about to ask the same thing of you, especially after FRIDAY showed Tony the full recording of my interview and then had an almost two hour phone call with me about it.  He’s gonna kill me when he finds out the interviewer was my wife.  Actually it’s gonna be when he finds out I got married and didn’t invite the team.”

“Well don’t worry about it,” you say, setting your hands against his chest and feel his strong heart beating beneath his skin.  “He’ll understand since you two weren’t on good terms at the time. In other news, I wrote you a shining review about how you’re smart, selfless, brave, kind, and how sexy your ass is.”

He laughs and leans down to kiss you.  The kiss is chaste but sweet.  “We’re having dinner with the team on Thursday.”  

It’s Monday today so that gives me only 3 days to mentally prepare to meet the people most important to him. “Are you sure?” I ask nervously.  

“Of course!  You already know Bucky and he loves you.  I’m sure the rest of the team will too.  Besides, how else will we explain the great article about me when Tony saw the interview.”

“Did you tell them they’re having dinner with you and your wife?” I ask.  I have hung out with Bucky and Steve dozens of times.  He comes over for dinner at least twice a week and he was the best man at Steve’s second wedding.  Because Tony and Steve had been split apart, he really wanted Bucky at his wedding, even though he wasn’t fully recovered yet.  I think Steve would’ve put him in a straight jacket had it meant he could be there.  Bucky also wanted to be there more than anything, he was just terrified he would ruin Steve’s day.  So after telling Bucky, you had a small, second ceremony that Bucky was able to attend, along with Steve’s Wakandan friends. We may end up having a third ceremony that the team can finally attend.

“Nope.  I just told them team dinner on Thursday and they have to be there.  But for now, how about we head to the bedroom and get reacquainted?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows and biting his full lower lip.

“Yeah, you need to take care of your wife that you left alone for a week.  Otherwise you’ll get an article about your secret addition to glazed donuts and soap operas!”

Taglist: @imanuglywombat​