#toff writes stuff

[toffyrats]

intro post!! 🤯🤯

heyy it’s me toff and i decided it was finally time to make a proper intro post !

fandoms list (subject to change):

splatoon

newsies

les miserables

the great gatsby

the legend of zelda

i post my random thoughts a lot!!! i also do art and sometimes write things!

my fav characters:

frye onaga

pearl houzuki

marina ida

albert dasilva (#red’s tag)

grantaire (#taire’s tag)

marius pontmercy

courfeyrac

i am an aaron tveit and jeremy jordan lover forever

other socials!

tiktok: toffyrats

discord: sadfac3d

and that’s basically all you need to know!! hope to see u around!!

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Neil talking about the responses to Good Omens Season 2 - from the Neil Gaiman interview with Brian Levine for The Gould Standard (x,x)

BL: The audience that you have built is a very passionately engaged audience. They, frankly, they love you. And one of the reasons they love you is that you fit into what I think of as one of two great divisions in art. There's, or in writing, um, there is: I'm entertained, I'm amused. I may be even enchanted; and then there's this hits me at a visceral level. You understand me as no one else does. You have touched something very central to my experience. And it seems to me that Much of your writing, maybe all of your writing, actually reaches your audience at that latter level. You know. I would say in the former category, sort of my quintessential and beloved example would be P. G. Woodhouse. He amuses me, but I don't feel like he's revealed my inner self at a very deep level. Um, were you aware that you were going to be able to achieve that? Um, that this is something... was it a startling thing when people began coming up to you, who'd read your work and said, this means so much to me?

Neil: Yeah. It was huge. And it wasn't expected. I... if I had a mountaintop I was heading towards, it was gonna be P. G. Woodhouse. Um, I wanted to be a proficient entertainer with a clear prose style who could tell stories. Um, it probably wasn't until Sandman that I found... I started to realize that in order for a story to work, I had to show too much. In order for a story to resonate, in order for a story to matter, I had to let it matter too much. And, and I remember the first people who would start coming up to me and saying, um, you, you know, your, your Sandman comics got me through the death of a loved one. Your death character got me through my child's death, through my parent's death, through my partner's death, through my friend's death. Um, and that left me kind of amazed. I'm like, well, I didn't write it to do that. I wrote it to feed my children. I wrote it to satisfy myself. I wrote it because nobody else had ever written it. And if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be written, but I don't think I wrote it to give you what you've taken from it. And I spent really about 20, 25 years feeling awkward about that. And then my father died, in March 2009, and never got to cry about it. Never... I, you know, I've, I've got on a plane and I went to the UK and dealt with the funeral stuff and organized all of that stuff and came back and go toff the plane and went and did Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report and wearing the funeral suit because and that was all I had with me and carried on. And then, somewhere in the middle of summer, I was reading a friend's script. They'd sent me a script and said, can you look this over? And I'm reading it, and on page 20, the lead character meets somebody, and on page 26 maybe, she's dead, and I burst into tears. And I'm bawling. I am sobbing. It is coming out of me in giant racking waves. And I realized that it's everything that I'd been, hadn't let myself feel, or hadn't been able, hadn't stopped enough to let myself feel, was suddenly being given permission to feel by the death of a fictional person who I'd met six pages earlier, ia script. And I thought that... and it was huge for me, and I thought, okay, that's that thing that people are talking about sometimes, when they come tome and they say, you, you did this. So right now, I'm in this weird, wonderful place where I think a lot of people in Good Omens Season 2 thought they were signing up for the P.G. Woodhouse, and didn't know that, no, no, no, you've, you've signed up for the whole thing. You've signed up for the feelings. You've signed up for the emotions. I... it is my job to make you care and to make you feel and to feel things you haven't felt before. And which meant that the first week or so after Good Omens came out, I was getting angry, furious, deeply upset messages on every possible social medium telling me that I had betrayed people, and it was awful, and they couldn't stop crying, and why would I do that to them, and did I hate them? And they hated me. And then a weird sort of phenomenon happened as people would watch the show again. And again. And now they started to know, okay, this is where it's gonna go, this is what's gonna happen, this is how it works. And they started realizing that they were actually feeling things, and that was good. And that they were caring about two people who don't exist. You know, I made them up, and then and Terry Pratchett made them up, and then, um, David Tennant and Michael Sheen gave them life, and then they get to walk around on a screen and you know they don't exist, but you can cry for them, you can love them, they can make you laugh, they can make you exult, and most important of all, they can make you care. And the number of people who are now writing to me, saying, 'This was so important to me. This has changed my life. This makes me feel like I belong. This makes me feel like I can cope. And it's let me sort of find myself. P. S. I hope you get to do Season Three.' is, is huge.

[lbcreations-blog]

Hallo !! Was wondering if ye could do some platonic headcanons for Zuko with a reader who's just a menace to society?

Hell ya, I love Zuko

Notes: This is very short. By the way, I apologize for such

Masterlist

---------

A menace to society

You are a normal human. You can not bend one bit. So you decided to take your personality as your weapon. At least that was the plan you made until you just straight up became a menace to society.

Now Zuko has to deal with you, his menace to society bestie.

Anng and Katara would get so angry with your antics. Sokka would get angry with you but is more likely to join your antics. Toff, she's joining your antics. When she's in the mood to do so, at least.

And then Zuko, your best friend. You worry him. He does not want the fire benders to put you in jail.

When you kick down that cabbage guys stuff, he is trying to stop you. When you push the waiter for giving you the wrong snack, he is right behind you, trying to stop you.

In the end, he cares for you, but please stop, he's worried.

----------

I know this was short. I was not too sure how to write this but I hope you enjoyed it

[lettersregardingjeeves]

this downright jolly newsletter puts me to mind of interactive fiction games your worthy followers may be remiss to miss. the absolutely topping writer of Tally Ho (and it's not-exactly-sequel Jolly Good: Cakes and Ale) may or may not be contacting Wodehouse via oujia board to write the bally things. with a valet-and-toff premise, 1920s setting, great quantity of overbearing relations, and all the adventure and romance and potential for complete social disgrace due to overcomplicated schemes that anyone could ask for, it's simply bang up the elephant

my apologies in advance if, once shared, you are lost, like me, in all the variations & scenarios &c. that the games allow

yrs affectionately-

As a player of Tally Ho myself, I can assure you that my followers certainly would be remiss to miss it! Topping stuff, and so Jeevesian I even put it on my list of adaptations of Wodehouse! I didn't know about the sequel, however, so I may very well have to add it!

[rayslittlekitten]

WIP Updates - June 11, 2024

Hi, y'all! First and foremost, thank you all for still sticking around and being so patient if you're still following me. I haven't really posted any fics since end of last year (the Christmas Kai fic), and with the exception of finally finishing that Dieter fic which I posted a few months ago (it was literally like a two year WIP).

My inspirations and motivations have been really up and down on top of tons of life stuff (all good stuff, including my broken leg being almost fully functional again) so I've been focusing on that mainly. I do write whenever I get a zap of inspo and motivation but it's usually just a line or two, unless it's a new fic idea and churn out paragraphs, but none of them are complete so I just add to my WIP list instead.

What motivated me to write this post is because I had realized in a few months I'd be a year since I last updated "I Almost Told You That I Loved You" and many have asked about it and you all deserve an update on all my WIP. I promise you, I have not abandoned it. I have the beginning of the next chapter written, but I am very meticulous about what direction I want to take it and it requires a lot of time and energy for me go back to that place to figure it all out which unfortunately, these days I don't have for that, but I assure you it is not abandoned, but I don't have any ETA for the next chapter. It's been especially difficult for me to write smut which like 95% of these contain.

But here are the WIP that I have been actively working on since forever:

I Almost Told You That I Loved You Chapter 20

Fine Wine (Dad!Will x Wife!Reader)

Crush Part 2

Untitled Dad!Will x Wife!Reader smut (maybe I'll share a snippet one day)

Next chapter for the Toff Girl series (another one I need to really figure out what direction I want to take it in)

There may be some not listed on here which also doesn't mean I've abandoned those either, I'm just not currently actively working on those, although feel free to send an ask if you have any questions about them. Thank you again for your patience! You all are the best 🥹

Also, just in case, because only sometimes Tumblr shows my masterlist link on my header, here is my MASTERLIST which I will eventually revamp because it is a tragedy. You can also find me on AO3.

[upsettingandunfortunateclasshate]

I slag yank films and telly but to my knowledge it's not as held back by class barriers as the UK in terms of writing, casting, programme making

And for me that's why a lot of working class people chime with their stuff more than BBC and ITV dramas etc

Poverty and struggle is better done over there than here, especially African American struggle, cos here it's made by people who aren't in poverty and who don't struggle

The UK could never make Oz, the Wire or the Walking Dead cos it would be written by toffs and acted by toffs cos that's who dominate our TV & film in front of the camera and behind it. It'd be fucking atrocious. But worse than that, they can't conceive of the idea let alone pull it off.

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

OUGH OK HI

this is kind of mostly for @chases-main-blog because you're probably the only one besides toff who'll read this but everyone's welcome xx its abt my ocs and just newsies in general btw babes so if you aint interested dont read it

ok so i got back from an airshow in my city (yes yes i know government propaganda galore, planes are cool ok) because my dad was in the air force for twenty-odd years and is a huge nerd, which he has passed on to me and my brother slightly

my point being!!

the entire tme i was thinking of. uh. basically a top gun au. of newsies. OK BUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUTTTT

(im gonna use some terms that if you didnt basically grow up on an air base like i did you might not understand but bear w me ok)so you need to trust your squadron with your life, right? what do the boroughs do? exactly. and they have callsigns in the AF (not sure abt any other branches, lmk if you have that info but i dont think they get callsigns hah boring losers >:P) WHAT DO THE NEWSIES HAVE??? STUPID NICKNAMES THAT DONT REALLY MAKE SENSE!!! DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!

so consider

theres no war because i say so and theye all just goofing off on base as all the different squadrons (OHGOHGOHOOHO BROOKLYN WOULD SO BE HELICOPTERS OMGGGG) and they just have a jolly old time until they get this super important super top secret mission where they all have to work together and it would be so cool

ok wait now i gotta

manhattan-F-16s, little guys that go NYOOOOM n shoot stuff

brooklyn-HH-60G pave hawks, theyre big helicopters, search n rescue (hey manhattan the calvary's comin WHO) and pararescue but they also have turrets i think and obvi everyone on board is armed so theyre like super cool

queens-A-10s cus they get to blow stuff up but theyre really slow so pick your poison, i think they'd do A-10s in the field and hang back to train on the T-38s but i know queensies would love A-10s cus they have a rotating gun on the front that shoots super fast and is just an all around cool plane ALTERATIVELY they would also be F-16s because go nyoom shoot stuff

bronx-T-38s, trainers for the big jets and only used sparingly (sorry bronx xx) i think they'd be ground control as well

harlem-C-5 galaxy, MASSIVE jet used for transportation of troops and cargo n planes n stuff and when i say massive i mean m a s s i v e like they drive wholeass tanks and jets n stuff in there, and the nose swings up aswell as the back hatch so you can just. drive straight through this giant plane, its so cool

long island-F-35 theyre pretty fast and can go pretty high so all around a good jet, not much else to say

can you tell i basically lived on base until i was like eight?

ive had a scene for if i actually wrote this stuck in my head all day abt eel n shoe and i just ughhhh ok now i have to write it but i'm gonna put a read more so if you dont want to read it you dont have to xx

a crackle and a ding came over the intercom, soft breathing following. "heya harv, it's just me n' you right now." eel rasped. harvey swallowed, bile threatening to rise in his throat.

"no no no, please-" another burst of static in his ear. "hey this is monkey to shoe, are you ok? i know-ah shit!-sorry, there's a lot goin' on, but no one was talking to ya before-?" monkey trailed off, waiting for shoe's answer. he blinked back the tears he knew were going to come, tilting his throttle up to get him higher. "i-uh, it's- it's fine, i-"

"harvey, i ain't got a lot of time, i ne-i need you to listen." eel's voice wavered, but it was still strong in harvey's ear. he nodded. "m' listenin'."

"monkey to shoe again, are-" "gimme a second, blake?" shoe snapped, maneuvering around the sky as projectiles screamed past him, missing him by mere meters. using the first name in the field was a big no-no, but it made monkey shut up, though shoe could hear him over the comms talking to the other pilots, asking if they had heard shoe as well.

his comms were messed up, he realized; he was supposed to be on a private channel with eel, and it had glitched and made it so only he could hear eel, but the entire squadron-and everyone on the ground, he thought-could hear him.

he drew in a shaky breath. "i'm here, zeke. talk to me."

eel chuckled dryly. "don't go all top gun on me, you'se the one makin it out of here."

harvey's heart seemed to stop, the air around him seeming to compress in and choke him.

"what?"

eel sighed and sniffed, the shuffling from his end telling shoe he was moving his helmet around, wiping tears. "harvey, my engine's blown and we're on enemy territory. i'm miles away from everyone else on orders from boss, it was s'posed to be a sneak attack but they got to you faster than cowboy thought-" "no, do not say what-" harvey interrupted. "harvey liam sellers, will you listen to me for once in your stupidly beautiful life?"

shoe sobbed quietly, watching his radar on his display, praying to any god who might still have love for him that it would pick up anything but the others in the squadron and the MIGs.

"we both knew deep down when we got orders i wasn't coming back from this one." eel sounded surprisingly calm for a guy who was talking about the possibility of his own death. "no, please, you can't do this to me right now, what about-" shoe sniffed, knowing he was arguing with a mind made up.

"ground control to phantom four, are you alright?" it was comforting to hear another familiar voice, the message poker carried not so much. "peachy, ground. i- everything's just kosher." harvey knew he sounded extremely far from fine, and hoped his friends on the ground wouldn't comment.

"your comms seem to be malfunctioning, i'll get saz on that asap, but are you sure-" poker seemed hesitant, like he didn't want to push buttons but was genuinely worried.

"fine, poker." shoe flipped the manual switch to cut comms with ground, before flipping it back on a moment later.

"still there?" he murmured, knowing full well there was at least twenty people besides eel who could hear him if they listened.

"never left, sweetheart." harvey almost started crying at the sound of eel's voice, and the knowledge of what he was going to say next.

"you gotta listen here, harv. you n' i both know i ain't gettin out of here alive-no, do not argue, i know you want to i know, sweetheart-you have to get home to charlie and fia, you gotta-" he swallowed, the sound audible through the headset. "you gotta tell them what happened to me, and tell them-"

the scream of a missile and the unmistakeable sound of an implosion blocked out eel's voice.

harvey's heart stopped.

"eel? eel, are you there? this is phan- phantom four to ra- raven two, are you-" the panic in his head and the pounding in his ears made it nearly impossible to see. he tried to breathe like eel taught him, but his throat seemed intent on making him stutter and practically asphyxiate.

"hoarder to shoe, what is going on? are you alright, do you need backup?" his friend sounded alarmed. for good reason, thought shoe through his panic.

"ground, i ne-i need co-ords on- on raven two, i-i've lost comms with-"

"ah, merde! harv, i'm here!" the sound of eel's voice was garbled, but it was there.

"eel? ezekiel cattaneo, where t-the hell are you? give me your coord-coordinates, i'll be right there." the relief that flooded shoe's body was instantaneous, but short lived.

"no time! they got my other engine, i've put them post on standby and i'm usin' the propellors, but they blasted those too. i think there's three MIGs, but it's hard to tell."

the sounds of the entire rest of the squadron and ground control trying to get shoe's attention faded as he absorbed the information his lover gave him.

"i know i'm goin out, so i'll say this before i die.

"harvey 'shoe' liam sellers, you are the most incredible and amazing soul i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. my life has been so much better since i had you in it, and i know charlie and fia can say the same. i need you to tell the kids i love them, and i need you to remember to take deep breaths when you get overwhelmed, okay? can you do that for me, tesoro?"

"ez, i-i-"

"i love you, you know that? you're the first man i've ever truly believed that i've loved, and the first to have loved me back." eel was clearly out of breath and choked up, but shoe could hear him as clearly as if he was standing next to him, despite the delay on the comms and the static overlaying eel's speech.

"zeke, ple- please, y-you gotta tell me whe- where you are, i can get th- there in t- time i promise, please-" harvey was sobbing. he knew he couldn't reach his lover in time before his engines failed completely, and the risk of hitting the canopy on ejection was so high there was such a slim chance of survival it was almost laughable, if shoe had felt like laughing.

"i love you, ok?" screaming missiles and static filled shoe's ears again.

he sat in shock.

"eel? c'mon, y- you c- can't do thi- this to me, baby, i-i can't..." silence and more static.

"g- ground, y-you got a- a locat- a location o -on raven two?" he muttered, his brain feeling like mush.

"negative, lieutenant."

[engineer-gunzelpunk]

This is an interesting topic, in regards to what the engines would have "really" sound like accent-wise. I was never keen on a West County accent for Duck, even before I knew that Duck was a variant on the Pannier that was was built in the UK, it felt affected.

I have been contemplating this for sometime with Henry, given his very uncertain origins.

The most popular and very likely plausible theory is that he was built at some dodgy locomotive chop shop unaligned with any particular railway but most likely sold to whoever would buy their product.

The unspoken implication is that his chop shop of origin is somewhere in the South, very likely London. But I sincerely doubt he would have gotten any of the finishing school-type behavior training Gordon and the other A1s, hell, all the other locos definitely would have received from the LNER (an idea i think @joezworld made mention of in one of his stories and here, which is a delightful and plausible idea).

The idea that a legitimate railway or well known locomotive workshop would buy plans stolen from the LNER is a bit far fetched. If the proposed loco had been a success, any loco spotter and industry expert worth their salt would have noticed the Gresley-ite features straight away, which would have been a scandal of epic proportions.

As it was, the wrong plans were stolen and Henry was a dismal failure of a locomotive, and given that Sir Topham Hatt was swindled by his fixer, its very likely it was a criminal shop, which makes Henry's origins very, very, very dark indeed, on top of all the other stuff he has had to suffer in canon (corporate espionage is what it is, which I think @ferlost took a stab at exploring with their wonderful fiction "Blueprints").

I have read some ideas that the shop may have been aligned with the LMS but that needs further exploration.

So what does that mean for what Henry is supposed to sound like?

I was never keen on the idea of making him sound posh, unless it was a desperate attempt on his part to make himself more like Gordon, which is a legit concept as many folks from very hardscrabble backgrounds will ape upper-class mannerisms, but at some point, their true accents and manners slip out if they have no received training. (There is a delightful demonstration of this in Battlestar Galactica where Gaius Balthar drops his posh Capran [recieved British] accent into his true Ariean i.e Yorkshireman accent so he could hide his lower class origins).

Many fan-dubs seem to emphasize that and have him be a toff continually, which sounds false.

(Or make him sound like Woody Allen, which is just... wrong on every conceivable level...)

Also, there was a bit of a message in Awdry's writing Henry into a Black Five that was unspoken but obvious to me: if he failed at being a pseudo-Gresleyite passenger locomotive, a delicate, fussy, patrician, high-maintenance machine, then he could be a superb true-blue Stanier Black Five, a rugged, powerful plebian workhorse of a thing, particularly the early 1935 riveted form he was built into. If his rebuild into a Black Five was making Henry into himself, then it was only natural that his origins were decidedly... not at all posh.

I was a fan of Michael Angelis' Liverpool accent for him during his run, especially in the final scene of "What's The Matter with Henry" when he sounds like a grumpy old Scouser, though probably not his origin, seems more authentic and gritty to him than a silly posh one. I've heard some Midlands versions in fan-dubs, which makes sense for an LMS origin but not necessarily a true or plausible one (definitely for James though, given his L&Y origins); again, seems right for him though not really his origin.

So I propose an original Cockney, Essex or Estuary accent for Henry heavily fading into Sudrian (which is basically Manx or Manx English) over time, possibly with Londoner inflections and words. A full on stereotypical Cockney would have been ridiculous, but a more working-class accent concealed beneath fake received posh which in of itself gave way to Sudrian (and lets face it, he's working fast goods a lot of the time, he's not interfacing with passengers unless he's replacing Gordon on the Express, he's interfacing with railway workers and dock workers... he's probably seen a lot of shit go down at Brendam and Knapford Harbour while waiting to pull the Kipper... and possibly at Manchester too... which is an idea I never see developed...

HENRY IS ON THE MAINLAND ON A REGULAR BASIS, WHETHER IT IS WEEKLY OR MONTHLY

He would have so much goss, so many contacts, a lot of friends/lovers over there... why is nothing done with this? Anyway... this is off topic).

If anyone else has canon evidence to the contrary that Henry would have some other accent, I would be happy to discuss. I would dearly love some evidence of his origins that are clearer than mud.

Fun fact: Emily the emerald engine has nothing to do with Scottish heritage, she only has a scottish accent because her creator is scottish?? And I find this pretty weird cause:

Gordon's creator is scottish, but Gordon does not have a scottish accent?

Edward has scottish heritage too, (I think.) Yet he does not have a scottish accent.

So the whole thing about Emily being scottish confuses me.

[oddaodd]

Alright I have a small idea for a fic with Alfie if you feel like writing it so Reader has been dating Alfie for a few months, everything is going well except he’s been hiding from her his actual job ( she thinks he’s actually a baker ) but the thing is he never lets her visit, he always has excuses and Reader being the curious little thing she is, just decides to pop up some day for absolutely no reason whatsoever which only make everyone shit themselves because hey the boss’ girl who was supposed to be kept far away is here and we’re gonna get our ass kicked 🙃 anywhooo she arrives and see that she is definitely not in a bakery and all the so called bakers are trying to get her out of here but she clearly sees all the alcohol and barges in her man’s office to demand an explanation. Alfie doesn’t know what to do and he’s scared that she’ll want to leave now that she knows he’s far from being a cute little grumpy baker but she’s just so disappointed because she actually thought he was a baker and she actually thought he could make all kind of cakes and stuff and she’s all pouting and upset because 🥺 you don’t actually know how to bake an apple pie 🥺 and he’s just FLABBERGASTED like he really thought she’d hate him and break up but no no no she’s only upset because he can’t cook for shit so he promises her to get her all the finest bakers in England and to always make sure she’s satisfied and he also promises to not hide anything from now on ( because she threatened him to stop cuddling with him and he just can’t risk it ) and everyone is happy lol that was long I’m sorry I just really can picture that in my head and I got carried away 🤭 keep up the amazing work though 💗💗

· The Best Pies In England ·

Warnings: none 

Author’s note: Thanks for requesting this, it was super cute to write! I hope you enjoy it and have the loveliest of days! ❤️🥰

·

When Y/n stepped into Alfie’s bakery all eyes were on her. Nobody just walked into that place with a smile and a confident stride.  Nobody knew what to do so all the “bakers” just stared in expectance.  

It wasn’t until Ollie approached her with wide eyes and a shaky voice “Miss Y/L/N, what are you doing here?” That panic struck the bakers. They all knew who she was and that she wasn’t meant to be there.

“I came to see Alfie” she smiled.

“Mr. Solomons isn’t here” one of the bakers blurted out earning an apprehensive glance from Ollie.

“But… I saw his car parked outside.”

As Ollie opened his mouth thinking of a witty, yet totally believable excuse Y/n noticed that fear was imprinted in the faces of all the men surrounding her and upon a closer look, she realized they weren’t actual bakers. There were a bunch of barrels and crates covered in canvases that Y/N was surprised she hadn’t seen upon entering, putting two and two together she realized there was no bakery.

“Where’s Alfie?” She asked a bit hurt at his lie.

“Miss Y/N” Ollie began as he tried to usher her outside, but Y/N ignored him and began hastily walking in the opposite direction trying to find Alfie, a worried ollie following close behind trying to get her to leave.

They reached an important looking door and without thinking about it twice y/n barged in. At the sound of his door opening Alfie stood up from his chair already wondering which toff he would have to deal with. His eyes however softened when he saw who It was behind the door.

“You lied to me”

Ollie was wise and stepped out of the room as y/n walked towards Alfie’s desk.

“You told me that you were a baker and that you could bake and…” her tone slightly hurt.

“Y/n...”  he began going around the desk to stand before her. “I can explain”

She just looked at him in confusion urging him to continue.

“The bakery is just a curtain” he admitted scared. He had never met someone like y/n and he didn’t want to loose her over a lie. Maybe if he was honest and begged for her forgiveness she would be willing to ignore his illegal doings and wouldn't leave him. 

Y/n looked into his eyes that were brimming with honesty. “So you don’t actually know how to bake an apple pie?”

Alfie shot up one of his eyebrows in surprise “is that what you’re concerned about?”

Y/n sighed and took a look at their surroundings. “Among other things..”

Alfie came closer to her and took her hands in his “Treacle, I hadn’t told you about all this because I got scared you might not want to be with me after you saw the kind of man I am.

Y/n was shocked at his confession. How could he ever think that?

“Ill always want to be with you” she reassured caressing his cheek before softly kissing him.

“But, You can’t lie to me again” she said parting from his lips.

“I promise”

“If you do, I’m gonna start sleeping in a different room and you’re gonna loose all your privileges with me... even cuddling”

I promise, pet...and I’ll find someone to bake you an apple pie, alright? The best in England.

· 

@nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime 

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! I know this is a kind of odd (and vague) request, but does anyone know of any good SFW crack fics? It’s been a stressful week so I’ve been looking for some utter ridiculousness to cheer me up (crossovers, crack AUs, anything!) thank you so much!

Here are a few I found for you, dear!

the best laid schemes by asideofourown (T)

There was a squeak by his foot, and Crowley cracked one eye open to see the rat from before sitting in front of him, clutching a small, tarnished key in its mouth. Crowley blinked.

“Huh,” he said. He was used to his schemes coming back to bite him in the ass, but this was the first time something demonic he had done seemed like it would actually end up helping him. The rat squeaked and then scurried up his arm, depositing the key to his manacles into his hand before returning to the floor.

“Well,” Crowley murmured, a plan forming in his mind as his fingers curled around the key. He snapped his fingers, freeing himself with a miracle, and collapsed with a grateful sigh to sit properly on the floor. “Now,” he said, looking at the rat in front of him with a sharp smile. “How many friends might you have on this ship?”

[Over the years, Crowley's made some furry friends. Having an army of rats comes in handy, sometimes]

Blame It on the Goose by almaasi (G)

Village shenanigans AU where neighbours Aziraphale and Crowley are given the runaround by a particularly rude goose.

Or:

When Anthony J. Crowley moves to a pleasant English village, he expects to begin a peaceful life, gardening and minding his own business. He pretends not to notice his new neighbour, some flamboyant toff named Azira-something, who seems to do nothing but eat, and illustrate birds. But there’s a horrible goose on the loose, and it and its friends are causing a disturbing amount of havoc. Stealing shoes, squashing flowers, unlocking gates, tangling hosepipes... and sending Crowley out of the house with no clothes on in the middle of the night to borrow some underpants from the aforementioned neighbour. The entire population of Lower Tadfield is in uproar over these innocent-looking monsters. Something must be done! If Aziraphale and Crowley have to team up to defeat a gaggle of psychotic geese, so be it. And if they happen to like each other more than expected, so be that, too. What good is a peaceful life without a dear friend, anyhow?

Dear Raphael by asideofourown (T)

The thing was, even after Crowley Fell, Heaven forgot to delete his login to their system.

The only half interesting thing he had ever found in Heaven’s archives was their newspaper, even though it was a dreadfully dull rag. But even then, Crowley was never inspired to truly interfere with the Celestial Observer’s contents until the late 1600s, when advice columns were invented on Earth.

As always, brilliant inspiration struck him like… like whatever inspiration strikes like. So Crowley resolved to meddle, just as a side project. Maybe if he got enough angels heated at each other, he could report it as a victory to Hell. Anyway, Dagon had always liked gossip, and the Celestial Observer’s new advice column was a ready source of that.

It was pure genius.

[Crowley, demon of Hell, becomes Heaven's foremost advice columnist]

“Little old lady on the floor below” by Mischievous_Misfit (G)

"I headcanon that he helps the little old lady downstairs with her groceries and the like but that if anyone asks about it he just lies. She knows he's not human and removes all the religious stuff from her house to make him more comfortable. It isn't until she says something about having to hide her garlic away that he realizes she thinks he's a vampire."

This is fic based off of @KillHitlerAgain headcanon on tumblr. I saw it and just knew I had to write it out. Hope you enjoy!

Feel free to add on with your own recs!

~Mod P

[toffyrats]

toff makes newsies content alert alert 🚨

hi guys ok context for this story (?) basically i was reading abt the donner party like a month ago and then i wanted to do a little character study ish thing w modern au newsies, but then like a quarter of it ended up being abt the donner party so. atleast i have something to feed my newsies followers with. yeah? yeah.

so tw for like. kinda weird mentions including death, cannibalism and so on n so forth. it’s not yk awful YOU KNOW WHAT i’m making this seem a lot more about the donner party than it actually is let’s just move on.

there’s some redfinch, ralbert (but its one sided ofc) and kinda implied javid? ? also kath n sarah hate eachother (for now). again its a character study but all of them so no single pov but cmon its me so its kinda albert centric. ok this is getting long lets begin

     “the donner party is sooo boring,” race groaned from where he was sitting with crutchie on a beanbag. “who cares about a whole bunch’a dead guys in a wagon?”

     “i find it interesting,” crutchie put in. “really emphasizes the human instinct to survive.”

     albert shook his head in disgust. “i would never eat another human. sounds gross.”

     “if you went that long without food, you would,” crutchie replied matter-of-factly. 

     “what was the point of all that, then?” race grumbled. “pretty much all of ‘em starved anyway. they coulda gotten off easier without eatin’ eachother.” he practically threw his book across the room into albert’s hands. “i’d rather starve than eat another person.”

     “they weren’t right in the head,” jack explained, not looking up from his book. “they were so hungry, they probably became demented.”

     “humans are animals,” crutchie added.

     albert snorted. “great job, crutch. want a medal?” 

     “no, i mean- no matter what, driven by hunger, thirst or exposure, we’re gonna try to live. even if that means eating our friends.”

     “ehh, i dunno.” jack tapped a finger on the top of his book. “i think i might be with william hook on this one. rather die from eatin’ too much than eatin’ too little.”

     albert leaned back in his chair, the front legs lifting up off the floor. “i don’t even think eatin’ people was the problem,” he mumbled. “if the reed guy didn’t take the stupid shortcut, they all woulda survived.”

     “man, if only,” race cut him off. “then they wouldn’t be in the history books at all and we wouldn’t hafta be crammin’ for the test right now.”

     “yeah, ‘we’ as in ‘not you’, race.” albert waved his friend’s book above his head. “i still have your book. we’s the only people studyin’.” 

     race opened his mouth to say something back when the door to the room opened and katherine walked in.

     “oh!” she seemed taken aback. “hi, guys! didn’t know you were in here.” she took a few steps in their general direction and stopped. “wait, are you supposed to be in here?”

     the four boys glanced around at eachother and shrugged almost in unison.

     “sorta,” albert said finally. “we’s technically supposed ta be in gym, but coach said we could study since we got a test tomorrow.”

     katherine gave an exasperated sigh and turned her course to the filing cabinet in the corner of the room. “nobody ever uses this room. you couldn’t have just stayed in the gym?”

     “gym’s awful.” crutchie shook his head. “well, i mean- for me, anyways.”

     katherine nodded in understanding, opening a cabinet starting to go through it. “you guys meet the new kid yet?”

     race immediately perked up. “there’s a new kid? no wa-“ 

     “you wouldn’t like him,” katherine deadpanned.

     “oh.” race’s face fell. 

     “well, what’s he like?” jack asked curiously, finally putting his book down.

     “quiet, reserved… uh, he’s kinda preppy looking-“

     “ew, yeah, okay, cut it right there.” race made a face and waved his hand infront of his face, making a ‘stop’ gesture. 

     “he sounds almost as boring as the donner party,” albert groaned.

     katherine shrugged, turning back to the file cabinet. “i like him.”

     “of course you do.” jack smiled and shook his head. “he seems like your typa guy.”

     “and of course you’re the only one that cares,” race smirked.

     katherine pinched the bridge of her nose with a long sigh. “race, please.”

     race threw his hands up in mock innocence. “hey, hey! i’m just sayin’!”

     crutchie closed his book and held his head in his hands, rubbing his forehead. “race, have you forgotten the only reason they broke up in the first place?” 

     “yeessss, crutchie, i know,” race forced out. “does this kid have a sister or somethin’?”

     katherine hesitated. “yes, he does.” her voice was curt, and she sounded like she didn’t want to further the discussion. 

     unfortunately, race was never good at picking up on other’s emotions. “what’s her name?”

      jack glared at him, but katherine spoke before race could figure out a way to deflect the blame somehow. “sarah. sarah jacobs.” 

     “jacobs, huh? what’s th’ guy’s name?” jack asked, diverting the subject.

     “david,” katherine sighed out, relieved. “you should talk to him, when you can. maybe not al and race, but-“

     “yeah, definitely not al and race,” albert said quickly, and race nodded in silent agreement. 

     jack suddenly got up and cracked his back, then his neck, then every single knuckle before finally saying, “alrighty then, me an’ crutch’ll go find ‘im. he should jus’ be in gym, yeah?”

     race stared at him with a blank expression. “how is even getting up out of a chair an entire process for you?” he asked finally, and albert snickered. 

     jack shot yet another glare in race’s general direction as he turned to help crutchie up. “you sure you don’t wanna come?” he asked when the shorter boy was successfully up on his feet. 

     “positive,” albert hummed. katherine gave a triumphant shout and pulled out a single paper from the cabinet. 

     “what’s that?” race pressed, curious as ever. 

     “oh, just a little list- it’s for the school newspaper.” she shrugged and glanced quickly between the four boys. ”i have to give it tooo…” she scanned the paper quickly for a name. “…finch cortes. i don’t assume any of you know what class he has right n-“

     “physics, room 203,” albert answered immediately, before katherine could even fully finish. “i mean- i think. how would i know?” the front legs of his chair hit the ground with a loud bang as he looked down at his lap, his face heating up. “it’s on the second floor,” he added quietly, fast enough that it almost sounded like one word.

      crutchie smiled and ruffled albert’s hair playfully. “don’t worry, you can trust red on his finch factopedia,” he assured katherine, and albert swatted his hand off of his head with a sharp scowl. 

     “ooohhkay then,” katherine nodded slowly, her eyes narrowing like she didn’t quite get what was going on. “well, i’ll go find him, then. thanks, albert, i’ll tell him you said hi.” 

     “wait- no!” albert desperately tried to stop her, but she was already out the door. 

     nobody could really understand how katherine’s brain worked. it was as if she were a machine, and anything you tell her to do, she will or won’t without any wavering decision- and she was notoriously bad at reading between the lines.

     “welp, we’d better get goin’,” jack said quickly, and crutchie agreed. 

     “no, wait! no, please! don’t leave me with him!” albert pleaded as he watched jack saunter out the door, eager as ever to meet a possible new acquaintance. crutchie pivoted and shot a sympathetic glance in albert’s direction. “sorry, al. you’re stuck wit’ him.”

     “to most, being stuck with me is a good thing!” race reassured albert mockingly, draping his arms around his friend’s shoulders. 

     and then it was just race and albert. and for some odd reason, it was a lot more awkward than usual, and the air cracked with an unusual tension.

     “so… you an’ finch, huh?” race asked after a moment, a crooked grin creeping onto his face. 

     albert shook his head quickly and wrung his hands nervously. “no, no,- it’s- not like i got a crush on ‘im or anythin’, i… it’s this brain of mine, the adhd, it, uh, chooses to fixate on the dumbest people at the most inconvenient times…” his voice trailed off, his unfocused eyes coming to rest on race. 

     his mind began to wander, his thoughts turning to static before they could even front. he shrugged it off- something he had gotten used to by now-and looked away. “you get what i mean.” 

     “i mean… i guess.” just the tone in race’s response let albert know he didn’t at all get what he meant. 

     just then, the bell rang, loud and steady, startling both boys out of the uncomfortable silence they had fallen into. 

     “saved by the bell,” race chuckled, stuffing his books into his backpack. he pointed at albert forcefully as he turned to leave. “don’t think ya got off easy, though. i still wanna know all about this fling wit’ you an’ birdie.”

     albert groaned loudly in response and flung his backpack over his shoulder lazily, hearing race talking to himself about albert cortes, finch dasilva, and a few other things in italian that albert couldn’t understand a word of.

     albert knew he wasn’t off the hook, he didn’t need race of all people telling him that. but he also knew that finch was in his last class, and maybe-for once- he wouldn’t be all sweaty and gross after gym and too self-conscious to even try to sit near him.

     no, he did not have a crush on him.

     he loved race, and no matter how much he wished for it to, it was never going to change. but maybe finch would take his mind off of it.

     no, albert is not thinking about that right now!

TEEHEE HOPE YOU ENJOYED please speak to me in the tags tell me what you liked and didn’t and whatever also yes ik crutchie would use a wheelchair in a modern setting but i dont even know how those work so yeah not touching thag until i do more research

[mxpseudonym]

Everything There Is

Pairing: Tommy x OC

Summary: Florence and Tommy are in this together.

Request: “Hi! Can you do a Tommy x oc or reader as his wife in an arranged marriage where she is also a business woman and their marriage was a sort of contract and their relationship is mainly professional apart from sex n all, and Tommy comes home all worn out and she asks him to share with her and tommy is reluctant but she assures and reminds him that she is capable of protecting the family, Charlie and Tommy too. And then they just kiss and Tommy leans into her or something. Thank you!!” 

Length: 1650 words (allegedly)

Warnings: Underlying tones of forced/arranged marriage

A/N: Hello sweet, tender anon. This was a joy to write, especially Charlie 🥺. What a sweet angel.

--

Florence Heywood had been meeting with Tommy for two years about his investments. At first, Shelby Company Ltd simply needed advice from her property management company about renting and leasing. However, Florence and Tommy quickly found they were both as ambitious and calculating as the other. Unlike her other clients, Tommy didn't gaff at her suggestions of overseas ventures or buying big. It was a joyous union. Even Florence's mother didn't understand her dedication to the company. However, it was the senior Mrs. Heywood's father, who left the business to his granddaughter.  

"Don't you have enough, dear? You've come so far, not just as a woman, but as a business owner," her mother said after being told that grandchildren were not a priority. Florence wanted more. She was a modern woman who craved a legacy and a family name that honored her grandfather's work. 

"Enough of that," Tommy said, sliding a few signed documents into a folder before turning to her. "I told you to stop being so easy to read. Now, what's wrong?" 

Florence rolled her eyes but was thankful when Tommy went to pour them some whiskey. The upside to meeting at Tommy's home was that the rules were nonexistent. She didn't even have to leave her shoes on.

"My mother wants me to get married soon, probably have kids," she groaned. "She's set me up to go to the pictures with a banker on Friday."

"Isn't that what most women want?" Tommy walked over and handed her a glass of amber liquid. 

"You'd be surprised," Florence said, then sighed. "I'm just scared." 

"Florence Heywood is scared of something? Hard to believe." Tommy shook his head. 

"My grandfather left me his business when it was just one tiny office on Victoria Street. He put everything he had into it to make something of our name and pass something on. What if some prick weasels his way in and ruins it all? It’ll be his to gamble away. Or starts mistreating my employees. It's the stuff of nightmares." She shivered and looked to Tommy, who nodded in understanding. 

"We Shelby's want to do the same thing. Work hard enough to have what the toffs do- the opportunities and good fortune. My brothers and I fought side by side with those fuckers in the war. We get the shell shock, blow our bloody brains out, fuckin' live with demons, don't we? But they got everything, and we got nothing. Nothing changed." Tommy said. Florence was surprised to hear him talk with her like this but certainly didn't stop him. "But I have my family and my son. Anything less than success is unacceptable. You're right to be critical. You've got to know who's on your side." 

"Easier said than done," she mumbled. "How is Charlie, by the way?"

"He's with his tutor now. Won't stop talking about that train set you told him about last time," Tommy chuckled. Florence's grandfather's spare room that had the most extensive train set she'd seen. She was happy to tell Charlie all about it, but now he was intrigued.

"I'll happily take the blame."

"Hope you've got something planned to remedy this in the near future."

"I will talk to Father Christmas," Florence offered with a laugh. She sighed and thought of all of what Tommy has worked for and her as well. "You know what, Tommy? You and I are doing it. We're making a name for ourselves. Even when no one understands what we want, we have a vision." Tommy smirked, noticing that the strong drink was already making her eyes a bit glossy.

"And what is it that we want?" He asked. She raised her glass and motioned for him to do the same.

"Everything there is." 

In life, Tommy wasn’t often surprised. Sure he was blind sided now and again, but his cynical nature taught him to expect the worst. A few weeks after his optimistic toast with her, Florence arranged a meeting on the grounds of having a new venture for him that would challenge his ability to be two steps ahead. The last thing he expected was a marriage contract. Like any other venture, she laid out the facts, including Tommy needing to do something good for his image as a new politician. 

"This is really...something." Tommy looked over her detailed work in a slight daze. 

"I know, and please don't think I take this lightly. I'm just thinking about Shelby Company Ltd and Heywood Capital, establishing a bloody empire," Florence explained. Tommy could see the stars in her eyes as she thought about the possibilities. It was her promise that locked him in, however.  

"Tommy Shelby, I will protect you if you will protect me. That's as good as any marriage, isn't it?"  

Tommy thought about it for a few days. Florence Heywood, a woman he'd call his friend and one of the savviest people he knew, wanted to get married in the name of a legacy. He could hardly believe it when he picked up the phone and called her office.

"Everything there is, eh?"

It took several hours of negotiation, a prenuptial agreement, and the presence of a lawyer. Still, in the end, he said yes. 

For a while, the Shelby's referred to Florence in the form of the question, "isn't she that woman who manages Tommy's properties?" And Mrs. Heywood gave Florence an earful for getting engaged without ever bringing Tommy around for tea. But after a bumpy start, the rest went rather seamlessly.

One year later, Florence was sitting in her own lovely office in Arrow House with Charlie on her lap. She hadn't planned on reading to Charlie every night, but Charlie would sooner sneak out of bed in his pajamas and ambush her in her office than miss her reading to him. And he did. 

"Both parties should review the completed document carefully to ensure that all relevant deal points have been included," Florence read softly. Charlie was nearing a deep sleep, so Alice in Wonderland was sneakily replaced by the contracts she was in the middle of reviewing.  

When she heard the front door close, she stopped to check her watch. It was a quarter past 9 PM already. She followed the sound of Tommy's footsteps going up the stairs then quickly descending moments later. He was panicked, she could tell. If not from his steps, from the way he burst into her office. 

"Sh!" Florence placed a finger to her lips. Tommy let out a breath of relief as he ran a hand through his hair. Tommy came over and placed a hand on Charlie's head, then a kiss to his forehead. Florence was surprised she received one as well.

"He couldn't sleep?" Tommy asked quietly, eyes looking to the papers in her hand.

"He wouldn't allow it without a story. Tonight's is Once Upon a Time There Was A Walk-Up in Camden Town," she mused then pressed her own kiss to Charlie's head. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's fine."

"Is it fine, or is it nothing?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"It's," Tommy sighed once again, thinking about his day, his week even. The Russians, the Irish,  hell, Arthur, and fucking Linda. Christ. 

"Tommy," Florence's voice cut through the smoke and mud, bringing him back into the present. She stood smoothly, expertly shifting Charlie to her hip. "I know you're stressed. I just want to remind you that we promised to protect each other, right? Whatever it is, we figure it out together."

Tommy reached up and cupped her cheek.

"You're right, we promised. I promised." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. It took everything for Florence to remind herself that there was no place for weak knees when holding her child. "Let's put him to bed, and I'll tell you it all, Mrs. Shelby."

--

Tommy Tag List: @soleil-dor; @amysteryspot

[druidx]

OCs - Who the hell is: Sophie Aderyn Williams (Griffiths)

(A short Original Character primer)

Universe

TES IV: Oblivion (Modern AU)

What does she look like?

Aderyn is pretty short, around 5'5" (165cm) and almost chronically underfed (100lb/ 45kg). She has a very pale complexion and auburn hair thanks to her Celtic blood. She dresses in comfortable but classic clothes (rollneck sweaters, "boyfriend cut" jeans).

What's she like?

Aderyn has a lot of smarts, a lot of intuitive logical ability (which helps in her work with GreyFox Securities), but little-to-none common sense. She's bright and chirpy, oftentimes in defiance of circumstance. She's very much the "push forward and don't look back" type. Technically homeless by choice, as she lives in her car. Asexual. Smokes. Doesn't know the meaning of the term "excessive cursing". Legal name is Sophie Williams, but goes by Aderyn Griffiths.

Who are the main important people in their life?

Modryn Oreyn – Uncle, and leading father-figure

The Grey Fox – Primary Employer

Unnamed – Mother

Medrethel & Amusei – Co-workers at GreyFox Securities

(this is prior to the Novelization of the MQ)

Can you give us a highlight reel of their life?

Attends standard Secondary school in a rough part of Southampton

Gets in with the "wrong" crowd.

Dad leaves.

Scrapes by in her GCSEs, attends community college, things keep going south

Smoking, trying drugs, shoplifting, underage drinking, all that bad stuff

Breaks into the estate of some rich toff, gets caught. The owner of the house asks her a bunch of questions about how the hell she got in while the cops are en route. When they show up, tells them he's not pressing charges, tells Aderyn to expect a call from a "friend" with a job offer.

Starts working for GreyFox Securities

Meets Baurus, Jauffre and misc other Blades while working on a job to fake-assassinate Geldall Septim.

Winds up in jail again, due to a mix-up while on a job. Starts the MQ.

What points in their life are you writing about?

From the novelization of Oblivion's Main Quest and on.

Who are they in real-world development terms?

When I was heavily hinted at to do a Modern AU, I needed a new Hero of Kvatch to complicate insert into Martin & Baurus' lives. Sophie Williams rocked on into my head to chew out Martin about having the Mysterium Xarxies in his and Baurus' home. Then later Aderyn Griffiths turned up to cuss out Baurus. They were essentially the same character, but I couldn't decide on what name I liked best, so she got two.

[rayslittlekitten]

Ok, I'm in our inbox because I can't help myself. Toff Girl is so great (I must catch up on some reblogs for that fic) I want to know everything you're willing to share about what you have so far.

I am overwhelmed by all the reblogs and comments 😭 Thank you so much for loving that series! I will address each and every one of them when I have the time. As for new stuff, I have a few ideas, but ultimately, I am gunning for them to have their happily ever after. There were some very cliched possibilities but it didn't make sense for them. I, as the writer, am negotiating with Mickey to figure this all out, but the next chapter is all about Ray and his feelings in all this. Very similar style to "Breathe Again" but in his POV and it gives me the opportunity to really dive deep and explore what's going on in his head and how he's been dealing with all this. Thought about also exploring a bit of domdrop which I am not super knowledgeable about. I may have shared some of this before, but if so, here it is again:. Also, thank you for this ask because I found a HUGE chunk of text I don't ever remember writing and it's GOLD! I apparently wrote two different versions and I am picking out my favorite parts and marrying them together as we speak. Here is a preview:

Many times, things got steamy and delightfully playful - and painful, in the bedroom, but occasionally, Ray was the most gentle lover and those were the times you didn’t brat out. You were more than just a good kitten for him. Those were the times Ray needed it the most when he needed reassurance. Sometimes he needed tenderness, especially on days he witnessed or participated in violence. It didn't happen often, but it still affected him when he did. Despite all the impact and punishment he loved doling on you, he didn’t enjoy actually hurting anyone, but he understood sometimes it came with the job when necessary. “Come sit,” he patted his thigh. You got up from your kneeling position and straddled his lap. He wrapped his arms around your naked torso and held you close, rocking you a bit. He buried his face into the top of your chest, inhaling your scent. He found it comforting.You reached up and stroked his hair and back of his head. The tips of your manicured fingers softly dug into his scalp and gently massaged it. Ray took in a sharp breath as he held you tighter. He must have had a particularly bad day. He never let you in on details so you never asked but when he was this needy, you knew he needed some extra tender love and care. He pulled back when you did and he looked up at you as you cradled his face in your hands. His eyes told you everything you needed to know, how he felt. You started planting little butterfly kisses on his face. “Are you okay?” you asked quietly. “I already hurt someone today. I don’t want to hurt you too,” he answered. “You know you never actually hurt me, right? I want it,” you told him, pulling back to look at his defeated face. “You’re a good person,” you assured him, cupping his face. “You know that, right?” “Am I really? Some days it’s hard for me to see that,” he answered, looking back at you with sad eyes. “Oh, Ray…” These were the times where you knew he needed you as a girlfriend and not a sub, where he allowed himself to be vulnerable and you were the one to hold his hand and lead him instead. Sometimes he needed a reminder of who he was. You caressed his face and he leaned into your soft hand with his eyes closed. He gripped your hand and turned his head to kiss the inside of your palm. You kissed his forehead and pulled him into a tight hug again. You held each other for a while in silence as you continued to stroke his hair and back. “I don’t now what happened today, but you’re a good man, Ray. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be with you,” you reassured him. He then pulled back and looked up at you. He hesitated at first but he nodded and flashed a small smile. His eyes wandered down to your neck and your collar reminded him that not just do you belong to him, but that you chose him. You were the key to this relationship. He may be the dominant one but ultimately the submissive is the one who makes or breaks the dynamic. He guided you, but you taught him how. You had as much control as he did and you did so by relinquishing yours. You trusted him implicitly and that is something he kept closet to his heart.

[tobi-tobi-tobi]

I have been iNfoRmeD thaT a bRitiSh chOcOLatEs poSt iS useFuLL anD aS somEwhAt oF an eXpErt I shAll hapPily obLigE (not at all an expert just eat a lot :)

Righty let’s start shall we - CADBURYS - probably the biggest chocolate brand in the uk it has loadS of chocolate bars (also just looked on Wikipedia anddddd Cadbury seems to be EVERYWHERE so I’ll just go through some of the things that they do that are most popular)

Dairy milk MMMMMMMM YUM

Most famous probably - just a solid plain old milk chocolate bar tAsTes blooming brilliant tho

They also do loads of flavours of this bar but I’m not going to go into all that

Crunchie - again YUM

It’s a honeycomb thingy coated in chocolate and it’s sO sweet but AMAZING DJDJ and yeah that’s a crunchie

CURLY WURLY djejieie yEs

It’s all WIGGLY and some sorta toffe caramel thing coated in chocolate and tastes UGEJJE and it gets stuck in your teeth and JDJDJD yup

FReddo is a frog bar that tastes fab

Then what else do we have hmmmm OH YES

Double deckers - not a huge fan but if I’m given one I’m not about to turn it down

Also I doNt really know what’s in it only that it’s sugar and it tastes damn good (some sorta marshmallow I think)

Flake - loVe (not as good as a twirl coS it goes EVERYWHERE but still delicious)

Then there is aaaa tWIRL MY FAVOURITE CADBURY ITEM IT IS JUST *chefs kiss*

And yEs its basically a flake coated in chocolate but IT TASTES SO MUCH BETTER OK

And last of the Cadbury bunch there is a wispa - Y U M

It’s a chunky bar with teeny tiny little bubbles in it MMMMMM

Right what else do we have oh yes the bounty

Right the bounty is HORRID (I know some people HATE IT and some people LOVE IT it’s a bit like marmite actually)

WHO IN THERE RIGHT MIND PUTS COCONUT IN A CHOCOLATE BAR HUH? The bits get in your teeth and it’s just HFJDJDJDJ RUBBISH

Lets move swiftly on shaLL WE

The MILKYBAR! - its a white chocolate bar and tastes sickly but blooming fantastic at the same time

Oh yeah and there is this little cowboy guy on the front too :)

There is a Twix AND HOW HAVE I ALREADY HIT THE TEN PICTURE LIMIT IVE ONLY JUST STARTED DJDJJ IMMA HAVE YO JUST EXPLAIN THEM THEN SHALL I TUMBLR DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Twix is caramel biscuit and chocolate in a gold wrapper (delicious and popular)

Snickers is nutty and caramel and chocolate and biscuit and I don’t like but it is also popular in a brown wrapper

OH AND I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT THERE IS NO KNOWLEDGE OF ZE MALTESERS and that is *bows head* unfortunate but they are little round biscuity things coated in chocolate and they melt in your mouth

Ummm whAt else oooH

Aero and mint aero they are bubbly chocolate bars and I don’t like the mint buuuut they good

AND THEN LASTLY COS THIS POST IS ALREADY TOO LONG NO HANG ON A SECOND I FORGOT CHOCOLATE BUTTONS THEY ARE SMALL BUTTON SHAPED PEICES OF CHOCOLATE AND THEY ARE WHITE OR MILK CHOCOLATE AND DO A GOOGLE COS I CANT SHOW YOU THANKS TO TUMBLR

FINALLY WE HAVE TJE HOLY GRAIL OF ALL CHOCOLATES THE WONDEFUL THE AMAZING THE JUST PERFECTION OF THE GALAXY CHOCOLATE BAR ITS JUST SO SMOOTH AND HEAVENLY ANS DHSJ UGH THAT ANS A CUP OF TEA DHJDJDKD YES YES PLEASE

AND THERE YOU HAVE SOME OF THE GREAT BRITISH CHOCOLARE BARS AND UNFORTUNATELY I COULDNT INCLUDE A PICTURE OF ALL OF THEM BUT YES HOPW THAT HELPED WRITING OR SOMETHING ELSE YOU MIGHT NEED IT FOR - TUMBLR IS FULL OF RANDOM USELESS STUFF SO I THOUGHT ID ADD SOME MORE

@thatsmartidiot24

(Feel free to add to the list anyone who wants to :)

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

I'm going to bed soon, but I just want to say (as an adult that dropped outta college and then went back) that your education is not final. It's not be all end all.

It'll hurt for a while, everythin hurts for a bit, but either you'll tell her or you won't, and that's okay. Your choices are for you, and we all care about you man. You're not stupid for jus like? feelin feelins. All that shits totally normal and valid but you hafta stick with life nd with us or whoever you ends up spending life with. I can't help much nd I ain't gonna pretend I can (<- on the aroace spectrums) with the whole love thing, but jus know that it's ALWAYS better to write your thoughts out then keep em inside. That way you can come back later and look at them nd see your thought processes nd stuff. Or you can write em out nd delete it if that helps.

Life might suck right now, but it ain't gonna suck forever. The only way that it WILL suck forever is if it's cut short, so don't let that happen, y'know? If life tries to kick you down, throw mfing hands and take your time and get back up when you can. It don't matter when you do, just that you do at all.

I dunno. I dunno if this helps, but I'm jus tryin to say that you're not alone and youse cared about nd also jesus christ my typing style help god please not the newsies the infection (/lh). Stay safe man. - Jack

fuckyou im sobbing now/lh

i just

i grew up being taught that showing any emotion besides Happy or Neutral is Bad!™️ so its really difficult for me to like

deal with anything? because i was taught to push feelings down and stick it out, and my parents have made it all worse by never showing emotion either. i didnt see my dad cry in front of me until i was fourteen, and the only time ive seen my mom cry was when i got a bad grade, so its all fun and games here. and my pa is literally bashitbonkersoutthewazzoo. like he's a conservative (we live in the south us for context so its even Worse!) and he taught me to shoot a gun at the ripe age of three! and theres a gun in every room and he's a. he reveres ben shapiro and jesse kelly and those guys, and i spent the entire quarantine listening to him talk abt how the election was faked and how covid was either fake or brought by the chinese (he couldnt decide) and hes severly racist!!! yippee!!/s so feelings arent a big thing in my house.

added onto the fact that i was raised christian? the first time i looked at a girl differently, or the first time i realized how uncomfortable i was jn my own body was horrifying to me. im atheist (ish? it's complicated) now so it doesnt matter to me, but i still have all that internalized crap abt liking her.

and i have severe pain in both of my knees like literally 24/7 and ive had it for YEAAARS but my ma didnt believe me until super recently and so i only just got an appointment with an orthopedic doctor! because the first general doctor told me i was faking it<3

and!!!!!!! the real fukcing kicker!!!! my parents have blatantly refused to pay for my education!!!!!!! like outright and several times!!!!!! only because i wanna get my bachelors in fine arts in theater!!!! they said it was a stupid degree and that i would get nowhere<3 so ive got that ahead of me too. and the last time i got a bad grade, i got grounded for two months. and it was a 79.5 on a minor quiz.

so we have fun here.

but i have all these plans!!! and dreams!!!! and places i want to go to and food i want to eat and languages i wanna learn!!! so i know that i'm not gonna off myself, but sometimes.

sometimes it seems reaaaally tempting.

but i really genuinely appreciate you, and riff, and toff, and dave, because you guys are so much nicer and more sympathetic than anyone i know irl.

so like.

love you/p <3