#so i said that i'm trans and haven't changed my name legally

[purple-is-great]

i'm at grandma's for christmas as are my aunt and her family, so like every time we see i ended up in an incredibly sprawling conversation with my godfather (aunt's husband and father of my cousins, has been considered a part of the family for longer than i've been alive) that went from what i'm studying to politics and to somewhere in between and everywhere else

but anyway, we got to talking about slurs as often happens and i almost used the Finnish word hintti as an example of why I think white people saying the n-word is bad even when they're quoting stuff. It's basically a Finnish equivalent to faggot. A nasty slur and not something I've heard reclaimed without a lot of humour or political spite surrounding it. It's also what happens very easily when a Finnish speaker tries to adapt the English word hint to fit the Finnish language. So I almost went "Dad says it sometimes when we're playing board games and I sort of instinctually flinch a bit every time" until I remembered that he doesn't technically know I'm bi and I'm not sure if I want to tell him at 11.30 the night before Christmas. I'm sure he'd be completely supportive but I want to do it all the way, mention my gender too and that requires a bit more thinking

[storyinmypocket]

The title should've read transmasc, but now it won't let me change it. Bother.

Anyway, pretty much what it says on the tin. I haven't felt safe living where I do for Some Time Now, and I have a great opportunity to move somewhere better, but I don't currently have the money for a cross-country move.

As things stand, I'd rather not pay rent on a room I'm not occupying while I save up moving money, but if that's the only option, that's what I'll do, because it's more or less impossible to find rent this good in the Bay Area. It just won't make me any safer in the short term, and not getting medical treatment because I feel unsafe around the medical transportation folks isn't a great long-term strategy.

While I can't offer incentives to donate on the GoFundMe site, I'm happy to offer 3-card tarot readings for every donation of $10 or more, 5-card readings for $15 or more, and bigger and more complicated readings for anything $30 and above, so long as you're not asking for a relationship spread for your 7-person polycule. (If you really want polycule readings, donate over $100 and we'll talk, but for anything more than a triad, readings get exponentially more complicated.) I have multiple queer/BIPOC-friendly decks, and one that is aggressively body-positive. If you're looking for a specific vibe, let me know, because I can probably at least get close to what you're looking for, deck-wise. (I also have a couple of decks that differ from the standard tarot template, like the Normal Tarot and the Alleyman's Tarot.)

I would really love to live somewhere with IRL community and public transportation and not feeling like the only trans person for miles. That said, if you stumble across a fundraiser for someone who needs food or rent Right The Fuck Now, please donate to them instead... but also please consider giving this a reblog if you can't toss any money my way.

Thanks, everybody.

[red-hibiscus]

I am legally male in one country and female in another. DIY legally non-binary

Long story short:

Changed my gender in my birth country cause I was already at the embassy to change my name, but I still haven't legally changed my gender here in the states.

So I keep forgetting to change my gender in the US cause it only really affects medical stuff, and not in a way that's difficult to deal with. Just in the awkward "oh yeah I'm a trans guy" convos. I have other things to think about.

However I needed to change my Costa Rican passport to my current US legal name. So I went to the embassy and they asked "so male yes?" And I of course said "yes". They clicked a button and done. The embassy had never helped someone change their legal gender before, but it did work out and my gender was legally changed to male.

So now I'm legally male in my birth country and still female in the US. I am actually non-binary (though on the masc spectrum). So in a weird way I'd like to think of this as me being legally non-binary.

[symphonic-scream]

Hey guess what

More details for the Shadow Twins au

(P5 au where Makoto and Goro, as twins, are Shadow OPS, Niijima siblings raised by NaoRise)

I worked out the thieves! And the palace order!

The first two remain the same. Kamoshida and Madarame happen pretty much as it does originally, but around school there's talk of those "really smart third years" or something

Palace three is where things change. In game, it's Kaneshiro. Here? It's Okumura. He lives! But he mentions seeing the "Black Masks" and feeling threatened, fearing for his life at the time. Anyways this means Haru is the fifth party member instead of Makoto

Futaba's remains the same, but then in place of Okumura, theres a palace for Hifumi's mother. Togo palace! I'm working it out but yeah Hifumi joins after Futaba

This is where things change a lot more. The next palace would be Saw normally, but that's not happening when she's a defense attorney. The investigator here? Zenkichi Hasegawa. He's the one interviewing the Wild Cards the whole time. He's been hunting down the duo responsible for everything, and at one point, he gets a little, less legal with his investigations

He goes after Makoto and Goro. He presses Sae for info, why the went back to Shujin if they've already graduated, isn't the timing funny? You wouldn't want your job put at risk should this come out, right? Naoto goes to "set things straight" with him after, and he lays off. But, the twins are concerned. They don't want their family to suffer or lose their jobs protecting them from something they didn't do

So? They finally contact the thieves. After explaining what they are and that they aren't killing people, they ask for help. They want Hasegawa's heart stolen, and they haven't done one themselves. Changes of heart in mementos? Old news. But Palace stuff? They don't want to mess up. So, they make a deal with the Thieves to get this done in exchange for helping clear their name through Kirijo's network

Then it's Shido and then the YaBoi stuff. But, after that, in the third semester? Instead of the Maruki deal there's another new spot in Mementos. Beneath the Holy Grail. The thieves and Ops enter a train car, go down a tunnel, and at the other end? The levels start going up.

Cause they have to fight Nyx again the seal was broken by Yalbasshole when he swiped Minato and Minako to be his pieces in the game with Igor (Igor's wildcards are Akira and Ren)

So there's that! Akira would be transfem, and Ren would have a slow burn romance with Goro that comes to a head on Christmas, whereas Makoto and Haru move a little faster, getting together in Hawaii.

Also, I've made up my mind. The Shadow Ops as a whole have been raising Koromaru's puppies for a bit, to see if any would have the potential. The two boys of the litter end up assigned to assist with the special task the twins have, so. Yeah they got doggies

Hoshi and Kumo, with their personas Balto and Laika. Helps add to the family environment in the Shirogane house. Hoshi and Kumo don't join them when they search for targets in Mementos, but have helped Makoto and Goro track the movements of the Phantom Thieves, and with general exploration

(it's. Because they can't fit on Johanna too. Only room for Makoto and Goro)

But here's some stuff on Naoto and Rise since I haven't said much on them

Naoto is only a part time Shadow OP. He works as a detective on retainer for the Tokyo police most of the time, but takes private cases, mostly from Kirijo directly, now and then. He sometimes travels for work, and makes sure that if he can't bring his family, that he brings home gifts for them all

This is a trans man Naoto. Cause I'm weak. QueerHet NaoRise my beloved.

Now, Rise has retired as an idol years ago. She's a vocal instructor at a music and dance studio focused on youth, and she uses some of her idol money to help pay for students who need help paying for classes or music gear. She hasn't been involved in persona business since Inaba all those years ago. She was given the offer, but she didn't take it. Using Himiko that much back then really tired her out, made her feel like a zombie sometimes. She'd help in an emergency, but she's done enough in her mind

They were looking to adopt when they got the news of the Niijima's passing. It felt like the universe was giving them a sign, to Rise. Naoto wouldn't use those words, but same feeling. Having a teen and two infants was tough, but for them? Rewarding as fuck. Rise sobbed when one of the twins first babbled a "Mama" in her direction, and cried so hard watching Naoto melt at being called "Papa"

Rise would sing to them to get them to sleep. During storms, the whole family would get under a fort in the living room with cushions and blankets, Rise singing and Naoto humming as they watch their youngest, Makoto, gradually stop shaking, her iron grip on her brother and big sis slackening

So. Yeah. Please let me know if you like this au and if I should keep goinf

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas i came out to my parents as trans about four months ago. They told me they would be supportive, but all they’ve done is blatantly ignore anything i’ve said and not make any effort to involve themselves or ask questions like I asked them to do(which is obviously extremely hurtful).

Anyway, I wanna pick out a new name for my friend at least to use. A part of me wants to stick to family traditions(but i sort of feel my parents lost that privilege when they decided not to involve themselves, so maybe not tradition?) and i also want to pick a name that suits me(instead of a name that was picked before i developed my own personality).

I’m only out to one other friend because I feel like I have to have everything(like a new name) figured out before coming out to the rest(i know I don’t but still).

I’m just wondering what i should do? I’ve tried asking my friend for help but it’s not something I want to just dump on her as her new responsibility.

Hi!

I'm so sorry your family isn't being supportive <3 Please know I'm proud of you and I support you.

Honestly, I think you should pick a name that feels right for you, whether it meets family traditions or not. This is your name, your identity, and your life. You should only think about yourself when deciding, especially if you don't have a lot of support from others.

Also remember that you can change your mind. If you try a name and you don't like it, it's not permanent. You haven't done anything legally, you know? So be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to figure out what's best for YOU.

[prismatoxic]

i had another ptk thought recently, actually, that i've been wanting to talk about.

there is no part of me that sees this as malicious, or willfully ignoring my intentions, but the fact remains that a few times now i've had people assume ptk chilchuck has had top surgery and/or is on T.

from chapter 2:

...His father never had to worry about whether gaining weight would make his body prominently feminine. Chilchuck turns to the side a little, frowning at his reflection. He’s never considered himself needing any of the surgeries, but he has experience with what weight does to his body, and if he was heavier all the time...

and from chapter 8:

Laying down feels too vulnerable, so Chilchuck pushes himself up on one elbow, tugging at the material at the front of his nightshirt without really thinking about it. As a teen, he’d constantly worry that his chest showed through anything he wore, always hunching over or wearing baggy clothes. These days it’s not really a concern; his breasts are small, so much so that unless he’s fully shirtless it’s hard to tell he has them at all. Something about preparing to reveal his true nature brings all the fears from his adolescence back, making him worry that when Laios knows, he’ll be able to see.

now, i've never brought up T, so i'm willing to be more lenient on people assuming he's on it or has been on it, but there's still something... unfortunate? about assuming a character's transition status is more "complete" when it hasn't been stated to be so.

ptk chilchuck is not medically transitioned. he had his gender marker legally changed back in kahka brud, and he's done voice training. i headcanon half-foots as having unisex names, so his name was always chilchuck. these things will come up, but they haven't yet because they haven't been relevant.

again, i don't think this is malicious. i don't even think people do it on purpose. i think there's this baseline assumption of what a trans character means, what they must look like, what they must have done. i've done it in the past too. but the bottom line is that you really shouldn't assume transition status unless it's said. for a character, this is forgivable; for a real person, it can be far more harmful.

and importantly, to me, i need you all to be comfortable with trans people who haven't medically transitioned. it has to be okay for people to write those sorts of characters. if it isn't, for you, i'd look into why that is. and if you've just found yourself assuming things, i'd also examine that. it doesn't mean you're a transphobe and i'm not accusing you of that. it just means you need to examine some biases. we all do, from time to time.

i have wips in the works where he's had top surgery and is on T, because i do like that interpretation of him, but what matters is that no one assumes this is the case until it's stated.

[fishsfailureson]

Finally freeing this post from my drafts gh

So lately I've been thinking about gender in a fantasy project I've been working on for a very long time. Said project is The Journey, a xenofiction about foxes who were brought to another realm by a god, had their genes modified, were given sapience, and also have magic. I don't want to go into detail about that right now since it's still in development and also contains spoilers so that's all you need to know about that. (The following work is still in development, and is subject to change, I would not consider it as spoiler heavy although it does play some role in the plot)

(Slight cw for discussions of in-universe transphobia, while the societies of this book series are generally accepting they are definitely not perfect (also fictional religion))

(Also please note that this doesn't reflect my actual beliefs around being trans. I hope this is already obvious but still.)

Authorial Intent

One thing I really want to convey in this series is that the societies that the characters live in is neither utopian nor dystopian. It is intended to suck but not suck completely (there's a whole freaking war going on of course things suck!!!). This does include bigotry. I want to convey the idea of things sucking, but still being able to get better. One thing I don't want to do is have the way bigotry manifests in-universe be identical to any real world manifestation of prejudice- because that'd feel a little unrealistic in my opinion.

Names

In the setting of The Journey, names are incredibly culturally significant. Most individuals have a necklace with a representation of their name's meaning on it, these are normally made of metal, the type depending on location and status, some places also use other materials such as bone, jade or wood. Some areas wear their necklaces constantly while others wear them only on special occasions. I could go on a whole ramble about this but this post is about trans characters so we'll save that for another day.

So, what happens when a fox decides to change their name? They have a ceremony for that! (They also probably have an initial naming ceremony but I haven't really thought about it much) The exact details of the ceremony are undecided currently. This is somewhat similar to a legal name change except it is a lot more spiritual. It is HIGHLY taboo to use someone's old name for them if they have gone through this ceremony. On the other hand it is quite common for individuals to justify deadnaming individuals who haven't gone through the ceremony yet because they haven't which sucks really. (Note: honestly in universe I do not feel like the term "deadname" would fit to describe an individual's relationship with their old name- I'm considering the term "shedded name" instead.)

"Now, what do they do with their old necklaces?" you may ask. Well you're in luck because I do in fact have an answer for this question! Name necklaces are created from rare materials (usually) and have a lot of fine craftmanship put into them- there are individuals who specialise in designing and creating them after all. Getting rid of them would be incredibly impractical and it's not like you could just sell a sacred object without being given the side-eye by everyone around you. So instead of throwing them away, most individuals keep their old name necklaces until they find someone to gift them to- often a newborn relative, or a relative who transitioned and is looking for a new name (note: this happens to one of The Journey's protagonists actually- her chosen name, Eclipse, used to belong to her great-grandfather, Ginkgo). Naming and renaming ceremonies are actually slightly different depending on whether the name is being gifted or not.

The gods (and magic)

While not all gods in-universe are non-binary, the gods specific to the pantheon that the foxes worship all are. This is because they (the gods) didn't have any exposure to the concept of gender during their early years- when they first encountered the concept of gender they had a collective gender identity crisis but they all came to the conclusion that gender didn't really matter to them.

There is a small school of thought that being non-binary is a form of blasphemy but this is a fringe belief. The gods themselves have come down to say it is bullshit. Alas, it still persists.

Medical transition is possible through the use of magic. The process is swift and painless- although it does feel a little bit weird. It can be done as many times as an individual wants in theory, however said magic is only held by two individuals, who are both gods. One has been banished from the pantheon and is completely unavailable and the other is often busy, so it is pretty difficult to access. Still probably better than what we have irl though. Due to how difficult it is to obtain, not medically transitioning isn't particularly frowned upon, although most individuals assume that everyone wants it.

Conclusion (kinda)

While the society of The Journey is generally accepting of trans individuals it is still incredibly flawed. It has certainly been significantly better than real life- transness has never been outlawed after all, but there is still room for improvement. Same goes for literally any other issue in their society. Anyway I have no idea what else to write here so I'm just ending this now lmao. Also this is still a work in progress so things may change.

[undeadorion]

People better appreciate that I'm not reducing Sister Imperator to a smudge for this comic. She the actress from the earlier videos looks alarmingly like my mother.

Long story short: my mother was a heinous mentally and emotionally abusive bitch. A compulsive liar. I hate her with the burning fury of a thousand suns. She is the source of 90% of my trauma.

She told me and my two sisters she was a registered nurse. Our whole lives she said that's what her job was. She needed help writing up a resume when I was in my 30s and I realized she had no medical school. She had only ever been a medical secretary, running the front desk. When I called this out she swore up and down that it had only ever been a joke. Yet she'd always come home with wild stories of saving patient's lives when she worked on the cardiac unit. One I remember vividly was claims she was straddling a patient doing chest compressions while they rushed him to the ER. She was suffering from osteoporosis so bad she struggled to get up the stairs some days. And the hospital could have it's pants sued off if a fucking secretary was caught doing chest compressions. while SITTING ON A PATIENT.

After she divorced my dad she eventually married this guy who I think was at least a former meth addict. He was missing at least half his teeth and was about as intelligent as a half boiled potato. She moved away to live with him in Texas because his mom was super rich. The family had oil on their land, apparently. This is why my mom married him. She moved back at some point claiming he was nightmarishly abusive. Like threatening to shoot he in the head and shit. But she refused to use any of the resources available then burned through like $500,000 in 6 months. I caught her talking to him on the phone one night, planning for him to come visit. She didn't know I was sitting on the stairs listening.

Mind you she hadn't told him I was trans. The last he'd seen me was before I started my transition. He was rural Texas with a gun level bigotry. She wouldn't tell him because "he wouldn't understand." So I asked her what we were going to tell him when he came to visit.

She lied to my fucking face and said that's not who she was talking to. It was her friend who lived in another state who was going to visit family. I said I'd heard her say "I love you." She legit insisted she said that to her friends. Which she'd never done in her life. So I made note of the date I'd heard her set. The night before that date she told me he'd called to say he was coming for a "surprise" visit. Surprise my ass she'd planned it over a month before. I went to stay in a hotel before a friend offered me a place to stay. I popped by about a week later to find the entire apartment except my room in boxes. My mom didn't say a single fucking word while I was there.

I got a text message a few days later just saying "He's gone, you can come home." But when I got there, of course she wasn't there. There was just a note on the kitchen counter saying "This was the only way" with the apartment keys.

This was mid-December of 2017. I texted her to say I'd sorted rent out and to never speak to me again. I haven't heard from her since.

I'm over it enough I can talk about it and obviously draw someone that looks like her. I'm mostly just angry about it now. I wanted to share this I guess so people know when I reference my mom they know exactly the sort of person I'm talking about.

Oh, and I was in the process of legal transition while I lived with her. Name and gender marker changes. She'd been fine with my transition until then. But once I started the legal process she'd look at me all full of tears then hold my face and start crying. She'd say shit like she was "mourning her baby." I was 33 fucking years old and standing in front of her.

[wobblyprinny]

Just Some Random Thoughts....

You ever have those days where seeing/hearing/reading one thing leads you down the rabbit hole of a million and one other thoughts that, no matter what you do, won't leave?

Yeah, that was me these last couple of days.

I won't go into too much detail seeing as I'm both not sure how interesting philosophy is to other people and all this is more off the cuff than any structured discourse on my part.

But, basically, the gist of it comes down to things like....

'If we haven't succeeded in fully normalizing things like gender and race equality yet, then I'm not at all surprised we haven't that we are getting push back on things like LGBTQ+ or trans right'.... to say nothing of consang relationships between consenting adults or anyone further afield of that.

I mean, it's easy to talk about 'freedom and equality for all', 'universal human rights' or 'free speech', but...

I honestly don't think we value those things as a species nearly as highly as we claim to.

For example, in the UK, even though there's no general 'right to free speech' in British law, the right to 'freely express yourself' is protected, at least since 1998. Kinda crazy to me growing up here in the US, but then... looking into a little more, a lot of the censorship can and will be deployed in the name of the 'public good'. You can imagine the number of loophole abuse scenarios that can come up with vague logic like 'corrupting public morals/peace' and all that but there you go. Of course, you also have cases like the race related stuff going on with the anti-immigration riots rocking the country since earlier this month and the disinformation about the suspect who committed the attack that sparked them, which itself was more of a symptom of some way bigger underlying issues... but my point is, you do have instances where censorship tactics have sound reasoning, at least on the surface and in specific cases...

The major questions then, I think, would be, 'In what circumstances, specifically, and in what way?'

Again, loophole abuse abounds, like the UK police cracking down on more than they should as far as what I would consider 'free speech' as an American. But again, the UK doesn't actually have free speech rights.

All that being said, and even though there are cases where censorship is deployed, it ranks 23 out of 180 countries according data collected by 'Reporters Without Borders'.

Contrast that with here in the US where the freedom of speech is legally protected under the First Amendment of the Constitution and even ranking in the top 10 for countries whose citizens value free speech (at around 78 according to the the free speech index, iirc).

However, free speech here in the US has always been a slippery slope.

For one, you have the fact that, up until just after and even to this day to some degree, the concept of 'protected free speech' only really applied to anything passed by federal/national law, which meant that local and state laws were free to censor the crap out of you if they so wished. Of course, these attitudes changed after the Civil War where any form of governmental censorship was looked at with more scrutiny. Of course, I'd argue that Americans more generally don't really trust the government to begin with and never really have.

But I digress.

So, more recent cases of heavy censorship include the so called 'Red Scare' of the 1950's to pretty much any moral panic movement in the history of ever where slogans like 'think of the kids' comes to mind.

This is best exemplified in the 1973 Supreme Court case of 'Miller v. California' which ruled the First Amendment does 'not' protect speech/expressions that could be considered 'obscene'.

Not only that, but free speech protections do not extend to corporations, just those under the law. So yeah, say you have a view that supports Palestine(NOT Hamas. I really hate that people conflate the two) or expresses views that criticize the Israeli government and those views gets known... Censorship out the ass and you could very well lose your job.

So, even though we in the US rank high on lists that value free speech and have said rights protected under the law... in practice, we do a crappier job about upholding those values than a country that has no such rights in their law code.... ranking at 55 out of 180 countries in the same 2024 'Reporters Without Borders' index.

More recent examples include the Pro-Palestine protests at the DNC and the recent rejection to even allow a Palestinian-American to speak at the DNC even though they let the family member of one of the hostages Hamas too... giving only hte Israeli perspective on the issue.

My points here, are just like in the case of the 'Red Scare' of the 50's and the obvious loophole abuse of precedents like 'Miller v. California' where you can just call something obscene and therefore censor it with some nice sounding but logically fragile reasoning, then it's no wonder we haven't moved very far on the path to normalizing things that really should have been non-issues literally hundreds of years ago seeing as gay, trans, and consang relationships have been around for as long as human civilization has.

Even worse is the tendency to pendulum on some of these issues... Periods of time where such behavior was seen as unequivocally 'normal'.

If anything, we've swung too far in the other direction where the only real and 'acceptable' response is to react negatively.... which is not helped by our collective tendency to be reactive rather than proactive.

... And that's not even getting into stuff like 'human rights'.

Anyway, sorry. I just... had some thoughts and this is where they took me and I didn't want them stuck in my head....

[fleshengine]

oh yeah guess what my dad has started reading homestuck. I haven't even been pressuring him into it. Like I did years ago but he never got through act 1, then this morning after dreaming about him having nuclear codes, he texts me that he just finished act 2. He also asked me when it gets good and I had to tell him that he's almost there. Also I tried to get him to use the Unofficial Homestuck Collection and he said installing an app to read a comic was making him think about alcohol. (He's not an alcoholic, that's my mom, he's just being silly.) hmmmm... you know the meme that homestuck changes people's genders? Well my dad is already really eggy, maybe reading homestuck would help move him along. Would be pretty sick to have a trans mom. Then I'd have THREE MOTHER FIGURES. Something something mommy joke lol. It would rock especially because my birthname was the same as my dad's and his was the same as his dad's and his dad's (yeah I'm a fourth what of it) but when I came out I changed mine legally to a feminine version of the same name. Maybe my dad would do the same thing. We could turn the name into a bigender/genderless version of itself. Then when I have my first kid I can demand that my partner let me name them my name but a fifth. lmao. God I need this to happen. Oh also my computer did that thing where its monitor shuts off as I'm writing so I've been writing all this blind again.

[trickscourse]

whats the deal with your kid

I'm not going to disclose the full situation because someone did start harassing them!

I've known this kid since pre-pandemic, I'm not saying where for both of our safety but we've been friends for a bit! Their friends have reached out with trans questions (like the Amazon binder thing) and the most I've done is go to a school play a town over.

Despite what Sunny thinks, it is fine for a teenager to be friends with someone a few years older than them as a sibling or mentor figure. Me being an idiot teenager 4-5 years ago who didn't understand things are wrong doesn't mean I haven't learned from things since.

This kid, someone I see as a sibling is someone I kept bumping into at my job several times over the past few years and they started following me around like a duckling, it was cute. At one point they found my instagram and I told them to ask their parents if they could follow me.

After a bit, they and their boyfriend/friend group kept calling me their dad/gay dad friend which I wasn't okay with. I don't want to be a parent, so I asked to be called an older brother or an uncle, and I asked them what they wanted to be called, and they just said "the kid" or "my kid".

Which is fine, not everyone likes certain gendered terms and it was their decision and it helps me avoid calling them by their name. A few times I've asked them if they wanted to be called something different, and they said being called my kid is fine.

I gave them my email to give to their parents, which led to exchanging phone numbers. Their parents have asked me on occasion to check in with the kid when I'm at my job and make sure they eat, where they are and how they're doing since they're allergic to using their phone, what time they need to be picked up.

My kid doesn't have my actual phone number. I have my personal one and my professional one, and we usually talk over Instagram. As much as Sunny likes to think I'm a creep, I really don't like hanging out with kids or much of a desire to go out of my way to speak to them.

I speak to their parents often, but their parents aren't great! The adopting thing happened when last winter they called me 3-4 times over then span of a few months crying really hard that their parents locked them out and took their other siblings out of state for a few days to a week, and they wanted to stay over so they wouldn't be locked outside in the New England winter.

The adopting thing was taken out of context, because I felt awful seeing this child get locked out of the house for days at a time, usually on school break, in very bad weather. I wanted to have them stay with me for a few hours to MAYBE a night so they'd be warm, but didn't want to drag them here in case their parents got upset and legal shit would be involved or I would get accused of kidnapping.

I REALLY don't want a kid staying in my apartment, there isn't much room (I know Sunny probably downloaded the fucking floor plan by now) and it would be a hassle but it's the best option between this child possibly sleeping outside or staying in a homeless shelter filled with strangers and CPS might get involved.

We don't talk much at the moment because I'm scared of people stalking them, but I don't want to be a parent, I'm terrified of continuing the cycle of abuse my parents put on me in any way and I can't afford to.

Tbh that's all I can think of from here about them? They're a good kid who bothers me sometimes to play Fortnite with them and talks to me about Omori and I talk to them about old fandom shit.

I never said Sunny contacted them, I don't think she's that much of a creep yet even though she knows my old address.

Someone asked them about one of my headmates, and I don't talk to them about my mental health stuff often so I changed the topic.

[violet-snail-girl]

I know I've only known I was trans since this March but I feel like I haven't been doing enough, haven't been making enough progress. And I know that starting HRT and coming out to most of my friends and my parents and starting (emphasis on starting) to get some new clothes is still progress but there still seems like there's too much more to do and it's overwhelming.

I know I need to start laser hair removal because I need to start getting rid of my facial hair (and probably most of my body hair too because honestly that's one of the biggest sources of dysphoria for me) but I'm looking into Milan for that since I've heard good things but their form for setting up a consult requires you to put in a name and I don't know what name I can use and I still boymode nearly all the time so I would be explicitly outing myself if I used my chosen name but I also really don't want to use my legal name if it's not required and I know they're supposed to be really trans friendly but I don't know. And that's just one thing, something that I really want to do and that I know will make my life better but it's so much and I don't know how to start and it's easier to not start and just continue hating myself for it.

And there's so much more too. I want to come out at work but before I do that I need to come out to my team lead to ask for advice on changing my name in our internal systems and before I do that I need to get more comfortable with him but I just recently switched to having him as my TL and even before any of this I want to come out to my one work friend that I talk to outside of work but I'm worried about how he'll react because he's mentioned in the past being catholic but he also said that he wasn't happy with some things the catholic church was doing so I think he's more on the liberal side of catholicism but I don't know and I don't want him to react badly.

I don't know how to make this easier or to stop overthinking all of this and I know I have my entire rest of my life to do all of this but these things would make my life better if I did them so I want to do them sooner and I just keep spiraling and making this into too much and I don't know how to stop.

[calamitys-child]

Hiya! I'm sorry idk if you're in the headspace to take a equation asking for some advice do please feel free to ignore! I was just wondering if you could offer any thoughts on a dilemma I'm facing. 19 yo trans guy in the UK and I'm looking for a job but haven't legally changed my name so I'm faced with decisions about how to apply to places. I was thinking apply with my chosen name and in the interview tell them I have a different legal name but only want it on legal stuff. Some people have said to tell them you have a preferred name after getting hired so you aren't discriminate against but idk I feel like that wouldn't be a very great place to work? As a trans person. Anyway I just wondered if you had any experience, I hope things are going better for you today, thank you either way

No worries at all! Before I changed my name I just applied under my taken name, and if I got the job I'd tell them my ID is under a different name for legal reasons but to call me Aidan and I never had any bother. I feel like unfortunately the concept of Passing can come into play, which I don't like, but I guess pre-T I often got away with just looking like a twink and this way I'd at least get face to face with them before they had a chance to try and be transphobic. Even now I've changed it I don't have a passport under Aidan so I give them birth certificate and deed poll and that works good for me. ymmv but that is how I did it. Good luck and best wishes, i hope it goes well!

[ace-the-fox]

Oohhh mama I've got the Adam Murray fankid (Cain) on the brain again. Have some thoughts (he's still a massive WIP that is trying to go along with whatever the canon decks at my face next, but here's the recents):

Okay, so, he IS now Evelin's kid too. Idk, it's symbolic and shit, and makes the most sense. They are the only couple in the series among the main characters, I believe, so...

This one's my fave. Making his parents pretty heavy duty Christians. But not like Carrie Christians, and more "We asked God to give us the perfect child and then we adopted you... What do you mean you want to be a boy, that isn't God's way??" Yeah, that. So, obviously having his Biblical knowledge, hating his parents, and not knowing what name to go by, he slaps on Cain for the time being. It's just to piss off his parents by naming himself after a murderer from the bible, because hey he's not getting it permanently, legally changed or anything. Though, he does turn out to really, really like it, unfortunately for his folks. (Also the fact that Cain killed Abel, his brother, and his deadname, Annabelle, has Abel basically in the middle... 👀 layersssss-)

He's basically the type of guy who would literally cry over spilled milk but then go through the most traumatising event known to man and just go "well, that sure was... a day."

I've also given him friends!! (Even though, with the way tmc seems to be going, the alternates might as well kill off all humanity by 2023, when this takes place, BUT–) I haven't thought of names. I considered biblical ones, but I'm not sure about finding ones that really fit deeper than just being from the good ol' bibble. One of them is your typical basic blonde white girl (who, admittedly, kind of starts off as one of those annoying allies. "I want a gay best friend!!" type of thing), the other one's a chubby video game nerd. They're an odd bunch, who somehow bonded over a shared chemistry project :)

This may change with the tmc plot or other stuff, but rn I've decided what makes the most sense is that Cain isn't technically an alternate and is actually just some guy. However, he is immune to alternates, as they can sense SOMETHING off about his vibes.

Mention of (entirely SFW) mpreg under the cut (I mean, any thing I do for any fandom ever is nearly guaranteed to include it, and I apologise for that but it will happen again lol). Don't tap if it ain't your thing.

(I may or may not have started a oneshot based on the latter half of this idea lol...)

So, he was originally starting to develop before Catalyst came out, and I got the whole "he was found in a rubbish bin off the street" thing from a Jacqueline Wilson book I never even read (sue me, okay 💀). But, no, recently I had a better idea: lil Cain was born DURING Catalyst. Essentially, Adam had no idea he was pregnant, his alt transformation triggered labour, he was already in so much pain from said transformation the labour also went completely missed, baby comes out, Adam has no idea what to think or feel. And, this all kinda depends on what Alex is gonna do next, but main idea for now is Adam gives bby to Thatcher and tells him to make sure he's (well, he'd say she because Cain was literally a newborn, but I'll say he because I feel that's right? Idk trans people can confirm or otherwise on that lol) cared for. Thatcher takes him to the hospital where he can be looked over and given to a new family (,:

[iliad24]

for the fic asks - any or all of 3, 7, 10, 45?

kissing you on the mouth for sending this anon (sorry. that comes on strong. i am giving you a respectful and firm handshake)

(asks are here by the way)

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

OOH i think about this fairly often! i think you can see a lot of what i'm interested in through my fics. i definitely tend to go for fluff, i love disabling my characters, i like quietly complicated emotions, i like touch... oh you know what? my characters are in doctors' offices/med bays all the time. it's actually really annoying i always want them to have medical tests or whatever and then i have to write ANOTHER med bay scene 🙄 oh also at this point mitski i will should probably be considered a trope.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

OOH well first of all turning the bad wolf thing into a disability at all i think is like. really fun in that regard, like... i enjoy taking a common bit of fanon and going "okay but surely this wouldn't just be fun time powers right." and like i've said before it's really good because it gives space for both projection and wish fulfillment

i also like. haven't gotten to put a lot of penny's backstory into tattoo au (when i run away (you're who i run to) is the official title i just only ever call it tattoo au) yet because it's not like she would volunteer the information, and it's not like donna would say anything either but adapting the doctor's backstory for a human is something i really enjoyed. it's a really intense backstory but like so is the doctor's! basically she was adopted by a medical researcher who found out that she had a gene mutation that gave her increased immunity to various diseases (i'm like 80% sure this is a real thing but please don't fact check me thank you <3) and used that as a reason to like. exploit her to research the gene mutation etc-- all that is an adaptation of the timeless child. her chronic illness is because over the course of this experimentation she contracted a virus she wasn't immune to and it was just her luck that it happened to give her chronic fatigue-- this is an attempt at adapting the way regeneration goes wrong for the doctor, i realized i headcanon them as having trouble with regeneration because of all that trauma/experimentation.

also she's trans which is mostly separate from all that except her past experiences have informed her physical transition and it's meaningful to her to be able to make changes to her body that are completely under her control and explicitly positive (but she will not inject hrt, she has to do pills and/or gel, and she is an absolute terror every time she has to do a blood test). and getting tattooed is similar for her, it's like... a positive change that's under her control. she got to donna by running away from her adoptive mum when she was like sixteen and winding up in london trying to do a-levels at donna's school, and donna befriended her. she didn't have the name penny yet and she was sixteen and a bit of a dork so she went by "the doctor," penny comes from going over to donna's and having donna's mum go "it's the bad penny again!" because she's like. always there (because she kind of doesn't have anywhere else) and wilf turns it into an inside joke and starts calling her penny affectionately and then she's like. yeah okay sure. that'll be my name. ALSO donna is the one who introduced her to judaism, she wasn't raised with much religion but as she became part of donna's family etc she started to enjoy/appreciate judaism more and more and eventually converted. which is meaningful to her both because the religion itself resonates but also because it connects her to the people she actually considers family. (her last name is also noble, legally.) the funny thing about this au was realizing that literally all my characters except donna had run away from their families in some capacity as a teenager but like what do you expect from doctor who

also she has finley L word hair. as is the natural way of things. (but s1-2 hair when finley's still blond)

SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT I'VE BEEN RESISTING DUMPING ALL OF THIS ON THE PUBLIC FOR MONTHS NOW IS THE THING.

10. How do you decide what to write?

OUGH I ROTATE THINGS IN MY MIND AND THEN THEY'RE ON THE PAGE. sometimes there's a prompt challenge or exchange or something but mostly i have really unhinged conversations with my friends and by the end of it i have a new wip. or i just start thinking a little too hard about a character or dynamic or whatever. but pretty much anything i write is just like. something i'm feeling things about in the moment.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

ooh i'm so much more detailed now! a lot of my fics used to read as like. almost as scripts? like mostly dialogue, not a lot of description. which makes sense, i come from the theater, but like. it's not the vibe i want! i've gotten better at pushing myself to imagine the little nuances of a scene, like the body language/expressions and stuff, and i've gotten better at describing emotional experiences too. i feel like in general i've just matured a lot as a person too and with that has come added depth and perspective to my fics. like i started posting to ao3 when i was fourteen and now i'm 23. and i think it's really interesting to look at my old fics and see how i've grown since i wrote them!

[mechlizard]

Wandering Son

For context, I'm trans. I actually got my name change legally finalized yesterday 🎉. Yeah, this anime does a pretty damn good job at capturing the feelings that Shu is going through. The only thing missing is a whole lot more crying.

Shu replies "no" to this. The only thing not believable in this show is that a trans girl doesn't play videogames. /j

In the first episode, Shu makes it very clear that they don't feel comfortable in their clothes. That it's not physically restrictive, but it still feels like it. That smile in the photo didn't have a soul behind it. I'm sure that Shu would very much understand our lesson on gender performativity, even without reading much into it. I wouldn't doubt that Shu probably feels like they are playing a character to be able to not get harassed by their peers.

One thing I noticed was that there were some gender dynamics at play that are extremely similar in the United States. Where women who wear men's clothes get a pass but might be considered to be doing it for attention or to be cool. But if men wear women's clothes, the world might as well be crumbling apart, and they're looking to do it for sexual pleasure. I know this might sound weird, but gender expression and sexuality are completely separate, but it's very common that people believe that they are connected.

I do want to mention Doi. The guy that convinces Shu to go to school as a girl. I feel like others might have been confused as to what his motivation is. I read his behavior as being a classic "chaser." A chaser is someone that is attracted to trans people but does not respect their identity in front of others. Doi might also be wrestling with the possibility that he might not be considered straight, so he might also be lashing out in public so that others might not suspect that about him. This is something that trans people, especially trans women, have to actively be careful of, as a chaser will drop support for a trans person the moment they might be considered with the trans person.

Doi after meeting a transgender adult for the first time. I audibly said, "Ah, fuck, this dude's a chaser," right when I saw this, and I predicted the plot line that was coming.

I also want to say that this show came out in 2011, and the manga that this was based on was earlier. I noticed that these characters had a hard time expressing how they were feeling, and I feel like a part of the reason for that is that all of the words to do so haven't been popularized yet.

Every trans girl needs a dysphoria hoodie!

If this class could stop showing me things that make me cry, I would appreciate it. 🙃