#so i might not remember everything super well
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I just saw that like you guys are like offering some like jobs and Im like super desperate for one. Im like totes hot, young, lean, blond...the perfect example of a fem twink. I just like need the money so any job would be like fine but the security guard... Ugh, I dont think like I would be able to help with that.
A headshot? What’s that?
It’d taken you hours to create a profile, and now the stupid website wanted a picture of you? And, like, a nice one? Ugh!
You scrolled through your camera roll. The only photos you had of yourself were selfies…and some spicier pics for OnlyFans.

Why was finding a job so hard?
You weren’t supposed to work. That’s what all those old guys were for. Yeah, they were totally gross. But going out with them did pay your rent…until they stopped texting you.
And then your account got banned. You were too hot, apparently.
Sigh.
You pouted as you swiped past job post after job post. Waiting tables? Stocking shelves? No way! There had to be something for you. And that's when you saw Men’s Monthly was hiring.
Maybe they could use a pretty face at the front desk? And what if the CEO was super hot…? Mmm, he'd so want to work with you...
You filled out an application, and it wasn’t long before you got a call: “Would you be interested in joining Men’s Monthly’s security team?”
The recruiter’s words echoed in your ears.
“Look, I know it’s not what you had in mind. Your résumé said you were a ‘self-employed model and influencer.’ But maybe it’s time to realign your career goals? And you never know - they might tap you for a photoshoot!”
Could you really refuse? After all, you were, like, super desperate for a job…and maybe the uniform would be cute? It wasn’t cute.
The all-black pants and shirt came with sturdy boots, a belt and holster, and a solid vest that seemed to weigh just as much as you. You struggled to put everything on, not least because nothing fit you.
You looked silly. Why’d you ever say yes to this stupid job?
Tears began to well in your eyes. You blinked.
Why the fuck were you gonna cry? You had a job a do. Come on, bro! You looked damn good in your gear, just tight enough to show off some of your muscle. Yeah, all that time in the gym was payin’ off. And your beard? It had a ways to go, but growin’ it out was for sure the right move. Made you look tougher, stronger, sexier. Like a man.
You snapped a selfie.
Better remember your first day, ‘cause it was gonna be good.

Thanks for applying, Rod-tf!
And if you're looking to Be a Man™, Men's Monthly is still hiring!
#fiction#male character#himbo#jock#dumb jock#male transformation#himbo transformation#jock transformation#circumscribitwrites
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Hi, yes, hello! First of: love your work, hope I can become as good an artist as you are! Secondly (and the actual ask), do you have any specific sources you reference for the symbolism of things and historical wear/weapons/armor?
I saw your mention of Whose Middle Ages? in your latest ramble and got curious if you have any go-to's when it comes to this.
Thank you! :)
So I might be the worst person to be asked about period accurate clothing - I look at stuff and then try to replicate it from memory most of the time, so nothing is correct and periods get mixed together. However, I do have recommendations!! (sorry for a ramble, I'll put in under cut)
The type of medievalist art I'm mostly interested in is from Pre-Raphaelite era (1848->). There was an exhibition here in Finland mixing both true medieval, pre-raphaelite, and symbolism works together into the ultimate medievalist concoction that really had amazing inspiration for both symbolism and clothing. I own the book, which unfortunately is only available in Finnish and Norwegian
2. Unfortunate I cannot find/remember the artists anymore, but over on bluesky there are really great fellow armor enthusiasts sharing links to their drives for reference pictures they have taken from museums etc - these threads pop-up from time to time to combat AI slop on other reference picture platforms (like pinterest).
3. For really good breakdowns on super super accurate armor and arms, look no further than a really great artist mudnblood . Another artist I will always find to be a master of medival armor (and many other things) is John Howe
4. cheesy, but Kingdom Come: Deliverance II has really great armor references, because you can rotate Henry in character screen and take pieces of armor on/off
5. I like to look at HEMA content -There are really great resources on youtube of historical warfare and combat, but these creators will also often make breakdown of their own armor and how they dress everything on, where you can get good understanding of how pieces work together.
6. Medievalist scholars! Another book I've found to be insanely interesting aside from Whose Middle Ages?, is "Handbook of Arthurian Romance : King Arthur's Court in Medieval European Literature" (Tether et al., 2017). I wish I had recommendation, but these two specifically go into masculinity, desire, and queer studies in a way that brings me joy (and other great topics as well)
Lastly, thank you for the amazing ask!
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I keep finding you in almost.



Notes: James Potter x Female Reader. Lily my beloved. More angst. More existential crisis. Not use of Y/N. English is not my first language. Use of Google translate.
Cw: Existentialism. Existential crisis. Broke of reality.
WC: 5.5k
Navigation| Your name
Part I | Part II | Part III
“Hey! Wake up! Come on, we’re already super late, and McGonagall’s going to have our heads if we’re late again. Move it!”
A voice. Female. Firm, but not aggressive. Almost affectionate. Like a gentle tug on reality, as if someone were trying to pull you out from the other side of a dream.
Your mind took a few seconds to figure out what was happening. Between the confusion of broken dreams and the weight of waking up, it felt like you’d been submerged in a consciousness that wasn’t entirely your own. As if you’d been dragged from very far away. A whisper of doubt settled in the center of your chest, vibrating with an unease you didn’t yet know how to name.
You blinked a few times, your eyes sticky with sleep, the morning light timidly filtering through one of the high windows. The first thing you saw was the thick red canopy above you, embroidered with golden thread, wrapping you in a warmth that didn’t feel like yours—as if someone else had chosen that space for you.
Then, the hurried movement of a figure beside your bed: a red-haired girl, her bright green eyes shining with impatience, already halfway into a black robe. On her chest, embroidered in gold, the crest of a rampant lion gleamed with pride: Gryffindor.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Like you don’t know me,” she asked, half-laughing as she tied the laces of her shoes. She had an infectious energy, a presence that filled the room with ease. But to you, she was a complete stranger.
You swallowed hard. Slowly, you sat up, feeling the rough touch of the sheets, the creak of the wood beneath your feet as you moved. Everything felt strange. Even your own body felt like an ill-fitting costume. Your thoughts drifted like leaves in the wind, and no answer seemed right.
Where am I?
The question wasn’t a clear, direct thought, but more of a confused whisper rising from some deep corner of your mind. A feeling that enveloped you entirely, beyond language, beyond logic. As if you’d been ripped from a dream and thrown into a reality that didn’t belong to you. You looked around, your eyes still clouded by sleep, and nothing made sense… but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar either. It was a disturbing feeling: familiarity without memories. Like everything was slightly off, like a painting hanging crooked on a silent wall.
“What are you still doing in bed?” the girl insisted, now with a smile somewhere between amused and exasperated. She moved with the ease of someone repeating a well-known scene. “I swear, one day you’re going to fall asleep in the middle of a Quidditch match.”
There was something comforting in her voice, though you didn’t know why. A warm tone, full of life, of routine, of shared history. But you didn’t remember that history. You didn’t know how to respond, so you didn’t. You stayed silent, staring at her as if waiting for something—anything—to suddenly make sense. But it didn’t.
You said nothing. Because you didn’t know what to say. Because any word would feel like a lie, an imitation of something you were supposed to know but didn’t. You felt like an impostor in your own skin. As if the body you inhabited held memories, but you didn’t. And for a moment, your silence wasn’t just confusion—it was an attempt to protect the only thing that felt like it was yours: doubt.
The room was strange… but not completely unknown. You looked at it with a mix of distance and recognition, like a place you might have visited in a dream, in a book, or in someone else’s memory. There were five beds with tall canopies, thick dark red fabric, heavy curtains that fell like stage drapes. On the floor, open trunks, wrinkled robes spilling out as if someone had changed in a hurry. The desks were cluttered with parchment, uncapped quills, books left open to pages marked with ink. An owl dozed behind the glass of one of the windows, oblivious to it all. And the air was warm, filled with the scent of old parchment, fireplace smoke, and a sweet undertone… like cinnamon and wood.
The walls, built from reddish stone, seemed to hold centuries of stories, laughter, arguments, secrets. A fireplace crackled in one corner, casting flickers of light that danced across the vaulted ceiling. It was a place full of life, full of identity… but not yours. And yet, something inside you responded to that space. Not with understanding, but with an ancient kind of instinct, as if your body knew something your mind didn’t.
And then you understood. Or at least, you sensed it. It wasn’t a logical conclusion, nor a sudden revelation, but a quiet and terrifying certainty that slipped inside you without permission. You were in one of the Gryffindor tower rooms. You recognized it, though you didn’t know how. You knew it, without knowing why. Every corner seemed to belong to a narrative that included you… but you had never read that story. You were just living in it.
But that couldn’t be. It didn’t make sense. You didn’t remember arriving here, or being a part of this. You didn’t know your name, your year, your place among these beds. And yet, everything around you treated you as if you belonged. As if you were exactly where you were supposed to be.
Your body tense immediately, as if a cold current ran down your spine. Your breathing quickened beyond your control, and a slight tremble shook your hands as you pressed them to the sheets. Something inside you screamed that none of this was right. That room, that bed, that voice. It all felt real—too real… but it wasn’t yours. None of it was. You were caught in a scene that didn’t belong to you, trapped in a script you’d never read.
That wasn’t your bed. Those weren’t your things. And most of all, that girl standing in front of you wasn’t anyone to you. And yet, she spoke to you like she was everything. As if you had shared years of confidence, inside jokes, and whispered secrets in the halls. Her tone was that of someone who knew your habits, your slow mornings, your constant distractions. But you… you had never seen her in your life. And that mismatch, that brutal dissonance, buzzed in your ears.
She kept talking, still with a light smile, until something in your face made her pause. Maybe it was the way you pulled away, the sudden brightness in your eyes, or the way you looked at everything like you were seeing the world for the first time.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her tone lower now, genuinely concerned. “You look… weird.”
The word dropped like a cold bead of water. Weird. Yes. That’s what you were. You felt it in your bones. As if you had woken up in someone else’s body. As if your name had been written on a stranger’s piece of paper.
"Who are you?" you finally asked, and your voice came out rougher than expected—hoarse, dry, as though you hadn’t spoken in days. As though your vocal cords, too, had forgotten how to be used.
The girl froze. Her green eyes locked onto yours, surprised, puzzled. She raised an eyebrow with almost theatrical slowness, but the confusion on her face was real, raw, tangible.
"What? Are you joking?" she said with a tense, half-nervous laugh. Her smile was no longer amused, but rather a mask slowly cracking. “Come on... Don’t do this to me. Not this early in the morning.”
But you didn’t smile. You said nothing more. You just stared at her.
She looked at you for several seconds in silence, as if trying to read some sign on your face that might tell her what was really going on. Her eyes narrowed with suspicion, but not hostility. It was more the look of someone unsure whether you were joking, had lost your memory, or were simply messing with her in one of those strange moods people sometimes get when craving attention. And while she searched for answers in you, you were doing exactly the same with her. You studied her carefully, as if trying to recognize a face in the fog, in a crowd of shadows where all the outlines blur together. She felt vaguely familiar, like an image seen in a dream or an old photograph, but without the real weight of memory.
"I'm Lily," she said at last, her voice slow, careful, like she was speaking from very far away, like each word could shatter as it left her mouth. "Lily Evans. Your roommate for the past six years. Did you hit your head last night or something?"
She stood still after speaking, waiting for some reaction—any sign that you were beginning to understand, that her name sparked something, even if just a flicker.
Lily Evans.
The name floated in your mind like a stone dropped in a lake. It made no ripples. It didn’t spread in soft waves reaching other memories. No. It just sank. Heavy. Silent. With a strange, dark certainty. It didn’t awaken anything you could call your own—not an image, not a voice, not a sensation. Just a weight, a presence, like something larger sleeping beneath the surface that you weren’t meant to touch.
You didn’t know if it was the name itself that unsettled you, or the way she said it—with such confidence. As if it were a self-evident answer. As if that alone should be enough to reconstruct everything you clearly couldn’t remember.
You had to look away. Not because she scared you, not because you couldn’t bear her confusion or the way her gaze bore into you—but because something deep inside you, in a place you hadn’t known existed until now, cracked at the sound of that name. Or maybe it wasn’t a crack at all. Maybe it was the opposite: a fracture that had long been open, finally starting to close. As if those two words, Lily Evans, were the key to fitting a piece you'd been searching for all your life without knowing it.
Gryffindor. Hogwarts. Lily Evans.
And then, as if carried on a whisper from another room, another memory, another heart… James Potter?
The name lodged itself in your mind with the precision of a needle and the force of a lightning strike. You didn’t know where it came from, or why it held such power, but the moment you thought it, something flared in your chest. A warm spark, unexpected, and slightly painful. Like the echo of an old emotion—too strong to be forgotten. James Potter. You didn’t need context. Just the sound of it was enough to know there was weight, history—something that mattered.
And then you knew. Not by logic. Not by deduction. You just knew, with a silent, instinctive, almost physical certainty. Like when you realize you're dreaming and still choose not to wake up.
You didn’t know how you got here.
You didn’t know what brought you to this place, or what rules you'd broken to exist in a world that felt like books and legends come alive.
You didn’t know if you were dreaming, if you’d lost your mind, or if you had simply crossed a threshold you could never return from.
But you did know one thing, the only thing that mattered.
This wasn’t your world.
And yet… this was exactly the world you had been searching for.
As if you'd spent your whole life staring at the sky without knowing why—
And now, at last, the stars were staring back.
You stood in silence, moving slowly, as if each gesture might shatter the delicate illusion surrounding you. The floor was cold beneath your feet. Your steps made no sound on the worn carpet between the beds. Everything in the room felt oddly intimate: the empty mug on your nightstand, the small mirror with rusting edges, the Charms book left open halfway through. Objects that were supposedly yours… but meant nothing to you.
Behind you, Lily was rummaging through her bag with ease, muttering something about a missing quill and how great she was going to do in Transfiguration. Her voice was a constant, an anchor in the midst of the unfamiliar. She spoke with affection, with the confidence of someone who knows you, who’s shared secrets beneath blankets and long exam nights—and yet… you knew nothing about her. Nothing. Not even her name until five minutes ago.
And still, her words didn’t feel entirely foreign. There was something in her tone—in the way she called to you without needing to speak your name—that made you want to follow her. To trust, even if you don’t understand why.
In front of the wardrobe, you hesitated. It was filled with neatly arranged robes, scarves in red and gold, socks folded with precision. Your hands moved instinctively, as if they knew better than you what they were looking for. You choose one of the robes and slid it over your shoulders. The fabric was familiar. Heavy at the edges. Comfortable. Like you had worn it a thousand times.
And then, while you fastened the first buttons in front of the oval mirror in the corner, something took your breath away.
You recognized yourself.
It wasn’t just your reflection. It was her. The girl you had felt in the dreams. The one who spoke with James in whispers and promises. The one who laughed in hallways with moving staircases. The one who drank tea with a touch of honey, and who sat by the lake with bare feet and a closed book in her hands.
You looked closer. The same mouth. The same eyes. But there was something different. A light behind the gaze.
"Ready?" Lily asked, peeking her head around the curtain with a crooked smile.
You nodded, though you weren’t sure for what.
You took your wand—because yes, you had a wand, and your fingers recognized it without having to think—and tucked it away with a natural gesture that startled you. Something was wrong. Or maybe very right. You no longer knew what the difference was.
As you followed Lily down the stairs, you felt that each step you took not only moved you farther from the bedroom... but brought you closer to something inevitable.
The common room was lit by the fire, with a few students still lounging before the first classes. A couple of boys were arguing next to the magical chessboard, others were leafing through books with furrowed brows, and the warmth of the fireplace bathed everything in an amber glow.
And you... you felt like a spectator of your own life.
You walked behind Lily, carefully descending the last steps, as if the floor might collapse beneath you. She waved at a couple of girls with a quick gesture, then turned back to you with that same radiant energy that seemed to emanate from her skin.
"Come on, if we don’t hurry, we’ll miss the pumpkin juice," she said with a soft laugh.
You nodded, wordlessly, not really knowing how to navigate a place that felt built from your memories... but without permission. You crossed the stone corridors together, the portraits murmuring to each other as they watched you pass. Some even looked at you with something that seemed... recognition?
The castle vibrated with life. The distant sound of footsteps, of laughter, of doors opening and closing. Everything was so alive, so tangible, and you, wrapped in this world as if you had been born for it... and yet, every detail sparked a pang of doubt.
When you crossed the Great Hall doors, a rush of warm aromas enveloped you immediately: freshly baked bread, spiced pumpkin, black tea. The enchanted ceiling showed a light gray sky, with clouds drifting lazily. The tables were full, and life at Hogwarts pulsed strongly and chaotically, like a heart at the break of dawn.
Lily guided you naturally to the Gryffindor table, amidst animated chatter, laughter, and plates serving themselves. She greeted a group of boys already seated near the center, and you recognized them immediately, even though your mind couldn’t explain why.
Remus was leaning over a book, elbows resting on the table. He held a piece of toast in midair, halfway between the plate and his mouth, forgotten in his hand as his eyes scanned the lines of text with absolute focus. There was something meticulous about him, a quiet stillness, as if the chaos of the world couldn’t touch him while he was reading.
Beside him, Peter spoke enthusiastically. The words came out in a rush between bites and crumbs, and his hands exaggerated every sentence, nearly spilling his juice. He laughed with his mouth full, unconcerned about propriety, oblivious to the stares. He seemed to live in a world where everything had a fun twist, even the simplest things.
And then there was Sirius. He wasn’t doing anything particularly extraordinary. He didn’t need to. His very presence was magnetic, carefree, as if the air around him moved differently. He wore his robe half-open, his tie loose, and his dark hair fell over his shoulders with an elegance that didn’t seek attention. He laughed at something he had just said, the sound both deep and light at the same time, like a soft bell. His eyes were shining. He was the kind of person who filled a space just by being there.
And then your body reacted before your mind did.
It was subtle, but immediate. A current ran down your spine, forcing you to straighten up. Your shoulders tensed, as if they were expecting something. Your breath stopped, frozen between surprise and anticipation. Something inside you knew there was a missing piece. Something you couldn’t see yet but were already looking for. Your eyes moved instinctively, with silent urgency. One, two, three...
One was missing.
You knew it should be there. You felt it. As if your whole body had tuned itself to a silent frequency, waiting for a specific presence. One that had yet to reveal itself.
James.
The name came back to you unbidden. It wasn’t a thought. It was an echo. A name that filled the void your eyes couldn’t reach.
You walked over to them. You didn’t think too much about it. Your feet moved on their own, as if something else was guiding them. You didn’t know what exactly you expected to find, only that you couldn’t stay where you were, standing still, watching from afar. So you approached, crossed that brief stretch of stone and carved wooden tables, and sat next to Remus, as if that was your natural place.
And it was like activating a carefully rehearsed scene. The three of them looked up when they saw you arrive. They greeted you without thinking, with automatic smiles, with those quick glances that old friends exchange. As if your presence wasn’t a surprise, but an inevitable part of the morning. As if you were someone who had always been there, fitting in among them like another piece of the group.
But you just watched them in silence, your eyes wide open, trapped between awe and confusion. It was so strange. So precise. Everything was fine. Everything was exactly as it should be… and yet, deeply wrong. Like a song that sounds perfect but is out of tune in a way that only you can hear.
There was a gap.
Invisible. Silent. But impossible to ignore.
An empty space between them, not physical, but emotional. An incomplete rhythm. An energy that was missing. Like an essential string hadn’t been plucked, and the melody was incomplete.
A laugh that didn’t sound.
A voice that should have been there, filling everything, overflowing with sarcasm and warmth, with confidence and chaos. And you waited for it without wanting to, without ever hearing it… but knowing exactly how it should sound.
Sirius passed you a tray of toast without looking at you, as if it were part of his daily routine with you. "Did you sleep this time or were you talking to the ghosts again last night?" he asked, with a half-smile, as if making a joke you’d shared before many times.
"What?" you said, distracted, the words coming out as if they were from another place. You didn’t even know if you had said it aloud or just in your mind.
Peter immediately jumped in, in a light and messy tone, speaking with his mouth full. "You had that face," he said. "Like you just came down from the Astronomy Tower or something. You always come down with that ‘I saw the universe and it answered me with riddles’ expression."
There was a brief, low laugh, and you barely heard it. Because it wasn’t the laugh you had been expecting.
Remus, however, didn’t joke. He carefully closed the book, turning it with one hand, and looked at you with a more serious expression. More attentive. As if something about you didn’t quite fit. "Did you have another strange dream?" he asked, in a lower voice, almost soft.
And there you stayed. Watching them. Listening to them. Feeling the warmth of the fire in the room, the hum of hundreds of conversations, the clinking of cups and plates. Everything was so real, so intensely real, that it hurt.
But you didn’t know how to answer them.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to speak. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust them or that you felt entirely out of place. But there was something inside you, a subtle and stubborn force, that kept you on pause. Not because you couldn’t respond, but because you were still waiting. Waiting for someone else to sit down. To appear amidst the murmur of voices, coming down the stairs with that untamable and luminous energy that seemed to drag everything behind it. Waiting for a half-smile, a sarcastic phrase thrown into the air as a greeting, as a habit, as a promise that the day truly started now.
Someone who, in some way, should have been there.
Because he had always been there.
You had that certainty without knowing where it came from. It was an intuition, a need rooted deep in your chest. You couldn’t name it. You couldn’t justify it. You only felt it, insistent, clear, like the pulse of a memory that refuses to die.
But the space in front of you remained empty.
The bench, the table, the air... everything was the same. Just as it should be. As if nothing was missing.
And no one noticed.
No one asked about him.
No glance was cast at the empty seat.
No gesture of waiting, no "Has anyone seen James?"
Nothing.
As if that space had never been occupied by anyone.
As if the universe was perfectly aligned, perfectly ordered… without him.
And that was what hurt the most.
A quick, sharp pang pierced your chest. For what should be there but wasn’t. For the absence that no one seemed to notice, except you. Because you still didn’t know what exactly was wrong.
You still didn’t have the words, or the proof, or the courage to break the logic of that perfect world. You only knew one thing. Something was missing. And without that something, everything else, no matter how beautiful or familiar it seemed... was incomplete.
⋆˚☆˖°⋆。° ✮˖ ࣪ ⊹⋆.˚⋆˚☆˖°⋆。° ✮˖ ࣪ ⊹⋆.˚
You clung to Lily as if she were a rope holding you from falling into the abyss. You didn’t do it consciously. At first, you did it out of necessity. Because you didn’t know where to go after breakfast. Because every hallway split into stairs that moved on their own will, because the portraits talked to you, and you didn’t know whether you should respond. Because the names of the subjects, the spells, the rules... they were part of a language that your body seemed to speak, but your mind couldn’t quite grasp. She, on the other hand, seemed to know everything: which class they had to go to, where to turn in the hallways, which stairs to avoid because they changed direction without warning, even the tone to use when greeting professors to avoid raising suspicion.
And you could only follow her.
The first class was Charms. You entered the classroom with your eyes wide open, trying to hide your confusion, but every detail seemed to amplify your disconnect. The quills wrote by themselves. The chairs aligned by themselves. A student at the back cast small bursts of light from the tip of his wand without the professor batting an eye. And you... you held your wand as if it were a borrowed object, foreign, something you should remember how to use, but couldn’t.
“Everything okay?” Lily murmured when she noticed you glancing at her from the corner of your eye.
You nodded. You didn’t want to alarm her. You didn’t want to seem even more out of place.
During the class, you copied everything Lily wrote. You tried to imitate how she held her wand, how she moved her wrist with each spell. Some students managed to levitate quills with a simple “Wingardium Leviosa,” while you could barely make yours tremble. Still, no one made fun of you. It was as if everyone was used to you being... you. And for some reason, that unsettled you even more.
Next came Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, and a break for lunch in the Great Hall, where you sat next to Lily without straying from her side. You ate in silence, watching as others laughed, joked, greeted each other by name. They sounded vaguely familiar, but you didn’t know why. And the worst part was that everyone seemed to know you. As if you were playing a part in a play that had already started years ago... and you were just now reading the script for the first time.
Every corner of the castle seemed to be tinted with a faint déjà vu, like a melody you had heard as a child and forgotten almost entirely. The moving stairs, the portraits that greeted you, the suits of armor sneezing dust when you passed. Nothing truly felt strange... but nothing felt like it was yours.
In the afternoon, during Potions, Lily gave you a concerned look when you mistook a bezoar for a valerian root and nearly blew up your cauldron. She didn’t say anything, but she moved closer to you, as if sensing that something was out of place, even if she didn’t know what. You just thanked her silently. And clung to her even more.
You spent the rest of the day as if walking on an invisible tightrope, not daring to separate from Lily for even a second. Wherever she went, you went. She talked to professors, to classmates, to prefects. You nodded, pretended to understand, repeated phrases like borrowed echoes. As if you memory didn’t belong to you.
But the most unsettling thing wasn’t not knowing who you were here.
The truly unbearable thing was knowing that someone was missing.
You felt their absence in every corner.
In the hallways.
In the benches of the Great Hall.
In the study table at the library.
It was as if a space beside you was reserved for someone who hadn’t arrived. Or worse... that no one remembered.
When classes were over, you walked together down the seventh-floor corridor toward the Gryffindor tower. The castle began to transform under the light of the setting sun: the gray walls took on orange, almost golden hues, and the shadows stretched out as if trying to touch the ground gently. The display cases, the portraits, even the suits of armor... everything seemed calmer, slower. As if time were stretching just a little to let you breathe.
And for the first time all day, you felt something like peace.
A silent truce between you and this universe you still didn’t fully understand.
“Do you want to go to the library for a while, or would you rather stay in the common room?” Lily suddenly asked, stretching her arms above her head with a lazy motion that made her shoulders crack.
Your response was automatic, without filters or reflection: “Wherever you go.”
Lily slowly turned her head, looking at you over her shoulder. There was a playful spark in her green eyes, a mix of surprise and amusement that softened her features. “You’re clingy today, huh?”
You shrugged, trying to make the smile you offered her not seem as exhausted as you felt. You didn’t say anything else. Because you didn’t know how to explain it to her. You didn’t know how to tell her that, in the middle of this beautiful and foreign world, she was your anchor. Your reference. The only constant. That her voice, her gestures, her laughter made you feel — even if just for moments — like you weren’t completely alone.
Because no matter how everyone treated you as if you were part of this world... you knew you weren’t.
Because you didn’t know the hallways. Or the secret shortcuts, or the key words to open portraits everyone whispered with ease. You didn’t know the exact schedules, or the unwritten rules that seemed to float in the air, shared by all like a language you still didn’t speak. You didn’t know the answers they gave naturally in class, or the inside jokes, or the codes they exchanged with a glance.
But you knew something more important.
You knew you could trust Lily Evans.
You didn’t know why, or how you knew. But there was something in the way she spoke to you, in how she didn’t judge your silence, in how she treated you with familiarity that wasn’t heavy. It was as if, without knowing it, she was protecting you. Holding you. Offering an invisible rope so you wouldn’t get completely lost in this world that wasn’t yours... yet it enveloped you with the strength of an un-lived memory.
That day, you didn’t stray from her for even a second.
In the library, you shared a wooden table by a tall window. Outside, the rain began to softly drum against the glass, and Lily wrote quickly, her quill gliding confidently over the parchment. You pretended to read, your eyes fixed on an open book that you didn’t register, simply enjoying the sound of her quill, the rustling of the pages, the comfortable silence between you.
At dinner, sitting among other students in the bustle of the Great Hall, you talked about simple things. Pending assignments, upcoming exams, casual comments about the last Quidditch practice, which, according to Lily, had been a disaster. You nodded, smiled, laughed when others laughed. And for a moment, for several moments, you felt like you belonged. Like the unfamiliar rhythm had adopted you, like your steps didn’t sound so out of place anymore.
And later, in the common room, when the fire crackled in the heart and the sofas filled with tired bodies, you huddled next to each other, sharing a blanket and a bit of that warm silence that only comes at the end of the day. The flames cast shadows that danced on the stone walls, and you thought you could stay like that forever. Right there, in that frozen moment. If it meant you didn’t have to search anymore. If that was enough to fill the gap.
But it wasn’t enough.
Because deep down — where certainties live, even when you deny them — you know.
That emptiness was still there.
Invisible, insistent.
That subtle space in the group, in the routine, in the very air.
That name no one mentioned.
That seat that was never occupied.
That laugh your body kept waiting to hear, even though your mind didn’t know how to remember it.
James.
The world could be complete for everyone else.
It could spin smoothly, as if nothing were missing.
But for you, something — someone — still wasn’t where they should be.
And although you didn’t know how, when, or why... you felt it with a painful clarity:
You were going to find him.
Or he was going to find you.
⋆˚☆˖°⋆。° ✮˖ ࣪ ⊹⋆.˚⋆˚☆˖°⋆。° ✮˖ ࣪ ⊹⋆.˚
There are absences that don’t come from forgetting, but from other timelines.
Presences that should be there, filling their exact place in the story, but that the universe—in its strange, unshakable wisdom—chooses to hold back a little longer.
They’re not ghosts. Not shadows.
They’re heartbeats that haven’t arrived yet. Laughter that hasn’t quite learned how to echo in this world, but that your soul recognizes with an aching kind of certainty.
Because some connections defy logic. They don’t care for calendars or memory.
They’re threads spun from the pulse of the universe itself.
And you knew it. You felt it, buried deep in your chest:
That absence wasn’t a loss.
It was a promise.
An invisible thread stretched between stars. A name waiting to be spoken. A call that had not yet been answered.
And even if the world spun on without him, even if no one else noticed the space that remained unfilled—you did.
Because some meetings don’t depend on time.
They are bound to the rhythm of what must be.
#marauders era#james potter#james fleamont potter#marauders#hp marauders#james potter x reader#x reader#james potter imagine#james potter x you#foolexby#the marauders
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If you're still doing them!
Top Five Gears of War WTF moments
oh I'm always doing them if anyone wants to ask me any bc lists are fun :D
also, this was SO HARD omg. favorite moments would've been so much easier, or funny or sad ones lmao, but wtf moments?? I even called my brother to brainstorm lol. so idk if these all count properly but they at least have a little bit of wtf to them :'D
okay so this was my immediate thought when I saw the ask: when Marcus sees the Brumak and goes all "Yeah we should ride it." :'D I literally laughed out loud in amused disbelief lmao it was great.
it was also a kind of a "wtf for real?" moment when I realized that once they ended up inside the worm thing they would just run around inside it lol. it was also cool to take it down from the inside! but also weird :'D
the snatchers from gears 4 were also a wtf is that thing moment for me because of how they just... carry you around digesting you until you're either freed or dead? yeahhh wasn't expecting that!
Baird's plan to drop the masses of tickers in the crate down to take care of the big baddie? yeah I had my doubts but boy knew what he was doing :'D
uhm this is more a sad wtf moment but Tai's death really made me collect my jaw from the floor I did not expect it to happen or happen like it did. he deserved better :(
thank you for asking! altho this was hard it was also fun :D 💖
#mismultifandommess#ask and i shall answer#meme thingy#the ask me my top5 anything thingy#i've only played gears 1-4 once#so i might not remember everything super well#as much as i loved them
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Calculating characters’ ages so they fit into the timeline of the fic my beloathed.
#Personal#Was Born To Lead#OKAY#If I calculated everything right Felicia might appear in the flashbacks or at least be mentioned in one of the next chapters of WBTL#I pretend she was Elena’s peer or 1-2 years older/younger than her so she’s around 60 years old in season 3#I need the period of her life when she still danced aka when Ricardo was still alive#And I pretend he was around 30-35 when it happened because he actually looks pretty young#Anyway if he was older that’s not super bad because I can easily adjust my characters’ ages a little#unless he was older than forty tho#And if he was younger it makes things a lot more complicated#Ugh integrating your own characters and the ideas you have for them into canon and make them interact with the canon characters is hard T_T#(only if you care about canon otherwise you can easily screw everything up and be happy)#Honestly I didn’t even think of including Felicia but I recently rewatched all the Spirit World episodes#because I need to remember more of the Spirit World lore#(for reasons~)#and I realized that she might complement one of my characters’ arcs quite well#Complement not expand#And generally I’d like to have more canon characters in my fic even if they’re minor#Ajshdkkd and about Flower of Light again#You’re gonna hear the story of my stupidness#So I needed to find a Latin American dance that wouldn’t be a partner dance because I needed one of my characters to dance it alone#And oh my goodness I found zapateado!!! I spent so much time for that and felt so so smart and proud then!#And then I rewatched Flower of Light#Ricardo and Felicia danced zapateado the exact same dance that I found#I completely forgot they already had this dance in the show#I could easily save the time I spent for searching by just rewatching the show T_T#I felt SO stupid then really :’D#I just should rewatch the entire show to pay more attention to all the little Latin American things they put there#It will make my writer’s life significantly easier
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I think if I ever met a system/anyone with DID, OSDD, etc I would never actually be able to tell… I have really bad memory for details about people so I wouldn’t really notice many if any discrepancies. I also can’t recognize personalities as anything concrete (unless it’s super obvious), two totally different alters could be out on the same day and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Worst I’d interpret would be a mood swing.
Especially since most systems’ alters mask as the host- some r better than others but usually the ones worse at masking aren’t out very often (to my knowledge)
#I’m doomed#I would love to meet a system and get to know the alters#but I know it’s super complicated and me getting excited over my psych spin might be interpreted as downplaying trauma or experiences#or worse commodifying alters#and I’d get overwhelmed. I can hardly survive having like 10 friends#how will I remember the names pronouns and personalities of a ton of alters who use the same body??????????#oh well open communication is key I guess#maybe autism and DID/OSDD don’t always mesh well#y’know like autistic inability to read cues and trauma response hyper vigilance and protectiveness…#the list goes on#I may or may not be vagueposting about someone irl who I suspect#I’m close w the alleged host so I hope it’d be fine#but they’re probably not to the level of OSDD or DID tho#just trauma related dissociation#I would hope at least I know some systems are happy and accepting of their plurality but being a system is traumatizing for many#ough#they said they were questioning if they were autistic too#didn’t give me those vibes but I honestly don’t know#traumatized autistic people mask like hell#I def don’t know everything abt them#I’d love to talk to them abt it tooooooo but they said they’re not ready to think abt it#idk I’ll text them to say they can bring it up with me whenever#I’m always happy to talk about autism with other people lol#especially people who are realizing it for themselves…….#I have been the source of at least 1 autistic revelation#whooo that was a lot of tags#anyway it’s 1:32 so goodnight#I’m glad I know about DID/OSDD tho because like what if I did meet an overt system#I bet lots of people interpret that as like schotzpphrenia or something#which is valid in its own right
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basicallyheres the thing. i dont rly want to be immortal like me currently i probably wouldnt rly enjoy that. howeverrr if i got time travelled back to like the beginning of life on earth and was immortal i think i would have a good time bc im a curious girl. even just back to the birth of humanity or civilization... i just wannasee i wouldnt even do anything crazy with my immortality id just like. take a lot of notes abt everything
#ig travel might be an issue like if there r 2 places i wanna be but on 2 different sides of the world id have 2 pick one... which sucks.#like since im immortal i could just like Walk along the bottom of oceans lmao not that big of a deal. but itd take a while....#and if this happened i dont think id go crazy or whatever bc i ust simply wouldnt have any loved ones to watch die. id just be peeking in o#everything and having fun..... and the dressup would be super fun too#nik likeee the human brain fr cant remember that much stuff if i lived for that long id fr forget but 1. this is a timetravel immortality#fantasy world i can take creative liberties vis a vis my brain capacity and 2. Brother thats why id write everything down.. so later i coul#be like omggg i miss the byzantine empire. and read the diary and jog my memory'#obvious issue is. well. books dont last that long so id have to rewrite them on newer parchment#unless i find a fuck off huge cave and learn how to etch thatd be rather timeless#but also if ppl found it theyd be Oh so confused. bc theyd be like um ... these markings are in languages from throughout the world and#across thousands of years and they range in age from like prehistory to modern day . so whats up with that.. and theyd try to investigate m#and shit which would suck.
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copycat | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem reader
they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but really it's just annoying
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
note: sorry to all of the chloes of the world, i just chose a random name!
f1tea



liked by user1, user2 and 27,305 others
tagged: yourusername, chloereed
f1tea: SHE STRIKES AGAIN! y/n y/ln, oscar piastri's girlfriend, recently changed up her style with some bangs and surprise, surprise chloe reed shared her updated look just days later. then to really pour salt in the wound, reed posted yet again in mclaren merch. will she ever give up?
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user3: BRO YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAITED AT LEAST A WEEK?
user4: i think all subtlety was lost when she copied a literal TATTOO
user5: the way it's y/n's tattoo dedicated to oscar as well...
user6: at what point do we get a restraining order?
user7: the day that girl ends up in the paddock we should let y/n fight her with no consequences
user8: this has been going on for so long i feel like y/n has a lot to unleash on her
user9: at this point i think all of us y/n fans should be able to get their lick in
user10: i'm new to f1 can someone explain this lore to me? (srs)
user11: y/n and oscar have been together for nearly four years now, they got together when they were like 19. this chloe reed girl went on one date with oscar when they were 17 and now copies everything y/n does to try and get his attention? like down to haircut and tattoos ... it's kinda crazy and y/n has made some references to it but like we're nearing like the third year of this so i think she might snap soon
user12: it's even got to the point where chloe has like started talking with y/n's accent? she has a very obvious accent so like it's INSANE
user13: and to think all of this over a single date SIX YEARS AGO
user14: on a brighter note - y/n was MADE for bangs they look so fucking good
user15: obviously she should stop but if there's anyone you want to look like, it would be y/n
user16: at this point is it even over oscar anymore? or has chloe lost herself to journey to BECOME y/n
user17: the fact that she still camps out under all of oscar's posts and constantly posts in mclaren merch
user18: and don't even get me started with how she's always in the comments of oscar's sisters' comments
user19: someone needs to get nicole to put this girl on blast
user20: remember before elon took away public likes that mark went on a liking spree about chloe being a lil weirdo
yourusername



liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant and 1,209,566 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris & maxfewtrell
yourusername: summer breakin' with my boy (and his boy)
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user24: MAMA THERE'S A BITCH TRYNA BE JUST LIKE YOU 💜
user25: i unfortunately think she's very aware of it
oscarpiastri: i know you love me because you didn't get annoyed about THEM gatecrashing our couples getaway
landonorris: what if we are a couple HUH???
oscarpiastri: max literally has a girlfriend?
landonorris: ur so close-minded osc
yourusername: i love you osc even with these little stray cats you've picked up
landonorris: did we or did we not organise a super romantic dinner for you?
oscarpiastri: i organised a dinner and you two are so fussy that you left to find some chicken nuggets?
landonorris: therefore giving you a romantic evening on the water?
yourusername: you fell in the water trying to get back on board from the tender and i had to jump in and save you after a fish touched your foot and you began to have a panic attack
landonorris: god you do something nice for people and all you get is SHAMED
mclarenf1: you nearly drowned ???
user26: is chloe going to attempt to drown someone so she can claim she also saved an f1 driver
user27: @georgerussell63 alert the GDPA - NO WATER !!!
georgerussell63: understood 🫡
user28: has it not gotten to a crazy point now that we're warning drivers that this crazy girl might DROWN them ???
user29: at what point do we put oscar and y/n is witness protection
user30: the day she manages to get in the paddock me thinks
charles_leclerc: i see our invite got lost in the mail?
yourusername: please refer to whatever the fuck was going above your comment
charles_leclerc: that you're a victim of identity theft?
yourusername: we been known, but BEFORE THAT
charles_leclerc: oh. you should've let lando drown
landonorris: ???
oscarpiastri: i think that might have gotten me fired?
yourusername: no more papaya rules?
chloereed



liked by user31, user32 and 11,045 others
chloereed: summer breakin'
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user33: oh brother this guy STINKS
user34: i am feeling sufficiently creeped out on the behalf of y/n and oscar
user35: i really don't understand her game here though? does she expect oscar to see this and actually mistake her for y/n and leave y/n for her?
user36: at this point i think she's lost in the sauce
user37: also oscar is hilariously down bad for y/n like he could probably recognise her via vibrational field he would not fall for this cheap imitation
logansargeant: this ain't it btw (it's never been it)
user38: not logan tapping in
logansargeant: who gon check me boo? i ain't got a job
chloereed: i don't know what you're trying to say, but i don't appreciate you spreading misinformation and hate
logansargeant: you have literally copied everything about my best friend down to her sentimental tattoos and you've essentially stalked my other bestfriend for nearly seven years ?
chloereed: it's not stalking if i know i'm what he really wants? she's the imitation of me
logansargeant: you like need help
user39: GO LOGAN
user40: bro has been let of the leash
user41: tbf when you think about it, logan has been friends with oscar for years and by default friends with y/n for just as long so like he's probably seen how this has effected them personally
user42: i don't really see how this is such a big deal, people try and imitate celebs all the time ?
user43: i think it's because she knows at least one of them personally and is very viciously pursuing oscar
user44: also there has to be an aspect we don't know because i don't think logan would be publicly taking her on in the comments if it weren't a lot worse
user45: also ... like it probably feels like shit as a person generally to have everything you do copied and not even get a tiny bit of credit
f1



liked by danielricciardo, patooward and 1,784,039 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri
f1: we're ready for you monza
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user46: OMG IS THAT?
user47: i'm being so for real y/n needs to fight her
user48: OSCAR RUNNNNNNNNN
landonorris: do i need to inform the legal department?
yourusername: you might want to give them some sort of heads up
chloereed: why you afraid i'll steal back my man?
yourusername: no i'm afraid i'll get hit with a manslaughter charge
chloereed: that's a threat - my lawyers will be hearing
yourusername: tell them bitch, oscar would still choose conjugal visits with me over ever being with you
user49: came for the fast cars, staying for whatever this drama is omg
user50: i once went on a reddit deep dive about this drama where they compiled all the evidence and holy moly this confrontation has been a long time coming
user51: the best (or maybe worse) thing abotu all of this is that her claim of being with oscar first and dating him when they were 17 is based on one 'date' where is was just a joint ball between their schools where there was a compulsory dance in which they were partners
maxverstappen1: yo this shit is insane
user52: aren't you meant to be in the car in 20 minutes?
maxverstappen1: drama waits for no one @yourusername i got ur back
charles_leclerc: at this point i will mobilise the tifosi @yourusername
yourusername: i can handle her, i might just need some money to fix my nails
oscarpiastri: please do not fight her, she's not worth it
chloereed: she won't fight for your love but i will
oscarpiastri: can you just fuck off
user53: i fear she's pushed them over the edge now lol
user54: i'm glad they're both letting her have it in the PUBLIC INSTAGRAM COMMENTS <3
f1tea



liked by user55, user56 and 34,982 others
f1tea: she's finally done it? chloe reed was spotted in the paddock at monza. will we finally see a confrontation between the two girls?
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user55: i FUCKING hope so
user56: if i were y/n you'd have to hold me back i'm being so serious
user57: i'd be in oscar's mclaren so fast and be driving down the pit lane to look for her
user58: i'd already be in an italian prison sorry not sorry
user59: y/n needs to give me lessons on being this graceful
user60: at this point we should just have an undercard for the race that's these girls tussling it out
user61: at this point i think logan, charles and max are ready to jump in
user62: charles and max being in the comments just before FP getting the scoop is so insane i love them
user63: imagine getting these f1 drivers this pressed over an aesthetic
user64: if you think this is just about an aesthetic you're just being dumb on purpose
user65: but like y/n is just a girl with bangs and a basic look, u could say like half of the female population are copying y/n
user66: but like please look at the actual evidence, it's way deeper than bangs babe
user67: also the TATTOO WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE TATTOO
user68: whatever happens y/n will always be better than me
user69: she needs to bash her publicly if she won't beat her physically lol
oscarpiastri



liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 3,984,022 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: please leave us alone, you'll never be her and i don't want you to be
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user71: STUNT ON THEM QUEEN
user72: a man who vocally defends you >>>
yourusername: love you bby
oscarpiastri: if anyone wants to take me away from you they'll have to defeat me in combat
yourusername: not saying i want that but you would be so sexy in full armour
oscarpiastri: for you... i would wear anything :3
user73: bro said his piece and immediately went back to simping like a pro
user74: if he doesn't offer to wear a suit of armour in the bedroom is he really in love with you?
user75: i guess we're not getting any dad!oscar content any time soon
landonorris: ???
user75: it's a joke about protected sex genius
landonorris: OH
chloereed: that's not what you said then oscar
oscarpiastri: THAT WAS SIX YEARS AGO IN A CONVERSATION I WAS OBLIGATED TO HAVE GET A GRIP WOMAN
oscarpiastri: YOU WILL NEVER FEEL SATISFACTION IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU CONTINUE TO COPY EVERYTHING SHE DOES AND REFUSE TO BE YOUR OWN PERSON
oscarpiastri: so PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE US ALONE
oscarpiastri: oh. i'm blocked
oscarpiastri: slay
user76: so ... oscar... when can we get this level of reading on the radio
yourusername: don't make him do community service :(
user77: but him being sassy is a service to the community
yourusername: you make a good point
yourusername



liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,045,677 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: you can be a copy cat all you like, but you'll never beat the original
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user78: i am sorry i exist at the same time as you
user79: i know this a whole love post but i have a confession, i am IN LOVE WITH YOU GET RID OF THE AUSSIE
oscarpiastri: 🤨
charles_leclerc: this was a whole saga, i'm happy it's all worked out for you guys but this was hella entertaining - when can we do it again?
yourusername: never again hopefully
charles_leclerc: boring!
yourusername: it literally got to the point that you offered to leave your car keys in a 'special spot'
charles_leclerc: well obviously i don't mean to THAT extent but i just want a bit of drama, let a girl live
user80: shit stirrer charles leclerc i love you
user81: we should've known he was in the trenches with this, the inchident knows no bounds
oscarpiastri: i love you and i'm sorry this happened. but you do slay so i could see why people would want to be you
yourusername: i knew me with bangs would be too powerful 😔
oscarpiastri: you're the most beautiful girl in the world no matter what
yourusername: ugh you have me blushing pretty boy
landonorris: cringe
yourusername: maybe if you copied oscar's flirting techniques you'd actually be wifed
landonorris: i thought we just established that copying is bad
yourusername: trust me, you need the help
user82: i'm glad we've returned to peace with the lando slander
user83: they're power is insane
maxverstappen1: can i say helping you come up with this caption is my community service
yourusername: fuck yes
maxverstappen1: stunting on hoes is very much in the public interest
fin.
note: i'm back in a rhythm !! this is not so subtle so i'll expand here: please please please do not steal my work, idc if you change the driver, if you're blatantly stealing my ideas and concepts - to the point that people are messaging me to make me aware, please don't! or at least credit me rather than pretending this a completely original thought. mamma mia didn't bother me as much because it's obviously the musical's idea, but omg undercover verstappen? big reputation? and guilty as sin - down to the series name? i haven't made any posts about this but know it's very much bothering me and if i see anymore i may have to put it on blast. thank you all for reading, soz for the rant but this has been going on for months.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri social media au
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so theres a lot of posts going round about the titanic wreck and the missing submarines; all of them that ive seen have made very good points about how shoddy the submersible seemed to be and how the company decided to wait eight hours before reporting it, and how this is a play stupid games, win stupid prizes for the ultra-wealthy who paid like 250grand a ticket for this thing.
but what i havent seen any posts about is how the titanic wreck is a gravesite and this tourism is disturbing the graves of over 1500 people.
sometimes its kinda hard to remember that those on the titanic were real people; it was over a century ago, the story has been romanticised in so many ways (like the movie), theres conspiracies theories galore that cloud everything with misinformation, but at the end of the day, those who died were real people.
do you want their names? heres a list of them; its a long read. and for fun, heres another site where you can see photos of the children and babies who died aboard.
their bodies are long gone and their lives long forgotten. all we have to remember them and honour them is the wreck itself. its all we have of them and it is their gravesite. its their tombstone.
caitlin doughty/ask a morticians video on the great lakes discusses the topic well, and why we should leave these shipwrecks alone because again, they are the gravesites of all the souls who died aboard those ships. we rarely have bodies to recover so we really are left just with the wreck.
and what really upsets me about titanic tourism is how the majority of those who died that night were not the ultra-wealthy rich folks you might picture when you think of ocean liners.
61% of the first class passengers survived
42% of the second class passengers survived
24% of the third class passengers survived
24% of the crew survived **
the majority of those who died that night were regular folk; not to be cliche, but they were just like us. titanics wreck is not only a gravesite for over 1500 people, its also a majority working class gravesite.
and look at us now. look at what were doing. the ultra-wealthy can pay the equivalent of peanuts to them to disturb a mass gravesite of the exact kind of people they exploit today to hold onto all their wealth.
its easy to point and laugh at these dumb idiots in their playstation controller submarine, seemingly held together with super glue and duct tape, but its also important to remember that what they were doing was simply disturbing a gravesite for fun. though the company does research, these guys werent down there to conduct research, they were there so they could brag about it to their friends. its like “climbing mount everest” while your sherpa does all the work.
if you cant tell, i have a lot of feelings about this. shipwrecks and ocean liners are one of my special interests and im currently building a (beginner’s) model of the titanic, for fucks sake. but i would never go down to see that wreck because its a fucking gravesite and we should not be disturbing their final resting place.
#kai rambles#long post#i guess?#titanic#titanic wreck#oceangate#titan#titan sub#submarine#tw death#classism#capitalism#capitalist bullshit#exploitation#mass graves#tw mass graves#shipwrecks#oceangate expeditions#stockton rush#hamish harding#tourism#i have so many thoughts on shipwrecks because there are many you can actually explore#but as far as im concerned i really dont think you should if people died when that ship sank#you wanna go explore ss america? go for it#but titanic or the fitz? no#its a gravesite and we should be respecting those who died rather than rooting around their fucking graves#im upset and angry and just you know feeling A Lot#but also if you ever need titanic facts or stuff in this realm my askbox is always open and also go check out oceanliner designs on yt#shipposting
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ placements that feel like a fairytale ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
🧚pisces venus - "i've walked with you once upon a dream," such an exceptional place for venus and a very good lover. thoughtful and remembers little things about somebody. gives even when they have nothing. venus is exalted here, which strengthens the power of venus. rosed-colored glasses, natural lovers. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚neptune in 1st/2nd/7th/9th - 1st/ dreamy appearance, "i wish i could look like you," "i don't know if i wanna be you or be with you," wins people over, sometimes unaware of their influence, stands out in a room full of people. 2nd/ "you sound so sweet," delicate voices, gives the best compliments or receives unique compliments, gets money for no reason or gives money for no reason, very questionable kind of person but it is a likable feature about them. 7th/ unpredictable in love, "tag you're it," loves the chase and the longevity of a new/fresh relationship. people wish they could be with you or have had dreams/thoughts of pursuing you. sometimes people might drop many hints but never say. 9th/ super underrated, people feel elevated in your energy, you bring out a new lens to others, your ability to change and only get better overtime seems super unreal. the type to go mia and then randomly appear in a fancy italian restaurant with 1 million dollars and a rich spouse. they think it and it is, very big planners and attractive to the outside. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚sun in 5th/7th - 5th/ their love is their passion, and their self-expression is one that is bold and unique. this is your "entertainer," placement, understands the role they play in this life. courageous in their love and give an experience that one will never have again. 7th/ people-person, revolves around being open-minded and naturally attracting friends, partners, and even some enemies. a very commendable individual. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚libra/taurus rising - the symbols of beauty and allurance. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚cancer sun - exudes a tender warmth to others. "wifey material, mom friend, therapist," has probably heard it all. cancer sun has seen the vulnerability of everybody they have met, there's a strong trust here and their strength is undeniable. think of fairy godmother. has an emotional depth that allows others to easily fall for them. double points if it is a man with a cancer sun; women will admire this difference about you from other men. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚libra moon - pretty when you cry, everyone stops to hear you talk, such a mediating and magnetic energy, wears their heart on their sleeve and can empathize very well with others they have nothing in common with. all about fairness and equity, wants to be the peacekeeper in most situations. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚venus in 11th/2nd/7th - 11h/ friends will admire you and pick up on your aesthetic and can even try to "become" the same way. you make people feel really good and you are inspiring. 2nd/ you are well kept and seem orderly. soft voice, soft appearance, and loves to smother themselves and others with little gestures. 7th/ ideal partner placement, looking for love in everything they do, has very good connections and dazzles their flirt onto everybody they meet. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚personal planets in 4, 7, 12, 16, 19, 24, 27 degrees - these are libra, cancer, and pisces degrees, can amplify these placements by sprinkling on some of these signs qualities. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚neptune conjunct/ trine sun - dreamy-esque, can't keep you off my mind, is it love is it lust? naturally charming and independent. knows how they make others feel, giving others a sense of hope that makes them cling on forever. usually, the favorite boy or girl for somebody. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚venus conjunct moon/neptune - awareness to what relationships might require, or what other people want out of you. knows how to express themselves properly, can be sweet/seductive one minute, then manipulative/moody the next. likes to change up their style for their partner; very intimate and puts their partner's needs first. will be super feminine for their loved one. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚midheaven conjunt/trine/sextile neptune or venus - enhanced beauty in the public eye. people want to be around you and there's maybe some type of distance between you and your lovers- which makes relationships so much more intriguing. "i've got my eye on you." these people love makeup, jewelry, skin care, anything to appear ideal. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚virgo midheaven - seen as a damsel in distress sometimes; but they are elegant and reserved. they are the ones that people usually rely on and open up to the fastest. their fairytale qualities come from how they act rather than how they speak. they will make sure you are covered and will attract you with their practicality and realness. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚virgo venus - has a purified perception of love, very service oriented and even shy. they are slow and steady in terms of love language, however a virgo venus will always make sure their partner only gets the best. they want to make everything perfect for their significant other, which makes the virgo venus placement seem so admirable. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚cancer venus - soft, sweet, and giving. full of the feminine and embodies the nurturer archetype. magnetic to the opposite sex; babe magnet, and usually wear pastel colors or colors that are bright. they don't like to make themselves unknown to the idea of love. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚moon/neptune in 5th - has such a childlike approach to the world, very full of nostalgia and is deep-rooted in being memorable for others. oftentimes moon in 5th has a dramatized identity about themselves, which gives the fairytale vibes because it can feel almost surreal. neptune can also have this affect, neptune 5th might always get "i wish you were here," or "where's so and so," very memorable and such sweet and delicate impressions to the public. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
🧚sun in 9th - would take their partners through all kinds of experiences, the kind of people to take you higher and change your mind-set on various subjects. very underrated placement and i find it quite fairy-tale like due to the fact that there's always some form of expansion for these individuals and you can see and feel their inner glow when they are in new environments. usually, can have foreigners or various kinds of people fall for them, they quite literally shine in new horizons. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀
thank you for reading <3
#astrology#astro notess#astrology observations#astro tumblr#venus#neptune#fairy tail#fairy tale aesthetic#Spotify
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from friends to forever ; jake 'hangman' seresin
fandom: top gun
pairing: jake x reader
summary: childhood friends to lovers - you've been in love with hangman for as long as you can remember, but he's never looked at you that way, not until he meets a guy you're dating for the first time and everything you thought was unrequited becomes dangerously mutual
notes: okay, i really need to stop writing at work and actually start working but also THIS!!! i started without a plan and then got super excited and went a little over the 8k limit i set for myself... but i still really hope y'all like it! please let me know what you think!
warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, text screenshots, a bit cheesy, reader is shorter than hangman (feel like i should mention that), bob x phoenix, and a little horny? let me know if i've missed anything!
word count: 9016
“He is fucking incorrigible,” Javy says as he slides a tray of beers across the table. “He started hitting on this woman by the juke box but then her boyfriend walked through the door, so he moved on to the blonde at the bar.”
You smile into the first sip of your beer while Natasha and Bob crane their necks to see where Jake might be. The bar is busy for 5PM on a Wednesday, but not overly packed. The sun is just about to touch the horizon, casting a warm glow through the beach-side windows. It’s only Bob, Javy, and Nat with you this afternoon. The others are still at the base finishing some training course that they didn’t do with the rest of the squad last week. Jake was with you too, but he quickly found himself preoccupied with the bar’s female clientele.
“I can’t believe anyone would put up with him for as long as you have,” Natasha says, nodding toward you.
You shrug as you roll your pint glass between both hands. “I’ve learnt to ignore it.”
You’ve known Jake Seresin since you were ten years old; that was when your mother first invited the Seresins over for dinner. Jake’s mother had just started working with yours, and they’d quickly become best friends. Ever since then, you’ve never been able to escape him – not that you’ve ever really tried to.
When you turned twelve you finally realised why your heart would always beat a little faster whenever you saw Jake, and then when you turned fourteen you realised how easy it would be for him to break it. At sixteen you decided to stop obsessing over him and date someone else, but by eighteen you figured out that Jake had set your standards for men way too high.
As years passed you learnt how to better hide your affections for Jake. He was a ladies’ man through and through, which meant you couldn’t go crying to your pillow every time he showed up with a new woman on his arm. You tried to date, but it never really went all that well because by the third or fourth month, you were comparing them too harshly to your best friend.
When Jake joined the navy, you accepted the fact that you would never see him again, but he didn’t let that happen. As it turns out, Jake was just as attached to you as you were to him – minus the ‘in love’ part. He wrote to you and called you, and he would visit whenever he was stateside. You were already living in San Diego when he got assigned to the special detachment on North Island, and when he and his squad got asked to stick around, you quickly became close friends with all of them.
You like to think that you have your stupid little crush on Jake Seresin well under control now. It’s in a small, metal box wrapped in chains and hidden in the darkest corner of your heart. It’s so well hidden now that you’re positive none of the daggers have any idea of what your true feelings for Jake are. You don’t even flinch anymore when he jokingly introduces you as his sister.
“And this is my sister,” Jake says, gesturing to you with one arm while the other stays wrapped around the blonde woman. “The one I was telling you about.”
You give the woman a flat smile before bringing your beer to your lips and taking a generous gulp.
“Shelley and I were just going to go for a walk on the beach,” he adds.
You nod, knowing exactly what that means. “I’ll get a lift home with Phoenix.”
His smirk stretches into a full-blown grin, one that Shelley can’t seem to look away from. “You’re the best.”
“I know.”
He bids the rest of the group farewell before leading the woman out the door, and you definitely don’t miss the way his hand slides down to her ass on the way.
Natasha shakes her head. “I can’t believe him sometimes. How often does he do this to you?”
You quirk a brow. “Ditch me for a hot woman?”
She nods.
“Nat, if I had a dollar for every time, I’d quit my job and move to the Amalfi Coast.”
“And it doesn’t bother you?” Bob asks.
Yes.
“No, it’s just Jake.” You shrug one shoulder. “I’m used to it.”
Javy tips his head quizzically. “So, why does he introduce you as his sister?”
You take another long sip of your beer, almost draining the glass, before plonking it back on the table. “The first time he decided to keep a girl around for longer than one night, she didn’t like how close we were. She’d always try to go through his phone and would blow up every time he said he was hanging out with me. It only lasted six months, but now he just does it out of habit. Just in case they do end up sticking around for a while, then he doesn’t have to explain anything.”
You conveniently leave out the detail about how Jake had ditched the woman one night to rescue you from a bad date, which was definitely the catalyst for her hating you. But you don’t talk about that night.
Natasha rolls her eyes. “That’s ridiculous."
You’re not sure what to say to that because you’ve never not felt a pinch of jealousy when it comes to Jake, and you sure as shit wouldn’t want to share him with anyone else if he was yours. So, you can’t really blame those other women for not liking how close the two of you are.
You sit in the same booth with your friends until the sun dips below the horizon. The bar only gets a little busier before clearing out almost completely by 8PM, which is when you all decide to head home. There’s no word from Jake, but that isn’t unusual.
Natasha drives you home in companionable silence, which is nice because you’re not particularly in the mood to chat. You’re too busy wrapping another chain around that box in your heart, trying to stop it from rattling at the memory of that night when Jake saved you from your terrible date all those years ago.
- That Night -
You glance at your phone from the corner of your eye, checking that it hasn’t yet burnt a hole through the tabletop.
“But then all my friends were doing it, so I couldn’t really say no. You know?” Benji, your date, hasn't stopped talking from the moment you sat down, and he doesn’t seem at all perturbed by your lack of interest. “I guess it’s just one of those things that comes with the job. If I don’t party with the clients, then they won’t respect me. You know?”
You press your lips into a thin line, not trusting yourself to speak in case you completely blow up at the moron sitting across from you. You’d like to think that you’re not even sure why you’re on this date, but you know exactly why you’re here. Because Jake fucking Seresin is on a date with some Victoria’s Secret super model, and you couldn’t stand the thought of staying home and watching 90s sitcom reruns alone again.
He’s only visiting for a few days, and you’re trying not to be mad about the fact that he’s chosen one of those days to go on a date.
“So, I guess one thing led to another,” Benji continues, “and the next thing I knew, I was on a flight to Vegas with the CEO.” He chuckles to himself, even though no part of that story was anything but horrifying. “Anyway, I’m going to take a leak.” He stands from his chair without even looking at you and stalks off toward the bathrooms.
You grab your phone and text the one person you know you can count on, even if it might ruin his date.
Your eyes dart from your phone screen to the bathroom door and back. Benji is taking his sweet time, but that’s fine by you. You’d rather just ghost the guy than try to make up some lame excuse as to why you have to leave. Three minutes tick by before you decide to go outside. Even if Benji returns before Jake gets here, it will probably take him another couple of minutes to find you.
You stand up and drop some cash on the table before weaving through the restaurant to get to the front door. Just as you step out into the cool night air, Jake’s car screeches to a halt at the curb. Like, literally screeches. He must have been flying down the street.
He pushes the passenger door open, and you duck into the car. “Did you speed the whole way here?”
He grins at you. That gorgeous, breath-taking grin that makes his eyes sparkle and always gets him what he wants. “I speed everywhere, even in the skies.”
You roll your eyes before turning to look out at the restaurant, seeing Benji’s confused face through the glass of the big front window as he returns to the table.
“Is that him?” Jake asks.
You nod, and then Jake honks the fucking car horn. Your head snaps back to him, eyes like saucers, as he grins and waves at Benji before hitting the gas. Your body is pressed back into the seat and all the air sucked from your lungs. There’s no way that you would ever get in a jet with this idiot, and you pity any person who does.
“Jesus, are you fucking mental?” you finally manage to gasp out.
He chuckles. “Not my name, Sugar, but yes.”
That fucking nickname. You’re suddenly grateful for the darkness of the night as you feel heat creep into your cheeks.
“What were you doing on a date with a loser like that, anyway?”
The car’s engine growls, and you watch him shift gears like you’re watching a porno. “Is that really any of your business?”
He tips his head and glances at you from the corner of his eye. “If you’re going to have an attitude, I can drop you back off with Coke-Nose-Carl.”
You snort a very unladylike laugh, which only makes him smile wider.
“I was bored,” you admit. “I haven’t gone out in a while, so I downloaded some dating apps and-”
“Dating apps?” He scoffs. “You don’t need dating apps to get a date. The only thing you’re going to get from those is an STD or a Netflix true crime documentary about you and the six other women he killed.”
You can’t help but laugh again, because Jake in a good mood is utterly infectious. But then you realise why he’s in a good mood and your heart sinks into your stomach.
“I appreciate you helping me out, but I really didn’t mean to ruin your date.”
He waves a hand dismissively before landing it back on the gear stick. “Don’t worry about it, I told her it was an emergency. I’ll just send some flowers in the morning and she’ll be all over me again. She’s a total goner this one. Might keep her around for a while.”
Every word feels like another pin in your voodoo doll.
“How will that work?” you ask, trying to sound nothing but genuinely curious. “Aren’t you flying out again in a couple of days?”
“Yeah, but I’m hoping to get some real time off in a couple of months, and until then, there are... other ways to stay in contact.” He smirks as he stares out the windscreen, his eyes sparkling under the intermittent flash of the streetlights.
“That’s ominous.”
His brows pinch. “What is?”
You hold your hands up to sign quotations as you repeat his words back to him. “Other ways to stay in contact.”
He chuckles again as he turns the car onto a familiar road, and you realise that you’re only a few minutes from home.
“Well, you know what I mean.”
You frown, tipping your head quizzically. “No. What do you mean?”
He sighs and turns to look at you, as if needing confirmation that you really are confused. “I’m talking about phone sex, Sugar. Or video sex. Whatever floats your boat.”
He looks certifiably smug as he glances between you and the road, reading your incredibly unsubtle facial expressions as you process his words – that fucking nickname wedged between them.
“Oh,” is all you can manage, turning your gaze out the windscreen.
Your whole face feels hot and the butterflies in your stomach have turned into angry wasps. They’re buzzing and swirling, and threatening to push up the single breadstick that you ate back at the restaurant.
“Sorry,” he says, although he doesn’t look it. “Sometimes I forget how innocent you are.”
The buzzing stops and you rear back a little, your head turning slowly to look at him again. “I’m what?”
“Innocent.” He stops the car at the curb in front of your house. “Right?”
You roll your eyes and pop the car door open. “I might not be a deviant like you, Seresin, but I’m sure as hell no Virgin Mary.”
You push the door open and step out before slamming it shut. You know you shouldn’t be so upset simply for being called innocent, but coming from Jake, it feels different. It feels like he’s telling you that your too innocent and not sexy enough for him, even though you know he’d never see you that way regardless of your sexual experience.
“Wait a minute, Sugar. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
You stop halfway across the foot path and turn on your heel, watching him walk around the front of the car. “You didn’t upset me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’ve just had a shit night.”
He regards you carefully and crosses his arms over his chest, biceps bulging against the short sleeves of his white cotton shirt. But he doesn’t speak, he just looks at you. The night is almost too quiet as you stare at each other, waiting for something to break the tension.
After an agonizing minute of silence, you give in. “Okay, what?”
“I just-” He shakes his head as if clearing his thoughts. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”
“I know you’re stupid, but I’m too curious now. So, spill.”
He rubs a hand up his jaw as he takes half a step back and leans against the passenger’s side of the car. “Well... now I’m just wondering how not innocent you are.”
Your brows raise and your cheek twitches. “You want to talk about my sex life, Jake?”
A smirk ghosts over his lips. “Yeah, kinda.”
“Okay.” You prop a hand on each of your hips, trying to appear nonchalant despite the way your heart is rioting against your ribs. “What do you want to know?”
“You’ve had sex, right?”
You give him a deadpan look, utterly unimpressed.
He chuckles. “Alright, just checking. When did you lose it?”
“Eighteen,” you reply.
“Very respectable.” He nods slowly, obviously sifting through all the questions in his head. “When was the last time you had sex?”
“Last week.”
His brows shoot up toward his hairline. “So, you’re getting it regularly?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Whenever I want it, Cowboy.”
Something in his gaze shifts, and his eyes grow almost imperceptibly darker. “What’s your favourite position?”
You shrug one shoulder. “Depends on the day.”
“Least favourite position?”
“Sixty-nine in the backseat of a Volkswagen Golf in a Taco Bell parking lot.”
His eyes almost bug out of his head, and you can’t help the satisfied smirk that curls at the corner of your lips. You’re enjoying getting these reactions out of him. Never mind the fact that you can feel your pulse thrumming across every inch of your skin, which feels like it’s on fire.
He clears his throat and rolls his shoulders back. “Okay, what do you think about when you masturbate?”
You give him another unimpressed stare. “Whatever I feel like in the moment, Seresin. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to get some secrets out of me.”
That cocky smile flashes across his face again. “They’re only secrets if you’re too scared to tell them.”
You take a step forward and cross your arms, mirroring his stance less than two feet in front of him. “Are we done yet?”
He shakes his head. “If you could have sex with anyone in the world, who you choose?”
Your stomach twists itself into another knot. “Pass.”
“You can’t pass.”
You drop your hands back to your hips and roll your eyes. “Alright then, George Clooney.”
His eyes narrow. “Liar.”
“Prove it.”
He runs his tongue along his bottom lip, making it glisten in the dim glow of the streetlights, and only then do you realise that you’ve taken another step closer to him. You’re almost toe to toe.
“Show me how you get what you want.” His chest is rising and falling faster than usual, and you can feel his hot breath on the skin of your neck.
You swallow thickly. “Well, If I-”
“I said show me.” His voice is almost a growl, sending lightning bolts of arousal right to your core.
You take that last step closer, leaving only a couple of inches between your body and his. You hesitate for only a second before each of your hands come up to his crossed arms, wrapping around his wrists to guide his hands where you want them. You place one on your hip and the other just below your jaw, letting his thumb rest over your pulse point.
You’re not sure when you got so ballsy, but you try not to think too hard as you breathe in the intoxicating scent of the only man you’ve ever fantasised about.
You turn your face toward his hand and press a kiss to the heel of his palm, letting your eyelids flutter shut for only a moment. Then you lock eyes with him again as both of your hands move to the belt wrapped around his hips. You pull yourself toward him and align your body with his, letting your fingers hook into the waistband of his jeans.
His breath catches as you slide your hands outward, your nails scraping against the bare skin behind his jeans. When you reach his hips, you unhook your fingers and let your hands glide up underneath his shirt, over his ribs. He draws a sharp breath and his grip on your hip tightens, the hand on your neck squeezing gently.
“Do you always get what you want?” he whispers.
You nod slowly, scratching your nails gently down the sides of his torso. “Almost always.”
Then the obnoxious ring of his phone startles you both. Your heart practically leaps out of your chest as you jump back, detangling yourself from him as he scrambles for his back pocket. Heat flushes across your chest and crawls up your neck, making your whole face burn with embarrassment.
He glances at his phone screen and then up at you, his expression twisted into something you don’t recognise. “I’m so sorry, I have to-”
“No, no. It’s fine, go ahead.” You shake your head and force a smile on your lips. “Thanks for saving me tonight.”
You turn on your heel and march toward the house, determined to get inside before you either pass out or burst into tears. But once you slam the door, you can’t stop yourself from running into the front room and cracking the window, trying to hear who it was that interrupted you.
“No, Baby. I promise you, she’s like my little sister. I feel responsible for her, I just had to make sure she was okay.”
Then you burst into tears.
- Present -
“Hello?” Natasha pokes your shoulder. “Anyone home?”
You blink a couple of times before turning to look at her, realising the car is now parked in front of your house. “Shit, sorry. I was on another planet.”
“I could tell.”
You pop the door open. “Thanks for the lift.”
“Anytime.” She waves a hand dismissively. “But hey, I’ve been meaning to ask, are you bringing a date to Yale’s wedding?”
“Shit, I totally forgot about that.”
“Yeah, me too. It's next weekend and I have this guy who I want to bring as a date, but I won’t ask him if you’re not bringing anyone. So?”
You roll your eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll find someone. Or I will happily dance alone. Ask your guy.”
She gives you a small smirk and you can swear her cheeks flush with the faintest blush. “Okay.”
You turn and climb out of the car before shutting the door and ducking down to give her one last wave. She waves back and takes off, disappearing down the street in no time. Maybe speeding is a fighter pilot thing?
Once in the comfort of your room, sprawled across your bed, you pull your phone out and start scrolling through your contacts. You don’t really want to bring anyone to this wedding, but you can't deny Nat a date that she clearly wants, so you’re going to have to find someone to at least keep you company. You know Jake will have a date, and even though you’d be happy just hanging out with the rest of the squad, you’ll feel a little less pathetic bringing someone of your own.
-
You smooth your red dress in the mirror, hating how much it stands out against the cream backdrop of the bathroom you’re standing in. You’ve already texted Natasha at least a hundred times in the past week asking if the dress is too red or too bold, making sure there’s no rule against wearing red to someone’s wedding. It’s not that it doesn’t look good – because you know you look fucking good – you just don’t want to be that girl. You hadn’t even expected an invite to Logan’s wedding, so you certainly don’t want to be the random girl who stands out in all the photos.
The buzzing of your phone demands your attention, and you open it to see a text from Natasha telling you that she and her date have arrived. You give yourself one last stern look in the mirror before exiting the bathroom.
Your date, Cole, is waiting for you in the corridor, looking effortlessly handsome as he leans against the wall and gazes up at the high ceilings of the exquisitely designed building. He’s a friend from work who, according to another one of your colleagues, had been wanting to ask you out for a while, so you decided to beat him to it. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s gorgeous – tall, broad shoulders, floppy brown hair, and silvery-blue eyes – and ex-navy, which means he already has something in common with your friends.
“Hey,” you say with a soft smile. “You ready to go to the circus?”
He chuckles and slips his hand into yours, as if it’s second nature. “You’re really starting to worry me. Are your friends that scary?”
“Not scary.” You shake your head as the two of you begin walking down the wide hall. “Maybe insane? Certifiable, even.”
Both the ceremony and the reception are taking place at the most beautiful seaside mansion you’ve ever seen. It has an old money charm to it with high ceilings and windows that stretch all the way up. There are intricate mouldings between the walls and ceilings, and decorative architraves around every doorway and opening. Everything down to the finishings and decor boasts wealth and elegance, and you’re scared to walk too closely to any of it for the fear of breaking something.
“Are the bride and groom drug dealers?” Cole asks.
You laugh softly. “They could be, but I’m pretty sure it's one of their families who owns this place. Or at least part of it.”
You continue down the hall, your heels clacking against the marble floor until you come to the huge arch that leads out to the courtyard. You descend the few concrete steps until you’re walking on fine granite, and then you follow the path through the perfectly manicured garden, weaving in between guests, until you reach the circular part of the long driveway where cars are stopping to deposit more wedding goers.
You spot Natasha easily, and you can already feel the blush rising in your cheeks as you approach her. “Nat, over here.”
She whips toward you and her jaw unhinges. “Holy shit, you look- Oh, my God, who is this?”
Cole chuckles and offers her his hand. “I’m Cole. I work with-”
“You are gorgeous.” She looks back at you. “Can we keep him, please?”
“Hi.” Bob appears beside Nat with a blush dusted across his nose and cheeks, looking downright adorable in his Full Dress. “She insisted we pre-drink,” he says with a soft chuckle.
Your brows pinch and your eyes dart between Natasha and Bob several times before realisation flashes like a lightbulb above your head. “Bob is your date?!”
Natasha smiles sheepishly and links her hand with Bob’s. “It’s only weird if you make it weird, so don’t make it weird and please don’t let the others make it weird.”
You stick your hand out with all your fingers curled in except your pinkie. “I promise I won’t let anyone make this weird. I think it’s adorable.”
She hooks her pinkie finger with yours and you both nod before separating. Then she turns her wide brown eyes back to Cole. “Shit, sorry. Cole this is Bob.”
The two men shake hands before you all decide to go and claim a seat for the ceremony. The backyard – if you can even call it that – stretches for a few thousand yards before dropping off a cliff all the way down to the ocean. The wedding arch is set up so that the guests are looking out at the horizon, but it’s far enough away from the edge that the trees and hedges lining the open space are blocking most of the salty ocean breeze.
As soon as you sit down, more guests start wandering over to find a seat. Bradley, Mickey, and Reuben arrive not long after – all looking very dapper in their Full Dress – and take a seat in the row in front of yours. You hear Mickey whisper something to Reuben about Natasha and Bob, and while you’re not exactly sure what he says, you still offer a whispered threat if they dare to tease either of their friends about being each other’s date.
“Where’s Hangman?” Bradley asks, turning to look at you as if you’d have the answer.
You shrug. “Don’t ask me.”
You turn around to see Logan and his groomsmen – including Javy – getting ready to walk down the aisle, and then you turn a little further to see Jake and his date practically fall out of a taxi and start jogging across the lawn. His hair is a little mussed and he’s still trying to pin medals to his chest.
“He’s here,” you mutter as you turn back to face the front.
The three boys in front of you turn their heads and start giggling like schoolkids.
“Be quiet,” Natasha hisses.
The chatter from the guests has almost completely died down, and you can now hear a soft melody playing from the speakers on either side of the wedding arch.
“Hey,” Jake says breathlessly, falling into the seat beside Bradley.
His date smiles and waves sheepishly before sitting beside him, and you recognise her from when Jake met her at The Hard Deck just over a week ago. The music gets a little louder and the celebrant clears his throat. All the whispering and murmuring stops and guests swivel in their seats to see up the aisle.
Jake turns and catches your eye, flashing that signature smirk and giving you a wink. You roll your eyes before turning with the rest of the crowd to watch Logan and his groomsmen start walking down the aisle.
The ceremony is sweet and simple, and Logan’s bride looks absolutely stunning as she glides down the aisle in her puffy white dress. You let yourself, just for a moment, imagine what it would be like to walk down the aisle and see Cole waiting in the arch. You know he isn’t in the navy anymore, but you imagine him waiting for you in Full Dress, how handsome he’d look in the white uniform with his medals pinned to his chest.
Warmth creeps into your cheeks at the thought, and you imagine reaching the end of the aisle where Cole is waiting. You would blush and avert your eyes as if you were some virginal bride, glancing down at the ground and taking his offered hand. But then when you look back up, it isn’t Cole. It’s Jake.
Even your imagination is a fucking traitor.
The heat in your cheeks crawls down your neck and flushes across your chest. You suddenly feel hot despite the cool breeze blowing off the ocean, and you have to take a deep breath to ease your aching lungs.
It isn’t long before the ceremony is over and the celebrant announces that cocktail hour will be held in the courtyard before the reception commences in the grand hall. The bridal party quickly depart for photos, and guests start slowly rising from their chairs and walking back toward the manor.
“I hope there’s food, I’m starving,” Mickey says.
Reuben chuckles. “You know it’s all going to be fancy stuff like caviar and quail eggs?”
Mickey’s face screws up in disgust. “Wait, like, no normal food at all?”
“You might be able to ask for the kids’ menu,” Bradley says with a cheeky grin.
You all laugh as Mickey swats a hand at Bradley, which he dodges easily.
The cocktail hour is set up in the perfectly manicured garden at the back of the manor, with high tables dressed in white cloth and waiters circling with trays of champagne and canapes. You claim one of the high tables before Mickey and Reuben excuse themselves to go harass one of the waiters for something other than champagne.
“I have to say, I’m a little disappointed in you, Hangman.” Nat rests her purse on the tabletop and glares across it at Jake. “Although, I’m not surprised.”
You glance at him standing beside you, the medals on his jacket pinned crookedly and his collar sticking up at the back. You sigh and grab his shoulders, turning him to face you. “I know your mother raised you better than this, Seresin,” you say as you start unpinning the medals. “Being late to a wedding? She’d have your ass.”
He grins at you as you fuss over him, pinning his medals on properly, fixing his collar, and even smoothing down the pieces of hair that are poking out of place. He particularly enjoys the way you have to stretch onto your toes to reach the back of his head.
“What are you going to do, Sugar? Call her and tell her?”
You pull back and cross your arms. “I might.”
He hesitates, wide green eyes assessing you carefully as he tries to figure out if you’re being serious or not. You know you’re not actually going to dob him in to his mother, even though it would be hilarious, but you’re not about to let him call your bluff. So you stare back at him, your eyes narrowed and the ghost of a smirk on your lips.
You don’t even realise that everyone is staring at the two of you while you stare at each other until someone clears their throat. It’s the girl standing on the other side of Jake; his date.
“Um, I’m sorry,” she says with a small, awkward laugh. “It’s actually my fault that we were late.”
“Oh, right.” Jake turns and wraps an arm around her, pulling her into his side and forcing you to step back. “This is Shelley. I think some of you met her at The Hard Deck a couple of weeks ago.”
You turn and quickly slip your hand into Cole’s, giving him a soft smile as Jake points and names the people standing around the table.
“That’s right,” Shelley says, looking straight at you. “You’re Jake’s little sister.”
Cole frowns. “You have a brother?”
Jake’s eyes widen, a silent plea for you to keep up the charade.
You sigh softly before plastering on a smile. “Yep. This is my brother.” The words taste sour in your mouth, like stomach bile rising up right before you’re about to vomit. “Jake, this is Cole.”
Cole offers his hand to Jake, which Jake takes and squeezes the ever-loving shit out of. You can see how strong his grip is by the way his knuckles turn white and Cole winces.
“So, Cole,” Jake says, his lips curled into a challenging smirk. “What do you do for a living?”
You glare at him, trying to get his attention so you can give him your best fuck off scowl, but his gaze is laser-focused on your date.
“We work together, actually,” Cole replies, gesturing to you. “But I used to be in the navy.”
“Oh, really? What did you get discharged for?”
“Jake,” you mutter. “Is that really any of your business?”
He chuckles and shrugs, his eyes flitting toward you. “What? I’m just making conversation.”
“It’s alright,” Cole says, though the tone of his voice makes you think otherwise. “I was medically discharged.”
Jake’s eyes are almost feline as they slide back toward Cole. “What for?”
“Jake,” you hiss.
“I hurt my back,” Cole replies. “Pretty badly, actually. I’m still in physical therapy for it.”
Jake’s smirk stretches into a Cheshire Cat grin as he turns back to you. “Well, I sure hope that doesn’t get in the way of you two having a little fun later tonight.”
Your eyes go wide and your jaw unhinges. Bradley and Bob both choke on their breath and cough to cover their laughter, while Natasha giggles shamelessly into the palm of her hand.
You turn to Cole, who’s cheeks are bright red, and give him your most apologetic smile. “Why don’t you go get us some drinks while I verbally abuse my brother?”
He nods once and squeezes your hand before letting go and practically running away from the table.
“Hey Shelley,” Natasha pipes up, “would you come with me to find the bathrooms?”
Bradley clears his throat. “I’m going to go find Payback and Fanboy.”
“I’ll help you,” Bob says.
The two boys hurry off in one direction while Natasha grabs Shelley’s hand and drags her toward the concrete steps that lead inside the manor.
You turn to Jake. “What the fuck?”
He rears back a little. “What?”
“Why were you so rude to him?”
“I didn’t think I was being-”
“Jake,” you warn, taking half a step toward him. “You know exactly what you were doing.”
He rolls his eyes as if you’re being dramatic. “I’m just making sure he’s a good guy. I’ve never met anyone you’ve dated before.”
“So?” You throw your hands up. “You had no right to interrogate him like you did.”
Jake frowns, his head tipping slightly as he gets lost in his own thoughts, clearly not listening what you’re saying. “Why haven’t I met anyone you’ve dated before?”
“Because I don’t date much, but that’s beside the point.” You scowl up at him, watching his green eyes swirl with something akin to curiosity. “I am perfectly polite to your date, and you’re going to be the same to mine. Got it?"
He scoffs. “Yeah, you just grunt at my date like you’ve lost the ability to speak.”
“I do not.”
He chuckles humourlessly. “Yes, you do. In fact, you barely speak to any of the girls I date.”
You roll your eyes. “Can you really blame me for not bothering to get to know them? You’re just going to replace this one with a new one in a week or two.”
“Ouch.” He puts a hand on his chest, right over the perfectly pinned medals. “And I suppose Mr Ex-Navy is more than just a last-ditch wedding date?”
“He could be.”
“Really?” He raises his brows. “Are you going to marry the man with the bad back who can’t even fuck properly?”
Anger sizzles through your veins, lighting every inch of your skin on fire. “Why do you even fucking care?!"
“Because I care about you.” His voice is a whispered shout, low but assertive. “And you can do better than this guy.”
You take a deep breath to try and settle your temper, not wanting to cause a scene. “This guy is great, and I like him, so pull your shit together and start acting like the honourable man you’re supposed to be. Because you know what, Seresin? I’m not your little sister, and I’m not your responsibility, so who I date is none of your business.”
His mouth pops open but no words come out. His eyes are swimming with an emotion you don’t recognise as they study you, the furious expression on your face glaring up at him from beneath furrowed brows.
You’re not sure if he recognises his own words from that night, but either way, you can safely say that he has been adequately chastised. You take another deep breath and step back, turning toward your date who is approaching the table with a flute of champagne in each hand.
- Jake -
The reception is in full swing and entrees have been served, but the chicken sitting in front of Jake remains untouched. He’s been glaring through the flowery centrepiece in the middle of the table for almost fifteen minutes now, while everyone around him chats and eats happily. To anyone else, it might seem like the man hates orchids, but as Javy descends from the bridal table and sees his best friend plotting murder, he knows that it isn’t the flowers that have offended Jake Seresin. It’s the man on the other side of them.
He crouches behind Jake’s chair and puts a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll get the body bag if you pick the murder weapon.”
Jake startles and whips around, his scowl breaking into a smile when he sees his best friend. “Hey, man. You looked good up there.”
“I know,” Javy chuckles. “Want to get a drink?”
Jake glances at his date, who is currently chatting with Mickey about which entree meal is better, before turning back to Javy and nodding. He scoots his chair back and stands up, following his friend to the bar at the back of the hall. Once they order their drinks, they step to the side and wait for the bartender to pour them.
“So,” Javy says, “what did I miss?”
Jake glances back at the table, his eyes narrowing on you and your date. “Well, I was a little late and got scolded for it.”
Javy chuckles. “Saw that.”
“Natasha and Bob came together, which isn’t surprising, but still gross.”
“I think it’s nice.”
Jake rolls his eyes. “You would.”
When he glances back at the table, you’ve got your hand wrapped around Cole’s bicep, leaning into him and laughing like he’s the funniest man in the world. Jake hates it. He has no idea why, but he fucking hates it. He hates the way you look at your date and he hates the way the man is looking back at you. He wants to wrap you in his jacket – because that dress is criminal – and stuff you into a taxi to be on your way home.
“Anything else?” Javy asks.
The bartender places their drinks in front of them, and they both mutter a thank you before taking a glass each and walking toward one of the high tables nearby.
“Not really.”
“You sure?” Javy presses, his brows raised in question. “Nothing about Cole, or...?”
Jake frowns. “You know him?”
“Yeah, I had lunch with them both last week.”
“What the fuck?” Jake looks utterly offended.
Javy chuckles again. “I ran into them while they were suit shopping, so we stopped for lunch. He’s actually a really nice guy. It’s a shame about his injury.”
Jake scoffs. “Yeah, I bet it would suck to not be able to fuck properly.”
Javy almost spits his mouthful of whiskey and coke across the table, but he manages to swallow most of it and cough on the rest. “What the fuck, man?”
Jake shrugs. “What?”
“Why do you care about the man’s bedroom ability?”
Heat crawls into Jake’s cheeks, so he hides his face behind a generous sip of his drink. “I don’t. I mean, I’m just looking out for-”
“The girl you call your sister?” Javy interrupts. “Because I can tell you right now, no brother would be concerned about how well their sister is getting dicked down.”
“Yeah, but we aren’t actually related.”
“I know, it would be fucking gross if you were,” Javy says. He watches Jake from the corner of his eye as he takes another sip of his drink, waiting for the words to hit and wondering if his friend will figure out the underlying suggestion.
It takes almost a full minute for Jake to frown and tip his head curiously. “Why would it be gross?”
Javy sighs and shakes his head. “Never mind. Come on, you better get back to your date.”
The two men walk back toward Table 7, and Jake can’t help but glare at Cole the whole way there. He doesn’t know why, but he can’t stand the way the man’s hand is hidden beneath the table but clearly on your thigh. Like he’s being sneaky or something. Jake has s brief thought about breaking the man’s hand as he sits back down at the table, and it makes him smile.
“Hey, Baby,” Shelley coos, leaning over and sliding her hand up his thigh.
His smile drops and he catches her hand before it can get too high.
She pouts and bats her lashes. “What’s wrong, Baby?”
Jake puts his drink down and uses both hands to push her hand away from his crotch. “We’re sitting at a table with my friends. It’s disrespectful.”
“Oh.” She pulls back completely, an embarrassed blush crawling up her neck.
Jake should feel bad for being so harsh, he knows that, but he can’t find the energy to care. He’s too busy peering through the gaps in the orchid arrangement, glaring at the man sitting beside you.
After dinner, Logan and his wife have their first dance, but Jake spends most of it watching Cole’s hand run up and down your arm. When the slow music morphs into dance music, the bridal party join the dancefloor and guests slowly start to leave their seats.
Jake wants to talk to you and apologise for being rude, but he also wants to tell you that your date sucks and you deserve better. He just can’t figure out why your date sucks, and he knows he needs a valid reason before he corners you.
Shelley asks him to dance twice before giving up and joining Mickey and Reuben on the dancefloor, but it isn’t long before the MC announces that it's time to cut the cake. Jake doesn’t miss the way your eyes sparkle with tears when Logan’s wife smushes cake into his face, and he wonders if people usually cry at the cake cutting.
After the cake, Javy calls everyone up to the bar for a round of shots, which quickly turns into a second round of shots when Logan and his wife join in. Then everyone makes their way back to the dancefloor to watch Mickey pull out some very embarrassing dance moves. Jake joins in and even, for a brief moment, forgets about the man he’s been glaring daggers at all evening, but then he catches you leaving the dancefloor out of the corner of his eye.
You drag Cole toward the bar and order another drink. Jake stops watching Reuben pretend he can breakdance and steps out of the dance circle that’s happening in the middle of the floor. He cranes his neck so he can still see you with Cole, standing at the back of the hall beside one of the high tables.
You’re standing right up against the man, your hands guiding his hands to where you want them on your body. Jake’s breath catches in his throat, and his heart starts to race. He recognises this.
He stops moving to the beat of the music, he stops pretending like he’s enjoying the dancing, and he walks away from the dancefloor entirely. His eyes are trained on you, watching you lean into Cole’s hand that is cradling your jaw. He knows what you’re doing and it’s making him sick.
Before he can stop himself, he’s weaving in between tables. His heart feels like it’s in his throat, thumping out of rhythm and making it difficult for him to catch his breath. But he doesn’t care. All he cares about is getting to you.
- You -
Cole’s eyes are like molten silver, and you have to remind yourself that silver is a precious metal. It doesn’t matter that you like gems better, green gems like jade and malachite. They’re too expensive to dream about; you need to stop dreaming about green gems.
Though it’s a bit hard when those green gems won’t stop fucking staring at you.
You hesitate as you lean toward Cole, your fingers hooked behind the belt that’s wrapped around his hips. He’s so pretty, you can’t deny that, and you do want to kiss him, but it feels weird knowing Jake is in the same room right now. Knowing that all your friends could be watching as you close the gap between your lips and-
“What are you doing?”
You startle and pull back, your eyes widening as warmth spreads across your chest and crawls up your neck. “What the fuck?”
Jake is standing on the other side of the high table. His cheeks are flushed and his arms are crossed, he looks angry but... confused.
“Oh, hey,” Cole mutters, defeat saturating his tone. He’d have to be stupid not to have noticed the way Jake’s been glaring at him all night.
You cross your arms and mirror his stance. “Jake, what are you doing?”
“Just checking on my baby sister.”
You roll your eyes. “Please, would you just-”
“Baby, where’d you go?” Shelley’s hot pink fingernails slide over Jake’s shoulder as she appears at his side. “You missed me in the dance circle.”
A smirk ghosts across your lips. “Yeah, Baby, how could you miss that?”
Jake’s stare is unwavering, he doesn’t even flinch at the exaggerated pet name.
Cole sighs. “Look, man, I wasn’t trying to do anything weird, I just wanted to kiss her.”
“Do you seriously have a problem with that?” you ask.
Jake’s eyes narrow on Cole. “Yes.”
“What the fuck for?” You uncross your arms and throw your hands up. “You’re not actually my brother, Jake. Why do you give a shit about this?”
Cole turns to you. “He’s not your brother?”
Shelley gasps. “Oh, my God. She’s not your- Wait.” She steps away from Jake and looks at you, then back at him with wide eyes. “You’re, like... in love with her, aren’t you? That’s why you’ve been acting fucking weird all night.”
Cole steps away from you. “What the fuck is going on?”
Jake is pale – like, concerningly pale – and you can’t see his chest or shoulders moving, so you’re not even sure if he’s breathing. His glare isn’t menacing anymore, it’s blank. Completely blank.
“I think he’s broken,” you whisper, more to yourself than anyone else. You turn to Cole. “I’m sorry I lied to you, but it’s a long story. I’m, like, one-hundred percent sure that he’s not in love with me, but I do think he’s having some sort of stroke, so I’m going to take him outside for a minute. Is that okay?”
Cole nods, although he doesn’t seem convinced. But you don’t have time to reassure him right now, because you’re pretty sure Jake is either about to pass out or throw up.
You don’t even look at Shelley as you grab Jake’s arm and start dragging him toward the exit doors. His steps are slow but steady, and he stares at you with a weird, bewildered expression the whole way. You lead him through the halls of the manor and down the concrete steps into the courtyard. There are a few people scattered about, stealing a moment to themselves, but you weave through the garden until you find a swinging seat away from anyone else.
“Sit here.” You push him toward the chair. “Do you need some water?”
He shakes his head.
“Are you going to pass out?”
He shakes his head again.
“Okay, I’m going to need to hear some actual words now, Hangman.” You crouch in front of him, putting a hand on either one of his knees. “You’re starting to worry me.”
His eyes meet yours. “You never call me Hangman.”
“Sorry, do you prefer Bagman?”
He frowns, but it isn’t dark or serious because you can see his lips fighting a smirk. “It’s Jake to you, or Seresin.”
You roll your eyes and stand up straight, propping a hand on each hip. “Okay, Seresin, now that you can talk are you going to tell me what the fuck just happened?”
He groans and drops his head into his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. You wait for him to say something, watching his shoulders rise and fall with heavy breaths, but he refuses speak.
You sigh and sit down beside him, feeling the chair rock as you do. “I’m not mad, Jake, just a little frustrated. I know that you see me as a little sister, but-”
He snorts. “You are not my little sister.”
“I know that.” You bump your shoulder against his. “Do you know that? Because the way you were acting tonight was ridiculous. I don’t care how responsible you feel for me, I’m still an adult who can do whatever and whoever she pleases.”
He groans again and looks up, dragging his hands down his face. “Please don’t say that.”
Your brows pinch. “Say what?”
“That you can do whoever you want.”
You roll your eyes again. “I’m no Virgin Mary, Jake. You can’t just pretend-”
“I know.” He sits up straighter and looks right at you, pinning you with those sparkling jade eyes. “I remember.”
Your heart starts thumping faster. “Remember what?”
“That night.”
The box you shoved into the deepest, darkest corner of your heart starts to tremble. The chains rattle and the locks clang as the box shakes, the tremors increasing with every laboured breath you draw into your aching lungs.
“Jake,” you whisper. “I-”
“I saw you with him and I just”– he runs a hand through his hair –“I couldn’t fucking stand it. I knew what you were doing and I knew what you wanted, but I just couldn’t let you do it.”
Your eyes sting but you quickly blink back the moisture welling in them. You want to ask him what the fuck he means, why it matters this much to him, and why he nearly passed out when Shelley said what she said. But the connection between your brain and mouth is paralysed.
“All night I couldn’t stand the sight of you with him, but I couldn’t stop staring. Even Javy-” He pauses and rears back a little, averting his eyes as he searches back through his memories of the night. “Holy shit.”
You tip your head quizzically, your brows furrowed as you work to keep your emotions at bay. “What?”
“Even Javy knows that I’m in love with you.”
The box in your heart doesn’t just break open, it fucking shatters.
His eyes find yours again and he brings one hand up to your jaw, his thumb resting over your pulse point. His other hand moves to your opposite hip, forcing him to lean his body closer to yours and wrap you in his intoxicating scent. You watch as his tongue darts across his bottom lip, and then he’s kissing you.
It isn’t soft. It’s hungry, years of tension crashing into a single moment. His lips claim yours like he’s been holding back forever and never even realised it. You kiss him back hard, fingers twisting in the lapels of his jacket, pulling him closer, needing more. His hand slides to the back of your neck, anchoring you, deepening the kiss until your thoughts are nothing but heat and the way his mouth moves against yours.
The sound of fireworks – literal fireworks – is the only thing that forces you apart. Startling you both as they soar into the sky and burst against the navy velvet draped over this side of the earth.
You look up, seeing your breath in puffs of white against the dark night. “Are Yale’s family drug dealers?”
Jake chuckles and closes his eyes. “I just kissed you for the first time, and that’s what you have to say?”
“Sorry,” you giggle, dropping your gaze back to him and drawing your bottom lip between your teeth.
“I can’t believe I never realised it,” he mutters.
You shrug one shoulder. “To be fair, I was one-hundred percent sure you didn’t feel the same about five minutes ago.”
His brows pinch. “Feel the same?”
“Yes.” You hold his face between your hands, squishing his cheeks a little. “I’ve been in love with you for a very long time, Jake Seresin.”
He grins, which makes you giggle because his cheeks are now extra squished. “Good. Because I’m going to be in love with you forever.”
END.
#jake seresin#glen powell#jake seresin x reader#hangman x reader#jake hangman seresin#glen powell x reader#imagine#one shot#oneshot#fanfiction#fanfic#top gun#top gun maverick#hangman#bradley bradshaw#rooster
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₊ ⊹𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞! ⊹ ₊

˚ʚY/N told them her ideal type which was the complete opposite of them. ɞ˚
˚ʚNagi Seishiro x Reader, Reo Mikage x Reader (seperate!)ɞ˚
˚ʚpt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt. 5ɞ˚

₊ ⊹𝐍𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐒𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 ⊹ ��
Nagi Seishiro was not a man of effort. He liked things easy, simple, and preferably with minimal movement involved. So, of course, falling in love with Y/Nwas an absolute nightmare.
You we're everything he wasn’t. Full of energy, constantly moving, and always finding new ways to make his life unnecessarily complicated. Like now.
“Come on, Nagi, aren’t you curious?” you teased, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you leaned forward.
Nagi blinked at you, fighting the urge to yawn. “Not really.”
You huffed, but your grin didn’t falter. “Too bad. You asked me something yesterday, so it’s only fair I answer.”
He didn’t actually remember asking you anything, but he nodded anyway. That was easier than arguing.
You clasped your hands together dramatically. “Alright, my type is—” you paused for effect, waiting until you had his full attention. “A guy who’s hardworking, super ambitious, and always pushing himself to be better.”
Nagi’s brain short-circuited.
Hardworking? Ambitious? That was the complete opposite of him. You might as well have described Mikage Reo.
“...Huh,” was all he said, but internally, he was already lying face-down on the floor, mourning his non-existent love life.
You grinned, nudging his foot with yours under the table. “What? Surprised?”
“Not really.” He shoved a piece of bread into his mouth, chewing slower than necessary to mask his disappointment. He should’ve known. You we're always looking for excitement, for someone who would match your energy. Nagi, with his love for naps and bare-minimum effort, didn’t stand a chance.
You watched him, your lips twitching as if you were holding back laughter. “Nagi,” you said slowly, dragging out his name.
“Mm?”
“It was a prank.”
He froze mid-chew.
You snickered. “I just wanted to mess with you. Did you really believe that?”
Nagi swallowed his bread and stared at you. His brain was still rebooting.
You rested your chin on her palm, tilting your head slightly. “I don’t actually care about all that. If I like someone, I like them. Simple.”
Simple? Nothing about this was simple. His heart was beating annoyingly fast, and he was suddenly aware of how warm his face felt. He was too lazy to deal with emotions, especially confusing ones like this.
“Oh,” was all he managed to say.
You laughed, and Nagi had to look away before you noticed the way his ears were turning red.
“Dummy,” you said fondly, and he felt like maybe—just maybe—falling in love with you wasn’t such a nightmare after all.

₊ ⊹𝐑𝐞𝐨 𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞 ⊹ ₊
Reo Mikage prided himself on being composed, confident, and always in control. At least, that’s what he liked to believe—until you came along and threw him off balance without even trying.
You weren't just any girl. You we're his best friend. The one person who could match his wit, challenge his patience, and somehow make his heart race with nothing more than a smile. Not that he’d ever tell her that.
No, Reo Mikage wasn’t about to risk their friendship over some dumb crush.
Except, today was testing him in ways he hadn’t prepared for.
“So, what’s your type?” you asked casually, twirling a strand of hair around your finger as you leaned forward on the table. It was an innocent enough question, one he could dodge if necessary. But before he could turn the conversation back on you, you smirked and added, “I’ll tell you mine first.”
Reo swallowed. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a terrible feeling about this.
“I like guys who are quiet and mysterious. You know, the brooding type. Kind of cold but secretly really soft when you get to know them,” you continued, tapping your chin in thought. “Oh! And he has to be a little clumsy, maybe even bad with money—”
Reo nearly choked on air. “What?”
You nodded as if completely serious. “Yeah! Like the kind of guy who forgets his wallet all the time or gets lost easily.”
He gawked at you. “That’s the opposite of me.”
“I know, right?” you sighed dramatically. “I guess it just can’t be helped.”
Reo didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. You had to be messing with him. Right? But what if you weren’t? What if you really liked someone who was the complete opposite of him? That was a problem. A big problem.
You took one look at his expression and burst into laughter. “Reo, I was kidding! You should’ve seen your face.”
His jaw tightened. “That wasn’t funny.”
“It was a little funny,” you teased, grinning up at him.
Reo sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. He should have known. Of course you we're messing with him. But still, the relief that washed over him was embarrassingly strong.
“You’re such a pain,” he muttered, shaking his head.
You rested her chin on your palm, still smiling. “Why? You worried you didn’t fit my type?”
Reo scoffed, looking away so you wouldn’t see the light dusting of pink creeping onto his ears. “As if I care.”
You hummed, unconvinced. But for now, you let him pretend. Little did Reo know, you had her own little secret—one that involved him and your not-so-fake type after all.

˚ʚhad this on my draft for like weeks and haven't posted it. I'm currently making a Rin and Sae Itoshi one.ɞ˚
#blck#bllk#bllk x y/n#bllk x you#bllk x reader#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#reo mikage#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x female reader#nagi x y/n#nagi x you#nagi x reader#nagi seishiro#bllk nagi#bllk reo#reo x reader#reo x y/n#reo x you
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Introducing The Kings to Your Plushies
me and my bestie have a joke about my faves showing up to my place for sex and i would not realize and just start talking about my plushies based on this dumb post we saw once, thought it'd be funny to turn into an actual scenario lol might do this for the other devils, angels, minhyeok if the ppl are interested lol notes: mildly sexual - not really anything deeply insane, gender neutral reader !!!

Satan
On one hand, he thinks you're really cute. On the other hand, he's here to fuck so.
He's going back and forth so much in his head for a moment he's not even paying attention to you talking oops.
Gets so frustrated and angered from trying to decide what to do it ultimately ends with him just jumping on you.
Cut you off mid word with an incredibly heat filled kiss from rage.
Honestly you might not even 100% be certain what happened but you're not complaining!! You can always talk about the rest of your plushies later!!!
Well. If Satan doesn't fuck you until the point you're resting for the next couple days.
Once he actually pays attention to you talking about them he'll remember some names here and there, but he will get them wrong on purpose to try and see you angry lol.
Mammon
The reality is he probably got you most of these plushies.
He adores seeing how you cherish them and the lore you've decided for them!!
Will remember every single detail you tell him about them!!
He thinks it's super cute and will humor you for the moment.
However, Mammon will get what he wants eventually. But for right now you're so adorable how could he tell you no?
He is DEFINITELY teasing you later once he does get to sleep with you about how cute you are.
This man lives to see you embarrassed and shy from his compliments.
Is probably buying you even MORE plushies now, hope you're prepared for that!
Leviathan
I think it depends at the point in your relationship, if it's early on he might just toss the plushies aside and get to the point of what he wants.
Later on I do think he genuinely listens, even if he's impatient and pretends like he doesn't care. If it's important to you he does care, just doesn't always show it.
Especially if you use the plushies as a form of comfort due to trauma or any other issues.
You won't even realize how much he paid attention until he refers to your plushies by their names if you accidentally leave them laying around.
However he does still get jealous so so easily so maybe try not to spend too much time at once focusing on them rather than him.
He tries so hard but eventually the jealousy will overtake him and he will just get straight to the sex.
For what it's worth, he still found you cute! He just can't help himself.

Beelzebub
I'm not gonna lie, you might be able to successfully distract him for a good bit.
Dude's invested in the names and lore and anything you have created for them!!! He likes hearing about it !!!!
He isn't gonna be able to remember every single bit of these details but he might remember some of it here and there. Either way he likes listening to how you talk about them!
That being said he can only sit still for so long so maybe introduce him a little at a time lmao.
Especially because once he DOES start to get distracted he's gonna remember the original reason he was here.
And well. Yeah just like that it's time to fuck!
Because you successfully distracted him for a bit you might be in store for an extra long session this time so! Good luck!

Lucifer
He listens fully. Wants to hear everything you have to say about them.
He finds the plushies super cute, so he enjoys listening to your ramblings, even if he had certain intentions when he arrived.
But most importantly, he's so endeared, you're so absolutely adorable to him. The way your face lights up when you talk about them, he can't get enough!!!!
So he lets you have your moment.
And when you're finally done is when he's actually gonna fuck you lol. Yeah, that was still happening he had a goal.
And if he's teasing you extra specially tonight, don't even worry about it (whether it be from compliments or degradation who's to say!! just know you're gonna be crying extra hard this time he's so worked up from how cute you are!).
Of course, he remembers every single detail you tell him, he has that shit committed to memory. Asks you questions sometimes to see that adorable look on your face again!

Belphegor
Goodnight.
He tries to pay attention but he's ready to fall asleep apologies.
He showed up for sex and when it wasn't happening his brain turned off.
That being said the second you realize he's asleep and start trying to wake him up he's on you!!
Like okay conversation done we're fucking now right?
It's just easier to give what he wants and lecture him in the process.
It's fine he tries to listen later. That being said if he invites Beleth to listen too don't worry about it. He totally didn't tell him to memorize details for him because he's probably gonna fall asleep again.

Asmodeus
Sorry there's just no way to distract this man from sex.
If he's showing up for sex he's here to for sex !!!!
And he WILL get it!!!
If anything he just starts fucking you while holding up the plushies to you and asking you details about them.
Unfortunately you're kinda too fucked out by that point to truly answer them.
He's a fucking menace apologies.
And he cannot be stopped I fear.
That being said any information he does manage to get out of you he does fully remember!!
It's his own weird way of showing affection, ya know?
#what in hell is bad#whb#whb x reader#whb leviathan#whb satan#whb mammon#whb asmodeus#whb belphegor#whb beelzebub#whb lucifer#what in hell is bad x reader#whb smut
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Stuck Together - Part 4
Summary: After Westview, Wanda and her children go into hiding. She's not happy with the person in charge of protecting them.
Wanda Maximoff x F! Super Soldier R
“Glad to see you’re getting along” Maria says with a smirk.
“Don’t” you warn her.
The timing couldn’t be worse.
Honestly, the last thing you expected was to end up kissing Wanda in the middle of nowhere. And now that Maria interrupted, you know it’s bound to get awkward.
Sure enough, Wanda is avoiding your eyes.
“Can we talk inside?” Hill says and you turn to look at the Sokovian, allowing her to make the call. She nods, turning to open the door.
“Have you been compromised?” Maria asks in a low voice.
“Huh?” you play dumb.
“You know what I mean. If you can’t be objective…”
“Stop. It was nothing”
“Mhm” she nods, the way Fury would. She truly is his right hand.
Wanda comes back from the bedroom, closing the door. You pull out a chair for her, and lean against the small kitchen counter, waiting for Maria to talk.
“We were worried. You moved houses”
“Position was compromised”
“By?”
“Agatha Harkness” Wanda answers. You don’t know how they know each other, what was she doing after them, but considering she almost killed you, knowing the rest of the story isn’t at the top of your list.
She’s gone, and that’s enough.
“I see” Maria looks between the two of you. “Anything else?”
“Such as?”
“Anything out of the ordinary”
“Nothing I can think of” you say, but Maria is looking intently at Wanda. “Look, if you wanna know something specific, just say it. I can’t protect them from stuff I don’t know about”
“I take she doesn’t know what happened, then” Maria turns to Wanda, and the way she’s staring at her annoys you. You remember how she mentioned it was classified, which means she was hoping Wanda would tell you everything.
Perhaps even more information than what was found on a file. The fact is, you’re starting to feel used, and nothing annoys you more than being used.
“The short story is…” Wanda’s voice trembles, her accent rolling out like it always does when she gets nervous or pissed off. “I lost control and created a weird… I don’t know, reality. Some people got trapped in it as well”
“A whole town” Maria interjects.
“Well, I didn’t know I could do that. Agatha was also manipulating a lot of the things inside the hex” Wanda defends herself.
You push yourself off the kitchen counter, kneeling next to Wanda.
“Did you kill anyone?”
“No”
“Did you do any of it on purpose?”
“No, I didn’t… I was so upset”
You can guess where this is going. Wanda was gone with the snap, but Vision was killed before that. So she was thrown back into reality, without warning, without a second to mourn.
The way Yelena was.
“What did you do to upset her?” you turn to Maria.
“Me? Nothing”
“Not you, specifically. The government”
“They didn’t let me see him” Wanda says in a small voice and it is only now that you remember how young she actually is. “He didn’t even get a proper burial. He saved the world once, you know?”
To be honest, you were never a big fan of Vision. Maybe it was the fact you were born in the 1920s and some technology just rubbed you the wrong way. But he was always one to fight alongside you.
“See? I knew you did something”
“Ok, we’re getting a little off topic now” the agent crosses her arms.
Maria was definitely hoping you’d take her side. It’s interesting, how five years of being gone can throw people off their game so easily. They’re missing so much information, and so much context that there are blind spots everywhere.
“What’s the topic, then?” you ask, standing up and staying by Wanda’s side.
“Hayward is still on the run. We worry he might try to find you. He knows about this safe house and it isn’t that far from Westview, so…”
“We’ll move. I know a place that’s not on his radar”
“The android…”
“Vision?” you say, confused.
“No. There was… another one. Hayward built him. Used my magic to make him sentient” Wanda says, looking at her hands.
“There’s a possibility that he comes back. And we don’t know if it’s friendly or not. Maybe Barton could help”
“I’m not on speaking terms with Barton” you cut her off. “If he’s willing to help, then he can take care of them while I go find Hayward”
“We’d rather you didn’t”
“Afraid I’m going to kill him?” you say with a smile.
“Well, yes”
“Yeah, he deserves it” you hold Maria’s stare. Yet another thing she doesn’t know about.
“That’s besides the point. FBI wants him locked up. If you kill him…”
“If they find out I killed him”
Like you haven’t done countless hits on behalf of the government, assassinations that were staged to look like perfect accidents. What’s one more? And against someone who actually deserves it.
“I don’t like where this is going” Wanda interrupts, looking up at you. You can see she’s shaken up, and that shuts you up real quick. “We’d rather stay with Y/N”
“Sleep on it” you say. “Barton knows you, he’s got kids that could play with yours. It may be safer to stay with them”
Once again, Wanda stares at you, but you look away. Why would it be so hard for you to just drop her off at Barton’s and call it a day? Make it someone else’s problem.
But it’s not something you want to drop. If you can help, you’ll do it.
“Sleep on it” you ask again, smiling. Wanda nods, standing up and Maria gets up. “Come on, Hill”
“You sure you’re not compromised? One pout and you were questioning your choices” she says on the way out.
“I’m sure”
“I told Fury, this could go wrong. You always had a soft spot for a beautiful woman with a sad story” she tries to joke, but you don’t laugh.
She's not exactly wrong.
In spite of everything, you trust Maria and Fury to do the right thing, though their methods can be questionable. You promise to be in contact as soon as you find a safe spot, and watch as she climbs in her motorcycle and drives away.
To your surprise, Wanda’s back in the kitchen, chewing on her thumb.
“You should get some rest”
“I don’t need to sleep on it. It would be better… I want us to stay with you. I’d feel safer”
“Ok” you nod, hiding your hands in the pockets of your jeans. You’re about to bring up the kiss when Wanda walks out of the room, wishing you goodnight.
It’s probably for the best.
—
The forest looks beautiful at break of dawn. The cool, clear night is followed by a misty morning, the first rays of sun trying to break through the heavy fog.
You didn’t sleep at all. The mention of Hayward left you restless. You know him and what he’s capable of doing. If he’s really after Wanda, better to not leave anything to luck. He won’t hurt her or her children. Not on your watch.
The bedroom is quiet, both kids glued to Wanda’s side. You kneel, admiring her sleeping figure for a moment. A strand of auburn hair covers her eyes, and you can’t resist the urge to push it back.
“Wanda” you say, hoping she won’t get scared. You almost want to laugh at the groan she lets out. “We have to move. Come on”
“Five more minutes”
“You can sleep in the car” you promise. Once she opens her eyes, Wanda looks around the room, rubbing the sleep off of them. Then, she focuses back on you, smiling.
“Hey”
“Hi, witchy”
“Don’t call me that”
You laugh at her readiness to fight, even when she just woke up. The kids stir in their sleep, and you stand up, carrying them all the way to the car, giving Wanda a chance to get cleaned up and changed.
She leaves the cabin a few minutes later, looking back.
“Food? Money?”
“I packed everything, don’t worry” you reassure her. You walk around the car to open the passenger door for her, and she can’t hide her smile when she walks past you, lingering a bit to stay close to you. You’re surprised to notice she falls asleep as soon as you start the car.
You drive for an hour, looking around for any cars following you. The road is empty, though. Still, you don’t relax until you choose a little battered road, the car swaying with each bump.
By the time you park close to a cliff, Wanda and the kids are awake.
“Where are we?” Tommy asks, and you smile at him.
“On an adventure” you wink. Opening the trunk of the car, you pull out four backpacks. They’re full of provisions, money, and in your case, weapons.
Each one takes their own bag, their plushie serving as an ID. Wanda laughs softly as she looks at the big purple axolotl, remembering how you insisted on getting it for her.
“Can we eat now?” Billy asks.
“Depends, do you get dizzy when you’re flying?”
“I’ve never flown before”
“I’d rather we save the trouble of throwing up in the small plane” you turn to Wanda. “But you decide”
“Have a small snack, kids”
You nod, pointing at the direction you have to take. It will only be five minutes until they find the aircraft. As they walk away, you turn to the car, pushing it over the cliff. It rolls down easily, and crashes against the bottom a minute later. It’s best to cover your tracks.
The kids stare in awe at the small plane, while you look for the keys under one of the wings. After opening the door, you stand by it, helping them up and waiting for Wanda to hoist her up by her waist.
“Can you give us a little push?” you ask, referring to her magic. She nods, tendrils of red extending outside and moving the aircraft forward.
“You sure this thing will hold?” she asks and you nod, smiling at her.
“It’s just a short ride”
45 minutes at best, and you enjoy every second of it. It was one of your favorite things during missions and the team always knew you’d fly anywhere when the Quinjet was involved. Not only did you have a natural talent, but the feeling of being above everything, crossing the sky; that was very liberating for you.
It’s the perfect time to enjoy the view, too. The sun isn’t too high, and the mist is still lifting from the ground. You begin to let go of the tension of the past few days, recognising the path that will take you back to a safe space.
“Everything ok?” you turn to look at Billy and Tommy, and they nod, looking excitedly out the window, pointing at the mountains and the water of the river that glisten with the sunrays.
“You might wanna go back with them. It’s not gonna be the best landing” you warn Wanda and she goes to the backseat, casually drapping her hands around their shoulders. She wants to hold them, without raising any alarm bells about her sudden proximity.
Truth be told, even if you are a little rusty, you touch ground almost perfectly, smiling at them when the dust settles.
“It’s going to be a bit of a walk from here, but we can take a break by the river and eat something” you say, the kids jumping out of the plane and going straight to running around the trees. “Need any help?”
“Yes, please” Wanda says, and you hold your hand out. Once she takes it, you pull her over your shoulder, making her yelp.
“Ass” she mutters when you put her down.
Except there’s no annoyance in her tone, not this time. You smile back, leading her around the path to a small clear. You hand over sandwiches and some chips, while Wanda’s backpack has water and juice boxes for the kids. For your part, you take out a flask, enjoying the taste of scotch.
“Must you really?” Wanda says and you shrug your shoulders.
When the kids are done, they approach the edge of the lake, throwing rocks and playing with the water. You are leaning back on a log, watching them with a relaxed expression on your face. Between the warmth of the sun, the sound of the water running down the mountains and the fact you didn’t get any sleep, you’re dozzing off in the middle of the mountain. And then Wanda breaks the silence.
“Why aren’t you speaking to Clint?”
“He was one of the idiots that convinced Natasha to go on that god damn mission” after a beat you add. “If Stark wasn’t dead I’d kill him myself. Rogers’ too old now. That would be a bit of a dick move”
“Were you blipped as well?”
“Nope. After you escaped from the Raft I was captured and taken to a secret facility. They thought I was their best bet to get to you so they tried to brainwash me. Didn’t work. By the time they figured it out, they stuffed me in a cryo chamber. Rhodes found me by chance two years ago”
“So you did see Natasha. Before…”
“I was screwed up beyond repair. Angry at everyone. And she was ridden with guilt over failing the world. But yeah, on top of being pissed at everyone, I’m pissed at myself for not stopping her. Then she’d still be alive”
But I’d be gone. And I wouldn’t have Tommy and Billy.
Of course. You’d choose Natasha over Wanda. Was that even a question? And how stupid of her to think she could have a chance.
But when Wanda looks at you, you’re just staring straight ahead, not bothering to apologize or correct yourself.
You said it loud and clear, you’d be happier if Natasha didn’t bring her back. She misses your shocked expression when she stands up, walking to the kids and telling them to get ready for the rest of the road.
“Which way?” she says, ready to lead them. You point at the river. You have to follow it all the way down to where it turns into a lake, and then you’ll be closer to your destination.
Wanda nods and turns away from you, making sure her kids are right behind her.
You try to catch up, make small talk. But you kinda get the hint when she pushes a branch out of her way, only to drop it right into your face a second later.
So, she’s back to hating you.
The steep terrain gives way to more gentle slopes, the valley broadening as you make your way down. In spite of Wanda’s renewed dislike for you, you try to enjoy the view. It’s been a while since you’ve taken this road.
“Are we almost there?” Billy says, getting exhausted.
“Yeah. Just 30 more minutes or so. Come on, climb on my back” you offer, and he’s happy to take you up on it. Tommy seems to be doing fine, running around with abandonment and testing the limits of his speed.
True to your word, a half an hour later you stop at the floodplain.
“What now? Are we supposed to keep walking forever? Is that your great plan?” Wanda says, arms on her hips.
“We’ll cross the river and then we’ll be almost there” you answer, trying to keep your cool.
Even if she’s being unreasonable, you really don’t want to go back to being at each other’s throats.
“How are we even supposed…?”
“Jesus, don’t you have magic, Maximoff?” you finally snap.
“You’re right. Come, kids”
Sure enough, it takes a small amount of her power to help them cross, and she smiles as you stay on the other side, rolling your eyes. The current is a bit strong, but not enough to drag you. Water is freezing cold, and you try not to show how uncomfortable you feel when it gets to your knees.
Five minutes later, you’re on the other side, avoiding Wanda’s stare.
Maybe this is a really bad idea, but it’s too late to back down now.
You pull a small boat from a hiding place, gesturing for them to get inside before you push it in the water.
“We’ve never been on a boat before” Tommy says, excited at the idea of being surrounded by water. You smile at him, enjoying how the current is taking you back home, the wind steady and soft as you steer the boat through the path you know too well.
You prefer to fly, but sailing is a close second and you’ve managed to do both in one day. That’s a win in your book, no matter how bitchy Wanda gets.
A spalsh of water that goes straight to your face lets you know she heard that.
Idiot.
It takes you by surprise. Clear as day, her voice in your head.
You turn around, considering if you should throw her overboard. With a sigh, you decide it would be too much trouble to take care of the boys alone.
“Home, sweet home” you say as you finally approach the small wooden pier, smiling at the familiar sight of the hill that leads you to a place you love.
“Where are we?” Billy says, following you out of the boat. Tommy watches as you tie the rope to keep it there, the small movement making it hard for Wanda to stand up and jump out.
Even if it would be really funny to see her fall, you decide to be the bigger person, reaching for her and carrying her out of the boat.
“I am doing fine”
“Sure, princess”
“Let go of me”
Once again, she moves the conversation to your mind.
Savage.
What does it take to shut that mouth of yours?, you think.
And then, unexpectedly, your mind goes to the filthiest place it can think of. The image of Wanda, on her knees, her mouth open as you sink your strap deep in her throat.
“Out of my head” you yell when Wanda gasps.
“I hate you” Wanda mutters, trying to free herself from your grip, hoping you won’t notice how much she’s blushing right now.
The sudden movement makes the boat rock back and forth, and before you can react, you’re both falling into the water.
“See what you did!”
“I was trying to help, you pushed me!”
“Shut up or I’m drowning you, Y/N” Wanda says, swimming to the shore.
You stay back, sinking underwater and letting out a scream.
Wanda saw that.
Fucking god damn it.
—
As punishment, you take the coldest shower, banging your head against the bathroom tiles over and over again.
Where the fuck did that come from?
You know what, you don’t even want to know. Doesn’t matter. It’s been a while for you, you live alone… it doesn’t mean anything.
Nothing at all.
Whatever.
As you step out of your bathroom, and change into some comfortable clothes -and God, how good it feels to have your own stuff again, you look around the room. It feels as if it’s been longer, instead of a couple of days. But also, it’s been a while since you were on a mission.
If you could even call it that.
By the time you walk out of your bedroom and down the stairs, you catch sight of Wanda, examining the pictures on the wall.
Most of them are with Natasha, or other Avengers. She sees herself in one of them, and she remembers that mission. How Natasha almost died, and you practically ripped in half the man that tried to shoot her.
“Fun times” you comment, eyes landing on that same picture. Of course you remember. “Had a big argument that night, told Natasha it always felt like she was going out of her way to get herself killed”
“Weren’t we all? Taking too many risks. As if they had to prove something to the world” Wanda sighs.
“The world doesn’t give a shit about us, so I don’t see why…”
“I’m sorry” Wanda says suddenly, turning to look at you. “For your loss. I never got around… I never told you”
“I’m sorry for your loss too” you smile softly, looking at the rest of the pictures, avoiding her eyes. “They should have let you see him. At the very least”
“He doesn’t even have a grave”
“Hers is empty” you say, swallowing.
The only time you spoke to Clint, was to get him to tell you everything. How it happened. You punched him square in the face, called him a fucking coward and left.
That was that.
“Thought I saw some movement” a man says, knocking on the door.
Wanda jumps, but you place your hand in her waist, easing her nerves.
“Hey, Sykes. I was back sooner than I expected. How’d she do?”
“Let me feed her, that’s about it. She’s a stubborn one”
“Yeah, I have my share of those” you comment, sneaking a glance at Wanda. “Wanda, this is Sykes, my neighbor”
“Neighbor? I didn’t see another property in miles” Wanda comments, accepting his hand.
“Yeah, that’s right. Y/N here has a big land. Lets us use it for some crops, though. Least I can do is look after the horse and the pup when she’s gone. Speaking of which” he turns, whistling.
A black and white dog comes sprinting through the door, straight to your arms.
“Hey, monster!”
“Puppy!” Tommy and Billy come back that very moment, and Riley is all too happy to play around them.
“See ya around, have a good one” Sykes says goodbye and you wave your hand, sighing happily.
“Wanna take a tour of the place? We can see the ducks by the pond”
Billy and Tommy cheer, and you turn to look at Wanda. She shakes her head no, claiming the journey was a little too exhuasting for her.
You nod, telling her to make herself at home, taking the kids around the very big farm.
Wanda’s tired, but also a bit restless. She never imagined you’d be living in a place like this. The house seems very old, but not worned down; the slightly different color of the painting told the story of recent renovations. Judging by the tools and materials in the shed, it was all done by you.
There’s a large dining room, a living room and in the far corner of the first floor, a study. Wanda walks in, noticing that the walls are covered in books, some paintings and old pictures scattered around.
She opens a picture book, taken aback by the sight of you, at least fifty years ago. She notices how time passes for the people around you, wrinkles and grey hair appearing more frequently. But you’re the same.
Was this your family home? And if so, what happened to the other people?
She must have spent more time than she thought inside the study, because you come back a while later, calling for her.
“Hey” you say, surprised to see her leaving the study.
“I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry”
“No, that’s fine. I’m just going to the grocery store, there’s nothing here. Need anything?”
“The usual, to cook us something”
“I was thinking I could prepare dinner tonight. If that’s fine by you” you say with a small smile.
“Right, you need to make it to taste it”
“Just wanted to do something nice” you say.
Wanda nods, averting your gaze. Of course. She doesn’t mean to be rude, but you make it so hard to keep her distance.
One minute you’re offering to make dinner, the next you’re implying that you wish she was still gone.
You take her silence as your cue to leave, telling the kids to stay back with their mother.
“Riley will give you a run for your money, kids. I can never get her tired” you say, offering your dog’s favorite ball.
As you pull out of the driveway, you find that the sight of the two kids playing, while Wanda sits on the porch steps, laughing and calling out for them… it’s not unpleasant.
You told yourself you were done. Alone was better, alone meant no risks.
And now, you wonder.
Did you really mean it?
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My Girlfriend Faked Her Amnesia (Wen Junhui)
Reverse Trope Series Installment 4
It wasn’t always that life gave one the chance to hit reset, but now that Jun had gotten it, he didn’t have long before time ran out - 10 days to valentine's day which meant 10 chances to make his amnesiac girlfriend remember him again. But it wasn’t going to be a cakewalk - after all, how could one be reminded of the past if they were only pretending to forget?
Pairing - Wen Junhui x afab! Reader
Word Count- 29k
Genre - Heavy angst, romance, hurt comfort, mild humor and as usual, yes, smut - This piece is lowkey inspired by the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!
Warnings - Car accident, mentions of blood, memory loss, hospital setting
A/n - Hello my loves! This is my bit for the Lonely Hearts Cafe Collab hosted by the wonderful @camandemstudios, my first ever collab! Please do also check out the stories by all the other writers - everyone has been working super hard on this! I hope you enjoy this piece and leave your thoughtsss :) To be added to the reverse tropes taglist, please comment under this post :)
Smut warnings - This is only the first half (12k) of the story and there is no smut in it yet. Warnings will be added for the second half!
The End: 27th December 2024
"Careful!"
You quickly swerved to the side of the road, the car screeching to a stop as the honking truck zoomed past you.
Fuck. Gripping the steering wheel tight, you let out a sigh of relief, your wandering thoughts returning to the present. That was close.
The man beside you mumbled something under his breath as he unbuckled his seatbelt before alighting the car and opened your door, wordlessly asking you to get out.
You complied, allowing him to take over your role as the driver and quietly slid in the passenger seat.
Adjusting the mirror he glanced up and down the snow clad road before driving off into the darkness. Again, without saying a word.
That's how things had been between the two of you for a while now. Silent.
Some might say that after nearly 10 years of being together, the two of you didn't need words to communicate anymore, you just understood each other so well. But only you knew the reality - there was nothing left to say. Everything was at the edge of falling apart.
You glanced down at your hands, fingers fidgeting. Yes it was cold but it was the emptiness that bothered you.
Your boyfriend shot you a look before his hand hovered over the controls of the car.
"Are you feeling cold?"
See, he didn't understand. He never seemed to understand. And you were tired of explaining but a tiny voice in your head said to try just once more.
"My mum was asking why there's no ring yet?" Caressing the fingers of your left hand, you looked up, far off at the skies where the morning sun still hadn't made its way up.
“And what did you say?”
You turned to him, not hiding the incredulous expression donning your face, “What am I supposed to say Jun?” He looked straight ahead, eyes more focused on the road than required. “How does one answer a question like this?”
His Adam's apple bobbed with his gulp. “That....we’re not ready?”
“And looking at us, who will buy that?”
Jun kept quiet again, perhaps because he knew you were right.
The two of you had been together for the majority of your lives which meant your families, friends, colleagues all were a consistent witness of your relationship. Even over the last week, when you were spending Christmas with your family at the ski cabin, your sister wouldn’t stop talking about how you two were perfect for one another. She didn’t know that behind closed doors, in the privacy of your room, the two of you slept with your backs facing each other.
Jun sighed, noticing you were getting lost in your thoughts again. “Why do we have to justify ourselves to anyone anyways Y/n? This is our life-”
“You’re right, there’s no need to justify anything to anyone. But you can tell me why, right?” You half turned towards him, leaning against the car door. “You and I can talk about why we’re nearing our thirties and still haven’t made any decision about getting married?”
“Jesus, twenty five is not considered thirties Y/n." He rolled his eyes exasperated. "Besides, what does age have to do with marriage? Getting married should be something that we decide because we want to spend our lives with each other.”
You blinked at him. “Then do you not want to spend your life with-”
“I did not say that.” He glanced at you before quickly looking back at the road. “Of course, I do. Baby, you and I live together, we do everything together, we are as good as married-”
“So then a wedding would just be a formality right-”
“No, it would be a show!” You flinched a little as he raised his voice, annoyed. “It would be to show the world something, to prove to others that we are committed and will last through it all, as though signing a few documents is a guarantee of that.”
“Marriage isn’t just about that Jun. Do you have any idea how many things will become easier - buying a house, getting loans, so many logistics-”
He scoffed, shaking his head slowly. “That’s what marriage is to you? A practical, logical, legal binding?”
Biting your lower lip you let out a deep breath. “If you think it should mean much more or that it should be made purely on emotions then what’s stopping you? Or do you not love me anymore-”
“Why would you say that?” He groaned, like he was tired of this conversation. “I do love you, more than anything. Which is why I want you to be able to focus on yourself without taking the burden of a marriage. I want you to fulfill all the dreams you have for your career, for your professional growth-”
“Jun, I can do all of that while being married too-”
“Marriage changes people! It changes priorities, it changes expectations-”
“So that’s what you’re afraid of? Expectations? Because I expect you to be a bit more responsible? To get your act together-”
“It won’t stop at that will it?” He sighed. “This is all our life is going to be - First it’ll be about dividing household chores, who’ll do dishes, who’ll take out the trash. Next it’ll be about finding the perfect house and having children-”
“We’ve talked about this and you said you didn’t have a problem with having children Jun.” You snapped at him, triggered at his words. “I’m not getting any younger here-”
“And I’ve not grown up!” He slammed the wheel with his hand. “I do want to have kids someday but not now, not any time soon. I… I can barely look after myself, how am I going to look after a child? And if I’m incapable it will mean that you will have to carry the burden of it all - of raising the child, of me and of yourself and I don’t want that for you.”
You fell silent again, realising that the conversation was going just like it always did.
You would go on to insist that you were ready for whatever was to come and the time was right now, Jun would insist that he isn’t willing to let you take on so much and that marriage shouldn’t be about timing, it should be about wanting to be with each other. You would then claim he’s being too emotionally driven about this and he would claim that you were being too practical and the conversation would just be about the two of you justifying your point of views, reaching no conclusion.
This is what happened every single time. This was what was going to happen again now. And frankly, you were tired of it.
“When did we start wanting such different things?” You glanced at the road that disappeared into the darkness. The early morning light was not enough to illuminate the path ahead. “I thought…. we were perfect for each other, that we were meant to be. After nearly ten years, where did it all go wrong?”
You didn’t mean for it to sound hurtful, but Jun had always been the sensitive one.
“Just because we’re not in the same frame of mind right now, doesn’t mean all the years we shared mean nothing.”
“But what does it mean?” You smiled sadly. “We aren’t growing, we aren’t able to help each other grow, what was the point of it all? Ten years and…. we achieved nothing.”
It was like you were leaving arrow after arrow to pierce his heart - he knew you were the reasonable kind - always planning, always making lists, always marking milestones. Whatever you were saying now, had to be the result of a moment of frustration, not because you were questioning the love that you had for each other…. right?
You weren’t regretting this, were you?
He let out the breath he was holding. “Then maybe it would have been better if the last ten years didn’t happen at all.”
Please say I’m wrong Y/n. Please say prove me wrong, please say we’re worth it.
Although you were never really one to be driven by emotions, Jun always was. The one who never forgot anniversaries, the one who always tried to make every moment special, the one who always reminded you that you were not each other’s habits but each other’s love. Had things gone so far that the man who savoured every moment of being in love with you, thought it was better that you never met?
“Is that what you really think?” You whispered, ignoring the feeling of something pricking the back of your eyes.
Jun turned to you surprised. How could you even think that? Of course not-
“Careful!”
Headlights beamed from right across, but this time, Jun’s quick swerve was not enough.
As the car skidded wildly, with a sickening crunch it slammed into the side of the oncoming truck, the momentum sending it toppling over, rolling violently onto its roof with a screech of metal. As it came to a stop, the sun rose from above the clouds far away and steam rose from what was remaining of the crumpled vehicle. In the heavy stillness that followed, alongside the eerie whisper of the wind, streams of red mixed with the white of the snow.
Your boyfriend’s hand extending towards you was the last thing you saw before everything went black.
The Afterlife: 31st December 2024
Pain.
Unbearable pain.
That's what was searing through his body, over and over again. Everywhere, in every inch…. Just pain.
Perhaps because he hadn’t stopped running.
Jun had been running in the forest for what seemed like forever. Where to? He had no idea. Where from? He didn’t know that either.
All he knew was he was looking for something he had lost. Something clearly precious to him. Something he couldn’t live without.
Yet ignorantly, he kept running. Until....
Jun.
Your voice echoed around him like a soft whisper. Finally stopping by the lake, he looked around, frantically trying to find you.
It was then, across the frozen crystal clear waters he saw you - beautiful as ever, the only bright thing in the dark, daunting woods.
He wanted to go to you, he wanted to be with you but the slippery ice didn’t let him take a step forward.
Instead, you took a step back.
Then another one.
Then another.
Jun continued to call out your name, trying to stop you from receding into the shadows but in vain. Slowly you disappeared into the darkness, the black of the woods engulfing you as Jun fell to his knees, the ice cracking under him.
Shutting his eyes, he attempted to stop the pain but it only got worse. It was just pain, pain, pain.
When he opened them, white flickering lights were strangely swaying above him.
Blinking, Jun tried to see clearly but just then, the ice finally gave away, submerging him into the cold waters.
As the icy waters of the lake dragged him down, Jun felt his eyes slowly shut again and your name was the last thing he remembered.
The Awakening: 27th January 2025
The blur flickering light of the ceiling became clear as the rhythmic beeping of machines slowly pulled him from the depths of unconsciousness.
Head throbbing and body aching, an unsettling sense of disorientation washed over him, like he had been asleep for too long. Slowly raising himself on his elbows, Jun looked around, eyes finding the strange setting of a hospital room, the overwhelming smell of antiseptic finally hitting him.
Shutting his eyes again, he tried to recollect what happened, how he ended up here……
“Y/n…”
The argument.
The crash.
The sight of your eyes fluttering shut as blood trickled down your face.
“Fuck.” He mumbled, looking at all the tubes and wires attached to him, holding him back. Without an ounce of care, he tugged them off, triggering the loud alarms of the machines but before his feet even touched the cold tile of the floor, the doors flung open and a handful of people donning impeccably white coats spilled in, looking worried.
“Sir, please don’t-”
“Where’s Y/n?”
“You need to calm down, you’re not ok-”
He grabbed the collar of the man before him. “Don’t tell me to calm down. Where is Y/n?”
“We…” The doctor looked terrified. “Who is Y/n?”
Annoyed, Jun tugged on his shirt harder. “The car crash, there was a woman with me in the car, in the passenger seat, where is she?”
“What woman?” The man stuttered, looking at his team confused. “You were brought to our hospital alone.”
Shocked, Jun loosened his grip, allowing the doctor to quickly move back, putting himself at an arm’s distance.
Alone?
“That’s not possible….” He muttered. “She was with me, she should be here…”
“The accident happened in the countryside so you were taken to the nearest emergency care but your injuries were too severe so they shifted you here, to the city hospital.” The doctor looked at him slightly hesitating. “Maybe there was a woman with you, but she wasn’t brought here. Either her condition wasn’t serious enough or she didn’t….”
Eyes narrowing, Jun looked at the shivering man before him. “She didn’t, what?”
“S-she didn’t make it-”
“How dare you?” He spoke between gritted teeth, charging towards the doctor, only to be quickly held back by the nurses around him. “How dare you even suggest something like that-”
“Mr. Junhui, I was only stating the possibility-”
“What you’re saying is not possible-”
“Sir please, your heart rate is getting erratic-”
“I don’t care, I need to find her-”
“You can’t leave.”
“Stop me if you can.” Jun pulled himself free from the grip of those around him, leaving for the door, glaring at the crowd challengingly.
Only one of them dared to step forward - a woman, one not wearing a doctor’s coat, looking at him with sympathy rather than fear.
“Sir please….” She whispered softly, slowly approaching him, ignoring the worried looks of those around her. “I understand your worry and I’m so sorry for this but you need to calm down…. I have no other choice.”
Jun frowned as she neared, maintaining a strong, unavoidable eye contact, the contents of her hands completely missing his vision. Before he could understand what was happening, there was a prick in his arm, hands reaching out to him and the flickering light blurred again as his eyes shut.
28th January 2025
“Let me go.”
The events from about 24 hours ago had repeated again.
The fluttering lights, the machines, the wires, the tubes, the doctors - everything happened in the same sequence except there was one difference this time. When Jun tried to pull on the wires and swing his legs off the bed, he found all four of his limbs restrained.
“Please.” He whispered. “I need to find Y/n.”
“Sir, there really was no woman brought along with you.” The woman’s eyes reflected the same sympathy they had since the day he had been wheeled in. “We got your records from the emergency center you were taken to.”
Pulling out a bunch of papers from a file, she placed it on his lap. “There was a woman with you but she was discharged from there within a week.”
“A-a week?” Jun stuttered, looking around. “How long has it been since the accident?”
“Almost…” She looked at the papers thoughtfully. “Almost a month. You’ve been unconscious all this while, you sustained a traumatic injury to your-”
“What about Y/n?”
Stepping up and reading through the papers, the doctor from earlier spoke with his expertise. “She had a severe injury on her head too but she gained consciousness about a week after the accident and she…. just left.”
“Just left?” It felt as though something cold was just dumped on his head. “Just left me?”
“Mr. Jun, we’re not sure what exactly happened but….” The woman looked at him uncertainly. “The last few weeks that you were here, no woman has come to visit you. Y/n hasn’t been around.”
Jun let out a shaky breath, “She probably didn’t know I was here. She… she must be looking for me, she must be so worried. I should go to her-”
“You’re not well enough to leave.” The doctor spoke from behind the woman, worried even though Jun’s movements were restrained. “I wouldn’t suggest-”
“I don’t want your suggestion. I want you to open these-” He tugged on the belts. “-so I can go.”
Everyone exchanged looks, shifting in their places.
“Open them!”
“Again, I’m sorry Mr. Jun.” The woman approached him slowly, an injection clearly visible in her hand this time. “This is for your good.”
Once again, everything became blur before it all went dark.
31st January 2025
“She didn’t pick the call.” The woman without a coat, who’s name Jun learnt was Mira, walked up to him. “Again.”
Sighing, Jun looked outside the window. The streets were busy - cars were going up and down, people were walking about, some laughing, some stressed. But everything was moving, everyone was moving. Only his life had come to a standstill.
“Do you remember anyone else’s number?”
Jun shook his head. “Who even memorises numbers these days? Everything is stored on my phone-”
“-which broke in the accident.” She finished for him.
“I only remember my girlfriend’s number because she forced me to remember it in case of emergencies like these.” He chuckled softly, walking up to the wall with the pictures of the two of you stuck all over. He ran his fingers over the picture of you hugging him from behind, head resting on his shoulder. “She was always so well prepared, always a step ahead….. except now.”
When Jun woke up 3 days ago, Mira had been there to tell him you were nowhere to be found. She had looked for you at home, which had been abandoned for over a month, at the library where you often worked on your projects, at the stores where you preferred to shop, at the park where you jogged every morning. You were nowhere.
Your family was nowhere to be seen either - the house was locked and the neighbours claimed they had gone somewhere overseas. There was no trace of you at all - it was like you had vanished into thin air, like you were just a mirage, a dream.
“I wish I could help Jun.” Mira walked up to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, looking around his apartment. “I’m sorry the only thing I could assist you with is getting you back home. But I had someone clean up the place so it should be more habitable now.”
“Thank you Mira, for everything.” He muttered, slowly moving her arm away, tearing his eyes away from the photographs. “I’m sorry, I… I think I should….. shower, I smell like the hospital.”
She nodded as Jun disappeared into the washroom, wordlessly asking her to leave. Grabbing her bag, she shot him one last sad look as she hesitatingly made her way out.
Standing before the mirror, Jun sighed at his reflection - he had never seen himself look this lifeless. Wincing in pain, he removed his shirt slowly, pulling it over his head - almost healed gashes and wounds were littered all over his torso.
The memory of an injured you flashed behind his shut eyes.
“Where are you Y/n?” He whispered, trying not to let his voice shake. “Come back to me.”
Jun glanced at the small coffee shop across the road, one he had never seen before, the hanging sign board slowly swaying in the cold wind - Lonely Hearts Cafe.
So many things had changed over the last month. He, who was the biggest homebody known to mankind, could not bear to stay in his house for another minute. Not where every inch of it was filled with the essence of you, where everything was a reminder of you. A part of him was relieved that there were pictures and traces of you were everywhere - that meant you were real, not a figment of his imagination…. but that also made your absence hurt more.
He had spent the last few hours wandering the streets mindlessly, trying not to let everything outside the haven the two of you built together remind him of you too.
But there you were, in your favourite pizza shop on the corner of the street, munching on a slice. Just as he approached, shocked and frantic, you disappeared, like you were never there. And then he saw you again, at the hairdressers this time, getting just the ends trimmed, like always. And then you were by the butchers, petting that little dog you adored. And then by the lake, glancing at the frozen waters, vanishing as usual when he approached to stand by you. Even though you weren’t really around, his eyes found the memories of you everywhere - it was like he didn’t know a life without you.
There was no life without you.
The cafe he was currently staring at was perhaps the only place that Jun knew he wouldn’t see you. It looked new, like a business that had just freshly found itself in this vicinity but something about it was also whimsical and fairytale-like, as though it was someone’s old dream came true. Jun had never been a coffee kinda guy - Chinese tea was usually his go-to beverage so it didn’t make sense why he felt this strange urge to go in. Maybe because he knew he wouldn’t be haunted by your absence there.
At first, he took a step ahead, attempting to go towards it but he was unable to take another - he didn’t want to not see you. Even though it hurt, he’d rather see the memories of you everywhere than familiarise himself with a life without you.
So shaking his head, he turned away, heading back home, going back to everything that reminded him of you when…… something caught his eye.
At first, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him again because there was no way….
Inching closer, ignoring the oncoming traffic and the screaming drivers, he crossed the road, standing right before the large glass windows of the shop. Slowly raising his hand, he wiped the condensation off the frosted glass, catching a clear sight of what was inside.
You.
There you were, walking about in a little checkered apron, placing cups of coffee on the table as you flashed your bright smile at those who were seated.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Jun turned around, fists tightened painfully. You’ll disappear again, just like all those times before, you’ll disappear again, he was just imagining this, projecting his innermost desire. You weren’t really here….right?
But the sound of your laughter told him he was wrong. Quickly turning back, he caught sight of you again, making your way to the counter, putting cash into a large glass jar on the wooden shelf.
As though in a trance, Jun walked over to the door and pushed it open, eyes not leaving you as you laughed and scribbled something down on a notepad before walking to the tables with a bounce in your strut he had never seen before.
Just as your name found itself on the tip of his tongue, you stopped your tracks and turned around, eyes finding him walking in, lips curling with a wide smile.
“Hi sir, welcome to Lonely Hearts Cafe.” Clutching the notepad to your chest, you beamed at him. “Do you want to take a seat or get a drink to go?”
“Y/n…” He whispered, barely able to hear himself, taking a small step ahead.
“Oh I almost forgot,” You softly smacked your head. “If you’re interested, we’re having a small valentines special event, for singles. Any two people who get the exact same drink will be paired to sit at the same table. It’s kind of a ‘if your tastes match, maybe you guys will too’ sort of concept?”
Given he was staring at you with a vacant expression, you blinked at him like you weren’t quite sure if he understood.
Jun didn’t understand. Why were you behaving like he was a stranger? Like you didn’t know him.
Maybe…. this wasn’t you.
“So…” Tucking your loose fringes behind your ear, you tried searching his face for an answer. “What would you like?”
Jun’s eyes flickered to the healing gash on your forehead, the night of the accident, flashing in his mind again.
It was you. There was no doubt it was you.
And so without a second thought, Jun took two big strides, pulling you towards him, wrapping his arms around you tightly, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
“Excuse me?! Sir-”
“Where have you been?” He muttered, not realising you were struggling to break free from his grip. “I’ve been looking for you-”
“Get off me!” Using all your strength, you pushed him off you, causing the man to take a few staggering steps back, shocked.
All heads in the cafe turned towards the two of you, a strange silence descending upon the room before hushed whispers broke out. Flashing a fake smile at everyone, you quickly grabbed Jun by his wrist, leading him out of the cafe, shutting the door behind you.
“What the hell was that?” You glared at him. “Sir, I don’t know who you think you are, but that was unacceptable.”
Jun blinked at you confused. “I thought….I thought-”
“I don’t care what you thought.” You crossed your arms looking stern, all the warmth from earlier having left your being. “If I ever see you in my cafe again, I swear to god I will call the cops.”
“You…” Jun looked at you incredulously. “You’ll call the cops on me?”
“Most definitely.”
It didn’t make sense. None of this made sense. Why would you call the cops on him? Were you mad at him about something?
Jun’s racked his mind, trying to think of the last conversation the two of you had. The night of the accident. He couldn’t remember all too well, but the image of you glancing at your empty ring finger flashed in his mind.
“Is this about….getting married?” You frowned as Jun ran his hands through his hair. “If it really means this much to you then, fine, let’s get married. I just wanted it to be-”
“Married?” You looked at him like you couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Why on Earth would I marry you? I don’t even know you-”
“Jun!”
At the sound of his name, Jun turned around, only to find himself being slammed into the familiar chest of a tall, lanky man. The fragrance of expensive perfume immediately told him who it was - His best friend Minghao. As Jun tried to break free from his friend’s untimely interruption, Minghao held him tight, whispering in his ear.
“Don’t say a word.”
“Mr. Xu.” You glanced at the intertwined figures of both men, eyebrows furrowed. “You know this man?”
“Y/n.” Breaking free, Minghao threw his arm around Jun, flashing a hard smile. “This is Jun, he’s a dear friend. Sorry if he said anything or got out of line - he was just discharged from the hospital after a big accident, he’s a bit disoriented.”
“Oh.” You looked at him up and down as though it all made sense and you were unable to decide whether to feel sympathetic or stand your ground. “Mr. Jun, I’m sorry you went through all that but whatever you did, that was not appropriate at all.”
“Y/n what-”
“Yes of course.” Minghao squeezed Jun’s shoulder, shutting him up. “He won’t be troubling you again.”
“If you really do need a cup of coffee, there are a lot more shops down the street that I’m sure will suit your taste.” You took a step back, reaching for the door again, expression unreadable. “Please don’t come back to me.”
With that you pushed the door open and disappeared into the cafe allowing Minghao to finally let go of his friend who turned to him, beyond confused.
“What…. What was that?” He pointed at you, waiting the tables again inside, like nothing happened. Like he didn’t exist.
“Jun…” Minghao let out a shaky breath, looking carefully at his friend. “Let’s go home, I’ll explain everything.”
“No.” Shaking his head frantically, he reached for the door again. “I’m not going anywhere without Y/n.”
Moving quickly, Minghao put himself in between, blocking the way.
“Please.” He held his hand out. “Y/n, she…. she won’t come with you.”
Jun looked at him incredulously. “Why not?”
“Because she doesn’t remember….” Minghao spoke slowly, watching his friend’s face carefully. “She doesn’t remember you.”
The throbbing pain was back.
Actually, it never left. The pain was always there, it was him who had suppressed it under everything else. But with the revelation of things, it became unhinged, freely coursing in his being, hurting everywhere.
Minghao poured Jun another cup of tea as the two men sat at the dining table, the latter still clutching a photo of you, trying to make sense of all that he was told.
“She….she doesn’t remember me at all?” He frowned, still confused. “Because of…. you?”
“Because she doesn’t want to.” Minghao corrected his friend, yet again. “Jun, it was her choice to do the procedure.”
The procedure.
Minghao had spoken all about it in great detail for the last half an hour. It all went over his head though, Jun didn’t register a single piece of the information thrown at him except one thing - the procedure was to remove memories.
Yes apparently that was a thing. A new initiative by Minghao’s company - a simple medical procedure in which one could choose to erase their memories of a certain period of time. A process straight out of the sci-fi books - one so ridiculous, Jun would have never believed it if it weren’t coming out of his best friend's mouth.
That his girlfriend had gotten all her memories of him wiped from her mind.
“It makes no sense.” Jun shook his head. “Why would she want to forget me? Why would she choose to…”
Minghao looked at his friend staring at your photo sadly. He had always known Jun to be someone full of life - he was ambitious, passionate and always bursting with energy. But now he looked like the whole world had come crashing around him.
“I’m sorry Jun.” Minghao could feel the guilt eating him on the inside. “All of it happened in my company, right under my nose but I had no idea Y/n had gotten it done till it was all over. Maybe if I had reached the clinic just a little earlier, I could have stopped them from injecting the serum-”
“No Hao, whether you could stop her or not, it won’t change the fact that Y/n wanted to….” Jun swallowed the bile rising in his throat. “She didn’t want to just leave me or walk away from this relationship, she wanted to erase its entire existence from her life. To pretend like it never happened. But why…”
“I wish I knew Jun.” Minghao shook his head softly. “All I know is that this choice mustn't have been easy for her - to forget you she had to have the last 10 years of her life removed. That’s how far she was willing to go to…”
Minghao's words rang in his ears.
10 years….
Maybe it would have been better if the last ten years didn’t happen at all.
The night of the accident…. that's what he had said.
Oh god, was that why you….
What had he done?
“Jun?” Minghao snapped his fingers before his friend's face. “Where are you lost-”
“This was a mistake.” Jun shook his head. “This was all a horrible misunderstanding. I didn’t mean…”
“Mean what?”
Jun couldn’t even recall why he had said that. It was like his brain was suppressing the stupidity from recurring.
“I need to talk to her. I need to fix this.”
“How exactly-”
“I’ll marry her, right this instant if that’s what it takes-”
“Jun no-”
“Hao, yes.” He turned to his friend, determined. “I can fix it. I can talk to her and sort this out. Just help me put her memories back again-”
“That’s not-”
“-and I’ll make her see how much I love her-”
“Jun, that's not possible.” Minghao raised his voice, interrupting his friend’s rant. “Dealing with memories isn’t child’s play. It's one thing to remove them, but to restore them? That’s impossible.”
It felt like everything around was shattering. “You mean she won't ever….”
Minghao shook his head, delivering the final blow. “She won't… ever.”
Jun stared at the photo in his hand.
Minghao, who had insisted on staying the night, had hit the shower, his tea sitting cold in its cup.
Cold draft was blowing in through the open kitchen window. The tips of his fingers were frozen but they were not colder than the thing wrapping around his heart, eating it away.
Minghao’s last words as he was lingering by the door rang in his ears.
“Y/n chose to forget you Jun, she chose to restart her life. Maybe it’s best that you do too.”
Restart his life? Pretend like you didn’t exist and move on? How on Earth was he supposed to do that?
He glanced at the room around him - at the pictures of you on the walls, at the vase you brought back from your trip to spain, at the coasters you always made sure to use, at the rug you specifically had made to match the couch, at every single thing in his life that was a testament of you. How was he supposed to forget all of it?
But the truth was, you had forgotten it all. You had walked out of his life, your home and everything the two of you had built together over the last 10 years. None of this around him meant anything to you anymore.
You had built a new world for yourself, one which Jun had reached, lost in his thoughts. The cafe, the coffee, the customers, the infectious smile on your face, the little bounce in strut, the way your hair fell over your shoulder as you’d turn - you had built something that had no trace of him but more importantly, you looked so happy. Jun couldn’t remember the last time he saw you smile this wide, or even laugh at something stupid. The winter was harsh on the city outside but everything around you seemed so warm.
Maybe Minghao was right. Maybe it was best that he forgot it all too.
1st February 2025
“Where do I put this?”
Jun turned to Mira who was holding up a bunch of books in her arms.
“They're all cookbooks, but I'm not sure whether to put it in the box with her law books or in the one with magazines.”
“We can just leave these out.” Taking them from here, Jun walked into the kitchen. “We don't have to put away everything.”
Sighing Mira followed him. “Jun, boss said everything. Everything that belongs to her, everything that reminds you of her.”
Jun stared at the books in his hands. Two hours ago, he was sprawled on the couch half asleep, your scarf wrapped around his hand, a frame with your photo in his arms. Much to his annoyance, the consistent ringing of the bell forced him to drag himself to the door and standing on the other side was Mira.
Jun didn't think he would ever have any reason to see her again but apparently, Mira wasn't just a random hospital staff who helped him - she was in fact Minghao's employee, a psychiatrist who worked in his Memory Wipe project and was asked by him to look after Jun till he came around, as a favour. That day when she left the apartment, she had immediately told Minghao about all that happened - that's how he found his friend declaring he was ready to marry you in front of the coffee shop. Mira though, had no idea about you or that you had your memories wiped - she only found out when Minghao, who left early in the morning for a meeting, sent her over to Jun’s house with a new phone and a contract. A contract to obliterate the last 10 years of his memories.
“You want me to erase her existence?” Jun furiously muttered into the phone. “How did you even think-”
“Will you be able to survive with her memories?” Even though he couldn't see his face, Jun knew Minghao was donning a sorry expression. “It'll kill slowly you, Jun. Not being able to be with her, not being able to forget her, not being able to move on. If I had to name something worse than hell, this is it.”
For long after the call ended, Jun stared at the contact papers on the coffee table, his mind disturbed. As much as he didn't want to distance himself from you, could he really live with the fact that you'll never be his again? It had been barely 2 days since he was awake and he was already at the verge of losing his mind. Maybe it was better he too forgot it all.
But it also pained him to think that if both of you forgot everything, then there was no one who truly knew the kind of pure and unwavering love the two of you shared over the last ten years. At least for the sake of those, he had to stay strong, he had to live with this. But could he really?
And it was thoughts like this that had him rooted to his chair for over an hour.
“You don't have to decide now.” Mira interrupted his cycle of thought, tired of watching his unmoving figure. “The procedure is simple. I already have the 10 year formula ready in your name. All you have to do is just come by the centre when you're ready - one injection and it'll be done.”
As much as Jun was grateful for the time, there was one thing Minghao wanted him to do immediately - clear the apartment of anything and everything that belonged to you. That's what the two of them were in the middle of right now as Mira glanced at the cookbooks in his hands.
“Jun, whether or not you want to get the Memory Wipe, you need to get rid of all these things. You won't ever move on otherwise-”
“They're cookbooks.” Jun rolled his eyes, placing them on the shelf of the kitchen. “Has it not occurred to you that I might use these myself?”
Mira stared at him like she didn't believe him but Jun ignored her. There was no way he was going to get rid of every last bit of you. What would be left of him then?
All your clothes were packed and stashed in the store room, all the pictures of the two of you were taken down, your books, your things, everything was sealed and locked away. Except a few that Jun refused to let go - the lavender cream you used every night, the harmonica you loved to play, the cookbooks you swore would make you a better chef than him. Jun didn't have the heart to walk away from all of it just yet.
Giving up, Mira began walking away. “I'm going to put her shoes away.”
“Wait.” Aligning the books hurriedly, Jun quickly ran over to the closet. “Maybe just leave those heels.”
Mira looked exasperated. “What use could you possibly have of women's footwear?”
Nothing. Jun just loved those black stilettos you wore to work - the sound of them against the wooden flooring was what told him you were home everyday.
“Jun, this whole thing isn't just about you getting over Y/n. If you plan to do the Memory Wipe, you especially need to do this” Mira stood up sighing. “Imagine losing 10 years of your life and coming home and finding a woman's things all over. You won't remember her, you won't know what happened, you won't have any answers, it'll drive you mad. Please, listen to me, you need to get rid of it all.”
Jun turned away, peeling his eyes from the closet as Mira put the last of your footwear in the boxes, looking at him sadly.
“How did Minghao even design this procedure?” Jun glanced at the contact papers fluttering on the table. “I knew he was indulging in some biomedical R&D, I had no idea it was this intense.”
Mira chuckled. “Biomedical R&D barely covers the scope of what he does. Let's just say the Xu enterprises dabble in a lot of things and the Memory Wipe is their latest project. Actually its just undergoing it's last clinical trial - it’s not even advertised or available for the public.”
“How did Y/n get to know about it then?” Jun frowned like it didn't make sense. “Minghao never talks business with me and I'm sure he's never mentioned it to her either. Then…”
“There were a bunch of lawyers involved in the legal aspects of the clinical trials.” Mira confessed, shrugging. “Maybe she heard from someone in the fraternity.”
“Funny.” Jun smiled sadly. “Y/n has never been one for office gossip. She just liked to get her work done and head straight back home. It was always about efficiency and not wasting time.”
Mira smiled. “That's an admirable work ethic.”
“Right? I wish I had that.” Jun glanced out of the window at the snow tumbling out of the sky. “Maybe she wouldn't have had to work so hard if I did.”
“What do you mean?”
Jun glanced at Mira who had joined him, before continuing to stare out.
“Y/n always believed in working hard. For her, a job was simply a means to make money. She didn't associate it with dreams or passion, it was just… survival? Me on the other hand, ever since I was a child, all I wanted to do was be an actor. I spent the last, god knows how many years, chasing that dream, picturing myself before the cameras, walking down red carpets. If I look back at my life, all I see are auditions and rejections and more rejections.”
“It's not wrong to want to live your dream.”
“No it's not but I don't know how right it is to live with your head in the clouds. Y/n always had her feet on the ground - that was the only reason we survived through it all.”
“So your story is the ‘opposites attract’ kind?”
“I guess.” Jun laughed softly. “We were polar opposites actually. She hates talking, I'm always chatting away. She's a mess, I'm neat. She hates doing household chores, I love doing them. Even in food, she loves sweet things, I like them spicy. Our preferences in anything, be it music or movies or where to go or what to wear, they were always so different but I guess….that's what made things fun. Sometimes she'd adjust for me, sometimes me for her, and though things weren't going our way, we were happy because we were making each other happy.”
“Wow.” Mira let out a breath. “I always thought being in love with someone entirely from me would be difficult to handle.”
“If I'm being honest, there were times it did get difficult.” Jun wiped the condensation off the window with his hand, catching sight of your cafe across the street. “Y/n lived life like it was a checklist. Graduating high school at 18, then law school at 23, first job at 24, marriage at 25, three kids by the time she's 30, retired by 55, starting an organic farm business at 57 and then dying whenever - she had her whole life planned. Me on the other hand, I… live in the moment, go where life takes me. Everything around us is so uncertain, think about the accident”
Jun’s voice shook as fragments of it flashed in his head.
“We could have died, life as we know could have ended, so what's the point in deciding everything so prematurely? I take life by the day, I enjoy every moment - one day I'm doing martial arts classes for kids, one day I'm teaching old women some Chinese dishes, one day I'm doing a modelling contract. End of the day, I still make money to feed myself and pay my bills, I just don't go to bed having the next 10 years of my life planned and somehow….. I think that's what drove us apart. That's why she…” Jun let out a deep breath. “That's why she decided to start afresh. Her practicality and my emotional disposition just… didn't find any middle ground.”
Mira softly placed her hand on Jun's shoulder, caressing it with her thumb. Clearing his throat, he took a step back, tearing his eyes away from the coffee house.
“We should probably continue with the packing.”
Mira nodded as she followed him, the two of them sorting things silently this time. Normally Jun wouldn't ever let go of a chance to talk about you, but now, given he had to speak about you in past tense, Jun couldn't bring himself to talk about you over and over again. Minghao was right, it was all just getting harder and harder.
And so, the next few hours were navigated in mostly silence and occasional questions. By the time the sun had begun to set, the two of them were done - all of your things had been neatly packed and put in the store room, the door locked, keys stashed in Mira's pocket for safe keeping. A couple of things had been piled by the door to be thrown out, Jun's take out dinner had arrived and Mira was lingering by the door, ready to leave. Yet the contract papers were sitting on the table, like an elephant in the room. Unable to hold herself back anymore, Mira sighed.
“Jun, I know Minghao left the choice to you but as a professional and as someone who cares about you, I think it's best you…. " She gulped. "sign the contract. I've seen some couples after the clinical trials, trust me, you don't want to live this weight-”
“Mira,” Jun’s voice left him between gritted teeth. “It's been barely 2 days since I got to know about what Y/n did. I haven't even decided if I am to be sad or angry or stay or move on.” He shut his eyes, running his hands through his hair. “The only reason I agreed to keep her things away or allowed someone else to even touch them was because one, I trust Minghao more than anything and two, if I really want to, I know I'm strong enough to break the door of that storeroom and get everything back. But what you're asking of me, is a permanent change. Please just…. Let me think things through at my pace.”
Mira blinked at him, her hand on the handle of the door, unmoving.
“Thank you for your help yet again Mira, but I think it's time you go.”
And before the apology even left her mouth as she stepped out, Jun shut the door behind her, leaning against it.
He just needed some time. That’s all.
Or at least that's what he thought but in just a few hours, he realised he didn't.
Yesterday was perhaps bearable because Minghao, although he didn't speak much, was there in the house. Today though, heating up his food all alone, sitting at the table by himself, walking around his house in the dimness of the night lights, staring at the empty walls and empty shelves - it was all too much. Jun couldn't bring himself to go another day like this, forget the rest of his life.
Taking a deep breath he sat on the couch, pulling the papers towards himself, then pen in his hand shaking.
He wasn't strong enough for this - he couldn't go on without you.
Finally making up his mind, he gripped the pen tight and signed the contract. There was no other way.
But the universe said otherwise.
If Jun had just turned around and gone to his room, things would've gone down very differently. Maybe if he decided to sleep instead of clearing the dishes and throwing the trash, he would've never thought about clearing all the boxes that Mira left by the door. Maybe then he wouldn't have come across that box.
At first glance when he opened it, it seemed like odd bits of trash - there were pieces of paper, little trinkets, bills and what not. He was just about to throw it when his eye caught the familiar logo on one of the bills - the Lovers Cavern. The first Michelin star restaurant that Jun had taken you to on a date. Frowning, he ran his fingers through the contents of the box, recognising them one by one. Carnival and movie tickets, the crinkled wrapper of the ice cream he loves, the magnets from your first road trip together, the dried corsage from your first dance together…. everything was a thoughtful piece of the time the two of you spent together.
You had been carefully saving them over the last 10 years.
Jun stared at it wordlessly, lost in thought. He had never taken you as one for sentimentality. Hell you didn't even like taking photos or recording videos of your time together, he was always the one who had to pull you in, forcing you to smile. He had always assumed those small moments meant nothing to you but this box told him a different story - you had been treasuring them all these years in your own way. This relationship wasn’t just part of a checklist, you had been emotionally invested in it since the beginning, since 10 years.
Jun could only imagine how much his words must have hurt you that day…. Clearly enough to make you take such a big step. You didn't walk away because you wanted to. You walked away because of him. His words made you…. it was his fault.
Walking over to the window, Jun glanced at your cafe, watching as you stepped out with a couple of bags in your hands, turning off the lights and locking the door. As you balanced your things in your hands, waving for a cab, Jun slowly realised….. Minghao was wrong.
His only options weren't to either live with your memories alone or forget you and move on. There was a third one. One that Jun was about to choose.
He was going to get you back. He had done it once and he could do it again.
Jun was going to make you fall in love with him all over again.
2nd February 2025
Rubbing the back of your sore neck, you sat down at the benches outside the cafe, enjoying the cold.
One might think you were stupid for sitting in the snow clad street in just a small dress and an apron but the heat of the coffee was getting unbearable. Sipping on your own coffee, you glanced at the hustle and bustle down the street. Everyone looked so busy, like they were navigating life with a purpose. This coffee shop had always been your purpose, the dream you had been living for almost a month now yet something felt unfulfilled. Something was missing. Before you could figure out what, a voice broke you out of your reverie.
“Is the same drink, same table offer still going on?”
Raising your head, you let your eyes find the man who interrupted the few minutes of your me-time.
“Mr. Wen Junhui.” You cleared your throat, letting the annoyance show on your face. “I believe I had asked you not to enter my shop?”
“You did.” Jun nodded, sitting down beside you, a few feet away. “And I did not enter your shop - technically I'm outside.”
You glared at him, eyes narrowed.
“Well since you're such an ardent follower of what I say, you shouldn't be sitting with me either because-”
“Because I need to have the same drink as you, right?” Jun cocked his head at you, raising his cup. “And I do.”
“There's no way.” You chuckled, taking a sip. “I can assure you, you don't.”
“Correct me if I'm wrong,” Jun took a sip, smiling to himself because he knew he was not wrong. No one knew you better than him. “But I think that's a caramel macchiato with hazelnut cream.”
Lips slightly parted in surprise, you stared at him.
“M-maybe.” You muttered, taking a sip yourself. “But I still don’t think it’s the exact same-”
“Yeah, it might not be exact.” Jun shrugged nonchalantly. “Not like I’m lactose intolerant or anything but I felt like taking it with oat milk today.”
The cup nearly slipped from your hand. You were lactose intolerant. You always took your coffee with oat milk.
Choosing not to tell him that, you simply continued to stare at the busy crowd. Jun let out an inward sigh of relief knowing he had earned the place to sit next to you.
“Y/n…” Clearing his throat, he corrected himself. Baby steps Jun. “Ms. Y/n I uh actually wanted to apologise about that day.”
You turned to him, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“I had actually just gotten out of the hospital that day and I don’t think the anesthesia wore off completely so I was apparently just going around and…. proposing marriage to various women.”
You raised your eyebrows like you didn’t believe him.
“It’s true, I spent the whole day today saying sorry to every business owner on this street…. And drinking the same coffee order as them. I think I’m going to have a tough time in the bathroom tomorrow….”
Scoffing, you turned away from him and if Jun didn’t know you better, he wouldn’t have known you were hiding a tiny smile.
“Again I’m really Ms. Y/n, I wish that didn’t happen and that we could have a fresh start. I was really looking forward to having coffee here.”
Letting out a deep resigned breath, you stood up, chugging the last of your drink. Tossing the cup in the bin, you turned to him, clasping your hands before you politely, giving him a small smile.
“Mr. Wen Junhui, welcome to Lonely Hearts cafe. We’re a small business that opened just a month ago so we’ve got some really good deals on coffee and cake. We even have a Valentine’s day event - you get to share a table with the person who has the same drink as you. I hope we see you around.”
Returning your smile, Jun got up, giving a small shrug. “That Valentine’s day event is interesting - I would love to… be seen around.” He chuckled, holding his hand out. “It’s nice knowing you Ms. Y/n.”
Glancing at his outstretched hand, you slowly took it, wrapping your fingers around it. Somehow on the cold winter day, there was a strange warmth radiating between the two of you.
“It’s nice getting to know you too Mr. Jun.”
3rd February 2025
“You know, you don’t look like someone who enjoys coffee.”
Jun turned at the sound of your voice, finding you right beside the door he just walked in. You had a tray in your hands and an amused smile on your face.
“What makes you say that?”
“The face you made yesterday?” You laughed as you walked in, Jun following behind you. “I’ve never seen someone look so disgusted while drinking coffee.”
Jun suppressed a smile as he leaned against the counter. “Oh so you were watching me.”
Rolling your eyes, you walked towards the machines. “I happened to see.”
“The one yesterday was just too sweet.” He shuddered, recalling the taste. “My taste buds were dying.”
“Well obviously it was sweet, it’s caramel.” You pulled out a piece of cake, putting it on the counter as a waitress walked over, taking it. “Did you expect it to taste like Malatang?”
Oh Jun would love some Malatang right now.
“No, but something told me your coffee would taste much better than that one.”
You chuckled, pulling up a cup. “Is that going to be your order for today?’
“Nope.” Jun shook his head. “I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”
“What I’m having?” You frowned, confused.
“How else will I be able to share a table with you?”
Jun could tell you were holding back a smile. “And why would you want to do that?”
“I thought coffee with a side of conversation would be nice.”
“I’m working.”
“I’ll wait.”
“I only get off at 5.”
“I’ll wait.”
“And then I need to head straight home.”
“I just need 10 minutes.”
You raised your eyebrows like you were trying to figure out what his intentions were. Meanwhile, he looked at you determined, like he’ll wait for a lifetime, if that’s what it took. Sighing you pulled out a piece of cake and set it before him. Then changing your mind, you quickly swapped it for a couple of lemon biscuits and slid it to him.
“They’re on the house.”
And with that you tightened your apron and walked away, leaving Jun staring at his favourite biscuits on the counter.
“Do you need any help?”
You looked up from the table you were cleaning at Jun who was still here, his coat discarded, cheeks flushed red and eyes tired.
“I have staff Mr. Jun.”
“She left.” He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Told me to inform you.”
“Huh.” You frowned. “She always stays till I close for the extra ten I hand her every day.”
Jun remained silent, looking away.
“You paid her.”
“I was just helping her go home fast.”
Sighing, you straightened yourself, crossing your arms. “Okay what is it, what do you want?”
“I told you, a conversation.”
“Well that’s what we’re having right?”
“Right…” Jun cleared his throat, unsure how to frame his sentences while you continued to look at him expectantly. When he didn’t say anything, you rolled your eyes and continued cleaning up.
“I was thinking…” You held out the tray, making him quickly free his hands to hold it as you began stacking plates and cutlery on it. “You’re a woman.”
“Are you doubting it?” Frowning, you walked over to the trash can, Jun right behind, struggling to balance everything.
“No! I mean I wasn’t thinking if you were a woman, more like I was thinking since you’re a woman and I’m a man….”
Jun trailed off completely lost about where he was going with this till you relieved him of the weight in his arms, placing the tray in the sink.
“Mr. Jun,” You untied your apron, tucking it on the rod of the drawer. “You only have 10 minutes.”
“Okay okay.” Jun recomposed himself, watching you pack up your things for the night. Looks like he just had to get straight to the point. “Yes I have 10 minutes right now, but my worry is, we only have 10 days.”
“What do you mean?”
“It's Valentine's in 10 days….” Jun muttered below his breath trying to gauge your reaction.
“Are you…” You narrowed your eyes at him unsure. “Is this your way of asking me out?”
“No god,” Jun groaned, running his hands through his hair. “I swear I planned it so much better in my head-”
“Don’t.”
And with that one word, you crushed everything. All the hope, the longing, the yearning.
“Look Mr. Jun, normally I wouldn't go into the details but I don't want you to think I'm blowing you off but about a month ago, I got a Memory Wipe. I lost the last ten years of my life and I’m still trying to come to terms with how much things have changed.... I’m just not ready for any kind of commitment.”
“But….” Jun blinked at you confused. “You smiled…”
“Sorry?”
“Yesterday and today…. I thought, you might also…”
“Mr. Jun.” You sighed, donning your jacket, zipping up. “You’re a good looking man, you’re sweet and I can tell you’d be a good conversation but I didn’t mean for it to be more than that. I just assumed it would be some harmless flirting.”
“I don’t want it to just be harmless flirting.” Jun shook his head. “I want something more. I like you and I want to-”
“Like me, why?” You looked at him confused, grabbing your bags. “We’ve barely spoken more than 5 sentences to each other.”
We’ve been in love for more than 10 years Y/n.
“I can’t explain it, it just…. feels right.”
“Well I can’t function based on your whims and feelings, can I?”
Jun stood frozen as you turned off the lights and opened the door, stepping out. Grabbing his jacket he followed you, watching you lost in thought as you locked the door before you turned to him.
“Look, you seem like a nice guy and I’m sure you’ll find someone. It just can’t be me, I’m not in the space for it.” Adjusting the bags in your hands, you shot him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry Mr. Jun.”
And with that you walked away, your figure moving further and getting smaller as cold winds returned to the city. For some stupid reason, Jun hadn’t anticipated this - he didn’t think about the possibility of you rejecting his advances. He just assumed the two of you would fall into the comfortable pattern of dating each other and everything would slowly return to normal. Your disappearing self was telling him otherwise….
No.
Jun couldn’t allow this to happen. He couldn’t lose this chance.
“Wait!” Pulling his jacket over his shivering body, he ran to you, half tripping on the way. “Wait, please.”
And you did, looking at his panting, coughing self standing in your way, trying to catch his breath. Searching your bags, you handed him a bottle of water but Jun ignored it, looking at you questioningly.
“If whatever happened to you a month ago, didn’t happen, would you agree to go out on a date with a guy like me?”
“I….” You looked around confused. “I don’t know.”
“Do you have any other reason not to give us… to give me a shot?” Crossing his fingers, Jun tucked his hands in his pocket. “Any other reason to say no?”
“Not really, no.”
Bingo.
“I’m sure the aftermath of the Memory Wipe hasn't been easy but life won’t stop just because you want things to pause.” Gulping he looked at you expectantly. “Look Y/n I too am in a space where things are difficult where I want to hit rewind, but I realised maybe it’s better to hit restart and I want to try that with you.”
“Jun I…”
“Here’s my suggestion, just hear me out.” He clasped his hands, ignoring the cold drafts. “Give me 10 days, just 10 days to change your mind about us. I know I can do it, I know I can make you see I’m worth it, that we’re worth it.”
“You’re really not going to take no for an answer are you?”
Jun shook his head, his face falling. “No I…. I don’t want to force you. I was just suggesting-”
“What if I’m not convinced in 10 days?” You sighed, looking at him unsure. “Will you leave the idea of ‘us’ behind and not pursue me anymore?"
“It won’t come to that-”
“If it does.”
“If it does,” Jun took a deep breath. “Then you’ll never see me again. I promise.”
And with that you went silent, like you were considering it. Jun prayed to all possible forces in the universe - please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.
“Okay.” You agreed, slowly nodding your head. “You have 10 days. If I’m not convinced, then on the 10th day, we’re done and we’re never seeing each other again, deal?”
Smiling on the inside, Jun ignored the little victory lap his head was doing. “Deal.”
“And you’re sure this will work?”
Phone against his ear, Jun nodded confidently.
“Positive.”
“What if you’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak again?”
“I’m not.” Jun rolled his eyes. “I know I can get her back. This time I’ll be better-”
“Haven’t you noticed?” Minghao voice was filled with caution. “She’s somehow not the same. The Y/n you knew was a hard core, cut throat lawyer. This Y/n is a barista who sells coffee and the idea of love.”
Jun hummed in thought. “Maybe. But deep down, she’s still my Y/n and I’m her Jun. I know her better than anyone else, I can do this-”
“And if you can’t?”
“Then I’ll live with it. But I can’t let her go without trying.”
“And what if it still doesn’t work?”
“I don’t want to consider that possibility.”
“Jun be realistic. How on Earth do you plan on convincing a woman who thinks you’re a complete stranger, is struggling with her amnesia, and more importantly doesn’t want any commitment, to date you?”
Jun sank into his couch, staring at the ceiling.
“I have no idea.” He confessed.
“Exactly, what if things get worse for you-”
“Can you just for once be a tad bit more positive?” Jun sighed. “Look at the bright side of things. Like for example, Y/n knew I didn’t like coffee-”
“-you make the most disgusting face known to mankind when you drink it, anyone would know-”
“-and she knew I like malatang-”
“-you’re Chinese Jun. I think that was a safe guess-”
“-and she knew lemon biscuits were my favourite dessert.”
This time Minghao went silent.
“Nothing snarky to say?”
When Minghao continued to keep quiet, Jun frowned, sitting up.
“Hao do you think she… remembered?”
“That’s not possible....”
"You don't sound as sure as last time." Jun noted.
Minghao let out a deep breath, like he was frustrated. “Theoretically, a memory restoration is not possible but hearing you I.... I can't tell for sure - we're also still not done with the clinical trials so I cannot exactly negate the possibility."
"So,,," Jun's eyes widened. "You're saying there is a chance she might remember everything?"
"A really really small chance.....” Minghao emphasised. "Or it could just be that since Y/n has known you for ten odd years, some her actions are just reflexive - ingrained in her subconscious after years of habit."
"But you're saying there's a small chance she might remember me again?"
Minghao sighed. Clearly, his friend wanted to just hear one thing.
"Yes. Perhaps if she's repeatedly exposed to you or to something of her past, she might remember certain things again-"
"Enough to make her want to come back to me?"
"I cannot promise that-"
"But I can try." Jun whispered, the cogwheels in his mind turning. "I have to try and Hao, I think I know exactly how."
"How-"
Cutting the call Jun tossed his phone aside and quickly grabbed the box he had stashed below the tea table, opening it. He ran his fingers again through all the memories you had saved, a small smile forming on his face.
Jun had 10 days to win you back - that meant he had 10 chances to remind you of all the good days the two of you shared. 10 memories he could recreate, ones that you yourself had stored in this very box. 10 ways he could prove 'us'..... was truly worth it.
And just like that, Wen Junhui knew exactly how to make you fall in love with him all over again.
You stared at the photo hanging on your wall, arms crossed, eyes slightly damp.
You look so happy,....he looks so happy.
Just like he did when you agreed to give him 10 days to woo you.
Sighing you tore your eyes away and stared at the ground, blinking the tears away.
“Just 10 days," You whispered, voice shaking. "….. and all of this will be over.”
A/n - This fic is tbh very long and overwhelming so I thought its best to have it out in parts? I hope you enjoyed this part and stay tuned for the next too! Thoughts in comments and reblogs are very much appreciated my loves <3
#lonelyheartscafecollab#svthub#thediamondlifenetwork#kvanity#wen junhui#seventeen wen junhui#jun smut#jun angst#jun fluff#jun x reader#svt angst#seventeen angst#svt smut#seventeen smut#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#seventeen#svt#wen junhui smut#wen junhui angst#wen junhui fluff#jun fic#seventeen fic#reverse trope prompt#reverse trope series#amnesia#fake amnesia
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What Arcane characters would gift you for Christmas!
Jinx, Vi, Ekko, Viktor, Jayce
(Semi crack Drabble… sorry for going super long with Viktor’s and Jayce’s HCs. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH)
(Jayce is Hispanic in my hc :3)
ENJOY AND HAVE FUN LOVE YALL<3
Not proofread
JINX
Hear me out… the first thing she would plan to gift you are decorated safety googles.
As a matter of fact everything she gifts you is handmade!
She knows you love to spend time with her when she’s in her workshop and the extra spare of googles she had were pretty crappy…
“Ugh, these old things? Pfft, they look like they’ve been through a freakin’ explosion… oh wait, they probably have! We gotta get you a new pair soon toots!”
They’d be totally decked out! Lots of character as she calls it.
“Okay toots check it out! Maximum protection but most importantly! They got style!”
The googles themselves would be in her classic style, very colorful paint, cute little heart scribbles all around! And of course lots of glitter….
“"I mean, you've got to stay safe while causing mayhem, right? And hey, if we're blowing stuff up together, you'll definitely need these. Plus, I made them perfectly for you. No one else will have goggles like these... trust me!"
I totally see her adding little handmade jewelry from her gears and spare parts, would totally make you a belt or choker out of spare bullets.
Vi
She would totally panic on what to get you for Christmas. Like what if you suddenly hate the thing you’ve loved since the very beginning she’s known you???
Would end up both buying and making you something!
She’s make you something small but meaningful
“Okay Okay fine! You can open mine now. Just don’t laugh too hard Cupcake…”
You’d open the poorly wrapped gift to uncover a bright pink scarf she knitted you! The stitching is a mess.. there a hole’s through the project (no doubt a missed stitch) but in all honesty it so cute you feel like your heart might explode.
"Yeah, I know I'm not, uh, the best at this kind of thing," she mutters, scratching the back of her neck, "but I figured you could use something to keep warm... and, you know, 'cause it's winter. And... you're important to me."
Guys please tell her she did an amazing job PLEASE.
She would also totally buy you a pair of combat boots! Totally saved up for months in advance.
She loves the idea of being able to match and have a bit of her style on you!
Ekko
Just like Jinx (sobs) he’d also make something for you!
The first thing he’d give you would be a little sketch book full of drawings of you from random moments throughout your relationship he remembers oh so clearly.
"I've been working on it for a while... It's... it's just a bunch of drawings. I mean, not just anything. Stuff that made me think of you. Stuff we've done, or things I hope we do. I don't know, it just felt like the best way to show how I feel about... well, us."
Okay he would also totally make you matching jewelry (matching clock hand necklaces?)
You’d force him to take the hour hand since it’s shorter (heheheh little man)
Once you explain your reasoning as to why he should take the smaller one he sighs disappointedly…
"Okay, okay, I get it," he finally says, a little less playful now, his voice softening. "I guess if you want me to wear it, I can..."
Then, a grin creeps back onto his face as he adds, "But don't think I'm letting you off the hook with the minute hand. You're wearing that one for sure." He places the hour hand necklace around his neck, the smaller pendant resting there, and looks up at you with that mischievous gleam in his eye.
He pauses, holding up his necklace, "I'm still the one with the bigger job. You'll just have to keep up." A proud smug smirk now rests on his face.
Viktor
FUCK WHERE DO I BEGIN I LOVE THIS MAN
o k a y. He would just like Vi panic… not because he doesn’t know what to get you but because he totally is going Christmas shopping late… very very late.
As much as I would love to say he’d make some little invention to make your day easier and give it to you for Christmas I don’t see it happening.
Not because he wouldn’t do it but because he already does it all the time! A little example, you’re late for work often? A little robot that hits you with a plastic squishy hammer every morning at 7 am waking you up when he can’t!
He’d definitely want to make Christmas special, I see him buying you something and then doing something special for you too!
Christmas morning would be greeted with warm hugs and kisses along with an even warmer bowl of potato soup!
He wanted to make sure he perfected his mother’s Bramboračka recipe. It was a once a year meal him and his mother shared every Christmas day.
He’s not a good cook by any means… but this is the one dish he can make and oh boy can he make it.
"Don't expect perfection," he says with a small, self-conscious smile, as you catch him sneaking a taste of the soup. Viktor looks up, his gaze softening. "I hope you like it," he says, and despite his usual perfectionism, there's a quiet pride in his voice. You take a sip, and the rich flavors of mushrooms, potatoes, and herbs immediately comfort you, just like his mother's love must've comforted him all those years ago.
OKAY for the making gift he planned I see him commissioning something due to the fact a lot of his inventions lack aesthetics.
Specifically I see him commissioning a music box that functions as a a jewelry box as well! He would have loved to make it himself but he was worried he wouldn’t have gotten the look right.
"Do you like it?" he asks, his voice softer than usual, as if he's worried about the reception. "I had it made... I thought... it might remind you of us."
The detail was breathtaking-floral patterns etched into the surface, with tiny gears and delicate metalwork accenting the edges. The craftsmanship was stunning, and you couldn't help but run your fingers over the smooth finish.
you lifted the lid, and a gentle, lilting melody began to play. It was slow and sweet, a tune that felt timeless, and as you stared at the tiny figurines inside, your breath caught.
His fingers fidgeted with the edge of his cane, his gaze flicking between you and the music box. "I commissioned it," he admitted, his voice quieter now. "I had the craftsman use a sketch I made. It's how I see us... in my mind. How I feel when I hold you." He paused, his expression softening. "I thought... I thought you deserved something that would remind you of that. Of... how much you mean to me."
Jayce
Oh hon… Jayce would spoil you rotten.
I’m talking presents are overflowing underneath the tree.
You thought you lost your favorite piece of clothing? WRONG! He commissioned for more to be made in different colors and textures for you.
All the fragrances in the world he knew you would enjoy.
Cozy adorable pajamas we would give you Christmas morning so you could cuddle up drinking hot chocolate.
Spends Christmas Eve spoiling you and cuddling and being so tooth rottenly sweet.
It’s Christmas Eve, the scene was almost overwhelming. The living room looked like a perfectly curated holiday catalog-twinkling lights, a roaring fireplace, and, of course, an absurd number of gifts. Jayce sat cross-legged beside the tree, an excited grin lighting up his face as he handed you the first box. He had merely grinned, sheepish yet unrepentant. "What can I say? I got carried away?.”
"Open this one first," he urged, nearly vibrating with excitement. Inside was a bottle of an exquisite fragrance, the glass etched with delicate, swirling designs. It smelled divine-rich, warm, and entirely you.
"I figured you'd like that," he said eyes carefully watching everyone expression you make. You swear if he had a tail it would be swishing uncontrollably right now.
Christmas Day would be you spending Christmas day at his mother’s house!
(Listen I’m hc them as hispanic because for one HIS MOMS NAME HIS XIMENA… and two because why not :3 )
You have a great relationship with his Mother, she absolutely adores you and sees you as her daughter.
There’s lots of yummy food she’s prepared… perhaps too much for just 3 people?
Nonetheless, a pot of pozole, tamales de puerco and de dulce! And of course she made jayce’s favorite choco flan!
God she urges to to eat until you nearly pop! You have to undo your belt by the end of the night…
"Come, sit!" his mom insisted, pulling out a chair for you. "Jayce told me you've never had my tamales. That's a crime! Here, start with this." She placed one on your plate, her eyes twinkling.
Jayce sat beside you, his grin widening as you took your first bite. "Good, right?" he asked, nudging you playfully.
You could only nod, savoring the perfectly seasoned masa and tender filling.
Later in the evening, when everyone was too full to move, Jayce leaned over and slipped his hand into yours. His eyes were soft, his voice low as he said, "I'm glad you're here. This—" he gestured to the lively scene around you, "—feels perfect with you."
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