#so i hope some people find my contribution enjoyable

[worldly-fluster]

👀

Hi, I write fanfiction about Love and Deepspace. Currently Sylus-dominant (heh), although I love and appreciate most of the LIs. Full summaries and tags are in each link.

The Sylus series

Part 1 Alike and cornered beast, Sylus's POV | ao3

I was desperate for Sylus's point of view during the first time that MC meets him in the Alike and Cornered Beast chapters of Long-Awaited Revelry. I wanted to know why he touches MC so reverently but also quite brutally, so I spent a lot of time thinking about possibilities and this is the result.

Part 2 Roleplay, undercurrents, and rising curtain, Sylus's POV | ao3

MC has PTSD from chapter 4 (you know the one), and no one can convince me otherwise, so I re-wrote the auction bits from Sylus's POV to fix this grievous oversight, because I am also firmly convinced he is a champ at handling MC's trauma.

Part 3 No way out, revised | ao3

I thought that MC was too mean to Sylus in his 4 star No Way Out card, and I didn't like it, so I fixed it. I mean, I rewrote how it went like a proper rabid fan.

Part 4 Datura tea, or how all you want is to get some sleep | ao3

You're suffering from insomnia due to untreated PTSD (probably, I don't know, I'm not a doctor or a therapist) from your family getting, well, exploded, and the longer this goes on, the sloppier you become in combat and just existing, and a bad idea is born.

Part 5 Sylus gets a headache | ao3

Sylus has secured the promise from you that he can use your place as a safe house if he's in the area and needs it. Sylus's definition of "need", it turns out, might be different than your own, as illustrated by the first time he shows up unannounced at your door.

Part 6 Wine time with Sylus | ao3

Sylus invites himself over, helps himself to your first aid kit and your kitchen, manipulates you into tasting wine with him, discusses his latest business venture, and gifts you more than one present before he's good and ready to finally leave.

Part 7 Sylus's guide to hiring, or Wine time with Sylus: his POV | ao3

Sylus mulls over all the data he has managed to collect regarding his sweet little hunter so far, and spends some time considering mistakes he's made and his plans for the future. He also hires a new employee and is required to teach the twins to mind their manners in front of guests he's trying to intimidate.

Part 8 Not my type | ao3

Sylus pesters you on your day off while you're at the arcade until you agree to "lend your talents" to him for the evening. So of course you show up at the designated location only to discover it's a nightclub, and you're dressed for a murder, but not on the dance floor.

Part 9 Sylus makes a deal | ao3

Sylus answers some questions, receives dating advice from a dubious source, makes a deal you can't refuse, receives a birthday invitation, and plans to take you home for the night.

Part 10 Even the rocks on the roadside in the N109 Zone could tell | ao3

Sylus makes one final miscalculation. You wake up from a nightmare in a place you weren't ready to revisit. Sylus has to reckon with the inevitable consequences of how he treated you when you first met him, but you're paying the higher price.

Part 11 Even the rocks on the roadside - Sylus's POV | ao3

Sylus tries to get some paperwork done in his office while you sleep. He receives a call that turns his night upside down and makes him regret some strategic choices he's made up until this point in conquering your heart.

Part 12 Q&A with Sylus Qin | ao3

Sylus cares for your injuries and feeds you a meal. After he shows you a part of his home that you didn't know existed, you finally ask him why he was so cruel to you when you first met him. Sylus does his best to answer with as much honesty as he can right now.

Part 13 How you learned to stop worrying and embrace Sylus Qin | ao3

Sylus reveals his latest little plot and makes you an offer that you ultimately can't refuse. More lying around talking in different beds with Sylus Qin.

Part 14 The dream, the tie, the tour, the dream | ao3

You have a good dream, get a guided tour of Onychinus's base by the chaos twins, talk yourself into being sad again, and then have another good dream

Part 15 The right hand, the left hand, the heart of Sylus Qin | ao3

Sylus meets with his legal counsel while the twins give you a tour of the base, you wake up from a dream, Sylus wastes some eggs, you attempt to get to know Sylus better, and you have your first 'date' with Sylus Qin.

Part 16 The pool | ao3

You dream, you do some art, you go for a swim, Sylus destroys part of his office, you discover the hot tub, you're close to catching a clue. A 'morning' in the life at Onychinus HQ.

Part 17 And everything that is now already existed then | ao3

Sylus shows you his favorite parts of his house, you are haunted by a strange feeling of familiarity, you spend some time with the twins and Noah, you learn about the bet they had going.

Part 18 Before you came, things were as they should be | ao3

You spend a lot of time wrestling with questions of morality, there's more poetry because the author has no self control, you may or may not burn out Mephisto's eye optics with your antics trying to provoke Sylus, Noah and the twins drag you to the club.

Part 19 Sylus is suffering | ao3

Sylus's POV regarding your antics to provoke a reaction out of him in 'Before you came, things were as they should be'.

Part 20 Hunger, sated | ao3

You resonate with Sylus and have sex with him for the first time.

Sylus standalones

Control: a Sylus series interlude | ao3

You are feeling a bit depressed after completing a mission that didn't go 100% the way you wanted. Mephisto, and then Sylus, pay you a visit to cheer you up.

Creature Feature with Sylus Qin | ao3

You and Sylus dress up for a Halloween gala. This is a short little Sylus series interlude, occurring after these idiots finally get together.

Goodcat code, or how you learned to care for your catboy | ao3

Your crimelord boyfriend disappears for a week, you make yourself sad listening to breakup songs, you learn that he got turned into a catboy, you get assigned a mission on the worst cruise ship ever, undercover shenanigans ensue.

Would you love me if I were a worm drabble

The Holiday Party | ao3

You are dragged to yet another one of your crappy boyfriend's miserable work functions only for him to abandon you to his awful colleagues, but you run into a man who helps you admit that you deserve better. You think you're having a one-night stand with a handsome stranger, but there's nothing casual about his intentions toward you.

The Jog | ao3

You go for a jog, encounter some wanderers, get injured, Sylus helps make you better. You know, a typical Christmas story.

Hook, Line, Sinker | ao3

Sylus invites you to a remote cabin in the woods for some fishing before New Year's. When the trip is over, you have a new boyfriend and a new addition to the Crow family. No, it's not a human baby.

Xavier

Sleepy time with Xavier | ao3

You suffer from chronic fatigue and worry that Xavier is only placating you when he says it's fine on the occasions you're too exhausted to follow through on plans together. On one such bad day, he reassures you in a way that you can no longer doubt.

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

In the face of recent news about our beloved Destiny, I think it’s more important than ever for us as a community to come together and support each other in numerous ways.

It’s been a very hard week for all of us, especially those who lost their jobs and outlet for their passion in mass lay offs. Losing a position that allowed you to craft magnificent stories alongside some of the most ambitious people in the gaming industry, especially in worrying economic circumstances, must be excruciating to deal with and I wish the best for all those laid off from Bungie.

For us fans, it hurts more than anything to see the game you care so much for get put in headlines for how little that care is shared amongst the people responsible for making decisions on it. I’ve been into Destiny since it first dropped, making it the love of my life for nearly two-thirds of my whole existence , and to hear about how it’s just another product to be sold when it’s everything and more to me is just despairing. I wanted to become a writer and concept artist to create a game for others that made them feel as cared for as I did when I played Destiny and now I’m sitting here seeing all the people who helped foster that feeling be treated as another expenditure.

It’s awful, a lot of us are feeling really uninspired and betrayed at the moment, not sure we even want to see what will happen to this masterpiece of a game in the hands of the current executives. We are also dearly missing the developers, artists, writers, and more who made Destiny more than a fps looter shooter.

But it is times like these where we are torn and confused that we must uplift one another and not let the bitter taste of Bungie’s actions make us speak with hostility. This is not about decisions on whether to support Bungie or the actual game, but about refocusing on what truly makes Destiny enjoyable to so many.

Its world is immersive with care put into every story and that clearly shows in just how eager fans are to create masterpieces for it. It was never playing the game or the notoriety that kept me coming back for more, but the joy of creation I could share with others.

It stings to see a disinterest in nursing the potential of the Destiny universe from the executives with motivations other than monetary gain, but when the executives won’t care, we can. There are still employees at Bungie who adore their work and we can continue to support them by speaking up against horrible industry practices and show that we won’t abandon their efforts to make Destiny what it is.

Make ocs, write fanfictions, follow the former employees wherever they go, draw til your heart is overflowing, join Discords, roleplay, share headcanons, create aus with friends, do whatever keeps Destiny alive and flourishing for you!

Destiny will never die to me, even when it’s long forgotten and the servers shut down, because Destiny made me who I am and I intend to repay that gift an infinite amount of times over. The characters and universe will be alive and well to me until I die, regardless of the fate of the game and Bungie.

So go out and prove that Destiny’s themes of the power of community and hope are more than just morals behind a screen, that they are life changing messages that we will carry on despite hopeless news!!

Reblog charming artists, message people about ships you enjoy, leave questions and tags that contribute to conservations, write essays about what Destiny means to you!!

My messages and inbox for questions are always open if anyone would like to talk (I’m trying to get better at answering them, even if they are months late)! You are all welcome here and I want to start reblogging and liking more freely even if those things scare me sometimes!

We can decide our fates and we can decide the fate of Destiny’s presence in our lives as well! We can choose to care when others won’t and refuse to make our enjoyment debatable!! In troubling times, we should be able to reach out into the dark and find hands to hold onto tight!!

[kaiannae]

It is time- (Or: It Has Begin XD)

Greetings, my dear readers, it has been quite some time. First and foremost I would like to assure you that yes, I'm alive, and no, I have not abandoned my writing. But, I HAVE been distracted by somehing in the last few months, and I think its time to reveal it. I made a game! And not just a game, a Shadowgast game. I would like to present to you:

Beacon Run.

Ko-Fi This game begun its existance as a homework project for a game dev course I took about a year ago. I was supposed to implement a simple chase and pickup game and I thought, "Why use some random sprites when all I can imagine is small chibi Caleb chasing small chibi Essek around while Essek is trying to nom beacons?"

This idea lit a fire in my brain, and I just had to implement it but I had a very short time for the assignment. Iended up implementing something very simple, but I just couldn't let it go afterwards and vowed I was going to finish that small game and get it out for the fandom to play.

It has since been rewriteen, refactored and recoded several times, until I had something workable to show others. This is the place to mention the major contribution the people fo AIFL had on this little game. As I was maing this game, I shared its early stages with the server, and people have been kind in thier enthusasm, gave me ideas and provided invaluable criticism and feedback. They kept me motivated and kept me going through the lows of frustration one gets when coding. I got @bumble-b-goode 's permission to use their designs for the Weezards and drew my own sprites using that as inspiration. I ended up creating most of the assets for this game. Drawing the art assets took quite some time and I've learned a lot in the process.

Beacon Run not big or complicated as a game. In essence, is a tribute and a love letter to the Critical Role community and the CR crew. To the people who brought to life the Mighty Nein and have shared, and continue to share their stories with us on a weekly basis throughout the years. For Liam and Matt, who have weaved the tale of two broken wizards mending each other into better people, and keep their children of ink and paper alive for us to enjoy. The game: You as a player, are randomly assigned a little wizard to play for each match, so you can play as Essek or Caleb. The board dimensions and obstacles and even the flooring art are randomized for each match so each match is different. Your goal: to collect as many Beacons as you can during the allotted time, and end up with more Beacons than your rival which is the other wizard played by the computer. You gain projectiles over time, which are fake Beacons you can throw at the other wizard. If hit, the rival wizard is stunned for a short time, and drops several of his picked up Beacons for you to gather. However, beware! The rival wizard can also shoot you and stun you for a short while, and make you drop beacons as well. (You might notice that Essek gets stunned by sour lemon Beacons, while Caleb gets stunned by hand-knitted wool Beacons XD) In addition, when the rival is hit, he may drop a Magic Abeyance Bead which contains a Chronurgy spell. if you pick it up, it will provide a short time bonus for the match. In short, the game is a small, cozy game, made out of love for the wizards and the fandom, and I hope you'll enjoy it! I it still in the late stages of testing and development, as the feedback players provide is invaluable and lets me find bugs, add ideas and content suggested and tweak the mechanics to make it more enjoyable. So I would very much appreciate feedback, suggestions, con-crit etc. I would be happy to head what you like about it, what you think needs tweaking, ideas of content to add.... you name it! (Note that currently, the game does not work on mobile. I am planing to revamp the input system and add touch suport for mobile in the near future) Also it is worth mentioning that as I fix bugs, add content and tweak things, I upload new versions of the game so its worth following the Devlog and updates. The game is avaliable for play in the embedded player on the page, and also available for download to play offline (Though you might need to redownload it with every new version as I don't have an auto updater for it.)

In addition, if you like my work, feel like enabling me to make more of these or just want to buy me a coffee, It is always very much appreciated as it sure helps me stay afloat! Tip Jar

So, I hope you forgive me for my lack of writing for the last few months. I really wanted to get this out. I am trying to keep writing in my spare time, but the muses haven't been with me lately. I hope that now that this is out I can finally get my mind off it XD Stay tuned!

[pluviophile6104]

Idk if anyone will care at all but now thk being aired I thought I should share this. I love watching reaction videos, it feels like I have someone to watch with, especially to my favorite shows and finding that channel is quite hard for me. I want them to do justice to the show and contribute something to me while it's being entertaining. And actually like what they're watching. So I Just wanted to share my two favorite channels if you also like to check them out because they deserve it. I discovered them with their the eclipse reaction. And then they did only friends as well. Now with the heart killers, these are the only ones I like to watch and wait for their reaction. No shade to the others but they exactly understand things? (Some of them istg I don't even want to mention because...) That's why I wanted to share it~ highly recommend them:

He is actually my favorite because of how he understands the characters and appreciates everything such as filming, cinematography, acting, music, styling and actually have an experience and knowledge on the field. Plus, he loves firstkhaotung and loves their acting :) His reaction to the only friends is just a must watch. Considering how controversial the series was he actually gets it and sandray was his favorite couple and Sand was his favorite character. (he is not awkward at all and doesn't cringe, pretty chill. It's important for me okay lol)

I just love her because of how emphatic she is. Her reaction to the eclipse... I've watched it multiple times. I know she loved it as much as me and always have something thoughtful to say. She is very mindful about mental illnesses so her only friends reactions... Oh you just have to watch it because most people's reactions to Ray made me mad as hell back then but she just gets it. She's vulnerable, attentive to details and at the end says her thoughts and actually talks about everything, what she's thinking, what did she like or not like, theories etc.

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I've seen so many reaction videos and I'll tell you some really pisses me off 😂 Anyway I'll just add one more because their reaction to the only friends was also very good and exciting:

[kbnet]

Gundam Quacks

Nah it's def. "G-Cucks," which is also probably what Char calls everybody born in Earth's gravity well.

I posted a bit about it on busskey, but I've neglected Tumblr. I preemptively stepped away for the past month, but it's about time I return.

It looks pretty crazy. I'm a certified Space Politics Enjoyer, but I like the idea of a Gundam that's more about kids messing around on an O'Neil Cylinder. That said, if any of the "datamining" is accurate, and with Anno involved, I wager there'll be a fair bit of space politics after all. I wasn't very impressed with the space politics in Suisei no Majo, but Anno is one of the few people currently working in anime who I'd trust implicitly with it.

I looked over the staff again just now, and it's got a few funny habaneros in the mix. Like,

"Okay cool some pretty amazing prop/mecha designers both from the old world and new wo- wait Mebae? The Asuka-loving eromanga illustrator and animator? Huh? Is he like…designing mob characters?"

Regarding the mecha, I know people are bitching about the wasp-waisted Eva Gundams, which is fair, but I like some of the other details.

Youtube compression DDDDD:

But note all the thrusters, and the pressure vessels for the funnel's propellant. Tomino!Gundam has an interesting relationship with hard SF details about how things work in Anno Centurii Universalis 0079, and it's something Anno in his contributions to Gundam has always appreciated. For instance, in Anno's pass on the spaceship designs, he interprets the wing like protrusions as radiators – the only designs I can think of in anime that have them! Of course, Anno isn't the director of this cartoon – Tsurumaki is – but this funnel speaks to the tone at the top. See also: the fact that the very first thing in the trailer – the thing which the editor of the trailer thought was the most important detail to set the tone for the world of G-Cucks – is the protagonist informing the audience that yes, someone on the staff did the math for how fast a 6.5km diameter O'Neil Cylinder would have to rotate to generate 9.8m/s/s of gravity.

Visually, I think seeing these bigass thrusters fire as these funnels whip around at Holy Shit Gs is quite striking. That's part of why hard SF details are cool: they can inform aesthetics.

I also like how the hero Gundam squares up on the catapult:

I've never really been partial to the idea of robot cat shots, but I think this design looks good squared up on the cat in a way that most Gundams don't. It's a good reminder that robot design in anime isn't just about how it looks in an orthographic view.

Should I go ahead and post the same three or four screencaps that everybody posts from the trailer? Yes!

They are, after all, the best shots in the trailer. I admit, I wasn't taken much by the trailer outside of these few shots when I first saw it, but after rewatching it a few times for this post, I find myself admiring some of the colors and compositions a bit more.

Haro's beanie trailing as it hops alongside Round Girl is good shit.

Just as I think you can feel the Anno in the mecha, the Tsurumaki feels pretty stronk here – but Ash is the Tsurumaki Cop in my extended circle.

Overall, it's not mind blowing exactly, but I'm hopeful. I had to apologize for Metallic Rouge when the trailers dropped and were so underwhelming, but I don't think we're about to get Metallic Ruse'd again. Here's hoping.

[serfergs]

Why I’m having the most fun with DFF (spoiler free)

I know a lot of people probably dropped DFF after episode 2 or 3 so I feel compelled to write about how much I’m enjoying it. I am not typically a horror/slasher girlie (much to my partner’s chagrin 😬), but I found the characters mysterious enough to hold out for the story and romantic elements, plus I can tell the actors are having a lot of fun with the slasher parts so it makes it more enjoyable for me personally. And I think the show is doing a great job rewarding the audience for our patience considering it was marketed as a BL.

The thing that keeps me coming back is the slow reveal of the backstory and the little tickling of my brain when I think about how the different characters are complicit in Non's suffering and why he or those that care about him would want revenge. I also think this show stands out because it has just enough of a BL subplot to pull me in and then keep me with all the poor decisions of these very flawed characters.

Everyone watching can probably attest to how much we as an audience are loving hating these characters. All of these boys are written with distinct personalities and motives in both being a part of this "friend" group and contributing to the fate of our main boy Non. Even Non is not without his flaws. I think Barcode is doing a great job embodying a queer high school boy living in poverty, struggling with his mental health, and choosing to tolerate intense bullying and manipulation in the slight hopes he'll eventually be accepted and welcomed in this shitty boy group. Meanwhile all the characters within the group are revealing so much about their priorities and how they push down a lot of their feelings and convictions for the sake of not stirring the pot (aka Por). I find Tee and Jin especially compelling considering Tee's parallels to Non with feeling trapped in poverty and debt and Jin's parallels to Non with being so desperate to be accepted and how that ties in to their queer identities.

There's also so much going on with classism, coercion, and police corruption which are elements and themes that recent BL have attempted to tackle and in a lot of ways I think DFF is doing a much better job in both narrative integration and execution. All this being said, I also think it's important to remember this is only Be On Cloud's second BL and I think they're hitting it out of the park in terms of pushing the genre forward and challenging some of the tired settings and tropes still being shoved down our throats with repetitive, formulaic, and often rushed and incoherent narratives (I'm looking at you GMMTV). So, if you gave up early on, I encourage you to give it another try. Even if you gotta 2x speed or completely skip some of the more gruesome scenes. If for no other reason than to acknowledge and give credit to BOC for progressing our beloved genre forward.

TLDR;

DFF is out here delivering a really complex, nuanced, and satisfying narrative with queer characters and if you gave up early I implore you to pick it back up even if you gotta skip some of the slasher scenes. I promise it's worth it!

[me-beef]

fell’s design is rlly cool! what kind of story do u see urself telling w her?

It’ll be a fantasy adventure and mystery series!

I tried to give as much context as I could for the story without this getting too terribly long (I failed) but I sprinkled in some sketches to make reading the post a little more enjoyable lol

it’s all based on a homebrew pathfinder game that me wife @astrmastr ran for our group of buddies. She’s been HUGE in helping me develop the story, so it’s her baby too.

It’s set in ZahKol- a world where the remains of large, powerful beings known as titans make up the landscape. The magic in the world comes from their once immeasurable forms deteriorating in the earth for eons.

The plants, animals, and people that live off the land above a titan are usually imbued with remnants of its magic over time (<- explanation for where all the magical races come from- think dwarves, orcs, bugbears, all the flavors of elves/tieflings, anything we want to make up, whatever)

Felise “Fell” Feiffer is a college student at the largest school and library in the known world- Aton’s Academy for the Advancement of Adventuring Arts (or, AAAAA. You don’t have to scream the abbreviation necessarily- not if you don’t want to. But Arbiter Archibald highly encourages it. He does it, anyways. Every single time. To everyone’s reluctant, but accepting anticipation).

The Academy includes The Mages College- an institution dedicated to the study, research, and practice of the arcane arts.

At the time the main story takes place, Fell has become a certified mage (think, high school graduate- “congratulations, we think you’re competent enough to take care of yourself out there” certification), and is working on achieving her first higher rank at the college.

Typically, you achieve ranks in the college through noteworthy accomplishments- like making a significant contribution of research to the school, leading a beneficial community service project, etc.

Fell has spent all her time researching primal magic- a theoretical source of magic derived from pure titan essence.

More than anything, she wants to prove that a theory her father had ten years ago was correct- that The Winged Isles, an ancient civilization of bird-people known as the featherfolk, really still could exist out there.

and just maybe… using this, she could solve her father’s mysterious disappearance from ten years ago…

Does she dare hope that if she can find the isles...

...she can find her father?

congratulations!! you got to the end of my wordy story summary!! your reward is: yuri!

(Avis is the Windheart- Fell grew up listening to her father talk about his theories on featherfolk society, so Avis is kinda the equivalent of Fell meeting the princess from her childhood fairytales)

I was all over the place with this, so thanks for bearing with me! If anything was too vague, or any specific details intrigue you, I can… yknow 😏 go further in depth 😏 if u leave me a reply or send me an ask 😏😏

[mindfangfun]

Okay, I know this is like kind of an awkward ask but do have any advice when interacting with the homestuck community?

I've been reading this comic on and off for months now and I haven't really interacted much with people that much.

Or if you can't help with that just tell me some neet facts. I'm about 7500 pages in right now.

:>

HELLOOO !!! i love questions like this it isn't awkward at all, my main advice ( but not only advice ) is just to try to be open minded when it comes to the homestuck fandom!

the fandom is really fun and enjoyable as long as you keep a open mind to other fans opinions / theories and ships its really fun to see everyone's favorite characters, acts and whatnot! there's such a cool variety of fans from all over the world and imo what makes this fandom so great is other opinions that fans have that may be different than yours!

another great way to start interacting with the homestuck fandom is just engage in conversations about it online! like asking / telling favorites characters always works well . If your more artistic  another GREAT way to interact and contribute is making fanart , edits , cosplays and what not!

social media platforms I recommend for meeting other homestuck fans that are pretty nice and interactive is twitter or of course tiktok ( although i find twitter to be the easiest one for me )

a good way to get reach on twitter to find like minded fans is adding hashtag #homestuck to your posts or simply just following some homestuck fans until some follow you back!

that's all i hope that was somewhat helpful , i know these seem pretty simple but that's really all it takes :).

A little Homestuck fun fact for you is that most of the homestuck characters ( specifically the trolls ) were named by fans as the comic was organically coming out ! 

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reblogs & questions appreciated !

[crguang]

glad 2 see you are also not a topaz enjoyer, idk why she's so popular but i firmly cannot like her ass

i personally don’t find topaz interesting, i don’t think her character has any depth to it worth mentioning. she’s in the same tier as skott to me just bc she has no life or personality outside of the IPC and the only words that come out of her mouth are “market” “profit” “job” “numby” and “IPC” like oh my god we get it. i know they “saved” her planet from ruin and she’s grateful for that, that she was likely groomed into her role as well but that doesn’t stop her from perpetuating their toxic mindset and personally im just sick of it. any character that is IPC affiliated is getting a side eye for me except for aventurine because he actually wants to leave that evil corporation so he’s ok. at least jade has intrigue around her character outside of her job, and a hobby. something that topaz desperately needs.

i don’t find the IPC as a corporation interesting at all. they’re just evil capitalists and i think they should be eradicated, i dont see anything remotely interesting about that tbh like there are enough to go around irl. i also believe that you have to be a little evil to have such a high position in that corporation so i don’t believe the people who tell me that topaz is a good person just because she helped belobog once, cause right after that she called them servants for accepting the help of the astral express twice (while she wanted them to accept the help of the ipc??😭) then admitted that the ipc only cared about profits so… shes not dumb, she knows the basis of capitalism is exploitation and shes good with that. again, morality is not something that will determine whether i hate a character or not but topaz is not a fleshed out character at all, there’s nothing to her but her sob story about her home planet. if i want an evil, intelligent woman im not going for topaz, jade is right there. if i want someone who’s always ten steps ahead kafka is right there. if i want an analytical mind, there’s ruan mei and herta. like what exactly is topaz supposed to do for me when these characters all have unique personalities and lore. granted, we dont know much about jade (yet) but her abilities and collected personality already makes her more interesting to me

i felt insane playing the wardance and having that pile of junk with a camera for a head reprimand luka for his distrust and “prejudice” against the IPC — they treated his life and all of belobog like stock market numbers?!?! then he always had to concede to the others’ points like i was going crazy. then the scrap metal goes around calling MY BEST FRIEND boothill a dangerous savage oh i was mad, the IPC glazing and propaganda in that event pissed me off. luka getting an ipc sponsored mechanical arm just like igor did when the whole point was that igor had to sell his body parts to please rich egocentric snobs just for the hope that they would care about something other than themselves. he made himself a merchandise to save his planet and failed. i hate that the luka situation was portrayed as beneficial for both parties so there was no harm done and topaz was just helping him. that’s the thing that makes me feel crazy about hsr, they will show us every instance of the IPC being evil, greedy and cold then will turn around and try to make them likeable because some playable characters are IPC. i feel insane.

i also don’t like her design, imo it’s very basic for a 5* character. i remember playing the belobog quest and being surprised that she was a five star character because i found her so boring 😭 they didn’t even try like, man whatever. she’s not cute to me. she’s the only character in the game that i can rant about hating like that’s crazy. i hate ratio but i wouldn’t type an essay on him, ive had to argue about topaz too many times to be chill about her. and jadepaz also contributes to me hating her. what those ship brained gays did to jade after her release is criminal nobody cared about her on her own i felt crazy. i went through that with black swan already, no more. i need topaz deleted off the game

sorry sev

[princeasimdiya12]

Bucchigiri Finale Thoughts

So I watched Episode 12 earlier today and had some time to think things over. And unfortunately, I realized that I didn't like this episode very much. Granted there are a good amount of moments that I did enjoy and contributed well to the main themes of the series. But there were too many moments that I felt undercut my enjoyment of the show. So fair warning, a lot of what I have to say is fairly critical and kinda negative. If you agree or disagree with anything I've said here, feel free to reblog this with your own comments. And if you're not into negativity, feel free to ignore this.

But I will start by mentioning the things I did like.

Just like everyone and their gyoza-making mothers, I loved the final fight scenes. The choreography was well executed and I thought the animation was top notch, both when it came to Senya vs Ichiya and Arajin vs Matakara. I really liked how in depth they went with the fighting sequences and the dark colors fit really well with the tone of the drama of the scene. The emotional range between the fighters felt incredible; the actors truly gave it their all when going about their fights.

And the part with Arajin mustering the power to save Matakara was beautifully done. I was in awe when Arajin brought up how Matakara became the very monster he tried desperately to destroy which really got a crack on his defenses. The sequence of Arajin reaching out to Matakara's inner child to help him out of his despair was gorgeous. Especially since Ara-chan used the Friendship Stone both to help the inner child and later when telling his old friend that he's not alone anymore. That was really great and genuine character growth, especially since Arajin accepted that he was in the wrong for leaving him all the time.

And as I mentioned in an earlier post, I did love the first scene with Arajin meeting Matakara for the first time. But as a twist, it was Arajin who was inspired by Matakara's dedication to being a Honki Person and volunteered himself to train alongside his new friend. That was a great twist and it adds new depths to how Arajin was actually inspiried by his old friend and not the other way around like we believed for so long.

So those were the parts that I genuinely enjoyed. Now for the parts I didn't really like..

On one hand, while it is nice that Zabu wasn't brutally beaten to subconsciousness, I do kiinda wish that he did have to be hospitalized. It just feels so off-putting how he's relatively okay despite being brutally mauled by Matakara only a few hours ago. Especially since Marito and Kenichirou wound up in the hospital after losing to Matakara. Plus I feel like it undercuts the drama and severity of the situation by having Zabu be fine enough to look for Matakara. It doesn't help that he and Komao don't really do much apart from running around trying to find their friend.

Also, I hope I'm not the only one but did anyone else feel uncomfortable with this scene?

I understand that Mahoro did it in a desperate bid to bring her brother back but the way she described Kenichirou here was just... gross.

Not insane, not weird, not quirky, not even ridiculous.

It was just gross for me to see her dehumanize one of the few dark skinned characters on the show. Even if he's not black/black coded, it still rubs me the wrong way that she would say those things so casually. Especially since Japan can be really casual when it comes to making racist/offensive remarks to brown skinned people in it's media. Plus there are tons of other ways she could have referred to him without calling him a gorilla. Like meathead, blockhead, oaf, ogre. Any other insult could have worked and been more acceptable than the ape insult. And it's unfortunately consistent since she did call him a gorilla during the Gang War Arc.

And then there's this part...

I don't know if it was Mahoro's doing or if that's what the original nurses did, but it was just uncalled for. Both for the unspoken racism and for how it doesn't even apply to Kenichirou's character. Out of the three banchos, he's always been the least violent and was always shown to be tranquil and easy to work with, unlike Marito and Akutaro who were more unhinged, wild and violent in comparison. There shouldn't be any reason for him to behave so violently that the staff would resort to shackling him like an animal. Especially given how defeated he looked when Matakara beat him in a fight.

Another reason why I dislike this scene is because the characters involved (Mahoro, Marito, Kenichirou) do nothing to contribute to the final duel between Arajin and Matakara. None of these characters actually show up until the end when Matakara apologizes to everyone. You could have made it so that during the apology scenes, the two gang leaders could have shown up while covered in bandages or crutches. There really isn't a need to show us Marito waking up since we could get that later on in the end with Matakara apologizing to Siguma Squad.

The same can be argued for Zabu, Komao, Outa, Jabashiri and Hagure. Even though they spend most of their time hunting down Matakara and Arajin, they don't exactly contribute to the final duel or offer any words to the main heroes. They just show up and the duo resolve their problem like nothing.

Regarding Ichiya's secret of him dying, while it's not the worst reason for him to be so insistent on fighting Senya, I do wish there was more build up or at least some hints to it. It just feels like a random reason for why Ichiya developed his grudge against Senya. It's not the worst reason and it does make sense for why he wanted to die like a Honki Person instead of to a random illness, it just leaves a bad taste to how it happened to him out of randomness.

And wow, Arajin is never going to overcome the internet hating him for being a perverted simp mc.

In a way, it makes some sense since Arajin's character arc was never about respecting women or learning that there's other ways to be a man apart from stealing a girl's virginity. That was never the focus as the story wanted him to confront his mistake of abandoning his old friend and not running away from his problems. That said, this still won't look good for him since fans are going to be turned off of Bucchigiri because of his perversions and how the show doesn't encourage him to change.

And as I've come to realize, the show itself doesn't seem to mind with the characters not growing out of their negative vices. A critique I have is that the show doesn't go out of it's way to challenge the beliefs of these characters or push them to grow into better people. Arajin is perfectly okay with being rude to everyone while pursuing a girl just so he can lose his virginity to her, Mahoro continues to lust over her older brother and has no interest in anything else, Marito is still a bloodthirsty bad boy who lives and breathes fighting, Kenichirou doesn't mind repeating high school as long as he gets to run Minato Kai, even Yayako prefers to act like a bubbly airhead rather then act like a responsible and respectful adult. And even with Matakara's corruption arc, he doesn't really recognize how harmful his idolization of Arajin was since the focus was more on his loneliness and trauma of being alone. Maybe because I'm spoiled by Mob Psycho 100, but it saddens me to see how these characters don't grow into better people or make an effort to change themselves. Especially since there can be potential for all of them.

And while I'm glad that Arajin and Matakara were able to become friends again, it feels like a letdown that there's no build up to it. It just rushes straight to them becoming friends again without acknowledging their negative attributes. Th same with puppy boy getting everyone to just accept him with no repercussions or consequences. It feels like letdown as there were no serious consequences for his actions. Like he could just go on a despair-induced rampage again and they'll just keep accepting him. On paper it's rather wholesome, but it does feel contrived if everything just works out without problems or how Matakara doesn't need to work hard to earn their forgiveness. That would have been for a greater character moment and to show Matakara taking responsibility for his actions. But we never see Matakara doing that and him being accepted by the gang feels rather hollow. It's technically nice that he has his friends back and that SS won't have his heart on a stick, but it feels hollow.

Speaking of taking non-responsibilities and being accepted by the gangs, Akutaro is now back with the NG Boys and they're accepting of him?

I really do wish we could have had a scene that explains how the heck he was able to win back his old gang despite them professing that they weren't going to let him beat them around like before. It just feels offputting that Akutaro is back in charge and has their respect with zero explanation or even any build up to it. He spent all his time trying out different jobs and activities but nothing to suggest that he wants to go back to his old club again.

Not to mention that this is still bad news for Minato Kai since Akutaro still has his hatred for Kenichirou and still longs to destroy him. And given how he also hasn't grown out of his negative vices, it's more than likely he'll come up with a new plan to destroy them albeit a different approach. Though the other gangs will be aware of him trying to wreak havoc on them again, I sincerely doubt that that'll stop Akutaro from having his revenge. And with the NG Boys and Girls behind his back, he definitely has a shot at it.

Then there's the resolution with the Nyan Nyaight Love segment. While it was endearing with the Receptionist wanting to help out the Customer, I'm just trying to wrap around the logic behind the Receptionist accepting him again.

It doesn't make sense to me how he'd be accepting of the guy who abducted one of your prized cats, lose her, and then just welcome him back with another cat. It's setting up a cycle for the Customer to fall in love with a new cat only for him to become obsessed with her and then try to steal the cat out of "love". And while the show focuses on him learning to lose his shame of visiting NNL, it doesn't try to challenge his dependency on cats for company along with his hostile jealousy.

Is the Receptionist aware of this potential problem and how it can happen again to another cat? Is the manager of NNL willing to accept the Customer again along with the risk of jeopardizing his business? I can't imagine how difficult it must be to promote a cat only to lose it because of a depressed nutjob.

Also, to the anon who was grossed out by Arajin's mom, I'd like to give a complete apology to you for refuting your claims. Because this...

This was not necessary.

I mean, it is interesting to know that Marito shows attraction to girls/women which gives more depth to his character. And while it is weird for him to hit on an older women, it's still technically okay since it is normal for teens/youth to show attraction to adults that catch their interest.

But what isn't okay is Yayako's reaction to his attention.

Again, she is a grown woman getting over excited because a teenage boy is trying to hit on her. And she's okay with this? Like ma'am, not only is that concerning because of the blatant age differences but you're also a married woman (according to the additional info). How are you so lenient with being hit on by a guy who could pass for your son? Like really? I used to think of Yayako as a quirky, wholesome woman who needed to not let her son treat her like trash. But now I'm seriously questioning her values and how she treats everything in her life like a soap opera.

In regards to Mitsukuni being in a coma and waking up, it was... okay. Like I'm happy that Matakara will get his big brother back and they'll be able to move into an apartment like they wanted to. But I feel that the reveal of him being in a coma undercut alot of the emotional turmoil Matakara went through. I don't know, it just feels rather hollow knowing that Mitsukuni was always there and was going to make it out alive while his little brother was running around like a war machine. It's conflicting in all honesty.

But what isn't conflicting was how much I really didn't care much for Senya returning in the last shot. I wasn't moved by Senya showing up in the last scene or how Arajin secretly missed him. Maybe it's because of how Arajin constantly yelled at him or acted like he didn't care. And while he does care in his own way, I just felt disinterested in the reunion and I had no strong emotions of Senya returning. It doesn't help that the part with Senya and Ichiya "leaving" didn't really have alot of emotional depth to make the reunion more impactful. Senya not coming back would not have me upset.

And those would be my thoughts on the final episode. For those who stuck around to read all of this, I thank you for doing so. And to those that stuck around, I apologize for the excessive negativity. And like I mentioned above, you're more than welcome to reblog this with your thoughts and whether you agreed, disagreed or have something to say regarding my post.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this along with my other posts for this ridiculous show. Your feedback means alot to me and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Nana na na, Nana na na, Nana na na na na...

[nesiacha]

Hi! ~ Since you are the only person, that I know of, who has read biographies about Billaud, would you explain me what happened with him to make he own slaves? Most importantly, did he really actually own some or was the whole thing misinterpreted? Because I personally find it hard to believe someone would forsake his ideals to that point, but who knows what passes through people's mind... He wouldn't be the only one to betray the core values of the revolution; still, it's not something I would have expected from someone like him.

Hello to you too!

Unfortunately, my response might not fully satisfy you, or only partially. As I mentioned in my post, I am waiting until I can acquire Arthur Conte's book Billaud Varennes to better prepare his defense, which I will publish at that time. I hope you understand why my response will be brief. It is easy to defend Billaud Varennes' career, and one can even defend his actions on the 9th of Thermidor. What is difficult is his owning slaves.

Billaud Varennes and Collot d'Herbois were condemned to "la guillotine séche," which means deportation (ironically, Barère managed to escape—what a surprise, I say sarcastically). However, according to reports, neither man opposed this, showing their courage and adherence to the law despite all the criticisms leveled against them (I’ve revealed part of my defense for Collot; and I can’t believe I’m giving a compliment to Collot, it’s horrible).

Initially, the beginning was very difficult, as one might expect (Billaud almost died of illness, Collot did die from it). Subsequently, the conditions of their detention were eased (in fact, the relaxation occurred during Collot's lifetime with Jeannet-Oudin, a cousin of Danton, according to Billaud Varennes' memoirs).

Later, due to this relaxation, he settled as a farmer, and he, who had been for the abolition of slavery, reversed his stance and bought slaves and sold them. It seems he got along poorly with his slaves except for Virginie ( alias Brigitte who will follow him everywhere) . Yes unforgivable betrayal, disapointment, I won’t defend on this, and I am agree with all users in Tumblr who mentionned it, he got even friend slavers ... Here is how he presented her to his father in a letter: "I must tell you that I have had, with me, for eight years, a housekeeper to whom I owe the prolongation of my sad existence, through the incredible care she has taken of me during the frequent and acute illnesses I have experienced here when I was in absolute abandonment and destitution. So, as soon as the return of slavery occurred, I bought her, paid in cash, and immediately gave her freedom. Therefore, I do not presume that my family will find it wrong, after the precious services this girl has rendered me and continues to render daily, through the order and economy she maintains in my house and the supervision and good conduct she ensures among my negroes, that I try to save her from misery, in case she should lose me, by guaranteeing her the enjoyment of the property here that I can dispose of, and which rightly belongs to her, having at least as much contributed as I did, through her work, to earning it..." Furthermore, Billaud Varennes bequeathed everything to her. However, I read somewhere that he bought her when she was a child, and other Tumblr users have mentioned this too. Apparently, she lived until 1874, which supports this thesis. I hope he didn’t force her like Napoleon did with Marie Walewska... I am waiting to get the book Billaud Varennes by Arthur Conte because I think I will have more details on Brigitte (I know it’s another era, but I found it weird that Danton married Louise Gely given her young age, and weird too in some ways, the relationship between Camille and Lucile Desmoulins, especially considering that Camille had a platonic love for Annette Duplessis).

Nevertheless, it is important to highlight that Billaud Varennes refused Napoleon's pardon. Yes, it may seem insignificant to some, but for me, it means a lot. It took courage and conviction, especially since correspondence between his family and him was difficult due to the distance. I want to highlight a letter from Nicolas Billaud in 1800: "My only wish before dying is to be able to embrace him once more and to see you all reunited. God willing, before that time, I will have that satisfaction. I am sure that, in this circumstance, you will make all necessary steps to make this happen." and from Henriette-Suzanne Billaud: "I desire, like your father, to embrace you before dying." How many of us would set aside our convictions and accept the pardon of a military dictator just to see our parents one last time? Or simply to see the homeland where we grew up? Not many, and I don’t blame them (after all, Félix Le Peletier, a revolutionary I admire, accepted Napoleon’s pardon after being deported by him, and we can hardly blame him). Then he settled in Haiti and even became an advisor to Alexandre Pétion. Haiti, this land where slaves fought to be free (even though Pétion is very controversial, first allying with the French, then only after Toussaint’s deportation, joining nationalist forces; there are still controversies about him, so I will refrain from arguing about a character I don’t know well). His accommodation was apparently a two-room hut; this shows he was still rightly considered competent and that he lived his last years with disinterest. In fact, he decided to die at his laundress's house, accompanied by Brigitte in a poor cabin, and died peacefully. I like to think that in some way, after renouncing his ideals on slavery, he somehow reconciled with them at the end.

There is a repellent effect of his exile compared to Napoleon’s. The beginning was very violent and harsh for Billaud, who accepted it as a legalist, did not escape even though it was tough, and his exile is seen as a bit more unjust, especially since they wanted to make him a scapegoat like Tinville, Robespierre, Saint-Just by the worst opportunists such as Fouché, Barras, Tallien... Apart from slavery (and maybe for serving Pétion, who apparently suspended the Constitution), he remained true to his convictions and finally died in poverty but very surrounded, free in the company of people he appreciated. He resumed politics as a counselor at the end in his life.

Napoleon’s initial exile was very easy; just look at Elba. Then, since he was not a legalist (euphemism), he returned for the Hundred Days, which would be more catastrophic in the long run for France (for once, I agreed with Germaine de Staël). Then he was deported to Saint Helena, with much less freedom (logically, conditions are always toughened for someone who has escaped, but I say he benefited from a clemency he did not grant to his opponents, the slaves who were atrociously killed, the deportations,etc, so ultimately he is very lucky in my eyes), and he no longer had a political voice. In fact, there were only a few loyalists left; he died much less surrounded (and I don’t blame Marie Louise for moving on with her life and refusing to join him). He, who had a taste for luxury, must have felt the difference, even if it was preferable to that of a peasant. No need to decipher the moral of this story if there is one.

Moreover, between a Billaud Varennes even at his worst regarding slavery (or Danton or even Collot) and Napoleon, it is clear that I would not choose Napoleon. Napoleon unlike the propaganda said is a man with bloody methods (just looking at Jaffa,Haiti, Guadeloupe,etc) just like the worst revolutionnary like Fouché in 17993-1794, and he is a dictator.

Sorry for the long paragraph; I cannot say everything about Billaud Varennes since I have used up much of my defense that I am building for him, but I hope this will suffice (at least I haven't exhausted his defense before deportation and even some points about Collot). I hope you will all forgive me! But maybe it will change when I will finally the book write by Arthur Conte.

P.S : I translate the letter in english but we all know that it is in French.

Sources :

www.amis-robespierre.org

Collot d’Herbois légendes noires et révolution- Michel Biard

Mémoires inédits et correspondance accompagnés de notices biographiques sur Billaud-Varenne et Collot -d’Herbois par Alfred Bégis ( à prendre avec modération)

Jacques Guilaine Billaud Varennes

For the affirmation that Camille Desmoulins love in a platonic way Annette Duplessis, see Hervé Leuwers Camille Desmoulins or in one of his videos on Camille and Lucile Desmoulins in Youtube.

At least it is a better exercise for prepare the difficult defense of someone like Billaud Varennes after his deportation :) with these everyone could correct me if I said a wrong thing before the final defense :)

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Happy Friday! I've been lucky enough to have a lazy, rainy Friday where I get to cuddle on the sofa with my pets and relax while reading fic, specifically, the lovely fic that's been recced by @candybarrnerd, also known as icarusinflight on AO3. I had read their fics before, but was very lucky to have the chance to get to know them better through their contribution to the Pride in the Library series. My favorite thing about having guests join in the library is that it gives me the opportunity to make new fandom friends. It's been so lovely to get to know Le better, and I know that you'll love the recommendation they have for you!

Hello! I would like to thank thedrarrylibrarian for giving me the chance to do one of these! When they asked me I was so delighted to say yes, and when I looked through my bookmarks to see if there was anything that I wanted to rec, I knew I had the fic. Something that just hit all the spots for me. Something that really just, it's a me fic. I hope there are some other people out there that will find it enjoyable too!

The Words that Pass Between Us by Overwatched (10,049 words, rated T)

Sometimes, Draco draws pictures of what could have been, had he made all the right choices: Draco in the Slug Club; Draco holding the Quidditch World Cup; Draco holding hands with some nameless, faceless person whose become some sick, secret sort of friend. He’s on every page Draco has touched. He flies with him, sleeps with him, laughs with him. And sometimes, if he pretends hard enough, Draco swears he can feel this person’s breath against his neck; a whispered I love you that has him pressing into the mattress every night, only to wake up alone, wishing it were real.

This is a fic that was made for the HP Consent Fest - if you're what probably passes for fandom old you might remember this fest. It came out of a discussion about how many common tropes (and commonly in hp) have dub-con or non-con aspects and then it morphed into HP Consent fest. The fest gave us some absolutely wonderful fics, and I treasure many of them. 

This fic is… it has a feel. It has that feeling of being alone, that feeling of knowing you messed up and are facing the consequences. But also of being mad about that - and also the resentment when you feel like you are being pitied (whether you are or not). It's about being a mess of a person, of being messy as a person. It's a complex mix of a fic, and one that sits deep in the feelings, something that if you read my fics you probably know to associate with me.

The Draco in this fic is not redeemed - he is still hanging onto resentments.

But this fic is one that doesn't shy away from that. It deals with Draco's shittiness, it deals with his pain, and in that actually deals with Draco working on becoming a better person, sits with that and lets you watch who this person really is.

The fic deals with recovery a lot, and finding comforts, and the pain when that is challenged

They don’t see him tugging at his hair, angry he will bear this Mark forever, wondering if his father will ever come home, and wondering how anyone – let alone himself – could find forgiveness in their heart for everything he’s done.

This fic is a character study, or a love letter, or both. To Draco but also every character in Harry Potter, every character who was a person too, with their own hopes and loves and desires. In reading this fic again for this I was reminded of just how much and all the reasons why I love this fic, and made tender all over again over it.

I hope if you read it, you find some of that love in it.

Thank you so much, icarusinflight, for the joining me in the Library today, and providing an excellent rainy day read! I know the library patrons will enjoy your recommendation as much as I did!

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Lots of Love and Happy Friday!

[chairteeth]

So I did a lil bit of intro writing

For my upcoming contribution to the @magireco-minibang, I've decided to write a couple of introductions so to speak, in each main character's pov. I've been partnered with @karinmisono for this project and I for one am excessively excited about it aaaaa-

Anyway, the girls have grown different from their canon selves to some extent, given the changes in their formative years, but don't worry, being thrown into an eldritch horror gallery will bond anyone most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eighteen. The very day Nemu Hiiragi had turned eighteen, she’d stopped going to therapy. Her parents didn’t stop her—didn’t care enough to even find out. What had therapy ever done for her, besides bring to light how miserable her home life truly was?

Her father didn’t give her a break. She was barely listening to him when she walked into the kitchen. Something about a competition. Another competition. What was it going to be this time? Kendo? Karate? Taekwondo would at least be enjoyable.

“Oh, Nemu, there are leftovers in the fridge,” her mother called.

“Thank you, Mom, but I ate lunch before I left Yukuni.”

“I see…”

Before either of her parents could continue talking to her, Nemu left her bag on the counter and headed to her room, registering one last shout from her father to get ready for training. This was why she preferred to be anywhere but the house. She caught sight of her brother glaring at her from the door to his room and politely ignored it.

Once she’d finished counting the books in her room, as she did every time she entered it in hopes that her father wouldn’t have thrown away any of them, she eyed her laptop on her desk. Weekend mornings were the only time her father had been convinced to grant her for classes, prioritizing training his begrudging champion above her studies. She’d used up that day’s morning free time on returning to Kamihama all the way from Yukuni City.

“I suppose my assignments will be feasible to do tonight after dinner… which leaves me stranded here to sleep for the night. Not the worst fate, although unpleasant.”

She left her glasses on her dresser to put in her contacts, seeing as it was preferable to do it at home rather than the dojo. After a few blinks, a glance at her buzzing phone showed her a rare text from the only person she would hesitantly call a friend: Alina Gray. That could not possibly be good news.

“Cherry blossom viewing…? Alina would never suggest this. It must have been her girlfriend who proposed this. In Sankyo Ward as well… I do recall Akira mentioning that there’s a park with beautiful cherry blossoms nearby. While the prospect holds a certain appeal, I cannot extend my acceptance until I’ve formulated a suitable strategy to circumvent Dad’s potential objections.”

Strategizing would not be difficult… so long as she didn’t delude herself with any ideas of her unflinchingly strict father allowing her to skip even a single training session. Her instructors promoted discipline, however they had been willing to cover for her in the past. Once or twice. She hated having to request anything out of anyone.

“But… I would benefit from a small break. A break that does not involve depersonalization of the highest caliber.”

If her therapist had left her with anything, it would be the curse of self-awareness. All she’d wanted to do after leaving the hospital had been to bond with her family and indulge in her passions somewhere that wasn’t a sterile white environment reeking of medication.

Over her summer shirt, Nemu felt her fingertips glide around the contour of the scar beneath her breasts, and she hated the way it made her breath hitch. Breathing, breathing, breathing. Her enemy, it felt like. Or at least, for the longest time, it had been. She had not yet been able to go more than a few days without thinking back to the hospital. To the days of choking on her own mucus, when her limbs felt like lead and her useless, weak, defective lungs were filled with sandpaper, each cough rasping and tearing at her throat. The days of gasping for oxygen in a lonely room as if trying to suck air through a straw, tears streaming down her cheeks and her vision swimming. Those days when she’d both plead for and curse her parents, unable to hear herself above the high-pitched whistle that filled her ears, the constant reminder of the narrowed airways that choked her every breath. The red of her blood had looked beautiful when it stained her sheets—unproductive, the nurses had called it.

A bang on her door snapped her out of her thoughts.

“You’re gonna be late, grab your uniform and get your ass out the door!” her father yelled.

With a sigh, Nemu retrieved her folded up uniform and took her immunosuppressant pills dry. She’d heed her father’s command this once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touka never thought she could hate the stars. It wasn’t that she hated them, exactly. Recent events had simply granted her a new perspective.

“Fire requires oxygen and fuel. Fire produces heat and light through a chemical reaction called combustion. Fire releases ash and other byproducts. Stars don’t need oxygen or fuel in the traditional sense. Stars generate light and heat through nuclear fusion, where atoms combine to release enormous amounts of energy. Stars don’t produce ash, but heavier elements.”

She’d been repeating that to herself for months. The incident had left parts of her home in shambles, charred beyond recognition. Other parts had only seen minor damage. Including the particular canvas she’d been staring at. A perfect replica of herself, wearing a different dress and yet the same cursed bright smile she’d been made to sport since her inception. It made her frown to see the scorch marks—they left her figure untouched, consuming everything around her instead.

Touka took a deep breath. She couldn’t spend her day idling and moping. Her siblings were counting on her. They may have been older, but they’d been far more terrified than her when their guests had turned on them and set their home ablaze. It was her job to lead.

She stopped at the top of the stairs. The likelihood of falling was rather high, if her terrible balance since the incident was anything to go by. As if to taunt her, the sensation of burning embers radiated into her back and shoulders, numb yet tingling, icy cold yet searing hot. An ache, a throb she couldn’t escape. The smell of smoke and ash lingered in her nose.

“Like a ship missing its sails…”

With a scowl, she tried to take it one step at a time. And every step felt like descending into Hell itself. The ache radiated from her shoulder blades, down her spine, and into her fingers. Touka kept her eyes glued to the stairs below. Thankfully, there was a railing to hold onto. Unfortunately for her, as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she felt an itch urging her to scratch at it. She would not be scratching at empty air. For her dignity. She’d grit her teeth, squeeze her eyes shut, and hope it would pass soon. Her hand went to the black rose she wore in her hair.

“I need… to make better defenses. Every visitor that has come to our home has hurt us, only to flee before we can retaliate. I don’t know why I thought it would be different this time. Well, I was right, it was different, just… not in a good way. Of course not.”

Her older sisters had told her once, over tea, that she had no thorns. No matter how hard she tried to keep people away, she’d always end up trusting at the first sign of kindness. They’d tried not to blame her, but she could tell what they were thinking. Why would she want to be close to others when she already had such a large family that adored her?

“They don’t feel trapped here like I do… It hasn’t been the same since Father left. I wish I knew why he abandoned us. It was… little after I was born… Was it something to do with me? Did he not want to look at me?” She lifted up her forearm and stared at the burn scar forever etched into her skin. “Was I… defective?”

Touka slammed her fist into the concrete wall, sending cracks out from the point of impact. She could not afford distractions. She could not afford mourning. She could not afford-

But it ached. It ached and she fell to her knees beside the wall.

No sound. No sun. No wind.

She’d waited so long. First, in silence. Then, making the most noise she could. Trying everything, anything to make him proud. Why had he been so cruel as to abandon all of his children without a word? Her siblings had raised her with stories of their father’s loving soul and his kind hand. She’d never known them herself. What had she done to deserve his scorn? Why was she not worthy of his love as her siblings had been? Why did everyone who met her hate her? Why could she not let go of her sorrows and live happily like the rest of her siblings?

“They call me a genius… Is that why? It hurts… It hurts so much…”

The first sob came without tears.

[hatchetfieldtheories]

#Rewatchers2000

Re-Watchers With A Thousand Eyes - a Starkid, Shipwrecked and Tin Can Bros weekly watch-along

But this time, the full schedule is hidden.

That's why my chart is so big, its full of secrets!

Its that time of year folks. We've all been hyped up for Nerdy Prudes Must Die, and whether you watched it live, via digital ticket, or not at all - we're now all waiting for its Youtube release.

Now considering Starkid have announced the release will likely be later this year or early next year, I figured now would be a good time to revisit our old friend - the offline watchalong, asychronous watch party, the retro rewind!

An “offline watchalong” is where a show/series is picked as the “show of the week” and everyone who wants to join in watches it at any point in the week they wish to.  Then throughout the week as people watch the show, we can make posts, mini-fics (or longer fics if you’re a writing whiz!) and fanart (again for you talented folks) about that week’s show. Or literally just talk about it!

It doesn't matter if you're an old hat or have never seen a show before - all are welcome to join and watch whatever you like.

The schedule will be released gradually - to allow focus for the current themes, but also just in case we get any big surprise teasers [bloody hexagons] and need to pause the watchalong. However I've sorted a schedule that will currently take us to the beginning of October - in the hopes that any news might be then.

Written version of schedule and full how to take part is below!

:readmore:

So how to take part?

Watch the week’s show!  You don’t have to watch every single week’s show, if you feel like skipping a week because a show’s not for you, awesome!  Curate your own enjoyment and join in again when we reach a show you’re excited for!

Make a post, fic, art etc - the idea is we are all in this watch-along together so seeing everyone’s thoughts on the content is what’s exciting.  Not creative? Fabulous, neither am I - my contribution is likely to be “omg I love this bit in xxx when xxx...” - feel free to do the same.

Tag it! As well as tagging with the show/creators, include the tag #ReWatchers2000 so that if anyone doesn’t want to see the content, they can filter it.  

Don’t have anything to post?  No problem - reblog away!  Press that like button! Learn “Listen to Your Heart Joey” in the privacy of your own bedroom just for yourself! Perfect your Oscar Wilde impression in your mirror! 

Not seen one of the shows before?  Amazing!  This could be an opportunity to find something new you hadn’t realised you were missing!

Don’t have time to watch this week? I get you!  We’re all busy, but feel free to engage with the content anyway - and hey, you can always watch the show when you’re free in a different week!

Most importantly - be kind.  The shows, series, and shorts we’ll be watching are lovingly made by some amazing people who have put in a great amount of time, energy and money into making us amazing content for free!  Equally, these fan communities have some incredible fan-work which also takes a lot of love and effort. Be kind about the content you watch and the content that may appear.

Text based version of the schedule

1st May: Twisted

8th May: A Vhs Christmas Carol

15th May: Poe Party + Bonus!

22nd May: Wayward Guide

29th May: Headless

5th June: Ani: A Parody

12th June: Trail to Oregon

19th June: Little White Lie

26th June and 3rd July: A Very Potter Trilogy

10th July: Me and My Dick

17th July: Spies Are Forever

24th July: The Case of the Gilded Lily

31st July: Solve it Squad Returns and Back in Biz

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I'm torn here - I love discussion, I don't want to insulate myself from interesting, nuanced discussion. On the other hand, a takeaway I've had in life lately is sometimes you just have to let it go. You can't change it. You just have to move on. And the constant heavy discussion can be a lot to read and absorb. She also has the unique situation of being a prolific writer, deeply relatable, near universal womanhood experiences and also, because the nature of her image, I don't always want to discuss her how I would an author, especially an author who is long gone. Idk if this makes any sense, I enjoy following you, but I sometimes feel myself getting bogged down by the very discussions I also enjoy.

I understand that, I really do, but I think it's also natural for topics to come up and to respond to them, like you would in conversation with friends in real life. Sometimes you don't talk about things for weeks or months and then your friend says something and it sparks a whole discussion, and I think that's the same way it works on platforms like this. And again with the utmost respect and kindness and gratitude, I think there's a difference between what gets discussed on a platform like, say, tumblr, where the blogging DNA lends itself to longer, more thoughtful and often collaborative discussion, and what may happen on other platforms that are more "soundbite"-y. (I don't know, tumblr is the only social media I use, but I know twitter is a cesspool in general and primed for ragebait for engagement, unlike this hellsite held together by duct tape and spite and cupcakes.)

And I'm the first to admit, I don't delve like this at all into any other musician or author or artist for the most part. The closest analog I can think of are the TV shows I used to love before they were dead to me. But I also think part of that is again, Taylor is uniquely prolific in this day and age so there is so much art to digest, and she's been uniquely honest in sharing her experiences in the past that many of her contemporaries hadn't in the same way, so yes, it drove the whole parasocialism thing to an extent. I personally don't see this as an inability to let go; the conversations I've seen here are mostly thoughtful, nuanced and often borne out of people's own personal experiences as well, and I think there's a difference between jumping into a quasi-literary analysis of her work and like, harassing the "players" involved. (The latter would absolutely be an inability to let go, but luckily I don't see any of that in my little corner here, and I would hope that's an outlier experience.) There's nothing to let go for any of us because it wasn't our "thing" in the first place, and only belonged to the people involved. I think what most of us relate to are the feelings and what that makes us think about our own experience with them. Taylor has written something like over 300 songs, so it feels pretty normal to listen to something you maybe haven't heard in awhile (again, because there are so many) and be like, huh, this kind of jumps back into this other theme we've been talking about lately.

And another thing I'm going to say again with the utmost respect and kindness, and this is not directed at you but at the internet at large (lol) is that: at the end of the day, these are all our own blogs, our own spaces to share what we personally find interesting to talk about. My blog is not a discussion board for all to contribute in equal weight; it's a place for me to engage with content I enjoy with people I enjoy, both personally and from afar, and I sincerely hope everyone else is able to do the same on their own blogs. No blogger here should feel like they have to cater to anyone else but their own interests and enjoyment, the only thing that matters is to do so respectfully towards others and the art with which we interact. (Maybe that's why I'm not an ask blog and occupy a tiny unknown space here lol. Which to be clear is just fine with me.) Sometimes there are great conversations going on the dash and I like to jump in with my own thoughts, other times I'm not interested or don't have the brain space for it and skip. It's whatever you're in the mood for on a given day.

Which again is where curating your experience comes in, whether that's following/unfollowing, filtering, etc. I know I'm guilty of poorly tagging my shit because tumblr is terrible at it in general, but keywords are easy for me to filter at least, and then I can choose if I want to engage or not. (At least, that's how I have my dash curated. There are some topics I just don't care for, so I've filtered the words, and if once in awhile I see a filtered post and I think, hmm, maybe I'm OK with that today, I'll click on it to see what's going on.) Or, I can simply scroll past, too. I'm not at all saying this to be condescending, I'm just saying what works for me personally so I can protect my own peace and navigate what I do and don't want to talk about at a given time, if that's at all helpful to anyone else. At the end of the day, you as a reader don't owe anyone your eyeballs or real estate in your head, so you don't owe it to anyone to keep up with their blogs if they aren't enjoyable to you at that time. If there were a consistent or better way to tag these topics then maybe I could help others in that way, but I don't know that there is. (I can't even keep tags consistent on my own blog in spite of how I tried at first.)

I get that these are heavy topics and heavy times and are not things everyone wants to see. Hell, there are times *I* don't want to see them either. Which again, is where options come in-- not going on tumblr (or whatever platform) to begin with if I am not up for it, using the tools available (e.g. filtering), unfollowing (tbh have never had to do that in the year and a half I've been in the Swiftie tumblr fandom, where everyone here has been lovely, but I have in the past in other fandoms), or disengaging and cooling off. I'm not saying everyone needs to do this, but again just saying what works for me, and why my dash is mostly a pleasant experience that I can tailor to how I'm feeling during different periods of my life.

I hope I haven't caused you grief anon! And if I have, that you're able to find a corner of the fandom that gives you respite from the heaviness and is more in line with the things you find pleasure in if it's not this. Tbh now that Eras is over (and thus surprise songs are no longer driving some of these conversations) and it seems like Taylor is going into a quieter season to rest and recuperate and create, I imagine most of these discussions are going to taper off in the new year anyway, so it will naturally dissipate and move on as we all find new things to fill our time.

(This is why I hesitated to add my thoughts in the first place, and why I won't be adding more to the discussion.)

[prettyboykatsuki]

ohhHh hi it is specialgradefckr from the other day! asking on anon because my main blog is in a completely unrelated fandom that i've totally lost the love for lmao.

honestly it was such a mood seeing your reaction bc YES. it was weird!! it was DIFFERENT! it was Some Kinda Mood going on in that fic!!!

sometimes you just. get a neat little idea. a little corner with all these nooks and crannies to mess around in. you light up and you just GO. and what comes out of it seems kinda weird, definitely not what you'd normally write but GUESS WHAT!!

this world has a place for funny little fics! weird stuff!! what is the POINT of being a writer if you are not making your dolls take off their clothes and smash after a suicide attempt and discussions of sexual slavery???

i actually came across your work wayyyy back when i first got into jjk. i read "How To Be A Dog" and i still don't know what to say about it.

the best way to describe my feelings towards that fic is that it's like i got there late to the party. there's some meat left on the bones i haven't eaten. i don't think i've gotten everything out of it.

for example, i had to re-read some sections over again to fully parse what was going on with the reader's curse (i think it was a snake and i am saying that from memory, scout's honor). and the fic spends a lot of time in gojo's POV, which I very much enjoyed!

but most fanfics, especially reader-inserts, stick to the reader POV and are written to be much more immediately digestible than other forms of fiction. you know the characters, you know the setting, let's get to the MEAT of it.

but your fic was like, the type where you really need to Pay Attention to each and every line, because each line does contribute something distinct to the characters or tone. it was so DENSE and i was NOT prepared to run into that while cheerfully looking for noncon gojo/reader porn skjfhglhdsg.

it's rare to find a fic that goes that hard. like if you want your fic to be That Deep you gotta commit to it, you know? and you don't have to do that for a fic to be good or enjoyable, you just do it For The Art, because you see what the fic could be and you want it to be that way. kudos to you.

it was an amazing work of fiction. maybe one day i will have the attention span to read the whole thing and actually feel like i'm understanding everything and the fic will stop haunting me whenever i think about it

anyways apologies for rambling in your inbox, i do hope you don't think i'm too weird lmao i just really like writing and fics. thank you for sharing yours <3

SDFKJSDJKFSDKJ i agree!!

i think like. i love the genre of absurd stuff so much in my media consumption but ive always had a hard time finding space for it in fanfiction. so writing that gojo dark comedy fic was an attempt to make some room for it and try my hand out and it ended up being a person favorite piece despite how insane it is

so i was really happy hearing other people enjoyed it and were rececptive to it bc really whats the point if you can't go and write something completely insane just for shits and giggles you know. sometimes u get a neat little idea and u just gotta go ham on it i agree

ALSO AAAAA !! A HTBAD READER IN THE WILD.... htbad is like. genuinely my magnum opus at least to me. its one of those things where i dont think im ever going to fully recover from it so when people tell me they've read it i automatically feel super emotional.

it is . super high praise to hear that you feel like you get something from it every time you read the fic. im not much of a planner but i really did pour my soul into each and every line of that thing so it means the world that it comes through!!

CHEERFULLY LOOKING FOR GOJO NONCON JHHDSJFKSD WELL YES ... i understand though i think that fic tends to jumpscare ppl in a similar way all the time since its extremely heavy tonally. it was definitely a fic i wrote For The Art if nothing else and definitely a fic i incidentally poured a lot into it. it genuinely always means the world to me to hear good things about it and im so so so elated to hear you talk so highly about it.

THANK YOU FOR READING. AND FOR LEAVING ME SUCH A KIND MESSAGE. i was basically dead on my feet last night trying to do anything but i was extremely happy seeinf this before bed. i hope today is kind to u