#so i have 6 minutes until then good

[homerforsure]

I have to figure out a way to work 7 days a week because I actively sabotage any free time I have in the worst way possible and at least I worked on fic the last day I was at work.

[castielfucks]

i love that we are discovering our boundaries and saying No, but there comes a point where you can't cancel on your friends anymore. you have to say yes eventually and actually be there. if you like being invited you have to show up at least once. like listen to your body and energy, obviously. but there will come a time where your friends will start hurting and think you're avoiding them or don't like them or don't want to hang out, because every single time you had the opportunity you said no or you canceled last minute.

[neondiamond]

.

[iiscpr]

more bullshit

[eggmeralda]

I need a massive sudden hyperfixation shock to happen again

[exopelagic]

help I just wanna play splatoon but I have to revise :(

[tittyinfinity]

why is it that my doctor pissed me off so much yet I'm suddenly bawling my eyes out over the fact that I won't see him again after 8 1/2 years

[dykedragons]

ive done an insane amount of stuff in the last week. goodness gracious. all these high-effort tasks that ive been doing all day, in a row!!!!!!!! and i still have 2 days of assignments left but at least theyre just writing and editing and can be done in just one big sitting each...

i textured, added materials, lighted and rendered the room (first 3 images) in ONE DAY. i was up until 6 am. and that was after UV unwrapping every object for like 3 days straight.

the Fatalis drawing was done in 2 days. the Daydream sculpt was done in 4 days. this is a cry for help lmfao

[waugh-bao]

London (+ Sofia): Week 3

[henchmaxxing]

Rincewind could not catch Kira but by virtue of being the fumbling protagonist of The B Plot he would set into motion various shenanigans that lead to Kira's ironic and appropriate death/capture.

And he would survive because he's not getting out of this shit that easily.

[chyelo]

i can't believe i have to be in class from 9am to 6:30 pm today

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

I moved to a new place and it's right across the street from this bar that's like THE live music place in town, and they basically have shows every night of the week and my bedroom faces it and I also have an exterior door that is Not Soundproofed AT ALL and I think I'm going to loose my mind because last night. SUNDAY NIGHT. They had a heavy metal band going until 2am and I could not sleep and if the same thing happens again I'm going to just.... cry idfk. The worst part is that it's good music. Like right now they're playing some good live jazz. But like. It's loud enough that It's like it's just playing in the other room. Which is a pain in the ass.

And also there's an earwig problem in my room so I haven't been able to unpack or put things where they're supposed to go because of that and this morning one of them LITERALLY CRAWLED OUT FROM HNDER THE CAP OF MY ALLERGY PILL BOTTLE AS I WENT TO PICK IT UP and like somehow this place is better than our last place but the downsides. The downsides are Big and, naturally, are only affecting me :) because my roommate is a ridiculously heavy sleeper and so far has not encountered any bugs :))

[callmearcturus]

Wait, do people know about the Before I Play wiki?

I have used this for..... at this point easily over 6 years. It's a wiki where there will be low-spoiler/non-spoiler hints about just stuff you would want to know before playing a game.

It's always stuff like.... "Vitality in this game is useless, put your points in everything else first" or "Don't leave the second hub town until you buy X item, it'll become unobtainable."

Lemme pick an example almost everyone will know. From the Animal Crossing New Horizons page, the first tip is:

Nearly everything on the island is movable later, including all buildings and even cliffs and rivers. The main things that are fixed are the stuff on the border of the island (river mouths, beaches, rocks/peninsulae, the dock and the airport) and the resident services plaza, so picking your island layout should be based around that primarily.

That's stellar advice, tbh, given what you'll know about the game 30 hours in instead of 30 minutes.

Not every game is covered obviously and not every piece of advice is good, it's all subjective, BUT..... I look up almost every game I play for the first time, just to keep stuff in mind. The SMT4 page had top tier advice imo.

[hussyknee]

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

----------------------------------------------

Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

----------------------------------------------

I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

-----

Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

----

Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

--

🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️

[antiwhores]

You accidentally had sex with Bakugou.

You two had fallen asleep in his room after a hang out. You were bestfriends but you had some underlining feelings for him. So when you woke up in the middle of the night to him cuddling you, you almost choked.

You needed to pee really bad so sadly you had to pry yourself out of his arms. When you came back his eyes were cracked open just barely. He mumbled something before opening his arms for you to join him again.

It was out of character, maybe tired Bakugou was just a touchy guy. It couldn’t be more than that.

So you joined him on the bed. You buried your face into his neck. You had to savor this cause most likely this’ll be the last time this happens. Also, you were too tired to freak out. You just wanted to fall asleep in his arms.

You can barely explain what happened after that. He hiked your leg onto him, still with his half open eyes, and thrusted right against your clothed pussy.

The next thing you know, he’s dry humping you. And then he’s fingering you. And finally he’s fucking you.

It felt good, too good.

But the morning after? You felt embarrassed. No way you just fucked him without even a first date. He’s gonna think you’re easy. He might even tell everyone that you are.

Of course, that would never happen but you were panicked. You couldn’t possibly comprehend that the great Dynamight chose you. You weren’t famous. Not a vogue model, a hero, or even wealthy. You had nothing to give him.

He had to be messing with you.

So you slipped out of his hold at 5am sharp and went home.

You fell back to sleep in tears and woke up to several texts and calls. Good thing you had your ringer off.

Bakugou - 6:34am

Where’d you go?

I was gonna make you breakfast dumbass

Bakugou - 6:52

Y/n?

Missed call - 7:00am

Bakugou - 7:30

Is this about last night?

I’ll wait for that call back so we can talk about it.

Missed call - 10:03am

Bakugou - 10:05

Call me and we can talk about it. This ignoring me isn’t gonna make it go away.

Missed call - 11:12

Missed call - 11:26

Missed call - 11-31

Bakugou - 11:40

Fucking call me back, this shit isn’t funny.

You’re so lucky I don’t know where you live yet. I’d be there in 15 minutes if I knew.

You debated calling him back. But your embarrassment and anger stopped you from letting him explain himself. How could he use your feelings against you like that! He probably knew that you liked him and wanted a quick fuck.

You started to cry all over again.

A week passed by with no contact. He sent you the occasional text telling you to talk to him but after the 6th day he seemed to give up. At least you thought that until he showed up at your door.

You opened the door wide without checking who it was since you were expecting a package. Your eyes widened when you noticed the blonde leaning against the doorframe, still in his hero costume. He must’ve just gotten off work, saving civilians and climbing the charts. It was another reminder of how he could never want you.

“You gonna let me in or am I-“

You tried to slam the door in his face but he shoved it back open easily. He let himself in, scanning the place.

“Nice place, ‘don’t see why you hadn’t invited me over.”

Maybe it’s because your small, cosy apartment didn’t compare to his high rise penthouse at the top floor.

You grabbed his arm and tried to pull him out. But he wasn’t having it and didn’t let you move him an inch.

“You need to leave, Bakugou.”

“Wow. Last name basis and I was inside you a week ago.”

“Yeah well that shouldn’t have happened.”

“Okay but it did so let’s fuckin’ talk about it.”

You just wanted him to leave before you bursted out in tears. You shook your head, trying to pull him harder but to no avail. Your lip quivered in frustration as tears welled up in your eyes.

Suddenly, he threw you over his shoulder and set you on the couch.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

You broke down in tears.

You told him everything, every assumption you made and every insecurity. You told him how you liked him but you knew he didn’t like you back. He sat there patiently, not speaking a word until you were done.

He got up with a blank face. You thought he was gonna leave at first but he kneeled down to be eye to eye with you.

“Wanna go on a date?”

It surprised you. It was the last thing he expected you to say.

“I’ll take you on a date and prove to you how much I want you. And for the record, I’ve probably liked you longer than you have me. When we met in that coffee shop I immediately knew you were the one I wanted. ‘S rude of you of you to make assumptions but I’ll let it pass if you go on a date with me.”

You agreed as he wiped off your tears. Who were you to say no?

[catilinas]

dashboard simulator

mutual 1: [one million posts about a fandom im not in. in the span of five minutes]

mutual 2: M. Caelius too must not pass unnoticed, notwithstanding the unhappy change, either of his fortune or disposition, which marked the latter part of his life. As long as he was directed by my influence, he behaved himself so well as a tribune of the people, that no man supported the interests of the senate, and of all the good and virtuous, in opposition to the

mutual 3: patricide would fix me

mutual 4: [5000 word theoretically informed breakdown of a book i have not read]

mutual 5: #omg this reminds me of the roman legal system

mutual 6: cannibalism is so mainstream now we need to start posting about necrophilia

mutual 7: so a detailed prosopographical analysis of this roman family reveals that actually they all died due to being haunted by an ancestral curse

mutuals 8-10: this tv show is actually just sophocles’ oedipus. to me

mutual 11: [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags]

mutual 12: here’s why these two words actually have NO etymological connection!!!

mutual 13: i’m just like this 18th century lawyer but a girl

mutual 14: cicero big naturals

mutual 15: scurvy is inherently both transgender and sexy…… put the rot in eroticism or whatever

mutual 16: she moby on my dick until i doomed by the narrative