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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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well its always better to ignore me 90% of the time anyway and just focus on whatever art i poop out bc im too old to give a fuck abt these things anymore and just continue to say the dumbest silliest shit i have on my mind under my breath lmaoo
#no mid 20s isnt even close to old but yall get the gist#ik its meant to be lh but i guess im in a weird headspace rn and jsut wanna remind yall you can freely#block my babbles tag if you want me to stfu and also just not read my tags#since i happen to rant a lot in them#ALSO I MAY SAY THE DUMBEST THINGS THAT ARE ON MY MIND BUT its never harmful or mean stuff. its rlly just silly brainpoop#theres things you can ramble abt and things that should be left unsaid. so yeah no harm in me being silly in my own space#but yea feel free to block or ignore me i know im very annoying and people get tired of me and my broken brain constantly okok#babbles#tbd
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basically without exception there are 2 kinds of people in hisui in pla. there are the ones who go "hmm you're so strange and suspicious here do this dangerous task that i'm too scared/weak/lazy/whatever to do and MAYBE i'll start to trust you" and then there are the ones who go "wow you're so talented and cool and good at things here surely you'll be able to do this dangerous task for me won't you? since you're so helpful and all?" and that's why protagonist just never catches a fucking break
#the nemesis speaks#ok i lied there are a couple exceptions#cyllene is giving you tasks not bc you are suspicious or very talented but just bc you like. work for her.#and you still gotta rank up and prove your strength like everyone else before you go run off and do even more dangerous stuff#no free passes for being a hero so you can go get your legs broken faster.#another is. hilariously. arguably melli i think. because there is no task on sinnoh's earth that could save you from his judgement#and then of course there is mvp ingo who dgaf what your reputation is he's got a job to do he's gonna fucking do it.#actually there's probably a different post to be made here abt how ingo uniquely views the protagonist not as a Special Other#but just as like. a kid. who happens to be strong and fun to battle with yeah#but still. they're just another traveler that he's responsible for guiding through the region.#idk thinkin abt him.#pla analysis#i guess
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My mom and me, bearers of every health problem, looking up the dishes our family has eaten off of for generations after seeing the Skyrim CD dinner post
#UH OH GAMERS#What's even funnier is that we've broken a lot of stuff over the years so we also have a fair number of newer dishes#But I've always intentionally gone for the older ones whenever they're clean because I think they're prettier#WHOOPSIE DAISY#SO GUESS WHO MIGHT BE GETTING TESTED FOR LEAD POISONING
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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#not to be that person but the 14 crimes community is a dumpster fire#in many ways but what gets me livid is the organization of things#or the lack thereof#everything is in discord#IT IS NOT A FILE SHARING NOR GOOD PLACE TO HOST FILES DIPSHITS#ALSO ALSO fuck the lack of preserving old shit#oh yeah my name is elergy works and I will not tell you that these shaders don’t work for reshade#even though they say they work for reshade#bc I don’t include resource files you need from GSHADE#I cannot be arsed to give people the resource files that they need#it’s the whole saying this will work and then it doesn’t bc god forbid anyone new get into this#AND GET THIS. get this the information about the shaders is like#oh I just use the old files from gshade teehee#here’s a broken link to get those old files#oh whoops it’s all deleted now I guess you’re FUCKED#I could kiss the people who put stuff up on GitHub#it drives me bonkers bc it’s not accessible but also it makes it so easy to lose shit!#it’s so so easy for one broken link to fuck up a whole system#and now you have this broken stuff that no longer exists#but also DISCORD ISNT A FILE HOSTING SERVICE#I WANT PUBLIC FORUMS BACK#there’s so much goddamn shit hidden behind 273738484 discords you have to join#I do understand a lot of the stuff with fourteen is bc of ToS. it’s just the way it is that public forums make for big targets#and no one wants to lose their characters#but goddamn I want public forums back#owen talks
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Bad news lads.... i didn't like the Barbie movie.
I'm gonna rant about my take in the tags please don't send me messages for why I'm wrong this was my personal take away if you don't like it and it makes you mad please just block me.
#my heart is broken#i was so excited so hype i thought i was gonna love it#i thought all the reports being like ''they says they hate men'' were anti feminist reactions#but no this movie is misandrist as fuck#the moral really is ''oh well men rule the real world so women deserve to rule this world and the kens can fuck off and get over it''#when the kens were literally never oppressors#even when they got patriarchy its presented as a disease they caught not as genuinely having power and using it against a vulnerable group#the kens don't get a happy ending the barbies dont have Anything change except one of them is gone now cause she decided she wanted a pussy#barbie spoilers#weird barbie was fun#we didn't get enough of the discontinued barbies#they tried to half ass a conclusion for ken by setting him free of his romantic pining and giving him permission to just be ken but like#he's still homeless#he's still unskilled#he still lives in a world where he isn't accepted anywhere and is hated everywhere just because he's a ken#''actually inequality is good when we do it but we should be kinda nice to them too so they don't try to revolt again i guess''#i really liked the aesthetic i really liked the acting i really really love the inclusion of the real stuff#as in the Barbie things like the outfits by name and the specific barbies from specific lines#this movie was fine if you want to turn your brain off and watch someting pink its great#i did enjoy myself#i will be getting it and watching it again#again please don't send me anything explaining why you disagree#this is only so i could get my thoughts out there so i can hopefully think about them less#but i dont want a discussion people are allowed to disagree
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Okay so bad news... My phone’s lcd is broken... I can’t draw anymore orz... Just as I was figuring out how to draw the comic it decided to die on me dammit!
Is this a sign to continue writing my fics
#aria rants#ive been thinking about how to draw again#like how i plan to proceed with drawing and yk my artstyle#and colouring and all that and i was even able to figure smth out a lil too!#but then my phone went nope and now i have no phone damn...#its lcd got broken before too (mostly my fault i accidentally dropped the thing)#its new lcd was like not rlly compatible#it was the wackiest thing that tested my patience everyday#a single tap results in multiple and a swipe results in single tap#somewhat managed it with the help of a touchscreen repair app#and it got so hot too like it fried the earphone jack at the bottom (couldnt plug an earphone no more after that)#and now the lcd is broken again bruh (partially my fault cuz i pressed a lil too hard on it the fragile thing)#hoping to get it fixed again... hopefully. i need my stuff in it!#in the meantime i guess im stuck with writing for the time being -3-
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Not me suddenly creating an AU in my head about Altan and Lera being broken puppets in a magical shop owned by a wizard named... Sergey, of course. They try to repair each other in secret and find surprising comfort in one another.
#basically a slightly angsty hurt/comfort AU with a happy ending#I could even say that it is more hurt/comfort deep friendship than it is romance#(and I definitely don't have a fic wip in my drafts nooooo how dare you think of that)#I have a lot of ideas about it actually#Altan has a broken eye mechanism and Lera's strings that hold her body together got old and loose so she almost mopes around the shop#Sergey tries to get over his break-up with Oleg by starting an unusual friendship with Igor with whom he plays chess (:D) on weekends#(don't worry Oleg is just on a journey of his own)#Sergey also has a fucked up Pygmalion and Galatea complex with Lera which is... honestly one of the aspects I love writing about?#customers in this AU are also a bliss to encounter#newlywed wizards Balor and Yana definitely go to this shop and Balor definitely has a tense relationship with Sergey#they usually come for some cursed illegal stuff which is fiiiiiine#the Realmwalkers trio also comes in here and usually it's Ksenia (I won't elaborate now but the main thing Sergey sells her is information)#Toma is one of the customers Sergey gets annoyed about but she's actually one of the few people who sees puppets as people#Koroleva scares the shit out of Seryozha which is the reason he sells her everything with a lower price#he's surprisingly polite to Angelina and the Nightingale#(yeah. remember about the Pygmalion and Galatea complex? the answer lies there)#Anton and Rita almost burn the shop to the ground but Sergey befriends them because they're pyromaniacs just like him :D#Yuma is a rare customer but a welcome one. this has things to do with the plot but it's too long to explain.#you should just know that she somehow gets everything for free#so yeah. that's my small au for zlatomaki I guess???#plague doctor
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so true
#anyway I hate yt's absolutely broken shitty search#never actually shows stuff you search for and shoves stuff that isn't even related to the search into it#if you thought that was the worst it could ever be don't worry it's gotten worse and now they have these ai generated topic things now#none of the videos under the topics are ever correct#some of the topics aren't even related - got 'genshin impact lore' for some tgaa searches 👍#so glad I don't care about building an audience anymore since search used to be a really important way to get people to find your stuff#I can't imagine how people starting out get any traction except just praying??? the fickle algorithm on the home page picks you I guess
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i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys
#i rly rly rly appreciate any asks u guys send me truly i usually hold onto then bc i dont know how to respond and rheyre good to see#sometimes#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.#i just get sad a lot. and its my fault i need 2 judt stop it and suck it uo and Work on it all but its so. insurmountable. and it judt#doesnt get easier yk. it never does. whatsver.#but. anyways i am safe i am okif it got to the point i was like. fearful for my life thatd either be The delusion (which is actually good#for me i cant explain it but its good for me) or i coulf talk to my family abt it and theyd help#i just cant talk to them abt This. stuff. the like. the being broken stuff and just not being right#i cant talk to any of them abt that. but if i said hey im genuinely faarful i miggjt do something they would um. help. so its okay#idk. i hope the posts dont seem like i make them for pity i rly dont this blog is just my stream of consciousness#ik i just shouldnt post them and i should judtkeeo a diary but i dont um. how to explain thid#even if nobody sees it it feels better to make a tumblr post bc then it feels like. a performance i guess. its not its real but its like#if i put it somewhere other ppl can see it then that means i exist. thats not quite right but i dont know how to articulate like#i dont nexessarily want ppl to see them i find it embarassing i guess. but it feels dishonest to not post them#since i post everything else. bc i like being open online it makes me think im real. does that make sense#and there are timestamps so i know when things happen. thsts modtly how i remember things#is looking at my blog and checking dates and timestamps. and for older stuff i have to check my dms with ykw. which. is not good for.me at#all. but ihave no other way to remember dayes#i dont know. im rly sry i hate podting vents but i dont like deleting posts eithrr so j dont know oike. idk.#just idk know they arent like. They are serious they are how i feel and i usually make them ehen im in distress#but its not dangerous distress i judt get hopeless. yk? i dont wanr anybody to worry abt me ever im not supposed to be a burden#i dont knoe. i havent articulated anything well. basicallt i dont do rhem for attention i dont do them for like. guilttripping or pity#i dont rly do them for any reason other than irs pure word vomit. i suppose. and tumblr is my wordvomit website. i judt get on here and yap#and it makes me feel so much worse but i get better eventually so its fine.
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hfff
#(warning that this is a vent Um please odnt read it if itll make you upset & sorry for being on your dash uh you can ignore this)#im so scared to Truly talk to anyone right now even though ireally want to and i miss people and ifeel utterly alone .. Sorry#i just. i cant go bakc to being every servers residential burden its so much better for everyone else when i stay away even if it hurts me#and i know im selfish to p ost this stuff and burden people even without being active but i just crave human interaction i guess#and some of this stuff is the closest ive ever gotten to sharing my feelings properly i guess because of the whole. like.#not knowing each other irl thing. i dont have to look someone in the eye after admitting to being near broken beyond repair on here#anywya im sorry i promise im trying so hard its just that everything is so much . im being crushed by the weight of everything#stuff never gets chipped off i just get used to it#im trying rwally har d im trying so hard i feel like the worst friend in existence im just trying to survive right now#all im trying to do id survive yet its the hardest thing ive ever had to do
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(ooc)
I want you all to know that if I had the energy for it. There are so many posts stored in my drafts I long to queue... but neglected to preemptively tag, despite knowing I am Like This....
Anyway, there is a slight chance the queue might run out tomorrow unless I can get more responses in there-- I am,, tired,,
#(<- accidentally took a 3 hour nap instead of continuing to work on art and edits for answers today)#((well. yesterday. semantics.))#there are like. 3 or 4 posts I REALLY want to queue SO SO BADLY from when i was going through older blogs before. but. the source links...#they're all broken... or in the case of one gif- the poster noted that they had no idea who made the gif#and i like to give credit where credit is due. yknow?#((one of them is this little scott and kim interaction and I am like Gripping My Head in Anguish with how I so long to queue it....))#((i need more scott and kim content. not even talking ship stuff you guys please just give me them bickering i will love you forever))#(i mean i do have little things w them i can draw myself. but then I have to do it... so i like it less... /hj)#((i need money in a transferable format. so I can. commission more of them hanging out. this is the solution realistically...))#((*sighs*))#anyway. idk this is probably a false alarm again.. I think the last 3 times I've been like ''oh the queue is gonna run out!'' I've managed +#+to find more posts to cram in there. so watch me eat my fucking words i guess shdjdhdbfnddn#i guess if i wanted I could queue more of my screenshots from SPTO E1.... hm...#(we'll see what happens. although i suppose now is your chance to sound off if you want me to do that)#ooc#txt#actually. additional note. some people have before- but if you ever see a post and you're like ''oh! i haven't seen this here yet'' you are+#+super welcome to send me the post and I'll queue it up. i try to see as much as i can but. we can probably assume which tags i camp out in+#+more.#(also. sometimes stuff just. doesn't show up in the tags/for me. bc this is a hellsite. 😔)#((love this site though. please never die- tumblr-- maybe just. actually get better for once.... *grimacing at Recent/Ongoing Events*))
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So about a week ago I started drawing Sonic stuff again and challenged myself to draw at least one thing every day! Anything counts no matter how small!
I'm indecisive so to help me choose who to draw I made a lil list and each day I roll a random number :3 The only rule is no doubles, if I draw Sonic today I can't draw him again tomorrow!!
#I haven't broken the streak yet!#im about 8 or 9 days in??#AUs and stuff are counted under the character as well#so stuff like Tails Nine or Sails might get drawn if i roll Tails#feel free to use this i guess :3#its just a list#also the reason i sorted them into singles and groups is because... i like some characters better lmao#how am i gonna spend a whole day drawing charmy bee or whatever lmao#even characters i enjoy like gamma. i dont really know what id do for a whole day with him#anyways i hope you arent following for Non Sonic reasons because im on this bullshit for now
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it was pretty fun except i got randomly rly upset and now im still upset. sigh
#i was like sad bc the plan was wed go saturday and have the whole day to do beach. and then they seitched it so we get to fucking Walk#around seattle tmrw. snd see the town from Twilight i guess. oh boy#and then my gran made me get fucking sand for my sibling so i got my work clothes wet#and i have literally no way to wash them. bc the fucking washer is still broken and i have no goddamn clue when hals planning on fixing it#bc i cant talk to him at all. so who knowd. and i cant get to the fucking laundry mat either and basically its all hell#i have other work shirts but theyre both dirty bc i havent been able to wash them for weeks bc hal always did th laundry and stuff. and.#idk. whatever. ill fuckin figure something out#my only pair of work pants got dirty while i was getting the fucking sand i was trying not to get them wet but now theyre wet and sandy and#they already needed washed. but now theyre judt unwearable i have 2 clean them#it wouldnt have fucking happened if they gave me literally any opportunity to change into the fucking swim clothes i brought#but no. they only pointed out that there was a bathroom for me to fucking chabge into AFTER making me go inro the water to get the stupid#fucking sand#we didnt even get to see the fucking tidepools which was literally the inly reason i wanted to go to the fucking beach. we got here at 8pm#bc my gran wanted 2 see the fucking sunset. even tho its high tide rn#and tmrw were seeing the stupid fucking twilight town bc rhey just decided we have to bc its some shit they like#fucking. Thanks guys the visit has RLY been fun. idk#ik im being bitchy im just like. i feel awful now
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