#so i gotta stop haha

[messedupessy]

Ok so I finished Dawntrail a couple of days ago, and I got so many thoughts about it, things about it I loved, things I didn't vibe with, thoughts of what I both hope and fear will happen next, so prepare for a ramble as this will prolly get long xD MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR DAWNTRAIL DOWN BELOW!!!

Where do I even begin? I got so many throughts about literally everything it's hard to decide where to start, but think I will start with what I loved with this expansion overall and then go from there:

The graphic update is so good, everything looks so nice, the new zones and towns are amazing, all the zone music and music overall this expansion is a fucking banger there is no music I dislike which is amazing, the dungeons and trials, except for the last two for me, was so good, fun mechanics and bosses that is harder but not impossible! Most of the characters were so good and interesting and I loved to get to know them all!

But one issue I had with the expansion as a whole and not just the second half of it, where pretty much all my issues are tbh, is that the voices or rather the voice deliveries this expansion was really weird for the english voices, it felt like the voice direction or the mixing was very off and every character was affected. Like there were several moments Graha or any of the other scions spoke and I got all ??? that's not how you usually sound like what is going on?? And then there is Wuk Lamat, love her voice af, but there were many moments where I felt she just needed to push a bit more especially in emotional moments, her crying is fine but when she needed to get loud and yell it just didn't work, but I feel it's more because of the voice direction and mixing than the actual voice actor. And she isn't the only one though and this has been a issue I feel since the patches for Endwalker, something is really off!

And not to mention that the translation and subtitles are very off, they gotten so very bad since the patches, as my older sister plays in japanese but with english subtitles, and she understands japanese well enough to notice when the characters says more than is subtitled which really sucks. And there was allot of that in the patches, an example when Zero says to thank everyone she says their names in japanese but not in english, and there were moments here in Dawntrail that happened too, don't remember them atm tho since it was a bit since me and my sis talked about it, which sucks, feels like we who play in english are missing out on things all because things just isn't translated properly.

Then there is the msq, I absolutely adored everything until lvl 95 after the first story was done where we crowned Wuk Lamat dawnservant etc, mostly everything between 90-95 was perfect to me, great pacing, great characters, fun bosses and dungeons. The small critiques I got is that we barely spent time at the moblins they didn't even get any voice scenes, and that I wish the like rivalry we were meant to have with Thancred and Urianger thanks to them working for and supporting Koana instead of Wuk Lamat could been stronger. I would had loved a instance of us maybe fighting or just something more there.

And then there is the whole trading part with the Pelopelo, forgot their names the small duck faced ppl, where you are meant to trade things up for more expensive stuff, loved it love the UI they had for it and so on but wish they could gone a bit further with it, like they could have let us fail properly and mess up for example, that if we choose wrong here and there we would been forced to start over at a certain point, just something more there and it would been perfect!

But those are the only things I had issue with when it comes to the first part of the expansion, now to the second where most of my grievances lies and also my fears for what will come next:

First of shiiooni the cowboy place, the story there was truly what you call filler, which I get we can't always have something high stakes thing happening, not always needed either and things was brewing in the background, but I wish there had been more to the story there just it was very bland, something more could have happened there and instead it feels a bit like a waste of a zone even though I like the zone itself very much! Just something more happening in that zone could been really good but no we got like nothing. Connected shitall with the characters there except for our reflection versions of the trolley people they made me so darn happy!

Then the attack at the city happened, wonderfully fucked up but why did they have to kill off Guloo Ja Ja?? Think that's how you spell his name, but Papa simply I love him he was and still is one of my fave characters from this whole expansion, and it feels they went with the way too easy route to just let him get killed for drama, it always happens with fathers who are done and give away their position but i am so tired of it he could just gotten really hurt instead it would done pretty much the same give or take, you don't need to kill off someones dad to give them motivation to kill their own brother for doing so! He had already butchered a bunch of the towns people Wuk lamat did not need more motivation to go for it, and if he just needed to be put out of comission so he wouldn't solve shit too quickly then just hurt him a bit and shit would been fine, it just sucks and while the death scene was good it just frustrates me, let the parents live for once!!

But anyway then there is the dome, 30 years passing etc, loved that whole thing wonderfully messed up but here we meet the sole character that ruined the ending for me personally, Spherne or however her name is spelled. The idea of her and her story is great, but the execution of her character did not work for me at all, and it could been easily fixed if at the end of her instead repeating the same old "sorry for killing your ppl" she could had tried to tell something about herself but maybe failing etc, just said something to give her more character than "I love my people above everything else and I will kill anyone who harms them and I will keep them alive even if it means killing others", that was her whole personality there was nothing else there and it could been fixed so easily by her just admitting to it? If that makes sense? She was just so very bland and could been so much more and I get it she is just the memory of a person long dead but just give me something more, and then there is her design it is so bad if they just pulled back a smidge it would been fine!

After meeting her I feel the rest of the msq ends up so rushed, which like technically makes sense since we in a hurry to stop zorol ja think it was spelled mister first promise boy, but it made it so for me at least, that I didn't get a chance to connect with the new characters properly, didn't get to know the new villain at all, which could been on purpose since wuk lamat and sperne is kind of opposites, but it just didn't work which makes me so frustrated because it could worked so well!

And not to mention, a thing I didn't think of until my big sis mentioned it and how frustrated she was about it, is the whole electric sickness happening there! We have a cure for it we can fix that but there was no mention of it or anything where we could go oh hey we have a cure for this since its the whole thing from the first and tempering we could gotten Aisaie summon Angelo and help the sick boy but no, nothing! This better get mentioned/fixed in the future story patches or I will go insane!

Fuck we could had brought it up to Spherne and made her situtation more complicated but no!

And then there is Otis, I loved that guy but he was instantly taken away and killed we got no time so spend with him except for in the Living Memory later on but that wasn't truly him and it just sucks, wish he had been around longer and things didn't get so fucking rushed here!

Loved the trial for Zorol ja tho it was great, loved how it subtly explained why he was how he was, and while I would had loved having more of it outside the trial before we killed him etc it still worked out and made sense, love his son so much he is so good and I adore that blue baby! But I want to know who his birth mother is, who the fuck is Zorol ja's birth mother?? How was he born even though it is said two headed maamol ja can't have kids? Or is it just so darn rare he just ended up been the first ever? Game please explain gkejngke!!

But then comes Spherne and fucks shit up, which would work if her whole character wasn't as bland as a wet salty cracker! The whole of Living Memory was amazing i cried so much, the zone is amazing the music the progress of it was great, the whole message of everyone dies and life goes on hitting me way too hard.

But then there is the dungeon and Sphernes trial, the fights etc is fine and the visuals great, but thanks to her constant talking in the dungeon and its her we fight it just it's just so meh, she needed something more and now she will be part of Wuk Lamat's story forever and it sucks! Also I am still irritated that she kept calling Wuk lamat by her family nickname like please that was so rude, but I also get why Wuk lamat didn't protest proepr but still! It would been more interesting if like wuk lamat was like no u can't call me that and spherne been apologetic etc, and then later at the end wuk lamat lets her call her by that, just something!

Ok so rant over there but now we get to what my hopes and fears are for the future story, as now we got a fucking mguffin that can open portals to other reflections! Which we luckily know shit about except Kriles people had it but that's all luckily since they didn't know shit about it either, and I hope it stays that way for at least another expansion as it feels we are rushing the whole "find a way to other reflections" bit way too much, it already felt a bit rushed in the endwalker patches, but now we got a mcguffin and I am worried about it!

As while I want to visit other reflections, be able to visit the first with the scions again etc, I don't want to do that just yet! There been too much of reflection stuff in the story, I want a break from that and focus on other parts of the world we haven't been to, like Mercedia, Graha's home land, the Roegadyn homeland etc, I want to wait and let Y'sthola work more on finding a way, as I fear this mcguffin will make things way too easy and solve this whole thing, I want the story to wait, let us do other shit while this storyline can be like in the background a bit, and not the focus! And then it can blow up and be the focus again! I feel we need a break from it and I fear this will be the focus of the patches that is going to come.

After all the best part of the msq for me was when we just enjoyed ourselves in the new world and places we got to explore, where there was no mention except some smaller references and the reflections was not in the focus. I just want a break from it let it brew and stop rushing it!

But I am hopeful that this is something that will take awhile, since we literally have no clue what or where the mcguffin even came from or what it is, so I hope this will mean that it will take awhile, and that we can focus on other things like the electric sickness in solution 9 and their whole messing with souls there! I want clarification on if Alexandria etc is from the reflection from the second umbral calamity or not, as the hints are there as it would make sense, but I do not want to focus on traveling to any reflections for now. I want to explore other things so badly get to do new things and not reflection stuff please.

The only exception to any reflection focus is if something gets fucked up and the WoL gets sent to a reflection alone, with no one there to help us while the scions etc tries to find and contact us, that is the only reflection story I will be ok with getting at the moment as I want things to go wrong more and not feel as easy as it feels currently when it comes to travelling to the reflections!

Ok so think I have gotten out all that I wanted to say, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes but I can't be bothered to fix shit, thanks for coming to my ted talk and feel free to chime in with your own thoughts and so on would love to chat or clear up any misunderstandings, as I know I am not the best at explaining stuff at times xD

[wonderthor]

being whiny and needy with choso

you were the one that woke up extremely horny and touched starved (this time), but being the sweetie pie that he is he let you ride him until you come.

but you can’t.

you’re whining and whimpering because you just can’t get there yet. speeding up, slowing down, moving your hips in so many different ways. none of it is working, but you need to come so bad!

“baby”, he calls out to you, and you look at him with a hint of frustrated tears in your eyes.

“baby, shh just relax for me okay? i got you, let me take care of it, yeah?”, he whispers as he cradles your cheek in his hand.

as soon as you nod, he grips your hips and lifts you up and down on his cock, rolling your hips back and forth in a way that instantly makes your mouth open wide and your head fall back. you brace yourself on his pecs and he momentarily takes one of his hands off of your hips, his other holding a tighter grip to compensate. you look down at him and see that he uses his free hand to pick up one of yours, kissing your palm with his eyes locked on you. then, he holds your hand as he picks up his pace.

your mind was empty as your eyes stayed on his, knowing nothing else but him. you barely were able to think about how strong he was to be able to pick you up and down over and over with only one hand. your orgasm had crept up on you without you even paying attention.

“cho, i’m…it-”

“i know baby, i know. give it to me, please?”

he kisses your knuckles before putting his hand back on your hip, fucking up into you and he pulls you up and down against him. you arch your back and burrow your nails into his chest, holding on tight. your eyes leaving his trance and going back into your skull.

“ohhh fuck!”

he lets one of his thumbs trail over to your clit, rubbing hard and fast.

“that’s it, that’s it baby. please, please give it to me. give it to me, give it to me,” he growled out through clenched teeth.

just that quickly, the coil snapped and you came all over his dick with a loud moan. the intensity of your orgasm spurred his and he came right behind you, filling you up. when you were tired of holding yourself up, he pulled you down to lay on his chest, rubbing your back as your breaths slowly calmed down in harmony.

it was just like that how you both fell asleep.

[keferon]

*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*

Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.

You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah

I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender

…..I made the moodboard….

[crybabyfucktoy]

my job should be having my holes used

[gi-nathlam-hi]

"We just want messy and complex female characters! Let them be freaks!" you guys couldn't even handle Galadriel in Rings of Power

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Thank you to everyone supporting the “it’s a body suit but it’s the angel equivalent of nude colored” agenda.

You understood the assignment. Best of both worlds.

[conkreetmonkey]

i completely forgot whether i actually sent these to you so my apolocheese if you're getting jumpscared by these again,.,,, Conky featured in random daily doodles

"I'd never kill you Buggsy! Why would I do that? We're friends!"

"You're so silly, Bug. These are going on the fridge!"

*sticks your drawings on my disgusting rusty refrigerator with letter magnets, a B and a C to represent our friendship*

*moves in for a hug, reeking of something between burnt hair and blue chemical toilet, various foul oozes smeared across my body*

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

[keii]

Morning after Yoosung's bday 🤭

[redgearsmovin]

Rich: And who knows, there might even be a prince waiting for ya.

Dave: (giggles)

[jrueships]

WHOEVER THE FUCK IS RECOMMENDING MED PPL TO GO INTO RADIOLOGY JUST CUS IF THE MONEY, IM GONNA FUCKING gET YOU

[spaceratprodigy]

Send 🌳 for our muses to admire the fall foliage together - for Rhea and Faith if thats ok?

@captastra — [ autumnal prompts ]

So delighted to finally draw Faith and Rhea for the first time!! I can't wait to work on all of our other ideas as well 💖💕

[monstersinthecosmos]

As a fellow Marius lover, I always find it kind of disheartening how most of the content/fandom talk about him (meta, fic, fanart, etc.) revolves around m/m ships (Marius/Armand in particular but I’d even go as far to include Marius/Daniel here) when, in my opinion, Marius is like the one male character in the VC universe whose relationships with women are far more interesting than his relationships with other men (the only other character might be Lestat but even then it’s pretty 50/50). They’re so monumental and so full of complexities and pain and so much love and they define him and inform his character in ways that I think, his relationships with men simply do not. Interesting/hot under the right circumstances? Sure but like ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS MAN??? AND HOW HE RELATES TO WOMEN??? It’s one of the best things Anne ever wrote and I can never get enough of it and it makes me sad how little content there is of it and I feel I can never say this out loud because I would never want to make people feel bad about what they ship (truly not my intention here) but ugh SO MUCH potential there for life changing discourse and meta about Marius and the women he’s loved and lost and have shaped who he is and there’s like… nothing.

Tl;dr the reason I’m sending this ask is because I’m a firm believer that you must be the change you want to see in this world and because YOU get it! And every time you post or write about Marius/Pandora (or Marius/Akasha! Or talk about Marius/Bianca) an angel gets its (black) wings. You are seen, you are loved and appreciated tysm <3

OKAY FIRST OF ALL THIS WAS SUCH A DELIGHT TO GET IN MY INBOX, SECOND IM GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST AND ADMIT I FEEL TOO INCOHERENT TO TACKLE THIS TOPIC HAHA. I don’t feel articulate enough to do it justice. And I don’t say that to be obnoxious and self deprecating but like in all honesty idk how to synthesize it neatly but I think you’re sharing some GREAT IDEAS. 

I have to say this in bullet points because I don’t feel equipped to string this into a cohesive post:

Marius was based on Anne’s husband, and Marius/Pandora was based on their marriage!!!!! And I think it explains a lot about why their relationship feels so fuckin POTENT to me, like it’s so genuine!!!!!!! And like knowing that I think it makes sense why she wrote him so HOT lol. Like she’s just writing thirsty stuff about her husband right? LOL

Also like insofar as there’s a lot of genderfluidity in VC there’s also something vaguely misogynist about it at times. And Anne Rice was a mega feminist and her work had so much womens lib in it!!!!! So I don’t think it’s intended as misogyny at all vs. Anne having conversations about gender and maybe her own relationship to gender. I think enough characters have said vaguely misogynist stuff that it makes me think it’s an Anne Problem vs being Watsonian. (This is also a historical/time period issue and we can discuss another time if and when vampires are supposed to break out of that when they transcend humanity and social constructs even when they’re still saying weird sexist shit at their big ages.) But I say that to say all VC characters are a tad sexist, even if perhaps she was writing with the intention of her own male power fantasy/male superiority/penis envy. AND THAT MAKES MARIUS VERY INTERESTING. 

Cause like really the three main ladies in his life (Akasha, Pandora, Bianca) DO define him so much! And we don’t see him pine for Armand the way he did for any of them! Why!!!

Like there’s that aspect of sexism where women can be infantilized by men who don’t think they’re being unkind and it makes me wonder, especially when the author is a boomer, like where is that line between condescension and respect? I don’t have an answer here, this is too big-brained for me LOL but like he is SO devoted to the women in his life and I just wonder like if he sees them as creatures unlike himself, you know? 

This is headcanon territory but I bet he’s such a fucking sub to Pandora lol and it just thrills me that he spent 2000 years begging Akasha for affection and she ignored him the whole damn time wow. And he continued to simp!

AND ALSO LIKE, I think people DO NOT DISCUSS THIS OFTEN ENOUGH, but did we forget that he chose Armand because he needed a Bianca rebound? He was absolutely TORTURED by his love for Bianca and picked Armand because he didn’t want to kill her oh my god. Oh my god!!! HE KEPT HER LETTER IN HIS POCKET OVER HIS HEART OKAY??? HE DIDN’T WANT TO DRAG HER INTO HIS COLD AND FATAL DOMAIN????? Fuck lol

It’s so fucked up that he didn’t go after Armand but spent like actual fucking millennia trying to find Pandora. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHERE ARMAND WAS AND LEFT HIM THERE LOL BUT PANDORA HAUNTED HIM EVERY NIGHT OF HIS LIFE FOR CENTURIES.

After everything he wound up spending like 200 years with Bianca or something and ?????? CORRECT because Bianca was the fledgling he actually wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it’s odd, I know I’ve said this 337589235 times, but Marius like. Has an idea of the person he wants to be and he tries SO HARD to live by logic & reason and he just can’t reconcile with the fact that he has EMOTIONS. And so like part of the person he wants to be like, open/empathetic/wise and he begs his lovers/students/fledglings to CHALLENGE HIM when he’s not actually healed enough to be challenged? And to me there’s something kinda like, extra spicy about it when you’re in Rice World and you’re a lil sexist; how much that burns EXTRA when it’s Pandora or Bianca sticking up to you or AKASHA FUCKIN IGNORING YOU. 

Just really incredible that this person who is like the epitome of a patriarch has such fucked up relationships with all the women in his life. And like he underestimates these women, like the way he tries to manipulate Bianca and she leaves him! PANDORA AND AKASHA ARE UNAVAILABLE TO HIM AND BIANCA FUCKIN LEAVES.

akasSHA JUST IGNROING HIM!! JUST STRAIGHT UP FUCKIN IGNORING HIM FOR 2,000 YEARS!!!! HE'S OBSESSED WITH HER!

Anyway Enkil is ignoring him too but he doesn’t give a shit about that guy tbh lol 

Also the amount of space he gives Eudoxia and Zenobia in his book like there’s more here too but tbh it’s midnight and I can’t start unpacking. I just think like, in 2000 years it’s interesting how Eudoxia wound up having such a lasting impact on his life. 

I did just peek at the Eudoxia part and I’m dying, he goes “Her face was small, oval, and as close to perfection as anything I've ever beheld, even though she bore no resemblance to Pandora who was for me perfection itself.” CERTIFIED WIFE GUY.

What kinda mommy issues are we dealing with here? HIS MOTHER WAS A SLAVE THAT DIED IN CHILDBIRTH AND HE INHERITED HER GENES AND LOOKED LIKE HER AND DIDN’T LOOK LIKE HIS FATHER & BROTHERS? AND HE’S SORT OF AN OUTCAST AS A HUMAN LIKE ? THE STIGMA HERE? AND THEN HE SPENDS 2000 YEARS WORSHIPPING HIS NEW MOTHER??? PERHAPS YOU COULD SAY ENSLAVED TO HER? IDK MAN. 

IS THIS ALSO WHY HE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH LOSING PANDORA?

The irony too, and something I think a lot of people miss, is that he DIDN’T WANT TO MARRY PANDORA LOL. He wanted to be betrothed to a child so that he could FUCK OFF and NOT get married because she wasn’t old enough to get married! He fucked off! He went exploring! He said this is not for me! 

AND TO GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND BE MURDERED BY HIS MOTHERS PEOPLE???? IDK. 

I’m not sure how these last two points tie into anything but I just wanted to mention his complicated relationship with Pandora and his own heritage lol. And then Akasha like DELIVERS Pandora to him because she’s like “wow this guy needs somebody lol and I am not emotionally available” — Akasha who was famously a violent genocidal radfem and who would not approve of his relationship with Armand but explicitly allowed him to have Pandora and Bianca. IDK WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN! 

Did Akasha approve of these women because she knew Marius was completely pussywhipped and would worship them and she wanted to see someone mommydom the fuck out of him and she knew that Armand would never be that person? 🫢

And again I want to say like, taking the author into consideration!! Anne Rice had a HORRIFIC relationship with her mom so you see these themes pop up occasionally in her work. DESPITE ALL OF THAT SHE IS STILL A FEMINIST AND WRITES ABOUT MATRILINEAR FAMILIES like The Great Family or the Mayfairs. But thinking about Mothers in Anne Rice Works makes me think a lot about this like, the damage they can do and the voids they can leave even when you’re a feminist and love women! You see a TON of this with Gabrielle and I always think that Lestat & Marius are such similar characters that you can do a lot of extrapolating or backwards engineering to ask questions about them and how they work, since we get SO MUCH Lestat POV in this series to work with and how we can zoom out sometimes and ask like, what is common across her entire body of work and what is more specifically common between Lestat & Marius and WHAT EVEN MORE INTERESTINGLY is a result that they were both based on her husband in their inceptions. 

Like how much of this has to do with Marius’s actual feelings towards men vs women on purpose, or how much was subconscious author bias, how much was simply that Anne Rice based him on her husband and she was THIRSTY, idk. It’s always hard to say in VC because Anne was such an intuitive and self-indulgent author and the stories are so weird!!! So your mileage may vary!

But I agree with you that these are FASCINATING relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I like Marius/Armand too (I recently made a post about how I didn’t “””””ship”””” them but then I spent 2 months working on a M/A fic every day and now I think I’ve corrupted and converted myself LMAO) but yeah like. There’s such a lack of substance between them in the end. He treats Armand like he’s temporary, fucks up and moves on, and it’s such a departure from how DEVOTED he was with all his other partners. 

Wow I didn’t think I had a lot to say, sorry about that. !!! EVERY TIME I BROUGHT A POINT UP I THOUGHT OF 5 MORE POINTS GOSH I COULD TALK ABOUT MARIUS ALL DAY.

[ckcomics]

The City Imp & the Country Imp

[sysig]

Growing closer than expected (Patreon)

[babacontainsmultitudes]

The world will never get to see the goofy silly Lark/Terry "I Don't Dance" (from High School Musical) animatic that plays out in my head on loop. Tragic 😔.