#so i don't think she is villain but she is not without a fault in regard to social segregation

[satoshy12]

It all started when Dani was known as a villain who fought against the Young Justice and Teen Titans, and Danny learned about it.

Let's say he wasn't happy and made his way to the Justice League reporting station to report the error.

So while there, Danny has a massive argument about why Dani isn't a villain, but the Young Justice and Teen Titans are the villains.

And showed a PowerPoint presentation about why Dani can't be a villain.

1 She is adorable.

2 She is my baby girl.

3 She can't do wrong.

4 She is a good girl.

5 Just look at these pictures of her!

And Danny did then go from her eating all her vegetables to wearing her home knit sweaters, sleeping during the day and when she is told, always brushing her teeth on time 3 times a day, and reading the books she is giving in school without arguing about pictures!

It ended up with Batman sitting down with Danny after Flash brought both coffee and saying. "He knows how Danny is feeling; the people don't understand that his son, Red Hood, is just misunderstood, not a villain."

Danny then said, " But where did I do wrong? I was a hero before I retired; was it because I date a retired villain?"

Danny had been dating Blackfire for a long time. He saved her after she had fallen to Amity Park, and she is pretty good at taking care of the house and loves the engagement ring. Komand'r Fenton fully retired as villain or alien princess. 

Batman:" I did the same, but I don't think it's that fault. My others are heroes."

A/N

Dani's villain costume is based on Danny's and Blackfire's costumes.

[bonefall]

Mapleshade Discourse O'Clock

It's that time again!!! SO I just kinda want to jot down all of my various thoughts about it as a story and just generally weigh in about Mapleshade.

I like the idea of Mapleshade more than the actual Mapleshade that is used throughout the books.

She has a really good gimmick-- to haunt Applekin though the generations. I don't like how they turn her into a generic "cat satan" for Tigerclaw's Fury and keep making her appear as a vain lackey demon.

I like her characterization in Mapleshade's Vengeance the most, of all her appearances.

But, I don't think my reading of the character depicted in MV is what the author intended.

See, I like MV as a story with no hero. The only blameless characters are the kittens who drowned and Perchpaw, while everyone else is some flavor of selfish, cruel, or vengeful. Everyone thinks they're in the right, but no one truly wins in the end.

Nothing about it was noble. Every tragedy that happened was utterly avoidable. In the end, everyone bears some responsibility for the pain and suffering that happened the day those children drowned.

BUT I'm pretty certain that the intended reading was that Mapleshade would be the one clearly in the wrong the whole time, as she justifies her own actions like a villain does.

Especially knowing how poorly the writers thought of similar female characters like Squilf and Leafp lying about the three, or Nightcloud being jealous her crummy husband is acting strange around another woman.

I feel justified in assuming that when Mapleshade is not happy she's being cheated on, or when she refuses to correct Frecklewish's record knowing it's unsafe if her kits are revealed as half clan, the writer really does think you're not supposed to take her side.

Because women should just not have emotions about being cheated on or something, and lying is unspeakably bad even if the truth puts you and your children in danger.

But. Y'know. We can all use the braincell for a moment and see that this is fucking stupid

SO when the book goes on to have Mapleshade ignore all the warnings about the swollen river, show both ThunderClan and RiverClan being obscenely cruel to her, and then walk across that bridge while insisting in her head that the deaths weren't her fault, I think the implication is obvious AND SHITTY.

Ergo I reject it completely. I can see what the book wants to say, and I think it says something trashy.

In spite of how badly the writer wants it to be Mapleshade's fault the kittens died, I say it was the asshole who threw a bunch of kittens out into the rain for being mixed race, actually.

Oakstar had the power here. Ravenwing had some power as well, but he makes it clear it wasn't his suggestion to throw the babies out into the woods.

And when it comes to Bridge Discourse, it was at least the afternoon, raining heavily, and Mapleshade was trying to get to RiverClan Camp. A straight shot across the stepping stones.

I think it is ridiculous to imagine an extremely emotional parent managing three very scared children, attempting to get out of the rain and dangerous wilderness before nightfall, would be rational enough to realize a large detour would be safer.

MAYBE the distance from ThunderClan Camp to the Bridge is equal to the distance to the Stones. But the distance between the bridge and RIVERCLAN Camp is longer.

I hope this goes without saying; but Frecklewish didn't deserve the Dark Forest.

Even in Banana World logic where she was sitting on the bank watching those kids doggy-paddle. Do not fucking jump in to save drowning people if you are not trained to do that.

I'm dead serious, this is the first thing you learn in any kind of water safety course. They WILL panic, you WILL get dragged down, you WILL become another liability someone else has to save instead of helping your initial target.

And that isn't even mentioning this being a flooded river. That's POOL safety.

In spite of how I think Mapleshade was right to lie, I do think Frecklewish being that upset and angry was understandable.

You're entitled to your feelings, but not how you treat people. She still attacked Mapleshade and called the kittens a slur.

That's what makes her interesting, though.

I don't think she deserves the Dark Forest, but Frecklewish's anger is an interesting trait. I don't like how a lot of defensive interpretations of her character end up downplaying how she acted at the exile

why does a woman being rightfully angry suddenly strike people as "unsympathetic." Girls can also say things in fury they don't fully mean. OR girls can rationalize their unjustified, ballistic response post-hoc out of pride.

Idk let girls be mad. Admit they were wrong without deserving HELL. I don't like the woobification impulse.

It's not really a hot take anymore I think, but Frecklewish is definitely only in the DF because the writing team judges women characters more harshly. Oakstar threw babies out in the rain in fury, and Ravenwing didn't stop it. But somehow only Frecklewish, a normal warrior, gets DF'd.

But what really rattles around in my head about the whole story is the way that the in-universe culture is able to suddenly value ethics like peace, forgiveness, and tolerance when MAPLESHADE is ready to throw those things out, but BEFORE then, it's well established that Clan culture is violent, vengeful, and intolerant.

One of our earliest scenes is Rainfall snarling at Mapleshade that he loves the way Birchface and Flowerpaw drowned. He's threatening that he'll kill even more ThunderClan warriors.

Over in ThunderClan, everyone is itching for revenge against Appledusk for those deaths, even though it seems to have been an accident. Oakstar even hates RiverClan well into sequel books for this.

But then later on, everyone acts Shocked Pikachu that Mapleshade actually went and GOT revenge.

And like, let's be real. This is a battle culture. Yes, by OUR standards Revenge Is Bad.

But in these books, so full of war and clan conflict...?

What I'm saying is that I wish the books let Mapleshade be a little more "controversial" in-universe. Like some cats actually frame the story very differently, and you can learn a lot about a person by who they think the hero is.

And how RiverClan responds to the drowned kids bugs me a lot tbh

We just established over in ThunderClan that there are people who think the babies were born filthy for being HalfClan.

We know everyone there stood by and watched as Oakstar threw them out into the rain-- only Ravenwing even seemed uncomfortable.

AND we know very well that in a few generations, TigerClan will rise. Which openly executed a HalfClan cat and wanted to kill 2 apprentices.

We KNOW the bigotry in Clan culture is deadly and unfair.

But then they go over to RiverClan and Darkstar is sad these three kids are dead? And RC is furious with Mapleshade for that?

Again, YES, you and me with OUR morals know that this bigotry is insane and spiteful. What I'm getting at is that IN-UNIVERSE half clan kittens and their parents face extreme discrimination. Even within this book.

It's odd to me that Darkstar refuses to let Mapleshade bury their bodies, sends her away for the death of the kids while saying it's "not the season for losing warriors" to Appledusk, and it's meant to come across as delusional that Maple thinks her babies were buried dishonorably

I wish more women in WC got so pissed off at the absolute injustice of it all that they went on a girl rampage. Perhaps it's my own taste, but I like it a lot more when the villain isn't entirely wrong and there's several angles you can read the story from. If she didn't do what she did, she would have been the only one who saw any consequences for anything that happened.

Anyway in conclusion uhhh idk murder is wrong. But Mapleshade's allowed to do it because she's a silly billy. Her greatest crime was not killing Oakstar also

[lacrimosathedark]

As a big time Radioapple shipper, I would love it if Radioapple writers didn't like, bash Lilith?

I've seen a handful of writers make Lilith downright abusive. Saying Lucifer's ducks are ridiculous, that his dreams are outlandish, even going so far as to say he's useless or pathetic. This is often used to highlight the difference between Lilith and Alastor when Alastor is shockingly understanding, as if Lilith wouldn't be and is portrayed as and ice queen. Which is nothing like what little we know of her.

The intro says she inspired demonkind. In the pilot, there are posters of her encouraging Sinners to resist against the Exterminations. Charlie is so sure that Lilith would support her hotel. The paintings in Lucifer's office show a loving, happy family.

People who love each other can grow apart without either being outright abusive.

Lucifer's Fall came with a great deal of despair, exacerbated by the cruelty he saw in Sinners. His depression was in direct opposition to Lilith's hopes.

And then there's his AuDHD, which probably leads to him focusing on one thing or another and losing track of time, time he could be spending with his family. Not like he means to be away, it just happens.

And of course he's so socially awkward and Lilith is inspirational, so any "royal duties" probably fell on Lilith's shoulders rather than Lucifer's.

That's a lot of strain on the relationship without either one being particularly cruel or at fault. Just drifting apart.

It's possible Lilith kept Charlie from Lucifer when they split, but there's so many reasons she could have done that. If he got focused on something, he might not pay enough attention to her and she get hurt for example. There's also the possibility of anything Lilith was doing behind Lucifer's back to help Hell have something to do with Charlie.

And Lucifer is still wearing his ring, keeps up family portraits as a reminder. If there was any resentment for her at all, he could have covered up Lilith. We've seen Blitzø scribble out his own face in photographs and scribbled over Verosika on his calendar, and Stolas cover all portraits and revealing only Octavia. It's not out of the realm of possibility. But he didn't and he keeps that reminder of her with him.

And while very much not canon, I've seen Viv like fanart of Lucifer showing his ducks to Lilith and her loving them. Lucifer is adorable and do you think he was any LESS silly before his hopes were shattered? No! If anything, he was probably SILLIER when she fell in love with him. All that creative power and imagination, only scolding to dampen his sparkle, and not scolding from Lilith. He would tell her all about his funny ideas and would she have married him if she didn't love that about him?

Lucifer and Lilith were very much in love at first. The only hint we have that Lilith is actually a horrible person is that the person that is presumably her made some deal with Adam and has been chilling somewhere outside of Hell for the last seven years without telling her daughter anything at all. Which there could be so many reasons for.

And that dark look she gave to Lute doesn't have to be her being annoyed at having to go back to Hell to her family. Lute is a bitch, and also just called Lilith's daughter a bitch. Like...do you expect her to smile at her??? Lute sucks. (for the record, I hate her as a character, which I think means she's a good character. And her voice is AMAZING and I need to hear her sing more after You Didn't Know because WOW)

All that is to say, a separation doesn't have to be from abuse and it can still be hard to move on. AND you don't have to hate your ex to move on to dating someone else.

You don't need to villainize Lilith to make Alastor look good. Part of Alastor's appeal is that he's a complex contradictory bastard. If you want his behavior compared to something to make him look good, use his past actions. If he's getting kinder, sweeter, more understanding, his old antagonism would contrast it. And if you want to use someone else, Adam's right there! And he SUCKS! (I like him as a character tho, he's hilarious)

I don't like shipping Lucifer with Adam, but I know some people do, and I also like the idea that they were friends before everything fell apart. But Adam is all the negative things Alastor is not.

Both of them are prideful, but so is Lucifer. And Alastor generally wields his pride with grace while Adam never shuts the fuck up about himself.

Adam clearly has little to no respect for women, just by how he treats Lilith and Vaggie and even Charlie. Alastor holds women in high regard, and most of the people he seems to have actual relationships with are women, Niffty, Rosie, Mimzy, and even Charlie.

Adam is always talking about sex and bragging about how much he fucks, and says that Charlie and Vaggie's relationship is "hot as fuck" which, ew. Alastor, meanwhile, is (obliviously) asexual, has a general disregard for sexuality, and open disdain for hypersexuality.

Adam is very openly uncouth and brash and rude and constantly swearing. Alastor is vicious, but he is charming and genteel all the while, and swears a whole of three four times in season one. First, the "Fuck you" to Lucifer in Episode Five (it took him that long to swear ONCE), and then twice in Episode Eight, once when first letting loose in his fight against Adam, and second when he was stunned right before getting wounded (edit addition: and also once in Episode Seven when he called Susan an "ornery old bitch" and I have NO IDEA how I forgot that). Adam drops cunt in the first episode.

Adam is also an open book where Alastor is a puzzle hidden behind a smile.

If you wanna compare Alastor, or anyone else you'd ship Lucifer with, to someone he might have been close to from all the way back in Eden times, Lilith isn't the only option there.

Let Lilith say one word before you decide she's evil, yeah?

[wisebeth]

“Sakura is toxic because she made fun of Naruto for being an orphan–”

She regretted it the second after Sasuke rightfully called her out and even opened a therapy center for war orphans.

Ino fatshamed Choji, Shikamaru was a misogynist, Neji misplaced his anger at Hinata, but no one ever calls them out. They were all kids, they all made mistakes.

“Sakura is abusive because she constantly punches Naruto–”

She only hit him in the manga when he did something perverted or disrespectful, it was heavily exaggerated in the anime.

It's called slap stick comedy. If you think it's aBuSiVe, I hope you have the same energy for Jiraiya who peeked at the women's bathroom without consent and gets brushed off as ‘comedic purpose’, double standards much?

“She has Stockholm Syndrome because she loved Sasuke after he tried to kill her–”

They're shinobis. Unlike our real world, it's the norm there to fight each other to death and then make up. Don't get it mixed up.

Naruto forgave every single villain in the series, including Pain who killed his master and destroyed his village. Obito, who killed his parents, started a war, was the reason for the deaths of countless people such as Neji, and Shikamaru & Ino's fathers, formed a terrorist organisation (which was responsible for multiple war crimes) yet no one bats an eye. Lee forgave Gaara who attempted to kill him, Hinata forgave Neji who tried to kill her for something which wasn't her fault. It's the norm there, deal with it.

Sasuke also tried to kill Naruto, Kakashi & Karin and they all forgave him but for some reason only Sakura gets shit for it? Double standards again.

“Sakura is a bitch who loves Sasuke and ignores Naruto who loves her–”

Sakura cares for Naruto, as a friend and her teammate. She's not obligated to return her feelings if she doesn't want to. Naruto doesn't ‘love’ her. He had a childhood crush on her, and it used to be mentioned less frequently than in the anime. SP exaggerated his feelings.

Kakashi didn't return Rin's feelings. Sasuke didn't return Ino, Karin and Sakura's feelings (until ch. 699 in Sakura's case). Naruto didn't return Hinata's feelings until The Last. Tsunade didn't like Jiraiya back. Then why is Sakura hated for something so ridiculous? She's allowed to make her own choices.

“She is shallow, she only liked Sasuke for his looks–”

If her feelings for Sasuke truly were shallow, she'd have moved on after he left the village, she'd have moved on after he became a criminal, like Ino did. She saw Sasuke at his worst and still chose him with all his flaws.

A ‘shallow crush’ wouldn't last for so many years. If her feelings weren't strong or deep, Sasuke wouldn't choose her in the end. If her feelings were superficial she wouldn't risk her life to save him against Gaara. If she didn't love him, she'd not be able to stop his curse mark. If they were superficial, she'd have moved on to date some other handsome man instead of crying over Sasuke.

“Sakura is useless as a main character–”

That's not her fault. That's a criticism for the author. None of the female characters in the series have as much complexity, fight scenes or power as the male characters. It's a shonen centric more to the male characters.

Sakura IS a main character because she contributes more in the manga than other female characters but she's not going to contribute as much as Sasuke or Naruto because the series revolved around men more than women.

Take Attack on Titan for example, it's a shonen where the contribution of male and female characters were distributed equally. In Naruto, it simply wasn't distributed equally.

“Sakura is selfish because she tried to lead on Naruto–”

I can agree here that she was entirely in the wrong and made a very stupid decision. But that's exactly what makes Sakura a realistic character. She's flawed. She makes mistakes. She can be irrational. And that makes her human. She didn't lie to him because she thought it would be fun, she did it to protect. She had good intentions even if she took the wrong approach.

Sasuke, as another of the main characters, did more harm to Naruto than Sakura's confession did but everyone understands and forgives him. Obito started a war and killed people and was forgiven. Itachi killed his entire clan and traumatised Sasuke but the fandom forgives because of his reasoning. Nagato killed people, and was still forgiven.

Then why can't you all be more understanding of Sakura? She did not even half of the terrible things which other characters did but gets more hate for it.

“Sakura is a bad friend to Ino–”

Sakura was SEVEN when she announced Ino as her rival. I'm sorry y'all are morally uptight who's never made a single stupid decision as a kid that you feel the need to accuse a child of being a villain for acting like a child. And it has been implied very clearly Sakura wanted to get out of Ino's shadow and only used Sasuke as an excuse to do so.

And if Sakura was this horrible bitchy friend you guys think she was then I don't think Ino would immediately jump to protect her during chunin exams. Sasuke did more terrible things to his best friend than Sakura did but once only Sakura gets shit for it.

And they never stopped being friends, only their dynamic changed, it included friendly bickering and rivalry. Ino never was mad or bitter with Sakura and even proudly told her she bloomed into a beautiful flower, this doesn't sound like a person who's been unfairly betrayed by a best friend over a crush?

In short, Sakura Haruno is fucking amazing and maybe if y'all didn't hold female characters to such a ridiculous high standard and bothered to understand the manga instead of watching filler episodes, you'd know.

[tarabyte3]

I've been thinking a lot about the recent episode of The Acolyte and I have some ✨thoughts✨

(The Acolyte Episode 5 spoilers!!!)

I think the narrative is intentionally making us, the audience, doubt the Jedi and paint them as possibly being the bad guys specifically because now Mae is the one that's going to hear Sol's story. We were encouraged to doubt him and believe he's going to confess something awful about that night to Osha, but instead, I think what he reveals is going to make Mae (and us!) have a change of heart in some way and realize we were wrong. I doubly believe that will be the case because the one casting the most doubt on the Jedi is Qimir, the villain that's also been manipulating and using Mae's anger.***

Because how do you kill a Jedi without a weapon? Easy, you manipulate them, too. You make them paranoid and afraid. You make them doubt themselves and each other. You hurt them in every way that matters. Then you step away and let them destroy themselves. That's a basic Sith tactic, and I think that's exactly what Qimir is trying to do with Sol. Either Sol eventually gives in to the anger and hatred he felt and falls (I highly doubt it) or Qimir wants to get Mae or Osha to turn on/kill him (maybe now he wants to try and make Osha his acolyte instead. Emphasis on try). We've already seen Sol is unwilling to activate his lightsaber when facing Mae because he doesn't want to hurt her (that entire confrontation in the streets), and Sol would probably choose death rather than ever use it on Osha. The girl he connected with and saved and keeps a hologram of and smiles at and loves.

Something terrible obviously happened that night, but I don't believe for a second it was the Jedi's fault. However, it was terrible enough to scar Torbin and make him take the Barash Vow, to make Sol cry, and to make Kelnacca retreat to the woods and hide. Perhaps they all feel guilt for what they couldn't do. Perhaps they blame themselves, which looks like actual guilt from the outside.

But hey, I'm prepared to be wrong and say so, I just don't think it would be very good *Star Wars* storytelling if I am. For 2 reasons:

1) It wouldn't make sense in the existing story. We've seen that Indara, Torbin, and Sol are compassionate, kind people. We saw how soft Kelnacca was with little Osha. Sol radiates warmth, he believed Osha, and he wants to save Mae even after everything she's done. Indara died to protect someone else. For as impersonal and professional as she was when talking to the Coven, I don't think someone that would make themselves vulnerable in a life or death situation to save even one person would be willing to kill an entire community of people unless it was absolutely, completely necessary. I don't think self-defense would even necessarily qualify, I think the Jedi would do everything they could to retreat first. The one caveat I can think of is if someone attacked Torbin. Then I could possibly see Indara as a Master protecting her Padawan, something Masters would give their own lives to do (as we see repeatedly during Order 66), and the situation escalated. (Could be why Torbin is injured and blames himself?)

2) The point of the story in Star Wars has always been that the Jedi are the good guys. They hold up the ideals of goodness and peace, and even though, individually, they sometimes stumble and fall short of it because they're still flawed, mortal beings, they always try to reach for the light. ("Jedi cannot help what they are. Their compassion leaves a trail. The Jedi code is like an itch.") If a group of them has done something unspeakable, unforgivable, and then covered it up (or worse, the Order covered it up), how do we ever trust the Jedi as the good guys again? It goes against everything they believe in. It goes against the story George Lucas created (or has ever said about how Jedi and the Force work). If this is the story being told, it will be a very bad Star Wars story, and I have to hope that's not the case.

***((Side note: The guy that just killed 6 Jedi and a Padawan did not make a good point with "You brought her here." Sol brought Jecki there, with many other Jedi, as her Master to teach her more about how to resolve conflict thinking they were only confronting Mae. And even then, Sol didn't make Qimir confront the Jedi and kill Jecki. Jecki's death is entirely Qimir's fault since he's the one that killed her. Also for a Sith to have "freedom" to be themselves is to allow them to do evil things through the Dark Side, which is ALWAYS evil. Full stop. The Dark Side twists and corrupts. That's how the Dark Side works. Qimir isn't some guy being oppressed because the Jedi are power hungry and unwilling to share the Force. Fascists shouldn't be allowed the freedom to be fascists.))

[separatist-apologist]

The Thing About Mor

I'm gonna say this and then I'm gonna shut up about it.

I don't think it's necessarily the fandom's fault for the way they read Mor, just as a disclaimer. Nor am I saying you are required to like her. Please reread those sentences before we continue.

The thing about Mor is that she's originally set up to be both a foil to the traditionalism of the Spring Court and a counterpart to Feyre's friendship with Lucien. Feyre is immediately struck by Rhys naming not Cassian or Azriel- who seem terrifying to her- as his second in command, but Mor.

Mor is also placed directly between Cassian and Azriel in what I think was originally supposed to be some kind of love triangle for the three, with the ultimate pairing as Mor and Azriel. I think the narrative of ACOMAF sets Mor and Azriel up as potential mates just waiting on a snapping bond, with Cassian as maybe her first choice given how she slept with him as a teenager.

Throughout ACOMAF, we see Mor as someone who can hold her own against the men in her lives. When they go to Hybern, Mor is the only warrior left standing and is the one who ultimately rescues them. She's also the person Rhys trusts to get Feyre in the Spring Court (ignoring the strange "politics" of why Rhys' second-in-command can break into Tamlins manor but the High Lord can't).

She is ALSO the person who goes to Feyre once Feyre realizes Rhys wasn't honest about the bond, and she's the one who asks "would it really be so bad to join our family?"

I don't know what changed for SJM. I think the nessian of it all ended whatever potential love triangle might have happened with Cassian-Mor-Azriel, and I've heard rumors she was getting a lot of pressure to make her stories more diverse (who was asking SJM, of all people, to tell a compelling queer story?). Regardless, somewhere between ACOMAF and ACOWAR, Mor's trajectory changes.

This is seen so clearly with the rise of Eris who, up until ACOWAR, is an undisputed villain in the story. Not just Lucien's story, but the story as a whole. We're told he holds Jesminda down while Beron beheads her, and he participates in tracking Lucien down with the intent to kill him. He gleefully watched Lucien tortured in the second trial UTM, and is willing to give up Feyre's name to Amarantha IF he knew it.

And in the beginning of ACOWAR, Eris is still the villain. He chases Lucien and Feyre across multiple courts at the behest of his father, presumably to hold Feyre ransom back to Tamlin in exchange for who knows what, and see Lucien executed. Eris's cruelty on the ice sets up a truly cinematic moment for Cassian and Azriel to come swooping in and save the day, and once again highlights our good guys (Lucien especially) and our bad guys.

And I do feel like somewhere in this passage, SJM falls in love with Eris and begins to give him the Rhys treatment at the EXPENSE of Mor. Rhys, who we're told, respects Mor over nearly everyone, unilaterally decides that they're going to trust Eris. There is no discussion to be had here. I think this creates a specific moment for readers to be like, okay well if Rhys did this without talking to Mor, then maybe he doesn't trust her. I don't even think its an explicit thought- but implicitly, whatever Eris shared with Rhys is enough to convince him of Eris's goodness over Mor's hatred. And I think that lends itself to a lot of the "maybe she's lying" theories that come about, ESPECIALLY after ACOSF and Eris telling Cassian that there was more that happened than Mor has shared with them.

Additionally, Mor is supposed to oversee Hewn City which means this deal SHOULD have included her because Kier's Darkbringers are part of her jurisdiction, but unless I misremember, this deal is brokered by Rhys, Eris, and Kier. So Mor's position in Hewn City feels ceremonial-I think this is partly because SJM ascribes to a very narrow definition of masculinity and power, and even though Rhys claims to share it, what she shows us does not match with the telling. Rhys decides what happens in Hewn City and he can make decisions without Mor's input so what's she even doing down there besides acting like decoration?

This is also where, I think, a lot of people get frustrated and confused because the "court of dreamers" are sold to us as a family. And in the confession between Mor and Feyre, we suddenly learn Mor is afraid to come out to the people she claims are her closest family. In our current understanding of the world and what it often means to be queer, your found family are supposed to be your safe people, the people you can be unapologetically yourself with ESPECIALLY when your blood relatives reject you. And here Mor is, telling us she is too afraid to come out to the point she sleeps with men specifically to keep Azriel off her back (unclear how that's helping) AND to not arouse suspicion.

So like- it's not a leap to understand why the fandom writes Mor off as a liar or someone that can't be trusted because SJM has inconsistently applied her personality in order to suit her narrative versus telling a consistent story with consistent characterizations. The fandom is left to string it all together and creative a cohesive story and I do think the problem with that is we don't agree.

Interpretations of the text vary, so on one end you have "I think Mor is lying because the narrative, whether it means to or not, is implying Mor shouldn't be trusted. Rhys no longer trusts her and is keeping secrets for her, and its through Rhys we're told Eris CAN be trusted." and on the other its "Mor isn't responsible for the men around her and is held to a different standard than the other characters who are better fleshed out (in part because they're associated with a man)."

Again, a lot of this is speculation. I don't know what SJM's true original plans were, nor can I speak with 100% authority why she changed them. I can say that SJM is notorious, across all her works, for changing motivations and characterizations to fit her narrative and that ACOTAR feels the most egregious. I don't think she ever had a solid plan for ACOTAR beyond the feysand romance, and everything else has been slapped together based on how she feels in the moment, which leads to a lot of the arguments and frustrations we currently experience around most of the characters, honestly.

[bl00dlight]

Since we've seen the leaks already, what do you think this, and the season as a whole, says about Aemond's character? I really don't want to see him as a villain or someone who's inherently bad, I don't want to think of him as someone who doesn't care about other people besides himself; but some of those comments I see from other people are a little discouraging. What do you think of it/of him?

This is an ask I've thought ALOT about.

I think ultimately- yes Aemond is a villain. But I don't think he is INHERENTLY bad. Unfortunately alot of people online legitmately have no ability to properly analyse characters. That's not saying I'M the best at it, but I've noticed how Aemond's arc has gone over most people's heads. Which is partially the writers fault.

So - basically, yes Aemond is villainous, but he wasn't born that way. He is essentially the product of his environment, I'm gonna break this down into the leaks and his overall arc so far.

This is going to be alot. Buckle in.

LEAKS -

I'm hoping there are more scenes between Helaena and Aemond to give context to their reltionship. But personally, there is SO MUCH between them which, feels like it's gone unexplored and is coming to a head very suddenly?

First of all, Aemonds actions in Helaena's chambers is the result of two things

SCENE 1) Fear, he is terrified about the fact the Blacks have a FUCK load of dragons now. Aemond has just been confronted with the very possible reality, he may indeed be fucked. He's spent his entire life building this shield mentally and physically - Vhagar is apart of that shield. As far as he was aware, nothing could touch him, no one could stop him and so far - he's been right. The whole reason why the Blacks haven't bothered using their Dragons to attack King's Landing is the fact that Vhagar would fucking destroy them.

Blacks

Greens.

And THEN once Daemon fucks off and Rhaneys dies?

So... basically so far? Yea, Aemond was unstoppable. He was riding ALLLLL of this ego, pride, power he had suddenly been given - everything that he wanted? He finally feels respected, above fear, and most of all in control. Now I've been saying for ages Aemond is a Valyrian supremacist despite many people disagreeing. But I was right (thanks Ewan) - so compounded with the fact he thinks he is basically Targaryen Jesus. He is this scorned boy, who rose from the ashes and is taking charge. He thinks himself the embodiment of Targaryen supremacy, ultimate power without weakness.

You gotta remember he is a character driven by ego, driven by rising above fear, he doesn't ever want to feel like he did as a kid, ever again. Which is why he tries to kill Aegon? Aegon put him in a position where suddenly Aemond was right back in that place. So he reacted with the ONLY thing he KNOWS works, the only way he knows he can remind people, remind AEGON, that he is not weak, he is not dangerous- and most importantly; HE is important and won't be overlooked. And what is that? Violence.

But once he sees the Dragonseeds? He feels that fear again, the most fear he is probably ever felt. And he is suddenly faced with something that he has been avoiding his entire life; the idea that he might be fallible, that he might lose. Because it's one thing taking on a set of small dragons, who as we saw with Meleys - who was the SECOND LARGEST dragon they had - basically you can't do shit if Vhagar is after you. And on top of that, Rhaneyra is the Queen - so she is unlikely to fight. So who does that leave excluding Daemon? Jace and Baela, who ride dragons around the size of Arrax. And both of them are far less proficient at riding than Aemond.

But now? From Aemond's perspective?, once the Blacks get those Dragonseeds, the war looks like this;

Basically? Aemond is on his own. And now he is facing two VERY large dragons - one being FUCKING VERMITHOR.

So all that power Aemond once has is gone in an instant. And on top of that? Aemond who has thought himself above everyone else because he is a Targaryen, that he is SUCH a Targaryen he managed to claim VHAGAR (QUEEN VISENYA'S WAR DRAGON MIND YOU???) when he was like 12/13?

And now? Now he sees a bunch of common folk bastards on dragons. On large, old - TARGARYEN dragons who are sacred. They are literally viewed as Gods. Imagine how big of an ego blow that is for him? He has just learnt that holy fuck.... maybe I'm not as special as I think I am. But he hides that through bigotry, by claiming its an abomination of their heritage.

So when we see Aemond approach and grab Helaena - it's not done because he has no care for her, in fact his dialogue is about that very idea. He is terrified, hurt and desperate. Technically? He is right, Helaena rides a fairly large dragon. He NEEDS her. He has no other option but to try and force her? Without it they are fucked big time. And so what does he do? But Helaena DENIES HIM. She reinforces what he feels is his powerlessness, so what does he do? Resort to violence.

If you listen to what he says to Alicent, it proves he does care for Helaena. But he is so angry that Alicent has put them all in this position of weakness, that basically started this war with Rhaenyra and now? Won't even back up her own children out of fear. Aemond doesn't want Helaena to be weak, because he knows that will get her killed. He literally says it

"How am I going to protect her if she can't protect herself?"

He means that, because now there is a possibility Aemond might die. And then what? Who will protect Helaena if not herself?

People forget Aemond is deeply dysfunctional, I think it completely makes sense for him to impulsively hurt Helaena. Because his intention isn't to abuse her - it's done out of fear.

In the same way, Daemon doesn't grab Rhaenyra's neck to hurt her - it's done because he feels powerless. Parallels. None of this is to JUSTIFY their actions, violence against women is violence against women. But, people are forgetting that both Daemon and Aemond are men who feel weak, fragile, unloved - and the only way they've been taught to get what they want is through violence.

I'm hoping we get some scenes before this one with Helaemond, because it's clear Helaena doesn't fear Aemond when he comes in. She seems quite comfortable and casual telling him she is going to bed. It's not until he makes his demand do we see her retaliate. And again? To Aemond it doesn't fucking matter anymore if Helaena doesn't want to kill anyone, because if she doesn't help - they'll all die. It's a matter of life or death at this point. And that ALSO triggers Aemond big time, because if he can die? That means he is infallible. He is desperate and now the only person whom seemingly understood him to some degree, is turning away.

SCENE 2) Now on the balcony we see everything I just said, manifest itself. He approaches her, gently and he says this (let's break it down)

We share the same blood you and I.

This is not just about the fact they are siblings - this is about the fact they are dragonriders. 'The Blood of the Dragon' - it's interesting because Aemond doesn't view all his relatives in that way. He certainly doesn't view his brother or his nephews like that. Not from the way he speaks about them. As if they are below him. But not to Helaena. To him, she is the same as him - which is a recurring theme with the Targaryens, they don't view themselves as humans in the same way other Houses do. They view themselves as literally part dragon. It's a deep, ancestral connection that only THEY share, only THEY can understand.

And he wants her to know that, despite what he did - he didn't do it to harm her, but because of his blood - the same blood in her. He is sort of appealing to her understanding what drives him, it's absolutely a piss poor excuse to hurt her but basically he is saying "We are the same, you know why I did what I did. You know what my drive is, what my purpose is. You know I'm not a monster like Alicent thinks I am"

Which leads us to -

I know you wish no harm to anyone. But in a time like this? When the good of the realm depends on us?

So here he declares he knows she doesn't want to hurt others and that he doesn't want to make her do that. It's manipulative- he is basically trying to persuade her into thinking it's for the good of realm. That he wants her to fight to save herself and others. That at the moment, yea the Greens are fucked.

Basically he needs her. He needs her more than ever.

Our mother is not a dragonrider. She cannot understand that you and I have a truer call to heed.

But HERE, here is where it gets interesting and he plays his hand. Right now, Alicent and everyone else around them think he is a fucken bull blown monster. And he is desperately trying to connect with his sister - the one person who he knows hasn't seen him in that light. That's why she asks him if it was worth the price?

She has time and time again assumed the good in Aemond. And we can see that from the little moments, when she strokes his arm in the dragonpit, when she claps for him when he makes the speech at the dinner. We even know that Helaena feels safe/ feels that Aemond has good in him because Phia has literally stated that, Helaena probably feels safer with Aemond, more seen and understand. That they share an affinity.

And the two of them are also the ones who have been the MOST dutiful, they both have committed their lives to their mother. They share a greater cause.

And so Aemond? Who has felt so deeply isolated ESPECIALLY IN SEASON 2, is going to his sister, fully bare in his vunerablity, and saying "No one understands us. Alicent is a Targaryen, she doesn't get the blood we share or our desires. She doesn't get why have a destiny that is greater.)

And it's SPECIFIC, he is saying YOU AND I. He means it, that he legitmately believes he and Helaena share this destiny. In fact? We saw it when she was a kid? When he defended Helaena from Aegon, his defence was that she is their sister and going to be a Targaryen Queen who keeps their line pure.

Aemond is basically saying, "You're my equal and I need you beside me so we can take what is ours."

Come with me? To Harrenhal? We will lay waste to Daemon and his army, let our enemies see that we will answer outrage, with outrage.

Again, reinforcing what I just said. It's important to note he begins to tear up here, that he is completely vunerable before her. He feels alone, weak, and misunderstood. So he is going to her, sort of like a child goes to their mother for comfort/help. He wants her to turn around and validate him, to make him feel strong and righteous. He wants her to make HIM feel better, so even though he probably does feel guilty and remorse for hurting her. He can't express that in any other manner other than asking for her to help him. Because he doesn't know how to help other people.

This whole speech is very reminiscent, and what I ASSUME is a parallel to when Rhaenyra asks Daemon to join her against the Greens/marry her.

I need you, Uncle. I cannot face the Greens alone. Let us bind our blood...But you and I, are made of fire. We have always been meant to burn together.

It's a vunerable moment, and again it touches on the same ideas Aemonds does to Helaena. The idea that there are enemies who are undeserving of the crown, and that Rhaenyra needs DAEMON NOT just because she loves him - but because they share this deep understanding of one another. They are equals. They share the same blood and therefore it's destined that they do this together.

So? Yes. Aemond does legitmately care for Helaena- even if there is manipulation involved, he isn't manipulating her anymore than Rhaenyra did to Daemon.

It's real for Aemond, he truly believes this - and he is desperate enough to be this vunerable. We see him try to grab her arm and then pull away. There is a level of intimacy between them, or at least intimacy HE feels.

And so when she rejects his plea, when she ASSUMES THE WORST, assumes that he would burn her - its basically telling Aemond that she doesn't understand him. She isn't the same.

And we literally see Aemond begin to tear up even more. Because now he feels even more misunderstood and isolated. So again? He goes into his defences - into the only thing he knows how to do - violence.

But he doesn't hurt her. He threatens her, very softly by the way? It's not a real threat, it's another desperate power move to force her into submitting. Because he is rapidly feeling all that power, all that strength slip away from him. And now he knows that he will die and Aegon will be King again.

And instead of rectifying that his ambition will be the death of him, he tries to silence her.

Now it's hard to separate Targaryenism from the sexual/romantic element. So I mean, the people online who are really pushing the idea that Helaemond is toxic and Aemond is innately evil is really misinterpreting what's actually going on.

First of all, Helaemond was always toxic, this is GRRM's work - name one couple which isn't toxic. Even Corlys and Rhaenys were toxic let's be REALLLLL.

Second of all, sometimes... just sometimes abusive people such as Aemond - are not innately evil. Sometimes they are victims themselves who have internalised that trauma and enact abuse onto others. That doesn't justify his actions, but it gives context into actually understanding how a character like him devolves into genocide. How he goes from the boy from s1 to the man who is basically a Targaryen fascist.

And as for Helaena? Well, she isn't exactly well adjusted. And she is entirely a victim 1000%, but in that scene - we see her shut down. Instead of trying to appeal to Aemond in a way which might subdue him, she basically says every single thing which she knows will make it worse. And yea, Helaena knows it will make things worse. She too is enacting cycles of a different kind of abuse. Which is disconnection, neglect. Why? Because she has experienced the same trauma as Alicent.

Helaena is kind, she is caring but she doesn't have the tools to attempt to manage someone like Aemond. So she turns away from him. She reinforces his greatest fears, because to her? It doesn't matter. Nothing is really real. She is able to disconnect and stop caring because she knows the outcome, she knows it's meaningless so she doesn't even try. She knows that the Greens don't matter and their line dies out. So, why bother trying to soothe Aemond if for all she knows, their fate is sealed.

But to Aemond? He doesn't have the insight of the end. To him its all happening right now, it all matters and he is scared and alone. He is trying to reach out to his sister, who isn't there anymore. And he doesn't fully understand Helaena knows everything. He doesn't understand that Helaena is basically so traumatised by her own life and what she has seen- that she dosent care.

To him, she is hurting him, she is abandoning him.

Remember that these characters are like 18-20 max. They are not developmentally mature. And they are traumatised.

So as for Aemond's arc?

I think it all makes sense. However the writers have done a piss poor job this season of ACTUALLY exploring this properly. I've gone through it in previous posts how I think the writers should've handled Aemond early on in this season to build up to this. But basically, all the ingredients are there, they just haven't put them in right to get the proper pay-off. So it all feels very rushed and very sudden. And it would've been 10000x more impactful if instead of mindless Alicole scenes and Harrenhal hallucinations - and yea the brothel scenes the way they were done... ehhhhh they could've done better at establishing that.

But anyway, what we should've gotten is scenes between the Green siblings/family - that show thr dynamic which has set Aemond over the edge.

And we should have seen Aemond and Helaena earlier on which is the catalyst to him going full psycho - when finally even she turns away from him.

[i-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city]

Only villains are allowed to be complex in Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender

I had a major issue with the treatment of the original gaang in natla and I think it has to do with character flaws. As in, they don't have any.

In the case of Aang, other characters keep telling him that he can't ignore his responsibilities but when do we ever see him actually do this? When does he seek out distractions to avoid his duties, like penguin sledding, or riding elephant koi, or hiding in a cave? Hell, the reason he gets trapped in the iceberg is changed. In natla he was only going out on a short flight with Appa and gets caught in a storm. In the original he ran away, and it's understandable because he felt alone and out of control of his life. But it is still a choice he makes, to run away from his responsibilities, and he has to deal with the consequences.

In natla there is no choice to run away, it's fully an accident and it takes away his agency as a character. So when Bumi starts blaming him for the war it really rings hollow because it was all an accident. It has more weight when a random fisherman blames him in atla because at least in that version he did make a choice to runaway. Obviously he had no way of knowing what would happen and he never intended to abandon the world to genocide and war. But that's the thing about life, you never know the full consequences of your decisions, and you just have to deal with them when they happen. The war is not Aang's fault, but he did make a bad decision, and it had far reaching consequences. It made Aang's character more relatable and gave him a starting place from which he could grow as a character. He had to learn how to accept responsibility for his actions without blaming himself for the actions of other (i.e. Sozin starting the war).

I feel like in the case of Katara, they stripped her passion and anger. They explored Katara's PTSD but they take away how angry it made her. Anger is a totally normal response to trauma. While letting yourself be consumed by anger is obviously bad, anger can also be channeled into passion and energy to enact positive change. This was a big part of Katara's character in atla, learning how to control her righteous indignation and use it to fight for the rights of other. She has none of that anger here, so there is no character growth and no emotional connection to the character through that arc.

This especially falls flat in her 'feminist arc.' She fights with Pakku but there is no anger, no fire in her. In atla at the end of the fight, even though she was pinned down and had clearly lost, she was still going. She was almost feral. Even though she was worn out, her passion of fighting for what is right still fueled her. She would not give up. So I guess it's fitting natla's unpassionate Katara just falls down at the end of the fight. And they cut out the whole importance of the necklace, which serves as Pakku's realization on how his sexism has negatively impacted his own life. It's this realization that motivates him to reevaluate his beliefs and agree to train Katara. Which needs to happen because having a master's tutelage is what allows her to become a master herself. Alta makes it clear that she excels because of her hard work and determination along with guidance from a mentor. There's none of this in natla. They just start calling Katara a master because 'girlpower' I guess? They certainly don't show how she became so talented. But natla Katara doesn't need help from other people to grow. She's already a master. She's already perfect.

Sokka is also stripped of his flaws as well. Obviously we know he is not sexist in natla. I don't think this is inherently a bad change, but you have to understand how the sexism impacted his character in atla and adjust accordingly. In atla, Sokka's sexism is really the origin of his all his insecurities. He believes there are roles for men and roles for women. Protecting the tribe is a man's job. So when the men go off to fight in the war, he believes he must carry the burden of protecting the tribe as the oldest male. He sets himself up for failure because he places impossible standards on himself. He cannot protect and lead the tribe all by himself, especially not when he is a young child. This leads to him feeling inadequate because he cannot measure up to his own impossible standards or his idealized version of his father (who was an adult and had the support of his tribesmen).

I could still see a way to still adapt atla without the sexism. (For example Hakoda tells Sokka to look after his younger sister. He takes that to an extreme of being overprotective of the whole tribe. And we are back at him failing to met his own impossible expectations again). But natla doesn't do this. Instead it just throws in a flashback of Hakoda saying that Sokka isn't fit to be a warrior. This kind of defeats the purpose of Sokka's own internal conflict about not measuring up to his own unrealistic expectations. Now it's his father's expectation's he doesn't measure up to. This is not a bad story beat in and of itself. It works well with Zuko. But it's not Sokka's character conflict. In alta Sokka's insecurities, internal expectations, and sexism also cause him to lash out at others sometimes. He's not allowed to act so negatively in atla. So again there is no place for him to grow as a character, as he does not have these flaws.

Honestly it seems like they tired to removal all negative character traits from the main characters, which makes them feel more stiff and allows them no room for growth. I really wanted to like this adaptation. And I do think there are some changes they do really well. But those changes are related to the villains and they just drop the ball so hard with our main characters.

[menlove]

What do you think actually happened between John and Paul that caused John to become so bitter and vindictive towards Paul? If I remember correctly, the prevailing theory of John being rejected by Paul was actually conceived to retroactively 'explain ' John's behavior because otherwise it seems inexplicable why he would turn on so completely on the person who had been arguably his closest friend, if not lover. However, it's evident from Paul's lyrics and interview to Hunter Davies that he is entirely confused and hurt by John's behavior. Like he even complains everyone always looks to him for blame but nobody sees how much he was hurt by John. I'm not trying to take any sides here of course, both John and Paul had their faults and issues which complicated their relationship but genuinely curious to hear what your theory is.

honestly? bpd. like I barely even think of it as a theory, although ofc it is, bc sooooo many people agree that john could have Easily been diagnosed w bpd

like there's a thing called splitting w bpd where you just. like on a Dime you can't stand someone. and this can be very brief (I've split on people and it lasted like an hour) or permanent but it's very common. like you go every quickly from idealization to demonization of a person. or complete apathy (which is my personal kryptonite rip)

not only that but there's quite a few paul quotes where he talks about the fact that john started "slagging him off" as a way to distance himself from paul/the beatles and sort of "prove" to yoko that he was entirely devoted to her. which also makes sense to me as a bpd cunt bc I've unfortunately done that too 😭 and it's not necessarily an act either, it's just like.......... your brain can't make room for the way you feel for a New Person and an Old Person so you start analyzing everything that Old Person did and finding every flaw and magnifying it and blowing it up until you start feeling bitter or angry and suddenly in your mind someone that was once your world is like. some kind of villain out of a storybook.

and this is very very difficult to deal with and he wasn't really........ getting any help or outside people telling him that his view of paul/the beatles was being distorted. yoko was also pretty paranoid & from several sources encouraged his bitterness/paranoia (which isn't a dunk on her- I'm just a firm believer that she was a Complicated Person and villifying OR deifying is just weird and racist). not to Mention the scream therapy stuff, where I'm Pretty sure he himself has even said he was encouraged to pick apart his life and relationships and find Issues.

so you've got someone whose brain is already a goddamn game of mouse trap telling him that if he's not w paul/the beatles anymore he Has to hate him, surrounded by people encouraging that line of thought, and hounded by media asking him about it and pitting him against paul

and with that in mind, I do think it was also a bit exaggerated by the media. it was definitely encouraged, that's for sure. but even if john didn't Hate Paul, that's how it would be portrayed bc it made a more dramatic and interesting story. they'd ask him (and paul) leading questions to get the most material.

I honestly don't find it inexplicable that he'd turn on him without a "reason" so maybe my own mouse trap of a brain is part of why I disagree so much w that dominant narrative of rejection to explain it 😭 bc for me and many other bpd cunts I know it's just. it could Literally be nothing. often it's just a SENSE of rejection that will cause a split. and I'm willing to bet that their growing distance, paul pushing the band harder to work after brian died, paul not really accepting yoko and johnandyoko, the possible dying out of a sexual aspect of their relationship, paul proposing to jane & later getting with/marrying linda, paul Accepting john's ask for a divorce, paul going out and making an album on his own....... well. it's a perfect storm for my fellow bpd bitch to go "well fuck him I never loved him that guy fucking sucks and whatever he does doesn't hurt me anyway bc I don't care At All he's just the absolute worst and I can't stand him"

which of course had to be whiplash for paul. from his pov it was genuinely out of nowhere. but I will say all his comments about it and john needing to put him/the beatles aside for yoko and just..... all his quotes around john's mental health seem to be very VERY aware of all this. he knew john better than anyone & his main confusion seems to be around whether or not john ever actually loved or even liked him. which is an understandable emotional reaction. I think, though, he does show a deep understanding of john when he talks about all of this which makes me soooo :(

[ewingstan]

So one of Ward's main themes has been asking what's needed to change as a person. Its the whole setup for Breakthrough: People who've done horrible things trying to become better. There's been lots of sub-themes within that—accountability, punishment and repentance, separating yourself from your past. There's been a constant counter to it, with most of the foils or antagonistic forces expressing the idea that you can't get better and might as well let yourself get worse. Lisa does this through her pessimism about things getting better. A lot of the minor career villains have represented it through their willingness to "be more brutal" rather than stick to the old rules we're pretending anyone followed. Cradle represented it through how he blamed Rain for not letting him stay good, and before that the rest of the cluster represented it through blaming Rain for their own bloodthirstiness via bleedthrough. "This isn't my fault, the world is making me bad" has repeatedly been positioned as the obstacle to "Regardless of why I did wrong before, I can put in work to get better."

I do think that "others are too quick to judge agents for reacting to bad circumstances imperfectly" is a bigger problem then "people are too willing to blame their circumstances for their behavior." Mostly because those unfair judgements of moral character has been the justification for uncountable cruel punishments throughout history, lead to untold people being paralyzed by the fear of Hell, lead to children being treated like they needed evil beaten out of them and convicts being treated like they're being disrespectful for daring to continue drawing breath. It can be hard for me to overcome my gut reaction towards anything that seems to be arguing for moral responsibility, because I genuinely think our ethical systems would be better without that concept being included.

But, that's not quite what Ward is doing, at least not when its at its best. "You need to take responsibility" in the sense of recognizing that you could act differently in the future is, strictly speaking, different from "you need to be held responsible" in the sense I find harmful. So as far as central themes go, its not bad. I have resistances to finding it astounding, but it's not an inherently terrible angle or anything.

That said, Ward has framed the opposing theme in counterproductive ways. While "the world wouldn't let me change" can work as a good beat, its not something that people are consciously thinking and being motivated by. We can talk about "they thought I was a monster, so they stripped me of all means to live honestly, so I had to live as a monster" or even "they thought I was a monster, so none would speak with me except others they considered monsters, and we made each other our worst selves," but in neither of those cases is the character's actions driven by their own belief that people wont let them be good—its driven by the actual external circumstances of how people treat them and restrict opportunities. So the way Cradle suddenly starts behaving horribly, not because others are treating him in ways that affect his material circumstances, but because of his reaction to the cluster bleedthrough—it just feels mistaken to even invoke "you made me a monster" as a trope. It doesn't work as a critique of pushing the blame for your actions onto others, because Cradle's reasoning for pushing the blame onto others feels written as an afterthought.

My problem with how this is treated in Amy are related, but not identical. A few chapter's ago, Amy complained about the world not letting her change. I don't think it made much sense for her, not only because her becoming someone who externalizes her issues feels like an unsatisfying direction for her after Worm, but more directly because it doesn't make sense in the context she's in. And sure, she's someone who makes poorly thought-out excuses for herself, so I'm not gonna ding the writing for that. It just feels like it makes more sense as just a parroting of what some commenters have said about Victoria and Amy, rather than something that Amy would herself think.

The same thing seems true for the above passages. A lot of things that readers have said about Amy are now being said, by Amy. Amy is of course voicing the rhetorically worst possible version of those claims, but I think the interesting thing is that the context Amy's saying it is the main thing making it reprehensible. Because as much as Amy is repeating the thin substance of what some readers have argued, fans arguing with other fans that "you shouldn't hate this character because X," is just substantially different than a rapist telling her victim "you shouldn't hate me because of X." Even if the strict words spoken were the same, they aren't at all the same claim, because one is what the audience should feel and the other is how Victoria should feel.

You could argue against this by saying "if its right for Victoria to hate Amy, its right for the audience to hate Amy, because hate is right when it reflects an accurate judgement of someone's moral character." I won't pretend that conception of justified hate isn't somewhat widespread, but I don't think it stands up to scrutiny. Especially not applied to fictional characters.

[mbruben-stein]

Hello! I love love love your works!

May I request headcanons for:

Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, and Loki

In which the reader (fem or gender neutral) gets hurt to protect them (or the reader got hurt taking a blow which was meant for them), and is dying.

I don't know if you've written this before, and you don't need to rush to write this, if you do write this, thank you so much!

P. S. Your works brighten my day, thank you!!

Avengers reaction to fem s/o getting hurt protecting them/taking a blow for them, and dying in their arms.

Warning: this Mentions Death, and it's sad.

~Peter Parker~

Peter cradled s/o's broken body in his arms, his mind reeling in horror and despair. Just moments ago, they had been fighting side-by-side against the villain's henchmen. But in a cruel twist of fate, s/o had jumped in front of Peter to shield him from a powerful energy blast at the last second. Now she lay dying from catastrophic wounds, her breaths coming in short, pained gasps.

"No, no, no… s/o, stay with me, please," Peter begged, tears streaming down his face as he held her close. His voice cracked with anguish. "Why did you do that? I'm Spider-Man, I have powers, I could have…"

"I had to…" S/o whispered weakly, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. "I couldn't let you die… I love you, Peter."

"I love you too. More than anything. You can't leave me, not like this!" Peter sobbed. His mind raced desperately, trying to think of some way, any way to save her. But deep down, he knew it was too late. Her injuries were too severe.

S/o's eyes fluttered as she struggled to focus on Peter's grief-stricken face one last time. "I'm sorry… Take care of yourself and stay strong… for me…"

With those final words, s/o went limp in Peter's arms, the light fading from her eyes as her spirit left her body. An anguished, inhuman howl of misery tore from Peter's throat. He hugged s/o's lifeless form to his chest, rocking back and forth as he wept uncontrollably.

His beloved s/o, the person he cherished most in this world, had sacrificed herself to save him. Devastation overwhelmed Peter, along with crushing guilt. He should have been faster, should have protected her. What good were his powers if he couldn't even keep the woman he loved safe?

As he knelt there in the wreckage, shattered by grief and loss, Peter silently vowed that s/o's death would not be in vain. He would keep fighting to protect others, no matter the cost. He owed her that much. Even as his heart lay in pieces, he would honor s/o's memory by being the hero she always believed him to be.

~Tony Stark~

Tony cradles s/o's broken body in his arms, the chaos of the battle still raging around them. Her breaths come in short, pained gasps as blood seeps through her torn tactical suit.

"No no no, stay with me baby, stay with me," Tony pleads desperately, voice cracking with emotion. He brushes her hair back from her ashen face with a shaking hand.

S/o weakly reaches up to grasp his hand. "T-Tony…"

"Shh, don't try to talk. Save your strength. I'm gonna get you out of here, you're going to be okay…" But even as the words leave his mouth, Tony knows they ring hollow. Her injuries are too severe.

Tears stream down his face as the horrible realization sinks in - she sacrificed herself to save him. Jumped in front of that blast meant for him without hesitation. And now the woman he loves is dying in his arms because of it.

"I-I had to… c-couldn't let you die…" s/o whispers, life quickly fading from her eyes.

"You shouldn't have done that! Not for me. God, not for me…" Tony's body shakes with sobs, cradling her close. "Please… I can't lose you…"

With the last of her strength, s/o reaches up to touch his face. "I love you…"

Then her hand falls limply to the ground as she breathes her last. Tony lets out an anguished cry, burying his face against her neck as grief consumes him. She's gone. And it's his fault.

The profound guilt, devastation and self-loathing would haunt Tony deeply. Blaming himself for not protecting her, for once again failing someone he loved most. Her death saving his life would weigh heavily on his soul, tormenting him endlessly. The sacrifice of his beloved s/o would break something fundamental inside Tony and leave scars that would never fully heal.

~Natasha Romanoff~

Natasha cradles s/o gently, a look of anguish on her face as she sees the severity of s/o's wounds. "Why did you do that?" she asks softly, her voice trembling slightly. "You shouldn't have…"

S/o manages a weak smile. "I couldn't let you get hurt. Not when I could do something about it." She winces in pain.

Natasha shakes her head, fighting back tears. "You brave, stubborn woman. Always putting others first." Despite the direness of the situation, there's a note of pride and deep affection in Natasha's voice.

She holds s/o closer, stroking her hair soothingly. "Just stay with me, okay? Help is coming. You're going to be alright."

S/o's breathing is growing shallower. "Nat… I need you to know… meeting you, loving you… it's been the best part of my life. You made me so happy…"

A tear slips down Natasha's cheek as she presses her forehead to s/o's. "Don't talk like that. Don't you dare say goodbye," she whispers fiercely. "You're my heart, s/o. I can't do this without you."

"You're the strongest person I know," s/o murmurs. "You'll be okay. I love you so much…" Her eyes flutter closed.

"No, no, no, stay with me!" Natasha pleads desperately. "I love you too. More than anything. I can't lose you!"

She holds s/o tightly as the sound of the medevac approaches, silently praying to anyone who will listen to let her love survive this. In this moment, the Black Widow facade is gone - there is only a woman terrified of losing the most precious thing in her world. All of her walls have crumbled, revealing the deeply vulnerable, human side of her that s/o alone was privileged to know.

It's a poignant, heartwrenching scene, illustrating the depth of love and raw, aching humanity beneath Natasha's guarded exterior. Her s/o means everything to her.

~Steve Rogers~

Steve would be utterly distraught seeing his beloved S/O gravely injured and dying in his arms, especially knowing she sacrificed herself to protect him. As she lay there growing weaker, he would cradle her gently, his blue eyes filled with anguish and glistening with tears he's struggling to hold back.

"Stay with me, please. Don't leave me," he would plead desperately, his normally steady voice breaking. The thought of losing her would be unbearable to him.

Ever the soldier, he would call urgently for medical help, putting pressure on her wound to slow the bleeding, refusing to give up. But he would also take her hand and stroke her face tenderly, wanting her to feel his presence and love in what could be their final moments together.

"You're going to be alright, just hold on," he would say, even as the life fades from her eyes. "I love you so much. I can't do this without you."

As she drew her last breaths, he would hold her close and whisper softly to her. "It's okay. You can rest now. I've got you."

Even if help arrived too late, he would refuse to let her go, rocking her in his arms as sobs overtook his body. The guilt and grief would threaten to consume him. He would forever remember her final act of love and carry it with him always, even as he struggled to imagine a life without her by his side. The woman he loved, his partner and soulmate, gone in an instant… it would shake him to his core and leave him a broken man.

~Loki~

Loki cradles s/o's weakening body in his arms, green eyes wide with shock and anguish as he takes in her grave injury. The chaos of battle fades into the background as his entire focus narrows to the woman he loves, her life force fading by the second.

"No, no, no…" he mutters in disbelief and growing despair. "S/o, why did you do that? Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?" His normally smooth voice cracks with raw emotion.

S/o manages a pained smile up at him, raising a trembling hand to caress his pale cheek. "Because I love you, Loki. I couldn't bear to see you hurt."

Loki shakes his head, tears welling in his eyes and spilling down his face. "You foolish, beautiful, brave woman. I never deserved your love, your loyalty." He pulls her closer, burying his face in her hair.

"I'd make the same choice again," s/o whispers. "I regret nothing… except leaving you." Her breathing grows shallower, more labored.

"Don't you dare leave me!" Loki commands desperately, his slender frame shaking with repressed sobs. "Stay with me, love. I can heal you, I can fix this!" His hands glow with seidr as he frantically tries to knit her grievous wounds back together.

But the damage is too extensive. s/o weakly grips his wrist, stilling his movements. "No, my darling. We both know… it's too late for me."

"You can't go," Loki pleads brokenly, his heart shattering. "I need you. I've lost so much already…"

With the last of her waning strength, s/o pulls his head down and presses a tender kiss to his lips. "I'll always be with you, Loki. In your memories, in your heart." Her voice is fading, her skin growing cold. "Promise me…you'll keep living. Keep fighting for good."

"I promise," Loki chokes out. "I love you, s/o. More than anything."

She smiles serenely as the light leaves her eyes. "And I love you…always."

S/o goes limp in his arms, and Loki unleashes an anguished, grief-stricken scream, his magic exploding out of him in uncontrolled waves. The battle turns in his favor as he cuts down enemies in a berserk rage, tears streaming down his face.

When the last foe falls, Loki collapses beside s/o's body, gathering her into his arms once more as he weeps, desolate and heartbroken without her. He knows he'll have to find a way to carry on, to honor her memory and sacrifice. But for now, all he can do is grieve the loss of his soulmate and vow vengeance on those responsible.

[oneshlut]

Hey!! I absolutely ADORE your writing, it makes me so happy!!! I happen to be a sucker for our favorite nerd, and you write super good for him! May i ask for general datting headcanons? Like what its like to date him???? Thank you!!!<3

A/N: ohhh, i was WAITING for this one!! i loveee dating hcs. i'm assuming you mean dr. flug, in which i am always happy to write for him! thank you so much for the request! im so happy you enjoy my works!! c: (also flug may be just a teensy bit autism-coded...)

The Doctor Is Out (Dr. Flug x Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General Dr. Flug dating headcanons/What is dating Dr. Flug like?

You thought he was a nervous wreck before? You've never seen him on a date. Before a date, for that matter.

After asking you out to a museum that recently opened outside the Hat Island, he dragged himself to his room and.. screamed into his pillow. Leaving 5.0.5. decently concerned.

He paced around his lab, wracked with anxiety. Oh god, oh god--what is he going to do?! Did he still look alright?? He paused his anxious strides to look at himself in his full-body mirror that he practically pulled out of nowhere. I guess he looked alright-? Or did he need to change his shirt again? Oh--crap he should probably take off his gloves.. or should he? He's always had normally sweaty hands, not including his nerves getting the best of him.. Yeah, the gloves are staying on.

Not to mention how Demencia is teasing him every minute she gets while Flug is writing out a plan. Yeah, you heard me right, this faceless man has an entire 24-step written plan for this date. He can't go without a plan, right? He doesn't want to mess up in front of you, either..

Some ridiculous, unreasonable, irrational part of him thinks maybe you won't show up. Obviously, he doesn't know any better to know how much you love him. Then again, if he knew, I don't think he'd last.

The museum went way better than he expected! There just happened to be a jet plane exhibit, and suddenly his 24-step plan has made its way to a nearby trash can. Don't get me wrong, his nerves were definitely still there, and not going anywhere anytime soon. He was just glad that he didn't draw you away with his possibly unending rambling about different types of aircraft.

The two of you stayed in the museum until it closed at 4 p.m. The time seemed to fly by, and at some point during the date you had held his hand. Poor Flug was too distracted, that he only noticed your interlocked hands when the both of you were leaving the building. He's blushing like a maniac now. As if the red tint on his face couldn't get any worse, before you left, you kissed him on his cheek. You kissed him on his cheek. His bones turned to ice, frozen in place. Later that night, he couldn't get his mind off of you. He's not washing his bag for a while. Not like he washed it in the first place.

So, you two are dating! In a relationship! Dr. Flug refuses to believe it, but every morning kinda forces him to. Though, sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with the attention, so when this happens, you give him the day to compose himself again.

He's happy with the attention, though! More than happy, he's honestly never received such affection before and.. he enjoys it.

Some days, you'll just have hang-out dates! For example, Dr. Flug is undergoing a heavy project and asks you to come over for comfort. He'll even ask you for help with his experiments from time to time! Don't worry, he wouldn't involve you in anything too dangerous, he's not cruel. Well, not to you..

If we're talking about Dr. Flug here, at least one date has to go wrong. Thankfully, it's almost never his fault. He's, unfortunately, slightly popular with heroes. Not that he, himself, as a villain is popular, but rather him being known under the Blackhat name has drawn in some unwanted attention from heroes.

What does this mean for the two of you? Well, worst case scenario, a hero has such a huge grudge against Flug that they are determined to ruin your date. According to Dr. Flug, there's only a 1.117% chance of this happening, so you shouldn't have to worry too much.

Afterwards, he feels horrible that your date went to crap. He apologizes profusely, even if you forgive him in the first place, he'll continue to feel bad. All he wants is for you to be happy, and it feels like he's failed you. But the fact that you're still here with him is more than enough proof that you're far from giving up on him, if ever.

On days where you would stay inside with him, whether it be a stormy night or just a long day for you, sometimes he'd turn around from whatever he was working on when you don't respond to him, and he'll find you resting peacefully next to 5.0.5. The sight warms his heart, as he moves to grab a blanket for you, and dims the lights in his lab slightly.

With you asleep, and now with him and nothing to work on, he now has time to think. And for some reason, no thoughts come to him. Surprising to his usually busy brain.

One thought came to him, eventually. Watching you rest soundly in the now dim-lighted room, your chest lifting up and down with your soft breaths, made him realize how lucky he truly is.

Then, he came up with an idea. He didn't want your dreaming to be disturbed, did he? He grabbed a piece of notepaper, tape, and a marker. Opening his door slightly, he taped up the scratch-made sign titled:

"The Doctor is Out"

[sunbowo-o]

⚠️ HoO Spoilers ⚠️

ok, so i just finished the last book from HoO and i need to say that, even though i LOVED this saga, i am kinda disappointed with the ending... and here is why:

(tbh, i don't know if these are controversial or general agreement topics, but pls be nice!)

i felt like a lot of things were missing, like, for example, WHY the hell didn't have a scene with Percy and his mother??? not even a LETTER?? 😭 my boy went missing for so long, his mum must be dying from worries and we don't even get a chapter with them both talking?? after everything Sally has done on the first saga?

another character that i felt was forgotten is Grover. tbf, i didn't expect like a whole scene with a long dialogue with him, but, how much it would cost just to say that, for example, Nico saw him, Percy and Annabeth talking together? the og trio. he deserved so much better 💔

ok, so we miss all these, but what do we get?? JASON AND PIPER KISSING! like, i understand the importance of the scene (a new begining and shit) but is not like we haven't seen it happening before, they say it was their first kiss but that part didn't had any impact on me like???? and they're just a OK couple, doesn't even gets close to that Percabeth kiss scene in the end of the last PJO book. so, yeah, was this REALLY necessary??

Leo's "death" was a really weak angst. don't get me wrong, leo is one of my favourite characters of all time, and i know some of the readers got really sad, but i didn't, because i knew he wouldn't die (ok, this was my fault maybe, but i saw that he was the one who narrates the last chapter) and we kinda of knew his plan, i knew he had the cure with him yk?

and, complementing topic 4, the last chapter being about him and Calipso was just 😐😐 like, everyone thinks he is dead, but we know he is not, so it doesn't have this weight anymore, and, then, he goes to Calipso... i know he is obsessed with her, and talk about her throughout all the book, but, why this was the last chapter??? A WHOLE SAGA SAYING ABOUT MONSTERS AND GAIA AND IT JUST END WITH TWO "TEENS" TALKING ABOUT OH YEAH WE DONT KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING BY THE WAY

And, in the topic of monster and battle, the Gaia battle was SO DAMN BORING!!! Ok, so Rick passed 5 whole books saying to readers "hey, pay attention! they can't let Gaia wake up or else will be THE END OF THE WORLD" and we are like "ok lol" and then she wakes up and i was like "OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GOING TO DO?? IS THE END!!! NOOOO!!!" ... she appears... they drag her to the sky... one explosion (and an unnecessary Octavian death) and BOOM! its over. "simple" like that. AND without any relevant deaths.

i am just angry because the end of PJO was wonderful. they had to do hard sacrifices, (Charlie), it had betrayal plot (Silena) and redemption (Silena and Luke). they had to use ALL the forces they could think of and still was a difficult battle. and the main villain was a TITAN!!!!! Gaia was supposed to be SO MUCH DIFFICULT, and yet, it was not. the giants were harder to fight.

and talking about fight. the way that the amazons and the hunters didn't appear back was so 😐😐 too. like, it seemed they were forgotten like Grover and Sally. not even a change of letters? just to guarantee they were ok...

my verdict: pjo CRUSHES hoo

anyway, i know that there's "more" but i also know that The Seven™ will not be all together again, so its just kinda of disappointment to know that was the end... feel free to also give your opinion (but try to avoid future spoilers please!)

(also, srr for my English! 🫶)

[psi-spectacular]

I don't like hazbin hotel (shocker)

A lot of the problems come down to three things: 1. Viv's issue with being unable to let a concept go, 2. Her inability to maintain a consistent tone, and 3. The fact that it only has eight episodes. Look at helluva boss for example. So many villains get cliffhangers that say "oooOoOoOo I'm gonna reappear in another episode, just you wait!!" And they either just don't or the execution is completely flubbed stryker-style. And what is the show supposed to be? Is it a slice of life comedy about imps killing people on the surface? That concept was basically abandoned like five episodes in. A serialized drama about a complex relationship? Nope! the exploration of Blitz and Stolas's toxic relationship is returned to status quo for gag comedy. OOP! We've got two new characters to center the episodes around while abandoning the core cast!

Now look at Hazbin. I really liked the pilots concept! The idea of sinners being redeemed was interesting, the animation was nice, the characters were compelling, and I was really interested to see how they would develop over time and become better people! Then episode one of the new season comes out. Suddenly its about how heaven sucks actually (Off topic but can we talk about how in the opening exposition, Charlie talks about how angels kill demons to keep them from rising against them, and then in the meeting with Adam talks about overpopulation? What's up with that?) and quickly turns into a war against heaven plot.

You know the main concept of the show? Redemption of sinners? Yeah. I can count how many episodes are about that on a couple fingers. And count how many characters are actually there for redemption on two. And there are so many side characters they like to focus on rather than, I don't know, Focus on Charlie?

Thats another problem! Charlie barely has a focus. You'd think, as the main character, she'd get some sort of development, or some kind of arc, or at least more of a personality than "sunshine princess with big dreams". I don't use this word very often or very lightly, but shes very much mary-sue ish. Her obvious issues (IE seemingly weirdly fundamentalist christian ideas on redemption, constant overstepping of boundaries, the fact that she barely seems to put anything into her relationship with Vaggie while Vaggie falls over herself to make sure Charlie's happy, Very visible savior complex) are never discussed or adressed, and the fact that her hotel is based on an idea that doesn't have any evidence of actually even being possible is only ever addressed by antagonists who are supposed to be in the wrong. She doesn't change, she doesn't do much, but still manages to get everyone to sacrifice themselves for a hotel they're supposed to be super attached to. But we're never shown WHY they care.

And don't get me started on the side characters. The V's are only important in 1-2 episodes and never again, Carmilla exists as a plot device, Lucifer's... Lucifer, Adam is a one-note sexist strawman, and they just... Keep introducing characters. Pentious, Cherry, Mimsy, Cannibal town! You care about these characters! You must you must you must!!!! What do you mean you don't know who these characters are? Of course you do! They were in the plot important pilot that you have to get on youtube to watch!

These characters could have been explored so much better if there was more time in the show. Yes, thats the fault of Amazon, but when you're working with constraints, you need to learn how to work within these constraints. Keeping the "Heaven bad, hell good" thing for the second season while leaving the first season to focus on character development would have made the final battle so much more impactful. It's like an anti steven universe. People complain about how much filler steven universe has, but without that "filler" we wouldn't care about the characters as much as we do. Hazbin hotel, on the other hand, is like watching all the "intense, plot important" episodes without any context of who these characters are and why we should care about them.

At some point, when you're working in the industry, you need to learn that you need to trim the fat. Get rid of certain characters and plot points. Kill some characters off if you need. Wait to introduce a concept. If you can only work with a short amount of episodes, focus on making a good story with well developed characters first and a grand finale later. If you can wait, Wait. If you can't, don't. I know there's a second season but I genuinely don't know how it can go from here. Adam's dead, a sinner is redeemed, the hotel was rebuilt bigger and better than ever... what now?

TL;DR Hazbin Hotel reminds me of me and my friends old edgy gods and goddesses discord roleplay from when I was 13 than an actual planned story.

Sorry for the essay. Its honestly painful seeing something I looked forward too for years flop so hard on the execution. I love the concept, the songs, the animation is.... okay, Angel dust is best boy, but everything else is just eh. Mid. It tries to be so grandiose but I just felt bored and very confused throughout the whole thing, and very uncomfortable during episode 4. Its not offensively bad (hell, its barely even as offensive as people say it is) But its just. Not good in my opinion.

[toaspireintodarkness]

"Welcome to the freakshow."

League of Villains x reader?

⚠️TW: Blood, vomiting, neglect/abuse, implication of murder ⚠️

I have no idea what this is-- I had this idea and it just-- yeah.

SLAM.

You could hardly breathe. Blood was all over your hands, splattered all over your clothes as if you were a painter just getting done with a masterpiece. But what you had done was far from a masterpiece. You hadn't meant to. It had just happened—

Oh, face it, you had meant to.

You couldn't take the way they treated you. You couldn't take the way you were treated as if you were an abomination to human kind. It wasn't your fault you were brought into this world. It was their fault. You didn't ask for this life. Ha, you were better without it! It was a living nightmare that never ended. A maze you were stuck in, always turning to the monsters lurking in the shadows.

But now you were the monster.

You were in some strange place, a warehouse that hadn't been used in a decade or more. Dust bunnies lined up in armies, waiting to attack and you wouldn't be surprised if there were spiders and God only knew what else was in here. There was a smell, one that conflicted your nostrils. It tickled your nose, freeing it from the metallic and morbid smell of the crimson staining your body. Cigarettes were one thing, but the faint smell of cup ramen was making your stomach churn in ways it should not. You staggered for a moment, leaning against a palete of old bulk products. You rested your forehead on your arm, your throat tightening as a burning sensation crept up your throat.

"Who the hell is there?"

The voice was low and rough. If a corpse had a voice, that's what it would be. You couldn't answer though. Not without emptying your guts everywhere. 'Oh god, what have I done,' was the only thing running through your head. You should've just ran away. You didn't really need to end their lives, did you? Did they really deserve it?

"Crazy, go check it out."

"Why am I—"

Suddenly, everything it was blurred out as the only thing you could hear was the sound of your own vomit pouring out like a waterfall. Only difference was that it was not pretty and serene. You hadn't even noticed that an ash blond girl, she couldn't be no older than seventeen, was staring rather curiously. Her piercing yellow eyes were dancing over your vulnerable form, her lips curling into a smile as she took in the sight of all the blood.

"Is that your own, or someone else's? Did you kill someone? Oh, look at your hands! You killed someone!"

You killed someone.

You killed... them.

You emptied more out of your stomach, choking back on it. "S-sto–" You gasped for a breath of air. Mucus had filled your nose. You had no choice. It was the matter of survival. The matter of your sanity—or did you even have sanity anymore?

"Toga, I asked what the fuck is..." The rough voice had trailed off before staring at you as well. To him... you looked pathetic. You had blindly found one of the most wanted villain groups while running from whatever the hell it was. He gave a sigh an stepped closer, avoiding stepping into your vomit. His hand grabbed the back of your head, jerking it back so you had to look up at him.

He had darkened turquoise eyes that were small in comparison to his eyes, lacking any light at all. His skin was split by deep purple burn scars that was hanging on by staples that so desperately needed changing. His black hair spiked in every which direction, but it didn't look as though it had gel. The right side of his nose had three piercings, and his lobes were pierced along with the top outer part of his ears.

Now, he did look like he would be a monster lurking in the dark.

"How did you find us?" It was a simple question. You should've been able to answer, but your throat was still sore from emptying your stomach. You still couldn't breath properly.

"I don't think they meant to!" A man wearing a black and grey mask piped up, peeping around the palete. He then pointed an accusing finger at you. "They're a double agent!"

"Shut up!" The burnt man narrowed his eyes at you. His eyes were scanning yours, and while he expected something to be underlying the fear and guilt, he found nothing. However, that didn't mean you were to be trusted. His grip on you slackened. "You need to breath. You'll asphyxiate at this point." You shook your head, and you tried to calm down. You would get to a certain point before what you had done flashed back before your eyes and you were back to gagging.

"I think this was their first kill," Toga gushed. "I remember my first kill. It tasted so–"

"Not helping, Crazy!" Dabi had to skitter back upon bodily fluids leaving your mouth to avoid it getting on him. He sure as hell didn't want to get covered in vomit. He bent over, though cautious of the disgusting liquid that layer the floor. "Listen to me. Whatever reason that you had to do it, you had to do it. It was you, or them–hey! Listen to me!" Dabi grabbed your shoulders, pushing you against the palet and holding you up. "Society will run over you. You did what you had to. You stood up for yourself. You defended yourself. Sometimes we gotta do things that we don't wanna do to survive. It's how our fucked up society works."

You had stopped leaking tears and the nausea had slowly faded, leaving nothing but the raw feeling over your body. You mustered the smallest nod. You still didn't speak—you didn't trust yourself to. Dabi released you, taking a step back. He even checked his shoe to see if he had stepped in one of your puddles, and thankfully, he hadn't. "So you were just running away and found us. Fucking coincidence," he breathed the last part.

"I think it's great! They could be one of us, dont'cha think, Dabi?" Toga reached forward and grabbed your wrist, pulling you to her. You tried to be mindful of not stepping in your own mess as you were pulled into a tight side hug. "Look at'em! They're so cute! Especially covered in all of that blood, it really makes you stand out," Toga gushed. "Do you wanna join the League? You'll fit in great!"

"They'll fit in great alright," Dabi remarked. "Shigaraki will have them dusted the minute he finds out that they can't kill without having a breakdown." Toga's grip tightened.

"But it was their first time! You can't tell me that your first wasn't emotional!" Dabi's stoic gaze said it all. "We can help desensitize them."

"You're annoyingly persistent." Dabi's gaze went back to you. "What do you think about heroes?" The way that 'heroes' fell off of his tongue was icy. It was sour as if he had taste of something bitter on his tongue.

What did you think of heroes?...

You looked down at first. The blood had dried and stained your hands. Over the years... heroes had a chance to help you. All of your teachers did. Your friends had the chance to help, even. The one store keeper on the end of the street who always gave you a discount out of pity. Your neighbors who heard everything that went on, because walls were paper thin.

Dabi was right. You had stood up for yourself. For once in your life, you had stood up for yourself. You had gained your long deserved freedom. You were free as a bird... and despite the crimson substance on you... you couldn't help but to feel relief. You felt happy. You even let out a bittersweet laugh, raising your eyes to meet theirs.

"They've never done anything for me... so why should I care about them? All they care about... is themselves." Dabi had the smallest smirk form, though it only lasted for a brief second as Toga did a small dance and cheered before latching onto you again.

"We're gonna get along just fine!" Dabi started to turn, taking a step away before looking back over his shoulder.

"Welcome to the freakshow."

[pruning-the-minds-garden]

Another one of Those Posts

Mental health and relationship stuff under the cut.

I was trying to be around here more consistently, but life got the better of me for both good and bad reasons. The good is a new job in a more friendly part of the country so I am preparing to move ~3000 miles to the PNW soon. The bad is... well, what we're about to allude to.

It came to a head last night. I was reading a book on female sexuality ("Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski) and realized that much of what's in there could be of interest to my wife. I told her as much. That kicked off a spate of her yelling and crying at me.

Apparently, I am a villain for only caring about female sexuality now that I'm thinking about transition. That is not why I'm thinking thinking about it and in reality I asked my therapist for advice on the subject because of our issues in the relationship and wanting to address them, as well as heading any potential personal issues off at the pass because I have danced that dance before. I have asked prior therapists for similar and not gotten much of use, but this time was different. As soon as I knew it would be useful for her, I shared it with her. That I did not have that book years ago was apparently me intentionally withholding help from her and hurting her in the process. The reasons I did not provide more active support in that and instead gave her the space and resources to solve the problem herself, was three-fold: 1) I did not feel comfortable with interfering in her relationship with her body (i.e. her bodily autonomy) without an explicit say-so, which I never got; 2) She never game me any clear (or even unclear) direction on the kind of help she needed or wanted; and 3) The times I did take the lead, it got so mentally taxing after a while that I had to bow out for my own health. She knew that because I told her, but in her mind that was a conscious decision on my part to hang her out to dry. That speaks to a very... troubling... way she thinks of me in the corners of her mind.

Then she talked about my transition. With a face that twisted at times into what I can only call disgust, she said that she did not know "what she had" and whether I would be a husband, a wife, a spouse, a partner or something else and she wasn't sure she wanted some of those. Now, she has said that she is bisexual for years, and she has supported me in my transition thus far... so that she would reveal that those thoughts and feelings were in her head/heart is... troubling. She says she supports me and affirms my state regardless of what it is, that she loves Me, and says that's enough... but is that true? Does she love me, or does she love me when/if I present masculine and take care of all her needs?

Then, she talked about an incident between us. She'd said she buried the hatchet on that incident and we've talked it to death... but she referred to it in the unfair and reductive way she has in the past, calling it an affair when it was not. It was a consent violation, yes, and I have apologized for that as well as doing my best to make amends... but it was not an affair. Additionally, I don't know how she thinks she has a leg to stand on. She knows me and I am open about everything I do. As well, our relationship started as an affair she had on her ex fiance, without telling me that's what it was, and which happened due to a mismatch between their sex drives. Like, even if that's what it was (which it was not), she ought to understand the reason behind it and have a little forgiveness in her heart for the difficulty therein.

Obviously we need some counseling or something, and that's on the menu if feasible under my new insurance. I just... I don't know what to do with all this. She is treating this like it's my fault for opening the can of worms and everything she said was said in a state of heightened emotion and passion and so isn't really indicative of her thoughts... which, that's fair to an extent... but it also isn't an excuse. She said those things. Those words-as-actions are hers to own, and are her responsibility to deal with the fallout for. They hurt me, a lot. This is also not the first time. I have brought this up with her before, she said she would work on it and change for the better... and now, this.

She has also only gotten less capable of doing anything on her own. More and more chores are my responsibility because her neurodivergent brain just won't let her do them. More and more of her life is my responsibility - things like her student loans which are mine to handle, her prescriptions which I manage, and the bank account which she refuses to check before she makes purchases of things we don't need (but which are nice to have regardless, though doing so at the expense of having any financial cushion is a problem). These things used to not be an issue. I used to be able to trust that she'd take care of the car on her own, but she hasn't gotten the inspection sticker updated for two years nor taken it for an oil change in that time, nor fixed the crack in the windshield, not the headlights. I used to be able to trust that the cats were taken care of, but now I do 100% of the litter box cleaning and 2/3 of the feeding. Things like just maintaining the house, which has fallen apart. I work 40 hrs a week and make 100% of the income for the house... and now it feels like I am doing most of the housework as well. That isn't equitable, when what she does all day is paint-by-numbers, watch Youtube documentaries, and sew/knit/spin. When I get home - and yes, I have brought this up with her several times - she keeps doing those things, but gets mad at me if I don't Just Know which chores need to be done because she has not done them.

None of this feels right, and yet somehow I'M the villain of the tale. I don't think there IS a villain to this story - not me, not her - and that we're both just people... but I very much do not want to be fitted for that Black Hat in her mind, subconsciously or not.

Blah.