#so i don't really remember anything else
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scrawlingwithstyle · 1 year ago
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The thing I've noticed about autism is that it deals in extremes. YES, there are some of us who cry because someone mistreated a stuffed animal, but ALSO there are some of us who can't empathize no matter how hard we try. The existence of one does not negate the other.
I struggle with empathy.
Sympathy is not a problem, but sometimes I can come off as "cold" because I don't know how to react when someone else is hurting or struggling. I never know what to say, or what they want from me when they share their pain.
I have never been able to "put myself in another person's shoes" because I'm not that person, and I've never experienced the things they have experienced. My point of view is fixed, only changing when my own experiences change.
That isn't to say I don't care for other people. It's just that I don't relate to them on certain levels. Often, my best or only course of action is to offer a hug.
Now that I'm older, I've amassed more experience and learned more about my own situation, so sometimes I have small bits of advice to offer. But not everyone wants advice, so that could backfire sometimes as well.
Autistic spaces are getting so much more hostile towards people with low empathy, and it sucks
There was a subreddit I really liked, people were chill, and then there was a sudden influx of people making posts like ‘Autistic people have empathy! Saying we don’t makes us seem like monsters! Thats not a symptom!’ And people making posts explaining that no, actually, some of us do have low empathy got attacked and told they were wrong or ableist? And it sucks, because its just so hard to find a place to exist where you can be seen as not evil? I don’t know, it just hurts a lot to be told that
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dailyloopdeloop · 6 months ago
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loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask
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DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#mirabelle isat#isat spoilers#vaguely. mostly for the tags#i think it'd be sooo funny if like. loop and mirabelle postcanon.#loop has rejoined the party somewhat recently and they are not at all adapting. to be honest. reunion probably happened too soon#bc they are a siffrin which means they are disgustingly sentimental. their ass is not taking the time to discover themself as a new person.#do you really think loop is gonna take their own advice.lol.#lmao even#Ok so anyways i think the party and loop would have a weird thing going on#like theyre all extremely grateful to loop. and they trust loop through the general basis of theyre apparently very dear to siffrin#but fucking nobody knows what to make of this bitch. odile knows they are hiding Something but she has no certain evidence to pin it down.#isabeau can't catch loop alone for more than 5 seconds. has the distinct sense they're avoiding him and he does not know why#bonnie....well tbh i think they'd vibe with loop. bonnie win.#mirabelle. i think she wouldn't really like loop? not at first anyways#do you remember in sasasap mirabelle telling siffrin(loop) that for a long time she thought they were a callous sort of person#bc they never took anything seriously at all. like the whole journey didnt mean anything. until they took an eye for bonnie#i think mirabelle would catch a similar vibe towards loop(lol.) bc like#like loop's main presence in the group is negging siffrin and being weird and dodgy around everyone else#i don't even think they'd be mean to the others but they would do everything in their power to throw the party zero bones#so all mirabelle has to go on for loop is that they're kind of a dickhead to her friend and that they're not receptive to normal group#social activities. i think being on the receiving end of mirabelle's kindness would make loop kind of sad and she'd pick up on it#but like. loop is inexplicably important to siffrin. she doesn't know the details bc neither of them want to talk at all about the loops#and i think siffrin would be especially dodgy abt talking about loop in the interrim between them rejoining and them being Presumed Dead#so mirabelle tries a new strategy to bridge the gap between her and loop. the power of Mutual Haterism#more specifically i think mirabelle would get the impression of loop as being much more of a bitch than they actually are#due to the aforementioned siffrin negging#so like. maybe that's just how they socialize maybe they'd be down to talk about hot takes and gossip a bit
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ineed-to-sleep · 11 months ago
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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again
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thepoisonroom · 8 months ago
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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forestgreenlesbian · 18 days ago
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#my little brother is engaged :/#don’t know if any of you remember me posting about the whole situation like 8 months ago but i feel soo weird#and sad because i want to b happy for him but he’s six yrs older than her and she’s 19..#or i guess twenty now maybe whatever i feel so aggh. and he moved to a different country so i just feel like i’m never gonna see him again#like i knew this was coming they’re both super religious so i was like yeah they’re going to want to get married and have kids fast but.#it just feels crazy. i know that’s selfish but i have such a bad gut feeling about it that i can’t shake#but i can’t do anything about it so. idk. i just feel so lonely when things like this happen because i don't have anyone outside of the#family bubble to talk to about it. and obviously everyone else is like super happy for them. and it's not that i don't like her! i just#don't really? know her? at all which feels weird because we are a very close sibling group and i feel like i know & get on with my other#siblings' partners. i think it's partly like i just don't ever hang around people who are under twenty so she feels really young to me#which isn't her fault obviously but. do feel kind of scared for her getting married at twenty so she can start having babies.... idk idk#and obviously on top of that it's my younger brother so it does feel a little salt in the wound that he's moving on with his life and i am#counting it a win these days if i don't want to kms every three minutes#god it just sucks lol and i can't talk about it 2 anyone so i am venting here
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mashmouths · 3 months ago
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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arttsuka · 4 days ago
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hey ho I just noticed that amongst many of your posts you have some pretty nasty things to say about yourself! As a concerned follower I am here to tell you that does you no good whatsoever, and have expierenced where it can lead you to! (Even when said in jest)
As an outside observer I have determined that exactly 0 of your negative statements are true, so don't believe the lies you tell yourself! Change statements like "my art sucks" to "my art is pretty neat!" (Because it is) "....just kill me" to ".... just give me shrimp" (or fav food/object) "I feel awful and lonely" to " I see the sun rise and its beautiful, I feel nice." And "I have more friends than i realise" ( notice something beautiful or do things you like and appreciate them, you'll start to feel better I promise!
Take a moment to slow down and just breathe and observe all the good things around you (go outside if you have to)
Heres a book that talks about changing your inner monologue for the better, "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter its definitely worth a read
I love you and sending a crushing bear hug to you! 🫂🫂💙💙💙
Unfortunately yes I have many bad things to say about myself (I am my biggest hater).
I've been around some pretty toxic people in the past (and present, most of them are my relatives, yikes) and I guess it's just easier to say negative things about me rather than hear them say things (behind my back).
I try to do better but when you don't fit into society the way other people do, it's kinda disheartening, makes me wanna give up.
Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else honestly, or have some confidence.
I'll definitely try to check out that book, thanks for the recommendation :)
Many hugs to you too anon 🫂🫂
#I'll say my art is pretty neat when that becomes true#honestly I don't always fit society's 'geed person' archetype so I guess that has settled deep in my bones#I have very low empathy(?) I rarely feel 'bad' for other people. sure I don't want anything bad to happen but I don't start crying when I#hear that someone I don't know died. or someone I know. I don't really cry actually. once or twice per 3 months#I have difficulties with expressing my emotions (and I feel like I don't feel fully. not like other people do)#I'm trying to take moments to appreciate life(?) but even life doesn't always feel real. like a chore you have to power through. most days#surprisingly I go outside almost every day for around an hour to walk. the city I live now has a harbor and I love the sea#there are too many people there tho... I don't like people. they're loud and don't pay attention to their surroundings#the times I've been almost ran over by bikes or cars is surreal#not art#text#ask#anonymous#I didn't mean to make you concerned about me. don't be. there really isn't anything you can do#one of my other negative traits is that I'm extremely stubborn. almost nothing can change my opinion about something#I try to do better but that unfortunately isn't always enough#society has failed me on many levels and it's hard to see the 'bright side' when a literal war is happening#and people you know will hate you for who you are#sometimes I use words like 'disheartening' and I can't remember if the translation I have in mind is for the actual word or something else#I don't mean to sound so depressing I just feel like I might actually jave depression. or autism. or just something wrong
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hussyknee · 11 months ago
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Apparently Zionists are harrassing Sudanese people who're risking death to post updates from their own genocide because they can't tell the Sudanese flag 🇸🇩 apart from the Palestinian one. 🇵🇸
Mfers 1) can't even identify what they hate so much, 2) can't leave any Black people alone if their lives depended on it.
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skeletoninthemelonland · 2 years ago
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cw // possible eyestrain
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Sound Sensitivity
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I think many people cognitively understand that retributive justice is often ineffective and simply violent, but they don't want to rid themselves of the almost collective anger mindset that permits this kind of justice to remain in place, even socially. In short, the mindset still treats people as though they must be punished as severely as possible, and when one is wronged, the mindset goes to how violence can be used, which is not inherently the same as righting wrongs.
Justice is complex, and it's messy. That's why it's so important not to treat it simplisticly with only one solution.
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steakout-05 · 3 months ago
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something that had always been really frustrating for me when i was still in math classes in school was trying to watch the teacher actually work the problem out on the board and still not understanding wtf was happening. for some context, i heavily suspect that i have some form of dyscalculia because math and numbers literally do not compute properly in my brain. it'd be too long to explain the full extent of my possible dyscalculia here but math literally does the mental equivalent of maxing out the CPU power and memory of a computer to the point where it freezes and lags to my brain.
math class was always stressful for me because no matter what i did and how much progress i made, there was always a lack of understanding i had when it came to trying to work any math problem out long term and remembering anything. it felt like there was always something i was missing, so when the time came for the teacher to explain and go through a math problem step-by-step on the whiteboard, i made sure i paid as much attention to it as humanly possible as child-to-teenager me could muster and even then i still did not understand how the fuck they solved it, all because of one thing: the teacher pulling a random number completely out of their ass that happened to be the key to solving the problem.
like. i don't think i can illustrate how frustrating and isolating this was to experience with words alone. here i was, paying as much attention as i physically could, trying my damned hardest to memorise each individual step and calculation in order to understand how to get from point A to point B. everything made perfect sense up until the teacher suddenly stops for a second and writes a seemingly completely unrelated number there with no context as to why it's there in the first place, and then, in that singular moment, everything immediately comes crumbling down and i'm left completely confused. and somehow, everyone else around me perfectly understands it except me. like. imagine sitting there, giving the teacher all the attention you possibly could, literally watching and studying their hand movements just to understand every single step, only to be even more confused than your classmates, who you're pretty sure were half-asleep during the explanation, who also say they understand how the teacher came to that conclusion. what. the actual fuck.
when i try to explain how infinitely confusing and irritating this was for me, i'm reminded of a quote from that video Patricia Taxxon made about DHMIS: "The rug is pulled again ... There was never any hope of following the thread, understanding is impossible.". even when i was literally trying my best to possibly follow anything that was happening, the rug still gets pulled out from under my feet and i'm sent all the way back to square one of not understanding a single thing and being confused again. all because the teacher didn't explicitly explain how they got that random number that was apparently singlehandedly necessary for solving the equation and where they got it from, apart from that place being from literally fucking nowhere.
it's really no wonder that i eventually stopped giving a shit about paying attention in math class, because even when i was, it was still daunting and incomprehensible as always. why bother trying anymore when trying still gets you nowhere? trying to ask the teacher where they got that number from was an impossible to understand task as well, as their either snapped back with a "well you should have been paying attention" (even though i WAS but whatever) or they do explain that they added the first two numbers from the equation together or something, but now i'm wondering why they didn't just explain that in the first place like they did with everything else instead of seemingly just assuming everyone would know to do that.
by the way, if i had to give an estimate, my math ability is probably still at like. a 5th grader's level at best. so uh. yeah it's not good. still, it is kinda funny to me though, not only because i do find a bit of humour in the situation, but also because some people are often so quick to judge someone's intelligence purely based on their mathematical abilities alone. like. the idea of someone calling me dumb for still needing to do addition with my fingers despite the fact that my reading and language levels are considered above average is really funny to me lmaooo
#dyscalculia#math anxiety#i was NOT having fun in math class when i was still in school loollll#to this day i still don't know all my times tables#i just know the essential ones like my 2s 5s and 10s#the others i only really partially remember but i still can't actually do beyond multiples of 12#like i partially know what they are but i can't actually DO them in my head without needing to sit there for a minute or two#i can't do quick maths. i just can't do that. there are too many numbers to keep track of and count at once to do quickly.#like i can't just conjure up a number like a fucken genie like other people seem to do. i need to like. actually count first#i hate quick maths games so much dude. it's so stressful. i physically cannot keep up with it and it's really frustrating and unfun#it's the same when people tell me to do an equation really quickly. like first of all fuck you#and second of all my brain WILL short circuit#anyway yeah this is a vent#making this not rebloggable for that reason..... sorry fellas#i'm still hoping other people with dyscalculia may find this relatable or cathartic#god how that particia taxxon quote strikes my very soul so so much.....#the entire video is really good but that quote specifically. holy shit#understanding is impossible. that is how i feel. that perfectly explains how i feel about math. understanding is impossible. wow.#i feel like data repeating ''i am not less perfect than lore'' to himself about that quote. understanding is impossible.#that is how i have felt about math for such a long fucking time oh my god#understanding anything to do with math and numbers feels impossibly incomprehensible for me.#basic concepts make sense. i understand how the four basic operations work. i just can't understand much else from that.#too many numbers overflow my brain#it takes literal actual power to be able to do one sheet of equations for me#i might not even finish it just because it's so difficult and uninteresting for me#i'm rambling again auahgh. the basic point of this post is that i don't understand math and math teachers don't understand how to make-#-any basic fucking sense. apparently. anyway yeah official steakout dyscalculia coming out post (i probably have it)#(i'm not diagnosed yet but i'm 80% sure i have it)#(the other 20% is me gaslighting myself) (augh)
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skrunksthatwunk · 11 months ago
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sometimes you need to go back and listen to the music you liked when you were 13 because it's good for you. and no im not talking about like emo nostalgia in this case we have enough posts about that. im talking about dad rock. actually im just talking about barenaked ladies
#idk if i'd call barenaked ladies dad rock per se but every once in a while i'll hear a song and go MAN. I REMEMBER THAT#i had so many oc animatics in my head about this one....#anyway skrunk lore moment but i had a really intense bnl phase for like 8 months in early middle school which explains a lot about 13 y/o me#in a neutral way but like. yeah. anyway go listen to box set for me.#you don't have to listen to anything else even though i still have a great fondness for a lot of it bc it's one of those things where it's#so familiar to me that i don't even know if i think it's good or not. but box set goes hard and i'll stand by that#in the car and hello city and i'll be that girl and spider in my room AND CALL ME CALMLY and blame it on me and alternative girlfriend and#the flag and when i fall and the king of bedside manor and am i the only one.... ohgh#AND YES IT'S BASIC BUT IF I HAD $1000000 IS COZY. IT'S CUTE OK#OH and it's all been done for all your immortal/reincarnation ship needs. well. a certain vibe anyway#and alcohol. and OH MY GOD I FORGOT JANE. AND INTERMITTENTLY and break your heart.... waaaaaaa#man they have way way more albums than i thought they had#i can only really speak for gordon born on a pirate ship and maybe you should drive actually but. i like those#or i Did like them. havent relistened but even looking at the titles is making me giggly like... i forgot some of these#ALSO SHOEBOX IS A FRIENDS SONG?? WHUH?#or maybe it was used in friends? idk. no thoughts on friends but they did music for just the dumbest shit. ignore that for me please#ANYWAY. going to go listen to all of that now bc im having a moment. if you listen to it and don't like it um. don't think less of me lol <3
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mewkwota · 2 years ago
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After copious periods of staring at reference art, I had another Trevor Moment and realized Julius’ neckerchief got too far towards the middle. So that visible peek of his chest was not my personal doing-- it’s necessary.
(This comic is unrelated to the point of these sketches)
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astradyke · 6 months ago
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okay hi i'm Back Here again general thoughts of my own :3
I - i think the board game is going to be a definite thing happening, possibly alongside or in lieu of a new merch drop, but i don't think it's going to be the big project. if we're going off of dan's later and a little bit after that or whatever strange thing he said, i could see this as being one of those two, alongside something bigger. i know someone said in someone's inbox (sorry horrid memory) that Relatable took on new copyrights so i think this is near definite
II - i could see how they're gearing up for a tour in the sense that we're in the d&p renaissance but i genuinely don't think they'll even start ramping up for a tour until at least next year. dan wrapped up WAD like a few months ago and we're so new into the consistent content gig that switching into the rhythm of a tour feels weird. that being said i think most likely, 2025/6 d&p tour that is (potentially) their last collab tour.
III - i think if DINOK is going to happen it's gonna be a book and i'm pretty confident on this? in which case i would actually genuinely read it; i love d&p so bear w even though this sounds like a haterism but i actually don't love their on stage scripted comedy sometimes so it would be a win for me if DINOK was a book (also think he's maybe hinted at this?)
IV - i think the odds of them doing a film/series of some kind is HIGHLY LIKELY and personally i would annihilate this i would be ripping at it with my teeth you understand me. i could see this mostly being some kind of fictional though or maybe half fictional half biopic (you know what i mean?) but i know these guys have got Creative Ideas and i think whether it's original concept they act, or them riffing off their own lives with something (kinda DINOK-esque), it'd be something they haven't really done before and would definitely qualify as like New Project
V - bonus: it takes two #2 before the end of june. i believe this. it might be the 29th it might be the 30th but i think it'll be pre-announcement, and i'm expecting announcement early july
tldr: merch + board game, then film or series; tour in 2025 or 2026
anyway! i yap more than daniel james howell sorry (i'm always saying this) but lmk thoughts if u have them!! especially about what the film/series might be because if u can't tell i'm kinda waffling lol idk what it might be
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hershelwidget · 1 year ago
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wait hang on
HANG ON
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DO YOU SEE MY VISION
#professor inkling#count bleck#TELL ME YOU SEE IT. IM NOT CRAZY#*writes yet another octonauts crossover au-*#OK BUT LISTEN HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT#H E A R ME  O U T#in case you're wondering if it's just the monocles NO IT RUNS DEEPER THAN THAT I PROMISE#1. both have been around a long time and founded some sort of group to further their goals (octonauts & team bleck)#2. fancy clothes (yeah inkling's in just a bowtie but remember he's straight up an octopus) that stand out among their peers#3. speaking of that last point: unusual anatomy (one does NOT look a fish and the other is a head torso and floating hands. nothin else)#4. i kinda don't wanna have to pull the mafia au card on this one but if I WAS then: tragic backstories and tragic motives#though then again do we REALLY know anything about inkling- like do we R E A L L Y?? his backstory could be tragic they just aint tellin..#5. avid book readers (bleck let a book tell him how his life was supposed to go this man is clinically into books)#6. defense mechanism that involves darkness (octopus ink & a bLaCk HOLE-)#7. if you see either of them walking it Don't Look Right#8. this is more of an implied thing for them but: knows a LOT about the people they gathered for their causes#9. both from children's media that gets DARK sometimes without warning#10. sometimes they say things and the people around them are just ''what''#11. love interests (ones outright saying it and the other is again just implied but STILL ITS ANOTHER POINT SOOO)#12. ok fine. yes it was the monocles at first but then i thought about it MORE so HA#feel free to add on if i missed something
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uselessnbee · 2 years ago
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ok but like the fall from the quarry before El saved Mike was so high like he didn't barely jump and then was immediately saved he fell a long way
just watching it is terrifying imagine how terrified Mike must have felt imagine him regretting jumping but knowing there's no way back and he could only watch as the ground neared as he neared his death like yes he was saved but that moment could have lasted a second and still be traumatising holy shit he was 12 im gonna throw up
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