#so i apologise

[astracora]

Reckless Fool

Characters: Sylus x gn!mc

Warnings: Lots of hurt/some comfort.

Word Count: 970

Written: 29th December 2024

Notes: Pre-relationship Sylus/MC, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in. I finally got out the lil brain thing that was like 'MC yells at Sylus'. There's so many memories involving this, one day we'll get a memory where MC is gentle with his wounds.

Masterlist

He’s reckless. That’s what you’ve settled on.

Throwing himself into danger. Getting himself injured.

He can’t die, so Sylus takes injury after injury. Covers you in battle, lets you shoot him, all in the name of that.

You know he can feel pain, he’s told you so.

You know that for some reason his evol just… stops. Not working, not healing, and those are the moments you fear your heart might stop.

When he’d been cursed by the cats, you’d worried that made him killable. On edge, angry at him when he followed you on a mission, his tail a stark reminder he didn’t have his powers.

It’s a stupid thing that finally breaks you.

He covers you when some kid on a bike is not paying attention. Pulling you into his arms. It’s stupid, if a gunshot to the heart didn’t kill the man. You doubt a kid on a bike would.

It doesn’t matter though, you feel the anger, the worry, the frustration settle in your gut.

He’s reckless, and you hate it.

You’re silent as you both walk home, he tries to talk to you, but you can’t respond with anything other than a word, or a grunt. It stews and it burns.

The feeling dregs up things you don’t want to think about. Fire and ash. Ice speared through skin. It hurts.

The moment you get through the apartment door, Sylus finally reaches out, hand clasping around your wrist as you keep walking, pulling you back. Whirling around to look at him. Whatever look you must have on your face, whatever he must see in your eyes causes his to widen. “Kitten?”

“Do you want to die?” You snarl, voice ice cold but trembling. His surprise gives you enough time to rip your hand from his grasp. Pulling away from him like his touch burns you.

You haven’t felt that since he held your throat in his grasp.

“I told you-”

The snarl is unbidden and unfamiliar, like you’ve grown fangs, become a beast with scales and horns. “You can’t die. You can’t die.” You reach up to push him, hands planted against his chest. Forcing him against the door. “So you’ve said. Like it changes anything. Like I feel any less horrific when I see you injured or bleeding.”

Sylus is a strong man, you’ve seen him fight and survive things that most would cower at. You’ve seen him lead and forge forwards. He has never been anything other than a pillar of strength, despite his words that the strong can’t always be strong. He has always tried to be, with and for you.

You feel sick to your stomach. Is this what you’ve done? Made him this reckless beast, in order to keep you safe?

You think about the injuries you’ve stitched up, the pain hissed through his teeth, the way he turned you away when he pulled bullets out of his flesh. ‘So you don’t have anymore nightmares of me.’

Like he knew intimately that the first time you lay awake thinking about his threat to your life.

It bubbles and it ripples, lava in your stomach, melting through you.

You pound a fist on his chest, as he stands there, hands wavering. Taking your expended frustrations. Salt on your cheeks as tears spill from your eyes, “Why don’t you care about yourself more?”

Pound.

“Why aren’t you more careful?”

Pound.

“Why don’t you stop throwing yourself into danger?”

Pound.

Pound.

Pound.

Skin under your fists as you hit, and hit, and hit. The pain burning through you.

It cracks and it splinters and you fall inwards and forwards, crumpling in on yourself. Sobbing, and breaking, and crumbling. He catches you as you fall, following you to the ground and pulling you up and into his lap as you shatter to pieces.

Pressing you against the chest you hit, holding you tightly, hands shaking against your skin.

“I can’t lose you too.” You rattle out, cracked and quiet. Mumbled into this skin, carried to him on tears.

He sighs against your hair, pressing a kiss against your head and when he speaks he sounds like he’s close to tears too, “I’m not going anywhere.”

You shake your head against him, “You can’t promise that, no one can.”

“No, I can’t, but as long as I can, as long as there’s any life in me, I’ll crawl to you if I have to.”

You hiccup, and cling to him. Trying to fuse, to be one, “It’s not enough.”

Sylus nods, “It’s not.” He uses both hands to pull your face away from him, so that he can look right into your eyes. Deep red, filled with tears he can’t shed, but trembling and wavering like a weak flame, “It’s never enough, but I won’t go down easy Beloved.”

You think of the ash and fire, of things taken from you, of lost memories and broken promises. You think of all the ways the world has failed you. You think of every night when you can’t sleep. Thinking of things you wish you could forget. As thumbs stroke your cheek, and this man who wants to be strong for you breaks his back against the torrent, you reach for his. Tracing under his eye, leaning forwards to place a kiss there.

For a moment you feel a ghost of a tear on your lips, before the sensation disappears. “Not just you.” You manage to let out, “Both of us.”

His chuckle is relieved and broken all in one, and he closes his eyes at your touch, nodding against your hold. “Both of us. Together.”

As you hold each other, against the cold and against the ashes, you whisper your apologies in kisses against his chest. Everywhere you hit, to scatter the fear to the shadows.

[fortheloveofaussiegrit]

Mark Webber in Brawn: The Impossible Formula 1 Story

[the-dist-ortionist]

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE‼️‼️

[poisonedfate]

Any merlin scenes you'd want spn characters to experience or vice versa?

Personally I think merthur shoulda done more destiel style wall slams

oh my god, your brain works in magical ways, because this is a question and a half!!!

i definitely agree with the wall slam thing, but only if it's merlin doing the slamming. arthur yanks him around enough as it is (and i mean this affectionately). other characters can do as they please, though.

there's definitely parallels already in place between the shows with magical beings/creatures just being one of many, but i think it would be interesting to put merlin characters into alternate universes or timelines like supernatural has often done, even if it wouldn't necessarily fit the theme of the show as well. it's a bit more than just a scene exchange, but it could be connected back to destiny and choices made by characters, actually throwing them into the deep end and making them live through one of the possible timelines for a bit, because, yeah, the show has visions and magical tools, but genuinely misplacing the characters in the universe would be quite fun to see, i think.

as for supernatural, because apparently i've decided to give at least one for each...yknow, this ones somehow harder for me. i could say more sword fighting, but exchanging weapon for weapon feels a little...unfulfilling. the more i think about it, the more similarities i can find between the shows. yknow, if merlin can borrow their slamming, maybe supernatural can borrow whatever merthur has going on - the yanking of it all. i'd love to give a more serious answer too, but i cannot think of anything that hasn't at least partially been done already.

[rioblitzle]

working retail

[twinliches]

my friends held an intervention for me to "stop asking intimidately specific questions". i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently "a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes". turns out my curious nature is "scaring the hoes"

[piccolo-reads]

introducing - khanh reads wicked!

preamble: i want to read it bc i want to watch the musical and then the movie bc i am a pedantic nerd who wants to experience media (specifically media which has been released in a series) in the order it was released

prologue - chap 4

- very obvious intentional choice in the prologue to refer to the witch only as The Witch, holding off on introducing her name. i guess reading this you have to set yourself in an era before the musical established elphaba as a sympathetic ‘villain’, and people only knew her as the wicked witch. the prologue maintains that distance, because her name would have personalised her

- i have had some slight spoilers from the book/musical, so reading the prologue it was very interesting to keep track of what the scarecrow is saying. i’m not sure how much of his previous personality he retains, but very interesting that he doesn’t (or minimally) partakes in the gossiping (it was mostly the tinman and the lion)

- the first chapter of any fantasy novel, as always, the worldbuilding is dizzying

- but also as a healthcare worker i cannot take the name melena seriously

- wow 8 pages in and we’ve already got commentary on the double standards of childbearing between the genders

- ah, classic ‘pastor’ figure who is subtly hypocritical and doesn’t care about his wife giving birth and his first child being born. love. and of course he preaches against ‘wickedness’ which sets him up perfectly for having an imperfect daughter

- but also, very interesting that he is preaching against idolatry, specifically of automaton and machinery and spectacle, and the first 2 chapters tell of how the people are rapt by and follow the stories that this machine dragon tells. is it setting up how oz follows the spectacle of the wizard even though they don’t know him or what goes on behind the scenes

- also the “singing” melena hears is fascinating. is that the baby singing?

- lmao the “the devil is coming” / “don’t say that on the day our child is coming” , how very macbeth

- of course there’s a mother maiden crone at the birth of a witch!!!!

- she was born in a graveyard for desecrated souls???

- she tasted blood before milk???

- again, as a healthcare worker, i can’t recommend the ideal birthing plan of sedating the mother, delivering the baby, then leaving the still unconscious mother with their infant in the rain

- also, is there? foreshadowing? to the fact that the dragon was made of green leather and silver claws and it came to town and baby witch was born?

- also also, there is definitely foreshadowing in the fact that there’s been hella drought and when baby witch is born it storms. ironic, given her hydrophobia

- the entire third chapter makes me feel so sorry for elphaba. her father referring to her as ‘it’. wanting to _exorcise_ her. only nanny giving her the benefit of the doubt and even then being disgusted by her. all for being born the wrong colour

- it really can be read through a queer lens or a neurodivergent lens or a disabled lens, or any lens involving an ‘other’

[headsaw]

is it an illegal manoeuvre to draw fanart of ur own fic?

[somewhereincairparavel]

jason is the most wattpad y/n ever bc he ties his platinum blonde locks into a messy bun and he stares at ppl with his electric icy blue orbs and gets sold to wolves by his mom

[littleogreboii]

i see a lot of people talk about edward being disabled in fma, but it's less often talked about how alphonse is also disabled. i think it's partially because alphonse doesn't experience physical pain like edward so for a majority of the series, he's not having any of those kind of symptoms, but he is still disabled. also because alphonse's experiences are unique. like you don't see ant walking, talking suits of armour in real life (unless they're piloted by a human being physically inside them) and in world, there are about 3 others like alphonse).

alphonse is dependent on edward's survival to function. after fighting scar for the first time, alphonse is literally in pieces. he can't walk or anything until edward is in a position to fix him. similarly his body is dependent on nutrients from edward's body. like there's the point towards the end where edward gets impaled and alphonse collapses. furthermore, these periods where alphonse collapses start to become debilitating towards the end of the series and massively alter his daily living.

also, alphonse constantly talks about how upsetting it is for him to not feel any physical sensations. yeah, he's not feeling physical pain, but he's also not feeling the warmth of a fire, the sun on his face, or the fluffiness of the cats he keeps petting. he talks a lot about not being able to eat or sleep, and how there's a lot of foods he wants to try.

there's another thing that highlighted by edward at one point. alphonse's body doesn't regenerate at all. the parts scar destroys are gone forever; edward stretches out the metal that alphonse has left to repair his body. and obviously human beings don't regrow limbs, but imagine if your skin didn't ever heal over a cut. how long would your body last?

also alphonse gets told several times that his body is great throughout the series, and he literally argues against it every time, because to him it is shit. like he is missing some of his senses just for some supposedly immortal body that isn't even immortal.

even once alphonse gets his own body back, the amount of physical therapy the boy has to go through. his body has essentially been doing nothing and only receiving what nutrients it can get from edward for years. by the end of the series, he's still using a cane as a walking aid. it's unknown whether he requires that cane for the years to come, but for at least a period of time he requires a mobility aid. I don't know enough to say what effect muscle decay from inactivity and severe malnourishment during a major portion of his teenage years would have long term.

[im-a-little-kit]

has anyone done this yet

[lazylittledragon]

cringe culture needs to die because when i was 17 i printed out the entire player's handbook and monster manual with my unlimited school printing credit and also wore a black velvet cape the first time i ever DMed and somehow still thought i was too cool for dnd novels. who tf did i think i was fooling

[cherryfennec]

Summer Times

Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!

[smallpapers]

“He can wrestle,” I tell Haymitch. “He came in second in our school competition last year, only after his brother.”

-

I hear Peeta’s voice in my head. She has no idea. The effect she can have. Obviously meant to demean me. Right? But a tiny part of me wonders if this was a compliment. That he meant I was appealing in some way. It’s weird, how much he’s noticed me. Like the attention he’s paid to my hunting. And apparently, I have not been as oblivious to him as I imagined, either. The flour. The wrestling. I have kept track of the boy with the bread.

[queruloustea]

more archives :))

[satoruzlove]

the sound of water hitting the shower floor gets louder and louder as kenji walks up the stairs of his beautiful house. he’s called your name at least five times, with no response. he figured that you’re taking a shower , which you are. you literally told him that you were going to, but it was fifteen minutes ago and he misses you. so without warning he opens the door, so quietly that you don’t hear it.

the shower door is translucent- so he can’t see you. he sits on the marble sink, back facing the mirror and he fiddles with his phone. you’re about to reach for your shampoo, and as he sees your hand peek out of the glass- he speaks.

“i’m in here,” kenji announces, and he sees your hand falter. your head peaks out the glass now, and you’re scowling at him albeit playfully- but he’s grinning at you like an idiot. just as your mouth opens, kenji’s head tilts and he’s simply admiring you. even from a distance, your eyelashes are all wet and clumped together, your face wet and shiny-

“what are you doing in here?” you ask him,and it comes out softer than you intended. he tucks his phone into his pocket, messy black hair in his eyes. �� i missed you. so i just thought i’d sit here, y’know,” he paused, shrugging almost helplessly, “ wait for you.” you huff a laugh and his smile widens-

“you look pretty,” kenji praised. you look at him with confusion and his heart just thumps harder in his chest. “ it’s actually really annoying. you look pretty all the time,” he adds with a little scrunch of his face- and you throw your towel at him. he laughs, looking playfully offended as he catches it and hangs it around his shoulders like a badge of honour.

“that’s not how you say thank you,” kenji laughs, pretended to be offended. “ and good luck getting out of the shower now, by the way. ‘cause i’m not giving this back.” he smirks deviously, standing. you’re about to shut the shower door on his face as he approaches you but he grabs your face just in time. his hands become wet from your hair, as he holds your beautiful face and kisses your lips with no room for you to wiggle away.

“see ya,” he titters, and you have no choice but to let him slip away as you slink back into the cubicle of the shower- grinning like an idiot- named kenji sato. the love of your life.