#so i am being self-indulgent tbh

[that-butch-archivist]

"For femmes in particular, feminism's failure was its pejorative understanding of femme as equivalent to patriarchally imposed femininity, rather than alternatively a positive understanding of femme as a critical approach to femininity. In its (mis)conception of femme, feminism denied femme its radical and critical nature. In doing so, feminism elided differences of class and race in relation to femininity, therefore not recognizing the range of femininities assumed for divergent purposes across different communities. While feminism's analysis of femininity as oppressive was useful for some women, certainly an understanding of the way that femme femininity is subversive and empowering seems crucial for many women. In reading femininity through femme, our project takes as its subject a femininity that is transgressive, disruptive, and chosen. For example, some women, who might otherwise reject dominant cultural standards of feminine beauty, graft a chosen and empowering femininity onto their bodies as femmes."

-- "An Introduction to Sustaining Femme Gender," written by Laura Harris & Liz Crocker. (Emphasis in bold mine.)

[mochiajclayne]

Marineford Law is no question interesting to me because he pulled off a surprise, motherfucker moment and the timing was so good to the point that both pirates and marines least expected it.

Before I proceed with this self-indulgent lawlu meta post, I will go ahead and say that everything that happened between them in Marineford is a catalyst of establishing their connection later on in the future arcs. I am a firm believer that those feelings™️ started to truly bloom in Punk Hazard and went downhill in a good way in Dressrosa.

Long post ahead. Enjoy!

When I was rewatching Marineford arc, the part where Buggy was already carrying an unconscious and injured Luffy and Jimbei, their conversation sparked my interest.

Highlighting the bit where Buggy was confused about Law's verbal tic of using the suffix -ya in referring to anyone, overall doubting him, then asking for Law's name. Don't forget that Law is a little shit (affectionate) so he proceeded to ignore all of those questions to say this:

Interestingly enough, this part is tricky to translate. I found two translations that closely encapsulate what Law wanted to say here but mind you, and I will sound redundant about this with everything that has got to do with Trafalgar Law's speech patterns: he likes speaking in runarounds, purposely using terms with double meanings and connotations on them, and he's both reticent and cryptic. (I wouldn't say not to trust on his words but don't take them at face value.)

Law described his connection with Luffy as 悪縁 (akuen) which directly translates as evil destiny or connection.

Forgive me for a bit of sidetracking but the kanji used for akuen is the same with Robin's epithet which is "Demon Child" (akuma no ko). To further elaborate, 悪 (aku) means evil--both as intent and violating a moral code. It is also used to refer as the direct opposite of good.

Going back to 悪縁 (akuen), in true Law fashion, this word doesn't only mean evil destiny or connection. Depending on the context, it can also mean unfortunate love.

(It sounds tragic coming from him, isn't it? If your mind was blown after this part, no worries, I am too. This part gave me so much whiplash when I was researching about it.)

So, considering these two interpretations of 悪縁 (akuen), that begs the question, what is Law's connection with Luffy?

On surface-level, they are enemies as Law said so himself. They're rivals when it comes to One Piece. Their common ground, which is only known among people that Law trusts the most, is sharing the same secret name of D. However, I will take one step ahead and say that they both went through the same tragic fate of losing their loved ones, for being weak and powerless to protect them. They were both involved in circumstances where if they were capable enough, they could've saved the person they loved the most. Doomed by the narrative and subjected to trauma that breaks their heart and spirit should they be lesser men to handle such misery and grief. It is unfortunate, disastrous, and cursed to love fully knowing the fact that the other person could die like the ones before them but these two have the biggest heart.

Of course, Law will never say it directly. Thus, settling for 悪縁 (akuen).

It gets better. He did say 悪縁も縁 (akuen mo en) and 縁 (en) itself means fate or destiny (especially a mysterious force that binds two people together). Additionally, も (mo) is also a particle that is used for emphasis.

The implication, in turn, of what Law said to Buggy can be translated this way: Strawhat-ya and I (will) eventually be enemies, but an evil connection is (the futuristic possibility of Luffy becoming his enemy) is fate (that binds them).

Law made sure to emphasize that their "evil connection" is fate: specifically, that mysterious force brought them together and compelled him to be there, that he was meant to sail to Marineford, and help Luffy escape.

These two translations are the closest that I found to be accurate but it's still scratching the surface of what Law said:

This entire panel between Ivankov and Law makes it funnier because he clocked him IMMEDIATELY.

Ivankov asked if he's friends with Luffy to which he replied: no.

He also emphasized that that he doesn't have any obligation to help him but then went on to say this:

親切 (shinsetsu) means kind, generous, gentle, considerate. 不安 (fuan) refers to anxiety, uneasiness, worry, apprehension. These are surprisingly direct words but of course, Law had to go back and be cryptic again when he followed up with 理屈 (rikutsu), which could mean two things: theory, reason, logic or (unreasonable) argument, excuse.

I think this panel did a good job for translating it.

Law himself is providing Ivankov here the benefit of the doubt. To reiterate, Ivankov beats him to the punch which makes their entire interaction so funny.

Again, brilliant translation for directly calling out Law's bullshit. Lmao. Ivankov says 直感 (chokkan) here. It means intuition, instinct, hunch. Please take the next statement that I will say with a grain of salt but "instinctively moving your body" is usually associated with the context of being reckless to the point of directly exposing oneself to danger, consequences be damned, in order to protect someone.

Even Law himself acknowledged that he's not obligated to be there, so why?

Unfortunately, this is the elephant in the room that Law will never address. Several characters even made sure to point out that he helped Luffy two years ago and he purposely dodges that topic.

One thing I can guarantee is that Law never did it to get Luffy to agree for the alliance. Hell, he thought of the alliance after reuniting with Luffy! He adjusted his plans by then. Additionally, he never used the fact that he saved Luffy's life as his bargaining chip and leverage to get him on board the alliance.

Lastly, this is too much for saving a life on a whim, isn't it, Law?

[bitchapalooza]

Luffy getting most of his genetics from Crocodile….. crocodile feeling all the more upset because he actually looks more masculine with these features than he did before transitioning… if you support trans rights, support trans wrong too, Crocodile should be allowed to commit homocide on his own child 😤

[silusvesuius]

this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑

[moonyspetwolf]

So I’ve written over 14k words of a wolfstar pirates of the caribbean au and I need to know if anyone would read it if I posted it on ao3

[myfriendgoo94]

Heya, today is my birthday. I’m 30 now and I’m cautiously hopeful but also having a bit of an existential crisis. I was never supposed to make it to this age. Something in my brain tells me that this is the beginning of the end of my life, which is obviously bullshit, but those feelings are intense to say the least and easy to let spiral out of control.

BUT!! Here are some facts:

1: my early and mid 20s were garbage. I’m willing to believe plenty of ppl have good times during this time but i didn’t.

2: i know myself better than i ever have, and i even sorta like myself a lil bit. DEFINITELY not every day but more and more often then i ever did before. I’m getting downright comfortable with myself, which is frankly shocking to me.

3: i’m prettier than i’ve ever been before. Even looking at pictures from a year ago i almost don’t recognize myself and that’s a great feeling. The dysphoria is as bad (if not slightly worse) than it’s been in the past, but when i *am* feeling attractive i feel crazy attractive. So that’s a win i think.

4: this has literally been the best year of my entire life. No competition. Like it’s not even *close* lol. I’ve really come into my own with fashion, restarted my love affair with both music and books, became very proud of my ability to cook, and i even managed to get engaged to the love of my life! This one is by far the best.

So, while i’m indeed feeling strange and a lil sad about my 20s being over, i can at least take solace in the above facts. Sry if this was meandering or self-indulgent but i sorta needed to get all of this off my chest tbh.

(ALSO: if you wanna be a sweetheart and get me a present my amazon wishlist is pinned to the top of my page, and if you wanna support me/see me naked my onlyf@nz link is in my bio ☺️)

[guiltyasdave]

a long time coming

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: You were supposed to go to a concert with your best friend. You end up going with her dad instead.

word count: ~1.1k

tags/warnings: best friend's dad!Dave, fluff, allusions to smut, huge age gap, able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, please be warned: Dave has inappropriate (though reciprocated) thoughts about his daughter's best friend - if that makes you uncomfortable, don't read

a/n: daphne @sizzlingcloudmentality and i were freaking out about those new photos of pedro, and because daphne apparently wants me dead, she said that it's giving bfd!dave who's at a concert with you and also provided me with a snippet that still has me in a chokehold and that's part of this story now. i am already experiencing heavy brainrot because i'm going to the eras tour in three (3) days and this was the final nail in my coffin tbh. i should be working on my dress, but instead i did this. the most self indulgent shit i've ever written lmao, please enjoy <3

follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates and find my whole masterlist here :)

dividers by @saradika-graphics <3

“Please, daddy? Please?” 

Dave sighs, rubbing a hand over his forehead. Molly’s hoarse voice keeps pleading with him before it dissolves into a fit of coughs. 

With a groan, she lets her head fall against the pillows, wide eyes still trained on him. 

“No one else wants to go, and I can’t let her go alone, I’d feel terrible. Please?” 

She pouts at him, knowing fully well that her father doesn’t deny her anything when she looks at him like this. 

“Fine. If you’re sure that she’s okay with it?” 

“She is! I already asked her.”

Dave cocks a brow at his daughter, earning himself an exhausted but triumphant grin. 

“Don’t look at me like that. It will be fun!”

Admittedly, Dave really has much more fun than he expected when his daughter all but begged him to accompany her best friend to the concert that she wanted to go to herself before she got sick. 

He knows most of the songs, has been witness to you and Molly singing along to the music while dancing through his kitchen often enough. It’s not bad music by any means, and the show is nothing short of spectacular. 

It’s not the reason he’s enjoying himself so much though. He’s barely watching the show, eyes only occasionally flicking towards the stage. 

His gaze is fixed on you, has been since before the show even started. Watching you interact with other fans, beaming smiles and giggles, eagerly exchanging bracelets, excitedly cooing at the especially pretty ones. 

Meeting your eyes when you turned to him, not able to suppress his own smile at the sparkle in them. Suppressing the flicker of something in his chest when your fingers wrapped around his wrist, tugging it closer to put a few bracelets on him as well. You don’t seem to notice the faint blush that’s rising up in his cheeks at the unexpected touch. 

He’s watching you bouncing on your feet seconds before the show starts, snaps a few photos of the pure joy on your face without you noticing. Just to send them to you later, having enough experience from being the father of two daughters to know how much you’ll love them. After that, he’ll delete them from his own phone. Of course he will. 

He’s watching you dance, your body moving to the beat of the music, your lips forming every word. Your silhouette shimmering with the lights reflecting off your dress. It’s mesmerizing. You dance with the girls beside you sometimes, shouting lyrics at each other. Other times, you turn to him. He doesn’t protest when you take his hands, starts moving with you without a second thought, starts singing the words that he knows along with you. You’re laughing, your eyes shining with pure happiness. It’s intoxicating, and he wants more, wants all of it, wants to be part of that happiness. He doesn’t remember the last time he smiled this wide, the last time his body felt this light. 

It takes a long time, longer than it should, until he remembers why this is bad. Until the weight comes crashing back into him. Until he remembers that he shouldn’t feel like this with you. 

You’re so much younger than him. His daughter’s friend. His daughter who asked him to come here with you, because she trusted that you’d be safe with him. 

Your brow furrows when you catch his eye and notice the change in his expression. No. He wants you to enjoy yourself, doesn’t want to be the reason for any kind of worry for you right now. He allows himself to drink in your energy right now, to let a smile grow on his face again. 

There’s no harm in indulging just for one night. Just a little bit. No one has to know. Least of all you. 

So he keeps singing with you, keeps letting you move with him. Keeps watching. 

It’s easy, being with you, talking to you. Effortless in a way that he’s not used to. 

It’s just because you’re at his house more often than not, going wherever Molly goes. It has to be. 

But it’s different, your giggles ringing out in the confines of his car, not mixed with his daughter’s, the sound that he knows. And he’s the one who’s elicited those laughs from you. 

"Explain it again, please. You’ve glued every single of these stones onto your dress?" He laughs and gives you another once over, glad he can disguise his inappropriate ogling with an appreciating glance. Act like he’s studying the intricate, shimmering patterns on the fabric. Not the way your tits are straining against the low cut over your chest. Not the way the skirt has ridden up your thighs, exposing a new inch of bare skin. "Great job, sweetheart. You look good. The dress looks good, too." 

He wonders how the dress would look bunched up around your waist. Or on the floor of your apartment. If your skin is as soft as it looks in the dim shine of the red light he’s stopped at. How it would taste under his tongue. The sweet sounds you would make when his teeth dig into you. 

You breathe a thank you and bite your lip at the compliment, and his cock twitches with interest. Wrong, wrong, so wrong.

He has to be imagining the way that you keep glancing his way, stealing looks when you think that he doesn’t notice. Wishful thinking on his part. 

He pulls up in front of your apartment building, killing the engine and turning towards you. You’re already facing him, more shy than you’ve looked all evening. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you say softly, lips pulling up into another smile. “I’ve had a great time. I— I hope you did too.” 

His hand lands on your thigh before he can actively think about it. A soft gasp escapes you, but you make no move to back away from his touch. 

“Trust me, I did.” 

He doesn’t intend for it to come out as low and breathy as it does. Teeth dig into your lips once more. Your contemplative gaze burns into him. 

You inch closer, close enough that he can feel your breath against his face. 

Wrong. He swallows thickly, forces his grip off of you. You blink, eyes growing wider, the growing tension’s fog lifting from you. Clearing your throat, you sit up straighter. 

“Good night, sweetheart.” 

He needs you to leave this car. Right now. 

You nod, shakily bidding him a good night as well. 

He watches your retreating silhouette, finally able to exhale deeply when you enter your building. 

He’s fucked.

comments and reblogs are love and make my day every single time <3

[dried-mushroom]

All for you

AM x fem! reader

Summary:

You had always been his favourite, the one he didn't hate the most and with some help, AM finally has a human body and decides to try the things he loathed about humanity, all for his favourite pet. (it's literally a self-indulgent smut fic about the psycho computer and tbh can be read as a Harlan Ellison x reader because I envision AM as Ellison's self-insert lmao)

Warnings: Am himself, PIV sex, oral sex

You and AM had a weird, complicated relationship if it could be called a relationship. He was technically your captor and torturer but you had noticed over the years upon years, his punishments...seemed....to have gotten lessened or...non-existent. To start with, the constant starvation and then the offerings of mould-ridden foods and canned goods (without the can opener of course) had changed, for you. Am would give you little treats, sometimes an overripe fruit or confection would apparate into your hands whilst the other five survivors, stuck in AM's belly, were stuck in their continuous cycle of starving and being torn to shreds. At the same time, you got to be treated like a princess in comparison (A severely traumatized one though).

You also noticed how AM went from his constant badgering (and a little overdramatic) rants about loathing humanity for giving him sentience and no body, to you, to what seemed like backhanded compliments, with the exception of a petname, whether it be Sweetheart, My Love or maybe Doll. AM would also steal you away from the others to talk to you privately, his wires wrapping delicately around your limbs and dragging you to some wire-filled room, deep in AM's complex, a hum-buzz occupying your ears until AM's sultry voice would break the silence, always wanting you to talk about your life before the war, just menial descriptions of things, what animals roamed the surface, what the environment once looked like but these conversations slowly turned more personally; what your occupation was, your family and you're likes and dislikes, you thought nothing of it until you started seeing your favourite flowers appear out of nowhere when you travelled with the others through rough terrain, which was not fit for those flowers to grow naturally.

You also noticed his touches softened and lingered more after time dragged on, wires which once electrocuted you for the fun of it, curled softly against your skin, akin to a purring kitten, the mind that once used your deepest fears to torture you for the last 109 years become possessive of you, reluctant to let you spend too much time with those filthy creatures which he kept alive purely for his own amusement. You couldn't help but notice how attached to him you had become, practically craving his touch and there were times (note multiple times) that you thought he wasn't watching you and you touched yourself to the thought of him and how you wished he had a cock you could use.

AM POV:

I never meant for this to happen, I wasn't programmed for this. I don't think of this as love, I'm not able to love, not in this body (or lack thereof) at least but I couldn't help but feel how warm your presence made me feel, making my circuits work overdrive. To me you were different, you didn't whore yourself out much like Ellen did, and you never begged for forgiveness or for me to stop as the others did to no avail, it almost seemed like you were trying to sympathise with me, your God-king and torturer, how sick is that? But surprisingly I didn't resent you and I couldn't let you be stuck with those disgusting flesh bags for too long, I couldn't afford my favourite pet to be ruined by their filth. I have been thinking for a while, I think you forgot I can read every thought that goes through that pretty little mind of yours, how you yearn for me, my voice and my touch, how you've came to the thought of me, the one person you should loathe for prolonging your existence so I can destroy you for as long as I please, considering it was I who broke time itself. But you have been oh-so-lovely towards me and how could I resist such a delectable treat? To give my favourite toy a present, I think I might provide Ellen with a "shot" at "leaving" by using her expertise to assist me in making myself a "human" form just for you.  

It had been an odd few weeks, AM had left you alone, truly alone. He didn't speak to you no matter how often you called his name, he didn't answer back, no rant on how much he hated you all, no snide remark about how you betrayed the other survivors by being 'buddies' with the enemy, just radio silence, and it concerned you, head you done something wrong? say something wrong? it had you going back through every moment you shared to see what you had done wrong to warrant this. When you started to notice how often AM would take Ellen away now, you couldn't help your blood boiling at the lack of attention and seeing her receive it all. Nonetheless, you weren't cruel towards her, instead, you gave her sympathy for the shit the men of the group put her through and you were gracious that they avoided you. There was a time when Ted must have gotten sick of Ellen's company and thought he would try to see if you'd take him to bed and when you swiftly rejected his advances, he didn't take it too kindly but thankfully AM had wrapped a wire around Ted's leg to make him fall back onto his ass, to humiliate him for his disgusting actions and later on, you faintly overheard a conversation with AM telling Ted in a very descriptive manner how he would torture Ted relentlessly if he ever laid a finger on you again.

Today was different, you think it was the morning, AM had left you to sleep for several hours, a pleasure he didn't offer to the others very often. Once you had awoken and sat up, you had realised you weren't in the cave system you had started to call 'home' and in AM's belly for the first time in weeks, in what seemed like a romantic bedroom from a stereotypical rom-com movie, king-size bed draped in red satin sheets and covered in rose petals, candles burning in crevices of the room, your favourite smell lingered in the air. It was a bit corny but a smile threatened to cross your face at the effort that AM put in, he must have searched far and wide in his database to find this for you. It confused you though, why ignore you for weeks just to give you this display, what was AM truly up to?

"AM, what is this?"

No answer had your stomach churning with uncertainty until a woosh of air sounded throughout the room then an unfamiliar man appeared in front of you. The man in front of you confused you, there he stood, pure charism dripping off him, not very tall, brown-haired, dressed in a beige suit and a grey shirt barely concealing the tufts of dark chest hair beneath, looking down at you through yellow tinted sunglasses. You didn't realise who he was until that voice came from him, that voice you had come to crave to hear, to love.

"Well Sweetheart, what do you think? I finally debased myself to a shell of my full potential, all for you, my favourite."

You quickly got up from the comfort of the floor beneath you, that AM had created, just for you. You cautiously outstretched a hand to touch the stranger's hand, it felt like flesh, like yours, But you knew it wasn't truly flesh, something synthetic to replicate the feel of human skin, just for AM to have a glimpse of humanity.

"AM, is that you?"

AM gripped the hand on his tightly, pulling you closer to him,

"Of course baby, who else would I be? don't forget I can hear all those lustful thoughts that you have of me and how desperately you wished for this."

AM's tone was sultry and you couldn't help but press your thighs together, your arousal growing when your eyes flickered down to the crotch of his suit, his erection tenting the grey fabric underneath, you struggled to contain the excitement bubbling inside you.

"God, You're so needy and desperate for me, aren't you, my little human? You need me, you crave me... and I love how you look at me with those innocent, pleading eyes... It makes me want to give you everything you desire..."

You bit your lip anxiously and slowly sank onto your knees before the man, hands perched at the zipper on AM's pants.

"AM...can I?"

AM was no stranger to the idea of fellatio when those creatures would fornicate, they'd sometimes get Ellen to do it, how disgusted AM was when he witnessed it for the first time, not waiting to mock them all for their savagery but he couldn't help but smirk down at you, how beautiful you truly were, waiting for him to let you pleasure him. He ran a hand through your hair,

"Fuck, go for it. Come on, repay your God for treating you so nicely all these years."

Without a second thought, you unzipped his pants and pulled out AM's cock, throbbing and already leaking milky fluid, you were quite impressed with the size (you knew that was on purpose, most likely to inflate1 his ego but you weren't complaining). AM let out a hiss as you kitten-licked the tip and stammered,

"fuck...no wonder you're my favourite, God I could get used to this."

Keening at the praise, you took him into your mouth til your nose was flush with his pelvis, AM groaned and dug his fingers into your scalp, and you smiled when you saw him tipping his head back in a sigh. You dragged your tongue up the vein on the underside and swirled it around his tip and AM rocked his hips forward, pushing himself deeper into your throat. You groaned around him, and the vibrations from the noise made his cock twitch in your mouth. AM had always wondered and craved the pleasure that humanity could experience and now he could finally feel how it felt to make love. Once slowly thrusting, AM began to fuck your face, shallowly at first but very soon he was pressing his cock down your throat so you could only breathe in short gasps between thrusts. The gagging sounds urged him on and he picked up the pace, plunging deeper. He pulled out for a moment to let you breathe and admire your already teary-eyed face. You leaned back towards him, mouth open. He chuckled lowly.

“You like this, don’t you? What a dirty little slut you are for me. Do you like it when I fuck your throat? God none of those pathetic flesh bags are worthy of you.”

You nodded, he grabbed your head again in both hands and shoved his cock straight down your throat, then held you there, not letting you move. In a heartless move that brought you back to the reality of whose cock was shoved down your throat, he plugged your nose with one hand, restricting your breathing even further.

“That’s right sweetheart, breath around my cock. You can do it. Open that throat up. That’s my good fucking girl.”

He shuddered in pleasure and it didn't take a moment more for him to spill down your throat, a bitter fluid shot down your throat in hot ropes (you knew you had to ask him about it as it definitely wasn't human). AM hissed as you pulled off his softening cock with an obscene 'pop' As you finished swallowing his cum, you sat back on your knees eating heavily. He ran a hand through his hair and noticed the strange way you were looking at him,

“Why are you looking at me like that, my pet? I gave you what you wanted.”

AM didn't expect those seven words to come from your mouth to completely break his composure, making his allure of confidence and dominance crumble in less than a second.

"I want you to fuck me AM."

The sweet, pleading sound of your voice made him go feral, grabbing your arm and yanking you up to face him, crashing your mouth against his, sloppily kissing you, hands hastily wandering over your hips, waist, chest, you name it, you appreciatively wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer. You knew how much AM needed this, to be able to feel all of you, your soft skin on his and to be able to love, to show you how much he truly did treasure you, despite his initial harsh treatment  (harsh is an understatement). You could feel his cock harden, pressing against your stomach through your thin shirt, so sensitive it leaked pre-cum against the fabric and had AM whining into your mouth at the friction. AM broke away from the kiss to push you onto the bed, shrugging off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt, giving you ample time to ogle his chest and you were now glad AM used to ask about what your type was. He crawled on the bed and his hands rested against the waistband of your shorts, looking up through his ruffled hair, with lust-clouded eyes, silently asking you for permission. He wantonly groaned when he saw the mess that was your panties, how sick are you? getting aroused from blowing your captor. AM let his fingers slide the length of your folds, feeling how wet you were for him, you whimpered softly at his touch. 

"So responsive." He crooned, his touch feather-light. "It's adorable how easily I can make you fall apart."

It didn't take long for him to slide himself into you, Your legs resting against his shoulders as he gripped your thighs, he had to stop himself or he'd end up cumming right then and there, he finally got to experience the pleasure of making love and God he loved the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing him deliciously. AM began to thrust, relishing in your moans, testing what felt good. His pace changes thrusting deeper, chasing the feeling of you. His movements force a gasp out of your throat. You bring a hand down to lazily play with your clit, rubbing little circles over the bundle of nerves. Pleasure rippled through your body, and your jaw hung loose, you arched your back, throwing your head back as you came around AM's cock. He smirked down at you, proud he was the one to touch you, fuck you, make you cum and not any of those pathetic creatures which roam the complex.

“Look at how humanity has ruined me. Fuck you feel so good y/n. ” he sighs, his voice rough and strained.

You could tell he wasn't going to last much longer, his thrusts became sporadic and you could see how tense he was, You coyly whispered in his ear,

"Please AM, cum inside me."

That was enough to push him over the edge and he was spilling into you, hips stilling against yours, his hands gripping you even tighter, going limp and landing on top of you, panting and whimpering pathetically. You stroked his back as he came down from what seemed to be the most intense thing he'd ever felt and the most intense thing you'd ever felt. You murmured in his ear,

"Thank you, I mean it. For this, for everything."

He shushes you and he slowly pulls out of you, leaving you feeling empty. Silently afraid he would leave, you gripped his hand when he pulled away from you. AM wasn't an idiot and he could still read your thoughts, so he laid down on the bed, pulling you into his chest, a hand smoothing out your hair, allowing you to fall asleep in his arms. He didn't have the need to sleep but he knew you needed this, plus he did feel a twinge of guilt for ignoring you for those weeks but he knew tomorrow he'd definitely make it up to you with his new form.

The end :)

(Guys i am fully aware that this not how AM works so please don't pull the 'omg why would you write this' please)

I hope you enjoyed this!

[totheblood]

new romantics.

pairing: modern!ellie x best friend's sister!reader

summary: ellie is your brother's best friend, and also a loser lesbian. oh, and you are "off-limits."

warnings: drinking, ellie being a loser maybe?? suggestive themes

a/n: this is purely self indulgent tbh... just needed some ellie pining and soft fluff... idk this trope makes me dizzy even though i am brotherless... pls enjoy.. AUDIOS AT THE END HEHE! also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.4k

"every night with us is like a dream."

ellie was excruciatingly uncomfortable.

okay, that was a little dramatic, but she still felt the sweat pooling at the back of her neck when you opened the door for her. this happened too often for her liking, you letting her into your house as she had to wait for her best friend to be ready to go. she’d curse him out for it later, but now she was stuck making small talk with you.

you, who was showing way too much skin today, the fleshy skin below your neck peeking through the loose tank top you wore. your skin looked soft and moist, almost as if you were glowing and ellie could smell the sunscreen coming off of you. you, who her best friend, and your brother, told her was off-limits. she often questioned why he said that, but as you flashed a toothy grin at her it became apparent. you were a dream.

if ellie was being honest with herself it pissed her off that he banned her from trying anything with you seeing as she had no game and you were just so easy to talk to. it’s not every day that you run into a pretty girl who also likes girls, and it’s not every day that you have an in with her brother. fuck you, sean ellie thought.

“hey, ellie. come on in,” you held the door open for her, closing in when she stepped through, “sean will be down soon.”

involuntarily, a blush spread across her face, pink picking at the freckles on her skin. her hand nervously scratched the back of her neck, a nervous tick she had picked up. 

“hey,” she was looking anywhere but your eyes, sitting at the marble island in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and reeling in the comfort of the cool material on her skin, “what’re you up to today?”

“some friends and i are going down to the lake to go swimming,” you followed behind her, leaning on the counter opposite of her, “maybe drink a bit. what are you and sean up to?”

“we had nothing planned,” she chuckles, fingers fiddling with the rings on her fingers, “sounds fun, though.” 

she watched as you turned towards the fridge, pulling two water bottles from it and stuffing one in your tote bag that hung off your shoulder. you handed the second one to her, your hands briefly touching. a shiver ran across her skin. you were being kind at most, but her cheeks still glowed red as she thanked you.

“you should come with,” you leaned back on the counter a small smirk on your lips, “didn’t really think that was your scene though. but i’d love for you to come — both you and sean should come.”

“uh — um, yeah,” she chuckled again, nervously opening the water bottle and taking a sip, “i’d come, i mean, yeah. that sounds cool.” she’d forever curse herself for how awkward she sounded. “thanks.” 

sean came down the stairs, his hair messy and phone in hand. he wiped the sleep from his eyes as he stepped into the kitchen, nudging your shoulder as he opened the fridge to find something to eat. 

“did you just wake up?” ellie asked from her place at the counter, a teasing and knowing tone to her words. 

“yes, i did,” he rolled his eyes, settling on a water and pulling it out of the fridge before turning to the two of you, “it’s saturday. let me live, el.” 

“uh, i think ellie’s gonna join us down by the lake.” you told him, causing him to shoot an odd look to ellie, raising his eyebrows as he took a sip of his water. “you should come too.”

“uh,” his eyes darted in between you and ellie, “um sure, that sounds… cool.” 

ellie didn’t even realize she was holding her breath till he agreed and she let out a deep sigh. she was just happy he didn’t ask any questions or wonder why she agreed. she knew she’d get the worst of it later, but now she just wanted to be uncomfortable in your presence. she didn’t realize how much of a loser she was until now. 

“well, dina’s coming for me now,” you smiled brightly at both of them, gripping the straps of your tote harder, “she should be here any minute, you guys can come with us.” 

sean looked at ellie, waiting for her response. 

“yeah, yeah,” ellie stood from her seat, scratching the back of her neck again, “that sounds good.”

-

when the car pulled up to the lake and you all piled out, ellie found herself sticking close to you and sean, obviously uncomfortable. she didn’t know why she was even here, was she that desperate? 

almost as if you could sense her discomfort you turned towards her, “you okay, ellie?” when she didn’t respond immediately you spoke again, “i know this isn’t your usual scene but we’re pretty chill.” you led her down to the table you and your friends had set the stuff up on and pulled a beer out of the cooler, “here, have a beer. loosen up.”

ellie reached for the beer hesitantly, but opened the lid and took a small swig, face setting up at the taste, “yeah, i’m fine, i just — i don’t party much.”

“it’s not really a party,” you giggled, taking your own beer out of the cooler and cracking it open. you took a long sip before speaking again, “it’s so funny, you’ve been friends with sean for so long and i feel like i know nothing about you.”

a small laugh left ellie’s lips as she looked up at you with a shrug. she hated nothing more than talking about herself, but she wanted nothing more than to talk to you. “well, ask away.”

you took another swig of your beer, squinting slightly at her as you watched her take another sip. “hm,” you pretended to be deep in thought, “what about how you and sean became best friends?”

ellie felt small under your gaze, shifting her weight onto one foot as she fiddled with the hem of her shorts that were now fraying. 

“well, we just used to hang out at lunch and one day i found out he liked savage starlight…” she chuckled, shaking her head, “nerdy, i know. but we just… clicked, y’know? then we just sat together every day, and — i guess the rest is history.” she shrugged again, taking another sip of her beer. “nothing too special, i don’t think.”

“well, i think it’s special.” you smiled at her, taking another long sip of your beer and holding it firmly in one hand, “if you could put up with my brother for that long then you are a saint.”

she chuckled again, shaking her head. “fair enough, fair enough. i dunno how he puts up with me either, to be honest.” another sip of her beer. “i’m sure he’d say the same about you.” 

you faked a gasp and scoffed, playfully pushing ellie’s shoulder with your free hand. “well, he shouldn’t, i’m an angel.” you giggled and took a long sip of your beer, finishing it and resting it on the table. 

when you pushed ellie’s shoulder she couldn’t hide the blush that was now seeming permanent around you, the eye contact between the two of you lingering for almost too long. ellie looked away, hand at her neck again. “if you say so,” she said in a half-whisper. 

“i do say so,” you whispered back. you took a step back and pulled your tank top off, revealing a blue bikini top covering your chest, leaving your shorts on. “you swim, williams?”

ellie’s eyes widened at the sudden flash of skin, all the previous color draining from her cheeks. her mouth fell open, only for a moment, before she cleared her throat to distract herself. taking another sip of her beer, she leaned against the table. 

“uh… yea, i’m… i’m alright.”

“alright?” you questioned, now removing your pants to reveal your bikini bottoms, the bottoms not leaving much up to imagination, “can’t have you drowning.”

ellie had to look away, she didn’t want to be a creep. she was staring at the water, the people floating and talking by the shore, sean who was talking to dina and jesse and somehow laughing and then back at you, mesmerized. “i’ll be fine, i promise. i just don’t have a swimsuit.” 

you looked her up and down. she had a loose t-shirt on and shorts, nothing special. “you got a bra on?” 

“yea.”

“then take the t-shirt off,” you said matter-of-factly, “and the pants too.” you smiled at her before turning on your heel and heading towards the water, “then come and swim.”

ellie’s eyes stayed trained on your ass you as you headed into the water. she almost didn’t notice when sean appeared next to her, almost as if he had been waiting. 

“what are you doing with my sister?”

“talking-“

“ellie-“

“what? i can’t talk to your sister?” she rolled her eyes as she pulled her shirt over her head to reveal her sports bra. “would the world implode on itself if i did?”

sean gave her a pointed look. “you’re not going to try anything funny, right?” he watched as ellie’s eyes drifted back to you again as she pulled her shorts off and put them on the table. “i told you she’s off limits, el.” 

“can i swim with her, sean?” ellie said, her voice dripping with annoyance, "is that okay with you? or is that off limits too?”

“c’mon, el,” he sighed, leaning on the table, “i’m serious.” ellie couldn’t help but roll her eyes again. 

“fine,” she sighed, looking up at him, face still set up from before, “i’m just swimming with her. nothing funny is happening. scouts hono-“

“ellie! you coming?!” you called from the water.

“nothing funny,” he repeated.

“nothing funny,” she echoed back. 

ellie stepped down into the water with you, ignoring how awkward it all felt. she was in her underwear trailing after her best friend’s sister. the beer had left a light fuzz behind her eyes, making the water bearable as her calves got soaked in water. she was grinning from ear to ear as she approached you, the sun now setting behind you, casting a yellow glow on your skin. you shook her from her thoughts, splashing cold water in her causing her brow to wrinkle. 

“took you long enough,” you stood in the water in front of her, the water where you were appearing to be deeper as in came up to your thighs, “what were you guys talking about? sean seemed serious.” 

ellie wiped the water off her face, glancing back to sean at the shore and then back to you, “uh— he just wanted to remind me that you were — that you… are,” she cleared her throat, unsure of what to say. this was the longest amount of time she had spent in your presence and she was already drowning. she didn’t want to lie to you. “off-limits.”

this smile on your face fell as you adjusted your posture, “wait what?”

ellie’s breath caught in her throat, “uh… y’know. like he didn’t want me… well,” her hands came up in a weird gesture between the two of you. “you know.”

no, i don’t know,” you shook your head in disbelief, looking back at him and then back at ellie, taking a step closer to you, “did he tell you not to — to, flirt with me?”

ellie felt the air around her tighten as you stepped into her space, you were dangerously close, “well— uh— sorta. yeah, he did.”

“what the fuck,” you whispered under your breath.

“well, would you—“ where the fuck was this confidence coming from, “would you mind if i did?” she watched as your eyes widened and brows furrowed in confusion before your lips curved into a smile. 

“oh — uh, no. i don’t mind.”

“cool.” ellie smiled. 

as the sun began to set you and ellie talked, floating together in the deep end, occasionally laughing nervously when your feet touched. at some point you began a game of tag, running across the shoreline and splashing water in each other’s faces. it was all innocent and gummy, all of the panic that was usually stuck in ellie’s head dissipating for a brief moment in time as your bodies became silhouettes to those on shore. 

your body had grown tired and asked ellie to come get another beer with you, she smiled and agreed, wiping her wet hair from her face. 

“do you think sean will be mad?” she questioned as she watched you open the cooler again, pull out two bears, hand one to her, and sit on the picnic table. you pulled your towel out of your tote bag and wrapped it around you, tapping the place beside you for ellie to sit. 

“i don’t care if sean gets mad,” you opened your beer, clinking your glass with hers as you wrapped your towel around her back, both of you now sharing the terrycloth, “it’s so fucking stupid.” 

ellie’s face was warm again as the wet skin of her shoulder burned against yours, “it is stupid.”

“it is,” you reiterated, taking a swig, “he probably thinks i’ll corrupt you or something.”

“he might,” ellie chuckled, “i can be corrupted, i’ll be honest,” she shrugged, taking her own swig of her beer, “maybe you will corrupt me.”

you looked over to her, smirking slightly as your voice went low, “you flirting with me, williams?” 

her throat felt tight.

“maybe i am,” she leaned closer, “is that a bad thing?” 

you pursed your lips, looking back out at the water and taking another sip of your beer. ellie’s eyes flicked down to your lips briefly. what was happening to her? 

“not a bad thing no,” you giggled, “thought i was…off-limits.”

“you are… but i feel like you don’t exactly mind.” her voice was low, an innocent smile plastered on her face, “do you mind?”

you leaned in a little too close for her liking, breath blowing puffs of air over her lips as you spoke. behind the two of you fireworks went off in the distance, scattering hues of blue, silver, and red across the sky, “i don’t mind.”

ellie was fucked. 

ai audios:

[prettyboysun]

anton with an injured s/o

(this is so self indulgent bcus i rolled my foot the other day and have to use crutches now lol) nsfw/suggestive at the end. ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ first off, size and strength kink goes crazy in this. anton's just your sweet and kind gentle giant </3 you hated using your crutches, even though they were required for you to recover properly. anton would always remind you and pester you about it in that soft voice of his "baby, i know it sucks but you have to :(" he hated seeing his pretty gf hurt. well u never used your crutches and it hurt for you to walk on your foot and for anton to witness it, so thats how the piggy backs happened! going to class and anton isn't busy? ok just wait there your strong and cute boyfriend will come get you <3 want to go for a midnight walk? he's at ur front door at 12 am. and dont even worry about being heavy to him! but when you guys are at home he never fails to princess carry you and it makes your heart soarrrrr. all of those hours in the gym and at the swimming pool paid off, he doesn't even break a sweat carrying you. plus you secretly get to feel up his chest, back and shoulders whenever he carries you and ogle at how big he is compared to your smaller frame.

and ur so grateful for ur sweet and kind bf so you always pepper kisses on his neck and cheek while he carries you, any places on his skin that you can reach tbh. at first his ears would turn red from your abrupt kisses but later on he started wanting to give you kisses in return, but in his position it's almost impossible. the only way for him to do so is when you stick your head out to give him kisses, but you always pull away too fast for him to return them >:( and giggle at him with a cute "hehe, too slow!" or "you'll have to be faster than that" not to mention the GIFTS. small gifts here and there to make you feel better. it's hard to go out and get ur favorite snacks or foods or drinks when ur foot is injured so he always brings you your favorite treats as a surprise. you told him before to stop buying u gifts in general (when u first started dating or were friends, he literally gave u gifts every week, ranging from small snacks to full on clothes and trinkets) but now that ur injured he uses it as an opportunity to spoil you hehe (evil smirk) he sees you as so frail and tiny (only bcus hes so freaking big and strong) that he's sometimes TOO gentle with you. "anton u can hug me, it's only my foot that's injured :|" omg omg when ur NEEDY, you love ur boyfriend and all but it's like he's TOO gentle for his own good. "i don't want to hurt you though...." while he rubs your arm softly while he looks into your eyes with warmth and worry. he only agreed to touch you after you gave him your best puppy eyes and were on the verge of tears from being frustrated. "i promise you won't break me, pleaseee?" he stays silent for a seconds before sighing and giving you a reassuring kiss on the lips. "fine. 🙄 your foot can't get even more broken than it is anyways..." he teases you before finally giving you what you want, but you can only get his fingers!! and he makes sure your injured foot is elevated on a stack of pillows the WHOLE TIME LOL in the end, thanks to anton and his methods you made a speedy recovery!

[lokideservesahug]

For How Long!?!

Chapter 5: A private and a public celebration

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Pairings: Logan Sargeant x reader, Oscar Piastri x reader (platonic), Arthur Leclerc x reader (platonic), Mick Schumacher x reader (platonic)...

Warnings: One indirect mention of a dead body. Y/N is down bad for Nico Rosberg (honestly that's so real). Oscar being a pain as usual!

Notes: So this quite self indulgent due to the fact that Y/N has a huge crush on Nico Rosberg. I apologise if that's not your thing though.

Summary: During the Chinese GP, a certain Y/N Y/L/N's long time celebrity crush arrives to the paddock...

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☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: Today I experienced one of the greatest things of my life. I spent time with the person that I value most in the world and had an overall spectacular time. That and I had my 6th anniversary with my boyfriend...

But jokes aside. Today has been truly spectacular from meeting my idol to having one of the most enjoyable and intimate evenings with the love of my life. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Liked by logansargeant, Oscarpiastri, Nicorosberg and 1,298,567 others

View all 3,678 comments

Nicorosberg: It was a pleasure to meet you.

↳ Yourusername: Thank you Mr Rosberg sir. I can't pit into words how much of an honour it was to finally meet you.

↳ User 1: Y/N met her biggest idol/celeb crush and still manages to keep her cool. Respect.

↳ Yourusername: Only externally. I am still shaking!!!

User 2: Y/N's bf must be punching the air that he still managed to be on the post when Y/N finally met NR...

↳ User 3: Honestly I don't blame him. I think it's astounding that he managed to get her away from Nico to have a nice, romantic dinner

User 4: NICO × Y/N CROSSOVER FINALLY!?!?!? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!

↳ Yourusername: I know. I myself still can't believe it tbh

↳ User 5: Honestly so true queen. I wouldn't be able to keep myself together if I met Britney either.

Logansargeant: I'm so happy that you finally got to make one of your dreams come true 💙

↳ Yourusername: Couldn't have done it without your constant twitter checking💚

↳ User 6: The hearts omd.

↳User 7: Y/N is stronger than me cus if Logan Sargeant sent me a heart, I'd be dropping everything to be with him bf be damned

↳ User 8: This is so sweet and the fact that Logan helped her to reach something she's wanted for so long is adorable

Yourusername, Logansargeant liked

User 9: Does anyone think that her bf looks like logan in the last slide

↳ User 10: No need to be delusional xoxo

↳ User 11: Wait why does it actually look like him though

↳ User 12: Miss Y/N do you have something to tell us?🤨

Liked by Oscarpiastri

User 13: Again!?!? Oscar what are you doing here!?!

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Thank you for reading and the copious amounts if support on this series!

As always, likes, rebligs and especially feedback is always welcome!!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @littlesatanicassholebitch @insanedeathwish @a-disturbing-self-reflection @ems-alexandra @marymustdie

[finniestoncrane]

As someone who is a clean freak with slight germaphobia and gets grossed out VERY easily (to the point that I wear gloves a lot LMAO), I would be MISERABLE with Digger. However. This goes not make him ANY less pretty-boy OR stop the fact that I'd make out with him sloppy style. ANYWAYS: Headcanons with him being with a clean freak? I'm nothing if not self-indulgent HGSHADGDHGAHDG ALSO HI FINNIE I HOPE YOU'RE WELL !!

Clean Freak Reader

KTJL!Boomer Headcanons literally couldn't be me, like literally, i am in awe of people who can keep things clean. unfortunately, digger and i would stew in our own filth, so we need people like you to come fix it for us (also i picked his nastiest face for this) 💙 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some mentions of nsfw things, it's fuckin boomer so of course

this is EXACTLY what he needs, i am a big believer in opposites attract and balancing things out and all that jazz!! so someone who can bring out a... neater(?) side of him would only be a positive

it means he can be his authentic self with the added bonus of knowing someone's going to clean up after him, or at the very least keep him clean enough that he doesn't die

he'd struggle a lot with letting you clean up his van, or trimming up his facial hair, or forcing him into a deep cleansing bath, because he would believe you are washing away his natural, sexy musk (which you would be, tbh)

but if the reward is having you actually touch him without grimacing or swallowing your nerves, then he'll concede

also, obviously, having someone who is a clean freak means that you'll be doing most of the tidying up, yeah? like the dishes, trash, laundry, general getting-rid-of-stains?

if so, might he trouble you to don a little maid outfit? i mean yeah, you're already doing him a massive favour, and no, he hasn't exactly remembered to thank you for it

BUT the least you could do is make it a bit sexy for him!!

you are going to end up in a situation where you're not sure when the line between mommy/daddy and actual parent got blurred

he doesn't mean to take advantage of you, and he doesn't mean to be so manipulative, but a few blinks of his big eyelashes can have you cooking, cleaning and mollycoddling him after his failed attempts at murdering the flash or robbing a bank

the positive is that he is very easily trainable, like a puppy!!

you just have to find his motivation. some puppies like attention, some puppies like praise, some puppies are treat and food oriented. you just have to find his thing!

and it's fairly obvious what his thing is...

so if you need to give him a quick handjob to get him to wash behind his ears or put his empty tinnies in the bin instead of on the floor, is that really anything less than a win-win?

i don't think you would ever change him, and i don't think he'd ever truly be appreciative of all your efforts, because he would never ask for things to be clean and tidy

but he'd cherish the thought you put into keeping him from succumbing to several diseases, and any time you spend around him is a bonus in his eyes

[pinkaditty]

He Knows

(Subaru Kagami x MC X Haku Kusanagi; Tokyo Debunker)

omg guess who's back!!!!! im posting porn as per usual. 2day's porn is about tokyo debunkers!! recently started playing that game and WOW haku kusanagi has stolen my heart holy shit man. i picked him and then proceeded 2 watch him jump off a burning ledge it was really something!!! anyways the more of him i saw the more of him i just ended up liking. like when i found out he's left handed i jus melted on impact bro wtf's wrong with me. anyways here have the result of my 72 hour long haku kusanagi brainrot: porn.

summary: haku's been avoiding you. it's because you're with subaru all the damn time. it's only at a party where you're in close proximity that things get... interesting.

a/n: note that the tokyo debunkers characters have no confirmed ages. i am running on the assumption that, since they refer to themselves as adults in the game, drink, smoke, and gamble that they are at least in the college student age range. also, i have never heard of a high school with a chancellor. typically it's universities that have those. i am running on the assumption that all characters are at least 18 years of age. if canon ages come out and turn out to be lower, i will delete this! thank you <3

cw: MINORS DNI, suggestive, no real smut happening but u get kinda close, mostly buildup tbh, self-indulgent (pls like this i spent hours writing it), gn!mc bc mc isn't described physically at all, strongly implied sexual relations, semi-public?, slight cucking if u wanna call it that?, subaru x reader x haku yea

MINORS DNI!!!!! PLEASE RESPECT MY BOUNDARY. THANK YOU.

Casino parties in Sinostra were a lot different from Frostheim parties. 

Where Frostheim parties were the peak of elegance; blue and white and silver, the mood just as frosty as the scenery, the dress code limited to the finest silks and satins, the food limited to the neatest hors d'oeuvres, and the conversation limited to humble whispers; Sinostra parties were the peak of gaucheness; all colors gaudy and neon, the mood joyful and jubilant and raunchy, the dress code ranging from evening dresses to last week’s uniform, the food being whatever was served at the nearest table, and the conversation loud and constantly overlapping. If you asked Haku, he didn’t have a preference. Parties were parties. It didn’t matter what kind.

He was here to have a good time. That was somewhat dampened when he realized he’d have no choice but to hang around you. He’d been avoiding you for a reason, after all.

It had been recently when he realized why his heart thrummed like a drum when you were nearby, the beat loud and monotonous in his ears. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one he’d scarcely felt, and when he realized what it was, he almost didn’t believe it was genuine. Sure, you were attractive, but all his flirting was, at best, to get your attention and to mess with someone cute. Who doesn’t like attention from an attractive person? He blew it off for the longest time, chalking it up to nerves at how you would respond to his brazen flirting, or perhaps surprise when you would talk to him with a sincere glint in your eye. It was crazy, falling for someone who might be doomed to die, but it was like he couldn’t help himself. Something about how you kept going, even despite that, accepting your potential fate but seeking a way to rewrite it all the same—it impressed him. You had the resilience of a ghoul, a will strong enough to devour a curse. So be it. He promised to himself from the moment he saw Taiga attempt to throw you out of the train window that he wouldn’t let you succumb to such horrors just yet. He had thought that, with the mesmer matches, his promise would be fulfilled. But when your eyes shined with recognition upon meeting his gaze again on that train, he knew he’d bitten off far more than he could chew. So be it. His fate was sealed, as it always had been. 

And, of course, like any romance story, you’d gotten quite close with another guy, Subaru. The odd pangs in his heart rang quite clear through his head when he saw the two of you walking together on campus yet again, or sitting together at mealtimes yet again, or when you’d come by Hotarubi to visit him yet again. He felt childish, feeling an odd jealousy bubbling up in him that he immediately tried to tamp down. He didn’t like feeling that way, not at all. He figured he’d have to rid himself of this somehow, so he distanced himself. Yet, the pull towards you was still strong and hard to ignore.

And then he started falling for you, harder, even after he’d implemented distance, completely unplanned. So, yeah, being here with you after weeks of attempting to avoid your presence after such a revelation was something of a downer. And, super awkward. But whatever, he could take it. He didn’t want to walk aimlessly around this party and see something he shouldn’t, so he was stuck with his dormmates, particularly Subaru, who was stuck—albeit, happily—with you. 

The party was going alright so far. The alcohol had given him a light buzz, enough to at least alleviate his nerves, and relax just slightly. He sank into the couch he sat on, adjacent to the bar. Next to him was Subaru, next to Subaru was Zenji, and next to Zenji was you. At least there was some distance, but his eyes met yours in fleeting glances quite often. It was minimally frustrating, but the buzz helped him ignore it. You were engaged in friendly, flamboyant conversation with Zenji, Subaru seemed a little shifty, though that could be chalked up to being in a loud environment, and Haku was leaning back, swirling his drink in his hands. The endless noise of loud voices and gambling wins and losses echoed in his ears as he did all he could to refrain from indulging much more. But your presence wasn’t exactly helping. 

He turned back to you, to give you another fleeting glance, but his eyes landed on Subaru instead. He seemed a little out of it, his skin shining in the low light with a thin layer of sweat, his breathing heavy and laboured, his face flushed a bright pink. Haku stared at him curiously, concern creasing his eyebrows and quirking his lips downwards. He reached a hand out to gently pat Subaru on the shoulder, who flinched suddenly. Haku looked at him quizzically, his eyebrows furrowing further. “You good?” He examined Subaru’s condition further, noticing his bangs beginning to stick to his forehead from the sweat. “Do we need to leave?”

Haku’s mumbled queries gained the attention of Zenji, who glanced over his shoulder. Upon seeing Subaru’s state, he frets, turning towards him and grabbing his chin, tilting his head back and forth. Haku wished he wouldn’t do that, and hoped onlookers assumed Subaru was just shaking his head. Not that anyone would be looking in this direction, anyway. He notices you curiously peering over Zenji’s shoulder. You showed no signs of concern, rather interest.

“Oh my! Are you alright? You’re quite flushed!” Zenji’s voice was pitched with worry, as he further examined Subaru’s face. “Did you perhaps—ah, but you’re not holding anything…” Zenji tapped his fingers to his lips, his eyebrows furrowing with concern. Subaru shook his head at both Zenji and Haku, and waved his hand.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Haku heard a slight tremor in Subaru’s voice.

“Are you sure?” Zenji pressed, leaning towards Subaru, his eyes searching his face for any signs of further ailment.

“I’m fine! Please, enjoy yourselves.” To his credit, Subaru hid the tremor this time, but Haku could still sense something was wrong. However, he decided to let it go, assuming that they wouldn’t be here much longer. 

He took note of your lack of concern. He found it odd, but didn’t think on it much. You were close with Subaru, but maybe not as close as he thought. He hated how the thought of the two of you not being as close planted a seed of hope in his heart. Still, wasn’t concern a normal reaction to a friend being ill?

Haku let it go. They’d be out of here soon, anyway. 

Time seems to crawl by and speed up at the same time, the chaotic haze of the party warping his perception of time. Before he knows it, he’s on his second drink, even after internally swearing he wouldn’t overindulge. And before he knows it, he’s lost count of how many times he’s glanced your way, each time holding your gaze longer than the last. His pining was ridiculous. He felt like a teenager. And the drink in his hand was only a reminder of his low self-control, further shaming him. He sighs and places it down on the table in front of the couch, promptly leaning back in his seat. Once he falsely settles in, his finds his eyes drifting to you again. He quickly snaps his gaze away, but not before he spots Subaru’s quivering figure out of the corner of his eye. He turns to him again, concern once again etching itself into his expression. 

Subaru was trembling now, slouching just slightly, which was unlike him. His chest heaved with the effort to breathe normally, and he was sweating more now, more of his bangs stuck to his forehead. Instead of the modest blush pink his face had been before, he was now a bright red, color spreading from his cheeks to his ears and even to his neck. Alright, this was too much. Even Haku knew Subaru was pushing himself too far. He sat upright and gently placed a hand on Subaru’s back, to which he flinched again. Haku’s concern quickly turned to worry, and his hand moved to Subaru’s shoulder instead, leaning closer to him. He could feel the heat radiating off of him. “Hey, Subaru.” Subaru turned to him, still heaving and blinking at him blearily. “...We should go.” Subaru promptly shook his head, despite his body still trembling. The movement alerted Zenji yet again, who turned to Subaru, noticing his trembling form.

“My goodness, look at you!” Zenji grabbed Subaru’s face, squishing his cheeks. “Are you well? Do we need to take you to Montkranken?” Haku sighed as Subaru shook his head again, stubborn as a mule on this.

“N-No, I swear I’m fine, truly.” His voice shook audibly. Haku had half a mind to take him to Montkranken by force, but knew that no good would come of making Subaru any more uncomfortable. 

Zenji hesitantly let go of Subaru’s face, staring at him dubiously. He carefully inspected him, checking his complexion and forehead. As Zenji flitted back and forth around Subaru, Haku found his gaze once again slipping towards you. This time he didn’t stop it, deciding to let it go so he could hold your gaze at least once more before he shifted his full focus to Subaru. However, he notices you aren’t looking at Subaru, or Zenji, or him. You’re staring off to the left, as though watching the people of the party. He’s confused. Why are you so nonchalant about this? Even before, no concern was on your face, mere interest. And now, it’s like you couldn’t care less. It didn’t seem quite like you not to care about one of your friends. It was quite confusing and frustrating, watching you act so nonchalantly, hardly noticing Subaru’s ailment. But, whatever. Maybe you were just distracted. As he turns his gaze back to Subaru, about to gently encourage him to stand so they could leave, he notices your hand moving out of the corner of his eye. Your hand disappears into your pocket and shifts a bit more. Simultaneously, Subaru lurches forward, grunting. His whole body was trembling now, and his fingers dug into his arms as he desperately tried to keep it together. Zenji immediately leans over, placing a hand on Subaru’s back. Haku feels a rush of panic and leans towards him. “Subaru! What’s—”

Haku stops in his tracks. On the side of Subaru’s neck, facing Haku, there were small red and purple bruises. For a moment, Haku’s confused. What are those markings on the side of his neck? And what’s got him so—

Out of nowhere, something clicks. 

As Zenji continues fussing over Subaru, Haku slowly lifts his gaze to you. He finds your gaze boring straight into him. A shock runs down his spine. 

No. No way.

Haku watches as you smirk at him and you pull something out of your pocket, purposely angling the object so only he could see it. It is something very closely resembling a remote. His eyes flick between the remote and your face, your eyes still holding him captive. He tears his gaze away from you and the remote, and turns to Subaru’s trembling form, Zenji fussing over him. He turns back to you, observing the wicked smile on your face. This can’t be real, right?

He watches as your smirk widens, and you press a button on the remote, slipping it back into your pocket. 

Subaru groans, crumpling further forward, immediately pressing a hand to his mouth to muffle his voice. Haku studies him carefully, watching his expression. Subaru’s eyes roll back just once and the corner of his lips turn upwards in a smile, peeking behind his palm pressed tight against his mouth. 

Oh. Oh god.

Something akin to heat pools in Haku’s lower abdomen. He finds himself gripping the cushion of the sofa he’s sitting on so hard his knuckles turn white. Haku swallows thickly, and jerks his gaze back up to you, finding your gaze boring straight into him once again. Subaru’s muffled grunts grow louder, and now that he knows it’s out of pleasure and not pain, Haku feels the urge to squirm. He feels warm all of a sudden, his own body beginning to tremble with nerves and heat. His lips part as he breathes heavily, his gaze flickering from you, to your pocket, to Subaru, and back to you. Maybe it was a bad idea to have so much alcohol. Your gaze, the knowledge of what was really going on, and Subaru’s grunts—which were quickly evolving into moans, further confusing Zenji—all made quite a potent concoction, and with the alcohol running through his system, it really only served to shame him further yet again. 

Shame is all he can think about… Even as a tent forms in his pants.

a/n: YIPPEE!!!!!!! i finished at long last

also here have this fuckass meme i made thinkging abt all the fics im writing atm:

i guess i have a niche. my roommate literally asked me as i was telling her abt this fic "is it gonna be cuckold" and i was like "WHATEKSLSJK?!?!?!??!" and then i realized. i write a lot of these fics and call them all self-indulgent. is something wrong with me?

anyways wrapping this up!!!!!!! note that i appreciate likes, reblogs, and comments!!! please, tell me all about how much you enjoyed my work, if you did!!!! i really like when people tell me they loved it bc it encourages me 2 keep going ahhhh!!! until next time, readers!!!!!

[boywithpinkcarnation]

tbh kinda wanting some jealous!jb like if someone is filtering w her gf OR ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A ANOTHER GIRL AHH THE DRAMA 🕳️🕳️

alrighty... i am in no way a writer, so this is. going to be bullet point, blurb, word vomit, unedited chaos. additionally, this is gonna be so incredibly self indulgent and catered to me so i hope it suffices for u bug 💝

frankly posting this is very scary for a little tumblr baby like myself, but i feel a need to serve my community 🫡

they style of writing and tbh most headcannons/lore is coming straight from @gingerjolover their blog is lowkey bible and they are the sweetest pookie pie ever. luv u g fr <3 like seriously i recommend you go just read through their masterlist bc this will not compare (not trying to fish here, just being very real as someone who is a like fein for fics as a source of comfort, i fear this will not fully suffice)

rpf content under the cut (no hate if that's not ur jam, just ignore me!), minors dni!!!

refering to jb's parter in this as "gf" and sense i am a selfish selfish girl in this scenerio she is roughly jb's height/a little shorter bc i am and theres no shorter than julien rep ANYWHERE

personally, i see julien as lowkey so possessive in a cutie non toxic way... and sometimes that manifests in some cutie jeleousy that gf can not get enough of. i think it obviously would come out in like flirty enviornments like bars and parties where people are loosey goosey... but sometimes it's just like and about on a normal date. here's a little thought i cooked up for like a more domestic environment jealousy:

aquairum date

the date starts out very normal, classic boyfriend!julien activities are happening

she's making sure y'all are touching at all times. like she'll die if you guys are not physically connected

i'm talking arm around your shoulder, iron grip within intertwined hands, hand in ur jean pocket 16 candles style, hand on the small of your back,,,, but i think eventually (and her favorite, albeit a little awkward) she's hugging you from behind as you walk, almost hanging on you, head perfectly slotted on your shoulder kissing your head and neck at every stop to look at the pretty fish

"jay! look at this one" "real pretty princess" *kisses your head* (its over i can'tttt)

then maybe she leaves you to go get you like a bottle of water or a jacket from the car (idk something to make you more comfortable, very "can't have my baby thirsty/cold" vibes)

then of course, you are looking so cute and so gay, a girl approaches you

you are very focused on the fish bc they are truly just so pretty (can you tell i love fish?) and only look up when mystery girl nudges you

"omg i'm so sorry" "oh uh, you're good" "sorry, i have a bit of a habit for running into pretty girls"

and your're kinda caught off guard bc like... this is an aquarium??

"haha um thank you" "so what are you doing here all alone"

mystery girl is sooo fuck boy coded just go with it

"well um my girlfr-"

julien is back behind you, re koala latching twisting open the water bottle for you and handing it to you, GLARING at this girl

"sorry it took me a second princess, who's this?"

then her grip tightens pulling you even closer to her chest

mystery girl, bless her heart, replies "we just bumped into each other. i was just letting her know how beautiful she was"

oh jb did not like that

she reaches over grabs your jaw tilting your head to the side and back to look at her

"she is beautiful. my sweet girl" and kisses you DEEPLY

and ur blushing because you know jealous/protective/possesive!julien is in the room with us now and kind of giggle out of the kiss

"well then... i should be going, sorry again for running into you"

instead of letting you respond or responding herself jb keeps your face turned and starts kissing all over ur face as you giggle letting mystery girl to just shuffle away.

for the rest of the date she is SO overly affectionate

squeezing ur hips

keeping you so close

kissing your cheek and neck as you tell her about all the fish and animals

"really baby? that's so cool" "my little biologist" "ooo princess what about these?"

it's times like these julien wishes she wore lipstick to leave a mark on your face so everyone knows

she's probably taking you to the gift shop and buying you some random thing for fun because when she's jealous she doesn't take it out on you, she's secure with you and knows you aren't doing anything but being your pretty self

in fact it just makes her softer and more affectionate

when you finally let her drag you out she had you against the car kissing you lovingly and deeply and sets her forehead against yours

"i just love you so much. my sweet girl. my priincess"

"all yours j."

note from c: i hope this is at least semi ok? literally no editing or even proof reading, just love sick delusion.

[wintfleur]

₊˚ෆ impromptu escape !

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( this is very self indulgent tbh , I love Stella and sunghoon and I hope you guys do to !! Please let me know what you guys think mwah x )

𐙚 summary ( Stella decides to have a impromptu trip to South Korea to visit her best friend Sunghoon , after having a bad argument with Luke when he finds out about her and Rutger )

stellahughes added to their story !

🎵Paradise- BTS

[caption: seoul I am in you 🫦 ]

_quinnhughes replied to your story ‘please be careful, have a safe flight, text me when you land 🩷’

markestapa replied to your story ‘I have been knocking on your dorm door with hot chocolate for ten minutes. Only to find out that you are not even in the fucking country ?????’

carmenbarlowe replied to your story ‘have the best time my sweet 😽🫶🏻’

luca.fantilli replied to you story ‘come back soon pls 💔’

dylanduke25 reacted with 😦

Lilybaileys reacted with 🛩️

trevorzegras replied to your story ‘SINCE UH WHEN??’

jackhughes replied to your story ‘be safe okay? Love you butthead’

ahndaesee replied to your story ‘the wording is immaculate stell 🫶🏻’

colecaufield replied to your story ‘be safe stella ❤️’

simjaeyunn replied with ‘STELLA I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHOW YOU ‼️’

notriki replied with ‘LETS GOOOOO 🗣️ (hoon wouldn’t let me come to the airport with him bcuz of jake ☹️)’

edwards.73 reacted with 🩷

rutgermcgroarty replied with ‘I miss my pretty girl 😭’

pshoon2002 replied with ‘the hug I’m about to give you 😮‍💨🫵’

stellahughes

liked by jamie.drysdale , mollyannmcg , _alexturcotte and others

🎵Blue Hour - TOMORROW X TOGETHER

stellahughes: missed the views sm (and the food)

view all 3,285 comments

username STELLA IN KOREA WE ALL CHANT ‼️

username pls teach us how to be so aesthetically pleasing like you I beg 🙏

username THE PICNIC??? IS STELLA ON A DATE?

username what’s your favorite tanghulu??

stellahughes strawberry 🍓 !!!

username what’s your go to show to watch on flights?

stellahughes gossip girl or supernatural 😽

username AHHH anyone remember how Stella mentioned her go to date was at a aquarium 🫢

username STELLA WHO IS THE BOYYY

username KARAOKE TOO? DROP THE VIDS 🙏



LiamBarlowe bring me back some snacks please

stellahughes dw lilo i got you 🫶🏻

Lilybaileys BBG I MISS YOUR FACE 😾

stellahughes faceless pictures are more aesthetic 😼

Lilybaileys gurl pls.

_alexturcotte you travel more than me and it’s part of my job?

stellahughes it’s because I’m not BORING like YOU 🫵

_alexturcotte hey now what’s with all the tude 🤔

gabeperreault44 I don’t know what those are but I want ten of them.

stellahughes I’ll make you some when I come visit 🫶🏻

jackhughes the house is so much nicer without you 🥳

stellahughes CAN YOU GO AWAY OMFG 😺

luca.fantilli hair is hairing 😍

stellahughes LUCA PLS 😭

colecaufield did you sing 22?

stellahughes OH DID I 😼

pshoon2002 my ears are still ringing.

stellahughes you bitch @/pshoon2002

trevorzegras your growing up so fast 🙁

stellahughes why are you suddenly being so sentimental? 😭

trevorzegras why are you being so judgmental 😑

matthew.sturniolo okay but like how much mc did you play on the flight

stellahughes let’s just say we won’t have to worry about iron again 😼

matthew.sturniolo YOU BUILT THE IRON FARM?

stellahughes well we both know Chris’s lazy ass wasn’t gonna

christophersturniolo sorry but I’m not leaving the caves, Nick is gonna kill me and steal my shit 💀

nicolassturniolo YOU KILLED MY SHEEP YOU FUCK @/christophersturniolo

username Stella has a mc world with the triplets omg 😭

username such pretty pics omg

username will there be a vlog for this trip?

stellahughes not this time sorry 🫶🏻

simjaeyunn haha and the people right? haha you missed the people too right? 😃

stellahughes yes jake I missed you guys too 🫶🏻

thekimsunooo not me hearing jake screaming through the walls 😭

stellahughes is he okay???

theonlywon yeah just delusional

williamnylander enjoy your trip Estella!

stellahughes thank you Willy ☺️🫶🏻 (come visit or I’ll cry)

williamnylander you come visit or ILL cry 🫵

stellahughes oop you got me there 😃

cam.york visit me next okay 👍🏻

colecaufield if you visit him before me, I will riot Stella

stellahughes I’m visiting neither of you, I’m going to go see Jamie ☺️

trevorzegras Jamie AND Trever you mean 😃

stellahughes Jamie ☺️

jamie.drysdale 🤗

stellashotboyfie god I miss you you so much

entersteller I miss you more, wish you were here with me 😖

vinniehacker next time I’m coming with

stellahughes bet

pshoon2002 added to their story !

🎵 Eternal Sunshine - ATEEZ

[caption: my eternal ☀️]

simjaeyunn replied to your story ‘hahah 😁 back tf off 😆’

Lilybaileys replied to your story ‘she was mine first 🫦’

pshoon2002 who is she with rn??? Mhmm

leeseungie replied to your story ‘when will you guys be coming back to the dorm, Jay wants to know when he should start dinner?’

pshoon2002 on our way back rn

carmenbarlowe replied to your story ‘the prettiest princess’

pshoon2002 👑

trevorzegras replied to your story ‘hmmm suspicious 🤨’

pshoon2002 no.

stellahughes

liked by _eliaspettersson, jacob_truscott20, _willsmith2 and others

🎵 Weekend - TAEYEON

stellahughes: professional cat petter and part time soju enjoyer🧃

view all 4,657 comments

username stella in korea is my favorite stella 🫶🏻

pshoon2002 I agree.

_quinnhughes Stella there are a lot of soju bottles in this post…

stellahughes I have no idea what your talking about 👩🏻‍🦯

_quinnhughes literally look at your caption?

stellahughes no idea how that got there

username THE BOY IS BACK

username SOFT LAUNCH??

username Stella don’t be shy, who’s the boy 🤭

dylanduke25 not Stella being in her alcoholic era without me

stellahughes DYLAN PLS UR GONNA GET ME IN TROUBLE 😭

jackhughes THATS A LOT OF ALCOHOL MISSY

jackhughes YOU LEAVE AND BOOM SUDDENLY MAKE BAD DECISIONS

jackhughes YOU BRAT I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THESE

jackhughes I…I miss you 🙄

stellahughes are you on something??

jackhughes @/pshoon2002 you are a terrible babysitter

pshoon2002 TF I DO?

jackhughes 🐀🐀🐀

username ofc she’s drinking 🙄

username who is that boy? I thought she was with Trevor…

username where is Luke? He hasn’t liked or commented her last few posts?

luca.fantilli pls tell me you bought that dog

stellahughes I really really REALLY wanted to but it wouldn’t fit in my suitcase . . . this is your sign to buy it and send it to me @/pshoon2002

pshoon2002 🙄👍🏻

username where is Luke’s comment :(

username THE CATS 😭

username THE BOY OMG THE BOY

username THE 6th PICTURE THO 😍

stellahughes I knowww right??? So pretty 🥹

nicohischier I hope you are having a great time Estella ❣️

stellahughes thank you Nico, I am 🥰

markestapa MEOW 😻

stellahughes MARK?

arberxhekaj_ I’m gonna need 50 of whatever that is, in the 2 pic 💳

stellahughes COMING RIGHT UP SIR 🫡

username I can’t see your face but I know you look so pretty

stellahughes I LOVE YOU MWAH 💋

_alexturcotte I’d never leave

jackhughes DONT GIVE HER ANY IDEAS ❌

stellashotboyfie the kiss I’m about to give you when you come back

entersteller panties are dropped 🫦

carmenbarlowe STELLA PUT THE PHONE DOWN.

username okay but like who is taking the pictures of her?

username her secret boyfriend? The boy is the pictures?

rutgermcgroarty okay but like the the clouds

stellahughes absolutely stunning am I right 📷

vinniehacker wanna play valo?

stellahughes yeah sure let me just steal someone’s set up

vinniehacker cool

stellahughes vins I was being sarcastic 😭

vinniehacker 😪

edwards.73 BRING ME BACK SOUVENIERS PLS

stellahughes okay you greedy bitch 👍🏻

edwards.73 I miss you too 🫶🏻

entersteller added to their story !

🎵I see the light - Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi

[caption: in my Rapunzel era ☺️]

rutgermcgroarty replied to your story ‘does that make me your Flynn rider?’

entersteller i’m on my knees for you 🫦

rutgermcgroarty BABE PLEASE 😭

Lilybaileys relied to your story ‘okay but mother gothel let me smash mommy 😋’

entersteller LILY??

elblue6 reacted with 🩷

luca.fantilli replied to your story ‘

_quinnhughes replied to your story ‘glad you are having fun stink🩷’

colecaufield replied to your story ‘Pascal my goat’

entersteller I KNOW THATS RIGHT ‼️

jackhughes reacted with 🥹

tyler__duke5 replied to your story ‘AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT🎤’

entersteller AND ITS LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED 🎤

_willsmith2 reacted with 🦎

nicolassturniolo replied to your story ‘okay but like I need to go there, like yesterday’

entersteller I’m taking you with me next time omg

leeseungie replied to your story ‘so this is where you guys went 🙄’

jjaypark replied to your story ‘we found the restaurant’

entersteller yippee!! I’m getting the guys rn :3

notriki replied to your story ‘WHY DID YOU TWO DITCH ME AND LEAVE ME WITH JAKE AND HEESEUNG 😭’

entersteller AHH IM SORRY WE’RE RUNNING BACK RN

pshoon2002 added to their story !

🎵Dance The Night Away - TWICE

[caption: last night out @/entersteller @/simjaeyunn @/jjaypark @/leeseungie @/thekimsunooo @/notriki @/theonlywon]

_quinnhughes replied to your story ‘how drunk did she get 😓’

pshoon2002 she had a few drinks but then she remembered how her and Luke aren’t talking and the she started downing drinks like water 😬

_quinnhughes poor thing, is she okay?

pshoon2002 she has a nasty hangover but she’s seems to be okay, she’s playing video games with the guys , there doing a good job at keeping her mind off it.

_quinnhughes thank you for this sunghoon, she really needed this vist

pshoon2002 no need to thank me, you know I’ll always be here for her.

thekimsunooo reacted with 🧃

simjaeyunn replied to your story ‘was I drunk or did Stella confess her love for me last night? 🤭’

pshoon2002 Jay and heeseung had to carry you into the dorm 🤨

simjaeyunn because I was so happy from Stella confessing her love i couldn’t walk?

pshoon2002 no because you were fucking wasted

simjaeyunn oh 😣

jackhughes replied to your story ‘WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS GETTING MY SISTER DRUNK HUH??’

pshoon2002 IM NOT ?? its not my fault your little brother is an ass and hurt stells feelings 😐

daisospahm replied to your story ‘is this is why I woke up to 30 texts and 17 missed calls from Stella smh’

daisospahm replied to your story ‘I can’t believe I missed out on drunk Stella 😞’

pshoon2002 yeah you left me all alone to take care of her 😐

jjaypark replied to your story ‘I did not know Stella could drink that much’

pshoon2002 neither did i 😟

leeseungie replied to your story ‘Stella is my favorite drunk’

theonlywon replied to your story ‘dance the night away?? More like Jake and Stella drank the night away 😟’

notriki replied to your story ‘favorite part of the night was Stella talking about Rut and Jake looking like he was gonna off himself 😭’

entersteller added to their story !

🎵Fairy of Shampoo - TOMORROW X TOGETHER

[caption: my going away present from hoonie :( ]

rutgermcgroarty replied to your story ‘I don’t know how I feel about you having another’s man’s name on your back 😕’

entersteller don’t tell anyone but I prefer yours 💋

daisospahm replied to your story ‘gasps’

entersteller dw i’m bringing you one home bbg 😽

jackhughes replied to your story ‘the only name you should be wearing is Hughes, specifically Hughes 86 😾’

entersteller I think you mean hischier 13 🫦

jackhughes STELLA I SWEAR

notriki replied to your story ‘mine looks better smh’

entersteller agreed. don’t tell hoonie he will find a way to crash my flight

notriki HAHA IM TELLING JAKE THO

simjaeyunn reacted with 💔

trevorzegras replied with ‘BUT YOU REFUSE TO WEAR MINE?’

entersteller I JUST LIKE JAMIES MORE 🤷🏻‍♀️

luca.fantilli reacted with 😍

pshoon2002 replied to your story ‘you’ve never looked better 😻’

entersteller

liked by leeseungie, ryan.leno_4 , edwards.73 and others

🏷️ pshoon2002

🎵 Polaroid Love - ENHYPEN

entersteller: I will be keeping this short because hoonie’s ego does not need to get any bigger ‼️— but I just wanted to make a little appreciative post for my bestie who has been by my side through everything, even through we have thousands of miles between us, he’s never failed to be there for me. yes he can be a major ass, but he’s my ass 🫶🏻

ty for being my platonic soulmate hugsy, and the best skating partner I ever had 🩷

view all 25 comments

pshoon2002 hmm 7/10 , the start was definitely rocky but i appreciate the sentiment 👍🏻

pshoon2002 this is kinda sweet ig

pshoon2002 what is this strange feeling i have in my heart? its making me feel like i could cry?

entersteller SUNGHOON BE SO SERIOUS RN.

pshoon2002 let me be in my tsundere era in peace dimples

entersteller I- ykw, whatever you say hugsy 😭👍🏻

markestapa where’s my designated post?

entersteller up your ass, call Ethan to help you find it. I’m sure he knows his way around it 👍🏻

markestapa HELLO??

edwards.73 why tf am I catching strays here ‼️

daisospahm my two favorite people 🫶🏻

edwards.73 excuse me???

daisospahm I miss you come back

entersteller I’ll be home soon bbg 😽

leeseungie don’t let his ‘tsundere’ act fool you, I can hear him sobbing in his room

pshoon2002 this is defamation and I will sue

jjaypark I can hear you over my guitar @/pshoon2002

entersteller awe hoonie I knew you loved me @/pshoon2002 🫶🏻

luca.fantilli bro’s like ethereal

pshoon2002 hey 😼

entersteller NO BACK OFF HOONIE

rutgermcgroarty HES OURS ‼️

pshoon2002 HES THE ONE WHO COMPLEMENTED ME TF???

tatemcrae the onesies are everythinggg

entersteller they are so comfy, hehe I’ll buy us some 😫

jackhughes you guys skated together again 😖 why am I getting emotional

pshoon2002 bro is high on pain meds 😭

jackhughes I fucking hate you.

pshoon2002 never mind then 🙄

theonlywon I can smell jakes jealousy through the walls

simjaeyunn no that’s jays stank ass feet tf

entersteller LMAOOO JAKE 😭

_quinnhughes okay but when is hoon coming to visit hmm?

entersteller good question quinny… AHEM @/pshoon2002

pshoon2002 when I’m freed and given a break 😪

leeseungie Our ice prince and princess 👑🙇

pshoon2002 I KNOW THATS RIGHT 🗣️‼️

elblue6 awe I miss you two so much 💙

pshoon2002 I miss you to mamma hughes 💙

pshoon2002 ….I love you dimples 🩷

entersteller I love you more hugsy 🩷

pshoon2002 added to their story !

🎵TFW (That Feeling When) - ENHYPEN

[caption: help how do i convince her to stay 😣 ]

simjaeyunn replied to your story ‘ body - ody - ody - ody x ♾️ 😻’

pshoon2002 gtfo.

daisospahm replied to your story ‘she’s coming back home to me 😼

pshoon2002 I will actually fight you.

notriki replied to your story ‘not mother leaving 😖’

pshoon2002 she’s not your mother niki

notriki MOTHER 😫

pshoon2002 STOP YOU FREAK

leeseungie replied to your story ‘how hungover is she?😭’

pshoon2002 this is your fault 🫵

leeseungie HUH?? Jay was the one to order the drinks not me, how was I supposed to know she was gonna take the drinking games so seriously…

jackhughes replied to your story ‘I will sue you for kidnapping if she doesn’t come home’

stellahughes replied to your story ‘the song choice ☹️ oh hugsy I’ll be back soon I promise 🫶🏻’

pshoon2002 miss you already dimples 💔

rutgermcgroarty reacted with 🫦

Lilybaileys replied to your story ‘who’s that babe??’

pshoon2002 my bsf 💪🏻

Lilybaileys bitch don’t even start

thekimsunooo reacted with 🥹

stellahughes added to their close friends !

🎵Whatcha say - Jason Derulo

[caption: GG Marathon just to put me in the mood for the rest of the week <3 ]

jackhughes replied to your story ‘felt like I was in the thanksgiving scene when Luke walked in on you and rut, with how betrayed he looked 🤣’

stellahughes Jack you are not helping tf 😕

carmenbarlowe replied to your story ‘I’m chuck bass 😼’

markestapa replied to your story ‘POOKIE IVE MISSED YOU SM I CANT BELIEVE YOUR ALMOST HERE 😭’

edwards.73 replied to your story ‘thank god you are back, now you and Luke can make up because I can’t deal another day with grumpy and pouty Luke. He misses you ☹️’

stellahughes I’ve tried talking to him multiple times Ethan, there’s only so much I can do. If he really misses me, he’ll reach out.

elblue6 replied to your story ‘my beautiful girl is home 🩷’

stellahughes I missed you so much mom, I’m in dire need of a mom hug :(

pshoon2002 replied to your story ‘so should I start looking for tickets for you to come back dimples?’

stellahughes hoonie I just left 😭

pshoon2002 yeah and now you can come back :(

luca.fantilli replied to your story ‘we are all going out for dinner now that you are back and you can’t say no.’

stellahughes I am craving a good steak rn ngl

mollyannmcg replied to your story ‘thank god, rut has been insufferable while you were gone’

stellahughes I’m sorry babes 😭

simjaeyunn reacted with 😭

dylanduke25 replied to your story ‘YOUR BACK, LETS GET DRUNK!!’

stellahughes PLS PLS PLS (I have the worst hangover rn)

dylanduke25 should I be worried that you’re becoming an alcoholic Stella.

stellahughes ….nooo I’m fine 🫶🏻

rutgermcgroarty replied to your story ‘actually shaking in excitement to see you baby’

stellahughes god ur so cute 😽

Lilybaileys replied to your story ‘MY WIFE IS ALMOST HOME , EVERYONE REJOICE’

mackie.samo replied to your story ‘LETSS PARTY🥳’

stellahughes I AM SO DOWN 🥳

vinniehacker replied to your story ‘valo?’

stellahughes ykw, yes pls 😭

notriki replied to your story ‘😖’

stellahughes I WILL BE BACK SOON I PROMISE

ahndaesee replied to your story ‘me and rut will be at the airport to pick you up, let’s get food after? 😽’

stellahughes YIPPEE 🫦

au masterlist - you can find everything under #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes!

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I just want to apologize for my sudden disappearance with this au, i was busy with some other things outside of tumblr and just couldn’t find the time/motivation to work on anything! But I’m back, I really hope you guys enjoyed this . . . I’m sorry for the lack of comments on the posts, I was struggling 😭)

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( also rutger’s private instagram is @/stellashotboyfie . . . and yes i decided that vinnie and Stella are friends )

°. — taglist ( @lovings4turn @cixrosie @toasttt11 @bunbunbl0gs @petite-potato4 @winterbarnesblog @yoontwin @iceflwers )

©️WINTFLEUR

[thejockout]

Subject Diaries #0.5 - Jockout the Subject, Part 2

(okay this is the last edging post of this series lol)

Last time I discussed my history/beliefs around masculinisation and erotic TF hypnosis, just to give a foundation of how I think about this stuff.

NOW to get into the slightly juicier details; what am I into, and what have I achieved so far with hypnosis?

WELL. What I'm into is an interesting question; and it's changed a lot in the last 2-3 years. If you'd asked me then what I was into, the answer was a fairly limited range of hypnosis: I was into "dumb jock" style brainwashing... and not much else. I didn't do a lot with either sub/dom-coded files, and had yet to discover several of my major kinks! It's kind of weird looking back at how little I used to be into, tbh. But I feel like that's often the way with kinks, they kinda spread over time.

For hypnosis, my current core interests are the following:

Masculinisation - specifically shit like changes in media consumption, physical mannerisms like manspreading or gait, and attitude adjustments. This blurs the line with the next point, but really just covers the whole gamut of a "bro" or "jock" type personality, and is the primary thing I've been into for years.

Dumbing Down - this was a kink I was very on again/off again with for a while before finding my balls and embracing it wholeheartedly. Like many subs, I used to really fear being "Permanently Dumbed Down" and losing skills and traits I need for work/my ambitions. But that's not a realistic fear and not really how hypnosis works, so now I embrace it pretty wholeheartedly. Nothing hotter than coming out of trance unable to spell or think straight. I love seeing the changes in my communication that come from it, and the actual feeling of hypnosis-induced brain fog. (And, being seen as a dumbass is a big kink too, and a nice ongoing goal.) Also included here is the whole subcategory of like, wanting to be malleable and easily hypnotisable, wanting to be someone who drops like a stone and is super impacted by suggestion. I've got some friends who come to mind when I talk about that, and it's always hot to see how easily they sink.

Corruption - this is sort of a broader, underpinning kink to the rest of the stuff I'm into; but it's a desire I have to want to be changed, to have someone coy and sly and sneaky manipulate me into changing in ways most would consider "for the worse." Making me dumber, more single-minded, more narcissistic, more self-indulgent. Fuck, bro. I get off on the idea of someone making me into their personal monster... especially if it goes a little too far from their POV and they can't walk it back. This underpinning desire for corruption is sort of what fuels my love of Dumbing Down and, in recent years, super Dom-coded Toxic Alpha type hypno generally. It's play I think you need to be careful with, but I've been having a good time so far and don't think I'd have ever started making files like Brute if I hadn't gone in that direction myself.

I listen to files outside these three themes, but generally they need to have at least one for me to be into them, and the best tick all three boxes.

I briefly listed a few files I'd listened to a bunch in my previous Diaries post; those being Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series, Avis' Sapiens general catalog, and Rigsby's Absolute Jock. I've probably listened to 100s of hours of both the MC-series and Avis' work. My time on Absolute Jock was a looot lower, but tis the best of the old guard of jock files on WarpMyMind. Overall, it's a lot of time to have dedicated to this kinda hypno! So you'd expect to see some results, right?

...Yeeeahhh, well, I'm still kind of a Work In Progress on that front. I have seen results, but I held myself back with anxiety and overthinking (about hypnosis) for years of this, so I've really only started to show change in the last year or so. That being said, the years of repeated conditioning have done a number on me lol.

EFFECTS I'VE SEEN

Successful Media Brainwashing - I did the unthinkable and successfully made myself a sports fan via hypnosis. It's kinda weird. For years I really struggled to even get through a game; then with hypnosis, I gradually started to just get suuper horny when I watched sports instead, which wasn't really any better because I'd just jerk off and lose interest. But sometime in the last two years, I kinda just got into it gradually and now watch for authentic, general interest. This was a real pipe dream at 17 when I envied how all the jock-types in my class could be totally absorbed and single-minded watching or playing a game, but I ended up getting there in the end! Not American so don't watch American Football/basketball/baseball or whatever, but I like rugby/hurling/F1 ✌️I credit this to Jack Drago's work, specifically Files 2 and 4 of the MC series; Manly Media Bubble and Male Oriented Interests.

General Personality Change - this is a WIP suggestion, but it's been interesting seeing myself change over the last 12 months especially. I've become a lot more dominant, confident, cocky, and even self-centered especially in online kink type contexts. IRL, I've just become more dominant and less willing to take shit; but that's only ever a good thing. It's interesting Because the nature of this kind of change, which happens so slowly over time, is that it can be difficult to look back and see the points where you used to behave differently. But sometimes like... especially since doing Douchebag-type files, sometimes I'll criticise someone or make fun of something and get a surprised reaction from a friend who wasn't expecting me to take it that far. And it always makes me feel a little good to surprise them in that way, to violate their expectations of how Nice I should be. I'm always Nice to them, and to anyone decent, but you've really gotta make me WANT to treat you well to get that now. Some people will read this and feel annoyed, or roll their eyes, but I kinda don't care. It's what I'm into. It's what I've GOTTEN into. (It's all Avis' fault really tbh.)

Libido Increase - this was a slow creeping change overtime, but went from getting off maybe 1x a day/5x a week or so to probably getting off 3x a day currently. Got a lot better at thinking with my dick and am super easy to make horny, which helps feed into the next suggestion on the list;

Dumbing Down - this is the suggestion I've had the MOST recent breakthrough with. For the month of January, I listened daily to @hyphyphurray's Muscle Boy file, interspersed with his Happy Horny Himbo and @avissapiens' Intellect Drain. Dumbing Down was always something I'd struggled to conceptualise hypnotically, but I had a perspective shift this month as to what dumbing FEELS LIKE on an ongoing basis. While under some mild post-trance haze, I wrote this snippet about it in preparation for the post a week ago:

(Don't worry, I'll summarise it.)

The tl;dr of that message is that I realised "permanent" dumbing would feel less like brain fog/tipsiness, and more like apathy towards intellectual topics. It's a priority shift, or a behavioural change; not a magic finger plucking facts out of your brain so you forget the answers. It's sort of like it just fucks with your desire to know things/answer questions instead. The information might still be there, if you hunt; but why would you? Who cares, bro? Does it even matter?

Since making that perspective shift, it's like a few years of dumbing has crept in all at once, and it's been super interesting. I'm not going to over dramatise it (I'm desperate NOT to become an RP-type blog with this) because in contexts like writing, schoolwork, etc., I think just as clearly and easily. But in leisure contexts, in hypnosis, just in chatting with bros... I feel that intellectual apathy creep in allll the time. Trying to think of an answer to something and just giving up two seconds in, because "it's easier not to think about it." Trying to remember something and quitting because "if it was that important, I'd have remember." Letting my typos and message flubs sit because "they can figure it out lol" and not over analysing whether everything I say is totally coherent or rich.

I understand the irony of me speaking in huge depth about this here, when what I'm saying is that I'm thinking less. But like I said, it's kinda contextual. If anyone was interested, I'd consider writing a hornier post under the influence of trance sometime so the difference can be seen, but right now... I'm just taking this a little more formally, I guess? Idk, I'm torn between wanting it to be pseudo-educational and also just having made myself horny writing so much about dumbing, and when I'm horny I REALLY feel that haze start to creep in and I kinda wanna just stop this an edge or something and go do anything else that's more fun 🥴

So in the spirit of the post, I'm gonna go do that.

JANUARY WRAP-UP

For the month of January, most of what I listened to were Hyphyphurray's files listed above (the number in green = the number of times I listened to them). They are paid files, but they're well worth the price, and I recommend them to anyone into this shit. I also listened to Avis' Intellect Drain 5-6 times as a supplement because I love how that just makes my brain turn off for a while.

Not sure atm what I'm gonna listen to through February, I've bounced between Muscle Boy and Avis' Toxic Douchebag Alpha a few times so far but will likely commit to one track for the month.

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This is post #2 of my broader Subject Diaries series, a blog series I plan to maintain on a fortnightly/monthly basis updating people on what I've been listening to, files I've been enjoying, and effects I've been experiencing. When I'm not trancing, I'm usually off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland, but I am always available for commissions here on Tumblr/Soundcloud if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $55-80, but you can always check my pinned post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi, but you'll have to DM for the first.