#so i TRIED to stay vague

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[rotruff]

night so long you start thinking of your f/o taking care of you so you can just lay down . night so long you start thinking abt them taking off coats and unzipping dresses or unbuttoning shirts and being careful when they take off any makeup or glasses and giving gentle little reminders when they hand over any medications or even just a glass of water to make sure you've had some.

[satyrcatartz]

u guys know those “giving my Italian husband (x) food/(x) American thing” tik toks. well yeah Hetalia Prumano semi-rare pair attack

my friend and I have been. Obsessed with those. Why does she. Why. It’s like aggravating a chihuahua for views and it’s the most entertainment. Tbh. This art looks SO shitty but the Prumano brain rot is too real for me… Also I saw the pizza burger irl the other day and I don’t wanna talk about it

[moe-broey]

First order of business.

Divorce Timeline.

[autisticlee]

sometimes being autistic really separates me from other people. there's an invisible wall that separates me from people, society, the world. all those things can reach through the wall and slap me around, but it's one way. I can't reach them. and they never pat me on the head. nothing nice comes through. and I can't get out. I try to share good things. nothing gets through the wall. they see it as I purposely don't come out of the room i'm locked in. they think I act like i'm too good for them. they are offended and reach in to slap me. i'm desperately screaming and trying to reach out to them. trying to be part of things. but I can't. I can't connect with them. I can't be part of society. this wall isn't my doing, but they are making sure it stays up and making sure they only send negative signals through. know I can't stay behind this wall or I literally can't live. but also can't get out. i'm stuck and blamed for it. told i'm not trying and it's on purpose. i've been kicking and screaming at the wall my whole life and didn't make a dent. the lonliness and disconnection that can be felt when autistic is something nonautistic people will never feel or understand.

[01tsubomi]

i made super delicious curry with pork, potatoes, carrots, eggplant, green pepper, mushrooms, and pumpkin and because of how big a pot i made it's only like $2 per portion. adult success

[yansurnummu]

thinking about this again for some reason but in my fic I described zerith as smelling like incense and in my mind I'm imagining specifically like. palo santo or something. just a very nice smoky & sweet woody smell.

[talkorsomething]

want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald

[muninnhuginn]

Li Tianchen and Li Tianxi timeline

This is my attempt to piece together what I think the most likely chain of events is regarding the twins from the evidence we have as of season two episode nine.

X years prior to present day

Li Tianchen meets Liu Xiao at the fountain. Liu Xiao says that you have to really gun for what you want. He speaks of how the world is a "jungle" and only a few can evolve and become "hunters", else they must be prey. Li Tianchen internalises this.

Seven years prior to present day

Li Tianchen and Li Tianxi live with their parents. Their father (Li Fan) hears rumours of their mother (Liu Lan) cheating on him (rumours which their neighbour stoked - he's one of the rumour birds in ep 9) and uses it as an excuse to physically abuse her and threaten them all with a hammer when they try to help her. Li Tianchen and Li Tianxi flee to the other room. At this point, Li Tianchen and Li Tianxi are touching each other (but not Liu Lan) and Li Tianxi is clutching the photograph taken earlier that day. It appears as though Liu Lan (possessed) takes the hammer and approaches Li Fan but we don't get to see the full scene before CXS is thrown out of the dive and there is no knife involved at this stage. When we return, Liu Lan is dead by knife and Li Fan by hammer. Li Tianchen later claims to Qian Jin that he killed both of them. However, we haven't seen what actually happened and Tianxi's later retelling has a flashback of Liu Lan apologising to her which must happen sometime in the blanked out scene.

The twins meets Qian Jin at the site of the crime scene, who takes them both on board and modifies the police files relating to their case. The twins have their police files erased and vanish and Qian Jin quits the force.

Y months prior to the current day

We next see Tianchen and Qian Jin at a meeting with Liu Min. This appears to be several years later as Tianchen seems much older. Liu Min says Qian Jin has already helped "resolve matters with that woman" (I do think he literally means in a lawyerly way in retrospect rather than a murdery way, especially when QJ's first response to him asking to take care of the online attacks is to say "I'll send them letters".). As Liu Min has use of his legs at this point, this places this scene at prior to season one episode one and so months before season two.

Liu Min is asking QJ and Tianchen to target his "haters", that is, those who talk badly of him or spread rumours about him online, and his first target is Tianchen's former neighbour. It seems that the neighbour hasn't changed his rumour-spreading ways. Tianchen laughs.

Chronologically alongside and after season one episode one

Liu Min tries to threaten Emma after the games company news breaks and his embezzled money is at risk. It gets out of hand and he ends up with a crashed car and paralysed legs. Emma heads to the bridge, intending to commit suicide, but is stopped by Cheng Xiaoshi. Emma is then possessed via photo by one of the twins and leaps to her death, Cheng Xiaoshi as the only "witness". (The story currently wants us to place this as Li Tianchen doing the possessing and given red eyes speaks this does make most sense but I'm keeping my options open. Tianchen's powers at least include touch possession though and we saw him receive Chen Bin's photo not long before his potential possession.)

End of season one/start of season two

Possessed Liu Min abducts Xu Shanshan and is invited to CXS's "game" the next day. When they show at the photo shop they're trapped in the developing room where they mention that they were "only an agent" (because they were carrying out the killings on behalf of someone else?) and that they would never kill "innocents". Once CXS reveals this was all a trap to get a confession, red eyes then retreats from Liu Min. Liu Min is taken into police custody.

Later that day, when CXS jumps back to try and save Emma, Qiao Ling is possessed and stabs Lu Guang. When CXS returns, possessed QL claims that CXS "cheated" in their game and lets slip that CXS's powers "also" involve photos, with the "also" having heavy implications.

Liu Min is possessed again and made to commit suicide. It's unclear in which order Lu Guang's stabbing and Liu Min's "suicide" happen and whether they occur simultaneously or not.

Happening chronologically alongside season two episode two

Qian Jin retrieves a photo of Chen Bin and passes it on to Li Tianchen.

Chen Bin is (potentially) possessed, confiscates Liu Min's phone and passes it off to Xiao Ma (Qian Jin's lackey). He then falls from top of the hospital building. (Note: Tianxi's telling of her backstory shows a shot of Chen Bin apologising and crying. It could technically have taken place at any time, but it makes most sense it fits here)

One of the twins at the staircase asks Xiao Ma for Liu Min's phone. They don't speak and even though at a glance the fringe seems to resemble Li Tianchen's it seems to make more sense at this stage for this to be Li Tianxi. This occurs chronologically before the scene in the next paragraph as Xiao Ma is confronting CXS and QL when LG tries to leave his hospital room and is arrested immediately following the confrontation.

Lu Guang tries to leave the room and receives a photo from what appears to be Li Tianxi. This has a photo of Liu Lan and Li Tianxi on the front and the back says about not wanting to lose a good brother, with a childish doodle next to it. The Tianxi delivering the photo wears a blue jacket and a mask which appears to match with the twin on the staircase.

Season two episode four

A few days appear to have passed since episode two as Chen Bin's funeral has now taken place.

Qian Jin speaks to Xiao Ma and realises that one of the twins took Liu Min's phone. (He updates Liu Jing on this after the funeral though he may have known of it before). Given Tianchen and Qian Jin appear to still be in cahoots as of s2e9, this points to it being Li Tianxi who intercepted the phone.

"Li Tianxi" phones Qian Jin. QJ asks "have you found him?" (I'm using Funi subs here so can't confirm but about 90% sure it was translated like this because the Chinese subs used 'ta' (他) which does mean 'he' but sounds identical to 'ta' (她) which means 'she'. In other words, it could just as easily be "have you found her?" and the og subs used the male 'ta' for ambiguity) Qian Jin comments that this (plan) is "pretty risky" but so long as it's carried out before the police realise it should work. Most likely this is Li Tianchen disguised as Li Tianxi soon to walk straight into a police station. This Tianxi is wearing the pink hoodie as far as I can tell.

This all implies that Li Tianxi is "missing" already and when this is put together with the hospital scenes in episode two, she likely went awol back then or not long after. Li Tianxi fled wearing a school uniform rather than the hoodie of the hospital scenes and it is in this that she is later found.

Qian Jin and Li Tianchen discuss the specifics of Li Tianchen's escape from the police station beforehand. Qian Jin lays out all the instructions of the plan so Tianchen just has to follow them and retrieve CXS.

"Li Tianxi" shows up at the police station and asks for CXS.

Season two episodes six to eight

Tianchen-as-Tianxi uses CXS's sympathies to get him to touch him whereupon he possesses him. He then also possesses Wang Juan and together they leave the police station. Tianchen makes it to the docks but isn't able to take CXS. Instead, LG is taken himself.

Miscellaneous notes

Clothing-wise, in s2, we appear to have Li Tianxi wearing a blue hoodie and a mask at first during the hospital scenes and then later a school uniform when she decides to flee. This is copying Li Tianchen's outfit in the meeting with Liu Min (and his general colour scheme prior to that).

Li Tianchen wears a pink hoodie and when disguised as Li Tianxi he also adds a mask and wig.

In both cases I suspect the mask is used to obscure their identity. Tianxi retrieved the phone as Tianchen and Tianchen infiltrated the police station as Tianxi.

Whilst this layout of events places Liu Min's phone with Tianxi, at the time she is taken into police custody she no longer appears to have it. It may be hidden somewhere important to her or in the place she was found.

I can't place exactly when Li Tianchen meets Liu Xiao again, but am reasonably sure the chronology in the episode is accurate here and it's before LTC meets Liu Min for the first time. Liu Xiao said that LTC would have opportunities to "hunt" in the near future and there Liu Min was. Also, we know that Liu Xiao was studying abroad around the time of the present timeline so it has to have occurred before then (from the 'will we meet again' and 'it's almost time' I'm tempted to say this scene is just before LX leaves for abroad honestly).

Also, LX says the difference between a 'hunter' and a 'beast' is that a hunter hunts even when not hungry - this is where the scales get tipped from self-defence to actively killing - it's an important mental shift for LTC.

[eludin-muses]

really enjoyed that piece! how about niserie and archie?

The sweltering heat was relentless on Solerin citizens today, but it didn't stop a particular elf--Niserie Reythana's mind was set on one thing: training at Arhurst Grasslands. Her muscles burned, her heart pounded within her ribs, and her hair clung to her forehead with sweat. A thick breeze did little to provide her relief as she swiped at her face with a cold towel. Her chest heaved with effort, but she didn't want to stop. Though she knew if she didn't, it would do her more harm than good. Swallowing hard, Niserie gripped her sword pommel tight before placing it away safely into its scabbard. It was only then that realization dawned: she was more tired than she thought--and hungry. Damn, Niserie internally cursed before struggling onto weary feet. A tavern wouldn't hurt before heading back home, probably. And so she began the trek in search of one. Luckily, The Jolly Star wasn't that far away-a small, cozy tavern in Solerin's outskirts. She'd not been, but it looked rather obscure compared to others. Before entering, however, a curious sight gave her pause: a tour bus. Odd. It wasn't very often you'd see someone famous coming through the outskirts, she wondered as she wearily stepped through. The warmness from the tavern's fireplace, various aromas from foods and drinks, and chatter from visitors set her at ease from the ache in her bones and the heat outside, at least for now. Making her way to a stool, Niserie plopped down with a groan. A stranger opposite seemed to notice, fixing her with a concerned yet curious gaze. "The heat outside get you too? It's a real scorcher," he said. "Needed to stop ourselves, it gets you quick." She lifted a brow at him. "Sure. Especially if you've been training all day. So that bus is yours?" Redirecting her attention to the bartender, Niserie decided to just order a cool drink and a light meal-she wouldn't be here long. The stranger hummed the affirmative, gulping his ice water down greedily. "Yeah, it is. I come from Solerin, but we're going to the outskirts of town, and then all the way out to Traice. But that heat, I'm telling you. Nothing like back home!" She blinked, brows knitting in confusion. So whoever this guy was, must've been some kinda hotshot? Smiling politely, he stuck his hand out toward Niserie for a shake. Inviting enough, right? She could only frown, eyeing him hesitantly. "Actually, I was born in Kelis but I moved to Aeredale. My name's Archie Meadows, a musician with a love for rock n' roll, just doing what he loves," he introduced. After another pause, finally coming to the conclusion he wasn't a crook, Niserie finally shook his hand. "Niserie Reythana. Are you some kind of big name around here, then? With your music?" Archie laughed. "Not as much as back home, no! It's getting there. Some know me, some don't. I don't let it get to me. The music was huge there, here sort of." As the two chatted back and forth for quite some time, Niserie, initially on edge, learned more about Archie's intriguing background, the whole teenage idol spiel, and Archie vice-versa with hers. It wasn't her thing really, but she had to give him credit. Fame in that way wasn't something Niserie could deal with. And Archie? He was absolutely blown away by her valor, and heartbroken for her losses. And of course, someone such as Wulfric piqued his interest. Magic was something he'd been around his entire life living in Eludin, though his mother Carolyn wasn't fond of it. If Wulfric hadn't helped her, Archie though, who knows where she'd be now? Soon though, he had to leave: his tour was waiting on him. Reluctantly, he rose, stretching out kinks from sitting far too long. "Next show's on me, Lionheart Concert Hall, if you're interested. Nice talking with you." Flashing another smile, he gave her a nod, then turned to exit. Niserie watched him go, then returned to her meal and drink. What an interesting character, she thought. Perhaps, just perhaps, she'd have to take the young man up on that offer. Give the music a shot.

[dodomingo]

Is there like 'become a human being' intensive career therapy or smth like that or is that something Ronald Raegan un-invented

[treecakes]

so a few months ago the horrible exorcists beat tanunatsu for number of fics on ao3 (hilarious to me btw) and i am curious what the general distribution looks like on here. so…

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

THERE IS AN ESSAY TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN 1984 AND THE CIRCLE JUST TO GET IT OUT OF MY MIND AND THERE'S AN ESSAY OR AT LEAST ANALYSIS LURKING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN INTERNET CENSORSHIP LEADING TO WORDS LIKE "UNALIVE" AND NEWSPEAK BUT BRAIN NO ESSAY WRITING HARDLY EVEN EASY HOBBY WRITING WHICH I'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR YEARS THAT REQUIRES NO STRUCTURE SPECIFICALLY I AM CHEWING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

[lingeringscars]

shauna has an extreme capacity for gentleness, kindness, and compassion.

[brzatto]

Watched talk to me the other night and I can’t believe how good it was

ohhh my god WASN’T IT!!! horror movies are practically all i watch and tbh they can be very repetitive and predictable and formulaic after a while but watching this was the first time in a long time i was having visceral reactions to what was happening on the screen… the initial effect it left on me from my first watch was so brutal i literally didn’t even want to drive home by myself at night after leaving the theater 😭 but even with the horror aspect and tension and atmosphere aside the core of the story is just SO good. i loved loved loved mia, i think nowadays it’s hard to create characters in horror movies without falling back onto old tropes and archetypes but i found her so genuinely likable and charismatic and it’s so tragic seeing her suffer through her grief and how that loss unravels her throughout the movie… everything is just so well executed 😭😭 now i wanna go back for a fourth watch

[mostunwantedfbi]

“you have to go on without me.”

THE MOST CLICHÉ LINES OF DIALOGUE

"Oh no you don't-"

As much as it probably would be easier to leave the writer behind, Agent Mulder couldn't deny that he needed Wake. This was far beyond the simple need of survival and there was something about him that made it feel like he was the most valuable thing on planet Earth. Agent Mulder gripped tightly to Wake's wrist with the pressure of a vice. It was very clear that he wasn't going to let him get very far without him.

"You're coming with me," Agent Mulder asserted, "We got into this mess together and so help me we are getting out of it together. None of this hero bullshit, you get me?"

If there was one thing that was to be admired about the FBI agent, it was certainly his dogged determination. Agent Mulder couldn't let go of something once he had his teeth in it, often to his own detriment.

@champion-of-light