#so glad i woke up after that
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i had a dream i was part of the opla cast and i am filming a scene where my character was supposed to stop zoro and sanji from bickering but i keep forgetting my lines so mackenyu and taz really just waited for me to read through my script again (they look like they wanna go home) it’s so embarrassing
#so glad i woke up after that#they looked so done in my dream#this is so random LMFAO#but i think it's worth sharing#fancy’s randomusings
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This made me giggle wHEEEEEEZE
#Mama tucking him in bed ❤️❤️🥄🥄🥄#LMAO I love every time you draw mob barnaby dawg#Specially after his lore WHEEEZE#Perfection as all things should be#I’m so glad this was the first thing I woke up to LMAOOO
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girl help im thinking about Riku Kingdom Hearts
#Hes so :(#Had a dream I gave him a hug after calling him pretty last night and woke up like 'Im glad I did that i think he needed that' LMAO#hes so babygirl im.#his design is so tasty and hes such an interesting cgaracter to me. like yeah hes an antagonist on the first game#but his redemption arc isnt just 'sorry lol' he constantly strives to be better#and he accepts the darkness as a part of him while never letting it rule him#dont even get me STARTED on how queercoded his darkness is#dont get me wrong: darkness is NOT an analogy for being gay but because of Rikus lack of self acceptance HIS darkness was#AND HE IS SORAS LIGHT. HEAD IN HANDS#sora kingdom hearts#riku kingdom hearts#kh riku#kh#kingdom hearts#soriku#I WANT A RIKU FUNKO POP. THROWING CHAIRS#beverly says stuff
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had a dream that i posted very insane things on tumblr, just deeply unhinged textpost after textpost
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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
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Also wasn't the 2020 election so miserable with how we were all waiting for results for literal fucking days??? Oh my God...
#the suspense was agonizing#bc of the mail-in ballots taking so long#bc of the goddamn pandemic...#also aren't we all glad that trump wasn't in office when it was time to execute vaccine rollouts?#(sighs wistfully) yeah...#we literally weren't even vaxxed when we went to vote that cycle. literally crazy to think about#i almost can't believe we'll like almost certainly know by wednesday morning#like how elections should be!!!#idk how to feel bc the suspense gradually led to hope last time#but in 2016 i literally went to bed expecting everything to be fine and woke up at like 2am to see trump had won#nothing in my life could ever compare to the shock and dread i felt after that#tales from diana#and if i have to repeat that shock and dread now i have no idea what effect it'll have on me#i keep thinking of everything i can do to brace for the worst#to console myself in case this goes sideways again#and i keep thinking well maybe it won't hit as hard as it did for me 8 years ago...#but what if it does? i literally can't anticipate it#not that my feelings are what matters here obviously#but w something so consequential to the world and life as we know it. yeah ive got strong fuckin feelings#i don't wanna emotionally shut down in despair of how bad i expect a second trump term to be. and that's my personal fear#despair is inactionable but it is so so human and i want to be able to serve my community#to dare to hope for a better world!#hope is what's actionable especially if it dares to hope in the face of grim realities#but i know my hope is very fragile so i have to adapt either way#withdrawing from political action is never an option. so we all better vote the right way so i dont become useless#a traitor to myself
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I am never sleeping over at my parents house ever again goddammit
#note to self#the bed that ‘the dog totally doesn’t sleep on’ had hair all over#I had to chase multiple spiders off of it#I woke up about 2 hours ago with my sinuses briefly clear and the entire room smells like cat pee#to the point where I’m scared I smell like it too#the AC went out but nobody warned me before I got here#the answer to that was fans and leaving the windows open#which was nice and quiet after midnight. but at 3:45? So Many Birds#I love birds and I’m glad they’re able to chat#but they are so loud here and I am so sleepy#and I can’t close the window cuz I need airflow cuz it’s so warm#the tv is loud as hell and I can hear it all the way in my room over the sound of birds#I went and turned it down once dad started snoring but when mom got up she turned it back up to watch a movie#AND because they have to deal with the AC repair guy today idk who’s driving me home/when#I love the animals and if I had a vehicle I’d love to adventure around town#but again: cat pee smell. I think I would die if i ran into someone I knew while smelling like cat pee#a lot of this stuff isn’t my parents fault but I’m a petty bitch and I’m very tired
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head in hands . that fucker has not changed a BITTTTT
#casually spills guts#tgis is about my abuser#because he always finds Some fuckihn way 2 crawl into my brain even after i cut it off w him 5 months ago#woke up 2 a text from a friend (whos still Technically Friends with him but . still understands that hes a piece of shit) at around midnigh#text said something like “god [[ABUSERNAME]] is a fucking idiot”#and i was like YOU BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT what did he do this time#and they proceeded 2 tell me he did the same shit he did with ME to someone ELSE#imgonna lose my mind . im so so glad i got away from him when i had the chance#i am Convinced id be six feet under by now if i never left him
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i saw dan and phil on tour this week and they were absolutely delightful <3
#i’m so glad i finally got the chance to see them#i decided against it for interactive introverts and regretted it bc the hiatus happened soon after and i thought they were never coming back#and THEN when dan went on tour it said tickets would go on sale at 10:30 local time#so i set an alarm and woke up… only to find out they had gone on sale an hour earlier :-)#that annoyed me so much that i just gave up on tickets altogether#but yes… a teenage dream of mine finally fulfilled <3
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okay today was like the first time since surgery that i've been able to exist as a human outside my house!! and i had a great time even though i am PAYING FOR IT. HEAVILY 💀
#god my ribs are KILLING ME SLOWLY#anyway i had a good day 🥺🥺🥺 last night my partner and i woke up at the same time#bc we both had to pee. and i totally forgot but when we laid back down i told her ''i'm hungy..''#bc it was like 3 am and i didnt wanna get up. so i just wanted to complain lol#but she woke me up to a big breakfast she ordered in like ''hey it made me sad that you were hungry jn the night-#so i got you and i a big breakfast 🥺👉👈💖'' and UGH it made my heart so happy#and then we chilled out before i decided i could handle leaving home and wanted to go to the mall#and i had a really good time existing in public!!! im getting a little depressed from being bed bound#i FINALLY got after laughter on vinyl after wanting it for like almost 5 years 😭😭😭#and some cute stickers!!! anyway yeah i had a nice day w my baby and it made me happy 🥹💖#as much as im hurting badly rn it was worth it for the lil date 💖💖💖 pain meds should help soon anyway#im just glad to have finally gotten out of the house#chatter#round 2#also let me just say my previous thoracotomy did NOT prepare me for this one.#turns out the open version is VERY DIFFERENT. which i knew but god its so stark when youre living it#p sure by 2 weeks post op last time i was relatively fine!!!! almost back to normal#oh and uh#autumn
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#i can’t wait for the Barbie mugshot meme to die#i know everyone is having fun I just have had the terrible luck of EXTREME OVERSATURATION#and I cannot stand it anymore#did you know I saw it eight times in a period of 10 minutes when I first woke up after the trailer dropped#before I had even seen the original?#(or the trailer for that matter)#I’m at least in the 40s for how many unique character pairings I’ve seen#not counting repeats by different artists#but there’s NO WAY TO BLACKLIST#i feel nuts. i can’t stand this meme and I’m so sorry I want to stop seeing it so bad#I’m glad everyone else is having fun but I’m in hell#i just am not going on twitter for a while because it’s like every other post for me#no one else!!! is getting this many anywhere#just me!!!!#tumblr is only slightly better 3 posts in a row were it at one point yesterday#I’m in hell#not pjo#chitter chatter
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Do you ever have a dynamic where... You don't ship it, at least not romantically, but then one night you have a dream where they're romantically involved/in love, and after that, it's hard not to see them that way?
#i speak#fandom life#i remember vividly back when i was watching stargate#i shipped sam/jack and was so so glad the sam and daniel dynamic was platonic and so good#and then one night i had a dream where after his wife died daniel fell in love with sam#but knew he couldn't say anything bcs he knew she loved jack#so he just quietly pined for her#and i woke up like '... ;-; oh'#and it Stuck in my brain#not the only dynamic this has happened with either
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mae my favourite person on this whole planet who should have definitely burnt the house down by now !! aaah sometimes i don’t even know where to start? you’ve done a lot for me recently even if you didn’t intend to. i was going through such a rough patch and i was losing all my strength and wasn’t sure if i wanted to keep going. you was one of the very few people who actually checked in on me and showed concern. you listened to me and then proceeded to let me fangirl about the auroras and even after that conversation i cried happy tears because it felt so good to have someone listen to me the way you did - so thank you, especially for checking on me. i think if you hadn’t things would be very different right now.
and also my favourite detective from the dango anon evidence board !! you are so unbelievably funny and smart, i’m also head over heels for your writing, whenever i see it on my dash i just want to eat and consume it <3 you made me feel seen regarding a previous situation when i thought that i would look like a bitch when i confided in you about it and if it wasn’t for you and aly i think i’d still be in that situation today and making myself miserable.
i hope you had a fantastic birthday, little sis but your house does terrify me - 💙
STORMIKFRDMME OFFICALLY CRYING RN JMDNMRUJ YALL I- THIS- EURUFRJDEKM I just wanna hug alll of you and never let go
EUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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#no like m actually sobbing#HAPPY TEARS#HOUSE: BURNT HOTEL: TRIVAGO#you can always reach out to me without the fear of being judged or invalidated#whether if you want advice or just want someone to listen i will be here and help you to the best of my ability#and if you don't have the strenght to reach out ill reach out for you. all you have to do is grab my hand#im glad you felt better after talking- honestly i was scared i wasn't helping at all#but reading this really put my heart at ease#ALSO THE DANGO ANON CASE WAS SO FUN#I woke up early just to solve it 🤭#having everyone work together and point fingers and and!!#it really help me grow comfortable with everyone there#and i gained a lot of friends from it too <3 you being the first to give me that warm welcome#thank you again for the birthday wishes and i hope things has been getting better for you 💖💖💖 love you#its literally so late for you and you're writing me these heart clenching messages ahhhhhsahs#hugging you hugging you#my arms hurt from typing ahhh#this just djuyerhhd#gives me life#im glad my friendship has done so much for people- even if we're all far apart
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See I went to bed at like a reasonable time last night, and now I’m sitting here awake at 6:15 🙄
#like a couple more hours and I would not be frustrated and everything will be fine#also I have really bad cramps rn so maybe that’s what woke me up but I don’t know#I’m glad everything waited until after I got home#but it also explains all the fucking tears
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I am very grateful for the hiragana above the kanji in manga and novels...
#i suck so bad at kanji...but then the hiragana clarifies what it is and then its so much easier to read#and no. im not saying in fluent in hiragana. its just easier to read lmaoooo#i was rereading hypmic ch 21 bb vs mtc and jiro says “”良かった!“”#the character 良 threw me off#but above it was よ which is the hiragana for “yo”#so he said “yokatta!” aka “I'm glad” or “I'm relieved”...which makes sense considering sabu-chan just woke up after being ko'd last chapte#i kinda figured thats what he was saying anyway??? but still i dont wanna guess what hes saying from facial expressions alone
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"Would you like to ask your question now?"
"Yes...Why- I mean Would the world be considered a good, nice, and fulfilling place by everyone if I were to wish for peace and cooperativeness.."
"I would think so, child.."
"That wasn't a correct answer...It's a yes or no."
"I have told you my answer."
"I have asked you my question."
...
"Child, what you want is for everyone to be happy. For everyone to be happy is simply not possible. Humans seek the possible and impossible. I have seen they have yearned to kill, hurt, or be hurt. Would you truly want everyone to be happy? Because no matter what, no one will feel as fulfilled as I."
I looked down in thought, "I, I'll tell you my question tomorrow night."
"Be careful, child."
I felt as if I had gotten a bad premonition, but I could no longer ask god. I had woken up. Tonight's the last night to choose my wish. I've asked my question already.
'What should I wish for?' My friends told me to wish to become rich or popular. Some of them even asked me to wish for them to live a good life...My mom told me to wish for money so she could get a car.
I've seen people look at me on the street as if they had saw me from somewhere. The News showed my face for all to see. Random strangers walking up to me and asking what I would do.
Twice, I have nearly been killed twice. The envious and greedy looks sent my way as I walk down the street. Dogs barked at me within their fences.
'Maybe I'll ask to get away from everyone. I could become some sort of animagus from Harry Potter.'
I nearly fell on my back if I hadn't steadied myself. A rock had been thrown at the previous spot I had been standing in.
'Who was that?'
I looked to the left and I saw no one. No cars and no where to hide behind.
"That was weird."
"You could say that again."
"Huh- what!?"
I turn around to face someone, "Who are you?"
But there was no one there...
"I am what you humans would call, a ghost. Though, I once was human as well. Maybe around 4000 years again? Maybe less, maybe more. I don't keep up with the calendar."
"Where are you?!"
"I just said I'm a ghost..."
I let out a breath in disbelief, "Okay...so why are you here?? Talking to me??"
"I suppose I just wanted to tell you that I was the human chosen before you."
I was still unsure, "Okayy...and?"
They sighed, "I've just come to warn you not to wish for eternal life because look what happened to me. Apparently this god has a completely separate definition of life from us. I've just come to tell you that they are tricky and will turn your words into his own and throw them back at you."
I became annoyed at the thought, "I know, I asked him a question and he didn't respond properly."
"Don't worry, you're not alone on that."
"Okay then..Thank you? Bye..?"
"Bye and remember be careful."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
...
"Hello?!?"
'Did that ghost just leave me?'
I shrugged it off. It could be my mind playing tricks on me.. I didn't really know. I just wanted to get some sleep. It's so dark already. Was it always this dark? Did I even eat today? What did I do? I talked with a ghost, but what else? What am I forgetting? Was it important?
I should get home, but I never did.
By time I came to back sense of it all, I was in the room with that god again.
"So what is your wish?"
"..."
"Have you not made up your mind? Do you wish to not wish at all?"
"I want for us to change bodies and abilities completely. We keep the same mindset, but we change places."
"Child...Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Then I will do as you wish."
God appears in your dream and tells you that every 2000 years a person is selected to ask one question and have one wish granted on behalf of all of humanity. You have been selected. You have one week to give your wish and ask your question. The rest of the world knows you were selected.
#I've had several thoughts running through my head while writing#like i wanted to type that the narrator would relive that day for the rest of his life when he asked what they were forgetting#was gonna do a child throwing a rock but i chose a ghost instead#was gonna make it be like the god is under pressure and everything so he was glad to switch places#oof i got bored and undecisive so imma end it on a cliffhanger#it could also be that the ghost couldve been the real god after a ghost was selected after 2000 years and the ghost asked to switch places#said they couldnt wish for more wishes or wish for someone to be alive again (etc etc#they have a whole rulebook for these things)#minksyn#minksyn writing#writers#writers on tumblr#writing prompts#writing inspiration#writeblr#ehhhh i prolly coulda wrote more but ehhhhh thats not on me..#i got some shots today and a pack of candy#it was lightning before the thunder THUNDER THUNDER BRING THE LIGHTNING AND THE THUNDER#its stormed like last night and i had woke up in the middle of the night with the walls shaking#i couldve had the whole world hunt him down#matter fact#I WISH FOR UNLIMITED WISHES TO BE POSSIBLE SO I COULD WISH FOR UNLIMITED WISHES :3333
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