#i just am not going on twitter for a while because it’s like every other post for me
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I’m actually impressed by how well you started getting into the comics after watching the movies
well OBVIOUSSLYYYY what am i gonna do NOT hunt down every piece of media featuring my favorite guys
#snap chats#AND i get to see more of bald wheelchair-user charles if i read the comics like cmon..... what am i gonna do Not read them ....#well. debatably. they take his chair away like every other run it pisses me off BUT HE DOES STAY BALD. MOST OF THE TIME. anyways.#probably also helps ive. generally always liked marvel comics- just grew up more as an avengers kid lol#also deadpool somewhat... my brother collected the omnibus series and sometimes i read those#anyways no if you know me at all once i latch onto something I Latch On#like. concerningly so. if i go into debt it'll because i splurged on xmen comics or something#i dont play around about my favorite guys ... and now that im given likek sixty years worth of stuff of My Favorite Guys#ima be here a while ... be here divin and readin and throwin up ...#i wanna be like that one twitter user who's Apparently running?? out of batman comics to read ??? the fuck ....#i wanna be that but for xmen. not anytime soon tho im slooowwww 😩
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#i can’t wait for the Barbie mugshot meme to die#i know everyone is having fun I just have had the terrible luck of EXTREME OVERSATURATION#and I cannot stand it anymore#did you know I saw it eight times in a period of 10 minutes when I first woke up after the trailer dropped#before I had even seen the original?#(or the trailer for that matter)#I’m at least in the 40s for how many unique character pairings I’ve seen#not counting repeats by different artists#but there’s NO WAY TO BLACKLIST#i feel nuts. i can’t stand this meme and I’m so sorry I want to stop seeing it so bad#I’m glad everyone else is having fun but I’m in hell#i just am not going on twitter for a while because it’s like every other post for me#no one else!!! is getting this many anywhere#just me!!!!#tumblr is only slightly better 3 posts in a row were it at one point yesterday#I’m in hell#not pjo#chitter chatter
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mutuals be honest. how much respect for me have you lost now that i like genshin.
#i literally didn't. know. the fandom was so bad#i have a group of friends that i play with and that's abt fucking it#and now im like. damn. i am embarrassed to admit i like this thing#because people will think i'm being fucking weird on twitter#i don't even USE twitter#or tiktok. or anything other than tumblr and discord (for talking to said friends)#like the game itself (minus the. colorism. and orientalism. which they got a novella from me about.) is actually...well written so far?#they know how to write characters well too imho#it's one of those things i think consuming critically is perfectly fine#but then you look at the fandom. and.#holy fuck it's all like super racist people who have never touched grass ever#it's given me such whiplash learning about it#because like. in my friend group there are a few of us whose heritage lines up with some of the in-game nations#and we have cool discussion about what they get right and wrong#and we all brainstorm like body type headcanons and just have a fucking great time#i dunno why i felt the need to ramble it's just. i miss when i played just with my friends and didn't know about all of this#because now i'm ashamed to admit i even like it for fear of being grouped in with actual racist/sexist/every fucking -ist imaginable people#i'm literally just going crazy here but while the character designs in sumeru were Bad for the most part the actual region itself got-#-a LOT right. like little details#one of my friends was overjoyed recognizing things from their culture that don't often get the spotlight#so as awful as parts of it are there is genuine good in it#and i'm just shocked the fanbase as a whole is so. terrible#i guess i shouldn't be surprised it's anime gatcha game fans (fucking hate the gambling part btw)#and those people tend to be. You Know#but still. i dunno. it's weird that the game does actually seem to have a lot of heart at least in parts of it#and then the character designs and the fanbase are. Like That#anyway. i've rambled enough in the tags#i just wish both the character designers and the fanbase were better
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This year, my husband - a man with zero prior interest in visual arts or architecture beyond going "That's nice to look at" - has suddenly become enamoured with art deco. This is fun, because it means he gets delighted every time I point out a decorative pillar on a building, or a funky and vertically asymmetrical font. He also has decided that I, a person with an A Level in art, must know all about the art deco movement and be an expert in its design features, so I am having to regularly remind him that this is not the case and he probably knows more than me, given that two weeks ago I walked in on him reading the art deco Wikipedia article for fun and pleasure.
Anyway, this has led him to look up video games featuring art deco, so now we are playing BioShock. So far, we've made it to Arcadia, the forest that got privatised by libertarian maniac Andrew Ryan, and we just had to sit through Ryan ranting at us that he built a paradise while we just want to steal it from him; which is very interesting, given that Rapture is a crumbling ruin of a fallen civilisation filled with post-apocalyptic cannibalistic thugs trying to murder little girls and each other for corpse juice. Like, my dude, my guy, what exactly is anyone supposed to be taking from you. Do you think this is still working? Do you think this is successful? Corpse juice. Dude.
Anyway this is also the life of Elon Musk on Twitter
#'YOURE JUST JEALOUS OF MY NICE WEBSITE' my guy no one is enjoying the ruins of your website#corpse juice‚ elon#twitter
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we all agree that the push towards short form, vertical video (tiktok/reels/shorts) is ruining fucking everything right? Tiktok has been useful for the dissemination of political information (e.g Gaza) i’ll give it that, but that feels moreso a result of meta and twitters algorithms being just a little *more*’evil and censor happy. And i want to make it very clear that my hatred for tiktok has nothing to do with the fact that it was a product of a Chinese company, because i see a lot of critiques relying on some sort of sinophobic conspiracy. On the contrary, it’s what tiktok has become in the vacuum of western popular culture and marketing that makes me fearful.
I know that every generation faces a new, polarizing technology and inevitably, there are those among said generation who will critique it. That is the nature of things. However, there is also something to be said about how, with the acceleration of technology (running parallel to the acceleration of capitalism, acceleration towards collapse etc), each coming generation faces an increasingly more malevolent “advancement”. TLDR, i’m going to talk my shit.
I’m going to speak on the aspect that is most relavent to me, as a musician. I am petrified by what short form video is doing to music and to musicians. I think that tiktok provides the illusion of making music and being a musician more “accessible” while actually pouring gasoline on the fire that the pop music machine had already started. Standards for what popular culture “expects” from music are being doubled and tripled. Let’s talk about song length. Success and marketability favoring shorter songs is not something new, it has been the trend for decades. But with short form video, it goes even further. You’re not just hearing the same song over and over on the radio, you’re hearing the same 15-30 seconds of the same song over and over again. This in-turn, starts to influence the way people write music, persuading people to make songs that *could* have that 15 second appeal. There is an art to pop music, there is an art to writing a catchy hook—this is something else. We weren’t meant to hear or understand music like that. There are so many songs from reels that i found annoying, until i heard them in their full context. It’s insidious. It makes everything feel like a fucking commercial, even if nothing is being advertised.
I’m going to pull directly from someone else’s experiences, someone who’s music seems to be everywhere on short form videos. The ambient musician My Head Is Empty has a hundred million streams on the song “i was only temporary”. Despite that exposure, they experience “never ending copywrite issues” and have “received death threats” by people who refuse to credit them when using their song. Pulling a quote here, from a comment on their own post
“vyva_melinkolya unfortunately it just gets worse. i saw a bot content page that steals pod cast footage and spams dozens of videos with my song stolen, comment on a "motivation" spam content , who actually made a post telling people the name of my song, and the previous page i mentioned, the pod cast spam commented on that video saying "Bro stop don't give out the sauce. this audio helps me pull numbers brooo" - so people are actively INTENTIONALLY stealing it and telling people to not credit me. like. u can't make this stuff up”
Beyond this, My Head Is Empty feels frustrated that despite all this exposure, the rest of their work (nine albums) as a musician remains under appreciated, and i think that frustration is 100% valid. People cannot fully appreciate music, or even understand it as a work of art created by another human, when it’s taken so far out of its context. Again, the soul being sucked out of art by “the machine” isn’t anything new but, this is a whole other level. Being a musician is more expensive than ever, streaming earns you fractions of a cent etc, it all feeds into itself.
When a song or a musician i love deeply finds its way on to tiktok (let’s use Duster’s “Stars Will Fall”, one of my favorite songs ever as an example)I am not upset that i cant “gatekeep” it anymore. I’m not upset by the idea of something I love and hold dearly finding a larger audience. I AM upset in the manner in which it is being disseminated. I’m upset with art I hold dear to me being chopped up and used as “trending audio”. When I saw Duster in concert recently, lStars Will Fall” was the song I was most looking forward to hearing. It was the last song they played, and it was the song seemly everyone chose to talk loudly over. The audience was mostly people my age and younger. This complaint might come off as petty or pretentious or cliche, i frankly do not give a shit.
Let’s talk about how musicians are expected to promote music on tiktok/reels. This is a matter of opinion, at the risk of sounding very pretentious: the “POV we are x band from x” “My label says i need x followers before x” “posting this video until c musician notices me”. I understand that some of it is in jest but, what the fuck? When did this become the norm? I do not blame anyone for promoting their music like this, but we should want more for ourselves. I’ve always said being a musician is deeply embarassing, inherently. If being a musician is inherently embarassing then what is this? I dont have a solution for this, and the music industry has always been ugly and bloodthirsty and seldom fruitful— but i feel like the very small amount of dignity we had as artists is now lost and I cant fucking stand it. Artists seem to promote the same single with dozens of reels over the course of months, hoping that something sticks. I dont want to sound like i’m shaming or, again, sound like i can provide a solution. I’m just very fucking sorry that it seems like this is “the way”. And personally, i’m scared that if i dont “get with the program”, im going to fail.
Again, all of this speaks to larger trends in entertainment industry and even larger trends in capitalism. But i’m just airing specifics right now because frankly? I cant take it anymore.
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Boyfriend Jungkook
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Gn!reader
Genre: fluff, headcanons
Request: can i request a headcanon of what jungkook would be like in a relationship? thank you <3
Warnings: mentions of being hit by a car (jokingly), not proofread
A/n: I miss Jungkook 😭 | fundraiser
Jimin ver. | Taehyung ver. | Jungkook ver.
He 100% fell first
And besides falling in love first, he also took the initiative
Kinda like the seven mv scenario
He was determined to get you to like him
Bro is also the embodiment of all love languages mixed, but I think he's more of a physical touch and service acts
I see him being very clingy, even when you're around other people
But specially when it's night, right before you both go to sleep
And also right after waking up
You'll be wakening up to his hugs and kisses
And acts of service because have you seen this man? He's always doing everything to everyone
You get scary dog privileges lmao
No creep on the street ever stares at you once they see Jungkook following you like a shadow
Among the boys, I think he's the one who'd get jealous the most
Of course, nothing too bizarre nor extreme
It's just that he'll immediately cling on you once he doesn't like the vibe of the person who's trying small talk with you
And then he does that thing with his eyes where he's just like 👁️👁️
Introduces you to the boys and his family as soon as he can
And the boys knew everything about you before even meeting you for the first time because my bro jungkook could not shut up about you for a mere second😭
But at least that gave them a really good first impression of you
If you had a good sleeping schedule before... I'm so sorry
It's all about going to sleep at midnight and waking up at 3 am
But he's trying to get better at this 😭
It's actually kind of sweet because he feels like he can sleep better next to you
There was this one time where you were extremely tired and went to bed at 7 pm and he went as well?? And he actually slept all the way through??
Spams your phone with texts all the time
In all possible social medias
+99 notifications on Instagram, tiktok, twitter and whatever other social media you might have
Also texts you the most random things through his day
"I almost got hit by a car would you believe it? Btw, are you still free tonight? I was thinking about going out for dinner"
And if you think about this in a scenario where he's an idol
I think he'd be able to hide your relationship for a while, but soon enough people would find out about it
He's just SO proud of being with you
And the effects of your life on his are just so obvious
Even if people didn't find pictures of you two together or this sort of thing, they'd still think Jungkook was dating someone
And the fact hybe never denied it just adds to the whole thing
But if people ever find out about it and then those crazy "fans" start to attack you, Jungkook is ready to sue anyone tbh
Sings all the time as well
You have exclusive serenades sung to you every day, you're that lucky!!
And constantly tries to impress you
Like yeah, you're married for 20 years now and he's still playing football like his life depends on it just because you're watching
Overall he's just the sweetest and most devoted bf to ever exist
Masterlist | you'll probably like: husband Chan
Thank you for reading!
Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @butnotmontana
Credits for images 1 2 and 3
Dividers by @thecutestgrotto
#celi headcanons#bts scenario#bts scenarios#bts fanfic#bts jungkook#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts headcanons#bts soft thoughts#bts soft hours#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook headcanons#jungkook soft thoughts#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#jungkook reactions#bts reactions#bangtan sonyeondan#bangtan#jungkook#bts
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[Image ID (sorta, basically just the text from it):
GET KOSA TRENDING.
STOP SCROLLING NOW!
AS OF FEBRUARY 21ST, 2024, WE GOT FIVE DAYS UNTIL THE DAY OF DECISION OF THE KOSA BILL, WHICH WILL CAUSE MASS CENSORSHIP ROUND THE INTERNET IF PASSED. OR DOOMSDAY. WE NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS AND CONTRIBUTE. I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU ALL.
WE'RE DOWN TO THE WIRE BUT WE CAN'T GIVE UP YET. IF WE GIVE UP, EVERYTHING IS OVER. IF WE DON'T, AT LEAST WE HAVE A CHANCE.
I'M THE ONE WHO SOUNDED THE ALARM, AND I'M NOT GOING TO CURL UP AND DIE YET.
Reblog this post in every LEGAL way you can under the Tumblr guidelines with the appropriate tags. TELL AND TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW, then add the tags to see below... and more if you can think of any complying.
Visit badinternetbills.com if you want to find a way to defeat KOSA. It WILL NOT take much of your time. Reblog with any other information or sources, too-- but make sure to reblog if you can.
Reblog if you support lgbtq+ content.
Reblog if you support questioning queer youth and/or abused youth getting the information they need.
Reblog if you support Ao3 and/or other sites that wholeheartedly preserve talentedly made media.
Reblog if you're going to repost this on other sites than Tumblr and spread the word across Twitter, Tik Tok, Pinterest, or elsewhere, alongside the link to badinternetbills.com.
END image ID]
Hey, everyone. So yeah, this is happening. We're still fighting this battle. And we can't give up now. We can't. We can't stand idly by while one of the most important resources that helped us all wake up, or at least start to question things, is being threatened by the government.
We can't stand idly by when kids, teens, and adults just like us still trapped inside might lose access to the resource that could help them wake up. We can't stand idly by when they might lose access to their non JW friends and family. We CAN'T stand idly by when we can do something to stop this bill from passing.
I am sick and tired of this same old song, where conservative fuckers higher up think they can oppress everyone. I am FUCKING SICK of it.
Please, reblog both this post and the original post linked above what I've written, and do what you can to stop KOSA, please. We are running out of time.
I suggest that if it is within your power to do so, that you do more than simply reblog and assume someone else will do something. DON'T assume that. Please do more than just reblogging if you are able to, because that's not really enough at this point.
Call/email representatives in the House and tell them to oppose KOSA (you may want to list different reasons depending on who you're calling, some House representatives are anti-LGBTQ+, so it may be best to tell them to oppose because it violates people's privacy, safety, and anonymity online). Print posters and put them up where legal if you can.
Sharing all this information to other social media sites (Instagram, Reddit, TikTok, the bird app) to reach more people can really help too. The wider the reach, the better.
Thank you. Now let's fucking rip that bill apart like we rip apart Watchtower magazines and eat it for fucking breakfast. (In a "we're eating it and the politicians who are sponsoring it are looking on in horror" kind of way)
#kids online safety act#internet censorship#stop kosa#exjw#ex jw#ex jehovah's witness#ex jehovah's witnesses#not necessarily ex jw related tags but still relevant bc this bill also affects these communities:#queer#lgbtqia#lgbt#lgbtqplus#lgbtq community#ex catholic#ex mormon#ex christian#ex evangelical#ex cult
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Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it
So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.
I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭
Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit
*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.
“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?
Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him.
“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you.
Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking.
You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.
“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches.
“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.
“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you.
“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”
“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.
“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.
“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”
“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”
Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.
“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.
“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”
“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.
He’s most definitely in love with you.
“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji fushiguro#jujutsu toji#toji zenin#dilf toji#fushiguro toji#toji fushiguro x you#daddy toji#toji imagine#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x y/n#jjk toji#toji fluff#toji x reader#toji x you#toji jjk#fushiguro
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I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.
A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.
However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.
I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."
I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.
I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.
While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.
I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.
Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.
AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.
What are these acronyms?
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healing a heart i didn't break. LH44. MV1. SMAU. part one.
cheater! lewis hamilton x reader. max verstappen x reader.
when your boyfriend of three years fumbles, his rival is there to put the pieces of your heart back together bit by bit.
warnings: 14 year age gap with lewis. cursing. cheating. mentions of the anniversary of a family member's death.
author's note: in this reader is 25 years old. lewis is a jerk but just for the plot. this first chapter is just the cheating. max will show up in the next chapters.
part two
faceclaim: camilla morrone
y/ninsta
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lewishamilton, y/bffinsta and 678,901 others
tagged lewishamilton and y/bffinsta
y/ninsta: the best summer break with my favourite people
view all 19,028 comments
alexandrasaintmleux: looking forward to seeing you all in the netherlands
y/ninsta: i can't wait to see you alex !
lewishamilton: i think this was the best summer break out of them all
y/ninsta: we keep bettering ourselves every single year
y/bffinsta: thank you for letting me tag along
y/ninsta: wdym he was obviously third wheeling us
user 12: i love the friendship between lewis, y/n and y/bff it is so wholesome
lewishamilton posted a story tagging y/ninsta
written: last beach day with y/n before back to work
y/ninsta posted a story
written: back at it
y/ninsta
liked by lewishamilton, carmenmundt, y/bffinsta and 560,982 others
written: forever the proudest girlfriend. last slide is me and y/bff hardly working while my boyfriend secures p2.
tagged lewishamilton and y/bffinsta
view all 12,348 comments
lewishamilton: the luckiest of lucky charms
y/ninsta: that was all skill baby
y/bffinsta: we do our best
y/ninsta: that we do
carmenmundt: gonna miss you in the merc garage next week honey
user19: i'm new to the y/n fandom. how come she won't be there next week.
y/nfan: her father died on the 31st of august five years ago. she has a family tradition to go home and let go of balloons, so she is never at the race that week.
y/bffinsta posted a story
y/ninsta replied to your story: i didn't know you were going
y/bffinsta: yeah lew had a paddock ticket reserved and as you are busy he gave to me
y/ninsta: oh. have a good time, wish him good luck from me
y/ninsta
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmundt, max verstappen and 320,982 others
y/ninsta: oh dad, i have a love hate relationship with day. i love it because i get to sit down with everyone and talk about my favourite memories of you. but i hate it because it reminds me that you are really gone. i hope you are proud of me and the woman that i have become. i know you are looking down on us.
view all 6,902 comments
carmenmundt: thinking of you darling
y/ninsta: thank you carmen
mercedesamgf1: we love you y/n
y/ninsta: i love you admin
alexandrasaintmleux: forever in my thoughts
user32: guys wtf is going on. every year y/n posts a similar thing and lewis and y/bff are always the first people to like and comment on it. this has been up all day and all the other wags have liked it and even max fucking verstappen has but not a peep from y/bff or lewis. something is going on.
user12: shit open twitter
f1updates
liked by user23, f1fan12, user22 and 120,987 others
f1updates: the internet is in shambles after pictures of lewis hamilton and y/bff were posted by papparazzi. y/bff is best friends with lewis' long term girlfriend y/n. y/n was not in italy this weekend as she was at home honoring her late father. admin doesn't tend to like to take sides but this is awful behaviour from lewis and y/bff and we hope that y/n is okay.
view all 22,398 comments
user23: this is awful. y/n is grieving her father and her two favourite people betray her.
f1fan12: lewis hamilton i am in your walls
user22: there is no innocent explanation to this. this is cheating.
y/ninsta posted a close friends story
written: and they both blocked me with no explanation. like i'm in the wrong
alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story: where are you
y/ninsta: my childhood home
alexandrasaintmleux: i'm coming
#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 smau#f1 fandom#f1 fic#lh44#lh44 x reader#lewis hamilton smau#lewis hamilton#sir lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#max verstappen smau#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic
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★ — it was all yellow | carlos sainz
Description: After finding Carlos in bed with an internet starlet, you decided to break up with him. 5 years later, you meet him again.
Pairing: actress/singer!reader/carlos sainz
Trope: Secret Baby Trope
Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.
A/N: I got so many requests for this typa trope and I only got the idea now. Super sorry for the 6 month delay WAHHAHA.
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yn.ln: the vibe that we bring to the function. btw 💚 HOTDS2 is out!
liked by danielricciardo and 71,923 others
>comments
danielricciardo: Helaena Targaryen >>> - edited: Helaena Targaryen <<<
echibano82: MAN!! 😭
ynforever: the rise and fall of a midwest princess is my fav album of urs
formula.unoworld: sainz fumbled a baddie
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because.official: Carlos and Pinon 😘❤️ #MyHeart
liked by carlossainz55 and 6,293 others
>comments
foreveryoung78: Wake up Carlos the fatherhood allegations are strong today
solonglondon: U ever heard of a boy named Pablo Sainz? 😳
bestfriendsfw: miss Because...go and tell ur mans - landofanbase: HER NAME ALWAYS TAKES ME OUT 😭 WHY IS HER STAGE NAME "BECAUSE"
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WHO IS CARLOS SAINZ'S NEW GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE...
Brezziana Aziza, whose stage name is Because has gained fame because of her relationship with Formula One Driver Carlos Sainz Jr. Previously known on social media as an influencer who vlogs about her daily life, netizens began to call her "Because" well because of her excessive use of that word.
Although she has stopped using that word since, the name has stuck. She is currently under fire for visiting a Shein Factory in China. For more details please click this link: Shein sent American influencers to China.
>comments
becauseunitedfanbase: she's so funny n quirky i get it why carlos loves her
breatheinlouder: if pablo does belong to sainz, brezziana broke a family up - corduroy8chan: the family broke because sainz allowed it to be broken, she's homewrecker because...? - becauseunitedfanbase: more like home renovator
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Just an Inchident (Charles L., Max V., Lando N., Carlos S.)
Carlos Sainz holy shit guys did you see twitter
Charles Leclerc Yeah man Is it real?
Lando Norris i did some research and this kid's 6-4 yrs old there's a chance mates
Carlos Sainz how am i even supposed to ask her? it was so awkward when it ended i totally regret doing that to her but im so happy with because now
Charles Leclerc There's a fat chance that the kid is yours man
Lando Norris ask her like a civilized man dude i saw a reel where someone asked her if pablos yours
Max Verstappen Who uses reels mate? 🤣 2 reacted 🤣
Lando Norris well she avoided the question silence means yes if you aren't the father she'd answer it
Carlos Sainz maybe she wants to torture me
Charles Leclerc She's a good person man I don't think that she'll do that Plus she's above using her son for leverage
Carlos Sainz and how do you know that Charles? we haven't spoken to her in years
Max Verstappen She grabs coffee with Victoria on Tuesdays I've actually known about Pablo for a while now
Carlos Sainz 👍🏻 2 reacted 🤣
Max Verstappen 👍🏻 .
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yn.ln: i want a velaryon burial #HOTDS2
liked by 93,192 others
>comments
danielricciardo: the camera quality sucks just letting you know - yn.ln: thanks! i have eyes btw
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yn.ln: A lot of you wanted to comment and ask questions about my son, and I never really posted about him because I'm not like those parents who use their kids on social media for likes and clout.
Five years ago, I gave birth to my first baby, Pablo L/N (09/12/18) and every day has been filled with laughter and warmth 🦋 he was not a secret, but I tried to keep his life private. Now, a lot of people feel like they have the right to know everything about him. What he looks like. Who his father is. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter.
You don't have the right to his face. You don't have the right to know about his family life because it doesn't concern you and it never will.
Thank you so much to my friends!! @danielricciardo @rileykeough #DakotaJohnson and #ChrisMartin
liked by 1,239,901 others
>comments
danielricciardo: ❤️
rileykeough: 🥺 i love you and p
victoriaverstappen: We love you! - yn.ln: thank you vic, playdate with luka and lio soon? - victoriaverstappen: Absolutely!
comments have been restricted.
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email to [email protected] (Y/N L/N publicist) from [email protected]
Good morning Dessie.
This is Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist, Daniel Kirkman, in light of the rumors between my client and Miss Y/N L/N we humbly request the truth about Pablo L/N's paternity in order to legally and publicly clear things up. Speaking as your old friend, these past few months have been stressful both physically and mentally. Even if there's a sliver of hope that the kid is Carlos' please update me.
Warm regards, Daniel Kirkman.
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email to [email protected] (Y/N L/N publicist) from [email protected] (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)
Good afternoon Mr. Kirkman.
I can see that the years have hardly changed you, you still have horrible email etiquette. Because we are old friends, I spoke to Y/N. Truth is, the things that I'm going to share today will ruin your client's reputation if our emails are ever leaked. Remember the fallout of 2018? We both celebrated New Years in Y/N's Santa Monica House.
Actually, New Years was the day we found out that she was pregnant. Not a doubt in our hearts that the baby was Carlos'. We were about to tell him but the moment we landed in Ibiza, she saw Carlos in bed with Brezziana. (I refuse to call her Because!! BECAUSE it is confusing and preposterous.)
I think that hiding Pablo from his father wasn't right, but I don't blame her for doing it. As for the paternity test, Y/N agreed but the team will come back to you with the legalities and such. As a 'friend' I want to tell you that the best Carlos is ever going to have is him paying child support and seeing the child once or twice a month.
Y/N has a lot of lawyers, more than we do friends. And judging by Carlos' personality, I don't think that he'll fight for his son.
Warm Regards, Destiny Bumgarner
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email to [email protected] (Y/N L/N publicist) from [email protected]
Good evening Destiny! What makes you think that Y/N's going to win the legalities? + I never expected you to reveal all of this via chat. You sure that I won't betray you?
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email to [email protected] (Y/N L/N publicist) from [email protected] (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)
I got dealt with the winning hand now Dan.
I know you're smart enough not to doubt me. :)
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email to [email protected] (Y/N L/N publicist) from [email protected]
All is fair in connections and clientele?
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email to [email protected] (Y/N L/N publicist) from [email protected] (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)
All is fair in life, Dan.
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oliviacooke: sorry for drinking your juice hun. 📸 pablo l/n
liked by 283,192 others
>comments
yn.ln: haha thanks for carrying his bags liv
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There are only two things. Truth and lies.
Truth is indivisible, hence it cannot recognize itself; anyone who wants to recognize it has to be a lie.
The past that you've tried to bury has slowly began to reveal itself. Maybe it was your fault, you aren't sure...
Carlos Sainz was a horrible man. He cheated on you. He didn't apologize. He admitted that another woman made him happier. Was there something special about her? A simple internet starlet with no proper claim to fame made him feel more alive.
"You've got to face him anyways." Dakota placed a glass of wine on the coffee table. "Pablo isn't his. He doesn't even look like him." you shook your head, unable to accept the inevitable truth.
"I've read all the posts on Twitter, they don't think that I have the right to push my son away from his father. Carlos is immature, I don't think that he's even capable of being a father." you scoff, taking a sip.
Haven't you given your son everything that he needed? An iPad, a big house, private education, and vacations in all the nice places.
"Two wrongs don't make a right." Destiny breathed.
"- from what Kirkman says, Carlos has changed. I don't encourage you to be romantic partners or even best friends, but please be civil for Pablo. Please let him have a civil relationship with his father." she added. "I hate it when you're right." you looked away.
You've seen his posts. You've seen his interviews.
There wasn't a bone in his body that screamed mischievousness anymore. He looked tame. Happier.
He achieved all of that without you, and maybe you could be that too.
You can be everything without him too.
"So you'll talk to him?" Dakota asked.
"I'll give it a try." I relented.
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Look at the stars.
Look how they shine for you.
The music played in the background as you sashayed your way into the VIP section of your friend's restaurant. Destiny was an angel enough to close shop and ensure that your privacy was protected especially in these vulnerable moments.
A sigh escapes your mouth, hearing that song in the background. As much as you adored Chris Martin, this song was getting in your feels.
You take a sharp turn, halting once you see his figure.
The very same man that shattered your world in Ibiza. The very same man that looked you in the eyes while he admitted that someone else made him much much happier than you, his fiancee.
And it was called Yellow.
"Thank you so much for being here, Y/N." your name sounded soft on his lips. Behind his brown eyes, there was sorrow - not to be confused with regret because he looked better than he ever was. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" you chuckled.
While nothing about you has changed.
Carlos has changed drastically.
"Destiny told me about the emails. Your team wanted a paternity test, right? You don't need it, Pablo is yours." you decided to be straightforward, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth.
You could feel that bitterness on your throat, like tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes, like you just swallowed a pill and forgot to drank water afterwards.
"Uhh - I found out on New Years day, and I wanted to tell you in Ibiza." you didn't bother to continue the story. He knows what you mean.
For you I'd bleed myself dry.
"I'm sorry, really sorry for not being a man. I know that we were about to get married, and I got scared. I was 24 years old, everyone was telling me that I had another life ahead of me. I was young. I wanted to ruin my life. I-I shouldn't have brought you with me." he apologized, trying to find the words that could articulate his feelings.
This was all that you needed from him.
An apology.
"When Destiny found out, she grabbed me by the ear. Told me that I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve you. I believe her, and I want to do everything to make it up to you and Pablo." he promised, but there were still words unsaid - the turn of his brows telling you that he wasn't willing to return back to normal.
That he still loves Because more than he's ever loved you.
"Do you love her?" you smiled bitterly. Your smile.
Look how they shine for you.
"I betrayed both of you that night. She didn't know that we were dating. She didn't know who I was. I apologized to her and she forgave me, but I realized a few years after that I should've apologized to you too." he admitted. "- I love her, really."
You knew that he wasn't lying.
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destinybumgarner: this is the PINK PONY CLUB
liked by 712 others
>comments
yn.ln: WAHAHAH IM JUST HAVING FUN
danielkirkman: crowns c / o pablo the prince
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part two
A/N What driver or actor should we pair reader with? 😭 comment to get tagged
#f1#formula 1#f1 fandom#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#f1 scenario#f1 fanfic#f1 angst#f1 smut#f1 fanfiction#f1 fiction#f1 fics#f1 fic#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz 55#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz jr x reader#carlos sainz jr x you#carlos sainz jr imagine#carlos sainz jr fanfic#carlos sainz jr smut#carlos sainz jr fluff#cs55#cs55 x reader
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LUNCH
Billie eilish x driver!reader
Face claim Pinterest girls
Summary Billie Eilish has a girlfriend, and the whole world knows.
Warning spelling mistake, not proofread
A/N not the biggest fan but I like it. Thanks for the request, and sorry that it took so long to post, but life has been a bit busy atm.
Twitter
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Instagram
Liked by gracieabrams and 9.068.336 others
billieeilish READY?
View all 19.975 comments
Yourusername 💙
User1 OH??
User2 Obsessed
User3 I’m actually freaking out
User4 AAAAHHH CANT WAIT
User5 LOVE U BILLIE💙
User6 AAAAHHH
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Instagram
Liked by yourusername and 3.654.766 others
billieeilish HIT ME HARD AND SOFT TRACKLIST :PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
View all 21.953 comments
Yourusername AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
billieelish AAAAHHHHH!!! (Louder)
User7 Is blue true blue?
User8 French??
User9 LUNCH??
User10 I really wanna know what these are about
User11 prolly a few about Y/n
User12 claiming lunch
User13 SO EXITED!
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Instagram
Liked by billieelish and 3.644.642 others
Yourusername Feelin aesthetic
Tagged: billieeilish
View all 11.154 comments
billieelish cutie
Yourusername cutieer
finneas Stop being sappy on main
Yourusername never
User1 Aaawwww
User2 she’s so hot
User3 they’re*
User4 So happy to be an f1 and billie girlie
User5 we got fed
User6 Refrence to HMHAS??
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Instagram
Liked by Laufey and 5.725.736 others
billieelish hello my album comes out next week and I’m so exited I can’t believe it
View all 13.754 comments
Yourusername Hot hot hot
YouTube literally so exited
User7 SO EXITED!!
User8 I love yooouu!
User9 no because why is she so cute liked by yourusername
User8 ONG SHE LIKED!!!
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Instagram
Liked by conangray and 5.735.725 others
billieelish that’s when you found me
View all 17.625 comments
Yourusername why we playin hide n seek?
User10 why can’t she just be a supportive girlfriend for once? Every post about billie is also about f1 and every comments is ether objectefying her of mocking her
User11 i wouldn’t say anything, you don’t know about their relationship so you don’t have the right to comments in it.
User12 hot.
User13 stop killing me in fortnight please
Yourusername sry that was me…
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Instagram
Liked by gracieabrams and 4.835.246 others
billieeilish NEW YORK AM I PLAYING YOU MY ALBUM TOMORROW ??!!???!!!???!!!?
View all 14.762 comments
Yourusername SO PROUD!!!
User1 AAAHHHH!!!
User2 IM GOING TO BE THERE!!
User3 I love you and Y/n
User4 What is lunch about????
User5 I am so in love with her, there is no way I can put it in word
Yourusername same
User6 WHAT?!
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Instagram
Liked by billieelish and 3.263.122 others
Yourusername my lovely girlfriend just released a brand new album!! Go stream ‘HIT ME HARD AND SOFT’ !!!
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billieelish THANK TOU LOVEE! Liked by author
User7 THEY ARE SO CUTE!!
User8 looking at this cute post while I know that lunch is probably about her is so weird
User9 FOR REAL!!
User10 this looks so much like a PR relationship tho…
User11 bro bffr
User12 CUTIES!!
User13 Mothers!
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Instagram
Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 5.725.256 others
billieelish ITS A CRAVING NOT A CRUSHHHHH 🍒🍒🍒
View all 18.725 comments
Yourusername LUNCH!!!!
OliviaRodrigo AMAZING!!
User1 WE SUPPORT YOU BILLIE 💙💙💙💙💙💙🫂🫂🫂✨✨✨✨✨✨🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
User2 hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot ho-
User3 wifey
User4 💙💙💙💙💙
User5 I LOVE YOU
User6 MUSIC VIDEOOOO
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Instagram
Liked by charli_xcx and 6.725.156 others
billieelish LOVE YOU CHARLIIIIIIII. BIG WEEK
View all 10.025 comments
charli_xcx Construction era incoming!!
Yourusername hot hot hot
User7 of course she had a real 🚜 like why not?
User8 MOMMYYY
User9 where did you get all the underwear?
User10 from her shows and Y/n
User11 wowowowoowowowow
User12 Charli likes boys but she knows I’d hit it🗣️🗣️🗣️
User13 🔥🔥🔥
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Instagram
Liked by billieelish and 5.725.836 others
Yourusername My amazing girlfriend just released an album and did a remix with Charlie xcx!!!! Dear billie, I am SO proud of you! And I feel honoured that I get to call you my girlfriend (and that you wrote me songs)
View all 11.642 comments
billieelish I LOVE YOUUU!!!
Yourusername 💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️
User1 AAAWWWW
MaxVerstappen1 Whipped
Yourusername shut up
User2 IM IN LOVE WITH THEM!!
User3 I can’t believe that they do so cutesy on insta but then you hear the songs about her and they are so DIRTY
User4 I’m in love with their love
User5 IM SCREAMINGG
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Instagram
5.625 likes
F1_Gossip Billie eilish seen in the paddock!!
View all 60 comments
User6 OMG!!
User7 she looks so happy!!
User8 Supportive gf!!
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Instagram
Liked by yourusername and 5.825.124 others
billieelish MY GIRLFRIED JUST WON HER FIRST F1 RACE!! I am so proud of you!! Aso it was really great meeting everyone in the paddock!
View all 12.625 comments
Yourusername ILY THX MWUAH!
Landonorris it was gray meeting you too!
Maxverstappen1 always a pleasure to see you
Oscarpiastri congrats Y/n!
User9 SHE RUINED HER AESTHETIC FIR HER!! THEY ARE IN LOVE LOVE!!!
User10 now we have 2 supportive girlfriends!
User11 I loved seeing her on my tv!
User12 same! And I loved seeing her talking with the other drivers!
User13 THEY ARE BOTH SO HOTT!!
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#sterredm fics❤️#sterredm fics#Spotify#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#x reader#formula 1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x formula 1#formula 1 x driver!reader#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 smau#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#lunch#hmhas#hmhas billie eilish
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KINKVEMBER DAY: 6
[prompt: blowjob]
male reader x hyeju
12k words
“I mean, don’t you think,” Hyeju says, wagging a finger at you, “that when you suffer through a bad date, the world ought to owe you something?”
"Like what?" you ask.
"Better taste in women - maybe more orgasms; I dunno, a blowjob?" She shrugs. "The general idea is just that someone gets to cum."
You nearly choke on the air in front of you. "Jesus, Hyeju, warn a guy."
“What? I’m trying to commiserate with you,” Hyeju laughs. “Wouldn’t that be funny? Being able to kiss someone who actually, you know, might love you back, and at the same time. Imagine not hooking-up just to forget a shitty day. Sounds wild, right?"
"Utterly deranged."
"So wild."
-
The first time you hook up with your roommate, it’s because of genetics - though not in the weird, uncontrollable way your body gets rigid and sensitive to any pretty girl who wears nothing but a towel moving between her bedroom and the bathroom, or how her eyes might flick fast from your chest up to yours - or given that the absolute shape of her is a blessing from one god or another (benevolent, clearly). That's not why Hyeju and you find yourselves only a few months later grinding on each other after the clock ticked past midnight, making out on New Year's Eve.
No, it has to do with the fact that Hyeju's nearly failing the nine AM section of molecular genetics because she's spent every lecture doodling stars and planets and planets shaped like asscheeks and planet-ass constellations while everyone else writes notes or doom scrolls twitter or whatever and she is somehow simultaneously the only student who never slept with her face on the lab desk or missed an assigned reading and the only one who absolutely needs a tutor.
It's just cosmic odds that you'd be that one: her roommate, who shouldn't be talking so loudly in the library about sex (in a sort of non-sexy, Mendelian kind of way) or be thinking the kind of things you've started thinking when Hyeju wears one of her more sleepshirt-esque long sleeves, her voice getting lower as you rattle off, "fruit flies and thale cress, definitely, it's just an error of fate or chromosome splitting..." before trailing off into a question.
"This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me," she finally tells you. You listen to her sigh into the binding of her textbook, facedown. "I'm really going to bomb this exam."
You tap her hand twice with your highlighter across the desk. "Then you're pretty damn lucky, if you think about it."
She turns to you, smiles a bit. "Okay, point. The worst thing will be having to retake this stupid fucking class."
"Why didn't you ask for help or go to office hours if you knew you were... failing?"
"Maybe because doing anything more than the bare minimum to get through a class I don't care about is my definition of, failing," she mumbles. "Why didn't anyone tell me a single lab is worth half my grade? Or that the TA is this fucking unreliable? How is this the one thing, really, beyond the basics, that can't be taught by wikipedia, a wikihow article and a youtube video?"
You scoot your seat closer to her. "You really need to relax."
"Fucking tell me about it."
You turn it over in your mind a few times, capping the top of your highlighter.
"Want me to get you off?"
And it’s not like you really mean it, when you say it, which is the strangest thing: you wouldn't actually suggest it, normally, wouldn't mention it in passing and then leave yourself open to the follow up and cross examination; yet there it is, after three, four hours of cramming notes on heterochronicity and the sloshing of gametes - you actually did propose it.
Hyeju jerks up, surprised.
"Are you serious?" She looks around, nearly snorting. "In the library?"
The face you’re giving her makes her scoff.
“You’re absolutely nuts.”
You have character flaws; the inability to admit wrongdoing chief among them. Hell, maybe it's from your mother - or maybe all your brains are just scrambled by the fact that Hyeju's sitting there with her pen against her pretty lips, hair glossier than usual as she scans your face and makes your entire body feel like a reactor core in meltdown.
Maybe you can blame what comes next on that.
"I'm always serious. I'm asking a serious question," you whisper, closing the textbook and resting your elbows on top. You look around quickly, like you're sneaking something in instead of this perfectly reasonable exchange, the perfectly platonic - except maybe not so much - way for friends to help each other.
"And I'm wondering what you're asking." Her cheeks are definitely pinker, you think, or the way it fills out her face, from the bottom up, is just that easy to imagine.
“I’m saying you haven’t gotten laid in months.” Here, you realize, these blocks of mental logic that definitely weren’t there when you blurted it out start to coalesce into something solid as you go on.
And you hadn't been wrong when you thought no one had given Hyeju a helping hand in a long, long time: you've heard through the walls or the floorboards at odd hours of the morning that she spends far too long fingering herself to a mind-numbing, tear-worthy frustration that leaves her knuckle-deep but never, ever sated or satisfied.
"No one's around, you'll feel better. You said it yourself."
Not a work of your imagination here - her ears are fucking burning.
"Wait a minute." She pushes her chair back, away from you and your gleaming offer. It clatters on its back legs, and a librarian waves her finger in warning. You wave back, sheepishly, until she stops and Hyeju stands and moves away from the table to talk, hands crossed over her front.
She turns and asks in a hushed-down-voice, "how did you know - did you hear something last night?"
"You couldn't keep it down even if you wanted to, honestly."
Hyeju turns further and throws a glare at the library doors, because obviously her noisiness and their collective noisemanship, or whatever the hell the word is, is clearly the root of the whole goddamn problem.
"Look - if not, no big deal - but I'm just saying you'll probably get over it and at least think less about sex. Or at least the wrong kind of sex."
You expect her to turn, sigh, and ask if you've lost your mind. Expect her to gather her jacket from the back of her chair, take her books and stomp out the room. Or even burst out laughing at the insanity, before slapping your arm lightly, in playful retaliation - anything other than the serious look she gives you in return, tilting her head, pressing her lips.
She turns up at the ceiling for a moment, contemplating something. And it's cute. It's so very, very cute, how her mouth pouts as she considers the possibility, right up until she says, "okay, fine."
The moderate twist of surprise taking hold in your brow must be visible.
"Oh, don't tell me that was all talk. Get me thinking about the right kind of sex or whatever."
You laugh, which has the librarian staring at both of you - until the librarian stops staring and probably sees Hyeju sliding back into her chair, the full, pent-up weight of her concentration pointed your way, knees inching apart - you, and Hyeju waiting, your knee bumping into her inner thigh, leaning closer as the textbook hits the floor.
"Don't laugh."
"Not laughing, seriously. Not laughing," you stammer. “I just think you’re just full of surprises.”
She spreads her knees further and sits taller, looking right at you.
"So then, surprise me," and then presses her cheek to the crook of your elbow.
You slide your chair right into the space next to hers, nuzzling up into the space under her ear. “Keep studying, Hyeju, you’ve got shit to do.” And then you slide your hand beneath the waist of her sweats, knead the swell of her thigh until you find the seam where her leg meets her body, press your palm down on the place just next to her center, your thumb in the middle. All this perfect pressure.
"Fuck," Hyeju says under a shudder. She's breathing heavier when your hot, open-mouthed kisses start landing at her neck, and she probably tries to read her textbook for about forty-five seconds longer. But there's the clench of her jaw right as your middle finger begins tracing circles beneath the fabric of her panties, and her gaze is blurring until she can't tell the difference between an allele or your fucking name.
"Shh-shh," you quiet her, finger tapping harder, playing with the slick wetness beneath all those layers of thick cotton and pressing two fingers there until her knees part like they’re not interested in resisting at all. Your lips press a kiss to the shell of her ear and she tenses all at once, hand shooting up to cover her mouth.
She simply leans back, closes her eyes, and lets you take care of her.
“Okay, you’re right,” she says, shaky and uneven, “that really did take some of the edge off. Did we ever review - poly- uh, pol-polymers here?"
The sweatshirt sleeve falling off your shoulder is a hindrance to any actual reading; her shifting against the chair isn't helping either, but you manage to push down the thoughts of stripping her down completely and giving her your tongue as yet another distraction.
"What did the syllabus say? I don't know if we need to read too far on 'polymers'," you say, having going through an entire afternoon without considering this once, but as you curl your fingers and take an honest crack at cramming the remaining chapters into her head, the knowledge that no one else is getting her this wet - except for whoever she's got in her mind's eye at three AM - is enough to get you feeling a little dizzy.
-
It’s probably supposed to be weird, given that you’ve never gotten any of your other friends off spontaneously in the library, or there's the fact that you can't really avoid each other afterwards, how she shows up in a silk negligee when you're pouring coffee before sunrise to prep for another day and you have the opportunity to notice - yes, she has amazing taste in underwear, yes, you might not have really appreciated her chest and figure enough before - yes, fuck it. She catches you noticing that first time, after coming downstairs with nothing but one of her cropped t-shirts and her board shorts, and she smirks when she realizes you're still thinking about it that afternoon, when her foot grazes yours while you're both washing dishes, and she dries the plate in her hand with a slow swipe.
And it is weird, actually, to describe what’s going on between you in words.
A few words, anyway, like a one-word label to describe what it was: friends or roommates-with-benefits, or - fuck buddies - god, it's even worse. Fuck buddies? Fuck friends? Something equally terrible and stupid that still makes sense, like something out of a shitty rom-com: it doesn't capture any of the rest of the myriad ways in which things can feel less or less friendly between two people.
So, friends was never, ever going to cut it. Roommates - although technically correct - is just this side of too clinical. And let's be clear: strangers don't wake up every morning together, walk to the same class, sit close together in the middle seats, secretly flick a strangers' skirt up in an empty lecture hall and get on their knees and work your mouth onto her pussy and watch the legs of the desks shake when her feet arch into the floor.
"The notes you've got are better than mine," is how Hyeju tries to put things, the next day and every time after that, standing in the doorframe, or at the foot of your bed and looking every bit the disheveled and hopeless mess you imagine she might spread out over the sheets of her own.
-
It gets complicated, which isn't really a surprise.
"You think your roommate is going to be home tonight?" is the question that comes up multiple times - from a revolving door of pretty names and faces. Hyeju has at least one opinion, if not more, on each of them.
"Tell Jinsoul I say hi," she says once, watching you get ready for a date, and you nearly bang your knee on the edge of the bathroom vanity.
It's one of the more harmless comments she's offered.
Another, backhanded: "if you’re just looking for a blowjob everyday between lunch and our physics lab, let Hyunjin or Heejin or whatever-her-name-is know she's easily my favorite," Hyeju says on your way out one morning, still under her covers.
Or,
Hyeju's texted a simple "uh, Chuu? really??" when you mention, once, how much fun you've been having - and what kind, as you make a round of self-conscious and rambling phone calls the next day that land you with only one prospect for the night - but your roommate's also no longer being your roommate by the end of it, bouncing against your thighs in the bathtub and moaning something about please more and fuck or fucking make me cum; the details escape you a bit.
That's what friends are for, probably.
Still, in the same, bare-bones explanation, friends also aren't for falling asleep on you - or letting you hold her - or fucking you awake in the middle of the night. Friends aren't for pushing down your jeans when the early-morning dew settles on the back patio, or jerking you off in the seat beside yours with a sweatshirt over your lap when a group project is due later and you all should probably work on that and instead get yourselves off and leave the mess of what you're doing half-finished. Friends aren't, probably, for offering to watch you rub your palm up and down your cock the night before next semester's exams when you can barely sit in a single chair and you can't think about molecular biology or neurochemical transcriptions when your whole body aches to do the transcribing. (If you can catch that drift.)
The lists of who are and are not good enough for you goes on and on - the latter longer than the former.
So, there's Choerry, who according to Hyeju is 'straight up, a total slut'. Yeojin, who gets mistaken for your little sister enough times that Hyeju refuses to - in good faith - let you keep sleeping with her. Both Heejin and Gowon are apparently too pretty for you. "Kim-lip?" she asks, in the middle of peeling garlic, "is that one name or two?" And laughs into a bottle of beer, loud, while you're telling her to quit being nosey and watch her fingers with the damn knife.
"You have a problem."
"Why, because I asked a few simple questions? I think anyone would be a little curious with the -" she pauses to wave her fingers - "I'd be remiss to not be interested in the very drama that unfolds literally across the hall."
She waggles her eyebrows.
You look up at the ceiling. God save you, you think. "Hyeju."
("Seriously," Hyeju chimes in one evening, arms around you, and a mouthful of the dinner you'd cooked.
"You need better taste in girls. Don't waste time on anyone too dumb, or who drinks the milk straight from the carton, or doesn't wash her socks with the same load of laundry. Oh, and - no one who chews loudly. No one who can't tell you're going to cum. The worst is someone who doesn't know what you like, trust me on that. And remember the last rule: don't do anything with someone who eats at a really slow pace, it's incredibly depressing."
You rest your chin on her shoulder from the spot behind her. "Duly noted, oh Master of all Knowledge."
She sighs into your arm, but in the next moment, her voice gets a lot softer, her hips fidgeting slightly against you. "I just mean you're the kind of person people would want to sleep with again," she says, before turning to say your name and kiss you again and again as your bodies curl inward.
"I wonder what that means, Hyeju," you say.
"Fuck," Hyeju groans as you slide further into her, pushing her back into the sofa - hands on her shoulders, legs bent on her either side, "don't tease me like this.")
-
The first snowfall of the year is mild, a tiny dusting, nothing that sticks on the pavement in the alley or on the sidewalks - or the lintels - or in Hyeju's hair, but by evening, when the snow picks up and everything goes quiet, Hyeju has changed into flannels and wool socks in anticipation, curled up like a cat at one edge of the window ledge as the world begins to go white. It's enough that you even pull on a thicker sweatshirt, open up a book, and join her.
She turns toward you, quiet.
You've reached a point in the semester where this, the silence, doesn't unsettle you anymore. It's the space you fill up with time in-between, where you can see the contours of her body against the orange lamplight of the space heater, or watch her kick off the top half of the duvet at night as you fight over space in her bed and wonder about the bare skin peeking out from her shorts.
"Feeling bored?" She slides her foot a little closer to yours, almost imperceptibly. "Am I keeping you entertained enough?"
Her lips pull up at the corner. You chuckle.
"Oh, no."
She scoffs and puts her hands on her knees, pushes herself closer to the window sill and bumps her elbow into your shoulder. The bare skin of her neck and shoulders and face is getting a little redder as she cranes it forward. "Okay, if not, do you need someone to entertain you, maybe."
Your mouth twists, fighting a smile.
Hyeju is so close to you, you could kiss her really, really easily and not care how she'd feel about that. It's not a habit, not as often as it used to be, but every once and a while - she starts this game. Every once in a while, Hyeju just starts smiling like that, and leans into you like she's daring you to play along, hard round of chicken until it's clear what the two of you are doing with each other; the minutes pass by, one, then two, and then - maybe she pushes first, her leg on yours, or a kiss to your jaw or a palm on your back as she walks behind you - and then you'd turn and kiss her full on the mouth and pull at her clothes like nothing's holding you back.
She cocks a smile, and says, "why don't you go and call what's her name."
"Because."
You glance out at the cold, gray light outside. If you had a better understanding of any of the workings inside you, you could reach forward and tell her everything that's stopped you.
-
You're supposed to meet the girl-of-the-month at a New Year's party. Hyeju looks disgusted within the first ten seconds of the whole story.
"Heejin dumped you once, like, two months ago? For no reason."
"It wasn't a break-up. We talked about what we did wrong and we're doing better," you say, lifting one finger.
She glares, then, tilts her lips into this unamused purse that you can't take seriously at all when she starts walking back and forth across your living room, hands moving emphatically to the sides as she speaks, like she's in the process of unveiling a brilliant argument and is using both palms to guide your eyes toward the unquestionable logic. "God, you're the worst. You're just her easy fuck and you'll still answer her late night calls, really."
She leaves the rest unsaid - that she's just not that into you.
"I don't tell you which boys or girls you can call up," you try, putting on a boot. "If you'd like, I can. Name off the list, and make sure that the right name leaves my mouth this time."
Hyeju doesn't blush when you glance up, which is the surprising thing. No - her cheeks have grown a little more sullen, and she stares down at her socks in contemplation. You're in the middle of fastening up the lace and getting to your feet, waiting, wondering if Hyeju's going to continue this conversation, when Hyeju takes one small step forward.
And her hand goes out to touch your chin, thumb at your lip, fingers holding it in place - like you'll turn if she lets it go - the sharp shock of the sensation like a short circuit, before her knee comes between yours, and your body tingles, at the root and stem. "Hey," she says, eyes meeting yours. The edge of her nail flicking gently as she drags the curve of her thumb downward.
"Hyeju, please - I need to get going."
When you start walking toward your car, she calls out from the window. Something about how you better have the time of your life, fun for the two of you - it’s only fair.
(You feel, somewhere, a certain strange loss.)
"What, are you going to stay up and wait until I come back? Or am I interrupting your session for the night."
You can barely make it out, the smallest look passing over her face. "Maybe," she says, and then: "god, it's fucking cold."
-
New year's parties have this sort of quality of being simultaneously the most thrilling, exciting prospect on earth and the absolute worst fucking event in the history of the planet - depending on the venue, how egregious the racket is for a gin and tonic, the guests - oh, and the company.
Jinsoul and Choerry are both in attendance; in separate corners and in equal states of undress and intoxication, which seems fine by every present party, who are for the most part busy ogling one or the other in the full spirit of the New Year - as you would too, if the stars are aligned and Heejin hasn't already gone upstairs with half the guestlist, her arm wound with someone else's, as per her recent habit; if you haven't been tossed aside for any of the usual, less forgettable prospects and for something bigger, better and certainly much more enjoyable.
Which, if there were any way to track these things down with math, you'd already be reaching for your pen and notebook, as Hyeju would describe this sensation in a phrase she picked up from some podcast. Inevitable means necessary, or something.
"Good party," says Heejin, throwing back another drink.
"Yep. You said that," and you finish yours in one long draw, hissing through your teeth.
Heejin is a goddamn delight, of course, in all the simplest of ways. When she looks up at you - mouth pink, hair framing her face - she is so clearly and completely aware of what she is, and exactly what the world has in store for her, what it has set aside.
"Do you want to know what happened at the other New Year’s party we went to last year?"
"I - yeah. Hit me. Tell me all about (another date you were on) Heejin, that’s exactly what I’d love, let’s hear it."
She throws her head back and laughs, before starting into an overlong recount of her latest, greatest conquest, you on the outside. This is the thing - this is how a pretty face, with just a hint of a flirt, will make you feel for a beautiful, attractive, vivacious - absolutely shameless, raving sex-crazed lunatic of sorts who, apparently, loves to run around town and make a bunch of your closest friends fall in love and heartbroke-er, with every passing notion of her beauty, her charm - just the tilt of her chin, and some poor fucker is lost, absolutely lost.
Even she knows it's a bad habit of hers.
But who doesn't have a weakness? You've got plenty of your own - plenty, Heejin can admit - everyone does, in a way, and so Heejin, the other sloppy drunks milling about the party, and Choerry and Jinsoul all agree - someone like her just happens to have the best kind of weakness - so, so many of them, in fact:
"Can you believe how easily a few words get Jinsoul riled up? Or how it only takes a couple drinks for Choerry to pull up the hem of her skirt, not knowing the effect that'll have?"
And as for the last, and arguably worst kind -
"Hyeju, huh? What a great start to the New Year," is her final word. Heejin reaches across and downs your drink. Her expression turns just shy of grave, a pensive look. "Not your smartest idea, the living-together situation. Who in their right mind would put themselves in such a mess?"
"Thanks for the great advice." You wave her off, irritated.
There's another laugh before Heejin leans her face onto the table.
"Though maybe she's onto something, now that I think of it. Who needs anyone for the New Year?" and it's almost convincing the way her mouth, lined up with the rim of the glass, smirks when she drinks. "Mm. All a matter of taste."
-
The snow is halfway up your calves when you realize you need to find a cab at 11:30 PM on New Year's Eve. (Which, categorically, is the worst time to need to find a cab on New Year’s Eve.)
Or just:
11:36 PM and the nearest bus stop is too far away.
11:41 and the temperature feels like its dropped by fifteen degrees, like you should start wondering what hypothermia symptoms look like and what signs to look out for in yourself, your future wife and your children. You try not to think about why, but you get your phone out and immediately call Hyeju, so you're not sure what you think you're denying.
"No party?" she asks. Her voice is distant and sleep-ridden, but Hyeju's quick to pick up, like always.
"It sucked, I'm trying to find a way home early. Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year." There's a long pause, filled in by the squeak of snow beneath your boots. "Get a kiss?"
"Uh, not yet. In the market, I guess."
Hyeju's low hum isn't reassuring, either. "Well, you're kind of missing your window. Bad time to start looking."
"Says you, and here you are - still up for someone to spend the night with. Look at you," you respond, all this snark in your voice that she clearly hears. There's a long sigh.
"Actually," and Hyeju, much to the confusion of you and possibly the whole world, doesn't respond, and for a few seconds, the line goes completely silent, leaving you hanging.
She breathes once and comes out of her sleep with a yawn.
"I actually," she begins. There's a lot less preamble this time - this tone - and when she speaks again it comes through not nearly as sleepy, "was sorta wondering. Are you on your way home?"
"If I don't freeze to death, yeah."
"Yeah - no, yeah," and that's it. That's the sum total of what makes any difference between where you were a moment ago, and where you are right now, head spinning, fingers buzzing. Hyeju waits and there's the wind on the line, snow settling on your hat and in the corners of your face.
"I - sorry. I probably woke you up. Are you expecting someone else," you say, very small. Your foot drags behind the other. The cars whizz by you faster, passing.
"Hm. You're the only one, I guess," and after that - just static and the muffled sounds of her footsteps on creaky floorboards - or the tick of her ceiling fan? You can't make heads or tails of the rest of the background noise. All those words she said.
You bite your tongue to stop whatever curse words start pouring out from the jumble and cross streets, or the pedestrian underpass; snow gets stuck in your lashes and burns, but your chest is like a molten furnace. You consider telling her right there on the line, everything you're feeling - so hot, it feels like fire, Hyeju, I'm not used to getting heated and desperate and impatient - that even if you're not here now - just imagining your face - the sound of your breathing, it feels like I'm on the cusp.
"Yeah. Sure - good - okay, Hyeju."
"I guess, see you soon?"
"In a bit."
(It takes 33 minutes, trudging through cold and wet. It's all very dramatic, you think, and there's no one there to even watch you suffer for it, or - though you try not to think about that particular line - really, no one at all.)
-
You hear the way your key grinds in the lock - it's been like this, jammed since summer, when you pushed the front door in late at night a little too hard and something came undone and made a sound like a small stone tumbling down the world's deepest well. The hinge squeaks, and there's ice on the stoop, on the doormat, on every nook and corner you can see, all the way up your neck.
And your face, too. You shake off your hat, undo the buttons on your jacket, and pull off your boots before hanging them and all the layers to dry.
You can make out the outline of her profile at the edge of the door frame, right in the kitchen - barefoot, hip pressed against the island, pajamas - the dim lights illuminating the shadow of her head, hair over her face -
- but you don't pause. The next layer. There's nothing left to say. You're too cold for excuses, too smart to use the same ones you'd been taught, like: this is a normal, acceptable circumstance; everything, anything, will be perfectly normal if the two of us act as though that's the case; pretend we're both acting within the norms of reason, within our senses and logical thinking and I won't make myself go out in the cold a second more - won't stand for more than five minutes with your eyes looking like they're waiting.
So you move instead toward the kitchen, where the heating is better and she's already pouring coffee. There's a heat radiating out of the oven, and it smells sweet in there, like cinnamon and warm butter, and you wish you weren't still shaking, blood barely thawed, but there it is - her face, watching you - eyes gleaming as you wrap your hands around a mug, steam rising up - a shiver running up your arms; her knees skirting yours when she takes one step back and there's the cabinet door shut, then open again, and then a palm on your back.
Hyeju presses a cup of the fresh coffee, now warm enough to drink, to your chest, and says, softly. "What the fuck happened out there?"
She starts reaching out to wipe the frost and slush from your face. You let her hand hold you still, eyes wide.
"Oh you know," and her palm stays, even though it's obviously - suddenly - gotten warmer, and wetter too, and the longer she stands there and lets her fingers warm the pale bones of your cheeks, her wrist, the base of your forehead and ears, the more expectant the look on her face grows. "The usual."
Her eyes go as narrow as they ever can. For just a moment. "You're gonna die a slow, pathetic death someday, just for the record."
"Don't forget how this starts," you try, and feel your neck go warm, throat and breath tight. And not even when her shoulders shift, her mouth going smug - just looking at you.
“I mean, don’t you think,” Hyeju says, wagging a finger at you, “that when you suffer through a bad date, the world ought to owe you something?”
"Like what?" you ask.
"Better taste in women - maybe more orgasms; I dunno, a blowjob?" She shrugs. "The general idea is just that someone gets to cum."
You nearly choke on the air in front of you. "Jesus, Hyeju, warn a guy."
“What? I’m trying to commiserate with you,” Hyeju laughs. “Wouldn’t that be funny? Being able to kiss someone you actually, you know, might love you back, and at the same time. Imagine not hooking-up just to forget a shitty day. Sounds wild, right?"
"Utterly deranged."
"So wild."
When Hyeju sighs and gives a long, nonchalant hum, leaning her body closer, pressing up until her waist hits the cabinet top and you're pressed together chest-to-chest, she looks at you and her hips settle, the heel of her foot reaching around your calf.
There's that tingle. Again and again. You're not even trying to not think about what it might mean.
But then, you start, silently and unconsciously, trying to answer the question: why don't you, maybe. Why don't you, actually - Hyeju kisses you, pulls on the loop of your jeans and lets your lips brush the corners of hers and pulls away, suddenly, mumbling and head-turning. And just as abruptly, your nose buries in the space between her neck and her shoulder, where it's all warm. And when she puts her palms on your hips and squeezes and twists her knuckles into the fabric there, it seems she wants your hands up her shirt and under the small of her back.
And her hands - they're fidgety tonight, fingers curled up to keep their nails and the chill away, moving lower - one on your ass, while the other comes forward and begins rubbing circles, a handful of times - enough so you're letting a deep, low breath escape into the space just above her collar, your knee working its way between hers.
"That," Hyeju breathes, lips at your ear, hand reaching down to trace the hard curve of your cock pressing in the spot right between you, and there's that small rush again, familiar now, like you've caught a rhythm and she wants to feel it in its fullness: "is how you can make it up to me. For making me stay up. Worrying about you, god knows why. Waiting."
You're still half-frozen in a way, slowly thawing. "Hyeju, I've been trudging through the consequences of my actions this entire night. What am I about to suffer through now?"
"It's no consequence, honestly."
You squint.
"Just an idea, but," she breathes again; your bodies getting closer, and looking up at you, she grins and reaches down to touch the very root of you, her fingers drumming. You make a sound, and at that she says, her voice coming out thick, low:
"Want me to get you off?"
She squeezes again for good measure, just to be clear. Just a slight curl of fingers that's enough to send a flash of heat and the transient thought: why, why, why is she always wearing those fucking shorts, even in the winter?
Your blood thrums through the pulse at the end of your cock. You shake.
"Alright," is the response you let out.
And at that, Hyeju takes your wrist and leads you upstairs.
"There's that look. Don't worry. We'll find a way," is all she says as your feet walk forward, up step-by-step and higher and further up to her room. "After all, isn't that what we've always done?"
"It's usually whatever will make me stop talking."
Hyeju puts her chin on your shoulder. Her eyes follow the lines and shapes in the patterns of wallpaper as you turn onto her side of the apartment, and even through the wall and behind the doorway, her arm still around you, she pulls at your chin until your faces turn and you both can share each other's heat.
"Who, you and your awful habit of talking out-loud in your head while you work through equations?" and she brings her lips to yours, close and warm.
"Hey. Fuck you," and your voice breaks into an odd, low laughter when she kisses you harder.
"Yeah, I know," she whispers as her hand dives past the band of your boxers, palm sliding easily until she's gripping you fully and letting her fingers rub. She holds you there, in her room, her arm looped through yours, another arm resting at your belly.
And she stops there. She stays like that: holding your gaze.
"Look, Hyeju," you say, unable to not, though this can hardly count for anything; this, what you're about to admit, is nothing new. You swallow. "The thing is - you shouldn't."
"Don't want me to touch you?" she says, finger to your lips.
"Well, that's different. Maybe. Is there - maybe it's not the best thing to ask you right now."
Hyeju considers for a brief moment and tuts under her breath. "Can you at least do me the decency of waiting until I'm done wringing you dry before you say shit like that."
And she moves then, toward the bed.
So:
No. Yes. Maybe. Who knows, you tell yourself. Maybe, but only because you'll do anything if it makes you feel less sick, like a creature standing over its own skeleton - an abandoned shell; a relic, something to be feared and disgusted, as you let her go between your thighs, kneel beside the bed.
"I mean - since when - have you felt," is just as far as you're allowed to go before Hyeju presses her nose into you and pulls you out of the thin, cold fabric - palm, thumb, all those slender fingers swiping over your head - and now there's just the smell of her room and the shock, the buzz that runs down your spine and settles somewhere, somewhere inside the small and desperate movement of your hips and the tension building just below.
And god, fuck, Hyeju’s lips.
These soft, wet, pouty fucking things that could suck you straight off if you were feeling any less stupid or inexperienced or sentimental - if she wasn't solely intent on teasing it out of you first; a slow drag of the tongue up the underside; the tip of it poking, tracing the rim, like she's figured you out, just where to lead you. She's ready to smoke you out - always - until you're not taking in a breath every ten seconds but starting to close your eyes to the overwhelming, needling pleasure, too sharp, the way she knows you like best.
"Now you're finally - mm - starting to sound hot," and that smirk comes back to the corner of her mouth, teasing the sensitive belly of your cock and tracing her tongue everywhere. "With the voice and -"
You're losing track, her thumb and fingers circling the whole length of you - just, one after the other - mouth a hair-breadth away, her breath hovering like a promise.
"- that face."
"Don't, fucking tease me-"
The sound of your cock going in is like nothing else.
Wet and filthy in all the right ways.
Just the suction in her throat has your eyes nearly roll back into your head - Hyeju's gaze calmly watching the terrible sort of helplessness that washes over you like this: her lips wrapped around, bobbing - her hair falling into the wet mess of her mouth and sticking there. Hyeju likes being a little sloppy, likes feeling that spark run up the length of her tongue when she slides. It's the wet and the heat that gives everything away.
"I don't have much of a choice -" her jaw and chin is smudged when she pulls back off of your cock, mouth glossy and glistening, "and honestly, wouldn't it be a better use of our time, or my talents if I actually do that thing?"
“Which is?”
She looks up for a bit and sighs, the flush blooming pink to the tip of her ears and into the rounds of her cheeks and all across her neck. "Since, as far as I can see, what you really like - is, oh I'm just spit-balling here," and she stops just to bite her tongue and look into your eyes, "it's letting the girls take care of you? Isn't that right?"
You want to tell her, no, not always, that it's not as though you enjoy giving control completely - that that would be completely and unarguably, the opposite of true -
That most of the time you love it when the person you're with is a little bossy, a little crazy for you. You know some guys really get off on a strong woman and maybe, maybe if a girl's pretty and dressed up, and - sure - a little wet, but that's hardly -
“You know I’m right,” she says, a flicker of mischief skittering across her features. “These walls are paper thin.”
You want to tell her, perhaps remind her, that she likes someone in charge just as much as you do - to be taken care of, told what to do - to have a hand curled up around her throat and the other at her tits while a guy fucks her the right way and takes the reigns when she needs. So who are you, when it comes to knowing her better? And who, really, are you fooling?
But before you can get any words in: Hyeju dips, lips parting where the head of your cock throbs, and then disappears; and the hot wet warmth, enveloping all around your shaft and back; the curve of her throat contracting.
You moan - a lot, and louder this time - into the whole feeling. The way her fingers work the distance from the base, twisting and twisting and twisting into the pout of her lips; or how the sound is like nothing - a whimpering, messy sound - almost a whine and definitely not a slurp as your cock sinks further and further, until it's all one big, heavy throb.
And it's like Hyeju can read your thoughts, the visual you have of her lips screwed tight around your shaft - cum leaking from the corners, and her eyes scrunched up tight, as she looks up to watch your face unravel - this perfect image of her taking you, all of you, swallowing each drop as your hips start rutting up into her and - and - and.
Or else she gets impatient, because then Hyeju gives one long pull off the tip of your cock - saliva mixed in the precum there, and that shiny string of fluid hanging, caught in the middle between your bodies - a disgusting and irresistible sight. Her jaw slack, lips swollen and full, and her mouth gone wide open, wanting.
"Fuck - that's good. Don't stop," you start to whimper, desperate, at the sight, the smell. Her hot breath coming quick over the red wanting wetness left behind - then touched by the cold air - fuck -
She slaps your cock to the corner of her lips as she speaks.
"Can you believe what's going on down here?"
"God, can you -"
"And to think most guys wanna jump straight in. That or fuck a load out between my tits."
"Hyeju, shit, come on -"
She kisses the soft tip, right where it’s most sensitive, rolls it along her lip. Then, back down the length of your shaft where she's generous with her mouth inch after inch - lapping, licking, laving - and Hyeju begins working her way down and downward, nestling in at the edge of the bed and between your thighs.
Your eyes blow up the first time she dips low enough to put your balls in her mouth.
“Mmhm,” she hums.
It’s killing you and she knows it; it’s killing you and she can feel the pre-cum leaking from your slit - the thumb she has moored there, keeping everything right where she wants it, running circles up the length with such little intention - she could bring you to the end just like this.
"Am I supposed to believe it?” she asks out from beneath the shadow of your cock, looking up at you with her eyes all wide and brilliant - pupils dark as sin. “That not a single one of those girls ever did you proper?"
You curse under your breath. Hyeju seems amused, at least, like she can't help but love doing that to you, which is almost worse and honestly the sexiest thing a girl can be. You groan - wanton, raw and desperate and feeling exactly what she wants you to feel when her nails drag along the dip of your hip bones.
"Did they not leave you fucked-up the right way?"
Her wrist flicks out these twists and turns, making your spine bend to her control. Like even when you're sure to be bundling her hair in your fingers and fucking the whole length of your cock down her throat, all of this is the worst kind of power-trip for her - not the other way around.
Her tongue runs through the tangle of your balls, slowly, lasciviously, as though the plan is to memorize and map every detail.
And the worst part is, how much it's making you desperate for the warmth of her mouth - where she'll run her tongue up and down and over and around and inside - before sucking you off nice and slow.
"Or maybe," she laughs; another flick to the top and then suddenly her hand goes faster and the fist pumping the rest of you tightens. "They left you so needy you're resorting to having the bestie suck you off so that you won't be desperate the next time you date. Oh my god-"
Hyeju breaks into this fit of laughter, and you're nearly cross-eyed at the feeling of your entire existence - not just your cock - so wholly held within her mercy, and her pity, and you're breathing so shallow now you'd think this is the real reason people have died and will die - this exact moment where you're choking and stuttering at the edges, so very close to cumming and going absolutely bonkers with how good Hyeju is with her hands, her tongue, her mouth - everything - how much she's wrecking you, and your jaw drops, wide open, her name dripping like molasses off your lower lip.
"Are you going to cum?" she asks, curiously. All as if she can't see you nodding, collapsing under pressure, and then and there: "should we make it official?"
Her nose tickles the seam of your balls. And your toes begin to curl and uncurl - all this anticipatory, coiling pleasure burning from her throat, shooting from the pit of your stomach; the tightening spiral, twinging and stretching every nerve - as her lips enclose around the end of your cock, softly.
And oh, just excruciatingly slowly.
You watch the irresistible shape of her mouth travel down until her throat feels so incredibly, beautifully, and unbelievably tight, and then, just like that - Hyeju starts fucking herself onto you; pushing forward and down the full, rigid length of you, hard and fast - each time hitting deeper inside her - all that sticky, messy, wet squelching.
"Unh-unh, yeah. Unh. Mm-!" you say, or moan, or some animal version of that, maybe, it’s incoherent.
But regardless:
It's messy and your hands scramble for purchase in the sheets of her bed when you feel that snap, the tightening of a trigger; when your balls roll up and it builds, and builds, and it comes faster - harder and -
"Hyeju," you pant, and it sounds so, so filthy. "I'm gonna cum, if you - gonna cum-"
Hyeju pulls you free from her lips, quite possibly at the most final of final moments, to rub the base up and down, just right, between her fingers. Your cock is resting right on her cheek when it all happens. When she squeezes her fingers around your balls just enough to hear you wheeze and make a sound no sane man should have the right to. And fuck, you're cumming all over her face - or just one side of it - which is already just -
Okay, fuck.
She makes a startled sound and her fist closes tightly around your shaft when you pump another fresh load of white up onto her eyebrow.
"I'm, ah-shit," your mouth moves faster than the blood in your veins - and now the shame - oh god, the humiliation, it's pulsing right behind you. "Hyeju," you apologize.
Only, Hyeju has no interest in any of it. She doesn't seem offended or disappointed in proportion to how you're ruining her pretty face: "no, just do it, cum wherever you fucking like."
Which isn't what you're expecting at all, because Hyeju makes no effort to close her lips, let alone avoid any of it; nor is she making a fuss about the sticky mess in her hair, her mouth, nor as another stream of cum throbs from your cock, all tangled up in the long dark eyelashes that sweep down across her cheek.
It’s fucking filthy: you're cumming all over her and she's just kneeling there, telling you, "good boy."
See, she pushes through it, languidly - all those filthy sounds, and those watery little tears gathering at the edge of her eye and all of that, mixing up together until you're rolling your head back with your orgasm, shuddering, feeling weak - drained dry -
Except,
Hyeju's pushing a finger to your chest, kneeling up tall from the side of the bed. She turns her body toward the center of the bed and wipes a bit of the cum on her knuckles into the sheets. Here you feel like you've done something terrible or at least regrettable, like that last round at the bar when you have a test the next morning; a dick move, all of the sort that requires apology.
"You gotta give me a minute, if you're thinking about hopping on."
"Hmm. Sounds like a lot to ask."
"Wait," you grab her arm. Hyeju grins and there's nothing stopping the shake of your knees now, that weakness between your thighs: "let me get you a drink."
"Or."
"Or?"
Her tongue peeks out, running along her upper lip. Her eyes drop again, hands dipping below, beneath the hem of her shorts and oh. She slips a hand past her bra. The whole outline of it. And you -
"Mm, I could show you what that actually means." She lowers her chest, her breasts, and a lot of skin to the mattress while keeping your cock firmly in her hands. "That look tells me you wanna stick around a bit. Stay up past New Year’s, you know?"
You're almost unable to parse her words, there is so much to look at: the jutting curve of her chest, cleavage pressing into the mattress as her body settles between your knees. A soft chuckle; a sigh: "you are seriously the best lay, no-one else can get hard the minute after they just fucking exploded all over me-"
"Fuck, watch it," you hiss, because there's oversensitivity - and then there's Hyeju's mouth on the line of your cock, polishing you clean.
And it’s not that she isn’t trying to prove a point. Or that she's not trying to tease - that's an inherent quality of her character: a naturally dominant position with a high appetite for your lust. That much, Hyeju gets from you, whether you've got your head down between her thighs or the other way, too, so that her neck is arched around and her ass pushed up high in the air, legs open, and if she had any idea you would spend the next twenty minutes or more just going down on her, licking into her creaming cunt while two fingers work over her aching clit, then really, Hyeju would only encourage it - maybe get on top, force you to gag - and so you don't know where it comes from - how and why you want nothing more than to drive your fingers inside her and work her until she's a wet, squelching mess, not when this was always Hyeju's role of being the aggressor; and yes, sure, even the aggressed.
Surely not because you came so hard, still somewhat shivering with the remnants of a rather abrupt, painful, sudden and all-consuming orgasm.
"We're not doing anything else," she says, lips pulled up into a smirk right at the crown of your cockhead. But before you can respond she pushes a hot open kiss, and goes lower. She presses the flat of her tongue to the seam, just below the head. Licks a line right up to the tip and finishes with a tender flick that sends you fisting the bedspread in your fingers and leaning back as your mind begins to disintegrate -
"I'm not going to ride you yet, or going to get my hips in your hands so you can fuck my pussy real hard until I cry and pass out. Nothing of that sort is gonna happen." She licks one long drag of her tongue. Then, the other way. "I want to make this very clear: this isn't some huge favor - and if you want it - want it so bad, you can stay there and I'm going to do everything for you. We will get there - together," and with her voice shaking as she brings the wet, glistening skin of your cock just inside her mouth, she looks up. "We'll get each other off, just like this," and it's the deep, dark, throated moan that makes your thighs and all the nerves in between stiffen and buck when she swallows you again.
Hyeju's hands tug, pull her whole body closer still as it slowly bends, curves - her ass raised, her stomach lying on the bed. Her mouth takes you another few inches, until the tip of her nose is barely visible, but when she pauses to lick the cum still left over - the cum that's starting to leak out again - to breathe through it, then squeeze her palm and bob her mouth down, take another inch, until the sides are stuffed and emptying out again, that's when she finally has something to say: "got anything left? I'm a little starved."
"I. Christ, yes-" you whine, which doesn't help your case at all: the image, the image of you lying flat - back with Hyeju's head tucked between your knees, her hand pulling out your cock.
Sloppy, slimy-wet.
She presses an innocent, not-at-all-innocent kiss right to your tip, puckering -
"You know what I did learn in that genetics class?" she muses, tongue flicking over her lips. Hyeju's about ready for a second helping - you're losing it. "When I first saw that DNA diagram - the double helix and all those little base pairs, and everything - it made me think of your cock. Your cock and me. Specifically our DNA. Did you know-"
She presses her palm over the head and rolls it - teases and strokes her palm - her knuckles - her fist - the whole nine. "When I hold your big fucking cock, mm, and just get it right - up in here, rubbing all along my walls - so deep, it gets me in my fucking ribs, makes me choke like I never been choked before, ah-mm," and it's this thought sliding toward the front of your mind, this perfect picture: Hyeju, getting fucked hard and open and stuffed full and stuffed good and stupid; you’ve got more than a few inches on her, can make her feel small and delicate; you know how to do her right.
But here you have Hyeju stroking the shaft - holding her hand tightly up near the head, rolling and twisting and sliding down and pushing her whole body right into the side of your legs: the soft, solid length, warm flesh and curves everywhere pressing into you.
You sit back, and just watch Hyeju with her eyes cool and composed, like half of her fucking face isn't streaked with your cum, mouth wrapped and looking fucking satisfied to be a total, gorgeous mess. She makes a dramatic display of kissing the tip again, just before telling you words you probably dreamt up at some point - either sleep deprived, or, during three AM jackoff, fantasizing. "Sometimes, just from riding your cock, I can't sit up straight."
"Fuck," and you feel your whole body run rigid, because apparently that's something you’ve been aching to hear.
You're covering her mouth again. White streaking onto her lips - where she's catching it in the well beneath her tongue and letting it spill out of the corner of her mouth. Into the crook of your thumb, which catches a drip here and there and rubs it down the length - down the curve - and pushes it back between Hyeju's pert little pout.
"Doesn't count, mister, just more pre-cum," she says, all with the audacity of a wink and smile; her words are a little garbled around the head of your cock between her teeth. And when you nod and realize just how painfully your jaw hurts, your throat becomes tight and raw, a knot pulling the underside from the center. Hyeju slides her lips lower, lower down, to the hilt and stays there, just like that - one hand holding down the flat of your belly to keep your hips still, her chin hanging - bobbing-as she feels every pulse, every twitching shift. You curl one hand around the side of her face, over the sharp edge of her jaw; rub a thumb into the delicate skin of her throat.
She shifts. You start to tell her what you like: how hot the rush comes when a girl puts her tongue against the slit at the very tip, and licks at the precum in nice, quick circles, soft and fluttering. And how her fingers shouldn't hesitate either, Hyeju's not even struggling to give it to you - god - just giving and -
She jerks her head up, swallowing down her next breath like it's one of her last. "I'm serious, if you're going to fuck a hole, start with my mouth - we can move onto everything else after."
"You're ridiculous -"
She meets her lips to your head, kissing once. Again. Kissing every inch, letting her mouth wrap around and then just - staying, just - staying like that and humming, with you, enjoying the fullness, the smell of you, the taste, the shape, just the weight and size and you.
There is spit fucking everywhere.
And if it's not clear what you're supposed to be doing - her fingers weave through yours, squeezing hard at the wrist and you can imagine: pulling her forward by her hair and holding her down while she chokes on your cock. "Fuck, Hyeju," you say, and your voice comes out way shakier than you'd like, "when, how did it get like this, huh? You always - always did, shit, always want your mouth filled."
"Never figured you to be someone who'd get turned on watching their friend sucking their cock like this."
"Doesn't everybody love the sight of their cock in a pretty girl's mouth?
"You were really convinced they weren't lining up behind you? Or anyone in the queue who can't keep their eyes off of this thing. Tell me, and try not to lie, try not to bullshit this one out: how many girls have you come home and fucked and creamed their brains out - then asked for the sloppiest, most -"
"Honestly."
"- Filthiest, nasty, ball-busting, gut-wrenching blowjob ever to make them think - to make them really start wondering what the hell it was you did - like it's gotta be something that leaves them so ruined, they can't ever not compare - can't ever not compare this moment, right here. Ever. When you give them the hardest fucking of their life, compared to any other guy - can't not, because no-one, literally no-one's cock can fuck like you do-"
"Fuck-"
"Any harder. Come on, seriously, tell me it isn't true. Come on."
Her voice - her fucking words, the tone she uses and how her words roll: honey-warm and soaking with sweet, thick degradation - she talks like sex, and that's exactly what gets you harder, like it’s something else; like it’s nothing, like it’s less, so much worse - you feel this guilty-dirty heat pool at your tailbone and push down the hard press of you throbbing all the way to her nose. And Hyeju smiles as much as she's capable around the fat, round stretch, humming around the warm taste of you, before opening wide and sinking her throat on it.
There's nothing like it.
You've got two fists in her hair; she's so tight and wet around every god-damn inch. Her cheeks flush - hot to the touch; her tongue laving in slow, long drags, slicking your shaft nice and warm until you're balls-deep and pushing her further: a small shift to the hips, a push here, a harder, faster pull, and Hyeju's feet behind her go curling like an angry cat, wanting the tug.
A long, satisfied breath slips from the hollows of her throat.
There are tears threatening, thickening her lashes, and though she doesn't choke - you're just afraid. Every sound that she pulls out, her eyes blinking up to you as if it's only natural to love getting used by her friend's cock, like the very premise of it - swallowing down the very shape of you, dragged over her tongue and brushing cum into the back of her throat - is something she can’t go without.
But this is nothing compared to the noises from where her lips are pressed tight around you, where you're hearing and even feeling:
That gluck, gluck - where her chest spasms just the slightest when her nose gets nuzzled right into your belly and you remember how much she likes to hear you talk dirty, how fucking wet it gets her. The heavy, deep breaths, gasps; the strangled moans when your hips just buck - the heat and the thrill, and this is better than every other time because there's just something in this moment -
"I'm not gonna come again, not like this. Not in your mouth. You can’t-"
But Hyeju refuses to hear a word; just pumps your shaft faster, feeling it's familiar hardness grow and throb and ache and retch, all her effort paying off: you're slick with precum and spit, hard and straining, the whole shaft begging for release - all because of her. And Hyeju won't stop, she pushes her cheek onto your thigh and then taps a hand there to pull your hips. The motion drives your cock further still inside her. Until it’s bathed in her spit, your cum, all this mess.
Until it's reaching, choking her, and the muffled sounds she's making are filthy and wet and so incredulously hot.
But god. Hyeju has something of a temper and a habit, too: with those big beautiful eyes and the perfect plump of her pouting lips, her tits swelling up around, when your grip slips on her shoulder, and her mouth goes tighter - how the pleasure begins to make you unbearably cruel and you push her away from you, only for a second -
She doesn't wait or seem to care; Hyeju follows the cock with her whole head and whimpers so hotly in her throat when it plops right back on her tongue. "That's more - more like - fuck, oh, there we go," her nose and fingers prodding.
You groan through a high, strangled whimper, a helpless shiver that turns into an uncontrollable roll of the hips - you can't believe it: she's already so thoroughly debauched and defaced; just fucking painted with it. Your cum dripping off her chin and rolling down her neck.
"Fuck - gonna make me - ah, Jesus -"
When Hyeju seems to have reached her fill, the feeling, you're cumming - pumping the length of your shaft. And the moment she feels you twitch and throb and that first hot spill lands in the bend of her mouth, it's as if she understands and holds herself tight - her legs going stock-still while your eyes blow up behind her, your cock spewing another and then another thick, milky load into her mouth, over her tongue: all along the topography of her throat - sticky cum landing in every ridge and valley -
Hyeju catches as much as she can. What little she can. You cum and pump and gush so much that when you're finally finished - done - every last drop spent and given - your cock throbs soft between her fingers; her chin is a complete and utter mess and her chest heaves with the sound of her catching her own breath. Hyeju groans softly and just swishes the load around in her mouth for a bit as if wanting to remember its feel and weight before lifting her eyes to look into yours. You can just barely see the color.
"Jesus, Hyeju-"
The entire bit of it, slick and shining-wet. With a small moan, a sound from the back of her throat: one swallow and the cum is gone, disappeared, vanished. She smiles like she didn't just ruin your entire goddamn life and, with her body limp and exhausted beside you - her gentle hand rubbing a flat stroke over your thigh before yours slips up to meet her chin.
"You," you curse and roll your eyes, catching the mess at the edge of her jaw, the very little left in the corners of her lips. You feed the cum over her bottom lip - her chin, her throat - watching your friend: Hyeju's throat, bobbing. "Really didn't have to," you start, but you realize just how useless a point it is to make.
She's smiling and biting and showing you what's left between the tips of her canines. "Do you always do this to the people who suck you off?"
"That's an awful habit. A pretty girl's lips aren't meant to get that messy," you reply.
"Oh." She frowns. "Well, I do a lot of things I shouldn't."
"God, seriously," and you think there's no greater hell, no sweeter pain than whatever's lingering in these little aftershocks - this fizzling and dying sort of pain, where the body is buzzed with all you're aching for. It's impossible to stop this train of thoughts, is the fucking feeling of her-
But just then, Hyeju rises to her knees, a new spark in her eyes, as she grabs ahold of your wrist and tugs you off the sheets, a few inches closer.
"And you," she purrs as she drags the palm of your hand across her neck and collarbone, collecting what remains and making the perfect image, "well - you are going to help clean me up, like you said before." She sits tall; the arch of her spine is pronounced - her back, so, very, slightly tapering, to where your hand slips right off the last of it: the wide flare of her hips. "Now isn't that the gentleman's thing to do?" she asks.
"Of course." You sigh, resigned and in desperate need of water. "Of course," you add and smirk a little and slip your hand lower, toward where her skin is getting hot, and her body, "let's get you clean."
"Mm." She's already grinning. "You know what wasn't in those textbooks?"
"Oh, I can only guess." You bite your cheek and start to lower yourself back. "Give it a try."
Hyeju drags you by the wrist toward the hall, the bathroom, ostensibly the shower -
"There's no way in hell you don't want to put a baby in me, like, right fucking now."
"Is that what we're doing?"
Hyeju makes a face like you're stupid - she might've grabbed a towel on the way out. She wipes her chin a little while walking - the corner of her mouth where, well - where it looks like a little dribble has somehow remained. "No. But you’re going to fuck me like it is."
-
(There's got so much on her mind.
The door of the shower rattling in its frame as she struggles standing up against it. Getting fucked so fast and full, the feeling of both your hands cupped beneath the weight of her breasts. It's not the fact of where you are and your situation, per say - more about the immediate, the imperative nature. About fucking you. She was already feeling herself like, leaking the moment the door shut, so all that waiting, all that patience, really - and it's what drove her insane when you were, well: like that, after she put her mouth around your cock, made a right and proper mess of herself, and sucked you off.
Though there's less on her mind, clearly, when she cums all over your cock.
She's crying with her tits up onto the glass, your palm holding her ribs. Your cum-slick cock working itself hard again as it slips, back and forth, as you're fucking her open, spread apart. It's your finger in her asshole. That's what's on her mind then. How the press of your knuckle lights her entire fucking spine on fire - how the other hand finds her clit in all this, too, when you're no longer supporting the both of you but rather Hyeju is folding on her bent knee and trusting, on shaking and shivering, raw nerves, that you're not going to collapse.
"Fucking. God, please-"
There's the harsh slap of flesh - skin on wet skin, your palms against the sides of her ass and the curve of the breast. But otherwise - it's you, sighing - soft and gentle, like you can't get over the feel of her. "Hyeju, oh-fucking, god, fucking," is what you're saying, and it doesn't end up really mattering which one of you came last because she can feel you twitching, squelching in and out with how badly you're wanting to explode inside, but also you can feel her cunt absolutely begging, this fucking fluttering and clamping down on every thrust and the moment you manage to grind this angle she loses her ability to speak properly because you're not just, like - fucking her-
Just, absolutely, completely pounding her pussy, stretching her insides, dragging and sliding along the walls; each rough rub and thrust makes her knees quiver until her body is trembling and falling. But mostly her voice, the sharp gasp that shakes into her, how her nails are scraping the walls of the shower stall and she's saying - telling, crying and asking and wondering and pleading - just utterly astounded:
"Amazing," she huffs, breathes coming out cloudy and true onto the pane of glass, "you - it’s, fucking amazing.")
-
“And I am… Ironman.”
Your eyes flicker awake, hazy, as Tony Stark snaps his fingers, killing himself alongside Thanos’ army in the process.
The TV's long been running on background noise, though not as ambient. Its characters now bickering between the rubble and ruins and being picked up for the end credits. In the dark of the screen, you see Hyeju had nodded off and slumped over the side of your body. A new year means new beginning means resolutions and diets and gym routines -
Maybe no sooner than the sun can come up, apparently.
You lean over to grab your phone from the table: 4:14 A.M.
There's a lot of things you want to say, even more you want to hear, but your mind has begun to settle a bit - a lazy and dreamy thing that fills you with this sort of, tired kind of - not sad, or empty - no, of course not. That's hardly fitting; not after tonight. You want to wrap this in an idealistic sort of sentiment - maybe hold Hyeju close and let the hour carry you and the comfort be enough to forgive whatever there is to miss: like the fact, it's still really dark, so dark even outside. The moon reflecting off the sheet of snow on the street. And not even a distant dog barking, or car driving by or someone playing loud music in the early hours of the new year.
As the film drifts off into another set of commercials, you slip into an easy sleep that feels effortless. Your head drops, landing on the cushion by the arm of the couch, where Hyeju's hand begins to slip mindlessly across your belly, tickling your waist and causing you to slightly squirm - things are cooling down, but still a little agitated.
"Don't tell me you're waking me up, cause I just -"
She kisses the pulse at your throat and answers, mumbling half-words into the spot below your ear. "A kiss for a new year."
And maybe the world doesn't owe you anything at all.
Maybe it just gave you more than enough.
#hyeju smut#loona smut#loona hyeju smut#loossemble smut#loossemble hyeju smut#olivia hye smut#loona olivia hye smut#kpop smut#male reader#capslocked kinkvember
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Ok actually one thing that really really bothers me about how widespread people are negatively reacting to the anime just for the fact that anime onlys are going to be in the fandom is like
This is going to make TWST so much more accessible
Like… not everyone can sit down for several hours and read a visual novel. It’s very time and focus intensive. Not everyone can read logs of the dialogue on wikis, either. There are several people who are unable to enjoy this story based solely on medium. A good example is my qpp; he loves TWST. He loves the story. He loves the characters. But he can’t get past Book 3 because the format is completely inaccessible to him. He’s tried. I’ve tried with him. He just… cannot do it. The novels are a godsend because it’s a way he can finally read the story in a format that works for him. The anime will also help a lot because he’ll be able to hear the voice acting, which is a very important part of TWST’s story telling.
Or even just in general, I don’t think I need to post about how I Like Horror, but I am unable to read anything longer than a short story. In particular, I am almost fully unable to read King because of how incompatible his writing style is- despite really wanting to. I have tried and failed to read Pet Sematery more times than I can count. The 80’s movie, though? I love it. It lets me experience a very important work to the genre in ways I would otherwise be completely unable to. Same with Misery.
Like… it’s super frustrating to see people advocate for story accessibility in things like video games, only to turn around and say “except for things I LIKE, they’ll get my favs wrong!!!” Especially when it’s in a fairly inaccessible medium.
I especially have a bone to pick with Idia fans I see on Twitter doing this. There’s a lot of fear “normies” will be ableist about their favorite cartoon character, while… in the process being extremely ableist to actual human beings. It’s extremely frustrating and upsetting to see people prioritize their (heavily mentally disabled, I might add) favorite fictional character over actual irl disabled people. I don’t think people, especially autistic people who can’t do VNs, should be limited from a beautiful story just because other people you can block Might Make Incel Jokes.
(My qpp? He’s autistic. And schizophrenic. And has CPTSD. He relates a LOT to Idia just from what I’ve told him about her and her arc.)
Like… get your fucking priorities straight. I was hyperfixated on Danganronpa when the DR1 anime came out. I was hyperfixated on Persona 4 when the P4 anime came out. Ace Attorney has been one of my absolute favorite series since middle school, and I was going through my obligatory hyperfixation phase I have every few years when the AA anime came out. I massively prefer the YuGiOh manga to the DM anime.
Anime onlys are EXTREMELY easy to avoid and are not the fucking end of the world.
Especially in a fandom with so many autistic people. Have some empathy for disabled people who have different symptoms than you do.
#this has been really bothering me as an Idia yume RAAAAAUGH not even getting into the convenient psychosis erasure everyone does with her.#Twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#i wish I could tag her like 4 times tbh#malleus draconia
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You are the best thing that's ever been mine - Part 1
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Ariel Cane (Original Character)
Summary: Sao Paulo 2024. The Dutchman delivered a defining drive…but maybe there is a relationship that could also use some defining.
Warnings: Jos Verstappen, angst, crying, mention of pregnancy, mention of sex and sexual acts, physical confrontation
Author Notes: Hi, hey, hello! Apparently I write F1 Fanfiction now?! Also this is the first time I am trying a social media au so my Canva Skills were put to the test. (Disclaimer: I kinda put legibility over authencity, so twitter doesn't look like twitter and messages looks like...something) Also huge thanks to @onebigfangirlworld and @leodette for holding my hand with this 😘)
Nothing was more dangerous than Max Verstappen when he had a point to prove.
Ariel Cane was very much aware of that.
That’s what she got for working with the man for 5 years.
Max Verstappen was a force to be reckoned with. He was known for his raw determination and relentless drive to win. And when he had a point to prove, he was practically unstoppable.
Max was a man who was always on top of his game when he had something to prove, and Ariel had firsthand experience of that after working with him for so long. She knew better than anyone what he was capable of when he was determined.
It was as if his already-ferocious drive to win kicked into hyperdrive.
The Brazilian Grand Prix was set to take place at the Autódromo José Carlos Pace…but Sao Paulo greeted the day with grey skies looming. The weather forecast promised a downpour.
For some drivers, rain could be a unwelcome disruption to the norm, but for Max… it seemed to only fuel his competitive fire.
Ariel was dreading it. Her stomach was churning if she only thought about the impending rain.
She knew all too well how Max thrived in wet conditions. The press had even dubbed him the rainmaster, but for Ariel…it was a nightmare.
Her brain conjured up one nightmarish scenario after the other. Anything could happen on a wet track, especially when the conditions were unpredictable, even when Max had always managed to shine in the rain.
Ariel had seen Max race in every condition, and he had always come out on top. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong today.
She could feel it somewhere deep in his bones.
Ariel kept her mouth shut though. This wasn’t something that she was going to tell Max. He had plenty of other things to worry about without adding her own unfound anxieties to the mix. He didn’t need her to distract him.
Max was a professional, and he had trained and prepared for this race just like he did for every other one.
He was capable of handling anything that came his way, even a wet track.
He knew what he was doing.
She repeated the words again and again in her own mind. Max knew what he was doing. Max was going to be just fine.
He was already in a focused state, trying to get in the zone for the race, pouring over the race data, analyzing every possible scenario. The intensity in his eyes was evident.
Still… Ariel’s anxiety was through the roof, her stomach churning… not helped by the fact that Jos Verstappen had shown up for race day.
She knew why. It had been Max’s longest non winning streak in years…
His father always managed to put Ariel on edge.
Mostly because Ariel fucking despised him.
Jos Verstappen had molded his son into the champion he was. But he also had been the shittiest father in existence during Max’s childhood.
Ariel knew too much about the toxic relationship between father and son.
Jos always seemed to push Max beyond his limits. And then Azriel was left to pick up the pieces afterwards.
Jos could be credited with helping to shape his son into the champion he had become, but there was no denying that he had been a terrible father while doing just that. He had imposed his own ambitions on Max, pushing him relentlessly to achieve success at all costs, and had been emotionally distant and aloof during his childhood.
Max had grown up in a home where perfection was expected and praise was minimal. He had developed a fierce determination and a steely focus that drove him to the top of his sport… but he also carried a deep-seated vulnerability and a constant need to prove himself.
And that vulnerability…that was what Jos knew how to exploit.
He would use every chance he got to put additional pressure on Max, reminding him of his failures and pushing him to do better, even if it hurt Max.
Jos Verstappen was a man who cared very deeply about his son's success, but he cared little for his happiness. He saw Max's professional success as a reflection of his own status and reputation, and he had a tendency to prioritize this above all else.
It was a toxic relationship at best, and a traumatic one at worst.
And Ariel hated him.
She had never hated a person as much as she hated Max’s father, but she hated him.
Ariel Cane hated Jos Verstappen. She was pretty sure it was mutual too.
It was probably because she had been Max’s choice and not his father’s.
Max had been the one she had met during her internship in Red Bulls PR department…and Max was the one who had offered her a job as his Personal Assistant out of the blue.
You are the best and I deserve the best, he had told her flatly. And that had been that. She would have been stupid not to accept the job offer. Especially with the salary it came with.
That decision had not sat well with his father. And when Max had ignored his wishes and hired her anyway, it had only fueled Jos' animosity toward her.
She was an outsider, an unknown factor, and nothing that Jos could control. He saw his influence slip.
And Ariel knew that she could influence Max in a thousand different ways, simply by telling him her thoughts. He would take them into consideration, they both knew that. Jos saw her as a threat to his control and influence, and he had tried his best to undermine her since the day they met.
Max had never let him.
Max trusted Ariel’s insights more than anyone else’s, and he had always been vocal about that. This had only fueled Jos’s dislike for her, and he had made no secret out of his disapproval of their friendship.
Ariel never wanted to be the one to come between father and son.
But she was also never going to agree with Jos Verstappen about a single thing.
Her first priority was always going to be Max’s happiness. Everything else came a distant second to her.
He had already won 3 world championships. Did he deserve another 10 of them as far as she was concerned? Yes. Would she be happy for him if he decided to give up racing tomorrow and become a full time cat dad to Sassy and Jimmy? Also yes.
As long as racing made him happy she would always support his strive to success. But she was never going to use his vulnerabilities to push him to the brink and that was seemingly everything his father did.
Maybe he knew that. Maybe that was why their friendship had grown stronger with time.
They trusted each other implicitly, and with that came a level of honesty and intimacy that Max’s father could never understand or appreciate. As Max and Ariel's bond grew stronger, it only seemed to enrage Jos even more. He saw his influence over his son slowly slipping away, replaced by trust and loyalty that he could never have anticipated.
“Are you alright? You look pale.”
Max's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she blinked, realising she had been lost in her reflections. She turned to look at him, noticing the slight concern in his blue, blue eyes.
“I am a redhead,” she deadpanned. Her skin was always pale. Pale and freckled.
But Max knew her so well. Too well sometimes.
She knew that he wasn’t going to go for it. And she was right.
"That's not what I meant," he said, frowning slightly. "You looked like you were about to throw up or something."
She had been feeling pretty nauseous all morning, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.
Ariel was pretty sure that something had been wrong with her dinner last night to be honest… it was probably a case of light food poisoning or something.
But quite frankly, as long as she wasn’t keeling over dead, there was no way that she was going to leave Max alone with his father at this race right now.
"I'm fine," she assured him, forcing a smile. "Just a bit tired, that's all. Good luck,” she told him. “But you won’t need it.”
He snorted. “I am starting from P17. I need all the luck I can get,” Max responded, brushing a hand through his blonde hair.
"You don't need luck," she said, rolling her eyes at his comment. "You're Max Verstappen. You make your own luck."
Max smirked at her words, a flicker of his usual confidence flashing in his eyes. "Damn right, I do."
She managed a smile for him, watching as last minutes preparation were made, before Max settled into his car for the race.
Ariel couldn’t help herself as her fingers went to the small lion pendant she always wore around her neck.
That necklace…It was her lucky charm, a gift from Max himself.
A lion. Because the name Ariel meant lion.
In Ariel’s mind, it had never been for that. Instead the charm stood for the Dutch Lion himself. For Max. The Dutch Lion, the one who ruled the racing world with his talent and drive.
The race started.
It was a chaotic start, with cars moving all over the field. Max had a lot of ground to cover, starting from P17, and she knew it would take a lot of skill and determination to get him up into the top positions.
Despite the chaos of the race, Max always seemed to be in complete control, navigating the field with ease. He was so skilled, and yet the risks he was taking…it was hard to watch without any concern.
In 10 laps he had already moved up 10 places.
And then… the rain started.
Instantly, the racing conditions changed dramatically. The water on the track made it slippery and dangerous, and the visibility dropped significantly. Azriel’s heart was in her throat, and her stomach was roiling with nausea.
Bile was rising in her throat and she went through her bag, searching for the peppermints she kept in there.
“You good?” Connor, one of the engineers asked her. He was watching her with a concerned expression on his face.
“I’m fine,” Azriel assured him, although her voice was strained. “Just nauseous.”
As the race continued in the pouring rain, Ariel felt her nausea worsen. She was struggling to keep herself together, and every time there was a close call or a risky maneuver, her stomach clenched in anxiety.
Connor noticed the way she was holding her stomach and the pale look on her face, and he leaned in closer to her. “You don’t look fine,” he said, his voice firm. “You should go to the medic. Percy is going to have my head if he finds out otherwise.“
Percy. Her older brother. He was the oldest of the three Cane siblings. Three years older than Ariel. And then there was Emma, the youngest. 5 years younger than Ariel, 8 years younger than Percy.
When their father had died 10 years ago, Ariel had been 18, Percy had been 21…and Emma had just been 13. It had come just 5 years after they had lost their mother. To this day, Ariel still thought that their father had died from a broken heart.
Percy had been right at the tail end of his first PhD… he had returned to Milton Keynes and started working for Redbull as an electrical Engineer. Ariel had gone to the University of Bedfordshire so she could stay near home…and somehow together, Percy and Ariel had managed to raise their little sister into a functioning member of society.
Ariel couldn’t help but quirk up a corner of her lip at Connor’s mention of her brother. “Nah, he’ll forget all about it as soon as he has a new project,” she quipped.
Percy was the genius of them. And genius and madness were occasionally quite close together.
Connor smirked, used to her sense of humor. “Not a chance. That man is smart enough to multitask.”
Also smart enough to ruin somebody’s life, and do engineering tasks that absolutely baffled her and most of the world’s population… but also definitely not smart enough to pick up on the fact that Connor had been flirting with him for the better part of three years.
Ariel was close to get Emma to help her hold their brother down to get him to listen to them.
Then Connor’s expression grew more serious. “Seriously, though, you don’t look too good. Go to the medic.”
Ariel rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but feel touched by his concern. "I am fine," she insisted. "It's just some nausea."
She should have fucking kept her mouth shut. If she had known what kind of drama she would absolutely kick loose with that comment, she would have shut up.
The next thing Ariel knew, she had a bloody furious Jos Verstappen in front of her, appearing out of nowhere, barging into their conversation with a look of pure disgust on his face.
"Did he knock you up?" Jos demanded.
Ariel could just stare at him, her mouth open.
What?
There was a shocked silence as Jos' words rang out in the garage. Everyone in the vicinity froze, staring at the Dutchman with wide eyes. Nobody was expecting that.
Least of all Ariel.
Of course, there had been plenty of speculation and some people outright asking her or Max if they were a couple over the years, but the answer had always been a resounding no.
They were working together…they were friends. Neither of them had ever..crossed that particular line.
She had never even allowed herself to think about it either.
But nobody had ever accused her off…this.
Ariel was just… stunned.
Ariel’s mind raced, trying to comprehend what he had just asked. It sounded so absurd, so out of left field, that she couldn’t help but stare at him in disbelief.
Quite frankly, her job kept her too busy for a relationship and the last time she had had sex had been… what, a year ago? She definitely was not pregnant.
And she also definitely was not pregnant with Max’s baby.
Jos Verstappen stood in front of her, his face etched with anger.
“Did he knock you up?” He repeated himself.
Ariel could only gape at him, her mind refusing to process what he was asking. “Excuse me?” she managed to croak out.
Jos loomed over her, his eyes narrowing. "You heard me," he growled. "Did Max knock you up?"
Jos stepped closer to her, invading her personal space. "You're nauseous," he said, his voice sharp. "In the morning. I knew that my son is a useless idiot, but this takes the cake," Jos seethed.
Jos' harsh words cut through the air like a knife, each syllable dripping with contempt. The anger in his voice was palpable as he continued his tirade.
"He couldn't just focus on racing and his career," he spat. "No. He had to go and knock up the PA. I shouldn't have expected any different from you either."
He took a step closer, invading her personal space even further.
"You," he sneered. "You're just as much to blame in this mess. You're supposed to be his minder, keep him focused on racing, and what do you do? You go and throw yourself at him. I knew you were a bad influence from the start!"
The words stung like a slap, and she could feel her cheeks burning.
"Don’t try to deny it," he spat. "I saw the way you two look at each other, I know it’s been going on for a while. You’re nothing but a distraction, a waste of his time and talent. What was it, the glory of throwing yourself at a 3-time world champion? Or was it the money? You are a gold-digging whore!"
It wasn't funny. It really wasn't funny. But it was so utterly ridiculous...that the laugh burst out of her mouth before Ariel could stop it.
He slapped her.
The blow left her reeling, both physically and emotionally. She stumbled back a step, tears blurring her vision as the pain and shock coursed through her.
For a moment everybody was frozen, everybody watching the scene in front of them with a mix of horror and disbelief.
Her cheek throbbed.
The nausea won. She vomited, all over his shoes.
The retching sound echoed through the garage as she doubled over, the contents of her stomach emptying onto the pristine floor.
But somehow that unfroze everybody. Connor grabbed Jos and dragged him away from her harshly.
"What the hell is wrong with you, man?!” Connor snapped. His voice was filled with anger, and he was practically shaking with fury.
Meanwhile, Bennett, one of the mechanics, rushed to her side. He was as white as a sheet, but his voice was steady as he put a protective arm around her shoulders.
“Ariel, are you alright?” he asked her, gently.
"I'm..." she started to say, but another wave of nausea swept through her. She doubled over again, her body heaving in the aftermath.
Meanwhile in the front, absolute chaos had erupted. She could hear Connor facing off against Jos, and then Christian's loud voice and…
"...get out of here, right now. Don’t even fucking look back." Christian finished firmly.
"You're making a mistake," Jos countered, his voice filled with anger. "This girl is a distraction, a waste of Max's time and talent. I saw it from the start-"
But his words were cut off by a sharp gesture from Christian.
"I don't care," he snapped. "You just laid your hands on a staff member. You just laid your hands on Ariel! If Max was here right now, we would probably need to carry you out of here on a fucking stretcher!” Jos glared at Christian, but the team principal wasn't backing down.
"You just fucked up big time. You're out," he continued, his voice cold. "You're no longer welcome here. Get your stuff and get the hell out."
For a moment, it looked like Jos was going to argue, to snap back at Christian and continue the argument. But then he seemed to realize the futility of it all. With a sneer, he turned on his heel and stalked off, leaving the garage in shocked silence.
"Jesus Christ," Connor breathed, as he came back to her side. "Ariel, are you alright? Let’s get you to the medic."
She could only nod weakly, the nausea slowly subsiding but the pain in her cheek throbbing.
"No, no, everything is fine. Something just fell down," she could hear GP's voice through the whole tumult.
Talking to Max. Who was in the middle of a bloody race.
And who must at least have caught some of the screaming going on.
Next Part
#max verstappen fanfiction#formula 1#max verstappen#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 fanfiction#max verstappen fluff#mv1 fanfiction#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fake instagram#f1 smau#max verstappen social media au
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thinking about messing with ino! while he’s in the middle of a video game; he has been playing on that stupid game for what feels like hours and even though he’ll ask you every 10 minutes or so, “baby, are you okay?” “princess, do you need anything?” etc etc, you were still annoyed on how his video game had more of his attention than you.
so, when you finally got fed up and bored of lying on his bed scrolling mindlessly on tiktok, pinterest, instagram, and twitter on rotation for what feels like eons, you set your phone down and with a mischievous grin, walked over to him in his gaming chair and got on your knees. “whatcha doin’ pretty baby?” he asked with his eyes still glued to the screen, “oh, nothing… don’t mind me, just go back to playing your game ‘kay?” you looked up at him with a innocent smile. but in your head, you were thinking about how you were going to punish him for giving his attention to a stupid game on a tv than you being right in front of him and in his presence.
you started caressing at the bulge in his grey sweatpants and his breath hitched. ino was trying really hard to lock in and focus on getting his victory royale but he also wanted to just throw his controller across the room & watch you take him. “what’s wrong baby? thought you were too focused on your game? hm?” giving him a playful smile as you pull his length out of his sweatpants, pumping it a few times before pressing a kiss to his swollen tip already oozing with pre. "I- I am baby.." he exhaled as you felt him melt into your touch. you licked along the vein trailing down his cock slowly before enveloping him with your soft lips. he let out a low whine as you slowly take him whole. he didn't realize his character in game was dying over and over from being shot at because it wasn't moving until you stopped to look up at him with doe eyes and glossy lips, "focus.." you purred. "your game isn't going to win itself now is it?" he snapped out of his daze to focus on his game again, "y-yeah, you're right" he stuttered with flushed cheeks. you went back to stroking him again with delicate hands and your pretty mouth.
"f-fuuck mama, you f-feel so good" ino moaning as your head goes up and down him and gently playing with his balls overstimming him as he tries to concentrate on winning his game. teasing him, you trail a few kisses up and down his length as you murmured against him, "I'm sure I do..." still leaving kisses. "too bad you don't give your poor little girlfriend the same amount of attention as your silly little game."
whimpering, he starts to profusely apologize, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby, I'll get off the game and give you all my attention, I p-promise, you're making me feel so good, I-"
you interrupt him. "win this game for me and I'll let you be a good boy and cum down my throat" tapping his tip onto your pink, glossy pout with a pretend thinking face.
his eyes light up like a kid in a candy store and starts spamming all types of buttons on his controller eager to win this game as you continue to bobble down his cock, drool spilling from the sides of your lips and getting so sloppy that you can practically blow bubbles on him.
VICTORY ROYALE!! pops up and takes over the screen of the tv and he starts blabbering as he starts thrusting himself into your mouth, "baby baby baby baby can I- mmph.. can I c-cum please, please can I cum?" he throws the controller to the other side of the room and starts gripping onto the armrests of the game chair until his knuckles started turning white. "c'mon you nerd," you looked at him with lust in your eyes, "give it to me." as you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out for him to release his load down your throat.
"thankyouthankyouthankyou" he rambled as you milked him for all he had. "learned your lesson? you goof." you laughed.
"yes. yes i did." getting up from the chair and kicking the rest of his sweats off and throwing them to the side to lean down and pick you up princess style and laying you down in the bed.
"now i'm going to make it up to you, your highness" kissing your hand teasingly and sliding your shorts off.
likes + reblogs appreciated <3 please don't steal/copy/modify my works!
#gojoscinnamonroll ᡣ𐭩₊˚.⋆⁺₊#ino takuma smut#ino smut#jjk ino smut#jjk ino#jjk smut#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#ino x reader#takuma ino#ino takuma#ino x you#ino takuma x you#ino takuma x reader#takuma ino smut#takuma ino x reader#takuma ino x you#border by cafekitsune
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