#so far this is the only way to get prints bc i have no idea if folk would like those SO

[jaw-bones]

✨🌿 top of the month mention of my patreon! 🌿✨

🖤 — you can get access to high res versions of my work, receive monthly postcard print(s), discord benefits, 18+ content, monthly suggestions, early notice of comms, and a peek at the worldbuilding behind The Hive~

— & I do have an open discord for my art, peeks of what i'm working on, and Hive worldbuilding~

🔗 to both patreon & my discord server can be found at my carrd ! ✨

[lonelysheepling]

Recently read @queenofthequillandink ’s DPxDC crossover fic Unearthed, Reborn

I got inspired to draw character sheets for Danny, Sam, Jason, and Jazz’s vigilante personas. Here’s a link to the author’s drawings of their outfits (these were a vital reference for me when doing this so thank you so much for sharing them Quill) More commentary (like 7+ paragraphs plus 2 images) about this project and the designs below the “keep reading” line.

None of these thoughts I have for each character are in order, but I have a lot of commentary for these since this project was a lot more conceptual than my normal work. I also just like talking about my art/design process. If you ever find yourself wondering at some point why an element from the original design wasn’t included, the answer is that the removal was completely intentional and part of my grandmaster vision for this work and wasn’t because I just forgot about it entirely during the design process.

————————————————————————

Aconite (Sam)

This was the first one I sketched out, I wasn’t even sure at the time if I was going to fully commit to drawing all of them. I thought that Sam was gonna be the hardest since her description was way longer than the others, but then bird boy beat her out. I took a lot of creative liberties with her design, the bag was added bc I couldn’t figure out how to add pockets to the skirt. I was trying to avoid a joker color scheme so I had a lot of ref images that I got by searching like “purple green aesthetic” on Pinterest. The dark purple and dark forest/blueish green won out in the end. I desaturated a lot of my colors for her just to get as far away from the neon Gotham rogue aesthetic. I also added the bdsm harness over the armor to add more punk elements to her design, I know that in real life that would be very uncomfortable to wear over scalemail armor but sometimes we take creative liberties when they look sick as fuck. Also, I didn’t realize until I went to look for a reference for aconite flowers that aconite is wolfsbane! That was neat to learn! Also, the font I used for Aconite is called “zai Art School Calendar 1931”, I’ve used this a few times for other projects, it’s one of my favorite fonts. The ‘zai’ fonts the creator has are all very good.

Shade (Danny)

There wasn't much to add to this page. His outfit is pretty simple (besides the patterning). I wasn’t sure how to pull of an optical illusion pattern but I was reminded how I sometimes get an eyestrain induced headache when looking at someone wearing a patterned shirt with really thin stripes so I just leaned into the idea of a small/detailed hard lined pattern. I originally made 5 separate patterns for him and then turned them into stamp brushes in procreate. I only ended up using three of them, the one on the chest, the one on the legs, and the one on his hand. But, I imagine the patterns fade and shift when he moves, sort of like a lenticular print. I gave him constellation freckles and stylized the hair’s fade into white. The hair was inspired by how time-woods draws Martin Blackwood’s hair (linked: time-woods’s fanart of Martin Blackwood). Also put way too much effort into the teeth on the mask. I just like the chunky teeth design. Oh yeah and the font I used for him is called “Typewriter_Condensed_Demi”

Erinys (Jason)

Repeatedly ran into the issue of not having enough canvas space bc of my fervent need to thoroughly document and plan out how the wings worked. I also reversed the colors for the bodysuit & armor so the under layer was black while the armor plates were red. I only realized afterwards that I may have been inspired by the red centipedes in Rain World (linked: gif of the red centipede, don’t click the link if you’re unsettled/afraid of bugs/insects), artists subconsciously draw inspiration from other artists all the time though so I’m not like upset about it. I stand by it because it looks sick as hell. Also leaned into the magpie theming for the wings. I think the vigilante form was supposed to be reverse magpie coloring? I can’t remember, but I stuck with normal magpie coloring. The anatomy of how the wings connected to the collarbone was inspired by JayEaton’s Magpie Bridge Project. Reference image link. Link to the article the image is from. I didn’t draw the wing armor because I couldn’t figure out how to would work with the wing anatomy and I ran out of canvas space. Finally, the font used for him is “DIN Condensed” this is a default font, I would’ve used something more punk but I needed the text to be legible.

Insight (Jazz)

I did Jazz after I’d already finished the initial trio, so I had to switch to a new canvas for her bc I’d hit the layer limit multiple times on the previous one. I really do love doing that spiked under-eyelash thing with characters. Don’t know when that started. Anyway, I added the shoulder pads to her outfit to help break up the empty space. The golden eyes were a nice accent color since her design is very overwhelmingly green. Honestly the braid hairstyle and gold eyes really do obscure her identity, multiple times when drawing her I was worried that she didn’t really resemble Jazz enough. There wasn’t a drawing from the author for her so I only had the text description to go off of. I just realized that she sort of reminds me of a forest ranger and I don’t know what to do with that realization. I copy/pasted my drawing of her eyes when gold and recolored them to match her normal eye color. There were two layers for that, a hue shift and a hard light layer to emphasize the shadows.

Here’s what it looks like without the hue shift: 

It looks really cool and I’m 100% that color combo in another drawing down the line. Oh yeah and the font used for this sheet was “Euphemia UCAS”. It comes with Apple’s operating system, I use it as a neutral default text most of the time bc it’s nicer than helvetica but not overly fancy like Times New Roman—and why am I talking about fonts. ——————————————————————— Anyway, this project was very fun to work on. The alt text for this was its own endeavor, hope the folks using screen-readers don’t mind 4-5 paragraphs of description text. Also, I cannot remember for the life of me if Dani got a costume description, but if she does I’ll make sure to update this image set with a sheet for her. And to the author, QueenOfTheQuill, if you’re reading this message that I’ve left at the very bottom of this post below a read more line, thank you for the fic. It’s very good and I’m glad I caught it during my slow decent into DPxDC brainrot. I love the interactions between Jason and Tim, it’s nice seeing a revived Jason that’s not bogged down by pit rage. They definitely seem like they could’ve been good friends if not for the unfortunate circumstances that led them to meet in canon. Also, I’m sure Jazz will love interacting with Batman and Nightwing. So much psychological & childhood trauma to unpack with them. Feel free to use/share these images if you so desire and thanks again for your work.

[u3pxx]

💛🕊️ Five times Aziraphale gave Crowley a gift plus one time Crowley gave a gift in return.

DID YOU KNOW THAT @contritecactite, once again, wrote a VERY GOOD fic about my bad omens spouses??? and it's so wonderfully GOOD???!?!?!!

anywhooo, a very big special thanks again to elle for writing this! it's been just a real treat talking to them and the klapollomb gomens s2 support group about bad omens 🥺 i'm really, really thankful that y'all decided to indulge me and my freakingg swap au wheezes <33

i'm gonna cut myself off here and ramble more under keep reading :0]

like these drawings? they're prints, here! | like what i do? support me on ko-fi!

seeing this get written was an experience! one of the things keeping me alive during prelim exams LOL if i remember correctly, this kind of started bc i was curious if bomens zira would actually have, i guess, a real demon equivalent the way shax (stork), beelzebub (fly), and furfur (deer) do. so i looked up the words 'crow demon' and whaddya know!

a crow demon!! and what's that? "cause Love"?

what a perfect fit for demon!aziraphale! and really, i was only messing around the first time i had the idea of "haha lol wouldn't it be funny if demon aziraphale was a crow", and then bam! all of it started to, surprisingly, fit well together pfttt (special thanks to bepo for being the one to piece it all together wheezes <33) (also, just really thank you all for bouncing ideas with me, it really does make me happy dfgdhjd <3333)

and then elle wrote a little snippet at first (IIRC) and then he just feakign!!!!!!! WOAGH!!!!!!! just, tasty delicious words, a fic that made me kick my feet like i was a schoolgirl while reading the whole thing ASKSKS <333

i'm really happy with all the spot art i drew for this! wanted it to look very uhhh, i wouldn't say storybook, but watercolor illustrations were definitely a huge inspiration! i wanted them to feel as nice and cozy as YOU would feel while reading elle's fic <3

i do gotta thank elle again for making these two fem-presenting when they were at the dowlings' bc then i get to draw butch gardener crowley. do you know how much that means to me? do you know do you do y do you know how m how much that how m b butches butches butches .

and a little bonus, one where crowley did not want to pose for the painting PFTT

i am once again putting the link here if you've scrolled this far down without reading it yet, go! go! go!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!!! <3333

[imasoftieforbarb]

hey there! you kinda have seen me already by freaking out about Floyd he’s actually is what I wanted to request!

if it’s possible, could you write a little fic on how reader could be when they (pronouns are your opinion) found out about floyd being captured? OR HEAR ME OUT PLS—

reader is Floyd‘s partner (girlfriend/boyfriend, again your opinion) BUT was captured WITH him, bc all the time I was watching the movie I imagined them being with Floyd since young and bc of cliché drama I love *cries*

again it’s your option on doing it or not !!

I LOVE THIS IDEA! Okokokokok

You were childhood best friends- and when he joined the band? You became their manager!

You wanted to support him and you didn’t want to interrupt the whole boys only band so you went with next best thing!

After the failed show you try to keep everyone from leaving

JD tells you to move, and shoves you out the way when you try to block the door

Clay just shakes his head and leaves

Spruce lays a hand on your shoulder and whispers “look after them for me”

At first Floyd tries to leave without you- after giving Branch his vest, he asks you to look after him

You nodded- but the minute he was out of sight you started crying

“What are you waiting for girl? Go get him!”

Grandma tells you she’ll be fine looking after branch on her own so you run off after Floyd

“FLOYD! FLOYD WAIT!” You shouted, seeing his figure turn around, his eyes widening when he saw you running towards him.

“Y/n? What are you doing? I thought you were gonna look after Branch”- he started to say before he saw your tears

“Im not gonna watch the boy I have loves since who knows when walk out the door without him knowing how I feel” you panted taking his hand in yours and meeting his eyes shyly “we could be so good together, we can make this last forever!”

Floyd blinked a few times before laughing slightly “wow! I never thought that you’d like me- I mean I’m not the heart throb or the fun one”

You interrupted “I don’t like them! I like you! A lot”

“I like you a lot too-you sure you wanna come with me?”

You nodded and he grinned, intertwining your fingers and starting to walk away from the pod together, hand in hand as you talked about the future

Ok now- I’m gonna mix ideas here

Let’s say when he got captured you were still with him but not present at the time

So when you got back to the pod you and your long term boyfriend had made to see it wrecked with big foot prints leading away from it

You immediately assumed he’d been eaten by a Burgan

Absolutely heartbroken you fixed the pod back up on your own and fell into a grieving depression

Everywhere you looked you saw memories of him

And then far into the future one day- you get a letter

Supposedly from your dead boyfriend!

You- despite thinking that he was dead- were desperate to see him again, and if that lead to your death then so be it!

You got in your catterbug van called Chloe and head straight for the ‘mount rageous’ that the letter had specified

Once you got to the place this “Velvet and Veneer” we’re singing at you snuck in and noticed the dressing room door open a smidge

You peaked in slightly and felt your eyes water

There he was- Floyd was alive! You couldn’t believe it- you took a few steps back to grasp what you were seeing before a bumping into something.

You looked up and Veneer looked down at you before snatching you up and laughing slightly

“Wow! Another troll? I wonder which one you are? Either way- more talent for us I suppose!” Veneer muttered before entering the dressing room

Floyd looked up from his crossed legs as one of his captors Veneer walked into the room with something in his hand

He had been thinking of you- he always thought about you- between the torture of having his talent drained he dreamed of being back in your shared pod- in your arms

He startled from his thoughts as another diamond perfume bottle was slammed down onto the counter next to him, and felt his heart drop and eyes water when he noticed who was in it

Floyd waited for veneer to leave the room- probably to go get velvet to tell her the good news of having another troll to drain before standing up and pressing his hands to the wall of his prison

“Y-Y/n? Is- is that you?”

You nodded, already crying your eyes out just from looking at him

“What are you doing here? You shouldn’t have come- they’re gonna drain you-“

He stopped when he noticed your tears streaming down your face and had a déjà-vu moment of when you first told him you liked him

“I thought you were dead”

You whispered, dropping to your knees-

“There’s no way I would pass up a way to see you- I love you!” You pressed your hands against the diamond as well and he felt his eyes well with tears

“I love you too-“

Velvet came storming into the room and cackled when she saw your face fill with fear

“Oh- you are gonna be mine!” She said grasping the bottle and starting to walk back out

“NO!” Floyd shouted “not her, drain me first-“

Velvet sneered slightly

“Seeing as you’ve said that- no, I’m gonna drain her, veneer can have you. I want a newer talent”

She left the dressing room and the door slammed shut on Floyd- his tears finally falling

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

AAAAAA- should I do a part 2 taking place during the family harmony at the end of the movie? Let me know what you think!

[arnaerr]

2024 summary

Each year, I want to write some kind of summary, but each year, I get too overwhelmed with the holidays season to do so. This time, I came prepared, so I wrote this text a bit earlier bc I knew that by now I will be a sleepy shrimp.

2024 was one of the toughest years for me, if not the hardest one so far. Dealing with the lay-off and long term unemployment took a hard toll on me and my mental health, but I'm still here despite it all, and I'm still creating. Really happy that I finally managed to find a job and can finally rest from grinding portfolio work and fighting for my life. Somehow this year turned out to be the most productive too. Something-something, strong emotions (even negative ones) are the best fuel for the inspiration.

This year, I focused more on my brushwork so I can bring my ideas to reality faster and avoid hurting my hand more - and I'm quite satisfied with the results, my hand's pain is almost inexistent at this point. Dance classes, crochet, and playing Elden Ring with the controller also helped to gently strengthen my hands so they are better at handling painting for a longer time now. I also tried to make my works more complex and thought through in general, focused more on the storytelling aspect and more interesting composition decisions. Really liked playing around with this stuff and can't wait to experiment even more. For a long time, I thought that my art has value only if it's being realistic and generic in terms of the game industry style. It took me a long time to acknowledge and accept this, as well as the fact how my painting style is a reflection of myself; I'm quite timid and shy in nature, and it also applied to my painting approach, I was always afraid to do bold brushstrokes, going wild with colours, showing my feelings through my art, expressing myself openly. And I feel like this year, I learned to be not afraid of who I am, not to try to hide my impressionistic approach to the painting behind smooth and "proper" brushwork. I'm not trying to fit into the standard anymore; sure, it would make my life easier in terms of finding an art job quicker and being more popular on social media if I had a more generic art style. But it feels so much better to allow myself to be who I am.

Elden Ring obsession was like the breath of the fresh air. For the several times this year, I was so, so close to having a severe art block, to losing myself in commissions & portfolio work, to losing the wonder the act of creation gives me. Elden Ring made me feel very inspired, gave me the courage to try to draw many things I was afraid to draw before; I really enjoy being a part of this fan community, and I've met so many wonderful and talented people throughout last months that it constantly fuels my inspiration; artists, writers, cosplayers, lore enthusiasts. In the last couple of years, I approach my social media profiles like a personal blog of sorts, not focusing on the painting only. And I really enjoyed sharing different sides of my hobbies with you, writing mini essays with the game analysis, and discussing it all in comments in DMs.

I couldn't survive this year without your support, and I'm forever grateful. Every like, reshare, and comment brightens my day. Special thanks to the people who bought my prints, donated, or joined my Patreon - you literally saved me. The fact that I had to rely on social media as the main source of income for so long did some damage to the ways how I view my own art, sometimes I feel too sensitive about numbers and algorithms and start to view my art as a content that has to be popular - I'm slowly but surely try to go away from this and to reconnect with my art once again; I want my art to be even more personal and detached from the popular needs; I need to get weirder.

Sometimes it feels surreal that so many people are interested in me and what I do.

Hoping for gentler times in 2025. Thank you

[sorrinslays]

More about the Belobog Roleswap AU

So, I decided to make this post because of @lesbianbootheng. Specifically, their reblog right here:

#hsr#role swap au#op i hope u know much i enjoy those aus and the fact u made one is So Cool to me#pls tell me u have more ideas bc dude? i’d love to hear em#and i hope ur comfy w/ me adding some ideas myself bc this sounds soo fucking cool dude like wtf#love the idea of clara and hook being assistants to the silvermane guards that’s so cool <3 it fits them surprisingly well#ALSO THE FUCKING NERD PELA BEING PART OF THE FIGBT CLUB?? idk that’s so funny to me idk why LMFAO#oleg being luka’s father is rlly cute i love that <3 my HEARTT#also svorg being slowly being aaprt of the landau family by serval fixing him and they start to consider each other as the other loved ones#serval is still a musician i hope she’d just be one of those underground artists (literally haha)#also love the fact cocolia/serval r a thing in this au that makes me so happy u don’t understand :3#their yuri is NOT doomed after all :3#also… bc this is a roleswap au imagine bronya as the new supreme guardian… can u see it?#how do u think she’d act as leader?#sampo + bronya would DEF need to reign her in haha#also. do u think geppie sees sampo interacting w/ hook/clara & thinks of lynx & wants to sob when he’s separated#bc I DO. i so fucking do

So here's some more insight on the lives of the characters!

Gepard

He has this rule he set for himself that he doesn't steal from the less fortunate, guards and children. Those he does frequently steal from are nobles and since he used to be one (technically still is) he knows the obsolete worst ones. Sometimes, when he learns something particularly bad, he leaves an "anonymous" tip in Sampo's office.

He tried to grow a side business out of selling flowers. Since he's not a guard he has way more time to actually engage in his hobby, unlike his OG counterpart, he can actually keep a plant alive. However the business sadly didn't end up working out.

He does have "disguises" so he can get groceries without being chased around, although they are all kind of terrible. He doesn't know jackshit about makeup so he relies on hiding his face instead (hats, masks, sunglasses and the like). Almost all of Belobog knows this but they just kinda don't bother him cause the disguise is so bad it's sad.

Whenever Clara and Hook see Gepard in his "disguise" they try to get Sampo to arrest him cause "it's literally the guy you chase everyday, he's right here, just get him!!!!!" only for Sampo to pretend not to recognize him. Gepard goes through all five stages of grief whenever this happens.

He has accidently bumped into Luka sneaking into the restricted zone on numerous occasions and both kept it secret. They have even fought together in secret.

There are rumours of the "Phantom Shielder" amongst the guards, which is just Gepard. He keeps trying to help in the snow plains, since he feels guilty for adding to the workload of the guards by committing crimes. He believes it to the least he could do.

He is a supplier of automaton parts and the like for Oleg. Luka has a sneaking suspicion that's the case but since it's Gepard's most legitimate business venture, he doesn't bother reporting it. Oleg is, like, the closest thing Gepard has to a father figure.

Sampo

As the Captain, he rarely has time to relax alone and anytime he does have the time he spends it in the far away snow plains looking for medicine for Cocolia. He sneaks away when he's supposed to be doing paperwork. Or he "loses track of time and stays on patrol for longer periods".

He has made deals with pharmacists all around Belobog, asking for "defect medicine" that cannot be sold to the public (because of such things as a wrongly colored bottle, wrong print, a small cracks etc.). Basically, he collects it without telling the pharmacists where it actually goes. They don't really question him and he brings it to Cocolia.

He has a house near the restricted zone, not because he wants to be "closer to the actions" as he tells people, but so that he can have more alone time. You need a good reason to be anywhere near the restricted zone or you have to sneak in, so his apartment is like a safe haven to him.

He doesn't have any tells when lying, contrary to popular belief. He has fake ones that he uses to trick Natasha. She believes him to be a bad liar because of this.

Anytime he has free time (which is not all that often) he is surrounded by children anywhere he goes. If you hear manic giggling across the streets you know Sampo has a day off. He will have at least two kids around him at all times and the parents have to practically peel them away from him.

Sometimes, whenever he spots Hook bothering Gepard while he's "in his disguise" he walks over and chats with Gepard just to fuck with him. It's incredibly entertaining watching the poor guy squirm as his voice cracks in ten different ways.

He actually knows if Luka sneaked in and disguised himself as a guard because there's a standard hair length soldiers in the restricted zone have to have that Luka does not follow. He never mentions it, just let's him do whatever since he believes Luka to be capable enough. He does like ordering him around just to fuck with him, seeing Luka flinch and do anything without making a sound or "deepening his voice" so that Sampo "doesn't recognize him" is very funny to him.

Luka

As much as he hates paperwork, he's infuriatingly good at it. So he's probably staying an intelligence officer for a long while. Seele told him as much after a meeting with Natasha. He had begged Seele to bring up his situation, arguing that he's healed now and can go back to the front lines. Seele, true to her word, did mention him, but Natasha shout down any conversation about him, stating he's "too useful as an intelligence officer".

He used to have a small crush on Sampo. He was impressed by his fighting and was asking the Captain for a spar for weeks before the other agreed. It's still unknown if he still harbors that crush. The crush doesn't necessary have to romantic, it's honestly up for interpretation.

He attends every funeral, celebration and memorial held in honor of the Silvermane Guards. It's based on respect but also a little bit of guilt on his part. He believes that if he hadn't lost his arm, he would've still been in the front lines and he could've stopped some of the death that happened in the snow plains.

Whenever he is cooped up in his office for long periods of times, Clara and Hook are tasked (by Sampo, as their "superior") to get him out. Usually, they steal an important document and have him chase them all over the city. By the time he gets back, the day is over and he is ordered to go home and rest.

During his days off, he helps Oleg around the workshop. Oleg has tried to reassure Luka many times before that he doesn't need to keep helping, although all of them were in vain.

He has tried getting new hobbies to distract himself, and one that he enjoyed more than he thought he would was crocheting and knitting. He made matching scarfs for Clara and Hook and Seele called him a granny. He challenged her to a spar after that (he lost).

Whenever Luka and Gepard sneak into the snow plains together, they get into "competitions". Basically, they try to kill more fragmentum than the other. Usually, it's a tie or one of them winning by a small precent (like one or two more kills).

Natasha

Just like every other Supreme Guardian, she graduated in history. Although that's the case, she was always fascinated by human biology and the structure of the human body. She became even more interested after she met a man by the name of Vache, who told her he wanted to make a medicine specifically for people to be able to survive the bitter cold. After Cocolia banished Vache to the snow plains, Natasha brought him to Qlipoth Fort. He is still alive, even after the Astral Express' visit.

She really likes teddy bears, they used to be the only emotional support she had back when she was first selected to be the future Supreme Guardian. She had shared this information with Oleg, and since they used to be very close back in the academy, a lot of her stuffed toys were left at Oleg's place. So their absence during the Stellaron's manipulation helped her spiral quicker.

Vache lives in the lab of Qlipoth Fort and he is, basically, Stellaron 2.0. Since he also believes the Stellaron, he tries to pressure Natasha into following its plan. Natasha, isolated from any actually healthy influences, gives in and soon orders that result in more deaths than victories follow.

She and Oleg used to be very close, to the point that they even grew flowers together and used to babysit children together as a way to gain a little something something on the side. Whenever Luka reports to her, she asks about Oleg and how he's doing, every time she asks she has a wishful expression on her face.

Natasha was actually very suspicious of Sampo in the beginning, after all, before he joined the Silvermane Guards she hasn't heard a thing about him. She remained suspicious of him even after years, until the end of the Belobog arc. When he first made waves, she researched every little thing about him.

Oleg adopted Luka after his break up with Natasha, so when she first saw his last name she cried. She genuinely thought that she had missed a wedding or something.

Doctor handwriting. Even in another universe she couldn't escape the illegible doctor handwriting curse.

Seele

Used to go to the same elementary, middle and high school together with Luka. He was just a year or two younger than her. As a kid, she used to think he was okay, then during middle school she found him annoying and now it's a mix of two. However, he's probably the closest thing she has to a best friend and it's the person she trusts the most outside of Natasha.

She focuses a lot of her combat abilities. Since Natasha doesn't let her go on too many missions and she's not aware she's supposed to be the next Supreme Guardian (she is under the impression that she is just Natasha's adopted daughter) she doesn't think about the political situation or strategies all that much. She much prefers fighting the fragmentum.

Although technically she has a higher position than Sampo, whenever she gets overzealous during training or pushes herself too hard, she'll "be put in time out" by Sampo. Basically, she will be training and Hook and Clara pop out of nowhere, telling her how it's "time for a break, or else Sampo will put you in time out". She always tries to get out of it because she finds it stupid, but honestly dealing with Hook and Clara is a challenge in it of itself, so, unfortunately for her, Sampo's tactic works annoyingly well.

At first, she was struggling a lot in school, specifically with writing. When Natasha first caught wind of this, she sat down with Seele and they spent a whole evening just writing and Natasha helping Seele with school work.

For almost her whole life, Natasha and Oleg were together, so when Natasha turned distant and they broke up, she basically lost her parent. She visits Oleg's workshop every now and then, but they definitely aren't as close as they used to be. Now, unfortunately for her, the closest thing she has in her life that actively acts like a father figure is Sampo.

She regularly makes bets with soldiers in the front lines. Like, "oh, I bet Kyle can't headshot five fragmentum in a row". In general she is very friendly with them. Natasha is not a fan of that.

Luka asks her for a spar session almost any time he sees her. While it "annoys" her, she find comfort in the fact that she can tell him mood easily like that. She knows that if he's just fired up he gonna ask one or two times and if he feels bad for whatever reason, he's gonna be more persuasive.

Oleg

To him, the Neverwinter workshop was something that would've happened one way or another. He always knew that at some point he would own a workshop, however, what he didn't expect was how soon it would happen. He imagined opening it in his late forties - early fifties after passing his Stellaron research to a younger researcher. He never expected to have the nasty break up with Natasha and getting kicked out of the Silvermanes like that.

A side hobby he picked up after losing his job as a researcher was sketching. Whenever the workshop goes through a slow period with no customers or any work to do, people can find him outside, sketching whatever he sees.

When Luka lost his arm, he was devastated. He was so scared for his son he soot out Natasha, asking if she can find a better position for Luka that doesn't endanger him so much. Although he feels guilty for taking the choice from Luka, he also prefers feeling guilty with a son than feeling guilty without a son.

Back when Luka used to be in the frontlines, he wanted to meet his superior (Sampo) just to be sure that the Captain was capable. His first impression of Sampo wasn't a positive one, but after hearing about his achievements in battle, anecdotes from other guards, seeing Luka's admiration of him and seeing him around the street playing with the kids, he backed off.

He still misses Seele, even though technically she's not his kid. Even though that's the case, he still makes sure to prepare birthday gifts for her and congratulate her on any achievements.

He teaches Hook and Clara the basics of engineering. Every week he dedicates two hours for them. It's actually one of his favorite past times cause it livens up the place and reminds him of back when Luka and Seele used to be kids.

He still thinks about his research, specifically the Stellaron. He really wants to continue studying it and oftentimes thinks about it. He has a lot of theories about it but can't test any of them out.

Cocolia

She met Serval when the Landaus first moved to the Underground. While all the siblings have a positive opinion of her and they generally get along well, she and Serval clicked almost instantly. Serval helped her a lot with the orphanage, then with the clinic and finally with Wildfire.

Even though the Underground's atmosphere is pretty depressing, Cocolia tries her best make it more homey, warm and, in general, uplift the people. There's a reason why the people of the Underworld trust her with more than just medical issues.

One of her attempts to make the Underworld more welcoming was plants. Although most of them require sunlight, she got Sampo to look for ones that can survive without it. And just like that the Underworld is full of plants (as much as it can be). Unfortunately not all parts of the Underworld have a flourishing flora, the unlivable parts (thanks to the fragmentum) don't have any.

While she is a doctor and a healer is general, if it comes down to it, she can hold her own in battle. She uses a bass guitar when fighting, the one that in the original Serval broke during her companion quest.

She and Bronya have a very strong bond. They spend hours talking about different ways to optimize Wildfire. Serval helps with that too, either as the face of Wildfire or by suggesting ways to update equipment or create new weapons. Whenever Sampo is present, his input is asked as well, although he mostly helps with strategizing and ways to get rid of the fragmentum.

The hardest choice she had to make was exile Vache. She was conscious of his downward spiral when he started obsessing over blizzard immunity but the human experimentation was kept a secret from her until Lynx mentioned hearing something about it. Needless to say when she found out she was heartbroken.

She is well liked by all the children, and she always has some sort of candy on her desk. It's either for children who are being treated or, at the end of each day, the most behaved kid gets two.

Bronya

Although she didn't go to school, she knows the basics thanks to Cocolia and Serval. So now, her favorite hobby is reading. She has read as many books as she could get her hands on. Anytime she sees Sampo, she asks him to deliver her a book or two.

While she is part of Wildfire and she does fight against the fragmentum under Serval's command, whenever fragmentum activity is low, she is seen helping around Cocolia's clinic. While is mostly acts as a nurse following Cocolia's orders, she is still very skilled, to the point that other nurses sometimes call her "Cocolia 2.0".

She has learned the basics of engineering from Serval. It's a skill that comes in handy more often than not, from fixing up children's toys to helping fix equipment that was broken by the fragmentum.

The kids love her too. Whenever they get into trouble the first person they go to is Bronya due to her "not being an adult" (she is, she is just the youngest one working in the clinic so they assume she's still a teenager).

She has heard a lot about Gepard, but she has never actually met him since she wasn't adopted back when the Underworld and Overworld weren't separated. Despite this, she feels as if she had known him forever because of how often Serval and Lynx mention him. As if he's still here, with them.

She and Pela are good friends. Thanks to her, Bronya got into the Tales of the Winterlands. That series got her to wish to one day go to the topside and see the snow plains for herself. It's a wish she holds close to her heart.

She is close to Lynx as well, they spend a lot of time together due to her being the little sister of Serval. The two of them started reading Tales of the Winterlands together thanks to Pela and both of them loved it. They have spent hours talking about what they want to do in the Overworld.

Pela

She is a very important part of Wildfire not only because of her strength but also because of her great investigation skills and data collection. Thanks to her, Wildfire is not only able to catch troublemakers but also because she could predict future fragmentum activity based on the data she managed to collect.

She was the one who investigated Vache when Cocolia first heard of the rumours. She had come to Pela as a friend, asking for help, not as part of Wildfire. Pela accepted to look into it for free, and gave it her all. Let's just say the investigation wasn't all that pleasant.

She has created a fake identity that she uses to bet on herself. She is very strategic about it too. If she wins too many bets, she makes sure to stage a few loses to keep the attention away from her fake identity. She has made bank with that strategy.

Moreover, the reason she is still technically in debt is because the person she owes to is in the Overworld, so she had no way to reach him and she can't ask Sampo for help. She has a small box in her apartment that is the payment to her debt. She's not sure if there's any extra payment due to being late (although it's not really her fault) but just in case she keeps some extra shield.

Her closest friend is Lynx, they hang out together anytime Lynx isn't with Svarog. There's moments were they don't talk, Lynx just shows her picture as they cuddle on Pela's sofa and that's probably their favorite activity. However, anytime Lynx is in a talkative mood, the two of them theorize on what Gepard is doing in the Overworld.

She preforms in Mechanical Fever with Serval. It's a way for her to gain an additional income while hanging out with her friends (Serval, Lynx and sometimes Cocolia (when she's not busy with Wildfire and the clinic, which is pretty rare)). She is a drummer, her drumsticks are handmade and very sturdy (build by Serval) and she uses them when fighting as well.

She participates in a lot of food completions (like eating all 5 crabs that are in the game), but her favorites are the ones with spicy food. She and Serval were the ones with the biggest rivalry in a spice tolerance competition.

Serval

When she and her siblings first moved into the Underworld, they could only afford a one-bedroom apartment. She and Lynx shared the bedroom and Gepard slept in the living room. Soon, after Cocolia formed Wildfire, Serval go the opportunity to move. Now, she lives with Cocolia in a four-bedroom apartment, one for her and Cocolia, two bedrooms for Lynx and Bronya and the last one for Gepard.

While she is part of Wildfire, she also has her own "workshop" which is just her "experimentations" on automatons. She wants to create truly sturdy ones that can handle the fragmentum so that people don't have to risk their lives (and to also win in automaton fights shhh!!!!!).

While she doesn't like Svarog, she still helps him fix up a few things here and there, although she doesn't approve of the way they run their part of the Underworld she understands that he is an important ally. Plus, she gets access to better tools/materials.

She is still the lead singer/guitarist in Mechanical Fever. Most of her songs are about hope and a brighter future, it's her way of helping uplift the people of the Underworld. She is the most popular artist in the Underworld because of this.

When Sampo first arrived to the Underworld, she asked him about Gepard. More specifically, how he's been, if Sampo knows anything about him (whereabouts, health and the like). While he answered her questions, she asked if he could bring Gepard down, but he said "not yet". He did give her other reasons as well, but the "not yet" stuck with her.

Whenever Bronya and her go for patrols or missions together, they just talk. Like, they do get the work down, but they have insanely good coordination skills and synergy together that it's a breeze for them so it works more as a bonding moment rather than work.

The one taking care of most plants in the Underworld is Serval because they remind her a lot of Gepard and his love for plant life. On especially lonely nights she imagines his reaction to seeing how much the Underworld has changed since last time he was there.

Lynx

The reason Lynx got so attached to Svarog was because he possessed a lot of knowledge about the outside world and he could answer a lot of her questions. He once even showed her a projection of how the aurora looks back in the snow plains.

Before meeting Svarog she had tried to go to the surface to, one, find Gepard and, two, to see the Overworld once more. She went pretty far, but she couldn't unlock the Furnace Core, so she had to leave before Svarog found her.

She once confided in Pela that she doesn't remember Gepard's face, that it's very blurry for her and that she feels very guilty about it. She is frustrated because she does care about him and Serval always gets a sad distant look when he's brought up, but whenever she is trying to imagine the three of the reuniting, she can't picture it.

She has tried reasoning with Svarog on multiple occasions, but the robot never changes his mind. She still hasn't lost hope whatsoever. After all, her dream, aside from reuniting with Gepard, is to visit the snow plains.

She knows basic engineering thanks to both Serval and Svarog. Although she is not very interested in it. She prefers learning about the outside world much more, but it's useful information so she doesn't argue.

Whenever she wants to get a few extra shield, she goes to the fight club to bet on Pela. If she is not participating, she follows Pela's betting advice. She almost always wins, but that's because she doesn't visit the club that often.

When she met Sampo, she had asked for pictures of the snow plains, since she learned he fights the fragmentum there. He obliged and now she has a whole pin board dedicated to those pictures in her room.

Hook and Clara

The two of them are a very big deal in their school. They brag that THE Captain of the Silvermane Guards has them as "assistants". At first, the other kids didn't believe them when Hook said that they work for Sampo until he comes pick them up from school one day (Fersman was busy).

While the two of them have their separate bedrooms, every night they have "sleepovers" which is basically them sleeping together in each other's bedrooms. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays they sleep in Hook's room and on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays they sleep in Clara's room. On Sundays they play rock paper scissors to decide where the sleepover will be.

Seele had to explain to them on multiple occasions that they are not official Silvermane Guards. Hook refuses to listen and Clara is just confused. Both insist that they are cause "uncle Sampo told us we are under his command!!!!!!!!! You're just jealous your boss isn't as cool as ours!!!!!"

While they get a lot out of following Sampo's orders, they are still not allowed in the restricted zone. They don't get it, and Sampo dances around the issue, ordering them to do things outside it like bringing lunch to Luka or something.

Both of them are really scared of Natasha. They've seen her once or twice in public appearances and whenever they bumped into her in Qlipoth Fort, and while at first she seems nice, something about her scares them. Most of the time whenever they see her they run to hide either behind Sampo or Fersman or Luka.

Once, Sampo had an infiltration mission but Hook and Clara kept wanting to hang out with them. Sampo noticed Gepard in his terrible disguise and told them to follow him. They ended up pestering Gepard all day instead.

Anytime there's a disagreement between them they solve it with a game of rock paper scissors. Even when doing homework. If one of them got a 7 as an answer while the other got a 100 they play rock paper scissors and list the answer as whatever the winner got.

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Ok my *favourite* Athelstan headcanons I've come up with so far, complied from all my earlier compilations** go:

**and yeah, YEAH a lot of these are reiterations of what i've said a million times, fight meeeee

under the cut:

He needs very little sleep to function & his sleep schedule is a Mystery

Always A Little Too Cold, can't sleep without like 18 covers

Shares life/skills tips with Lagertha

They are each other's wingman/woman (& silently judge Ragnar together when he's Up To Something)

They mourn Gyda on the anniversary of her death each year

He pushes himself too far without knowing it sometimes, trying to exist through being way too stressed, exhausted etc.

Has trouble getting the at LEAST 3 languages he speaks straight in his head sometimes especially in those scenarios

Tends the garden at Ragnar's farm, and later keeps a little garden of his own, it keeps him calm and reminds him of his work at Lindisfarne

His birth name wasn't Athelstan, that's his chosen monk name (in a couple fics of mine I've called him Anselm)

Bakes bread like an absolute King

Good at cooking in general

Soup

Has an intense fear of thunderstorms/severe weather

Can swim if he has to but not a fan of water either

Ambidextrous (and would get in trouble at the monastery for occasionally using "the devil's hand" by accident)

But now he can fight with both hands so that's cool

Nearsighted (that's what spending years squinting at small print by candlelight will do to a guy)

It's rare for him to get sick

But when he does it hits him like an absolute truck. Like he won't catch a single cold for YEARS and then out of nowhere bam, stuck in bed for two weeks with the worst bug of his life

Lagertha helps him out if he's unwell, he's got some medical training from being a monk but like I said earlier when he's too stressed his brain does Not work

And he's also helped her with injury recovery after battles, sometimes giving her insight to things that would've been a lot more serious otherwise

Basically he's her physio coach

(he's tried to do this with Ragnar too but that man is Too Stubborn -- even when it's Athelstan)

Ragnar's INSTINCT is to immediately roast most things he says about his religion off bat-- but then he'll spend hours thinking about his takes anyway and come back like hold on what was that you said. And Athelstan is like. Aha.

He and Helga are best buds (to Floki's dismay)

Helga + Athelstan + Gyda flower crown making circle. Yes please.

Face turns beet red in the cold

Ragnar LOVES to playfully slap him on the back, throw an arm around him, hugs etc. which is all fun and great but sometimes he'll forget that Athelstan is like. Small. And will straight up knock him over.

Animals like him instinctively

He's that weird guy who brings his sketchbook to a party & draws people

But fr he has more trouble remembering faces than names (and to him all the Norsemen kinda look alike. He will never admit that.) so he keeps track of everybody this way

Eventually does get a tattoo on a wrist or ankle where it can't be seen by anyone

Sorta easy to not notice. He can be very quiet, to the point where if he wanted to sneak around and snoop he could with almost zero effort. But he doesn't bc morals???

Finds Ragnar's old clothes (that he's stuck with at the beginning of the series) comforting and doesn't mind that they're about four sizes too big -- he's used to loose oversized robes after all

Gyda had a crush on him when he first arrived and Bjorn teased her incessantly about it (Athelstan had no idea)

People get to know him as kind of an advisor and sagely type, and will come to him for advice (honestly...kind of like a priest would do. which is not a connection he makes anyone aware of, but it makes him happy)

Strategy game enthusiast

Learns to knit & makes his own clothes

Has a bit of a photographic memory

Learns to make tattoos despite having only one of his own

Tries to give Ragnar one at one point and they think it'll be a ~bonding experience~ but Ragnar will not stop squirming and Athelstan gets increasingly frustrated trying to get him to Hold The Fuck Still

....Phew

@grantairescurls @levithestripper @starrose17

I know I've bombarded you guys with so much Athelstan stuff that's probably super repetitive but ughhhghhhhhhhh I gotta exorcise these things

[chrysothronos]

💫 🤍 🕯️☯️ 🧿

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

play-by-play comments and/or long comments/reviews. i like hearing how readers felt at certain times, but i also love a carefully composed, long comment/review. even if it has some "i don't like x" i like hearing an explanation as long as it's not just being negative. i like these bc it gives me insights on how readers things, on how my writing is and i like observations.

i know not everyone's into them but these kinds of comments are things i'd like to print out and put on my fridge.

🤍 what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

hard to say. i think my readership now understands me a lot more than when i started out but there is certainly a subset of readers who are very upset that i don't have soda/steve as anything close to endgame 99% of the time whether they get angry that soda/ivy is happening — going so far as to comment to me telling me that ivy's barely there presence in chpt. 40 was making the fic "unreadable" — to being annoyed that i usually have soda/sandy happen. and i don't understand why they express this to me in ways that are increasingly rude or don't seem to understand that i view sandy like almost anyone else and that's not ever going to change.

🕯️ was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

trap au. i'm still working on the next part, but i had no clue that writing dallas as an active serial killer would be so... interesting in how he views things? making things omegaverse certainly brings about a change in things, but making it omegaverse in this way brought to the forefront ideas around prey drive and hunting, and how dallas' viewpoint while fucked up... makes more sense if you think of him as a feral alpha who's been repressing more of those feral instincts and once they're allowed to really metasize, he winds up violent in a different way and in a way that if he expressed it almost makes sense if you view him as a wild animal.

he's a wild animal who's been forced not to, essentially, hunt the way he's supposed to. and now that he is doing it, ofc he's healthier. but it's also insanely, you know, harmful.

☯️ how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

honestly, and i'm guilty of this at times myself, being on tumblr is not a good fandom experience for fandom in general but in particular, this fandom bc not only is it small but many corners of this fandom encourage surveilling others or at least having to know what's going on or else you'll suddenly be hit with waves of harassment out of nowhere. either you don't engage on looking at others and then i suddenly have anons calling me the n-word and trying to call me a pedo bc i wrote something they didn't like and someone with obvious mental problems will make escalatingly alarming posts about me though we've never interacted or interacted years ago once or twice or i keep an eye out but find myself reading hurtful comments about me, people i know, and blocking a lot but it still makes for misery at the end of the day.

i don't like it. it brings out the worst behavior for everyone involved, and i wish we could go back to forums. (and i mean. i do have one.)

i do however, think ask games like this, posting in a small group on discord or tumblrs like this, kudos and comments should be curated more and be healthier. i think comments really encourage conversation, being able to talk to friends in small groups help. i don't enjoy fandom being this fractured but frankly, until there's some sort of control exerted so less people under eighteen and less people who've solely been socialized on line occurs, it's all we got.

🧿 what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

take a break, block people, whine in private (having a public sideblog or posts with a dedicated tag where you whine in public is not a good idea. that's not private.), keep my cool in public as best i can and move on. things also have a weird shelf life online; it's shocking to me that my main soc au fic, while i've stopped receiving comments (you guys can comment completed fics!!!!!!) it receives consistent kudos to the point it's close to my #2 fic. so you really never know.

[helluvahusker]

First chapter of the next installment of Sex Shop AU and Everyone is Poly bc I Said So is up! Click here or read below the cut

Blitzø: Hey u fre 2nite?

Stolas: Always free for you, darling.

Blitzø’s face burned. It was unfair how much he liked it when Stolas called him that. Not that it was special. Demons with posh accents tended to unironically call everyone “darling” and “dear” about as much as Blitzø condescendingly called everyone “bitch” and “sweetheart.” And he liked how enthusiastic Stolas always was about seeing him, even though it was mildly concerning that the bird was rarely busy in the evenings. Fuck, Blitzø really hoped that Stolas liked him for more than just being the only person to give him attention. 

Blitzø: Cn I cum ovar?

Stolas: Absolutely! What time should I expect you?

What time should he expect him? Well the store closed at 6 and Fizz was getting picked up by Oz at 7, Blitzø still had to shower, and Stolas lived on the nice side of town so Blitzø should probably give himself some extra time to get there…

Blitzø: Lke 7:30? Prbly gona help Fizz frist hes got a date

Stolas: Oooh, how exciting! I’ll see you at 7:30 then :)

Blitzø thumb up reacted the last message and closed his phone case, stowing it away in his pocket like it was supposed to be during work hours. He let out a long sigh. Tonight couldn’t come soon enough, even though he was dreading it. Like Fizz had said, one way or another, after tonight things would be different. Blitzø fucking hated change, but he’d long accepted that in most cases the only way out was through, and for some reason he would just never stop going through it. 

----------

As expected, Fizz invited Blitzø home with him after work to get ready for his date with Ozzie. It gave him a nice springboard to bounce his anxiety and outfit ideas off of. Freshly showered and digging desperately through his closet while clad only in a pair of briefs, he emerged victoriously with the two articles he’d been considering.

“Definitely the pink and green jester cap,” Blitzø said, scrutinizing the options Fizz was holding out for him. “It really brings out your eyes. And it’ll match the ropes Ozzie bought to use on you, ya know, if you guys take it that far tonight.” 

Fizz’s eyes went wide and dreamy at the thought. Then he shook his head, to clear it. “Hey, you don’t know he bought those for me. He was probably just expanding his collection.”

Blitzø shrugged. “Two things can be true. But I’m soooo sure him buying ropes you’d look fire in and the ballgag you said was your favorite at the same time he tried asking you out was a coincidence.” 

“Whatever,” Fizzie huffed. He tossed a set of shirts and pants onto the bed next to Blitzø. “Which of these?” 

Privately, Blitzø thought this was stupid. He was not the person to be asking about what colors went with what, especially if there was print or pattern involved. He kept his own wardrobe simple, mostly black red and white, with the occasional dress thrown in for when he felt like it. Those could be any color, since they didn’t really need to be matched to any other pieces.  Still, he helped Fizz as best he could, even though he thought his fellow imp looked gorgeous in everything, and especially in nothing. He was sure Ozzie would agree.  

Blitzø leaned back against the headboard of Fizz’s bed, which was big enough for an imp plus any other demon (or two) that he might care to invite into it. “Wanna have a quickie before you go?” 

Fizz shot him a very unimpressed look. “And show up to my date with your jizz leaking out of me?” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Blitzø said, a lazy satisfied grin flashing across his face as he briefly relived several satisfying memories. 

“As delightful as that sounds,” Fizz drawled, “Those were very different times. Besides, I think we’re both saving up our energy for other people tonight, aren’t we?” He gave Blitzø a pointed look. “You text Stolas yet?”

Blitzø scowled. “Yes mom, I’ve got it all figured out. I’m going over to his place. That way he’ll be comfortable and I can leave if I have to.” 

Fizz raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t want to meet at a neutral location for this?” 

“If I did that he’d immediately know something was up and then he’d probably doom spiral. I’m trying not to scare him off, remember?” 

Fizz grinned crookedly. “I was more worried about him thinking it’s just a regular booty call, but it sounds like you put some thought into this. Pretty sweet of you to know what kind of things make him freak out.” 

“It’s not like we just jump straight into fucking!” Blitzø said defensively. “We always talk first. Usually. And after. I’ll just… bring it up before we start going at it and it’ll be fine. Tell me it’s going to be fine.” 

“Blitz.” Fizz finished pulling up his pants and leapt into the bed, still shirtless, so he could pull his partner into a hug. “It’s gonna be fine. Just make sure you’re clear about what you want, and try not to assume the worst like you always do.” 

Blitzø groaned, burying his face in Fizz’s neck. “Feelings fucking suck.” 

“Yeah yeah.” Fizzarolli patted his back soothingly. “I know big guy, you’re a strong scary imp but give you some emotions and you crumble like a house built in the greed ring.”

“Fuck you,” Blitzø said halfheartedly, biting at Fizz’s bare shoulder in a weak attempt at retaliation. 

Fizz chuckled, shoving him away. “Hey, I don’t need any marks from you tonight, Ozzie’s gonna get the wrong idea.”

Blitzø widened his eyes and made his mouth a comical O. “Oh shit, you mean we’re not fucking?” 

“Idiot.” Fizz rolled his eyes good naturedly and slid off the bed so he could finally put his shirt on. Blitzø liked watching him do up his buttons nearly as much as he liked watching them be undone. Nearly. “He might think you’re a possessive bastard who’s trying to send a message. Or that we’re playing a game.”

“Wellll I don’t hate that idea,” Blitzø mused, “Like we could do that as a bit or a scene sometime. Not to be a cuck but marking you up and sending you off to someone else to get fucked could be kinda hot.” 

Fizz laughed. “Sounds like something a cuck would say.”

Blitzø stuck his tongue out at him. 

“But I want this date to be about me and Ozzie, you know?” Fizz adjusted his collar, glancing at Blitzø in the mirror. “I don’t want him to get it in his head that he’s just a part of our kink. He can be a part of it later, if he wants but I really fucking like him, and I want him to know that. Okay, Blitz?”

“You got it, Fizzie-pop.” Blitzø gave him a two-fingered salute. “You woo that fucking demon, woo him good.” 

Fizz straightened his back like he was standing at attention. His smile was devious. “Oh I fucking plan to.” 

[polyacrylamidepensieve]

Today I was at work late because I needed results / data to come out the flow cytometry lab to figure out how to work up two different patient cases, and if I didnt order the right stains by 6 pm the patients’ cases wouldn’t be resolved until after the long holiday weekend. Because of the timing of pathology. And the lab techs were super sweet and pushed those two cases out for me first simply because they like me. And I helped them resolve a specimen swap mistake a few weeks ago.

Anyway that’s not the point. What happened was, I was sitting at my desk worrying and working and the janitor girl saw I was alone. She came up to me and said, I hate to bother you but… do you have any insight on lupus? I just got diagnosed.

I had about fifteen other patients swirling around in my head. I had half an hour to interpret the data correctly, double check with my attending, and order the stains.

Her question was so out of the blue - normally all the janitors and I say to each other is “thank you” and “you’re welcome” or “good morning”

I didn’t manage to do more than blink at her, pull up uptodate (“doctor google”), print out three articles on lupus diagnosis, treatment, etiology, etc, and ask her to get them from the printer because I was truly that dead tired. I pointed her in the right direction toward the printer. She thanked me on her way out a few minutes later. I completely forgot that any of this happened until literally just now when it hit me, four hours later in bed.

Fuck. Is this what it’s come to? Being too burned out and busy and exhausted to actually stop for a second and hear a person’s story and explain their situation to them in spoken words, with compassion? I gave her only a handful of kind words. I used to have so many. I don’t have any idea if she’s going to understand the articles whatsoever. I’d never seen her before, she wasn’t one of the usual janitors.

What is happening to me. I am barely functioning this week. My attending is horrific. Worse than my mom, but similar in so many ways that I’m constantly triggered. I can see she has ADHD signs and symptoms like I do, but can’t talk to her about it bc she’s old school and likely to respond poorly. she’s rude, constantly expecting too much of everyone else, slow, and her overwhelming anxiety is mostly expressed via shouting at and belittling everyone with “this won’t fly” and “why did this happen? Who did this” when anything goes wrong. We’ve had over 20 marrows four days in a row, which is busier than any other week so far, marrows-wise. I’m just trying to survive. Am on call for two weeks straight (which is a duty hour violation), even though my PD is getting actively yelled at for duty hour violations by the ACGME. I just. Completely forgot about this human interaction. It just fell out of my head as it was happening. I mean. I know I’m dissociating but fuck.

[bonesandthebees]

Second, the Glass adaptation. Aren’t there a shit ton of Whatpad books that not only got published, but then also turned into movies? I don’t really think you have to worry about it. From my own experience with writing original ideas, they chance a lot over time, so once you start writing, the world might still shift a little. Also, as you said, you are already changing the character’s and plot. So glass now is just you playing with dolls to iron out the worldbuilding. See it as a first draft you put out there to get feedback on (which very much works since we treat it like a book club).

Also, if you are that worried, it think it wouldn’t be that hard to scrub every trace of Glass of the internet when the time comes. And sure there are some written copies, but I think that rule for that has always been that people can do that if they keep it for themselves. So they should be chill about it.

Either way, this is the same, write for you rhetoric. Rewrite it as an original novel because you want too, and if you can’t get it published, at least you have that experience and you can work on a different story. Also I know an author who writes atla fanfics and publishes “serious face writing” in the form of an original series, and while it’s not entirely the same (as in they aren’t rewriting their fics) I still think that if they are fine, you will be too.

This concludes my covid pep talk. Remember to test yourself we you get sick people because I wouldn’t have remember to do it if a friend of mine (who I hadn’t even seen) told me they had covid.

(2/2)

-🎄

Yeahhhh I know I’m just being paranoid. I already know a lot is going to change with the glass rewrite/adaptation. My paranoia mostly resides in how distinctive the worldbuilding elements are but that’s also why I want to rewrite it so badly because it’s cool so that’s kind of a moot point.

I definitely will have to try and scrub glass from the internet if this ever goes anywhere. I just have to hope the people who have printed copies of it so far keep it to themselves and don’t out me years down the line lol (as a preemptive sort of thing for my own peace of mind I’ve changed my boundaries on my carrd a bit to specify that I don’t want anymore copies of glass to be printed and bound. if someone already did it that’s fine, but just be quiet about it)

Thanks for the reassurance lol I just get really paranoid about this stuff. I really do love the world of glass and I have so many ideas for the story I can tell with the new characters I’ve come up with and I just feel so excited bc I haven’t felt serious about writing an original novel in so long and now I’m like wow maybe I can actually do this

Hope you feel better soon spruce <3

[surveillance-0011]

I was wondering if you could maybe do some Kenny high on life headcanons if you haven't already

yes ofc! im also gonna take the time to say feel free to send asks + hc requests whenever bc ill most likely get around to it even if it takes me a bit to think of things. just nothing abt the comic yet bc i'm still working on getting my copy :3c

he/him polysexual demiaroace

Big on collecting, had a huge collection of geeky merch back at home and he'd love to build that back up again asap

huge weeb huge nerd duh

Very very glad general space culture is a bit more open to the sort of things he's interested in and very very glad the Bounty Hunter is also a huge nerd

exaggerating a liitle bit of how much space loves anime but he's not far from the truth

Loves Akira and NGE. Also big on Gurren Lagen and Gundam.

Gunpla builder. glad BH, Lizzie and Gus have hands to help with this. Gene DGAF so he don't count

Likes fruit flavored candy a lot. Like anything from hi-chew to juicy drop n peach rings n stuff

More than a little impulsive and impatient. Gets restless easily.

Trusts easy, kinda gullible especially before the events of the game. Easily fell for spectacle/face value assumptions.

Generally just. doesn't read the fine print. not as observant as he could be. should be.

But also very curious very excited to learn and see new things he needs his enrichment. take him to aquarium take him to library take him to museum

Wanted to be an astronaut when he was a kid

Likes those glow in the dark stars that you can stick to walls.

Went to trade school, good with mechanical work.

In a human au he’d wear headphones with lil antenna attached

Chill with knifey if concerned by his perpetual bloodlust. Tried to get him into Chainsaw Man and Akira.

If he ever meets Harper I think things would be more than a little awkward but they would end up getting along really well. Like besties well

BUT she would kick his ass/spray him with the hose on the highest power setting in the back yard first. It's only fair.

I don't say this as "ew icky kenny must suffer" i have the idea in my head that they mutually agree to something like this since harper has repressed so many of her emotions that something weird and cathartic like this would be the only way to work through it and Kenny just decides it's better to get it all over with in this kind of self flagellating manner than deal with someone else being mad at him for years perhaps in a moment of weakness he instantly regrets but it ends up working out.

Maybe he'd feel slighted at first?? Or insecure about it?? But Harper being so buddy buddy would make him slip back into place more and feel more like it's alright in the end.

And also anime buddies. We can make this happen. we don't have to fight. peace and love

that being said...

More below the cut but warning it's all abt the whole G3 thing and uh warnings to mentions of character death, manipulation and mentions/implications of suicidal ideation.

I think Rel was taking advantage of him but it wasn't like. 100% trying to play Kenny like a fiddle. It's just that he definitely cared more about infinite ammo, a mechanic, and quirky commentator for his exploits 3-in-1 than Kenny as an individual and had no qualms about bringing him into his shady, dangerous lifestyle.

Kenny definitely let a lot of information slip to Garmantuous and the G3, under the impression that maybe they would just cooperate with the Gatlians and it would be a mutual helping sort of thing. He didn't know the extent of the G3's crimes or what they would really do to Gatlus.

I think Garm and/or Nipulon mostly pressured/ encouraged him to talk and he figured at worst they’d be pushy or get some folks on Gators into hot water

Escaped from their clutches for a while only to be recaptured. Rel became much crueler to him as a result of the attempted betrayal.

Conflict-averse, when it comes to actual social disputes.

Creature forgave him quickly. Gus and Sweezy had to gradually warm up to him and it would never really be the way it was before.

Kenny felt pretty distressed by this. didn't they know he lost everything too? Couldn't it just. be over now?

I mean. Let's be real here. Yes Kenny was manipulated and his worst crime was mostly just running away and trusting the wrong person. But when that mistake leads to something so big? Ofc it's gonna make people mad. Esp with a vague, rushed confession instead of really being able to speak his peace

And I think not wanting to tell people, only being prompted to in order to tell the story first, and that whole "you mean i didn't even have to tell anyone ermwhat the sigma!!" bit really do seem. pretty selfish. i'll admit it irks me more than just a little.

Granted I'm sure no one's thinking straight when their whole planet's been wiped off the census and I think general survival and trying to keep a stable group came before most else in Kenny's mind. And in general he wanted to get out into the world, really see it, and prove himself only to fuck up more in the end. but it's a principle sort of thing to me.

But I like to think (and definitely want to write/draw a little something about this) that he eventually managed to really talk things out and reach a slightly better middle ground. Because everyone else really suffered for his fuck up and ofc they can't just "oh it's okay" it all away. But at the same time changing the trajectory of the galaxy's politics and wellbeing as a whole, getting entire planets destroyed because of one wrong move would break anybody down.

And I think they were getting somewhere before he. well. vanished off the face of the Earth

I read that reunion with Lez as a sort of reconciliation but I'm not sure if Kenny ever forgave himself for fucking up his friend's life like that.

I think Lezduit is relatively lucid if a bit dazed + confused, just unable to speak verbally. At the very least he's got a general idea of where he is what's goin on etc. And I think he did forgive Kenny but I'm sure if / when he is/was still aware of everything he'd still feel grim about stuff. If he could he'd totally just tell Kenny it would be better to be honest

And I think when Kenny first confessed everything Lez really wanted to tell him he could have been honest about all his doubts. Lezduit never thought he was a fuck up after all.

I'm honestly interested in the idea that maybe the Bounty Hunter didn't drop him, or that that was only half the problem; maybe he let himself fall or wriggled out of holster/grasp during a bout of guilt and doubt to just say fuck it and start over.

Or maybe not to start anything new at all and just. end it. That's dark but after everything maybe during a stressful mission it just all got to him and he freaked out and make that knee-jerk decision.

Though I'm sure he's survived and in my mind he's currently trying his damndest to make his way back to the Bounty Hunter.

i still like my prediction, as contrived as it may be, that Lizzie ends up finding him now that she's off on her own, too, and you end up reuniting with them both.

I mean. they're still using him for promo shit. there's no way he's GONE gone, they're probably just looking for a new VA and making sure the story fits together now.

And he is missed. By Creature definitely, by Gus yes even though he's not quick to admit it, and totally not Sweezy nooo why would you think that nooo why does she get kind of quiet and solemn when she goes to make fun of him and remembers he's not there noooo naur ahaha wtf are you talking about.

Knifey has also been like "Man i miss that blue bugger shame he's probably dead' and freaked everyone else the fuck out for a little bit

Lez doesn't know he's gone but I'm sure if/when the news reaches them it would be a small bout of mild panic (read: Major, major panic covertly expressed as " :O uh oh") but as much as they worry they'd kind of also just be like "eh he'll turn up somewhere". Happened before, and he's sure the Kenny he knows will tough it out. Not necessarily or primarily denial, mind you. I mean a real, genuine faith here. Lezduit knows his friend.

[narcissusbrokenmirror]

Sunset Curve headcanons that i created while getting groceries today

Alex and Reggie met in middle school and became friends who were constantly bickering at each other. Reggie was also really good at school and Alex wasn't (adhd) so they did homework together, but they ended up in different high schools.

Luke and Bobby met in elementary school and copied everything the other did, had to be separated into different classes bc they manages to disrupt the whole class together. Didn't stopped them from becoming best friends.

Luke met Alex in a concert, they had a lot of similar favorites bands but they argued over music a lot, became friends instantly.

When Alex introduced Luke to Reggie, they clicked right away, Reggie was enthusiastic of everything Luke said and Luke was impressed by how unapologetic Reggie was.

Bobby and Alex didn't liked each other at first, Bobby thought he was too sarcastic for his taste and Alex found Bobby's presence a moodkiller. eventually, they bonded over familiar situations (the perks of being the youngest son who wasn't really expected to achieve a lot) and how Alex could get them easily out of trouble and how Bobby could throw hands at anyone for Luke, Reggie and Alex.

They started their band at the end of middle school. They weren't each other's only friends, neither hang out together all the time. But they always had each other's backs.

Alex and Luke once fought cause other bands invited Alex to join them, Alex didn't even considered accepting, but he didn't wanted Luke telling him what to do.

Bobby never really vocally agreed to call their band Sunset Curve, but Reggie was so perky about the design he created and Alex had already printed it out on his drum kit. He got over it.

Luke never told any of them all the things his mom said to him when they argued, but being far, neither one of them told every detail about their lives at home.

They used to make fun of jocks and call them meatheads. Bobby did it bc be had three brothers in sports, Luke did it bc he sucked at sports but wouldn't admit it, Alex just never liked it, Reggie got bored of playing bc he always forgets the rules. Sports are really dumb.

Alex and Luke were supposed to have a driver's license, but they both failed it, Reggie couldn't afford it, so technically Bobby was the only one who could drive. (But Reggie learned it so they had a backup plan in case Bobby couldn't drive)

Reggie tried to adopt a dog and leave him on the studio but everyone else agreed it was a bad idea. The dog had an actual owner in the end.

I change my headcanons all the time tbh but reggie/alex friendship is way too real for me in every universe.

[fllagellant]

Also speaking of the Chromebook boom thing , growing up I Witnessed the shift in my schools . My middle school had a computer lab my first year , but then it was made into another classroom . The computers ? No clue what was done with them . Instead , you were to rent a Chromebook if you needed any online work done . Besides , google has all applications as apps , so you just need to download these apps and keep them on your phone all the time for schoolwork .

In highschool , only a few classes had access to actual computer . Photography , Computer Science … and that was it . Sure , in both middle and high school , we had computers in the library , but four computers is nothing for a full school of students . You had to fight tooth and nail for an hour on the computer in my highschool , and book in advance . If you were late , someone else got your spot . Naturally , a lot of us ( me included ) didn’ t want to fight for that when it was made 100x easier to rent a chromebook for a semester … if we needed to print something , we all had a teacher that would do it for us . We were pushed away from using computers

Chromebooks , unsurprisingly , are far cheaper than computers . And were advertised heavily to family to be the laptop replacements for student . It’ s way more probable ! It has all the needed apps built in ! You don’ t need to worry about the hassle a computer or laptop might bring ! Hell , I have a chromebook now . Hardly used , only cracked open for taxes or school related uses , occasionally used for like . Little joys . I had a hand me down dell laptop as a child , and now I have a chromebook . I want the hand me down laptop back ! Trust me !

Also this idea that all children cannot fathom a computer and are all fools bc they might struggle with dealing with flies on a computer ; What . Number one , go to a public library and see the children lined up to use a big old computer for games and school and whatever they want to do for the hour and bit they get . Kids aren’ t scared of a computer , but most don’ t have a chance to be Around Them . Much less have one of their own . Listen . If they could have their own , they would ! They love those things ! Number two , when children and young people are struggling with something because they are a part and were raised in that sudden technical shift , be fucking normal about it . I guarantee they want to understand how to sort files and know how to save specific projects to specific drives , but they never had a chance to Learn . And now that they have to , you getting on a high horse about it is Ridiculous . Oh no , young people have to learn something that adults aged 40-50 also struggle with now . The horror .

Like I get the feeling . It is bad that people are lacking that sort of computer literacy people expect . But do you think they asked for everything to be switched to Chromebook google drive no hassle no fun and to now be the big idiots who need help to learn about things they we never exposed to . Do you really think that

[diamond-reads]

KAE YLANGELEGY WHEN I FIND YOU.......

but also. thank you. i got the notification for this while i was having a really really shitty day at work, and knowing that i had your writing to come home to made really was a light at the end of the tunnel. and so i must annotate this fic bc it makes me HAPPY and YOU make me happy:

Click.

tara diamonddaze01 #1 lover of onomatopoeia is HERE and i am already in love. the things i would do to freeze every moment spent with jeonghan.... print them and frame them and reminisce about memories.....anyways i digress its literally the FIRST WORD when will i learn how to RELAX

Your phone at eye-level; its camera, trained on him. There you are.

your camera is trained on him, but jeonghan is trained on you. a beautiful metaphor for how, in your world, he’s the subject of every picture—every thought, every moment. But in his, you’re the only thing in focus. and THEN the "there you are." really hits home - he sees you. i love the idea that the real you begins where the camera ends

This is how he knows he loves you: Your laughter always felt like a small victory. Even before, he’d crack jokes in staff meetings and his eyes would immediately go to gauge your reaction.  

say it with me: i LOVE love. and i LOVE this assertion that jeonghan doesn't want your laughter to feel like he's funny (he knows he's funny) but he wants it to feel like he's yours. i love the idea that he collects these victories, these pieces of you like a hoarder. it's subtle, this love - the kind that sneaks up on you in fluorescent-lit rooms and powerpoints presentations; the kind that falls in love with the way your eyes crinkle when he tries to make you smile.

I love you, Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan!

I love this line, I love the heartfelt emotions that just...sneak up on you. the declarations of love that are sudden, that catch you off guard and make you laugh.

siderbar: oh ur so evil for the beautiful soul mention...... but the lyrics "I don’t want another pretty face / I don’t want just anyone to hold" play so BEAUTIFULLY off the line about laughter being a small victory. jeonghan treasures your laughter - something as intangible and as unique as your soul; jeonghan doesn't try to impress, but the small victories are a connection to you, and you laughter is vulnerable, real, and uniquely yours

i could wax poetic about song lyrics and your writing forever but anyways i digress...

At the twenty-minute mark, Jeonghan finally huffs, “I’m ignoring you.”  “Hm?” you say distractedly, and he resist the urge to chuck your phone into the nearby lake.  “I said,” he repeats. “I’m ignoring you.”  You glance up at him, unamused. “You are literally talking to me,” you note.  “Well, I was ignoring you before that.”  “Were you?”  “Yes. You didn’t notice, so I thought I’d inform you.” 

kae you write your characters with so much love - jeonghan is so fucking ENDEARING i want to put him in my pocket. oh yoon "must-have-the-last-word" jeonghan how i adore you so

Jeonghan is supposed to be sulking, but that small word— we— has him fighting down a smile. It’s his account, his digital footprint, but you’re the mastermind. You’re the one behind the man, the myth, the legend. 

i'm so :((( no one TOUCH ME. his reaction is so.... on the surface, jeonghan is the charismatic, untouchable legend, but beneath it all, you’re the one grounding him, supporting him, making sure the myth doesn’t outshine the man. you’re the quiet, steady presence behind the scenes, and jeonghan loves you for it in ways he probably doesn’t even know how to express fully.... i want to kiss him....

“Get some photos of your actual boyfriend,” he grumbles.

sulky pouty BABY come HERE let me KISS IT BETTER!

siderbar: i had never listened to zild before this but oh my god i love this song. my fav lyric so far: "Gagawa ako ng kanta, / Na ikaw ang pamagat" ("I will make a song/With you as the title"). I feel like this mirrors the line "It’s his account, his digital footprint, but you’re the mastermind." - you are the one behind his image. your presence in jeonghan's life makes him who his is; he may be the “legend” in public, but in private, you’re the one crafting the story behind the scenes. this is mirrored so well in Lia by the sentiment of putting someone at the forefront of a creation. oh to love someone to the point of creation....

He didn’t want a civil breakup. He’d much rather go out kicking and screaming than have something amicable.

oh jeonghan.... here comes my character analysis because kae writes like honey and i am drawn in like a fly:

idk i feel like this jeonghan just thrives on intensity and raw emotion - the imagery of a breakup being "civil" feels so foreign to him because he’s the type who prefers things to be messy, uncontained, and loud. he doesn’t want the quiet closure; he wants something that feels like it mattered, something that leaves a mark. there’s this craving for validation, to feel like the end of something—whether it’s a relationship, a chapter, or a part of himself—needs to be remembered. If it’s civil, then was it even real? Was it even worth the effort?

re: “kicking and screaming” - he wants passion, he wants fight, he wants to know that you two struggled for it. it's like this deep-rooted need to avoid anything that feels too easy, too comfortable. he’s the type to throw himself into the storm of emotions, to feel the thunder roll through his chest, even if it means suffering. because in the suffering, there’s proof of how much it all meant. A quiet goodbye just wouldn’t feel earned for someone like this. he wants to be remembered

if i got this wrong kae pls ignore me. LMAO. ONWARDS!

Jeonghan tugs at your hand and shakes his head. Focus on me, he’s wordlessly saying, and for once, you do.

what a beautiful line - for someone who has spent the entire relationship looking over her shoulder, making sure no one is watching, it speaks volumes to finally lay it all to rest, to see him, to just be.

You squeeze Jeonghan’s hand reassuringly. “I’m not throwing anything away. I’m just compromising.”  “I don’t want you to have to compromise anything for me.”  “Compromise is part of a grownup relationship, Hannie. It’s a good compromise.” 

[sobbing violently] something something to be loved is to be changed...something something to love is to compromise...something something to love is to make space for growth.... no one look at me ever again.

sidebar: oh my GOD tum se hi mention you want me DEAD okay!!!!! one of my favorite lyrics from the song are "Main tera sarmaya hoon" which literally translates to "i have become your property" but stylistically it means "I am because of you". something about that line + this jeonghan makes my heart break in ways i didn't know was even humanly possible. there's this the profound sense of belonging and dependence that the lyric evokes. it’s about becoming something through the other person, because of them—there’s this raw vulnerability in it that makes my chest aches. Jeonghan knows he is because of you, he's so intertwined with you in a way that makes him feel whole.

When he goes to kiss you, it bears none of the threatening front that he’s trying to put up. It’s a slow, sweet thing. A glimmer lighting up his cotton sheets.  He only pulls away when he can no longer physically manage to keep kissing you. There’s the beginning of a grin on his face as his breaths come out in short pants, as his eyes stay closed. He’s savoring the moment, trying to remind himself how damn lucky he is even if the cost involves running his own SNS accounts henceforth.  But then you’re laughing, your fingers threading through his hair. You tug Jeonghan back down despite the fact that you’re just as breathless, and his lips curl into a full-on smile when they meet yours. 

I apologize i have nothing intelligent to say here. my brain is broken and i am in tears because DEAR GOD i am in love with this man!!!!!!!!!

tldr; kae you have, and i kid you not, my whole entire heart. every character you write is like a thread of gold, and you weave together tapestries of love and life that make me feel. you stitch warmth and light into the fabric of the worlds you create, and when you step back to look at it, there’s this masterpiece that’s almost too beautiful to touch—but you do, and it feels like it was always meant to be held. The way you turn even the smallest, quietest moments into something that glows is like witnessing magic in motion—everything you touch turns to gold, and I feel lucky that i am allowed to feel its glow.

so disconnected 📵 jeonghan x reader.

if jeonghan's 'boyfriend material' posts are on point, well— you can thank his girlfriend.

★ jeonghan x social media manager!reader. ★ word count: 2.6k ★ genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff!!!, txt's soobin is mentioned, down bad!jeonghan, jealous!jeonghan. some smau elements. not proofread; we go out swinging, baby. ★ footnotes: "kae if i wake up to a single shred of jeonghan on ur page..." ¡sorpresa, @diamonddaze01! no further notes, your honor.

🎧 now playing: disconnected by 5 seconds of summer — i admit i'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules, but i've found my sweet escape when i'm alone with you.

Click.

Jeonghan hasn’t even looked up and yet he already knows what he’ll find when he does. Sure enough, when he shifts his weight onto his other foot and glances away from the TikTok he’d been watching— there you are. 

He wishes he could see your beautiful face. Alas, it’s obstructed by the sight that he’s grown used to associating with you. 

Your phone at eye-level; its camera, trained on him. 

“Yah.” His high-pitched bid to feign annoyance is a futile one. Everybody knows that Jeonghan could never be truly irked by you, no matter how masterfully you pushed his buttons sometimes. 

After clicking away for a couple more minutes, you finally lower your phone. 

There you are. 

Jeonghan swears he’s not a sap, not what those people call ‘simps’. But something about your smile always makes him a little weak in the knees, makes him want to be The Best Boyfriend In The World, bar none. 

He gestures for you to come closer. Once you’re within reach, Jeonghan is already wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in.

“Don’t do that,” you snipe as he brings you into his chest. “We’re in public!”

Jeonghan can’t hide the way his eyes roll. “I don’t care. This isn’t public. It’s the parking lot of your apartment building,” he says dryly. 

“Still public.” 

“Still don’t care.” 

You go to shove at Jeonghan’s chest. He responds by tightening his hold on you, a sound of protest rising from the back of his throat. 

“C’mon, just a minute.” He buries his face in the top of your head, breathing in the soothing scent of your shampoo. It makes something in his chest flutter. “I’ll let you go, just— give me a minute, sweetheart.” 

He can sense that your acquiescence is begrudging, but he takes it nonetheless. A win is a win, he thinks smugly as he takes the opportunity to hug you a little tighter. 

It’s been three months since you finally agreed to try dating Jeonghan, though you had insisted that it be kept on the down low. Something about decorum, discretion. Workplace violations? Jeonghan doesn’t really remember; he had been a little too excited at the prospect of finally being yours that he wouldn’t have minded any condition in the world. 

The past weeks have unironically been some of the best in Jeonghan’s life, though there were probably some things he could do without. 

“It’s my day off, you know,” he mumbles into your hair, “which means it should also be your day off.” 

You giggle, and the force of it has your shoulders slightly shaking against Jeonghan’s chest. 

This is how he knows he loves you: Your laughter always felt like a small victory. Even before, he’d crack jokes in staff meetings and his eyes would immediately go to gauge your reaction.  

He liked making you laugh. He liked being the reason behind your smiles. And, God, did he like you. 

“Let me think about it.” There’s a hint of teasing in your voice, followed by a little ‘hmmm’ of faux thoughtfulness. 

He’s about to bite back at you when he feels your hand at his hip, somewhat leaning into his embrace, and he instead channels his energy into holding back a dreamy sigh. You go on, “No, I don’t think so. Go pose by the wall for another picture.” 

Jeonghan leans back a bit, just enough so that you can see his furrowed eyebrows as he whines, “But I’m Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan!”

The title is a new one. Five days recent, in fact, and Jeonghan is hoping it will cut him some slack. 

“Okay, Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan,” you say without missing a beat. “Go pose by the wall.” 

Jeonghan peels himself away from you with a grumble. He knows he’s acting a bit like an overgrown child— stomping as he walks, pouting when he leans— but he trusts that you’ll find it endearing. 

You pull out your phone’s camera app. Jeonghan is ready to frown the entire way through, maybe sass you that you only told him to pose by the wall but you didn’t say how he should look. 

But then, instead of “One, two, three…”, you call out something else entirely. 

“I love you, Daesang winner Yoon Jeonghan!”

He can’t help it. 

He laughs, and you click away.

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul

jeonghaniyoo_n hang up the telephone and just be here with me Liked by pledis_boos, vernonline, and 1,932,049 others View all 2,109 comments

One pro of dating your social media manager, Jeonghan would argue, is all the ‘vacations’ that the two of you can go on. You’re there for every tour stop, every concert, and Jeonghan absolutely revels in the hour or two he can steal away with you. 

If only he could get you to stop working. 

He knows that you’re technically on the clock more often than not. Managing an idol’s social media presence was no small feat, and your entire shtick was about making Jeonghan look as desirable as possible on SNS. You’ve been doing a terrific job so far, if his steady rise in followers was anything to go by. 

Still. Jeonghan has been attempting to give you the cold shoulder for the past 15 minutes. Attempting, because you don’t even seem to notice that he’s gone quiet— too busy on your phone to pay him any heed. 

He shoves his hands into his pockets and clears his throat. He doesn’t even have to glance at your screen; he knows you’re probably on Lightroom, fine tuning the press photos of him from earlier this morning. 

At the twenty-minute mark, Jeonghan finally huffs, “I’m ignoring you.” 

“Hm?” you say distractedly, and he resist the urge to chuck your phone into the nearby lake. 

“I said,” he repeats. “I’m ignoring you.” 

You glance up at him, unamused. “You are literally talking to me,” you note. 

“Well, I was ignoring you before that.” 

“Were you?” 

“Yes. You didn’t notice, so I thought I’d inform you.” 

The beleaguered sigh you let out is not a new thing. Jeonghan has been on the receiving end of your exasperation for as long as he’s known you. 

At least there’s a hint of guilt on your expression as you tuck away your phone. “Sorry,” you mumble. “Everybody’s posting follower ranking listicles since it’s the end of the year. I wanted to see where we were placing.” 

Jeonghan is supposed to be sulking, but that small word— we— has him fighting down a smile. It’s his account, his digital footprint, but you’re the mastermind. You’re the one behind the man, the myth, the legend. 

He’s down so bad for you that it’s not even funny anymore. 

“And?” he prods, his earlier chagrin smoothed out into something that sounds a lot more like resigned affection. “How’s it looking?” 

The frustration that takes over your expression makes Jeonghan want to coo. It’s nothing short of a miracle that he manages to hold himself back. 

“We still haven’t beat out Choi Soobin.” You frown like the other idol has personally wronged you by having a higher follower count. “His boyfriend material photos are too damn good.” 

“His what?”

You whip out your phone. Jeonghan watches with growing incredulity as you pull up Instagram, and he’s less than pleased that user page.soobin is already one of your more recently searched accounts. 

When you shove your phone underneath Jeonghan’s nose, he’s treated to the sight of Soobin’s feed. “Boyfriend material photos,” you double down, like having a visual might somehow explain things away. 

Jeonghan snatches your phone from you. “I heard you the first time,” he says irritably. “But what does it mean?” 

“It means that he looks like somebody’s boyfriend,” you shoot back. 

Oh, Jeonghan does not like that. 

He doesn’t care if it’s just a term for a type of photo. The thought of you perceiving anyone else as ‘boyfriend material’ makes a muscle in his jaw tick. 

“Do you think,” he says coolly, keeping his eyes trained on your screen, “he looks like ‘boyfriend material’?” 

“I mean, yeah—” 

You’ve barely gotten to the end of your sentence before Jeonghan is handing you back your phone. “Where are you going?” you call out as he marches a couple of paces away. 

He looks equal part determined and peeved when he turns to face you. You have your eyebrows arched upward, but he’s more focused on making sure his good side is angled towards you. 

“Get some photos of your actual boyfriend,” he grumbles.

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ ZILD - Lia

jeonghaniyoo_n we put the world away Liked by xuminghao_o, min9yu_k, and 1,000,289 others View all 2,109 comments

The day you tell Jeonghan about your plans of resigning, his first thought is Well, that was good while it lasted.

His attempt at being unaffected is a shaky one. You can tell by the way he holds his paper cup just a little too tightly, the way he keeps smoothing out invisible wrinkles on his coat. His poorly concealed distress makes your expression soften, which is somehow worse.

He didn’t want a civil breakup. He’d much rather go out kicking and screaming than have something amicable.

And he most especially didn’t want to be broken up with in some random café in Tokyo. He has half a mind to ask why you couldn’t have waited until the two of you were back home. 

Jeonghan swallows hard, like it might somehow help him swallow the panic simmering in the pit of his stomach. 

“Good for you,” he finally manages to respond. “You’re overworked here, anyway.” 

“That’s not the reason why I’m leaving.” 

Jeonghan hates how calm you look. The two of you had watched— and judged— one too many dramas, and so he’d imagined a breakup with you would be something like that. A rain-soaked street, choice words that neither of you could take back. 

Not you stirring sugar into your coffee like this is not a relationship-defining conversation. 

When Jeonghan doesn’t respond, you continue. Your voice goes a touch softer, and he’s struck with the fear that you’re trying to let him down gently. 

“I’m resigning because of you, Hannie.” That nickname— the one that once felt like a Daesang in its own right, when you first bestowed it on him— now makes Jeonghan’s heart feel like lead. 

“Because of me,” he repeats. 

His mouth is dry. His hands are clammy. He’s thirty seconds away from getting on his knees and begging you to stay, the rest of the café’s patrons be damned. 

Your next words are spoken like an unshakable truth. “Because I love you.” 

You— 

The look on Jeonghan’s face must be priceless; you start to laugh, and the sound of it eases some of Jeonghan’s fraying nerves. 

“I love you, and I want to be with you. Properly.” Your lips purse for a moment. “Well, as properly as being with an idol will allow, anyway. At least I won’t have to worry about getting called in by HR if I’m working someplace else.” 

Workplace violations. Right. That had been a thing. 

All the emotions hit Jeonghan like a truck. Relief (that you’re not breaking up with him), then affection (that you’re willing to do this for him), then guilt (that you’re willing to do this for him). 

He reaches across the table to place his hand on top of yours. Your eyes instinctively glance around your surroundings, checking to see if anyone is looking your way. Jeonghan tugs at your hand and shakes his head. Focus on me, he’s wordlessly saying, and for once, you do. 

“I love you, too. More than you know,” he says. “But I don’t want you to throw away your career for me. Who’s to say you won’t resent me down the line because of it? I— I couldn’t live with myself, sweetheart.” 

You squeeze Jeonghan’s hand reassuringly. “I’m not throwing anything away. I’m just compromising.” 

“I don’t want you to have to compromise anything for me.” 

“Compromise is part of a grownup relationship, Hannie. It’s a good compromise.” 

He must not look convinced, because you take things a step further. Instead of just clasping his hand in yours, you move to intertwine your fingers. There’s some comfort in the familiar feeling of your fingers in between the spaces of his. 

“Nothing is being thrown away,” you repeat, your tone brooking no argument. “I will not hate you tomorrow because of this.” 

Here’s the thing: Jeonghan trusts you implicitly, and not only with his SNS passwords. He trusts your no-nonsense attitude, your unshakeable feelings, your typically sound judgement. 

He wants to trust you now. He wants to believe so, so badly that there is something on the other side for the two of you, and that something would be exactly what the two of you deserve. 

He tongues the inside of his cheek as he considers your words. When he speaks, his voice is a lot smaller than he intends. 

“What about the day after tomorrow?” 

The initial confusion that flits over your expression is replaced by that grin he adores. 

“I’ll still love you the day after tomorrow,” you promise. 

He presses, “And the week after that?” 

“The week after that, too.” 

“What about the month after?” 

“I’ll do you one better— the year after, too.” 

You’re laughing, laughing in the way that he’s always tried to make you laugh, and it’s all Jeonghan needs to trust that things are going to be okay.

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ Pritam, Mohit Chauhan, Irshad Kamil - Tum Se Hi

jeonghaniyoo_n my getaway, my favorite place Liked by ho5hi_kwon, everyone_woo, and 2,000,001 others View all 2,109 comments

Click. Click. Click. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What,” Jeonghan huffs, “A guy can’t take photos of his girlfriend?”

You throw a pillow in Jeonghan’s direction, though your terrible aim has it soaring right over his head. 

Ever since you left his company, Jeonghan has enjoyed an array of benefits that come with dating someone who is not your co-worker. The biggest of which happened to be all the time he’s now free to spend with you, most of which he’s happy to kill in his apartment. 

He’s still a little bit petulant about your new job, though, and he likes to voice it out as often as he can. 

“I bet Soobin has tons of photos of you,” he grumbles.

You pretend not to hear him. Jeonghan tries again. 

From the foot of the bed, Jeonghan begins to crawl over your legs. Your annoyed tsk goes ignored as he takes your laptop and sets it aside, dragging you away from your social media planning for page.soobin.

“He better not fall in love with you,” Jeonghan warns.

You let out a low hiss before swatting at your boyfriend, trying to get him off of you. He doesn’t budge, instead caging you in with his arms on either side of you. 

When he goes to kiss you, it bears none of the threatening front that he’s trying to put up. It’s a slow, sweet thing. A glimmer lighting up his cotton sheets. 

He only pulls away when he can no longer physically manage to keep kissing you. There’s the beginning of a grin on his face as his breaths come out in short pants, as his eyes stay closed. He’s savoring the moment, trying to remind himself how damn lucky he is even if the cost involves running his own SNS accounts henceforth. 

“I’ll give you your laptop back,” he murmurs, satisfied to have had an ounce of you.

But then you’re laughing, your fingers threading through his hair. You tug Jeonghan back down despite the fact that you’re just as breathless, and his lips curl into a full-on smile when they meet yours. 

He’d been happy with an ounce, yes, but who is he to complain when you give him the whole damn lot? 

jeonghaniyoo_n ♫ 5 Seconds of Summer - Disconnected

jeonghaniyoo_n Do not disturb. 📵 - YJH Liked by sound_of_coups, joshua_acoustic, and 3,392,034 others View all 30,109 comments

diamonddaze01 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ylangelegy just fell to my knees 💔 happy for you, king yourusername :-)

[softness-and-shattering]

Had another realisation re my frustration with the (cheap, functional) mens clothing currently available to me.

Because Ive been watching a semi trend of youtubers hiring stylists to style the clothes they already own - so far that Ive seen its all woman stylists styling women, to the point that I wonder if any guys have signed up for these services and if the stylists like, know how to handle that, but I digress - and a phrase I keep hearing from these youtubers is "wow, Ive had these items forever and I would never have thought to put them together". And my thought is always "huh, really?". I used to stand in front of my closet + mirror and just throw things together in all kinds of combinations to see what worked. I didnt always have a lot of clothing, but what I did have was usually tops and skirts, plus belts and jewellery, so there were always options. I remember one time wearing what I thought of as a plain boring weekend shirt underneath a more structured jacket to a family wedding because nothing else was clean, and I was complimented for my outfit. Like wow you really can elevate a boring tee that I didnt even like tha6 much, into something appropriate for an afternoon wedding.

(There was this other outfit I loved with very sparkly cheap jewellery that I wore to a different wedding, walked up to talk to someone and the woman talking to her said "and who is this gorgeous creature?". Weird mix of that hollow feeling of being objectified + feeling hot and beautiful + loving the outfit I had put together. Like a squirmy not knowing if this is pleasurable or uncomfortable, both very confident feeling myself and unsure. And I always have to wonder now how much dysphoria was tinging things. This is when i was like 15ish I think?)

Three tangents later lol, I cast my mind to my own wardrobe. And of the clothes that fit well enough and are comfortable enough to wear - some of which I wouldnt wear if I had better options, and Im just intimidated to adjust denim that is technically wearable bc I dont really know how to take in tje waist? - theyre all the same cut. Sliightly different fabrics and some different basic prints but thats it. My shorts are all same length same fit. My shirts are all tees in a couple basic colours, a couple have boring inoffensive prints, same cut same fit.

Nothing has any distinguishing features. Different sleeves, necklines, ruffles, pleats, trim, crossovers like wrap shirts. Theres nothing to make anything particularly go or not go or do anything interestong at all with any other garment.

I have a tiny bit more variety when it comes to longer trousers but then my shirts are all tees so. One or another doesnt make much difference.

And part of it is that Im waiting till Ive had top surgery to properly invest in clothing. Its taking time to organise, but I dont want to spend a lot and then only get a years wear or less out of something, so Im sticking to cheap and boring for now. And that definitely does effect fit.

But/and its also sensory sensitivity. I used to wesr button-downs more but they had to be so oversized, and eventually Id put one on and half an hour later it was driving me nuts and I had to take it off. I love the idea of layering but I practically never do, even when its cold. I just sort of forget its an option.

I dont really know where that leaves me, other than bored. I can add things to my shirts but Im a bit terrified Ill waste what I have and not create anything I actually want to wear. I mean I also dont have much of a fabric stash to speak of so my on-hand options of jazzing things up are quite limited. I try to only buy supplies with specific projects in mind, both for financial reasons and lack of much storage space. But that leaves me without much to work with.

I wish I knew what I wanted, and how to make that in a way that was very comfortable to wear, and also able to be styled cohesively together that Ill want and be brave enough to wear when its done. And its the kind of thing you can only learn by doing. And doing means using supplies, money, resources and those arent plentiful to me.

But yeah I guess todays realisation is that I need more interesting clothes to hsve stuff to style with. Shorts + tee is technically a style, its perfectly acceptable and some days I just need clothes to acceptably cover my body. On days I want to play with style and feel a bit flashy or just better put together, I need some interesting pieces to work with.

*also like, thinking about derek guy ie the menswesr twitter guy, he seems to talk about cloyhes going together thematically, like if yourr wearing workwear style, say jeans and flannel, you gotta wear the matching shoes of eg boots, if you wear a dress shoe youre gonna look badly put together. But the cohesive styles always seem to be like, particular designer brands and cloth from wool from sheep in this particular place and while I totally understand that as like a stylistic integrity thing, I need to work out how to look cohesive without a big budget for designer items. Its harder to mix and match that way unless you stick to one type of style, and I like a lot of styles, though I guess Im already doing that with my "cheap and easy" current vibe so why not extend that to one more style at a time? Maybe?