#so far i have 7 fic ideas
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trying to plan out all my ideas for reddie week....... i have so many fic ideas.... but will i have enough time to write them all...... that’s the million dollar question....... everyone pray for me lmao
#so far i have 7 fic ideas#but like not one idea for each of the 7 days#i have a few ideas for the same prompts#so if i can get those done then you guys will have multiple fics from me in one day!! :D#hopefully.......#writing
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I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....
#i wish it was in English#bcs i would be very happy about it#but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing#bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo#how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us#and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills#i shall.. probably just cheat.#LIKE i want to learn german so badly#but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing#why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all#it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic#but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me#again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb#but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content#but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing#like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language#ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest#like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research#<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off#but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB#lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed#and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH#well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it#i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible#but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it#catie.rambling.txt
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Tastes of Whumptober: Day 7
Everybody thank @brutal-nemesis for her cave knowledge and help today!
If you've been sitting here saying "wow boa, this stuff is great, but I really need a character based off the warlock class of DND struggling to serve their patron!" then you're really gonna like today's writing and you should buy a lottery ticket.
Content warning: Claustrophobia in the form of a very narrow cave. Take care of yourselves!
Magic with a Cost
The walls of the cave were definitely getting narrower now. Where there had once been enough room to stretch out his arms, his fingertips now brushed against the rough, stone walls on either side.
The adventurer sent the shadows of these depths away, leaving an otherworldly light. Controlling the darkness was strange in that way. If he banished it, there could only be light in its absence.
He unfurled the parchment on which a very drunk bar customer had scribbled the map of this cave system. It occurred to him that he should’ve tried harder to persuade them, rather than simply buying drinks until he got what he wanted. But it wasn’t his fault his patron had been so stingy with their powers recently.
Well. Not entirely his fault.
If he’d read the disjointed scribbles of ink correctly, this crevice would lead to a wider cavern housing the element his patron was after.
Pushing forward the walls narrowed further, just as promised, until they were pushing against his sides. They were moist, wetting his cloak just enough to feel the clammy chill this far underground, but the grainy texture still chafed against bare arms. He wrapped his cloak around himself, sliding further into the crevice, finally able to spot an opening just ahead.
His shoulders were too wide after a while and he sidled ahead instead, but then even the cloak was too thick to pass through. Reluctantly, he unclasped it and regretted his sleeveless style. Though usually functional in conflict to avoid overheating, his teeth were now chattering and his arms and shoulders were being scraped raw.
With one final lunge, he emerged in a round cavern. It still felt remarkably like a hallway, longer than it was wide, but he could finally breathe again. He summoned a fire for light this time, remembering his instructions.
Call me when you arrive. I don’t need you messing about with what’s rightfully mine.
He hadn’t quite understood the explanation of why his patron couldn’t travel here themself. The pitch dark of a cave was, naturally, suited to them. But they’d chastised him with explanations about natural light sources, potency of shadows, and how his humanity allowed him to ignore such discrepancies.
But fire, as a sister to the sun, was a suitable replacement for her.
Flames danced along the walls revealing what he hadn’t paid attention to before: sloped floors dipping down to a pool in the middle of the room. It couldn’t have been more than a meter deep, and the water was clear all the way to the bottom.
And then he was pulled away from it by a familiar dizziness as his own shadow lurched and twisted. Of course, rather than possessing one of the many eligible shadows around him, his patron had to make their entrance unsettling. His consciousness blurred at the edges until they’d adjusted their physical form to their liking, towering over him with a grin.
“Ahhhhh… and here I was thinking you’d never call me, baby!” They stretched dramatically, hissing sounds and tendrils of smoke imitating the cracking of joints.
“I would never call you that. And you’d be much grumpier if you just made the journey I did.” He was having trouble hiding the goosebumps and smeared blood on his arms.
“You are my spiritual sugar baby if we’re being technical. You’d call me that if it meant I restored your full access to my power.” Their patron laughed, knowing he had no good response to that.
“Well, get going with your thing then. I’d like to stop begging for every miniscule bit of help.”
“Yes, about that. Where the hells have you brought me?”
“Where ol’ drunkie told me the Treasure of Elmstern Cave is,” he enunciated sarcastically.
“I told you what to do if you wanted my powers of persuasion.”
“And I wasn’t going to give a sermon on a demonic entity to the whole bar, including the guy I needed details from.”
When his patron touched him in this plane of reality, it was delayed. Their touches were firm and cold, but disconnected from their body. The movement simply happened faster than this realm could process.
All that to say: when they slapped him, he couldn’t see it coming. A chilly wind preceded harsh contact, only after which did he see the followthrough of their hand before tumbling to the ground.
“I am not demonic.”
“Yeah? You’re definitely acting like it!” He pushed himself back up, only to find his patron’s manifestation standing directly against him. “I know you’re not a demon, but those without pacts aren’t very understanding.”
“That doesn’t excuse you speaking in such a way.”
“Then just take your fucking treasure and leave me be!” He pushed them back, tired of the cheap intimidation tactics.
“Oh, I would have.” Their tone dropped.
That made their beneficiary freeze.
“And why not?”
“It’s not here.” A flinch.
“But they said-”
“I don’t care what story the town gossip spun for you,” they interrupted, their voice booming and echoing off the walls. “I’ve warned you. Continuous failures prove to me that the essence of your soul may be much more useful than your precious little mortal existence.”
“I-I-” They stalked forward, forcing him to wade into the pool. “I didn’t anticipate the difficulty of your tasks. I’m not useless just because I’m not some… some hotshot who’s been doing nothing since the birth of the universe.” Frustration bit into his words. If they wanted to play rough, he’d do the same.
“Be careful what you say, human.”
He was choking, and then a hand wrapped around his throat to add the pressure that cut off his words. They were standing in the middle of the pool now, and adrenaline couldn’t stop him tensing up from the freezing cold.
“Prove to me that your pathetic life is worthy of preservation.”
Their hand plunged him into darkness.
The water was all encompassing, seeping into each crevice of his being. The grip of his patron loosened and his body breathed before he could stop it, forcing liquid down his throat and up his nose. His feet had left the shallow floor at some point during the struggle, and he couldn’t orient himself. Desperate hands clawed at rocks and his movements kicked up silt, making his eyes absolutely useless.
Somehow, his grip found purchase and his head met air, desperately coughing up water so he could breathe it in again. How much had he swallowed? He didn’t even remember doing so.
Tears came next: relief, horror, exhaustion, all of it wracking his body as if he had energy to be wasting on this.
Then the water rippled behind him and a hand found his shoulder.
“Oh, you think you’re done already. How cute.”
#whumptober2024#no.7#magic with a cost#writing#fic#whump fic#original#claustrophobia#cave#spelunking#alcohol mention#magic whump#shadow magic#abrasion#threats of death#slapping#defiant whumpee#choking#drowning#tastes of whumptober#my writing#whump#whumptober#fantasy whump#whump drabble#not gonna lie i had SO much fun writing this#it took a while for the idea to form but by god was it a GOOD ONE if i may toot my own horn#like i've been having fun all month so far but it's been so many years since i last wrote a proper fantasy setting#and i only had to do the bare minimum magic system and worldbuilding since it's just a prompt :3#cheers to another 1000+ word whumptober day that i wrote in like three hours. for me that's insanely fast lol
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how to go from a one-shot/conversation spawned from thinking too much about an unseen father to more than a dozen fic ideas and an overarching narrative about family heritage (and the generational trauma that comes with it), the importance of communication, and how all lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive in one easy step
#pokemon#sir aaron#blood curse of sir aaron#<- series name for all this nonsense in case i wind up talking about it more here. will probably post links here once more is written#no seriously this was supposed to be a one-shot with maybe ONE sequel. now there's 4 sequels and at least 7 directly related side stories#and three (3) fics that are more or less gonna serve as prequels/background for all my canons at this point when riley's involved#it was also only supposed to be one and then i had Ideas and did not stop them.#(benefit of setting things during legends arceus and promptly ignoring the actual protag)#i've only had the core idea rolling around my brain for 6 months and there's this many fics. prequel 1 came before but the others are newer#at least i'm not trying to write an entire game plot this time unlike my other big pokemon project#so much of the conflict could've been avoided with better communication. not all of it mind you but the big issues? yeah#at the very least they could've been handled a LOT sooner#i've got a scattered 20k worth of it so far of actual fic and over 10k worth of notes. 2k of those notes are for a single episode rewrite#i know that might not sound like a lot to some people but only the first main fic is done. the third one is arceus chronicles.#im making. choices. that's for sure. and writing so much aura lore you have no idea#i might need to make a family tree soon#willowarts
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…it’s been 7 months but i’m alive!!
i swear i’ll finally post the next chapter of hold your fire tomorrow omg i’m sorry it’s been so long 😭 i promise it’s not abandoned, we haven’t even gotten to my fav scenes yet
#unfortunately i seem to have forgotten what’s happened so far in my own story#i’m sure there will be no consequences to this whatsoever#on the bright side i thought of things to add to the fic in the past 7 months#on the not so bright side one of these new ideas means i’m gonna need to go back to chapter 3 and change it a bit…#that’s awkward#anyways i’ll try not to disappear again#but no promises bc life has gotten quite busy and i don’t see that changing anytime soon
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👀 hi
#long tags so beware#i have a lot of thoughts on this au#OKAY SO this fic is actually really old and im not the most proud of it#'its gone through three stages of editing so far. and its going through another one before publishing#the script is dangerously yours#so they're a little ooc lmao#but hey#there were only like 7 tigerghosts fics so i thought i had to contribute#i think jumping into this ship with a 13k oneshot is a good idea#personally#there was also NO angst in this tag i was so confused#so because i occasionally dabble in writing angst i decided to contribute o7#after editing it the first time i realized that danny and manny should've switched places#but :twitching eyebrow: its fine#honestly im definitely planning on writing another fic for this ship#they're my favorite dynamic and i feel SO bad for submitting this fic as my first one to represent their dynamic#it is really angsty though#like if angst is not your thing then dont get excited#i love dangerously yours so i had to do something tho#anyways tomorrow expect a poll on what fic i should write next#(ignores my in progress chat fic) IM FINISHING IT I SWEAR#i have three ideas :3 all of them are angst whoops#this fic should be uploaded either tonight or tomorrow morning :3#okay thats all#see you later everyone :3
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#;ooc#(i will admit i've been somewhat anxious to be on tumblr here bc i feel like.......sort of a failure in a way)#(i feel like im not producing enough art or fics or edits or memes or gifsets and it stresses me out when its silly!)#(ive been in the sharpe fandom for 7 years now when it was mostly just me and sam so its definitely like oh god. what do i have to show for#it)#(i dont have to /prove/ i love this series by making all these things. i think abt teresa and the sharpe series every goddamn day)#(i can do things at my own pace but lord it takes too long)#(i need to go back and fix my old fics bc i want to fix characterizations- i want to post my current art#(i want to post all my gifsets currently in my drafts)#(i love seeing everyone's stuff on the dash but ive avoided a lot of tumblr so im not ignoring anyone!! just being too mean to myself tbh)#(adhd and chronic fatigue and depression make it all the more difficult but i shouldnt let that stop me)#(in the meantime i finished a mockup of one of teresa's dresses- very excited with how lovely it came out)#(i've also made significant process on my drawings of teresa's outfit lineups!! new and old designs)#(and i just started a piece yesterday that i'm really loving so far- my favorite spanish ladies all together)#(i also have some sharpe and antonia doodles that i was working on...)#(anyways. just wanted to get that off of my chest)#(and also FINALLY started working on three different fics that i've had as ideas for literal YEARS)#(they're not that far in but. PROGRESS!)#(anyways......ignore me sdfsdfgsdf)
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now the question is. am i going to study for my test that is 40% of my grade. or am i gonna write for zukka week
#the answer is zukka week btw#ill probably start studying like. the day before its fine#what is NOT fine is that i have only 2 fics written out of 7. thats bad actually#at least its very bad for my brain i cant handle it#i NEVER finish themed weeks and i always feel so terrible but also?? 7 fics in like a month?? when i have so far posted 8 (v short) fics in-#-like 3 years? thats so fucking many#i need to not be so hard on myself but its HARD because i have such high standards for myself wahoo perfectionism#but at least i wanna finish this 3rd fic that i started bc i think itll be rlly good !!!!#the others im not very sure about .. maybe my day 5 idea could be okay#but the rest is very much not fleshed out and i just dont have great ideas i feel like#so yeah we'll see!#i am now going to. try to write and / or scroll thru tumblr :) thank u (or not) for reading <3#s.txt
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Today I wrote about 900 words \o/ But only 100 of those were in the thing I wanted to add words to :( And most of them are in the wrong chapter. :( :(
#i know i need to finish the next AU chapter - just today i thought “they've been stuck mid-shag for ages. her legs must be sore by now”#but it's okay! fictional characters don't experience the flow of time when they're not being written! i assume!#i also thought “oh for fuck's sake stop wangsting [sic] about your illegitimate wean” oh no i am sick of the main plotline!!!#look as long as this next chapter is posted before march of next year i won't have broken my “longest time stuck between chapters” record#this is why many people don't read WIPs isn't it?#one scene requires the main characters to talk about their feelings for each other - URGH!!!#(but everyone who was worrying about how far AU!Sylvie is just in this for the sperms can relax as you will FIND OUT in chapter 5!)#(also i'm pretending it's making An Ironic Statement that i wrote fic about the woes of historical queens and she's not the PoV character)#(but actually i just didn't want to have to write lots of pregnancy stuff. this way i can lock her in a darkened room for much of that)#(oh god i'm so sorry AU!Sylvie the Confinement thing seemed like a good idea at the time... well no it always seemed fucked up. but.)#(and! chapter 6 makes things a bit clearer about what Unspecified Tasks AU!Loki has been doing off-screen. clue: it involves knives.)#(chapter 7 will be Mostly Filth but also a Shocking Cliffhanger!)#(and chapter 8 brings The Ending! gosh what a thrilling ride lies ahead when/if i actually finish writing this story! stay tuned!)#but no i'm gonna go now and see if i can at least get her legs into a more comfortable position#the sylki au that got longer and wronger#don't believe the hype#fic related
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WIP Files Game
RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs
I wasn’t tagged by anyone, but I saw this from @plothooksinc so I suppose it’s your fault, friend. 😁 These are more or less in order of activity, from regularly picking at to 'oh I forgot about this one.'
Nightmare fic
Leosagi cuddle-or-die
2k3/Rise crossover
Separated AU
Face Man three-shot(?)
Answer the call*
Leaving the nest
Useful Kakashi AU
2k12 Showdown
2k12 Rat King fic
2k3 Prodigal Son AU
I am not tagging this many people, so following in the previous example--if you see this and you're interested, consider yourself tagged!
#yes i am very boring and literal when naming word docs bc i will have no idea where/what a wip is otherwise#my wip folder is generally best described as 'turtles all the way down' so it used to be that each fic got a year + basic plot identifier#but since rise has been THE hyperfixation consuming my brain since fucking AUGUST#there's been no need to specify which iteration the first 7 are for#bc as far as my brain is concerned there IS no other series at the moment#also yes this is a giant list of just tmnt fic ideas and one (1) lonely naruto outlier lmao
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I have four Respectfulshipping ideas I would love to turn into wips, three for my event I’m hosting and one just manifesting unrelated and I’d love to get started but tired from doing nothing all day (I did a lot of stock take, though) and also don’t even know which idea I want to prioritise over the others. Instant gratification? Prompt chronological order? Something else entirely? Who knows, not me and I probably won’t start anything for a while
#merry muses#i want. to write.#so far i have ideas for days 1 / 2 / and 7#and i have tenuous ideas for day 6#and then there is the [redacted] fic i'm rotating in my head.... squishy embarassed spectre so good....
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i don't know if i'll post this fic but ouguuguhuhuh i'm tired of working on it. but i don't work on it, i'll have to do other things i really don't want to do
#if i don't finish a fic in like three days i get so sick of it#we don't talk about I Saw Your Ghost Tonight because i worked on that for so many months and i have never been so over my own work before#i think my problem is that i have too many scenes i want to write and i want to write it perfectly#but i don't like my writing right now because i know it's not as good as it can be#i need to improve my writing and i'm trying to push myself to get better with this fic but there's so much i'm trying to accomplish at once#i think i just need to take it one bit at a time and then come back to it but i hate doing that#sometimes i just want to get it done and over with in one go. rip the band aid off yknow#i don't know i'm in a weird spot writing wise and i feel like i'm very much in an in between period of time in my life#i don't know things are weird right now and i think it's kicking my ass a little bit#ANYWAYS page 7 i didn't think i'd make it this far. thinking about when this fic was just an idea in the car#rambling
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wanting 2 write a comfort fic for myself but being too burnt out to do so ✌🏽😔
#having a bad day lol#lowkey this just turned into a vent oops#sols become such a comfort character lately#like irl im a caretaker so w nb being very “take care of these 7 demons” gives me a lot of writing ideas#mainly just sol taking care of mc or like comforting them#caretaker burnout fucking sucks bcz its like#i dont have time for that!! i need to Take Care of a whole other person!!!#imagining sol just being there for me and letting me just exist and not worry about all the tasks is very nice#i would like to be held by him haha#i also get this way about luci n barb but nowhere near the degree i do w sol#talkpost#if youve read this far and have any fic recs that somewhat fits my rambling id love to know#ideally gn or masc reader but i can mostly handle fem nowadays#not q'd#not content
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CLASSYRBF’S JJK KINKTOBER SPECIAL 2024 !
(CANCELLED)
ᯓ★ — welcome to classyrbf’s kinktober special! This is my very first kinktober that I’ve ever done but I’m so excited. I’m doing this a little differently compared to others, so instead of days I’ll be doing weeks instead that way it gives me time to process my ideas and fics and if id like to edit anything. Also, most of these short fics/drabbles will be horror/halloween themed in some way. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
WEEK 1 — there’s someone in the woods w/geto suguru + 7 minutes in heaven w/gojo satoru
— there someone in the woods (stalker!geto x fem!reader): walking home from a halloween party you decided to take a shortcut, but an eerie feelings creeps up your spine and it feels like eyes are watching your every move
— 7 minutes in heaven (ghost!gojo x fem!reader): during a game of hide and seek at a halloween party, you end up locked in a small, dark closet all alone only to find out you’re not the only one hiding in there
WEEK 2 — scream queen w/toji fushiguro + freak on a leash w/choso kamo
— scream queen (ghost face!toji x fem!reader): ghost face!toji is back to make his mark on you, it just seems he couldn’t get enough of you last time (pt 2 of ghost face!toji fic)
— freak on a leash (choso x sucubus fem!reader): choso can’t seem to figure out why he’s been so horny all week, growing frustrated that he can’t properly get off, he accidentally summons a sucubus
WEEK 3 — nosferatu w/nanami kento + bewitched w/ hiromi higuruma
— nosferatu (vampire!nanami x fem!reader): it isn’t everyday where you wander into an old abandoned castle far away from the village, curious of the rumors that’s surround this place, except your quick to find it isn’t abandoned at all
— bewitched (higuruma x witch fem!reader): you have your sights set on hiromi, needy for him, greedy, but you can’t have him, and in order to make him yours forever…you turn towards witchcraft
WEEK 4 — love you to death w/ryomen sukuna + cowboys from hell w/jjk men
— love you to death (werewolf!sukuna x fem!reader): sukuna can’t help the beast inside of him when he lays his eyes upon you, becoming obsessive and seduced by your every move
— cowboys from hell (cowboy!jjk men x fem!reader): what happens when demonic cowboys rise from hell? Well of course they need to get a taste of the very pretty girl in front of them
taglist closed!
CLASSYRBF 2024
#—☆classyrbf#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk smut#toji x reader#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#choso x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk kinktober#kinktober#toji smut#gojo smut#nanami smut#geto smut#choso smut#sukuna smut
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I’m 1/5-1/7th the way done with one of my event fics and i am oh so very excited to finish it up and see where it goes
#i have a rough idea of the plot but we'll see what the exact details turn out to be#also its 1/5-1/7 because I do not know how long it'll be#i just put the minimum word count and added 2k to be safe#so far the fics just all heehoo good time and by golly it will change#atropos speaks (fake) prophecies
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omg i'm SO obsessed with roommate james like you don't understanddddd 😭💗 i've been loving the shy reader fics so far i'm so excited to see more of them!! i don't know if this would make sense w/ shy reader so honestly just write it however you want but i would loooove to see something w/ roommate james where he has friends over but is always like talking about her and checking on her and everything and his friends are just teasing him about it hahaha i think it would be so fun!! anyway tysm and i hope you have a good day!!!
Hi sweetheart! I had this scene already written but I did implement a couple of the things you requested, hope you like it <3
cw: alcohol
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13
roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 1.3k words
Somehow, you’ve wound up basically in James’ armpit.
“Falsehoods!” James is laughing, nearly shouting, but you get the sense one needs to yell a bit to communicate in this friend group. Everyone except Lily and Remus, that is, for whom the others seem to quiet reflexively every time they start to speak. “Lies and falsehoods! If I recall, I wasn’t the one who left a pot in the sink for so long it grew mold.”
“It wasn’t my pot!” Sirius defends himself, propping himself up on Remus' shoulder to make his point. He’s somehow managed to recline on the arm of your couch, his boyfriend’s arm wrapped cautiously around his waist to keep him from slipping off. “You cooked pasta in it and then forgot!”
“Y/n,” says Lily, sitting across her girlfriend’s lap, “blink twice if you need help.”
Mary laughs, hooking her hands under Lily’s knees to pull her closer and then intertwining their fingers. This is another thing you’ve noticed about James’ friends: they have a tendency to pile. Not even necessarily with their respective significant others and seemingly regardless of the seating available; last time you came home Sirius was half across James’ lap and Lily and Remus were sitting together on the rug as if the rest of the couch wasn’t empty.
You laugh too, self-consciousness making you slip further down James’ side when the others look your way. So, it’s possible you have some idea of how you came to be basically in his armpit.
James grins down at you. “Don’t listen to them,” he stage-whispers. “We both know what a good roommate I can be, under the right management.”
Your answering smile comes far too easily. You like seeing James like this. You don’t think he’s ever not himself, but as soon as Sirius got here it’s like he dialed up to eleven. And he obviously loves his friends, entertaining them, making them laugh. You can see why, too. They’re an easy bunch to talk to.
It probably helps that James has been practically tipping ciders down your throat (he hasn’t; he’s offered them to you, and you’ve gulped them down like the nervous freak you are), but you’re actually having a good time. You felt a bit indebted after he’d bought you a pizza last week and you’d still chickened out of coming downstairs, but now you’re glad you’re here.
Your body feels loose and liquidy, and your shoulder is just starting to hurt from the position you’re in (which makes you wonder how long James’ ribs have been hurting from your shoulder digging into them) when he looks down at you again. He seems amused.
“You comfy down there?” he asks.
“Meh.” It’s an honest answer.
“Here.” He brings his arm to your shoulder, propping you up and then scooching closer to you on the couch. Now you’re not in his armpit so much as under his arm, which drops from where it’s draped across the back of the couch to squeeze your shoulder reassuringly. “Better?”
“Yeah.” Even the social lubricant of alcohol can’t keep the nervous edge from your voice. “Thanks.”
“Course, love.” He gives your shoulder another little squeeze, beaming as he focuses back on the conversation.
Your chest hurts, a gratifying ache.
You manage to down another cider before his friends start saying their goodbyes, Sirius and Remus each whipping out a cigarette as soon as they’re outside while Lily and Mary fake cough and James heckles them lovingly from the doorway.
When he shuts the door he’s still smiling, so obviously content you can’t help but feel a crush of affection for him.
“Thanks for inviting me,” you say, grabbing a rag to clean up where Mary had accidentally spilled a bit of her drink.
“Of course, I told you you’re always—what are you doing?”
He sounds so affronted you actually think you’ve done something wrong. You look up from where you’re mopping up the spill, confused.
“I’m cleaning everything from tonight,” he says, still looking outraged.
You smile in relief when you realize it’s feigned. “Don’t be stupid. I was participating tonight, too.”
“You make it sound like you were an accomplice to some crime.” James sits down beside you and steals the rag from your hand, cleaning up the rest of the spill himself. “You’re off the hook, you were practically coerced.”
“I was,” you agree, standing and gathering the dishes from the coffee table instead, “but it was fun in the end. I’m a little bit glad you coerced me.”
You can hear James’ smile in his voice. “I’ll be sure to do it more often. First, I’m gonna coerce you into hanging out with us again on Friday, and then—“ He turns around, eyes narrowing as he spots the couple of glasses you’re carrying “—stop picking up my mess! Fuck, I can’t keep up with you, you’re like a machine.”
A giggle fizzes out of you. James stands and holds his hands out for them, but you take a couple of steps back. “Why can’t I help? Anyway, you’re just as clean as I am.”
“Because, it was my idea,” he laughs, pursuing you. “And I’m only clean because you’re clean.” He backs you up against the stairs, wrestling the glasses away from you with frustrating ease. “If I thought you didn’t care, this whole place would look like the inside of my room.”
You give an odd bark of laughter, leaning on the banister to look at him. He looks ridiculously smug, both glasses held in one big hand. “Oh my god, you’re so nice. It’s pathological.”
“Wow.” Some of the smugness falls away as James grins at you. “That’s a real one.”
“What?”
“Your smile,” he says. You still don’t get how he can do this eye contact thing, looking at you so openly while he seems so sincere. Your own gaze flees downward, warmth rushing to your cheeks. “I don’t get to see it a lot, out in the open like that. It’s really lovely.”
He reaches for you, doing this weird chin-pinching thing that shouldn’t be half as endearing as it is. You roll your eyes, but your mouth seems stuck. You don’t know how to respond.
James doesn’t seem to notice, taking the glasses with him into the kitchen. You grab a few more off the table and follow him. He’s turned the light above the sink on, but the rest of the kitchen is dim. His long sleeves are pushed up to his elbows as he makes soapy water in the sink.
As you come in, he turns around to take the glasses from you, the light from above casting a glowy halo of his thick brown hair. He’s so beautiful it makes your stomach hurt. You’re suddenly worried you might be just inebriated enough to do something stupid.
James narrows his eyes at you teasingly as he snatches the glasses away. “Enough of that,” he scolds.
“Are you sure you don’t want any more help?” you ask.
He rolls his eyes. You’re pretty sure he didn’t do that so much before he started hanging out with you. On him, it somehow manages to look fond. “Positive,” he says. “Go stop being useful.”
You catch yourself biting the inside of your lip. “Okay. Then I think I’m gonna head up for the night.”
“Yeah?” James looks over, and you wonder for a second if something in your voice has given you away. He looks confused, a bit worried, but then that melds into a soft sweetness. He gives you a smile. “Okay. Sweet dreams.”
“You too,” you say, doing your best to smile in response before you round the corner to the stairs.
Your brain feels fuzzy. You’re not sure if that’s from alcohol or fatigue or something else entirely, but it feels good to put on your pajamas, clean your face in front of the mirror. The covers on your bed are soft and heavy. You can hear the kitchen sink running downstairs as you slip beneath them, James finally starting to rinse the dishes before he turns in for the night, too.
You think of his boisterous laugh, the weight of his arm around your shoulders, his thumb pressing into your chin.
When you close your eyelids, you half expect to find a faint outline of his smile impressed upon the insides.
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