#i NEVER finish themed weeks and i always feel so terrible but also?? 7 fics in like a month?? when i have so far posted 8 (v short) fics in-
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now the question is. am i going to study for my test that is 40% of my grade. or am i gonna write for zukka week
#the answer is zukka week btw#ill probably start studying like. the day before its fine#what is NOT fine is that i have only 2 fics written out of 7. thats bad actually#at least its very bad for my brain i cant handle it#i NEVER finish themed weeks and i always feel so terrible but also?? 7 fics in like a month?? when i have so far posted 8 (v short) fics in-#-like 3 years? thats so fucking many#i need to not be so hard on myself but its HARD because i have such high standards for myself wahoo perfectionism#but at least i wanna finish this 3rd fic that i started bc i think itll be rlly good !!!!#the others im not very sure about .. maybe my day 5 idea could be okay#but the rest is very much not fleshed out and i just dont have great ideas i feel like#so yeah we'll see!#i am now going to. try to write and / or scroll thru tumblr :) thank u (or not) for reading <3#s.txt
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Something About You
Summary: He has been going on dates, meeting new people online, wanting to find the girl of his dreams. But so far, all of them whom he met either have nothing in common with him or has a lot of common interest except cats. He has 3 cats so he could never imagine dating someone who would never get along with his cats. Turns out, the girl he has been dreaming about happens to be a lot closer than he think.
Theme: University au, partial strangers to friends to lovers
Genre: Fluffy fluff
WC: 4.2k
Pairing: Lee Minho x Fem!Reader
a/n: Hello! I’m back with a new fic. Hope you enjoy!
“So, how was your date?” Chan asked his roommate who had just entered their shared apartment looking just as tired and done as his pet cats. The boy simply frowned, kicking off his shoes and went straight to their living room only to crash on the couch next to where the older boy was seated with his laptop in his lap, probably just composing new tracks.
“Horrible. Probably won’t be getting back to her anytime soon.” Minho shrugged before taking out his phone only to scroll through YouTube of cat videos.
Just then, a soft meow came from below his feet only for Soonie to hop into Minho’s lap and purred when he stroked its head to its tail in a loving motion. Chan let out a soft chuckle. He had a hunch on why this date didn’t work out just like the rest of Minho’s date.
“Was she another one of those girls who are scared of cats?” Chan asked but Minho’s face turned into a scowl.
“Worse. Can you believe she actually kicked the poor kitty away when all it wanted was a pet from her? God, how can some people be so awful?!” Minho grunted in annoyance, making Chan gasp in shock.
He has heard about all Minho’s past dates being scared of cats and sometimes even running away from them but never did he think someone would actually harm the poor animal.
“Geez, yeah, she is definitely out of your list then.”
“Tell me about it.” Minho rolled his eyes as he got up to take a warm shower after a terrible first date.
The next morning, Y/N got woken up by her blaring alarm that has been going off for the past 5 minutes. Her morning lecture was in an hour but her roommate and also her close friend, Sana had already left since she had classes slightly earlier. She forced herself out of bed, only to shower and change into a comfortable outfit that was campus appropriate.
She managed to stop by the café right outside her apartment to get her morning dose of caffeine before walking to campus that was conveniently 20 minutes away from where they lived.
Y/N arrived on campus 5 minutes before her first class, making her way straight to class on the opposite side of the back entrance. Y/N was a CS major while Sana was a Psych major, hence the different schedules. She wasn’t really an outgoing type of girl, but she’s not exactly an introvert either.
Y/N has never been the one to start a random conversation with someone first. But, once she feels comfortable with a person, she can joke and chat for hours and never get tired of it.
She was a shy yet friendly girl at the same time and that’s what makes Sana befriend her so easily.
Above else, Y/N was a very sporty girl and she loved playing netball. Hence, the reason why she was the Team Captain of Konkuk U girl’s netball team. Sana wasn’t in the sport but she always came down to support her best friend if they had any tournaments for that season. Hours passed and Y/N had just finished her classes, only to receive a text from Sana, telling her to meet at the cafeteria.
Y/N entered the cafeteria hall with her laptop in one hand and her phone in the other, just scrolling through her twitter when she came to a stop at the entrance to try and find her friend.
When she spotted her blonde haired roommate standing by a table where there were at least 8 guys seated at, she knew it was Sana’s best guy friend.
Y/N walked as her eyes were trained to her phone screen but her feet brought her exactly to where Sana was. She didn’t realise where she was walking until she heard Sana’s adorable voice calling out her name.
“Y/N!”
The said girl froze in her spot, seeing that she was just 2 feet away from her and the guys.
Y/N simply smiled, proceeding to join Sana by the side of the table, only for her eyes to naturally travel to the people seated at the table. If she could admit, she was currently staring at two rows of handsome looking guys.
“Babe! This is my best friend I told you about! This is Chan. Chan, this is my roommate and best friend, Y/N!” Sana introduced them to each other, only for Chan to smile. He stuck his hand out, making Y/N shake it gently.
“Hello. It’s nice to finally meet you!” Chan said as a smile appeared on his face.
“Hey, nice to meet you too.” Y/N mimicked his expression, something she normally did when she just met someone.
“Don’t mind her, she’s just shy!” Sana explained and some of the boys found themselves smiling at this remark. Just then, Y/N’s eyes seemed to find it’s own way towards Minho who was seated at the very end of the table. Of course she doesn’t know him, but he did attract her eye for being quite cute. Probably even cuter than the others.
“Okay guys, I’ll see you later. Y/N let’s go! I’m starving!” Sana giggled as she bid the boys goodbye before linking her arms with her roommate and soon dragged her down the cafeteria aisle.
“You didn’t tell us your best friend’s friend is cute too?!” Jisung said, causing Chan to shrug.
“Sorry guys, cause I didn’t know either.” Chan teased, making Jisung roll his eyes but a small chuckle left his lips right after.
A few weeks passed and as expected, Y/N often rejected Sana’s offer of joining her to hang out with the guys not because she didn’t like them. It was because she was shy and Sana of course understood this but she never pressed on it. Instead, she gave Y/N the chance to willingly join if she wanted to without any pressure.
However, it was a Thursday late afternoon and the girl’s netball team was having a tournament that day. As promised, Sana came down to support Y/N and her team. Except this time, she made sure to tag all the boys along and they came without a single doubt.
Y/N was just doing her warm up when she glanced over to the bleachers, that’s when she saw Sana and the rest of the guys on the fourth and fifth rows of the bleachers.
Y/N didn’t know why but she found herself instantly smiling when she saw that they came down to support her. Just then, Sana happened to look over and she locked eyes with Y/N, making her wave her hand up high as she let out a soft giggle.
She responded back with a small wave while some of the guys did the same.
Right at that moment, she locked eyes with Minho who was seated in the seat just below Sana. For some reason, she could feel her heartbeat speeding up in her chest.
Almost an hour later, it’s the final round and it was between Konkuk U and Sogang U. Y/N currently sat on the ground beside the bench where her team members were seated.
“Alright girls. I have a lot of faith in you guys but let’s switch some of you so that you guys get to participate in the games fair and square.” Y/N announced to her teammates who then nodded, waiting for her next command. After switching 3 of the players and Y/N was satisfied with this, the 7 players soon cheered before going to the court.
The game started and it already got pretty intense.
Sogang U was winning by a thread but Y/N tried to keep the game in their court. Right when Yeri was about to toss the ball towards Y/N who was sprinting forwards, a member from the Sogang team forcefully threw themselves against her form.
Y/N practically got thrown across the court when she crashed onto the ground with an awful loud thud before she slid to a stop.
At the fall, she managed to hit her head on the ground from the impact, causing her to go lightheaded for a brief moment. A series of gasps were heard from the crowd, watching her press her forehead against the ground as a hiss left her lips.
The girl who shoved her, only smirked before they continued the game.
“Oh no…” Sana whispered as they stared at Y/N’s limp body. Just then, Yeri ran to her team captain, only for her to gasp asking if she wanted to swap with anyone on the team. Y/N brushed her off when Yeri helped her up, only to hear that Sogang U scored another point.
She rubbed her temple slightly, wincing in pain but nonetheless told Yeri that she was okay. Just then, their coach shouted at Y/N to swap with Irene but Y/N gave him a shake of her head followed by an ‘okay’ sign and soon resumed the game. Her friends watched anxiously as Minho couldn’t keep his eyes off her.
“Why won’t you just rest?” He whispered under his breath when he saw her jog to get the ball.
A few moments later, the same opponent from Sogang U targeted Y/N again, pushing Y/N by her shoulders. Y/N almost lost her balance but she swiftly threw the ball over their heads, towards Lisa on the other side of the court.
The girl snarled at Y/N but she gave the girl a soft smirk before raising an eyebrow up to taunt her.
A few runs later, the girl purposely tripped Y/N, making her accidentally fall backwards with her ass hitting the ground hard. Y/N glared at the girl, only to hear a few seconds later that Konkuk U was taking the victory trophy.
The girls were just walking back to their side of the hall when somebody roughly turned her around and threw a snarky remark to her and her team.
“Better luck next time, when I actually get you on the bench. That way my team for sure can win that trophy.” The girl said before she gave Y/N’s cheek a few slaps. Y/N’s friends who saw this were furious as Chan and Felix practically had to hold Sana back. Y/N scoffed, watching the girls of Sogang U continue walking while Y/N’s teammates comforted her, telling her it’s okay.
Once everyone in the bleachers were leaving, Y/N was just wiping her neck from the sweat when Sana came running to her with her arms open. Sana gave her a few words of comfort, telling her not to be too affected by whatever that girl said. After the tournament was over and their coach had dismissed them, she took her duffle bag. They were walking towards the entrance of the hall when her vision suddenly went black and her head was pounding.
A soft groan left her lips when she nearly collapsed down to the left side but someone was quick to catch her and it was Minho. He wrapped an arm around her waist while the other hand reached for her forearm that was clutching onto her head.
“Woah. Are you okay?” His voice soft, laced with obvious worry.
Y/N nodded, letting Sana help Minho hold her as they each held her on either side. Outside the campus’ back entrance, Minho asked if Y/N was strong enough to walk back to her apartment with Sana alone and she said yes.
Sana told the boys she would update them if anything happened along the way. But the girls ended up going home safely, only for her to recover in just two days.
A week passed and it was a Saturday night, where Sana told Y/N she would be out with her boyfriend. Y/N decided to head to a nearby library to study since the campus was closed on weekends. It was already nearing 10pm, probably the reason why she kept yawning every 5 minutes.
“Maybe I should head home.” She thought as she began to slowly pack her bags and soon left.
The boys on the other hand had just finished checking out the new steakhouse downtown. Simply hanging out without having alcohol involved.
They were just walking down the dimly lit street, their voices were probably the only audible sounds currently apart from the cars driving past every few minutes. The street was quite empty, they could literally count with their fingers on how many people they’ve passed by.
They were just talking about some soccer league when Minho’s eyes travelled towards the alley down the road, only to see a girl petting what looks to be a stray cat.
His eyes lit up as a smile tugged on his lips.
He has never seen anyone openly pet a stray cat around this area before so he was quite surprised to say the least. Nevertheless, he smiled brightly as he quickened his pace, telling the boys to meet up with him at that alley where the cat and unknown girl was.
Minho briskly walked towards the alley, only to be met with a very familiar face.
“Y/N?”
At the mention of her name, she turned to look up towards the guy standing by the sidewalk, currently looking down at her just gently scratching the cat’s ears.
“Minho? Hey…” She smiled and she could feel her heartbeat pick up speed.
“What are you doing out here at this late timing alone?” He asked, genuinely worried.
“I was at the library studying. I‘m on my way home actually.” She admitted, only to feel her cheeks heat up. Just then, she heard Chan’s voice from behind her, making her turn around.
“Y/N? Is that you?” Chan asked, making her giggle with a nod.
“Where were you headed?” He asked.
But before she could answer, a soft meow echoed down the street as the cat pressed it’s head into Y/N’s open hands, making her giggle.
This small gesture was enough to make the boys smile, and maybe Minho’s heart to flutter.
“I actually just told Minho that I was about to head home from the library, when this adorable little one just started following me from down the block and I don’t think it’s gonna leave my side anytime soon.” Y/N said with a soft sigh. The cat meowed yet again as though responding to her.
Minho tilted his head to the side in confusion upon hearing her sigh when she looked down at the pretty brown fur ball before scratching the side of the cat’s face again.
“As much as you’re super adorable, I can’t take you home with me, baby.” Her voice was soft. The cat simply purred with soft round eyes staring back at her. Her words came as a shock to some of them but curious to the remaining.
“Wait, why can’t you?” Minho asked.
“I’m actually sensitive to cats.” She confessed, only for Minho’s heart to blossom. She’s sensitive to cats and yet she still pets them and even showers them with love? Where has she been all his life?
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Is it bad though?” Hyunjin asked, only for her to shake her head.
“I can touch them, but if I stay too long in an enclosed area with them, my skin will start to get red and itchy, and my nose would start to get runny.” Y/N said pressing her lips in a thin line, making the guys nod, feeling bad for her.
Just then, Minho squats down beside her figure only to stretch his arm over to pet the cat and the little fur ball just willingly went over to him. The cat rubs its face against Minho’s knees and thighs. Y/N couldn’t help but smile when she saw just how equally loving he was towards it. At that very moment, Minho just happened to look up only to catch her looking at him.
A small little bubble burst in the pit of his stomach as she soon tickled the cat’s lower back, making it go to her.
Y/N giggled when the cat stood on its hind legs, pressing its two front paws on her collarbone, making her laugh. Y/N cupped the fur ball’s face and soon caressed it sweetly before she nuzzled her nose against the cat’s pink ones, only for the cat to meow in her face.
“Looks like it really loves you Y/N.” Chan said, making her laugh.
However, her smile was soon wiped off and a soft frown appeared on her face. But this didn’t go unnoticed by Minho. So he suggested something quite smart.
“I have an idea. We’ll distract it while you quickly head back home. You know? To avoid it from following you?” Minho said, making the rest of them nod in agreement. She stared at the cat for slightly too long before she locked eyes with Minho, only for her to mouth to him softly.
“Thank you.”
With that being said, the rest of the boys slowly began to huddle around the cat while Y/N carefully got up and tiptoed her way down the street in the direction of her apartment.
She glanced back when she was reaching the traffic junction, only to catch Minho staring at her with a very soft expression. After she finally turned the corner, Changbin couldn’t help but speak up while the rest were busy pouring their attention on the cat.
“Damn, she’s pretty, she’s a team captain, she’s nice, AND she loves cats even though she’s allergic to it? I think you’ve found your match made in heaven, hyung.” He ended with his usual smirk, wiggling his eyebrows to Minho only for the elder boy to huff although he knew deep down that what Changbin said was right.
Y/N went home that night only to find her mind going back to when Minho looked so in love with the cat. Why did that make him look so… so endearing?
She smiled to herself thinking about how happy he looked when the cat was practically smearing its scent all over him. Y/N simply shook her head off of the thoughts and soon took a fresh shower before heading to bed, with Sana still nowhere to be seen.
Ever since that night, Y/N slowly began to warm up with the guys more. Especially Minho since it seemed as though they could literally talk about cats for hours. She found out later that he owned 3 cats in his shared apartment with Chan and that they were basically his children. She couldn’t help but laugh despite finding that extremely cute.
Y/N was added to their group chat which had the boys and Sana in it, only for her to exchange numbers with Minho as well. It has been 3 months since they’ve gotten closer and needless to say, Minho started to fall for her as the days go by and so did she.
It was currently a Saturday evening and both her and Sana got invited to Chan’s place to just hangout and chill, in which the girls agreed without a second thought.
Y/N wore her denim ripped skinny jeans, a shirt tucked in, a black jacket and her converse. Sana wore an open shoulder dress and a pair of vans since she was just a very girly girl compared to Y/N.
They arrived at Chan’s shared apartment, only for her to find out that Minho had kept his cats in his room. Something he doesn’t do whenever any of them come over.
Perhaps he cared for her and he didn’t want her to get sick for coming to their house.
Despite the teasing coming from his friends, he simply ignored them. He brushed them off by saying that he was just trying to be nice. When the girls entered the apartment, immediately, Y/N could already feel her nose being tickled by the atmosphere thanks to the cats living in that space.
But it wasn’t too serious yet but still, a small sneeze left her lips.
They greeted the guys who were in the living room when Minho came out of his room in just grey sweatpants, a tank top and his cutely tousled hair.
As soon as Minho locked eyes with Y/N, he froze in his spot. He saw the small smile on her face, making him shy all of a sudden. A few minutes later, they were all just gathered in the living room when Y/N turned to Minho who was seated on the floor beside her feet.
“Min ah, where’s your cats?” She asked. Minho felt himself tense up at the nickname but quickly regained himself.
“They’re in my room. Why? You wanna see them?” He asked, not realizing that some of them were actually watching them from their respective seats discreetly. Y/N smiled as she gave him a cute little nod. He could’ve sworn his heart jumped out of his chest for a bit. Nonetheless, he brought her to his closed bedroom only to push the door open and was instantly greeted by the soft jingle sounds of their collars.
Y/N smiled as 2 of the fur balls ran up to Minho and her. Making him quickly close the door behind him. Both of them kneeled down onto the ground when the dark grey cat began to nuzzle against her legs, while the light golden one hopped into Minho’s arms effortlessly.
“They’re so cute! What are their names?” She asked as she scratched the grey cat behind its ear, earning a soft purr from it.
“The one in your lap is Dori. This is Soonie. And that sleeping one is Doongie.” Minho introduced when he heard a soft squeak from her in excitement, causing him to chuckle. A blush crept onto his cheeks.
“How long have you had them for?” She asked curiously as Dori snuggled into her chest, making her pout.
“I’ve had them since I was young. When I went off to college, I told my parents I wanted to bring them with me. So, here we are.” Minho said, making her giggle thinking that his story was very cute.
Just then, Dori licked the tip of Y/N’s nose, catching her off guard.
She let out a soft giggle, turning her head towards Minho with her eyes crinkled shut. He found this extremely cute. When she fluttered her eyelids back open, she was met with him staring at her with a warm smile on his face.
She got shy so she turned to look back down at Dori, scratching the back of its ear. Soonie left Minho’s lap as he turned to her and Dori, only for him to give a few scratches to Dori’s head. Just then, Minho leaned in to rub his face into Dori’s body. Y/N giggled, watching him interact with his own pet.
Just then, he pulled away from Dori, taking this chance to turn his head towards her.
But for some reason, it felt like a mistake with how close their faces were from each other. It was almost as if they could feel each other’s breath fanning their lips and unfortunately for them, it was true. The room fell silent as nobody dared to say a word.
For some odd reason, Minho felt brave enough to actually lean in closer.
Y/N watched very carefully as he closed the gap until she could feel his lips brushing against hers very lightly. At that very second, she closed her eyes, afraid to continue looking. Minho saw this and he began to smile, thinking she was adorable.
So he decided not to dwell on this and instead, he firmly pressed his lips on hers. Her breath hitched in her throat. She soon found herself melting against his lips. Minho’s arm found its way around her waist as he pulled her closer, until she could feel Dori jump out of her lap.
She pulled away when her stomach got pressed by Dori’s paws when it leaped off, causing him to chuckle.
“Sorry about that.” He apologized, only for her to smile.
“It’s fine.” She said with a soft little smile, only for him to blush as he kissed her again, this time reaching up to cup her face in his hand. Her heart was racing against her chest when he felt her rest her hands on his chest. Minho pulled away, having to force himself not to get too intoxicated by her soft, crème brûlée tasting lips thanks to her lip balm.
“Can I take you out on a date tomorrow?” He asked, only for her to giggle.
“Will you bring me to see your babies again?” She said.
“That depends.” He teased, making her laugh as he soon did the same. She smiled against his lips when she kissed him again, feeling extremely happy. They came back out to find the rest of them smirking. They asked why the two of them were taking their own sweet time in there, only for Minho to smirk.
“Maybe because I’m going on a date with the cutest, sweetest girl I’ve ever met who loves cats as much as I do?” Minho said, only for the rest of them to cheer happily for the new couple. Y/N blushed as she hid her face in Minho’s arm, causing him to chuckle but he simply hugged her and kissed her forehead endearingly.
Looks like he managed to find the girl of his dreams anyway.
#stray kids#stray kids minho#stray kids lee know#lee know fluff#lee minho fluff#lee know scenarios#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#skz lee know#skz minho fluff#skz x reader#skz minho#lee minho scenarios
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bittersweet {7}
pairing: boxer!bucky x rogers!reader
warnings: swearing, mild talks of dark themes, mention of suggestive themes. a more serious chapter so no fluff sadly :/
synopsis: The world of boxing wasn’t something you knew much about, but after a certain boxer with blue eyes and an irresistible charm wove his way into your heart, you soon learned that it went far deeper than red gloves and gold medals. You thought that boxer happening to be your brother’s best friend was bad enough, but unfortunately for you, the worst had yet to come.
a/n: ok so some stuff is revealed in this chapter, and i feel like there isn’t long to go before the end of this fic! i was thinking maybe chapter ten will be the last?? idk, we’ll see😌 please enjoy :)
Series Masterlist
When Bucky arrived at the gym to meet his best friend, he wasn’t surprised to find him knocking the living shit out of a punching bag.
It brought him back to when Steve first started boxing, and Bucky first saw him letting off steam in a training room on his own. He was skinnier then, had terrible technique, was doing more harm to himself than the punching bag.
“Christ, punk. You trying to knock the bag off the ceiling?”
The blond only shot him a glare, stopping momentarily before shaking out his hands an proceeding to beat at the bag.
“I could help you train if you want,” Bucky pressed. “You’ve got the energy down, but I could help you with your technique-”
“I’m not lookin’ to train right now,” The man suddenly interrupted. “Thanks... but I’m just lettin’ off some steam; just need to be alone for a while.”
Bucky was silent for a moment. He didn’t pity the blond; clearly he did need to let his feelings out, and hitting a bag was a much healthier way to do that than hurting himself or anyone else.
“Well, you can come and train in the main gym whenever you want.” The brunet gave him a small smile. “I’m Bucky, by the way.”
The blond hesitated for a mere second, before nodding vaguely in acknowledgment. “Steve.”
“Steve?” Bucky called out, pushing away the feeling of deja vu.
His head snapped towards his friend, the sound of his heavy breaths filling the room as he stopped ramming his fists into the bag.
“You trying to knock the bag of the ceiling?”
Despite his pent up anger, the familiar comment elicited a scoff from the blond. The moment of amusement was long forgotten however, as he remembered what he’d wanted to discuss with Bucky. There was no point in beating around the bush, because Steve didn’t have time to pretend that everything was okay for a moment longer. He knew that one day Rumlow would contact him again, but he never knew it’d be like this — your safety on the line.
Cracking his knuckles nervously, Steve met Bucky’s eye. “I’m fighting Rumlow next week.”
That was new information to the brunet, despite him having heard Steve’s conversation with you. “You talked to him?”
The blond nodded reluctantly, turning back to continue throwing hits at the punching bag. “He knows about (Y/N), he talked to her. He... he wants her.”
Bucky furrowed his brows, the vague comment somehow managing to make his blood run cold. “What do you mean wants her?”
“When I left his gym, the deal was that he wanted one match with me, and he got to decide what the prize was,” Steve clenched his jaw, slamming his fists a little harsher against the bag. “The guy already has enough cash; he didn’t need any more from me. He’s been waiting for two years for something he actually wants from me, and now, that’s (Y/N). He wants her to be one of his girls. One of his pawns in that sick fucking ring.”
Biting the inside of his cheek, Bucky approached the punching bag, holding it to ensure that in his rage Steve didn’t actually knock the bag off the ceiling. It still took him by surprise whenever his friend mentioned being a part of Rumlow’s gym; not that he mentioned it often. It was a dark part of his life, a part he desperately wished that he could leave in his past, but it somehow always seemed to linger in his shadow.
Sure, it made Bucky’s stomach turn that Brock Rumlow had his eyes on you as the prize, but if Steve won the match, then he’d never get to you, right? “But you’ll win, Steve. You’ll win by a mile-”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Buck,” The blond interrupted, lips curling into a frown. “When have you ever known Rumlow to play by the rules? He doesn’t take part in matches that he doesn’t plan to win, trust me.”
Bucky could feel frustration building in his body at his friend’s lack of confidence, but he tried to remain as calm as possible; the last thing he needed was to make Steve even more stressed than he already was. “Well he can’t just have your sister, Steve. Even if that jackass plays dirty and wins, there has to be a way-”
“Bucky,” The blond intervened again, his voice low. The punching bag went still as Steve stepped away from it, clenching and unclenching his fists. “When I worked for Pierce, I... I fucked up. I fucked up really bad, and if Rumlow wins this fight and I don’t go through with the deal...”
“He has something on you,” Bucky stated, earning a cautious nod from Steve. “Is it that bad?”
“Rumlow, Pierce, every other guy in that gym — they all despise me. They hate me for leaving the ring. If they can ruin my life and make me regret ever steppin’ foot out of that place, then they’ll do it happily.”
“Well, why haven’t they done it already?” Bucky questioned. “Why’re they makin’ you fight if they can expose what they have on you anyway?”
“With... what they have on me, they know they can make me do whatever they want, and they’re using it to make me go through with the deal. By going through with the match and sticking to the deal, it means that if Rumlow wins, I have to... let them take my sister. Cause if I don’t, then they can expose what they have and there’s no way of stopping them.”
Bucky inhaled, thinking hard. Whatever they had on Steve, it must’ve been really fucking bad for him to be so easily running out of ways to fix the situation. “What is it, Steve? What do they have that’s so bad?”
The blond was hesitant to let his past spill, even to his best friend. But if anyone was going to know what happened, what he did, it could only be Bucky. He couldn’t repress his past anymore, not when it was putting his future on the line, your future on the line.
So with a heavy exhale, Steve met his friend’s eyes tentatively, and he began to speak.
* * *
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I think I just heard you say that you’re dating your brother’s best friend.”
“You said you wouldn’t judge me, Nat,” You groaned, pathetically smacking the redhead’s knee from where you were sat cross-legged across from her on your bed. “And I wasn’t finished. As a cover-up, I, uh... might’ve told Steve that... I’m dating Peter Quill instead?”
You chewed on your bottom lip, watching as the girl stared at you speechlessly. Natasha had arrived at your apartment not long after Bucky had left, and since she’d been around, your mind had strayed from the topic of Steve and his involvement with Brock Rumlow, which was good, considering there wasn’t really anything you could do about it. You’d decided to trust Bucky in that he’d help your brother, and with your best friend distracting you from your worries, you were feeling a little more relaxed.
That was until Nat had been asking about your boxer boyfriend, which she was bound to get too curious about eventually — you couldn’t blame her, since she was your best friend and she was dying to know the details of your first proper relationship.
You figured that telling her was going to be inevitable, and with the stress on your shoulders of keeping the relationship from Steve, you thought it’d help to relieve it by confiding in Natasha about it. You knew she’d be shocked, you were just hoping she wouldn’t give you an earful about how incredibly wrong it was, because you’d been aware of that from the moment Bucky first lead you into the locker room at the gym.
After around ten seconds of Natasha contemplating internally, she let out a light breath. “You really don’t want Steve to know, huh?”
“It’s not that I don’t want him to know,” You sighed, fiddling with you fingers. “He’s just... got a lot on his plate right now. What if he hates me for it? Or Bucky? What if I’ve ruined a friendship because the one guy that I’ve ever truly liked just so happens to be my brother’s best friend?”
“Honestly, I don’t think he’s gonna be happy when he finds out,” She started, quickly continuing as she observed your eyes widening with worry. “But he’ll just have to get used to it, if you think Bucky really is... it for you. I mean, if he’s fine with you dating Peter Quill...”
You’d also taken it upon yourself to let Peter know of the... new relationship you had as soon as possible. You didn’t think you could do it face to face, or even over the phone, so you settled for a simple text reading ‘Hey, Peter. If my brother asks, we’re dating, okay? Me and you, boyfriend and girlfriend. Not for real, but I’ll explain that at college. See you Monday!’
If you’d gotten a reply, you hadn’t known, since you’d switched your phone onto silent mode and focused your full attention onto your best friend.
You chuckled quietly, rolling your eyes. “You really think he’ll be fine with it eventually?”
“Eventually, yes,” A reassuring smile spread on her lips. “It’s like if I started dating your brother and had hid it from you, wouldn’t you initially feel betrayed?”
“I’d think it was hilarious, considering how you had a little crush on him last year-”
Scrunching her nose, Nat narrowed her eyes at you. “Hey, I thought you agreed to never bring that up again.”
“Sorry, you were kinda asking for it.”
“Bitch,” She mumbled under her breath, prompting you to smack her knee again. “Alright, alright, sorry. Seriously though, Steve loves you. After the initial anger, I’m sure he’ll be happy that it’s Bucky you’re dating. He knows how good of a guy he is, maybe the only guy your brother won’t threaten to castrate if he breaks your heart.”
That got a hearty laugh out of you, making the redhead smile. Maybe so, you thought — you hoped.
By the way Nat was looking at you, eyebrows raised slightly and lips pursed, you could tell that she was desperate dive into the specifics of how things were with you and Bucky.
Failing to suppress the grin tugging at your lips, you sighed. “Go on, what do you wanna know?”
“Alright, uh...” She pondered, too many questions whirling around in her mind already. “Where was your first date?”
“The Fall Carnival, after he won the match Steve took me to.”
“Is that why you have like, a hundred stuffed animals on your bed?”
Your eyes flickered to the numerous teddy bears and other stuffed animals you’d sat against the headboard, a constant reminder of how you couldn’t have asked for a better first date with Bucky. “...yes.”
“Okay, have you seen him shirtless?”
“Uh-huh.” Yet with how your heart raced every time it happened, you’d have thought that every time was the first time.
“Have you seen him pantless?”
“Oh my- no, I haven’t.”
“So, you haven’t sucked his dick yet?”
Your jaw dropped involuntarily as Natasha snickered. “I swear your mind is always in the damn gutter, Natasha.”
She scoffed, leaning forward on her elbows. “Okay, you can stop with the innocent act right now. I see you zoning out in class, babe. You think I don’t know what you’re daydreaming about? Or should I say fantasizing?”
Feeling your face grow hot, you dropped your gaze to your hands. Nat wasn’t exactly wrong; maybe your mind did get a little distracted during class, and maybe Bucky was that distraction.
It was something you’d thought about, furthering the sexual aspect of your relationship with Bucky, and you were sure he’d at least thought about it too. It wasn’t like you were inexperienced, you’d done things here and there with guys who you at first thought weren’t douchebags, but inevitably became ones when they got what they wanted. You’d never went through with... the full deed, but from what you had done, you’d decided you wanted to wait to do it with someone who you really cared for, and who felt the same way for you. And since Bucky was probably in the God tier of men in modern-day America, there was no doubt in your mind that you wanted it to be him.
Right now, however, you weren’t sure it was the best time to have that conversation. When all of it was over, and you knew that your brother was safe, then things could possibly progress.
After eventually managing to steer the conversation away from the topic of your sex life, you and Nat settled down to watch a movie in the living room. With your socked feet resting in your friends’ lap, you flicked through the selection of movies on Netflix, reading out the titles for the girl to decide on.
“How about Titanic?”
“Seen it a hundred times.”
“Spider-man?”
“Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield? And which movie?”
“Tobey Maguire, third movie.”
“Hm... anything else?”
You breathed out a chuckle. “Alright... Dirty Dancing?”
The redhead’s eyes flicked from her phone to the television, an interested smile on her lips. “Patrick Swayze, my man.”
“Dirty Dancing it is.”
As you’d just pressed play and started the film, Natasha’s phone began to ring loudly. You groaned, telling her to put it on silent, but she answered it anyway, mouthing a ‘sorry, it’s my boss’ before greeting the man politely.
You sighed impatiently, glancing at your own phone from where it was placed on the coffee table. There were enough texts from Peter when you’d checked, texts you would answer in the morning after you’d hopefully gotten over the embarrassment you felt after sending the initial message. There was nothing from Bucky, though, and you weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.
“Alright, I’m on my way.”
You frowned as Nat ended the call, pulling the phone from her ear with an apologetic look. “That was Fury, he needs me down at the station.”
Glancing at the clock above the TV, you crinkled your brows. “This late?”
“Time is only an illusion to that man, he probably just needs help finding some files.” The redhead smirked, but it soon faded into a sympathetic smile as she gently lifted your legs from her lap. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). Can I take a rain check?”
“Sure. Be safe, alright?” You stood up, leading her to the front door and giving her a quick hug.
For the second time that night, you locked the front door and sighed. You were alone, again.
When she wasn’t at college, Natasha worked at the police station. You weren’t sure exactly what her job was; she seemed to be there more than you were at Sam’s tattoo shop. She wasn’t at all qualified to actually be in the force, so you assumed she just worked as an assistant or receptionist. Fury definitely had her working a lot of hours though, it was crazy to you that she could handle that much time at work on top of her classes.
Biting your lip, you shuffled back over to the couch, picking up your phone that still hadn’t received a notification from Bucky. Hopefully, that meant he was making sure Steve was alright and that’s why he wasn’t paying any attention to his phone. You could only hope that was true, and that from tonight, everything would get better rather than worse.
* * *
There was a pregnant pause. A silence so quiet, yet both of the boxer’s thoughts had never been louder in their heads.
They’d both sat down on a bench against the wall. Steve’s elbows were digging into his thighs as he leaned forward, hands clasped together tightly. His friend sat not far from him, angled so that he could look at the blond as he spoke.
There was a lot of things that Bucky wanted to say. He want to tell Steve that everyone in Pierce’s gym were pieces of shit, and that they couldn’t just threaten him like that. He wanted to tell him that he wasn’t going away for life, that Steve wouldn’t be put behind bars if that video got out because they’d find a way to explain how he’d been manipulated.
But it was foolish to think it could be solved so easily.
So instead, Bucky said something else, for your sake and your brother’s. “You need to tell your sister.”
Abruptly, the blond snapped his head towards him, a glare in his eyes. “Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that I-”
“No, no. Not that,” Bucky intervened. He didn’t think that you were too sensitive, or that you couldn’t handle hearing about what your brother was being blackmailed with. Right now, he just didn’t think it was necessary that you knew, not when it was something as serious as it was. “But, I think she should know why you’re involved with Rumlow.”
The blond just shook his head. “How am I supposed to explain that I joined an illegal fighting ring willingly, huh? What is she gonna think?”
“You had a reason, Steve. To pay bills, to buy food, to get your sister her own apartment so that she could begin building a life of her own. You didn’t know they were trafficking weapons and girls, you couldn’t have known. And when you found out, you left. (Y/N) will understand — you were just lookin’ out for her, for your family.”
Bucky remembered vividly when his friend left the gym for good. He hadn’t been that close with him then, training with him from time to time but nothing really more than that. He probably would’ve see him more if Steve hadn’t been halving his time between working in the fighting ring and training at his local gym. Well, it was more of a seventy-thirty split considering Rumlow didn’t exactly slack on making Steve train. It took the blond a while to get back into actual fighting; Bucky guessed they’d put him into some pretty brutal matches, and it took him sparring with the brunet a number of times before he took on a professional opponent.
Partially, he blamed himself for Steve joining the ring. He knew he shouldn’t, but he was the one who told him to stay away from Pierce’s gym. That they boxed for unholy amounts of money, that it was barely even boxing, more like beating each other until one person was almost dead. Then, he didn’t know that Steve’s mother had passed away only a short while prior to him starting boxing and that he was hardly making enough money to support himself, never mind his seventeen-year-old sister at the time too. If he knew that Steve would join the ring purely for money to survive, he would’ve told him that it was the worst thing he could do, even for so much cash.
Bucky knew that first hand.
Steve’s expression had softened, but he still seemed unconvinced. “Buck, she’s just a kid. I... I can’t just unload all of this shit onto her. She has classes to focus on, she has a job-”
“Steve,” The boxer cut him off, an earnest look on his face. “With the risk (Y/N) is at right now, college should be the least of her concerns. If... if she could really get dragged into this mess, she has the right to know.”
The blond was torn. He popped his knuckles again in an attempt to relieve the tension in his body, the pain being more prominent in his right hand from the bruise that was still healing there. He was about to tell Bucky that he’d think about it, when he suddenly stopped himself. A question came to mind, something he wasn’t sure why it didn’t occur to him two years ago. Something didn’t really make sense.
“How did you know about the ring?” He asked solemnly. “The only way anyone could know about it is...”
“If they’ve been a part of it,” Bucky finished for him, an almost pained look in his eye as he did so.
Steve didn’t know what to say, letting his mouth fall open slightly as his eyes darted over his friend’s face, searching for any indication that what he’d just heard wasn’t true. He didn’t find one, however.
The brunet sighed, unable to meet Steve’s eyes before he finally forced himself to.
“The reason I knew about the fighting ring... is because I was involved in it too.”
* * *
Taglist:
@asgcrds @fiannaofficial @bxrnsfeyson @peterparkerbabyyy @broco8 @hotheadbarnes @stormi-ames @founding-fuck-bois
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes au#boxer!bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky#bucky x you#bucky barnes x you#boxer!bucky
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captain allen appreciation week 2020 day 1 + 7: vacation + acceptance
notes:
i combined day 1 & 7 as they happen to be the theme of the same story. it's also a prequel to a fic that i haven't written a word yet.
a little bit background since i think things can be confusing:
allen's full name is Louis White Allen. his dad's french and his mom american, though he's raised in alaska. his sister, anna allen, is a commissioned officer in the air force. the siblings speaks both english and french fluently.
sara ryder replaces elijah kamski as the inventor of androids.
this fic is set in september 2038, about a month after connor was first deployed at the phillips' hostage situation.
tags: griefing, family issues, brief mentions of childhood neglect and parentification
ao3 link if that’s what you prefer
-----
To this day, Lou's heart hammers when he sees a call from the military. Last time he received one was ten years ago, and he ended up with more questions than answers, answers that he knows he and his father very likely will not get in their lifetime. Staring at his phone vibrating on the coffee table, Lou debates whether to induce his cats' wrath - one sleeping on his lap and the other he hasn't stopped petting since they finished dinner - by standing up and interrupting their naps. It's not like he's at his full mobility anyways; his cybernetics still needs about half an hour to sync with his nervous system properly and to download the newest software. Whoever the fuck is in charge of calling the family of a soldier who went AWOL in Göttingen can wait.
It seems that the universe has other plans, as the air suddenly becomes charged with static and the phone launches itself towards Lou's chest. The tip of his fingers are numb, a common occurrence after his and his sister's unexplainable outbursts, but he manages to catch the phone before it hits his chest or, heaven forbids, his cat, who is startled awake and promptly returns to sleep after her favourite bed has no intention to move.
He accepts the call. 'Allen speaking. I don't think I have family members in the military anymore.'
'I don't know how many of yours are with us,' the voice from the other end lacks the robotic quality of an android's, so it seems the military is still using humans to contact family members, 'but this concerns your mother, Commander Deborah White. You're the only next of kin we can reach, Mister Allen.'
Lou does sigh. Just as he thinks he can leave her behind after all these years... 'What about her?' Not that he feels strongly that she was gone, as she wasn't quite there for her family to begin with, but something about a Commander going missing on the flagship of a fleet always sits wrong with him; as poor of a mother Deborah White was, a woman with her service record didn't deserve to simply vanish. 'I thought she went MIA more than twenty years ago.'
'She was until a few hours ago. I wish I can break it to you more gently but... we found her. Her remains, at least.'
The beat of his heart suddenly becomes too overwhelming. The air swells with the familiar buzz of static, and it takes all of Lou's self-control to not break everything in the living room with a shattering hazard. There is also the urge to hang up, to pretend that this is just one of those weird dreams he never can remember the details of, because he doesn't need to be burdened with a closure; he wasn't close enough to her to want that, he tells himself. Knowing that she's gone is enough. However, 'How?' is what he says in the end. He closes his eyes, free hand buried in his cat's fur, trying to convince himself that he is doing this for his father.
'Your mother's bones were found in a sealed compartment in the USS Blue Ridge when we were scrapping her. She must've been sitting there for years. Her skull indicates that -'
'Thanks, but I don't think I need to know that,' Lou swallows, willing himself to not think of the implication of an intact skull. It would've been a horrible way to die, sitting in cold seawater for days, feeling her skin rot away before dying of starvation; he'd rather her snap her neck upon impact and go painlessly. 'Anything more?'
'Yes. How would you like to deal with the body?'
Something tickles Lou's chin. When he opens his eyes, he finds the third cat trying to squeeze himself onto his already-occupied lap and purring as if having sensed the human's distress and wanting to soothe him. He recalls how his mother joked that she would probably die at sea and his father's reluctant acceptance of the entire affair; Papa's resignation after he received the news, saying, 'At least she got what she wanted.'
'She spent most of her life at sea,' he replies. No need to rub salt on his father's wounds. 'Let her rest there as well.'
'Very well. If you wish to, a memorial will be held in two months' time. Families of other deceased will attend. You may find support there.'
Support my ass, Lou thinks. It's been twenty-something fucking years. Yet, for some reason, he still promises that he'll consider going before hanging up. His finger hovers over his father's contact afterwards, but remembering that it's midnight in France and that he has a month worth of leave accumulated, he opens his browser instead and starts searching for plane tickets.
----
A month later, Lou finds himself in the commune of Gâvres with a large backpack on his shoulder and missing his cats very dearly. They aren't even his cats, technically; his neighbours keep them as outdoor cats, and Lou, unable to stand the thought of them suffering out in the winter cold of Detroit, took them in, and now they spend more time at his than at their original owners'. Having dropped them off at Hank's - that man takes better care of his pet (now pets) than himself - Lou isn't worried - he doubts his neighbours will even notice that their cats are gone. Emotions are terrible things, however, and the purpose of this trip alone makes it different from all the time he has visited his father before. At least he hasn't just recovered from nearly dying from implant rejection this time.
'Louis?'
Lou turns when he hears his father's voice and the awkward weight reminds him that he hasn't taken off his backpack yet and has been standing in the living room of his father's house staring at nothing for the past few minutes. Not waiting for his son to take it off, Papa Allen crosses the room and embraces Lou, sweat and all. 'How are you?' he asks in French, and when Lou answers truthfully in the same language, 'I missed you,' somehow everything in the world goes right again. Fuck the deviant crisis, fuck the android-infested America that makes his nerves buzz every single waking moment, fuck absent mothers still managing to make a comeback years after she died. He's just Louis Allen, absolutely not a SWAT captain, not the only survivor of the Blast, not the pioneer/guinea pig of CyberLife's groundbreaking cybernetics technology.
He has to let go of his father. 'I hope it's okay. What I did with Mom.'
Papa sighs. 'How about you take off that thing first,' indicating the backpack, 'and settle down for now.'
So Lou walks up the stairs and deposits his backpack in the room designated as his, and, catching sight of the other bed in the room, his legs suddenly feel weak, and he lowers himself, trembling, onto his mattress. Smart, fearless Anna, whose brain always runs - ran - a lot faster than the rest of the world.
Who graduated top of her class and as the Valedictorian of the academy, and subsequently disappeared without a trace.
His left leg twitches. The feeling of something foreign using his body returns, and when he leans forward - with a difficulty that wasn't there before - to take off his sock, it reveals white and grey chassis. A stark reminder that he owes her his life two times over despite her being the younger sibling.
‘How come I’m still alive?’ was the first question he asked after he regained his voice. ‘Ryder threw a fucking building on me.’
‘I dug you out, Lulu,’ replied Anna. ‘Freaky glowy telekinesis finally has its use. I was hungry for hours afterwards.’
At that moment, Lou made the mistake of looking down and seeing his pure white leg. ‘What the hell happened to my leg?’
‘CyberLife’s newest tech.’ As if to demonstrate how he should use his new leg, she gave his feet a poke, and Lou nearly screamed from the sensation. He did not expect to feel anything at all, but apart from the looks, the leg felt...real. ‘Fucking building crushed half your pelvis, your entire left leg and a rib. It’s already minced when I uncovered you, so they need to rebuild everything from scratch. I asked them to add something that can help you control the telekinesis better as well, so we’ll need to test it out later. No more randomly exploding shit. And before you ask, yes, your junk’s unharmed.’
Lou’s coma-addled brain struggled to process the influx of information, and all he got was, ‘I should’ve died.’
Anna hit the break to what seemed to be the beginning of a technical jargon-filled rant. ‘Well yes,’ she gestured just like the meme, ‘but you lived.’
‘No one survives after being crushed by a building, Anna,’ he said, voice rising. Then he asked in French since English felt too raw, ‘Exactly how much tech is in me right now? And how long was I out for? Why did CyberLife choose me?’
She looked away.
‘Anna?’
‘I don’t fucking know, okay?’ she replied in the same language. ‘You were on the brink of death when I dug you out, and there Ryder was, offering to save your life for no cost. You were in a medically-induced coma for one month and was out for reconstruction for another. It took your body two weeks to get used to the cybernetics and...here you are.’
‘Ryder offered,’ Lou said slowly, ‘to save me? As in Sara Ryder?’
‘Yes.’
‘Anna, she was the one who threw the building on me!’
‘I know. One more reason to let her save you.’
‘But you did it anyway.’
‘I did.’
‘Even though you know it’ll probably come back to bite our asses.’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘You know the answer, Lulu.’
And Lou has stopped denying that he does a few years ago. Anna joined the Air Force to fly, to be closer to the sky, but he knows that it wasn’t enough; from the way she turned her eyes towards the aurora when they were young, the attention she paid towards all news related to space observation and exploration, to the talks about leaving the wasteland that is known as earth behind and finding a new home in the cosmos - Anna belongs to the abyss of space. The military was simply a stepping stone towards something greater, a greatness that she must be working towards somewhere on this god-forsaken piece of rock.
The place where Lou’s flesh meets his implants aches in anticipation of the storm that will no doubt force them to remain indoors for days. Grinding his teeth in the numbing pain, he uses his hands to put his non-functional left leg onto the bed and lies down sideways with his back towards his sister’s bed, his phone buzzing in his pocket to notify him of an unexpected software error that may take hours to fix. Switching on do-not-disturb, he shoves the offending piece of technology underneath his pillow and loses his fight against jet lag and pain.
----
Lou wakes up cold and hungry. He is covered by a blanket that wasn't there when he fell asleep, so his father must have checked on him when he realized that his son was doing more than putting down his luggage, and the dark sky outside the window almost brings him back again before it flashes.
Then the booming thunder reminds him that it isn't dusk at all.
He successfully rolls over on his other side, which means that his cybernetics are functional once more. Kicking the blanket away, he sits up and grimaces at the taste of his mouth.
He feels better after his regular morning rituals, though the lack of three furry friends harassing him and brushing against his feet is something that he'll need to get used to, and his father is cooking lunch when he reaches the kitchen.
'Morning, Louis,' Papa says as he hands the pan over to his son. 'What did they drag you through to have you sleep for so long?'
Lou is glad that he can use concentrating on not burning his food as an excuse to buy himself a minute. Should he tell his father the truth, or should he avoid talking about work just like many people do during their vacation? 'Things are getting bad in Detroit,' he decides in the end as going on a vacation at one's father's house isn't exactly normal either. 'Androids are breaking their programming and starts having their own thoughts. CyberLife's trying to cover it up, but I've dealt with enough violent deviants - that's what they're calling those androids - to know it's gonna be a problem real soon if they don't solve it now.' A pause to think of how to continue. 'I'm glad you're not in America anymore.'
'It must be exhausting,' is his father's reply, and that's all Lou needs to realize that his father has no idea what he's talking about. Then again, the man moved back to France before androids were a thing, and although they kept in frequent contact, Lou never talked much about his work; the police getting reformed means that SWAT is deployed only when peace is not the option - that means seeing people get hurt or die constantly. Androids aren't really a thing in Europe, so his father never experienced the 'androids taking over everything and making everyone lose their jobs' shit. He won't understand.
'That's why I'm here.'
They lapse into silence as Lou finishes cooking and empties the content of the pan onto two plates. Never one for formality, Papa brings them to the living room, sitting at the corner of a couch while Lou retrieves his plate and fork and curls onto the window sill. At this proximity, he can feel the raindrops hitting the glass as if he is standing in the rain.
Papa clears his throat. 'About your mother, Louis.'
Lou tears his eyes away from the raindrop he's betting on to win. He hastily shoved some eggs into his mouth to buy himself some time to mentally prepare for the conversation. 'What now?'
What he actually says isn't what Lou expected. 'I'm glad about what you did with your mother's body.'
'Her skeleton, you mean,' he replies. 'What's left of it anyways. I don't think they found the whole set.'
'Still,' Papa isn't looking at him. 'That's what she would've wanted. And by I'm glad - I'm not opposed to it.'
'That's it?' Lou turns back towards the rain. 'That wasn't your reaction when they told you that she was MIA.'
'I was young - younger - back then,' a sigh. 'It wasn't fair to you. Or to Anna. Especially to Anna. I'm sorry.'
No it wasn't, Lou wants to say, but - 'I've made peace with it a long time ago. Mom, me and Anna, Alaska; that was all you knew. I... I don't blame you for it.'
He has to close his eyes and press his forehead against the glass. He considers switching to German to further detach his emotions, but then he realizes that nearly everything has fled his mind from disuse. Why does he think spending his vacation with his father right after they discovered that his mother might have died painfully a good idea?
'That's what I thought I'd react when you called me, you know?' Papa says. 'I thought I'd break down. Then I realized that I've moved on and... that's it. Hard not to after more than twenty years.' Even with his vision gone, Lou can still feel his father's gaze on him. 'You've done that for your mother. Have you, for Anna? It's been ten years.'
'Have you, Papa?' Lou asks instead of answering even though he knows his answer. 'Can you stand the thought of your daughter gone as well?'
'After your mother?' the father feeds himself a mouthful of food and swallows. 'Kind of have to.'
'Of course you did. I raised her, not you.'
That is the last thing he says to his father before the storm goes away.
----
Emotionally exhausted, Lou goes to sleep early despite waking up not ten hours ago.
He knows he’s dreaming as soon as he opens the door and discovers his childhood living room behind it. The room is dark, so the lights must have been switched off, and even though it feels like he has smacked his hand all over the wall it’s on, he still can’t find the switch. It does bring him closer to the window, outside where a storm is going on at full force and paints everything white, and although he knows that what he is seeing isn’t real, he dreads the upcoming and necessary shovelling.
The world is suddenly lit up from behind him, followed by the voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson and the clicks of a keyboard. When Lou turns, Anna is there sitting in front of the couch, her brother's homework scattered in a semi-circle around her, and an old, bulky laptop snug between her crossed legs. It should have been a normal day in their house in Anchorage had Anna been a child but not an adult, which is the form Dream Anna is appearing in - she is younger than him by nearly eight years.
‘Where’s the light switch?’ Lou asks, looking around for good measure. ‘As much as you enjoy Cosmos, a documentary about space isn’t sufficient lighting.’
‘Relax,’ says Anna. ‘Eye problems aren’t in our genes.’ Then, waving at the papers around her, ‘Everything’s done. Your teachers didn’t suspect a thing,’ she gets younger and younger following each syllable until her age makes sense, ‘but you asked me to do it on a separate piece of paper, so I did. Feel free to copy directly if you wish.’
That is when Lou realizes that she’s playing games on the notebook, something that looks like a simplified version of Temple Run but set in space. ‘No thanks,’ he says. ‘I’d like to keep the creases on my brain.’ Then he notices that his sister didn’t really answer his question, so he asks again, ‘How am I supposed to switch on the lights?’
‘With your phone,’ is the matter-of-fact reply. ‘Don’t tell me you uninstalled the fucking app for cat pictures.’
‘For one last time, Anna, I don’t download cat pictures.’ And it hits him. ‘Wait, phone? The house isn’t automated when you’re at this age.’
‘Is it?’
Anna stands up and stalks closer to her brother, and she grows and grows and grows until they’re off the same height and she looks... older, how she should look like if she’s alive she’s still here. She is now Major Anna White Allen of the United States Air Force, dressed smartly in her dress uniform except for her cap, which she holds in her right hand. Their surroundings have also changed to that of the Phillips' penthouse terrace, harsh wind whipping around them.
'You aren't real,' Lou breathes, feeling light-headed. ‘You - you’re gone. Just like Mom.’
‘Open your eyes, then. End this early if you want to. Forget that this ever happened. I don’t mind.’
It is followed by a terrifying moment of wakefulness, the images blurring and then regaining clarity as he stays asleep. ‘And Papa wants me to let you go,’ he says with a sad chuckle.
‘Why?’
‘We found what’s left Mom. How long do we need to wait to find what’s left of you?’
‘Why are you talking like I’m dead?’
‘Cause you probably are, like Mom?’
‘I know you think we’re alike,’ an eye roll, ‘but we’re different.’
‘Say you’re not dead. Where the hell are you?’
‘Does it matter?’
A blink. They’re floating in space, Anna dressed in some form of armor, and Lou in normal clothes. He attempts to draw a breath and wakes up choking and crying, the dream completely forgotten save for the faint image of Anna falling towards earth and getting burnt to crisps.
----
A few days later, Lou finds himself walking on the beach with his father. The sky is cloudy and the wind is strong, so it is cool even though it’s September and Lou grew up in Alaska. They started throwing questions back and forth ten minutes into their walk, some of them silly and simple and give them a good laugh, but the others -
‘Answer me honestly, Louis. Do you think Anna’s dead?’
It is easy. ‘No.’
‘Where do you think she is, then?’
Lou’s face suddenly becomes too hot to bear. ‘Does it matter?’
‘If it affects you, yes.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it. She wouldn’t want us to speculate.’
‘But she’s not here, is she? Maybe you’ll feel better after you say it out loud.’
Lou sighs, oh how the turntables… ‘In space, probably.’
‘You’d think we’ll hear about that.’
‘Secret space programs exist, Papa.’
‘Not in America.’
‘I never said it’s an American program,’ Lou says as he kicks a rock away. ‘Do you know what they said when I received the first call from the Air Force? They asked me if Anna has ties with other space agencies even though she’s never been in NASA; she just talked about other countries’ space programs so much that they suspected her having ties with them.’
‘Hmm.’
‘What does that even mean?’
‘You know you won’t see her again, right?’
Lou halts his steps. Anna? Gone forever? ‘Does it matter?’
Papa sighs. ‘You’re in denial, Louis. You didn’t do this with your mother.’
How dare he - ‘Of course I didn’t, she was barely there!’ he has to put a few steps between them. ‘I raised Anna! How do you think that’s even comparable?’
‘I simply don’t want you to live in uncertainty for the rest of your life.’
‘You just don’t know your daughter,’ he counters. ‘She told me she’ll come back.’
‘You know -’
‘You don’t know shit!’
He runs. His lungs and legs are strained when he gets home, his father’s home, but he doesn't stop at that. He packs his stuff (not that there’s much to put back into his backpack), jumps into his rental car, and is back in Brest before he knows what he’s doing. His return flight is next week, so he has a lot of time to kill.
In the end, he takes a trip around the country alone, going to places he both never had time for and, if he’s been there before, misses dearly. He may have forgotten what they’ve talked about, but he remembers Anna visiting him often. The images flee his mind whenever he tries to recall them, but he doesn’t think they’re talking on earth, and he always wishes that he at least remembers some of it.
A few months later, he’ll learn that his speculations are closer to the truth than he thinks. A few months later, Louis Allen will prove his father wrong.
But he doesn’t know that yet. Therefore, after collecting the cats from Hank and unpacking his luggage, he takes all of Anna’s things and puts them into a box, telling himself that it is the first step towards admitting that maybe, it’s a big fucking maybe, he will never see his sister again.
#allen art week#allen appreciation#dbh allen#detroit: become human#dbh captain allen#allenartweek#allenappreciation#groom lake aftermath
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Angst/Fluff Writing Prompt Fun Wrap Up!
Now that I have finally finished all the submitted prompts I thought it would be fun to do a cute little wrap up in case you might have missed any of the stories along the way, along with some background/thoughts/feels about each one! Duration May 13th - July 15th (that was longer than I expected but cool!) 1. Rain and Confessions (Kyoya X Haruhi WC: 1,662) Prompt: “And yet, you’re still not enough.” Summary: After her graduation from law school, Haruhi and Kyoya pack up her apartment in preparation of Haruhi moving back to Japan. Kyoya has been waiting years for this moment and he is going to let Haruhi know exactly how he feels about Haruhi and isn't going to let a little rain ruin his plans for them. AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: This prompt is a canon insecurity for Kyoya and so it was easy for me to write- considering I posted the prompt list on the 13th and uploaded it on the 14th. But also it was so hard to write because they are my OTP!! It pained me to make them suffer like this. To make Kyoya vulnerable is tough. To bring down his walls in front of someone is a struggle. Upon reading back through it I dare say there is a peep of inspiration from Pride and Prejudice (can you spot the hidden Mr. Darcy-like quote?). Favorite Line: “You say that you will do all these things out of your love for me but it is because of my love for you that I cannot accept your offer because you become less of who you are and more of the person you think I need.” 2. Public Masks for Private Matters (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 1,269) Prompt: “Being alone would be better than being married to you.”
Summary: Haruhi has finally reached her breaking point. After winning her career-defining case her world comes crashing down. Blame has been assigned and trust has been broken between Haruhi and Takashi.
AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: The TakaHaru ship is by far one of the hardest ships to use with angsty writing because of the nature of Takashi. The hurt he could inflict on Haruhi isn’t something so obvious like physical/mental/emotional abuse. I think in my mind that it is his lack of response is the most believable response to causing conflict between them- his inability/insecurity to say the right thing at the right time. At least that is what it would come off to others. Takashi is an introvert/observer. If he was experiencing emotional distress he would probably cave in and bottle things up, holding the burden alone. (Spoliers!!) The real secret behind this fic is that Takashi only ever told her the truth. Haruhi busted a major company for the terrible working conditions of their low income employees. A week after the close of the trial she was jumped by a group of people and was sent to the hospital. They had know she was pregnant for a short while and wanted to keep it a secret because of the high profile nature of the case- not even telling friends or family. They lost the baby and it broke them. To this day they still have not mentioned the loss of their child. So naturally they suffer alone, putting on masks for the public. I honestly thought about writing something more with this background information but it just seemed a little difficult to set up the scene. Favorite Line: “The love I held for you is what blinded me.“ 3. Cameras and Questions (Kyoya x Haruhi WC: 1,181) Prompt: An almost kiss Summary: Yet again Kyoya convinces Haruhi to be his date to another gala event. Haruhi asks a question that gets answered in the most unusual way. Is there more going on between a young no-name lawyer and one of Japan's Top 5 Eligible Bachelors than the public is aware? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net
Thoughts: This was so fun to write! I love writing snarky Haruhi. I also love writing the back and forth between them. I mean they are my OTP I love the chase. XD I feel like they both can be very up front with each other but that they enjoy the subtleties of their conversations. I love the challenge between them, and how they push and test each other. I think in the beginning I didn’t quite know how to put them in a situation where there was an almost kiss, mostly because I still couldn’t get myself to fully commit to a fluffy piece of writing. But I think with what I did I could classify it as fluff defined by my standards (nobody died and everyone is happy). Favorite Line: “I don’t know any Ootori man to half-ass anything.” 4. Disgust and Devotion (Hikaru x Haruhi WC:1,083) Prompt: “Please don’t cry.” & “It’s three in the morning. What could you possibly want?” Summary: They said that it wouldn't work between them. Are their worlds so far apart that it is impossible? Hikaru is caught up in another scandal and Haruhi has reached her limit. Does she love him enough to stay or is she just too weak to leave? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: I think at this point in the prompts I still couldn’t get myself to write fluff and this ask was a fluff/angst mix with the two prompts provided. I do enjoy writing the HikaHaru ship even if there is not much out there. Originally when I was working on brainstorming ideas the end game was for them to have angry makeup sex. But I just couldn’t twist what I had in a way that would flow naturally with the base plot. I think I like writing Hikaru slightly drunk. It curves his temper and makes him more mellow. But he is still our impulsive little boy and he still has a ways to grow up. This wasn’t the first time that something like this has come up. Though both times he was not at fault (though in the original idea he totally did cheat one drunk night but couldn’t really remember). If anything the fluff is implied at the end.... Favorite Line: “The media can make it look like anything they want to with a well-timed photo.” 5. Love Over Reason (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 2,102) Prompt: “Are you blushing?” Summary: Loving someone is complicated. Sometimes we feel as though the ones we love deserve more than we can give. Does spending six months apart change Takashi and Haruhi's feelings for the better or for worse? AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net Thoughts: There was about 5 days between this fic and Disgust and Devotion and I still couldn’t really bring myself to write straight fluff... But this turned into quite a piece. I think I was hitting a stride of coffee shop AUs and I just couldn’t help myself. Ever love someone so much you push them away because you think it will be better than dragging them through your mess? Well same. I think the fluff in this fic is subtle. They care so deeply for one another that they don’t want to hurt each other more. And just to be kind I added more fluff at the end. I’m not sure I really like how I used the prompt for this one but what’s posted is posted. Favorite Line: “All I have ever wanted from you is you.” - This line still gets me all sorts of choked up when I read it.
6. Brutality Mixed With Intimacy (Takashi x Haruhi WC: 1,455)
Prompt: 'Please don't cry' or 'You know I have feelings for you, right?'
Summary: After months of following dead ends, the Ouran Association finally has a solid lead to obtaining useful information on the ring leader of a major underground human trafficking organization in Japan. All other hits had gone to plan for Takashi but this one hit too close to home. With Haruhi as their next target, he couldn't handle the risk of possibly losing her.
AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net
Thoughts: Cue the beginning evidence of my current obsession with Mafia AU’s... The mafia au is just the perfect setting for my dark angsty heart! I just couldn’t resist. Especially when fluff was so far down the list of things I still wanted to write. I won’t name names but a certain TakaHaru shipper threatened me that they were going to write a fix it fic so that Haruhi actually ended up with Takashi instead of Tamaki. And of course she would end up with Tamaki, he of all of them would have the least blood on his hands.
Favorite Line: “You were never going to make it to the drop off location.”
7. Fashion and Feelings (Hikaru x Haruhi WC: 2,691)
Prompt: “You know I have feelings for you right?”
Summary: After years of silently watching and pining for Haruhi from afar, Hikaru finally gets the courage to reveal his true feelings for her. With his new spring line debuting in a few short days Hikaru is going to lay his fashion reputation and love all on the line in hopes of having his feelings reciprocated.
AO3, Tumblr, FF.Net
Thoughts: Finally, FINALLY, finally I was able to pull out just the most fluffy fluff I could write! Like it took everything I had to put no angst in this one at all. This prompt sat for weeks and weeks without progress. I didn’t have a clue with what I was going to do with it. Like, it laughed at me with it’s blank doc. I wanted this final prompt to be just fluff so I left it to sit until I finally had a spark of fluff. This can be read alone or as part of the back story for Disgust and Devotion.
Favorite Line: “Most people would be creeped out by someone other than a significant other who bought them lingerie.” Final Thoughts:
Shortest- Cameras and Questions Longest- Fashion and Feelings Combined Total Word Count: 11,443 Title Themes- I really wanted to give this round of prompts a slightly longer title theme. My favorite is probably Brutality Mixed With Intimacy but a close runner up is Public Masks for Private Matters.
Favorite- Fashion and Feelings Least Favorite- Love Over Reason Thanks to everyone who submitted requests! It is always a pleasure writing for you!
#OHSHC#ouran host club#ouran hshc#ouran high school host club#haruhi fujioka#tamaki suoh#Kyoya Ootori#hikaru hitachiin#takashi morinozuka#Takashi x Haruhi#Kyoya x Haruhi#Hikaru x Haruhi
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2019 writing self-evaluation
so i did this over on my main last year, and since i had what i felt was a productive year, i wanted to do it here! i’ve included all works, from every fandom i wrote for, so there’s definitely a variety but also a clear distinction of when i stopped writing 1d and started writing for haikyuu, heh. anyway, i’m proud of all the work i’ve done this year, so here’s to 2020!
ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2019
1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 50
2. Word count posted for the year: 147,038
3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):
two loves have i (5 january)
it’s only your imagination again (25 january)
the pain’s only temporary (8 february)
blow a kiss, fire a gun (9 may)
waiting to be found (14 may)
a swim with a shark (6 june)
sweet and lowdown (19 june)
one more time as if we planned it (24 june)
always be my thunder (23 july)
will your mouth read this truth (30 july)
tumblr drabbles & prompts (last updated 3 august)
I’m on my way up (’cos you make me bliss out) (completed 4 august) (collab with Rider_Of_Spades on ao3)
even mountains crumble into the sea (7 august)
we’re on each other’s team (14 august)
dangerous, tainted, flawed (20 august)
life can do terrible things (25 august)
the night before life goes on (1 september)
when the letter says a soldier’s coming home (17 september)
when the air ran out (19 september)
something missing tonight (21 september)
built castles from sand (26 september)
underneath the stars we came alive (8 october)
sweet talk and sugar (10 october)
got my name on this treasure (11 october)
just a little taste, babe (14 october)
iwaoi horror week drabbles (completed 1 november)
don’t let the tide come (31 october)
daisuga week drabbles (completed 24 november)
how (not) to put on a condom (26 november)
taste the tension, now i’m begging (2 december)
kiss the boy (7 december)
till tonight do us part (11 december)
i wish i could be there now (13 december)
on our way to twenty-seven (15 december)
for the dream far away (24 december)
a collar full of chemistry (25 december)
fall down and commune with me (28 december)
a little of love’s electricity (31 december)
the city is at war (last updated 31 december)
4. Fandoms I wrote for: (stats pulled from the ao3 filter feature on my works)
haikyuu!! (41)
one direction (9)
the legend of zelda: breath of the wild (3)
all time low (1)
crystalline (1)
5. Pairings: (i didn’t count side or past pairings)
iwaizumi hajime/oikawa tooru (14)
sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi (13)
oikawa tooru/sugawara koushi (4)
azumane asahi/nishinoya yuu (3)
kuroo tetsurou/sawamura daichi (2)
kuroo tetsurou/yaku morisuke (1)
akaashi keiji/oikawa tooru (1)
sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)
sawamura daichi/terushima yuuji (1)
sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)
link/revali (1)
mipha/zelda (1)
louis tomlinson/harry styles (5)
louis tomlinson/zayn malik (1)
alex gaskarth/louis tomlinson (1)
liam payne/louis tomlinson (1)
zack spade/pixel fade (1)
6. Story with the most:
Kudos: two loves have i (275)
Bookmarks: two loves have i (34)
Comments: two loves have i (25)
9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):
on our way to twenty-seven! i was digging into some identity and sexuality issues that i myself have dealt with in the past and writing about it was the first time i’d really dove into some of that stuff, so i really enjoyed writing it and i think it’s some of my best.
i’m also really proud of i’m taking back the crown and i wish i could say why. i just really like the way it came out. writing oikawa as this desperate dethroned prince trying to reclaim his kingdom at any cost only to be beaten at his own game in his own home was just...ugh. it was so much fun to write.
10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):
one more time as if we planned it, definitely. i just felt super rushed writing it. it was for the one direction rarepair fest, which was super fun, but i had Just finished a longer fic a few days before this one was due and i initially tried to drop out because i thought i wouldn’t be able to finish it, but i did, but i still feel like it’s rushed and just not as good as it could have been if i’d planned better and given it some more time.
11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
im gonna do what i did last year and post more than one, because 1. i can’t decide and 2. i quite honestly am pretty proud of a lot of what i wrote this year
from when the letter says a soldier’s coming home —
Tooru’s squealing somewhere behind them, and Hajime’s gruffly trying to get out the door, and he’ll have to call the school and make up something about being sick so he can spend the day catching up with Daichi, but it can wait. It can all wait. Because Koushi’s waited long enough. It’s about time the rest of the world waits for him.
from strawberries on a summer evening —
Suga hums against him, licking strawberry seeds from between Daichi’s teeth, like he’s just as intoxicated by Daichi as Daichi is with him. Daichi could live here, in this feeling, ignoring everything except how Suga sounds (like bliss personified), smells (like sunblock and sweat), tastes (like sugar and salt). He’s the hottest part of the summer, high noon in mid-August, just this side of too much to handle, but addicting in how it leaves you at its mercy.
from on our way to twenty-seven —
“Sorry, what was your name again?”
Tetsurou opens his mouth to say his American name, but he catches Daichi and Suga looking at him, and he swallows it down. “My name is Tetsurou. Tetsurou Kuroo.”
“I thought you wanted people to call you Tyler,” Timothy says.
Tetsurou shoots him a glare and says it again, feeling his confidence start to grow. “My name is Tetsurou Kuroo. Tetsu is fine, too, but I don’t go by Tyler anymore.”
12. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
any time tasteofsummersnow left me a comment, it made my heart go doki doki!! her comments are so in depth and so very sweet and it’s so much fun to see her real-time reactions to my writing. i go back and reread them like once a week they’re so nice ;_;
13. A time when writing was really, really hard:
the spring/early summer in general was tough, like from march to june. i didn’t post anything between february and may, and i feel like i was struggling a lot creatively around like may/june of this year. i think it’s because a lot of stuff in the 1d fandom was really turning me off at the time and that’s when the burnout fully hit.
14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
definitely sugawara in the city is at war. i was writing that first chapter and initially i just wanted to see him step up when daichi wasn’t around but he very quickly turned sadistic and ruthless and scarily sharp, which is just so much fun to write him as. and his relationship with daichi is just—ugh. love that violence-fueled romance. they would kill a hundred men for each other and be turned on once they were finished.
honestly, all of the city is at war has surprised me. the idea came to me in a dream on a long bus ride, of all the clan leaders having a meeting and being attacked, and i woke up and banged it out in 36 hours. i meant it to be a oneshot but as i wrote it, i realized i loved the au so much there was no way i could leave it at that. so now it’s got a whole plot and all that. fun!
15. How did you grow as a writer this year:
last year i said i felt i grew writing angst and exploring different emotional themes, and i think i built on that even more this year. i did a bunch of shorter pieces this year and i feel a lot of them really explored emotions and characters more than plot, and that’s been so much fun. and then as well, like i said before, i’ve branched out into the crime-action genre with the yakuza au. and! iwaoi horror week was my first real attempt at spooky/creepy/horror-type writing, and, it was a fun challenge for sure.
i also said i wanted to just keep writing and be spontaneous and i definitely did that this year. i posted so many fics not caring how long it had been since the last one—sometimes it was less a day. numbers stopped mattering to me. i posted just because i wanted to put my writing out there and share it with the world, knowing there had to be someone out there who’d like it.
16. How do you hope to grow next year:
i feel like 2019 was a year of trying a lot of new things, so in 2020 i’m hoping to explore some different ships and tropes. the sheer number of characters and ships in haikyuu means there’s a ship for just about every trope and au out there, and i want to play around with some dynamics i’ve never written before.
17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
as always, a shoutout to the loggies, who have been a fantastic source of inspiration and support all year even after i retired from 1d fic. and i would also like to thank the people i met via various hq discord servers—you know who you are!! thank you for the sprints, the encouragement, the inspiration, and the friendship. as someone brand new to the fandom, the support and sense of community has been nothing short of amazing, and you guys are part of the reason i felt so comfortable in this fandom so quickly.
18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
actually, yeah. even mountains crumble into the sea was written the night before i broke up with my ex. i wrote it as an exercise to get all my feelings out, lay them all on the table where i could see them and pick through them, and then imagine the best possible way the scenario could go.
19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
honestly—just write! write what you’re happy with. write even if you don’t post it. write, because everything you do is practice that’ll help you improve.
and don’t be afraid to write out of order or write more than one project at a time. i know that won’t work for everyone, but for me, if i didn’t immediately write what was on my mind, i probably wouldn’t have posted half of what i did this year.
20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
hey remember last year when i said i was gonna finish the breath of the wild au?? L M A O i’m really gonna finish it next year i swear!!
i have a fic posting in the spring for the nsfw big bang which i’m ALSO very excited about! i’m lucky to be working with such a talented artist and the end result is gonna be amazing and i’m so so excited.
i also want to keep going with the city is at war, because that plot was a pleasant surprise. and there’s an ever-growing list of fic ideas and aus that i’m so excited to write—some of them were originally for larry aus but i’ve repurposed them for haikyuu pairings and that’s helped breathe new life into some old ideas.
21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.
anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just tag me, i wanna read your answers!
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Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 1: Writing| “The First Session”
So this is literally the first fanfiction I’ve ever published, done for @wearemiraculous / @seasonofthegeek ‘s Miraculous Ladybug event, celebrating everyone’s adopted son, Marc Anciel. I planned this overarching story back when it was first announced, so before the actual prompts were given, so I don’t know if the days will actually match up very well. Disclaimers (PLEASE READ) and chapter are under the cut.
(~c. 1500 words, for those of you who care about that kind of thing.)
Chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Disclaimers before the actual content: I am not affiliated with anyone involved with creating Miraculous Ladybug. I’m just a fan, this is just fanfiction. This is a seven-part fic, one chapter for each day (if I can finish them on time), and it features heavy LGBTQ+ themes and mentions gender dysphoria (Not in this chapter but in later chapters). I am not dysphoric, nor have I ever been, and I identify as a straight male. As such, I may get something wrong. Please, tell me if I do get something wrong so I can fix it. The last thing I want is to hurt anyone with this.
Also, mild language warning.
Okay, I think that’s everything.
Sunday… by the blue, purple, yellow, red water… on the green, purple, yellow, red grass…
Well, no, actually. He was in a public library, not a park, and the closest thing to a river was a drinking fountain a few shelves to his left. Still, it was Sunday, and this was the song that was piping in through Nathaniel’s earbuds.
‘You’ll love it,’ Rose had said. ‘It’s inspired by that painting, the famous one with all the dots.’
‘Un dimanche après-midi à l’Île de la Grande Jatte,’ he had guessed. ‘By Georges Seurat?’
‘Yeah, that one. It’s about all the people in the painting, and all their troubles getting masked by the artist creating one fictional, perfect afternoon. And then Act II is his grandson having to deal with creating the same things over and over. And it’s just…’ There, Rose wiped a few tears from her still-red eyes. ‘It’s some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. The same composer wrote Into the Woods.’
‘And Sweeney Todd,’ Juleka had mumbled from close by.
Well, he couldn’t argue with Rose. There were some incredible melodies, and watching the filmed version (at Rose’s insistence) had brought some tears to his eyes.
It was about art.
It was about himself, too, in a way.
In the play, Georges invests himself so far into the fictional world in his painting that he neglects his lover, his family, and even his own life in the end.
In real life, Nathaniel had gotten so wrapped up in his art that he had started to see everyone else as an obstacle to the creative spirit.
“Hey,” a voice mumbled. “Sorry I’m late.”
Which is how he found himself here, in this mess.
“It’s no problem.” Nathaniel glanced at his phone. “You’re actually early.”
“I know,” Marc said tensely, quietly slipping into a chair across from him. “But I still got here after you, so…”
“Like I said, no problem. I wasn’t bored.”
“Oh?” Marc looked at Nathan’s sketchbook, which was open on the table. “What are you drawing?”
Nathaniel regarded his creation. It wasn’t anything too special: a tree, a river, a bench, all in a park scene done in swooping, curved lines. The shading was done with a bunch of little tick marks instead of the smooth gradient style he sometimes did.
“Just a scene,” he answered. “From this musical I’ve been listening to.”
“Sunday in the Park with George?”
Nathaniel nodded. “Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Uh, Rose – that’s her name, right? – she told me about it. She said her friend and her dad were in it together.”
“Yeah, Mylène?”
“That was it.”
“Yeah. She’s been forcing everyone in the art club to listen to the soundtrack for weeks.” Nath flipped to a different page in the sketchbook. “You’re the newest member, so naturally you’re her latest victim.”
Marc gave a weak laugh, but his expression stayed sober. “So how is it?”
“Hm?”
“The play. Is it any good?”
“Oh.” He mulled over this. “I like it,” he decided, even if he felt that didn’t answer the question. “It’s a… perspective on the art piece. Definitely unconventional.”
“Yeah.” Marc fingered the hem of his hoodie and bit his lip. “It is a bit weird, isn’t it? Writing something that big inspired by one piece of visual art.”
“Yep. And I’m now drawing something inspired by that. Comes back around, doesn’t it?” Nathaniel cringed, like he always did when he tried to be profound. Profundity didn’t suit his verbal abilities.
To his surprise, Marc nodded in agreement. “The cyclical, cannibalistic nature of art.”
“Cannibalistic,” Nathan repeated, amused. “That’s good. I like that word. It’s very… blunt.”
“It’s a strong choice,” Marc agreed. “Connoting something brutish or barbaric.”
“Works perfectly for art, then.”
Marc smiled this time. “Guess it does,” he said. His voice, to Nathaniel’s perception, seemed to take on some quality, giving it a lighter… texture?
‘No that isn’t right. What’s that called?’ he pondered. Whatever it was, it was a welcome change from Marc’s usual moody demeanor. The small smile on his face was uniquely refreshing, emotionally speaking.
“Kinda like this, huh?” he noted. “I mean, I was doodling, you wrote stuff for it, and now I’m drawing based off what you wrote. I’m cannibalizing myself via you.”
Marc lost his smile. Nathan suddenly felt bad, like all the weight in the air had fallen in around him.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “Forget I… I was trying to be clever, never mind.”
The heaviness in the room was making it difficult for him to breathe.
“So…” Marc tried to break the silence. Nathan winced inwardly at the shift in social dynamic. Apparently, he also winced outwardly, because Marc suddenly started to backtrack. “I mean, you, um…” His voice dropped to a timid whisper. “Oh, shit.”
Marc made to get up, grabbing the bag that was hung on his chair. “Wait, no, I’m sorry,” Nath pleaded.
“This isn’t going to work.” The writer shook his head. “I’m sorry for taking up your time.”
“Look, it’s my fault.” Marc stopped moving. “I’m sorry, I’m just not used to… working with people.” At the deflated look this received, Nath amended himself. “I want to, though. Let’s just give this a chance, okay?”
“Oh.” Marc set down his bag and withdrew his journal. “Uh… okay.”
“Yeah. I don’t exactly know how to… do…” He stopped talking, not knowing what word he could finish with.
“Collaborations?”
“Yeah. I’m not sure… What’s the, um, protocol here?”
Marc shifted in his seat, playing with the cover of his book. “I don’t really think there is a set protocol.”
“Oh. Sorry, my bad, I just—”
“No, you’re fine, I’m the one who should—”
They both stopped talking over each other. Once again, they merely looked down at their own papers in silence.
After a minute of this, Nathaniel decided, against his better judgement, to address the elephant at the table.
“So… Yesterday, huh?”
Marc continued to hunch over.
“You got akumatized.” Not like the superfan was going to judge. “You really wanted in on this project, huh?”
Marc shut his eyes tight. He whispered, “It wasn’t that.”
Nath was surprised. “Oh? Then…”
“I just wanted to…” For the first time in the meeting, Marc momentarily lost his tongue. “I don’t know how it got to that. I just wanted to say that you were… and then Marinette just made it about us working together…” He shrugged, defeated. “It just sort of escalated.”
“Oh,” Nathaniel nodded. “Then we agree.”
“Huh?”
“Marinette is terrible at mediating people.”
“Oh.” Another smile, much smaller than the first, graced his lips, which his collaborator was grateful for. “Heh. She really is, huh?”
‘Levity,’ Nathan realized, looking at Marc’s smile. ‘That’s the word I was looking for earlier.’
He wanted to keep the conversation going. “So… what were going to say about me? So you can get that out of the way.”
It took a while for him to answer. “It’s just… I really like… your art. There’s just something in it.” He looked away, blushing with what Nathaniel assumed was embarrassment. “You seem to really care about it. Not really in any way I’ve ever seen before. I-It’s so well-constructed, too, plot-wise.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah.” The scriptwriter rubbed his arm. “I mean… I’m not an expert, but I like stories that… you know.”
The cartoonist didn’t know, but he kept that to himself.
“Why do you, um…” Marc gulped. “What led you to… drawing? And doing stories like this?”
“Why do I do this?” Nath thought about this for a moment. “I can’t really say.”
“Okay.” Marc didn’t push further.
They continued to sit silently, until Nath once again spoke up.
“Do you ever feel like there’s something that’s just…”
His accomplice tried guessing. “Wrong?”
“Exactly.” Nathaniel crossed his arms. “Something that’s just wrong with you.”
“Yeah,” Marc nodded. “I think that’s normal.”
“It really isn’t. Or it shouldn’t be.”
“I’ll agree on that.”
“It’s part of why I do this.” Nath shrugged pensively. “It just feels right.”
Marc smiled. “That’s how I feel about writing.” He tried to clarify. “You know, like, constructing words, into sentences and paragraphs and stories. And then you come up with that great sentence, that play on ideas, and it’s just…” Seeing that his point didn’t really get across, he elaborated. “I am to words as you are to… let’s say, colors.”
“I can tell.” Nath motioned to Marc’s journal. “From what I’ve read, you’re really an artist with them.”
Marc blushed again, though Nath couldn’t tell from what. “You really think so?”
“Yeah. Even just talking to you is… well, kind of exhilarating.” Wondering if that was the right word to use, he backtracked. “Something like that, I guess. Anyway…” He closed his sketchbook. “What do you say we finally start working?”
Marc’s expression shifted to surprise. “W-working?”
“Yeah.” He got out of his seat and walked around to Marc’s side. “Show me what you’ve been writing.”
“O-okay.” He reluctantly opened his journal. “Well, it’s not really, um, much, but there’s this thing you did after Copycat that I sort of expanded on…”
So, yeah, that was Day 1. Sorry if it sucked, I’m really new to this and I’ve never posted anything before. That’s my excuse. Please don’t send hate, but I will take constructive criticism. Therefore, if you do send hate, pretend it’s that instead.
The whole thing is actually not fully finished, but I’ll try to get everything up here eventually regardless of whether or not I can do it all in time.
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Future Sanders Sides Teacher AU Fic Ideas (Pt 1)
Just a little something I’ve been thinking about writing for a long time now??
These are just ideas!! I might make oneshots here and there, but I want to try and make this into an actual story on Wattpad or something during summer vacation.
[[Thank you so very much for getting me to post this @royallyanxious you’re amazing :) Oh and btw I was that anon that said they liked your Logicality FBI agent AU fanfic. I’m super anxious but I hope you like this anyway!]]
[[Tag list: @izzynuggets, @diadrip]]
Summary: The sides are teachers in a highschool that Thomas and his friends go to.
-It’s also sort of a human AU as well. The sides will naturally have different last names, which I have not entirely decided yet. (+Afterschool they all have part time jobs across the street from each other but there’ll be more about that in a part two or three I’ll try getting to in the future)
[[Characters]]
Logan:
-Science teacher (Living Environment honors and/or Chemistry)
-Part time job as a librarian
-Wants to keep being a teacher
-Speaks fluently in salty
-His choice of wear is a mix between casual and formal. Slicked back hair (with hair gel), tightly fitted polo shirts, leather belts, jeans and his signature blue and black tie
-Definitely wears different ties with a theme fitted for each and every holiday
-Can accurately quote books off the top of his head
-When he's too tired to do anything, he just binges Doctor Who and Sherlock with his classes
-(Based on this one Logan skit on Thomas’ insta I think y’all know what I’m talking about) He brought an entire toaster that he keeps in his classroom just so he could eat toast with Crofter’s 24/7.
-He eats Crofter’s with everything he eats and it scares everyone sometimes. Like he’ll just be casually teaching as he spreads the jam onto a slice of pizza and everyone’s a little concerned
-Once during a test he sees one of his students struggling and suddenly their stomach rumbles loudly and as everyone laughs he just makes them a sandwich and tells them that they could take the test tomorrow
-Whenever a student doodles on one of their assignments, he finishes the picture with a crayon and he loves it when they see it and smile it makes his day
-He’s that teacher that you’re terrified of at first but then you realize they’re awesome (He has a resting bitchface that scares the heck out of everyone on the first day of school)
-Him being a sort of psychologist toward his students and they come to him (and Patton) with problems and mental breakdowns. He’s terrible at the comforting part of what to do when a person’s crying, but he’s excellent at figuring out the students’ problem or problems at helping them change their schedule/bad habits to fix it
-Him reassuring his students that-no matter what society says-just because they aren't good at math or science doesn't mean that they're useless and stupid+grades are not everything
-His students adoring him for being so realistic and understanding that school can be stressful sometimes
-His students calling him mom
-Him being so sleep deprived one day that as he was writing something on the board, he used incorrect grammar and once he got corrected, he just slowly walks over to his desk and sits under it for a solid minute
-He hardly ever loses his cool. Ever. He handles those few immature kids in his class with ease, threatening them firmly or just completely roasting them so that they’re too busy laughing/being stunned to disrupt class.
-But once he just gave up. He silently turns around and s n a p s.
-He lets out this unholy screech that echoes throughout the school and shakes the nearby classrooms and scares away the birds perched on a tree outside and the chalk in his hand breaks in half the students are terrified they’ve never heard a sound of that volume from Logan’s mouth and they’re wondering if this is is what they’ll hear when the pits of hell breaks open at their feet-
-And then Logan just pauses. He takes a long drink from the water bottle on his desk, sets it down, adjusts his tie, clears his throat, then continues on with the lesson like nothing happened. Everyone agrees that that’s the scariest thing they’ve ever seen and heard in their lives.
Patton:
-Art and home economics teacher (He has one homeroom art class in the morning, then a home ec class after lunch where he teaches stuff like cooking/baking, time management, money management, food, etc...)
-Part time job as a barista
-Wants to own his own bakery (or just be a stay at home dad)
-Speaks fluently in puns
-Whenever he has a student that he thinks is in a bad mood, he personally tapes some sort of dessert he baked to their locker on a plate with a nice post-it note taped to it
-His students call him dad
-During a rainy day, he sees some kid waiting for their late parent to pick them up outside at dismissal and he walks up to them and covers their head with his cardigan and invites them inside his classroom instead of waiting in the rain
-He frequently gets into pun/prank wars with his students
-Depending on how he’s feeling, when he sees a student sleeping in class, he’ll either blast an airhorn into their ear or lay a blanket on their back there’s no in between
-Once his class was so loud and rambunctious and he got so stressed out because he didn’t know how to deal with it that he just started crying and his students had to comfort him and no one dared to make him cry ever again
-He once forgot where he lost his glasses while he was cooking something and he asked his students to help him find them and they looked for them the entire period and no one could find it
-No one told him his glasses were right atop his head.
Roman:
-Drama teacher (Sometimes subs for the Chorus teacher, who is always absent because she's very sickly)
-Part time job as a florist/works at a flower shop
-Wants to be a future actor on broadway
-Speaks fluently in Disney songs/musical references
-The most fashionable out of the four. He has a bunch of different outfits depending on the season. For winter and fall, he wears lots of sweaters, leather jackets, dress pants, scarves and sometimes flannel around the waist. For summer and spring, he’ll be wearing button downs, sunglasses, loose t-shirts, and jeans/shorts.
-During play rehearsal, he puts on a red sash (and his Princey clothing basically) because he claims he needs to get ‘in the play spirit’ (when in reality he just likes wearing his old prince costume from a play he was in in the past)
-Not all of his students like him (he can be vv loud and extravagant), but his theater kids honestly adore him. They love his passion for singing, acting and musicals.
-They cheer Roman on and completely support his dream of performing on broadway one day. They secretly (and shamelessly) support him every chance they can get on social media.
-That teacher that, when he sees an artsy student, will catch them drawing during class and instead of telling them to pay attention will fanboy over their art and tell them how amazing it looks so usually art students also love him
-Knows the latest gossip about a lot of the students in the school
-Purposely casts the two students he knows has a crush on each other as the two main characters that have to stage kiss
-One of his students gave him a Burger King crown and he cried and wore it for the rest of the week and attacked any other teacher that tried to take it off his head (*cough cough* Virgil *cough*)
Virgil:
-English teacher
-Part time job as a tattoo artist/works at a tattoo shop
-Wants to be a YouTuber/blogger (and write stories online)
-Speaks fluently in sarcasm/memes
-On the first day of school he wears normal teacher like clothing, but then the rest of the year he wears hoodies and casual t-shirts and sweatpants that he hides under a long jacket (he’s technically supposed to be all formal and whatever, but he ain’t got time for that)
-He dreams to get this original story he's been working on for years published one day. This story is basically a fantasy AU involving characters based off him, Logan, Patton and Roman.
-When he reads excerpts from books, his kids go wild because he can do Thomas' narrator/storyteller voice (the one where his voice drops a million octaves)
-Whenever a woman/girl speaks, his voice jumps up a million octaves and he purposely squeaks/sounds like someone on helium and it gets his classes cracking up
-The kind of guy that uses the dankest of memes on worksheets/in presentations
-A lot of students really love him. The ones who like ELA are in love with his writing and storytelling. The one who don't even like ELA still like his class because he's good at keeping them engaged.
-Just like Logan, he has a natural talent for mercilessly roasting those immature kids that fool around in his class
-He'll randomly ramble away and sink into a hole of existential crisis but his students still like that side of him because it's just relatable.
-He's incredibly flexible and he can be found sitting/lying on places that probably shouldn't be sat/laid on. Once he was just casually reading a book sitting in one of those pretzels on his desk and a student screeched.
-He constantly gets compared to a cat. He hisses at Roman when he's frustrated with him, the students find him on top of furniture that isn't meant to be sat on, he says perfect as 'purrfect' and his noise twitches a lot. He used to be like nahh whatcha talking about until Roman gifted him with a cat plushie one day and he finally admitted that cats were his favorite animal (Bonus-His students joke about him being a furry a lot)
-His artsy students draw him fanart all the time and he loves it sooo much. (Bonus-Someone drew him, Pat, Roman and Lo as cats and he almost cried)
((There’s part one! Part two will either be about their part time jobs, or their interactions with each other as teachers. Feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you!!))
#teacher au#school au#human au#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfic ideas#virgil sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#part one#fic ideas#my writing
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@hi-ilovedamien tagged me to answer some questions about myself.
Name: Sandy. Hi! 🤗
Star sign: Sagittarius. I have the same birthday as Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee.
Height: 5’3” and a half. My ID says 5’4” and that’s a stretch.
Put your music on shuffle, what are the first four songs? Thriller - Michael Jackson, Desire - Years & Years ft. Tove Lo, I Can’t Wait - Stevie Nicks, Playtime is Over - Le Matos (Chronicles of the Wasteland TURBO KID OST this soundtrack fucking rips)
Grab the closest book to you and turn to page 23, what is line 17? The suffusion drained away from Jack’s face. THE LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding, fucking great book.
Ever had a song or poem written about you? Not that I’m aware of.
When's the last time you played air guitar? Probably around my birthday in November, I had a Keanu Reeves-themed birthday party (I love him) and the first film we watched was BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE, which is a masterpiece of cinema, thank you.
Who's your celeb crush? Keanu is always my number one, now and forever. Lately, though, I’m obsessed with Cody Fern and Billie Lourd, because they are soft and perfect Cancer angels and Millory is the GOAT (and because I’m bisexual and they are both great examples as to why!). Never gonna get over the fact that Ryan Murphy wasted all that potential, still hoping eventually he’ll make them romantically attached in one of the upcoming seasons to apologize to all of us.
What is one sound you hate, and one you love? Sound I love: oh god, so many, but I love the sound of the pages of a book turning, especially in a very quiet place like a library. Coffee being poured into a cup. The little sounds my cat makes. My partner’s voice. Sound I hate: people yelling or talking way too loudly for no discernible reason. I work in a cafe and it happens a LOT and it always makes me insane. So many people have no idea of a proper volume for indoors. Please stop screaming.
Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. I’m a practicing solitary witch and I believe strongly in the supernatural and the hidden world. I think some spirits get trapped and are afraid to move on; I also think some spirits are dark energy.
What about aliens? Yes. I desperately hope there are other beings out there in the universe. The idea of us being alone is terribly sad to me. I think aliens are VERY different from how most people perceive them, though; so different from us, in all likelihood, that the average human would have a very hard time empathizing with them in any capacity. It would be hard for us, as narrow-minded as we are, to cope with them. Also, any alien civilization with the starpower to reach us would be thousands of times more scientifically advanced than us. Like us vs. an insect. They would probably have no interest in us at all. Hard to wrap your head around.
Do you drive? Nope. I live in Philadelphia, a great “walking city”; you can get most places easily by walking or taking public transportation. I live a 15 minute walk away from my work and I love it so much. I might get my license some day but it currently doesn’t interest me at all. My partner drives and has a car, so he does the driving in our relationship.
What was the last book you read? The last novel I read was LISEY’S STORY by Stephen King, I think. I loved it. Right now I’m reading I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING: How Nora Ephron’s Three Iconic Films Saved The Romantic Comedy by Erin Carlson. I love romantic comedies and think they have a lot of cultural value; I love Ephron as well and I’m enjoying the book, but I’ve been writing so much; I haven’t had a lot of time to read lately.
Do you like the smell of gasoline? No, I find it unnerving.
What was the last movie you saw? I watched THE LAST TIME I SAW RICHARD the other day, a short film with Cody by Nicholas Verso. I loved it. It’s only 22-minutes long but it’s got a great spooky atmosphere and themes about queer shame and mental health. I loved it. The last film I watched before that was IO on Netflix; I LOVE Margaret Qualley but it was very dull. Again, I’ve been writing so much, I haven’t had much time to watch stuff the past couple weeks. Usually I watch a film like every day, but this fic has taken over my life.
Do you have any obsessions right now? My Millory/House of Cards crossover AU fanfic, BODY AND SOUL. I have been writing CONSTANTLY (I’m well over 60k words) and I think about it all day. It’s amazing to write something for myself this way; I’ve been doing films reviews/criticism for over 3 years but I haven’t done fiction in like a decade and to know I still can, that I’m not broken, has been incredibly cathartic and transcendent for me. This fic is gonna be novel length and when I finish it, it’ll be a huge personal achievement for me. I feel emotional a lot lately.
Do you hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? It depends on the nature and depth of the wrong; it’s hard for me, nearly impossible, to forgive certain kinds of betrayal. More likely than not, if you have seriously wronged me, I Ghost you: I disappear from your life, and you’re not invited back into mine.
In a relationship? Yes, for 7 years (I’m 31, my partner is gonna be 34 in March, he’s an Aries). My romantic relationship and my personal life, to me, is maybe the most complex and difficult thing I have ever had to navigate, but I love my partner with a fierce, protective love; we’ve built this relationship with our blood, sweat and tears. Being with someone for a long time is hard to describe to other people. It’s so much work but it’s so transcendent. Trying to get to know another person is maybe the hardest thing any human will ever have to do. And I definitely think romantic relationships are not for everyone. But mine has become the bedrock and foundation of my life.
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Gency Week: Day 7
And the fic is finally finished along with gency week. I forgot how good it feels to finish a multi-chapter fic. It’s been a really fun week, thank you to all those involved for hosting this wonderful week with all its wonderful prompts. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did~
And now, I return to hell in college with my 5 classes ;u; Perhaps one day, I’ll return to work on my next fic series.
Title: Four Halves Make A Whole Theme: Family Word Count: 1873 Rating: G (for God there’s fluff everywhere)
It would not be for another half-decade or so that they would finally consider starting their own family. Angela was all too busy with the ascension ceremony and her studies about magic, along with learning about everything else that was needed for ruling a kingdom. Her husband was fortunately gifted with the knowledge of the inner workings of the streets, allowing him to appeal to the people rather easily. He had that going for him at least.
She felt bad for making him sit in on so many conferences that he hardly had a clue about, with the council people very purposefully using big words and archaic terms to mess with him. However, Genji was not one to surrender easily, or at all. He studied books after books through the nights with his wife snuggled up to him, knowing that he shouldn’t be a useless burden to her forever.
The day that he very offhandedly dissed a counselor’s use of resources and casually suggested a solution that would eventually come to reform the entire system for the better, he was showered with a lot of kisses after the meeting and rewarded for his cleverness with yet another sleepless night, only without the books.
Eventually, there came a day when they found themselves with a king declaring war on them. Or more specifically, Genji for stealing his wife. It was probably one of the potential suitors she had met who got his head so far up his ass that it actually came back out of his neck again.
That being said, the issue of having a significant kingdom declaring war with them, no matter how opposed their people may be, was still rather serious. There would undoubtedly be a battle or two and might end up ruining both their reputations, not to mention their trade routes and any casualties during the battle.
As such, Genji offered to go there in person and talk the man down. While many of the counselors opposed, having finally gained a respect for their king, he left anyway without regardless of what they had to say. Angela was also left behind, left to pout and mope at being left behind and all alone for the first time in a whole year.
It only really took her three days to recall what exactly her husband was and what he could do. But by then, it was much too late to stop him. However, it was not as if she needed to. In the single day he spent in the capital under disguise, he had found out that the previous king had a much more capable heir who was unfortunate enough to be female and younger than the prince. All that remained was for him to cause the prince to look out the window one night and accidentally fall off. His fault for living in such a high castle.
He was very promptly chastised and met with very angry yelling in their room, before Angela hugged him tightly and told him to never leave her without telling her again. Realizing that the problem was not in his plan for the fact that he abandoned his wife, Genji took all the necessary measures to reassure her that he did love her and that he would do it again. A candlelit dinner, a long bath, and even a new set of undergarments which she very generously modeled for him that night.
They had various problems in the following years, some of which they dealt with peacefully and some which were strangely dealt with by some unfortunate accident or another. He had to do some freelancing assassination for other friendly kingdoms as well, to ensure that everyone didn’t connect the dots between the relation of conflict towards his kingdom and a random death of his adversary.
Eventually, things settled down enough that they began to think more about themselves. They had many advisors and trustworthy men and women helping with every aspect of running the country. While their opinion still greatly mattered as the rulers, having others to contribute different ideas and views was very useful. It was an idea that Genji proposed to the council in an attempt to get people more specialized in different fields as to have a better system of balancing power around the throne. Just one of the many things that he used from his time of being an assassin.
Actually, Reinhardt found himself with a new partner, the retired knight turned assassin. They ended up working together as instructors and advisors of the army. With them and Genji, Angela had never felt the need to fear for her life. There was only one occasion when an assassin tried to hurt her. In the time it took for her magic to detect the hostile presence, her two veteran bodyguards had already drawn their swords and her husband was already busy pinning the culprit against a wall to interrogate him about his employer.
And so, they decided to have a child. Actually, they ended up having two. After their first child had been around for a year, they realized how wonderful it was and wasted no time in having another one. The elder one was female, who had a talent for finding her dad despite him utilizing various assassin skills to hide during hide-and-seek. Eventually, he resorted to climbing on top of the roof, much to the amusement of his wife, only for them both to realize that their daughter had inherited flight. Even if only temporarily.
After a near accident that gave them a nostalgic reminder of their past, they began to teach her how to use her skills in earnest. Much to her mother’s disappointment, she took more to her father, opting to learn various combat skills after seeing him practice.
As such, the castle staff soon found out about Genji’s past, something that he had kept hidden from them all that time. It was inevitable that they would question how the eldest child of the Shimada bloodline managed to evade etiquette lesson and got access to the kitchen 24/7.
As for their second child, he was the opposite. Somewhat reserved and opting to be more studious, he stayed by his mother’s side and watched as she used various magic to restrain her rampant daughter and heal up wounds. They soon found that he had a large potential for magic, being able to use the same magic as his mother despite still being quite young.
The two children got along as well as any siblings would, with bickering and bullying aplenty. However, they looked out for each other. Before the younger would gain his confidence as a magician as a young man, his older sister did not hold back a punch to defend him. They were allowed to go to a public academy under the watch of Reinhardt’s friend, though he was hardly needed for their protection. It turned out that the kingdom loved the two children to death, so much so that talking badly about them in the slightest at a bar would be enough to start a brawl. No one wanted to harm them and they got to enjoy the academy as anyone would.
Angela was glad that they got to experience life as kids, not as royalties. She had always been sheltered and felt that life was always so empty before Genji came along. Their children got to experience it all. Crushes, bullying, terrible education rectified by superb tutoring at home, shitty food, and most importantly of all, friendships. It only took their parents a talk with the academy administrator, a close friend of Angela’s father, and the kids proving their own worth for others to see them not as the children of the throne but as children.
Eventually, they grew up and became close to being adults. They began to learn more about their parents' jobs, though it was obviously the younger one who was more studious and diligent in learning about everything.
“Sis, I thought I would find you here. I didn’t even have to use magic this time. Now, will you come to the lesson?”
She simply pouted, flipping backward off the rafters to hang upside down to look at her younger brother. “But it’s so terribly boring. It’s the weekend and I want to go out to see my old friends. I bet they’re out doing something fun, like uhm .. preparing for the festival!”
At the excitement of recalling the upcoming festival, she found herself falling off, only to be caught inches from hitting the ground with a sigh from the brother. “Isn’t it the elder one’s job to watch out for their sibling, not vice versa?” he thought to himself.
“In any case, I’m aware that you have some poor innocent soul that you somehow convinced to go with you but you should ask mom and dad first, should you not?”
“They said it would be fin- Wait what do you mean poor innocent soul? What’s wrong with me asking my best friend to come to the festival with me?”
“Because I know for sure that even if the fireworks went off a million times, you’d never confess your feelings to her.”
There was a silence before the older sister’s cheeks would heat up, punching her sibling’s chest repeatedly (albeit gently, at least by her standards). “H-How do you know about that?? You better not tell mom and dad.”
The younger brother simply smirked, “I took a wild guess. Oh boy, she is really going to suffer isn’t she? The poor girl has been hopelessly in love with you for what … a year now?”
She simply sat there brooding for a bit over that thought before her eyes regained their fire. “Oh, as if you’d be making a move on that girl you like. What was her name again … Elenia?”
His eyes widened, looking around in panic before grabbing his sister by the collar, “Where did you get that name? I was sure we never even talked anywhere near you.”
“Your diary could use a slightly better magical lock and a better hiding place than under the false bottom of your desk drawer.”
Genji would later relay all this information to his wife, who would laugh and hug him tightly, talking with each other through the night about their memories. About all their secret meetings and endeavors, their strange meeting, and that wonderful festival that they could never forget.
Theirs was a strange life led by a strange fate. A princess whose life felt dictated by a single path by her heritage, all but resigned to her fate as being a pretty face for some unworthy prince to claim. An assassin whose life existed in only absolutes, kill or be killed, and the cold, merciless solitude of his path. In a single failed assassination, they found themselves in a brand new life that they could have never imagined. A life of happiness and fulfillment. One where they would never have to spend another night alone or afraid. A life where they could live with their children, watching them grow and become the next chapter of their family’s story.
The love story of a princess and her assassin.
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So I did the “get to know me” meme on Twitter but because of how Twitter functions now it’s a hard to follow mess of a thread. Decided to post it all here -- and hey, if any of ya’ll are curious, feel free to read.
1) When I was 10 my abusive stepdad threw a spray at me. I ducked -- it scraped my head. Sent to school bleeding b/c he was too stoned to realize it'd get noticed and I'd get pulled out of that environment immediately. This moment changed my life, left a scar on head.
If I hadn't ducked, would've hit my stomach. No cut. Whole childhood would've been different. My first Butterfly Effect Moment.
2) I started writing fiction about Pokémon. First-person, from the Mons perspective. Rotating point of view each scene.
3) I moved on to crazy crossover fanfic where I constructed an entire war, personal and political motivations, so many ideas I still like?
4) Part of this involved detailed drawings of Mario-themed Keyblades I wish I still had.
5) Paper Mario 1&2 are some of my most influential inspirations. expanded such a simple world so much so fluidly. (Harder than it looks)
6) When I was a kid my sister would wake me st like 6am to watch dubbed Sailor Moon. Bothered me they all sounded like same person.
7) I can recognize voices very well and even specific sounds and songs. Couple years back my roommate ran a test - playlist of 100 NES tracks, he'd play the first NOTE, singular, and I could recognize exactly where it was from if I'd played the game.
8) My first computer was a PC I bought w/$ saved up during an entire summer of custodial work in HS. Had no Internet.
So I'd use the public library's very slow connection to download things to floppy disk and copy them over.
Eventually, I was able to graduate to a USB. Obtaining music was hellish so I treasured each song I could download -- most from OC Remix.
9) We had this tiny rabbit ears TV that could get WB and Fox sometimes if it was set up in a specific corner of my sister's room
And so I would desperately use it to try and stay up to date on Pokémon and Digimon, it was so bad
10) Teen Titans was arguably the most influential piece of media for my teenage mind. It formed the base of so much I care about re:stories
Fleshed out, varied protags who grew together and each had their times to step up and step down. Action w/character dev context.
Fantastic themes important for growing humans; awesome moments "between the panels" instead of all comic book melodrama and action.
Then everything changed when TT GO attacked and pissed on everything smart and thoughtful because MONEYYYYY
11) Cowboy Bebop was the first "good" anime I ever saw and blew my mind open about what animated stories could do -- i.e. Not just kid stuff
I don't like "anime" in general because most of its common tropes but the shit out of me even worse than most western toon tropes
And yet like 50-75% of my most favorite shows ARE anime because thoughtful animated storytelling has so much potential.
11) I predicted months before Last of Us came out that you'd play as Ellie but when it happened I had to stop, cry happy tears.
I predicted the second I saw the Left Behind trailer what was going on w/those two and again, still had to stop and cry happy tears.
(I seem to have pretty good gaydar now but I also don't like, ship everyone together all the time)
It just hits me so hard when actual canon queerness happens in mass media and is done well, but we're still so bad at following through.
12) Favorite m/m ship: Troy and Abed in the Morning. Favorite w/w ship: Max and Chloe BFF Pirates 2008.
ATLA ships: Tokka the most, also Katang, also Smellershot. ATLA makes me more open to shipping than any other series?
Like, Zutara makes me feel kinda gross and some of the crack ships like Sokka/Azula scare me but otherwise I'm pretty chill w/ATLA ships?
13) When I was a kid, and we'd role play, I always wanted to play the girl characters. I was surrounded by boys so they always were weirded.
It was weird to me, too, honestly.
Now it makes perfect goddamn sense.
14) Apparently I was kidnapped as a baby by some mobster or something but it's hard to tell with my mom what's real or not.
15) Smash Bros. Melee was the first game I ever got genuinely hype over before launch. I still remember being startled to discover it --
-- existed via E3 trailer on GameTrailers back on my goddamn dialup connection in 2001. I had to wait all fuckin' day for that thing to load
And when it did, it was GLORIOUS (and had FZero music, which at the time I did not recognize) and I was FLOORED.
The screenshots made the game look too good to be real, and I was instantly sold on the GameCube, the first time I NEEDED new hardware Day 1
I got SSBM as an Xmas gift before my grandpa's GCN present arrived, so for a week or two all I could do was stare at the box/manual/disc
That game kind of changed my life -- SSB64 was the first time I'd gotten so invested in a multiplayer game, and SSBM crushed it.
A fire was born in me -- competition, something I'd never been much interested in w/games before, not against actual humans.
Those months between E3 2001 and finally getting to play SSBM felt like forever. And thus did I post online fiction for the first time.
That's actually how I met @SDiDuro , my first 'Internet friend' and what I'd consider to be my first proper 'reader.'
16) After college, I ended up working at a call center because it was the only job I could find and I needed to support my disabled wife.
DURING college, I gave up on writing fiction and had focused on gaming editorial through a site where I'd engaged with an online community
But that empty space between phone calls eventually got filled in by writing fiction on a notepad, with a pen, inspired by Street Fighter 4.
Eventually, this evolved and radically changed into what is now (still in dev) DownRight Fierce.
Back then, I had no idea I'd be motivated to DO this, though -- write original fiction -- but the fire had been re-lit.
I wanted to write.
I was sickened by my "naive" adolescence crossover fics and wiped them from my http://FF.net profile and started anew.
Having just come off of ATLA 1st time, I knew I wanted to explore that world/characters more, so I wrote a story about Toph & puberty.
That serving as "practice," I then went on to write SRU, and...well, that...changed EVERYTHING.
17) My biological dad (who I have never met) has OCD, to the point where he apparently washed his skin raw trying to avoid germs?
So as soon as I showed enthusiasm in gaming, my parents FREAKED and worried I was exhibiting OCD and they brought the hammer down.
They made me feel BAD for writing about video games when I wasn't playing them, but they never READ anything I fucking wrote.
Even now, my mom tries to comment on what a good writer I supposedly am, yet when I ask for her thoughts, I ask what she's read?
Silence.
I wasn't writing fiction based on games because I was THAT addicted to games.
I did it because a storyteller was awakening within me --
-- and I told stories through the worlds and characters I was familiar with.
(And my first genuinely "serious" fic was Teen Titans, anyway)
But even now, it really hurts that my parents will sometimes try to guilt me over not calling or whatever the fuck, when they never READ
never supported, and actively DISCOURAGED my writing, my storytelling, refused to understanding why I loved games.
18) I never watched Avatar until after college (years after it had finished), and I watched it because of the live action movie.
I watched halfway through the season 1 of the cartoon to get "read up" on it. Then the movie. Which was horrible. Then the rest of season 1.
At that point, the movie utterly baffled me. My wife and I proceeded to marathon the rest of the series. And it became my fav story ever.
But I ironically owe it to that terrible live action movie. ^_^;;
19) My taste in music is really weird. I couldn't tell you what my favorite genres are, and even fav musicians is hard.
Like, every year my top three fav musicians "change" because I just add more to the pile and spend the year focused on their music.
But music inspires my storytelling more than any other medium, I'd say -- in terms of me actually planning and growing ideas.
I didn't just give Nishiko and Seiko last names of my two fav game composers as tongue-in-cheek. In fact, that's not why I did it at all.
I gave them those names because I wanted some element of their very design to express how Japanese composers inspired me in my teen years.
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Thanks to @chom-raaa for the tag :D
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
It’s just cute so I keep using it haha
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)
Disregarding subs, Fire in the Night.
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
It’s a succulent! I chose it, because in Chinese they’re literally called plants with a lot of meat so I thought it’d be fitting.
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
Yes! I’m so thankful for them <3
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
There are a lot, but the most recent ones I can recall off the top of my head are:
Fair Ankles by Kells Literally everything by Xen but especially Whatever It Takes b/c fake dating is best trope ofc Striped by Alice and also her Doses of Serotonin series (don’t let the name fool you, most of them made me feel feelings of not well-being and happiness) Le Parfum des Fleurs series by Star dusk and there's nothing i can do and how could i live without you by Catsby
There’s a lot more that I love and reread often but I’ve been busy and not reading much so these are the ones I remember :)
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
No subs and 10 bookmarks (I don’t really use the system on ao3)
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
I’ve written a lot of different AUs, but I supposed a common one is brothel!Chuuya or just miserable childhood chuuya haha
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
User subs: 8 Work subs: 23 Bookmarks: 65
9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Basically everything, but that’s what online anonymity’s for
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
Writing specific: I’d like to improve on writing longer stories with actual plot Other: I’m basically constantly in writer’s block and only feel the creative burst to write every month or so and I’d like to write more often and make it a habit
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
I mostly write skk so I supposed popular ships.
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
11!
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
Oh boy, lemme see... 4 with a decent portion written and ~14 others with plans RIP
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
I try to jot them down b/c I have a terrible memory.
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Nope, but I’d love to :)
/cough/ we’re not counting that shelved one right? @miwagashi
16. How did you discover AO3?
I honestly have no idea. I’m guessing I just migrated over with an author from ff.net
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
ahah you’re so funny
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
Nope.
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
Nope.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
Just do it. And then edit like mad.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
Plot them out, but leave room for adjustments.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
Nope, hasn’t happened yet haha
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
I don’t think it’s necessarily a specific type of scene, but rather just when something doesn’t flow smoothly I can’t continue.
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
I am currently rotating priority on 4 one-shots, 2 multi-chapter fics, and the 4 skk week fics I never finished, but at this precise moment I’m working on Day 3 of the skk week fics.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
My ‘next projects’ just hit me when they want to with absolute disregard for my schedule so I’d say yes, yes I do.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
My daily goal is to attempt to write a word /sob/ I’m in writer’s block 24/7 T^T
27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?
Probably.
28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?
It’s actually so hard to choose, but I’d say had we but world enough and time and some to misery are born for skk and Live to Die Another Day for gen-ish (the pairing-less fate of this fic is so sad lol)
29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?
Ch 3 of Soul Oath: I don’t particularly dislike this story per se, but I struggled so hard writing it so I cringe when I see it.
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
Hopefully with more works out and with a better/consistent uploading situation.
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
The before and after (the planning and the editing)
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
THE WRITING aka putting words together that actually get my point across while being subtly symbolic and grammatically correct.
33. Why do you write?
Because I enjoy it :) I’ve always liked exploring various themes through the lens of various characters and imagining how they would react.
Tagging anyone who wants to do it :)
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