#so far he has NO ONE - the only person we've ever seen him try to reach out to rejected him completely!!! He has NO ONE inside or outside

[bumblingbabooshka]

The fact that when Milchick reduced his words/himself down to the barest bones he could the only thing left to say was the viciously paradoxical imperative: 'Grow.' over and over and over again

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override (6)

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: I hope you all have found ways to cope after the breakup, but here all your questions will be answered on what went down pre-August! Special shoutout to @just-fics-station @thepurplecrown @clarkysblog @hotdismylife and @sprinklesprinkle888 for sharing your ideas and indulging me with the lovely, crazy discourse!

To everyone, I am so chuffed at how this has become OUR story - our lil self-indulgent Ewan Nation production. You all are aces <3

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

In the aftermath of the breakup, the reader and Ewan throw themselves into their work, trying (and failing) to avoid any trace of the other. Will they remain this way - former lovers doomed to drift in each other's orbit?

Some time before August

New York City

The lush office was laden with expensive wooden antiques, one side with built-in shelves displaying film awards and plaques of varying degrees of prestige. A full glass minibar occupied the other side.

The casting director introduced himself as Bruce, insisting that Ewan call him by his first name and not any of that "sir or similar stick-up-the-ass names". Ewan can see him as a mentor or maybe even a friend, Bruce insisted.

After all, they were going to help each other out a lot.

The discussion was straightforward enough, never mind the saccharine tone Bruce seemed to be so good at. Aimed at making Ewan feel welcome, coddling him, remarking with awe at his projects thus far. But there was a fakeness to it. Ewan steeled himself, trying to adapt to the style of conversation. After all, if he is in this for the long haul, then he would have to get used to these situations.

Bruce appraised him, leaning back on his leather swivel chair. "How are you with the fantasy genre? All that YA, lovesick stuff the kids eat up so eagerly nowadays? Personally, I haven't got the taste for it, but it always makes bank, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, well, I'm a fan of all movies. I definitely see why the fantasy genre has made such an impact on audiences, especially with the romance element, you know, I get the appeal."

"Well, son, we've got a solid franchise in our hands here. Some adaptation of an elf-human love story, mind you, it sound ridiculous, but you know how it is. And the team seems to be in agreement - you fit the bill for the male lead. The male elf lead - " he almost guffawed at the thought, then collected himself " - hope you don't mind my saying that you've got elvish features yourself. Long nose, long jaw, lanky. The teens are going to eat you up."

"Ah," Ewan smiled curtly, nodding. There was a backhanded compliment if he ever heard one. "Well, sir, I've read the script - at least, the bit that was sent to me - and it looks quite promising. I'd be honoured to - "

"Of course, of course!" Bruce exclaimed in pleasure, cutting Ewan off mid-sentence. "And there's the case of your leading lady, and this all boils down to chemistry as you know. Our top contender is that Jenna Ortega girl from the Netflix show, you know her?"

Ewan nodded, well aware. He's seen her work, and thinks that she is a top actress of her generation, but leave it to Bruce to reduce her to being that girl from the Netflix show.

"Yes, she's a very talented actress," Ewan replied.

Bruce hums in agreement, head bobbing as a smirk materialises on his face. "Think she's a looker?" he said openly, without shame.

Ewan laughed nervously, his words caught in his throat.

Bruce, characteriscally oblivious to the discomfort of others, carried on. "I only ask because we're going to need you two to be pretty chummy with each other when you jump on this project. It's kind of a condition of the whole thing, but really nothing to concern yourself with." He waved a hand in the air, his proposition barely carrying any weight in his mind. But Ewan was catching on, and he started to develop a dislike about the whole deal.

"What do you mean?" Ewan asked.

"It's pretty common in this business, son. There's a reason why young, new actors like yourself opt to remain unattached so to speak, so they're always open to a PR arrangement or, you know, just so their - your - hoards of fans would think they got a chance with you," Bruce explains lazily. "In this case, since you and Ortega are, as I said, unattached, getting you two together would fuckin' do wonders for our movie."

Our movie, he said, convinced that Ewan was all in, because why would any young actor refuse such a golden opportunity? Franchises like this can set up an entire mainstream Hollywood career.

Ewan thought that he wasn't unattached. Granted, his date with you was yet to happen, but he already felt bound to you. He wished you were the one tapped to be his love interest. Very little acting would be needed there. Maybe he might even be inclined to go along with the idea of selling the relationship, using it for publicity for the film, but even that made him uneasy.

The industry offered a lot of privileges, but more often than not, they come at a cost.

"Sir, I - "

"Bruce."

"Right, sorry. Bruce, I have to tell you that I'm not exactly unattached."

"Got a partner?"

Ewan actually found himself smiling at the thought of you being called his partner. His first easy smile since entering this office. "Yes, she's an actress herself," he agreed.

"I heard of her?" Bruce asked with obvious disinterest. You were but a wedge in his flawless plan.

"She's kind of a new talent like me, but she's brilliant. She plays Alyna Rivers in our show."

"Ah her," Bruce loosened up a little. "I get it, she's a piece."

Ewan cleared his throat loudly, his jaw clenching on instinct. "So, like I said, I'm with her. I'm sorry but this whole PR arrangement with Jenna wouldn't work."

"Look, kid, I want my movie to do well, alright? I got a lot invested here. This PR thing has proven to be highly bankable time and time again. If you don't trust me, I can ask the team to show you the data on all that. It's a lot of boring numbers, but shit, the numbers are never wrong."

"I don't need to see - "

"If you wanna be with your girl, you can, but you just gotta learn to hide it. Sweep it under the rug, you know. Don't canoodle in public, you crazy kids," Bruce offered, like that made things any better.

"You want me to hide my relationship?"

"Hey, now, come on. Word gets around. Isn't your girl also doing this exact same thing with Jacob Elordi?"

"Not anymore, I don't think," Ewan clarifies, "and that was... that was hardly anything. They weren't obligated to do it. It just worked by chance because they were both single for a time."

"Po-ta-to, po-tah-to." Bruce clicked his tongue before making his next point. "So you see how it works, your thing with Ortega won't be any different."

"Do I have a choice?" There it is, the defining factor.

Bruce smiled slowly. The calculating and menacing air about him intensified, and it was obvious he was not there to be Ewan's friend.

"It would be stupid to refuse something like this, kid."

Ewan's blue eyes flashed in return. None of this was ideal, but his nan raised him well, and he knew better than to falter on his values in times of trial.

"Sir, what's stupid is if you ask me to hide my real relationship for the sake of mere publicity for a film."

"Stupid you say?" Bruce sneered, having already discarded Ewan in his mind, his fragile ego bruised. "What a shame."

There wasn't much to say after that. Bruce was clearly not disinclined to reveal the ice that settled in his veins, and it dawned on Ewan that it had always been the case. There was no true hospitality here.

For bigwig casting director-slash-execs like Bruce, this was a transaction. And Ewan was not about to put what he has, or what he could have, with you on the line.

There has to be another way to advance his career. If not bigger productions, then at least those with less domineering producers.

"That is a shame," Ewan said, getting up from his seat. "I won't waste any more of your time, sir. Thank you for considering me."

Bruce's eyes darkened even further. "You're actually refusing me? For some girl?"

Another genuine smile formed on Ewan's face at the thought of you. Some girl.

But you're not just some girl. He nodded without a trace of doubt in his mind, before reaching out to shake Bruce's hand. "If you don't mind, sir... I have to go and see my darling."

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Near the end of August

Los Angeles

The modern space sported a minimalist yet rustic feel, the interiors a blend of sterile white and sleek wooden surfaces. Very LA, as they say. The windowed walls offered plenty of light, as well as precious views of the valley below.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Donna," you greeted Ewan's publicist as she ushered you in her LA office.

"No problem at all, sweetheart," she said. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some coffee or tea? Ewan always has his coffee with way, way too much sugar. Mind you, if that kid wasn't active and boxing all the time, I'd be worried for his health."

You smiled fondly at her genuine concern. "Don't even mention the cigarettes."

"Oh, yeah," she scoffed, settling down on the chair across from you. She could have sat down at her desk, making the meeting more official, but Donna's always had a friendly and open way about her. "So, my sweet, how's your new movie coming up?"

You respond eagerly. The dialogue flowed freely, talking about your film and the lukewarm reception of season 2 of House of The Dragon. And finally, Ewan.

"I really thought he would get the Greta Gerwig film," you said. "Everyone said he was perfect for it. I think Greta herself had nothing but praises for him when they met on Zoom."

She sighed thoughtfully, "I thought so too. And, theoretically, he did have that one almost booked up. But there was an issue with one of the producers, which - I don't even want to get into that."

You shook your head, catching on whom she hinted at. "Donna, I heard... well, it didn't go too well in New York, didn't it? Ewan told me about it but... if you can tell me more, I just want to understand why - "

"Sweetheart," she offered a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes, "you should talk about this with Ewan."

"I tried. But he wouldn't budge. Mallory told me... that it might have been because of me that he didn't get the role? And also why he's struggling to get roles now? Donna, I... I can't have that."

It took some time for her to formulate a response. She didn't want to step in something that's none of her business. Your relationship with Ewan is yours. But when his career is on the line, she supposed that she needed to have some say in that.

"He met with this top producer in New York. This real old money Hollywood guy. For decades, he's built careers for the greats, you know - Pitt, DiCaprio, Theron, and whatnot. There was a franchise project practically offered to him on a plate, but Ewan refused, because a non-negotiable was that he would have to hide you in favour of a PR arrangement with his leading lady."

You swallowed, the weight of the truth making itself clear. "Couldn't he have just done the movie without that?"

"You would think," she grimaced, "but some producers... when they want something, they have to get it. And well, Bruce wasn't lying, that would have sold the movie well."

"I thought we were past this," you expressed sadly. "I understand how PR relationships work. Just recently, I found myself kind of in the middle of one. But there was no pressure, it wasn't forced on us, and it was meant to be all in good fun."

"I know, sweetheart," she insisted, reaching out to squeeze your hand. "Bruce is an outlier now. Most of the time you do get lucky, with an all-around supportive production team, just like with your project with Elordi."

You hummed in agreement on that positive note, but your mind kept drifting back to Ewan.

Donna continued, wrapping up her story, "but Bruce is still here, and he still has a lot of power. But you know, it'll be fine. Ewan's got such a huge fanbase and so much talent that it'll only be a matter of time before something else knocks on his door."

You wanted to share her sense of optimism, but something ate at you. What else will Ewan have to sacrifice just to be with you? This was his dream, his one dream, and you were standing in the way. How much longer before he is offered another project but he refuses to take it for your sake? Your thoughts blurred together, bordering on irrational, but you couldn't help it.

All you could picture was the unabashed sincerity on his face, that sense of wonder, when he told you that acting had always been his dream.

Being tied down to you, this early in his career, would surely only hurt him. And you don't think you're worth it.

"Ewan loves you, sweetheart. Anyone with eyes can see that," Donna said after a while, heeding the storm brewing in your expression.

He loves you. It was true.

Less than a month in, and you've already found yourself with a love that you've never felt before. And perhaps never will again.

And that was the problem.

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Late September

The podcast moderators are overly welcoming, if not a little loud for Ewan's taste.

The BBC podcast is called Loose Ends, and it's one of the first things Ewan agreed to take on upon returning to England.

He had wanted to head straight home to Derby, to bury himself in his heartache and bitterness, but the team for the show tapped him for a couple more promotional stints, riding on the high of the season finale. And who better than Ewan to offer to the media, the undeniable fan favourite.

Clad in an old gray shirt and blue jeans, people would think he just rolled right out of bed. He didn't really have the motivation to put in more effort. The only striking thing about him is his newly bleached head of hair, supervised by his stylist for a photoshoot a few days ago.

It was ironic, the timing of such a change. Ewan knew that if word got out that you dumped him, he would never hear the end of the joke of that being the reason for his hairstyle change, typical of all heartbroken sods.

Everyone bursts into laughter when he tells them about his mum's reaction to his nude scene. It feels like going through the motions, and he must have been so out of it, so forlorn, that his team prepared an outline for him prior to the interview. The questions and answers all pre-agreed.

Make them laugh. React as required. Remember to speak when spoken to. The mantra goes on in his head.

And don't think about her.

An impossible task, worsened when a moderator goes off script and asks, "Now it wasn't me who saw this, as I'm not on social media myself, but one of our interns did mention that you ventured into Instagram recently? Is that true?"

Oh fuck.

"Mmm, yeah, I guess," Ewan laughs nervously, his hand massaging the back of his neck in a self-soothing motion.

"And your first post went viral? What can you tell us about that? Our listeners would love to know."

"Uhhhm - " He remembers that the broadcast is live, and he can't exactly ask them to edit this part out, so he quickly settles for something indirect. Inconclusive. Safe. " - did it go viral? I'm not too sure how that thing works. I haven't used any kind of social media before."

"Apparently it did! And it had to do with the subject featured in that photo, Ewan. Your costar - "

"Mmm," Ewan stops him there, "didn't you say that you don't use Instagram?"

"No, I think I'm too old!" The moderator laughs.

"It's insane, that whole thing," Ewan shakes his head. "I don't know how to handle it. I'm logged off most of the time."

"Oh, you log off?"

"Yeah, yeah, helps me keep my focus, you know. Keep calm and all that."

"It can get frivolous, can't it?"

Ewan hums in agreement, and thankfully, the moderator moves on to his last question. One that does not breach the subject of you.

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Another day means yet another media stint for Ewan, this time for Now TV.

Still in London, his stylist Davey and the rest of the team prepare him for a day of brief interview clips, to be posted on the social media pages of the company.

Davey had half-joked about Ewan needing even more concealer than usual, the shadows under his eyes having significantly deepened after the breakup.

Some of his team have gotten wind of what happened. They would curiously ask about you, how often Ewan keeps in touch with you while you're on set...

You must be on FaceTime everyday!

Is it hard to be doing long-distance so soon?

Do you miss her? Is that why you're not getting any rest?

...but Ewan would only laugh uncomfortably, dismiss it by bringing up another topic or shifting the attention to someone else, or excuse himself to go for a smoke.

He'd been drowning himself in cigarettes and caffeine during the day, pint after pint in the nighttime. Aimless.

He is coping. He knows how it must look, but he deserves this. He deserves to drift for a while. It's the only thing he can do to keep himself from jumping on the next flight to Atlanta and begging for your hand back.

You said you love him. You did. He hangs on to it like a beacon in a storm. No matter how pointless it may seem, with you choosing someone else over him.

Work is becoming something of an anchor, something that keeps him from spiralling. He's an actor, and he has always wanted to be an actor. People now have expectations of him, and he will answer the call.

The interview session begins with generic questioning, stuff he's answered before on several occasions.

How special is the bond between dragon and rider?

What is a funny moment from set that you can share?

How similar are Aemond and Daemon?

All safe. He's proud of himself for not breaking mental clarity thus far. You're in the back of his mind, dormant as a memory, and not something looming darkly over him. For a while, at least.

But then he is asked, If you could invite any 5 people to a Ewan Mitchell dinner party, who would you pick?

"Matthew McConaughey - "

You.

" - Bruce Lee. I think they could strike up an interesting conversation - "

Your name echoes in his mind, and he can't control it.

" - Andrea Riseborough. She's just a chameleon, like in any role she undertakes -

You have great taste. Even if you would make him eat spicy food again, he'll take it. He'll endure anything for you.

He's stumped for a second, lump in his throat, and his effort in avoiding you leads him to mention someone who will always be a comfort to him.

" - Maybe my nan, because I miss her -

Your name. He has to say your name. Who else? Think of someone else.. but who else? Who would be better?

" - and then, another person. Let's make it from the show... it would be Alyna Rivers."

"Oh really?" The interviewer asks. She's not really meant to respond in this instance, but she knows that the fans would go crazy about any mention of you or your character, so why not jump on this opportunity? "Can you tell us why you chose her?"

"Uhhm, well, she's just an amazing character, you know, fiercely loyal, beautiful, tenacious," Ewan replies easily, "so yeah, she would make for good company."

It is obvious that he is describing you just as much as he does Alyna Rivers, and no doubt, the fans will catch on to this detail.

Later, he's asked about his favourite part about season two, and he duly answers, "Seeing more of Aemond and Vhagar's bond and how that perhaps have gotten stronger. Aemond has definitely reined her in, after the accident at Storm's End."

Then, "There are some new additions to the show. Do you have a particular favourite?"

Another obvious piece of bait. And he takes it, he doesn't care anymore. What's the use of denying the truth?

"A favourite new character? Oh, well, uhmm... I really do like Alyna, and I think I've said before that Aemond and her are quite similar in a sense that they both know what they want and how to achieve it. It's just a shame they're on opposing sides, because if those two get together... " he trails off, leaving it up to the audiences to fill in the rest of the thought.

And they eagerly do. The clips where Ewan mentions Alyna get the most traction, flooded with comments that more or less talk of the same thing -

We know why you chose Alyna, Ewan. We know your ways.

He could have said Alys. Or Gwayne. Or even the ghost of Daeron ffs. But nooooo.... it's Alyna Alyna Alyna 😮‍💨

I wonder if she's there behind the scenes

yeah shes definitely lurking in the background!

Aemond and Alyna better have at least a scene together in season 3!!!!!

Someone kidnap Ryan Condal and make him write this

Ewan doesn't see any of it. Not that he's missing out, because he soon feels the need to call his younger cousin to ask her how to turn off his notifications on Instagram.

Day in and day out, his one single post gets dozens of new comments and likes, a brutal reminder of what he's lost. He could just delete it, and get rid of his profile entirely, but he hates to imagine the discourse that would follow.

All the invasive allegations and rumours. So he leaves it be. It makes no difference to him now. Let people believe what they want.

To his chagrin, he finds himself scrolling on his home page once in a while. The addictive element to it was true, and for him, it's exacerbated because the things he sees are often related to you.

Photos of you from fanpages and news accounts. Ones where your friends have tagged you. It's a toxic habit, looking through it all, but he can't help himself.

Then one day, as he's slouched on the seat in his London apartment, phone propped on his knees, he sees a cutout photo of his face on the corner of the screen. He clicks on it, and it's an image of him interposed among different posts. Posts which he apparently liked.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he cusses at himself, reading the caption.

Boyfriend lurking? - Ewan Mitchell may play a formidable TV villain, but in real life, he's just like us. Click on the link in bio to see his series of liked posts!

Dread takes root in him, followed by self-loathing. Why couldn't he just keep off this bloody thing? He takes to the comments to see what he has allegedly liked on accident and it's predictably photos of you - you at a premiere, stills of you as Alyna, and even, heavens fucking forbid, a behind the scenes shot of you getting pretty close with Jacob Elordi on the set of your film.

He vividly remembers seeing that last one, because he went on a bender after coming across it.

Cursing himself and his wayward, sticky fingers, he exits the app and deletes it from his phone.

Whatever goes on there, whatever people might leave on his profile, he washes his hands of it.

He calls up several of his mates, asking them if they want to come over for a few drinks.

"Again, Ewan?" one of them exclaims. "C'mon, you gotta take a breather, mate."

"I don't need a breather." I need her.

"Ewan - "

His composure breaks, all his damned frustrations rising to the surface, and he confesses, "I wonder if she thinks about me."

"Hang in there, mate. We're coming over."

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October

The director finally yells a satisfied, "Cut!"

It's only taken a good twenty-something takes for you and Jacob to nail a challenging scene. You had been on a roll since the beginning of the shoot, the last few weeks seemingly a breeze on paper, though it's a constant struggle to keep it together.

You've had to quell your internal dialogue so it does not stray to him. His smile. The feel of his skin against yours. His way of subtly picking up on details, and doing sweet things that surprise you as a result.

But you received word just before the scene that a few of your friends have come to visit, waiting back at your trailer - Phia, Fabien and his girlfriend, Bella.

And so, as if on instinct, Ewan is all you can focus on, every repressed memory of him rushing in like a tidal wave.

Do they know? What could you possibly say to justify what you did? You can only hope he took on that project, to give you a bitter sense of vindication.

It's the only thing that keeps it all the bay, the only thing that keeps you from jumping on the next flight to England and grovelling at his door.

Phia has her arms wrapped around you the moment you open the door to your trailer, loudly squealing, "I missed you!"

You sink into the hug, comforted by her presence.

As well as the fact that she represents some connection to Ewan.

Phia, Helaena. Helaena, Aemond. Aemond, Ewan.

It's a sick game to play, but it's what you have.

"Hey, yous," you hug Fabien and Bella in turn. Not long after, you're all lounging on director's chairs right outside your trailer, enjoying a bit of sun.

"How's our big Hollywood star?" Phia quips, her lips curling in her trademark pleasant upturn.

"Hardly a star," you shake your head fondly. "More of an indie darling."

"Of course, of course," she relents, before going on a monologue about how she's been keeping tabs on your project, how she just adores the costume designer whom she spoke to at length while you were working, and how the rest of the cast is rooting for you.

The rest of the cast.

"Ah, are they?" you ask, making a conscious effort to not simply blurt out his name. What does he think? Has he mentioned you at all?

Do they know?

Do they secretly hate you for what you did?

"Mhmm, right Fabs?" she says.

"Oh, definitely." Fabien agrees right away.

"How's your film? Are you done shooting in Philly?" you ask him.

"Just about done, but I think we're doing some final reshoots next week. I'm just glad my girl's here to visit," he slings an arm around Bella, who smiles and leans closer to him.

You smile at the sight, but it visibly falters. Ewan could be visiting you on set right now, just like Bella with Fabien, if you hadn't fucked it all up.

They notice.

"Love," Phia sighs, her tone softening. "I just want you know - we want you know - we're here for you, okay? No matter what you went through with... " A pause. Like saying his name would open up the floodgates.

Your gaze falls to your lap in shame. You pick on invisible lint on your trousers. Bite your lip. Breathe deeply.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"So you guys know, huh?"

"Well, more or less," Phia says. "I just spoke with... Ewan... recently. He's back in Derby for the time being, and he's - "

"He's a bit rough," Fabien says firmly. He's not taking sides here, but he's heard from Ewan, and he feels the need to have his mate's back. "Look, I don't want to pry, but what happened? It seemed like you guys were doing so well together!"

"You don't have to tell us," Phia adds, shooting Fabien a look. "But if you want to, we're here to listen. We love you both and we just want to help, love."

You feel your eyes welling up. Leave it to Phia to be oh so sweet. You can't lie to them, you don't want to. Even if you did, they would see right through it.

Your friends know you too well.

"I... I miss him."

Phia squeezes your hand, and the whole story is about to spill out of you when you hear your name being called.

It's your assistant Clara, letting you know you're needed back on set.

You swallow back tears, standing on your feet, trying to maintain enough composure so you can grant yourself access back to your character.

"Go do your thing, superstar," Phia smiles comfortingly. "We'll be here when you're ready."

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November

"I'd like to propose a toast," Tom declares out loud in the empty pub, "to Ewan, Hollywood's new elf... Lord? Prince? Ah sod it, cheers!"

Round the table, Ewan, Fabien, Luke and Elliott all raise their pints with a collective, "Hear, hear!"

The pub has been cleared out for the lads, thanks to a favour called in by the twins, with the owner being their gym buddy and good friend.

"Thank you," Ewan replies, smirking. "I am your new elf prince, address me as such."

"Your ears have never been pointier, mate," Luke quips.

After a month of moping back home in Derby, or recovering as Ewan prefers to put it, he got a call from his manager telling him that the offer from Bruce still stands.

Apparently, the production team for the movie still had him tapped as the prime choice for the lead. After observing his audience metrics and overall viability, they decided that the movie would fare the best with him in it.

They had planted some half-baked announcements in the media, stating that it was Ewan against Joseph Quinn and Manny Jacinto for the role, and the fan reaction veered in Ewan's favour by a landslide.

Even though Bruce had an unsavoury word or two to say about him, he was willing to work past it, so long as Ewan would be more amenable to his demands.

After careful deliberation, Ewan chose to throw caution to the wind, and accept the role. So what if he has to pretend to have a real-life romance with Jenna? This is what you wanted.

"I'm glad you finally came out to see us, mate," Fabien says. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, fuck's sake. Remind us never to break your heart! That was tough to witness, you hunkerin' down out there all mopey and whatnot," Elliott laughs.

"Mmm." Ewan takes a swig of his beer to hide the wince he couldn't hold back. His friends, and most of the cast know by now, not in too much detail, of what went down between the two of you.

A typical short-lived romance of two actors. A summer fling. Most of them would look back and only see it as that.

Even though it was so much more. Even though Ewan still recalls how warm and soft and beautiful you felt as you whimpered underneath him, the loss of you as painful as getting hit by a freight train.

The liquor helps. Burying himself in work helps. Denial... well, that certainly helps the most.

When he goes out to the back garden for a smoke break with Fabien, he tricks himself into believing it's mere curiosity that compels him to say, "Phia mentioned that you guys went to Atlanta."

Fabien is rendered off guard, because he knows what's coming. "Yeah, we did. Bella came with us too. She was visiting me on set," he says, measuredly.

"Mmm." A long drag, a flick of ash towards the ground, an unaffected shrug - and eventually, with as impassive of a tone as he can muster, Ewan asks, "So how is she?"

Fabien smiles knowingly. "She's doing great. Her film's looking pretty good." He's privy to the truth, after he and Phia managed to gently coax it out of you over several martinis at a hotel bar in Atlanta. But he doesn't think it up to him to reveal that to Ewan, out of respect for your privacy.

While he might not share your sentiment, he thinks it's not in his place to tell Ewan that you basically lied for his sake.

But that doesn't mean he won't drop a helpful nugget or two.

"You know, I don't exactly know what's going on... but her and Jacob came across as nothing more than friends."

Ewan's hand freezes mid-air, the cigarette inches from his lips. He loathes the sense of hope that immediately bloomed in his chest. He's so bloody easy. One miniscule hint, and his delusions break through the wall of indifference he worked so hard to build.

"She said she has feelings for him," Ewan stresses, trying to convince himself. What was the fucking point of all this... this pain... if you never did?

"Hey, mate, I dunno," Fabien puts his hands up, "just telling you what I saw."

"It doesn't matter." It does. "She ended it." He wants you back, he will always want you back. "It's better this way."

"Is it?"

Ewan doesn't answer. He doesn't know how to, without grossly embellishing the truth.

Fabien watches his friend, sensing his hesitation as he averts his gaze. One thing becomes clear to him - you and Ewan are far from being over.

So he says, "She misses you, you know."

Ewan regards him with a stony look, one that slowly softens to reveal the broken boy inside. For but a moment, before he clears his throat and throws the butt of his cigarette on the ground.

"Let's head back inside."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

December

You're back in London, as production for your film is paused for the upcoming holiday season.

Work is supposed to be the last thing on your mind, but it just so happens that your manager has you booked for a chemistry read for a yet undisclosed film.

Phia came over to your apartment, insisting that she help you get ready. When you asked how she found out about your audition, she was quick to say that she was up for the role as well but didn't think it was right for her.

"Why not?" you ask, as she hovers over you, patting blush on the apples of your cheeks.

"Oh, you just get a feel for these things."

"Phi, it's just a chemistry read," you say, when she reaches for the mascara. "I don't need to get all dolled up for this."

She gasps, "Oh, but this is showbiz, darling. We always have to put a face on."

"Fine," you relent. "Do your worst."

The makeup she ends up doing on you is minimal, but it enhances your features just the right amount. You rush through your final preparations, folding up the script sample you were given and stuffing it in your purse.

Phia stands out on your balcony, in the middle of a call. The window screen is slightly open, so you hear snippets of the conversation as you walk by.

"Is he ready?" she asks. Who's he? You assume it's the guy you are doing the read with.

You don't know about him, but you are ready, so you stick your head out to say, "I gotta go, Phi."

"Oh!" She startles a little, angling her phone away. "Already?"

"Yeah, the read's at 4, I believe. Just lock the door when you leave, 'kay?"

She hurriedly whispers something to her phone, presumably ending her call. "I'll actually head out with you," she grins. "My work here is done anyway."

"Any plans for the night?"

She shrugs, "Might meet with Tom and Martha."

"Oh, why don't I meet you guys after my thing?"

"Uhhhm," she chews on her lip, thinking. Under her breath, you barely hear her mumble, "... hoping you'd be busy."

"What?" A restrained chuckle escapes you, confused as to why she's being so coy.

"Nothing," she tilts her head. "We can meet if you'd like."

The weird exchange is out of your mind when you arrive at the casting agency. You run the scene through in your head as you walk in the building, up the elevator, down the long hallway.

It's a heartfelt scene, if not a little tense, a dialogue between reunited ex-lovers.

Your manager Polina and publicist Mallory greet you at the doors, swiftly briefing you before directing you in.

"They're waiting, just walk right in, doll," Polina says.

"Okay, wish me luck!" You have your hand on the door handle when Mallory strangely remarks, "Don't hate us, sweetheart!"

"Why would I - "

"Go, go," Polina guides you in, then shuts the door behind you.

The office sports an spacious and open layout, with plenty of natural light streaming through large windows. The primary workstation is partially hidden behind a subtle partition. You see silhouettes of a few people behind it, so you walk down that way.

The figures reveal themselves soon enough - the casting agents you recognise as Patrick and Amie, sitting in front of the actor you're meant to read with.

A range of emotion washes over you, but you don't even have time to reckon with them. The casting agents divert your attention from Ewan, as they approach you with wide smiles in greeting.

"So nice to finally meet you!" Amie croons. "Take a seat. You two already know each other, of course. Between us, there won't really be a question of chemistry here."

"Right?" Patrick adds, looking between you and Ewan. "The fans sure think so, and we have to say we already agree."

"So just give us a minute to set up," Amie says. "Then we'll start."

You smile stiffly, settling down on the opposite end of the couch. You keep your gaze straight, trying to keep your attention on Patrick as he sets up the camera. Your heartbeat races the entire time, and you feel your hands getting clammy.

"They're all in on it," you hear Ewan say, prompting you to finally look at him directly. You take him in hungrily, admiring his outline, ever so handsome with his Targaryen-blonde hair and black leather jacket.

A weak "Mmm?" is all you can muster.

"Our teams, Tom, Phia... they set us up. Tom came over and I overheard him on the phone with Phia."

"Oh," you mumble. He doesn't even spare you a glance, leaning on the armrest on his side of the couch. He looks as if he'd rather be anywhere but here, next to you, and it hurts.

It's what you deserve.

"Is this not a real chemistry read?" you ask meekly.

"I suppose it is," he laughs humourlessly, "but it's not a coincidence that you and I just happen to be the only ones scheduled for today." He turns to you, giving you a critical sideways glance. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"I... I can leave if you want - "

"Mmm," his brows furrow, "you do seem to be good at that."

You look away. He is not being fair, but you weren't neither, that wretched night back in September.

And he is making you pay for it now.

But then you hear him speak in a softer tone, "Stay."

Stay. When you look at him once more, his attention is entirely on you, arm outstretched on the couch like he just tried to reach for you but decided against it.

Stay, he asked. So you do.

It's what you should have done, months ago.

"Okay, guys. Whenever you're ready," Amie says. She and Patrick take their seats in front of you, with the camera on a stand between them.

The script crinkles on your lap as you hold it with shaky fingers. "It's been a while," you read out your opening line.

The dialogue plays out twisted and ironic, now that you know who your scene partner is.

"Hardly," Ewan responds in character. "I feel like no time as passed."

"Feels like a lifetime."

He pauses, then sighs, "Do you even miss me?"

"How... how can you even ask me that?"

"How can I - "

"Why didn't you... why didn't you fight for me?" your voice breaks, the lines hitting a bit too close to home.

"You're a fucking hypocrite," he spits with venom. "You weren't exactly giving me anything to fight for."

"I did it for us. I did it all for us." If you didn't feel like crying at the weight of the scene, you would have rolled your eyes at the similarities.

"Like I said - nothing to fight for."

"Nothing? So you're telling me I was nothing to you."

"No," he levels you with an icy look, "you were everything to me. Everything. But you left me behind, and for what? So you can run off with the rebel sect?"

"The mission needed me. You wouldn't understand." You feel a sense of relief when the sci-fi elements roll in, otherwise you might have given in to your emotions and sobbed right there on the damn couch.

"I needed you," Ewan says, eyes not leaving yours. "I needed you and you abandoned me, just like that."

"And are you not better for it? When I left, did they not make you General?"

"See, that is the difference between you and I," he says coldly. "I wouldn't have traded what we had for anything - no position, no amount of wealth, no glory... I would have chosen us every time."

"Aaand cut!" Patrick jokes, effectively breaking the tension.

The two of you have unconsciously drifted closer, now only a foot part. Ewan does not drop your gaze, watching you closely. You see his eyes flit down to your parted lips, and he leans in almost imperceptibly.

"Alright, how about we go one more time?" Amie says, diverting your attention. "Give us a different take, and then that's it!"

Ewan settles back on his end of the couch. When he reads his lines again, his tone is harsher and he no longer meets your eyes.

Patrick and Amie commend you both afterward, singing praises about your acting abilities. Ewan is polite as always, blushing and grateful, but he practically dashes out of the door when the meeting finishes.

You're left standing with Amie, as Patrick has taken to his laptop to file the footage.

"The way he looks at you," she sighs dreamily, referring to Ewan. "You'd think the sun shone out your arse, doll."

"He... he was just in character," you disagree. "He's a good actor, as you know."

"Yeah, I mean, he nailed the part's rancour perfectly. But his eyes - oof - you've got a good one there."

Oh. Of course they would still assume you and him are together.

How desperately you want it to be true.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

An hour later, you've just sent Phia a text saying - You owe me. Where do I meet you guys?

But you hear a knock on your apartment door. If you didn't buzz anyone in, it can only be a neighbour or someone the doorman recognised.

Someone familiar to you.

And it's him.

"Ewan?"

"I need to speak with you."

You step aside so he doesn't linger at your doorway. He walks past you, a welcome if not unexpected presence in the room.

You can't decipher his expression, his gaze angled downward as he leans against your kitchen counter.

When the silence becomes almost deafening, you laugh awkwardly, about to make some silly remark on whether he is still in character. But he doesn't let you diffuse the tension.

"I want you," he blurts out without warning. "God help me, I still want you. I think I might have a fucking problem because how can I... after what you did - " A momentary glance of betrayal, but you see the spite clear in his eyes. " - but I do. I can't get you out of my system."

"I'm sorry - "

"I don't need that," he says sharply. "I don't need your sorry. I need you. I need to have you, and maybe this way, I'll satisfy whatever pointless desire I still have in me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying - I'm asking - will you let me have you?"

"Ewan, I don't under - "

"I'm saying that we should sleep together," he says bluntly, and it feels like the rug has been pulled from under your feet, "but only just. You won't be mine, and I won't be yours."

"You're kidding."

He shakes his head, before adding, "Don't worry. It'll be our little secret. To the rest of the world, I'll have a different girlfriend anyway."

His words register, along with the bitter ache at his words, that you won't be his, he won't be yours. This is purely for pleasure. There used to be love here, and now he just craves the comfort your body allows.

You'll be using each other.

You should refuse. This is not healthy; this is not how you move on. Can you even go back to being good friends after this? But also - what have you got to lose?

What, except for him, and for good this time?

What, except everything?

"So what do you say - " He closes in on you, and with every bit of malice intended, the name no longer possessing the sweetness it once held, he sneers, "- darling?"

💌 next chapter

Taglist: @namelesslosers @skymoonandstardust @valyrianflower @luckyfirebasement @omgsuperstarg @elissanatok @callsignwidow @sinistersnakey49 @darkwriteracademia @yyrzmomo @queenofshinigamis @luvaerina @shamelessblazecrown @mirandastuckinthe80s @elleinex0x0 @pierrotlu @aegonswife @strangersunghoon @lunampacheco @writer-ann-artist @gaiaea @of-swords-and-words @ateliefloresdaprimavera @m00n5t0n3 @helaenaluvr @peachysunrize @annie-ruk @luvly-writer @ananas26t @athenafaes @lovelyteenagebeard @mamawiggers1980 @moongirl27 @katherine93 @barnes70stark @justbelljust @cloudroomblog @somestufftoday @esposadomd @girl-in-the-chairs-void @insideyourimagination @vyctorya @wildrangers @livcookesgf @onlyrealjoy (continued ... )

Some notes in the margins...

Well well well... the transition from friends to lovers to strangers to angsty FWBs sure is a slippery slope!

The time jumps are so we get through the moping quicker! It's mostly back to the regular shenanigans in the next part. Only, you know, angst-ridden. But you hurt Ewan, reader. *wags finger* Don't say you didn't expect this switch! Tsktsk

So what now - will you accept this arrangement? Will things ever be truly okay? Part 7 is going to be hot and hilarious and stupid and messy, just as the doctor ordered.

Let's hash it out in the comments, shall we? 🗡💕

[loosescrewslefty]

Screaming, crying and OBSESSING over the way Anya and Demetrius are on opposite sides of the Neurodivergent scale and also far more similar to one another than either one realizes. More than any other character we've seen so far, it feels like these two are Yin and Yang, opposite sides of the same coin.

Demetrius easily absorbs facts, figures, and other information that follows a set pattern. But people confuse and frustrate him, and he deals with that by not dealing with it. Anya has the ability to understand more about strangers she passes on the street than people who see them regularly ever could, but traditional academics can overwhelm her so she is resistant to studying. And yet both of them are othered and seen as abnormal by everyone around them, building a wall between them and their peers that they both find difficult to overcome.

Anya tries to fit in through masking, pretending as hard as she can to be normal (with limited success) but Demetrius has given up after going so long without anyone helping him better understand others which leads to him disassociating in social situations as a self defense mechanism, to get in and out as quickly and painlessly as possible while telling himself it doesn't matter.

Except it does.

Demetrius didn't need to ask about Damian's stella. But he did. Because he wants to find some sort of common ground with his brother even as he reassures himself that it doesn't matter and he doesn't care. He doesn't pick up on the fact that this makes Damian feel self conscious, that he's comparing his one stella to Demetrius' six and worried their father will love him less for not being as successful. Demetrius doesn't understand how the subject switched to Donovan at all, and shuts down hard when their father is mentioned. Just like he did when Damian called and asked him to be a bridge between them way back when.

(Demetrius warning Damian not to get his hopes up about Donovan coming to meet him also conflicts with his internal dialog about how the people around him don't matter and he doesn't need to care about understanding them. If it actually doesn't matter to him, then he wouldn't care if Donovan blew Damian off.)

Circling back to the original thought though, I desperately hope that we're going to get Demetrius and Anya interacting directly with one another at some point in the future because I have a feeling that Anya's blunt, child-like nature will lead to her just directly telling Demetrius the things that are eluding him when he interacts with others, demystifying all the unspoken social cues he's supposed to yet cannot intuit for the first time in his life. And he is going to be in awe of this child for her ability to not only understand others, but translate for him when he cannot grasp whatever it is they are trying and failing to say to him.

Demetrius could appreciate Anya's abilities, rather than being afraid of or disturbed by them. And they could both understand the feeling of not fitting in with the crowd. Of knowing that others regard them with fear and contempt, or want to use the things that make them different for their own purposes and treat them like they are just a tool instead of a person. The potential is there for a very interesting platonic relationship between two kids who have spent their whole lives feeling like their differences alienated them from everyone else in their life, and in Anya's case a fear that the discovery of that difference would lead to her losing the love of everyone important to her in her life.

[traegorn]

Couple of takeaways from the notes of my recent political posts.

One, someone called me boring, which no one has ever done before in my 44 years on this Earth. That's not really important, but my ego has been dealt a mortal blow that it may never recover from. 😆

Two, there are really people arguing out there that the 2016 election interference wasn't real and/or that it wasn't that big of a deal. I have thoughts on that, but mostly I'm just exhausted on that bit.

Three, and this is the important one, a lot of people seem to really be negative about having to vote for Harris. Now, I'm not arguing with them because they're allowed to have a different opinion than I do, and in the end we're on the same side in this fight. We're voting the same way to try to keep Trump out of the White House.

So this next part isn't for them. If that's you? We're good. You can keep scrolling. This comment is for people who aren't reluctant in their choice to vote for Harris. This is for the people that want to vote for her.

You're allowed to be excited to vote for Kamala Harris.

Don't feel guilty about that if you do. If we win she'll become the first woman president. She'll be only the second person of color to hold the office. She'll be the second black president, and the first South Asian American president. It's a big deal.

Also, as I've said many times before, she's the most left presidential candidate we've seen in my lifetime. Presidential candidates will always be more centrist bits of the party (especially when the Republicans are running someone so far to the right), but she has some good bona fides! Is she my ideal candidate? No - but she's the best I've gotten a chance to vote for.

And people need to remember you can like someone or something and still be critical of it. Hell, in politics it's practically required.

I was really negative on Biden in 2020, but I voted for him anyway because at heart I'm a pragmatist. He pleasantly surprised me though. And Harris is better than Biden.

So, yeah, if you're voting for Harris -- great. We don't need to argue about your reasons. But if you're happy to? Don't feel ashamed of that.

We're in this one together.

...something something gimli/legolas dot gif

[fangsandfeels]

The vagueness of Astarion sleeping mechanics drives me mad sometimes

So, the game says that elves don't sleep - to the point where it's ironically stated that the only way for them to experience sleeping is to either drink a potion of Angelic Slumber or "get hit really hard with a chair".

Instead, they enter a semi-aware meditative state (Revery) where they experience memories from their past lives (usually most positive and emotional parts). Or they just sorting through their current memories.

Now, we've seen Astarion meditating if his way of lying on a bedroll is anything to go by. He is also immune to sleeping spells. We could also see him sleeping (in a Durge run). I know that devs technically recycle the same sleeping pose for all romanced companions, but still. Also, Astarion has nightmares, which is not typical for elves.

Of course, when I was going through the lore, I scratched the surface, but from what I understood, Revery is supposed to be a controlled state, and nightmares aren't exactly controlled.

But, I've found a very interesting bit that (so far) is still considered part of the official canon:

Elves can sleep and dream just like any human, but almost all surface elves avoid doing so. Dreams, as humans know them, are strange and confusing to elves. Unlike the actual memories of one’s primal soul, present life, or past lives, dreams are uncontrolled products of the subconscious, and perhaps the subconscious minds of those past lives or primal souls as well. An elf who dreams must always wonder whose mind these thoughts first arose from, and why. Priests of Sehanine Moonbow are an exception: they sleep and dream to receive signs from their god, and elves consult such priests to interpret their own dreams."

From: Mordenkainrn's Tome Of Foes, Chapter 2: Elves

And not only does this little bit explain a lot, but it also provides some food for your fic writing purposes.

Now, I'm entering the headcanon territory, so be warned.

Astarion's access to Revery got horribly fucked up after he had been Turned. Not only does he no longer have access to his previous lives since he is technically dead and plucked from the cycle, but he also can't even have his happy or good memories before he became a spawn. Even if they are still there, somewhere in the memory palace, getting to them requires going through the catalog of traumatic and painful memories he acquired after being enslaved by Cazador. It's like running through a burning house trying to rescue your family photo - and the hall gets longer each time. So, entering a trance means confronting the worst memories of his life over and over because there is nothing else there.

Due to this Astarion may resort to sleeping, which elves don't usually do. Elves don't like dreams because dreams are subconscious, and they can't be controlled, which scares them. For Astarion, however, it means there is a chance of him subconsciously dreaming of something nice or just being blissfully empty. However, it doesn't safeguard him from nightmares which (because they are the product of his unconsciousness) get even more twisted than simple memories.

Additionally, there can be a possibility that after becoming a spawn he got cut off from meditation and trances completely, relying on sleeping only: at least, the cut spawn epilogue by Withers mentions how while Astarion needs to sleep again, he doesn't sleep alone. While we don't know what that means exactly (and whether it will ever be implemented in the game), I assume that the tadpole gave him the ability to meditate back, but it was a small improvement because his memory headspace no longer holds happy memories capable of offering solace or refuge.

So, my personal headcanon is that he switches between meditating and sleeping depending on how aware he needs to be, and whatever option feels less torturous at the moment.

For instance, in his Origin run, when he remembers the moment of Cazador carving scars into him, he is in a trance. Which is why the memory is so horribly vivid, as if he is reliving it anew.

However, when he has a nightmare where Cazador finds him, he is sleeping and experiencing a memory affected by his subconsciousness. Which is why he jolts himself awake and desperate to know the limits of his freedom.

So, yes, the man literally can't catch a break.

On a happier note (and for your hurt/comfort fanfiction purposes), once Astarion starts traveling with Tav and the group, his memory bank gets updated with memories that are actually fun and nice, so he has something to linger upon when he is meditating. Sleeping gradually becomes a bit more pleasant experience because his subconsciousness got more material to work with, so the quality of his non-controlled dreams has to gradually improve.

[thebroccolination]

THAMEPO'S RELATIONSHIP (AS OF EPISODE 4)

Back when the teaser (made as an appeal to sponsors) aired in part two of GMMTV's 2024 showcase, and especially after the trailer (cut from the actual series) aired, I thought ThamePo looked like it would become one of the strongest series GMMTV has ever made.

So far, even though we're only four episodes in, it's well surpassing my expectations. Apparently, it's a passion project that the director had in the making for five years, waiting for the right casting to come along, so based on that alone, it's a series made with love. And I have a soft spot for passion projects. <3

Still, the top criterion I judge all series by is the quality of the writing, and since ThamePo's director is also a seasoned screenwriter who developed the script, this is one of the strongest aspects of the series so far.

Over the past four episodes, we've seen our protagonist's flaws (people-pleasing, projecting, temper) and strengths (resourcefulness, observational skill, cleverness), what he wanted (to return to the creative working world) and how it's changing (to reunite MARS). We've met the public version of Thame, the shallow version of Thame that Po misread, and the private version of Thame trying to make amends with his friends. We've met three of those friends (Jun, Dylan, and Pepper) and have hints about the fourth (Nano), and each friend we've met has given us more insight into the kind of person Thame is and what he's done to try and protect his group as the leader.

Since the main conflict of the story appears to be Thame being forced to choose between his band or his new boyfriend—

—Thame's relationship with Po has to move at quite a quick clip so he's emotionally invested enough in their relationship that it's a difficult choice. He's already extremely attached to his friends, so I'd argue one of the biggest challenges in the writing was having him fall in love with Po convincingly fast without it feeling forced by the hand of the screenwriter.

And daaamn has that been well-accomplished, in my opinion.

First, Po gets his Y/N moment.

It's established in the first episode that Thame saw Po at a fanmeeting once and remembered him because Po did something kind for someone when he didn't have to. Presumably because Thame's in a fairly cutthroat industry where people are constantly vying for his attention, maneuvering him like a chess piece, or flat-out ignoring him, that small act of kindness was probably one of the bright points of his day, week, or even month. Especially as things started falling apart with the other members.

In that same episode, we see Po projecting the heartbreak from his previous relationship onto Thame.

And in return, Thame—who spends most of the next episode docilely doing whatever he's told to do by the company—allows some of what he's hidden to show out of frustration presumably brought on by being so thoroughly misunderstood and chastised by a stranger he used to think well of and now suspects of being a sasaeng.

Because both characters are in such vulnerable places emotionally, it translates well to the narrative when they start to depend on one another.

On Po's end, his recent breakup has left him feeling foolish and exposed, taken advantage of by a man who refused to acknowledge Po's sacrifices or show any true appreciation for all the work Po did to see him succeed.

Meanwhile, Thame is alone in every way that matters.

His parents are neglectful,

his friends abandoned him,

and his boss is manipulating him.

At the start, Po is quite literally the only ally he has.

It's because Po kept at him to be honest, to be sincere, that Thame woke up and decided to fight for himself.

And because Thame is doing something for himself for a change, that's what wins back his closest friend Jun.

What I love about this whole narrative is that it's already established from Po's previous relationship that he's the kind of person to give himself entirely to a cause for someone else's benefit. He helped Earn to his own detriment, he picked up a small child so she could see, and he's risking his job to help Thame find happiness and peace.

So it's entirely in-character for him to, say, go through a whole room filled with boxes of rejected song lyrics trying to find one piece of paper that he had to tape back together. Only for it not to matter, because Thame mended fences with Dylan on his own.

I'd argue this is what makes Po think, Maybe I'm too emotionally involved in this. Especially after Jun has point-blank told him that Thame would never be interested in him that way.

We see the moment Po doubts his enthusiastic support of this whole project.

And it's clear that this could have been where it ended for Po.

Until Thame, observant and kind and the polar opposite of Earn, says exactly the right thing to him.

Because that was the major breaking point for Po in his relationship with Earn. He was made to feel disposable. Extraneous. Unnecessary. But Thame recognizes the work he's done, the effort he's put in. He may be reuniting the group for his own satisfaction, but he's not so selfish that he can let Po's contributions go unobserved and unappreciated.

Then, y'know. Thame talks to Po until he falls asleep—

—and serenades him in the morning.

And the thing is! Knowing all we know about Thame—that his parents don't seem to care about him, that he's been isolated from his friends, that he's been made helpless in his own career for so long after being manipulated into signing contracts that restrict his freedom—it makes sense for him to be the one pursuing Po this hard. Just as much as it makes sense for recently heartbroken Po to be interested and yet hesitant.

Setting all of this up in four episodes while covering the entire backstory of MARS and their gradual reunion is a feat of excellent writing. We have a reason to care about Thame and Po's relationship, because it's been clearly shown to us that they bring out the best in each other and that they're willing, even at this early stage, to take risks for each other. We've also got reason to care about MARS, because they seem to be more family to Thame than his own, and they're his current priority.

I'm genuinely thrilled to see such solid writing come from a GMMTV series because as I've said before, they seem more and more recently to chuck first drafts on an assembly line and just assume the fandom will watch anything regardless of the quality as long as certain khuujin are cast as the leads (which, y'know, isn't untrue).

While I enjoy some GMMTV QL series as mindless fluff to watch with friends, there are very few I'd say are written well. Apart from ThamePo, only five other series I've seen have what I'd consider well-executed scripts: Pluto (2024), Be My Favorite (2023), Dark Blue Kiss (2019), SOTUS S (2017), and SOTUS (2016). Sadly, I think Not Me (2022) was on track to be one of the best with its first half, but the production was infamously neglected with episodes cut by GMMTV at the last minute and the script deprived of major edits that left the second half almost shallow by comparison. (Of course, Not Me had a host of censorship issues as well, so we may never know how much that interfered with the quality. It's still an incredible series for its ambition and for Nuchy's directing, and I'll be mad every day of my reincarnation cycle that it didn't get the writing support it deserved.)

Otherwise, nearly every GMMTV series I've seen has at least one major basic storytelling flaw (no character arc, a sloppy resolution, unconvincing setup, weak characterization, excess filler, etc.), and they seem to be first drafts with very little depth. With that in mind, I hope to see ThamePo do well enough that it sends a message to GMMTV that they should focus more on the writing of their series. I think based on what we've seen in the first four episodes and in the trailer, the script quality is reliable, and ThamePo's relationship may be one of the best-written we've seen yet. <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to do anything to help my roommate's baby?

More of a "was I an asshole" rather than "am I an asshole?"

I (21F) am a college student living in an apartment with two roommates, Anna (22F) and Mica (23NB). I've lived with Anna for two years now and Mica for one, and we've all always gotten along great with no major issues apart from the fact that Anna's boyfriend of several years is emotionally manipulative and incredibly insecure and jealous, but that's an issue for another time, except that I don't like him and make no secret of it. I also don't like children, never want children, and crying babies is one of the biggest overload/meltdown triggers I have because it stresses me out and also triggers some violent intrusive thoughts (I have autism and OCD, which both of my roommates know about, but never cause any significant issues and I don't act on those thoughts.) That is to say, I should not and do not want to be around children.

Anna and I live far enough apart over the summer that we only see each other during the school year, and this year I'm a junior and she's a senior. I showed up at the beginning of this school year and lo and behold, Anna is about five months pregnant. Turns out it happened toward the end of last school year, she didn't tell anyone at first, and didn't bother to mention it over the summer (which I'm pissed about). I was NOT expecting one of my closest college friends to be about to have a baby, let alone one that I'm living with.

For the next few months, I helped her out, drove her to doctor appointments, etc, because of course the shitbag boyfriend lives like three hours away (where Anna lives when she's not at college) and refuses to drive over to help her out himself. However, I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with the baby once it's born. I wouldn't be helping her with diapers, wouldn't babysit, don't want her to put formula bottles on my shelf in the fridge, won't play with the baby or anything. I don't have the patience for that, I don't want the baby in my shit, I work 20 hours a week on top of my classes and homework and do not have time or desire to deal with a tiny human.

Fast forward to when the baby is born, Anna keeps saying she's looking for somewhere else to move, wants to move back full time to live with her shitbag boyfriend, have him help with the baby. Our other roommate Mica helps occasionally with the baby and is willing to do basic stuff and occasionally rocks him to sleep when they're sitting on the couch and stuff, but I refuse. Several months later Anna still hasn't moved out and has barely made the effort she says she will, she talks about the boyfriend a lot but I have literally NEVER seen him in person since the baby was born (he was there for the birth and that's it, drove her to our apartment afterwards since I didn't want to be there, then left again).

If there's ever a time when I'd be the only one home at the apartment and Anna asks me to babysit for a little while, I change plans and always leave so I'm not there even if it just means doing homework at the campus library instead of my room. Anna is exhausted and literally does nothing around the house anymore, never comes grocery shopping with Mica and I because she refuses to leave the baby home alone but doesn't want to take him to the store, I'm doing all of her dishes cause apparently she can't do that either, she asks us to do her laundry and cook dinner and everything for her now and I feel like we're being treated/put into the role of the baby's father.

I cannot stand children, I don't think Anna has any excuse for trying to make us care for her child, she seems to expect us to take care of him while she's in class and she can barely even afford her own share of rent and groceries and stuff let alone a baby (or hiring childcare), and I made it clear even before the baby was born that I wanted nothing to do with him and will not engage with him or do anything for him, and I think my "it's your fault you had a baby, sucks for you, now deal with the consequences" attitude is what might make me an asshole here but I'm so exhausted and my mental energy is always drained from the damn kid screaming and crying and making a mess of the house.

Mica talked to me privately recently and mentioned that they understand that I don't like children and that they're also upset with the fact that Anna can't take care of a child herself when she's a full time college student without a job and a shitty boyfriend who's barely in the picture, but they want me to try to engage more and have a bit of sympathy for Anna and not leave her completely stranded with an infant. I don't want children, I don't want to live with one, and don't want to have to care for one.

It's now April as of writing this and I have since moved out of the apartment (Anna and Mica still live together), I left in January at the start of spring semester when on-campus dorm housing was available and live with another friend whose roommate transferred the prior semester. I still see Anna around campus but I feel like the baby completely ruined our friendship but I still hang out with Mica a lot and occasionally get updates that way. I'm much happier, my mental health is better, and I'm not living constantly stressed and on edge because of the baby, and Anna still hasn't moved in with her boyfriend despite saying she's trying to for months now.

Was I an asshole for refusing to support my roommate and her baby, and essentially giving the ultimatum of "either the baby goes or I do?"

[andy-15-07]

The Potion of Our Undoing

Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader Word Count: 2393 Harry Potter Masterlist | request

The dim light of the dungeon barely reached the far corners of Hogwarts' ancient potion laboratory that night, yet it was enough for two figures to huddle around a simmering cauldron. Severus Snape's dark eyes, normally so guarded behind a veneer of disdain, betrayed an uncharacteristic flicker of apprehension as he meticulously measured ingredients. Opposite him, you stood with equal determination, your heart pounding with both excitement and trepidation. The project before you was no ordinary potion—it was known only as "The Potion of Our Undoing," an experimental elixir meant to reveal the hidden truths that both of you had long concealed behind rivalry and reserve.

"Severus," you began softly, your voice almost drowned out by the gentle bubbling of the concoction, "I believe we've reached a critical juncture. The potion's base is nearly complete, but there's one ingredient left—a rare flower that only blooms under a full moon." Your eyes shone with an intensity that balanced the thrill of discovery with a hint of something deeper.

Snape's gaze never left the cauldron. "Your optimism is as misplaced as it is dangerous," he replied, his tone low and measured. "This potion is volatile, unpredictable. One miscalculation, and it could expose more than our hidden desires." His words were clipped, yet behind them lay an emotion he would never openly acknowledge.

For a long moment, the silence stretched between you, filled only by the steady hiss of steam and the soft clink of glass. Finally, you spoke again, your tone tentative but earnest. "Dangerous, perhaps. But what is life without a bit of peril? Our endless bickering, our rivalry—it's a façade, isn't it? I sometimes wonder if beneath our constant sparring, we're both concealing something... something we're too afraid to admit."

Snape's dark eyes flickered, and for an instant you thought you saw a shadow of longing. "You speak as if you have already seen what lies beneath," he said, his voice a mixture of irritation and something softer. "I have no interest in airing personal sentiments over a potion. Our work here is strictly professional." Yet even as he denied it, his hand hesitated above a vial of shimmering liquid, as if tempted to cross an unspoken boundary.

You leaned in closer, lowering your voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "What if this potion isn't about exposing our professional secrets but about unveiling the truth we hide even from ourselves? What if, in our quest for perfection, we've been too afraid to acknowledge what we really feel?" The question hung in the air, heavy and daring.

Snape moved away, pacing slowly around the cluttered worktable. "Our emotions are liabilities, not assets," he declared, though the tremor in his tone betrayed his inner conflict. "I have dedicated my life to the precision of potion-making. Sentimentality has no place in that discipline." Despite his harsh words, the potion before you began to glow with an ethereal light, as if resonating with the charged atmosphere.

"Severus," you said, almost pleadingly, "don't you ever feel that our lives have been nothing but a series of calculated moves? That we've hidden behind rivalry to protect ourselves from being truly known? This potion—our undoing—might be the key to understanding what we're so desperately trying to avoid." Your voice was soft yet insistent, each word laced with the hope of liberation.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Do you truly believe that this elixir could undo the carefully constructed façade we've maintained for years? That it could force us to confront the truth of who we are?" His retort was measured, yet the vulnerability behind it was unmistakable.

"Perhaps it won't undo us entirely," you countered, "but it might reveal the parts of us that we've hidden even from ourselves. We have spent so long cloaking our genuine feelings in hostility and criticism that we've forgotten how to be honest. I—I'm tired of it, Severus. Tired of pretending that our rivalry is all there is." Your words, spoken in the quiet sanctuary of the lab, seemed to dissolve some of the barriers that had long divided you.

The potion's luminescence grew, its colors shifting from deep violet to a warm, inviting gold. As you reached for two delicate cups, you added, "Maybe this potion will help us find the courage to be vulnerable. To admit that all this animosity might just be a mask for something... much more dangerous—and much more beautiful."

Snape's gaze met yours across the worktable, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. Finally, he broke the silence. "What if it reveals too much?" he asked, voice quavering slightly. "What if, in acknowledging these feelings, we shatter everything we've built—both in our work and in our lives?"

"Then we rebuild," you replied firmly, stepping closer so that your faces were almost touching. "I believe that if we let ourselves be undone by this truth, we might find strength in our vulnerability. I have always admired your brilliance and your passion—even when you masked it with anger. I've admired you silently, terrified that if I spoke it aloud, it would all crumble."

Snape's hand hovered over the cup you offered him. "Control has always been my refuge," he murmured, his dark eyes reflecting both resolve and a dawning uncertainty. "But perhaps... perhaps it is time to let go." Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he took the cup from you and, with a deep, steadying breath, sipped the golden liquid.

The effect was immediate. The laboratory seemed to dissolve into a haze of colors and memories. In that surreal moment, both of you experienced flashes of every unspoken glance and every heated argument that had hinted at a truth too painful to confront. Old wounds and long-suppressed desires swirled together like the potion itself, breaking down the carefully erected walls around your hearts.

"Severus..." you whispered, your voice trembling as vivid memories washed over you. "Do you see it too? The moments we almost acknowledged? The silent admissions that we were too afraid to voice?"

Snape's eyes glistened with a mixture of shock and dawning clarity. "I see everything," he said, each word heavy with the weight of years. "Every time our eyes met, every whispered critique—I now understand that it was never merely rivalry. It was... it was something I fought against for so long." His admission, raw and unfiltered, hung in the charged air.

The potion's magic seemed to weave around you both, its gentle hum punctuating the surge of revelations. "I have spent my life controlling every aspect of myself," you continued, voice growing steadier as the initial rush subsided. "Afraid to show any sign of weakness, even though what I've hidden inside has been crying out for release. I've come to realize that our battles, our harsh words—they were our way of deflecting a truth we were too scared to face."

Snape's expression softened, his typical severity giving way to a tenderness seldom seen. "I was always terrified that if I admitted my true feelings, I would lose the only control I ever had. I believed that to show affection was to invite chaos." His voice cracked, and for a moment, he looked as if he might step back from everything he'd ever known. "But now I see that in hiding behind anger, I was merely protecting myself from the very thing that could have set me free."

There was a long, heavy pause as the two of you absorbed the transformation that the potion had wrought. The glowing liquid in the cauldron had cooled, its job done, leaving behind a fragile silence filled with promise and uncertainty.

Finally, you broke the quiet with a resolute tone. "What now, Severus? Do we continue as we always have, letting our rivalry define us? Or do we dare to embrace this newfound truth—even if it means dismantling everything we thought we knew about ourselves?" Your eyes shone with a mixture of hope and determination.

Snape's reply was immediate, almost desperate in its clarity. "I choose... I choose to risk it all," he declared, his voice low yet filled with conviction. "For too long, I have allowed fear to dictate my actions. I have hidden behind bitterness and pride, refusing to admit that beneath it all, I have longed for something more than mere professional rivalry." His gaze locked with yours, fierce and honest. "I'm tired of the masquerade."

A hesitant smile crept across your face as you reached out to gently grasp his hand. "Then let's forge a new path together—a path where our undoing becomes the foundation of our truth, where we stand vulnerable and unafraid of what may come." The sincerity in your tone left no room for doubt: you were ready to embrace the possibility of love, no matter how perilous the journey might be.

As the night waned, the laboratory filled with the soft murmur of continued conversation. You discussed the intricacies of the potion, each dialogue a careful step toward a future that neither of you had dared to imagine before. "Do you remember that time in Professor Slughorn's class, when you critiqued my potion with such intensity, yet I caught a glimpse of admiration in your eyes?" you recalled playfully.

Snape allowed himself a rare, wry smile. "How could I forget? Your potion was an utter disaster that day, but you handled my criticism with a grace I rarely see." His tone was teasing, yet beneath it lay a deep-seated respect that you knew had always been there, hidden beneath layers of rivalry.

The conversation shifted effortlessly from potions to personal memories. "I've always believed our differences fueled our best work," you observed. "Our constant challenges pushed us to innovate. Perhaps, in our attempts to best each other, we were actually encouraging growth—not just in our craft, but in ourselves."

Snape's eyes were reflective as he admitted, "I have spent so much of my life clinging to control, convinced that emotion was the enemy of precision. Yet, now I see that this control was never about perfection—it was about self-preservation." His admission resonated deeply, the vulnerability in his tone breaking through the hard exterior he'd so carefully maintained.

The dialogue between you was interspersed with long, reflective silences—a natural cadence of two souls beginning to understand each other beyond the veneer of rivalry. "There is strength in admitting our weaknesses," you said at length, "and courage in sharing the burdens we have carried alone for so long."

Snape's response was almost a whisper. "I have always feared that revealing my true self would leave me exposed, fragile... but maybe being fragile is not a weakness at all. Maybe it's the very thing that allows us to be truly alive." His admission, raw and unguarded, seemed to hang in the air like a benediction.

As the hours slipped by and the first hints of dawn began to illuminate the edges of the ancient stone walls, both of you felt transformed—not just by the potion's magic, but by the honesty that had finally emerged. The potion of your undoing had, in its own strange way, undone the carefully constructed barriers between you, leaving only the truth in its wake.

"No more hiding," you declared softly, your eyes filled with newfound resolve. "From this moment, I want us to confront whatever comes with open hearts. Let our undoing be the start of something real."

Snape's reply was firm and steady as he squeezed your hand gently. "No more pretense," he agreed. "I have spent too long in the shadows of fear. If our undoing is the price for a chance at genuine connection, then I am prepared to pay it."

In that single, breathless moment, as the pale light of dawn crept into the dungeon and illuminated the space between you, the truth became undeniable. The rivalry that had once defined your interactions was now revealed as nothing more than a mask—a mask that had concealed a deep and abiding affection. The experimental potion had not only exposed your hidden desires; it had given you both the courage to embrace them.

There, in the quiet aftermath of a night filled with confessions and revelations, you understood that the greatest magic was not found in rare ingredients or complex incantations, but in the willingness to be honest with one's own heart. The ancient walls of Hogwarts, witness to countless secrets over the centuries, now held another truth—a promise that even the most guarded souls could learn to love.

And so, as you and Severus stood together in the soft glow of morning, the potion's legacy lingered in every whispered word and every shared glance. You had risked everything on the chance to be truly seen, and in that risk lay the seed of something beautiful—a future where every emotion was embraced and every truth celebrated. The potion of your undoing had, paradoxically, become the catalyst for your true beginning.

In that moment, neither of you could say exactly what the future held. But as you turned away from the cauldron and towards the rising sun, you both knew one thing for certain: you would face whatever came next together, unafraid and unbound by the chains of pretense. The journey ahead promised challenges and triumphs alike, yet the courage to share your hearts had already begun to rewrite the story you had once believed was fixed in stone.

"No more masks, no more rivalry," you murmured, eyes locked on Snape's. "Just us—unafraid to be undone, unafraid to begin anew."

He nodded, his voice filled with a quiet strength that belied the tumult of his inner world. "Together, we will be brave enough to discover what lies beyond our undoing. Let this be the first step toward a future defined not by our past battles, but by the truth we now share."

In the soft silence that followed, the echoes of your confessions mingled with the gentle hum of the cooling potion, leaving an indelible mark on both your hearts. And as the new day broke over Hogwarts, it carried with it the promise of a love forged in honesty, daring to flourish in the very face of undoing.

Thus, in the cool light of dawn, with ancient stone and whispered secrets as your only witnesses, two souls—once bound by rivalry and fear—stepped forward into a future uncharted, guided by the transformative power of truth and the courageous embrace of love.

[blackmarketfruitrollups]

This was supposed to be a quick thought, whoops

Will Hunting x Reader

Monotonous is probably the best way to describe my life. The dictionary definition of monotony is, and I quote, "lack of variety and interest" or "tedious repetition and routine." Yes, monotonous is a good word.

My world consists mostly of working too much and sleeping too little, doing my best to make ends meet but not always quite making it. It really sucks when you try your damnedest and people disregard you entirely. It's not my fault I was born into what they deem the wrong family, born into the lowest tax bracket in the poorest part of Brooklyn. But that's fine I suppose, what have those people ever done for me?

When I'm sitting on the train I try not to consider these things, the train home after work is the one time I have peace, stillness. A respite from grease stained clothing and hands covered in peeling burns, away from condescending managers and leering men. There's one train car that's always abandoned for some reason, and that's the one I hide in. I love it there, the silence, the peace.

Until he started showing up.

Well, until my shift changed at work.

A disgruntled and petty manager meant bad hours for anyone caught on the receiving end of his wrath, and this week it was me. The last thing I expected was for this to change my lack of company during the commute home, but when I climbed into my abandoned car, there he was.

Sprawled out on a bench with a glazed look in his eye was a shaggy blonde boy staring blankly out the window.

Why was he here? Nobody's ever here, but I couldn't think on it long before sitting down in my usual seat, on the other side of the train car.

He never spoke the entire ride, never looked at me once either. The longer he went without looking at me, the bolder my curiosity grew, and the more I allowed myself to study him.

I expected his presence to be aggressive, as most people's felt. Something to be highly alert around while also detached. Or kind of scared at the very least, I'm alone in a confined area with a man I don't know, that seems to warrant some concern.

But he doesn't seem to be a threat, so while I watched him that first train ride I allowed myself to be curious until we got to my stop. When I got off the train I refuse to think of him any longer, it doesn't do me any good to dwell on a stranger I will never see again.

And then I do. My work hours don't go back to normal and I suppose this is just how things are now, and my train car is no longer empty on the way home.

He's always there, always with that pondering look. Sure the expression on his face changes, there's tired, resigned, smug, angry, but he's always pondering. And yet I've never seen him exhibit joy. He's the type of person I would like to see joy on.

But what are these thoughts? I don't even know his name.

At this point we've been riding the train together for months, only the two of us in that car. After a little while he's started looking at me, but I don't mind it. He never looks at me in a jeering or perverted way, never once made a gross remark. In fact he's never made any remark to me ever, about anything.

As we continue to ride the train I find we both seem to have a thing for the stars, many nights I've seen him watch them longingly as I often do myself. What an interesting man he seems to be, and yet as I assume him to be my age he can't be very old at all, I would guess twenty two at the oldest. So I suppose he's an interesting boy.

The longer we ride together the more he looks at me, and the closer our seats get to each other. We probably have about eight feet diagonally between us now, as we have for the last week.

The closer we get the more I notice about him. Occasionally he carries books, although they stay mostly tucked under his legs. The books seem to be largely about math, something I've never been the best at, and he never has the same book twice.

I want to speak to him now, a far cry from the first time I saw him. I want to ask him about the things that he ponders and the books that he reads. I want to ask if he grew up in Brooklyn as well, and question him about how he understands such advanced math material.

But speaking feels like it would be overstepping, breaking some unspoken agreement to leave the train car how it is. To never go any further than just comfortable strangers, continuing your lives separately. So if someone was going to take the risk, it wasn't going to be me.

Although I suppose the shaggy blonde boy is more adventurous than I am, because while I convinced myself that silence was necessary, he turned and looked at me and in his thick Boston accent said,

"I'm Will."

[willmiwi]

I'm gonna drop this out there. Buddie being endgame just. Makes sense. The series being on season 8 and having already major relationships Bobby/Athena Maddie/chimney Hen/Karen and Buck and Eddie being the only ones that still seem to struggle finding the right person is not a coincidence. We're supposed to get to this point and think to ourselves "Hey man ... Everyone's happy and in a relationship but these two... I want them to be happy too, they deserve it" and it's supposed to hit hard being as we've seen throughout the show how much Buck and Eddie have struggled in their lives but also bc having a significant other is something both Eddie and Buck crave like nothing else in the world (if them looking for the right person non stop throughout the seasons is anything to go by). They want to find that person so badly and they always try. So so hard. So why aren't they getting that? Bc it's supposed to feel as even a sweeter victory once they finally get it.

Eddie on one side, doesn't seem to click with any woman he's ever dated and feels like he's failing somehow bc it's what he's supposed to have. He's supposed to be happily married to a woman and have christoper by his side. Being a happy little traditional family. But every time, no matter how much he tries, it still feels wrong. He even admits he dated a woman bc his son loved her and he was hoping he could too at some point.

And then there's buck, that has spent 8 seasons on and off relationships, but it's different this time. It's not like Eddie. He creates an actual bond w these women. He sees a future w them. But again they're not right. Not because he's not trying but bc he does and they don't try hard enough. Or think he's too much. There's always an imbalance of some sort.

And before any of u come at me saying how bucks dating t*mmy now, i just want to point out he's very obviously a plot device sent in to introduce buck's bisexuality (and even possibly, buddie's feelings realization arc). And it will be over soon enough too, like all the other romantic relationships bucks had so far, bc it's not supposed to last.

You can tell that much by the fact that they were never off to a great start, their relationship is literally a result of buck reflecting his feelings for Eddie (we get an entire episode of Buck going insane from jealousy being desperate for Eddie's attention, him telling Maddie about it. And then the last minute change of course w buck saying "trying to get your attention has been kind of exhausting." "My attention?" "Yeah, I guess so")

well bud, you've evidently guessed wrong, that's what we were told the entire episode, he made a wrong guess.

And things don't do so great after that either. What with t*mmy almost outing him to Eddie on their first date, dumping him on the side of the road after said date (if you can even call it that). The calling Buck "Evan" thing, after we've explicitly been told that people that truly know him call him Buck. Not having his back on things aka the refusal to dress up for the bachelor party (isn't that what truly matters though? Having a partner and knowing that they have your back?).

Anyway ! Fear not buddie enthusiasts ! whatever this season brings us, know that these guys are definitely getting their much deserved happy ending <3

[neroniiii]

Like where do I even start..

First of all, it's really funny that Hiruhiko's very first move minute one is to shove Chihiro in the way of Samura's slash. He was not lying when he said "I have to use whatever I can", even if it's his sweetheart😭

I know a large part of countering anti-Hiruhiko agenda was bringing up the potential of his third ability, but I think it's good that he didn't use it here. I think the focus on Yuu to set up Hiruhiko's relationship to it can pave the way for him to grow and gain a stronger use of the third ability... if he doesn't bleed out first.

Also. This page.

First off what the hell are those markings under his eyes if he's had them since he was three.

Secondly I deeply deeply love the confirmation that Hiruhiko doesn't have a belief driving his kills. It's interesting that his relationship to humans is described so bluntly as contempt. He's only ever known the worst of it, the parts he only knows of are things that exist far away from him- and the elements within them are completely contradictory to Yura's goals with the Hishaku. It makes sense that he'd hate it. I'm still gonna use the wording to assume there's levels to this hate, but I acknowledge this.

I AM ALSO SO DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH THE FACT THAT HIS TRUE REALM IS SO SELF DESTRUCTIVE. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think we've seen this kind of effect from True Realm on the user? And the fact that it's done to cave in the building... thefact that it's centered on Chihiro, the fact that the manifestation carresses the building so gently beforehand, he's trying to consume him. This truly was our cannibalism-yaoi-bachi...

I also like this 👇 page displaying the effective range of Hiruhiko's yuu through the paneling which the manifestation is crushing. Very good.

Also I'm going to fucking kill myself @ this page and it will be all this random japanese man's fault. I LOVE IDENTITIES BEING FORMED AROUND ONE'S LOVE FOR ANOTHER. I LOVE WHEN THAT LOVE IS SO SPECIFIC TO ONE PERSON. THIS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE

AND IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWWWNN N. Chihiro still refuses Hiruhiko his everything. It's a very resolute rejection, even after the roof and I justm.... AAAHAAAUUAAUAUUUGGHHHHH

Hiruhiko's face... his face..... he was so eager and still.... Chihrio does not fuck with him... He only acknowledges the dog Hiruhiko has in him as an obstacle that will burn itself out.... He won't acknowledge Hiruhiko anymore. I hate this... I hate this...

I'M NOT MAKING IT TO NEXT WEEK Y'ALL. I NEED SAMURA TO DIE.

And his arm again..........

[houxe]

Regarding my SBI/DSMP Fics

TW: Abuse, Trauma, and Mentions of Suicide.

With all that has happened, I did want to come out here and make my stance clear. I will always stand with Shelby (Shubble) and all of the victims who are speaking out against Will Gold (Wilbur Soot). If you still support that bastard, unfollow me and leave my blog and whatever small community I made.

I've already stated this is my Discord channel, but I want to put it here too.

For me, c!Wilbur is so far removed from cc!Wilbur that I don't connect the two. The characters are vessels for my own characterizations and stories. It's a bit like writing Supernatural*, Twilight, or Hazbin Hotel fanfics. I don't support the guy, monetarily or otherwise, he does not interact with fanfics, I have plans to be very vocal that I'm on Shelby's side no matter what/make it clear that what Will did is wrong, and I don't use his real life events as plots in my stories. At least, I certainly don't try to. It's why I typically change traits about the characters. (I.e. Tommy is shorter, Phil is taller, Techno is bulky, and Wilbur always has golden/hazel eyes.)

I'm aware that it's a tad different because it's rp and not something like a full on book or an actor in a movie, but DSMP has also been over for over two years and the characterizations I make for SBI are not at all based on the CCs. Real life Techno isn't a literal terrorist, Phil ain't a father married to a goddess, Tommy is not a traumatized child soldier, and Wilbur isn't suicidal and blowing up countries.

I think I'll likely focus more on Techno, Tommy, and Phil for a while, but I'm not gonna let one dude ruin a fandom and things I've made for myself. Nothing I write is ever made for Wilbur, as I've seen people saying. Additionally, Wilbur was not the only writer. Technoblade, Philza, TommyInnit, and so many others made that story what it was. Not him.

However, if any CCs come forward saying they don't want their old characters interacting with his, I will respect that.

Though I do think there is a tendency to take real life events (i.e. Techno's cancer, LJ's music, Tommy's real life parents, etc.) and put them into fiction about DSMP. I, however, don't try to do that and have stated before that I don't feel comfortable doing so. The truth is that we have not gotten any genuine SBI content outside of DSMP for years. The dynamic in real life is very different from what was presented in the DSMP. Did personalities still bleed over? Yes, I'm not going to deny that, but I'm not going to act like they're exactly the same between character and person either. We've had that conversation like in 2021, it's why we have C! and CC!.

The rather sad truth is, SBI is what got me really into writing and it's a comfort for me that nothing can compare to. Obviously, I don't think it's appropriate to be writing certain types of stories right now or to be involving characters made by CCs outside of the DSMP. I think it's up to everyone else to decide on what they want to do, however, rushing it also isn't the way to go either. Give yourself time to heal and think it over first instead of throwing away something that gives you comfort and has not been associated with by the creators for over two years.

Anyways, fuck Will Gold. Fuck the fact that he hurt so many people, and fuck that he lied and manipulated his way around the damn internet. ESPECIALLY fuck the fact that he tried to diminish what he did and not take proper accountability.

Go and support Shelby so so much, she and everyone who spoke out really deserve it. I'm glad silence on these types of issues is not being normalized.

Here is a list of (American) resources for DV help:

TNLR

RAINN

WOAR

Love is respect

The Trevor project

Futures without violence

National domestic violence hotline

Resource on what DV and abuse looks like

*Changed it from Harry Potter to Supernatural because Harry Potter is a significantly worse and more problematic franchise, even just within the content of the books. It'd be better left in the dust. I've talked about it before, but it was the first thing that came to my mind at the time and was a poor comparison on my part, I'm truly sorry for that.

[theamberfist]

How I Met Her Mother | Part 2 | Tighnari x Reader

Romantic: Tighnari x Collei's Parent! Reader

Description: When Collei and the traveler discover Tighnari's feelings for her adoptive parent, they make it their mission to get them on a date together through a (maybe unnecessarily) elaborate plan.

(Notes: none) (gender neutral reader) (reader is Collei's adoptive parent) (Part 2 of How I Met Her Mother)

Read Part 1 here!

I didn’t plan to do multiple parts originally but @4o3ok3id you ask and you shall receive! <3

Since you'd moved back to Gandharva Ville, you'd been extremely stressed. Between your work as a doctor, helping your daughter with her own health issues, and trying your best not to inconvenience any of the forest rangers, things could be a lot. However, more recently, you'd started to notice a few of those worries easing, as if someone had been lightening the load on your shoulders.

And, of course, that someone happened to be Tighnari; your close friend from back during your Akadamiya days. You didn't think he was aware of the fact that you'd noticed, but you had. He was always offering to take in some of your extra patients since he had some medical expertise himself, even after you'd essentially become Gandharva Ville's personal doctor. He kept you as updated as possible on Collei's condition so you wouldn't be left worrying in the dark, he let her rest in his own hut on her off-but-not-life-threatening days so you wouldn't have to see it, and the amount of times he'd brought over dinner for the two of you due to having 'made too much for himself' so you wouldn't have to worry about cooking was becoming too much to count.

You were extremely touched by it and always tried your best to repay him for his kind acts, though he rarely ever accepted anything, claiming he 'was just doing his job as head forest ranger.' 

You weren't the only one that had started to notice his abnormal kindness towards you and your daughter, though. 

"He brought you guys dinner again?!" Paimon exclaimed a little too loudly as she, Collei, and Aether crouched behind some bushes by your house. "That's, like, the third time since we've been visiting!" 

"I know," Collei replied, "Master Tighnari is very kind, and I think he can tell how stressed they are. I just wish I could do something to help them too; I hope I don't make them worry too much..." Aether could see the green haired girl starting to look sad and immediately tried to come up with a way to cheer her up. Luckily, though, Paimon seemed to have that covered.

"Collei!" She exclaimed, flying a little closer to the girl while still staying far back enough that she wouldn't accidentally touch her and make her uncomfortable, "Do you realize what this means?!" She got loud again and, momentarily, the rustling in your kitchen nearby stopped. All three of them froze but after a second it continued as you went back to preparing the dinner the forest ranger had brought; seemingly deciding not to investigate the loud noises outside. 

Aether shushed the little flying girl as Collei frowned slightly. "...No?" Paimon looked exasperated.

"Do you?!" She asked, turning to the blonde traveler, who shrugged. "Ugh!' Paimon exclaimed, "Isn't it obvious? Tighnari has feelings for Collei's parent! You two are both clueless." 

"He...Does?" Collei asked, looking a little confused but the longer she though about it, the more she had to admit that it did add up. Even before you'd adopted her when she was little, there had seemed to be something going on between you two that was different from your friendship with Cyno or anyone else. 

"Of course he does!" Paimon replied, "You should have seen the look on his face when he told us how they'd met, Collei! Paimon can't believe she didn't realize it at the time but it all makes sense now!" Beside her, Aether couldn't help but nod in agreement; she had a point.

"...I guess that would explain why he always does so much to help," Collei admitted finally, "And why he seems so much less strict around us than the rest of Gandharva Ville. I always thought it was just because they'd graduated together, but Cyno was in their class too and Master Tighnari is even stricter towards him than anyone here!" 

"Exactly!" Paimon exclaimed. This revelation put a smile on Collei's face. After all, you and Tighnari had to be two of her favorite people in the whole world. You'd taken her in when she had nothing; a scared child that was recovering from having the remains of a god essentially exorcised from her body. You were young yourself at the time, and yet you'd agreed to raise her as your own without a second thought. 

And then there was Tighnari; the man that had taken her on as a student the second she'd shown an interest in plants and basic level of competence. He'd helped make her who she was today; taught her to fight, empowered her when she felt like she couldn't ever be strong again. He'd even helped stave off the symptoms of her Eleazar alongside you. 

The idea of the two of you potentially entering a relationship- or better yet, getting married- made her grin widely. She already saw Tighnari like a second parent with all that he'd taught her, even if she would never be brave enough to tell him that to his face. Having you both as her official parents would be a dream come true, and if it would make you happy, she'd support it without a doubt.

"I hope Master Tighnari tells them about his feelings soon!" She exclaimed excitedly now, "I'm sure they feel the same!" 

"Knowing that guy, I wouldn't count on it." Paimon replied with a sigh. But then she seemed to get an idea because she suddenly turned and eyed Aether in a way only a scheming Paimon could. He gave her a 'what are you thinking?' kind of look but she just turned back to Collei. "What if we help them out?" She suggested, making him raise an eyebrow, "There's no way someone like Tighnari would confess to your parent; and especially not if he feels like they're already stressed. But if we nudge them along, maybe we could help them finally admit their feelings!"

There was a pause as Collei seemed to process this. On the one hand, as your daughter, she wanted you to be happy and not have to worry about her so much despite her illness. On the other, she knew it might be wrong to get involved in the situation when it really wasn't her place. After all, it was possible her mentor had his reasons for not admitting his feelings to you yet. 

...Unfortunately for Tighnari, though, the first reason won out in her mind and she finally nodded at Paimon. "Alright," she said with a wide, excited grin. "Let's do it. Do you have a plan?"

"You bet Paimon does!" The little pixie exclaimed, motioning for her and the traveler to follow.

Aether couldn't help but feel he'd regret being involved with this later. 

..........

"And that's why all of you should take on a little extra work today!" Paimon explained, concluding her longer-than-necessary presentation. The huge group of forest rangers, whom she'd dragged out of their rooms in the dead of night to convince, all looked at her with dead expressions. Beside her, Collei seemed to get a little nervous at the silence.

"Please." She added kindly. The rangers blinked and another silence followed before one raised his hand. 

"If we agree will you let us go back to sleep?" 

"Yes!" Paimon chirped, making the whole group cheer, "...Quietly!" They immediately silenced their joy before retreating to their rooms to get a few more hours of sleep before the sun would rise. Luckily, Tighnari hadn't been scheduled for any night patrol this evening so if they kept silent enough, he wouldn't realize the entirety of Gandharva Ville had been brought out for a meeting without him. 

"I think that went well," Collei smiled as she turned to the pixie and the traveler. Paimon nodded.

"You think they'll follow through with it?" Aether asked. He didn't seem doubtful, though; just curious. 

"I do!" Collei replied, "And don't worry, I'll take on some extra work too. Between all of us forest rangers, we should be able to give Tighnari a lot less worry about!"

"Which lets us continue with the next phase of our plan..." Paimon grinned evilly despite the actual act she was doing, which was very selfless. 

"Before then, though, we should get some rest." Collei told them, "I'll meet you in the morning for breakfast, where we can continue with the next part of our plan!" They both nodded at that before the group split up and went their separate ways. 

What they didn't seem to realize, though, was that their conversation had been overheard by someone whose lips tugged into a grin.

.......... 

The next morning, Paimon, Collei, and the traveler met bright and early for breakfast. There, they went over their plan while also not-so-casually observing Tighnari from afar as he went about his morning. The other rangers hadn't taken on much of their extra work yet, considering the day had just barely gotten started, but it seemed like the lead ranger was already becoming surprised by just how little he actually needed to get done. 

He'd already checked back with one of his patients to find Collei had taken care of them before he could and that one of the nearby withering zones he'd planned on clearing today was already gone.

Things were going perfectly so far, and as soon as the group finished their breakfast, they bid one another goodbye before going their separate ways. Collei needed to do her actual job as a forest ranger trainee, and so it was the traveler and Paimon's turn to put some of this plan in motion.

They headed out to the nearest withering zone, which happened to be not far from your medical tent, and made sure they would be nearby if anyone got injured. 

When a few rangers inevitably did and started heading for your tent, Aether immediately got in their way. 

"You can't see Y/n!" Paimon exclaimed dramatically, "They're- uh, completely full! Yep! No more patients for them today; you'd better let him teleport you to see a doctor in Liyue Harbor instead." She pointed to Aether, who quickly nodded in agreement. The rangers exchanged glances among themselves but after a moment, seemed to decide the two were trustworthy because they nodded and allowed the traveler to make use of his teleport waypoints in order to take them for medical attention.

"And here I thought Y/n could never turn away patients," one of the rangers commented, "They must be beyond swamped right now! I hope they're alright."

"We should let Master Tighnari know not to send anyone else their way when we get the chance." Another agreed.

"No!" Paimon exclaimed, surprising them both. She immediately stiffened and pulled herself together, "Paimon means...We'll tell Tighnari for you! So don't worry about it!" Again, after a moment of deliberation, the rangers nodded before disappearing with Aether. The little pixie sighed in relief. If they told Tighnari not to send anyone for your medical attention, he would either suspect something was up and go talk to you about it or get worried about you and also go talk to you about it. They couldn't have that; not until they were ready for you two to meet up later. 

"Paimon just hopes Y/n won't be upset we sent their patients to Baizhu," the girl said to herself, knowing the Liyue doctor was something of a rival to you. There was no animosity there; just a bit of friendly banter, but it was enough for you not to want Gandharva Ville's people going to him over you. 

When Aether returned from teleporting the injured rangers to the harbor, he held up a thumbs up for the pixie, who nodded in relief that it had worked. They'd likely have to do this many more times today, of course; forest rangers tended to get hurt very often. But at least this meant there were two more they wouldn't need to worry about, which was better than nothing. 

After all, if they wanted you two to have time for one another later, they needed to make sure both you and Tighnari had free work schedules for the day. 

..........

"Master Tighnari!" Collei called, knowing the fox-eared forest ranger wouldn't be busy at the moment, thanks to her and the others' plan. She found said ranger near his hut, where he appeared to be cooking yet another meal that would make way too many servings for someone living alone to eat. When the green haired girl arrived, he immediately looked up at her.

"Collei, is there something you need?" He asked, clearly feeling a little awkward about being caught doing something so unproductive by his own trainee. What he didn't know was that she'd planned it that way. 

"We're out of bandages and Padisarah's." Collei informed her mentor, "And we have a patient with a wound that could really use both over at the medical tent." It wasn't totally true; she had no idea if a patient at your tent required those things. But since both the bandages and the herb were resources they went through the quickest, it was a lie Tighnari would believe and take seriously, which he did. 

"I see," he replied, glancing at the food he was still cooking, "Let Y/n know I'll head out to pick some more up today, and not to worry." He knew you too well, and had this been a real situation, Collei knew you would have called him a life-saver like you always did. She smiled, nodding with relief.

"Okay!" She told him and then went to head for the medical tent, only to pause on the way, "Would you like me to come with you to help? I know we usually buy our supplies in bulk so it could be difficult getting everything back here without a sumpter beast." Tighnari paused for a moment, remembering that the last of the sumpter beasts had been taken out that morning for other tasks (something Collei and the others had had nothing to do with but appreciated anyway). 

"Yes, I suppose that would be a big help..." He decided finally, "Thank you, Collei. We'll head out in a few minutes, but please go let Y/n know first." She nodded before running off.

Tighnari had specifically given himself extra time not only because you needed to be informed if your daughter left Gandharva Ville but also so he could finish the food he'd been preparing to give you and her for lunch. Once it was finished, he took it from the cooking pot and wrapped it so it would stay fresh until he could give it to you, which would likely be later in the evening than he'd planned. 

Collei returned a few minutes later, having actually let you know she'd be leaving but not the real reason why. Then the two of them were on their way after Tighnari checked one more time that he had no other pressing work to get done. Of course, he didn't.

Their walk to Sumeru City was quick and uneventful, and soon enough, they were in the market shopping for bandages, Padisarah's, and another item Tighnari wasn't yet aware of. 

"Master Tighnari, look!" Collei exclaimed, pointing to a formal suit that was on display at one of the clothing shops. She'd seemed so excited about it that he had to come over but was surprised now to see what exactly she'd been pointing at. 

"A...Suit?"

"Isn't it beautiful?" She asked, aware of how strange she sounded, considering she'd never showed any interest in men's formal wear before. "It reminds me of this story my parent told me once." At this, the forest ranger's fox ears perked a bit.

"Oh?" He asked, silently urging her to continue.

"After their graduation from the Akademiya, they got invited to attend a party in Fontaine," Collei explained, "When they attended, their date wore a purple suit, but it clashed with the outfit they'd picked and made them look awful together." The story she was telling was real, though you hadn't been nearly as dramatic when you'd told it as she currently was. "They broke up after that, but they always say he should have worn green like this suit because it goes with all their clothes." 

With that, she turned and walked off as if she'd finally found the Padisarah's they'd been looking for. Planting the seed of an idea in Tighnari's head would hopefully be enough and she needed to be out of the way so he didn't feel any judgement when acting on it. 

She made sure to inspect the herbs for much longer than necessary before glancing back at her mentor, who happened to have an extra shopping bag in his arms now that hadn't been there before. The suit that had been on display was also gone now, making the green haired girl's smile widen. She bought the herbs they needed and then turned back to the head forest ranger, who looked at her expectantly. 

"Ready to head back to Gandharva Ville?" He asked, "Y/n would never be upset with us for taking too long but I wouldn't put it past them to badmouth me to their patients in order to make them feel better."

"They always say having a common enemy is a big part of bedside manner," Collei giggled, "They need someone to blame for the patient's prolonged pain." Tighnari chuckled at that, shaking his head as he lead the way back towards the village.

……….

Part 3

[jangofettjamz]

Confessions

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

Summary: Unexpected events bring you and Jenna a lot closer

Warnings: Abelism

Words: 4430

A/N: You are Emma myers' twin in this fic.

Y/N pov

It's been too long since I've seen Emma. I'm so proud of my twin sister, she's come so far with her career and now she's in a Tim Burton production, like WHAT?!

Emma's so talented and she deserves every amount of success and fortune the world has to give, she's earned that much.

She's currently filming in Romania for her new show "Wednesday", a spinoff show based on the famous addams family, and specifically the daughter of the family: "Wednesday Addams"; played by Jenna Ortega.

I was invited to come and visit her and the cast and crew on set, flight and accommodation paid for and all. Though I was hesitant, being this far away from home wasn't entirely appealing at first, but I couldn't squander the opportunity to see my sister.

However, that's not the only reason I wanted to go. As luck would have it, I've had a crush on Jenna Ortega for a long time and Emma knew this. She visited our home a few times when Emma and her were getting to know each other. Emma had to introduce me to her as she knows I'm not the best at conversation, especially when meeting new people.

We've talked a little everytime she visited, but I was always too shy to say anything other than a few meger words. I never really got to know her as a person.

She assures me she's the most kind and gentle person she's ever known, I would never doubt my sisters word but it still doesn't put me at ease. Social interaction has never been easy for me, no matter how nice or kind the person I'm talking to is.

My sister has been my number one supporter, and I hers. She's never outed my condition to anyone and assured me she'd never tell Jenna if I didn't want her to know, she's always got my back no matter what and I'm beyond thankful for that.

-

My driver that was assigned to me dropped me off at the sets parking area, not far from the cast's trailers.

"We've arrived sir, Mr Burton will be waiting by the trailers for you." Sir? Gosh that makes me feel so imperial, like an important executive or something, I dunno.

"I er-thank you" I say nervously, my socially awkward nature getting the better of me. I got out of the black SUV and walked to the trailer.

I felt like an outsider here, like I didn't belong so kept my hands in my sleeves and my head down.

There's camera crews here, some extras to fill the background, I even see some of them in cast, but decided not to interact with them. They didn't know me and would probably think I'm some random weirdo who shouldn't be here.

I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but people have been cruel to me in the past just for trying to talk to them. That's always been my main deterrent from social interaction; the fear of what people will think of me.

These negative thoughts were starting to send me spiralling so I blocked them out for now, making my way to the trailers. I can't wait to see Emma.

I'm at the trailer area and see a man with unkempt hair and tinted glasses leaning against a trailer door, is that... TIM BURTON?! I knew I was gonna meet him but it's kinda unreal when you meet an icon such as him in person.

A smile formed on his face and he made his way towards me, my eyes avert his figure as my nerves began to set in. "Hello Y/N, it's good to finally meet you, your sister holds you in such high esteem." He says offering me a hand to shake.

Emma's been talking about me? To Tim Burton? Good things I hope. "I-I It's nice to meet you to Mr Burton, it's an honor to be here." I say nervously, shaking his hand and meeting his gaze with a nervous smile.

He chuckles "Please just Tim, no need for formalities. You're among friends here, Y/N."

I didn't understand, what did he mean I was among friends? He's just met me and he's nicer than most people have been to me throughout my entire life.

Though puzzling this maybe, I couldn't help but smile at being accepted for once among a group. It felt liberating.

"C'mon let's go meet the cast, I know two that have been dying to meet you." Two? I know Emma is one, but two? Who could possibly want to see me.

I followed to a trailer not far from where we met. I see a coat hanging from the railing of the trailer's steps, that's Emma's coat.

Tim gives me a warm smile and says "She's waiting for you kiddo, she'll be very happy to see you again." I nod and smiled back. I reach for the door know and open the door to the trailer, I see a girl with blonde hair and coloured highlights, is that...

"Emma?" She turns to face me. A smile forms on her face, an smile I would recognise anywhere.

"Y/N/N!!!!" She rushes towards me and tackles me to the ground in a hug, making yelp in the process. Usually this sort of surprising affection would make me nervous, but it was my sister so I all it. Besides I missed her dearly.

I reciprocated the hug, though it was difficult seeing as I was on the ground. "Hi sis', you missed me that much?" I ask playfully while standing back to my feet.

"Like you wouldn't believe, I miss all of you. How have you been?" She asks me, she knows about my struggles and I'm glad she still cares.

"Umm... things have been okay. Socialising is still really difficult, I almost didn't come here because of the distance. You know how much I hate being away from home" she gives a smile of sympathy and rubs my shoulder to comfort.

"But you still did it and I'm so proud of you for taking that step. You're still with family here in Romania, Jenna is excited to see you too, she's so lovely Y/N, you should get to know her" talk to Jenna Ortega? My stomach turns from nervousness.

The door to the trailer suddenly opens, a small Latin girl appears sporting black pigtails and black blazer. Jenna Ortega.

It's not surprising that she's here, she's playing the main character of the show after all. However, it's still messing with my mind that I'm standing in front of MY crush. I didn't know if I was just lucky, or if the universe just wanted me to humiliate myself in front of my crush.

I was quickly pulled out of my thoughts when she turned to me after she stopped talking to Emma. My twin did me a solid and introduced her to me so I didn't have to talk, she knows I don't have great speaking abilities when I meet new people.

She started her introduction "Jenna, you remember Y/N right? My other half." She says which makes Jenna laugh.

"Hi Y/N, it's so nice to see you again. Emma talks about you all the time" Of course she does. I shyly wave at her, averting eye contact away from her, my nerves completely taking over.

She stepped closer to me "Hey, are you okay?" She says sweetly, Emma's right she is really nice. I nod my head to reassure that I'm okay, even though I'm most definitely not and Emma knew this.

The trailer door opened again revealing a tall, dirty blonde guy with long hair. I had never seen him before, he didn't look very nice.

"Hey Jenna, Emma" he says happily, then his eyes fall to me. "Who's this?" He says, his voiced indicating his clear annoyance by my presence.

"Hey percy, this is my twin brother, Y/N" I shyly wave at him, he scoffs and moves swiftly to talk to Jenna. What a dick.

Emma's phone rings "Ah shit, guys I have a scene to do. Please look after him and get to know each other, love you Y/N" she says kissing me on the cheek. Great, now I'm left with two people I don't know, one being my crush, the other, a massive dickhead. Great.

I sit down on the couch behind me, Jenna taking a seat next to me much to percy's dismay. I start playing with my hands, something I do when I'm very nervous. Jenna picked up on this so she decided to ask me a question to ease the tension.

"So Y/N, do you have any interests or hobbies?" She's says to me with a smile, that same sweet tone still consistent.

I started "I-I like movies, I'm a massive horror fan. I build legos, play video games as a hobbie, and do programming as a side job. I find the arithmetic nature of programming to be quite fascinating, keeps my brain constantly at work." I say quietly.

She started to speak again "Programming? Wow you must be quite intelligent to do that" I shrug, my lack of confidence really shining through.

Percy scoffs "Jeez do you just sit there looking depressed all the time." I gave him a pleading look, I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

"N-no I didn't mean t-to--" I cut myself off, not wanting to embarrass myself anymore than I just did. I don't even know what I did wrong, just goes to show my complete lack of social awareness.

But something unexpected happened "Percy, why are you being such an asshole. He's just shy and that's fine. He didn't do anything wrong." She actually came to my aid and defended me.

"I heard he was autistic, Jenna. I overheard Emma talking to him on the phone one time. He's a freak." The moment I heard the word freak my eyes started to tear up, sniffles followed afterwards.

I started to hastily rock myself as a grounding technique, a shaky breath came from my mouth trying to contain the tears within.

Jenna was standing there with a her phone out recording the whole thing, I thought she was doing this to laugh at with percy later, however what happened next changed that theory.

Jenna slapped the smirk off his face, he was on the ground and fear replaced his shit-eating grin. I could see the fear flashing in his eyes as Jenna loomed over him, a fiery anger in her brown orbs.

She raised her right hand and pointed at him while speaking "Don't you ever say that again you abelist dick. Even if he is autistic, I would never think that as a bad thing. Get out Percy, once I show this recording to Tim, you are done" she says calmly, yet angrily simultaneously.

He didn't need to be told twice as he stumbled out the door; fear still emanated from his person after the bitch slap he received.

Jenna POV

What an asshole, like seriously how the fuck could anyone be so shallow to immediately hate someone because they're different. Fuck that guy honestly, the moment we're done filming I'm cutting contact with him completely.

Y/N looked destroyed, I'd seen him a handful of times and this is the longest interaction we've had, but it was heartbreaking nonetheless. I wanted to comfort him since Emma was busy filming. I sat down next to him and started to talk.

"Y/N it's okay now, he's gone and if he knows what good for him, he won't come back." He nodded, seemingly no change was made to his demeanour. I decided a more physical approach was necessary.

"Y/N can I touch you?" He hesitated for a moment but eventually nodded. I touched his shoulder, my thumb rubbing in circles. "Are you autistic, Y/N? It's okay you can tell me, I know you don't know me but I promise I would never judge you, never ever."

I hope he knows my words are genuine, perhaps even comforting. He gives me with one more glance before signing under his breath then nodding, confirming what percy had told me. He shouldn't have outed Y/N like that, it's his right to tell me when or if he even wanted to in the first place.

"You're so brave, you know that?" He looked at me confused. I continued speaking "You're braver than you know sweetheart, I'm so sorry that we had to meet again under these circumstances but I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. I can only imagine how hard it must've been to come here so far away from home, only to be ridiculed by some asshole who doesn't know his head from his own ass." He laughs, making me smile knowing I'm doing something right.

I make a solemn vow to him "I swear to you, that recording I took will be shown to Tim and the producers, he will be dealt with accordingly. I promise you." Percy will not go unpunished for this.

"We've only met a couple times, but you're bravest and sweetest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I can tell that everything you're sister told me about you is true." I wipe his tears from his face with my thumb, his eyes still glassy and red from the crying.

"Why are you so nice to me? You don't even know me." He says barely above a whisper.

"Because unlike Percy, I accept you for who you are and I'll help you whenever you need me. I'm with you now Y/N and I'm not going anywhere." His lips begin to quiver, indicating that he's about to cry again.

"Would you like a hug?" I ask, unsure if that amount of physical touch is something he would want. He nods and I open my arms for him "c'mere honey" he fell into my arms, head on my shoulder as his tears shower my Wednesday outfit, but I couldn't care less.

His arms wrapped tight around me, my arms securely around him. I began to rock him gently to comfort him, my hand carding through his hair. "Shhhh, you're safe now honey, it's just me and you, nobody else. I'm so sorry for what happened but I promise you that everything's gonna be okay, I'm not leaving you."

I feel something for this boy, and I know he feels something for me, Emma may or may not have told me about the crush he has on me. I didn't make him feel embarrassed, now's not the time.

"I-I shouldn't have come h-here, e-everyone hates me!" My heart broke hearing those words. Percy had destroyed his self-esteem with his heartless words, his confidence had vanished into the aether.

I held him tighter against me, wanted him to feel all the affection I can give to counter his negative thoughts. "Nobody hates you Y/N, I certainly don't and neither do your sisters and parents". Percy's words were awful and further projects his insecurities."

"He's right though, I'm am a freak. Emma's normal, my other sisters are normal, my parents too. I can't socialise properly, can't read social cues, I'm only good at messing things up! I'm useless!" He was shaking violently, a barrage of new tears came streaming down his cheeks, Percy was going to pay for what he's done.

I lift his face from my shoulder, holding his cheeks in both my hands. "You are not useless! You're anything but useless! You're incredible Y/N, just like your sister and I've got your back just like I've got hers. Percy is done after today, mark my words."

He smiles at my words, convinced by them even. "You wanna know something?" He looks at me with intrigue. "I've admired you since the day we met, you're so beautiful, sweet and kind. You're not useless at all, you're perfect, just the way you are."

"Everytime your sister talks about you I listen to her in awe of you, you're an amazing person sweetheart, don't ever let someone make you think otherwise." I say with sincerity.

He looked shocked. "You're just saying that." He says not believing me.

"Can I prove it?" I ask a little nervously. He nods and I ask him another question. "Can I kiss you?" A bold move by me but he needed to know just how serious I am.

His cheeks turn a bright pink, very much akin to a rose. He nods and I lean in the kiss his lips softly, a gentle kiss to show him my intention are indeed pure. "I like you alot Y/N, and I'd love to be a part of your life from now on, If you'll have me."

He smiled, genuine and real "I like you too, Jenna. I'd love to have you in my life." I take him back in my arms, in the position we were previously in, rocking him gently in my arms. His eyes began to droop a little, he looked exhausted from all the crying.

"You can fall asleep if you want, just relax darling, everything's gonna be okay now." We sat on the couch, his head on my chest, my arms locked around his figure. "There there, you're okay darling" I cooed softly.

His eyes shut, nothing was heard expect the soft breaths coming from his nose. I kissed his temple and let him sleep until Emma returned from filming, she need to know the truth.

- 2 hours later

I've been catching up on breaking bad while Y/N has been sleeping peacefully on my chest, really good show this is. My hand has been absentmindedly carding through his hair.

God he looks so adorable, I never want to let go of him. I'm honored that he trusts me enough to be apart of his life, to be his girlfriend, an honor I certainly don't take for granted.

The door to the trailer opens, Emma walking through the entrance. She was shocked to see the position me and Y/N laid in, though this was expected as she didn't know what had transpired a couple hours ago.

"We need to talk" I say, she looked at confused but nodded. I began to get up as gently as possible to not wake up Y/N, though it was more tricky than anticipated. He groaned sleepily, not completely aware of his surroundings.

I put him at ease, "it's okay honey, I'll be back don't worry" his body eased at the words and untensed around me, allowing me to lift his head off my chest without waking him. Emma and I walked out of the trailer and gently shut the door behind us, it was time she learned the truth.

"What happened in there?" She asked with concern.

"Watch this video" I show her the recording on my phone, the horror she felt was palpable, her own brother being reduced to tears; by her own co-star no less. "I'm so sorry, Emma" was all I could say.

She turned to me and embraces me in a hug which I returned immediately. "Thank you for helping him, he won't ever forget what you did for him" her voice wobbly, she was crying. "I should've been there to stop him! He's gonna pay for this!" She storms off, presumably to find percy.

I chase after her, jesus she's fast "Emma wait!" I called out but she didn't falter in her movements, she was on a mission to find the asshole who hurt her brother.

After about 5 minutes of searching we found Percy talking with Tim as if he did nothing 2 hours prior, we stormed towards him. Percy's noticed us walking towards him, fear replaced his expression, Tim however was more confused by our angered demeanour.

"YOU ASSHOLE! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO HIM, HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!" Emma exclaimed, tears falling fast down her face. "HE'S THE SWEETEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND YOU DESTROYED HIM! WHAT FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! She sobs out, I rubbed her back in comfort.

Tim looked even more confused now "What's going on, Percy what is she talking about?" He says raising an eyebrow, demanding to know what happened.

I answer for him, leaving no chance for Percy to alter the truth in any way. "Watch this video, Tim." He watched the video of what went, disgust was etched onto his face, all the while I was staring down the asshole who caused this mess. The look on his face is priceless, as though his career had flashed before his eyes.

Tim finished the video and turned to percy, inhaling before he spoke. "Percy once you're scenes are finished, you're done, fired. You have no future here." He says coldly, disappointment lacing his rough tone. "You will be paid for your work, but we will cease all contact after that."

Percy was distraught, he begged and pleaded for Tim to reconsider "Please Tim, I'm sorry I really am! It's was just a joke!" Emma was disgusted with him, so was I.

Emma was face to face with percy, she may have been shorter, but her anger made her far more imposing. "I'm not a violent person percy, but if you EVER say or even look at my brother in a way I find offensive ever again, you will be dealing with a far different side of me." He gulped and nodded, knowing better than to test her.

She continued "For your sake, I will not leak those videos, but so help me god I will not hesitate to ruin your life if you step out of line again." And with that she walks off to see her brother.

I walk up to Percy and warn him one final time "Be thankful you're only losing a Job opportunity Percy. Make no mistake, if you make any attempt to contact me, Emma, or dear Y/N, I will leak those videos to everyone and destroy your life within seconds. Do you understand me?" He nodded and I walk away with the knowledge that Percy Hynes White is a coward.

I return to the trailer to find Emma and Y/N talking about what went down with him and Percy "No matter what Y/N, I'll always protect you from people like him, and so will Jenna" he looks over to me and I offer a gentle, reassuring smile and sit down next to him. I kiss his cheek and pulled his head onto my chest and pressed play on the TV.

"So what did I miss with you two?" Emma asks playfully and we both laughed uncontrollably, forgetting the last few hours for a while with laughter and love.

- 9 months later

Wednesday was a massive hit with critics and viewers, my career has skyrocketed to heights I never thought imaginable. Though, I never let that inflate my ego and become someone who I depised, you know who I'm referring to.

Percy was promptly fired after he finished all of his scenes, nor was he allowed to attend any of the press events to promote the show. He hasn't tried to contact me or any of my friends, the first smart decision he's made.

Y/N and I are still going strong, though I wouldn't have doubted that for a second. Like I said to him all those months ago, he's perfect just the way he is.

Socialising is still a struggle for him, so is communicating with me sometimes. However, I vowed to help him and understand his condition, to guide him in a world that misunderstood him.

He's laying on my chest, me stroking his hair. He's asleep after coming with me to a press junket to promote the show. Even if he's behind the cameras, his support is so appreciated.

Emma has been so supportive of our relationship, which is great because I would've hated things to be awkward between, and potentially ruin Y/N's relationship with her.

Fans of mine have began to notice Y/N after his appearance at the premiere, the Internet practically exploded when they saw us hand in hand. Y/N isn't fond of the attention but loves the nice comments people have left, any boost to his self esteem he cherishes.

Suddenly the phone rang, it was Tim Burton, probably discussing plans for season 2. I picked up the phone, being careful not to wake Y/N.

"Hello Jenna, is Y/N with you?" He says. What could he want with Y/N?

"Yeah I'll get him" I gently shake him to wake him up. He groaned as I shook "Babe wake up someone's on the phone for you" he rose from my chest and groggily took the phone from my hand.

"Hello, Y/N speaking" he says lowly.

He talks with tim, his groggy expression is replaced with shock, a stark contrast from earlier.

"Yes ill talk with her about it" talk with me about what? What is Tim planning?

"Thank you I'll see you soon" he hung up and turned to me, a smile etched onto his face like he just won the lottery.

"What?" I say laughing

He opened his mouth, only to stutter when trying to form words. He eventually got his words out "He wants me to replace Percy as Xavier" I scream out of excitement and he quickly covered his ears.

"You're gonna do great, I'll be right there with you" his smile is replaced with worry.

"What if they don't like me as Xavier? What if my acting is bad? I have no acting experience, Jenna. What am I gonna do?" He starts to ramble a bit so I kissed him, calming his nerves within an instant.

He drew back for air and reassured him "You're gonna be great babe, way better than Percy, I guarantee that." I pulled him back to a kiss.

The kiss turned more passionate, only pulling back for pockets of air. "You're so beautiful baby, my beautiful boy" he blushes intensly at my praise. "I love you Y/N, so so much" I say breathlessly. He picks me up while kissing me, leading me to the bedroom. I would love to describe how the rest of our day was spent...

But some things are best kept secret... if you know what I mean. ; )

[solradguy]

tbh everything you said about Unika I agree with, but funny enough it's how many people felt about Sin for the longest time. We're all aware GG's storytelling is some of the most scattered I've ever seen a piece of media, no one can access Vastege, or is willing to find a copy of Judgement, or hunt down and translate so many japanese exclusive drama CD's, side stories, and interviews. And many people never played Overture, and even if you did, this angsty new dude comes out of NOWHERE. I'll always be bitter at Daisuke for off-screening Ky and Dizzy's romance, and all the initial family drama over Sin's birth. We are force fed the meat of this sudden "super important" characters interpersonal drama, then it's slowly resolved in Xrd, all without us seeing how it STARTED, and it pisses me off to no end. This is the full-blooded son of some of the two most important characters in all the lore. Even his goddamn relationship to Sol comes prepackaged instead of earned, when Overture could've EASILY had flashback levels devouted to telling the story of Sin's entire childhood in short but effective fragments. The excuse of legal troubles with Sega at the time only goes so far, especially because they never bother revisiting it when Arc DOES buy back their characters. Sin has since grown a lot in player's perceptions since those days, and I'm personally super fond of him now compared to how ticked he used to make me feel, but even now I find myself thinking of all the ways he should've been better. Ultimately the point I'm trying to get to is that it feels like Arc Sys never learned ANYTHING from Sin's sloppy and forced inclusion to the story, and that they're repeating everything again with Unika, only this time there's no legal barriers and no excuses. Which makes me so sad, because if they handeled it right, this could've been the most hype I've felt for a new character in ages, instead of just confused and annoyed 😮‍💨

Oh yeah I totally understand where GG lore people like Ed Chang and the others in the Gear Project group in the early 2000s were coming from when they talked about how Overture sucked because of what it did for Dizzy and Ky, and how Sin came out of nowhere. If I had been into GG's lore back then I probably would've been mad about it too. Idk if I'd've left GG like the Gear Project group mostly did after Overture, but it definitely would've taken some fun out of it, I think. It was definitely compounded back then by the lack of access to official side media too. Western fans didn't even have the short stories from the Material Collection when Overture released.

Like you said, it sucks so much more this time around because we can't even blame it on things like the Sammy-Sega merger holding 90% of the legacy cast hostage, or rushed development, or anything like that. It's just Overture back in 2008 again but worse, and I'm bummed about it too!! Like leading up to this point I was so optimistic about Dual Rulers haha!! It looked like it was gonna be great! The animation is gorgeous, they got the guy from the novels writing it, the cast and team seemed excited about it... Idk... I don't know how they proofread the script and decided having Unika be a significantly less interesting Sin was going to be exciting for anyone. We didn't even get 8 tie-in short stories this time...

I wanna be hopeful that the remaining 3 episodes will maybe make things better but I think it's cope at this point lol

On a brighter note, we've got basically all the scripts from every GG on the wiki now (Judgment is there!): https://guiltygear.wiki.gg/wiki/Category:Scripts

And fan translations for just about everything else: https://solradguy.neocities.org/ggmasterpost

We're missing Vastedge in English, and the two light novels, but Lightning the Argent (novel) is almost fully fan translated into English and we've got pretty detailed summaries of Vastedge in English too. The Butterfly & Her Gale (novel) is kind of left out in the cold... Idk what the status is like on that one's translation

Dual Rulers might ultimately end up being kind of disappointing lore-wise, but overall the state of GG lore accessibility has never been better, even if a detailed guide is still required trying to figure out what order to go through it all in lmfao

[sunflower-chai]

its actually crazy and evil that one of the first things Anakin said in The Phantom Menace was "I'm a person, my name is Anakin." because the prequels are kind of a defense of Vader's personhood; theyre there to develop worldbuilding and show us the politics that led to the Empire taking over + the system that facilitated this kind of damage, but they also force us to recognise that Vader was once a young man who was trying to change something, who fell in love and got manipulated and betrayed people but still didnt stop loving them. and these things were only ever there as concepts towards the end of the original trilogy, bc we've gotten to see him as Darth Vader, the figure. and when they reintroduce him to us as a little boy he's already having to tell us that he's a person, not a slave or a figure or a chosen one, and his name is Anakin

ANIKA YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME 😭😭😭

he's so adamant that he's a person even though he's spent his entire life up to this point in slavery where he is treated as property and even after he's freed he's seen as "the chosen one" before being a person and then he's forced to fight in a war orchestrated by the man who basically enslaves him again as darth vader and he literally loses all of his limbs and can't breathe on his own and is as far removed from human as you can get and "anakin is gone. i am what remains" and "that name no longer has any meaning for me" but in the end there is still the person of anakin skywalker buried deep down no matter how much he insists that he has killed him and it takes the love and steadfast belief from his son to finally unearth his true self and he returns to the light, taking hold of his personhood with both fists and destroying the man who did nothing but take that from him only to die immediately after... he is so tragic he is the character ever i need to lie down