#so explaining myself away will solve nothing

[ask-terraria-bosses]

we're working on them we swear.

[csuitebitches]

How to Wake Up Early

I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.

Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.

I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.

Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.

That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.

Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.

So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.

I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.

1. Reset your space the night before

This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.

Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.

2. Early dinner

I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.

3. No devices before sleeping

I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.

4. Using Alarmy app

This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.

5. Keep your phone across the room

Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.

6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm

Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.

I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.

Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.

7. Turn a small light on

Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.

8. Be consistent, even on weekends

The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.

What do I do if I have a late night?

It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.

If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.

[dreamchasernina]

The live action writers hate Aang

I have given myself a lot of time to think about the live action, and reached the conclusion that the writers hate Aang. I dare you to read read this and tell me I'm wrong.

Let me start this by asking you a question? What's the most badass scene Aang has in the first season of the OG show? No matter what you answer is, I know for sure, that scene doesn't exist in the live action. Aang does absolutely nothing to prove the audience he is the right person to be the Avatar, he learns absolutely nothing throughout the show, he doesn't need to look into himself and change his way of thinking. Nothing. Most of the fundamental lessons Aang learns throughout the first season are gone.

The first mistake Aang does in the OG is staying at Kyoshi island too long, letting the attention go to his head, getting too comfortable. He realises he brought destruction to the island and tries to fix his mistakes by jumping onto the Unagi to help the village. That's how he learned the responsibly he holds as the Avatar and finds a unique way to help the village. Well that doesn't exist in the LA. Instead, Kyoshi takes over Aang's body to fight the whole fire nation for him. Aang, himself, does literally nothing.

The spirit world. In the OG show Aang is forced to face his Avatar duty for the first time by trying to save the village that's beeing attacked by Hei Bai. This is his first test as the Avatar and he fails. Not only that, he loses his friend. So Aang has to figure out himself how to get Sokka back from Hei Bai. He figures out who her bai is, himself, understands why Hei Bai is angry and gives him hope, the way Katara gave him hope. So we see that even though Aang failed at first, he kept trying and was smart and compassionate enough to realise what the problem is and solve it. This does not exist in the LA. Aang sees Hei bai in the spirit world, within a second realises who he is and just gives him the Acorn, without having to face him at all!

Another reason I'm convinced the writers hate Aang is the way all the avatars + Bumi treat Aang. Everyone is mad at him for disappearing for 100 years. And look, I get that, you can be mad at him if he ran away from his duties...but he never did! He went to clear his head on Appa and got caught in the storm. And if he hadn't run away he'd be dead, so why are you all so mad at him?! Bumi being mad at Aang could make sense, because in the OG show Aang did spend a significant amount on time of goofing around before he finds out about the comet. But here, it makes no sense! Bumi is mad for no reason. As soon as Aang got out go the ice he took his duty seriously, so please, make it make sense! And the show just glosses over the fact that if Aang hadn't run away he would be dead with the rest of the air benders. Instead of letting Aang feel guilty himself, which he does in the OG show, they just get these characters to hate on him, because they're incapable of making their characters have any emotional depth.

Aang doesn't learn water bending. At all. And there is no logical reason for that. I guess they thought it wasn't that important but please explain to me how you want to make Aang more serious and focused on the Avatar duties but not make him learn water bending? The literal next step Aang has to take to becoming the Avatar?? That is the only clear goal Aang has from the second episode of the show - to find a master and learn waterbending! Make it make sense!

Taking away Aang's talk with Koh. So I assume if most people didn't answer my question above with the Koi fish, they probably said Aang's journey into the spirit world and his meeting with Koh. In the OG show, Aang has to find a way to figure out how to save the water tribe. He does so by going into the spirit world and talking to Koh the face stealer. So Aang had to talk to Koh showing zero emotions so he doesn't have his face stolen. That scene is so creepy and so badass and shows that Aang is really capable, even though he is a kid, he is facing the creepy ass spirit and is doing an excellent job. So when Aang finds out who the moon and the ocean spirits are, it feels deserved, it feels like an accomplishment. In the live action he doesn't have to show zero emotions because Koh is not stealing faces, he's just stealing random people for whatever reason. Koh tells him exactly what to do, bring me a MacGuffin so I can release your friends, Aang just goes to see Roku, no problem, no obstacles to overcome, brings the Macguffin to Koh and he just releases his friends. Wow, really shows us how resourceful Aang is by making him...get an object and give it back to Koh...

And the very last point that I absolutely hated in the show. When Aang goes into the Avatar state and becomes the giant koi fish and wipes everyone out, the live action show goes out of its way to emphasise that that is not Aang in there. Aang is gone. The Koi fish is just rage. and that's that. Taking away ANY agency Aang ever had. Look, I know in the OG show Aang is not in control of the Avatar state either, but we know that's still Aang in there, that's his power he's showcasing. He might not be in control but that's him doing it all, being all powerful. But in the live action, they tell us Aang is gone, that's just his body the spirit is using. Plus Aang does no watebending himself, no gestures like the original where you can see aang in the sphere water bending, controlling the giant Koi fish, showing us how far he's come as a water bender. But in the LA he's just in the sphere...doing nothing because he never learned water bending so of course that's not him doing all this cool shit.

I am so angry over all of this. This is you MAIN PROTAGONIST. and you made him nothing but a vessel to progress the plot. You gave him no character, no growth, no struggles, no power! So no, you cannot convince me, at this point, that the writers of the live action don't hate Aang. Probably as much as they hate Katara.

[kalixora]

Tfp Bumblebee x reader

Summary:

A skilled autobot sniper, frustrated by their lack of hand-to-hand combat abilities and hidden feelings for Bumblebee, trains intensely to prove themselves, while the team offers support, unaware of the sniper's inner conflict.

1/2

Once again, Bumblebee saved you from cons. You grumbled walking back to base, feeling a mix of frustration and gratitude. You weren’t the weakest but definitely not the strongest, not like the wreckers with their brute strength or quick like Arcee with her agility.

You were a sniper, skilled at taking down enemies from a distance. Your strength lay in your ability to blend into the shadows, moving silently and striking precisely.

However, in hand-to-hand combat, you often found yourself at a disadvantage, unlike Bumblebee, who excelled in it.

“You okay, N/N?” Raf asked you with a smile.

“I need to train,” you answered back with a low groan.

“He saved you again, didn’t he?” Raf snickered, closing his laptop.

“I don’t wanna hear it—“

Raf laughed, “N/N! It’s okay! You’re a stealth scout, not a brawler. You play to your strengths.”

You sighed, leaning against the wall. “I know, I just need to be able to handle myself in a fight alone.”

Raf nodded thoughtfully. “You know, maybe you could ask Bulkhead for some training. He’s tough and knows his way around a fight.”

“You rolled your optics. “I’m not asking that jumbo bot for nothing. I’d rather suffer.”

“You’re suffering now,” Raf remarked gently. “Why does it bother you so much that Bumblebee helps you? You guys are on the same team after all.”

You looked away, frustration and embarrassment heating your face plate as you stormed off to the training room. In your hurry, you accidentally bumped into Ratchet, causing him to drop his toolbox with a clatter.

“Y/N! I needed that!” he shouted after you.

“I need to train!” you shouted back, your voice echoing down the corridor as you continued on your way.

“Geez, what’s her damage?” Ratchet muttered to himself, shaking his head in confusion as he picked up his things.

“Bumblebee saved her and asked for a bridge back, and she’s upset,” Raf explained with concern in his voice.

“She’s one of the best weapon specialists in the making. What does Bumblebee have on her?”

“Hand-to-hand combat,” Raf replied softly, recalling the many times you’d voiced your frustration over it. Ratchet raised his optical ridge and let out a gruff chuckle. “Seriously? That’s it?”

Raf sighed, sensing the weight of your struggle. “I’m starting to feel a little bad, Ratchet—“

“There’s no need, Rafael,” Ratchet interrupted. “Y/N’s feelings for Bumblebee are the only reason she feels she needs to be better.”

“Wait—Y/N has feelings for Bee?” Raf repeated, surprised.

“Always, it was plainly obvious,” Ratchet shrugged, moving towards his work station. “She’s too stubborn to admit it, so it’s not my problem to solve.”

Raf hesitated, considering the revelation. “Maybe I can help…”

“Good luck with that. Just leave me out of it,” Ratchet waved Raf off, already engrossed in his work.

Meanwhile, in the training room, you continued to focus on your drills, unaware of the discussion unfolding outside.

As Raf pondered how to approach the situation, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of responsibility towards helping you navigate your feelings. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he was determined to find a way to support you, even if Ratchet preferred to stay out of it.

The ground bridge opened, and the other Autobots came in, all of them seeming cheerful and in good spirits.

“Oh man—and the way I took down that con was awesome! I wish Miko was there; she would’ve loved it,” Bulkhead exclaimed.

“Jack would’ve been screaming his poor lungs out if he saw that,” Arcee chuckled. “But I really gotta hand it to you, Smokescreen. You’ve improved a lot out there. I’m impressed.”

Smokescreen rubbed the back of his helm. “Ah, well, what can I say? I was made a natural talent. Kinda like you, Bee.”

Bumblebee whirled with excitement, exchanging high-fives with the others before heading over to Raf.

“Hey Raf! Where’s Y/N? I gotta show her something I found before she left,” Bumblebee beeped and whirred in his unique language.

Raf nodded and pointed to the corridor. “She’s in the training room, oh and Bee, she’s a little upset right now, so be a little easy on her.”

Bumblebee nodded, concern flashing in his optics. He headed towards the training room at a light jog. Entering the room, he saw you in the middle of your drills. “Y/N,” Bumblebee beeped softly, trying to catch your attention without startling you. “I found something cool I wanted to show you.”

You paused mid-strike, turning to see Bumblebee standing there, his optics shining with genuine excitement. The frustration you felt earlier mingled with a sense of warmth at seeing him.

“What is it, Bee?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

Bumblebee held out a small, intricate piece of Cybertronian tech, something rare and valuable. “I thought you might like this. Optimus said it’s a tool used by the old weapon specialists back on Cybertron. I found it in the wreckage during the mission before you left.”

Your optics widened in surprise and curiosity as you took the item from Bumblebee’s outstretched servo. “I haven’t seen this before, Bee. Thank you.”

Bumblebee smiled, glad to see a spark of happiness in your optics. “Why are you training? Aren’t you tired?”

You looked down at the tool, trying to hide the mix of emotions swirling within you. “I just… I need to get better. For myself.”

Bumblebee tilted his helm, a concerned whir escaping him. “But why?”

You hesitated, your face plate becoming warm, you turned your helm away. “I just have a lot to prove, so you don’t have to keep risking your neck to save me all the time.”

Bumblebee placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “I’m always here to help.”

You nodded, feeling a bit lighter. “Thanks, Bee. That means a lot coming from you, but— I need to work harder.”

You nudged Bee’s shoulder away then gave him a meek smile before walking out.

Bee stood in the room slightly lost, “Was it something I said?” He beeped.

. . .

A few days later, the others hardly saw you. The only times they did was when you were going into recharge or going on missions with Optimus after much begging that they obviously didn’t know.

You stood in the middle of a field waiting for Optimus to ground bridge to you so you could continue your training with him.

“What’s taking so long—“

The ground bridge opened out came not Optimus but Bumblebee and the others.

You froze in place as you saw Smokescreen waving at you with a smug expression.

“Scrap,” you muttered as you crossed your arms.

“Sorry to crash your date N/N, Optimus wanted us to tell you that he got stuck doing something with Agent Frowler.”

“Rude, how dare you ruin our alone time,” you rolled your optics with a smirk on your face plate.

“So you gonna tell us why you’ve been with Optimus so much or do we have to guess?” Arcee asked walking up closer to you.

“Nothing really, just extra training and learning how to use this tech Bumblebee gave me,” you answered truthfully, showing Arcee your sniper with the added tech while switching your servo.

“Ooh, Knockout was going crazy for that thing. I’m shocked you managed to grab it, Bee,” Bulkhead chuckled. “Nice! We are freakin’ awesome.”

Smokescreen and Bulkhead high-fived each other while Bumblebee laughed, and Arcee smiled, placing her hand on her hip.

You turned around and walked further into the field, a scowl on your faceplate. The further you went into the field you saw a small rock poking out off to the side. You walked closer to it unsure of what it what, still hearing the laughter and banter behind you didn’t bother to turn around.

Hearing footsteps behind you, you looked over your shoulder pad seeing Bumblebee. He gave you a small friendly wave before beeping, “What’s that?”

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom

It is in the Details

He had always been meticulous, even as a child. It was his brother who taught him to observe and to keep an eye out for tiny details. 

“The more subtle, the more elegant people will find you. Whether it is your attire or your movements. That way, they will not question your ulterior motives,” Mycroft told him.

Sherlock considered this, and when Mycroft bought him the Belstaff and had added the red buttonhole, he understood. It added an eye-catching sophistication to the garment. The fact that it was one of a kind, made it even more special.

Before he attended his first official crime scene, Sherlock Holmes, the world’s only consulting detective, used a fair amount of his inheritance on expensive hair products, had a bespoke cologne made, purchased Italian leather shoes, and spent an agonising hour at one of Savile Row’s tailors to have his measurements taken.

“Only blue and black suits. A dozen white shirts. Two of the aubergine ones over there. Two of that shade of blue. No ties.”

The tailor didn’t even bat an eyelid when Sherlock made his order and insisted that everything should be tightly fitted.

“I need to breathe, but that’s about it.”

“Of course,” the tailor replied.

***

“Who are you, and what have you done with that high as a kite kid who turned up and solved a crime for me last year?” Greg Lestrade asked when Sherlock strode towards him.

“Gone. I’m clean as of last month. Just what you commanded, detective inspector,” Sherlock drawled. “Now, where are the bodies?”

Sally Donovan and Philip Anderson weren’t as easily dazzled by his newly invented persona, but Sherlock saw them as irrelevant, so he didn't care about being offended by their snarky comments.

***

“Just look at you,” Mrs Hudson cooed when Sherlock knocked on her door.

Her favourite colour is still purple. Recently been to the hairdresser. Didn’t get that cat after all.

“Hello, Mrs Hudson. Lovely to see you again. Are you still renting out the upstairs flat?”

“I take it you are interested,” the elderly woman said and winked. “Don’t you think it’s a bit big for just you. A flatmate would be nice. What do you say?”

“Who would tolerate living with me?” Sherlock answered with a grimace.

“Oh, come now, Sherlock. Deep down you’re as fluffy as a plushie,” she stated.

Sherlock rolled his eyes and went upstairs to take a proper look at 221B.

It was cluttered, but the atmosphere was cosy, even though it hadn’t been inhabited for several months. 

It feels like a proper home, but do I want to share it with another man? I’ve never lived with other people than my family before. None of my peers tolerated me for more than a few minutes at a time. I find it hard to believe that somewhere out in the London streets, a man walks around willing to share this flat with a pompous and infuriating git as myself. It would be nothing short of a miracle if that was the case.

***

“Sherlock, meet an old friend of mine, John Watson,” Mike called out when he walked into the lab.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes at the fair-haired man. To Sherlock’s astonishment this John Watson offered to let him borrow his phone when Sherlock asked Mike for his, even though he knew it was safely tucked into his coat pocket.

“Afghanistan or Iraq?”

The awe in the man’s eyes, made Sherlock look away quickly to hide his own confusion. No one had ever gazed at him like that.

“Who said anything about a flatmate?” John asked when he’d gathered himself after Sherlock’s rapid deductions about his career, family, and wound.

“Mike did,” Sherlock explained and put on his coat and scarf with deliberate movements.

Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at my hands and neck, John Watson.

***

“Will you be needing the upstairs bedroom?” Mrs Hudson asked when she followed him and John into 221B the next day.

John blushed but didn’t answer, which was quite promising.

“We’ll let you know,” Sherlock mumbled.

“We have all sort around here,” she assured them before she went down to her own flat.

John placed his cane by the red chair and wandered around to look at all the eccentricities the flat had to offer. The more he walked around, the less he limped, much to Sherlock’s satisfaction.

“Yes, I think this will do just fine,” John said and made himself comfortable in the upholstery chair.

***

“How did you get glitter in your hair?” John asked two days before Christmas later that year.

“I went to Liberty’s to buy some decorations for our tree,” Sherlock said.

“What happened to the Grinch I moved in with in February?”

“He fell in love with an ex-army doctor with a psychosomatic limp,” Sherlock quipped.

“Did he, now,” John murmured and circled his arms around Sherlock’s waist.

Sherlock hummed and bent down to kiss John softly.

“Noticed anything else?” he asked innocently and a bit breathless when they parted.

“I did actually. You’ve been to your tailor,” John said with a broad smile.

“Tell me,” Sherlock purred and sucked John’s bottom lip into his mouth.

“Just spotted some small things. Your shirt isn’t tucked into your trousers in its usually way, one button is only half buttoned, and your left trouser leg has a – “

Sherlock interrupted John’s deductions with a passionate kiss. He looked down into the blue eyes and it felt like he was drowning in a sea of adoration.

“You are a marvel, John Watson,” he whispered.

“Just paying attention to the details that are out of order,” John shrugged, a bit embarrassed by such praise.

“A shame you only catch such details when it comes to me and not at crime scenes.”

John slapped Sherlock’s arse, called him a brat, and went to make tea, while Sherlock decorated the tree.

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[naviiq]

5#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.

dear y/n.

heyy cutie.. i hope you like the gifts i got you. i know this isn’t the easiest way to communicate, but it's the only way right now. things have gotten.. complicated. i don't have much time to spare.

i’m writing this quickly and short, because things are moving fast, and i need to make sure you understand what’s going on. things are about to get messy, i know it, so i’m doing what i can to keep it all from falling apart.

the whole thing with the transport barrier and the crowd of civilians, none of that was going to be easy. but i didn’t.. fully expect this. i mean.. i did, but you know what i mean. i didn’t expect the king of cursed spirits to come together like this, or for the sheer fucking chaos that would unfold once sukuna was set loose.

and if anyone is going to deal with him, it’s got to be me. it always had to be me.

i’m doing this because it’s necessary, because i need to, and if anyone is going to deal with him, it’s got to be me. it’ll always be me. you’ll understand when the time comes. hopefully the students will explain.

i know you’ve always believed in me, hell, i’ve built my whole persona around being the unbeatable, invincible sorcerer. but i’ve learned something over the years: no matter how strong you are, no matter how much you try to control everything around you, there are things that will always get away from you. and i’ve come to terms with the fact that sukuna isn’t someone i can just 'neutralize' in the usual way. this time, it’s different. this fight’s different. and if i’m being honest, part of me knew that from the very beginning.

i’m sorry for the things i never told you. i’m sorry for the times i acted like everything was a joke, like i was invincible and nothing could hurt me. i didn’t want you to see how often i was just faking it, pretending like i had all the answers. the truth is, there were moments where i was terrified. terrified of the responsibility, terrified of what would happen if i ever failed. so i did what i always do, i covered it with jokes, with ridiculous stunts, and by being 'the strongest.' it was easier that way, wasn’t it? easier for me, easier for everyone else.

but i guess that’s where i was wrong. you deserved more than that. you deserved to see all the versions of me. so, for all the times i let you down, for all the times i acted like i wasn’t just as scared and confused as anyone else.. i’m sorry. really, i am.

the truth is, i’ve never really had a plan for how to handle all this. the higher-ups wanted me to handle everything, like i was some kind of god who could solve all their problems. but i’ve always known the world’s broken, y/n. it’s always been broken. and now, it’s my turn to do something about it. even if i don’t come back from this, at least i’ll know i gave it everything i had.

sukuna isn’t just some 'big bad guy' for me to beat. he’s the only thing standing in the way of everything. i can’t just let him continue. i can’t let him tear down what little everyone managed to hold down together. and if that means putting myself on the line.. then so be it. it’s what i have to do.

i don’t expect you to understand fully, but i need you to know this: if something happens, if i don’t make it back, just know that i’m okay with it. this was always the risk. i’ve always known that. but i want you to keep going. i want you to keep fighting. you’ve got the strength to carry on. i wouldn’t have left if I didn’t believe that, you already know that baby.

so, if something happens to me, if i don’t come back, please, don’t let it break you. keep going. keep fighting. and don’t forget that i did what i know was the best choice. i don’t have regrets about the choices i made. i just regret that it had to end this way.

i don’t know how to say goodbye, and i don’t want to. but whenever this is it, i need you to know that i love you more than i ever thought i could, i didn't really think i could love anyone after suguru. you were my greatest love. and i’m sorry i never got to say that to your face one last time.

anyways, i’m rambling now. just know this.. if i don’t make it back, i’m grateful for every second we had, for everything. you’ve meant more to me than you know.

from, your glorious blue eyed king.

p.s. take care of yourself. keep your head up. and don’t forget baby, i was the strongest. and i hope your heart will be the strongest to stomach all this.

[jseegoramblings]

the JSE diagnosis (according to me. This is my opinion)

(THERE WILL BE ALTRVERSE SPOILERS AHEAD SO IF YOU DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED, DON’T READ THIS POST/RANT.)

so… I was recently thinking about the DSM-5 and the JSE egos… plus with Seán’s recent diagnosis with Autism (welcome to the club) I thought I would do this. I also will use behaviours we have seen from the egos and state how that applies to the diagnosis to some level.

note- this is my opinion however, if you disagree, that’s cool. Let me know what your thoughts are or if you have any questions. (Note: I know I don’t go into detail on how these connect to the diagnosis but hopefully The points below make some sense? Also… please don’t self diagnosis yourself based on this information alone… if you suspect you have something please consult a profession before doing so! Also… all videos will be listed as Tumblr has a 30 link/image limit… so comic images will show evidence, but video names will be listed.)

JBM: AuDHD

this one I thought I would start with because he is not only the easiest to see why I would state he is this, but also with the comics- it has become clear and most of the fanbase seems to agree with this. 1. he has a special interest in heros (Autism/ADHD)

now… in the comics, this is clear when in VOL 1. He is talking to the movie theatre worker about the movie…. Now look at this face. Does this look like the actions of someone who is neurodivergent explaining something that is interesting to them?

not only that… but when trying to problem solve… he imagines himself as a hero to help his thinking

Also… in VOL 0… his room clearly shows signs that he loves superhero’s… sure, you could shake this off saying that he’s just a nerd. Which yeah. May be true… but with the additional above info? It seems he is very genuinely interested in this and gets happy and excited by this

2. he overthinks social situations to avoid doing the wrong thing(Autism)

Yes. This is something VERY common in people with ASD, especially for those who struggle with social connections (yes. Even for those considered ‘higher functioning’)

you may wonder… where the hell is this present? Well… look no further than that same scene as before… the one where he was day dreaming. Where he was trying to come up with solutions with how to socialise properly

this by itself, shows he struggles socially, but also expects the worst as he doesn’t know how to socialise on a typical level… however, if someone were to ask him about hero’s? I have no doubts he would rant about it for hours!

3.he is often in his own world(ADHD)

this is more seen in Vol 0, when the manager of Ion X is talking to him. He’s in his own world thinking to himself- which is common in those who have ADHD.

4. he can take things literally(Autism)

I mean… just look at how he got his hero name.

he could have chosen a different name… but as soon as he heard the question of ‘what is you’re name’ he goes to answer his real name. Which is taking the question word for word

5. perseverates when something is new/different/unknown (Autism)

Perseverating- the act someone who is neurodivergent does when they can’t let go of something and think of it consistently. (Definition by me) I mean… just look at how he reacts when he discovers where his powers are coming from isn’t positive… he thinks about it constantly until something takes his attention away from it.

As soon as he stops that though… and goes back to doing nothing… he instantly thinks about it again.

if you’re thinking ‘well that’s something everyone will do’… sure… but, I’ll use myself as an example. I have a VERY intense fear of needles. If I get a bloodshot, I can’t even talk about it for WEEKS. And my body feels itchy in the spot blood was drawn. so yes. Perseverating can happen when individuals face something that is anxiety inducing.

6. sometimes misreads social cues(Autism/ADHD)

now… my main argument is 2 things for this is when Jackie is ranting about his interest, and has no idea the worker at the movie theatre is not interested until he actually looks

another thing to point out/notice… he doesn’t even pay attention to how the robots aren’t harming anybody… or take a moment to look at his surroundings, he instantly goes to beat up the robots, and it isn’t until too late when he realises… this.

If this doesn’t show struggling with social cues… I don’t know what will.

7. Changes/messing up can cause anxiety.(Autism)

now… again, this is seen as something that you may not think Jackie shows…. However, there is one scene in particular that shows he is hard on himself and when he makes a mistake. He is discouraged and has anxiety on messing up.

these 2 scenes above just show he wants to do things right, and when he doesn’t- he shuts down easily. And that’s the reasons why Jackie fits AuDHD as a diagnosis.

Marvin: gifted

this one, was a bit tricker and it wasn’t until recent that I found one that fits him… you may be confused why I chose this… well, first of all- what the heck is gifted as a diagnosis? gifted as a diagnosis refers to individuals who have a higher than average IQ, and are quick to understand things… but struggle a ton socially, it’s similar to autism, but it can be misdiagnosed as ADHD.

1.really good at magic, doesn’t have to study it

now I know you may be thinking ‘well yeah duh! In the comics, he has a higher power.’ And… I would agree with you there… however. I’m Vol 1… he had a look at a book for one… maybe 2 minutes at best… and what happens?

now…. I have no idea about you but for me at least? I would need to read something over and over again in order to understand it and make a connection. 2. gets discouraged when he doesn’t understand something right away/fails

now… you may wonder where that shows and think ‘well that’s everyone’s reaction!’ Which is true!! But… look at his reaction to failing the exam…

obviously, failing is upsetting… and yes. Especially when you fail the first time… however it’s not usual to get frustrated or upset when you don’t understand something… as an older adult.

however, when you expect yourself to know everything… you tend to put higher expectations on yourself which can absolutely weigh on you. 3. Knows right from wrong, and not afraid to stick with gut.

this one may seem a bit odd and you might think ‘well… yeah. Doesn’t everyone?’ Yes… but with gifted individuals… they tend to know right from wrong. And when they know someone did wrong doing… it can cause them frustration. Just look at this scene when Marvin discovered the twins erased his and others memories of what happened to the murder?

this up here, shows that when he knows someone went against what is morally right. He is not gonna have it and sticks with his guns.

another moment to point out. Is initially… when offered a really high position with the Magic circle:

this, by itself really shows he sticks to his guns and initially… he does stick to this decision until Ramesses mentions that Moria and Marvin could be put in a position of danger. normally, you would expect children to stick to their opinions regardless… but Marvin here? He goes back. Because his mom could be put in danger. Which is not right!

now… I would be willing to say that… when his mom dies. We will see him act in a way that shows that he will stick with his knowledge on how he has a strong moral compass later on in the comics. I can guarantee it!

4. is quick on his feet

now… i know this may seem odd. But… a lot of gifted individuals tend to be quick on their feet and know how to act. And Marvin demonstrates this in a few scenes:

below, here- Marvin finds a family that is about to be killed by a robber. What does he do?

which, that by itself, causes the person to flee.

another really powerful instance. And something I almost forgot to mention is that sometimes with gifted individuals… they tend to have a sense of humour as well that may come off as being more adult.. even though Marvin is an adult. This kind of shows how he has a sense of humour and how the humour helps him be quick on his feet.

also this moment… from when he was a teen.

I’m not sure about you, but normally for me… it takes me at least a few days/hours in order to figure out a good comeback. Not a few seconds. 5. smart

now… this one… may seem like a character trait… and you would be right… however. I would like to point out… that Marvin is damn smart… probably more so than people in the universe realise… this can be seen even before getting into magic school.

that fridge clearly shows a photo of an A… showing that he is smart. I won’t stick on this point too much as I will show some more evidence that he is smarter than people think… IQ wise.

6. has high expectations of himself

I think at this point. The lightning image enough is showing how he has high expectations over himself but incase you’re wondering why I put this out? It’s because of how gifted individuals because they are so smart… and because they just tend to know everything, when it comes to learning and understanding new topics and things, there’s impossibly high expectations that they put on themselves and they get frustrated and overwhelmed easily when they don’t know something that is hard.

Marvin getting A’s in school show he is very smart… but I bet if you threw him a chemistry question at that age… don’t be surprised to see a tantrum.

7. enjoys talking to other people who love magic… but not so much every day people

I know this may seem weird but let me explain. For anybody with neurodivergence… they tend to find it easiest to connect with people who are similar or have similar knowledge or interest in things that they love. It’s no different for those who are gifted. Don’t believe me…

well in VOL 1 of void silver… we see Marvin not be social… nor be friends with anybody at his school. But I’m Vol 2, after moving into his new school… what do we suddenly see?

genuine excitement over talking and being around other people! Hmm…. Now if this doesn’t scream neurodivergence… I have no idea what will!

8. gets excitement over something new or challenging

at this point… you may be confused as to where I get this info from… well… just look no further to Marvin doing his math homework…

he’s bored… and clearly craves something new! That expression certainly does not read excitement unlike when you compare him to doing magic… something that causes him to think… that really challenges him.

9. has strong curiosity of the world:

you may find this weird… even wonder why I put it in… but… consider these 2 images… both come after meeting Ramesses, he’s curious and can’t stop thinking about it no matter what. His brain can’t let it go!

That, and plus. When you look at the excitement for magic. It’s clear he’s curious and gets excited by new things.

so… those are all my reasons for why Marvin falls into this category… now onto the next character… Chase Brody.

Chase: ODD/ADHD

videos for evidence:

“IRIS project Anomaly found”

“JSE power hour-Chase Brody”

“TIE a game about depression”

all videos by “Jacksepticeye”

Now here’s another one that you may be shocked as to why I put this on Chase. ADHD, you’re all probably familiar with, but, you may be wonder what ODD is.

ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) is basically a diagnosis where an individual is someone who will go against any authoritative figure, and be defiant in every single way- even if they are wrong.

1.has a drinking problem (ADHD/ODD)

this may seem like a weird one and a confusing one to put. But, let me explain.

so… think about Chase. Obviously everyone calls him ‘sad dad’ but… he also seems to have a serious drinking problem. If you disagree with me. Then why is it that he is okay with drinking when he is about to drive a car or when he is upset dealing with his emotions.

So with that, I was doing research. And it turns out, those who have ADHD tend to have a higher chance of developing a substance abuse. (Which includes things like drugs, coffee or alcohol). now, another important thing to know is that just because I say this does not mean it applies to all people with ADHD. kind of like how not all autistic individuals love trains or need headphones for noise sensitivities, everyone has their different strengths and stretches when it comes to these diagnosis.

no 2 individuals will be exactly the same

2. Is defiant with authoritative figures (ODD)

I know that this may be an odd one to have but… hear me out. this evidence comes straight from what he was like in ‘Anomaly Found’. Thinking back. He didn’t seem to cooperate too much with the scientist and in fact seem to annoy him on purpose despite being in a place where he had no power.

I know that this may seem unfair, especially considering the circumstances on what was going on were brutal and almost borderline torture. However… I would think that you would at least try and do all that you can to follow what is expected in hopes of getting out.

I can hear you saying “but… that was traumatising! I bet if he was somewhere else he would be different!” Possibly yes! However, there is evidence out there that proves that when he is in a place of authority or a place where he can control others? He has no troubles!

3. doesn’t follow expectations (ODD)

again, I know this one seems a bit weird. But I also have some backup evidence of this.

one of my pieces of evidence is the fact that during his first video, there is a scene where he is doing trick shots. And a moment in the video he says “this one is called the drive by” before we hear people scream as he is shooting people. (Note: I understand this is a character and this moment has probably been disproven but I’m still putting it in here.). Obviously, if he did do this and actually shoot people- it’s illegal. But it shows he has no hesitation.

4. irritable (ADHD/ODD)

yes… he has shown some evidence of getting irritable with people…

for one, the Anomaly found video is enough evidence to show that he can get irritable.

even excluding that though… he has shown he gets irritable when things don’t follow what he plans/what he has in mind. For example, in an older video, I remember Chase being in the bathroom and as soon as the camera comes in on him. He looks annoyed at the camera before yelling “Get out!” Clearly someone being in the house was not part of his plan.

now there is some more evidence I could discuss… but I’d rather move on to get some of my other points done.

5. Can be a bit scattered/is disorganised (ADHD):

There are a few moments where we can see Chase can have scattered thoughts and is not the most organised.

one moment in particular is the scene in ‘CHASE’ where he opens his car door and trash just comes out. Sure… we can account this as him being depressed, but I would also like to mention how even in Anomaly found, we can see that he is not thinking straight some of the times there- easily distracted. Side tracked by voices and visuals popping out of nowhere. we can even see this in his first video- with his first appearance. Even during THAT- it was clear that his thoughts and ideas can be all over the place and even a bit disorganised.

6. acts childlike as an adult sometimes (ADHD). I know this may seem odd… but this is kind of something I notice.

I notice that people I see who are diagnosed with ADHD, tend to be a bit more hyper or even child like in energy. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing! But it is a pattern that I see in the adults that I hang around who have ADHD.

does this remind you of anybody? Chase perhaps?

well… I think that’s all the evidence for why I believe Chase has ADHD and ODD. Moving onto Anti!

Anti: Autism

videos referenced

“Say Goodbye”

“IRIS project Anomaly found”

“KJSE”

videos by: Jacksepticeye

Now… I know some of you may be shocked by this… however, I have my reasons for putting Anti as this specifically.

1.Sensory seeking behaviour

you may be confused and thinking. “Where the hell does Anti show this?” well first of all, what do I mean by sensory seeking? Let me explain.

when it comes to anything with the word “sensory” it refers to anything to do with the 5 senses. Now… for neurodivergent people, they may easily be overstimulated or under stimulated easily. “Overstimulation” is when someone’s senses are way too overwhelmed that it makes them shut down or go into a fight/flight response to help deal with calming their senses. This is why some individuals on the spectrum feel the need to cut tags off because tags on clothes can sometimes trigger some individuals who get easily overstimulated to the tag touching their skin. “understimulation” is the opposite. This refers to someone who doesn’t have enough going on with the 5 senses being not triggered enough, and they need to have more- having under stimulation is just as unpleasant and can cause someone to sometimes use too much energy making them get tired easily. So for example, may be why you may see some neurodivergent people LOVE weighted blankets, because it provides extra feeling when you don’t get enough. Which is “sensory seeking” (I don’t know if this is a word, but it seems to fit)

now what does this have to do with Anti? Well… I like to think back to “Say goodbye” what was one of the FIRST things Anti did when he took Jack’s body over? Slit his own throat. And this… can be seen as seeking out stimulation. hell, he even walks around with no socks and shoes (we’ve all seen his feet- get your phones back you dirty minded people!)

and he also seems to almost ALWAYS have something in hand- it’s mainly his knife, now… this obviously I think stopped but before 2019ish… he had his knife always!

2. glitching can be considered stimming

Let me explain!

stimming is something that someone who is neurodivergent may do that seems like a repeated motions, or even repeated noises. This can often be used to help calm or settle someone sometimes. what is something that Anti in the past has done?

lot’s of twitching and glitching. And although it’s something he somewhat doesn’t seem to control. I do notice that the more agitated or aggressive he becomes, the more intense the glitches and twitches are. Which ties together with the fact that stimming can be used to help calm someone down who is neurodivergent.

3. stumbles and stutters over words sometimes

once again. This may seem odd and you may not even notice he does it…. But he does do it! Especially when he first took over Jack in ‘say goodbye’ now, obviously since then he hasn’t done this lots but in the beginning when he was in a new environment, and a new type of situation…. It was certainly there.

4. Gets agitated and angry easily

once again. I know this may seem odd… but, for some people on the spectrum. It’s very easy for them to get upset or peeved off especially if something does not go their way or if there is a change in routine. it’s obvious that Anti has a plan for what to do and what he wants…. But he has also made it clear that if that plan goes sideways… there is hell to pay and he will not hesitate to attack. hell, he even shows that he will go through with what he says he’ll do!

now… I think that’s enough about Anti… now onto JJ.

JJ: PTSD

videos referenced:

“JSE power hour- Jameson Jackson”

“JJ’s Jolly Jaunts”

all videos by: Jacksepticeye

this. Is another one that I think is a bit more clear, and here are a few reasons why. For those of you who are unfamiliar, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a diagnosis that is an intense Anxiety disorder that can appear after a very significant traumatising event that can scar people for life and make everything harder to deal with including triggers…. It’s a diagnosis although commonly seen in soldiers, can happen to anybody who goes through a traumatising enough event (sometimes events that may be close calls to death.)

JJ for this, his traumatising event would be what happened in his first appearance and I’ll explain why. (I don’t have many reasons for this but I do have a couple)

1.gets scared a bit when strings appear

I know this seems weird…. However, at first. Think of when the strings first appeared in his second video. Any normal person would be a bit confused but shrug it off… how did JJ react?

sure he did seem confused, but in his eyes- there’s also a bit of fear- as well as anxiety as if he knows what is about to happen. It’s clear Anti has done something messed up enough for him to get a bit worried about strings.

2. signs of anxiety

this seems to happen when Anti is about to attack or is impacting JJ in some way.

this example comes from “JJ’s Jolly Jaunts” but when Anti takes over at the end…. This is how JJ reacts:

JJ has the heavy breathing, the panicked look, the fight and flight response he even dissociates as if he has been triggered and his brain shuts down to protect him.

this all may seem weird but the brain blocking out certain memories, even moments being erased from conscious is not unusual.

Sure… memories can come and go and that is completely normal… however, sometimes the brain, when it recognises a stressful enough situation, it will just block that memory out from being recalled, it’s a protective mechanism and can be healthy!

However. What is not healthy is when our brain as a coping strategy decides to dissociate to escape a situation no matter what. It’s not only unhealthy, but it can be draining and even dangerous.

it’s at this point I will take a moment to mention that if you or anybody you know is struggling with mental health concerns I would HIGHLY Urge you to talk to someone you trust or therapy. It’s not healthy to hold things back. If there is nobody around there are also hotlines you can call to try and get some help.

Schneeplestien: BPD/ADHD

videos referenced:

“Jacksepticeye Powerhour- Doctor Schneeplestien”

“KJSE”

both videos are by Jacksepticeye.

this one, I also struggled with- but I ended up a bit satisfied with what I have. Even though it took some digging. for those of you who don’t know, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is a diagnosis for those who have intense mood swings, and struggle to maintain control of those emotions. And both ADHD and BPD can be diagnosed together so… I felt this fit.

1.coffee addiction(ADHD/BPD)

once again. This may seem like an odd one but like I said for Chase’s those who have ADHD are more likely to have a substance addiction.

coffee is obviously considered a substance, and Henrik here shows more than enough evidence that it is an unhealthy addiction that he needs in order to be okay. This goes all the way back to his first video, and even some IRIS tweets that are speculated to be ‘Zee Good Docta’ mention coffee so yeah. I think Henrik drinks an unhealthy amount of Caffine.

2. impulsive(ADHD)

this one I think Henrik shows lots of. He not only talks about how he will end patients lives who don’t listen. But he also has a graveyard of patients apparently (yes. He mentioned this before)

now… even if this is all something that you’re thinking “well that was old Henrik Von Schneeplestien” possibly… but. I maybe consider the fact that him looking into time travel or… whatever that portal was at the end of a newer video. I don’t know about you… but you would have to be pretty impulsive to look into something like that.

3. threatens when things don’t go his way(BPD)

this one… we generally see with his patients. But also… in my research, people who have BPD can also not only threaten to harm themselves. But also if triggered enough may threaten and even harm other people.

Sound like anybody?

4. has mood swings(ADHD/BPD)

ironic but… Henrik has shown he can go from happy to angry to sad in a few seconds. Yes this may be due to the Caffine however, it happens pretty fast and is concerning how he can go from happy and wanting to help a patient to threatening to kill them and drug them to death is pretty extreme and someone who is not emotionally stable.

no surprise here, this is a common sign of BPD as they tend to have lots of mood swings.

5. Fears of rejection (ADHD/BPD)

you may be confused but once again… let me explain. Those who have BPD tend to have fears of being rejected by others around them.

we see Henrik have a couple moments where he seems to hate and fear the idea of rejection.

1- the fact he went to Doctor school instead of art school shows that he’s worried about letting his family/parents down.

2- the fact that he ties a connection to him having a license to keeping his wife and child and is devastated when he rips it up.

once again. These 2 things show he has a fear of rejection.

and this is all of my thoughts about them! Hopefully you guys enjoyed reading this!

[ineffable-suffering]

The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens

Just like so many other Good Omens red herrings, hints and *Aziraphale voice* clues, the question of 'What the fuck ist the deal with Aziraphale's flaming sword' has been absolutely tormenting my mind ever since S1 dropped all those years ago.

And while many of my other questions about S2 (like 'What the fuck is the deal with the Eccles cakes' or 'Who the fuck made the Gabriel statue') remain unanswered and could, possibly, just not matter at all and I should just get the fuck over them– the unsolved case of Aziraphale's flaming sword in S1 has always seemed like a weirdly important blind spot to me.

So, in an attempt to finally solve this knot in my brain, I made a timeline for the bloody Flaming Sword because what else would I spend my Friday evening on. Here goes nothing, I thought:

Aziraphale gets issued the sword by Heaven to guard the Garden of Eden in 4004 BC, and gives it away to the humans.

God asks him about it right after they humans have left Eden, Aziraphale lies to her and before even finishing speaking, God just loggs off and doesn't seem to care anymore.

The sword seems to be lost for the next 6000 years to follow and, once again, no one really cares.

The first time we see it again is when the International Express Man delivers it to War in the present day.

The next time we see it after that, is when Pepper effectively kicks war in the shin, makes her drop the sword and proceeds to anihilate her with it.

Brian and Wensleydale do the same to Famine and Pollution.

Aziraphale then wields the sword once more, despite never having to really use it (but hey, it looks capital-B Badass).

Lastly, our Holy Delivery Guy then picks up the sword together with the other (now deceased?) Horsmen's artefacts and they once again vanish.

Needless to say, I found myself nothing the wiser after making this timeline. It seemed completely useless. I still had no idea why the sword even existed and why they kept making such a big fucking fuss about it all throughout Season 1. So, I decided to make another list, this time with all the random ass questions I had about this random ass sword:

Why was it issued to Aziraphale in the first place? Since when does an angel need a random flaming weapon to protect two (2) humans that are already being guarded by a hundred-meter-high wall, when he could very well just miracle away any and every threat to both himself and them?

Was he given the sword to defend himself against demons? If so, why would they give him a burning blade instead of, for example, a Supersoaker full of Holy Water? (Sure, I'm fairly certain Supersoakers hadn't been invented yet, but you catch my drift)

Is the sword actually burning with hellfire? If so, it would a) still be a pretty useless weapon against demons, but also b) possibly explain why Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale were able to kill or at least temporarily get rid of three of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (who, be they whatever they actually are, surely count as some sort of immortal entities just like angels and demons do)

Did the sword actually kill War, Pollution and Famine? After all, the World as we knew it did get reinstated by Adam again once they managed to stop Armageddon. Does that mean that the three Horsemen were revived again too? Unless Season 2 takes place in a war-less, pollution-less and famine-less world, they must have somehow made their return (or never really died in the first place)

Where. The Fuck. Is. The Sword. Now? And why does it bother me so much???????

Alas, just like so many other questions, these too seemed to remain unsolved. And since the fucking sword didn't make a comeback in S2, I guessed that it probably just wasn't more than ... well, a randomly flaming, randomly misplaced, randomly unexplained Flaming Sword.

Nothing more than a plot device.

Hmm, right. A ... plot device.

Hang on. (And that's when it finally hit me.)

It's a fucking plot device.

Most authors and consumers of media are familiar with the use of plot devices in story telling. However, I personally had only every seen characters be used as such, to merely bring an important point across or further underline or advance a story's or main character's development or plot.

It wasn't until I was about to simply give up because I couldn't see my way out of the seemingly unlimited sword-related questions anymore, that I realized: There are no answers to those questions. Just like there are no deeper meanings to any other plot devices. Their sole purpose it so shine some light onto another, more important thing, story or character.

And in this case, that character is Aziraphale. Or more so Aziraphale's choices and his relationship with and belief in God and Heaven. The Flaming Sword (or more so Aziraphale's giving-away of it) is the first way of showing us that Aziraphale:

doesn't always aka pretty much never obey God's will (even all the way back in The Beginning),

will lie to God about disobeying Her

and possibly, just like Crowley joked about, was the one who by trying to do a Good Thing, accidentally gave away something that would later somehow become a literal War weapon, lmao

It also tells us that:

God apparently doesn't always care or cast them out of Heaven when an angel actively disobeys and lies to Her. Or, for all we know, Aziraphale giving the sword away and not admitting to it was somehow part of Her Ineffable Plan anyway.

Heaven is apparently absolutely useless at keeping track of its very few ethereal belongings. That's what you get for outsourcing work, you capitalists.

Right at The End, the sword returns to its owner who had it right in The Beginning too: Aziraphale. And not just that: It actually ends up saving the humans. For the second time. First all the way back in Eden, when it was just Adam and Eve. And now, 6000 years later, at what would have been the end of the World. Very poetic, *wipes away tear*

So yeah, there you go. That's the big revelation I have come to. Would I have preferred to uncover yet another sneaky Gaimanian easter egg just so I could wave it in your face like some sort of a puzzle solved at a scavenger hunt?

Sure.

But hey, sometimes flaming sword plot devices are just that. And I'll make my peace (or War?) with it.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

warnings: swearing, argument, menstruation

Sherlock paced the flat, occasionally tapping away on his phone. I sat in John’s chair, curled up around myself as tightly as I could.

“Sherlock.” I said. He continued to ignore me. “Sherlock.” There was a raise of the eyebrow but he still continued to ignore me. “Sherlock Holmes!” He jolted and frowned as he turned to look at me.

“What? What could you possibly want that is more important than this case?” He asked, venom dripping from his voice.

“and what about that case is more important than your partner being in pain?” I shot back. Sherlock looked me over.

“I see nothing wrong with you.” Sherlock scoffed.

“of course you don’t.” I muttered, getting up and grabbing my coat. “You’re such a fucking machine that you can’t even tell when your partner is in the middle of their period.” I shrugged my coat on and opened the door. “When you get your shit together Sherlock, call me. Until then…” I shook my head and left. I could hear him calling for me but I ignored him. Mrs. Hudson came out of her flat and looked up as I came down the stairs.

“what’s all that yelling about?” She asked.

“Sherlock being a dumbass as usual.” I muttered as I paused in front of her. “He thinks the case is more important than whatever I have doing on right now so I’m going to leave him to his own devices until he can get his shit together.”

“John will be back soon. Maybe if you wait…” I shook my head and sighed.

“I can’t wait for John to come back. I’ll rip his head off while we wait.” I admitted. “And as pissed as I am at him, he doesn’t deserve it.” Mrs. Hudson rubbed my arm.

“be safe luv.” She said before letting me leave. I wandered the streets of London, grabbing fish and chips from queensway before taking the London eye. I watched a couple take a picture in front of the parliament building, kissing before giggling at each other. I smiled softly to myself, pulling my phone out of my pocket as it buzzed.

‘The case can wait. You’re more important to me than anything. Please come home -SH’

biting my lip, I texted Sherlock back. I explained that I was still pissed off at him and I would be back later. I didn’t receive a response so I pocketed my phone and continued to walk around the city. When I had reached whitechapel, I started to head down towards the Jack the Ripper museum. I paused when I saw Sherlock leaning against the building.

“Sherlock…” I said, looking around before stopping in front of him. “What…”

“I’ve been an idiot.” He said, reaching out to touch my arm. “You always come here when you’re pissed at me. Or life. You’re looking for something to help solve it. Why I don’t know but it’s admirable. The unsolvable case.” He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re admirable. Everything about you. And you are more important to me than any damn case.”

“glad you finally noticed.” I said, chuckling as I shook my head. “John knock some sense into you?”

“Mrs. Hudson.” Sherlock admitted. “And you. I didn’t realize that you were feeling like shit. For all my deduction and reasoning…I failed you.” Sherlock wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry. Really. How does going home sound?” I nodded, wrapping an arm around his waist as he turned to lead me back to baker street.

“strange to hear you apologize.” I mused as I laid my head on his shoulder. Sherlock hummed in agreement.

“Someone must have really knocked some sense into me then.” He teased. I smiled at him. Sherlock leaned down and pressed a kiss to my head. “If you ever need help solving that case…I’d be happy to help.”

“I think I’ve got this one.” I said, pausing and turning in his hold. “But thank you.” I leaned in and kissed Sherlock with the sun setting behind parliament.

[onim5]

The New Student. Part 1

Portgas D. Ace x Fem Reader

This is a modern au.

Warnings: Swearing, like once.

----------------------------

Sabo threw a pencil at Ace to try and wake him up. The teacher had only just settled down at the front, so having Ace asleep would get him in trouble. Throwing another one harder made his brother finally wake up. Ace looked a little pissed at Sabo and then threw the six pencils back.

"Good morning, class. Today, we have a new student." Mr Corazon announced. He signaled with his hand to the door, and a girl walked in. "Please, introduce yourself," Corazon said with a smile. "I'm Y/n. Where do I sit?" Corazon sighed. He had expected a little longer introduction. "You can sit next to Ace." He mumbled, pointing at the seat. I quickly settled down next to the guy. He smiled welcoming, and I looked the other way.

She's probably hiding a blush. Ace thought, knowing how girls reacted around him. The class introduced themselves, and then the lesson began. During the whole class, I sat quietly listening, annoyed with the idiot next to me. He fell asleep not once but seven times. Sure, he woke up after his naps, but then he glanced at my work to see what he had missed. After a long lesson, the break finally began.

I hurriedly took my stuff and ran away. I can't take being questioned.

"And she's gone," Sabo said, walking up to Ace. "Yeah, I think she's an introvert. I tried asking her what she liked. But she didn't answer and just ignored me." Ace explained, amused. "Ah, you think she's playing hard to get?" Sabo asked, knowing Ace got asked out like three or nine times every day. "Most likely." Some girls listened from the other side of the classroom in jealousy.

I grabbed the first prophecy of Warriors, a damn good book series I read a long time ago. When I walked out of the library, a dude began waving a hello. I looked around and realized he was waving at me. I nodded a hi and then kept walking to my locker, wanting to leave the books. "You need any help?" He asked, walking up to me. "Sure." I gave him three of the books, and then we walked to my locker.

"You a bookworm?" He asked as we walked. "Not really, I just read sometimes," I answered, feeling stares from girls in the corridor. What's their problem? I thought, realizing the aura of jealousy thickened. I glanced at the dude holding my other books. F. U. C. K.

I opened my locker and grabbed the books he had carried. "Thanks," I grumbled, grabbing the books for my next lesson. "You're welcome." Ace watched amused, as I left for our next lesson. When Ace walked into the classroom, I had already sat at our bench reading. The other girls stared down at me, but I didn't even realize it. "Hey, Y/n. What are you reading?" Ace asked, leaning on his elbow.

Nothing. Ace asked again and waited for an answer. Nothing again. The lesson began, and he waited nervously for the teacher to realize. "Y/n, what is the answer to this? Y/n? Y/n, are you paying attention?" Mr Diamante asked in a serious tone. Nothing. Diamante walked up and snatched the book from my hands. I looked at him and realized the lesson had begun. "Oh, excuse me, sir." I apologized.

"Y/n, let's make a deal if you go up to the board and show the class how to answer this. And if you answer and show how correctly, you can read in my classes whenever you want. Without trouble." Diamante smirked evilly and waited for me to embarrass myself. I got up and walked to the board. Grabbing the pencil, I quickly solved everything and described how I did it. Diamante sighed in disappointment and threw my book onto me. "Thanks, sir," I whisper, walking back to the bench, feeling scared.

"That was amazing," Ace whispered, holding his thumb up. "Maybe, but soon enough, everyone is gonna ask me to do their homework, and when I decline, some are gonna force me." I begin, hiding my face in my hair. Ace looks confused, surprised, and with empathy as he hears my quiet cry for help. "Eh, hey, it's okay. People aren't like that here." Ace said comfortingly. Putting a hand on my back. "Please don't touch me." I hissed. He retreated his hand quickly, normally when 'he' touched a girl lightly they got in a better mood. Does this girl maybe know? About his father?!

A wave of anxiety hit Ace as he leaned on his bench, putting his hands shakingly in his hair. She's gonna tell everyone. Everyone will know and then hate him.

The days went on, and because of the imbecile following me around, I even learned his name, Portgas D Ace. He doesn't seem to know how to leave someone alone. My class just ended, and I ran out, literally! "See you later, Sabo!" Ace yelled as he ran after. I ran to my locker threw in my books and then locked it, hurrying to the dining hall. "Shit." Ace hissed as he threw in his books, locked and then ran after. "Why are we hurrying so much?!" Ace yelled in the rush. He was luckily faster and caught up soon enough. "Why are you following me?" I asked as I slowed down.

"What do you mean? We've been hanging with each other for three days." Ace said as we walked into the dining hall. "Dude! I'm a loser who doesn't do anything fun. Someone like you wouldn't hang around me unless there's a reason." I hiss, as I served myself food. "Uh, well, I think we have had fun," Ace said as he followed me to a table. I groaned. "Like yesterday when we ran around the school," Ace said, smiling. "Huh, are you kidding me?!" I ask quietly.

"You threw a damn bottle at that gang leader Katakuri and then you! Followed me as I ran away." I whisper while munching on my food. "Well, what about the day before yesterday, at the mall." Ace smiled. "You mean when I was buying new clothes and you yelled my name through the mall?" I asked, irritated. "No, when we went to that thrift shop and found the best stuff ever," Ace said as if the shit he found wasn't a couple of ugly porcelain plates and cups.

"My little brother Luffy breaks everything when he does the dishes." Ace, explain plainly. And then he falls head first into the plate, sleeping. I sigh and begin to listen around me. "I hate Y/n, I don't get why Ace is giving her all the attention. You don't think he like, like her?" A girl sitting at a table grumbled, clearly pissed. "Well, to be honest, it seems that Ace is following Y/n everywhere. It also looks like she doesn't wanna be with him." Another said. "She's just playing hard to get." The first comment.

Ace groaned as he woke up. "Here," I said, giving him a napkin. "Oh, thanks." He smiled and then cleaned up. I stood up and left the dining hall. "Wait!" Ace kind of yelled as he shoved all the food in his mouth and then ran after. I grabbed the second book of my series and then walked to a table in the corridor on the whole way Ace couldn't shut up. "And that is why you should never jump from a roof," Ace explained. "It's common sense not to jump from a roof." I blankly said, opening my book. "So~ what's this series about?" Ace asked, not knowing what else to do. "It's about cats that live in clans," I said, turning the page.

"That sounds interesting," Ace commented. "You said you only read sometimes and that you weren't a bookworm. But you have been reading every break we've had." Ace added. "That's because I hope you leave me alone," I muttered. "Oh," Ace sighed. I also wish I could leave you alone. You're boring. But the moment I do, you tell everyone who my father is. I need to make you understand that I am a nice guy, nothing like Gold Roger. Ace thought.

"If you're interested in the books, you could always read. I have already finished the first, and it's still in my locker. The title is 'Into The Wild'." I said, holding up my key. I hate reading. "Ah, thank you," Ace said, grabbing the key. He walked and glanced every second to make sure you didn't leave. When he got past the corner, he sprinted to get to your locker. "Ace, what are you doing." Ace looked up at Mr Corazon, who most likely thought Ace was doing mischief. "Eh, I'm borrowing a book," Ace said as he looked at the titles. "I didn't know you like reading," Corazon stated. "I do, but I'm not too good, so I rarely do it." Ace half lied.

Oh good, she's still here. Ace thought as he turned the corner. He sat down and then opened the book. Since it was lunch break, it was extra long. So Ace came to the good parts. Fifteen minutes before class started, I grabbed Ace's attention and told him I was going. "I'm just gonna finish the page." He mumbled. I couldn't help smiling. It's always fun when someone likes the same books.

The lesson started, and Senor Pink wrote up the assignment on the board. Then he settled down on his desk. "I expect you to have made-up groups within five minutes. Don't keep me waiting." He said at last. "I guess it's us two, but we need one more," Ace said, looking around. "Oi Sabo wanna work with us?" Ace asked. "Sure. Have you decided on a book yet?" Sabo asked, moving his chair to our bench. A grin on Ace grew as he looked at me. "Warriors, but the books are a little short, so we take the first one Into the Wild, and the second. . . . . Y/n what's the second called?" Ace whispered. "Fire And Ice," I mumbled. "I have never heard about those books. What are they about?" Sabo asked. "Cats," Ace said confidently.

Huh, has Ace a cat interest? Asked Sabo in his head. Senor Pink gruffed to get the class's attention. "Alright, since you're all in groups, go to the library and find what you decided on, then you can spend the the rest of the lesson reading." Senor Pink took up his phone. It was his beloved Russian that called him.

"We're going to have to make a list of all the characters and a good summary of the story, and since we've chosen two books, we're gonna have two summaries. Sabo, I have read this before and am on the second book now." I said as we entered the library, I looked expectedly at Ace. "I started reading the first book on our lunch break, so yeah," Ace mumbled, embarrassed as he knew Sabo would comment. "You read a book on our break?" Sabo asked in disbelief. "Yup."

Time skip

"Who's Y/n?" Luffy asked as he tried to steal some food from the counter. "She's our partner in a group project for literature class," Sabo explained as he smacked Luffy's hand away. "Is she another one of those annoying ladies that tries to hook up with you two?" Luffy asked, holding his hand. "She doesn't seem to have any interest to Ace's disappointment." Sabo grinned. "Aowth." Was heard from the cough. "What is that supposed to mean?" Ace asked, holding his nose due to the impact of the book he dropped. He sat up and looked into the kitchen over the cough's backrest. "You're very obvious Ace, everyone at school knows you like her. Except Luffy." Sabo explained, mumbling the last part.

"What! No, we're just friends. I hope." Ace said, leaning over. "What do you mean hope? Don't you want her as a girlfriend?" Sabo asked. "Of course, I want that, but I don't think she even considers me a friend. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - NO WAIT!!!" Ace yelled in realization. "You tricked me!" Ace added. "Don't yell. We might get a voice complaint from the neighbors again," Sabo said calmly. "Shishishi, Grandpa got mad last time." Luffy smiled, then he ran up to his room.

"So~ do you like Y/n or not?" Sabo asked. Ace placed the book on the living room table. "I have never thought about us in such a way," He said as he walked into the kitchen. "Well, the whole school thinks you're in love with her." Sabo continued. "Wait, why am I the one who people think is in love?" Ace asked, confused, as he took a knife to cut up vegetables. "Because you have been following her like she's your life support or something." Sabo scoffed. Ace grumbled, not wanting to answer that.

Luffy came down the stairs and held up a drawing. "Does it look like her?" He asked. "Is that even a human?" Ace asked. Sabo went up to the drawing and checked it out. "Hmm, never show her that." He stated as he walked back to the stove. "Am I that far off?" Luffy asked as he scratched his head a little.

------------------------------------------

"I hope you liked it. Feel free to comment and ask questions."

[akemiiya]

flowey-centric - first person pov - 750~ words

this was supposed to be the introduction for a fic i'm writing, but I decided that it doesn't really fit with the rest of what I had in mind, so I'm posting it here as a standalone. hope you all like it.

Stale monotony has its claws tightly wrapped around my stem. I've exhausted every possibility I can. There is nothing else I could possibly think of doing. Boredom engulfs me, and excitement is faraway.

Whenever I'm feeling lost, I visit my best friend’s grave and talk to them. I know they aren't listening to anything I say. They're gone, body long decomposed and SOUL shattered into space. There isn't anything left of them. Still, words spill from my lips like a waterfall, as I talk about anything that comes to mind.

It's soothing, in a way.  

Then, without any warning, something heavy falls from the sky while I'm mid-sentence and collides with the patch of flowers, right on top of their grave. I barely manage to burrow into the ground in time to avoid getting hit.

I resurface a distance away. I'm about to rip apart whatever interrupted me so rudely, but when I get closer, I see it.

Smooth flesh, the rise and fall of its chest, a heartbeat – there's no mistaking it. This is a human.

An actual, real human.

This is the first time a human has fallen since I woke up in this form.

What fortunate timing. I had saved shortly before this, right when I arrived to talk to Chara. I have the perfect point of return if I want to retry anything.

Hee hee… We’re going to have so much fun together. I just know it.

I bring myself back to the present, and that’s when I hear it: the human whimpering softly, hands clutching their leg, which is bent at a weird angle… I think. I'm not actually sure. There aren’t a lot of books about human anatomy down here, but Chara’s legs never looked like that, in any case. I suppose they must have broken it on the way down. I crane my stem upwards, and…

Wow. I never realized how long of a fall that was. Yeah, I can see why that would have happened.

I’m about to introduce myself, when I hear footsteps. Even and steady, the slightly muffled sound of soft paws on the floor – it’s Toriel.

Irritation flashes through me. Seriously? Now? Her timing couldn’t be any worse!

I can’t let her see me. This is just too bad. For now, I hide underground and listen. Toriel’s footsteps approach the human, who is still crying. I hear her suck in a breath. She must have seen their leg too.

“Oh, you are hurt! Do not worry, I will fix this.”

The room takes on a soothing atmosphere as magic is gathered into a healing spell. There is the telltale sound of it hitting its target, and the human’s sobs subside slightly. Toriel lets out a breath of relief, and starts speaking: “I am TORIEL, caretaker of the RUINS.”

I’ve heard all this before. I tune her out and slightly lift my head above the ground. It’s a good thing that this patch is full of golden flowers – it’s the perfect camouflage for me. 

I can see them now. The human doesn’t say anything, but their eyes shine as they take in Toriel’s appearance, gazing at her in wonder. Heh, the complete opposite of Chara. I remember our first meeting clearly. They had also gotten injured on the way down, and they were apprehensive of me despite me healing their injuries. They looked at my face, then stumbled backwards and exclaimed…

…No, that’s not important. Anyways, the human grabs Toriel’s hand and follows her, walking with a slight limp in their step. She introduces them to the RUINS, explains the puzzles, and makes them solve a few laughably easy ones by themself. It’s utterly mind-numbing. I have half the mind to interrupt them, but no. I have to be patient. 

I still hate this, though.

After what must have been years, they finally arrive at her home and pass through the doorway. Toriel brings the kid to my room, and– “This is your new room.”

Wait, what? Their room? No! That’s mine! My room! It belongs to me! It has my glow-in-the-dark stars and toys and everything! Are you kidding me?!

I know she had taken care of the rest of the humans before this one too. But if she’s giving my room to this brat, does that mean…

…

Ha. I knew she had been itching to replace me, but this… Ha. Ha ha ha.

What a bad joke.

Enough. I can’t bear to stick around any longer. I’ll check up on the human again later. I burrow into the ground and go as far away from here as possible.

She ruffles the human's head. Just like she used to do with–

[bvidzsoo]

The Nightfury

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: gore, violence, blood, smut, maiming, fighting, swearing

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

Word count: 22,2k

Summary: When Captain Kim died Hongjoong was only fifteen years old. He couldn't let his father's name go in vain, he took over the ship and became the next Captain Kim, better known as The Slayer. Everyone feared Hongjoong and his crew, Ateez. Everyone except you. You met in an Inn when you both were younger and tricked him into threatening an innocent man, and then you robbed him. You thought it was funny how such a powerful and feared man was so easy to play with, so you started your little game of sabotaging Hongjoong's affairs, unknowing that you were playing with fire. Would The Nightfury or The Slayer win once their swords clashed against each other? (Reader is called Lee Yuri in the following oneshots.)

A/N: Hii, I'm back!! But so is university, unfortunately, so I'll be slower with my updates. Also, this part is dark, alright, so take the warnings seriously! I didn't write anything very very detailed, but it's there, okay? Personally, I don't think San's part was too dark, I think it was more shocking and infuriating, however this one is just a different cup...also, if you haven't read Jongho's part, I highly recommend you do before reading this, because there are many call-backs to it. If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know. And enjoy now! Share your thoughts!

Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329 @icarusignite

Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part

            4 years ago

            From a young age, I had been encouraged to go out in the world, learn as many things as possible, be creative and discover myself: my likes and dislikes. From a young age, I knew I had a bright future in front of me, I knew I was destined to do incredible things, to be remembered forever. It’s the circumstances that came as a surprise to everyone, even myself, to how I achieved my current fame and the slightly atrocious things I had to do to get here. We didn’t do many bad things as my crew was still small, our ship barely fitting for twenty people, but we were growing, expanding. We were saving up for something bigger, better, and stronger. But for that, I needed money. A lot of it. Hanging around lowlifes and nobodies wasn’t going to solve my issues, so I carefully carved out a plan for myself. And the plan was perfect and simple. Find a target, quite easy as men had always been gullible, but they needed to be rich, now that was a harder task as these men tended to be slightly smarter than the rest. But with a bat of an eyelash, some sweet words and the right attitude you could get anything. And what I needed most were their riches. That turned out to be the easiest part, robbing them of their goods without them even noticing. And it was also fun and thrilling to watch their despair as they slowly realized they had nothing to fend off of anymore, promising to get it back in order to shower you with more expensive gifts, but I wouldn’t stick around for that long. No, I took what they had and then left, latching onto my next victim like a leech, taking away everything they had tucked away in their little chests filled with gold and jewelry. I didn’t care about them, I only cared about my own goal, and that was money. Lots of it. Thus, you probably would understand the predicament I found myself in currently, staring at the middle-aged man with bored eyes as he was trying to explain that his wife had caught onto him spending more money lately and started questioning him. I had zero interest in his sob story, whatever problems he was having with his wife was none of my business, he doomed himself the second he fell for my convincing act. He was the easiest to get and the dumbest out of all the men I have tricked so far, it made me almost feel bad for him.

“Listen, my love, I have to lay low for a little while because my wife is now more suspicious than ever.” He said in a hushed tone, looking around paranoid despite the loud chatter inside the Inn; nobody was paying attention to us.

“What about the emerald necklace I showed you last week?” I asked with a pout, sighing deeply. I watched as the man in front of me crumbled, a look of helplessness crossing his features.

“I know, I know, my love, but—”

“There would be no but’s if you loved me enough, Juyeon.” I cut him off, eyebrows furrowing in fake hurt, playing with my fingers in my lap. Juyeon, the man currently so desperate, let out a long breath of air and rubbed his forehead.

“I could—I—” He bit his lower lip, shaking his head, “I could try and buy it for you next week, but my wife—”

“It’s always your wife!” I allowed my voice to raise a little bit, pretending that I was fed up with him prioritizing his wife all the time. Juyeon tensed at the raise of my tone and glanced around, placing his hands on the table and slipping them towards me.

“No, no, it’s not like that, my love, you know it.” He tried to reason with me, taking my hands in his, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I gulped and looked away, pretending that I was trying not to cry, “You know I love you more than anything else in the four seas and four kingdoms, but—I—I still need to take care of her and the children, I can’t—I can’t abandon them.”

I huffed and whipped my head around, to look at him, “That’s not what you said a few weeks ago, Juyeon.”  

He chuckled nervously and started rubbing my knuckles again, “Well, I thought about it more and—”

“So, you don’t love me.” I cut him off again, pulling my hands away from his hold, sniffing, “All of this was a lie. You don’t love me, Juyeon, you just don’t. You were trying to make a fool out of me and you succeeded!”

Juyeon chuckled nervously as I raised my voice, again, and quickly shook his head, “No, that’s not—”

“Really?!” I snapped, eyes filling with tears, “Because that’s not what it looks like right now! You promised we’d run away by the end of the month, you promised to buy me that emerald necklace, you promised to make me your lover! And now you’re saying you want nothing to do with me anymore?!”

Juyeon’s eyebrows furrowed as I let a few tears slip down my cheeks, sniffing now loudly, “No, my love. That is not what I’m saying! I love you and I will prove it to you—”

“Then run away with me.” I pressed, wiping away the tears, but more fake ones kept falling. I should’ve become an actress, that way my parents would’ve actually been proud of me.

“I can’t.” Juyeon muttered looking away, biting his lower lip again. It was my time to shine, I had to suppress my smirk from showing, as I stood up abruptly, the chair screeching loudly, making Juyeon look up at me alarmed.

“You don’t love me!” I said loudly, a few people around us glancing our way, “And you never did! All you did was use me, because you thought I must be dumb just because I’m young, right?! Who do you think you are, Lee Juyeon?! Shamefully charming me with your money and jewelry you gifted me—did you even think about your wife?! What if she were ever to see us—your children too!”

Juyeon was on his feet in an instant, eyes wide as people were now staring at us curiously, always up for a juicy story. Tears fell from my eyes and I wiped at them angrily, flinching back when he tried to touch me from across the table, “What—what are you talking about, Y/N?”

“Don’t act innocent right now!” I screamed, voice raw, Juyeon’s eyes even wider than before, “Stop lying to me and just admit all you did was use a poor girl like me for your sick and twisted fantasies!”

“That’s not what it is!” Juyeon suddenly screamed back, dark eyes narrowed now in anger and he stepped around the table, taking a hold of my arm. Despite his anger, his grip was still soft, careful not to hurt me. I could see the confusion in his eyes and I gulped as I averted my own, looking at the table, trying to tug my arm free, but he wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, I yelped and looked at him as I allowed a sob to escape my plump lips.

“You’re hurting me—” I whimpered, very fakely, but Juyeon reacted instantly. And so did someone else. As Juyeon’s grip softened even more, about to release me, a body larger than mine and Juyeon’s, appeared out of nowhere, pushing the middle-aged man backwards. Juyeon looked startled and so did I as my act slipped for a second as I looked to my left, staring at the newcomer. I was left speechless as I stared at his profile, jawline so sharp it could cut me in half.

“Mate, it’s time you stop.” His voice was firm and his gaze threatening as I couldn’t look away, suddenly captured by his presence, his aura. It was so strong, so sharp, and dominating. He exuded a call for respect, able to make anyone take a step back and oblige to his wishes. His black clothes were in perfect condition and he stood close enough for me to feel the sweet smell of his cologne, mixed with something salty. I gulped as I became conscious that I was staring, so I averted my eyes back on Juyeon, who looked like he didn’t know what to do. Even I forgot what I was supposed to do for a second.

“Please—” I whispered softly, eyes filled with tears as I looked back at the stranger, who’s eyes suddenly fell on me. I gulped, trying to mask the sudden attraction I was feeling towards him. His cat-like eyes rimmed with black eyeliner bore into mine sharply, analyzing my face for a second before he turned back towards Juyeon, who shook his head and tried to approach me again.

“It’s not what it looks like, I assure you—”

“You saying that makes it look like exactly that, mate.” The breathtaking stranger snapped, his voice low as his eyes narrowed at Juyeon, “I advise you leave when I’m still asking nicely.”

I gulped and wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt, Juyeon and I making eye contact briefly as he scoffed and grabbed his small bag, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you did this to me.” He muttered to himself, casting a last glance my way, his eyes filled with pain as he shamefully left the Inn, more people glaring at him and giving me sympathetic glances. I pretended to shiver as the stranger’s eyes and focus was on me now, having to continue my lie still. This is not the outcome I expected, but perhaps I was about to score big tonight. I allowed my eyes to run over the stranger’s body, noting the various necklaces adorning his smooth neck, his skin tan and satiny. The black pearl on a shorter chain caught my attention and my fingers itched to wrap around it and snap it off his neck. My eyes traveled lower and I tried to count his rings too, wearing at least two on one finger, making me gulp. This man was rich. And he wasn’t afraid of showing it off. Before our gazes connected I noticed his blonde hair falling very carefully on his forehead, definitely styled like that, finding the longer strands in the back interesting. Not many dared going for a mullet, but this man looked spectacular with it.

“Are you alright?” His sudden change of demeanor, the softness in his gaze, the worry lacing his tone, took me off guard and I gaped at him for a few seconds, looking dumb.

“Oh—I’m—uhm—” I cleared my throat and shook my head as my cheeks turned pink, embarrassed, “I’m fine—uhm, thank you for—making him leave.”

“I’ve been watching you for a while now, things seemed tense, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you.” I felt my skin warm up at his words, finding it sweet. But how did I not notice somebody was watching us so closely? I was always good at singling people out, checking my surroundings and being alert of what was happening around me. Yet this man somehow managed to slip through unnoticed.

“Thank you,” I breathed out softly, finally gathering myself and continuing with my new plan, “He was—he’s not a bad man, you know…or so I thought.”

The stranger’s lips pulled into a line and he nodded understandingly, motioning with his hand for us to sit down, “Yeah, people can be quite deceiving—”

“You’re calling me dumb too?” I sniffed, lips quivering and the man quickly shook his head, eyes widening in panic.

“No, that’s really not what I’m trying to say!” He rushed out the words, looking rather cute, “I’m just saying that there’s evil people and they pray on innocent, unassuming people—”

“Like myself.” I finished the sentence for him and the man sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His earrings were rather pretty as I had just noticed them, he had quite a few of those too.

“Sorry, that came off rather rude—”

“Can I buy you something?” I cut the man off, wiping my cheeks free of tears and shaking my head, acting as if I was trying to compose myself, “You did save me from that asshole after all.”

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need anything—”

“But that’s unfair now…” I stared at him expectantly, waiting for a name.

“Hongjoong, Kim Hongjoong.” He extended his hand and I shook it firmly, whispering his name to myself, watching as his eyes fell on my lips for a second too long.

“Lee Y/N, nice to meet you.” I plastered on a small smile on my face, not releasing Hongjoong’s hand just yet. It was a trick which often worked on men, prolonged physical contact, a gaze lingering for a little too long…they always worked. And it was working right now as Hongjoong cleared his throat, looking a little flustered, as I finally released his hand and looked away shyly, letting my strawberry blonde hair fall against my face. I could see from the corner of my eye as Hongjoong’s eyes racked over my body, taking in my outfit and appearance, his eyes narrowing slightly. I certainly wasn’t dressed like an ordinary girl, but nobody ever truly figured out that I was a pirate. The clues were there, but they weren’t exactly obvious, one would think it was a preference to dress like this. And it really was. My black skirt, quite uneven at the ends, almost reached my ankles and my dark brown boots made of leather were rather worn at this point. The black cloth wrapped around my body was slightly peeking out from underneath the white off-shoulders breezy shirt I was wearing, a brown corset keeping everything in place. I had my favorite necklaces around my neck, always wearing them, but I dialed down on the bracelets I would normally wear. Rings weren’t something I liked wearing as I felt they restricted my grip when it came to holding a sword or dagger, however, they happened to come in quite handy when having to punch someone, the accessory leaving a rather nasty bruise on your opponent. The silence stretched on as Hongjoong placed his hands on the table, fingers intertwined and I couldn’t help but let my eyes fall on them. Hongjoong noticed and raised an eyebrow cheekily.

“You’re wearing quite a few rings…” I muttered, actually feeling embarrassed for being caught staring. My reaction made Hongjoong chuckle as he looked down at his own fingers, playing with the biggest ring on his forefinger. Something was carved on it, a letter.

“Personal preference, I guess.” Hongjoong said with a shrug and I hummed, noticing the waitress walking our way. I raised my hand shyly, avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes as he watched me curiously.

“How can I help you?” The waitress asked bored until she noticed Hongjoong sitting with me, her posture instantly straightening. I could understand, he was a very attractive man and he looked very upkept, something rare when it came to men. Most of them very dirty, smelly pigs. Even some of the rich ones.

“A bottle of wine would suffice for now.” I said, voice rather tight when this woman didn’t stop looking at Hongjoong, who seemed to be enjoying the attention. He smirked at her and cleared his throat, slightly tilting his head forward as if he was greeting her. My jaw clenched at the exchange and I had to hold back my glare as this woman was stealing the attention off of me, ruining my carefully designed plan. I had to be Hongjoong’s center of attention tonight, not anyone else.

“And some booze.” Hongjoong added with a wink as the waitress was just about to leave and I licked my dry lips, trying to keep a sneer off my face. This was ridiculous. When the woman was finally away, Hongjoong’s dark eyes fell on me, looking quite pleased with himself. It almost made me scoff but I quickly slipped back into character and looked away shyly, nervously playing with my fingers in my lap.

“You have that affect on all women?” I found myself asking quietly, actually curious. He could get anyone he wanted, and he definitely used that to his advantage, I wanted a confirmation in order to know how to approach him.

Hongjoong chuckled, almost sounding embarrassed, as he rubbed his chin, “You noticed?”

“It wasn’t hard to.” My response was too quick, too snappy, Hongjoong noticed too, so I cleared my throat and softened my voice again, “I’m just observant.”

“That’s good in a world like ours,” Hongjoong hummed, searching for eye contact with his intense gaze, “and yes, I tend to get that reaction when it comes to women.”

I chuckled softly, tucking a long strand of hair behind my ear, “It’s not very surprising since you’re a handsome man.”

A smirk appeared on Hongjoong lips as he leaned closer towards me, looking at me playfully, “Do you think I’m handsome?”

Before I could answer him, the waitress was back with our drinks, her eyes on Hongjoong only. I ignored her and took the tall glass for my wine roughly, making her glance at me surprised, another smirk appearing on Hongjoong’s lips. It was becoming irritating, the fact that he knew himself so well, the fact that he was using it on others.

“Thank you.” Hongjoong thanked the waitress and I didn’t miss the brush of his pinky finger against the woman’s hand and perhaps my grip on the wine bottle was a little too tight. If she wouldn’t leave in two seconds a dagger would be adorning the inside of her neck. But as I poured some wine for myself, she was finally gone and I could relax again, ignoring the amused look Hongjoong sent my way as he took a big sip of his booze. It was a vile thing; I did not like it. Wine was raffinate and came in various tastes, besides it was good for your health too unlike that strong, repulsive thing Hongjoong was drinking.

“You don’t like booze?” He asked with a chuckle and I fixed my expression, shaking my head as I took a sip of my own red wine, “Your grimace told me all about it.”

I chuckled shyly and looked down, finding it hard to act different in front of this man. My true nature wanted to come through badly, sensing he was a strong person, challenging my own ego.

“What brings you here tonight, Kim Hongjoong?” I asked with a smile, breaking the silence which seemed to fall upon us, his sharp eyes watching me carefully. I felt like I was performing an important task and a figure of authority was here to evaluate me, criticize me for the work I had done. And if I slipped, if I did the smallest mistake, he would notice. Hongjoong would know it was all an act, my fingers itching to steal all of that pricey jewelry adorning his body. If I wouldn’t get that emerald necklace from Juyeon anymore, I sure needed to get something else and the provider was sitting right in front of me.

“Just needed a distraction, you know.” He answered casually, taking a sip of his booze before he placed the glass back down, “It gets lonely when you’re a traveler sometimes. You know, you become stiff and I’m still young. I want to live a little.”

His story didn’t sound very authentic, the way he delivered it seemed very rehearsed and the way he averted his gaze told me he was lying. But I hummed and nodded understandingly, looking at my glass. The way he said traveler…didn’t sit right with me. What was he?

“Do you work, Hongjoong?” I asked curiously, watching the way he oh so slightly stiffened. There it was, I caught onto his lie.

“When I find something worth my time, yeah.” It was an ambiguous answer, “I get bored easily and I’m good at many things, so, there’s no reason for me to settle on one thing, you know?”

“Must be nice to have that luxury.” I chuckled and took a sip of my wine, our gazes connecting for a second before I looked away.

“What’s your story, Y/N?” Hongjoong asked as he leaned over the table, elbows resting on it, his hands pushed towards me as he held the glass, playing with it. I fixed my expression and smiled sadly, looking him in the eyes, having been waiting for this moment. I had just the perfect story for him.

“Well,” I shrugged and hesitated for a second, “my grandparents live here and I moved in with them when I was ten, so, there’s that. All my life I wished to study and travel the world, become a cartographer but my grandparents didn’t have the financial support for that nor the will to encourage my dream. They are traditional, you know, a woman belongs in the kitchen, inside the house and her only job should be to give birth to many kids. I didn’t want that, so I ran away, but quickly realized I had nothing so I had to return—”

I cleared my throat and blinked the tears away, watching as Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed at my pathetic and sob, fake, story, “It’s embarrassing, really, but I started mingling with the wrong people. I just want to find love, you know. True love. And it’s very hard because I’m past that age and no man wants me anymore…so, I—I suffice with whatever I find, you know. I thought, I really thought this time that Juyeon was the love of my life, but he lied to me. I didn’t even know he was married until tonight. I’m so ashamed. What if his wife found out? What if the people find out? What will be made of me—”

I hiccupped as a stray tear ran down my cheek and suddenly, big and warm palms wrapped around my hands, Hongjoong’s gaze melting into mine, “Hey, calm down.”

His voice had softened a big amount, he was talking quietly, reassuringly, “You’re not too old and nobody will say anything about you. Don’t let anyone get to you, Y/N, you’re your own master and you’re capable of anything you put your mind to, alright? And you’re too pretty to die alone, so, stop worrying about that.”

“You think I’m pretty?” I asked with a small smile as I suddenly flipped my palms and intertwined my fingers with Hongjoong’s, his eyes falling on them. He gulped and shook his head with a smirk, looking back up in my eyes.

“Yeah, I think you’re very pretty.” The flush on my cheeks wasn’t from the wine, nor was it fake, I actually blushed. I couldn’t help but smile wider at him, my stomach doing weird flips as his calloused fingers suddenly started rubbing my knuckles slowly, his eyes narrowing just slightly. He was too handsome and he knew too damn well what he was doing, it was dangerous. I could feel the wine seeping inside my system already, the room around us slightly hazy. If I wasn’t careful enough I’d become drunk, and then, my plan wouldn’t be carried out, only a mistake would be done. And I couldn’t let that happen. Not tonight.

So, I averted my eyes and pressed my finger against the biggest ring he owned, with the letter A engraved in it, I could see it now, “This one’s really pretty.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow as I looked at him through my eyelashes and he gulped, lightly pulling his hands away, the warmth disappear with him. He gave me a glance before he slipped his ring off, pushing it towards me on the surface of the table. My eyes widened as I looked at the ring then at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“You can take it for the night.” He muttered lowly, his eyes slightly darkening as I bit my lower lip, trying to fight my imagination from running wild because of the implication in his words. I took the ring and slipped it onto my middle finger, a little big for me, but its weight a reminder to never lose it. It seemed important as I inspected it, feeling something engraved in the inside of it too, making a mental note to look at that later.

            As time passed, more drinks settled on our table than empty bottles were taken away, our systems infusing with the alcohol we kept downing as if it were water. Sometime ago, my head started spinning, the room a bit hazy if I tried looking around, making me realize I have drunk more than enough, walking on the thin line of being tipsy or drunk. But I dialed down on the strong drinks, opted for water for half an hour now, slightly feeling better. The line of boundaries seemed to have blurred a long time ago too as Hongjoong was basically all over me, laughing loudly at almost everything I said as he wouldn’t stop drinking his booze, which I had secretly swapped with water ten minutes ago. He had yet to notice, too caught up in the story he tried telling for the second time. He was hilarious and as the alcohol loosened him up, he stopped being so intimidating, his intense gaze lightening, cat-like eyes smiling at me each time we locked eyes. I tried to stop myself, but it was futile, as Hongjoong’s hand would grip my thigh quite frequently, holding onto it before he would gesture with his hands again, and I couldn’t help but heat up, stomach flipping at each unintentional touch. Or perhaps it was intentional…it probably was as Hongjoong’s head dipped lower, lips grazing against the shell of my ear, making me freeze.

“Please don’t tell me you’re actually interested in whatever bullshit story I’ve been telling you for the past hour.” His words took me off guard and my mind instantly went to the worst-case scenario. He figured out that I was a pirate and I planned on robbing him, but when suddenly his hand was on my thigh again, a lot higher than before, and squeezing firmly, I couldn’t find my words nor any cohering thoughts, “Because I know you’ve switched my booze with water, Y/N, and quite frankly I’m bored of sitting here and entertaining you like this.”

All I could do was gulp and stare at the wall, trying not to shudder when his finger started rubbing circles into my thigh, “Then—then how else—could you entertain me?”

A beat of silence passed between us as I pulled my head back, our gazes connecting as Hongjoong leaned incredibly close, his lips ghosting over mine, breath fanning my face, “Fucking you sounds a lot better than sitting here and pretending we’re interested in what the other one has to say.”

I couldn’t help but let out a breath in disbelief, body lightly shaking as I felt like I was electrocuted, feeling hot all over and mind reeling. This really wasn’t going according to my plan, all I had to do was steal his shit once he got wasted, but his words awakened the want I’ve been trying to repress ever since my eyes fell on him. All softness was gone from his deep eyes, staring at me like he wanted to devour me right then and there, in front of everyone. I bit my lip at the thought and Hongjoong’s eyes fell on them, his nose twitching as he licked his own lips, yet didn’t move an inch. It felt like torture, being so close, yet he felt so far away. I probably should’ve refused him and walked out of that Inn, but I didn’t. My body didn’t want me to leave, my brain was screaming at me to let him have his way with me. I was tipsy, yet I felt so hyperaware of everything around me, of his grip burning my skin, his eyes undressing me and his lips so close they were almost touching.

“What are you waiting for?” I managed to whisper out as Hongjoong smirked once my words got to his brain, his hand disappearing like lightning from my thigh, chair pushed back as he was up on his feet. I couldn’t even blink as a grip on my forearm pulled me up and I was led away from the bar area, rushed towards the stairs. We haven’t paid for our drinks yet, but it seemed like nobody really cared as we disappeared up the stairs, Hongjoong almost running, tugging me along. It was a little bit funny and I couldn’t help but giggle as Hongjoong tried opening all the doors until he finally found an empty room, throwing me a cheeky smile as he walked us inside, door slamming shut quickly. We didn’t have a key, but we didn’t need one. It didn’t seem like we’d take too long either way as Hongjoong started unbuttoning his black vest, stare pinning me against my spot. I mirrored him and started undoing the lace of my corset, making Hongjoong’s eyes wander down my torso, gulping as I got rid of the piece of clothing, letting it fall next to me on the floor. Hongjoong’s vest was abandoned and he undid the buttons of his white shirt messily, hissing when his fingers wouldn’t work as he wished, making me chuckle. I didn’t bother unbuttoning my shirt, just raised it overhead, making Hongjoong bite his lip as he took my body in. I gripped the skirt on both sides of my hips before pushing it down, remaining in nothing but my underwear, stockings, and the black cloth wrapped around my torso providing warmth and restricting my breasts from getting in my way. I preferred it that way, men took you more seriously when your breasts weren’t hanging in their faces. Hongjoong was about to undo the belt on his pants when his eyes fell on me once again and he sucked in a harsh breath, abandoning his initial actions. He stalked towards me, eyes never leaving mine, until he was all up in my face, warmth radiating off his body. I almost stepped back, intimidated by his proximity, but I stood my ground and stared him down, waiting for him to make the first step, but he didn’t. He was teasing me as he smirked, eyes running over my face, chuckling before I felt his hands on my waist, gripping me, pulling me flushed against his firm body. I gasped as his warmth enveloped mine, his naked torso gaining my attention as I looked down, taking in the muscles of his tanned skin, his chest very well worked. Our eyes connected once again and no more precious seconds were waisted as our lips crashed against each other, not soft at all as they moved against each other vigorously, trying to settle for a satisfying pace, but nothing was good enough as we devoured each other hungrily, whining into the kiss when Hongjoong’s fingers dug into my skin, pressing against my hip bones. My hands explored his naked torso, dragging and pressing against his burning skin, trying to feel each muscle as Hongjoong walked me backwards until my back hit the wall, caging me against it with his strong arms.

My hands explored his back and I scratched down his scapula’s with my nails, earning a groan from him as he bit my lower lip, pulling back breathlessly, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I wasted no more time and started undoing the belt of his pants, Hongjoong’s lips finding my neck as he started pressing slow, sensual, kisses down to my collarbones, where he sucked on the skin harshly, earning a hiss from me as I pushed his head slightly back, glaring at him. I didn’t want any type of marks on my body left by him, or anyone else, but it seemed like Hongjoong was rather amused as he grabbed the back of my head and licked my lips, taunting me, my glare deepening as I tugged harshly against his belt, our bodies colliding again. That seemed to wipe off the amused smirk of his face as I slowly, teasingly, undid the lace of his pants, not quite pushing it off his hips. Hongjoong watched me as I smirked this time and sneaked my hand inside his pants, lightly brushing against his member, surprised that he wore no underwear. It was daring. Hongjoong groaned as my fingers lightly grazed the tip and he pressed his lips against mine again as I took a hold of his member, slowly pumping it. His kiss was messy, our teeth clanking together, as Hongjoong moved his hips, thrusting into my hand wrapped around him, whining when I squeezed down on it and fastened the pace. He pressed a short kiss after kiss against my lips, muttering profanities against my lips as his eyebrows furrowed, bucking up faster as I settled on a fast pace, his whimpers getting throaty and until he started whispering for me to stop, biting my earlobe when I didn’t listen to him.

“Stop, I’m so close—” He snapped against my ear, grabbing my throat harshly, making my breath hitch as his sounds and ministrations got to me, body feeling hot as I slowed the pace of my hand, Hongjoong freezing, his member twitching. He was panting as he pulled back to look at me, my lips parted in anticipation and suddenly I felt his thumb moving against my neck, until it was pressing against my chin, then my lower lip, parting my lips more for him. I couldn’t breathe as we held eye contact, his thumb finally slipping inside my mouth, my lips latching around it, ever so slowly starting to suck on it. His pupils were blown wide, lips parted in pleasure before his jaw clenched, eyes never leaving mine as I swirled my tongue around his thumb, his hips bucking into my hand once again.

“Fuck.” He spat before grabbing my wrist with his other hand, pulling it out of his pants, giving me a warning glare about touching him again as he started pushing his own pants down, my lips still wrapped around his thumb, sucking and licking it. I couldn’t help but grin as he moaned quietly and pulled his thumb out of my mouth, pants pooling around his ankles. Standing naked in front of me, the man was gorgeous. His tan skin glistened with light sweat, body flushed and pupils blown wide as he found the top of my stockings before he yanked them down, pulling my underwear off too in the process. I gasped as the coldness hit the lower half of my body and his thigh was pressed between my legs, making me gulp as his lips found my neck again. He started licking at the skin, eliciting a sigh as his thigh flexed against me and with a hand firmly placed against my hips, he rolled them forward, the friction making my breathing stutter for a second. My nerves felt on fire as I allowed Hongjoong to set the pace, one which was incredibly slow, making the hairs on my arms stand as it felt torturous. I needed more, something faster, but Hongjoong hissed when I tried to move on my own, making me whine loudly as he chuckled against the skin of my neck. I didn’t even notice it when he bit down on my skin, too focused on the burning of my lower region, clenching around nothing as I was starting to grow relentless, desperate. His teeth pierced my skin and I moaned as Hongjoong finally quickened the pace, juices coating his muscular thigh as I threw my head back, the friction finally enough. But it didn’t last for long as his thigh was gone and lips too, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him confused, only to feel his strong hands gripping my thighs before I was hoisted up, legs wrapping around his hips firmly as his member pocked at my entrance.

“Please.” I whispered as I looked at Hongjoong, running my fingers through his hair until I gripped the end tightly, yanking our heads close together. Hongjoong bit my lower lip as I felt his tip pushing against my entrance and I gasped as he finally pushed inside, his length stretching my walls like no one’s before. My back was flushed against the wall as Hongjoong leaned into me, setting a pace before he was even fully in, not quite fast nor slow, just right at the moment. I tried to stay silent with each one of his strong thrusts, but it was rather difficult as he was sharp, starting to quicken the pace. My head was thrown back against the wall, lips parted as quiet moans started escaping, Hongjoong’s lips brushing my Adam’s apple as he was panting, body crushing mine as if our closeness wasn’t enough already. My senses were heightened and it felt like pure bliss as he finally set a faster pace, the pitch of my voice raising as I felt Hongjoong’s eyes on my face, his lips red and plump from all the kissing and biting. My fingers tightened in his hair more, making him gasp lightly as suddenly my chin was gripped harshly, yanking my head down. His lips crashed against mine and his tongue was in my mouth, licking at my teeth, exploring my mouth like his life depended on it. I started meeting his thrusts, but it still wasn’t enough, I needed more as my release was building up, but not quite there yet. Hongjoong whined into my mouth as I clenched around him and I pulled back, gripping his cheeks as we gazed into each other’s eyes.

“I need more.” I whispered breathless and Hongjoong nodded, suddenly pushing all the way in, his movements ceasing. It felt torturous as my body burned, yearning for more, needing to release soon all the built-up tension. He let out the quietest breath when I clenched around him again, lightly trying to move my hips, but his bigger body had me mobilized between himself and the wall. This was not my idea of more, and before I could complain about it, he held me firmly against himself and suddenly pulled me off the wall, turning and walking towards the bed. I held onto him tightly, arms around his neck as I started leaving kisses behind his ear, making his member twitch inside me, grinning against his skin. Hongjoong groaned when he felt it and for a second I was falling backwards, back placed carefully against a soft surface. The bedsheets were cold and I shivered as I looked up at Hongjoong, who was looking down at me with a different glint in his eyes. It looked like adoration, almost, and it made me gulp nervously. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything towards him, he was simply my prey and I was playing my part in the game he started by approaching me when I was still with Juyeon. He still didn’t move as he leaned down, and suddenly it felt too intimate as his lips pressed softly against mine, the kiss slow like never before, lips moving against mine in a tender manner, heating up the skin of my face. It made me feel guilty all of a sudden, how unassuming he was; I’ve never ever felt bad before for one of my victims. As he went to pull back, I gripped his cheeks and pulled him back down, placing a newfound passion into my kiss, tongue slipping into his mouth as he slowly started moving his hips again, the movement drawn out, sensual. It elicited a moan instantly from my lips, and Hongjoong took my left hand and intertwined our fingers as he pressed it down next to my head. My other hand tangled in the long strands of his hair as his free one found my hips and suddenly, his pace became vicious, restless as he started pounding into me, toes curling and head thrown back as moan after moan slipped from my lips. My legs hooked around his hips and I met his thrusts, his finger painfully pushing into the ring he gave me, a reminder that I was still wearing it. Hongjoong’s moans mixed with mine as I started clenching around him, so so close to finishing, and when his thumb brushed against my clit I was gone for, eyes rolling back as I came undone, the sensations overwhelming as he rode out my high with me before pulling out and with a few strokes to his dick finishing on my stomach.

I was still panting, coming down from the high as I stared at the ceiling, body flushed and Hongjoong’s hand in mine screaming at me that I couldn’t let my feelings get to me right now. Not tonight. Suddenly, his eyes found mine and he smiled as he leaned down, pressing a kiss against my forehead, making my eyebrows furrow as he finally got off me, my body shivering at the sudden coldness wrapping around me. I watched him as he looked around in the room before finding a towel and walking back to me, cleaning me up and muttering a small sorry, as if pulling out wasn’t smarter than finishing inside of me. But I remained silent and allowed him to pull me up in a sitting position as we stared down each other, seemingly not knowing what to do next. The drunken haze was somewhat gone from his eyes, signaling that he was perhaps just tipsy now, if not sober. Robbing him right now would be too difficult, so I opted for the last resort I had on me as a backup plan. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards me as I crawled back, laying down, making him lay down next to me. Hongjoong smiled and brushed the hair out of my eyes as we lay facing each other, smiling. My stomach dropped a little bit, but I ignored the sensation and focused on how much I was blushing as Hongjoong caressed my cheek and giggled as if I said something funny, making me raise my eyebrows at him but he just shook his head.

“Where are you from?” He asked quietly as he played with my hair and I sighed, not wanting to give away too much, but finding the moment so intimate that all of my walls were down, something which rarely happened.

“The North.” I whispered and looked away, not quite wanting to see his reaction. The North Kingdom was known for being rather ruthless and its people cold and barbaric. And it was all true. We really were that way. Our rules were strict and demanded to be followed, if anyone dared disobey them they would certainly face a painful death. We didn’t beat around the bush and were straight-up people. Many didn’t like the lifestyle, however, and found refuge in the neighboring Kingdoms, yet I found peace in the stern rules, in the familiar routine. If everything was so chaotic like in the rest of the Kingdoms, especially the South, how could people easily fall asleep? How would they not worry about what they’d do tomorrow? Nothing was certain and I couldn’t live with that. Sometimes I’d get homesick and we’d return home, but we weren’t exactly welcomed anymore. Our land didn’t treat the defectors kindly, once word got around you’d get shone away in best case scenario. And my parents knew what I was, a pirate. They would never welcome me back inside their house, their only child was a menace to society, a shame on the Lee family’s name. I wouldn’t be surprised if they told everyone I had died in the war we got deflected to so many years ago when I was just a child. The southern islands of our Kingdom always fought back against our harsh rules and demanded lesser sentences, but the Queen wasn’t having it. Therefore a war broke out between the mainland and southern islands which lasted for three years, our Queen giving in to her people, and giving them partially the freedom they wished for.

“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Hongjoong’s quiet voice brought me back from my thoughts, eyebrows raising slightly as I hadn’t heard what he said previously, “Being from the North, I mean. I have a friend who’s the nicest and most caring sailor I have ever known, and he’s strong too. Stereotypes exist, but it doesn’t mean you are just like them.”

I gulped and found myself slightly smiling at Hongjoong, his comforting words surprising. He didn’t seem like the type who cared much about others feelings up until now.

“We feel deeply, but we don’t like showing it to others…we see it as a burden, you know?” I found myself explaining it to Hongjoong and he hummed, caressing my cheek again with a fond smile.

“I know, my friend said the same thing.” He chuckled and I buried my head in the pillow, trying to hide my big smile, ignoring my brain screaming at me that I wasn’t following the plan at all. Sometimes it felt nice letting the heart get what it wanted.

“Do you happen to be obsessed with mermaids as well?” I pulled my head away from the pillow and looked at Hongjoong with raised eyebrows as I shook my head, “Ah, thought everyone was obsessed with it from your little Kingdom—”

“The Sun Set Kingdom is the smallest.” I narrowed my eyes at Hongjoong and he chuckled, amused by how triggered I got. Yes, the north was small but the island surrounding it made it larger than the Sun Set Kingdom, so it was unfair we got called the smallest kingdom, “And yes, my people are quite the believers when it comes to folklore, but I guess it depends on your upbringing too.” And my parents believed in nothing divine, calling it a waste of time as no Gods could help, only you could help yourself.

“I’m from the Sun Rise Kingdom.” Hongjoong muttered with a sigh, turning onto his back, hands behind his head, “I guess we’re both far away from home.”

I hummed and turned on my back too, eyes surveying the dark room, finding some water and glasses on a dresser. I cleared my throat and sat up, the weight of Hongjoong’s ring on my finger quite distracting as I walked towards the dresser. I could feel Hongjoong’s eyes on me as I poured water for the both of us, slipping some white powder from one of my necklaces into the left glass. I waited for it to dissolve before I turned around, sipping from my own glass as I walked towards Hongjoong. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and accepted the glass of water with gratitude.

“May I ask why are you wearing that?” He asked as he gulped down his water, eyes on the black cloth wrapped tightly around my body. I smiled and sat down, taking his empty glass and placing it on the floor.

“Well, I guess it’s for hiding my feminine figure?” I shrugged, finishing my glass of water, “Some of the jobs I do aren’t very female friendly and I can pass as a boy if I wear the right clothing with this, you know?”

“Nobody as pretty as you would pass as a boy.” Hongjoong chuckled and I rolled my eyes embarrassed.

“Trust me, I can camouflage myself very well.”

“And what is this mystery job you have?” I pursed my lips and watched as his blinks got longer, eyelids heavier and heavier. The amount of powder I slipped in his water would knock him out any minute now.

I chuckled and watched as Hongjoong tried lifting his arms, futile, “I’m a con-artist, let’s say.”

His eyes found mine but he didn’t say anything as his breathing slowed, eyelids falling shut, lips parting as his body went numb. I smiled sadly at him and got off the bed, dressing myself back up, looking like nothing even happened. I walked to Hongjoong’s side and adjusted him in a comfortable position before pulling the blanket over him, tracing his lips with my finger. My eyes fell on the ring I was still wearing and I took it off, bringing it up to my face. I turned it and tried to see what was carved on the inside, fingers running over it. The letter A and then…teez? Ateez? I paused for a second, looking down at the sleeping man. Kim Hongjoong. The ring with the letter A carved on it. Ateez carved inside of it. My eyes widened as I almost dropped the ring, looking at Hongjoong with slight fear pulsing through my veins. Had I just slept with The Slayer? The captain of the Ateez pirate crew? Oh, this was a turn of events even in my wildest dreams I wouldn’t have expected to happen. I looked around the room, hurrying to grab Hongjoong’s pants in search of gold or money. He did have a few coins on him, a lot less than I was expecting. I hissed as I looked back at the man and at the ring in my hand before I walked over and placed it on top of the pillow where I was supposed to be sleeping. But as I was about to leave, the black pearl necklace around his pretty neck caught my attention and I didn’t stop myself from taking what I wanted. I carefully took it off him and placed it around my own neck, staring down at it in awe. I’ve always wanted a pearl necklace, but they were too expensive and too hard to find, especially the black ones, they were rare. Without another glance at the man sleeping in the bed, I walked out the door, leaving our little escapade behind me, never to mention it to anyone.

            But things were never easy, especially for women as nobody took them seriously in a highly male dominated field. Being a pirate was hard, but being a woman pirate was even harder. Nobody wanted to do business with you, nobody wanted to strike deals with you and nobody would sell you weapons. So, forced to fend for ourselves in different ways, we started robbing other ships in the middle of the night, creating a fearful reputation for ourselves while acquiring provision and munition for ourselves. Our crew and ship grew with the passing of time and as we started establishing ourselves on the market, they nicknamed us The Nightfury. Sailors and pirates alike feared us once they learned about us as we’d attack them in the middle of the sea, leaving them with nothing, assuring them a painful death if they didn’t get to land in three days. And they usually didn’t. We tried not to be harsh, but we were forced by the men around us. They thought they could do anything to us without facing repercussions, and so that had to be proven wrong by us. And despite becoming quite successful in the past four years, there was still a thorn in our side. Ateez. The most feared pirate crew of the four seas and four kingdoms. No matter where we went, they had been there just before us, wreaking havoc and leaving nothing behind, nothing for us to find. And that just wouldn’t do anymore. I’ve had enough of always getting their sloppy seconds, so I devised a new plan. One which was working marvelously. Thanks to my extraordinary acting talent, I managed to charm a few of their investors and merchants into giving us their goods for a slightly lower price and still taxing Ateez with their old price while selling them second-made goods, sometimes even fake ones. Irene, my second in hand, had warned me that it wouldn’t be long until the notorious pirate crew caught on to our scams, but I opted not to listen to her. I had fooled Kim Hongjoong once, who would say I couldn’t do it twice? And so I did, so blatantly out in the open, right under his nose. He was always so close, yet never close enough to catch us. He even sent assassins our way, sent his most loyal dog Choi San, but all the damage he managed to do was stab a very humanlike looking pillow and blanket laying in a bed, on the highest floor of the Inn I supposedly resided in. Joy and I sipped on our drinks as we watched him from the window from across the Inn, laughing when he looked around in confusion, realizing he had been fooled. Choi San never made mistakes, yet here he was, outsmarted by two playful women, who played these eight fools as if they were their own puppets. Joy and I clanked our glasses together before downing our wine, turning back to the real deal we had to focus on, the two rich men tied up with tons of money falling out of their pockets. Ah, we had quite the productive night that evening. But what I failed to realize, despite Irene’s frequent warning, was that once someone made Kim Hongjoong furious, they would end up facing his wrath. And when that happened, it would hurt. A lot. But I felt comfortable, too safe, unknowing that he was gaining advantage on me minute by minute. But I started this dangerous game, and the inciter never backed down.

            Present time

            There was something different about the Sun Rise Kingdom. The air itself felt warmer, the wind never too harsh, the soil softer than anywhere else. You would never smell anything foul, not even at the markets, and the people were always smiling. Always so nice, and always so trusting. I had to say, they were the most gullible and unfortunately, they were our easiest prey. I loved the Sun Rise Kingdom, not because of how easy we had it here, but because everything was so inviting, so accepting. In the past four years our crew grew significantly big and people recognized us. Our faces were plastered everywhere in the Sun Set Kingdom on wanted posters, constables constantly trying to catch us. They seemed to hate us the most out of all the Kingdoms and, perhaps, I couldn’t blame them as once we accidentally almost burned down the only inhibited island they happen to have. It was an accident, of course, we aren’t cruel like that, but they wouldn’t understand that no matter how many times we’d try explaining it to them. After realizing that it was futile making peace with them, we soon started giving up on that Kingdom, closing our deals with the merchants, keeping only our most important investors. This came in quite handy for Ateez, of course, as they got richer and richer, taking away one of our most important ammunition resource’s. But my crew was very talented and cunning, we managed to smuggle a few guns still from them, a spy who owed her life to me always lurking in the shadows, helping us out whenever we needed something important from over there.

We had arrived to the Sun Rise Kingdom a week ago and treated it as a little vacation as all of us had been tired from restlessly sailing the seas, almost losing our lives when a storm hit us while we were traveling through the Raging Sea. It was a bad idea sailing through it, but we’ve done it before and were lucky enough to avoid any storms, our navigator, Wendy, rather talented at her job. Everything was going smoothly so far, no run ins with the constables, nobody bothered us for the most part, a merchant even offered a good deal for us upon hearing we were in town, and the men in this bustling town were rather good looking, pockets and pouches heavy with coins. It truly felt like we were on a resort, finally enjoying our lives for a little bit, young and hungry for more. But our safe heaven didn’t last for long as two days ago Irene came barging inside my room as I was reading through a letter Siwon, an older smuggler from the Sun Set Kingdom, had sent a week ago. He found some ancient looking jewelry and he wanted to make sure they were authentic before selling them, offering to give us half of the payment if I helped him out. Greed was a bad thing, but I wouldn’t turn down such a nice offer.

The door to my room was slammed open, crashing into the wall harshly as I jumped up from my seat with a wildly beating heart, “They are here!”

I watched my second-in-command, Irene, pant as her long black hair fell in her eyes, “Who are here?”

I watched her with a confused expression as I placed a palm over my racing heart, giving her a small glare for scaring the living daylight out of me. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me like I was crazy.

“Ateez!” Her normally quiet voice turned shrill as it rose a few octaves, her normally composed nature completely disappearing. Ateez. My jaw clenched as I leaned against my desk, huffing.

“Of course they are here,” I muttered, as Irene stepped inside my room and hastily closed the door behind her, “I can never rest for too long, can I?”

“This is bad.” Irene said gravelly as she started pacing around my room, “You know this is bad, Y/N, we must leave. Right now. If they find out where we reside, you know they will come after us—”

“Will you relax for a second?!” I snapped, Irene’s anxiety rubbing off on me as I threw her a glare, sitting back down in my chair, “We’re supposed to be leaving in three days if we want to get to the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks.”

“What?” Irene’s eyebrows furrowed as she neared me, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, “Sun Set Kingdom—what are you talking about?”

I smiled at her confusion, her eyebrows scrunching up, her intimidating face looking rather cute as I grabbed the letter from Siwon and handed it to her. She took it and read it quickly, sighing as she looked back at me. I could read the exhaustion in her eyes, almost pleading to stay put for a little longer. We were supposed to go up North for a while, visit her family as they hadn’t given up on their daughter like mine have. Irene was homesick, and so was I, but this…this would be big. Siwon giving us half of the payment meant we could lay low for at least half a year, find a nice spot somewhere and just live quietly, rest. All of us wanted that, after all, the crew has worked hard to get to where we were now.

“Please,” Irene’s voice lowered, the letter clutched tightly between her fingers, “do we really need to go? It’s Siwon, you know he’s not trustworthy. He fucked us over last time too, Y/N, shouldn’t you think this through first?”

I shook my head and took the letter from her, turning to face my desk as I had readied to write back to Siwon before Irene came barging inside my room, “We could be free for half a year, Irene, if we do this. Jewels are our forte and he knows that, that’s why he’s asking for our help. I promise to head up North straight afterwards—”

“And sail through the Icy Sea?” Irene tsked and gave me a look, “No.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at her, “What do you mean, no?”

“You heard me right,” Her voice turned serious and her expression hardened. I knew what was coming, “I’m your second-in-command and I refuse to go to the Sun Set Kingdom. I refuse to sail through the Icy Sea.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing that she meant none of that, “Go find yourself a different crew then.”

I turned to grab my pen as I was smacked hard across the back of my head, making me let out a loud yelp, whipping my head around to glare at Irene, “You bitch—”

“Shut up,” Irene snapped, leaning down to be eye level with me, “I don’t know why I keep putting up with you, but for once in your fucking life, listen to me. Ateez is in the same town with us, Y/N, and Hongjoong wants you dead. We have to leave.”

I just smiled at Irene and placed a hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly, “And how many times did he already try to kill me? Don’t worry, we’re safe—I’m safe. Tell the other girls we’re leaving in three days to meet with Siwon. And then we head to the North, through the Barren Sea.”

Irene sighed loudly as she shook her head at me, but I knew she was thankful for at least avoiding the Icy Sea. She hated that place; it took her brother’s life when they were only children. We’d have to sail a lot more if we wanted to go through the Barren Sea, but I’d do anything for Irene to make her feel safe. She was my second-in-command after all, I did have to respect her requests and opinions. And as a dear friend to her, I didn’t want to antagonize her too much if I could. I smiled at her brightly, and she rolled her eyes as she straightened and pulled her hand away from mine, headed for the door, throwing me a small glare before she was out the room, making me chuckle to myself as I picked up my pen, ready to write back to Siwon.

            But there was a reason why Irene was my second-in-command. I was brazen and most of times didn’t think things through, meanwhile she was calculated and very smart, taking every possible outcome into consideration before proceeding with her actions. This was a prime example as to why I should listen to her more often, but one doesn’t actually learn until something very bad happens. And that very bad thing happened just the night before our departure from the lively town we resided in for the past week. Everyone was ready, getting their last peaceful sleep before we’d set off, my evening a little bit more eventful as I had found a man down at the bar and decided to charm him, because why not? We’d be setting off and wouldn’t be around men for a long time. It was nothing too impressive, but he got the job done and I even managed to steal his pricey looking wristwatch. Ever since sleeping with Hongjoong, nobody seemed to be as good as him. It’s like he altered something inside of me so that I’d never find true pleasure and satisfaction in other men. It happened four years ago, yet I could still recall that night as if it had happened just yesterday. It was infuriating and frustrating to have someone always in the back of your mind, especially when that someone hated you and wanted you dead. I couldn’t lie, I felt quite resentful towards him as well, our feud throughout the years making me wish I could slice his neck with a dagger. But we never saw each other since that night, his dirty work carried out by someone else for him, however, I didn’t bother doing the same, knowing very well it was a lot more painful if his assets were the ones dissipating right in front of his eyes. People would call me greedy, but he wasn’t so different.

It hadn’t been long since I had settled into bed, getting comfortable as I let out a long sigh, the silky surface of the blanket soft against my skin. This bed was a lot more comfortable than the one I had on the ship and it made me ponder for a second whether I should just steal the sheets for a nicer sleep on the ship. The thought almost made me laugh as I snuggled my head against the puffy pillow, strawberry blonde hair falling over my face. My body was soft, mind slowly shutting down as I allowed myself to relax in the safety of my room. But that didn’t last for long as something hard crashed against the window and I jumped up in a sitting position, heart hammering in my chest. My eyes fell on the huge rock which sat on the wooden floor of my room and before I could really think about it, a dark head appeared outside my window. My body tensed up and I threw the covers off my body as the person climbed through the window, boots crunching against the broken glass on the floor. I grabbed the dagger off my nightstand and looked at the figure menacingly, never one to back down from a fight. It was dark, I couldn’t exactly see their face, not that it mattered much who it was. But for a second, as our gazes connected, my breath faltered and the silence around us was too loud. I could recognize those eyes anywhere. He took one step further inside the room, features more visible, clearer to see, easier to recognize. A face, which was more mature now, more defined, chiseled. My stomach dropped as I watched Hongjoong step further inside the room, looking around nonchalantly. His face was expressionless yet his eyes were harsh, and I gulped as my grip tightened on my dagger. He’s never came in person before. Always sent someone else. Irene was right, we should’ve left three days ago. I was backing towards the door when Hongjoong’s cat-like eyes settled on me again, a sinister smirk spreading onto his lips, eyes widening slightly. In the darkness of the room, he looked utterly scary. My heart was beating too fast and I found myself breathing quickly, realizing I was losing my composure. He looked stronger; his body so much more muscular, wider. Fuck.

“Lee Y/N.” He spat my name out with venom lacing his voice and I froze for a second, surprised by it. Did he really hate me this much? That wasn’t too good.

“Kim Hongjoong.” I was nonchalant, played it off. I refused to show him that I was shaken up, limbs slightly trembling from the stress. Hongjoong’s face suddenly lost all expression as he stared at me blankly, taking me in for the first time since he’s stepped inside the room. Suddenly, I felt too exposed, vulnerable, as his eyes found mine again. I was wearing nothing but my undergarment and a white shirt which was too big for my frame, the top unbuttoned, falling in a deep V-neck.

It happened fast, I almost didn’t react, as Hongjoong lurched towards me and I jumped back, eyes widening when I noticed the big knife in his hand. Oh, he came here prepared and determined. I gulped as his head slowly turned towards me; hand extended forward as he eyed my dagger. I was outpowered, he didn’t even have to disarm me for me to know. The hatred in his eyes, his ripe muscles, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins could bring my dismay tonight. But I didn’t let those thoughts get to me. If Choi San couldn’t kill me, Kim Hongjoong wouldn’t either. So, instead of waiting for him to attack again, I sprung towards him, dagger raised high as I went to stab him. He blocked the attack with his knife, instantly slicing, my skin burning where he had cut me. I gasped, taken aback, but before I could react he was moving his hand again, forcing me to defend myself as the knife cut my thigh, making me growl as I snapped my head up to glare at him. Hongjoong seemed unphased as he wiped the blood off his knife onto his pants, looking at me with a smug smirk, advancing towards me once again. I panicked for a second and sliced through the air, halting his movements, to my luck, giving me enough momentum to knock the knife out of his hand as I raised my leg, kicking his wrist. Hongjoong didn’t wince, didn’t make a sound. He just looked at his knife before taking off towards me again, making me curse to myself. He was unstoppable, he really cared about one thing only, and that was to kill me. I jabbed towards him, but he just blocked the attack and soon I found my wrist twisted, a cry leaving my lips, as my dagger clattered onto the ground. Hongjoong’s other hand raised but I quickly slapped it away and tried to free my wrist, but I couldn’t. His grip was painfully strong, making me grit my teeth as I tried punching him with my free hand, but he ducked down as if it was nothing. He was angering me. He was letting me use my energy so he’d attack when I was tired, so I stopped, and stared him down. He twisted a little more of my wrist and I almost hissed, but I bit my lip instead and refused to show any weakness. Hongjoong didn’t seem to like that as he swiftly grabbed my neck with his other hand and squeezed hard, making my eyes widen as I clawed at his hand, the air leaving my lungs quickly as I was unprepared for such an attack. And then he slammed me into the wall, knocking out all the air from my lungs, making me choke up as I tried to push him off desperately, feeling helpless as he just watched me blankly.

My lungs started to burn and I hated myself as I looked at him with a pleading look, trying to pull his hand off, but it was futile. And just as I started seeing dark spots around me, his grip loosened up and the air rushed inside my lungs furiously, making me cough as I tried to suck in as much air as possible. He had gotten incredibly strong; it was embarrassing how weak I felt right now. I was good at hand-to-hand combat, I could even fight with a sword, I have killed men twice his size, yet here I was, on the bring of passing out from how hard he was squeezing me, his grip on my wrist still there. I tried to open my mouth and say something, but my mouth felt too dry and I knew my voice would’ve been scratchy, so I just stared at him. I tensed more when suddenly he leaned incredibly close to my face, sneering.

“You’re quite helpless for someone who parades themselves around for being unbeatable.” He mocked me and I glared at him, my sneer mirroring his as I went to push his head away, but he acted faster, yanking me forward into himself. He was just as tense as I was, body firm, as he turned me around roughly, squeezing my body against his. His solid chest pressed against my back. I didn’t know what was happening, but I tried to pull away, even bit his arm, but he had no reaction as he walked us towards the vanity, bending down on the way for a second. I saw what he picked up and gulped, it was my dagger. He stopped us in front of the big mirror and I hated the way I looked. Cheeks red from fighting so hard and getting chocked, the shirt wrinkled and almost falling off my shoulder, exposing me to Hongjoong. I watched as Hongjoong looked down at my body before our gazes connected through the mirror, my chest rising and falling quickly as he removed the hair from my neck with the hand which held my dagger. He seemed eerily calm for someone who looked so murderous right now. I tried moving away again, but he positioned his arm across my chest and pushed hard against it, holding my chin firmly, exposing my neck. I wanted to ask what he was doing as I felt fear creep up my body, but I didn’t, my pride in the way.

“You should’ve just left after you fucked me, Y/N,” His breath hitting my neck sent goosebumps down my body, “You should’ve just went on with your pathetic life without ruining someone else’s, Y/N. And most importantly—you should’ve never tried to destroy Ateez.”

I scoffed and opened my mouth to jab back at him, when the dagger was suddenly painfully close to my neck, my heart hammering in my chest, “Wait—what are you—”

But the blade pushing against my skin made me almost cry out, thankfully I managed to gulp it down, as suddenly he dragged it down in a straight line. As a reflex I grabbed his arm holding me mobilized against himself, and squeezed it as hard as I could as pain shoot down from my neck to my torso, to my chest. It hurt so much as my skin split open, it felt hot and pulsing, as he dragged it down similarly again, in a different spot, close to the previous slash. I watched through the mirror as blood trickled down my neck, the smell so nauseating that all I could think about was that he was cutting so close to the artery. If he pressed down just a little bit more, I would die. I would be gone. I bit my lower lip harshly as he dragged the dagger across the already split open skin, the area numb as my body was shaking from the excruciating pain and the sight of the blood and the smell of it, from the struggle to bite down my screams and tears. I felt lightheaded as my hold slipped down to his wrist when he brought the dagger close to my skin once again, shaking my head furiously ‘no’, chest starting to shake from the cries which tried to escape through my lips. I was hyperventilating as the wounds were pulsing, hot and cold at the same time, flinching as Hongjoong blew on it as we made eye contact through the mirror. He had a deranged look on his face and he had the audacity to cackle as he leaned down, lips pressing against my ear, making me let out a quiet shudder in fear.

“You wanted what was mine?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t realize he was speaking, “Good, because from this moment on, you’re my property, Y/N. Mine. Every time you will look in the mirror, you will remember who you dared challenge, who you robbed, and turned people against. Kim Hongjoong. Captain of Ateez. The Slayer.”

I whimpered and tried to pull my head away as his lips pressed against the wound, making the burn worse, the blood still trickling down my neck, past my collarbones. I watched through the mirror as he licked my blood off his lips, body still shaking yet feeling numb at the same time. I was so cold. I wanted him to go away.

“You and your crew are mine from now on, one more slip up, Y/N, and I’ll kill Irene right in front of your eyes,” Irene, no, I felt the tears in my eyes, “and then I’ll kill each one of your crew members.”

I shook my head and suddenly he pushed me forward as I felt into the vanity, his body and grip gone from mine as I collapsed down onto the floor, body shaken by the sobs which threatened to spill out. I heard movement behind me, and when I looked back, nobody was in the room with me. Hongjoong was gone. Finally, the tears fell down my cheeks and I started crying loudly, body shaking as I forced myself to stand up, needing to see Irene. Did he hurt her? Was she alright? Did they do anything to her? And the others—Irene’s door was thrown wide open the second I was out of my room, eyes wide as she took in my form. She rushed up to me and quickly led me inside her own room, searching my body frantically for any fatal wounds, but found none. She was talking to me, asking me question, but all I could do was cry and shake my head. I couldn’t even hear her; I didn’t understand her. She realized I needed comfort and quickly hugged me, shushing me and muttering some reassuring words, eyes fixed on the wound on my neck as her own eyes filled with tears, but she remained strong for me, telling me that it would be alright. But no, it wouldn’t be alright. I wanted Hongjoong dead.

            I have never felt so intensely for someone. And they weren’t positive feelings. Once Irene managed to calm me down and clean up my wounds, which was harder than it appeared as I kept hissing and pulling my neck away from her delicate touch, she allowed me to sleep in her bed for the night, too on edge to be left alone. Irene knew the second she saw me what had happened. I didn’t have to tell her that it was Hongjoong, she knew from the look on my face. I felt partially ashamed and totally stupid for having not listened to her and for almost dying by the hands of my sworn enemy. I thought I would be fine, figuring that Hongjoong just wanted to maim me for his own pleasure, but when I looked in the mirror, the world around me silenced for a few seconds. My eyes froze on the open wound on my neck, red and raw from still being so fresh. It wasn’t small at all, screaming in your face once you looked at me, and suddenly I realized my breathing was uneven as Irene watched me with pity in her eyes, averting her gaze once my wild one fell on her. There was the letter ‘H’ carved inside my skin, forever, screaming at whoever dared look at me. I didn’t realize what I was doing until everything was thrown off my vanity, the porcelain little chests breaking, my precious jewelry falling all over the floor. The scream ripping through my throat felt painful and I could hear several footsteps rushing our way as I grabbed the same dagger Hongjoong used and raised it to my neck, making Irene yell out as she was by my side in an instant, gripping my wrist so hard my circulation was certainly cut off.

“What’s happening—” Yeri cut her own question off as her eyes settled on the scene and ran up to us, gripping my arm and forcing it away with Irene’s help, my body shaking as all I could do was stare at the wound on my neck, which would scar, Hongjoong’s initial on my body, in my body, until the day I die, until the day my flesh rots away.

“Y/N!” I could hear Yeri calling out my name again and again, until my cheeks were gripped roughly and my head was turned away from the mirror of the vanity, “Get it together!”

She was the youngest in our crew, yet the strongest, always merciless, always the first to pull the trigger, stab the enemy. She was my master-at-arms, closest to me after Irene.

Yeri’s hard eyes bore into mine and gradually I could finally breathe again, heartbeat slowing down as I gripped her arms, slowly nodding to let her know I was fine. I was fine. Nothing could hurt me. Nobody could hurt me. I was fine. Cautiously, Yeri released me and I allowed her arms to drop down next to her body as I let go of her as well, looking towards the doorway, where the rest of my closest friends and crew stood, eyes wide at the unfolding scene in front of them. That is until Joy’s eyes fell on the ugly wound on my neck, and she gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth.

“We’re leaving right now.” I spoke up, voice hard as I composed myself, pulling my hair to the front, covering the wound until Irene helped me place gauze on it, “We need to be at the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks, but before that—a pirate crew needs to learn their lesson.”

And they did learn it as in five days we found them sailing towards the South Kingdom, not too far away from their shore. We’d been on the hunt ever since we left the Sun Rise Kingdom, determined to catch a whiff of their route, Wendy having not slept for three days now as she tried to find the route Ateez was using. It was laughable how quickly and easily we found them, for having the most feared reputation, they weren’t very good at being undetected. It was late in the night when I finally spotted their ship through my binoculars and a smirk crept up onto my lips as I called out to Irene, her body tensing when she saw me. She was against getting revenge on them, but I wasn’t about to let them get away so easily. If Hongjoong could threaten me in the middle of the night, in the safety of my chamber’s, I would do the same thing. We weren’t here to kill them; we were here to warn them. Pull something like that again Hongjoong, and I will gut Seonghwa in front of your two pretty eyes before I kill off the rest of your precious companions.

“Tell Seulgi to load the cannons.” I commanded to Irene as she shook her head in disappointment before taking off towards the previously mentioned woman, “Wendy! You’ll get two days off after tonight.”

The short-haired woman grinned at me as she pulled on the sail of the main mast, the wind taking us straight towards Hongjoong’s ship. The ship was quiet, a few sailors asleep on deck as we neared them without disrupting the waters, ready at any moment to attack. As something big and shiny caught my attention, I looked through the binoculars, gasping once my eyes fell on a fish-like creature. Mermaids. They were real? I stood frozen to my spot, gears turning in my head, watching the creature as it floated numbly in its cage, probably asleep…or dead. But why would it be dead? Certainly it must cost more alive than dead? And then it clicked, and I smirked as I called over Irene with a wave of my hand, handing the binoculars to her and angling her head to see what I was looking at just seconds ago. She gasped as she looked at me taken aback, before looking back into the binoculars.

“They are real…” She whispered to herself, all the stories in our folklore true after all, “What will they do with her?”

I smirked and took the shotgun Irene was holding, checking if it was fully loaded, “Probably sell her somewhere in the South and make enough money for a lifetime, we can’t let them have that, can we?”

Irene’s eyes darkened as she shook her head, the same hatred I felt towards Ateez finally seeping into her own bloodstream, “Do you want everyone dead, Captain?”

I chuckled, raising my left arm high up in the air, “No, I just want them close to sinking.” And as I brought my arm down, the first cannon went off, sending a fireball surging through the air, hitting the side of Ateez’ ship in a way so perfect I couldn’t have angled it better myself. Eyes focusing on the cage the mermaid was held in, I calculated approximately where I had to shoot in order to break her glass cage, gunshots and fireballs flying overhead as the enemy ship came to life, men shouting and running around deck, trying to counter our attacks. My only focus was on pulling the trigger at the right time, and I did, then two more times, checking in the binoculars to see if my aim was correct. The mermaid seemed to sprung to life as she swirled around in her glass cage, slamming against it. Hongjoong could never stop me, I wouldn’t allow it. He can maim me as much as he wants, he can carve his whole name on my body, and I still won’t stop, still won’t back down. Not when he thinks he can have everything, not when he takes everything. And as I lowered my binoculars, I could see him standing tall on the quarterdeck, his own binocular lowering at the same time as mine. Despite the distance between our ships, I could feel his burning stare, I could feel his hatred, I could hear his curses, I could feel the burning want to kill me. Yet all I could do was smirk to myself and bow dramatically, knowing very well he was watching, mouthing to myself for him to enjoy the show. Nobody was let off easy after attacking Lee Y/N, Captain of Red Velvet, The Nightfury.

            The Heavens were on our side as we arrived safe and sound in the Sun Set Kingdom. Our journey took two weeks, as expected, the crew exhausted as we finally docked down close to the uninhabited island of the small Kingdom, the waves rocking the ship violently. The sky had significantly darkened as the wind picked up, Irene looking off in the distance with a frown on her face. The little island was right in front of us, not even a five-minute boat ride away. I tied my long hair in a low ponytail and checked if I had all my daggers on me, my sword sitting snugly against my waist, the new leather pants I was wearing rather restricting at the moment.

“Are you sure you want to go alone?” Irene’s voice was laced with worry as she took her binoculars out of her pouch and looked off in the distance. The little island had a small cave, it was Siwon and I’s meeting point. It wasn’t too deep, but it was enough to conceal the real world from seeing the business’ that went down, far from the eyes of constables and the Night watch of the mainland.

“Yes,” I hummed as I glanced at Irene, “However, a weird feeling came over me last night—”

“I told you this doesn’t feel right!” Irene snapped and I sighed, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“I know what I’m doing, Irene, and if anything goes wrong—”

“Nothing will go wrong!” Irene cut me off again, eyes narrowed at me.

“If anything goes wrong,” I repeated my sentence, glaring lightly at her, “then you know what to do. You take this crew away from here to safety and you become the new Captain.”

Irene gulped, gripping my arm hard, pulling me in closer, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, you must take care of yourself and if anything happens—you know how to let us know.”

I nodded and offered her a soft smile as Irene pushed her forehead against mine as a way of greeting. The people from the North might not have been the verbally affectionate kind, but we always showed our care physically. Acts of service and physical closeness paid a rather important role in our lives. Forehead touching was a way of greeting between family and close friends. We pulled away at the same time and Irene’s eyes hardened as she released me, my own face slipping into a mask of coldness, as I turned towards my crew, who were waiting excitedly for me to take off towards the island. Towards our freedom.

“When I return, we will be rich,” I spoke up, voice loud and hard, “When I return, we won’t have to live the pirate life for much longer. When I return…we shall find our paradise!”

The crew cheered loudly as they raised their swords in the air, eyes glinting hungrily for the promised future, for the future we’ve all been working hard towards, craving desperately. Greed was a vicious thing, but our drive to finally be free was even stronger. I nodded confidently as I threw Irene a last glance before taking off towards the little boat floating in the water, the waves rocking it rather harshly. The wind didn’t relent, picking up even more as my arms strained as I climbed down the rope to reach the boat. My feet landed with a loud thumb and I tumbled a bit as a big wave crashed into the boat, wetting my new shoes and leather pants. I groaned and took the paddles into my hands as I sat down, paddling away from the safety of my ship, of my crew, towards the deserted island with the singular cave sitting on the surface of it. It wasn’t the first time I came here, but something felt off right now. I wasn’t lying to Irene; I did mean what I said. I got a strange feeling last night while I tried falling asleep, a voice in my head asking whether this was truly safe? Whether Siwon was telling the truth? Did I trust him this time? What guarantee did I have that he wasn’t trying to fuck me over once again? But the greed and drive towards freedom was stronger than the voices in my head, stronger than the gut feeling, which was getting stronger and stronger by the minute, trying to turn me back towards my ship, telling me to leave as fast as possible. There were no other ships in the distance, just six other little boats as I arrived to the shore of the island, meaning that Siwon and his men were already here. They didn’t need a ship, as I glanced back towards my own, I could see the mainland from here, blurry because of the distance, but there. It would only take half a day to paddle out here by boat. I secured my own, so that the waves wouldn’t wash it away, and hopped out of it, the sea cold against my boots. The wind picked at my hair, the stray strands falling messily and getting into my eyes as I hurried towards the cave, hissing when the water became ankle deep. This wasn’t how I imagined I would ruin my new clothing, but I guess I’d do anything to be free.

The wind was loud on the inside of the cave as it blew at the entrance, and I glanced back as the waves crashed against the rocks. I had to jump over a few more as I walked further inside, the sunlight slowly disappearing as the cave was lit up by torches placed on the wall. Another sign that Siwon was already here. I walked cautiously, hand on the handle of my dagger as I glanced behind me, my gut feeling worsening by second. But I couldn’t turn back, not now. Not when I was so close. My feet padded against the sand quietly and suddenly, as I took a turn to the left, voices resounded around me, echoing from the wide, open chamber of the cave I came face to face with. Twenty men at least were sitting around, some on the rocks, some on the sand as they conversed, looking rather casual. Siwon was sharpening his knives as he sat back against a wooden chair, slumped in his seat. He must’ve felt my gaze on him because he looked up, body tensing and whistling loudly. All the other men suddenly stood up straight, their eyes fixed on me as I walked further inside, looking around warily. The air was tense and my gut was screaming at me to just turn around and leave, I still could do it. I could still change my mind; it wasn’t too late. But Siwon’s face suddenly morphed into a smile, too friendly, too casual.

“Welcome, Miss Lee!” He called out loudly, arms spread wide open, “We’ve been excitedly waiting for you arrival.”

I chuckled to myself, stopping a respectable distance away from him and his men, who watched me as if I were their prey, “Yeah, I can tell.”

My voice dripped with sarcasm, but Siwon didn’t comment on it as he just continued smiling, it was too fake, “I can tell you were eager to help me out, I’ve never gotten an answer back from you so fast before.”

I forced a smile on my face as I noticed two guys approaching me from my peripheral, “You made it sound urgent in your letter, Siwon, so I came as fast as I could.”

“And did you come alone?” He raised an eyebrow as he watched me with curious eyes. I was aware of the men behind me, but they have stopped advancing towards me.

“Here? Yeah,” I nodded, narrowing my eyes, “That’s how our deal was, but I didn’t come by myself to the island, Siwon.”

“Left your crew on the sea?” He was prodding, tone too casual for someone who looked visibly tense.

“No, they are by the entrance of the cave,” I lied through my teeth, smiling slyly at him, “So don’t even think about pulling any tricks on me.”

Siwon hummed deep in thought as he looked at the man behind me, and I glanced their way, my face hard and eyes glaring. They didn’t seem phased as they stood like guard dogs, eyeing Siwon every once in a while, waiting for an order. Pathetic.

“Where are the jewels?” I raised my eyebrows as I walked towards the man, arms crossed in front of my chest. The men closest to Siwon gripped the handle of their swords, but I ignored them. There was a muffled sound coming from the left, further inside the cave, a little bit away from the mass of men gathered around me. Four men seemed to be crowding around something, obscuring my view from the thing in question. Perhaps that’s where the jewel was.

“Oh, you know,” Siwon scratched the back of his head, looking innocently at me, “I forgot to bring it—”

“What?!” My voice was hard as I snapped, eyes turning into slits as I glared at the cocky man standing a few feet away from me. The torch lit chamber casted a sinister light over his smile, but it didn’t scare me. I risked my life coming here, by being so close to the Sun Set Kingdom. If anyone saw our ship and reported to the constables, they could be on their way already, ready to kill my crew. The crew I currently wasn’t with and what’s a Captain good for if she has no crew?

“I have so many customers, Y/N, you know how business works,” Siwon spoke up casually, folding his hands in front of his legs as he leaned against the wooden chair’s back casually, “Sometimes you hit it big, sometimes you get zero profit, which sucks. A lot. You know I love you the most, especially when your payment is the highest, but lately—you’ve been quite disappointing.”

“I only pay for the quality of what I get from you, Siwon.” I countered, scoffing, “And your merch has been quite shit, lately. Don’t expect me to throw coins at you, when you don’t deserve said amount.”

Siwon grinned, and shook his head, “This is where our problem starts, Miss Lee. I don’t like it when nasty pirates tell me what’s the worth of my own products, thinking they know better, when they don’t.”

I chuckled sarcastically, raising my eyebrows at him, “You think us nasty pirates don’t know the real worth of your products? How many items you think we see on a daily basis which are precious and which are scum? I can differentiate a real golden coin from a fake one just by one glance. Tell me what your real problem with me is and we can work it out—”

“No.” Siwon’s voice got harsh, eyes widening at me in annoyance, “We can’t work it out. Not anymore. I’ve had enough of your games, of you looking down on me.”

“Siwon—”

“Shut up!” Siwon’s deep voice boomed in the cave, echoing around us as I flinched, taken aback. He’s never acted like this before, I’ve always thought he was a dumb imbecile, trying to sell off any goods he found at the local market, sometimes getting his hands on good stuff, but most of times on nothing really significant. He raised his hand and waved over the other four men who were away from the group and I tensed as I gripped the handle of my sword, noticing Siwon’s men mirroring my stance.

“You have no idea how delightful it is to have you in one place,” Siwon chuckled, the sound echoing around us, “To finally have the two of you in one place, without the presence of your crew. Defenseless and up to my mercy.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the four men, noticing that they were dragging someone towards our group. Who was the two of us? Did Siwon set up a trap? For me and for—my eyes widened as I lost my composure for one second as the person in question was forced to his knees a few feet away from me. Head lulled forward and a bruise already forming on his jaw, his hair was blonder since the last time I saw him. Which was two weeks ago. Two weeks which weren’t enough for me to process my feelings, for my hatred to settle down a bit. The burning flame inside my chest was ignited back to life as Hongjoong raised his head, lazily opening his eyes, gaze falling on me. His eyes widened before they darkened instantly, his eyes mirroring the hatred I felt towards him. His face scrunched up in disgust as he sneered at me, tugging on the grip the two men had on him, as if trying to reach me. Siwon was long forgotten as I gripped the handle of my sword with a deadly grip, on the verge of pulling it out of its holder and slicing Hongjoong’s head off. All I could see was red. All I could feel was the blood dripping down my neck, my collarbones. All I could feel was the sudden itching of the scar on my neck, of the mark he made on me, maiming me and claiming me as his.

“You!” I spat out, taking off towards him, but I didn’t get too close to him as someone grabbed me by my forearm, halting me in my steps. I snapped my head around and growled at them, starting to pull my arm away, when Siwon’s laughter echoed in the chamber. My head whipped towards him at the same time Hongjoong’s and I could feel my heartbeat pick up.

“How hilarious,” Siwon managed to say between laughs, “I don’t even have to dirty my hands with your blood. By the looks of it, you’ll kill each other before my men can get to you.”

“Try me, you bitch!” Hongjoong barked at Siwon, violently trying to tug himself free, but the two men just harshly forced him back onto his feet. I glanced at Hongjoong before looking back at Siwon, his words registering in my brain. This was a trap, of course. Irene was right. My gut feeling was right. Siwon wanted us both dead. I glanced back at Hongjoong, our eyes connecting as he seemed to have the same realization I just had, eyes glossing over in thought. I wasn’t going to die tonight. I didn’t care if Hongjoong did, but one thing was certain, I couldn’t kill all twenty-four men by myself. I gulped as I glanced back at Siwon then at Hongjoong, who was biting his lower lip, already looking at me. Our faces were unreadable and his eyes narrowed at me as he raised one eyebrow. I hated this. I hated that I had to work together with the man I hated the most in order if I wanted to live another day. But I really had no choice. So, very subtly, I nodded my head as I slightly pulled my sword up, letting Hongjoong know that I understood. That I agreed. That I was ready to fight alongside him to save ourselves.

Siwon suddenly tsked and both Hongjoong and I looked at him as he opened his mouth, “Kill them.” And it all happened at once. I drew my sword out of its holder fully and stepped on the man’s toes who was holding me harshly as he released me, allowing me to finish him off as my sword went through his middle. Hongjoong knocked his elbows backwards harshly, unbalancing the two men holding him, allowing him the momentum to jump up and kick backwards as he freed himself, drawing out two swords from their holders before slicing his attackers necks, the two dropping dead on the cold sand of the cave. I whirled around as two men came running towards me, swords drawn, attacking fearlessly and furiously as they threw daggers my way. I dodged their attack and ducked down before stabbing one through the stomach, barely avoiding the other one as he aimed for my neck, making me hiss. Our gazes connected, but for a split second he glanced behind me, unconsciously letting me know that someone was there, about to attack, and so I whirled around and stopped their attack midair, the clanking of our swords loud as all you could hear were grunts and metal against metal, Hongjoong growling every few seconds as he slayed everyone who dared go his way. The man was rather talented with his sword and he sliced my arm, making me hiss as I jumped back just in time, preventing my arm from getting cut off, but quickly jumped forward and jabbed him in the ribs, making the man cry out. More cries came from behind me, but I couldn’t glance back as men ran my way, my sole focus on killing everyone who tried to kill me. I wanted to get my hands on Siwon, to kill him, to watch him in the eyes as he let out his last breath. My sword was up in the air, pressing against the man’s sword I was currently fighting, when a dangerously close metal clanking resounded in my ears. Hongjoong was panting as he blocked the attacker who tried to attack me from behind, our gazes connecting for a second as I noted my arms were becoming sore from the relentless attacks and defending. My focus was back on the man attacking me as Hongjoong cut the other man’s head off, the sight too much for even myself. There was a reason he earned his Slayer reputation. He was ruthless in battle, and fearless. Nobody dared challenge him, not even the best fighters. These men had nothing on him as he kept killing and killing them, only five standing on their feet as I killed another one, panting as sweat dripped down my forehead, my neck. I took in deep breaths as I felt Hongjoong’s back collide into mine, the remaining five men circling us, walking around us tauntingly, sneering and throwing in jabs. They looked at us like we were scared animals covering in a cage, but we were far from that. We’d live, and they’d die. Hongjoong had two swords, so I pulled my dagger out of my boot as I smirked at the man from across me, powerfully throwing it towards him, his eyes widening as it entered through his Adam’s Apple, blood spurting out and down his body as he fell backwards, choking and gripping the dagger in a panicked manner. Hongjoong chuckled as he saw, then lurched forward and sliced the man’s neck, three more remaining as they started looking uneasy. They knew their imminent fate and I decided to make it fast as I dropped my sword and pulled out my second dagger, running towards the one to my left and kicking his wrist harshly when he raised his arm to slash at me with his sword, whirling around as my dagger went through his clothes and flesh, straight to his heart. He gasped as I pulled out the dagger, watching him drop to the ground before Hongjoong killed the man charging at me, slicing the last one’s head off.

We were panting as we looked around, checking for a sign of life in the wreck we’ve left in our wake, my wrists numb as I dropped my dagger, doubling over in order to breathe in more air, lungs screaming in exhaustion. The stench of blood was horrible and I gagged, bringing my palm to my nose, trying to conceal the smell. Hongjoong shuffled next to me and I suddenly stiffened, standing up straight to look at him.

“He’s not here,” He muttered, more to himself, eyes searching the chamber of the cavern, “Siwon, that motherfucker—when I find him, he’ll be dead in no second.”

I scoffed, picking up my dagger as I walked over to the dead guy I killed with my other one, “I can’t believe he managed to fool the both of us.”

Hongjoong hummed but it went quiet as I pulled the dagger out from the dead man’s Adam’s Apple, realizing I had my back turned to the enemy. The real enemy. I whirled around, daggers ready if I had to pounce on him, but Hongjoong hadn’t approached me yet. His sword was ready, eyes narrowed as he watched me. We didn’t say anything as we stared each other down, expressions hardened as neither one of us moved. My hatred returned full force and I spat next to me, feeling that fire burn my whole body as I hurried towards him, dagger pressed against his throat in no time. Hongjoong smirked at me as he raised his eyebrows, pressing his sword against my leg as a warning. It cut into my leather pants, and if he ruined them more, I would kill him.

“You’re acting rather aggressive with your savior, Y/N—”

“I could’ve killed them on my own too!” I snapped, breathing hard as Hongjoong remained cocky, rather relaxed for someone who had a dagger pressed against their neck.

“No, you couldn’t have, and we both know it.” His answer was smug and I growled as I pushed the dagger more into his skin, drawing blood. Hongjoong’s jaw clenched and a harsh grip on my waist suddenly made my breathing falter for a second.

“You’re playing with fire, again.” His words were quiet but tone authoritative as if he was talking to one of his crew members. It made my blood boil and I was seething, hating the look in his eyes. Hating the upper hand he still seemed to have on me, and when his eyes fell on my neck, on my scar, I felt like screaming. I felt like slashing that dagger across his neck, watching the blood spurt out onto my face, the warmth bringing goosebumps onto my skin as it trailed down my face. But I didn’t. I lessened the pressure from his neck, but didn’t lower my dagger just yet.

“You expect me to be nice after you maimed me?!” My voice rose a few octaves as his eyes finally connected with mine, looking quite pleased with himself.

“I didn’t maim you, I marked you—”

“You maimed me!” I screamed, hating that I was letting my emotions come through as my face contorted into disgust. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, scared that I’d catch a glimpse of the letter carved into my skin permanently.

“I marked you,” Hongjoong hissed, grip tightening on my waist, “You should have thought twice before messing with me, Y/N, I hope you learned your place because I don’t feel like killing you just yet.”

I scoffed, but then allowed a smirk to appear on my lips, raising an eyebrow at him, “How’s your ship? Did you fix it? Or did it sink—”

“I will make you pay for it.” Hongjoong’s voice hardened and I leaned closer in, inches away from his face, still smirking.

“What are you waiting for? We both know you won’t kill me.” I spoke sweetly, tauntingly, “You should’ve just fucked me and forgotten about me, Hongjoong.”

It felt good using his own words against him, it almost made me cackle. Hongjoong hissed and pushed me away from his body by my waist, making me chuckle as he proved that I was right. Of course I was right. I could see right through him right now, his eyes gave it away as he looked away, taking off towards the exit. The cave was eerily silent as I followed after him, debating whether to say something or remain quiet as Hongjoong wouldn’t look my way. Silence was fine by me, I didn’t have much to say either way, just a couple of insults I knew would tick Hongjoong the right way, but then he might just actually kill me.

“Let’s call a truce,” My eyes widened as he spoke up first, almost by the end of the cave, the water washed against our boots, “For a week, until we get far enough from each other. But after that—I won’t show any more mercy.”

“I don’t want you to show mercy,” I scoffed, noting how the wind howled violently outside, that wasn’t good, “I’m not a helpless little girl. I’m a feared pirate just like you, I can take care of myself and of my crew.”

Hongjoong hummed, and after a second glanced back at me, “I know. I’ve always respected you for that.”

My eyes widened as he turned back towards the front, surprising me. Not many men respected women, especially not when you were pirates and especially not when your whole crew was made out of women. As the water reached ankle deep and we stepped around the rocks, it became quite obvious that there was a ragging storm outside. That meant we couldn’t paddle back to our respective ships. That was bad. Hongjoong stopped as he reached the exit, pulling back as the waves crashed violently against the shore, the wind blowing strongly and howling where we stood. Fuck. I sighed as I looked off in the distance, the heavy rain concealing my ship. But I knew the girls were fine as they were close to the shore, the storm not as violent here as in the open sea.

“We can’t go back.” Hongjoong muttered and I nodded, glancing at him from my peripheral.

“I hope the storm passes by the morning.” I agreed with him, making Hongjoong sigh as he rubbed his forehead.

“Jongho and Wooyoung said nothing about a storm coming—”

“We’re close to the Black Ocean and the Ragging Sea, the weather is unpredictable here.” I told Hongjoong as we turned to face each other, “We shouldn’t stay here unless we want a wave to crash into us and take us out into the sea.”

“I know,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, giving me a glare as he started walking back inside the cave, “We can set up a fire and sleep here tonight.”

I scoffed as I followed after him, “As if I’ll sleep next to you.”

“You won’t have much of a choice, unless you want the dead men as your companion—”

“Shut up,” I snapped, glaring at him as I walked past him, “I hope the sea swallows up Siwon.”

“Wouldn’t be as satisfying as cutting his head off—”

“Did you find a mermaid?” I heard Hongjoong pause for a second behind me as we jumped over the rocks, walking through the ankle-deep water.

“It was a siren, not a mermaid, those don’t exist—”

“How do you know?”

“The creature told us—well, mostly Jongho. I don’t know, they were weird.” I glanced back at Hongjoong as we walked further inside the cave, away from the howling wind and the sea. His eyebrows were furrowed as he shook his head, it made me chuckle.

“What? Did your little crew guy fall in love with the siren?” It was an assumption, but Hongjoong’s suddenly tense stature gave it away and my own eyes widened as I fully looked at him, quite intrigued, “Wait, seriously?!”

“He’s been obsessed with those things ever since his childhood,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes as if he still believed sirens were merely fairytales, “but I didn’t think he’d actually fall for one. I have a feeling she follows us around; I keep hearing Jongho talking to someone when we’re sailing through the Ragging Sea but when I check, he’s alone and walking away from the railing.”

I chuckled and looked at him with a taunting smile, “I didn’t know your crew was made up of little boys—”

“It’s not.” Hongjoong snapped and gave me a threatening glare, “But I won’t stop anyone from being themselves. Jongho has his own culture which has different believes than the other ones, I won’t strip that away from him.”

And suddenly realization dawned on me. Four years ago, when I told him I was from the North, he brought up one if his crew members, “Is he from the North?”

Hongjoong nodded wordlessly and we didn’t speak anymore as we reached the sand, Hongjoong throwing his swords down and taking off his vest, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt. I placed down my weapons as well and untied my hair from the ponytail, massaging my scalp as Hongjoong glanced at me before walking off, headed towards the open chamber filled with the dead men. We decided to settle down just before the turn to the left, not quite fond of sharing a space with twenty-four dead men. At least there wasn’t a stench here made by them and we wouldn’t see them thank to the turn.

            After Hongjoong brought back the wooden chair Siwon used as his pathetic throne and ripping it to pieces, we set the fire, using a torch and snitching some rum from the dead men having left behind for us to consume. We found a chest filled with some blanket and a few cutting instruments, but nothing which could be useful for us tonight in any significant way, so we left those alone. The fire burned strongly, embers jumping out from it from time to time, but we sat a respectful distance away, not keen of getting burned alive. Hongjoong had his shirt unbuttoned and the ends of his pants pulled up to his knees, both of our boots long disregarded, the fine sand quite pleasant against my skin. It was smoother than any sand I have stepped on before. I had my hair in a bun and had gotten rid of my corset, wishing I could take off my tight leather pants as well, but Hongjoong was around, I didn’t want him gawking at my legs. We had settled into a comfortable silence, surprisingly, as we passed the bottle of rum between the two of us, sipping on it quietly. It burned my throat each time I gulped it down, but the taste wasn’t too bad, being it one of the finer brands. Siwon was shallow like that, despite having little money, he’d spend it on the most expensive things, indebting himself to anyone who allowed it. It was truly pathetic. I hope the sea swallowed him whole. As I placed the bottle between the two us, not sitting too far apart, but not too close either, I felt Hongjoong’s sharp gaze bore into the side of my head. He’s been looking at me for quite some time now, but I continued ignoring him, until it became annoying and I huffed, whipping my head around to face him. He didn’t look away, to my surprise, just continued looking at me, taking in my face. So I did the same thing to him. I allowed my eyes to run over his blonde hair, his mullet significantly having gotten longer compared to four years ago, now it reached his shoulders at the back. His cat-like eyes were still rimmed with black eye-liner, smudged at this point from having sweat a lot. His face had gotten sharper, jaw more defined and nose standing tall. His lips were red and his cheeks were flushed from the rum we’ve been drinking for a while now. Despite that, I felt sober. My thoughts clear, my vision just alright, body still alert as I was still sharing a drink with my enemy. Yet somehow, Hongjoong looked peaceful right now, eyebrows not furrowed for once, eyes not glaring for once. I knew he hated me, I could see it still, but it was rather subdued as we continued looking at each other wordlessly. It impressed me how many people he killed tonight, how many he beheaded. That was a very hard task, it demanded a lot of strength and force, yet Hongjoong seemed to do it like it was simply nothing. His gaze became a little bit too much so I turned away, looking at the fire as I cleared my throat, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them with my arms.

“Why have you been trying to sabotage me for the past four years?” Hongjoong’s question took me off guard. He didn’t speak too loudly, voice laced with curiosity as his gaze continued burning into the side of my head. I could tell him the truth or I could lie to him. I didn’t find a reason to do the later.

“Because nobody takes women seriously in our society, especially a crew full of them calling themselves pirates,” I spoke up, voice laced with disdain as I glared into the flames, “I didn’t have anything against you at the beginning, but then you started taking all the good stuff away from us. We’d get our hands on second-hands only, things which were useless while the merchants demanded an obnoxious sum for them. They were laughing at us, trying to fuck us over thinking we were dumb. I tried everything before I decided to bribe the people who worked for you. It wasn’t the easiest, but I have my ways. And when people still didn’t take us too seriously, we decided to become what real pirates are. Merciless, vile, and dangerous. If we didn’t rob the other ships in the middle of the night we would be long dead.”

Hongjoong remained silent, and I glanced at him, realizing he was also staring at the flames now, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leaned back on his hands, “You know, four years ago when we met in that Inn…I knew you were acting. With that man, and then afterwards with me.”

My eyes widened and I turned my head, looking at Hongjoong surprised. He had an amused smile on his lips as he glanced at me, “I saw you in the market earlier that day, acting quite different than at the Inn. And I heard when your second-in-command called you Captain, too.”

“Then why did you interfere?” I asked with my mouth hanging open, always having been convinced that Hongjoong fell for my act.

“Because I was intrigued,” Hongjoong confessed, turning his head to look me in the eyes, “I wanted to find out who you were and what you did. And you were also really beautiful.”

The information had to sit for a moment as I repeated Hongjoong’s words in my head, chuckling, “I were?”

That shouldn’t have been my most important concern right now, but I couldn’t help it as Hongjoong’s eyes slightly hardened, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he gulped, “You still are.”

I bit my lower and blamed his honesty on the alcohol, knowing that he’d never confess such thing to me normally. Not when he wanted me dead so badly.

“You should’ve just minded your own business,” I found myself whispering as I looked at the sand, “At the Inn, that night, you should’ve—just walked away. Left me alone. I knew what I was doing, maybe that way we would’ve never gotten here.”

“You mean to hating each other? To wanting the other dead?” Hongjoong scoffed, voice hardening suddenly, “Then you shouldn’t have meddled with my business, Y/N. Because you almost ruined everything for my crew. For me. Everything that my father has built from scratch!”

I rolled my eyes before looking back at him, noticing the annoyance in his voice as he stared at me with a newfound spark in his eyes, “You almost killed us all. My crew, my brothers, we could’ve lost everything if I didn’t know the right people, pulled the right strings.”

“You think you were the only one struggling?” I raised my voice unwillingly, getting fired up by his accusation, “Did you not hear what I just told you minutes ago, Hongjoong? Men walked all over us every day, no matter what we did!”

“Is it my fault you were born women?!” I scoffed at his incredulous question, glaring at him hard.

“Of course not, I don’t know why I expected you to understand me when you had everything handed to you ready!”

“I had everything handed to me ready?!” Hongjoong’s voice raised too, eyes widening, “My mother died in front of me from a flu! I cried myself to sleep for two years after her death until my father threatened to abandon me if I didn’t toughen up because I was a man! A pirate. And then we found Seonghwa and I finally found some happiness. He understood my struggles! I was only fifteen when my father died right in front of me—”

“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at Hongjoong, who’s eyes were filling with hatred second by second, “Because I don’t give a fuck about your life, Hongjoong. You think I have parents at home who are waiting for me with open arms? I got sent to a war when I was thirteen! And they kicked me out after I told them I wanted to become an actress! When I visited them years later and told them I was finally making a living for myself by owning a small ship and having a small crew they—they disowned me!”

“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” Hongjoong’s words felt like a slap in my face, my own words ringing in my ears as my hands turned into fists, making me glare at him, “I don’t feel sorry for you at all, Y/N. You’re a bad person and you deserved everything—”

I snapped. I grabbed the dagger laying to my left and got on top of Hongjoong so fast the air was knocked out of his lungs as I pushed him back against the sand, dagger digging into his neck. My heart was beating fast and my head was swimming with the words he said seconds ago, vision blurring for a second from the tears which sprung into my eyes. But I blinked them away, staring down at Hongjoong with hatred, sneering at him as his eyes hardened, glaring up at me.

“I hate you,” I gasped out breathlessly, hand shaking as the fury consummated my bloodstream, “you maimed me for life. You carved your initial into my skin, Hongjoong. I can’t even look in the mirror anymore because I get disgusted. You ruined me. I have to cover it up if I go out in public. I hate it when my girls look at me with pity each time their eyes accidentally fall on the scar. I hate you so much. I want to kill you. I want you dead. I want to never see you again, I want—”

“Kill me.” Hongjoong’s chest was falling and rising quickly, lips parted as he stared up at me, the same fire I felt inside my body reflected in his own eyes, “Kill me, and Seonghwa will have you dead at the break of dawn.”

“And Irene will have his head for that.” I snapped, eyes desperately trying not to fall on his lips as he craned his neck, cutting his own skin with the blade of my dagger.

“San will kill her.”

“Yeri will kill him.”

Hongjoong opened his mouth but nothing ever came out of it as we stared into each other’s eyes, hearts beating fast as my grip loosened on the dagger. I hated him, I truly did. But something didn’t let me kill him just yet, I just couldn’t do it. And the longer I stared at him the more I realized how beautiful he was, how attracted I still was to him. In a second of confusion and anger, I threw my dagger away and crashed my lips against Hongjoong’s, a small gasp leaving his lips as I pressed down harshly against his, holding his cheeks with both hands. He reacted quickly, arms wrapping around my middle as his kiss was feverish, reciprocating my hungry ones with the same force and hunger I suddenly felt towards him. My heart was racing in my chest and my cheeks were flushed as I felt hot from the rum, Hongjoong’s hands travelling up my torso until his hands were at the front of my shirt. I pulled back and sat on top of him as he raised up too, ripping the shirt apart, buttons flying everywhere. His eyes fell on the black cloth wrapped around my body and with shaky fingers I undid the three buttons holding them snugly against my torso, unwrapping the fabric from my body. I shivered as my torso was now naked, Hongjoong’s eyes falling on my breasts before he leaned forward, pressing long and wet kisses against my collarbones, sucking at some points, making me fist his hair between my fingers as I bit back moans. I refused to let him hear me, not tonight. His kisses traveled up and I gasped when he paused at the scar, pulling away to look me in the eyes before he licked it, goosebumps erupting on my skin from the feeling, biting my lip harshly, refusing to let out any sounds. Hongjoong’s eyes found mine again and he kissed me, tongue pushing in my mouth as I sucked on it, making Hongjoong moan, a smirk appearing on my lips. As I circled my arms around his neck, he suddenly gripped my waist and flipped us, his body pressing against mine. I pulled back and bit his lower lip until he growled, drawing blood. He glared at me and pulled back as he started undoing his pants, my eyes falling down his torso, fingers reaching out to trace his skin, making Hongjoong gulp audibly. His pants were down and he was semi-hard already, his eyes falling onto my pants as I got to work, undoing the lace in order to push them down. It felt amazing to finally have them off my body, and I shivered as Hongjoong traced his finger against my skin as he pulled the fabric down. Not having been with a man in more than two weeks got to me and I didn’t need much as Hongjoong could make me feel things nobody else could, making me hate him even more. He kissed up my leg, keeping eye contact and it made me want to crawl up a wall, vagina clenching around nothing as his lips brushed against my knee before he littered more kisses up my thighs, close to my crotch but not quite there. I groaned as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of my thigh, biting hard, making me grip his hair as I tried to push his head away, but he only bit harder, making me yelp as he looked at me satisfied. Why did he like seeing me in pain? He released the skin with a pop and as I looked down, his teeth mark remained, slightly having drawn blood, making me curse at him quietly, Hongjoong chuckled as he had heard me.

He never touch where I needed him the most and I was about to snap at him as he suddenly gripped me firmly and flipped me over, my eyes widening as I pushed up to all fours, resting on my forearms. I was breathing fast, still clenching around nothing and as I looked back, Hongjoong pumped himself fast, biting his lips. He suddenly looked at me as he aligned himself with my entrance and I closed my eyes shut as he pushed inside, walls clamping down on his member instantly, moving in painfully slow until he bottomed out. I felt him shudder behind me and I pushed my ass back, asking for him to move, for any friction as he started moving excruciatingly slow, setting a dreadful rhythm as I tried pushing my hips back to meet his thrusts, but his hands on my waist stopped me from doing so. He was panting as he enjoyed torturing me, until he probably had enough himself and picked up his pace, going faster and faster until the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around us with my muffled whines as I bit into my hand, Hongjoong groaning with each thrust. I started meeting him halfway, feeling the familiar coil in my lower abdomen as Hongjoong started slamming back in faster and stronger, hitting a spot all too familiar as a loud moan slipped through my lips, walls clenching around him, making him moan too.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He rasped out, grabbing my hair which was in a bun, as he continued with the brutal pace he’s set, hitting the spot over and over again, making my toes curl and my back bend more, moans falling repeatedly from my lips. I was so close, and as Hongjoong gyrated his hips while thrusting, it tipped me off the edge and I came undone, moaning his name loudly, him finishing not long after, hips stuttering as he came to a stop slowly, member still inside as he was panting, still gripping my hair. My chest was falling and rising quickly, mouth hung open from the sensations, never having experienced a feeling such strong with any other man before. Hongjoong pulled out and slowly rolled me onto my back, sitting back in between my legs as I stared up at him. His face was flushed and I looked at his hands as he let them rest on my thighs, rubbing circles into them.

“If you don’t stop sabotaging me, I will send San to kill you.” His voice was raspy, but his words made me chuckle.

“You’ve sent him once and I’m still alive, what makes you think he’ll succeed a second time?” I raised my eyebrows and Hongjoong glared at me, “If you want me to die, you will have to kill me yourself. Watch me in the eyes when you plunge that knife deep inside my heart—”

My words got quickly muffled by Hongjoong’s lips as he pressed them against mine hurriedly, kissing me messily, hand going around my neck firmly, gripping it but not squeezing. I kissed him back with the same energy, hooking my legs around his hips as I pulled his body closer to mine, fingers threading through the longer strands of his mullet. Hongjoong pulled back from the kiss, but his lips brushed against mine lightly as he stared me down, eyes glaring. I licked at his lips, making his glare deepen as he pulled back a little bit more.

“You’re mine,” His forefinger suddenly pressed harder into the scar on my neck, “And I can do whatever I want to do with you, whenever I want to.”

I chuckled and hooked my arms around his neck as I flipped us over, pressing down my lower body against his, his member twitching as I rubbed up against it, turned on, as Hongjoong still held my neck firmly.

“I guess I’ll have to continue making your days a living nightmare, then.” I smirked and Hongjoong yanked me down, tongue in my mouth and hand on my waist as I started moving my hips, enjoying the way his grip tightened even more around my neck.

If fucking him kept me alive for a little longer, then I would do it with a lot of pleasure. After all, I knew Hongjoong wasn’t capable of killing me…but neither was I capable of killing him.

Next part (divider)

[malebodyexhibit]

Haunting Desire

I snapped a photo of myself just like the website described. There appeared to be nothing paranormal about myself, yet I felt a chill tickle the nape of my neck.

It’s been over a month since my girlfriend and I moved into this apartment. We were attempting to be adults, and sure, we’re just at the drinking age, so technically we were, but we wanted to be self sufficient. So much for that: we both didn’t have jobs nor did we bother with college; we lived off our family’s wealth. This just caused us problems. We were bored. She went out with friends. I tried hanging out with my friends, but I never clicked with them, so when something seemed off with our apartment, I felt more interested in solving that mystery than being with my friends.

It started with smalls things. It started before we even moved into the apartment. While touring the place, I stepped into the living area and was startled by the wide window staring out into the city. I’ve lived in places with better vistas, but something pulled me in. It felt warm and familiar. I sank into the couch left by the previous occupants and closed my eyes. It wasn’t until the apartment manager tapped me wake that I realized I had been alone on the couch. I shook off the feeling that I had been beside a person. As we continued to tour the place, I kept glancing at the living area, often I mistook a passing bird’s shadow for a person. When we came to the master bedroom, the same familiar warmth crept over me, but it deepened and I pulled myself away. I thought it was just nerves. Nonetheless I decided to place an offer.

Gradually odd things happened more and more. Cabinets opened; clothes were pulled out from laundry hampers; cologne that was not my own filled the air; knocks at the door; and a warm, breathy nuzzling of my neck in the morning. It was odd enough, but I started dreaming.

In a common dream, I enter the living area and walk over to the couch. On the couch was someone I loved. It felt beyond love because looking at them filled me with warmth. Cuddling with them on the couch seemed easy. Easier than it was to be with my girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong. I loved her. But, doesn’t it feel like that was just how it’s supposed to be? Like you didn’t have any other choice? That it just felt like it was the best fit for you? Well, the dream lasted until the person I held seemed to melt from my arms, and I grew colder, colder as if feeling a draft, and watching them fade beyond the door.

I’d wake up and find tears in my eyes. I often tried to hold my girlfriend, but the warmth was just bodily. It didn’t seem to warm the whole of me.

Eventually, I found myself sleep walking and waked on the couch, holding a pillow. Then the dreams seemed to happen while I was awake.

I often workout at home. I had my own workout equipment. So as I was working up a sweat and pumping my arms, I felt myself pull back. Like I dissociated from myself. I watched myself continue the workout. I felt myself breathing and the strain of my body pushing itself. Then it was like someone in my body was aware it was there. They stopped the workout and held my arms to their eyes, turning it around, checking out the biceps, triceps, and the veins on my body. They tentatively touch my abs and traced the creases of my pecs. Then I felt myself come back. And I was in control again.

Each time I feel myself pull back, someone seems to take control and I watch them ride my body. I also get a “taste” of their memory or feelings.

One time, while I was cooking dinner for my girlfriend, I felt myself pull back. The person in me started to expertly chop onions, garlic, then sautéed the ingredients. Soon the kitchen smelled wonderful. I heard my girlfriend walking up behind me and the person in me turned, and I, for some reason, expected to see a burly man with a beer in hand, but only saw my girlfriend.

I couldn’t explain why I was disappointed. The image of the man was fresh in my mind. They were someone this person in me loved. I could imagine myself in the man’s arms. I could imagine the feeling of my cheek against their hairy chest. I could imagine him nuzzling my neck as I slept. But I could also see them leaving.

When I saw my girlfriend and not the man of my literal dreams, I felt myself being thrusted back in control. And that’s when I noticed a pattern. I was only controlled when I did things the other... person did. They worked out, they cooked, and they wanted comfort. But when something I did that they didn’t do, then I got control back.

The dreams intensified, and I honestly enjoyed it. I think that was when I figured I might have something more in common with... this person. Growing up in a conservative state, I was told that I only had one option: Get married then have children. So I didn’t realize that I might like guys. As I continued to dream of this guy who held me and kissed me, I found I enjoyed it more and more. That’s when I saw my own reflection in a dream. I looked pretty similar: white, black-haired, young male who worked out but was still skinny. I looked good. Or he looked good.

I assumed the person in my skin had died and lived in this apartment before I moved in. It’s a strange sensation to realize you’re being possessed by a ghost, but I enjoyed the company in a strange way. For so long, I felt alone. Even when I thought I was in love, I had really just been living in a lie. Now that I saw a truer version of myself, I wanted to express it and share it.

I found out his name was Ethan. I found out when his boyfriend of five years wrapped his arms around me in a dream and whispered his name in my ear. Ethan was around my age and had died suddenly in an accident. His boyfriend must have left shortly after. I couldn’t imagine his heart break.

Now Ethan took me over, usually while I slept, and explored my body. I “woke” while I was stroking one out to pictures of guys. I also woke while working out. My sleep schedule became so erratic that my girlfriend was concerned. So I decided to finally come out to her.

I was terrified and I wanted Ethan to work it through with me, but when I finally said the words, “I’m gay,” I felt on my own. Yet I felt him nearby.

The breakup was messy. In the process I had awkward conversations with family and friends. I would still get money from family, but it was strained love at best. My friends seemed to drop out of my life except for a few. One of my friends even expressed an interest, but I was terrified to do anything.

So I made Ethan help me.

I invited him over and to calm my nerves I had a shot or two of hard liquor. I closed my eyes and imagined Ethan’s boyfriend. And just like that I felt myself lose control. Ethan seemed to see my friend as his former lover.

The ghost in my body took my friend by the waist and pulled him in for a kiss. He trailed along his neck and down his chest. The whole time I watched and celebrated this new found sexual excitement. As Ethan kissed each ab, he brought his hands around his cock. I watched as Ethan started to suck and stroke it. My friend moaned and grabbed my hair. He was gasping as Ethan sucked deeper and brought his fingers to my friend’s hole. I could feel each sensation from the taste, the hard cock, and the tightening warmth around my fingers.

When we finished, my friend held my body and the ghost and I within savored the company. But it didn’t last. After a couple more hook ups, Ethan had said the L-word. “I love you,” he said after a night of rough fucking. My friend had his arms around us, but upon hearing “love” he pulled back and stammered an excuse. I felt myself thrusted into control and I tried to fix it.

“I didn’t mean it! It just slipped out!” I said, almost in tears at having this new comfort taken away from me.

“Sorry, I can’t. I thought we both knew this was a hook up. I’m not looking to date guys,” my friend said before leaving.

I was devastated, but when I no longer felt Ethan in me or around me, that’s when I broke down in sobs.

It had been days since I felt Ethan and I was getting desperate for his company, his possession of me. It was the only time I felt cared for and brave enough to be me.

So I looked up shady websites about ghosts and found one about how to detect ghosts. You take a picture of yourself and look for orbs. And that’s what I did, but as you can see from the first picture I took, there was nothing.

But as you now understand, there is a world of ghosts out there. Ghosts that probably want a hot body to go into, to use, and I’m a guy who wants to be used. If I can’t have Ethan in me, then maybe I should find another ghost who could fill me up and make me whole.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Could you do—Garten of Banban Characters reacting to WereGator!Reader going through the games events to find their nieces? (Same principle as a Werewolf, just with them being able to turn into an alligator. They can semi-shift sharper claws or more menacing eyes.)

Monsters are secretly intermingled with normal society. They just tend to stay out of sight or hide their otherness to blend in. Cause humans are crazy population wise to them, seriously eight billion?! No lone species wants to get that many humans ticked off/scared of them. Reader was really wary of letting their sister-in-law leave her daughters at the daycare. Sure, it catered to monster kids but something was always a bit off… Weregators have strong nurturing instincts when it comes to their or any family member’s kids. The worry was just brushed away as that being in overdrive…

Reader goes through the various puzzles a bit aggressively (never destroying anything outright but Banban can see them barely controlling their strength/shifts).

Oh I love this!! I'll just be doing 4 characters

.......

Banban

You had your suspicions about letting your nieces get dropped off at the kindergarten during "Bring-A-Friend Day".

Your sister-in-law didn't see the problem. Sure, the place was apparently creating living, breathing mascots and likely violating all moral/ethical codes in doing so...but she thought it was fine.

Lab-bred monsters interacting with the natural monsterkind living quietly in the outside world? Surely nothing could go wrong...

Until it did and you found yourself going to this place to find your two nieces.

They weren't even your own children, though as a weregator your nurturing instincts went into overdrive the moment you heard of their disappearance.

And it's for that reason you'd be....quite aggressive and direct in how you solved the strange puzzles throughout the facility.

Nothing pissed you off more than the drone--as sometimes it refused to cooperate.

You came close to smashing the controller numerous times.

You meet Banban after he tries knocking you out, but he's stunned when you barely flinch and tackle him, eyes turning reptilian, alligator claws growing on your hands, and patches of your skin turning to scales.

And you growl angrily, threatening his very existence.

But since he shares Untham's fascination with monsterkind, he just stares at you like you're some spectacle, totally fearless.

"My, what big claws you have....sorry, bad joke-"

"Shut it, "Banban"." You snarl. "Where are my nieces?! I swear if you did anything to them-"

"I've done nothing to them. In fact, I feel terrible about what's been going on here. And that's why I want to help you find them."

"You do..?" You blink. "Then why did you attack me?"

"It's hard to explain. Sometimes I lose control over myself...I truly am sorry about that. Now could you let me go? I think doing that will benefit both of us."

"...how?"

"I promise I'll help you the whole way. Believe me, I've tried helping others before you, but...they were humans. Held back by fear and lack of physical endurance. You, however, stand a chance. But you'll need some guidance. This place is huge, after all."

You were surprised by his offer, albeit cautious of his intentions.

In the end, you let him go as killing him wasn't gonna bring you anywhere closer to your nieces.

He oversees your journey and helps where he can, although he cringes when you damn near shatter the glass panels when solving certain puzzles or fully shift into your gator form when you're trying to fight of Nabnab....

Or when Banban turns into his "hellish" form and tries attacking you, with you leaving some pretty deep scratches on his skin.

Once he snaps out of it, he's like "omg you're just like me fr, we both have trouble taming the beasts within ourselves-"

You take full offense to that and remind him that you're both nothing alike.

Opila Bird Up

She basically fucked around and found out when she first confronted you.

Her screeches of intimidation turned to shrieks of fear the second you shifted into your gator form, causing her to stumble and fall into the abyss where the ball pit once was.

So for the most part..she left you alone after that.

Even Banban was impressed.

When you put her babies back into their nest, she's at first terrified that you were going to eat them....yet you had no intentions of doing so as you calmly greet her before leaving.

Even though she's been aggressive and instigated your transformation in the first place, you saw her younglings as you would your own.

You'd never think to harm them even though everything here so far has tried to harm you.

And soon a shaky alliance was formed, but only because you two shared the common instinct to protect your kin.

The turning point was when you saved Tarta and Opila from being crushed by Jumbo Josh--you literally held up his fist in your gator form so the couple could flee the fight.

Even he was shocked

That's when Opila knew you were someone who could be trusted to the fullest.

Ya'll know how some species of wading birds have gators as their "bodyguards"?

This is where you and her family are at right now. You'll fight tooth and nail to defend them.

She trusts you with her chicks and knows they're in good hands (or claws, rather).

Your end goal was still finding your nieces, but you'll save whatever children you could along the way. Human or monster or both.

Banbaleena

You weren't inclined to sit in some uncomfortable plastic chair and get schooled by this "teacher".

First she saved you from Opila Bird and now she's basically holding you hostage, confiscating your drone.

At this point you're over it. You're wasting precious time here when your nieces could be in serious trouble.

When Banbaleena threatened to tear you into pieces the next time you're "late", you snap right back at her with "how about I tear you into pieces instead?"

As you say this, you show your claws, scales, and reptilian eyes so she knew exactly what she was dealing with.

Suddenly her strict demeanor goes away and she puts you at the "mean kids" table right away.

You suspected her donor feared monsterkind, a trait that was transferred directly to her, as she keeps stuttering when giving the next lesson and deciding you're correct even if you pressed the "wrong" answer.

She can't even look you in the eye and shakily asks you to be gentle with the tape recorders.

Yet she still calls you a "bad student" for leaving and attempts to give chase, but it doesn't last long and she gives up rather quickly.

She hasn't dealt with anyone who stood up to her and lived to tell the tale.

Especially a weregator.

Bittergiggle

He's not intimidated by you in the slightest.

You could partially-shift or even fully shift into your weregator form and this jester will find ways to make jokes out of it.

Besides stopping you from interfering with his plans to make the queen laugh, his goal is to make you laugh, too.

He knows killing you by himself is no longer feasible so he's gonna be an annoying mf who stalls you with bad jokes.

"What do you call an alligator examining a crime scene? An investi-gator!!"

"What's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You'll see one in a while, and you'll see the other later!"

When you don't laugh, it just irritates him a lot and he storms away.

He sets Kittysaurus upon you and is shocked when you manage to subdue her with ease.

Not by letting her ram into the walls over and over, but by throwing her into those walls/buttons yourself.

Never did you think you'd wind up in this situation when all you wanted was answers as to where your nieces went....

But you'll be damned if you let some clown and dino-cat hybrid stop you from finding them.

It's actually quite funny when you come back to the kingdom's throne room and see Bittergiggle throwing an absolute FIT because you once again stopped him from telling his joke to the queen.

And I mean stomping, waving his arms, hitting the floor, etc. Just a full-blown tantrum.

"Wow, even my nieces are more mature than you smh"

[sirsbasement]

An Unlocked Door

You trudge up to your front door. Feet sloshing in soaked shoes with each step. Wet squelching, but not the kind you desire. All day you've been unnaturally horny, and all you want to end your day is to touch your clit while you stuff something in your cunnie. You fumble in your purse, but have trouble finding your keys. Rain from the gutter spills out onto your head, worsening your already ornery mood. You try the knob, knowing it won't move. But it does.

The knob turns, and the door opens inwards on rusty hinges. Odd, you think to yourself. You remember locking the door, but you've been wrong before. If you're honest with yourself, you've not been much good at anything other than pleasing yourself, and others. So you step through the entry way and close the door behind you. You step over tile floor, leaving drops of water behind you. In the kitchen now, you pry open the refrigerator door with an effort.

It's empty. Like you are, you want it filled... the fridge too, but that will have to be a problem solved another day. You can do something about the craving void between your legs though, so you consign yourself to an empty stomach. As you begin to close the door of the fridge, you catch a shape behind you in the door's reflective surface. Before you can let out a panicked shout, my hands are on you. One touch calloused hand closes tightly over your mouth, the other takes hold around your wrists. Both wrists in one mighty mitt, there's still ample room in my grasp. You know it is only constraint that keeps your frail bones intact.

I lean in close enough for you to feel the warmth and smell the sweetness of my breath. You're a child under the canopy of my shadow. Your legs quiver under you, and terrified tears begin to spill over the roundness of your soft cheeks.

"Don't scream. It will change nothing. I will have you regardless of how much you fight it. Nod if you understand."

You nod frantically, whatever gets you out of this situation safely. My hand on your mouth slackens, and you take deep racking breaths, the cold air rushing into your lungs. I press myself against you from behind, and you feel me take a long drawn breath in your hair. My voice is granite on stone, raspy and deep. You feel it as much as you hear it.

"So sweet. So ripe, and all mine."

I turn you with me, and press you hard against the kitchen counter. You catch yourself just in time to stop your head from smacking painfully on the counter. Both damp hands slap loudly on the counter. You feel me pillaging your body, powerful fingers pull at your clothes, pulling the wet cloth from your curvaceous form. Your clothes fall from the floor, piece by piece. You can't explain how, but your warm. Where you thought you would be shivering from the cold, you're burning up inside. You flush, realizing despite having been rained on, it's the hungry gash between your legs that is the most damp. Almost in sync with you, I take another deep sniff.

"What have we here?! I can smell your cunt. You whore. It's more fun when they fight, but you wouldn't even if you could. Am I right?" I ask playfully

You turn your head in embarrassment, but you know that I am right. You're left nude, save your panties. They're plastered to your skin, your excitement plain. They are sticky, and sweet and you want nothing more than to reach down and pull them away. I beat you to it. I pull them to the side, slick trails of your feminine juices connect your cunt to the panties like spider's web.

You can't see me undress, but you hear heavy thuds as my clothes hit the floor. You smell me now, and blanch. You know the smell of cock, you love it in fact. But you've never had such a carnal reaction, you know for a fact that the only way I could be so pungent is if i was already erect and leaking thick drops of pre. You don't have time to dwell on that further. You feel me enter you.

You splay open painfully, your engorged lips parting for the head of my cock as I force myself through the tightness of your body. You feel my hands on you again, and now you know my strength. One hand weaves through your hair, and pull your head back so strong you fear of whiplash. The other closes around your throat like a vice. What is the point of asking if you will scream if I was going to squeeze this hard you ponder. Foolishly you think this internal dialog will keep your mind safe, it doesn't. Loud squelching erupts under you, as I ravage your pussy. You're spread so wide around me you can pick out individual veins around my girth, the pressure is so great. You feel warmth drip slowly down between your legs, your pussy is a pot boiling over.

"Your so damn tight! What a prize I have with you, whore!" I bark delightedly.

Your legs clash against the lip of the counter, you feel the bruises building already. You decide you'll worry about that if you survive the night. The tautness of your ass claps against my thighs as I plow you into the counter. You struggle to stay cognizant, it's an effort with my hand still slowly choking the life from you.

You feel the head of my cock reach depths you did not know you had at the peak of every thrust. Every thrust of my hips a hit of dopamine, and unending pleasure. You feel yourself approaching orgasm, and can't be bothered to be shameful about it. The veracity of my fucking knocks things from the counter to break upon the floor. The cabinet your knees batter against falls off a hinge.

"Please... please sir, I'm going to cum" you barely manage to whimper between my clutching fingers.

Like a wild animal who's cage is accidentally left unlocked, I bare down on my pray. Your vision blurs at the edges, and you feel my shaft in you harden even further. You desperately hope you'll be awake to feel the pleasure of your release and mine. Like a dam breaking, I explode inside of your folds. Every inch of your grasping tunnel is coated with an ever flowing torrent of white ropes of cum. Your knees finally give, and my hands are all that keep you from collapsing. You cum your stupid slut brains out. Your clit throbs, and you tense desperately against my girth.

My hands slowly unfurl, and you catch yourself against the counter. You barely manage to stay on your feet, but you start seeing the world in familiar color as you catch your breath. You feel me slide my erection from inside of you, despite yourself you try to clinch and keep me captive inside of you. Spent as you are, it makes little difference and you feel familiar emptiness as my cock slips from within you with an audible sloppy "Plop".

I reach down behind you and pull your panties back over the defiled ruins of your pussy. You feel my seed leak, and instinctively try to clinch yourself around my load.

Uncaring, you hear me pick my clothes up off the floor, and you hear the sound of my feet slapping the floor as a I walk away.

"Nobody will believe you, you know. If you are lucky, I'll come back and have you again... and again... and again..." I trail off as my voice grows quieter as I step back out into the night, closing the door firmly behind me.

You rush through the kitchen, tracing my footsteps. The rain has dried, instead there are drops of the aftermath of your abuse trailing in front of you. You catch yourself at the door, and put your hand on the deadbolt. But you hesitate turning it. For a long moment you stand there, still throbbing from the aftermath of your fucking. When you step back, the door is unlocked.

You keep your soiled panties on for days, trying to relive that single unforgettable night. Your door stays forever unlocked.

[honeypiehotchner]

Devil's Backbone (Unsub!Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part eleven

Well-- Honestly I have nothing to say for myself honestly

Warnings: Hotch is a dick! Majorly!

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Eleven: All I wanted was you -- "All I Wanted" by Paramore

You rolled over in bed to the sound of your alarm beeping. Not your alarm clock, no. An alarm set to go off when the tracker moved. It was four in the morning, and Hotch was already on the move. 

You thought that placing the tracker on his car was a ridiculous idea. You thought for sure he’d pick up a different vehicle, but he didn’t. You thought he’d at least search his car for anything abnormal, but he didn’t. He chose to take his own car, and you watched the red dot on your phone screen as he moved. 

You couldn’t follow him immediately, but you pulled yourself from your bed regardless. You weren’t sleeping, anyway. You knew you wouldn’t after receiving this assignment from Strauss and being forced to lie to the rest of the team about where you were going to be for a few days. Or more. You didn’t know how long this would take.

It all depended on Hotch. And he was not fit to be depended upon anymore.

You packed your bag yesterday afternoon when you came home. You told the rest of the team you felt like you were coming down with something, food poisoning, maybe, who knows, but you needed to rest. Could be the flu. They believed you and you felt awful for it.

You paced in your kitchen, watching the red dot move. He went to the gas station. He stayed there for a while, so he likely went inside. For breakfast? It was four in the fucking morning, for christ’s sake. He was insane.

Finally, he started moving again, and he headed for the interstate. Fuck. You needed to go.

Around six, Rossi called. “Are you following him?” His voice floated through the speakers of the car, surrounding you.

You rolled your eyes, picking up your hot coffee from the cupholder. “No, I’m sitting on my ass in my apartment. Yes, I’m fucking following him.” You took a sip.

Silence followed.

You sighed, putting the coffee back down. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Rossi said. “I know you’re frustrated.”

I’m more than frustrated. “Yeah. Sorry. Didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“It’s fine, kid,” Rossi replied. “We just need you to see where he’s going, and then you can come home. He’s probably just going to get away, like he said.”

“You don’t think he’s doing anything weird?”

“I think what we have is a string of bad coincidences,” Rossi said. “And I just need you to prove it.”

+++

Aaron went to a motel. That confused you, purely because it was one of the most rundown motels you had ever seen, and he didn’t seem like the type to stay in anything less than a hotel. But he went there, parked, and stayed.

You sat in your car down the road, the motel still in view, but you weren’t entirely. You put the windows in the front down to listen, and for some fresh air. You didn’t want to run the air conditioning the entire time you sat. Or the radio. You needed silence, so you could think.

You debated going to the motel, finding his room, and forcing him to talk. To explain what the hell was the other night, what the hell had he been getting into, what the hell was going on. Just, what the hell? But that was against your orders. You weren’t supposed to talk to him, especially if nothing suspicious had been done. Staying at a motel wasn’t exactly grounds to accuse him of anything.

Still, it frustrated you, sitting there like that. Whenever you were in the field, if surveillance was part of the investigation, you hated it. You hated sitting still when you knew you needed to do something. It drove you insane.

You checked your phone. No new messages from Rossi or Strauss. Or anyone. 

You sighed, hitting your head against the headrest. This was ridiculous. You closed your eyes. Maybe a nap would solve it, or at least you wouldn’t have to be conscious while he probably took a nap in his motel room.

You got barely five minutes of sleep before you got the shit scared out of you.

Hotch, in one swift move, reached into the car, unlocked the passenger door, and got inside, his eyes full of an anger you had never seen. 

“Drive.”

Your chest rising and falling rapidly, you shook your head. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He pulled his gun off his hip and pointed it right at your chest. “I said, drive,” he repeated.

He’s fucking insane, you thought. You cranked the engine and threw the car into drive, speeding off as he asked, your entire body shaking.

“Where are we going?” you asked, jaw clenched as you white-knuckled the steering wheel.

“Nowhere,” he snapped. “Take the next left.”

The car ride continued like that for fifteen minutes. Him barking orders at you. You testing your luck with snarky remarks. The gun remained pointed at you, making you sweat. But you knew he wouldn’t dare. 

At least, you hoped he wouldn’t.

Finally, after far too long of taking random turns, he told you to take the last left. Into a field. A literal, abandoned field. You glanced at your phone. SOS. Great. No fucking service, either.

Panic surged through you, certain he was going to kill you right here. You didn’t know why that thought came to mind. You fought your instincts, your gut feelings, yet in the face of panic, they came through. He was a murderer. You knew it. You felt it.

“Get out,” he hissed, unlocking the doors.

You did as you were told. He exited the car, too, his gun still trained on you. So, with most of the car protecting you, you pulled your gun on him, across the hood of the car.

“Put it down,” he said evenly, holding his weapon with two hands now.

“No!” you yelled. “I’m not going to stand here and let you have a gun on me, Aaron. Put your fucking gun down so we can talk.”

“Now you want to talk?” he laughed, the sound eerie and hysterical. “Why are you following me?”

“I’m following orders,” you countered, adjusting your grip on your pistol. You should’ve put your bulletproof vest on before leaving the house. You looked at it, but you didn’t put it on. There was one in the back of your car, but it did you no good back there.

“Why?” he replied, taunting you. “You never followed mine.”

“Fuck off,” you snapped. That was a slap in the face, and he knew it. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Getting fresh air,” he replied. You knew it was a lie. “So why are you tailing me?”

“Following orders, like I already told you,” you fired back. God, you hoped Garcia had your location, or somebody. You didn’t expect Strauss to send you out here without a tracker on your car, but she never mentioned it. Maybe it was implied? God, if he killed you, would anyone find you?

“Whose orders?” he said.

“Who do you think?” you spat. This felt ridiculous, yelling at each other over the barrel of your guns. “Can we put the weapons down and talk like normal adults?”

His grip faltered for a moment. “Whose orders?” he asked again, slightly calmer, but only slightly.

“Strauss,” you answered, lowering your gun, hoping your concession would lead him to do the same. And it did.

He lowered his gun, but didn’t holster it, so you left yours out, too, pointed at the ground. You had to play his game, no matter how much you hated it.

“Strauss sent me to follow you,” you continued, “because she’s worried about you.”

He laughed. He actually laughed.

“I’m serious,” you seethed, rounding the front of the car. It was a mistake, you knew, getting closer to him, but it was involuntary. “Aaron. Listen to me. JJ is missing files from her office. What the fuck did you do with them?”

“I’m not responsible for JJ’s files,” he replied, his angry eyes landing on you, clearly fighting something back. “She probably lost them.”

“JJ doesn’t just lose files,” you snapped. When did he become such a dick? “I saw you take files with you when you left. I know you have them. Where are they?”

“Nowhere,” he replied through gritted teeth. “Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“For fuck’s sake, Aaron,” you screamed, your throat raw. “I know you’re killing them!” It was the first time you admitted it out loud, to yourself, to anyone else. 

“Oh, do you?” he said, his voice eerily calm. He took a step closer to you and you took a step back. He smirked. “What do you know exactly?”

“Rossi told me,” you said, trying to keep your voice from wavering. “Issac Holman is dead. Now Nicholas Edwards.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Anyone else?”

Your stomach dropped. “There’s more?”

“I don’t know, is there?”

Oh, he was taunting you. He walked toward you, forcing you to take steps backward, but you only got so far until your back was pressed against the car. You recognized this a moment too late, unable to dart away before Hotch closed in on you, placing his hands on the hood of the car, on either side of you, caging you in.

You swallowed thickly, determined to not back down. “How many others?”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s for you to figure out. I wouldn’t know.”

You squirmed, and he liked it. “Tell me how many,” you demanded.

He leaned close, close enough that your eyelids fluttered. He smirked. “No.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, then your ear. “No, no,” he said again, his breath hot against your ear. “I’m not telling you.”

His free hand caressed your arm, smoothing down your skin until he reached your wrist. He dipped his head, kissing your neck, and your fingers loosened on your gun. He tucked it into his holster as you registered too late what had happened. 

You squirmed again, hands flailing, attempting to reach your gun, but he was too strong. One move and he had his body pressed firm against yours, his free hand gripping your wrists and trapping them between your bodies.

“Hotch,” you gasped, the sound too close to a whimper when he sucked hard on your neck. 

“You’re going to do as I say,” he whispered. “Or I’ll shoot you.”

You knew at that moment that he meant it. So you did as you were told, in order to save your life.