#so changing it so he does agree to sex with her would be interesting or just generally being able to see them like.

[luvyeni]

HAVING A THREESOME 𖹭 엔하이픈 ( reaction ) !

genre smut 𖹭 warning threesomes , gxg mxm mxf themes, unprotected sex , pegging, sub jake — parings enhypen hyung line x fem reader | back to library .

— how enhypen would feel when you ask them for a threesome.

「 authors note 𖹭 」 my first time writing a enha member as a sub and i'm not mad at it.

﹙ 𐙚 : heeseung﹚ .ᐟ

heeseung is freaky so i think he definitely would be interested in having a threesome; he wouldn't mind having one with a girl but it wouldn't be his first choice , he doesn't really feel all too comfortable with fucking another girl but he's not gonna lie , watching you kiss a girl would be hot , but he definitely doesn't want to kiss her. i think he'd want to fuck you with one of his friends , jake or sunghoon. he want to watch them fuck you , before he does , most likely be into double penetration as well , both of them fucking you at the same time , he just want to show how pretty his girl looks while she's being fucked past her limits by his friend.

"see how pretty she looks when she's cumming , keep fucking her and watch her squirt."

﹙ 𐙚 : jay﹚ .ᐟ

jay would never agree to a threesome, he's way too territorial over you , and he definitely doesn't want to fuck another girl. if you ask him ; he's gonna laugh , thinking you're joking, but when he notices that you're serious his entire faces changes. "you seriously asking me this?" he's pissed off that you would even think about that. "what you want me to fuck another girl , cause that's not happening and if you think im bringing another man in here , like one of my friends you're cute baby but you're as dumb as they come." will end up fucking you right there , face down ass up; showing you that you don't need anyone else in the bed room to pleasure you , make sure you never ask a dumb ass question like that again.

"next time you want me to fuck you dumb just ask , don't ask stupid questions to piss me off."

﹙ 𐙚 : jake﹚ .ᐟ

this mother fucker here , he's down for anything; one of his friends or one of yours he's down either way, jake isn't afraid to admit he'd be down to kiss another dude , like his members , he's also not afraid to admit that he wants to be used by too pretty girls , tie him up and use him , toying and using his cock while he can't do anything but cry and shoot blanks, begging you both to stop even though he doesn't want you too , having you sit on his cock , and the girl sitting on his face , he's in heaven. "let's try something different baby." his eyes widened when you pull out the strapon , he's nervous because he's never had anything up there before but he's such a good boy so he takes it like a champ , he's not gonna lie he did like it more than he thought it would. when he's all gone and fucked out , you let the girl leave and you go take care of your baby.

"i did good right?" "so good baby , you did so good."

﹙ 𐙚 : sunghoon﹚ .ᐟ

he'd say no at first— he likes fucking you and that's it , but of you really want one he might let it go once , but he has to pick who it is— he chooses sunoo , he thinks sunoo would be the perfect person , simply because he know inexperienced sunoo wouldn't fuck you as well as he would and he knew you wouldn't ask again— everyone wins. he'd guide both of you through the entire thing , making sure you both came , showing sunoo how to make you cum , and cum you did. once sunoo left , sunghoon wasn't finished , now he wanted to let you know that it would be the only time someone fucked you besides him , and that no one could fuck you as good as he could.

"he barely made you cum , you see nobody else could make you cum like i can , so don't ask again."

��LUVYENI

[starboye]

Kinktober Day 25

starring: hiram lodge x male reader

request: Hiram Lodge and stepson femboy bottom male reader where Hiram has secretly been having sex with his stepson and turning him into his slutty bottom boy today alone for the whole month of October and reader's dressing up in the slutty little school girl outfit with the mini skirt and thong and heels and Hiram and him want to try bondage so he gets all the equipment and Hiram ties the Reader's hands behind his back as Reader licks hiram's muscles and I'm face fucking male reader till he fills his mouth full of c** and then just starts fucking him while he's tied up pulling his hair and putting a ball gag in the Reader's mouth with bondage kink come eating muscle worship daddy kink and Hiram talking about getting reader pregnant if that's okay

warnings: smut, stepcest, cursing, rough sex, face fucking, ball gag, bondage, femenization, ass slapping, muscle worship, cum swallowing, deepthroating, hair pulling, daddy kink, breeding kink, alluding to male pregnancy, pervert hiram, oral sex, jerking off, slight musk kink

after your dad died your mom remarried to hiram quickly to the dismay of you, you hated him and his little entitled daughter always thinking she was better than everyone and could rule the world, but you had to live with them because your mother decided this is the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

that all changed when he started showing a little more interest in you, or shall we say interest in your body, every time he walked past you he would graze your ass with his hand and sometime his cock or slap your ass and call it just a friendly smack between to friends.

one time you walked past his room when it was just you and him in the house and he was jerking off, noticing you in crack of the door watching him he invited you in and invited you to jerk him off, which you did and soon turned into you sucking him off which according to him was some of the best head he had in years.

"your mothers' mouth cant even compare to this" he groaned cumming in your mouth, and after that you became his live in slut, anytime your mom and veronica were out of the house he would fuck you whenever and however he wanted and today was no different.

you mom was out at work and veronica was out with her friends so like every other time hiram told you to get ready for him, which consisted of you going to his room and getting naked on his bed but today you wanted to try something new, you went to your room and pulled a school girl outfit from your closet before putting it on.

sitting on hirams bed with a short skirt on, a crop top, a thong, and some heels, completing the look with some of your moms lipstick, hiram walking in with some things in hand before noticing your look "i guess someone's really looking forward to getting fucked today hm" he smirks pulling you into a kiss and slapping a firm hand on your ass.

"yes sir" you smile groping at his thick bulge in his pants "i wanna try something new with you today" he smirks pulling the rope out and showing it to you "bondage" he adds and with no second thought you agree and he ties your hands behind your back before taking off his clothes, you immediately get to work on licking his heavy muscles all the way down to his abs and then his meaty cock.

"you want it" he asks slapping the tip on your lips leaving a hint of red behind on it "mhmmm" you moan at the nice taste "good thing it's all yours" he says slowly moving into your warm mouth and fucking it roughly, his tip constantly slamming into the back of your throat and you had no choice but to take it all as your couldn't pull of, hirams hands wrapped in your hair to keep you on him.

your nose engulfed in the older mans pubes, the slightly sweaty scent floating around in your nose making you a little loopy but felt good "your mom never wants to do stuff like this, she says it's to rough but your slutty ass does whatever daddy tells you right" hiram says throwing his head back before cumming in your mouth, his salty load filling your mouth to the brim, when he pulls out he instantly puts his hand over your mouth.

"swallow boy" he sternly orders with a deep voice forcing you to down it all "good boy" he kisses the top of your head before spinning you around and putting you face up ass down, him getting a lovely view of your hole behind the thong, he doesn't bother to take of the heels and clothes, wanting to think of you as a prostitute who he just paid to take his cock.

he fingers you for a little but not before putting a ball gag on your mouth to silence your loud moans, after opening you up with his thick fingers he pushes his now hard cock into you, feeling those gummy walls he loves so much tighten around him as he begins fucking you, he doesn't take into consideration how hard his hips are moving he just knows your ass feels to good to stop.

"you like your stepdad's big cock ruining you" he asks pulling you up to him by the hair, his arms wrapping around you to keep you right on him as he continued plowing your hole, all you could do was moan some yes's as the ball gag stopped you from talking and your mind was being fucked numb right now.

"fuck i wanna make you my new wife, keep your tummy filled with my cummy kids all the time and hope you get pregnant" he begins kissing down your neck and feeling all over your body, specifically your stomach, rubbing all over it as he felt his climax coming closer and wanted to fill that belly to the brim with every single drop of his potent cum.

"you wanna be daddy's new wife" he asks one more time to which you eagerly nod giving him the go to cum in you, his cum pushing out your belly enough to make you look pregnant, his hips fucking into you for a little longer to ride out his high before pulling out and plugging you up, he leans down beside you and whispers "you're gonna make a great mom in 9 months" before kissing your cheek.

taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @kadenvatsune @fuckshft @wompwomp-1mh3re

[anniflamma]

This isn't a question, but rather a love letter to your art<3.

Thanks to you, I've started enjoying Greek mythology and the Bible again (I mean from a point of artistic, mythological, historical, and theological analysis; my status with any kind of religion is being agnostic XD).

And I already enjoyed Epic the Musical, but I really love the designs you make, how you empathize with the symbolism and lore of the Gods when designing them, and how you make Odysseus so human with his crude expressions that makes me empathize with him (And he's one of the characters I hated the most from Greek mythology lol)

And then there’s your art about the bible, I have to admit that I tend to avoid the biblical religion because of the weight it still has on our daily lives, the damage it has done from the past to this day, and how they deny it with current hypocrisy (I live in Spain, there the official religion is catholic), but your lgbt drawings have really encouraged me to open the bible and see it from an objective and neutral point of view, and just enjoy it as another book and not as something I’m forced to follow.

Also I didn’t know there was so much LGBT content in the bible XD Seriously, thank you so much, if you had a patreon, I would pay you for the amount of happiness and culture you have given me (^///^)

By the way, reading your posts I found out that you recently experienced an internet drama that has become so popular lately. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that both you and that poor artist had to go through this, that human hypocrisy has no limits or shame, and that I agree with everything you say. Just because we like a character or an author doesn't mean we agree with their crimes or ideologies.

I hope you have a nice day<3

Hi! I’m sorry it took me a while to respond! I mean it, I’ve read this over and over, and it makes me so happy. I’ve been thinking about how to respond, but sometimes it's hard to get it out into words.

It makes me so happy that my biggest interests make others interested in it too. Heck, when people ask questions, I get all giddy!

Talking about biblical/christian saints, greek myths, history, different cultural views and changes was kind of the whole point of why I started this tumblr blog. I have so many drafts filled with random info about LGBTQ+ saints..... Now… I post mostly thirsty drawings of greek gods with hairy chests... T.T

And I sympathize a lot when it comes to religious trauma. I consider myself lucky in these matters, my mom is Catholic, and she has her views that I don’t agree with and hurtful. Yet she still supports me in her way and watching my bible retelling animatics, everytime I post a new bible animatic, she writes me: "What have you done to Daniel..."

I also have my hurts and anger towards hypocrisies too, and I guess this is my way of countering that?

LGBT content in the Bible is something that really fascinates me. I think it's important to keep in mind that people from about 2,500 years ago had very different views when it came to gender and sex compared to how we see it today. In a way, the Bible does have strict social gender expectations, and if you didn’t fit in, then you weren’t considered part of that gender. But at the same time, it acknowledges that your sex. I think it’s in the Talmud were it discusses the fact that, throughout the Bible, there were about eight genders:

Zachar: male.

Nekevah: female.

Androgynos: having both male and female characteristics.

Tumtum: lacking sexual characteristics.

Aylonit hamah: identified as female at birth but later naturally developed male characteristics.

Aylonit adam: identified as female at birth but later developed male characteristics through human intervention.

Saris hamah: identified as male at birth but later naturally developed female characteristics.

Saris adam: identified as male at birth but later developed female characteristics through human intervention.

Some scholars even believe that Abraham and Sarah were Tumtum. A Tumtum is not considered to be very distinct but rather flexible between male and female sex/gender—"sometimes he is a man, and sometimes he is a woman." The simple fact that God said Abraham had a womb and from it, he would have children. Some say that this is why he is a Tumtum, while some historical linguists argue that ancient Hebrew didn’t have the vocabulary for male genitalia yet. Both arguments are valid, and I like them both!

There’s tons of stuff I could bring up—Joseph with his princess dress, Naomi and Ruth, David and Jonathan, and the discussions around whether Daniel was a Saris Hamah or a Saris Adam. We know he was called a saris, but we’re just not sure which. And then there's Jael, whose story is filled with a lot of phallic symbolism, and even her name is very gender-neutral.

I think I’m going to end here. I could yap about these things forever! But thank you again taking your time writing to me and I hope you also have a nice day! <3

[39472034658449305249465224devils]

his heart is so much more beautiful than sigurds and it is a competition

i miss eltoshan

[riptides-n-roses]

dirty secret - seth rollins (18+)

⛧ pair - seth rollins (architect era) x reader

⛧ warnings: unprotected p in v, biting, hickeys, trying not to get caught, cre@mpie, consensual sex, little hint of fluff, hate sex. (Honestly idk if this contains angst but i'll go ahead and add this as a warning)

⛧ he's an absolute cutie and i feel that he should have some smut written about him too; i will say right now that this is taken place around 2015 authority era. so imagine rollins in his architect character with the championship. :)

⛧ after seth rollins costed you a win for the championship, you've started to hate his guts and he hated yours too. but what if the two of you were hiding something...

⛧word count: 1.7K

Backstory:

You were one of the top babyfaces of WWE and heavily adored by the audience. The way you competed against female superstars always caught their attention. You were insanely talented with your move-sets and your finisher (which was a double arm grab curb stomp.) However, The Authority took notice of this, including the WWE world-heavyweight champion, Seth Rollins.

One night, you had a match against Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship. As soon as you were about to hit your iconic finisher, Rollins came out to the ring, leaving you confused and distracted, not realizing that Nikki was rolled under the ring, and her twin sister, Brie Bella, disguised as her. You shrugged and went back to your match. However, Brie quickly rolled you over for the cover.

1...

2...

3...

It was over. Nikki Bella is still the Divas Champion. After Nikki and Brie leave the ring to celebrate her victory, you sat in the ring with disbelief. But also, pure anger. You turned your attention to Rollins who was still watching you from the titantron, with a shit-eating grin on his face, proud that he prevented you from reaching a milestone you worked hard for. The audience roared with excitement as you quickly left the ring and made your way to Rollins, delivering a slap across the face. He was stunned as you left the arena.

Backstage, you were stopped by the Authority to ask you something.

“Y/N, we’ve been taking notice of you and your moves and we’ve got to say. You are talented.” Stephanie spoke, looking you up and down with a smile.

“Um…Thanks?” Your tone was full of confusion. “But, No Offense at all, why are you speaking to me about that?”

“Well Y/N…” Triple H chimed “You see, The Authority always does what’s best for business. And we’ve agreed that the newest member…should be you.”

Your eyes widened. You? A member of The Authority? You wouldn’t. You couldn’t. You’re already a loveable superstar with the audience. Why change that now for absolute power?

“I…I don’t know. I’m already happy with where I am. The WWE Universe seems to agree too. I wouldn’t give that away with all due respect. Besides, I refuse to be in the same group as Seth Rollins who’s literally ruined my opportunity tonight to be a champion.” You wanted to puke mentioning that name.

“We understand your frustration.” Stephanie replied. “But, it wasn’t our decision for him to prevent that. That’s why we’re here to bring an offer.”

“And what would that be?”

“You. In The Authority. If you join us, you can have any opportunity you could ask for. We’ll even get you your deserved rematch for the Divas Championship with any qualifications that you desire. All it takes is for you to do what’s Best. For. Business.”

Stephanie’s words seemed to give you some interest, your thoughts hypnotized with visions of you under the faction. You raised your eyebrows with excitement but also anxiety. Were you willing to give away everything you achieved just because you’ve always dreamed to be champion? Were you going to fall trap to their words? Were you…going to turn heel?

Before you could speak, an angry Seth Rollins storms in to where you and the Authority were, demanding an answer from you.

“What the actual hell, Y/N?” he yelled. “Do you not understand who you’re dealing with? I’m Seth freakin’ Rollins!”

“AND?! You think I care?” you screamed back at him. “You cost me the match I’ve busted my ass for. And for what? That should’ve been ME with the championship! And I would’ve been champion right now if it wasn’t for you ruining it you son of a bitch!”

Your words echoed all through backstage, the audience cheering, chanting your name around the arena. The Authority were shocked with your recent change in behavior. You’ve never spoken like that before and it shocked many. You and Rollins began to stare each other down, both of you delivering cold stares to each other’s faces. You shook with absolute anger while staring him down. You hated him. He hated you. But the WWE Universe seemed to grab an interest with this heated moment between you two, hoping an intergender match would come to be to settle your new feud with the heavyweight champion.

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

Present:

Another episode of Monday Night Raw had arrived. Tonight, you had a match with Paige to gain momentum to have your rematch with Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship. Seth Rollins, on the other hand, had a match with Randy Orton, after he betrayed him last week during a handicap match with Roman Reigns. The question was…where were you? And where was Seth Rollins? No one knew your whereabouts neither his. Anytime there was a text or call, neither of you answered. When Monday Night Raw started, Stephanie came out to make an address to the WWE Universe.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw! Tonight, there’s going to be matches with superstars you all love and new opportunities to be brought to the table. But, there is a huge problem. Y/N and your WWE World-heavyweight champion, Seth Rollins- “the WWE Universe booed to his name, making Stephanie laugh a bit. “They’re not here! We’ve been trying to get in contact with the two superstars and nothing has been done now. However, that doesn’t mean any changes. The Authority is confident that Rollins and Y/N WILL be here tonight. We’ll do everything we can to have them perform. With that said, ENJOY THE SHOW!”

The WWE Universe, including the staff and locker rooms, were confused as to why you and Seth were missing. You never missed any day away from Raw before. So why tonight?

The truth was you and Rollins were at the arena. However, what no one knew was that you and Seth were in his locker room, leaving hot breathy kisses all over each other as you bounced on his hard cock.

“F-fuck Seth…” you moaned, your breasts jiggling with each thrust. Seth had a tight grip on your ass while the other hand was around your hip. His groans making you even wetter.

“Good girl. Take every inch of my cock like the slut you are.” He muttered, his grip on your ass getting tighter, white knuckles forming. He was enjoying how you took his length, his tip always hitting your spot with each thrust.

“Y-you know…The Authority’s not going to like this.” You whined, not wanting him to stop fucking you like this. His thrusts were deep and slow, making sure your walls will remember his shape.

“Oh, shut up. They’re not going to do anything. Besides, this will be our little dirty secret.” He replied, his face going up to one of your breasts, roughly sucking on some skin. You gasped from how he sunk his teeth into your flesh, leaving bite marks and hickeys all over your breasts – you were lucky to have ring gear that didn’t show your breasts or cleavage.

“Fuck, baby…” He groaned “Why haven’t we been doing this before?” His hands now grab your ass as he thrusts a little faster. You threw your head back, covering your screams with one hand so neither of you would get caught.

“You…You know I still hate your guts, right?” you giggled, making Rollins deliver a hard slap across your ass, earning a whine from your lips.

“I hate you too…but why do I love this so damn much?” He asked with breathy moans, “You’re still a little brat. Don’t forget that.”

“I could care less…fuck right there…You’re still an asshole”

“I know, sweetheart. Now be quiet and take this dick like a good little bitch.”

As much as you both hated to admit it, you both drove each other crazy, sexually and in a weird sort of way romantically too. But that would’ve been way too soon. Besides what would the WWE Universe think if they found out about your hidden relationship? Seth Rollins, a total heel who’s also a huge asshole. You, an adored babyface who deserves to be champion. You two could never let them find out. Not now and not anytime soon.

You lost your thought when you felt another slap on your ass from Seth, his thrusts getting sloppy. You knew he was going to cum. You hope he came inside of you, to remind you about your secret. Only he could fuck you this good and make you never want to stop things with him. You’d do crazy shit for him if you wanted to.

“Baby…I’m getting close. I’m going to cum in you.” He growled as his thrusts get faster, earning high pitched moans from your lips. He fucks you way too good.

“M-Me too…” You were shaking, desperately to cum your stomach tightening for release.

“I know baby…Remember we got to be quiet. We don’t want no one finding this out do we?”

You shut him up by pressing your lips against his – muffled moans as he came in your pussy, you following him, his arms holding your hips down tightly as he rode out his orgasm. His warm cum leaking out of you made you beg for more. You stayed on top of him, his cock still inside of your cunt as you looked into his eyes, he gave you that same cocky smile like he did that night.

“Fuck, baby…You drained me like that. I don’t know if I’ll have enough energy for my match tonight.” He laughed, leaving another slap on your ass cheek. You giggled as you wiggled your ass, your cunt throbbing from how sensitive you were.

“Same here…How are we supposed to tell everyone where we were?” You asked, your breaths were hoarse.

“We don’t. And this stays between us. Understood?”

“Whatever you say, asshat.”

You and Seth looked into each other’s eyes, with a stare down, heavy breathing coming from the both of you. As you laid your head in the crook of his neck, he played with some strands of your hair, admiring you.

“You know…I been meaning to ask you. Are you still mad at me for costing you a title match?” he mocked.

“Hmm…maybe.” You chuckled, surprised that he recognized that he was wrong for that.

“How about…I take you out for dinner and eat your cunt as an apology?” he offered “Besides, we need to get ready for our matches.”

“Hm…Sounds like a plan” You replied.

You raised your head and smiled at him before giving him another kiss

“Even though we’re supposed to hate each other, I actually like you.”

[voxtechemployee]

Got another angels (saint Peter, Adam, lute, Emily) x reader request lol;

How would they react with a reader who is a redeemed sinner? The reader still maintains some of their old hell habits—cursing a lot and very comfortably, cursing with words like “Christ on a stick—“, not trusting anyone, pda is different in heaven vs hell, ect

you're good! this is actually kind of interesting to think about!!

༉‧₊˚. SAINT PETER ₊˚. in the bible, saint peter actually doubts jesus multiple times and this shows that he is capable of doubt, even against heaven ₊˚. and meeting a redeemed sinner changes his perspective on a lot of things about the place he calls home ₊˚. though sometimes your foul mouth makes him cringe a bit, he knows that humans are flawed by nature - but don't expect the language to catch on with him haha ₊˚. he's weak for being flirted with, so there's definitely moments where he finds himself getting a little too wound up when you're flirting with him in public ₊˚. though he never pushes you to trust others, aside from just soothing you when you get nervous about someone's intentions; he knows you just need time to adjust!

ೃ⁀➷ ADAM ➷ of course this fucking asshole is going to do anything he can to prove that you don't belong in heaven ➷ which, because of both of you ramming heads so frequently, definitely turns into a hate-sex situationship ➷ both of you are foul-mouthed, and sometimes even he has to be the one to go "(name), take a chill pill or something- fucking holy shit-" ➷ you've definitely both gotten into trouble for being a little too public with your affections before, but it never seems to stop either of you from being flirtatious little angry shits with each other

₊˚ପ⊹ LUTE ⊹ when riled up, this girl is the queen of saying foul and dirty things and she even beats YOU at your own game in private ⊹ in public, she's much more reserved - she's better at keeping herself able to fit in than you are ⊹ she also doesn't really like you at first because she agrees with adam; you shouldn't be in heaven and it's a shame that you're such an insult to the ways of hell ⊹ it takes much longer to win her over than it does adam and even then, she's not a fan of your behavior and takes it upon herself to correct it whenever she can (even though it's incredibly hypocritical)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ EMILY ❥ emily is very excited to know a sinner made it to heaven! she knew that charlie was right and souls can be redeemed, and you're the perfect example of that! ❥ sort of. your habits are a bit too rough around the edges and you have a really bad habit of saying things that make her blush like crazy in public ❥ but you're new! you're not used to the rules and regulations of heaven yet, and that's okay because she can teach you ❥ you convince her to cuss one time when you're alone, and she does a little giggle and just whispers "fuck" under her breath, and then grins at you like a champion

[slut4msby]

don't fuck your co-workers. kuroo tetsurō x fem!reader

+ tags & warnings; heavily suggestive, implied smut, use of the word "slut" like once & reader deffo sleeps around

+ a/n; listen to the title guys, don't fuck ur co-workers pls its not good and this does include dating, it's BAD (been there done that). also this is my longest one-shot yet (wc; 1544) AND first none inarizaki one-shot I AM A CHANGED WOMAN

Don’t fuck your co-workers.

That is the one unspoken rule of the workplace, right? It ruins the dynamic and adds unneeded tension to an already dreaded environment. But what if having sex with your coworkers is the only way to make it to the top. You were smart, you knew that. But more than your brains you had the looks. And even more dangerous, you knew how to use them. Use them to your advantage. Low of you? Maybe. Did it work? Yes. 

You can’t help but let out a sigh at the emails sitting in front of you. Who knew having a job meant you would actually have to do work. Maybe becoming a sugar baby would have been the easier option. As the music plays throughout your headphones, trying to find some motivation to respond to the endless company emails that sit in front of you. Maybe you should just walk out now and marry rich. 

“L/N-san? Are you good?” Your coworker says as he walks past your desk.

Your head darts up, looking at the handsome figure in front of you. Kuroo Tetsurō. One of the men in the building you have yet to sleep with. Kuroo was seen as higher than you in the business, so maybe getting in bed with him would give you a better chance at being the business woman you had dreamt of. 

“Earth to L/N?” Kuroo says again, this time waving his hand to get your attention.

Crap. You had zoned out. You nod your head in response. Kuroo peered down at you with confusion. “Actually, Kuroo-san, can you give me a hand responding to this email? I am unsure what they are asking…” you manage to spit out.

“Oh sure, L/N.” He walks next to you, leaning down looking at your monitor. It was an email from a random sports team. Even Kuroo could agree this email was confusing. As he read the words on the screen, you turned to look at him. He looked hot whilst concentrating. Actually, he had always been hot. But one step at a time, right? 

“Oh I see what they are asking now.” Kuroo then goes on to explain the email and how he would respond. You couldn’t help but look at him through your eyelashes. Maybe you were having too much fun sleeping around in the office. Call it what you want, but it gave you some fun and it was efficient. Almost all of the men fell under your control, all of them but Kuroo Tetsurō.

 You could tell Kuroo was paying attention to what you were doing, and he couldn’t deny his attraction to you. Ever since you were hired. Starting off as the pretty secretary all the men would flirt with on their way in. Leaving you coffee and treats each morning. All of the men but Kuroo, who tried to show zero interest in you. Keeping your relationship strictly professional. It wasn’t because he did want anything to do with you. He wanted everything to do with you. However when you had first walked in the building Kuroo was seeing someone, a lady who would often pop in. She was beautiful, sweet and funny. Everyone loved her. However, you started seeing her less. And eventually not at all. Of course this was strange, you happened to ask Kuroo one morning when he walked in when he casually mentioned their breakup. It was sad, but also gave you an opening. You know you should listen to girl code or whatever, but he was too good to miss out on. Maybe your morals weren’t there, but fuck morals. 

“Ah! I get it now, thanks Kuroo-san.” You say shyly, maybe he liked the more innocent approach? “I’ll finish it off now.” You smile.

“No worries, L/N san.” He responded, “If you need anything else I’ll be in my office.”

Good to know.

You looked at him once again, with an innocent look in your eyes. This worked on everyone else in the building. Why not him? The day continued as you answered emails, all your coworkers leaving the building as the sun went down.

“Bye Y/N!” Your coworker Rin said as he walked past. Now it was just you and Kuroo. After your encounter today you were determined to get something out of him. At this point it didn’t mater if fucking Kuroo lead to a promotion or not. It was more like your personal mission, the only thing to satisfy you. Was it a sexual fantasy? Essentially. I mean Kuroo was toned, he had dark hair and dark eyes. Kuroo exerted a mysterious and intriguing vibe. But on top of that Kuroo was funny, smart, cunning, and powerful. He wasn’t head of the JVA but he was high enough where if you convinced him to put in a good word your business woman fantasy would become more than true. 

You got up from your desk, adjusting your skirt and fiddling with the buttons of your shirt. Each step brings you closer to Kuroo as you knock on the door to his office. “Kuroo-san? Are you still here?” You ask softly, as you slowly open the door you see Kuroo sitting in his seat. His laptop closed. 

“Oh hey L/N-san did you need something? I was just getting ready to go home.” Kuroo replies, staring at you. Staring at you. If he didn’t know any better he would have eaten you alive. Your hair now slightly dishevelled, your blouse slightly unbuttoned leaving your lacy bra and cleavage on display, your skirt hugging your hips perfectly, and the thigh high boots making your legs look ever so sexy. Kuroo swears you didn’t look like this last time he saw you. He had heard rumours of your escapades, seeing you know he didn’t blame the men you toyed with. If he could, he would take you right here right now.

“Oh, I just kinda felt scared and lonely by myself. Pathetic to admit I know…” You admit with a very vulnerable tone. It wasn’t a lie, you were lonely and a little scared. You slowly start walking over to Kuroo’s desk, he slowly gets up and walks towards you closing the gap. “Kuroo-san? Why do you keep calling me L/N-san? You refer to everyone else by their first name? Everyone else refers to me by my first name…”

Kuroo knew the reason. It was so he formed no unneeded attachment to you. He already felt attached. For why? He will never know, since the day he met you even being in a relationship he wanted you. Maybe that was part of the reason Kuroo had broken up with his partner, but who knows? Anyone would be naive to deny the sexual tension between you and Kuroo. Maybe it was finally his time to strike? 

“Well why do you call me Kuroo-san, y/n.” He says his hand now on your face, tilting your head up to look up at him. God he looked good. “You call everyone else their first name.”

“I-I don’t know Ku-Tetsurō.” You can’t help but stutter. You were usually the dominant one but something about him made you weak. He had full control over you right now, and you enjoyed it. You know if someone walked in it would be over. You had fucked multiple co-workers before, never in the office. You weren't sure if Kuroo wanted you like that, right here and right now.

“You know, Y/N I have never been the biggest fan of my name… Yet it sounds so pretty when you say it, princess.” He says moving his face closer to yours. God that nickname made you have butterflies, made you want to give him everything right now. 

“Tetsu-” Kuroo cuts you off.

“But I am not going to act dumb with you right now, sweetheart. I know what you have been up to. I know about Rin, Haru, Emori, Yuto, etcetera. About you being the office slut.” He says into your ear softly. “Don’t think I am like one of them Y/N.”

You weakly nod.

“And you know this is wrong?” Kuroo asks.

Another nod comes out as you look up at him with doe-like eyes.

“So, why do you continue?” Kuroo questions.

“I wanted none of them, none of them satisfied me, Tetsurō.” You weakly admit.

“And you think I can do that?” Kuroo responds.

“I know you can, Tetsurō.” 

Kuroo began kissing up your neck, your arms wrapped around his. He slowly lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist. The kiss now moving to your lips, desperate. You both knew how long you wanted this, since the day you sat down as a secretary. It was even better than he could imagine, your lips soft and tender. You tasted like the watermelon lip balm he would watch you apply. Wishing it was him touching these lips instead.

It was wrong, oh so wrong.

“Tetsu- I need more than this.” You whine, pulling away for some air.

“I know, princess. Why don’t you pack up and we can go home, hm?” 

An offer you couldn’t refuse.

Lets just say, you got that promotion and so much more.

©slut4msby

[munsster]

Hiiiiiiii loved your Eddie munson x wealthy!reader fix, I was wondering if you could do a billy Hargrove one? Thank you bby💗

billy with a wealthy s/o

A/N: its 100% giving reluctant allies to lovers gif cred: @selinasdalton

Warnings: partying, drinking/smoking, insults (mostly playful), pet names (sweetheart), implied sex

the FIRST thing i thought of was reader rolling with the popular crowd

ie harrington, tommy, carol etc

and seeing billy for the first time at a party

honestly, he probably offers you a drink or better yet a smoke

and you’re disgusted (horny)

and he thinks he’s totally gonna score (you accepted his drink offer)

neither of you really remember how or when it started

you can never agree on an anniversary date

but you both know he fell first

mainly because he was absolutely floored by just how many insults you had ready in your back pocket

“the ball goes in the basket, airhead” “you look like rob lowe if he was a woman and a munch” “my dog could sink more free throws than you and he’s 20 years old”

honestly, he was a little flattered by your creativity

which is why he knew he had to get in your pants somehow

and the first time you invited him over to your house, you wouldn’t hear the end of it

“hey, richie rich, where’s your robot maid?”

“oh, it’s her day off”

“…”

“i’m kidding,” you tease, “she’s not a robot”

he does not know how to handle the amount of shit you spoil him with

“billy… i really like your necklace”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“i can buy you a new—”

“i dont need a new one, sweetheart”

and you don’t know how to handle the fact that he doesn’t want to be spoiled

but you eventually figure out how to be sneaky with it

making him lunches (con caviar), ‘accidentally’ misplacing his shoes so you have to buy him new ones, taking him to fancy barbershops and paying half the cost so it still seems like he’s paying the full price

some may say it’s manipulative. you say it’s loving.

and the first time he buys you a meaningful, mildly expensive gift, you tear up a little bit

you bringing him to the golf course and finding out 1) he’s really good at golf and 2) he is excellent cougar bait

not that you want the over 60’s hitting on your man, but it’s very sweet when they send him drinks and call him a handsome young man

you definitely encourage him to play into it with some “how are you young ladies this evening?” and “don’t you have to be 21 to sit at the bar?” action

he has his fun with it, but he really only does it ‘cause it makes you smile

would never BEG for anything…. but he DOES get really sad when you don’t bring him to the mall to watch you try on shoes or sweaters or whatever.

yeah, if there’s something he’d beg for, it’s that

he lives for the moment you walk out of the dressing room, do a twirl, and ask (like clockwork) “do you like it?”

his answer is always yes, but you claim to know the differences in his tone that indicate what he actually likes

sometimes, if he’s lucky, you’ll let him sit inside the dressing room. watching you change. watching you change.

he is the reason you’re both banned from sears at starcourt

the first really expensive watch you gift him is INSANE

it has like four dials and you said something about alligator leather and 18 carat gold

he can’t decide between wearing it on special occasions to preserve its value or never taking it off because he loves you

when you do stay at his house, usually no ones home

but you have met max

and she likes to stay away from you

but you took her to get a new skateboard and you think that might’ve helped her warm up to you

just a smidge

now she lets you gossip about stupid boys and watch shitty action movies with her

she even promised she would go as croft’s robin for halloween if you swore you’d go as wilson’s batman

that was an interesting halloween for billy

your mansion house has this shiny ass gramophone in one of the downstairs offices

and you told billy that the last thing that had played on it was a glenn miller ‘best of’ album

and that was just not good enough for billy

so one night, he brought over his twisted sister vinyl and convinced you to dance with him while what you don’t know blasted through the brassy pavillon

he also may or may not have convinced you to make out with him while the rest of the record played

even though you drive a brand new, cherry red benz (convertible, he might add), you still love it when he drives the two of you in his camaro

but you also let him drive your car whenever he wants. and he wants to most of the time.

in fact, he’s pretty sure he drives your car more than you do

he also loves to let you dress him up

and do his hair (please practice that cute hairstyle you saw on him. he’ll think about your hands in his hair for hours on end)

even if youre just going on a chill diner date, you still drag him into your (now shared) walk-in closet and pick out these satin shirts and pressed slacks and the shiniest shoes he’s ever seen

but of course, most of your dates are lavish and breathtakingly creative, anyway, so he’s already dressed accordingly

his new catch phrase is something along the lines of “what happened to eating somewhere normal. like pizza hut”

sometimes, his only requirement is “as long as there’s no chandelier”

you flatter him so often, he gets grumpy on days you forget to call him handsome (or pretty boy, which has really grown on him)

typically, he wouldnt go for all the fuss and feathers, but he likes to see you happy.

and boy, does prettying him up make you happy

seriously, you get the wildest look on your face. it’s fulfilling enough that billy feels safe to say he’s content being your ken doll forever

if you’d let him

masterlist

[kiasnocturnality]

Which one of your characters has a thing for (consensual) hypno during sex? How would they react to their s/o asking them to be hypnotized? 👀

✩⋆ﾟ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: alois leblanc, desdemona nausikáa, va'ariniel ninelhuinn-taezerilen, taruqu'inel taezerilen 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: hehe this sounded fun <3 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: MDNI, NSFW content, smut, hypno kink, dubcon

. * ⋆ . · 　. ALOIS LEBLANC

✭ context is what matters most to this vampire. He finds it rather dull to hypnotise you if you're just together in bed like any other night. He'd much rather know you're giving yourself to him of your own will and desire.

✭ however, if you've decided to initiate a chase, he'll love to hypnotise you once he gets close enough. He wants to see the foggy confusion as you forget why you were running at all and start to stumble as though sleepwalking straight into his arms. He'll weaken his hold over your mind once he's securely squeezing you close to him with a fanged grin.

✭ "Oh? Have you had a change of heart, my sunlight~?"

. * ⋆ . · 　. DESDEMONA NAUSIKÁA

✭ oh she'll love to do it. Desdemona has the most powerful hypnosis out of everyone here and can completely override your will with just a spoken word. But she won't just agree to it, oh no. She'll stay completely silent while you beg for it.

✭ She wants to prove that you're so desperate to be under her control even without her persuading you to feel such a way. She's smile at you with her black cherry lips as you kneel at her feet. Maybe she'll even reach out and stroke your cheek with her knuckles just to let you know when you're starting to do a good enough job of begging.

✭ "That's my sweet little thing... you'll listen to every word I say, won't you? You need my commands more than anything else in the world..."

. * ⋆ . · 　. VA’ARINIEL

✭ Va'ari knows she's a bit of a control freak and that extends to the bedroom too when she's not in the mood to just unwind and be the one getting pampered; so, you catch her interest when you suggest she mesmerise you in bed.

✭ she'll agree but she won't do it right away, oh no. She'll wait until she's settled between your thighs with her fingers curling up to rub against your sweet spot each time she pistons her two fingers in and out of your sticky pussy. She only needs to make eye contact with you to mesmerise you and so, just as you're on the verge of orgasm...

✭ "look at me, sweetheart. There you go~ don't look away... don't cum. You're not allowed to cum until I say so~"

. * ⋆ . · 　. TARUQU’INEL

✭ Taru... isn't actually all that into it. You're his piece of truth in his charade of a life and he wants to always see you as your most authentic self, never being pupeteered the way he is every day.

✭ though, it does give him another idea... for a split second, he mesmerises you and claims he's changed his mind, letting that warm and fuzzy feeling fall over you to lure him into believing he's keeping your mind hostage. Between slow, firm thrusts into your warm walls, he kisses and nibbles your ear as he asks you filthy questions and you answer honestly each time, believing you're being made to do so.

✭ "Look at how filthy you are... moaning all these dirty answers out f'me..." He laughs lowly, "And you haven't even been mesmerised at all..."

𓋼𓍊⋆ﾟ like my work? why not: ⋆ support me ⋆ join my taglist  ⋆ follow/reblog

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[sensei-venus]

So this is what I was writing about the Demetri/Reader/Yasmine thing. Let me know if you want me to actually do something with it because I might actually make a full fic on it.

Basically it was a better play on S6, where instead of Demetri getting caught cheating on Yasmine, they are actually looking to start a poly relationship. Pretty early on in their relationship they realize that they BOTH like watching the other have sex with someone else. They tried it once and really liked it, but they quickly realized that wanted to be with someone they loved. After months of looking the both of them had come up empty handed.

When the tournament comes up and Demetri has to leave, Yasmine makes him promise that there will be no funny business when he’s gone. Of course he agrees, he didn’t really think about doing anything without her. Their interest in finding a third was never one sided so if Yasmine wasn’t into it then he wasn’t either. Yasmine would have to be there for another to ever happen.

So when he gets to the tournament he’s not thinking a lick about anything else but having fun during the matches.

So when his eyes wonder up to the stands on the upper level balcony and he sees something he can’t stop looking at, things start to change.

When he looks up to find one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen next to Yasmine his mind starts to wonder. He can’t seem to stop looking at her. She looks to be around their age, she curves and fluff, the way she bends over the railing to watch the matches has him kneeling. Her breasts spill over the rails and her chubby belly presses a little into the bars. He can see the smile that spreads across her lips every time a hit point is called. He can’t tell which cheer is hers but he can tell it’s angelic.

Soon the matches are over for the day and he is pulled off the mat by some of the other guys. Everyone heads out of the building. He doesn’t go after her but in a way he wishes he could. A whole bunch of the dojo members talk about going to a party later, one being hosted by the hotel for the tournament. The sound of a fun little party, with free drinks and loud music has him fuzzy so he decides to go. But before he does he makes a small detour back to the hotel room. In some kind of luck the other guys are off doing something else so he’s able to get the room to himself before they get back. He takes a quick shower and changes into some better clothes for the party.

He calls Yasmine while flopping onto the bed. He doesn’t mean to but he starts yapping about the girl in the stands. At first Yasmine wants to roll her eyes because she knew this was going to happen. But as he goes on and on about this mystery girl she starts to dabble on the imaginary going on in her head. The way her boyfriend talks, this girl is star stunting beautiful. The image of the girl he describes has her own heart thumping a little faster.

Maybe that’s why she tells him that if he can include her in any fun he might somehow have with this mysterious girl maybe she would be okay with him having some fun without her physical there with him.✨

The amount of sauciness I have in mind for this idea.😈



[swappingbryn]

Always Save Before You Exit

Kenny was tired of the drudgery of life, working, gym, his nagging girlfriend, even his friends were boring him. It didn’t matter that he was good looking, rode a motorcycle, he was just bored, which wasn’t helped by his tedious construction job.

He’d heard of a new service where you could rent out your body, you’d set the price, set all the limits, and if any conditions were violated, the rental would automatically end. He’d been thinking of doing a trip across the country during the summer, and this would help him be able to afford it.

He set up an appointment and heard them out. He wasn’t sure, but he figured he’d give it a chance, he had nothing to lose, if no one liked his price or the rules, they’d turn him down. He started simple, no smoking, no unprotected sex, no tattoos or permanent marks, he opted to be unaware of the time he was being rented, he chose not to give the person access to his memories, and then shot for the moon with the rental fee, $1,000/day, clicking “Save” after each page. Once he got to the last page, he clicked “Save” once again and walked out, unaware he didn’t click “Submit.”

As he walked out, he didn’t see anyone else around, but that was a mix of adrenaline and tunnel vision, as there was an old, thin man sitting in the corner who entered the room next to fill out his profile.

When Icarus walked into the room, he noticed the computer was still opened to Kenny’s profile, and he could still make edits. Icarus went to town making changes, knowing he’d love to have Kenny’s body. He changed the limits, the rules, the settings, even the price. And then he clicked “Submit,” finalizing Kenny’s account, and setting up his own.

No less than an hour after he arrived home, Kenny received an email saying his body had been rented. The email noted the renter agreed to everything Kenny listed, and so if Kenny accepted, no further bargaining was needed. Kenny was prompted with a warning when he clicked accept “Warning: All rentals over five days required additional disclosures. Are you sure you want to engage in this rental? All rental funds will be placed in escrow earning interest until the end of the rental period. Do you agree?” Kenny happily clicked Yes. He was expecting to wake up a few days later, with a huge deposit into his account.

However, Kenny was instantly unable to move, with his body moving on its own. He was petrified, thinking something had gone horribly wrong. His body was moving without him in control, he could hear his voice talking, “Hmm, this feels so good. This voice is so deep, and I’m so young and hot. This is the best use of my annual bonus from work. I don’t regret spending 7Gs got this body.” Kenny realized he never looked at the rental time, but figured while he hated this arrangement, it would only be for a week. His body went into his bedroom and jerked off, several times, with Kenny feeling it each time. Then his girlfriend came home and Kenny heard his voice say “Hey Clarice, want to have some fun?” To which he thought ‘how does he know her name?’ She relented after a few minutes and they fucked, over and over, with her moaning how much better it felt than usual. Kenny also realized how good it felt, and that his body wasn’t wearing a condom.

Kenny realized how much he’d fucked up. Whoever this guy was, he somehow had access to all Kennys memories, Kenny was aware of the rental, and apparently none of the rules were in play. Kenny felt his body smoking like a chimney, felt tattoos being applied, felt his body fucking like crazy, his girlfriend, random women, even men. It wasn’t until the eighth day Kenny was scared, as he was still unable to control anything.

This hell went on for days beyond count. Kenny eventually gave up and retreated into the recesses of his mind. Until finally, he woke up and had control. He woke up to kids running around, jumping on his bed.

His phone, which he knew was his, but it was much different and high tech-y pinged, “Thank you for using our service. The rental fee of $7,300 plus 5% annual interested has been deposited into your account. We hope you enjoyed your rental.” And “A deposit of $19,369.08 has been made to your account.”

Kenny ran from bed and looked in a mirror. He was old now, grey hair, leathered skin, he felt a craving for a cigarette which he instinctively lit, and he saw tattoos covering his arms and chest.

He ran to the rental office to demand answers. It turns out he now had six kids, from four different women, still the same shitty job, and the same bike. It was only then that he was shown a copy of his rental agreement. “No rules, full awareness, full memory access” was all that was written, not the pages of rules he set up. And then he saw that the rental amount was different too, rather than $1,000 per day it was $1. Kenny had given up twenty years of his youth for $7,300, and while that almost tripled in size, he now had a huge family, a bad job and a nicotine addition.

@malevessel for the picture and rental idea

[hoejosatoru]

Stress Reliever

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Chishiya (Alice in Borderland)

Summary: When y/n first meets Chishiya, she does not like him. However, when they are forced to become roommates at the beach, her opinion slowly starts to change. When Chishiya has a suggestion on how to manage stress, y/n can’t help but be intrigued. Ignore the boring ass title I could not think of anything better

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Readers skin and hair color/texture not specified, not proof read, teasing, eye contact, fingering, p in v sex, cream pie. Tried to keep Chishiya in character (bc I think he would be such a tease and lil shit but in a sexy way) but if he’s ooc oopsies MDNI

“What are you doing here?” You huffed, standing in the doorway of your new room. Or what was supposed to be your room. So why the hell was Chishiya of all people already there.

“I knew you’d find your way here eventually,” he replied, ignoring your question. The ‘here’ was the beach compound. You’d heard whispers of the place since you started playing and finally found it. It was exactly what you expected - though you weren’t sure what you expected in the first place - but you agreed to join. Not that you really had much of a choice once the caught you lurking around the place.

“You didn’t answer my question,” you pressed.

Chishiya rolled his eyes. “Seemed too obvious a question to answer. I live here.”

You scowled. “But I was assigned to this room.” You doubled checked the room number you were given and the one on the door. You were in the right place.

“Guess that makes us roommates then,” Chishiya replied, stretching lazily. His indifference grated your nerves.

“But you’re a guy.”

Chishiya snorted with laughter. “We’re in a lawless land playing life or death games and you think people care about rooms being coed?” You didn’t want to admit that it was pretty stupid to care about that, so you just grumbled a ‘whatever’ and shut the door behind you. 

You truly could not believe the odds that you would end up with him as a roommate. You met Chishiya in one of your first games, which happened to be a game of wits. Unfortunately, most of your competitors were lacking in that department, which led to their demise. You, however, figured it out quickly, which Chishiya took note of.

He made some comment about being surprised someone was able to get it, which you took as a condescending crack. You’d been watching him since the start of the game, noting how calm he was. Almost to the point of smugness. The comment, you felt, confirmed your initial impression. 

Little did you know that Chishiya was also watching you, (though he does watch everybody) taking an interest in you. You were much more calm than anyone else in the calm, save for him. He was also impressed with your cleverness, seeing through the trick of the game almost as quickly as he did. Almost.

You’d played only one other game with him after that, which you left you feeling the same way: he was a smug know it all. He had tried to engage in casual conversation with you, but you brushed him off. You weren’t looking to get close to people in these games. You’d seem first hand how they would pit people together and tear them apart. You didn’t need anymore emotional turmoil. Besides, you could definitely see the two of you clashing, what with his attitude.

Chishiya, however, was draw to your attitude. He appreciated your intelligence of course, since far too many people seemed to lack it around here. But he liked that you challenged him, he even liked when you rolled your eyes or scowled at him. The more you tried to push him away, the more he felt the desire to get close to you. To break down those walls and get to know more about you.

“You better not be a shitty roommate,” you stated, sitting down on the bed adjacent to his. It was the comfiest thing you sat on in weeks.

“Oh don't worry,” he smiled, “I’m an angel.” 

You wouldn’t go as far as to call him an angel, but you couldn’t deny that Chishiya was a good roommate. He didn’t go out partying and drinking like everyone else here, nor did he ever leave a mess. You still found him to be a bit smug at times, but your stance on him softened a bit as yo got to know him. Though your pride was preventing you from showing it that much.

Your visas often expired at similar times, leading you two to playing a lot more games together. You couldn’t deny that you felt safe with Chishiya being there. Well at least as safe as one could be in these games. The two of you silently formed an alliance and looked out for each other. You never let yourself get complacent, but having Chishiya around always made you feel that, no matter the odds, you would clear the game. 

Something that you couldn’t understand, though, was just how calm was. You prided yourself on being able to keep yourself calm during the games, but you still very much felt the stress. Chishiya, however, was on another level. He seemed bored, as if you were just playing for fun and not your lives. It was almost unnerving.

After a particularly difficult game, you couldn't resist asking him about when you got back to your room. “How do you do it?”

“Hmm? Do what?” Chishiya asked from his bed.

“Stay so calm. It’s... spooky,” you replied. You laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling. 

Chishiya let out a huff of laughter. “You look pretty calm yourself.”

“Yeah I look calm, but it takes a lot of work to stay that way. It doesn’t seem to bother you at all,” you replied. 

Chishiya smirked. “I didn’t know you were watching me so closely.” Actually he did, but he’d keep that to himself for now.

“You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“That thing where you deflect instead of just answering.”

Chishiya made a noise of amusement. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t really have an answer. I can’t change my circumstances, I don't see the point of freaking out about it.”

You sighed. As if it was that simple. “If I wasn’t your roommate, I’d be convinced you were an alien or a robot or something. I’m not fully convinced you don’t have to plug yourself in to charge up while I’m sleeping.”

Chishiya laughed, but said in earnest. “I am human, I can promise you that.” A silence fell between the two of you after that. You were often quiet together; it was one of the things you did appreciate about him. This silence, however, felt charged in a way you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

After some time, Chishiya spoke again. “You knew, there is a pretty effective way to destress.”

“What’s that?”

“Sex.”

Your head whipped around to him. You couldn’t have heard that right. “Sex?”

Chishiya smirked at your astonishment. “Yeah, sex. You know what that is right? Don’t tell me you’re a virgin,” he teased.

Your cheeks burned. “I am not a virgin,” you replied and immediately regretted it. It was true, but that absolutely sounded like something a virgin would say. It only made Chishiya laugh harder. “Oh shut up,” you grumbled, tossing a pillow at him. 

“Someone’s testy.” 

“So what? That’s your secret?” you questioned, “You just go around fucking people?” You couldn’t imagine how he had time for that. He never brought anyone to your room, thank god, and was never out for long.

“No,” Chishiya snorted, “I haven’t slept with anyone since coming here. I was just pointing out a fact. Sex helps with stress.”

Talking about sex with Chishiya was naturally making your brain think about having sex with Chishiya and that made your body react in a way you weren't expecting. You were flushed, feeling a prickle of desire. God were you really so stressed that you were lusting after him?

Sensing your hesitation, Chishiya continued. “I didn’t think I would have to spell it out for you, but it was almost an invitation.” You looked bewildered, which amused him. “Come here.”

Despite your hesitations, you followed his instruction. Chishiya sat at the edge of his bed and you stood between his legs. He looked up and down your body with a lopsided grin. You had grown accustomed to having to wear a bikini at all times at the beach; it was nothing new for him to see you like this. Yet, you felt so exposed under his gaze. You almost moved to cover yourself, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Chishiya’s hands found the back of your thighs, ghosting across your skin. “You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?” His voice was just above a whisper. One hand started to toy with your bikini bottom string. You held your breath as his eyes flicked up to yours. “Thought about me fucking you? You want it, don’t you?”

Your heard was quickened the longer his hands were on you. It felt so good to be touched by someone else in such a gentle way. That combined with his words was making you almost dizzy. “Seems like you’ve thought about,” you replied.

Chishiya yanked you forward by the back of your legs, making you fall into his lap. You legs landed on either side of his hips, leaving you straddling him. His face was closer yours now, the eye contact making your insides curl. “You’re that thing,” he teased, calling back to the comment you made. His hand was on the back of your neck now and you found yourself drifting impossibly closer to him. “But I’m not afraid to admit when I want someone thing.” His thumb brushed over your lower lip, making you let out a shaky breath. “So tell me, y/n, do you want me, too?”

You let go of the breath you were holding. “Yes.” Chishiya smirked triumphantly. He started to lean and you followed. Your lips were just a millimeter apart when he pulled back just to laugh at the frustrated look on your face.

You scowled. “Assho-”

His lips connected to yours before you could finish. God he was a good kisser. His lips moved against yours perfectly, his tongue slipping into your mouth with ease. Your body reacted so quickly to him, aching with desire. The need for more.

Chishiya sensed it, smirking into the kiss. His hands trailed up your back, finding the string of your bikini top. He undid the knot, tossing it to the side. He squeezed your tits as your kissed, pinching your nipples to make you gasp. You pushed his sweatshirt off his body, before yanking his shirt off.

“Mmm, someone’s eager, huh?” He commented.

“Shut up.”

In a flash you were flipped over and caged in by Chishiya’s body. “You’re not in the position to be telling me to shut up.” You narrowed your eyes at him, which made the corner of his lip curl up. You had to admit, him on top of you was a nice view.

You threaded your fingers through his blond locks, pulling him back in. His chest was pressed completely against yours. The weight of him and the warmth of his skin on yours soothed a nagging deep inside you. You wanted him closer. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him in. You rolled your hips up to meet his, grinding against him. A soft moan slipped from his slips, giving you a sense of satisfaction.

Chishiya’s hand came down, pressing your hips back into the mattress. You were about to huff in protest, but stopped when he started toying with the strings on the side of your bikini. He kept his lips on yours as he worked. Your pussy throbbed with anticipation while slowly, so slowly, pulled the knot undone. Instead of taking it off right away, he traced the line of where your bikini met your lower stomach to your other hip. His feather light touch gave you goosebumps.

He repeated his actions on the other side. You were buzzing with anticipation for him to pull the bottoms off you. Of course, he didn't right away. He just continued to kiss you, his fingers ghosting of your lower stomach, inner thighs.

“Stop being a fuck tease,” you grumbled.

“Oh? And what would you like me to do, y/n?” Chishiya mused. His eyes were locked on yours as he continued to let his fingers dance over your skin. You lost a bit of your nerve under his stare.

“You know what I want.”

Chishiya smirked. “I’m not a mind reader.”

You groaned. “Touch me! Finger me- fuck do something!”

He chuckled, hooking his finger into the fabric, but not pulling it down. “A please would be nice.”

You were too desperate to fight. He was so close, yet so far from touching you. You couldn’t stand it. “Please.”

“Good girl.” He pulled the bikini off of you completely. His eyes scanned your naked body, making you feel shy under his critical stare. Still, you refused to show it and let him have his look. “Pretty.” His finger slid through your wetness, making you gasp. “And soaked. Didn’t know you wanted me that bad.”

“Are you gonna do something or just talk all day?” you snapped. Chishiya didn’t challenged your remark, instead he slid a finger inside you. You let out a content sigh as he curled it, easily finding that spot inside you that made you weak. He licked and sucked at your breasts as he worked his fingers over you. He was more skilled than you cared to admit, easily making the curl of pleasure in your lower stomach. 

Chishiya played with your clit, rolling and pinching it, noting how each different move made you react. He slid a second finger inside you, stretching you and pumping faster. He loved how squirmed, how your chest heaved with ragged, pleasured breaths. He kept a neutrally smug look on his face, but internally his composure wavered. He wanted to know how your pussy would feel squeezing his cock instead of his fingers.

“Fuck, Chishiya, don’t stop,” you moaned. It had been so long since you felt this good. Chishiya rolled your clit just as you liked, sending you over the edge. He sat up so he could watch as you cum. He loved how your head fell back with pleasure, the sweet sounds that escaped you, the way your body fully submitted to his touch. 

“You look good like that,” he teased as you caught your breath. He got himself out of his shorts, your cheeks flushing at the sight of his naked body. He was bigger than you thought he would be, thicker too. “You realize you’re staring, right?”

You went red and mumbled, “Sorry.”

Chishiya laughed at you. “That's alright, I like when you watch me.” He grabbed the back of your thighs and yanked you closer to him. “I see you doing it all the time, you know.” He let his tip slide through your slick pussy lips. If you were so distracted by that, you may have been more embarrassed by his words. “I like it a lot. So I want you to watch while I fuck you.” He pressed his tip into your throbbing hole, but didn’t go any further. He leaned over, getting his face closer to yours. His voice dropped to a whisper.“You’re gonna look me in the eye when  I make you cum, got it?” 

You were barely audible when your replied, “Yes.” You liked him like this. Suddenly his smugness wasn’t annoying, rather it was an aphrodisiac. His demeanor, his voice, his stare, all of it just made you want him more.

Chishiya kept his eyes on yours as he slowly pushed into you, allowing you both to enjoy every inch. You sighed at the sweet stretch he have you, loving the feeling of being so full. Chishiya gripped your hips as he thrust into you. He was right, you felt even better wrapped around him like this. “Feels fucking amazing.”

He fucked into you with ease, each long, deep thrust making your head spin. You couldn’t believe how good he was, it almost wasn't fair. His cock hit that sweet spot inside you, making you gasp. “Please Chishiya,” you begged, not even sure what you were asking for.

“Feels good, huh?” he questioned, his thumb finding your clit. He rubbed circles over the sensitive bud. Your eyes screwed shut as the pleasure almost went over to overstimulation. “Look at me, y/n. Let me see you cum.” You forced your eyes open upon his demand. Making eye contact with him made everything feel more intense. Within moments that knot of pleasure inside you snapped, spreading a warm surge of pleasure all over your body.

“Fuc-nngh ‘Shiya!”

Chishiya couldn’t hold on with your pussy squeezing him like a vice while you moaned his name like that. His hips stuttered as he let out a low groan of your name mixed with curses. He fucked you slow and deep, letting you both savor it.

When you both finally finished, he laid himself down next you. You felt compelled to curl into him, not wanting to be without his warmth. For a second you were afraid you made a mistake, but then his arm wrapped around you and pulled you on to his chest. It was the first time you felt soothed since entering the games.

“I hate to admit it, but you were right. I feel less stressed,” you said.

“I love when you admit I’m right,” Chishiya mused, running his fingers along your spine. “While you’re in a good mood, I have a confession to make.”

“What?”

“I arranged for us to share a room here.”

If he had told you that a week ago, you may have been annoyed. But now? “I have a confession, too. I’m glad you did.” 

[thatbadadvice]

Help! I Am Entitled To Do A Bone!

The Ethicist, New York Times, 14 October 2023:

My wife became pregnant soon after we met, when our relationship was “fluid” and non-monogamous. We agreed to raise the child together and, at my urging, to have an open relationship. However, our relationship since has been monogamous. My wife was injured during the birth of our second child and now finds sex painful and avoids it. (We had a terrific sex life before the injury.) When I broached the topic of having other partners and reminded her of our agreement to have an open relationship, she became irritated and said that having kids changed things. Subsequent discussions resulted in a stalemate. I very much enjoy my wife’s company and love her and our two kids. I have no intention of separating from my family. Nonetheless, I harbor resentments that my wife reneged on her commitment to me, and this, together with the lack of sex, is creating a wedge between us. Would it be ethical to take a mistress, given her earlier promise, and if so, can I do this discreetly so as to avoid tension and perhaps divorce? Or should I tell her I am planning to pursue this course of action? Or does the inherent risk of infidelity mean I should accept near-celibacy indefinitely? — Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld,

The restraint with which you signed yourself "name withheld" rather than the more accurate "big fun deep-dicking from which I have been blocked by my hateful bitch wife" is admirable in the extreme. You are a credit to your gender, sir.

But on to the matter at hand, specifically, your hand, to which you have been relegated in lieu of the aforementioned big fun deep-dicking. Your wife waited to drop the vicious bomb of possession upon you until she had roped you, an unwitting fancy-free man of leisure (entitled to all the benefits thereof indefinitely and in perpetuity), into marriage and fatherhood of not one but two children — children you could have in no way have known would result from your consistently and entirely monogamous coupling over many years, and moreover, could never have expected would complicate the terms of the thing y'all talked about one time about boning other randos?? And now this self-interested harpy dares to refuse to you the clear promise of sex with absolutely anyone other than her at any time ever, which she made and guaranteed in surety after you'd been fucking for a minute? A promise you had in theory enjoyed by writ and at length in your mind based on a conversation y'all had years ago before the entire terms and nature of your relationship changed in deep and meaningful ways to literally the one other person involved in said relationship, to wit, the worst person?

A bait-and-switch of the kind your cruel and fickle wife has pulled on you cannot, should not, be tolerated. Are you — is any man, really — obligated to just not fuck his wife in addition to whoever else he wants to fuck ever? Just because she "finds sex painful"? Sex isn't painful for you, and doesn't that matter just a little bit more? Isn't it her job to have kind of a bad time so that you can have a good time? Isn't that what it is to be a woman and a mother? And she just casually eschews her duty to put up with whatever the fuck you propose? Because WHY? Because "having kids changes things"? I ask you: changes things for who? For the person who carried children in her body and experienced deep and lasting personal and physical injury? Or for you, the person who matters most?

It seems your wife has an unfortunately topsy-turvy view of partnership, one in which she believes two individuals are allowed to dictate the terms of a relationship that may change over time due to a variety of mitigating factors that one or both of you may or may not have control over. Would that she realized that her sexual needs are not merely incidental to yours, but actively irrelevant. If only she would simply give you that one, small thing (in addition to two children).

But alas, she seems sadly fixated on her own needs to the exclusion of the fact that you would like to do a bone upon her or frankly anyone, you are not picky, as long as she doesn't leave you or take your children away or do anything really to upset the world as you would like it to be, which is a classically controlling woman-type thing that women do because they are so self-involved.

Obviously you're really grappling with the profound ethical implications of lying to your wife about taking a mistress, and you're trying to find literally any other solution to just finding a girlfriend and fucking the shit out of her and hoping your wife doesn't find out. That's clearly the very last thing you want. But since you've shown such magnanimous restraint in not doing so, you probably should just do it and see what happens, it'll probably all be totally fine! And if it isn't, eh, idk? Were you supposed to just survive on beejays and handies forever? You tried your very best not to! And that's what will matter most to your children in the end.

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[fallenhunnyapple]

I should stop being a coward and talk about my Thoughts and Ideas more.

I wholeheartedly believe that sex was not a concept before it was invented for procreation amongst Earth creatures. All Angels were sexless and most were genderless (I have thoughts about Lucifer + Sera and gender) and Angels were Created via Divinity, not any form of procreation. As such Lucifer Would Not know anything about Sex in the Garden before learning from the humans.

That being said, I have AU ideas and I really need a better name for this AU cuz I just refer to it as Bonobo AU (for reasons that will become clear later) and I can't keep doing that-

Anyway. Lilith and Adam constantly butt heads. They're both stubborn and troublemakers. Lucifer is tasked with helping them get along and... Well. It works. Just not in the way the Elder Angels hoped.

They decided they both wanted Lucifer instead and Lucifer, being just a little guy, got extremely overwhelmed by two tall hot people and was immediately subbed. And while Lilith and Adam would still butt heads, whenever arguments happened, it would just be resolved with threesomes (hence why bonobo au, where they solve all conflicts with sex). Adam and Lilith would not get involved with each other sexually at all if Lucifer wasn't involved. And even then, they were Not interested in even touching each other. They viewed each other more as siblings and would never engage in anything more.

It all eventually went south because Lilith didn't like the rules/limitations the Angels put on them and Luci wanted More for humanity, for his lovers, but Adam was completely content with the life they had and didn't want to change things so the divide was made. And to Adam, Lilith stole Luci from him, Luci left him behind for Lilith, when it was 100% an ideological thing and nothing to do with Luci wanting Lilith more than Adam. Because he loved them both the same.

And when it came to the Apple, Adam was always planned to come back to them, Luci especially wanted him to, he missed him, but Adam refused. He was too stubborn and mad. Eve was easier to convince because she was introduced to the usual conflict resolution tactic and that sure was a lot for her, of course she agreed. But Adam refused to have a part in it.

And it sure made future post-fall interactions awkward because Lucifer still wanted to engage in the Usual conflict resolution but that wasn't exactly viable anymore. But that desire never went away. And neither did his feelings.

Of course it ends in Adamsapple. Lilith leaves Lucifer over ideological differences, which he respects, it was what caused the first split after all. But that also means he redoubles his efforts to get Adam back. Which does work because of course Adam never got over him. Mom said it's his turn with the angel devil

[mendessi]

the moon (alternate ending)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: you're with the millers on the day of the outbreak and it tears you apart that you couldn't help save sarah

word count: 7.1k

warnings: canon typical violence, death, no smut in this one sorry, soft joel, angry joel, dad joel, all the joels, literal heartbreak, mentions of sex, you're a trauma nurse, no use of y/n, mentions of unknown pregnancy/miscarriage (reader does not end up with child in the end)

author's note: here is the original part one to the moon and the stars series, this is a bonus alternate ending that i thought would be interesting (: this is pretty much the same story as the first one, minor changes and of course the alternate ending this is dedicated to @josephquinnswhore because now they don't have to sell their kidney (;

masterlist

minors DNI

"Is he awake?" You asked as you peaked your head into the Miller residence.

"He's still sleeping. His alarm has been going off for like five minutes." Sarah replied. You made your way to Sarah and kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna start breakfast. We're having pancakes."

"He doesn't like pancakes." You said pouring the coffee grounds into the coffee maker so it would be fresh when Joel came downstairs. You weren’t a coffee drinker but your boyfriend was.

"We do, though." Sarah smiled cheekily and you returned one back to her.

"I'll go get him up." You said making your way up the stairs towards Joel's bedroom. You sighed at the fact that his alarm was indeed still going off. The man would sleep through an earthquake if he had the opportunity. Luckily for him they weren't much a threat in Austin, Texas.

You had been seeing Joel for a little over a year now since he came into the ER, needing stitches from an accident he had on a job site. Joel couldn't stop flirting and the fact that you refused to give in to him made him want you even more. He only flirted because the thought of a needle going in and out of his skin made him want to squirm and the pretty face in front of him was a nice distraction. Your soft voice helped ease his nerves,  and Joel didn't typically go out and look for relationships prior to you, more so for the sake of Sarah, but he couldn't help it. You were stunning, "the most stunning to ever step foot in Austin" Joel would say. By the time you brought him his release forms, you couldn't help but agree to a  first date. He was charming to say the least.

You moved to Austin to obtain your RN at the University of Texas from Seattle and ended up falling in love with the city so you decided to stay and get a job at the local hospital as a trauma nurse in the emergency room. Luckily you did or you would've never met Joel. 

"Baby, wake up." You shut off the alarm and crawled into bed next to a shirtless Joel who lazily wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest. You lay like that for a moment, enjoying each other's presence before you both had to get up for the day. He appreciated this as your morning routine; you’d stop by in the morning and have breakfast together before work, and sometimes you’d bring Sarah to school if he was running late. His eyes slowly fluttered open and a sleepy smile perched on his lips as he looked at you.

"Mornin, beautiful." He said, brushing your hair from your face.

"Happy birthday." You leaned forward placing a soft kiss on his lips to which he moved closer to you, his hand trailing up and down your thigh. You ran your fingers through his hair once you pulled away from the sweet kiss.

"Gotta get up." He huffed, throwing the blankets off himself. He pecked your lips three times and on the fourth one he didn't pull away, grateful that your kiss was how he was woken up on his birthday.

You crawled out of bed and leaned against the door while he grabbed his clothes for the day. You watched him change with your arms crossed over your body, a small smile on your lips that this would eventually be what your morning looked like for the rest of your life. Once he finished, you pulled the door open and the two of you made your way downstairs. Joel couldn't help giving you a love tap on your butt as you rounded the corner to which you glared at him.

"Scrubs." He shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. It was no secret that Joel loved when you were dressed for work, normally in blue or black scrubs that hugged your body just right.

They entered the kitchen to discover that Sarah was standing at the stove making scrambled eggs. The smell made you want to immediately throw up which was unusual because you liked eggs and never had a problem with them before. Joel must've forgotten to grab a box of pancake mix during the most previous grocery trip.

"Where's the pancake mix?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, was I... I was. Sorry." Joel sighed walking towards the cabinet to get a mug.

"I was gonna make you birthday pancakes." She sighed adding under her breath, "I swear."

"You know, I don't really like pancakes." He said reaching for the coffee pot.

"I know you don't like them. It was for our benefit." Sarah said grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and pouring a glass for Joel. You couldn't help but smile at Joel's reaction to Sarah holding the glass out to him. "Vitamin C."

Joel nodded and took a big sip from the glass and you did your best to not snicker at the face he made while drinking it.

"Give it." You said quietly, and he gladly slid the glass across the counter towards you. You picked it up and took a sip, shooting him a wink. He reached up and cupped your face, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"Love you." He mouthed and even after hearing it a million times over the last six months since he first said it, it still made you blush.

You stood on your tippy toes and kissed him quickly before Sarah turned around and he reached for your hand once you pulled away. You always tried to keep the PDA minimal around Sarah, despite Sarah exclaiming she didn't care if you kissed in front of her. You were grateful that Sarah liked you, it was the one thing you were most afraid of when you found out that Joel had a daughter. Sarah loved you and always begged the question when you'd move in or when you’d get married, to which the couple never had a direct answer for her.

The trio sat around the table eating the eggs and while they ate Sarah's eggs, you opted for a bowl of fruit and some yogurt unable to deal with the stench of the eggs. She wasn't bad at cooking to say the least, but there were only so many different ways to make eggs.

"So how old are you again?" Sarah asked.

"Thirty six." "Old." You and Joel replied at the same time. Sarah giggled as Joel glared at you.

"We can't all be hot, young nurses." Joel said.

"I'm twenty-six, I'm not that young." You rolled your eyes.

"I'm twenty-six, I'm not that young." Joel mocked your very much not southern accent, something he loved to tease you about. Being from the Pacific Northwest was about as far from southern you could get.

"Gonna have to wear diapers soon." Sarah said to her dad, earning a burst of laughter from you.

"Who says I don't already?" Joel fired back and then pulled something from his mouth.

"Calcium." Sarah replied and then shoved the eggs in her mouth through her teeth.

"Lovely." Joel sighed while you continued laughing. He noticed you seemed a little off and rested his hand on your thigh, "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I just feel a little sick. I'll be fine, I gotta run." You stood up from your chair and brought her dishes to the sink where you quickly rinsed them off.

"Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?" Joel asked.

"He can have mine." You reply.

"Bye, baby." You leaned down and stole one last birthday kiss from Joel despite Sarah sitting in front of them.

"Be safe." Joel replied. He grabbed your hand as you were walking away and pulled you back towards him, wrapping his arm around your waist from where he sat in the chair for one last squeeze. "Love you."

"Love you." You smiled and waved goodbye to Sarah as you passed Tommy on your way out. "Have a good day everyone."

"What?" Joel asked when he noticed Sarah staring at him with a smug smile after you disappeared behind the garage door.

"It's just nice seeing you two." Sarah replied, standing to grab their plates off of the table. "She takes care of you and I like that."

"Takes care of me?" Joel asked.

"The coffee, the orange juice. I'm happy you have her." She said. "I'm just saying, when I'm off to college it's nice to know she’ll be here taking care of you."

"College is a long ways away." Joel stood up and looked at his phone. "C'mon."

The day went by normally, as normally as it could in the ER. Austin was full of people who never knew when to quit drinking, especially this close to the city. Your day was busy but was normal despite feeling nauseous the entire day. The later in the day it got, the more hectic it grew which wasn’t terribly unusual for a Friday in Austin. Your nausea eventually disappeared as the day went on and you barely had time to think about feeling sick with how many people were coming in. Multiple people started coming in with symptoms like you had never seen before. It wasn't just a few, it was at least a dozen and by the time another hour had passed the number had tripled. You felt bad leaving but you had a co-worker coming in to cover the last half of your shift so you could spend the evening with Joel and Sarah.

"I'm just going to insert your IV, you'll feel a little prick but it'll be done fairly quickly." You sat on a rolley stool next to a patient's bed, prepping his arm for the IV.

As soon as you inserted the needle into his arm, the man yelled and shot up from where he was laying in bed, his fist connecting with your jaw. The sudden outburst shocked you and caused you to fall backwards off of the chair. The man, in a matter of seconds, was on top of you. The other nurses heard the commotion and quickly came to your aide, sedating the man who had attacked you out of nowhere.

"This has to be connected with what's going on in Indonesia." Belle said to you as they stood at the nurse's station. You both were flipping through patient charts, trying to connect dots.

"What's going on in Indonesia?" You asked, holding the ice pack to your jaw.

"Some virus. Making people insane. Eating each other or something crazy. I don't know, it's probably all just fake news anyways." Belle sighed.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. I think my boyfriend is coming down with some type of cold or something. He's got chills and won't stop shivering." Jenny rushed behind the desk and put her things in her drawer. "You look like you had a rough day so I'm officially relieving you of your duty."

"Yeah, I should head out before I'm asked to stay longer anyways with all this chaos going on." You pushed the stack of charts towards Jenny and grabbed your belongings from behind the desk.

"What do you got going on tonight, anyways?" Belle asked.

"Boyfriend's birthday." You replied.

"Oh, the scandal that will be. Have fun." Jenny winked and shoved you towards the door.

By the time you reached the Miller residence the sun had already set. You used your spare key to open the door and let yourself in. Sarah was sitting in the living room watching Lilo and Stitch: The Series on Disney Channel.

"Hey," You sighed collapsing on the couch next to Sarah. "How was school?"

"What happened to your face?" She asked.

"A patient attacked me today. It's fine."

"Dad's gonna flip out when he sees. He made me go to the Adler's after school." She sighed. "But look." Sarah grabbed the box and showed you the watch she had fixed for Joel.

"He's gonna love it." You smiled, looking down at the ticking arms.

"You think so?" You asked.

"Duh. It's from you, that's an automatic win to anything I could've got him." You replied.

"What did you get him?" Sarah asked her.

"Nothing. He made me swear to no gifts 'or else'." You said making Sarah laugh at your use of air quotes. Joel did make you swear to no gifts but your gift was just going to be extremely hot and steamy birthday sex, but Sarah didn't need to know that.

"I really like you. I think you're really good for my dad." Sarah said after a few minutes of silence.

"I really like you too, Sarah. And I really do love your dad, I hope you know that." You replied, looking down at the girl next to you.

"I think I wouldn't mind you being my step-mom." She said.

"Well, maybe one day I will be." You couldn't stop the smile that crept onto your face. You slung your arm around Sarah and the two of you bundled up under a blanket to finish watching Lilo and Stitch.

The clock was approaching ten when you finally heard Joel's keys jingle into the lock. He had swore to be home by nine at the latest but obviously that wasn't the case.

"You locked the door for once." Joel said as he joined them in the living room.

"Yeah." Sarah said. "It's ten."

You stood up to greet Joel with a kiss and then sat back down on the other side of the couch.

"They gave us the wrong size for the headers- that doesn't mean anything to you, I'm sorry. What the hell happened to your face?" Joel tilted your face so he could see it better in the dim light.

"A patient hit me today, it's fine. Just a bruise." You moved his hand from your face and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He was about to reply when Sarah came to the rescue.

"Where's the cake?"

"Shit." He muttered under his breath.

"C'mon man."

Your phone buzzed and you stood up to take the call in the kitchen, glancing down at your pager that was simultaneously going off over and over again.

"Hello?"

“You have to get down here, it's fucking chaos-"

"What? It's Friday, everyone is heading into the city at this time to drink, it'd take me like an hour." You said. You could barely hear what Belle was saying over the noises in the background. You swore you heard screams at some point.

"No, no, no. We need all the hands we can get, the patients are- fuck- sir, back up please! Shit!"

"Belle? Belle? Hello? Fuck." The line went dead and you went back to the living room staring down at your pager that was lighting up with multiple code violets which typically meant violent individuals. "I gotta head back into work."

"What? No." Sarah pouted. "Stay please. We're gonna watch a movie."

"Yeah baby, stay. I don't want you on the roads at this time, people already been drinkin." Joel held his hand out and you couldn't help but take it and sit down next to him.

"Fine, but if Belle calls again I'll have to go in."

"Deal."

Barely an hour into the movie, Joel found himself with the two girls he loved most in his life passed out asleep on him. An urge of protectiveness flooded him and he knew in that moment that you and Sarah were his to love and protect no matter what. It was almost in that moment he decided he'd propose to you before the year ended. The thought almost completed itself until his phone rang with Tommy's number flashing across the tiny screen. After a brief conversation with Tommy, Joel was extremely annoyed with the fact that once again he'd be bailing his little brother out of jail.

He tapped your leg gently until you woke up and kissed your head when you opened you eyes, "I gotta go bail Tommy out, can you stay with Sarah?"

"Of course." You knew not to ask questions when it came to Tommy in jail.

"I'm gonna bring her to her room, you head to bed, yeah?" He lifted Sarah into his arms and together they walked up the stairs. You crawled into bed, still wearing your scrubs from your shift and very easily fell back asleep. You weren’t even aware of the kiss that Joel had placed on your temple or the way that he quietly whispered he loved you before he left to go get Tommy.

You couldn't tell if you were woken up by the transformers blowing outside, the sound of helicopters and gunfire, or your phone buzzing incessantly. You crawled from bed and peeked into Sarah's room to find that she was still sleeping; with all of this noise it was hard to tell how. You rushed downstairs and searched the house for Joel who was nowhere to be found. You finally had the conscious to look at your phone, a breath of relief falling off your lips once you saw Joel's name.

"Joel? What's going on, is everything okay?" You asked, your hands starting to shake slightly. The noises around you were slowly starting to blur into white.

"Get Sarah, hide and lock all the fuckin doors. Now. We're comin to you. Grab my gun and sit still til we get you." Joel said.

"Joel-"

"Just fuckin do it, You!"

Ringing picked up in your ears and you felt like you couldn't move until you heard barking outside. You walked towards the living room and your heart dropped when you saw the front door wide open.

"Sarah?" You felt like throwing up, a different type of nausea than what you felt this morning. Nothing in your gut felt right and you knew that something was off. You stepped outside and looked around, a helicopter flying overhead with a searchlight beaming down on the neighborhood.

"Mrs. Adler?" Your head snapped at the sound of Sarah's voice coming from next door. You made your way next door and quietly went inside, walking on your tiptoes. There are moments when your survival instinct kicks in and you trust your gut no matter what it tells you. This was one of those moments. You knew that you needed to get Sarah and get the hell out of that house.

Your eyes spotted the blood on the floor right before Sarah slipped in it. You tried to keep the sound of your breathing minimal as you approached Sarah from behind and grabbed her wrist. Sarah jumped but luckily didn't vocalize that she had been startled. You brought your finger to your lips signaling to be quiet, but you both had already made too much noise.

You both froze and turned to face the sight in the kitchen which was straight out of a horror movie. Nana looked up at you and slowly rose to her feet. If it came down to it, you would knock the old lady out to protect Sarah, but neither of you were aware it'd take more than that to take her down. She was just an old lady, right? The poor thing couldn't even eat on her own, what's the worst she could do. It turned out they were looking at the worst she could do. Mr. Adler and Mrs. Adler both sprawled out on the ground surrounded in blood seemed good enough to be categorized in "worst", but again... she was an old lady, no way she did all of this on her own. Nana let out an inhuman screech and started charging at the pair. You yanked Sarah back and shoved her towards the door.

"Go, now!" The two ran out of the house, refusing to look back. Both of them stopped at the sight of headlights and Tommy's truck pulling up directly in front of them, the tires screeching to a stop.

"Get in the truck! Right now! Move." Joel got out as soon as the truck had stopped moving, a heavy wrench in his hand. He pushed you and Sarah towards the truck but everybody froze at the sound of Nana coming. She fell off the steps and right onto the ground and everyone thought for a moment that it was done and over with until she shot back up like nothing happened and began sprinting full speed at Joel and his family. He had no choice but to swing the wrench at the old lady. You wrapped your arms around Sarah's shoulders trying to comfort her. Surely that must've been hard to watch for a girl her age.

Joel rushed to Sarah who was seemingly in shock, "You killed her."

"Baby, I'm sorry." He cupped her cheeks and then pulled her into a hug. "Baby, listen to me. It's not just the Adler's, but we're gonna be brave-"

Another transformer blew, cascading green light across their faces. You and Sarah climbed into the backseat and you wrapped your arm around her, knowing that whatever you did wouldn’t be enough to help ease whatever was going on through her head. You did you best to shield her eyes as Tommy hit the Adlers who you were sure were dead. They were running at the truck as if nothing had happened.

Transformers were blowing left and right and you couldn't focus on one single thing in front of you. Joel was probably yelling at you for letting Sarah out of the house and you couldn't even process it. You hated herself for letting Sarah get into that position at the Adlers, you should've paid more attention.

"Baby," you felt Joel's hand on your knee and you snapped your head at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You attempted to say but it came out as a whisper.

"We're gonna be fine." He took your hand in his, twisting his arm into the backseat just to hold it. It was comforting but your anxiety levels were skyrocketing.

"How do you know?" Sarah asked, her voice wavering. "How do you know we're not sick?"

"Tommy, let me out." You said suddenly. "I-I-I work in the ER, I've probably been exposed to whatever this is, let me out. I felt sick this morning too. I can't get you sick, I won't."

"No, fuck no." Joel snapped. "You're not gettin out of this truck, dammit."

You put your hand over your face, taking a deep breath to prevent yourself from bursting into tears. Your anxiety hadn't been a problem in years, and it felt like all of it was rushing in on you at once. You didn't want to show signs of panic for Sarah.

"The Adlers would take Nana into the city. To the hospital for stuff." Sarah said.

"You're right. They would. That's probably why. But you ain’t sick. If you were going to get sick you would be by now. And you’re not."

"Fuck." You said under your breath. You couldn't help but think of Belle and Jenny, who both called you earlier begging you to come back into work. They were probably suffering there right now, overrun with this sickness, or they were probably dead. The ER staff was already a small team, who knew how they were holding up under the magnitude of this. Would it even have helped if you went back in? Or would you just be another dead body? If it was like this on the outskirts you couldn't imagine what it was like in the city.

You were ripped from you thoughts by Tommy and Joel arguing in the front seat about where to go. Your vision focused on your surroundings which was a town street full of people running around with no sense of direction. You throat tightened seeing some of them covered in blood, screaming and crying with no clue on what to do.

Tommy put the truck in reverse as they continued discussing different ways off of this street. They didn't care how, they just needed off. Sarah clutched your hand so tight it might've cut off the circulation as she looked out the back window.

"Dad." Sarah said and you turned your head to what Sarah was looking at. "Dad?"

"Tommy, forward. Now." You could feel your heart beating in your ears at the sight of the plane falling out of the sky. You held onto Sarah as the plane collided with ground sending a large explosion into the sky and down the street. Everything was black after that.

There was ringing in your ears as you came to. You could easily tell the truck had flipped by the way that you were sprawled across the ceiling of it. You jumped at the feeling of Joel's hands on your cheeks. Several thoughts rushed your brain all at once, the most present one being how none of you had put your seatbelts on in the rush of escaping the Adlers.

"You're okay. You're okay." He said pulling you by your arms to sit up to which you resisted the urge to scream in pain. You looked around noticing Sarah was standing outside the truck, barely holding her balance on one foot. With one glance you could tell she had either severely sprained it, or fractured it.

"My shoulder. It's dislocated, I can tell." You said as Joel pulled you from the truck, doing his best to avoid the broken glass, but you still ended up with pieces in your skin. Eventually when all was settled you'd have to coach Joel into popping it back into place to which you'd have to fight him to agree on.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." Joel pulled you into his body, hugging you tightly. This nightmare never seemed to end.

"Sarah, are you okay?" You asked, putting your hands on her shoulders.

"It's my ankle."

"I'll take a look when we get somewhere safe, okay?" You asked and pulled Sarah in for a hug as a sheriff car slammed into the truck they had all just been in. You were just grateful to still be breathing at this point. Grateful that you all were still breathing.

"Head to the river! I'll find another way." Tommy yelled from the other side.

"You'll have to carry her." You told Joel and he scooped her up into his arms.

"You keep your eyes on me, alright? Don't look anywhere else." Joel said and then turned to her. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" You replied.

"We're making it out of this." He told you and you nodded. You wanted to believe him, but the odds of it all seemed so slim. ”Say it. We're making it out of this."

"We're making it out of this." You repeated, though you wasn't sure how much you actually had meant it.

They took off running down the alley, the heat of the flames coming from everywhere making their skin wet with sweat. You stayed close to Joel, following right behind him. They stopped when they came across multiple bodies down one alleyway being gnawed on by multiple infected people. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. This was out of horror movies you watched as a kid, this shouldn't be reality. How was this reality?

Joel looked around and searched for another way when one of the infected realized they were there and shot up from the ground. Joel took off running and you could see it was toward the door of a building. You ran in front of him to open it so he could get through with Sarah and then followed behind him, the footsteps of the infected growing closer.

They ran through an empty diner, the sounds of what was following them hot on their tails. You could tell by Sarah's face that it was getting closer and closer but you refused to look back. That was the first rule in every horror movie. They ran through the kitchen and out the back door, ignoring the sounds of everything crashing behind them.

Sarah screamed and you had the instinct to brace for impact, to prepare yourself to fight this thing off of you but it never came. A gunshot rang through the air and they stopped dead in their tracks, turning to see the infected laying on the ground.

"It's okay, baby. We're safe." He said to Sarah.

You placed your arm Joel’s back, clutching his shirt in your hand when a light was shined in your faces.

"Don't move." The soldier said.

"Our daughter's hurt. Her ankle." Joel said moving towards him. You almost didn't have time to process that he said "our".

"Stop right there!" He yelled.

"Easy now. We're not sick." Joel pleaded. You stepped in front of him to which he wanted to object, but he said nothing. 

"I got two civilians by the river, one of em injured... Ankle."

Joel took another step towards him to which he pointed his gun at them. You held your hands up in surrender.

“She's a kid, sir, please." You said.

"Hey! No one told you to move." The soldier said.

"Yes sir." Joel replied.

He lowered his gun for a moment and relief washed over you. After this chaotic night, the military would take them somewhere safe until this all blew over. Sarah's ankle would be fine, her shoulder would be taken care of, and everything would be back to normal in a month or two.

Then the light hit their eyes again.

'We're not sick." Joel said shaking his head.

"Hey, put it down." You said, taking a step backwards. If it came down to it, you were taking that bullet to protect Sarah and Joel.

"Sir." Joel pleaded. "We are not sick!"

Joel dove for safety, Sarah rolled out of his arms and you tumbled down the hill right next to them. With the adrenaline, you couldn't even tell there were two bullets lodged in your arm, it took the feeling of blood trickling down your forearm for you to realize anything was wrong. There were sharp pains in your back and abdomen and you thought for a moment you'd been hit elsewhere, but there was no blood. It must've been the fall, you figured.

"Joel," You pushed yourself off the ground and looked to Joel who had a gun pointed in his face. You thought for sure that this was it. This was how they die. All three of you, this far surviving everything the universe threw at them, just to die at the hands of the people who were supposed to protect them.

"Please don't." Joel whispered. Before he could pull the trigger, Tommy was behind him and put a bullet through his skull. For once, you were thankful for murder and guns. Being from the PNW, you hated guns.

You turned your head and noticed Sarah on the ground. "No," you said quietly. You crawled to her, immediately feeling like you were going to throw up all over again at the sight of her. "I can fix this."

You had seen plenty of gunshot wounds in the ER, this was Texas for Christ's sake. You knew how to remove bullets, and stitch them clean enough to leave minimal scarring. You had never lost a patient to a gunshot wound.

"Sarah?" You looked down at her, doing your best to examine the wound in the low lighting. You couldn't help but feel like throwing up because after getting a good look you knew there was no way you could fix this. You looked up at Tommy who had been a combat veteran. He knew as well as you did that Sarah was not going to survive this.

Joel was next to his daughter in a matter of seconds as her breathing picked up uncontrollably. "Move your hand, baby. Move your hand. Help me, help me.” Joel looked to you with pleading eyes.

You almost felt like you couldn't move, but you shook away all of the negative thoughts from your head and took a deep breath. You were going to fix this. You were going to save Sarah no matter what it took. ”I can fix it. Tommy, give me your flannel, I can stop- I can stop the bleeding until we get somewhere-“

“Hey," Tommy said softly.

"Just fucking give it to me, Tommy!" You yelled. He obliged and pulled his flannel off and tossed it to you.

"Sarah, you're gonna be fine, okay. I'm gonna fix this. I can- I can fix it." You pressed the flannel into her wound to which she winced and let out a cry. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry."

"I know it hurts, I know. I know. I know. I'm sorry." Joel went on as Sarah grabbed at him, panic coursing through her eyes.

"I can-" You stopped when you finally saw the life fleeing Sarah's eyes. "Joel."

Joel held her body to his chest, rocking her back and forth until her final breath.

You stood up and walked away from them, bending over to throw up whatever was left in your stomach. Sarah was gone. The world was gone. How were they to go on after this? The people they thought they could trust put a bullet in her arm and ended Sarah's life.

A kid.

She was just a kid.

She had a life ahead of her.

And you couldn't save her.

It probably would eat at you for the rest of whatever life you'd live after this.

"You're hit. Here.” Tommy said to you. He handed had the flannel you had used to try and stop Sarah's bleeding. “There was nothing you could do. You and I both know-“

“Tommy, don.t” You said, your voice catching in your throat.

He tied it around your arm and you winced in pain, the adrenaline quickly wearing off. Of course it had to be the arm with the dislocated shoulder.

You turned at the sound of Joel approaching you.

"I'm sorry, Joel." You said to him, immediately breaking down into tears. You reached your hands out to him but he didn't take them.

"This is your fault." Joel yelled. Tommy stepped in front of Joel to stop him from getting closer to you. "You did this."

"No, I tried." You said. You were a blubbering mess trying to find the right words to say but there were none.

"You're a nurse, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you save her?" Joel tried pushing past Tommy and you took a step back.

"Joel, you don't mean this. There was nothing she could do." Tommy defended you.

"Go. Get away from us. I don't want to see you ever again." Joel yelled. You had no words to say, you were in utter shock at what he was saying.

"No, we're not sending her off alone." Tommy raised his voice at his brother.

"I'm not going anywhere with her. I want her out of my life." Joel looked at you like he had never loved anything in his life and you knew you had lost him. You already blamed yourself for Sarah's death, knowing there was nothing you could've done but Joel twisted the knife. He didn't mean it and you wanted to believe that. He was the love of your life, he could never talk to you like that.

"Tommy..." You said your voice barely above a whisper as Joel turned on his heel and picked Sarah up into his arm.

"He's my family. I'm sorry." Tommy kissed your head and turned on his heel to follow his brother leaving you standing in that field by yourself.

"Joel, please!" You begged. "Tommy! You can't just leave me here!"

You fell to your knees, your breathing picking up as you began to descend into a panic attack until you heard the cries of the infected. You had to pull yourself together despite the aching in your abdomen, the fact that you had a dislocated shoulder and had been shot twice.

You scrambled to the dead soldier that had shot you and picked his gun up off of his body. You looked around trying to come up with a plan quickly. You started to run, you didn't know where and you didn't even know how to use the gun in your hands. You ran for what felt like miles, the adrenaline pushing you to keep going. You thankfully only had to use the gun to shoot down three infected people you crossed paths with and the action made you ill. You were killing people. These were still people and you were just loading bullets into them.

You finally saw the lights of the military base and your jog turned into a sprint. If they were to shoot at you and kill you, you wouldn't care. This was the world now and it wasn't one you wanted to live in. Everyone around them was sick and the one person who depended on you most died in her father's arms. Joel and Tommy left you standing in that field. They abandoned you. You're reason for living, the people you called family deserted you and left you to die.

As you approached the gate you heard the clicking of several guns being pointed at you so you set the gun down on the ground and held your hands up.

"I'm not sick!" You yelled. "Please, please. I'm not sick."

Two men approached you with their guns and lifted you by the arms to which you cried out in pain. "My shoulder is dislocated and I was shot, please."

"Civilian. Medical personnel it seems." One of the men said into his walkie. "Injured. Gunshot wounds and dislocated shoulder she says. Blood on her pants."

You were pulled behind the gate and sat in a screening room where you'd be questioned.

"Occupation?" The woman asked.

"Trauma nurse at Austin Gen." You said. Tears were still spilling from your eyes, but you barely noticed anymore.

"Where's your family?"

"Seattle." You whispered.

"Were you with anyone else tonight?" She asked.

"Yes, but..." You shake your head looking away.

"But?"

"They left me."

"Where did you get your injuries from?"

"Shoulder dislocated in a car accident and a soldier shot me." You reply. You weren't even sure if you were displaying any sort of emotion.

"The injury on your leg? Were you bitten?"

You looked down at your legs and everything clicked into place almost in slow motion. You noticed the blood that stained your thighs through your scrubs, the reason you were you nauseous all morning and the reason you were experiencing what you thought were cramps. It made everything hurt a million times more when you pieced it together.

"No, I think..." You shake your head again unable to finish the sentence.

"You think what? You think you were bitten?"

"No, I'm.." you release a shaky breath, your voice cracking as you say, "I'm having a miscarriage. I didn't know I was-"

The woman's look softens and she nods closing her folder. "I understand it's been a rough night. We're going to get you medical attention and then we'll discuss where you'll be relocated in a few days."

You were saved because you were a nurse. You were slightly more valuable than the average civilian simply because you could provide a service to the country after it crashed and burned. Medical professionals would likely be hard to come by after outbreak day and lucky for them you stumbled right onto their doorstep.

You felt a range of emotions the first few days in the military camp. You were angry for the most part and then you were overwhelmed with sadness. You had lost Sarah, then you lost your own child and then lost Joel. And Joel didn't even know. At the end of the day when you were laying in your cot all you could do was pray to a God you'd never prayed to before and hoped that wherever he and Tommy went, they were safe.

You ended up being assigned as a trauma nurse for FEDRA where you moved to wherever they needed you to. It took you years to get used to your new routine and you hardly ever even felt anymore. You just did what you needed to survive.

Twenty years later, you found yourself in Wyoming after escaping the FEDRA facility in Denver. FEDRA had gone corrupt there and even though you had no room to care, you couldn't keep justifying what was happening behind the QZ walls so you went on the run.

In Wyoming you find Tommy who was the last person you'd ever thought you'd see and learn that he hadn't spoken to Joel in a while but from he knew Joel was alive. Tommy damn near fell to his knees when he saw you and pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever felt. You didn't know how to feel about being reunited with him and he understood why you were so stand offish. When you looked at him you were brought back to the night that they left you. It was traumatic to you and you thought about it as little as you could.

It takes a while but you warm up to Tommy again. Things could never be the way they used to but you find comfort in his company, thinking back to before outbreak day when you'd sit and talk waiting for Joel to come down for work.

It was unlikely you or Joel would ever recover from the trauma of Outbreak Day. You would never forgive yourself for failing to fix what was already unfixable and Joel would never forgive himself for leaving you, not knowing for twenty years if you had survived. He eventually came to terms that you had probably died the night he left you and that ate him alive for the next two decades. He believed you were dead and he believed that it was his fault for letting his anger get in the way of protecting you. He lost you and Sarah both that day and he had to live with that for twenty years until he stumbled into Wyoming with a young girl named Ellie.

The two of you would never be the same but it's hard to tell if anyone would be after the events of the outbreak. You and Joel could try to fix what was broken that night but not even the power of the moon and the stars couldn't heal the hurt from either of you

a/n: this was unedited, its late but im posting it anyways and ill go back and fix it tomorrow

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