#so a part of my brain believes it
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glamourous-world · 9 months ago
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Having christian based religious trauma while actively trying to worship its deity goes crazy sometimes /neg
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shadowtraveled · 10 months ago
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
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but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
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the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
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which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
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the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
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yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
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duraante · 6 months ago
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so thrice dante has killed him. first, above temen-ni-gru. then, at mallet island.
and now a third time. it is the ultimate homicide: he has slaughtered vergil’s character, his very spirit.
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rocketbirdie · 29 days ago
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lowkey funniest part of rebirth is when cloud dissociates BIG time while the costa del amor girls are making their pitch
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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shalom-iamcominghome · 13 days ago
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My jewish community, friends, rabbi, and educators: We are very invested in helping you be jewish. Do you want to help read the haftarah? Here's a chanukiah! You can have it!! Borrow these books! Here's some books! You need more books... Come to pesach! Come to the chanukah party! When are your classes done? We need a minyan for once!
Me and my 50000 IQ: What if I am Secretly Appropriating judaism? What if I am doing a Cultural Appropriation........
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#there comes a point where your concerns about if you are an Appropriative Cultural Appropriator hinders your jewish journey#i think a comforting thing is knowing that my incessant fear about this is confirmation that i love judaism#i love it with my heart and soul and (i feel) i'd be a less realized person without it#and i think people who genuinely engage in cultural appropriation just Do Not Care about the cultures they appropriate from#they don't love the culture enough to respect it and that is a big reason that it even IS appropriation#especially when jewish people are INVITING you to do things... it's not appropriation#i dunno last night i was feeling very anxious about lighting the chanukiah candles because i'm alone#but i've also lit shabbos candles. and it's just like... why would i choose not to engage in this when one day i will have to?#this time next year i will have to light candles. as a jew. and if i have no clue how to do it myself then i'll just avoid it#plus... i love my chanukiah and i want to use it. it is currently decorating my room because i love it#i hope they'll let me take pictures of all the chanukiah that'll be at the party#i'm sure they will because they're very open and they are very accommodating. in fact i'm bringing my clarinet too#i haven't touched that thing in well over four years 😭#but jewish music without a clarinet is like a body with no soul. it's impossible. it is not what g-d wants i think.#i just hope my ability to play by ear hasn't been affected by my lack of playing. i don't have perfect pitch tbc#but i fully believe you can know your instrument so well that you develop an ear for perfect pitch#in fact... i refused to memorize my marching band music because i DID develop that 'perfect pitch' ear. that's my dirty secret#i didn't practice in part because i can't have a space where noone could hear me practice and it's embarrassing and private to me#literally EVERY jew in my life has been almost TOO ecstatic about my jewish journey. i'm very thankful for it#i guess i just didn't think i deserved to have people as happy about me being in judaism as i am#so to be clear this is my brain being rude and dumb. this anxiety has NEVER been reinforced by anyone but myself#so i take full responsibility for it. but i think that anxiety is something many/most converts/jews-in-progress feel
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pixlatedvampire · 7 months ago
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You gave those wounds to your god, Enki. Did you think they would heal so easily?
(Uh Oh! Someone gave the priest catholic guilt!)
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lavlynyan · 1 month ago
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Sylus’ death was so painful that my brain actually removed any memory of me reading the part when he died before the Abyssal Blossom kindle scene.
Thanks @starmocha for reminding me that MC dreamed that flower field scene up to cope (bcs now I realised I did the same 😭)
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chickpea0 · 9 months ago
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There's 2 categories of regression headcanons
You fully believe this character is or could be a regressor/cg/flip/something. There's bits in canon that you can point to and say that's why and there's reasons why they would specificially regress or be a caregiver! A headcanon or heartcanon.
For sillies. Feasibly, you could write ANY character to be part of the community! You don't actually think it would fit but you're either imagining it because you're fond of the character and there's just something about it or you're going through all the characters in your head an applying babification to them. I call these "regressorland headcanons" where you prioritise the regression over being true to canon.
Both are great Both are entertaining! But gosh it can be hard to get yourself to answer "do I actually think this would fit or am I just doing this for the sake of it/doing what i think could possibly apply"
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yellowcap · 2 months ago
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4433 + magnetism, repulsion, and friction
it's all just a game / the magnets / magnets / endgame by taylor swift
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eerieechos · 10 months ago
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“Are you two DRUNK right now??”
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colorful-bees · 4 months ago
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Today's the day I talk about the White and Black memory from the Memory Link in B2/W2.
Not only is a good insight to the mindset of the Team Plasma members who are still loyal to N after the events of the first games, it's also one of the few moments in the games where the abuse N went through is actually drawn attention to in a situation where N isn't directly present. Most of the time, we're painfully aware of N's situation when it's a conversation between N and Ghetsis but this is an interaction between two random Plasma grunts where they talk about it from their perspective.
Something to note is they still call N "Lord N". They haven't magically changed their mindset. They don't call Ghetsis "Lord Ghetsis" anymore either, he's just Ghetsis now. They still are very much in that culty mindset, they're just wholly aligned with N now, rather than Team Plasma as a whole and as such, he's the only one with a title. Their a bit more moral but their unhealthy reverie towards N remains the same.
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Back to my original point, it's one of the few times we see N's situation acknowledged by other characters. Other notable examples are when talking with Anthea and Concordia in the Driftveil Safehouse. While these are very brief moments, both conversations use very evocative words to describe what happened to N. Anthea and Concordia describe N as being "groomed" into a role while the Team Plasma grunts call what happened to N "disgusting." It almost feels a little strange when the characters acknowledge it. We see it happen and we know all about it but it feels much more real when the characters around you mention it and it's brought up so infrequently, it almost feels like you're not supposed to talk about it; it's jarring and uncomfortable when it is.
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It also becomes interesting when you take into account how the Neo Team Plasma members feel about N, often referring to him as a traitor and an idiot, which implies they either didn't hear about what N went through or, more likely, they simply don't care; he was Team Plasma's key to victory and to power and it doesn't matter to them what was done to him for that to be his role. There's a reason Neo Team Plasma follows Ghetsis and it's because they align with his views; I wouldn't be surprised if they also viewed N as less than human just like Ghetsis does and as such, don't even view his suffering as suffering to begin with.
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starry-bi-sky · 7 months ago
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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sp0o0kylights · 1 year ago
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obsessed with your latest steddie au! steve’s relationship with his parents is so emotionally abusive and manipulative and my heart is breaking that nobody seems to recognise that
Thank you!!
I really wanted to focus on how Steve's parents are abusive in a way that is a lot harder to clock.
They're not out there screaming and kicking him out of the house. These people want you to like them, and they lie like they breath.
These are the adults who downplay serious issues, who make you doubt yourself, who smooth things over or even apologize on your behalf as a way to control and isolate you.
If everyone thinks you're terrible, and your amazing, doting, angelic parents are once again swooping in to save you, then your escape routes close up rapidly--which is of course, the whole point. They want their victims to rely on them and them alone.
For a lot of the Party, that's just not an evil they've encountered yet.
Throw in the fact that Steve does in fact, have a head injury, and things get muddy FAST.
It makes for delicious, angst-ridden scenarios and I am delighted everyone's happy to come along for the ride.
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dailykugisaki · 3 months ago
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Day 335 | id in alt
Being desperate to end the fight might make you even worse off in the long run, Shoko.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#ieri shoko#utahime iori#Kugisaki opening her eye not even fully like all the way knowing her shit yet and immediately getting shot with 1 Ml of Adrenaline#Shoko actually regretting her actions for once#Kugisaki probably going through the most insane shit right now she probably cant feel any of her limbs at the moment#dont shoot adrenaline into a fresh out the coma child Shoko#The funniest part is. Shoko didn't train to actually do this medical shit she foes autopsy's bro she dosent know how much the body can#the body can take#Shoko does not know she probably gave Kugisaki more brain damage#Shes just sitting there with a fucked up girl using her technique#Because they BOTH dont know whats going on#utahime is tweaking the fuck out but shes gonna be okay(she'll be thinking about it for years)#Kugisaki was in a state of genuine disability where she had to be cared for by others that didn't know what they were doing#Shoko STILL dosent know. Its not her fault shes used to dealing with corpses#shoko becoming a presudo caretaker of Kugisaki because she feels guilty about this massive fuck up#Shoko probably thought she was just like the higher ups in that moment and had to stare at a wall#Kugisaki wigging out and shes half fucked in a state of limbo because DAMN that idle transfiguration made her believe she DIED#Anything to win the fight against the king of curses y'know#Nobody really knows about what happened except Shoko. Utahime and Kugisaki herself so. And you know theyre not gonna say anything#youd have better chances talking to a rock#why did i make this? my brain spiraled
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aethersea · 11 months ago
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devastating to go into the tag for an obscure vampire movie I've been quietly obsessed with for years to find mostly gifsets of minor characters (played by big-name actors) and review blogs saying they didn't like it :(
@ everyone who made a post saying "I liked it :)" I am blowing you a kiss. everyone who made a lovely gifset or photoset of the cinematography I am tipping my hat. that one poster that said "bro did y'all just miss the Entire Message about class and race or???" I am shaking your hand with enthusiasm there was SUCH a message about class and race
anyway everybody should watch Night Teeth and revel in glitzy flashy modern vampires in LA with me
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