#so I have to emotionally scar him clearly

[jangmo-othewarrior]

Hi. I was just wondering, in your DR corruption au, what Taka's corrupted form(s) are. You mentioned the forms being unrecognisable and him seeing his dad again but, if he didn't talk, would his dad recognise him?

I always imagined his corrupted forms being bird-like but I wanted to know what your initial idea was.

Hey thanks for the ask!

Bird elements are pretty fun, but my original idea was actually something more similar to a wingless bat that can latch onto walls. He's extremely fast, and has some claw-spikes sticking out of his hands. His Stage 5 has more spikes sticking out of places that actively hinder him, representing the stress of the situation piercing through his shiny exterior. He's also of course white with the red eyes in Stage 5 as well.

But even with the whole wingless bat thing happening, Taka's dad would still recognize his eyes.

[vonkarma2]

ultimately my enjoyment is hampered because it is low key sexist bc it takes place in an alternate universe where Sigmund Freud is real. though I did still like it for the most part but I hate Sigmund Freudddd Utena better

[kr-starz]

Sick and TIRED of people claiming Ekko loved Alternate Universe Powder and not main universe Jinx. Throughout the series Ekko has continuously proven that he cares for Jinx dearly, through both canon actions and deleted scenes we know that Ekko cares deeply for Jinx.

Within the AU we're able to see an emotionally available Powder who was able to have a stable support system alongside a flourishing relationship. Which shows that Powder, Jinx, is fully able to be a good person. A normal human girl. Ekko is finally able to see this, that Powder is only so happy because she's lived so peacefully. He's always had a crush on her, it's lingering and it's never gone away. During the bridge scene, and Jinx's debut, we notice that Ekko freezes up both times when seeing jinx face to face. That she's able to draw out strong and violent reactions out of him that aren't exactly rational.

Usually people aren't able to do that to him, he's confrontational and stern because he's the Firelight leader, but we notice that most all of his decisions so far have been well thought out and responsible. In s1e4 we see him look at his stopwatch, see he has little time left before their crystals break, and he STILL goes to pursue Jinx. This is probably because he still harnesses strong feelings of hate towards Jinx, shock and frustration overwhelm him. Because it's Jinx who's done this, one of Silco's goons, but most importantly his childhood friend who's become so twisted. Scar is forced to grab Ekko and stop him before he goes too far, which shows off that Jinx does cause an especially strong emotional response for multiple reasons.

But the bridge scene shows that Ekko still does see the girls he's loved inside of Jinx. He hits her twice, neither time's does he get a good look at her face. But as he's winding up to hit her a third time, he pauses, he looks at her desperate face and he see's nothing more but an innocent girl. Which is why he stops, he still bears affection for her, clearly. The rest of the bridge scene is intimate enough but if I do have to mention anything, people who don't bear feelings for each other don't smirk at the other person like that.

When Ekko finds himself in the AU he's able to see Jinx/Powder in her most healthy form, finding ways of mourning and coping considered healthy. He see's pieces of Jinx inside of this Powder, her potential and what she could be. That's not something you do with someone you don't bear affection for. You don't look at the seemingly perfect version of someone and say that there's something missing; something missing that only versions that have gone through hell have. Pieces of herself that can't be replaced. Ekko doesn't just love Jinx.

He loves her entirety, he loves her innovative mind able of creating the worst war weapons. He loves that she's able to push herself to limits that he couldn't dream of, because he loves her for who she is. In both universes, what we notice is that they're both artists, they're both creators. Powder doesn't discard her love for gadgetry because she didn't experience atrocities, she's still unbelievably smart, being able to help Ekko create the anomaly. Being able to follow along while not knowing anything beforehand.

Jinx is able to crack hex tech with nothing more than Viktor's notes and some tinkering, this shows that no matter what universe, Jinx/Powder is an unbelievably talented and smart girl who could do so much.

Ekko is able to recognize that with Jinx's Genius it comes madness, and he simply would rather have her be both rather than an assistant. Not saying that he wouldn't love Alt Powder, I'm just saying that Arcane Ekko wouldn't be nearly as happy with her rather than Jinx. Because with Jinx comes crazy ideas and a leadership that matches his. That's the Jinx he never fell out of love with.

Even in both of these characters, Jinx and Powder have never been different. In each universe, they never got to blossom yet they're one bud. Two sides of a coin who'd never know the other existed if not for "what if's"

Powder is what Jinx is if she was happy, soft and delicate, she still holds the potential to create extraordinary devices, yet she doesn't because she never had the need to.

Jinx is what Powder would become if she was put under tremendous stress and trauma, devoid of a support system she turns to her gadgetry and weaponry, while slowly losing the part of herself that could be soft.

They both exist in one person, and Ekko is able to see both of them, and give them what they need in order to bloom. He's able to give Jinx unconditional yet not unhealthy amounts of support, and he's able to give Powder the push to expressing herself through her inventions more harshly.

Ekko realizes that Jinx is still Powder, no matter how many times she changes her name. Us as the audience is able to realize that Jinx is still able to love for Powder, because we've seen her interact with Isha. Isha is similar to Powder which is healing for Jinx. When Jinx loses Isha, we can see that she never truly let go of Powder, that Powder was never different from Jinx. That they're simply a part of herself she never wanted to accept until she saw it from another perspective.

But Ekko doesn't know this, yet he still has continuous faith in her that she's capable of change. We see Ekko actively pursue Jinx in order for her not to kill herself, because he loves her. He cares for her deeply and he wants to redeem himself by simply being there, even if he's late. Because what Jinx has needed all along was an unconditional companion. Which is what Ekko can be.

Being the support that someone needs, unconditionally.

If that's not love then I don't know what is.

[vxsellie]

would you be willing to write an ellie x reader fic where ellie is finally meeting reader’s parents but it doesn’t go the best. reader comes from an emotionally abusive and unstable home. at dinner they’re constantly being passive aggressive about readers weight, appearance, literally anything and they think ellie will join in but she is NOT having it.

ellie sits beside you with a pinched expression. this entire dinner has been hell, your parents continuously making comments on you. she has one hand on your thigh under the table, out of your parents' sight. it calms you a bit, but not enough to drown out their nagging voices. you fight to ignore them, reaching over the table to get another serving of pasta. ellie is fast to help you, holding the pot still while you scoop. you give her a small smile as you sit back down, a silent thanks for her aid.

your father clears his throat. you look up at the sound, making eye contact across the table. his gaze is sharp. "another plate? seriously?"

"oh. uh⎯" you begin, but you're cut off by your mother adding onto the comment.

"yeah, i'm not too sure you need a second serving, dear." she says. the nickname is a weak attempt at blanketing her harsh words, aiming to make the hit less obvious. where your father is obvious in his malice, your mother at least makes an attempt at covering it. honestly, you think that makes it even worse at times. "the grease gives you blemishes. and the calories add to your.. frame."

you frown but nod, pushing your plate away from yourself as you cast your head down toward your lap. ellie remains silent, but you notice the way her jaw clenches and her shoulders tense.

"i mean, look at ellie." your father says, pointing at her with the hilt of his fork as he chews on his third serving. ellie looks up at him, raising a brow as she tries desperately to remain respectful. he looks her up and down before turning to you. "she's managed to stay fit. ain't that hard."

your mother chuckles at this, turning to ellie with a warming smile than you'd ever seen her give you. "honestly! we try to tell her how important this stuff is but, well, she obviously doesn't heed our warnings. maybe you could try talking to her, ellie? i'm sure she'd listen to you more so than us."

ellie opens her mouth to speak but ends up closing it again, staring at your mother incredulously. there's no fucking way she just said that about you in front of her. ellie can't fathom the idea of someone seeing you this way. in her eyes, there's not a thing about you that needs changing. every little curve and scar is beautiful and perfect in her eyes. she struggles to wrap her head around the words your parents are so carelessly spitting at you. but they just don't make sense.

she glances over at you, your parents' voices fading into a bothersome sound of repeated insults.

your head is downcast, eyes completely blank as you accept their words without much thought to how horrid they are. your shoulders are hunched, lips pursed. she hates seeing you like this ⎯ shut down and reserved. she'd prefer you to scream or cry over this. your emotions and feelings are so very important to her. clearly, as it turns out, your parents don't seem to share this priority.

"ellie?" your mother calls out. ellie turns to her, patience thinning by the second. "you agree with us, don't you?"

she tries to stay quiet, she really really fucking does. but after seeing that look on your face and having to listen to your parents all through dinner, she can't. she simply cannot take it anymore. she turns to your mother with a deeply set scowl, brow knitted and jaw clenched.

"no." she snaps. you raise your head, whipping it in her direction after having been completely convinced she'd agree with them. your heart swells at the sight of your girlfriend standing up for you. "any parent with an ounce of decency would know better than to shun their own daughter for an hour straight. and, on top of that, it's just completely insensitive for you to continue to do so when you have a guest over. and to invite her lover to join in on your insults? fucking pathetic. both of you."

the room goes silent, the only sound being the ac blowing through the vent with a gentle hum. ellie continues to stare both your parents down as you hold your breath, unsure on what they'll do. you'd never even entertained the thought of speaking to them like that.

ellie then stands from her chair, the legs of it scratching loudly against the wooden floorboards. she thanks them for dinner, voice still laced with venom, then turns to you. her features suddenly soften and she holds out a hand to you, offering to help you to your feet. you take it, standing with a shaky breath, the weight of what just happened pressing hard against your chest.

"you wanna go out for ice cream?" she asks you.

your face instantly splits, a large smile overtaking your lips as your stare at her with the utmost love you could ever possibly offer. you squeeze her hand, your parents glaring eyes fading away as you focus solely on ellie. "yes please."

sorry this is a little long, this req is just so sweet & i couldn't wait to write it

[aayakashii]

Can I ask for a request about MC comforting Lyca after the New episode end? I hope you don't mind! You can ignore this ask if it's too much, or you're busy!

Don't forget to take a lot of rest(*´˘`*)♡

You read my mind because I was already planning on writing that right after I finished reading that episode 😭

Warnings: MAJOR spoilers for episode 10 and depictions of a depressive episode. Please do not read this if you're not up to date with the story because I don't wanna spoil anyone ;-;

You had given up on knocking and calling out his name after being ignored for an embarrassing amount of times.

You apparently hadn't completely given up on him, however.

Lyca could very clearly still feel your scent through the closed, locked door of his bedroom. He knew you were just outside, waiting quietly for him to open the door and let you inside.

He wasn't in the mood to be comforted, though. He wasn't sure he would ever be, to be honest.

Lyca wasn't the most emotionally aware person in the world, but he knew quite well that what he was feeling was the closest thing to a heartbreak that he had ever felt before.

It was a new feeling inside his chest. It felt like his heart was being squeezed, his throat hurt and his eyes burned. It felt weird, bad, awful. And it felt like nothing could ever pull that weight out of his body.

When Darkwick snatched him out of his life with Neros, he felt anger. Anger at the loss of the one person who cared for him; anger at an institution that treated him like a murderer; anger at everyone that acted like he was less than human, less than someone who deserved a comfortable bed, clean clothes and warm food.

This time, however, he couldn't find it in himself to feel properly angry.

He just felt… empty.

Lyca wasn't sleeping. He couldn’t. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw those terrified expressions of all the staff, glaring at him as if he was about to rip their throats apart with his teeth, like he was some animalistic abomination with no rational thought.

As if he hadn't been working with them for three days. Befriending them all for three days.

The ice pick he had handed to the man he considered a new friend (and a good man, and a great teacher) being turned against him created a wound far deeper than the scars around his wrists caused by all those months being shackled under Ultio's prison.

And in thinking of scars, Lyca touched his cheek. He felt the little cut, almost completely healed, against his fingertips. A bitter reminder that maybe he should get up and shower – he could feel how his skin was sticky with sweat – since his own body was already getting over it all.

His mind, however, was far from getting over all that.

Just like you wouldn't get over the idea of talking to him.

Why couldn't you get up and leave? He could still feel your scent outside his room. Would you just stay there forever if he locked himself inside his room forever? Were you that stubborn?

Lyca furrowed his eyebrows, glaring at the door from under his covers.

Maybe he should just tell you to leave so he can be alone in peace.

With a frustrated growl, Lyca untangled himself from his blankets and stomped towards the door, aggressively opening it without a warning.

His eyes flitted to the ground right beside his door, where you were sat, when you yelped in surprise at his sudden appearance.

“Lyca!” You pushed yourself away from the wall and clumsily got up, your backpack falling awkwardly down your arms with your sudden movements. “Finally, you opened the door!"

You stepped closer, eyes wide and eyebrows scrunched upwards in worry, and you quickly grasped his arms as if he could run away if you weren't fast enough.

“I was so worried about you! It's been days! Have you been eating? I know you've skipped your classes but I managed to excuse your absence somehow. You look so tired, have you been sleeping properly?” You rambled, pushing him inside and effectively entering his room as well.

Lyca blinked fast, the hairs on his neck standing on edge at the sudden touch, and his face twisted into a grimace.

“...You're being too loud.” He mumbled, looking away from your face.

Seeing your face twisted in concern, for some reason, made him feel guilty. He had done nothing wrong, though. He hadn't done anything wrong in any given moment, god fucking dammit. Why were you looking at him like that?

“I'm sorry.” You lowered your voice, letting go of his arms. “I'm just so concerned about you. Rui and Ed told me to give you some space, but I can't anymore, I'm sorry. I needed to see you.”

Lyca sighed, scratching his head. He took a seat at the side of his bed, still feeling mentally exhausted.

“I'm fine.”

You pursed your lips. You knew he would never outright admit he was feeling awful and that the mission had caused him some heavy emotional trauma. You weren't even sure he was fully aware of it himself. You could only imagine how he felt betrayed and despised by the very people he wanted to become.

You also knew he needed to process it by himself, but you just couldn't watch him walk the path of self-destruction. You couldn't let him be overtaken by depression.

You had to do something. Even if it was the tiniest nudge towards a better direction and a little bit of comfort.

You sat right beside him on the bed, and opened your backpack, fishing out a large bottle of water, offering it to him.

“What?” He stared at the bottle, like it could bite him at any given moment.

“I know you haven't been drinking water. There are no cups around here. You need to drink something.”

Lyca raised his upper lip in a small growl, but you tutted.

“No buts. Go on.” You pushed the bottle into his arms and smiled satisfied when he opened it, despite the enormous pout on his lips.

Once Lyca gave the water a single gulp, he begrudgingly admitted to himself that you were right. He was parched and didn't even realize. At some moment, during his isolation, his body simply stopped signaling his needs and he forgot about them all.

You were already pulling out a few protein bars out of your backpack and making a small mountain of them on Lyca's lap. Once you decided that 12 protein bars seemed decent enough for a young werewolf that apparently hadn't eaten for three whole days, you got up.

“Eat these. While you do it, I'm gonna prepare a bath for you.”

Lyca finally took the water bottle out of his lips, gasping for air.

“I don't want to take a bath. I'm okay.” He talked back.

You raised an eyebrow, glaring at his unkempt hair and greasy face. You noticed he also had the same clothes from three days ago on his body.

“You won't need to worry.” You walked towards his wardrobe, looking for one specific piece of clothing amongst the piles of unorganized clothes, until you found what you were looking for.

“I'll leave this swimsuit for you to wear.” You threw terribly ugly beach shorts in his direction. “You put that on and enter the bathtub when you're ready. I'll wash your hair for you.” You finished, walking into the bathroom that was connected to his room.

Lyca choked on a piece of protein bar.

“You don't have to do any of that! I'm not a kid!” He yelled, cheeks still full of food.

“I know I don't.” Your voice resounded from inside the bathroom, along with the sound of water. “But you're tired and taking a shower can be a bit hard to do. I'll just help you this time.”

Lyca chewed, annoyed. You didn't have to do any of that. You didn't have to bring him water, food, much less bathe him as if he was a little child. Sure, he may have forgotten to do all of that for a while, but…

He sighed. Okay, maybe he did need someone to help him remember his basic needs. But still. Now that he remembered, you didn't need to do all that.

On his lap, there were a ridiculous amount of wrappers after he unconsciously devoured all of them. He didn't notice how hungry he felt, only realizing his empty stomach when he went to grab for another bar and there was none. He was still a bit hungry, but the sugar in his blood made him think a bit clear

Lyca eyed the obnoxious beach shorts.

Just this once. Maybe just this once he could do that.

He walked into the bathroom, cheeks a bit pink due to being shirtless, but more so because of the ugly shorts he wore.

“Did you finish eating? The water is ready, you can enter it if you want to.” You said, dipping your hand into the tub, swirling the water to feel the temperature.

Lyca sighed in relief after you pointedly ignored the fact that he was shirtless and wearing the ugliest shorts ever. No need to feel self-conscious after all.

“... Yeah. Ok.” He said, stepping into the water as you dragged a stool to sit next to the tub.

As Lyca submerged his body, he realized how much he needed the warmth of water against his skin, relaxing his knotted shoulders and neck. He felt a sigh escaping his lips as he sat awkwardly, not knowing how to act when you were sat right beside him, grabbing bottles of shampoo and conditioner.

“You can rest your back on the tub and lean your hair back. I'll wash you hair like that.”

He hesitantly laid against the white porcelain and followed your words, albeit he still looked uncomfortable.

“Just close your eyes and try to relax a bit.” You murmured, pouring water on his scalp as your finger threaded through his unkempt hair.

In spite of himself, Lyca closed his eyes as your hands slowly worked the knots on hair. For a while, his mind stopped racing and cycling through the same memories that haunted him for the past days. In that moment, he just focused on the feeling of water against his scalp and the gentleness of your fingers on his head.

He heard the squeeze of a shampoo bottle and, soon enough, your hands were massaging his scalp with the product. In the back of his mind, he was thankful that you chose products with no scent, just so you wouldn't irritate his sensitive nose.

His favorite part of the whole thing, however, was the feeling of water running through his head and hair. The chilly sensation was a bit jarring in the beginning, but soon enough he found it extremely comforting.

Once you finished his hair, you grabbed a bottle of facial wash.

“I'm gonna wash your face now, is that okay?” You murmured.

Lyca just grunted in affirmation, eyes still closed, and you chuckled.

Your fingers spread the unscented soap against his sweaty skin with caution, careful not to irritate his eyes. You massaged his cheeks, the side of his nose, his jaw, his temples – every little place he wasn't aware was tense.

Once you finished washing it out, you got up and Lyca had to make a conscious effort to open his eyes.

“I'll leave you alone so you can wash the rest of your body. I left clean pajamas for you right there so you can change into new clothes. Okay?” You said, walking towards the door. Lyca yawned, and nodded, mind cloudy and floaty, as he felt the sleepiness that escaped him throughout all of those days finally take over his body.

Once he finished showering (with much effort, since he was almost dozing off) and putting on the new clothes, Lyca walked back to his room only to find you smoothing out the new duvet and sheets you had placed on his bed. The pillows had new covers and were fluffed and all the junk that surrounded his bed had been thrown away.

He felt his breath hitch at his throat.

“Where's my blanket?” Lyca asked, voice a bit frantic as his eyes darted everywhere, looking for his most prized possession.

You opened the drawer of his nightstand, showing his old, dirty blanket safely tucked inside.

“It's here. Don't worry, I wouldn't touch it.” You said with a smile and patted the bed.

“Sit here. Let me dry your hair.”

Lyca relaxed again, heartbeat going back to a slower rate. He dragged his feet slowly and plopped on the side of the bed again.

You crawled onto the bed, standing on your knees right behind him, with your own hair dryer on your hands.

“It's gonna be a bit loud. You can plug your ears with your fingers if you want to.”

Lyca scoffed.

“I don't need to plug my ears. I don't care about any noise!” He retorted, stubborn. You just sighed and rolled your eyes, shaking your head in disbelief.

Once you turned the hair dryer on, however, Lyca immediately flinched. Subconsciously, his fingers went straight to his ears, plugging them right away. He pouted, angry at himself over being proved wrong by you once again.

Behind him, however, you snickered.

The feeling of the big hairbrush you were using scratching his scalp made his eyes flutter closed again, despite the noise. It awakened a few old, unknown memories he wasn't sure were his to begin with. It made him remember of a strange woman's hand with long, sharp nails scratching his scalp when he was just a child. He wasn't sure he knew who this woman was, nor did he have any other old memories like that, but the familiarity of it all brought a warmth to his chest, where he felt only anguish for the past days.

You finished blowing his hair dry with an exhale – the loud sound also hurt your ears – and you tapped his shoulders, signaling that you were done.

Lyca just plopped onto his pillow, laying his whole body on the bed, letting out a loud sigh.

“Are you feeling a little bit better?” You asked with a quiet voice, trying not to disturb the peace that seemed to have finally graced Lyca's mind.

He stared at you for a moment before avoiding your face with a small pout on his bottom lip.

He was most definitely feeling like a whole new person. The melancholy still had a place in his heart, and he still felt betrayed. But he also realized how the hopelessness had given way to something else, something warmer and happy that he genuinely thought he would never feel again after falling into that pit of depression and self-hatred.

All because you were human, despite any curse, and you still cared for him. You weren't scared. You didn't give up on him, even when his mood was sour and combative. If a human like you – someone who's way nicer, way more understanding than all those other people he met – could see him as a friend and not a threat, then he knew that hope wasn't lost for him. As long as you were by side, you were proof that Lyca could be a human just like anyone else because you already saw him as such, even when his wolf ears and tails were out.

“... yeah.” He answered. “Thanks.”

You gave him a relieved smile and leaned in to ruffle his hair.

“Always, big guy.”

He scoffed, putting his hands on his head to protect his newly brushed hair from your attack.

“You wanna nap?” You asked, laughing at his attempts to defend his fluffy, neat hair. Who would've thought he'd care so much about a pretty combed hair.

“Mhm.” He hummed in affirmation, eyes immediately getting heavier and heavier after he snuggled himself inside the covers

And when you two were tucked into bed, Lyca rested his head close enough to you to hear you human heart beating. It softly lulled him into a sleep without hauntings, nor nightmares – a sleep with dreams in which other people looked at him with the same amount of affection and care as he could already so clearly see in your eyes.

[noxiousgrace]

In my mind i keep assuming krs spent his entire life alone and surviving on his own

But that isn't the case, there's clearly proof that he was at some level helped by other people

He mentions it often

He was saved by social workers from his uncle when he was a kid

LSH saved his life

Grandma kim always looked after him like her own son while LSH was gone

CJS and LSH died for him

And so many other incidents

But why does it feel like he's still all alone?

I think his tendency to self isolate is why i keep assuming he survived on his own, when he very much didn't.

Everyone fails him or leaves him eventually, he ends up all alone so often that it's hard for me to think about krs as someone who's had support.

He's had the rug pulled out from underneath him so many times, that it no longer shocks him anymore (take chapter 1-3 for example, he was so chill about waking up in another world and stated he didn't have anyone who he'd miss

But that isn't true either, krs spent 10-ish years of his life as team leader and protected his coworkers time and time again, of course people would miss him. In elisehns illusion, Kim Min Ah and Bae Puh Rum came to check up on krs who hadn't returned to work.

While he mentions the physical support and companionship he's received from other people, his mental wounds run too deep.

He keeps a very clinical count of who he owes and who owes him in return, support is not a familial thing to him, it's transactional

The biggest reason grandma Kims death affected him so much was that he owed her A LOT, she was always quick to have his back and support him, Willing to treat his bruises over and over again despite her ability being limited.

Same with CJS and LSH, they supported him more than his own family ever did (parents dead and an abusive uncle), he was devastated that he couldn't spend the rest of his life with them in order to "pay back" all of their kindness so far.

He doesn't feel responsible for their deaths, but he feels responsible for every opportunity he lost to care about them in return. He mourns the future he could've had with them and the happiness krs could've brought to CJS and LSH.

"you can't smooth things over with the dead" is something he said in the novel, around the time choi han figures out who he is and krs is ready for CH to be extremely upset with him.

Krs!Cale feels responsible for everyone who shows kindness to him, a part of it is because whenever someone has cared about him, his heart always cared about them in return. And krs caring about people caused them to get hurt, that's why he feels the need to protect them so that they don't fall victim to krs' affection, and he actually has enough time with them for their "kindness" to be evened out.

This is why he's annoyed when his group grows larger and larger because of his subconscious altruism, there's so many opportunities for all of them to get hurt before he's done caring about them to the amount he thinks is acceptable, it worries his emotionally stunted heart.

Anywho, i think he feels alone to me because of how little he opens up to other people. He is a self isolating king and manages to be the most famous man ever.

I want him to open up that scarred heart of his and finally allow himself to be loved beyond transactions.

[ellecdc]

What about the kids (CBBH) seeing the ‘mudblood’ scar on Vix arm for the first time, and then the kids, specially Draco, trying to comfort her.

James and Sirius feeling guilty again because (James) “abandoned” her (no he didn’t) and (Sirius) cause he couldn’t protect her

Thank you so much, feel free to ignore it if you want to, but thank you anyway

Take care and don’t forget to drink water❤️

Ps: I love everything you write, thank you so much for providing us those precious chapters

*Takes a big ol' sip of water* *Cracks knuckles* *types furiously*

I LOVE these kinds of requests...I love diving deeper into the relationships and the histories further than what CBBH covered, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this! 🫶

CBBH Sirius Black x Vix!reader CW: hurt/comfort, discussions of war, PTSD, trauma, guilt, reference to death of a loved one, children, spoiler alerts if you haven't finished CBBH

The Mind Forgets but the Heart Doesn't

It had been a really trying week. 

Percy and the Twins had gotten into it during class one day this week at Potter Manor, and though James and Molly did what they could to placate the situation when it happened, it seemed to bleed out into the other kids as well.

Harry and Draco didn’t seem to be able to agree on anything at all anymore, Jasmine felt the need to play mediator to their squabbles which just aggravated everyone further, and Aurora was far too sensitive for her own good and took everything anyone said personally.

The adults didn’t seem to be fairing much better either.

You and Lily were expecting at the same time. It was very funny when Lily & James went to announce that they were expecting only to have Y/N & Sirius laugh and say ‘same’. Remus never stopped joking that the family would finally have a ‘set of twins’. 

Lily stopped taking the jokes so well as her pregnancy progressed, however.

“This is absolutely, without a doubt, the last one Potter!” She screeched as she excused herself from the dinner table for the sixth time to pee.

You were such a trooper, but Sirius knew that this pregnancy was taking far more out of you both emotionally and physically than your last one had.

The part that hurt (everyone) the most, was that your brain still associated pain and discomfort with your trauma from the war, and the wounds felt far more fresh lately than they had in a long time.

This left both James and Sirius feeling horribly guilty – James for having left you on the battlefield, and Sirius both for being the cause of your current discomfort and for the months during the war that he spent wallowing when he should have been fighting for you.

Sirius would wake up in the middle of the night and reach for you to find the bed empty. He’d go to check both Aurora and Draco’s room’s first before moving on to the rest of the house.

One particularly upsetting night he found you hiding in the shower after you had a distressing and disturbingly realistic nightmare.

But usually, he found you in the kitchens.

“What are you doing up, my love?” He spoke quietly into the room.

You must have heard him coming because you never even turned your head from where you were sitting; you just offered him a quiet hum in response as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and nuzzled his face into your neck.

His hands would migrate lower to what was usually the reason for your midnight wanders.

“Little one hungry?”

You were quiet for a moment, clearly far away from Potter Manor, before you responded.

“There were times I was only ever able to eat at night... when someone could sneak something to me or I could sneak to the kitchens. But sometimes, now, I wake up a little hungry – and my heart tells me that this is going to be my only chance, and I have to make it count. I tell myself it’s not true but... the anxiety doesn’t go away until I do something about it.”

Sure enough, in front of you on the table was a half-eaten granola bar; evidence of your late-night forage for food.

“What was it that Lily said about those muggle dementia patients?” Sirius asked you as he rubbed up and down your arms.

“The mind forgets but the heart doesn’t.” You responded quietly.

Sirius hummed into your hair as he pressed his lips to the top of your head.

“You’ve done so much work, love. But I don’t think you’ll ever be able to convince your heart to let it go – not fully.”

You sighed miserably, suddenly sounding very close to tears.

“Please be patient with yourself.” He pleaded.

“I’m trying.” You whispered wetly.

“I know, baby. I know.”

This was why the following morning at the breakfast table when Harry – seemingly out of nowhere – asked what a “mudblood” was, the room fell painfully silent.

The adults all seemed to share horrified glances before Regulus spoke up.

“Where did you hear that word, Harry?”

Harry, slightly ashamed now that he seemed to have sucked the air out of the room, looked at you and motioned towards your arm.

Sure enough, as you had reached across the table to pass Remus the plate of bacon, your sleeve had ridden up and your scar was on full display.

Why’d we teach these ankle biters to read? Sirius wondered to himself.

To Sirius’ absolute horror, you seemed to completely shut down. You hastily pulled your sleeve down and moved your arms into your lap, and your eyes turned foggy. 

“Please don’t occlude baby, stay with us.” Sirius begged quietly as he began to rub your arm.

“Haz, when you and Draco were very little, there was a war – do you remember me and daddy telling you about it?” Lily started cautiously.

“Uh huh, when the bad guy hated people who were different and stole Auntie Vix?”

James grimaced before confirming. “Yes, and how Uncle Reggie and Draco’s mummy Narcissa helped her escape and then defeat the bad guy.” 

“Well, the bad guy and his friends did hate people who were different than them. Mostly, they hated non-magical people,” Lily continued.

“Called muggles.” Harry interjected proudly.

“Right, he hated muggles. And he hated muggle-born witches and wizards as well.” James finished.

“But...mummy and Aunt Lily are muggle-born...” Draco added quietly from his place.

James nodded. “That’s right. And because they hated them, they made up a bad word to call muggle-born’s.”

“That’s what mudblood is, Harry. It’s a bad word to call a muggle-born witch or wizard.” Regulus spoke softly.

Jasmine gasped. “Mum! Did Harry say a bad word!?”

“I was only asking a question!” Harry screeched in his own defence.

“But... why is the bad word on your arm?” Draco asked quietly, looking at you.

Your son addressing you directly seemed to pull you out of yourself a little as you offered him a sad smile. “Well, when the bad guy stole me, I wouldn’t tell him what they wanted to know.”

“What did the bad guy want to know?” Jasmine asked curiously. 

Harry elbowed his sister for interrupting, which earned him a whack on the head in return, which caused Remus to switch seats with his niece in an effort to keep the peace.

“They wanted to know where your mummy and daddy and Harry were. They also wanted to know where Pads and Moony and everyone else in the Order were.” 

“Like the Weasley’s!?” Harry asked in horror, as news of your best friend potentially being on some maniac’s hitlist would do to an almost nine-year-old, even though said maniac was already after him and his entire family.

“But you wouldn’t tell them.” Jasmine stated solemnly.

You nodded at your niece. “That’s right.”

“But why was my mum and Uncle Reggie there?” Draco asked. 

You and Sirius both grimaced as you looked to Regulus, whose jaw seemed more tense than usual. 

“Our family comes from a long line of very bad people, Draco. The Black’s...mine and your dad’s family, as well as your mums, were not kind to people who were different from them. They supported the bad guy during the war, I-”

“But dad didn’t support the bad guy...and he’s a Black.” Draco interrupted as he turned to look at his father pleadingly.

Sirius smiled softly at the boy. “Yes, but you see, Draco, I had friends like Uncle Prongs and Uncle Moony, and your mum here, who taught me that it was okay to be different. And Uncle Prongs’ family also gave me a place to go when I no longer agreed or felt safe with my family. Uncle Reggie didn’t have the same kind of friends.” 

“Your friends were bad guys?” Harry asked plainly.

“Yes.” Regulus answered just as plainly. 

“So...my family was...bad?” Draco asked quietly, looking between you, Sirius, and Regulus.

“Not all of them baby, not Uncle Reggie, and not your mum.” You tried to placate, but Draco didn’t bite.

“But they were there! Supporting the bad guy! That makes them bad!” He insisted.

“No, it made us cowards.” Regulus corrected the boy. “I was too afraid to ask your dad or his friends for help, even though I knew that Sirius would take me in if I asked him to. And your mum did what was expected of her, Draco. Your mum believed marrying your dad and having you was the right thing to do.”

“Draco,” you said quietly as the boy tried to fight back tears. “If your mum and Uncle Reggie hadn’t been there, I would not be alive today. And quite frankly, I think that could be the same for a lot of us in this room. They saved us, baby. Your mummy saved you. There’s nothing bad about that.”

Draco still seemed perturbed by this but looked back down to your now hidden scar.

“But someone...hurt you? With that word? Was it my family?”

You shared a look with Sirius who offered you a small nod before you answered. “It was. It was your aunt...your mum’s sister.”

Draco seemed distraught at the news; his mouth turned down miserably and his eyes filled with tears. “My family was bad.”

“Dad, was my family bad!?” Harry asked severely. 

“Haz, hang on, okay bubs?” James asked quietly. 

“That’s right Draco, your family was bad.” You said.

Every head – child and adult alike – whipped to face you.

“They were bad people...but they’re not anymore. Your family is the people in this room, and your mum who died protecting you. You have Uncle Reggie, who was so brave to save me and to turn against the bad guy he was supposed to be loyal to. You have Uncle Moony, who despite doing very hard things every month, doesn’t ask anything of anyone and gives so much of himself to the people he loves. And you have Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily, who helped us raise you when daddy and I had no idea what we were doing. And you have Haz, and Jazzy, and Rory and two new siblings coming soon. That’s your family, Draco, and they’re not bad at all.”

Draco scanned the room of all the people he loved the most as a few tears fell, and Sirius was quick to catch them with his finger from his place beside him. 

“I’m sorry the bad guys hurt you, mummy. I wish they hadn’t.” He offered finally.

“Oh! I know!” Aurora piped up out of nowhere (Sirius actually sort of forgot his own daughter was present at the breakfast table) and quickly stood from her seat to hurry away. 

Before the adults had time to ponder where the child had gone, she reappeared beside her mum with the first aid kit from one of the loos and her toy Mediwitch Kit. 

“Okay, mummy. Show Healer Ro where it hurts.” She demanded you in her most authoritative tone, which still sounded far too much like Alvin the Chipmunk to be taken at all seriously.

Sirius grinned down at his girl and pulled her up into his lap (for better access, of course) as you pulled your sleeve up on your arm to expose your scar.

Aurora tapped a fake wand to the injury and held a stethoscope to her ear. “It sounds good mummy; means you’ll be fine.”

“Oh, good.” You sighed in faux relief, failing to bite back the proud smile adorning your face.

“Yup, now just needs plasters. I have some golden snitches, unicorns, or bowtruckles, mummy. Which would you like?”

“I think she ought to have some of each, Ro.” Harry interjected from across the room.

“Quite right, Haz. Healer Ro, could you use some assistance with the plasters?” Sirius asked like a spokesman on a game show.

“Yes sir!” She answered, and each kid took turns applying plasters to your scar and kissing it better.

“Looks better already!” Jasmine cheered after their work was complete.

“Hmmmm...I don’t know...” Sirius said skeptically. “Could use a few more kisses I think.” Before he attacked you with kisses, and the kids followed in suit shortly after.

@ttulipwritezz

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello hope you're well 👍 I've read all you're Bi-han fics and I'm obsessed with how well you write him 💗 Can I request a continuation of the one where he's S/O got severely injured? Maybe after they healed they were left with lots of scars and every time Bi-han see them (whether in bed or when S/O clothes don't hide them ) he feels immense amounts of regret. Perhaps to close off this theme they could both talk about the situation with S/O reassuring Bi-han that it happened once and never again . Sorry if this is too long or if it's too angsty feel free to dismiss it if you're uncomfortable with the prompt 👍

I’m doing well and thank you for reading my stuff for I was certain that like half of it were shoddy due to character inaccuracies 😂 but at least I’m doing something right!

Part 1

‘I can feel you staring Bi-Han.’ You stated and you couldn’t find it within yourself to hold it against him. After finally waking up from your comatose, the first thing you saw as the bandages were taken off was scars of every kind imaginable; Some were crisscrossed with others whilst others took up an entire limb. There was no denying that you could have died in the medbay that very same day you were brought in but no, you were extremely lucky to even have been able to wake up from all that.

You were blessed with another chance to live but none of that mattered to you, what did however was seeing Bi-Han at your bedside looking worse for wear. His silken raven black hair was disheveled and unkept compared to it’s usual style, his dark eyes were dull and lifeless, the dark bags underneath them only proved to further push this narrative of a man who hadn’t had a descent nights sleep in a long while. He looked so unlike the Bi-Han you knew that when you reached out to stroke back a couple of loose strands from his forehead, he was quick to firmly grab ahold of your wrist before looking at you, you could clearly see the hurt and the brokenness within them.

‘I could’ve been there,’ Bi-Han said his eyes would linger on the long, jagged scar that ran diagonally across your back, ‘no, had I known what I know now, I would’ve stopped you from going on that mission.’ The guilt was still eating him up from the inside it seemed and it absolutely broke your heart that he felt fully responsible, and yet in Bi-Han’s mind, he was and should be held responsible for your predicament. It didn’t make things better that whenever he saw the scars that were now a permanent part of your body, he was reminded that he failed you on all accounts and he swore to himself that he’d never let it happen again.

Even if that meant having to withhold you from participating in future missions for the foreseeable future, Bi-Han will do it. He just couldn’t go through all that. He had already emotionally destroyed himself from almost losing you, loosing valuable sleep in exchange for watching over you, and so on and so forth that he doesn’t think that he could do it again. For every time he closes his eyes, all he saw was you lying in the medbay almost lifeless, it continued to haunt him well after you were dismissed by the medics, leaving him to determine whether or not you were fit to head back out there.

You were quick to slip on your night shirt before joining Bi-Han in bed and reaching across to hold his hands without your own, brushing your thumb across his knuckles reassuringly. ‘Don’t do this to yourself Bi-Han.’ You started. ‘You didn’t know and you shouldn’t hold it over yourself either, it’s not healthy and you’ll end up running yourself into the ground with guilt that isn’t yours to begin with.’ You gripped Bi-Han’s hand tighter as you cradled it to your chest, pressing gentle kisses into his skin, in hopes of assuring him that you were with him and not some figment of his imagination. ‘I don’t to have the heart to watch you tear yourself apart. I was hurt, yes, but here I am. You can feel my hand holding yours, you can feel my body warmth and you can see that I am breathing.’

You stopped your speech halfway to look Bi-Han deep in the eye and asked; ‘Isn’t that all the proof you need to know that I am alive? that I am flesh, blood and bone and nothing else?’ But when he said nothing and avert his dark and tired gaze from your own, you huffed and hauled yourself into his lap, grabbing ahold of his face between you hands, whilst his hands immediately went straight to your waist as though it were routine for them. ‘Look at me.’ You say softly but revived nothing, not even a glance and it hurt. ‘Bi-Han I want you to look at me!’ You then exclaimed, causing him to look at you and not through you like he has been during these past couple of days as though you were a ghost.

‘This won’t happen ever again.’ You told him firmly, pressing your head against his, feeling him sigh as he relaxed within your touch; feeling confident in the fact that you weren’t going to up and disappear on him like his mind had made him believe. ‘How can you be so certain that this won’t be echoed later on.’ Bi-Han finally said. You smiled softly. ‘I can’t but you’ll just have to put your trust in me that it won’t.’ You knew that wasn’t the answer Bi-Han was looking for, but with the way he was holding you against him as though trying to meld you against him. ‘I’ll hold you to your word, but until then you’re under my supervision until further notice.’ He said against your lips that widened into a smile as you cuddled yourself further into his chest as sleep began to invade.

‘You say that like that’s a bad thing.’ You cheeked and you were certain that you heard him let out a chuckle. He was healing, healing slowly yes, but that was enough of a start for you.

[ninii-winchester]

Unveiled Sorrows (Part 9)

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester X Reader (platonic)

Word count: 4k

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, mentions of sex, Taylor Swift reference (?)

A/n : This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

The drive back home was quiet. Dean was apprehensive about going back to the house but Y/n had put her foot down and told him she'd spend the night in the car than let Adeline anywhere near Samuel. She didn't trust him anymore.

"Uhm I only have one guest bedroom." Y/n said entering the house. Sam and Dean trailing in behind her.

"I'll stay here." Sam said pointing to couch on the living room. "The doors broken and I'm not sleepy anyway."

"I don't need the room either." Dean said looking at Adeline. "I'll grab a chair for your room. I need to make sure you two are safe." Y/n didn't argue. She was too tired.

"Can you watch her while I clean up?" She asked Dean who nodded taking Adeline from her arms. The little baby was already off to dreamland.

The two brothers sat beside each other, Dean was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Sam got up and grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge handing one to his brother.

"We need to talk." Sam said sitting back down. Dean looked at his brother wondering what he wants. "What more do you need to make up your mind?" Sam asked his older brother. He seemed angry.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dean said making Sam want to punch his face.

"I could punch you right now." Sam glared at him.

Dean's phone rang in his pocket and he tried to fish it out from his pocket so the ringing doesn't wake Addy. He pulled out his phone saw the caller ID.

"It's Lisa, could you hold her for me?" Sam rolled his eyes and took his niece from him. Dean walked a few steps away and then answered the phone.

"Hey, uh everything okay?"

"You tell me, Dean, are you okay? You said you'd be back by morning." Lisa asked softly.

"Yeah we uh... kinda ran into trouble." Dean replied vaguely.

"Are you okay? Who's we?" Lisa was worried.

"Me, Sam, Y/n and Adeline."

"Y/n and Adeline? Are they okay? What happened?"

"They're okay...now. Sam and I we got here in time."

"Dean." Lisa sighed.

"What?"

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Yeah I'm aware but it'd be nice if you'd elaborate." He chuckled.

"You're being an idiot, you're suffering and you're making them suffer. They're your family, they need you. And you need them just as much."

"Lisa.." Dean started but she interrupted him

"Dean, Adeline needs her father, i know how y/n feels, its hard watching your child grow up without a father, nobody would know better than me." She spoke softly as if talking to a child. "Think about Addy, Dean. It'll scar her for life knowing her father didn't choose her, when he clearly had a choice." Dean turned and watched his daughter sleeping in his brother's arms. The line went silent for a few seconds when she called his name.

"Yeah I hear ya."

"Think about Y/n, she loves you, you're crazy about her. I know what you're doing, Dean. You're deflecting, running away. It's not going to get you anywhere." Dean sighed knowing she's right. "Ben and I are safe Dean. You made us move, we started a new life, we're happy. its about time you do the same. Chase your happiness."

"You're right I guess." Dean let out a breath. "I don't know what to say."

"You could say thanks." He could hear the smile in her in her tone. "And do all of us a favour and stay there."

"Yeah, thanks Lisa." He smiled and hung up.

He walked back towards Sam, and huffed while plopping down beside him.

"What's up?"

"Uh Lisa kinda kicked me out." Sam gave him a bitch face which clearly said, im-not-in-the-mood-for-your-shit. "Well she told me I'm an idiot who's making everyone's life miserable."

"I'm not sure she said that but I totally agree with her." Sam replied.

Before Dean could reply Y/n emerged from the hallway into the living room, she looked fresh but tired. Her hair was wet and she was wearing a loose t shirt and some shorts.

"I'll take her." She said gesturing towards Adeline. "Sam, some of your clothes are in the guest bedroom, you can freshen up." The aforementioned man nodded and looked at his brother with a we'll-talk-later look. She watched Sam leave and turned to Dean. "You can use my bathroom, if you want. I'll order something."

"I'll wait till Sam comes back. Not leaving you here alone." Dean replied watching her as she ordered food.

After Sam came back, Dean went to shower, he didn't have his clothes with him so he had to make good with Sam's clothes. Which were a bit oversized for him. After dinner Sam promised he'd clean up and insisted Y/n retire to her room. Adeline was sleeping soundly in her crib.

"I'll be there in a minute." Dean called out behind her, feeing the need to reassure her. God knows she needs it. She nodded and left wordlessly.

"So what exactly did Lisa say?" Dean filled Sam in with conversation he had with Lisa earlier.

"I don't know how someone like you ends up bagging such wise women." Sam wondered out loud. Dean glared at his younger brother but didn't comment on it. "So what you gonna do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"You want to me to go in there and tell her that the woman I lived with kicked me out so I need her back?" Sam swore he could throttle his brother and he even moved his hands to wrap around his neck but stopped himself.

"Is that how it is?" Sam asked and Dean immediately shook his head. "Then her exactly how it is! You idiot." Sam rubbed his hand over his face. His brother might be a genius when it comes to monsters but he's a nutjob when it comes to feelings.

Y/n watched Dean's silhouette enter the room and drag a chair beside the bed. It was completely dark except for the moonlight peeking in through the window.

"You really don't have to." Her voice quiet in the dark, he stopped his actions as he heard her voice. "That chair would be uncomfortable. Get in the bed."

Dean didn't say anything but got under the covers beside her. Ten minutes passed in silence and again Y/n spoke up,

"Dean I'm trying to sleep." He looked at her in confusion.

"I'm not even doing anything." He replied.

"The cogs in your brain are too damn loud. Stop thinking." Y/n murmured. Dean sighed shifting on the bed. "Talk to me." She said propping her head on her elbow.

"It's.."

"Nothing." She completed. "I've heard that before." He peered up at her face, her expressions unreadable.

"I don't know where to start." Dean said staring at the ceiling.

"Whatever comes to mind." Dean took a deep breath before he spoke.

"I'm sorry." His eyes flickered to her face. She was patiently waiting for him to continue. "I am so sorry for being a mess. I..I ruined us, I was a coward. I'm sorry for hurting you. I know keep saying that, I keep trying to push you away because i want to you to be safe. I hate that I couldn't protect you or Addy." Dean felt himself tearing up.

"Dean, you keep pushing us away, why do you think its the only way? Maybe if you hadn't left we could've been safe. You could've protected us. You can't keep assuming you being with us is a bad thing unless you try, how bad could it actually be? I don't think anything could be worse than what happened today."

"I know that now, I just love you so much. I know I don't deserve to ask anything from you but if you could give me another chance, I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you."

"What about-"

"They'll be fine." Dean answered before she could even ask. "I am done running, I want to own up to my mistakes. I wanna be with you, and Adeline, where ever you two are. I want to save you, from every bad thing out there."

"Dean, you don't need to save me," she whispered looking at him. "But would you run away with me?" She grinned at him. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

He smiled at her. "We could do whatever you want, I'm okay with everything as long as you're mine. We could take it slow if you want."

"We've already wasted so much time. I don't want to take it slow. I know you're it for me." His gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips. He pressed his lips against hers, they just as soft as he remembered. Their lips clashed against each other, tongues fighting for dominance. She pushed herself up to straddle his waist but he pushed her back on the bed, hovering above her.

"As much as I want to," he breathed heavily. "You're hurt."

"Dean."

"Baby no. I promise I'll give you whatever you want but just heal for me first." She nodded and he pecked her lips laying beside her. "Sleep now." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

The events of the day finally caught up to her and she was drifting into deep slumber. The next morning she woke up she half expected the bed to be empty but when she opened her eyes, she was met with bright green eyes already looking at her.

"Good morning." Dean smiled.

"Morning." She snuggled closer to him. She was more relieved than she'd like to admit.

"You sleep good?" She hummed in response wrapping her arms around his torso. He chuckled pulling her closer.  It was suspiciously quiet and Y/n wondered how Addy hadn't woken up yet or in the middle of the night. She shot up her position on the bed and winced when she felt pressure on her stitches.

"Hey what's wrong?" Dean asked. She didn't answer and walked towards the crib which was empty.

"Dean, Addy." She gasped, tears brimming her eyes.

"Baby calm down, Sam has her." Dean told her and she walked out of the room sighing in relief when she saw her daughter sitting on Sam's chest and slapping his face with quite force if she may say so. "See she's okay." Dean said wrapping his arms around her from behind. She nodded relaxing in his arms. She turned her face to kiss him and he didn't hesitate to kiss back.

"Are you two always going to be this gross from now on?" Sam's voice made them pull away.

"Yes." Y/n replied.

"I'll go make breakfast." Dean said walking into the kitchen but Y/n pulled him back and kissed him, tongue and all. Sam made puking noises. They pulled away and Y/n smirked at Sam and he rolled his eyes at her.

"I think Addy and I should go to the park. I don't want to sit here and watch cheap porno." Sam sassed.

"Aren't you brutal these days, Sammy." Y/n pouted at her best friend.

"He actually is." Dean yelled from the kitchen.

"What so now you two are going to gang up on me?" Sam scoffed playfully.

"No, but Sam something is weird about you. And no I'm not talking about your height." Y/n replied with a smirk.

"Try being surrounded by dumbasses all the time." Sam retorted. "I am just tired." He rubbed his face, still holding Adeline firmly. "Do me a favour and pack your stuff." Sam added.

"What for?"

"You're not staying here, not anymore." Dean said coming out of the kitchen. "Breakfast's ready."

The three of them walked inside the kitchen where Dean has sit up food on the counter. Coffee, waffles and eggs. Sam poured himself as cup of coffee, Adeline still in arms who was now biting and drooling over his shoulder.

"And who decided that?" Y/n asked taking a sip of her coffee.

"We did." Sam shrugged.

"Sam we've had this conversation before, I told you Addy isn't going to grow up in this life. I want her to be normal. I am out for good." Y/n said with a scowl on her face.

"And that's how it's going to be." Dean replied. "Just not here, we'll find a new place for us. You're out and no one's dragging you back, I promise." He added softly.

"I liked this place." She pouted. Dean let out a laugh and kissed her pouty lips.

"We'll find an even better place, okay?"

"One moment of peace." Sam hissed. "Is all I ask for."

"Suck it up, buttercup." Y/n teased.

"Cmon Addy, let's go somewhere we're loved." Sam said to the baby who just stared at her uncle.

"Aye gigantor, give me my baby." She said making grabby hands towards him. He rolled his eyes but place Addy in her arms nonetheless.

"By the way... I forgot to ask." Sam started. "Why were you half naked when we found you?"

Y/n choked on her waffle and avoided looking at either of the men.

"You okay?" Dean asked handing her a glass of water. She took it gratefully and nodded. Sam raised his brow at her and she wanted to murder him right there.

"Uhm you see the moment he came here I knew he was a shifter."

"How?" Dean asked.

"Because he came in as Sam and i had just gotten of the phone with him and Sam told me there's shifter in town collecting his babies." Y/n replied making the other to nod, urging her to go on. "I assumed he didn't know the relationship between us, he just came here because he saw you coming here so I thought..." she trailed off awkwardly.

"You thought that you'd seduce him." Sam replied with a grin, ready to tease the wits out of her. She glared at him in return.

"Hey, not my fault the XY chromosome is stupid like that, be it a monster or human. I took my top off he got distracted enough for me to stab him." Y/n replied defensively. The two men laughed at her words.

"That might actually be true." Dean added shaking his head.

After breakfast the three of them packed all of y/n and Adeline's things and stuffed it into Sam's car. They had Sam run to store and get a carseat for Adeline since y/n didn't have a car and never needed one. After strapping in they drove to their destination. But had to make a quick stop at Lisa's to get Dean's stuff and obviously his other other baby, The Impala. It was quick but a pleasant meeting.

"Oooh I missed baby." Y/n said walking over to the Impala and sitting in passenger's seat.

"Hm she missed you too." Dean replied getting behind the wheel after strapping in Adeline. "I've got three of my best girls here, aint I a lucky man?" Dean marvelled at the sight.

"Even after years, I'm still competing with a car." Y/n sighed playfully.

"There's competition, sweetheart." Dean looked at her lovingly. "No one can take baby's place." He added playfully.

"Dean Winchester, you're annoying" She swatted his arm lightly. He pulled her in a for a kiss.

"Don't worry baby you're my number one." He mumbled against her lips. The ringing of Dean's phone made them pull apart.

"Are you two done making out in the car because I'd like to get there before dark." Dean heard Sam's irritated voice from the phone. He just chuckled, hanging up he revved the engine to life and they drove off.

A knock of the door made Bobby look up from the book he was reading. He wasn't expecting anyone so he grabbed his gun before walking towards the door. He aimed the gun and then opened the door. He rolled his eyes and put the gun on the table beside the door. It was Sam and Dean.

The old man went back inside and the other two followed. Y/n was hidden behind their tall frames so he didn't see her. The three of them went inside. Dean carried the carseat in which Adeline was napping.

"So what do i owe this pleasur-" Bobby stopped mid sentence as he saw y/n, a few cuts and bruises littered over her face.

"Heya Bobby." She hugged the old man.

"What happened?" He asked and they filled him in. "All that happened and you couldn't give me a call?" He said frustratedly. "Are you three ever going to let me live peacefully.?"

"I don't think so, no." Y/n chuckled. Sam and Dean nodded their head along with her comment.

"Oh dear, you're the only sane person in this family." Bobby said picking Adeline from her car seat.

"Yeah just about until she doesn't start walking on her own." Dean smirked. "Insanity is in the genes, Bobby." He added sarcastically.

"Out of my sight." The old man replied.

"Don't worry about that, we'll go house hunting tomorrow." Y/n said excitedly.

"What you didn't learn your lesson this time?" Bobby asked rolling his eyes.

"All I want is Addy to grow up in a normal house and a normal life and that's not gonna happen in a house filled with guns and thousands of lore books." Y/n said exasperatedly, gesturing to all the books around her.

Nobody spoke after, an unsaid agreement was made. The next morning y/n and Dean went to look for available houses. They agreed to stay in Sioux Falls, Dean insisted it's safer to be close to Bobby's, just in case something happens when he's away.

"I can't believe it." Y/n whispered as she and Dean signed the lease of their new house.

"Can't believe what?" Dean asked.

"This, us, all of it." She replied looking around the house.

"I know baby, feels surreal." He walked towards her and kissed her. "But this is us, now."

"Yeah. You think Sam will like it? And Addy?" Y/n asked him with hopeful eyes.

"They'll love it." He wrapped an arm around her.

A month after moving in their new house, it was peaceful. This was the closest to being normal Dean felt. He was being the most amazing boyfriend to y/n and even better father to Adeline. One morning Dean decided to wake his girl with kisses and breakfast in bed, y/n groaned pushing him away.

"Five more minutes, D." She mumbled. He hovered above her and peppered her face with kisses. She blinked her eyes open. "I could get used to this sight." She smirked dragging her nails across his bare chest. He chuckled as she pulled him down and purred in his ear, "I think you owe me something, now that I'm completely healed." Dean let out a laugh and nipped at her jaw and dragged his nose along the column of her neck, leaving soft kisses.

"DEAN." Sam burst into the room and the older brother jumped off of the bed. Y/n was clothed but still pulled the covers to her chest.

"Sam what the fuck?" Dean growled at his brother.

"Uh I found a case.." Sam replied sheepishly.

"You found a case.." y/n drawled and her eyes landed on the clock beside her bed. "It's six in the morning." She groaned.

"Yeah I had a long night." Sam replied. "People are dropping like flies, Dean. We have to go." His words held urgency and Dean sighed.

"Can't you wait for like two hours or something?" Dean asked irritation lacing his voice.

"Dean people are dying in really weird ways." Sam pressed.

"You should go." Y/n spoke from the bed.

"Baby.."

"Dean.." He shrugged in defeat.

"Alright I'll meet you by the car in 20." Dean said to Sam who nodded and left the room.

"You go get ready and I'll check on Addy." Y/n got up and pecked his lips pushing him towards the bathroom. She walked to the crib placed in they their room, she still wasn't comfortable leaving Addy alone in the nursery. She watched her sleep peacefully. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and she melted into the embrace.

"You've been staring at her for like ten minutes, it's creepy, sweetheart." Dean murmured in her ear.

"Shut up and get your ass moving." She replied playfully. "I wanna lock the door and sleep some more."

"Too eager to get rid of me?" He smirked.

As if sensing her father's departure little Adeline woke up from her slumber and started wailing loudly. Dean immediately picked up his baby in his arms and hushed her while gently rocking her. "Daddy's angel woke up to say bye huh?" That didn't make Adeline feel any better and Dean didn't feel like going anymore. "Awe baby I'm sorry." He cooed. "What do you say we let Uncle Sammy go on his own?" Dean suggested.

"Dean.." y/n said in reprimanding tone. "I know it's hard but we'll be here when you get back, yeah?"

"Yeah." He nodded and kissed Adeline's head. "Daddy's gonna be back before you know it, be good for mommy okay angel?" Y/n took Adeline from him and followed out to the door. Dean opened the door and turned around, "you be safe. Anything happens you call me or head to Bobby's okay?"

"Yes don't worry about us and focus on the job, don't die okay?"

With one last kiss, Dean walked out of the door. Y/n waved at Sam who was impatiently waiting by the car. She closed the door and double locked it once they drove off.

The day went by just as how it goes usually. It was around nine pm when Dean called her. She answered the phone almost immediately, eagerly wanting to know all about the hunt. As Dean filled her in with all the adventures the brother's went through, she listened eagerly. She missed hunting, she missed the the feeling of adrenaline pumping through her veins but all above that she loved Adeline. And she wouldn't risk anything happening to her.

"I'm just glad you two are okay and the hunt went well." Y/n said as Dean finished speaking.

"Yeah. Can't wait to be back with you and Addy." He replied. He paused for a minute he spoke again. "Thank you, Sweetheart."

"For what Dean?"

"For giving my dumbass another chance. For putting up with me over the years. For loving me. I can't ever make up to you for hurting you how I did but-"

"Dean, it's all in the past. I forgave you. Even if it may be a little selfish on my part but I want you. I've always wanted you. So just forget about it." Y/n replied, assuring him that they're way past whatever happened.

"I don't care if you're being selfish, or if you want to use me. Just know that I'm your problem now." Dean chuckled. "I'm at your disposal. I love you."

"No chick flick moments, De." Y/n giggled over the phone and Dean rolled his eyes at her even if she couldn't see. "But I love you too. And I miss you too much, so hurry your ass back home." Dean let out a laugh at her commanding tone.

“I’ll be home soon. You take care of yourself. Kiss Adeline goodnight for me.” Dean replied before hanging up.

Things have finally changed. For better.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber

@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart

@riah1606 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @hobby27

@suckitands33

[inoreuct]

horse girl zoro/prince sanji au that @redgitanako and i talked about way back when because it suddenly crossed my mind OKAY HERE WE GO

zoro’s a travelling bounty hunter with three horses. yes, three. don’t tell kitetsu and enma but wado’s his favourite

wado was kuina’s horse; when kuina died she was so sad because she didn’t get why kuina was gone and for a while zoro had to emotionally support a horse AND himself, but horses are smart creatures. wado understood by herself after a while. they don’t really talk about it.

on that note, zoro talks to his horses. people look at him like he’s a few crayons short of the whole pack but they don’t say anything because he looks scary as hell; built like a brick wall, one eye gone, gnarly scar across his chest and all

(they’ll never know that he’s having an argument with enma about buying supplies where one party is contributing in possibly-misinterpreted horse looks. the crayons aren’t missing— but it’s admittedly a little hard to prove they’re there, zoro, we can’t keep defending you like this)

sanji's the third prince of the kingdom that hires him; sora’s the queen, and his siblings are all decent other than regular sibling assholery. judge is on the run and they’ve made the collective decision that they want his head on a stick.

zoro expects sanji to be a stuck-up priss because he LOOKS like a stuck-up priss— look at his perfect hair. his clothes. his heeled boots and his stupid curly eyebrows

but NO. well, yes, sanji IS a little bit of a stuck-up priss but also, he’s good with horses?? wado takes to him like a DREAM and zoro's flabbergasted because anybody who has ever tried to coddle her other than zoro or kuina has gotten kicked in the head, but sanji's petting at her neck and cooing at her in baby-talk and she's licking sugar cubes and apple slices out of his palm. zoro feels so betrayed.

like of COURSE his horse had to take a liking to the boy he hates OF ALL PEOPLE.

(zoro. at this moment the horse is smarter than you. listen to her.)

reiju’s the princess here, but sanji’s the one who got all the magic-esque affinities. animals LOVE him. he would be a literal disney princess if not for the fact that he doesn’t love them back

like SQUIRREL. WHY ARE YOU SHITTING ALL OVER MY YARD. GO AWAY. WHY IS A DOG TRYING TO LICK MY HAIR. WHYYY IS THIS BIRD BRINGING ME STICKS ALL THE TIME. he’s trying to fall asleep. he hears a TSKTSKTSKTSKTSKTSKTSK. he sits up and gets right out of bed and starts yelling at the lizard on the ceiling.

he does have a pretty mare called maple, though! (and zoro can’t help but love her too; it’s a sign that the mosshead doesn’t clock until much, much later)

and then zoro comes into his life with his three horses and sanji yanks him in by the collar like "listen up, swordsman. i do not CARE how sweet your horses are. i do not CARE how— how— WHATEVER you are. if you stink up my stable i will make you sleep in it, are we clear?" and zoro just nods because he’s having a bit of a gay crisis

sanji is 1. pretty 2. entirely able to hold his own and 3. Wado Approved™ and zoro does NOT know how to deal. at all. he’s holding onto wado’s reins for dear life. he wonders if the same ultimatum would apply if he swapped out the word stable for bed and immediately wants to dunk himself into the horse trough.

meanwhile sanji isn’t spared at all. sora sits on her throne, one eyebrow raised as her son goes on and on about how "mother i hate the swordsman you hired. he's green. and ugly. like a troll. like an OGRE. his hands are too big. his boots are too shiny. his earrings are cute but only because i want them. his EVERYTHING smells like horse. he might as well be a horse with how strong he is, did you know how many hay bales he carried at once??" and she’s just like,,, "honey are you sure this is hate"

she certainly wouldn’t mind them being together. zoro is rough around the edges and does smell a bit like horse, admittedly, but he was clearly raised right— he’s respectful in his own gruff way and he does things with immense care. sora’s noticed. she knows her son well enough to know that he’s noticed, too.

one day sanji bumps into zoro on his way out of the baths and wow. okay. so he doesn’t smell like horse ALL the time and oh his hair is damp and there's a towel around his waist and he is very, very shirtless and sanji turns around in a panic and walks face-first into a pillar.

he watches zoro care for his horses, carefully brushing through their manes and coats as he speaks to them softly, and alright. maybe this guy isn’t all bad. animals, sanji has noticed, are brilliant judges of character; horses especially can be testy and temperamental, and they don’t hesitate to kick anybody they don’t like.

zoro’s horses love him, and it’s obvious. maple looks forward to the snacks he slips her when he thinks that nobody’s looking. that says a lot more about his character than anything else.

after a few days zoro has a solid plan down and sets out to find judge, and suddenly the stables are empty. sanji finds himself going out with maple more and more, exploring the woods around their forest to pass the time because he needs something to keep his mind occupied and there’s only so much he can cook. judge might be a piece of shit, but he’s also an evil genius, and sanji refuses to admit he’s worried even though he is.

and then zoro comes back with judge’s war helmet wrapped in a cloth, gore dripping off the bottom edge as he sets it at sora’s feet.

he’s a little banged up, tired as hell with a couple of scratches here and there— nothing serious, but sanji still drags him to the infirmary and cleans him up perhaps a little more emotionally than either of them had expected

he passes out for a good few days afterwards but sora invites him to stay for a little longer, a time frame that nobody specifies. zoro just kind of… doesn’t leave. it’s strange for him; he’s wandered, always. he gets antsy staying in one place for too long, but this blond prince that is strangely kind and gives back as good as he gets is really something else.

the days pass. they race and bicker and soon enough, all three of zoro’s horses have brass name plaques tacked above what are now their stalls. he had a room in the palace and a place at the dinner table. sanji’s hair has grown long, now, and neither of them talk about the way that zoro’s stay has become something that feels more permanent—

until zoro finally finds the balls to give sanji one of his earrings as a courting gift. it’s the first one of many, but at that moment sanji just looks at it wide-eyed and zoro starts to shrink back all like "if you. don't want it that's alright. i'll get you something new, something else—" because look, he knows he’s not much. he has money, but not enough to give sanji something really nice. not enough to get something that’s more impressive than all the jewels and gold that the prince could have at a whim. he’s a bounty hunter that came from dirt and this earring is the most precious thing he has to offer, but he understands if—

sanji kisses him. yells something borderline incoherent along the lines of about fucking time as he shakes zoro by the shoulders, but he’s smiling very brightly and he’s very beautiful and zoro has a feeling they're going to be just fine.

(sora and the siblings breathe a collective sigh of relief, because the pining looks and dejected sighing were really getting a little ridiculous.)

(they speak too soon. after they get together it somehow gets WORSE.)

this was a ride… (get it. get it.) okay i’ll stop HOPE YOU ENJOYED HEH i know a lot of places are having a flu season/covid wave going around rn so make sure to hydrate and eat well!! muaks 😽

[lisafrankenstan]

As much as I love the relationship between Lisa and the creature, I wanted to think about what it looked like to interpret this movie less literally, and instead, through a lens of someone dissociating and reclaiming their agency through action after severe trauma and alienation.

It’s on the long side, but I’m having fun using my brain again for the first time in ages, so let me know what you think! Totally open to different interpretations; the beauty of art is that it isn’t finished until we witness it and it can mean different things to everyone.

Spoilers under the cut (I’m learning how to use this site, slowly!)

Lisa is introduced to us as quiet, unsure, awkward. Her initial movements while getting ready for the party are even stilted, and in the car she’s very quiet and dreamy-sounding. This is not a person who moves through the world fully in her body. When she talks about not wanting anyone to be forgotten, she’s clearly talking about herself and her mother, because the current familial situation was rushed, even when described by Taffy, its most avid proponent.

Her interactions at the party are negative - Tamara embarrasses her in front of Michael and then drugs her, Doug acts protective but then assaults her *as she talks about her dead mother,* sending her into a horrific trip.

Directly after she stumbles through the graveyard to the headstone and said she wishes she was with Creature, the lightning strike happens — right as she breaks the mirror, fracturing her consciousness.

The dream sequence shows gum, sticking dream!Lisa in her silent film form (selective mutism) to a stone shaped like a person - impenetrable and impossible to kill because he’s already dead.

When the Creature appears, he’s been buried, he’s rotted and falling apart. The song from the dream (Strange by Galaxie 500) plays as she speaks with him against her better judgment. She’s externalized everything about herself that feels damaged and unlovable -the literal scars and decay, the silence, and the violence. He hands her mom’s rosary back to her - indicating his connection to her trauma.

She remarks on how she hasn’t spoken this much in ages, and immediately starts nurturing him in the way no one nurtures her. The dress-up montage is, albeit a silly send up, an addressing of her loss of identity. She stores him in a closet decorated with a famous silent film still from Trip to the Moon (1902) done in glow-in-the-dark, signifying things she hasn’t explored yet but stays aware of, and she’s still trying to maintain that barrier.

The outfit he chooses for her is dark, powerful, and commanding, unlike her other articles.

Janet’s outburst and threat signify a paradigm shift from her perceiving herself as alienated to seeing herself as predated.

She appears shocked at Janet’s death, but embraces it fully after being soothed for a moment. Each death opens her up more - expressively AND emotionally. She dances with the creature made whole, and that’s the first time we hear her laugh open-throated. She’s fully chosen to stop hating herself and place the blame externally, shown when she justifies the events to Creature and the talk after the ‘massage.’

Her attitude shifts, adopting a braggadocio and her hair becomes more and more uncontrolled with her ego, and flowier, darker fabrics are used until the marriage/love scene with Creature - as they are made one, she is in a white shift and made pure by her imminent death.

[unvsannvs]

Okay, I was hit with a wave of realization on my rewatch of this whole scene.

Intense House MD finale analysis below the cut!

House is pissed at Wilson, but then looks at his Vicodin in his hand, giving the most hurt, distraught face I’ve ever seen as he remembers the torture that he and Wilson endured, recalling his trembling hand easing that same pain medication into Wilson’s mouth; House remembered the whole night, and most likely that particular scene, as Wilson begs for morphine, yet could only be supplied those shitty pills. Ultimately, this harsh reminder makes House decide to let Wilson do what he wants; out of guilt, out of understanding, so be it (I’ll explain what I believe it is in a minute.)

On top of this, it transitions from House looking up with that face, sighing shakily, to Wilson, alone in his dim and hollow kitchen, clearly thinking about House as well. It transitions to House again, playing the piano, and glancing up, immediately going back to Wilson, to demonstrate how they are both overthinking their entire lives with each other at the same time. As Wilson goes to grab a drink, this reveals he is thinking of House in a bad light: he’s still pissed at House and he’s looking to repress it through drinking, just as House was pissed at him before making his decision in that recent clip with the Vicodin. But, seeing the Oreos, and being hit with a wave of fondness (his weakness), Wilson then decides to let House have what he wants.

Essentially, their parallel scenes here demonstrate both House and Wilson making their switch in choice to value the other persons needs above all else, and worst of all, they both are persuaded by the one thing that has defined and attracted their characters to each other from the start: House’s misery and recollection of his worst past time with Wilson from seeing his Vicodin persuades him to change his mind for Wilson’s sake, while Wilson’s fondness and recollection of his best past times with House from seeing the Oreos causes him to sacrifice his last decision for House’s sake.

Yeah, that casually slapped me in my noggin. I think I have a scar. Now, you can assume from this new angle of information what you will, but House could have changed his mind for countless reasons.

One idea is that Wilson making this life and death decision for House instead of himself causes House too much grief (House spent a whole episode about furniture trying to get Wilson to do something for himself, and Amber did the same; ‘female house’ doing this as well was a way to emphasize House’s belief that Wilson needs to be more independent and value his own personal wants over others when decision-making, let alone the one that decides his fate).

Maybe, House realizes that he feels incredibly understanding of what pain he let Wilson endure on his sofa - emotionally and physically - and ergo, is scared for Wilson, and can’t stand the thought of him going through that pain again, but in the one place Wilson begged not to be. As House looks at the Vicodin, he envisions Wilson become depressed and constantly in pain like he’d been on that couch, in an awful reflection of House himself from the one person he cares for the most, and all for the sake of House alone, given that in Wilson’s view, he has nothing else to live for.

Another could be that this reminder pushed House to feel a spark of need/love for Wilson’s presence, but more for his fuller, happier and guilt-free self for five months than the pitiful, unwanted version of Wilson in a hospital bed for an extra year.

It could easily be all the above, and most of them blend together anyway. I feel House changed his mind on account of all of these and many more (please let me know what you think it is! I love angsty stuff), but to summarize, this clip leaks way too much about House’s character development, showing the emotions that drive him to make the decision of letting Wilson be, and enjoying what they have left together, against all firm opinions he has well established throughout the show, as well as it demonstrates the climax of Wilson’s sacrificial and selfless behaviour being rejected and put to rest, as they both decide what’s best for each other rather than whatever their characters were full-force dedicated to before (Wilson’s selflessness and House’s selfishness).

[jimmy-j-james]

Okay, I have this really long and angsty request for Ghost x male reader. Let me know if you're up for writing it and take as much time as you need, cuz when I say angsty, i mean it.

Ghost and Reader are dating, Reader is the team's chopper pilot and accompanies them on missions, picks them up if things get out of hand, etc. Before being sent on a mission, Ghost and Reader got into an argument about some silly stuff, during which Ghost, being the emotionally constipated man he is, said a lot of hurtful things to his partner. They were ignoring each other during the mission, as Simon was too proud to apologize and admit to his mistakes and feelings.

But then, as Reader was closing in with his helicopter to pick them up for evac, he was shot down and crashed, the pilot later presumed KIA.

Ghost felt guilty, he regretted the things he said and was miserable, as he lost the love of his life. A few months passed, the team helped him get through it. He was still mourning, but his friends made it easier to handle.

After nearly a year since the incident, during a mission, where they had to clear out an underground warehouse and get some important documents, Ghost got separated from the rest. As he tried to find them, he stumbled upon a closed door, with a chain and lock wrapped on its handles. He broke through it and didn't find the documents on the other side, but Reader.

Covered in blood, scars and bruises, handcuffed and hiding in the corner of the room, with a cloth tied around his eyes, shaking and crying as Ghost approached, scared that it was one of the enemy soldiers, about to hurt him.

The rest is up to you, as this is already too long lol. Hope it doesn't violate the rules, love ya!

WHERE THE WILD THINGS GO

- M!reader x Ghost

- Proofread:

- Genre: Angst (non-specified ending, so either angst fully, or angst w/ comfort)

- Synopsis: Request basically covers it. However, I decided to leave the ending more angst-like, though there is no specified ending.

⚠️Warnings: Heavy, detailed gore⚠️

Angst is happily inspired by the song breezeblocks, by Alt-J

@xweirdo101x your angst 🍽

════════════════

“You don’t know what you’re sayin’.” Simon firmly states, squeezing his eyes shut tightly in hopes it would calm his growing headache. This fight had been going on for near an hour now, with himself and his boyfriend, (y/n), fighting about the pilots possible promotion to field work. “It’s not safe for someone like yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Simon? Am I not capable enough to you?” He snarls in turn, frustrated and upset with the taller male.

“That’s not it! It’s just dangerous. Nothing you’d understand considerin’ your work.” He was far too calm for this argument, only further irking (y/n).

“Considering my work?” He gapes, glaring down at the Brit. “I’m not an idiot. I know the risks! You know what, I don’t see why this is up to you. This is something I want.”

“Fine! Go ahead! Get yourself killed, see if I care!” Simon immediately snaps back, causing (y/n) to flinch back.

It’s silent now. Only the sound of (y/n) holding back his cries, and Simon’s angered pants echoing throughout their quarters. Before the Brit can get the chance to speak, the shorter male is out the door.

“Fuckin’ hell…” Simon groans, taking his seat as he cradles his head in his hands. He had royally fucked up, and that much was clear. But, was he surely in the wrong? (Y/n) had no clue the risk he’d be making if he were to fully place his life on field..

Simon was just looking out for him. He clearly knew what was better for the man’s life. Why wouldn’t he listen..?

════════════════

The argument had clearly done damage, having the two avoid each other these past few days. (Y/n) had been happily spending his time with Gaz, a close friend of his.

Of course, it didn’t go unnoticed by Simon, who scowled at the sight. Gaz meant well, he knew that, but in the time where he couldn’t get the attention of his own boyfriend, it was irking.

“Keep glarin’ like that and ye’ll burn holes into ‘is head, Lt.” Soap comments teasingly, though he immediately backs down as he’s treated with a similar glare. “What’s got yer knickers in a twist?”

“(Y/n) and I had a fight.” He states plainly, his eyes glueing back onto the man’s figure.

“A fight? Jesus Ghost, the two of you’ll be back together in not time.” He chuckles, clearly not understanding the severity of said fight.

“I said things I didn’t mean to… practically told ‘im I didn’t care if he died..” He pauses, taking in a sharp inhale, his eyes still refusing to move from the other “I didn’t mean it.. I just worry… I don’t- I can’t lose him.”

“Why don’t you tell him that after the mission, ay? I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, Lt. You’re both just confused, love-sick kids.” Soap chuckles, nudging into the male with a bright flashy grin.

Ghost doesn’t reply verbally, but instead nods. His eyes finally manage to break free, moving to look towards Soap. “Alright. After the mission.”

════════════════

The given intel had been faulty, leaving Price to desperately call in for an evacuation as his men fought for their lives. “Captain,” (y/n)‘s voice eagerly calls through the radio, his words choppy due to the propellers of his aircraft “heard you needed some air support.”

“(C/n)! Glad to hear your voice, you daft muppet.” The captain teases in turn, glad to have his most trustworthy pilot ready.

“Gonna need you lot to get to a higher point, let’s say.. the water tower.” He grins behind his headset, knowing it wasn’t the most practical point, but who was he if he didn’t enjoy a little danger?

“On it.” Price returns, making a move to examine the area for said tower. “You heard ‘im boys, make it to the evac point, preferably without scratches.”

(Y/n) cackles, eagerly aiding them with few assisting shots. “Try not and get yerself killed, lad!” Soap, just as chaotic, shouts back through his own radio, watching the hefty aircraft glide through the skies.

It’s all fun and games to him, the typical action of attempting tricks with his plane, shooting down at those least expecting of him, and causing absolute misery for his team that prayed for their own safety.

It’s the point of which the team is at the water tower, and when he goes to pick up his boys, he finds himself panicked.

He’s been shot at. Multiple times, nonetheless, and it leaves him crawling down into a nearby forest. A plane on fire and only himself to try and safe him from death.

════════════════

“(Y/n)!” Ghost shouts out, watching as his lover is shot from the sky. His eyes wide as he sees the aircraft go down, followed by dark hues of smoke and a large fire starting up in the forest nearby. “We have to go for him, Price! We can’t just leave ‘im there!” He begs and pleas, looking to the captain hopefully, only to see the man shake his head.

“You know we can’t. That’s one life over multiple.” He strictly states, already calling in for a backup evac.

Ghost panics, frantically trying to push past to climb down the tower. He’s held back by Soap and Gaz, and despite them being just as upset, they knew the captain was right. One life lost was better than all of their lives.

“N-No! We can’t leave him! Don’t leave him! Price- we can still get him!” He cries out, desperately trying to escape their grasps. “Don’t let him die! I don’t- can’t lose him! Please..” Shouts turn to choked out sobs.

It’s out character. To see the Ghost sobbing and begging like a toddler pleading for a toy. He looks absolutely broken. Having lost everything yet again. A cruel joke from God.

He practically dies as he sees the explosion. It shakes the ground a little, and the small wooded area lights up with ash and fire. He gives up, dropping his weight into the two sergeants as he simply stares. He stares in horror and remorse.

He never got to apologize. He’ll never get to apologize.

════════════════

Months had passed. Ghost a broken man, a shell of what he had so generously built up to be.

He refused to speak.. refused to eat and sleep. Most hours of the day spent drinking or lying in bed without thought.

The team often trying to aid him. To provide the comfort he so desperately craved.. but nothing compared to the warm embrace of his lover that he oh so desperately needed.

Why hadn’t he just apologized and admitted fault..? Why hadn’t he just been a better lover?!? Fuck! Why hadn’t he just left the pilot alone in the first place? Nothing good came to those he loved..

════════════════

His pained breaths echo throughout the cell, wheezing and hissing in pain as he’s beaten black and blue. He’s drenched in various substances, alcohol, water, and even his own blood. Multiple forms of torture having taken place throughout the weeks.

He’s not sure how much longer he’ll live, nor does he know if his team would ever find him. He was on his own, alone and injured.

“Are you going to speak yet?” His captor scowls, holding his head up with a tight grasp to his hair.

(Y/n) only stays silent, his eyes rolling back in a dazed state. It seems to displease the other, earning him another hit to the gut, his head being thrown back before he’s spat on.

“Filthy rat.” He hisses out, turning to a small table of many surgical tools. The man holds up a pair of heavy duty scissors, a sinister smile on his face as he tauntingly tilts his head. He holds the scissors up to (y/n)’s hand, catching over two fingers. “You won’t be needing these anymore, now will you?”

There’s no time to reply, the blades slicing down to meet, clean through his fingers as he shouts in pain. He bites down on his bottom lip, holding back any noises as he stares at the stumps of fingers in pure horror.

“Are you going to speak now? Or should I take more?” He snarls, dipping the man’s hand into a glass of alcohol. A process he had done with every new wound. It earns a meek and choked whimper from the other, but he continues to stay mute.

He’s almost grown fond of the way his blood circulates the golden hue of whiskey. A cruel reminder that he was still alive and bleeding for the time being.

How long until they grew tired and killed him..? How long until Simon found him?

════════════════

Within the eighth month, Simon grew back into old habits. Requesting that he leave on a solo mission. And Price agreed. He gifted the lieutenant with a simple task for starting. A quick in and out of gathering intel.

He took the task with hopes. Praying that an overload of work would help him forget. Help him bury the past away and prevent these hauntings.

And so, he prepared to leave within the next few days..

════════════════

(Y/n)’s head lolls of onto his shoulder, expression glum and bloodied as he looks to his captor with amusement. His silence taunting, and he simply stares. It clearly angers the man, earning him another bone cracking hit.

It’s not a long break, having his hair roughly pulled at, head being forced back into place. Dazed eyes meet fierce ones. His captor scowling, a ghastly expression.

“Such a fuckin’ tough guy, ey?” He spits, grabbing some sort of pliers. A sadistic look crossing his eyes as he brings the tool towards his face. “See how fucking tough you are when I break you piece by piece.”

The pliers make contact with his eye, a discomforting touch at first, though slowly growing into a searing pain. He screams and thrashes in an instinctive panic. The tool works with ease, wiggling about within his socket, loosening his eye before pulling it right from its place within his skull.

(Y/n) is a sobbing, panting mess. His face far more blood soaked, and lack of eye nothing but a pulsating pain. He’s not sure how much more he could handle.

Yet desperately, despite his pains, he silently prays. Prays for his teams rescue. He knows they’re coming. They have to be! But yet, he can only hope.

════════════════

The warehouse is of easy access. A likeable cause that word of his presence got around, leaving for the group of terrorist to leave in a hurry.

It made the task easy. All he had to do now was seek out the documents he was sent for. But.. he stops in place, tensing where he stands. An eerie, yet familiar sound, calling out to taunt him.

Faint, broken sobs echo throughout the silent building. The sounds playing from beneath the floor. Beneath Simon’s feet.

════════════════

He’s far too gone. Sitting in a haze of pain and delusion. He prays over and over again. Begging for an escape, so be it death.

And when footsteps echo from above his abused body, he desperately sobs in hopes his saviour would hear him. His state of delusional thoughts leading him to believe it was an angel.. one here to take away his suffering.

He’d been alone in this room for near a day now, having been left behind as the group fled in panic. And no matter if this sudden appearance was good or bad, he planned to be found.

════════════════

Ghost is quick to act, searching out for the specific hatch. And he’s thankful it’s rather obvious. A small door hidden beneath a carpet, leading down to a door, seemingly a basement.

As he reveals the door, the cries grow louder. His body moving on its own as he rushes forward, hastily kicking down the door.

The the smell alone is awful, having him gag and grimace. But the sight.. his heart drops down, and his throat tightens into a panic.

Within the middle of the room, tied to a chair, his assumed K.I.A lover sits; beaten and broken, sobbing pathetically as his head hangs low.

“(Y/n)..” His words a hoarse cry, immediately rushing to free the man. He’s quick yet cautious, calling in for immediate pickup, alongside medical aid.

“Shh, it’s okay now luv.. gonna get you cleaned up.. fix you up, yeah?” He mumbles and soothes, rocking the wounded man within his arms. Though his words act as more a promise to himself than to the boy. “Don’t leave me.. please don’t go..”

He’s a mess himself, panicked and cautious as he holds the boy like he was broken glass. “Oh dove.. what have they done to you?” Simon whispers, noting his injuries as he rushes outside to try and get to the evac point. “Just stay with me.. stay awake luv.”

“Come on, just a little bit more..” he desperately pleas, practically stumbling along with how eager he is to rescue the boy.

And he does it, he gets to the aircraft, passing off his near dead lover to the many doctors. They work quick to hook him up to many machines, and the plane takes off..

It’s a blur of panic and desperation to keep him alive. Something Ghost himself isn’t sure of, considering his state of being. The heart monitors constantly changing.. too low, too high, normal, and repeat..

His body lies limp on a stretcher. And with a closer look at the damages done, Simon can only think..

He should have just apologized. Told (y/n) he loved him, that he was okay with the man joining the field… fuck..

He should have just been a better lover.

════════════════

© Copyright @jimmy-j-james, 2023

All rights reserved

do not copy/paste, claim as your own, post on different sites, or translate without prior consent from me

[warblogs17282]

Following Mastermind, there's been a lot of talk regarding Stolas and suicidal ideation/Stolas being passively suicidal, and Stolas' low self-worth, and I also want to discuss this subject, but I want to approach it in an unique way, by using a suicidal ideation risk assessment PDF and see what we can gather from it. Aka, enjoy my messy thoughts about this subject.

Link to PDF here:

Analyzing Stolas through a Suicidal Ideation Risk Assessment sheet:

1: Identify Risk Factors

Factors that may increase the risk of suicide:

Trauma: Current and past physical, sexual, or emotional abuse and/or trauma.

I can think of two examples of trauma that Stolas has, with the first being because of all the physical and emotional abuse that Stolas has suffered from for years upon years at Stella's hand, which is proven by Stolas saying 'your constant insults and cruelty.', basically meaning that Stella was physically and emotionally abusive towards towards during the arranged marriage.

And for sexual abuse and trauma, we have the fact that Stolas is a rape victim, once again, at Stella's hand, because this scene shows us that Stolas was very clearly dissociating during when they were having sex, and people who are dissociating cannot give actual consent, so it's a clear cut case of Stolas being raped by Stella.

Triggering Events: Factors, stressors, or interpersonal triggers, especially those leading to humiliation, shame, despair, or loss.

We can easily pinpoint one trigger that Stolas has, and that's when people around him start to show anger, including other things like showing said anger off physically, among other things like when the other person starts to shout and such.

There's plenty of examples I could show to prove this point, but I think the most obvious example I can give here is this moment in s2 e6, where you can clearly see Stolas hugging himself, because it's clearly something that stresses Stolas out and scares him, which is clear by just looking at him during this scene.

As for another triggering event I can think of, it's probably when Stella threw those parties, and I mainly say this because as seen in s2 e1, Stella uses these parties as a thinly veiled excuse to shit-talk Stolas, which would naturally lead to a bit of humiliation and shame for Stolas.

To be honest, it's probably just Stella shit-talking Stolas in general that's the trigger, but at the same time the parties were used as a thinly veiled excuse to openly shit-talk Stolas to her friends so.

Ideation: Presence, duration, and severity of thinking about death or ending life. These could be current or from the past.

We don't have enough information to make a full explanation of this part so far, but there is a few bits of information we can use to answer this part, that being the fact that the song in s1 e2, 'You Will Be Okay.' reeks of suicidal ideation, it also has lines in it like "When I'm gone, you'll be okay…", so already there's clear signs of Stolas thinking about his own death here.

While I will give Stolas the benefit of doubt here considering that he had no time he think anything of this plan through, and the consequences that would happen if Blitz was executed, it still is really telling about how passively suicidal Stolas is, and how little self-worth he has as well, considering that his first idea was to let himself be executed in Blitz's place, also potentially speaking to Stolas' suicidal ideation as well.

I suppose you could also mention the time in the bathtub where Stolas attempts what I assume is drowning himself, so that could also speak to Stolas' suicidal ideation as well.

Medical Health: Current and past medical health concerns or diagnosis, especially a new diagnosis or worsening symptoms.

The only thing I can think of here is in s2 e4, where Striker managed to badly hurt Stolas, and even to this day Stolas still has a lingering scar from the attack, plus he wore a bandage over that wound for quite a while as well.

Mental Health: Current and past mental health concerns or diagnosis, especially with recent discharge from mental health treatment or hospitalization.

For diagnosis, while not confirmed as canon, it's quite a popular theory that Stolas has C-PSTD and Autism. For concerns, I suppose you can list the fact that Stolas appears to be an alcoholic/frequent problem drinker, and the likely overdose (seen in s2 e1, takes three pills instead of two) on Stolas' happy pills as well.

Chemical Health: Current and past substance use disorders, especially with recent discharge from substance use disorder treatment or substance-related hospitalization.

Again, Stolas appears to be an alcoholic/frequent problem drinker, and in s2 e1, appears to abusing the happy pills by taking more than what appears to be the recommended amount/dosage Stolas should actually take.

Substance Use: Any significant change in pattern of use, or current/past use.

Following the trial's conclusion in Mastermind, it's quite likely that Stolas is going to be cut off on the happy pills and alcohol, marking a significant change in the pattern of use.

Although you could make the argument that Stolas stopped taking the happy pills since this scene in s2 e8, but we don't know the answer to that question either way.

Past Suicidal Behavior: Past suicidal thoughts, attempts, failed attempts, or a family history of suicide.

While I have established that Stolas has thought about death before and also likely has suicidal ideation, I cannot prove said suicidal thoughts, although it is likely that he has had them in the past. Suicide attempts and a family history of suicide appear to not have happened at all however.

Self-Injurious Behavior: Current or past injury to self.

Does not appear to apply to Stolas at all.

Trapped: Feeling of inability to escape current situation. Examples could include domestic violence, financial debt, health condition that feels inescapable, etc.

While I cannot entirely be sure about the current situation, although it is likely that Stolas might feel trapped about it in some ways, but in the past this definitely applied to Stolas. Mainly, the arranged marriage, because as I've talked about before, Paimon and by extension, the Goetia family, basically placed a metaphorical gunpoint onto Stolas to have Octavia, and likely to an unknown age of Octavia's life as well.

Especially because of the domestic violence and abuse Stella dished out to Stolas constantly as well, making him feel even more trapped in that arranged marriage for years upon years.

Purposelessness: Presence, duration and severity of feelings of no reason for living or no sense of purpose.

I'd wager that this applies to Stolas at least somewhat, considering how it's already clear that Stolas has very little self-worth combined with the fact that Stolas appears to have a decent amount of suicidal ideation as well, although we don't know the specifics of it at this time, especially after the trial considering that Stolas basically got told he won't be able to see his daughter for the next 100 years by Satan.

There is also his relationship with Blitz to consider as well, but as of right now we don't have enough information to make a fully accurate read on the presence, duration and severity of these feelings.

Hopelessness: Presence, duration, and severity of hopeless feelings.

Again, we don't know the entire specifics of this, but considering the outcome of the trial and the fact that I've mentioned about Stolas being stuck in the arranged marriage for years upon years, I'd reckon that Stolas' feelings of hopelessness are quite high right now.

Withdrawal: Removal from friends, family, and society, isolation, or living alone.

Stolas has always been quite alone, not really having any friends (apart from Blitz, I suppose), family (with the exception of Octavia, but even then she's with Stella on the weekends so) around him most of the time, choosing to generally stay out of society as well, living alone inside of his palace.

Although considering how Mastermind ended, this does look like it's gonna get better, considering that he's living with both Blitz and Loona now.

Anger: Rage, uncontrolled anger, or seeking revenge.

I wouldn't say this applies to Stolas much/at all.

Recklessness: Engaging in risky behavior, seemingly without thinking.

You could make the argument that the whole grimoire arrangement and Stolas' plan to be executed in Blitz's place could fall under recklessness here, although I have talked about the latter a bit in this post as well, so yea.

Mood: Any significant change from baseline, especially when demonstrating increased anxiety, agitation, lack of self-control, or impulsivity.

There are quite a few things you could point to here, especially for the impulsivity side. A few examples could be the whole 'that was the sound of a fucking divorce' line in s2 e1 (although I am happy and glad that Stolas did that, since it was the start of getting out of the abusive arranged marriage, I still feel like it could apply to Stolas being a bit impulsive.), the whole phone argument Stolas had in s2 e2 and Stolas being extremely anxious waiting for Blitz to show up in s2 e8, to give a few examples.

2: Identify Protective Factors

Protective factors buffer individuals from suicidal thoughts and behavior. Protective factors have not been studied as much as risk factors. The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Division of Violence Prevention cites the following protective factors:

Effective clinical care for mental, medical, and chemical health.

For medical, this would apply as following Striker's near assassination on Stolas in s2 e4, Stolas did appear to get effective treatment for his injuries. Although for mental and chemical the care definitely wasn't effective as all they appeared to do was give Stolas a prescription for happy pills and nothing else, and well, who knows how long Stolas has been off the happy pills for tbh.

Access to a variety of interventions and support, at the least restrictive environment.

The only real support I can actually think of right now that Stolas has is the support of Blitz, Loona and likely Moxxie and Millie as well.

Connectedness to other people such as family, neighbors, community, and even culture.

Neighbors, community and culture are definitely a no-go considering Stolas is a banished prince, and well, almost everyone seems to have it out for Stolas right now, as in they really hate Stolas with a passion following the trial. So again, the only connectedness I can think of that Stolas has is with Blitz, Loona and probably Moxxie and Millie at some point in the near future as well.

Support from ongoing medical, mental and chemical health care relationships.

The only ongoing relationship with health care that Stolas had was in relation to his happy pills prescription, but following the trial I think it's safe to assume that this relationship Stolas had with health care is also gone as well, leaving him with no health care relationships at all at the moment.

Skills in problem solving, conflict resolution, coping, and healing.

This one is kind of a mixed bag, while there have been quite a few times that Stolas has shown problem solving and conflict resolution skills throughout the show, they're definitely nowhere near fully developed, especially when we get to the coping part, because we all know Stolas' unhealthy coping mechanism by now, and that's problem drinking. Although to be fair, Stolas likely won't have easy access to any alcohol now, so it'll be interesting to see how Stolas' coping mechanisms go from this point on.

Cultural and religious beliefs that discourage suicide and support instincts for self-preservation.

I'm pretty confident in saying that this doesn't apply to Stolas at all.

The rest of the PDF doesn't apply to Stolas at all, so let's skip to the table.

Multiple risks factors, few protective factors, and what could be thoughts of death with no plan, intent (the Mastermind thing was a spur of the moment thing that is well and truly over now, so I'm not including that bit here), although behavior is likely on the table considering the fact that Stolas just threw himself head first into the water in the bathtub, and the whole 'You Will Be Okay' song, but other than that I don't really have anything concrete for behavior.

So in conclusion, I'd put Stolas in low tbh.

While I don't think Stolas is at risk of making an actual suicide attempt, I do believe because of the risk factors and general lack of protective factors that Stolas has, that it shows that Stolas does likely have high levels of suicidal ideation and other things like thoughts of death.

[milkyplier]

Ok I’m HERE pls elaborate on how Legend doesn’t push people away/want to be seen as strong. I will listen to All The Thoughts

HECK YEHA IM SO EXCITED OKAY LETS GO

And hold on tight, it’s long XD

I’ll go ahead and dump you right into it. Let’s look at his character traits, in Jojo’s original meet-the-characters sheet.

I want to focus on these two:

- Very mature for his age, but still young at heart

- Seems emotionally unaffected by his travels, however he keeps Koholint his dark secret

Long story short Legend doesn’t want to be seen as strong because he already is strong.

The idea that Legend pushes people away comes from the fear of losing those people. I think that Legend would have learned that loss is just a thing that happens. He can’t change that, he can’t stop it. And more importantly, he would have learned that not letting people inside in an effort to get hurt just wasn’t worth it. Ultimately, he would rather have friends and lose them one day than have no friends and spend his whole life (even more) alone and miserable.

Throughout the comic, we don’t even see Legend being any more or less receptive to the group’s relationship than anyone else. He hasn’t even been more secretive! It just feels like it because he has more things to stay quiet about. The reality is: Legend just knows when he does and doesn’t want to open his mouth and start spewing his personal information. He isn’t one to just spew words, I think that he considers every word that comes out of his mouth and as a result, just has no interest in sharing things about himself that don’t need sharing. Look here in the comic Scars:

Legend, Warriors, Hyrule, and Wild all share scars. Legend is the only one who doesn’t reveal the origin of his scar, by choice. Even Wild says “I don’t remember much,” which would seem to indicate that if he might have shared some information if he knew any. Legend remembers completely, and simply doesn’t say anything.

What does this tell us? Legend just has no interest in sharing where he got it. He has no problem remembering, and no issues with others’ curiosity—if he did, he wouldn’t have shown them the scar at all to avoid being harshly reminded and asked the inevitable “where did you get it?”

Long story short: Legend just has boundaries. And he’s very good at keeping them.

Legend doesn’t want to be seen as strong:

I just don’t think he’s that immature. I don’t think he is that anxious about his appearance. Yeah, I know, “but what about bunny Legend? He was worried about how the others would laugh at him because a bunny is weak and defenseless!”

Correct, but remember Legend says:

“I am so defenseless it’s pathetic. I’m a warrior, this is shameful.”

He is fully aware of how strong he is. And notice, he only talks about his strength in terms of weapons—he has absolutely no doubts about his emotional strength.

(Also, quick note: I like how Jojo uses the mirror to show us Legend’s face in this panel. She offers us a chance to sober up, to see exactly how this rabbit form has affected Legend and how he feels about it, and to take him seriously. She’s so clever!)

Also, “seems unaffected by his adventures, but keeps koholint his dark secret.” In other words, Koholint appears to be the only one his adventures he could not quite recover from. It was the only one that he could not just glean lessons from and then heal—it’s taking longer. But he’s clearly handling it well, and notice he doesn’t fight Twilight digging up the wound. He also doesn’t spill his whole secret willy-nilly.

He has no issues with being Hylian, with others seeing that he is only Hylian and he has emotions. He just also demonstrates incredible emotional maturity, in that he isn’t a blabber mouth.

To summarize: legend doesn’t push anyone away, he just conducts himself in a way we aren’t familiar with. He doesn’t spill his secrets because he doesn’t need to. And when he does, I’d bet my blog he’ll do it in a solid and intelligent way, not in a rush of tears and feelings because he’s been sick for seven days and he’s emotionally weakened. Legend also doesn’t feel a need to seem stronger than he is, because he knows his already incredible strength, and he also knows his weaknesses.

* * *

Okay, I think this is everything I’ve got right now XD sorry this took so long, it took my brain forever to get itself into shape. I hope this was at least semi-understandable hahaha

Thank you for reading!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Do you think Katara could have loved Zuko before he got his scar? Let me explain: do you see the episode in season 1 where we discover Aang and Zuko's past?We have a Zuko we hadn't seen before: he wanted to save the crew, he showed himself as a hero, brave and compassionate. We know that Katara is attracted to people like that. Who seeks to help people (even if it was the Fire Nation), it was still a crew that was going to die for a vain sacrifice.

Zuko stood up to the leaders, just as Katara stood up to Pakku to defend the other women of the tribe; it's a small parallel that could have connected them. In that moment, I could say that maybe if Katara had met Zuko at that time, she might have been attracted to his devotion and his need to protect others.

Because I dug into the series to find out when Katara could have fallen in love with Zuko, and ultimately, I don't find any attraction between them. Because after Zuko's father disfigured his face, it created a trauma in him and changed him: not that the brave and compassionate Zuko no longer exists, but the trauma matrixed him, made him change... That's when I see the attraction between Katara and Zuko more clearly.

Zuko, after his banishment, became very angry, rarely smiled, withdrawn, and very emotional, which sometimes hurt those close to him. (emo, si je peux dire). But over the seasons, he gradually changes.

Even after he joined the gaang, he is still somewhat the same person, but with more sensitivity and more open to others.

Now, tell me how, in all that I just mentioned, Katara would have an attraction to Zuko with all the intrigues that have happened, Ba Sing Se, the North and South (1 s) and so on...

Maybe her awkwardness in communicating with others is charming in her personality?

His physique?

His way of being clumsily intentional?

But guess who is the person who was attracted to Zuko with the three points I just mentioned: Jin

I find that Zutara fans try too hard to force a connection so that Katara can fall in love with Zuko when there isn't one. Or it's because they themselves have a crush on Zuko, which is normal, but they want Katara to fall in love with him because he is the ideal model for a girl. While rejecting Katara's needs and her personality,

1 - Pre-scar Zuko was already raised to be an imperialist that would do things like laugh at a joke about Ba Sing Se being burned to the ground, and yes, objected to HIS soldiers getting killed, but not the literal war and genocide his nation and family had been engaging in for a whole century. Katara isn't gonna be impressed by his compassion towards the people of his nation when he has none for the other nations - including her own.

2 - Pre-scar Zuko was already being negatively affected by being raised by a parent that was emotionally and verbally abusive towards him (and agreed to MURDER him, leading to his mother's disappearance/"death"). He isn't being openly hostile to everyone around him, but he is already a victim, traumatized and coping poorly by trying to "earn" not only his father's love but the basic right to not be his punching bag - by supporting his evil actions. Katara's potential empathy for the unfair situation Zuko was in wouldn't blind her to the fact he is being unfair to others too, just look at how fast she turned against Jet.

3 - Lack of compassion might be a deal-breaker for Katara, but someone not being a cruel bastard is not enough to make her fall in love with someone - if it were, she would have had feelings for half the cast. Compassion is the bare minimum for her not to HATE someone, not for her to LOVE them.

4 - Katara likes effortlessly cool/charming guys, that's Jet (literally) sweeps her off her feet, and why she's all over Aang when he's being the cool guy in cave party in "The Headband" but is FURIOUS at his awkwardness and cluelessness in "Cave Of Two Lovers." She would NOT appreciate Zuko's dorkiness and he would not appriciate her getting mad at him for it.

5 - Katara met the new and improved Zuko, who, despite his flaws, was kind, regretful, compassionate and willing to do what was right and, more importantly, keep his own bad behaviors in check, which Katara does appreciate. Yet not only did she still not fall in love with him, she treated him the same way she treats Sokka, her brother.

6 - While Jin was certainly charmed by Zuko being hot, as well as pure of heart and dumb of ass, we cannot really use her as basis for comparisson to LOVE. She didn't even know his real name, let alone understand who he is a person. MAI loved him. When he was an innocent, sweet child. When he was a moody, kind of asshole teen. When he was an honorable, brave, wise young man. Mai is the one who loves every version of Zuko, not Jin, and surely not Katara.