#so I have less chaos up in there
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Ugh I hate the process of moving, I hate looking for a place and packing and everything. I really really just want to be moved and settled and not be in transition lmao.
#prince text#I’m dying bc stupid favor gk has two figures for preorder that i really wanna get lmao#and goodsmile#but favorgk - i have not found a place yet where ppl can buy those studio figures second hand#and i kind of worry about them being way more expensive second hand#not that i wouldn’t do it lol i am a bjd collector for god’s sakes i know how to carefully parse my money#but being on the preorder is ALWAYS cheaper#its just not fucking realistic until we are moved and I can get an idea of what my finances are gonna be like#which is FINE LMAO#I’m just overwhelmed with moving and tension and getting on proper meds hopefully tomorrow#and getting a new doctor#and now I am packing all my figures#and my autism brain is starting to freak out more bc more than anything if my room is not in order#then my brain is not in order#my room is like pulling everything out of my brain and making it physical#so I have less chaos up in there#and now it’s all chaos#I definitely whined about this the last time I moved#but honestly this move is significantly less stressful than that one for a thousand reasons#so I just need to keep that in mine#all of this to say I’m whining about figures bc they’re one of my escapisms#and it’s easier to think about wishlist figures than it is to constantly think about everything that’s freaking me out#prince moves 2024
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My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!
Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#svsss#tgcf#wei wuxian#shen qingqiu#xie lian#better drawn mdzs#(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery)#Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done!#Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there.#The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS!#*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises.#What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible!#Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic.#Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad.#Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up!#Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*)#I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.
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I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#idk man- i just see a lot of “Lan Wangji has always been protecting Wei Wuxian” posts and its like...#I mean... Lan Wangji has always certainly been trying to protect Wei Wuxian#it took him a long time to figure how to successfully do that though#rereading the books rn and noticing theres a lot of instances that could be read as lwj being frustrated over his inability to protect wwx#like he seemed ready to cry when wwx went missing for a while and then came back with the cursed leg#lwj has always been great at protecting wwx from physical threats (ex: waterborn abyss) but had no idea how to protect him from himself#meanwhile wwx has always been instictually good at saving lwj from both#like I'm 100% lwj would've become like Jiang Cheng if wwx hadn't snapped him out of the blindly following authority thing#and also like... 15 y/o lwj wasnt happy with his life. he was lonely and stressed and literally signing up to be flogged whenever he goofed#wwx is who allowed lwj to grow up by showing him what it was like to actually be a kid (shown in story whenever lwj gets drunk)#he led lwj to having a more flexible mindset. and it both let lwj relax and set lwj up to be a better parent#looking into lwj's dynamic with the juniors- he lets them break a fuck ton of the petty rules and encourages them to question authority#he also teaches them to not be married to any one meathod of problem solving#wwx is also able to save lwj from his own stubbornness#ex: carrying lwj when he broke his leg. getting lwj to cough up bad blood. getting lwj to keep the rabbits#wwx also tends to give lwj the words he has trouble saying himself. helps him communicate#wwx also protects lwj in fights a lot but thats narratively less important#except the various times wwx puts himself in danger to help lwj. those times are what made it so lwj could never move on from wwx#like with the cave incident#or when wwx helped surpress the arm instead of using the chaos to escape cloud recesses#tldr i guess: i think this fandom tends to treat lwj being the best like its natural to him when really wwx accidentaly rewired his brain#I'm looking directly at fanfic writers who act like the Lans would've treated wwx better than the Jiangs#lwj had to do so much work and self reflection post meeting wwx to be the way he is. he is not the sole product of the Lan teachings
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aptx!kaito au in which Shinichi doesn't know aptx exists and feels insane that his leading theory is "a six year old is the mastermind behind Kaitou Kid"
#no I don't know how this would logically work I just thought it'd be funny#and yes this would fuck up countless meetings and character arcs but consider: the CHAOS#this au is a gift to me from me bc ch1120 is making me pop a vein and I needed a pick-me-up <3#Shinichi humbling arc but it's because he keeps getting outsmarted by (what he thinks is) a literal 6 yo#(given that he never ran into the org and doesn't know shrinking is possible plus Kaito is much better at acting like a normal child)#and KID gets to bully Shinichi. as a treat#pls don't look at the drawing too closely ajdhhdhd tis just a dood in this cheap little notebook I got as a handout#somehow I find it easier to draw in places other than my sketchbook... less pressure to do it well and fill up all the blank space I guess#kuroba kaito#kaitou kid#kid the phantom thief#kudou shinichi#jimmy kudo#does anyone even call him that anymore it's so cursed. JIMMY#dcmk#detective conan#magic kaito#detco#idk what to call this au...#kinda want it to have something to do w the 'the truly impossible' sherlock quote hmmm#redefining the improbable AU#maybe?#shrunken!kaito#aptx!kaito
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#21 - Wall
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☕ Buy me coffee ☕
#really just want to see agni (and grace) being cool 😳 if that's not obvious enough#忠 on hatz's back means loyal#the sky is filled with shinsu loops (inspired by water dragon heavy storm technique but less destructive in exchange for wider range)#also if you haven't connected the dots yet. grace and jinsung are having a spar somewhere. and Agni is keeping it inside a massive barrier#he set up the barrier with shinsu devices ofc. not purely Agni's power. we can see him doing some typing there since he controls it#Also I forget if i have it written on future chapter or discarded it on this update script. but just in case i don't. here's an explanation#the barrier was meant to keep the chaos inside to stay inside. but because the shinsu on lower floors aren't as concentrated as upper floor#and shinsu inside the barrier was condensed with Grace's power. If the barrier was completely blocked off it'd be easy to suffocate inside#so they need the outside shinsu to be able to cross inside or Agni wouldn't be able to stay inside. Thus I imagine it like a one way valve#it's easy to cross from the outside but hard to get out without deactivating the barrier. and that was why Hatz was trapped#Laure on the prev chpt must've noticed that the flow of shinsu got siphoned somewhere and thus the 'something is wrong' feeling#but no one else notice bc it'd prob feel like a passing breeze. considering with how big a floor is#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin comic#my comic#my art#khun#koon#khun a.a#khun aguero agnis#hatz#rak wraithraiser#rak
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Me to Atom when he sat beside the trash can instead of getting in it
#my love mix up th#my love mix up thailand#this must be so confusing for people that didn't see the original#listen i love atom but i need the chaos energy of aoki back in my life#SPOILERS AHEAD IN THE TAGS FOR THE JAPANESE VERSION IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY WATCHED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK#he does not need to stay in the trash#but saying he might as well get in the trash has less of an impact than actually physically crawling into the trash#we need mudmee's anger to match hashimoto's but it won't have the proper justification if atom is just...sad by the trash#aoki threw himself in the trash then told her he was going to the mountains and she had no idea what was going on#she only knew that her friend was in such distress that he physically made himself trash#and mudmee knows atom is sad and she doesn't want him to be but it is not the same#oh how i was so hoping they would properly handle this one moment but alas#they were close but they took out too much of the chaos. too much is gone#it's still cute and wholesome and wonderful#but atom is now a disaster bi and that's kind of the best part of aoki's whole character#and part of why ida fell in love in the first place
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So spoilers for Black Butler: Book of the Atlantic, but I feel like we don’t talk about Lizzie genuinely trying to murder a whole ass person enough.
Like, yeah, she’s a girl boss, love her, her whole scene with the swords was one of the best character redeems I’ve ever seen. But immediately after that she tries to stab Grelle in the NECK and NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT IT-
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#book of the atlantic#Lizzie#elizabeth midford#black butler grell#grelle sutcliff#is it grell or Grelle?#later manga chapters use Grelle so I’m using that#lizzie is no less of a Girlboss for trying to off Grelle#honestly it just ups the Girlboss factor#yes Grelle is my favorite character but Lizzie stabbing her in the neck wouod be justified#also Sebastian being the only thing stopping Lizzie will never not be funny to me#could you imagine the chaos if Lizzie had gotten that stab in?#the rest of the movie would be trying to keep Grelle from murdering Lizzie#or at least the next ten minutes of the movie#why does no one talk about this#yes I know it wouldn’t have worked but Lizzie did not know that#Sebastian KNEW all hell would break loose if that stab hit
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can't believe this hasn't been said before but unhinged!scarlett and unhinged!dave would be an iconic duo. shame pi didn't get a second season bc these two in an alliance would basically succeed in destroying the island, they'd wipe everyone out
the fact that they're both versions of the nerd character so they're already smart in their own ways, the fact that they have absolutely zero fucks to give anymore, their individual darker sides have come out (whether it was hidden consciously (scarlett) or unconsciously (dave)), and they've each attempted to kill/seriously injure one or more contestant(s) (and mess up the island in the process) just to reach their end goal. imagine if these two found a common goal somehow, literally nothing could get in their paths (except possibly each other)
#these two in an alliance that ends with one or both of them turning on the other would be wild#tbh i know ppl talk abt wishing roti getting a second season but the potential in a second season for pi?? there is so much!!#literally half the dynamics have changed and so have personalities for most of the characters in pi#max and scarlett's dynamic change and their shifts in characters#topher could easily shift from chris lover to chris hater. two extremes!!#he just wants to get chris fired or in pain or smth lmao#dave becoming more competitive and less romantic he turns more heartless (and a bit more reserved and unpredictable)#his heart is there its just v shrouded. and repressed memories dave of the finale!!#he knows smth big happened but the memories of exact details are fuzzy (when that mental curtain is ripped away its gonna be chaos)#amy and sammy's change in dynamics. sammy standing up for herself!!#i wanna say sky would join a second season to get a chance at the money (im a shawn winner truther)#but idk if after all that she'll want to lmao#but skave dynamic total shift if sky comes back!!!#dave doing anything to get her eliminated sky slowly starting to retaliate#it'd be interesting to explore ella and sugar's characters if they've changed or not#evil scarlett who doesnt hide it!!#jashawn ain’t gonna join i think lmao they deserve a nice break plus they split the million so#rodney who is still a romantic but starts to understand the truth of boundaries and the rose colored glasses start to break#(he gets a sexuality revelation when he crushes on one of the guys)#just imagine how wack things would have gone with a second season#the different interactions and alliances and friendships and enemies#and the interactions/dynamics in the first season def would have changed in a second one#this is making me remember the whole layout for a second pi season younger me wrote with new and old contestants#anyway! second season pi was so deserved it would have been wack#noahtally-famous#total drama#td dave#td scarlett#tdpi
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did some minor customization to one of my neutral chao figures so cream could have cheese with her if anyone cares
#sorry the lighting in this picture is not very good its the middle of the night so i cant just use my window for good lighting#anyway. to be honest with how small cream is compared to the average sonic figure despite being the same price as all the others#they should have had her come with cheese as her accessory to make up for it#but then again a chao costs the same amount as mini figures of other characters so they would probably never consider that#also im once again trying to rearrange my sonic shelf. things are looking slightly less chaotic but im still not satisfied#so will probably mess with it some more#my main issue i have is i can never decide How exactly i want to arrange things#like do i wanna arrange them based on what kind of item it is. what character it is. the specific media its based on.#idk . i have so much stuff that i never know how to arrange it all#little guy images
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Okay but my favorite GIR moments are ALWAYS the ones that imply he's just aware enough of what's going on to know that the thing he's doing will fuck up Zim's day, and he still does it anyway, possibly specifically for that purpose.
#invader zim#gir#iz posting#natterings#most times its not even malicious#or not like SPECIFICALLY malicious beyond gir being a gremlin who enjoys chaos in general#i think a lot of the time he just wants to secure zims attention and making him mad is the easiest way to do it#(+ i mean zim kind of models this strategy all the time so can he really be surprised girs learned it—)#or sometimes the terrible thing will eventually end up leading into accomplishing something useful#and its easy to say this is just fools luck and totally inadvertent on girs part#but there are rare moments that suggest he mightve a little bit done the thing on purpose and im obsessed with that#that one comics issue where he impersonates dib torments zim for days on end and then wheedles zim into praising him for it#lives rent free in my mind#BUT ANYWAY I ALSO THINK THAT MAYBE SOMETIMES IT COULD BE A LITTLE MALICIOUS#given that gir in his natural state isnt really CAPABLE of resentment or anger or even dislike#and the one time he was able to feel those things he turned on zim in less than 24 hrs#in a way that was clearly very personally motivated (note to self write meta about gir goes crazy and stuff i have so much shit to say)#which suggests to me those emotions probably are there festering on some inaccessible level and yknow#imo a little healthy sadism is a GREAT outlet for that#zim absolutely deserves it
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hey after itatori move in together where does deidara live. alone? with some other poor sap? with them???
itachi wants a cat but tori doesn't. so deidara lives with itachi's five cats
#im kidding he either happily lives alone or has successfully seduced sasori#bc akatsuki is functionally similar but politically very different#so villages can send their own ninja to work as representatives and the idea is to keep any individual from getting out of line#but functionally. it's chaos because no one running it is normal#like kumo makes a move on invading a ninja-less territory and akatsuki goes NO!!!! and then some asshole ninja show up#and i think that's probably a better fit for the type of shit deidara likes doing#deidara: IM A FREE SPIRIT BABY#sasori: we spent nine hours yesterday listening to konan try and mediate a trade negotiation#deidara: FREE! SPIRIT!!!!!#reborn au#it's okay itatori have a guest room
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whatever this setting is that im creating has a tag now (chaos energy au, im not feeling creative and it just needs Any Tag). some more thoughts about chaos energy and the fellas using it:
chaos energy is inherently destructive, and there's a reason its primary uses lie in powering machinery; organic bodies are easily damaged by it when trying to handle large quantities of it at once
chaos emeralds are almost uncomfortably warm to touch, not enough to burn but you won't enjoy handling them bare-handed
echidnas are the only species that naturally resist the effects of chaos energy, and are able to harness it without drawbacks. most of it likely has to do with them evolving in proximity of the emeralds, but there are no clear answers as to why
sol energy is still the baja blast of chaos energy and has similar if not the exact same properties
blaze can withstand both sol and chaos energy with no ill effects due to the presence of iblis in her heart. she's not aware of it, but he cycles the energy out of her system safely and without allowing it to harm her
shadow was hand-crafted to withstand chaos energy as well as possible, giving him the innate ability to chaos control with ease and utilize the energy's full potential with no real side effects
he's not exactly made of chaos energy, but rather has a resistance similar to echidnas that allows him use it freely
a super state inherently burns away at its host. this cannot be prevented through regular means, and the only one who resists this is blaze due to iblis' presence
sonic is not immune to the effects of a super state
he has built up some resistance over the several times he has entered a super state, but this is more akin to a numbness to the destructive effects rather than any true resistance
silver's super state during the fight against solaris nearly destroyed him, partially resulting to his generally unstable existence post-06
a super state's destructive effects can be hastened and amplified through repeated transformations in quick success, prolonged transformations, and the host already being in a weakened state from other causes and effects (i.e. cyber corruption, dark gaia's influence...)
#chaos energy au#yes sonic uses the emeralds irresponsibly and i would make it catch up to him if i could#knuckles could go super with no real problems. blaze and shadow are anomalous#silver would be incinerated if he ever tried it again#the shields in heroes that tails and knux get in the final story were definitely created by sonic#in an effort to protect them from the fucked up nature of a super form#him sharing the super form in 06 was a desperation move when it came to silver in particular#sonic doesn't care if it fucks him up and knows shadow can take it#and likely assumed silver was built different too. he wasn't. is even less so now#and as for frontiers sonic probably could've withstood the corruption mostly fine#if he didn't enter a super state every five minutes#it would've been uncomfortable and unfun but he could have taken it at least for a longer time#but you know. you keep burning yourself away and you do it over and over again and corrupt yourself some more in between#it's not good for you
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this wee fluffy one, who you often find just 👁️👁️ staring into your soul from behind
went and hid in the bedroom while i was practicing my flute tonight lmao roasted
#sotd#god he’s so funny we agree he’s the most delightful being in the house#see seven is always plotting scheming etc in plans that always consist of#‘im gonna fuck _____ up rn’#constantly trying to manipulate us to give him what he wants at any moment right. could be anything#whereas simon is like#playing complex 5d chess. he plots and schemes in ways that are much more complex and less straightforward#truly a surgeon where seven is a bulldozer#but the only thing he’s ever trying to achieve is to have a door opened#seven is like always trying to cause some new chaos#and then simon is like. aha i have a complex plot to request this door be opened#today he motioned very energetically to the dog waiting to be let back in from the backyard. tried to open the glass door for him and all#and when i obliged and let the dog in simon then ran over to the garage door#which he’s been squeaking (because he squeaks. he doesn’t meow) for me to open & i was purposely ignoring#fully like ‘you opened the door for the dog ergo you will now open a door for me’#he’s so goofy and he’s so fluffy and soft and sweet! bit odd that he is also the politest lil mastermind!#but god. he really does just Lurk lmao what a weirdo. i love him so much
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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
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'moogle, how do you write your first drafts?' i write them on evil mode: every current prose draft in the same document at once
#whosebaby talks#i intend to expand on explaining this process at some point; but every time i start going beyond the above it Balloons Out#but it's working great for me so for now you get the cursed version with no context#at some point start dividing them up based on criteria that feel natural to you; so the doc doesn't end up becoming an unmanageable beast#but thus far some degree of mix-and-match multi-story chaos for initially drafting out the shape of a given narrative seems Vital here#the point is to make sure you *always* have something to add to the doc; even when you're not feeling a certain story atm#and to keep exposing yourself to the stories you're drafting#so they're fresh in your head even when you need a break from one#it turns out if you let yourself take breaks from a story as soon as you need to you will likely have to do it much less often#and for much less time#and it makes it much easier to identify when you genuinely hate working on a certain project in its current state; and why#so that you can call it quits on that project entirely; or more likely identify which *parts* of it Do Not Work for You#so you can hit the bricks on that bit and try something Completely Different(tm) by process of elimination#if you feel real ass relief at a certain element being Out of Your Story; or at least not in its current spot#that's a sign that you're doing the right thing for your story and writing process instead of turning it into something you Dread#and having other things around it that you *like* adding to and expanding on; helps with identifying I Hate This Actually#anyway yes working great will continue to report#shitposting#writing tag
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The gaslighting Duke of Vienna
#measure for measure#shakespeare#text post#yeah i just finished#i was familiar w the story long before i actually sat down and read it#it was a major part of a chapter of a literary studies textbook i edited the last two years for gig work#so i had like. known the entire plot and the issues and themes and entire passages#and yet still it was different from what i expected#it feels somewhat... incomplete? like in my head these characters were more finished#than what i actually got from them in the play. somehow#angelo for instance i assumed knew his hypocrisy from the beginning#but to my pleasant surprise. he was less calculated and more spinning out of control#fallible as anyone else he would condemn to die for the same sins.#i found that really interesting that he actually thought he had noble intent. he just couldnt live up to it himself#and that he would also wish to undo isabella like that. horrific just the same but almost more tragic?#i also assumed juliet would've had a bigger part#and duke vincentio. man i still don't really get him on a human level#not my favorite shakespearean mastermind at all#he seems incredibly selfish and hypocritical. not just bc he tries to marry isabella#but he seems... honestly more calculated than angelo#and he's the hero! supposedly!#im not saying that that's a flaw in the play. i find that really interesting#i suppose i just can't see him having any motivations but chaos and vainglory#and those motives just happen to be pointed in the direction of good for our heroine and her brother#but in any other play id see someone like vincentio as the villain. easily#duke vincentio is as conceited and conniving as richard iii
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