#so I gave Taako one

[effervescentmoth]

Taako’s good out here!

details under the cut

i never post art so here take this! click for higher quality! Reblogs appreciated!

This is loosely based on the fanart I saw a while ago (if anyone knows what I’m talking about please link it 😭) of a Taako design that looked like Justin! So I made a Taako that sorta looks like me!

[yardsards]

i originally Hated that they changed taako's costume to ross from friends in the graphic novels

like i get that they'd change it from what it was in the podcast bc that one doesn't make much sense without justin's explanation

but ross from friends??? that's such a painfully boring choice. and like it would be funny in a "taako put zero effort into this and is just wearing clothes he already owned" way but most of those items look nothing like the other clothes he owns and would normally wear

BUT i have come up with a headcanon that makes it Good again:

all of those clothes used to be lup's.

(like, lup would absolutely not wear that whole outfit, but each individual article of clothing looks like something she'd wear. a red sweater, a plain button-up shirt and tie, a leather jacket, bluejeans. i could see her rocking all of those with different outfits.)

taako borrowed/stole them from his sister, and they were with the rest of his clothes when lucretia voidfished him/gave him a new life, and lucretia accidentally gave them to him with the rest of his normal clothes

so taako, seeing that he owned clothes that were not his usual style but fit him perfectly, but could not remember where or why he got them, just assumed "huh, i must have bought these all as a costume at some point"

when she comes back and finds out about this, lup is going to roast his ass MERCILESSLY for not only haven stolen her clothes for a DECADE, but for mistaking them as a ROSS COSPLAY

("well lup, if you didn't want your clothes to be mistaken for a ross costume, you shouldn't own clothes that ross would wear" "you're not supposed to wear them all TOGETHER, taako. besides, clearly you liked them enough to steal them from me for so many years" "it was cold and all my warm clothes were in the laundry. i was gonna return them soon but /someone/ erased my memories")

[in-this-crystal-kingdom]

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SUFFERING GAME GRAPHIC NOVEL

Okay SO. Everyone has some thoughts on this one for sure as I have seen. A lot of people are saying they took a lot from Wonderland and that it's a disappointment as an adaptation but here's the thing: I have viewed the books as separate canon from the podcast since around Crystal Kingdom. I don't necessarily see it as a faithful adaptation but as a cool way to get more people into the story without giving EVERYTHING away in case they decide to listen. However, that being said, I have some things to say. I'm going to start with the negative first because even though I LOVED this book I so have some things I will miss about it (but please understand that I LOVED THE BOOK SM GUYS, I will ofc be adding what I loved after this part)

My Issues/Things I Wish Were Included:

Magnus trying to find his own answers with the voidfish. I was really looking forward to how they would show and represent that!

"I'm afraid no one else will have me" was such a good scene, I really liked the vulnerability Taako showed then because aside from his scene in Petals we haven't seen a whole lot of that from him in the books (again, I veiw the books as separate canon, but it would be nice to see)

CAM! I missed Cam so much he was delightful

No Boss Rush

I don't like that they basically forced Magus to decide if he wanted to lose Julia and never mention Gov. Kallen at all. That was such an impactful moment and they kind of side stepped it unfortunately

Trust or Forsake is missing which is also unfortunate

A lot of what made Wonderland interesting is either spedrun or absent so they kind of took the Wonder out of Wonderland

Taako giving up his beauty is also gone! Which sucks ass! My only true issue with this book that I genuinely was heartbroken over. I understand it can be a hard thing to show, especially when it runs the risk of someone in real life looking at the design and going "ow, that looks like me!'. So like. I get it. I really do. But they cut so much of Podcast!Taako's growth in Book!Taako's character that it was a sore spot for me personally.

If they let Johann live in the next book I will be very upset

SPEAKING OF NEXT BOOK!! Now that I have all my negative out of the way ohohoh boy I'm gonna share the positives I have with it. Given that, again, I view the books as separate story than the podcast, I thought they did a wonderful job overall. Solid 8/10 for me! Here are the things I am still screaming about

Things I adore about this book and will be living rent free in my head forever

TAAKO AND KRAVITZ KISS LIKE 5 PAGES IN AND I SCREAMED CAREY ATE WITH THAT

Merle's kids 😭😭😭

JOHANN IS ACKNOWLEDGED IN THIS ONE RAAAAAAAA I WAS SO WORRIED THEY WERE TRYING TO CUT HIM OUT

I love the redesign of Wonderland looking like a circus instead of a roulette wheel, I liked that a lot

Kravitz calling Taako to tell him to be safe,,, the call getting cut off,,,, pain

I loved the wheel it looked so cool

Edward and Lydia were giving Velvet and Veneer and I am HERE FOR IT

Heart Attack my beloved 🥰

ARMS OUTSTRETCHED!!!!!!!!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAAKO SAW KRAVITZ IN THE TAR??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE TRIED TO SAVE HIM?????? MCELROY FAMILY AND CAREY WHEN I GET YOU-

Seeing the umbra staff (*cough cough* Lup) BEAT THE SHIT out of Edward was lovely, no notes

HOW GRIFFIN DISAPPEARED!!! I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD DO THAT!!!

BLUEJEANS REVEAL

The Umbra Staff jumping into Barry's arms 😭😭😭

Taako having STATIC IN HIS EYES seeing the staff and Barry together CAREY PLEASE

MERLE SEEING JOHN, THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE

L U P SHE IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I CRIED I AM SO GLAD THEY GAVE HER LONG HAIR TOO!!

GOD THE BOOK ENDED WHERE I WANTED IT TO AND THEN SOME ACTUALLY (I thought it would end with the line "Lucretia, what have you done???" BUT MAN I'M NOT MAD IT WENT ON A BIT LATER)

THE IPRE PAINTING. THEM. THEY. ALL OF THEM. I AM DYING. MY CROPS ARE WATERED AS SHIT.

[ink-wells-and-feathers]

unpopular opinion but I really like the adventure zone. the first DND podcast I ever listened to was Taz Balance. I fell in love with it instantly. it was funny and silly and told a good story while being easy to follow for someone like me who didn't know how to play before hand. I learned how to play alongside the players and liked the goofs. it's what got me back into fanfiction writing and part of what gave me the courage to start actually posting them for people to read.

I've always had a hyperfixation on cryptozoology as long as I can remember and so amnesty caught my attention quickly. I love the chaos of it and apparently it's unpopular but I really loved Aubrey too. all of the players were great but apparently it's unpopular to like Aubrey and all Travis's characters in general. and Travis in general but I love Travis, his humor is exactly mine and Aubrey and Magnus are still on par with my favorites. I went as Arlo Thacker and Indrid Cold to the Halloween parties I had this year.

the first character I ever cosplayed was Magnus Burnsides and I got my partner to cosplay Taako. it was the first one and inspired a lot more creativity in me.

I love the graphic novels. I own all of them except for the eleventh hour because I can't afford it yet but I've read all of them they're all really well drawn and the story is amazing as always. all of them and all arcs of every campaign have made me cry easily. they're all that beautiful

finally I really really really liked graduation. I love Fitzroy. everything about crab boy magic man makes me happy. I like Rainer and her wheelchair, as someone who needs a wheelchair (but can't afford one rip american healthcare) it's nice to see and I also like that it's brought up in a jokey way when we first meet her. because it wasn't pity or anything. it was very in character for her. I like that we meet so many people up front because that's what it feels like when you move schools. there's so much new to the point of being overwhelming. I LOVE FIRBY AND HIS NO NAME!!!

I see so much hate towards taz and specifically towards Travis and I just can't understand it. also why expend your energy towards something you don't enjoy. just let people like things.

[anistarrose]

taz balance one-shot recs!

I've been meaning to make this post for a while now, so here we are! The majority of these are from the past three years or so, because I love a fandom classic as much as anyone, but I particularly want to shine a light on some gems from after the peak of traffic in the fandom tags! There are of course also exceptions that are older, though.

Also, April 19th-21st are Just Leave a Comment Fest, so please show these authors some love!! They're all so deserving!

a recipe for home by @journalofimprobablethings: Taako tries to cook for the first time since Glamour Springs. When things go awry, Lucretia is there to lend a hand.

Gen (Taako & Lucretia), 3.5k. Early B.O.B. era hurt/comfort centered around cooking, with a delicious dollop of sentimentality and dramatic irony on top.

Seven Times Magnus Burnsides Gave Someone A Hug + One Time He Received One by @barry-j-blupjeans: Magnus wasn't really any good at— at words. He was more of an action man. Or, y'know, a "I'll take this hit so you don't have to" man. Talking to someone about their feelings was all kinds of weird, so usually he just left the space for someone else to talk. And, well... Magnus wasn't good at words. But there's a few different ways to get his support across.

Mostly gen with some Magnulia, 8.6k. You've all heard of the classic 5 Plus 1, but obviously Magnus deserves a 7 Plus 1! I don't know how to describe it without spoilers other than being full of incredibly sweet, gentle takes on so many fraught or bittersweet moments. Super underrated, do give it a read.

Embrace the Dark by @ceilingfan5: Bookstore coworkers Kravitz and Taako get more than they bargained for when Taako tries to use his powers to fix Kravitz's migraine. But it's okay--it's an excuse for them to spend time together until one of them can nut up and ask the other out.

Taakitz, 8.9k. Modern with Superpowers AU! Super sweet interactions between Kravitz and Taako, paired with lots of fun background worldbuilding. And, of course, a very special grilled cheese sandwich.

Break This Heavy Chain by Punka_Writes: In the immediate aftermath of Story and Song, Barry Bluejeans could really use a hug.

Blupjeans and misc. platonic interactions, 2.3k. The absolute epitome of comfort food in written form, with excellent Barry characterization (and of course, he does get that hug)!

birds of a feather steal sweaters together by @holdmecloser-gandydancer: When you're a big, burly guy it seems that your clothes just become free reign for all your friends. Normally Magnus is a reasonable guy, but everyone has their limits.

Gen (IPRE crew), 1.9k. Starblaster era fluff! Everyone is written absolutely delightfully, and every time I read it I snort out loud at least twice.

Security by @ceilingfan5: Barry has finally made it--his incredible scientific discovery has landed him a huge fortune...and a lot of problems. The only good thing that's come of it, honestly, has been his bodyguard, Lup. (And the science. That's good also.) He's just gotta stay normal about how nice it is to have someone like Lup around, and also not perish by way of press circuit, and everything will be fine.

Blupjeans, 6k. Modern with magic AU from Barry's POV, featuring equal parts anxiety and pining. Also, it's straight-up extremely funny.

Lonesome Dreams by @jerreeeeeee: Taako wakes up one morning from a nightmare, fast fading. There was a guy in glasses, and they were… somewhere high up? Something terrible happened, but he doesn’t remember. He wakes up in a wagon he’s never seen before, but it has his name on it. There’s tons of food inside, more than he’d be able to afford. And he’s alone. Thinking back to the last thing he remembers is difficult. College? No, he’d graduated. Top of his class, obviously, he remembers that. But what- what happened after? Where is Lup?

Gen (Taako & Lup), 10.2k. Everything starts out the same, except Taako remembers Lup, even if not how she went missing, and it's incredibly underrated and full of phenomenal characterization. I won't spoil how things shake out, but it's a great emotional ride and I genuinely reread it all the time.

it's my party and I'll mope if I want to by @holdmecloser-gandydancer: Taako's birthday is just another Thursday. A detective and an old friend have a different idea.

Gen (Taako & Lucretia & Angus), 2.1k. Short and so sweet! Fics about voidfished!Taako's birthday never get old, and this is one of my absolute favorites. Nailing the angst-to-wholesome ratio.

Tedious Familiarity by @barry-j-blupjeans: Déjà vu. Noun. A feeling of having already experienced the present situation. A tedious familiarity. Barry Bluejeans woke up in a cave, fresh out of a pod filled with green goop, and saddled with an unsettling feeling that he had been here before. If you had asked forty-year-old Barry if he would follow instructions left by a talking coin, he probably would have asked you what type of drugs you were on. But, y’know, fifty… two? Fifty-one? How old was he? Fifty-two sounded right. But, y’know, fifty-two years old Barry didn’t really have that many other places to turn, so this couldn't be all that bad.

Gen, 4.1k. Missing scenes based off Barry's decade alone, written in such an effective style, where all the little details truly make it. Mandatory reading for fellow Barry angst enjoyers.

Angus McDonald and the Wonderland Escape Rooms by coppersunshine: When Angus gets grounded from detecting, to keep his skills sharp he becomes a patron of the Wonderland Escape rooms, run by Edward and Lydia, who quickly decide he's their new nemesis. To their surprise, Angus and the collection of weird adults he's accompanied by decide otherwise.

Gen (Angus & Edward & Lydia), 7k. Modern with magic AU, putting Edward and Lydia in the absolute funniest possible job, at which a little boy detective torments... and maybe, even gives them a chance to turn over a new leaf. I am of the opinion that Angus and the Wonderland twins have a criminally underexplored dynamic, and this fic gave me everything I wanted.

If the Sun and Moon Should Doubt by Punka_Writes: Merle Highchurch, on the brink of a bad decision.

Gen, 1.6k. Merle character study immediately before running out on his marriage. Truly the incredible characterization that Merle deserves; this was a fic that really ignited my love for him.

Greensleeves by @sgrumby: Kravitz has never seen a lich like this before, and he's seen a lot of liches. Merle is just trying to save the universe, thanks very much.

Gen (Kravitz & Merle), 2.2k. A unique and also absolutely genius Lich!Merle AU where Kravitz inevitably comes after him, and Merle is... well, the Peacemaker, of course!

[jerreeeeeee]

It was only a blur. A flash of a face. A familiar silhouette. The way the man moved as he walked away down the street. Barry almost hesitated, almost didn't turn around. It was hard to see in the waning evening light, and he could nearly remember someone teasing him about his bad eyes. A voice he couldn't hear. It slipped from his mind as soon as he tried to grasp it.

The man went into a tavern. Barry followed him. It was a loud and crowded place, swanky, not what he would've chosen. There was a big stone hearth with a roaring fire that lit the place warmly, a nicely polished bar, tables full of people. There was a pool table in the back, in a way that made a kind of sense to him, even though he didn't know why it felt right, like weird, comforting, and deeply unsettling deja vu. The man he was following hadn't gone back there yet, but he was eyeing it from his seat. Barry went to the bar, put down the gold for a room and a drink, and before he could think better of it, sat right next to him.

The man hardly spared him a glance, focused on tearing apart the meal in front of him. He ate like he was starving. Barry tried not to stare, but kept looking at him out of the corners of his eyes. His face was fuzzy and out of focus and almost seemed like someone Barry should know. His ears flicked back and he shot Barry a look. Caught, he tried to pretend like he'd been looking at the pool table.

The man finally looked up. He followed his gaze to the table. Looked back at him, up and down. Especially down. At his shoes. Then back at the table, and then finally met his eyes. "Hey," he said. "What's your name?"

"Barry," Barry answered. "What's yours?"

"Taako," he answered. The beginnings of a grin tugged at his face. "How's a game of pool sound?"

-

Barry wiped his mouth and set down his fifth beer. "This is it," he said. "I'm gonna- I'm gonna get this one."

"You're more fun than I gave you credit for, Bluejeans!" Taako hollered. He'd had just as much to drink as Barry, who, despite appearances, could apparently party. "But still not good at pool. Let's see it." He leaned back in his chair and smiled easily, and rested his feet on the edge of the pool table. Barry eyed his own boots enviously. He'd lost the first round. And the second. That was two chances for the two boots—no one ever said Taako was uncharitable (well, actually, many people had said that). But Barry was doing better this time, with his glasses on the line. And Taako was having fun.

There was a gaping hole where his heart should be, as long as he could remember. It wasn't filled now, certainly. It still hurt if he thought about it. But there was a small, fluttering warmth there that grew hard to ignore the longer he laughed with Barry. It had been a long time since he'd really talked to anyone. The banter between him and Barry was comfortable and easy. His laugh was rusty, but he couldn't stop it from bubbling up out of the warmth in his chest.

Barry aimed his cue, and in a rather impressive and familiar maneuver, the ball sunk. "Ha!" Barry crowed, and finished the beer. "Guess I'm not so bad!" He turned around to face Taako, who had, just a moment before, had every appearance of enjoying himself.

Taako was no longer laughing. "Who taught you how to do that?"

"Huh?" Barry asked, looking back at the table like it'd tell him what he'd done.

Taako rose angrily. "Hey, who the fuck do you think you are? Have you been following me or something?" That was his move. He'd invented it as a kid... at least, he thought so. He'd been using it for a long time, anyway. But he hadn't tonight. Now that he thought about it, Barry had been playing just like he usually did.

"What?" Barry asked stupidly.

"I'm done, man," Taako replied. "I don't—I'm leaving." Whether Barry was an overzealous fan or a family member priming him for a revenge murder, Taako didn't want anything to do with it. He'd thought he was far enough away, somewhere he'd never been before, halfway across the continent, but this just kept following him—

"Hey, what about my shoes?" Barry asked, starting to get angry as well.

"I won them, asshole!"

"We're in the middle of a game!"

"Too bad!"

"W-At least let me—look, I-I already spent all my gold on a room, but you can have it if you give me my shoes back," Barry said wretchedly. "I can't—I need shoes."

"Then you shouldn't have bet them," Taako said, but his anger dampened. The guy seemed genuinely bewildered, and anyway, Taako couldn't afford a room here. Or anywhere else. It'd been a long time since he'd slept in a bed. It wasn't nearly as good as gold, but a night's sleep... Couldn't hurt to leave it to chance. "Tell you what," he said, "we'll finish the game. If you win, I'll take the room, and you can have your shoes back."

Barry grinned. "You're on."

-

Barry eyed the ball, drinks forgotten. He kind of desperately needed a win. "So," he said, trying for conversational, "what'd you even get mad about?"

Taako, also, had given up on flippancy. "You were playing just like me. I thought you'd been watching me or something."

"I have been," Barry answered, and noticed Taako's shoulders stiffen. He blushed. "Not- not like that. We've been playing all night. And, I mean, not to say I'm giving up, but you're a lot better than me. I kinda need any pointers I can get."

"Yeah," Taako said. "That is true. Maybe that was it."

The balls clattered and the one Barry had aimed for bounced away from its pocket. "Fuck."

Taako took his place and aimed his cue. The table scattered and two balls sunk. Barry was facing down a tomorrow without shoes. The coin'd told him he only needed enough gold for the night, with extra just in case—but that was extra before all the beers, and the chicken wings, and the room at the nice, expensive inn with the pool table he'd followed Taako into on a whim. He didn't even really know why he did it. There was just something about Taako... something that made his chest ache less, just like the coin said.

The game went on late into the night. The other people in the tavern slowly trickled away, upstairs or out the door to cheaper inns, until the room was left dim and quiet. Barry's turns always took too long, but Taako never told him to hurry up. The balls clinked together and sunk into their pockets one by one, until Taako took his last shot, and his last ball disappeared. Barry stared despondently.

Taako stretched his arms above his head and yawned loudly. "Well, guess that's it," he said with finality, still wearing Barry's boots. "See ya."

"Good game," Barry said hollowly, and walked to the stairs on socked feet. He made it about halfway up before he realized Taako wasn't moving that way either, or leaving.

Taako sighed. "Hang on, Bluejeans." Barry stopped. "Alright, here. Take your shoes. I don't need them. It was enough just to kick your ass."

Surprised at the offer of mercy, Barry came back down, and Taako handed his boots back, looking away, toward the empty bar.

"Thanks," Barry said.

"Sure," Taako said. "Whatever. What the hell am I gonna do with your boots? I have to be nimble, dude, and they're clunky as hell."

Barry went to go back up the stairs, but something stopped him. Taako still didn't make to leave. His clothes were awful ragged, threadbare and patched. He was still looking out at the room, and his eyes rested on the fireplace, where the fire had burned down to warm embers. It was cold at night this time of year, wasn't it?

"You can stay in my room if you don't have anywhere else to go," Barry blurted before he could think.

Taako looked back at him. "What?"

Barry flushed. He might still be a little drunk. "I-it just seemed like you weren't leaving... If you have a room somewhere else, sorry, but I was-"

"Inviting me to your room?" Taako asked incredulously. "What, are we gonna cuddle? Or are you coming on to me?"

"No," Barry said, embarrassed, even though he could tell Taako was fucking with him. Somehow, he could tell. "I just—look, you don't have to, I just thought it'd be nice to offer. Better than nothing. And you gave me my shoes back, so fair's fair."

Taako glanced back again toward the door, and the fireplace. "Alright," he said slowly, like he was surprised at himself. "You know what, why not."

-

Taako wasn't all that impressed. For a nice inn, it wasn't much. The bed was large, but other than that the room was mostly empty, and still chilly. Drafty window. Bare wooden floors. Well, he had a decent bedroll, at least, and it wouldn't be nearly as cold in there as outside. Even so, for a moment he stared longingly at the thick blankets on the bed. Then he started unfurling his bedroll in the clear space on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Barry asked.

"Going to sleep, dude. Gotta get a full eight hours." Elves were supposed to meditate, but he wasn't able to. He didn't know why. He just knew most of them did it with other elves nearby.

"On the floor?" Barry asked. Taako looked at him quizzically and he stammered, "I-I mean, it's a nice place—the bed's pretty big, y'know? I wouldn't mind."

"Thought you said you weren't coming on to me," Taako said, half joking and half uncomfortable. Not for any reason, really. He was far more comfortable than he ought to be.

"I'm not!"

Taako opened his mouth to say, I'm not spooning with a stranger, but something deep in his subconscious told him that wouldn't be quite accurate. Some part of him felt at ease. Something about this guy had compelled him to give the shoes back. He’d never given the shoes back before. He couldn't imagine why he did this time. Someone who seemed kind wasn't to be trusted. And yet...

"God," he muttered to himself, "what the hell am I doing?" Then, out loud, "Fine!" And before he could think any more about it he crawled into bed. Well, he crossed from where the bedroll on the floor was laid out, over to the left side of the bed, against the wall. Barry sat down on the right. He was between Taako and the door. No easy escape. Why the hell had he gone to a particular side at all? It wasn't like he was used to sharing. It wasn't like he'd ever had anyone to share with, enough to have a side. Whatever. He blamed it on the alcohol. Actually, he was just gonna blame all of this weird situation on the alcohol. All this warmth spilling over inside his chest. Well, what was done was done. Even if he couldn't understand why he'd done it.

Besides, Barry was a heavy sleeper. Something made him certain of that.

"Touch me and I'll curse your ass," Taako warned.

"My ass is already cursed," Barry mumbled, face buried in a pillow. "'M lactose intolerant."

That sounded right. That sounded exactly right. He didn't know how he knew these things.

Taako laid back cautiously, more out of habit than anything. He should be expecting something. He didn't have anything worth stealing, really, but there were definitely people who'd want to kill him. He should be falling asleep expecting to have his throat cut in the night.

But Barry was already snoring, and for some reason that sound made his eyes so heavy. Barry was a solid presence at his back, between him and the door, and for some reason, that made all his tensed muscles relax for the first time in a long, lonely time. Partly from the shared blanket and partly from this other, confusing feeling, Taako felt warm. The last thing he thought before he drifted off was that there was a space between them, a space that Barry had very carefully left at his request. And he wished there wasn't.

-

When Barry woke up to midmorning sunlight streaming through the inn room's window, for a moment the weight in his chest was light, and he felt, for the first time in years, that maybe he'd finally found a piece of his shattered self. Then he looked beside him, and the space there was empty and long cold. The ache came thundering back.

But the sheets had definitely been slept in.

[fandomsnstuff]

@taznovembercelebration

Day 3: bakery au/playlist

Kravitz gives Taako a gift and gets invited to a party

Read it on AO3

Kravitz stands pressed against the brick wall outside the bakery, out of view of the large stretch of front windows. He drums his fingers on the plastic case in his hands.

This is. Insane. Taako's working. He's almost always been working when they see each other. What on Earth made him think that making him a mixtape in cd form, cassette form, and spotify form (just in case he doesn't have a way to play the other two) would be appropriate?

Sure, they see each other every day when Kravitz comes in for a sweet treat. And Taako flirts with him over the counter every time, and loiters around the little table he sits at by the window to talk to him more. Then of course there was that time they ran into each other at the grocery store and stood in the aisle talking for at least 30 minutes. And the time they ran into each other at the movies and went for dinner and a walk after. Then Taako gave him his number the next day when he came in for a danish, and they text almost every day. Taako even joked that they were meant to be when they found out that Kravitz's old college roommate is his brother in law.

But a mixtape? What is this, 1986?

But here he is, with an hour and a half of music he carefully curated for Taako in three different forms. At this point he can't not give it to him.

He takes a deep breath and walks into the bakery. The bell above the door jingles and Taako doesn't even look up from where he's loading some fresh cookies into the display. "I was wondering how long you were gonna stand out there."

Kravitz freezes. "You could see-"

"Sure could." Taako comes up and leans against the counter, smiling smugly. "Whatcha got there?"

Kravitz hides the tape and cd behind his back, his face burning. "Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing." Kravitz takes a very sudden interest in the wall behind Taako. "Tell you what," Taako says, drawing Kravitz's eyes back to him like a magnet, "I'll trade you. You show me what made you stand outside my place of business for 10 minutes, and I give you one of my new ginger molasses cookies, on the house."

Kravitz eyes the cookies in question. They do look good, perfect picturesque cracks on top, sugar on the outside glistening like crystal. And Taako's cookies are always perfectly crunchy on the edges and soft in the middle.

"They just came out of the oven," he says tauntingly, "still warm."

The unfortunate thing is that Kravitz can be bought. Especially with baked goods. "I, um," his heart is still racing, but he approaches the counter, "this is so dumb, but I," he laughs, embarrassed, and presents the gifts, "I made you a mixtape? You mentioned that you've been listening to the same music when you bake since you started working here, and maybe you want to, but I just thought you might like… another option." Taako's very good at keeping his composure, but his eyebrows have raised. Kravitz hopes that's good surprised and not incredulous, bad surprised. "I didn't know what you have to play music so, uh, yeah."

A beat of silence passes, then Taako barks a laugh. He picks up the cassette and flips it over, reading the tracks. "Hozier, ACDC, Taylor Swift," his voice rises in pitch as he reads out the artists, "My Chemical Romance, Ed Sheeran, The Backstreet Boys, Nickleback-" he cackles, "you're a freak, Krav, this fucks."

Kravitz laughs. "You said you like variety."

"Well I've certainly got it now." He puts the tape down and walks back to the display, grabbing a paper bag and a pair of tongs. "I think I owe you two cookies for this."

"You don't have to-"

"Too late!" He packages up two ginger cookies and hands the bag over to him. "No take-backsies."

"Thank you." He takes his treat and sits at his table by the window, watching Taako as he takes his new music into the back, and a moment later the song playing over the speakers stops and Take Me to Church starts.

Taako isn't able to stop and talk to him a lot, he putters around, filling the display case, cleaning, helping other people who come in. When Kravitz is on his way out, Taako calls out, "hey, Krav!" He turns, and Taako says, "do you want to go to a party?"

"Like, in general?"

"No, I'm- there's going to be a party this weekend. With my friends. Barold will be there. Do you want to come?"

"Oh," other than Barry, he hasn't met Taako's friends, "I wouldn't want to intrude on your friends."

"Well," Taako scoffs and crosses his arms, "it's my birthday party so I can do whatever I want and they can deal."

Kravitz's eyes widen. "It's your birthday? I had no idea-"

"You wouldn't. Anyway, you in?"

"Yeah, yes, for sure."

"Cool. I'll text you."

Taako texts him later that day with an address and a time for the coming Saturday. He asks if he should bring anything, and Taako's response of "just your handsome self" makes his heart do somersaults. He considers getting Taako a gift, but he made him a mixtape. Maybe he already considers that his gift. He thinks about bringing wine, but he knows Taako's pretty particular about his wine pairings. The idea of flowers goes straight out the window, that'd be too much.

He follows Taako's instructions and just brings himself. There's food and desserts set out, including a cake that's been pre-cut so people can just grab and go. He asks Taako, "no candles?"

He snorts. "Trust me, you don't want to hear these fuckers sing."

The party itself is… fine. Taako's friends are welcoming, and include him in conversation and games. But there's a history and camaraderie here that he's very clearly not a part of. Of course it's Taako's party, so he can do what he wants, but Kravitz feels like he shouldn't be here.

Taako sticks around in his general vicinity for the most part, which Kravitz is grateful for. It reminds him that he was actually invited. But at some point Taako gets dragged off to do god knows what, and Kravitz takes the opportunity to step outside.

The cool night air is refreshing. He takes a deep breath and sits in one of the patio chairs. A minute later, the sliding door opens and Barry steps out. He sits in the chair next to him, "you okay, bud?"

He shrugs. "Yeah." Barry gives him a sympathetic look that somehow makes him want to spill his guts. Kravitz sighs, "it's just- I'm glad that Taako invited me, but it just feels like- everybody's nice and all, but you've known each other for so long, maybe it'd have been better if his birthday party was just his closest friends, you know?"

Barry snorts. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but," he chuckles and shakes his head, "do you know how Taako normally celebrates his birthday?"

His brow furrows. "He has a party? Has all his friends come and give him presents?"

"No. He lets Lup buy him dinner and that's it. He never wants a party or cake. I'm not even allowed to know where they're going for dinner." He leans in close and lowers his voice, "this party didn't exist until he invited you to it."

"Then…" he looks back through the glass of the sliding door, where Taako's scrambling to get out of Magnus's arms like an indignant cat while Merle loudly sings Happy Birthday, "why?"

Barry looks a little smug. "I have a few ideas."

"Like what?"

He shrugs and stands, clapping a hand on Kravitz's shoulder. "I'll see you in there."

"Wha- Barry!"

But he's already gone back inside.

The Monday after the party, Kravitz is sitting at his table in the bakery, daydreaming out the window when a slice of confetti cake is set down in front of him. Taako sits across from him with his own slice of confetti cake that has a purple candle sticking out of it. He takes a lighter out of his pocket and seem to light and blow out the candle in one go. He picks up the fork on his plate and digs into the cake. Kravitz picks up his own fork and tentatively takes a bite.

"I hear Barold spilled the party beans to you," Taako says after a long silence. He's deconstructing the layers of cake with his fork.

"Party beans?" Kravitz says eloquently.

Taako huffs. "Party beans! The beans about the party!" He slumps back in his chair, and scoops a lump of icing into his mouth.

Kravitz doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. They both pick at their cake in silence as Green Day serenades them through the speakers.

"I just never really saw the point," Taako says eventually. "For our entire lives, our birthday was just another day, because we had no money to make a big deal about it. Then we got some money and a couple of friends, and we could make a whole shindig about it. Lup loved it, I didn't really care. I liked planning it for Lup, but I just didn't need it for me. I let her take me to dinner because she insists on doing something."

Kravitz takes a moment, then says, "you deserve to be celebrated, Taako."

"I know," he snaps. "A birthday party's just too much."

"But you love getting attention." He shrugs, still slumped in his seat. Kravitz says, "so why the party now?"

"I wanted to spend time with you, doofus. And a birthday party was the first thing that came to my idiot brain."

"Oh." Kravitz stabs at his cake. "You don't need to throw a party to get me to spend time with you." Taako stays low in his seat, looking at his decimated piece of cake. "Can I take you to dinner?"

Taako finally sits up. "As long as you don't tell the waiters it's my birthday. I've been subjected to too many sparklers and stupid hats."

Kravitz laughs. "I think I can manage that."

[faithfulcat111]

I'm feeling things about them again.... Many things.... Like seriously where else are you gonna find lines like:

"And… I love him, Taako, with all of my heart, but you… I needed a day from you, because you are my heart. You know that, right?"

"Are you the one who's been hurting my brother out there? I'm gonna fucking kill you now."

"Do you trust me?" (*in the softest voice possible*)"Of course."

"I'm gonna- gonna go blow myself up just so I can be a lich and hold you again, hold on-"

"Taako, what if she's just gone?" "...Who?"

"Barrrrrry." "We should get back on the ship." "Barry, I rolled an eleven!"

"You know, I don’t know about in love. It’s only been tw- Um… Twenty-one years…  Shit."

"I need you to tell me, in a sentence, why we should trust you and turn against the Bureau." "I don’t know, but I feel like I trust you."

"Barry, what the hell happened?" "A lot of shit. And it was all really terrible, and if you gave me the option, I would not do it again."

"I’m sorry, guys, but I have to help Lup. If there’s anything I can do for her, I- I gotta be with her."

"Hear that, babe? We're legends!"

[epersonae]

Do you think you could fall in love again?

On the one hand, this is a wildly personal question, anon, and from the reaction of my knitting group, it would be totally appropriate for me to just abandon this in the depths of my unanswered asks.

On the other hand, if it is possible to know one thing about me as a person, just from my blog, it’s that I was deeply madly in love, and that that person died. And also: you have in fact activated my trap card.

Because I thought about this, almost as soon as they died, and not in a way where I was ready to fall in love immediately, but I think I said to @faintvox maybe the next day: can you be polyamorous with a ghost?

Because when I got divorced from my first spouse, I thought I wouldn’t find love for a long time. I expected to be single for years, because I had so much trauma from that, because I had loved him and it had broken me, because I thought it would be too hard to start over after more than 20 years with someone else.

And when I told Ryn that, after we started dating, they laughed at me. “There is no way you were going to be single for five years,” they said, which how long I said I’d expected. (For the record: I left my ex in August 2018; Ryn and I started dating in October 2019.)

Because Ryn and I were in a polyamorous relationship when we started out, and we were just trying to figure out how we wanted to do that again, more deliberately, and instead cancer-wedding-death. Our wedding vows deliberately included that space in our lives, in a way where it also was about our friendships, and was also something that would not be totally obvious to a couple of my older relatives.

Because I realized, after they died, that we together had written me a way through it — the fic we wrote together, one of the central characters is a widower, and the guy who created him always said “Magnus never loves again,” and we said “Fuck that,” and we said (altho this is I think @nekosd43's formulation originally), “Magnus is made for love,” and we shipped him in stories set before his marriage and we shipped him in stories set after. And Magnus’s grief and love for Julia is woven through the love that we gave him in the stories we wrote with him and Taako and him and Lucretia, and the love and the grief are both important. (JFC I WROTE A PIECE ABOUT LUCRETIA ASKING HIM ABOUT A TATTOO HE GOT FOR JULIA.)

Because among many other things, for the benefit of all the broken hearts is in part about what it means to have love that isn’t The Love, what it means to find love in the aftermath of tragedy, to find love in places you didn’t expect.

Because people in my family live a really fucking long time, and the idea of living another 30, 40, 50 years without romantic love, without being in love, is kind of horrifying to me. (No offense to my aromantic pals, but could not be me.) Especially given that I am already of a mindset that it is possible to have romantic love for more than one person at a time — to say that I couldn’t have it again at all is just not realistic for who I am.

No one is ever going to have the exact place that Ryn did and does. No one will ever be them, no other relationship will be the one that we had from when they first messaged me in 2017 until I lay next to their corpse in a hospital bed in 2021. Even in death they are literally my safe space.

And yet.

So the scene in OFMD 1x10, where Stede asks Mary what love feels like. I have always associated that with Ryn, and with my own little montage, because that is what our love felt like. (There are so many things about s1 Ed and Stede that are ridiculously us.) If we’d been married a year later, I bet some of that would have been in our wedding ceremony.

And yet.

I haven’t posted about it on Tumblr, but there is a somebody, and I am quite in love with them, and one time last summer I was watching Our Flag Means Death, as you do. And I got to that scene, and my mind was doing the montage overlay thing with moments of Ryn…and also moments with this other person. And I knew that I loved them, that I was in love with them, but to have that connection happen? I burst into tears.

Because I had known intellectually, but I felt it in a different way, deeply and truly, the simultaneousness of that love, the way it overlaps, and neither makes the other less, and there was love, and there is love, and whatever happens next there will be love.

[noodyl-blasstal]

Fake Dating - TAZNC Day 1

It's @taznovembercelebration time again!!! My first card pull was "Fake Dating" (delicious, also, we're already off the rails). Want to take part too? Find to post here. You can write, draw, share thoughts, anything. It's just a fun time to talk about taz!

Anyway, have some Taakitz! Read below or on Ao3:

--

“Krav, Kraverooni, Kravino, please? Taako’s asking you from the bottom of his tiny shrivelled up husk of a heart.” 

Kravitz rolls his eyes. “You hand reared a litter of kittens you found in a bin bag.”

“Easy money, the resell on those.” Taako says all faux nonchalant, flipping his hand as if Kravitz didn’t sit up all night with him so they could take shifts to sleep but both woke up for every single feed alarm anyway.

“You kept three of them and gave the others away for free.” Kravitz says flatly, "... In fact!" He's worked up now, he's remembering "... You did home inspections for every one to check they'd be safe and happy." There’s no chance he’s going to let Taako pretend he doesn’t care. He cares often and passionately in various directions. “Anyway, who was the one who organised the letter writing campaign to Angus’ school when they tried to stop his soccer team’s funding and put it into the football team?”

“Anyone would have done that.”

“Did anyone else?”

“They might have.”

“If you didn’t?”

“If I didn’t.” There’s a long pause. “It’s not because I care though. Taako just didn’t want to see his sad little face.”

“Because you don’t care.”

“Because he takes up more room when he’s sad. It gets everywhere, the child mope. I’d have to scrub it out of the floors.”

“And why would he be moping here?”

“Because… I… It’s court ordered.”

“Uh huh.” Kravitz has him on the ropes.

“And there’s evidence of that, then, is there? If I googled your name I’d see the sentencing?”

“I had Google wiped by data assassins.”

“I assume you have a copy of the paperwork I could review?”

“Cats ate it.”

“Which ones?”

“This one!” Taako indicated Tiny Taco, who’s gnawing at the string of Kravitz’s shoe. Taako’s got him here, it’s plausible, but…

“Cats plural, who were the accomplices?” 

“You don’t know them. Strange cats, a bad crowd that Taco’s been hanging out with. I’ve tried telling him, Taco, son, they’re not worthy of your time, they’re leading you down a bad path, can’t you just play nicely with Garyl and Beans? But no, he worries me sick instead.”

“Taco’s a house cat.”

“He’s been running up massive phone bills.”

“How did they get in the house to eat the documents with him?”

“He pushed it under the door and they lady and the tramped it.”

“You have a porch, the cats aren’t allowed in the porch.”

“The back door.”

“Uh huh. And this flagrant fabrication is easier than admitting you want nice things for Angus?”

“Yes.” 

“Why?”

“You’ll think I care.”

“You do care. I watch you care all the time! Today you cared at least three times before breakfast.”

“Nuh uh.” Taako’s squirming in place now, he can’t run though, it’s his house.

“Yuh huh. Who helped Grant with the papers to set up his juice stand?”

“Well it made sense, I set up Sizzle It Up so I knew what to do. It was a chance for Taako to show off.”

“You helped coach Sloane to ask Hurley out.”

“So she’d stop whinging about it to you. She was taking up my valuable Kravitz time.”

“You care about me then?”

“No.” Taako looks pained when he realises what he said and how quickly he said it. “Just the normal amount. The friends amount.”

Kravitz tries not to let it sting. Of course Taako just wants to be friends. It’s fine. Kravitz is a grown up, he can look after himself. He shouldn’t have let it get this far, shouldn’t have let his feelings get so deep. It’s fine, he can just change the subject, they don’t have to do this now, especially not with the current context. “You didn’t let Magnus pet the bear.” 

“I should have.” Taako says darkly. “Then I wouldn’t have had needed to listen to him complain all the way home.” 

“Also you didn’t want him to die?” Kravitz asks casually, trap closing.

“I’m not a monster.”

“Show off, I can’t believe you’d be so insensitive.” Kravitz flops backwards onto the chair, hand across his eyes.

Taako throws a cushion at him. “Come off it, you love it, wolf boy.”

Kravitz sits up, grins to show off his slightly-sharper-than-they-should-be teeth. “Sounds like I’m not the only one.”

“It’s such a good club, Krav. Lup and Magnus are always saying how fabulous it is there, and who’s more fabulous than Taako?” 

“Good point. I can’t think of many people.” He means it, is the problem, Kravitz can’t think of anyone more fabulous, more funny, more handsome… nope!

“Then you see why Taako’s solution is perfect?”

Ah fuck. They’re back to where they started.

“Why me?”

“Do you know any other single werewolves who’d be down to fake-date Taako into The Starblaster?”

Kravitz growls low and slow, surprises himself just as much as Taako. “Er. That… I… I have to go to the bathroom.” Kravitz flings himself off the sofa, dives towards the toilet, slams the lock home, and tries not to let the panic take hold. Maybe Taako didn’t even notice? How often was he even around werewolves? Did he even know what that was? Like, fine, yes, his sister was married to Barry, and Magnus was married to Julia, and Taako was part of their families and he’d seen the dating process up close, and… fuck. No no, it was fine. He was psyching himself out unnecessarily. Barry told him all the time that he worried too much, ocerthought everything, this was fine, good even, he’d just say that it was a cough if Taako asked.

Kravitz splashes his face with cool water. It doesn't help as much as he hoped, but it was worth a go. "It's fine." He says firmly to his own reflection. "He didn't even notice."

“So I couldn’t help but notice…” Taako says, the second Kravitz re-enters the room. It’s probably too late to go hide again. “... that you might be feeling a bit possessive when it comes to other weres dating yours truly.”

“It was a cough.” Says Kravitz, not even convincing himself.

“Uh huh.” Taako isn’t convinced either. “You know, the only condition of getting into The Starblaster is that you're a were or you’re dating one.”

“I’m aware.” Kravitz cannot believe Taako is still focused on the club while simultaneously tearing away the carefully constructed wall Kravitz has been using to hide his ridiculous unwanted feelings for months. Doesn't he care? He could at least be offended. The indifference hurts.

“Well it doesn’t have to be fake. I didn’t realise you’d be down.”

“Are you offering to sleep with me to get into the stupid club?” Kravitz is angry now, furious. He thought they were friends, he thought Taako wanted some kind of relationship with him - even if it was just friendship, he would have been happy with friendship. He doesn’t want this, it should be special, not just some flippant transactional thing.

“No! I’m offering to sleep with you because I like you, you idiot.”

“Wait, did you just proposition me, confess you have a crush on me, and call me an idiot in the same breath?” Kravitz didn’t know whether to be offended or elated, settles on something in the middle.

“Sounds about right. Wanna kiss about it?” 

Kravitz does, in fact, want to kiss about it, but first he needs to know what is going on. “You like me? Romantically like me?” 

Taako arches an eyebrow and looks peeved about the lack of kissing. “Obviously.”

“For the club?”

“A bit for the club.” Taako’s forehead wrinkles. “It’s really cool. I’m not going to lie to you. But that’s more a perk of the boning, not the reason for it.”

Kravitz sinks down onto the sofa. Taako likes him back, Taako likes him back and not just because he wants to go to the stupid club.

“If anything, the boning will be the biggest perk of the boning.” Taako says cheerfully, pats him on the shoulder.

“Why are you like this?” Kravitz asks through his hands, face buried.

“You love it.” Taako says, plonking himself down next to Kravitz and throwing an arm around him. “Can we skip to the kissing bit now, or do I need to tell you about how I was gonna fake date you so hard you’d forget we weren’t real dating?”

“Can we do both?”

“You want me to talk through the kisses?”

“Between them?”

“Fine, but it’s a talk sandwich, kissing bread.”

“Kissing bread.” Kravitz extracts his face from his hands, sits up, and nods solemnly.

“Here we go!” Taako says, leaning in. 

“No!” Kravitz scoots backwards. “That was terrible, awful. Our first kiss is not going to be prefaced by “here we go!””

“You do better then.” Taako’s arms are crossed and he’s doing the frowny thing and Kraivtz is going to kiss every grumpy furrow out of his brow.

“I’ve wanted to do this for months.” Says Kravitz simply, makes it inches from Taako’s lips before he pulls back.

“That’s not fair! You can’t just be all suave out of nowhere. What am I supposed to say to top that?”

“You don't need to top it, it’s not a competition.”

“It could be. If it was.”

“Well it isn’t.” Kravitz says firmly. He reaches for Taako, trying to draw him back in. They were so close to finally getting it together.

“Buckle up, sweetlips.”

Kravitz stands, horrified. “Taako! What… why would you?”

Taako’s too busy laughing to answer. “Your… your face!” He gasps out.

“Do you want to kiss or not?” Kravitz is trying not to be petulant, he’s trying so hard, he’s failing.

Taako dives forward and crashes their mouths together. Kravitz can’t entirely tell when his mouth opened, or when exactly Taako started to nip at his lip, but it’s good, it’s great, even. Kravitz’s hands pull Taako closer, closer, closer, cradle his face, weave into his hair, help pull him down when he moves to straddle Kravitz’s lap. It’s messy and passionate and perfect, he doesn’t want it to end.

“Wanna kiss or not?” Taako pulls back, then snorts with laughter.

“I would love to do more kisses, why don’t you come back down here?” Kravitz asks, running a hand over Taako’s chest in what he hopes is an alluring manner.

“No, you said… I… it’s perfect. “Wanna kiss or not?” and then we did. That’s how we got together.” He collapses onto Kravitz’s chest, giggling furiously.

“You tricked me!” 

Taako laughs harder.

“We’re going to have to tell people that when they ask.” Kravitz says, aghast. He really doesn't want to have to tell anyone this story.

Taako attempts to sit back, taking a moment to collect himself. “We’re going to <i>get&lt;/i> to tell people when they ask. What a gift!”

“A gift.” Kravitz repeats, quietly, carefully. 

“Hey Krav?”

“Yes Taako?” 

“I think you’re great.”

“I think you’re great too.”

“Wanna kiss about it?”

Kravitz cups Taako’s face, brings it gently, reverently towards him like Taako’s the most precious thing in the world. He might be in this moment. Kravitz kisses each cheek softly, then his nose, his forehead, and finally his lips. It’s gentle, tentative, full of care.

Taako pulls back. “You’re going to tell people this was what happened, aren’t you?”

“Yep!” Kravitz says happily, pressing their lips together again.

“Fine. But I’m telling the real story.” Taako says huffily before kissing a firm line from Kravitz’s collar bone to his jaw. “The people need to know.”

“Uh huh.”  Kravitz is finding it harder to focus on anything but the insistent kisses on his neck and the hands working themselves down his chest. “Gotta give the people the…” He tails off as Taako’s teeth graze his neck. “What… they… it’s science.”

“Uh huh.” Taako replies. “Great point.”

“No more words, just kissing.” Kravitz tugs Taako closer again.

“Are you going to tell people this bit too?” Taako asks. 

“Ssssh.” Kravitz kisses Taako again. “Nothing about other people, just about us.”

“Just us.” Taako nods. “And how much fun we’re going to have at The Starblaster.”

Kravitz sighs.

“Hey Krav?” Taako noses at his cheek.

“Yeah?” 

“I’m glad we figured it out.”

“Me too, Taako. Me too.” 

--

Thank you for reading! You can find the next day here.

[forgottenfinn]

hii so i’m crazy so here’s will wood songs as taz characters cause i have basically only listened to will wood for the past two months and i can make anything whatever i want forever

also. i am a taako guy at my core so i can relate anything to him so sorry it’s taako all the way down

its like. a lot of taako and lucretia.

ww is just so taako coded idk what you want

this is so nothing

________________

tomcat disposables:

the twins -

the whole food imagery and the hope for peace and stability

“One night one flung light through this place

So I run for cover, over, under, left the rind out on the plate

Little heart racing and praying, "Something, keep me safe"

I think it saw my face

Okay, one hungry day”

being about the light of creation / the hunger during the stolen century

“i’ll make it through again, i have before, come on now, what’s one more?”

which is lup dying and being used to it after so many years dying

“Just like I'd always imagined it

More than I could eat

My dreams were finally reality

My struggles had a happy ending

They must want to be friends

My stomach starts to turn

With thirst, why does it hurt?

My just dessert is served, dig in”

taako realizing that lucretia was behind it all, the place where he found a home was lying to him. also idk something glamour springs

also lup dying just as she was about to successfully secure her relic

“I held on so tight

For so long, it's just not right

Let a sigh out as I close my eyes

Was that all there was to this?

What's for the best?”

lup dying after they Finally got to stay in a world, also her skeleton being described as just resting against the wall like it was relaxed

________________

becoming the lastnames:

i can and will make becoming the last names about whoever the fuck i want, however,

taako (& kravitz) -

“I'm not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father

Yeah, I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig”

being about davenport

“And marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love

And love can last a pretty good long while, yeah, I've seen it around”

duh, barry and lup OBVIOUSLY

something something taako seeing lup fall in love after everything they went through together and that’s great but him never seeing that for himself

“But what do I know 'bout forever when so far I've been so fleeting?”

everyone was just talking dust, etc etc

“Babe, my frontal lobe's done growing, this might just be how I'm wired

But now we're kissing before brushing, smile with our whole faces

If you want a hyphen last name, I guess I don't mind the cadence”

it’s just. hold my hand. trust.

“Cause I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments

Whoa-oh, each one as out of character as you know I tend to be”

you’re gonna look me in the eyes and say that is not a taako thing. come on.

“If we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone?

That is, assuming that I die first (which is fair) and assuming I don't leave”

kravitz already being dead and taako having a habit of running away

________________

cicada days:

taako and lucretia -

“She said, "It just feels inhumane to lose this much"

"'Cause when you leave you know you takе more than your love"

lucretia losing her family, also her making taako forget lup

“Let all my red flags fade to white, yeah, I give up

Don't let me leave, I'll only take more than I gave

Okay, I'll pack my stuff

Here at the end of days, my god, what have I done?

Christ, now it feels damn inhumane to get all I've dreamed of”

lucretia after the day of story and song, feeling like none of them care about her anymore because of what she did. but ultimately, the world was safe, her family was safe, even tho the way she wanted to go about it was wrong and would have killed them all, and her having to come to terms with what she did to everyone, taako and davenport especially

taako after glamour springs, seeing the people he thought he killed after achieving his dream of being famous. something something sazed letting taako believe it was his fault

________________

euthanasia:

lucretia -

i actually think about this a lot LMAO

“I was right there

While you fought tooth and nail

Gasping in the gas mask thrashing till you disappeared

Say you're not scared, that you know it's cause I cared and

Say you know I love you, and that hope was just not there”

magnus walking in while she’s feeding the story to the void fish, her saying she loves all of them, and she’s gonna fix everything

“Over the rainbow, can I stop by and say hello and

Sorry I would take it back if I could but I know

To love one from too far to call

Is not to love at all, to whom is it I talk?”

her visiting them in their respective areas, just to make sure they were okay

________________

that’s enough, let get you home:

barry bluejeans -

“Haunt my bedroom at night and say "Let's get you home"

liches <3

“They say "Grow up, be a man, 'cause until then

You're nothing but a short-haired girl"

sorry trans barry will always be real to me

“So come on, William, grow up, be a man

'Cause until then they're gonna treat you

Like you're just a little girl

But come and Braille-palm-read, hold my hands and you'll see that

It's me who cries mercy while your fingers curl

And, oh, are you at all like me?

Do you know what I mean?

Or am I too close to see?

Someone, anyone?”

DO YOU GET IT.

________________

um, it’s kind of a lot:

taako -

“But I never been afraid of no one breaking my heart

It's not like I'm 'bout to fall and cut my throat on the shards”

taako not really. seeing falling in love as an option for him

“Hold me like a tourniquet, and I'll you, like an iron maiden

I've grown used to fear

But no, not to you yet, my dear”

something about kravitz being so just. sweet and endearing and that just scaring the shit out of taako. kravitz will hold him gently and help him, he’ll hold kravtiz like he will leave him

taako is always very much the quote of, everything i let go of has claw marks on it

“Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death

I'm not used to this

How did it happen, baby?”

my taakitz :(

“And I'm afraid you'll notice all my flaws

I'm afraid you already have, obviously

And I'm afraid I'll come on too strong

Hold you too tight and scare you too”

post wonderland.

“I'll twist my words: a clever turn of phrase

Sorry, darling, please excuse my

Constant need to self-aggrandize

Coddling my narcissism

M.A.D. come ride my A-bomb

While I beg you to say I'm okay

So here's one last lyric to sum up these

Thoughts I struggled to come up with

To make me sound deep and smart and

Then I promise I'll shut up

Wait, let me think

Hold on, I got this

Anything but "I'm in love with you"

ARE WE KIDDING.

________________

half decade hangover:

taako and lucretia -

“Wonder how I didn't die

This is not my life. I'm no survivor, I only happened to survive”

taako post glamour springs after he got some reason didn’t test the food first

lucretia being alone after she erases their memories, technically alive but. why

“Cause I was drunk when I made my bed

Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it

What have I done? Don't know what I've said

It's a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead

It's a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head”

taako having to deal with the aftermath of glamour springs. specifically “either this (adventuring with thb), in jail (cause of glamour springs), or dead (yeah.)”

also him with angus after being a dick to him or any other person he lashed out at

lucretia having to deal with what she had done, watching her family be a shell of themselves and then once they’re back, dealing with the backlash from it

“Sober, but so much still hangs over

Please believe me when I say I poured my whole past down the drain

Say that a second chance is a chance I can take

But I can't make amends for things I don't remember

I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray

Guess you'll just have to take my word that I've changed

After one thousand eight hundred twenty five days”

then not being able to remember half of the shit that they did, lucretia not being able to ask for forgiveness till so so much later. also she can’t fix what she did

________________

vampire reference in a minor key:

kravitz -

i mean, duh. the whole vibe of the song is so kravitz

“If you need me, I'll be in my coffin

You could come knocking, and I'll raise hell for you”

this man arguing with his literal GODDESS cause the guy he likes has a fucking weird family

“Hold my hands, we'll dance the 12-step on my grave

I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours, babe

No, I ain't begging, I'm just saying, it's an option

Don't let the latest be the last nail in my coffin”

TRUSTTTT

________________

the main character:

taako -

i mean. come on. you saw that coming

“So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being

I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene

I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy

Don't come at me

I'm the main character, and you have to like me”

i think justin listened to this song and went. yk what. i can work with that. (ik taz came out before incase i make it, hush)

“you’re about to kill americas favorite wizard.”

“I loot plot armor from NPCs

Well, they are to me

Trite, tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats, it's all XP”

taako stealing from Literally everyone all of the time

________________

against the kitchen floor:

taako -

it’s literally called against the Kitchen floor. what do you want from me.

“I don't owe you my heart

And I don't owe you my body

But you should know that I'm sorry

For being careless with you”

listen. me and mars love to play little barbie’s with these characters but like. do you understand. do you see the vision. taako being someone who has a lot of casual sex and is like no yeah i’m so cool and normal about this and he’s Not cause he’s a Liar but like.

the wanted to be wanted thing even if it’s not. good.

something soemthing sazed etc etc

“I swear, I'm really trying

Get it together, Will, know and do better

It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for mе

I swear, I'm really trying

Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best

I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet”

him having to learn what a normal and healthy relationship looks like with kravitz and being kind of off put when kravitz actually likes him for real

“I've lived more lives than enough, I haven't died quite as much

But I'm not a real person, just the shit you can't make up, and”

stolen century, duh

“I swear, I'm really trying

I'm just as exposed if I take off my clothes

When we make the closest thing to love that I'm capable of

And I don't know why you would care

But I'm really trying”

something about his glamour thing after wonderland

“I'm catatonic in your arms

Crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"

I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor

Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

Don't say "I'm sorry, but this can't go on"

I know you've got scars of your own

But hide my knives before you go

I'll either live or die alone”

him with sazed after glamour springs

“ promise, I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible

I swear, I'm so fucking sorry

I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all

But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all”

“taakos not a hero.” yeah.

________________

sex, drugs, rock’n’roll:

taako -

“So this is what I choose to do

With my redeeming quality

That thing that came from the same place as my

Instability”

i know it means mental instability, and like yeah that too, but his home/money instability. learning how to be a wizard and how to cook so that he would have somewhere to stay

“It's not a gift if you pay for it

And I don't want no charity

I spent all my years to end up right here, and now

I really think I'd rather leave”

post glamour springs

“And I hate proving that

I'm still human after all”

“i’m a fully realized creation! fuck!” etc etc

________________

white noise:

lucretia -

“But If you listen closely I swear, to God I swear

You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear, here:

White noise

If you listen close between the waves

White noise

You can hear the ocean through your wake

White noise

If you listen close between the waves

White noise

You can hear the ocean through your wake”

just this whole songs meaning is very lucretia to me. the quiet isn’t boring. there’s more to lucretia than even she sees if you care to notice

[plusultraetc]

hii three questions in one ask for fun. who r ur favorite charas, what r ur fav arcs and what r ur fav subplots in mha :}} big fan of the todofam sideplot and the endeavor agency arc… bkdk third wheeling family drama. hilarious… 😁😁

genuinely HOW could you do this to me, I am so indecisive and I have so many favorite things </3 Also get ready for the sheer volume of words I am about to throw at you :D

SO, favorite characters. Obv there are So Many Characters in this show, but I still feel like I can count the ones I don't like on one hand and have fingers left over. I definitely have some obvious favorites (Aizawa, Mic, Shinsou) and some only-slightly-less obvious ones (Shigaraki, All Might, Hawks), but there are also some faves I don't yap about as much like Kirishima, Jirou, Miruko, and VLAD KING the LOVE of my LIFE. I queued a post recently about Inasa being an underrated fave, which is still true, but Vlad King is truly the king (haHA) of underrated faves. I love that man a ridiculous amount. THE TL;DR HERE IS THAT I LOVE 98% OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS SHOW SM IT'S UNREAL.

Arcs & subplots under the keep reading bc my main personality trait (never shutting up) struck again ! The short answer is Sports Festival & Todorokis, Shinsou, Rooftop gang for anyone who doesn't want to stare at that wall of text 😭

Favorite arcs: I have almost as many favorite arcs as I do favorite characters LMAO. You are SO RIGHT about the Endeavor Agency arc; usually people are forced to witness Midoriya & Bakugou's drama but oh, how the tables have turned. I also love Fuyumi and Natsuo and am always delighted to see them, even if they <3 punching me directly in the feelings :(

The USJ arc is, imo, a perfectly executed plot point, so from a writing perspective I really love USJ. It's got action, it's got character spotlights, but most importantly, it ties together the plot/character/worldbuilding threads of the first season so perfectly. Like. It's seamless. It was a writing school level moment. No notes.

The Hideout Raid arc (specifically All Might vs AFO) and Paranormal Liberation War gave me grays at 25. Joint Training is always a delight. But if I had to pick One Arc to Rule Them All it might honestly be Sports Festival?? It features all of my top three favorite characters for more than one (1) scene each and it is just. Such a wild time.

There is so much to unpack about this arc but it has a very special place in my heart bc the first time I ever watched it (so, like, 5+ years ago) my sister and I for some reason decided to treat it like people who care about the Super Bowl treat the Super Bowl. It was our Olympics except the team we were rooting for changed depending on the episode. To this day I remember my sister turning on a DIME from hating Bakugou since Season 1 Episode 1 to CHAMPIONING him with her whole chest bc Monoma pissed her off so much when he stole Bakugou's headbands. And now he's like her second favorite character in the entire series so?? Origin story moment ig.

Last but not least, favorite subplots!!

TODOROKIS. YEAH. Their entire plotline was one of the major factors that motivated me to catch up on the show. I was like what do you mean they're trying to give superhero Fire Lord Ozai a redemption arc? What do you mean that other fire guy was actually a Todoroki? Like... you have to remember that where I left off w this show, Endeavor seemed to exist solely to give Shouto a backstory, and honestly I remembered like nothing about Dabi. If getting back into MHA was a pit of quicksand the Todorokis truly walked me right up to the edge of it. It was like that part of TAZ where Taako is like 'okay that's weird enough that I'm gonna go in there.'

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Shinsou's off-screen character arc is EVERYTHING to me. I could write a thesis on this side character who appears like. Three times in the entire show. Shinsou really said 'I will be a mirror character AND undo the First Great Contradiction of this series AND have tangible, believable character growth, all while being given less screen time than Mineta' and I love that for him.

The rooftop gang... I'm not going to say much on this one for manga reasons but it's definitely a subplot I find very compelling. I'm still ruminating on its execution so far but I Did Cry over the Reveal in season 5. It re-contextualized so much, not just about Aizawa and Mic, but about UA and the lives of hero students. Ack.

TYSM FOR THIS ASK, this week has been three weeks long but I had so much fun writing this exhausted ramble <3

[barry-j-blupjeans]

If you're still accepting '101 ways to Say I Love You with Actions' prompts then 36. "Letting them lay across your lap to read." with anyone who takes your fancy would be wonderful!

36. "Letting them lay across your lap to read."

--

Lucretia has accepted a lot of things by now. She's accepted the fact that they don't (yet) know how to defeat the Hunger. She's accepted that she will probably never have a normal young adulthood. She's accepted that she's stuck rooming with Merle for now, who snores like an entire ogre in his sleep. She's accepted that she's probably gonna fuck up her wrists real bad with all this writing.

And she's accepted the fact that Magnus has decided that her legs specifically are the best place to read.

She's not complaining! Well, not out loud. Lucretia loves Magnus like a brother, but sometimes she does get the Cain Instinct. Magnus is big- much bigger than her, both vertically and horizontally. And he likes to read out loud. Never super loud, but if Lucretia was trying to read herself, Magnus's attempts at whispering under his breath were incredibly distracting. Lucretia was the type of person who could work in pretty much any environment if she gave it her all. That didn't mean she wanted to be in said environment, though.

It's never really been a problem before now. That being said, they had never been in a world with the largest library Lucretia has ever seen before now. This plane was completely devoted to learning and documenting new discoveries. In return for letting them study the Light alongside the crew, they had been granted full access to the library's services, including the books regular citizens were not allowed to borrow. Lucretia was consuming them at a lightning pace.

For the past few weeks, she'd come into the library first thing in the morning and start right where she left off. Often, another crew member would come with her. Barry and Lup, usually, if they had time between their work with the Light. Davenport preferred to check out books to read on the ship, and Merle had a temporary ban for tracking mud inside on three separate occasions (when it hadn't even been raining. Lucretia would have asked questions but by now she knew how Merle was.). Taako made a huge show of telling her that "reading was for nerds" and "I have better things to do", so Lucretia was content not bringing it up every time they came across each other on the shelves.

Magnus was kind of touch and go. Getting him to focus on something like this had always been a challenge, but with a world focused mainly on studies and books, he didn't really have anywhere else to turn. He had taken to setting up shop near Lucretia, and then next to her, and then quite literally on her. She had to move over to one of the couches because sitting at the table was not going to support both of them.

"Luce," Magnus said, poking the back of her hand. Lucretia blinked, looking away from her book.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you think they've invented fun on this plane," Magnus said.

"You're awful," Lucretia said, bringing her attention back to her book. Magnus squirmed.

"This is awful," Magnus said. "Do they even have sports? Is sport a thing? Is there a book about, I don't know, some physical activities or like, punching someone, or?"

"I'm sure there is somewhere," Lucretia said. Magnus groaned.

"I don't wanna read about it," he said. Lucretia was beginning to think she wasn't going to be allowed to read anymore. "I wanna do it."

"Who's stopping you?" she asked.

Magnus paused. He had his Considering face on, which was never a good thing. Lucretia might have just caused a terrible thing to go into motion. But after a long, tense second, Magnus rolled his eyes and said,

"I don't wanna right now."

"Fantastic," Lucretia said. "Great reason. Keep reading."

"I don't get why people enjoy it, is all!" Magnus said. "Like, the letters keep jumping around and it hurts my brain. And all of these are non-, uhm. Fiction? Non-fiction? Or is it-"

"Non-fiction is right," Lucretia said. "Also, is it like a dyslexia jumping around thing or like a, you can't focus jumping around thing?"

"I don't know what dyslexia is," Magnus said. "The letters are just wrong."

Okay. No. Lucretia wasn't going to be reading anymore. She put her (new, very fancy) bookmark on the page she was reading and shut the book, setting it aside. Magnus had already closed his book. He looked up at her expectantly.

"Okay," Lucretia said. "Tell me about the letters."

[ceilingfan5]

thinkin about bard kravitz

“I’ve got secrets to spill, revenge to fulfill, I’m sure you expected some discretion, But you kept me awake, gave me a headache, So forgive just a bit of aggression.

But while I tried to sleep, I stayed awake, counting sheep, With no way to block out the loud moaning. It couldn’t be missed; we all heard your tryst, And now the whole town will know you were boning.

Aw, don’t be nervous, I’m doing you a service, Your wife will surely be pleased to know. The mayor fucked the cobbler, can’t hide it any longer, You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure, gotta go!!”

Kravitz strums his lute dramatically, and then appears to burst into ravens and completely disperse. The assembled crowd goes absolutely nuts, and Taako is easily able to slip away, laughing his ass off, and trail the bard’s invisible steps back to the big meaty oak tree behind the inn. 

The din of the mayor’s protests and wild accusations from the people who aren’t so happy with him fades a bit, and Taako peers up at the crunching noise coming from the tree. 

“Hail and well met,” he hollers, maybe a bit too loudly. “That was one hell of a performance.” 

“Shh-” Kravitz invisibly hushes. “Don’t let them know I’m up here!”

“That apple you’re smackin’ on didn’t do the trick, bud?” Taako snickers. “You mighta fooled everyone in town with that illusion, but I know a bit of magic when I see it.” 

“You know when to shut your mouth?” Kravitz hisses. He drops the apple core, and it falls out of invisibility as Taako sidesteps it and it bounces off the ground. 

“Categorically nah,” Taako drawls, amused with himself. “But you won’t mind, gorgeous. I’m looking for a bard. Are you looking for a job?”

“What kind of job?” Kravitz swings out of the tree and drops back into view across from Taako, and Taako sizes him up. Yeah. Perfect for the job. They’re gonna get in so much trouble. “Because I don’t do ventures where I’m the bait anymore.”

“Shame,” Taako quips, “I’ll bet you were a master baiter. Nah, what I need is a fool with some acting chops. I need to sneak into the castle, and my old party fucked off to greener pastures with softer cowpies. And it’s not the kind of thing a guy wants to put on Craig’s List.” 

Kravitz folds his arms and squints at Taako. Man, he is handsome. That definitely won’t be an issue, though, because he’s clearly some kind of stupid asshole. 

But you know, takes one to know one. 

“What sort of pay?” 

“Forty percent,” Taako says, wishing he didn’t have to. 

“Fifty-fifty.” 

“You don’t even know what we’re stealing!”

“But I know we’re stealing something, and I’m pretty loud–” 

“Fucking hells,” Taako snaps. “Fifty-five, forty-five.”

“Fifty-fifty,” Kravitz insists. “Unless, gUARDS-”

“You shut your whore mouth!” Taako hisses. “Aren’t they looking for you too?”

“Ah,” Kravitz says, putting his hands on his hips. “So true. How fast can you run?” 

Taako might have made a mistake.  

[liltaz-asatreat]

You know, I don't think they're going to add the Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom in the graphic novels.

I've been thinking about this on and off for a year now, and I think if they were ever planning on putting it into the books, they lost the opportunity by Petals to the Metal or Crystal Kingdom at the latest. It feels like they were trying to steer that way in Murder on the Rockport Limited because the boys actually did set foot in Fantasy Costco AND they did the Fantasy Gachopon (probably to try and set up the trick Taako played on Leon in the last Lunar Interlude before The Suffering Game), but iirc the sword wasn't there. Maybe they were originally planning on showing it in Petals to the Metal before they decided to do away with the Gachopon and the physical Fantasy Costco run because that's when it was actually submitted in the podcast, but because, I'm assuming, they couldn't find a concise narrative way to weave that into the story, they're probably not going to do an actual Costco run at all in the next books either, so the opportunity to trick Garfield into giving Taako the sword would be lost.

And even if they did have an opportunity to do a legit Costco run before Wonderland in the Suffering Game book, it wouldn't really make that much sense to do it there anymore. Because the whole reason why that moment and the sword itself was iconic wasn't just because of how OP the sword was, it was because they kept bringing it up every Costco run they did since it was introduced to the game and talking about how much they wanted it even though they knew there was no way they were going to be able to obtain it. Having them see the sword for the first time and having Taako immediately come up with a way to trick Garfield into handing it over and then ALSO keeping it for himself even though he has no use for it and Magnus, one of the two people who was the most vocal about wanting it from the beginning in the podcast, does, it would make it fall flat and be very anticlimactic. Because there's virtually no stakes in it.

And they could get away with not adding the sword in the books at all because in the grand scheme of things, it really... wasn't that important. There were only two times in the whole podcast where the sword actually made a difference, and only one of those times was thematically important. Like, using the sword to almost insta-kill Shadow John isn't that important because you can just exchange that for a few more rounds of regular ax slashing and magic attacks or just leaving that part of the fight cut short like he didn't have that much health or the magic attacks did more damage than they did in the podcast.

The one thematically important scene is when Taako leaves the gem with its name inscribed on it for Magnus to have it after he gets into his new body. And even then, it isn't the sword itself that's important (although seeing it in drawing of Magnus dramatically crushing the gem in his hand and then absolutely wrecking shit in the backroom of Fantasy Costco would be really fucking awesome), it's the fact that Taako gave it to him in the first place. The sword was a source of pride in his ability to be a cunning little shit and a great opportunist, and even though he claimed to not have trusted Magnus anymore after learning that Magnus was keeping some really important shit from him and Merle, he still trusted him enough and cared about him enough to let go of that bit of pride and give him a small piece of himself that he can use to protect himself and share another bond with him.

It was a really great and emotional moment that really played into his character arc, but it wouldn't hit as hard, if at all, if they depicted it in the books now because they already lost all that set up of why the sword was important to them in the first place. Without that background about how it was significant that Taako was the person to take it from Garfield and refuse to give it up after he did, the moment where he would eventually give it to Magnus becomes meaningless.

So yeah, they're probably cutting out the sword entirely and are going to find a different way to rework that scene, whether they decide to give Taako and Magnus that kind of moment or not, and honestly, while I am a bit bummed out about potentially not getting to see it, especially since the scene where Taako gets it and the scene where he leaves it for Magnus are two of my most favorite scenes in the entire podcast, it would feel a little cheap for them to try and put it in now, or rather, in the Suffering Game graphic novel and beyond

[cataztrophi]

TAZ November Celebration 6: Truth

Just a short, kind of silly one for this @taznovembercelebration ficlet! My card was "truth," so here's one about Magnus trying to lie, to the despair of actual professional liar Taako.

Taako was a champion liar. It was a skill he'd honed through years of practice and one that had saved his ass more times than he could count. He could lie unabashedly, about anything, to anyone, and he'd do it while looking them straight in the eye. He had once convinced Barold that he was both SCUBA and forklift certified. 

This deception-based superpower of his had only one weakness, and that was one of his dumbass friends opening their big mouth before he could spin his web of lies. Unfortunately, this was precisely the situation he now found himself in. 

He had been helping Magnus pick out an engagement ring, and doing–in his opinion anyway–an excellent job at keeping him somewhat sane. No, Julia wouldn't care if the stone was lab-grown. Yes, the whole ‘three-month salary' thing was made up by diamond sellers. No, Julia wasn't one of those penguins that courted each other by exchanging rocks, and she would probably say yes even if he proposed with something from Dollar Tree. 

Everything had been going rather well, all things considered, until the shop bell rang and in walked Julia herself. Her face lit up when she saw them.

“Julia!” Magnus exclaimed, completely failing to look unsuspicious. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm picking up my dad's watch for him, he sent it here to get the band fixed. What are you doing here, hon?”

Taako opened his mouth to deliver one of his trademark bulletproof cover stories, but before he could get a word out Magnus charged ahead with his own panic-fueled explanation. 

“I'm helping Taako!” he said. Not a bad start. “Pick out a gift!” Plausible, even if Magnus wasn’t too high on the list of people Taako sought jewelry advice from. “For his boyfriend!”

Ah, fuck, there it was. Rule one of crafting a believable lie: don't invent something that will invite a lot of follow-up questions. And that was exactly what Magnus had just done, as evidenced by Julia's face lighting up like a neon sign.

“You didn't tell me you were seeing anyone!” she exclaimed. 

Taako jerked his head noncommittally. “Eh, you know me, I tend to keep it pretty chill.”

“But you like this one?”

“Yeah, he's pretty great.” Well, he wasn't going to have a shitty imaginary boyfriend. 

Julia shifted her canvas grocery bag to a more comfortable position, signaling that she was prepared to discuss this for a while. “Well, what's his name?”

“Kravitz.” Hmm. He just sort of had that one ready to go, huh? That would warrant a little pondering later. Then, because he knew Julia wasn't going to be satisfied with just that, he added, “He's a cellist.”

“Wow, that's awesome! You'll have to introduce us sometime. In fact,” she laid a hand on Magnus’ arm. “We're having a little get-together on Saturday, just a few of us. I don’t want to push, I know meeting the friends can be weird, but I’d love it if you and Kravitz could come!”

“For sure,” Taako said, his control of this lie slipping with every second. “I mean, I'll have to check in with him about his work schedule, he's pretty busy right now.”

Julia nodded. “Well, I hope you can make it! Good luck with your gift shopping.” She gave Taako a smile and Magnus a peck on the cheek before walking over to the store clerk. As soon as her back was turned Taako glared at Magnus. 

“What?” Magnus mouthed with a shrug. Taako rolled his eyes and pretended to peruse the men's rings until Julia left the shop.

“So,” Magnus said once the coast was clear, a broad grin spreading across his face. “Tell me about this Kravitz guy.”

Right, Kravitz. Taako’s hot goth neighbor Kravitz. Kravitz, who really was a professional cellist, with strong hands that Taako could imagine doing all sorts of things. Kravitz, who he saw at the farmer's market sometimes, who always asked him what mushrooms to buy or which wine went best with whatever he was making. The guy he had completely normal, neighborly feelings about. 

Taako rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing to tell, my man. I had to tell her something to cover up your shitty lie.”

Magnus had the audacity to look hurt. “What was wrong with it?”

“Well, for starters, you’re making me fabricate an entire relationship in four days.”

“I mean, you could just tell her you’re busy.”

He waved this suggestion away. “No, no, I can make it work, you’re just gonna owe me for it.”

Magnus’ shit-eating grin returned, undeterred. “Okay, but you gotta let me be the best man at yours and Kravitz’s wedding.”

Taako glared at him. “That’s gonna be real hard to do from six feet under, Burnsides.”

Little though Taako felt he deserved it, he helped Magnus through the rest of the ring-choosing process. He settled on a reasonably-priced sapphire with a silver band molded into the shape of a flowering vine, and he left the store with the box clutched in one hand like he never intended to put it down. Once they climbed into his truck he stopped for a moment and turned to Taako with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face.

“Hey, I really do appreciate you doing this,” he said. “It means a lot.”

Taako shrugged. “Don’t mention it, my dude. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find out if I’m going to have to move to a new building next month.”

He took out his phone and pulled up Kravitz’s contact information, which he had spent two weeks figuring out how to get. He had been planning to use it for a leisurely flirtation that would eventually end with him figuring out that Taako was the hottest thing since Pompeii. Instead, he pulled up their chat and prepared to send a message that would either get him blocked or into a stellar fictional relationship. 

hey, so whats ur general opinion on schemes, plots, and shenanigans?