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HP Rec Fest Day 2
@hprecfest - Theme: a comfort fic
These are all fics I have read many, many times. Not only for comfort, but to have my heart wrung, to bask in the sheer fucking delight of writers who know how to use language and address the incomplete promises of characters glimpsed during their moments of plot utility. They make me happy, these stories. Oh, they hurt me along the way, of course, because I'm drawn so far in, so absorbed. I love that kind of immersion, and the pleasure of knowing a story so well. And these particular stories never lose their aesthetic thrill or the experience of the emotional journey. They're cathartic, though not flamboyantly so. I come back to them because they make me love these characters over and over again. And then I end up loving the authors, too.
Father to the Man by Delphi, Snape/Filch, 20,231 words.
I adore all of Delphi's Snape/Filch, but this is the one that gives the most comfort. It's a surgically precise, poignant, often witty, unerringly aware portrait of young Professor Snape making yet another mistake by yet again doing something he shouldn't be, thus hoicking his five-year-old self from the past into the present. That wasn't Severus' intention, and he's not happy to have this walking, talking, aggravating, bed-wetting reminder of his own abused innocence and embarrassing ignorance underfoot. Fortunately, Filch is there to save Snape from himself (literally, although he can't prevent one punishing trip to an abandoned Spinner's End). When it becomes clear the boy can't be sent back, Severus makes a decision that is both selfish and self-denying, a special kind of altruism (you'll see what I mean). And then Delphi, always scrupulous in how they weigh Snape's guilt, for once chooses hope over canon. And in a story about, among other things, forgiving oneself, that is absolutely the loveliest gift.
2. Consanguinity Arc by Jay Tryfanstone, Snarry, two short preludes and one main fic amounting to 24,351 words.
Oh, I love outsider POV, especially when the focus is my OTP. I love Muggles having to make sense of magical people, and wizards behaving like weirdos - ominous weirdos when viewed through a nonmagical lens - especially Snape and Harry, who in this fic are forced to unravel their issues in front of various captive audiences (therapist, lawyer, divorce court - all Muggle). (Imagine being Snape's solicitor!) The characterizations stand aslant to canon, which in this case makes them fascinating and adds to the sense of alienation from known things. Tryfanstone is one of those writers who can make characters and emotions spring fully to life, sparingly told but with the perfect detail. And again, wit! The courtroom scenes crackle. Snape and Harry spar, Snape and the therapist have a contest of wills (guess who wins), and the shadows of war and death and forgiveness that loom in the background build to a finish in which erotic sparks fly. This fic has one of my favorite concluding scenes in all of Snarrydom, brief but explosive, a hot, hilarious, breathtaking release.
3. Rapture by @mia-ugly, Snarry, 48,123 glorious words.
Rapture probably doesn't need a lot of introduction among Snarry readers, but it's been a beloved comfort fic of mine since it was first posted. The prose is beautiful, a cross between poetic and urgent, with spot-on humor for extra flavor (who can forget Severus' horrible aunt?). Harry time-travels at the whim of a pocket watch, unable to control it and with no ability to warn Severus of his impending fate. They meet on Severus' 25th birthday, when he's drunk and damaged and unprepared for kindness. Between one moment and the next, Harry's gone, and Severus is left to fall in love with a young man who keeps reappearing in his life without rhyme or reason and then leaving again. The story is, against all odds (it's Snarry, after all), devastatingly romantic, lyrical not only in words but in spirit, with Severus' recurring grief and angry, desperate heart on the one hand, and Harry's desire to love and save him on the other, twisting all the way through the narrative to the remarkable end, which steps outside the lines of storytelling and speaks, I think, for a lot of Snarry fans at that moment in time. I will always feel my heart being wrenched the same way it was when I first read this fic, but it's a welcome pain precisely because it's so beautiful.
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4 years after graduation wasn’t long enough for Filch to forget the silhouette of a spidery student skulking around in the dark.
I saw a post (can’t remember by whom) that said something along the line of Snape probably getting mistaken for a student by Argus Filch when he first started teaching at Hogwarts. I thought it was funny, so I put it into a drawing🌝
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When Severus got the job, it took Finch a couple years to adjust…
#digital art#procreate#fanart#harry potter#severus snape#young severus#hogwarts#severus snape art#argus filch#comics#illustration
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Headcanon
i dun like when people are mean to Filch or Mrs Norris tbh. I like to think that Filch and The Sneep were something almost like friends; as close to it as the Sneep can be, given his status as a spy. I like to think that they have a level of understanding and appreciation for each other, because they both get constantly vilified.
I imagine sometimes after a stressful week, they'd sit together and vent about how frustrating Hogwarts can be, and how annoying some students are, and Mrs Norris does her second job as a Therapy Cat for two grumpy, miserable men.
And maybe in those moments it's the closest that Snape gets to feeling a bit like a normal person with a normal, tiresome job.
people say similar things about him and McGonagall and I can certainly see it, but I dont think shes bitter enough to really get it yknow? to really empathize with his frustrations. And.. I wonder if there might be any lingering conflicting feelings from his end; appreciation for her mixed with a level of hurt for the way things were when he was a student, for the way that his tormentors were never stopped.
But Filch??? Universally disliked by all students? With Filch there wouldve been no 'soft spot' for the marauders. Hell, he may have disliked them more than the others because they were known troublemakers. and i think maybe, That small part of Snape might take comfort in that? of knowing there was at least ONE person out there who also thought they were shitty and got away with too much. One person who understands what its like to be hated, one person who thought they were all brats.
idk. it might soothe something inside him.
#severus snape#pro severus snape#mrs norris#argus filch#snape fandom#hp#snape#pro snape#professor snape#snapedom#not art#im. im trying a longer sneep thought once more!#yall have convinced me aaaaa
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harry potter and the chamber of secrets except I put filters on them
part 1
#harry potter#hp#hp fandom#harry potter fandom#harry potter and the chamber of secrets#lucius malfoy#severus snape#professor mcgonagall#minerva mcgonagall#professor sprout#pomona sprout#gilderoy lockhart#lockhart#argus filch#filch#dumbledore#albus dumbledore#my post
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Unravelling Umbridge: Part 2
In which plans are made, Luna Lovegood unwittingly gets the better of Snape, and Fred and George Weasley are about to be caught completely off guard.
(Part 1 is on my blog :)
Featuring: Madame Rosmerta, Snape's pink cheeks, two fat nifflers and McGonagall as a cat.
Disclaimer: No pairings! This is a Hogwarts Professors being chaos fic. Everything is nice and proper (as it should be).
Enjoy!
***
The Three Broomsticks were relatively empty during the dark hours of after-student curfew: after ten. The hour was half-past, fires blazed in their places and the inn was as toasty as it could be on a chilly September night. The faint babble of chatter and clinking of glass coming from the kitchen and the bar was like honey in the ears of the two teachers sitting in the corner of the inn, after a whole day of shouting and chaos in the classrooms and common rooms.
Madame Rosmerta smiled as she wove her way across to the two of them, a glass of gillywater and Ogden’s upon her tray.
“Hello, Minerva, Professor Snape,” she said, with a little wink at the latter. “What brings you here on a late Monday evening?”
Severus Snape started at the wink, then averted his eyes from the pretty lady and instead grasped his glass of whisky. Minerva McGonagall spied a very faint tinge of pink upon his cheekbones and barely kept her face under control.
“Nothing much, Rosmerta,” she replied with a faint smile. “We have some marking business to discuss. It’s a lot more peaceful here, away from the students… and I daresay not much can happen when everybody is asleep.”
Severus inclined his head a fraction as a way of contributing to the conversation.
“I won’t interrupt you then,” Rosmerta replied with an eye-roll and smile. “I’d rather not get involved with such dark business.”
“Very wise,” McGonagall replied. “Thank you, dear.”
There was a moment’s pause during which both Heads sipped their drinks and fixed their eyes on the table, as Madame Rosmerta made her way back to the bar. Snape sighed faintly.
“Your cheeks are red,” Minerva said, not looking up. Severus didn’t retort, though he had to clear his throat quite thoroughly after swallowing.
“A lot of things can happen when everybody’s asleep, professor,” he replied stonily once he regained his breath. “Let’s talk quickly and return.”
Minerva put down her glass and folded her hands, placing her head upon them. “Let us do that. You are aware, perhaps, that Dolores is fond of cats?”
Severus’ eyes were directed to her as he swallowed his Ogden’s and stayed there as he put his glass down.
“Cats.”
McGonagall smiled at his baffled tone and expression - the latter was a very peculiar one, for his eyebrows always formed a low, straight line and his eyes narrowed along with his mouth, so he looked as though he had just swallowed an amphibian - and inclined her head, her glasses flashing peculiarly in the light of the candles above them.
“Indeed. She’s really fond of kittens. Have you been in her office, yet?”
He scoffed. “I am yet to experience that pleasure.”
“Oh, you’ll absolutely love it,” she said, recalling her own disgust after she had set foot in it after an invitation. She had almost been surprised that her clothes hadn’t turned pink from exposure. “But all in good time.”
She pulled out the piece of parchment she had drawn up in her office and splayed it out onto the table. Snape leaned over, studied it, then turned his eyes onto her.
“This is just a print of a cat,” he observed, doubt and severe judgement lining his tone.
“That’s right.”
He studied his older counterpart for a few moments longer, but when she gave no answer, he grimaced. “Would you care to enlighten me, Professor?”
“With pleasure,” McGonagall replied, unmistakably smiling now. “You see, Severus… Dolores is fond of cats.”
“Yes, that we have already established.”
“And I, Professor Snape, am an animagus. More precisely…”
She ran a weathered finger over the rim of her glass, her grey eyes flashing with something which made Severus slightly uncomfortable. He had seen this gleam in the eyes of Gryffindor students fairly often when they were intent on acting up in his lessons; it usually meant they were about to toss things across the classroom into one another’s cauldrons, or something that was equally insipid.
“...I am perfectly capable of turning into a cat at leisure.”
Severus Snape’s face did not change, but as he reached for his whisky, his eyebrows crept upwards onto their highest step. The two Heads stared at one another for one long moment, both their eyes now gleaming, after which Severus put down his glass and inclined his head, slightly begrudgingly.
“I must admit that you, Minerva, are full of surprises.”
“My.” She chuckled. “Was that a compliment?”
“I’m disgusted with myself too.”
“A compliment,” she repeated. “From you?”
Severus looked at her long and hard, then shrugged. “You sound astonished. As though I rarely give out compliments, professor. I will have you know that nobody is as generous in their bestowment as I am.”
Minerva humphed, then rolled the parchment up and carefully set it on fire.
“I should give Slytherin a few points just for the sake of it,” she murmured, tilting the parchment with her wand, as it disintegrated above the table. “Perhaps one or two.”
Snape didn’t look impressed, but something of a smile still lingered on his features.
“I am no longer an adolescent, professor.”
“Nonsense. Unfortunately for you…” McGonagall made a little sound of satisfaction as the rest of the parchment vanished, then turned back to him. “You’ll never be a day over fifteen, for this old crone.”
Severus watched this old crone wriggle on her chair for half a second before emptying her glass, revealing as much excitement as her own stiff person perhaps would ever allow itself to, then returned to his usual stony expression after a moment and scoffed.
“I would hate to be in your place, professor,” he said, imagining short, square, flabby fingers with pink nails before him, magnified from a feline’s perspective. “Though, tell me, what exactly do you plan on doing when you enter that disgusting hellscape of magenta and primrose?” He spat out the last three words. “Are you really going to let that woman cluck and coo at you, perhaps even scratch you behind the ears?”
His lips curled upwards and black eyes began to glint.
“I suppose that would be quite a poke at your dignity. The Head of Gryffindor in such a precarious position? Hm. I reckon you would be giving her a piece of your mind with your steel claws before you could stop yourself, but then the whole plan would be ruined.”
“You would be right.” McGonagall sniffed, no longer liking this turn of events. “Yet I am willing to put it to the side for the greater good, Severus.”
She sent him a pointed glance from behind her spectacles. He rolled his eyes and finished his drink.
“It is a very good idea,” he admitted, placing the glass down with a thunk. “I assume it is to gather more information than we are aware about. Perhaps she hides some strange letters of correspondence in her desk, or something equally vile.”
“Not my thoughts exactly, but whilst I am there, it would not do any harm to sniff around.”
Minerva placed her glass in the middle of the table, neatly. “However, it will not happen straight away, perhaps not even this week. The first few are always the most chaotic. Let us wait until everybody settles down, back into routine… or as much into routine as it can be, with the changes our subject of discussion has so boldly introduced this new order of things… before disturbing it”
They stood; Severus drew a finger over the surface of the table, then turned to Minerva.
“I expect to be informed as soon as you make your first venture, professor.”
“You will be the first,” she replied, as they made their way out of the inn, “and probably the only person who I will inform about this. Stay sharp. And Severus,” she added, looking back at him. “If you are so interested, why don’t you tell Rosmerta directly, instead of being so pathetically discreet? It’s incensing.”
Snape scoffed and averted his eyes from the white smile flashing from over by the bar, surrounded by a cloud of blonde curls, hastily.
“Don’t make me laugh, professor,” he muttered. “Interested. As if.”
Then he stepped past her and stormed out of the inn with his fists clenched and his dark cloak billowing.
*
And so the wait began, though nobody who observed the Potions Master would have thought that he was waiting for anything, for his masks of indifference were so close to perfect that everybody was convinced that Severus Snape was simply living his best life, or at least as close as it could get to that in present circumstances.
In fact, the Head of Slytherin and the Head of Gryffindor hardly spoke to one another at all that week, though they sat next to one another during meals to oversee the miserable silence in which meals were now spent. Both, however, had the pleasure of not sharing the company of Dolores Umbridge directly, who had taken to sitting next to Dumbledore and bestowing her little observations and ‘hem hems’ onto him. Since Albus was so polite as to never reveal what (as everybody was convinced) he really thought of her presence, he was the one who was suffering at large, running his fingers through his beard, his eyes rather solemn behind his half-moon spectacles though his mouth was always politely smiling and baffling Frog Pinky with stories - which most of the staff had heard before and chuckled at, since they were always told with that in mind - which verged on nonsensical.
Sometimes during these meals, Snape would glance at his colleague, who would return his glance without as much as an inclination of her head, and he would understand that it was yet to happen. He didn’t complain, nor grow more impatient, for he had far too much to do in his own time and his temper was put to the test on many occasions anyway, especially when teaching the fifth years, since Potter and his hilarious camaraderie didn’t have any less nonsense in their heads and twice the usual vigour to bring it into his life this year.
None of that put him on edge in the sense that he dreaded, however. Since Severus operated mainly on logic and common sense, he knew there was no way that anybody but his house rival knew of their conspiracy, and so he had no reason to be - and was not - nervous. Nor was he expecting any sort of confrontation with the amphibious, bureaucracy-hailing blob of magenta which terrorised students with greater ease than he did, regardless of the fact that he was almost double her height.
Confrontation did not come, but eavesdropping did, though it was entirely unintentional. Severus was returning from the staff room after lunch break when upon turning the corner and a suit of armour to where the DADA office stood, he encountered the despised Miss Bufotes-Roseaus at her office door, deep in conversation with Argus Filch.
“I’m telling you, Mr Filch, it was a very pretty little cat, grey, with little black markings on its face. I’m sure you must have seen it before… you do have such a sweet little creature yourself.”
Severus stopped, then receded back behind the corner, into its shadows, and hid behind the suit of armour. From this position, he was almost impossible to see, for there were few windows on this corridor and his clothes were as black as the shadows sticking to the walls, so logic dictated that he ought to listen and collect as much information as possible for the good of the Slytherin-Gryffindor truce, before making his way back. He watched Filch shaking his balding, old head.
“Can’t say I’ve seen it before, professor, but that wouldn’t be the first time Hogwarts has attracted such creatures. I’ve shooed many away on such an occasion myself… my cat is allergic to others of its species, I’m afraid.”
“Well, please be sure to let this one walk around as it pleases, Mr Filch,” Umbridge said with a nod. “I think it’s taken quite a liking to me, and I’ve come to be fond of it myself.”
Severus hardly restrained himself from snorting aloud, though his lip did twitch at the image brought before him of this woman cooing over a po-faced, stiff-backed Minerva-the-cat. He owed his colleague for making him laugh, he thought - it wasn’t a common occurrence and he prized it. But then the conversation turned, and they began to speak of something different, something which had rather the opposite effect on him.
“Tell me, Mr Filch,” Toadus Pinkus began in her sickening sing-song. “What do you think of the professors here?”
Filch pushed out his lips as he thought. “That depends upon what grounds.”
“Why, teaching, of course!” came the reply. “And their beliefs. Those are important qualities, the most important qualities a professor can have. After all, they unknowingly bestow their views and upbringing upon the ones who they teach, and in a world as this one…”
“I see, I see,” Filch said, frowning as he searched in that knock-hollow head he carried on his dowager-humped shoulders. “I suppose most of them are quite good, Professor Umbridge.”
“Hm. Have you ever partook in any recent Care of Magical Creatures lessons, Mr Filch?”
Snape didn’t quite know why, but his fist tightened into the fold of his robes where was currently holding them. Filch nodded.
“I have, actually. I myself have helped with amassing some creatures Mr Hagrid had gotten ready for the lessons.”
“And are they fully approvable? The lessons?”
Filch hesitated. Severus could almost see his little brain working. Umbridge filled the care-taker in.
“They follow the Ministry curriculum? Does he communicate on an acceptable standard?”
Filch frowned; Severus felt his temper rising up like fiery bile from his lungs and into his head.
“Why, I suppose he does…” Filch scratched his chin. “I’m hardly ever there, really. I couldn’t really tell you, professor. You’ll have to see for yourself.”
“A good idea, Mr Filch.” Severus could see the toad smile, as she adjusted the pink bows stuck to the side of her head. “Your domain is mainly the castle corridors, I assume?”
“That’s right.”
“So you know how the other professors do, I suppose.”
“I’ve seen this and that.”
“What about… hm, the dark, unpleasant-looking man. Severus Snape, I believe his name was. Thin, with a crooked nose, surly expression?”
Snape barely repressed a scoff. They could laugh at him if they wished to, he thought, for he was immune to such abominable slighting and often did some of his own in his head, though his slighting was directed at others too.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him, Professor Umbridge,” Filch waved his hand with a snort. “The students get on quite alright in his lessons, that’s without a doubt. In fact, I often find myself wishing other teachers would take a leaf out of his book.”
“Hm. Indeed,” Umbridge hummed again. “And the old woman?”
Severus felt the veins in his neck begin to grow hot. He held his breath, expecting more. Filch frowned again.
“Old woman?”
“Yes. I believe McGonagall was her name.”
“Oh!” Filch nodded, then lowered his voice and flicked his eyes around the corridor nervously. “I cannot complain about Professor McGonagall! She’s taught at Hogwarts long before I walked its halls, professor, and from what I’ve seen she has not a single fault in her teaching. A very good witch. Doesn’t quite believe in punishing students as they ought to be, however. A shame, if you ask me.”
“Indeed,” Umbridge pursed her thick lips. “It seems to me that she’s a little too above herself.”
Ha, Severus thought, not even realising he was running his fingers along the smooth material of his wand in his sleeve, does she now.
Filch merely inclined his head at this, but kept silent.
“As though she owns the place,” Umbridge continued. “Perhaps she fancies herself the Headmistress, one day. Quite a prolonged goal, if that’s the case… she must be almost at the end of her life, and she’s spent most of it here, from what I’ve heard… She doesn’t have long to realise it.”
Severus slowly drew out his wand.
“Why, she has,” Filch said.
“A rather sad one… but, that’s simply how life is. It’s not fair, as we both know, Mr Filch, life. Some people amount to greatness, some people…” She sighed, looking pitifully at probably an invisible McGonagall beside them. “Well, they contribute something to the world, but nothing of significance.”
Severus’ hand didn’t tremble as he lifted it, as he saw black and red, his lungs constricted, fire in his veins, pointing the tip of his wand at Umbridge. Fury only increased precision and potency in his spells.
“Some people are simply good enough to be turned into dust,” he found himself murmuring as he took a step back, readying himself, “and that’s the best thing they can hope to amount to… as do the people around them.”
He was about to flick his wrist; just about to hiss out something uncontrollable in the pit of his mind and step back, when something rustled behind him and he froze, shooting a look over his shoulder, his heart stumbling in its thudding plunge from fury to shock.
Two unnaturally-huge, silvery-blue eyes stared up at him, standing a mere two steps away from where he hid. Severus recognised this student; he would be a fool not to, for she stood out with her crazy ornaments, jewellery and distinct bolt-crazy habits. At present, she was clutching a stack of magazines with a pair of strange goggles on her forehead which pressed down her platinum-blonde locks and she was looking at him without a hint of trepidation or concern in her expression.
“Please carry on, professor,” Luna Lovegood murmured dreamily. “I just wanted to watch.”
Severus would have never admitted it, but he felt a strange shudder roll through him which pulled at his nerves. He was uneasy; only for a few moments, however.
He stepped out from behind the suit of armour and retreated back around the corner to where Lovegood stood, leaving the gossiping pair at Umbridge’s door, then sucked in a breath, felt his temper restart, shoved his wand up his sleeve and made motion with his head for her to follow him.
When they got a safe distance away, he stopped his march and rounded on her. The only trouble was, now that he had been caught about to hex another colleague, he didn’t quite know what he should shout at her. But he didn’t need to. She spoke first.
“She’s an awful creature, isn’t she, professor?” Luna Lovegood adjusted her grip on the stack of magazines she was holding - most of them were upside down - and blinked once. “To be truthful, I wish you’d had done it. Please don’t worry about me telling anybody. I would have done it myself, if I could.”
Snape unfastened his jaw, still quite at a loss for words. “Would you, now.”
“Yes. She reminds me of a doxy. Quite a large and fat one, but a doxy regardless.”
He paused, actually snorted in amusement, feeling his muscles protest at the unnatural action of grinning, then regained himself and looked at Lovegood long and hard. After a moment, he just flicked his head towards the other end of the corridor and folded his arms.
“Go,” he said. “Before I take any points off for skulking about the castle.”
She nodded, not taking her unblinking eyes off him for a moment, gave him a little bow, then turned and walked off calmly to her destination.
Snape watched her, perplexed, then remembered what he had heard upstairs and clenched his fists. Nothing he could do now, however, would do anybody any good, so he simply turned on his heel and swept off to his classroom before anything else made him explode again.
*
It was on a grey Thursday afternoon - three days after the incident with Luna Lovegood - that Severus, whilst rubbing at his temples and muttering darkly under his breath, still smelling the smoke which had coated the surface of his classroom after a particular accident, found that his waiting had come to an end. Minerva finally nudged the topic which had bubbled on his mind and reminded him of the days in which he had tossed a dungbomb into Sirius Black’s bag - the latter hadn’t noticed until it went off halfway down the corridor and Severus hadn’t forgotten the surge of delight which had took hold of his chest for two days after and whenever he had recalled it.
McGonagall matched his step on the way to the staff room so silently and without announcement that he had glanced to his left and ended up flinching when he spotted her black hat, balanced upon her head at its usual degree.
“You look like you’ve swallowed an eel,” the elderly witch observed, as he scowled and grimaced at the way his heart thudded against his will.
“I feel as though I’ve swallowed an eel,” Severus muttered, shooting out a sigh through his nostrils. “And I will go as far as to swallow a poisonous one if you comment on any house points, crying students, my expression, or whatever it is I smell like. I’ve had it up to here with everything today, and I’m unwilling to make any exceptions, whether it be to my elders or betters or whatnot.”
Minerva’s lip twitched.
“Oh, please,” she said once he had finished grouching. “You must realise that you say that every other day. So many times, in fact, that your threats are no longer imposing. But don’t worry Severus, I wasn’t going to, for I have many more important matters to discuss with you before the day is out.”
They glanced at one another, one gaze amused, one perplexed, then made a synchronised U-turn in the middle of the corridor and began to sweep their way in the opposite direction.
“I won’t keep you waiting,” Minerva said, glancing up at him from behind her steely spectacles. “From what I have observed, there’s nothing we, as teachers, can do.”
Snape graced her with a cool glance.
“You have kept me waiting for two weeks after dragging me to suffer at Rosmerta’s just to tell me that there’s nothing we can do?”
She blinked at him with raised eyebrows, then sighed.
“I’m sorry you were so excited about it, Severus. It’s just that I don’t think we ought to stoop so low as to jinx or hex her in the corridors. That’s something that first-years do to one another. We are adults.”
Severus remembered his precarious hiding place behind the suit of armour and his murderous thoughts and intentions and said nothing.
“In short, there’s nothing we can do without blowing everything over.”
They passed through the main entrance, out onto the school grounds. It was a clear day, as warm as though it was still remembering summer, and mostly silent leave rustling and the far-away barking of the Game Keeper’s dog. Severus drew his cloak about him out of habit, scowling at the sky as Minerva walked along with him, her eyes darting here and there to detect anything unusual, also out of habit.
“Perhaps it is for the better,” she said, after they had made their way out onto the Quidditch pitches. “We are, after all, adults. Well, at least one of us is.”
Severus harrumphed in response. Minerva’s lip twitched.
“So you also think it is better to call this off?”
“No,” came the short answer, surprising her. “Conspiracy has become the highlight of my life and I refuse to give it up so easily.”
McGonagall’s eyebrows were raised again as she directed a look at him.
“Conspiracy? Nonsense.” She scoffed. “Conspiracy indeed. It is vengeance you want.”
“And I am not alone in wanting it,” he snapped. “You’ve been just as petty as I have in the roseau regard. Perhaps more.”
“Be that as it may, vengeance is something to frown upon.”
“Ha,” he scoffed. “That depends on the circumstances-”
“Wait, hush.”
They stopped. Minerva frowned; Severus turned.
“It looks like somebody is out,” he muttered after a pause, his eyes turned upwards. “I just wonder where…”
They both noticed ‘where’ at the same moment. Both had the wits about them to keep silent, though both also were stunned into looking sillier than both of them would have wanted.
Fred Weasley was leaning out of the top battlement, his wand out, looking very gleeful as he hovered down a niffler down to a particular window, about three stories below him. A few metres to his left, George Weasley was hovering down another; both creatures were strangely calm as they spun on different axis, as though they knew full well what was about to happen and were fully anticipating it.
McGonagall regained her voice, though it came out rather unsteady. “Merlin’s beard.”
Severus had shut his mouth by now and was observing the two devils with interest, his hands folded behind his back.
“It appears that that window,” he murmured after a moment, “is our most esteemed Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher’s.”
His voice made him sound almost impressed and was quite serene, though his counterpart was neither of those things one bit.
“But they’re on the battlements,” she said in a slightly strangled voice. “Merlin’s beard, they’re inches from slipping-!”
She started forward after inhaling a swift breath, probably to speak her mind very thoroughly about what she thought about them being so insipidly dim-witted, but Severus stuck out an arm to stop her. She looked at him as though he was mad. He certainly had a strange glint in his eyes. Even the corners of his mouth were turned up.
“There’s no way we can do this without blowing it, you say, professor?”
Minerva’s severely judgemental look grew about ten times denser.
“Heavens above, you are mad.”
“I am not,” he said gently, then pointed above him neatly. “But they most certainly are.”
Minerva looked up just in time to see the two fat nifflers roll through the open window, the Weasley twins shoot one another looks of pure pleasure, rub their hands, and their flaming heads disappear after ducking down. It was followed very closely by a sound as though somebody had smashed a glass jewellery box and a couple of dinner plates onto a stone floor, followed by an indignant meow.
There was a pause in which Snape and McGonagall looked at one another. Then, without a word, they both turned neatly on their heels and made their way back to the castle, with varying degrees of satisfaction and resolution upon their faces.
#snape#minerva#severus snape#minerva mcgonagall#snape and mcgonagall#hogwarts chaos#hp fanfic#snape fandom#harry potter#fred weasley#weasley twins#luna lovegood#umbridge#filch#three broomsticks#harry potter au#incorrect quotes#harry potter fanfiction#part 2#no romance#order of the phoenix
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Muggleborn video game modders making hogwarts packs with inside jokes for each other to enjoy.
Cooking Mama but it’s Severus Snape and he teaches you how to “brew fame, put a stopper to death, bottle luck” and even more nonsensical claims. He doesn’t give outright praise but you’ll see “adequate” or “acceptable” and his face will be less pinched.
Pokémon but it’s Hagrid and he RAMBLES. There’s a second pack that emphasizes his accent.
Minecraft with magic creature mobs and enderman is Quirrel.
Slenderman but it’s Voldemort and you’re in the Forbidden Forest and the rest of the Hogwarts grounds. There is also a pack with McGonagall as slenderman which is somehow infinitely more scary because they spent so much time and effort into her expressions.
FNAF but it’s the prefects/professors and Filch. They randomly change who you get each night.
There’s a Stardew Valley mod pack with all the professors and a secret second pack where they’re all Severus except one of them is actually Snape and the rest are polyjuiced as Snape. You can’t romance anybody unless you expose the fakes.
Plants vs. Zombies but it’s Sprouts greenhouses and the zombies are NEWTS students.
The SIMS packs are the craziest though. No one talks about the SIMS packs, but if you want access, just ask around and someone will get you a link.
#harry potter thoughts#harry potter imagine#hp imagine#harry potter#harry potter rant#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#harry potter drabble#harry potter fandom#rubeus hagrid#pro severus#severus snape imagine#pro severus snape#severus snape#professor snape#professor sprout#voldemort#minerva mcgonagall#argus filch#quirrel#muggle things#muggleborn
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Snape’s friendliness with Filch always gave me the same vibe as the narc kid from Recess
#Harry Potter#severus snape#argus filch#That’s kind of how I imagine him as an adolescent#This is why everyone wanted to punch him
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Whispers in the Castle
While trying to escape from Dudley and his gang, nine-year-old Harry Apparates himself to Hogwarts instead of the roof of his school. Thrilled by his magical surroundings and the lack of vindictive Dursleys, Harry decides to blend in amongst the students so he can stay in the castle forever.
Meanwhile, Severus tries to make sense of a new, tiny first-year whose name he can't quite place.
Language: English Words: 38,925 Chapters: 11/11 Collections: 1 Comments: 91 Kudos: 886 Bookmarks: 180 Hits: 7,823
Harry Potter & Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Pre-Hogwarts, Harry is nine, Severus Snape is So Done, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Christmas, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Severitus Big Bang 2024
#Harry Potter & Severus Snape#Harry Potter#Severus Snape#Fred Weasley#potions#argus filch#albus dumbledore#madam pince#books and libraries#harry potter fanfic#archive of our own#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#magic#spells#george weasley#pre hogwarts#christmas#accidental magic
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Snape: "How can you like Filch and his mangy cat?"
Llewellyn: "Mrs. Norris is not mangy! She has very nice fur. And have you ever asked yourself how can I like you?"
> a mangy stinky dog himself
#art#drawing#fan art#harry potter oc#harry potter#harry potter fan art#severus snape#the marauders#argus filch#mrs norris
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Chapter 27
Warnings: Mentions of nudity
Copyright: I do not own any Wizarding World characters that J.K. Rowling wrote. I do however own Elizabeth Kane (main character) and Trang Nyguen (best friend). There should be no use of these two names without my permission. I also do not condone any copying of this.
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------------------By Order of-----------------
The Ministry of Magic Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry . The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-nine. Signed: Cornelius Oswald Fudge MINISTER OF MAGIC
This was an insulting decree of course considering that Professor McGonagall- as deputy Headmistress- should have taken over.
"Dumbledore will be back before long." Ernie said as Ernie, Hannah, Susan, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and I were walking from Herbology. Harry had been recounting the story from his point of view which was a bit more descriptive than mine had been. I'd never been good with details. "They couldn't keep him away in our second year and they won't be able to to this time. The Fat Friar told me that Umbridge tried to get back into his office last night after they'd searched the castle and grounds for him. Couldn't get past the gargoyle. The Head's office has sealed itself against her. Apparently she had a right little tantrum. . ."
I laughed out loud. "Amazing!"
"Oh, I expect she really fancied herself sitting up there in the Head's office. Lording it over all the other teachers, the stupid puffed-up, power-crazy old-"
"Now, do you really want to finish that sentence, Granger?" Malfoy asked. "Afraid I'm going to have to dock a few points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff." He drawled out, looking maliciously at me.
"It's only teachers that can dock points from Houses, Malfoy." Hermione said.
"Yeah, we're prefects too, remember?" Ron snarled.
"I know prefects can't dock points, Weasel King, but members of the Inquisitional Squad-"
"The what?" Hermione asked darkly.
"The Inquisitional Squad, Granger." Draco pointed to a second badge that was underneath his prefect one. It was silver with the letter I on it. "A select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad do have the power to dock points. . . So, Granger, I'll have five from you for being rude about our new headmistress, five for contradicting me as well. . . Five because I don't like you Potter. . . Weasley, your shirt's untucked, so I'll have another five for that. . . Macmillan, five for talking about our headmistress as well. . . oh yeah, I forgot, you're a Mudblood Granger, so ten for that. . . and Kane, your not expelled and your a werewolf brat so 15 points for that." He ignored Susan and Hannah whom he didn't seem to be able to find a punishment for.
Ron pulled out his wand, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering, "Don't!"
"Wise move, Granger. New Head, new times. . . Be good now, Potty. . . Weasel King. . ." Draco said and moved away with Crabbe and Goyle following him.
I snorted, "'Select group of students'. They're probably all Death Eaters."
"He was bluffing." Harry said, "He can't be allowed to dock points."
"It would completely undermine the prefect system." I agreed, "But look. . ." I pointed to where the house points were. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had been tied for second this morning, Hufflepuff in first. Now, Hufflepuff had dropped to second, Ravenclaw in first, and Gryffindor in third.
"Noticed, have you?" Fred's voice said. We all looked over at him.
"Malfoy just docked us all about fifty points!" Harry said furiously.
"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break." George said.
"What do you mean, 'tried'?" Ron asked quickly.
"He never managed to get all the words out due to the fact that we forced him headfirst into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor." Fred said and I laughed.
"But you'll get into terrible trouble!" Hermione gasped.
"Not until Montague reappears, and that could take weeks, I dunno where we sent him. . ." Fred said coolly. "Anyway. . . we've decided we don't care about getting into trouble anymore."
"Have you ever?" I asked with a grin.
"Course we have." George said. "Never been expelled, have we?"
"Good point." I muttered.
"We've always known where to draw the line." Fred agreed.
"We might have put a toe across it occasionally." George corrected.
"But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem." Fred continued.
"But now?" Ron asked.
"Well now-" George said.
"- what with Dumbledore gone-" Fred continued.
"-we reckon a bit of mayhem-"
"- is exactly what our dear new Head deserves."
"You mustn't! You really mustn't! She'd love a reason to expel you." Hermione whispered, looking around.
"You don't get it, Hermione, do you? We don't care about staying anymore. We'd walk out right now if we weren't determined to do our bit for Dumbledore first. So anyway, phase one is about to begin. I'd get in the Great Hall for lunch if I were you, that way the teachers will see you can't have had anything to do with it." Fred said, smiling around at all of us.
"Anything to do with what?" Hermione asked anxiously.
"You'll see, run along now." George said.
He and Fred turned to walk away. I hesitated and then ran after them and called, "Fred!"
Fred turned and I said, "It's going to go great!"
Then I turned and ran back into the Great Hall. I sat down at the Gryffindor table and to my surprise, Susan and Hannah sat down with us. I saw Filch was taking Harry with him. "Where's Ernie?" I asked.
"He went to the library to do transfiguration homework." Susan said. "I think he wants to be as far away from whatever the Weasley twins are going to do."
"What are they going to do?" Hermione asked nervously.
I grinned mischievously. "Why would I spoil the surprise?"
We quickly bolted down lunch and then, there was a large BOOM. Many students in the Great Hall looked around but Hermione, Ron, Susan, Hannah, and I all jumped to our feet and sprinted out the door. I led them to the first floor and we stared in amazement. It was much better than the visions.
There were Dragons that were made up of green-and-gold sparks, flying up and down the corridors emitting fiery blasts. There were pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameters, whizzing around the corridors like saw blades. Rockets were bouncing off walls and sparklers were writing swearwords in midair. Firecrackers were sounding like mine explosions. Every so often, a firework raced after a student and they would run, screaming their heads off.
Umbridge showed up a moment later along with Filch and then Harry appeared behind her too. There were a handful of students that were observing the fireworks and I noted that some of them were escaping out into the rest of the rest of the school.
"Hurry, Filch, hurry! They'll be all over the school unless we do something- Stupefy!" Umbridge shouted as the dragons started down the door she'd just come through.
A jet of red light shot toward a firework which exploded with a much larger force, shaking dust from the ceiling.
"Don't stun them, Filch!" Umbridge shouted angrily as though Filch was the one who'd made the suggestion.
"Right you are, Headmistress!" Filch said and grabbed a broom to swat at them. The broom head caught on fire. Ron was roaring with laughter and even Hermione looked pleased.
"Try vanishing them!" I shouted towards Umbridge and then ducked behind a column. I supposed she tried just that because the fireworks suddenly multiplied by ten. "Come on." I said to the others. "We're going to be late for class."
We hurried away to our separate classes. We rushed into potions, nearly two minutes late. Professor Snape looked up as did the other students.
I sat down in my seat. Suddenly however, a bunch of firecrackers came hopping into the room, exploding. The students looked at Professor Snape, wondering how'd he react and also trying to keep their eyes on the firecrackers so they didn't explode near them.
"Right!" Professor Snape shouted over the bangs, "Firecrackers and Potions don't mix. Class dismissed."
The entire class rushed from the room as a firecracker exploded against a cauldron. I dove to the floor so that I didn't get in the way of the explosion. I felt Severus hands helping me to my feet and dragging me over to where his office was.
"And now-" He said, hungrily against my throat. "We have about an hour and a half together."
"Good." I murmured as he started unbuttoning the front of my shirt, his mouth moving from my lips to my neck. We didn't even make it to the bed.
Umbridge spent the entire day, running around to the summons of the other teachers who didn't seem to be able to get rid of the fireworks alone. And considering the fireworks were making such a distraction, it was hilarious that none of the teachers seemed to care about them.
Professor McGonagall for instance watched a dragon firework fly around her classroom and then said sardonically, "Dear, dear. Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I were walking up to Gryffindor Tower when we watched a tottering, sweaty-faced Professor Umbridge come out of Professor Flitwick's office.
"Thank you so much, Professor! I could have gotten rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority..." he said in his squeaky voice, and beaming, he slammed the door in her face. We quickly hurried passed her and then burst into laughter as we neared the portrait.
I congratulated Fred and George on their fireworks and wrote my name down on an order sheet and gave them 20 galleons for my order. I knew one day I was going to use it and it would be worth it.
Since I knew Umbridge was going to be exhausted from the long day, I headed back to Severus' office. He was already laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and he smiled warmly when he saw me. "Couldn't get enough this afternoon?" He asked, jokingly.
I blushed, locking the door behind me on instinct. "I just wanted to spend the night with you." I climbed into bed and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.
I was dreaming about walking down a corridor, a plain black door at the end. I reached the door, opening it and stepped inside. I was now in a circular room lined with doors and I walked towards the one in front of me. It opened too. I was in a long, rectangular room full of an odd, mechanical clicking and there were dancing lights on the walls. There was another door at the end of this room too.
"Wake up!" A worried voice said. I bolted straight up. Severus had shaken me awake again. I felt pale and clammy and my clothes were sticking to me.
I gasped for breath and swung my legs out of the bed, standing up. I felt disgusting and I needed a shower.
"Are you alright?" He asked, still sitting on the bed.
"No." I protested, my cheeks going red. "I feel disgusting. I need to go take a shower."
He sighed, pulling me into his arms again. "The shower can wait for a few more hours."
"What time is it?" I asked, looking around for a clock.
"3:43." He whispered.
"At least let me change clothes." I mumbled back. "I feel disgusting in these sweaty clothes."
He let me up and I tore them off, still feeling clammy and sweaty. How embarrassing! It was just my luck that it had happened tonight! Severus was tapping the bed with his wand and then stood up, coming over to me and tapped me with his wand too. I immediately felt better, much cooler.
"You don't need clothes." He whispered and I laid back down in the bed. The sheets and comforter were much, much cooler. It felt so much better and I laid my head on his chest like a pillow.
"Thank you." I mumbled, holding myself to him for comfort. One of his hands wrapped around my waist, holding me to him.
"Anything for you." he said softly, stroking my hair and that was the last thing that I felt.
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𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝕴 𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙 back the next night, he was absolutely livid. His face was white, his lips pulled back thin as Professor McGonagall's. I froze. "Er-" I racked my brain and then realized that Harry would have been here tonight. What had happened?
I tried to concentrate on the future and then found what I was looking for. So, tonight Harry had gone into the pensieve. Oh dear. I looked further into the memory and was able to see what he had seen. It was a memory of Snape as a boy. And Wormtail and Sirius were there too. Sirius was extremely handsome. Lupin and Dad were there too. I watched the memory through Harry's eyes as James flipped Severus upside down. And mum had come too, yelling at James to let him down, asking what Severus had ever done to him. All because Sirius had said he was bored. And Dad- Lupin- just sitting there under the tree, reading a book. And Severus calling mum a Mud-blood.
"Elizabeth?"
I looked up at Severus. I didn't know how long I'd been standing in the doorway but I realized that there were tears falling from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away, turning from him.
"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" He asked, turning me back to face him.
"I- I saw what Harry saw." I said reluctantly, watching his face turn white again. "The scene by the lake with dad and mum and Lupin. . . I. . . you were always right. . . dad was always arrogant. . ."
I felt horrible and I wished I'd never looked into that future bit. I sat down in the chair, looking at the floor. "And then Lupin was just sitting there. . . doing nothing. . . and I. . ."
Severus didn't say or do anything. He just watched me struggle, trying to accept the reality that my parents weren't. . . mum had been decent. How could dad have just sat there though? How could James have done that, just because Sirius was bored?
Finally, Severus sighed and then said, "That wasn't the only memory he saw."
I looked up, frowning, wiping the tears away. "But that was the only one-"
"Because he saw a memory about me and you." Severus said reluctantly now.
I froze. "Oh no."
Severus still looked extremely angry. "He didn't see much of it. . . though. . ."
I put my face in my hands. I'd been hoping for a nice night and now. . . well who knew what was going to happen now. "I'm gonna. . . I'm gonna go to bed, I think." I said weakly, standing up. Severus grabbed my arm.
"I'm sorry." he pleaded. "I don't want you to be-"
"I'm not mad at you or anything." I said softly, touching his hand. "I just. . . I didn't want you to be right about my dad. . . that's all. . . and I think I need to be alone to cope with that fact. . ."
I turned around and I walked back out of the room, leaving him behind, and headed to the Hufflepuff common room. I laid down on my bed for a long time, thinking.
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𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 talk to Harry. I wanted to converse about our parents and I couldn't. Every time I opened my mouth to tell him I was his sister, my throat closed up and I ended up saying something else. So I assumed now wasn't the right time to tell him.
Harry and I did, however, talk about the second vision- the one of Severus and me.
"He wouldn't tell me what you saw." I said, partially honest. "What'd you see?"
"Er- you two were just kissing really. I mean, it was weird to watch, obviously. It was at Grimmauld place." Harry said awkwardly.
I was much relieved to hear this. "Sorry you had to see that." I muttered. Then we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
But he was distracted too. I knew he was thinking about the other vision too. I overheard him muttering to himself the words, ". . .force her to marry him?"
I hated the idea that Dad might've forced mum to marry him. I didn't think that was it but at the same time. . .
But I had the memory from the dementors. Lily had been scared that James was going to die. So something must've happened so that they fell in love, right? And Severus had called her a Mudblood even though he loved her. . .
I groaned, slamming my head down on my book.
"You alright Eliza?" Ginny asked. I looked up, not having noticed her at first.
"No." I muttered.
"Harry, I'm talking to you, can you hear me?" Ginny asked, snapping her fingers under Harry's nose. Harry was sitting next to me? I'd definitely been lost in thought.
"Huh? Oh, hi."
"A package just arrived, it's only just got through Umbridge's new screening process. . ." Ginny said. She hoisted a brown box up on the table. A red note was scribbled across the top that said INSPECTED AND PASSED BY THE HOGWARTS HIGH INQUISTOR. "It's Easter eggs from Mum. There's one for you. . . there you go. . ." Ginny said, handing him a chocolate egg decorated with small iced snitches. She handed me over a milk chocolate egg with iced chicks on them. Apparently it contained sour gummy worms inside of it.
"Are you okay, Harry?" Ginny asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine." Harry said gruffly.
"You seem really down lately. You know, I'm sure if you just talked to Cho. . ." Ginny said.
"It's not Cho I want to talk to." Harry said and I nodded unconsciously.
"Who is it, then?" Ginny asked.
"I. . ."
"Dad." I whispered. "I want to talk to dad."
"Sirius." Harry said, putting a piece of chocolate in his mouth. I put a piece in my mouth too and felt better. Dad was right, chocolate was a healing agent.
"Well, If you really want to talk to Sirius, I expect we could think of a way to do it. . ." Ginny said.
"Come on, with Umbridge policing the fires and reading all our mail?" Harry asked dully.
"The thing about growing up with Fred and George, is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve." Ginny said.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" An angry voice shouted.
"Oh damn, I forgot." Ginny said, jumping to her feet. I shoved my things into my bag as Madam Pince swooped down on us.
"Chocolate in the library! Out- out- OUT!" Madam Pince said, wiping out her wand and making Harry's things chase us out of the library, hitting us over the head as we ran.
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𝕬 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖕𝖑𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖞𝖘 before Easter holiday ended, there were pamphlets and brochures that describe all the different possible jobs that could be done outside of Hogwarts. I briefly wondered why they didn't show these to us when we were choosing our classes in second-year because there were certain careers that required certain classes and if you hadn't signed up for the class before third-year. . . tough luck to you.
There was a notice on the board that read:
CAREER ADVICE All fifth years will be required to attend a short meeting with their Head of House during the first week of the Summer term, in which they will be given the opportunity to discuss their future careers. Times of individual appointments are listed below.
I looked and found myself in the middle of the list. I was supposed to meet Professor Sprout in her greenhouse office at 11:20 on Monday. This meant I would be missing Care of Magical Creatures but at this point, I was okay with not seeing Umbridge for a little bit.
"Well, I don't fancy healing." Ron said, perusing through the brochures. "It says here you need at least an E at N.E.W.T. level in Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I mean. . . blimey. . . Don't want much, do they?"
"Well, it's a very responsible job, isn't it?" Hermione asked. "You don't seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies 'Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!'" She read from one of her brochures.
"You'd need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle. Good sense of when to duck, more like. . . Listen to this." Harry said, "'Are you seeking a challenging career involving travel, adventure, and substantial, danger-related treasure bonuses? Then consider a position with Gringotts Wizarding Bank, who are currently recruiting Curse-Breakers for thrilling opportunities abroad. . .' They want Arithmancy though. . . you could do it, Hermione!"
"I don't much fancy banking." Hermione said.
"Hey" A quiet voice hissed. "Ginny's had a word with us about you. She says you need to talk to Sirius?"
It was Fred and George. George, keeping a lookout and Fred talking.
"What?" Hermione asked sharply.
"Yeah. . . yeah, I thought I'd like-" Harry said casually.
"Don't be so ridiculous." Hermione said and I avoided her eyes. "With Umbridge groping around in the fires and frisking all the owls?"
"Well, we think we can find a way around that. It's a simple matter of causing a diversion. Now, you might have noticed that we have been rather quiet on the mayhem front during the Easter holidays?" George asked.
"What was the point, we asked ourselves, of disrupting leisure time? No point at all, we answered ourselves." Fred continued and I giggled. "And of course, we'd have messed up people's studying too, which would be the very last thing we'd want to do." He nodded toward Hermione and put a hand on my shoulder.
"But it's business as usual from tomorrow. And if we're going to be causing a bit of uproar, why not do it so that Harry can have his chat with Sirius and Elizabeth with her dad?" Fred continued. I blushed, wishing he hadn't mentioned me.
"Yes, but still, even if you do cause a diversion, how is Harry supposed to talk to him?"
"Umbridge's office." I said promptly. "It'll be the only fire that isn't being watched."
"Are- you- insane?" Hermione asked in a hushed voice.
"I don't think so." Harry said, shrugging his shoulders.
"And how are you going to get in there in the first place?" Hermione asked, looking between Harry and I.
"Sirius's knife." Harry said.
"Excuse me?"
"Christmas before last Sirius gave me a knife that'll open any lock. So even if she's bewitched the door so Alohomora won't work, which I bet she has-" I said.
"What do you think about this?" Hermione demanded to Ron.
"I dunno." Ron said, looking uncomfortable. "If Harry wants to do it, it's up to him, isn't it? And Eliza?"
"Spoken like a true friend and Weasley." Fred said, clapping Ron so hard on the back the pamphlets went flying off Ron's lap. "Right, then. We're thinking of doing it tomorrow, just after lessons, because it should cause maximum impact if everybody's corridors- Harry, Eliza, we'll set it off in the east wing somewhere, draw her right away from her own office- I reckon we should be able to guarantee you, what, twenty minutes?" Fred finished, looking at George.
"Easy." George said.
"What sort of diversion?" Ron asked curiously.
"You'll see, little bro. At least, you will if you trot along to Gregory the Smarmy's corridor round about five o'clock tomorrow." Fred said with a wink.
My stomach twisted as I watched them go and a sick feeling filled my stomach. But I wanted to talk to Dad, didn't I? I wanted to ask him why he didn't stop James from messing with Severus. . .
But before I had time for the real nerves to set in, I was sitting in front of Professor Sprout the next day in the greenhouse office. I'd never been in here before. It looked a lot like the Hufflepuff common room. It was round rather than square or rectangular shaped. There were plants hanging everywhere and dirt was on the floors. It was like a garden office.
In the corner was Professor Umbridge with her stupid little clipboard, but both Professor Sprout and I were determinedly ignoring her.
"Well Elizabeth," Professor Sprout said in a cheerful manner, "this meeting is to talk over any career ideas you possibly are thinking about and I'm here to help you decide subjects that you should continue with in her sixth and seventh years. Have you any ideas about what you want to do?"
"Well. . ." I said slowly. "I've had a couple. I'm trying to decided between becoming an Auror, a Healer, or. . . or um. . . an experimental potioneer."
Professor Sprout looked a bit surprised. "Really?"
"Well an Auror would be a great career considering the times we're in." I explained. "but I also love helping people which I could do as a Healer and. . . well ever since I was a little kid I wanted to make a cure for. . . for werewolf bites. I know it'll be difficult but I think I really could do it."
Professor Umbridge made a very small cough and we both ignored her. Professor Sprout smiled, "I think those are all wonderful career options. Now, let's go through the careers one by one, we'll start with Auror. It is a difficult career path, of course, because you'll have to study once you leave school as well. I don't see that being a problem for you at all though."
Professor Umbridge coughed a little louder and Professor Sprout raised her voice a bit. "Of course, you'll need to take most of the main courses like Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Potions, and Charms-"
"Not Herbology?" I asked.
"No." She said, shaking her head. "It's an option, of course, but not a necessary one. However, if we move on to healing-"
Professor Umbridge coughed very loudly and Professor Sprout turned to her and said, "Are you quite alright Professor?"
"Oh yes, but I just wanted to inquire if you believe that Miss Kane here has the right er. . . temperament for becoming an Auror?"
"Oh yes." Professor Sprout said, nodding and still smiling. "Miss Kane is a sweet girl, very brave, extremely smart. No doubts at all that she will succeed no matter what career she goes into. Now," she turned back to me, "You'll have to take Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Charms for Healing. After all, it's an incredibly important job- one that should not be taken lightly as there can be consequences for inept healers."
"Like the healer who was supposed to be taking care of Bode." I said, nodding.
"Exactly. Now with the experimental potioneering, that's not really an official-" Professor Sprout was interrupted by an extremely loud cough. Her smile flickered, becoming extremely annoyed and said, "yes?"
"Well, experimental potioneering is a very dangerous job and I don't believe that Miss Kane here will be employed by the Ministry for the job."
I gritted my teeth. "I'm trying to create a cure for werewolves, of course they'll employ me."
"The Minister certainly will not." Professor Umbridge said, smiling.
"Well!" I said hotly. "Fudge isn't going to be Minister anymore by the end of the year."
Professor Umbridge jumped to her feet, "I knew it! I knew Dumbledore-"
"Dumbledore isn't going to be Minister either." I said bitingly. "Granted, the next Minister is going to be a bit better but nothing like Dumbledore."
Professor Umbridge looked a bit unnerved and Professor Sprout quickly claimed my attention back, "I think a cure for werewolves in a wonderful idea." She said sweetly. Professor Sprout's sweet voice was so much different from Professor Umbridge. "It'll give so many people their lives back. Do you have any questions?"
I shook my head, "I don't think so."
"Alright then. You may go back to class." Professor Sprout said, marking something down on a piece of parchment and stacking it onto of a small pile on her desk.
I stood up and left the room without looking back. Stupid Professor Umbridge.
I wanted to hear Harry's interview with Professor McGonagall and knew that I'd have to be there sometime around half-past two. I went back to Care of Magical Creatures where we were still working on Knarls. Bloody boring.
I went up to the castle for lunch and then sat through charms. Potions was after that.
Severus held me back after Potions though and I felt my anxiety increase. "Look, are you mad at me?" He asked quietly as Hannah left the room.
I looked at him blankly, "Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"
"I don't know!" He said, sounding a bit exasperated. "You haven't been down once in nearly a week and a half though."
"Sorry." I whispered. "I've been busy- which isn't an excuse, I know. . . I thought you'd be er- mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you?" He asked, bewildered.
"Well you were pissed at Harry. . ." I said quietly. "And I'm his sister and James was my dad and lily was my mum and. . ."
"Oh." Severus said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his robes. I wrapped my arms around him.
"I'll come back tonight, I promise." I got up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips. I turned to leave and found I couldn't.
He'd grabbed my tie and drew me back to him, pushing me down on the desk and kissing me fiercely. I forgot where I wanted to be at that moment and wrapped my arms around him. We heard footsteps outside the door and we pulled apart. I grabbed my bag and passed Draco on the way out.
I hurried to where Professor McGonagall's office was and listened outside the door.
"Yes." Harry was saying, "Defense Against the Darks Arts, I suppose?"
"Naturally." Professor McGonagall said in a crisp voice. "I would also advise-"
There was a cough and I knew that Umbridge was in the room too.
"I would also advise Transfiguration, because Aurors frequently need to Transfigure or Untransfigure in their work. And I ought to tell you now, Potter, that I do not accept students into my N.E.W.T. classes unless they have achieved 'Exceeds Expectations' or higher at Ordinary Wizarding Level. I'd say you're averaging 'Acceptable' at the moment, so you'll need to put in some good hard work before the exams to stand a chance of continuing. Then you ought to do Charms, always useful, and Potions. Yes, Potter, potions. Poisons and antidotes are essential study for Aurors. And I must tell you that Professor Snape absolutely refuses to take students who get anything other than 'Outstanding' in their O.W.L.s, so-"
Professor Umbridge coughed even louder.
"May I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?" Professor McGonagall asked curtly. I grinned, only able to imagine the look on her face.
"Oh no, thank you very much. I just wondered whether I could make the teensiest interruption, Minerva?" Professor Umbridge's voice was farthest from the door.
"I daresay you'll find you can." Professor McGonagall said through what sounded like gritted teeth.
"I was just wondering whether Mr. Potter has quite the temperament for an Auror?" She asked sweetly the way that she had in Professor Sprout's office a couple hours ago. I wondered if she was only sitting in mine and Harry's interviews.
"Were you? Well, Potter, if you are serious in this ambition, I would advise you to concentrate hard on bringing your Transfiguration and Potions up to scratch. I see Professor Flitwick has graded you between 'Acceptable' and 'Exceeds Expectations' for the last two years, so your Charms work seems satisfactory; as for Defense Against the Dark Arts, your marks have been generally high, Professor Lupin in particular thought you- are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?"
Susan and Ernie came over. "What are you doing?" Susan mouthed. I put a finger to my lips, still listening. I was joyful too- Professor McGonagall had mentioned dad. I loved hearing people talk about dad- for good, of course
"Oh, no need, thank you, Minerva. I was just concerned that you might not have Harry's most recent Defense Against the Dark Arts marks in front of you. I'm quire sure I slipped in a note. . ."
"What, this thing?" Professor McGonagall asked sharply and Susan, Ernie, and I heard the sound of parchment rustling. "Yes, as I was saying, Potter, Professor Lupin thought you showed a pronounced aptitude for the subject, and obviously for an Auror-"
"Did you not understand my note, Minerva?" Professor Umbridge interrupted, forgetting to cough.
"Of course I understood it." Professor McGonagall's sounded muffled as though her teeth were glued together.
"Well, then, I am confused. . . I'm afraid I don't quite understand how you can give Mr. Potter false hope that-"
"False hope? He has achieved high marks in all his Defense Against the Dark Arts tests-"
"I'm terribly sorry to have to contradict you, Minerva, but as you will see from my note, Harry has been achieving very poor results in his classes with me-" Professor Umbridge interrupted.
"I should have made my meaning plainer. He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher." Professor McGonagall said coldly.
Ernie and Susan dropped their mouths in shock and I grinned broadly. We all looked at each other.
"A werewolf is not a competent teacher!" Professor Umbridge said angrily.
"Well Professor Lupin was the most competent teacher that we ever had for the class so I must contradict you. Any questions, Potter?"
"Yes. What sort of character and aptitude tests do the Ministry do on you, if you get enough N.E.W.T.s?" Harry asked, sounding as though he was trying not to laugh.
"Well, you'll need to demonstrate the ability to react well to pressure and so forth, perseverance and dedication, because Auror training takes a further three years, not to mention very high skills in practical defense. It will mean a lot more study even after you've left school, so unless you're prepared to-" Professor McGonagall answered his question.
'I think you'll also find that the Ministry looks into the records of those applying to the Aurors. Their criminal records." Professor Umbridge said in a cold voice. Susan shook her head.
"-unless you're prepared to take even more exams after Hogwarts, you should really look at another-"
"-which means that this boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school!"
"A very good chance, then." Professor McGonagall said.
"Potter has a criminal record!" Professor Umbridge practically shouted.
"Potter has been cleared of all charges!" Professor McGonagall said even louder than the Umbitch.
"Potter has no chance, whatsoever, of becoming an Auror!"
"Potter." Professor McGonagall said in a ringing tone. "I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly I will make sure you achieve the required results!"
Susan, Ernie, and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows and shocked expressions.
"The Minister of Magic will never employ Harry Potter!" Umbridge said in a trembling voice.
"There may well be a new Minister of Magic by the time Potter is ready to join!" Professor McGonagall shouted so loudly, students passing by looked at us curiously.
"Aha! Yes! yes, yes, yes!" Professor Umbridge shouted and I motioned to Susan and Ernie that it was time to leave.
"Wow." Susan said in a shocked voice. "I would never have thought Professor McGonagall would say things like that."
"My Dad was a good teacher, wasn't he?" I asked, pleased, still basking in that memory.
"Professor Lupin was the best." Ernie assured me.
Harry bolted out of the office at that moment, rushing to whatever class he was supposed to be going to. Professor McGonagall and Professor Umbridge were now yelling at each other, the door still open. Students started to look up as they passed, some of them slowing to listen in.
"Let's get out of here." I muttered to them and we hurried off the library.
I finished up a majority of my homework and then said good-bye to Susan and Ernie and made my way stealthily to Umbridge's office. I waited around a corner until I heard footsteps and saw Harry. He threw the Invisibility cloak over us and unlocked the office door and we hurried inside.
Harry pulled off the cloak, grabbing floo powder and threw it into the fireplace. "Number twelve, Grimmauld Place." Harry said loudly. We both stuck our heads in at the same time. I'd never done this before. There was the familiar spinning sensation and then I was seeing the kitchen.
Dad was sitting at the table, bent over a piece of parchment.
"Sirius?" Harry asked.
Dad jumped and looked around. "Harry! Elizabeth! What are you- what's happened, is everything all right?"
"Yeah. I just wondered- I mean, I just fancied a- a chat with Sirius." Harry said awkwardly. I was looking down at the kitchen floor, unable to look dad in the face.
"I'll call him. He went upstairs to look for Kreacher, he seems to be hiding in the attic again. . ." Dad hurried from the room.
"He must've gone to the Malfoy manor." I muttered. "Sirius keeps telling him to get out."
"This is painful." Harry muttered and I knew what he was talking about. My knees were starting to seize up. Dad returned moments later, Sirius at his heels.
"What is it?" Sirius asked and I thought of how handsome he was and looked back down at the kitchen floor. "Are you all right? Do you need help?"
"No, it's nothing like that. . . I just wanted to talk. . . about my dad. . ." Harry said. He immediately launched into the story about Severus' pensive and what he saw inside of it- not talking about my part of course.
"I wouldn't want you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry." Dad said and somehow, I knew he was including himself in that. "He was only fifteen-"
"I'm fifteen!" Harry and I said together in heated voices.
"Look, Harry. James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can't you? I think James was everything Severus wanted to be- he was popular, he was good at Quidditch, good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts and James- whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry- always hated the Dark Arts." Sirius said.
I gritted my teeth but said nothing.
"Yeah, but he just attacked Snape for no good reason, just because-"
"Because you said you were bored." I said, attempting to sound sorry for accusing Sirius but wasn't entirely capable of doing it. My voice was to tense, to angry, and both Dad and Sirius flinched slightly.
"I'm not proud of it." Sirius said quickly and I snorted.
"Look, Harry, what you've got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did- everyone thought they were the height of cool- if they sometimes got a bit carried away-" Dad said.
"If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean." Sirius said.
Dad smiled.
"He kept messing up his hair." Harry said, sounding pained. Both dad and Sirius laughed.
"I'd forgotten he used to do that." Sirius said affectionately.
"Was he playing with the snitch?" Dad asked in an eager voice. I felt like I'd faded into the background but said nothing. Dad's attention didn't have to be on me 24-7 and James had been his friend too.
"Yeah. Well. . . I thought he was a bit of an idiot." Harry said, sounding like he couldn't comprehend why Sirius and Dad looked so reminiscent.
"Of course he was a bit of an idiot! We were all idiots! Well- not Moony so much, that's where Eilís gets her brains too."
Dad shook his head. "Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape? Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?"
So dad hadn't stopped James because he believed he wasn't brave enough. I supposed that made sense. If Harry had done the same to Malfoy. . . would I have told Harry to lay off? Of course, Draco's dad had also tried kidnapping me so that was a bit of a different story. Ron wouldn't have said anything either- but Hermione. . .
"Yeah, well, you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes. . . That was something. . ." Sirius said.
So dad had rebuked them, just not in Snape's memory. I felt properly ashamed of judging dad so harshly and I felt tears sting my eyes.
"And, he kept looking over at the girls by the lake, hoping they were watching him!" Harry exclaimed.
"Oh, well, he always made a fool of himself whenever Lily was around. He couldn't stop himself showing off whenever he got near her."
"How come she married him?" Harry asked in a miserable voice. "She hated him!"
"Nah, she didn't." Sirius said.
"She started going out with him in seventh year." Dad said.
"Once James had deflated his head a bit." Sirius said.
"And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it." Dad said.
"Even Snape?" Harry asked.
"Well, Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down, could you?" Dad said in a very slow, cautious voice.
"And my mum was okay with that?" Harry asked and I snorted again.
"She didn't know too much about it, to tell you the truth. I mean, James didn't take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?"
Harry looked unconvinced and I felt miserable. This talk wasn't helping at all, they were just defending their best friend.
"Look. Your father was the best friend I ever had, and he was a good person. A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it." Sirius said.
"Yeah, okay. I just never thought I'd feel sorry for Snape." Harry said heavily.
"Now you mention it, how did Snape react when he found you'd seen all this?" Dad asked, frowning.
"He was so angry when I went to see him the same night." I whispered, "I'd never seen him so angry before."
Sirius face contorted.
"He told me he'd never teach me Occlumency again, like that's a big disappoint-" Harry said indifferently.
"He WHAT?" Sirius shouted and I jumped, smacked my head against the fireplace, and then inhaled ashes. I coughed spasmodically, tears in my eyes and then pulled my head out of the fireplace to find some water. I could hear Harry making noises in the fireplace but not the full context of words.
Once I'd drank a bit of water, I stuck my head back in.
"Harry, there is nothing so important as you learning Occlumency! Do you understand me? Nothing?" Dad asked sternly.
"Okay, okay." Harry said.
"Harry, Filch is coming." I said, my eyes half glazed over, "He just got an order to. . . to whip misbehaving students. . . oh that's just lovely."
"Stay out of detention Elizabeth." Dad said sternly.
"Yeah that's a bit difficult." I said and then pulled my head out to throw the Invisibility cloak over myself and Harry. I was still a bit annoyed with dad and was trying to push that feeling away.
We made it out of Umbridge's office, just as Filch came around the corner. We slipped past him and made our way to the Entrance hall. Harry threw the cloak off of us, tossing it into his bag.
Students were standing around the entrance hall just like the night of Professor Trelawney's sacking, some of them covered in some sort of substance. I could see ghosts and teachers scattered throughout the mix. Peeves was floating up close to the ceiling and Fred and George were standing in the middle, looking exceptionally pleased with themselves.
"So!" Umbridge said triumphantly. "So. . . you think it amused to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?"
"Pretty amusing, yeah." Fred said, catching my eye and winking.
'I've got the form, Headmistress !" Filch said, nearly crying with happiness and rushing towards Umbridge. 'I've got the form and I've got the whips waiting. . . Oh, let me do it now. . ."
"Very good, Argus. You two, are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."
"You know what?" Fred asked. "I don't think we are. George, I think we've outgrown full-time education."
"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself." George said lightly.
"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" Fred said.
"Definitely." George said and as one, they lifted their wands and said "Accio Brooms!"
There was a crashing sound and Harry and I ducked along with a few other students as Fred and George's brooms- having broken through Umbridge's door the iron pegs and chain still attached- came hurtling towards them.
"We won't be seeing you." Fred said, swinging his leg over his broomstick. I grinned at him, catching his eye again, blowing him a kiss, and winking.
"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch." George said.
Fred looked around and then said. "If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley- Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes. Our new premises!"
"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat." George said, pointing at Umbridge.
"STOP THEM!" Umbridge screamed.
"Give her hell from us, Peeves." Fred said and Peeves swept his hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George flew out of the Entrance Hall.
Students ran out of the castle and down onto the lawn to watch them fly far away into the sunset.
⬅️➡️
#Braveclementineworks#BravclementineNovels#Novel#ElizabethKane#ElizabethKaneseries#ElizabethKaneandtheOrderofthePhoenix#Hogwarts#Weasley Twins#Filch#Ginny Weasley#Hufflepuff#Severus Snape#Severus Snape x OC#Harry Potter#Harry Potter sister fanfic#Peeves#Umbridge#Umbitch#Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes#Flitwick#Sprout#Firenze#Severus Snape x Elizabeth Kane#smut#18+ readers only#memories#fifth year#Remus Lupin#Sirius Black#Kreacher
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HP Rec Fest - Day 6
@hprecfest
Theme - An unreliable narrator fic
Remember Me to Cheetham Hill by Delphi
Pairing - Snape/Filch. 13250 words. Rated E. Read the warnings!
Rec because - Want to read about a sleazy gloryhole type age difference pervy AU? Sorry, this ain't that fic. You feel like you are reading that fic. Then it turns around and becomes a real psychological horror. If you wanted to try something darker and fucked up, this is the fic for you. Whatever you think the powerdynamics are going to be you guessed wrong. It's probably my fav unreliable narrator fic. The author's Behind the Scenes for the fic is super interesting! It's got a lot of the technical details about the fic.
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I read that "Potter" the same way as Dinkelberg.
#severus snape#harry potter#mad eye moody#argus filch#harry potter and the goblet of fire#fairy odd parents#dinkelberg#I'm rereading the books and it's as fun as it was the first time around#maybe I'll post more#marauders map
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Ah yes, standing in plain view when listening to a super secret conversation. Clearly Leena has perfected the art of espionage
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HP Rec Fest - Day 18
Prompt: A fairy-tale-inspired fic @hprecfest
Golem
Characters: Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape
Creator: eldritcher
Rating: M/R
Word Count: 2,138
Summary: He becomes her.
Why You Should Check It Out:
Once again, the inimitable @eldritcher pulls me up short and makes me breathe, "Oh!" with this dreamlike story that's densely textured and beautifully lyrical.
As with many of eldritcher's stories, this one packs a lot into a relatively short piece. The author juxtaposes starkness and voluptuousness into the tale, weaving mythology into it to create a fascinating character study. It's complex and dense with imagery and imagination.
Sleeping Beauty
Characters: Argus Filch, Dolores Umbridge, Filius Flitwick, Minerva McGonagall, Original Character, Severus Snape
Creator: shiv5468
Rating: T/PG-13
Word Count: 4,500
Summary: Once upon a time, far far away, Fairy Godmothers happen.
Why You Should Check It Out:
This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, with one of the strongest OC voices.
It upends all the fairy tale tropes about fairy godmothers and melds them perfectly with HP tropes to make a lovely, hilarious romp through a holiday at Hogwarts with Umbridge.
#hp fic rec#hprecfest#hprecfest2023#severus snape#minerva mcgonagall#dolores umbridge#filius flitwick#argus filch
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