#small mini vent idk

[eveanderland34]

One thing to know about me. Iss That i literally fucking hate dresses

Like- THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO VULNERABLE?? I hate it. Fuck dresses. I want a tuxedo.

[marukfe]

I'm still dwelling over that stupid thing I said to a stranger GDJAFAK

I'M REALLY HOPING I SENT IT AS ANONYMOUS CUZ IT WAS A REALLY STUPID QUESTION..,

Idk dude they might just think im a weird person and that I shouldn't even exist at all or something

Aaa man this is why I don't trust my brain when I'm eepy </3

[messenger-of-babel]

Home is Where the Heart is

Summary: You could never tell what Jason was thinking, and this particular night he has a lot on his mind. (Jason Todd x reader)

Word Count: 2.0K

Notes: Mini vent- had a bad day and this week has been really tough so I’m changing up the layout of today as well so I could put out a fic that was a little easier on my mind (I always need to have more pep in my step when I write for my lanterns idk why haha. So sorry Kyle my baby I want to do you justice so you're on backburner). It was indeed written to Ed Sheeran on loop cause I needed to lock in fr. ❤️❤️

Enjoy Lovelies~! xx

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When Jason looked at you, you often wondered what he was thinking.

What was passing through his mind that made his irises gleam that brilliant shade of emerald or let the natural curve of his smile adored his face. However, every time that you asked he just blew his hair from his eyes gruffly, but let the smile stay. "That's a secret," he'd say before his hand would pull you to kiss side and he'd press a soft kiss on your forehead.

It was a little known fact that the Red Hood was in fact Jason Todd, but it was known to even less that Jason Todd was actually a romantic at heart. Sure, he had a mouth on him, and he was on the receiving end of your hand up the back of his head more often than he wasn't. But he was also the quiet kind of clingy, the kind that would never ask to hug you or initiate contact, but would stay up so he could have your back pressed against his chest the second you slipped into bed. He'd laugh when you brushed the hair out of his eyes, the scar on the corner of his mouth unable to stop his boyish grin. It was those moments in your kitchen that made you think that maybe, just maybe, your life was all normal.

You knew it wasn't.

When your fingers brush against his forehead you know that the white tuft in his hair was a painful reminder of his death, the scar on his lips you so lovingly kissed caused by the very man who had killed him. His hands were littered with small scars from blocking knives and protecting his head from glass instead of childhood memories of climbing trees. His back was a canvas of white slashes that intersected in a map-like pattern, a surface already so touched that the symmetrical red lines you left seemed less stunning in comparison. Legs sporting burn marks, bruises permanent along his ribs; that was the Jason that you knew. So even if some days you pretended that he was some ordinary civilian like yourself, you still loved Jason with all your heart.

On this particular night he had come home from patrol, sitting on the kitchen counter while you patched him up. You had been a pretty awful field doctor the first time you offered, but he braved through your prods and pokes with a wince. He didn't say anything about the way you wrapped the bandages too loosely or that you had forgotten some antiseptic and had given the wrong type of topical painkiller. Jason could see the worry on your face, so he leant forward and kissed your forehead tiredly, thanking you with a soft murmur.

You didn't need to know when he slunk off the bathroom to rewrap the bandages, or when he reapplied ointment in the right area. He picked glass out of his own skin when you missed some, letting the shards clatter down the sink. All that consumed him was the thought of how soft you were when you handled him, when you passed the bandage around his middle, or when you tried to clean the wound with as little antiseptic as possible to try and prevent the stinging. He normally hated having to doctor himself up, meaning that even the smallest of injuries tended to scar under his negligence. Yet with you he had been ashamed of the scars, hyper aware of how your eyes lingered on them. More so, how other people stared at them when you were out together. So, for months he spent nights in the bathroom redoing the handiwork you insisted so passionately on learning, just so that there wouldn't be a scar you could blame yourself for later.

You were absolutely perfect, so there was no reason that he couldn't be for you too.

You had become better though, and that was through the help of Alfred. Now you had patched him up efficiently and tightly, patting his hip affectionately when you pull the bandage tight. "Almost done," you smile up at him, fingers pulling the end of the bandage tight and reaching for a bandage clip. "Just got to secure it and you'll be good to go."

He smiles and drops a tired kiss to your skin as usual, pulling your fingers away when you’re done so he can raise them to his lips. "Thanks, darl." he grins, eyes tired but grin still lively as ever. He slides off the counter to wrap his hands around your waist, kissing your nose. You just huff and give him a side glance, arms circling his neck without hesitation.

"What's got you all worked up?" you ask with a light laugh when he’s overly affectionate with you, making Jason groan and drop his head into your hair.

"Just tired." he mumbles. "Bruce pissed me off again today, started lecturing me on the way home."

"Bruce pisses you off most days." you chide. "How did you ever escape the lecture?" you chuckle, moving with him as he begins to sway.

"I turned the commlink off and came up through Southside Gotham so he couldn't follow me." he grins.

There it was.

"There's always something with you, isn't there?" you shake your head, beginning to spin around with him softly in the candlelight. He laughs, and you imagine it’s the sound of a young boy finally getting to live life normally again.

"Always is, babe. you know me." he chuckles, and his eyes flutter over to the candles you have on the counter. It was always dark when he came home normally, and in his tired state he hadn't questioned it. After all, his family worked best in the dark.

"Power outage at the moment?" he asks.

"Power got cut off." you murmur back with a sigh. "We missed last payment. Only a few days, but you know how quick they jump on those these in Gotham. It's all paid up now, but it'll take a day or two to get back. Cold things from the freezer are in the washing machine with the ice blocks."

He hums, stroking a hand up and down your back. "You're well prepared. Sorry for making you deal with them, I'll handle it next time, I promise."

Jason hated using Bruce's money.

Not only was it something that sat bitter in his mouth ever since he had come back, but he didn’t need it. Dick had also rejected it and moved to Bludhaven, and even though he'd never admit it, Jason respected the way he managed to build a home for himself there. He wanted to do that too, and he could do it damn well by himself. He still took some money, but it was no more than a wage from Bruce. He considered protecting Gotham his job, and he wasn't stupid. He wasn’t going to let his pride get in the way of helping you both live. He hated to see you stress about finances, but you never asked him. You never asked him to reach out to Bruce for more or reach out to Bruce yourself.

The first time rent had gone up it had nearly priced the both of you out of the cozy apartment you lived in, and you had been in tears for days trying to find a second job to cover the expenses. Yet you didn’t come begging for Bruce's assistance, no. You looked at him with those teary eyes and asked him to help make a budget with you so you could figure a way out, and you did. You were the most resilient person he knew, the most resilient person he loved.

He held you closer as he spun you softly around the kitchen.

You were going to need to be resilient.

He inhaled the scent of your shampoo and let his arms bask in the warmth of you. Your skin against his made the thrumming in his side ease and the headache blistering behind his eyes subside. As you relaxed against him, his head raced of all the ways that he could tell you. Tell the most perfect being that had ever walked into your life that he was leaving, and not only that, he was going to have to break your heart on the way out.

He cursed Bruce. He cursed Bruce for making enemies that had cunning greater than his own, for dragging him into the mess he had created. He had yelled and spat and screamed at the older man until his voice resonated off the cave walls, storming from the cave after tonight's fight. Bruce had asked the impossible of him, after they both got their asses handed to them in a surprise attack. They had taunted Bruce, not the Batman, and had enough evidence to bring Bruce's world and carefully hidden persona crumbling down around him. It just so happened that they had enough to bring Jason's down as well.

They knew about you.

Pictures of you had fluttered down towards him, filling him with an indescribable sense of fear. As hard as they fought, they had let the new visitor of Gotham's nightlife slip through their fingers and Bruce had asked him to break up with you not a second later. There was no empathy, there was no kindness or waiting for it to sink in for him.

But there never was.

In that moment Bruce was Batman, but Red Hood had been the scared Jason Todd.

How did he tell you that he wanted to break up when that was the furthest thing from the truth? That he would walk through hell barefoot and dunk himself in the Lazarus pit again if that mean that you were still there to warm his bed at night? How could he tell you that he didn't love you when his heart ached to tell you it every time he got the courage? He could play the tears, play the part of a sad breakup. That part was easy, considering how this was shaping to be one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. It was the rage that he couldn't muster, for once. Rage was something that he saved for the streets, a place already so crime ridden and scummy that his bitterness and anger were practically masked under the filth. It wasn't a place for your home, the little shelter the both of you had carved out of Gotham with your own two hands.

So, he spun you around the room, eyes watering with tears yet to shed as he thought about how to let you go. He knew you wanted to stay, and that made his heart ache in return. It was like losing a part of him that hadn't even been lost yet, a void already forming in his chest. He sniffled lightly and thankfully you didn’t hear or notice his arms squeezing tighter, as if to imprint the feeling of you against his body. He tried to tell himself it was only a temporary thing, that he could explain it all to you later when the threat was done. That thought often lost against the conjured image of your heartbroken eyes his mind created to torture him, and the persistent thought that you'd probably never want to see him again when he was about to break your heart so violently.

You don't notice something is wrong until the first tear hits your hair, silently giving way to more. You notice the slight shake in his arms and the tension still wound in his body. Normally the stiffness in his muscles flowed out of him like water when he stepped over the threshold of the house, but not tonight.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask softly, pressing into him to try and comfort him, your heart panging in confusion at his strange behaviour.

Jason would never tell you, but when he looked at you he wondered what the rest of your life together would look like, and if you'd ever considering changing your name to 'Todd'.

[earthstellar]

Heatwave on the Lost Light: Summer Themed Shenanigans

listen, maybe the lost light passes by a planetary body that emits a ton of heat that their shielding can’t fully filter out so there’s a “heatwave” on the ship or something 

and, hear me out, it’s fucking 31C in England right now and I’m sitting here misting my tits with a spray bottle full of ice water every five minutes because I’m too pale for sunlight to be happening, turn the fucking sun off, I’m so white and old, don’t do this to me

so I imagine Ratchet and Megatron and Cyclonus and all the larger/older bots (esp. those with thicker armour or those who never downgraded from war frames) are just fucking STRUGGLING with the heat while they have to pass by this solar entity of a planet 

but the lighter frame types/minimally armoured bots, like the racers and mini bots, are more or less having an okay time. like yeah they’re feeling the heat but their vents aren’t overheating because they’re either small enough to dispel heat easier or they’re racer frames and designed to vent off excess heat a lot more efficiently than other frame types 

Swerve is like hell yeah, we’re doing a summer beach party themed movie night at the bar, the turnout is great because he figured out a way to make a slushie form of frozen energon (which he serves in metal ICEE cones because he saw it in a human movie a while back, lmao) 

so Drift is just there with a spray bottle, every now and then misting Ratchet when he turns around to go deal with someone who’s fallen ill with some Cybertronian form of heat stroke 

and the spray bottle liquid makes a slight sizzling noise as it evaporates on contact with Ratchet’s armour  

Ratchet keeps trying to shoo Drift away but First Aid is like “keep doing it, his temperature readout is still above normal functioning parameters” 

Rodimus is having a great time, but Minimus is completely unable to even look at the Magnus armour without his vents flaring at the thought of how fucking impossibly hot it would be to put it on at the moment 

at one point Cyclonus lays down on the floor in his hab suite so Tailgate can run a little hand-held fan up and down his frame because Cyclonus is too proud to admit that it’s way too hot for him and he doesn’t want to have to go to the med bay because he’s aware of how busy it is at the moment 

IDK it’s so fucking hot in here holy shit where did my tit misting device go 

[n4talia-chaparro]

Warning erm: small vent/mini rant I guess,,

I have been feeling upset lately because of how months have been passing very quickly. I'm not mad about starting class early at all. I'm just happy that I have 2 days til Wednesday but at the same time, I'm not even upset about the school. I'm more upset that I'll be 17 very soon. No, I mean yeah it's a silly age I know, but it scares me.

Who knows if I will continue to post art after turning 17 or not cuz it worries me a lot. Looking back at my old stuff and realizing how stupid I used to be last May made me feel more guilty because I'm scared I'll repeat the same behavior back and forth. I don't know if I'll improve or change for the better because I'm trying my best to act like my age, I try to be more mature when it comes to handling a situation but it stresses me out and I accidentally mess it up again.

I'm not saying I don't wanna be an adult at all I just..damn. I'm still ashamed of how I used to act or talk to people. Mostly scared to approach a moot because idk if they will accept my apology or block me if I talk to them. I can't blame them cuz it was my fault I didn't listen to their advice and I wasn't in the right mindset at that time when they spoke to them multiple times. I feel bad for not listening to them and I do wanna apologize to them but again. I'm scared they will block me and idk how to approach them without sounding like a fucking coward begging for forgiveness,,,

I'm trying my best to handle my anger issues as properly as I can to prevent committing the same old mistake. I'm not ready to be 17 tbh. What if one day I end up acting like a creep to someone without knowing or hurting a mutual just like my groomer/ex-friend? I have been feeling like this after the whole anon drama and the allegations ended. It sucks I have to be like this <:/

[marleyybluu]

Friend Request

Fezco O'Neil x f!black!OC (Jackie Brown)

Word count: 1.4k

Content warning: swearing, mentions of marijuana use, pothead terms, a bit of self-insert, another awkward ending (?) you should know me by now, probably spelling mistakes, a bit rushed idk

A/N: I don't think I wrote any specific descriptions of the OC being black but that's how I picture her and in future chapters, she will be described as such anyway.

Yes I named her Jackie Brown while listening to Jackie Brown lol

look how pretty he is

Jackie doesn't have a lot of friends, she was lucky for the two that she did have in her life, however, one moved out of the city and the other one is usually busy with her husband and kids. Now she felt like she was back at square one. She wasn't good at this. Which sounded stupid because she was twenty-three, what adult doesn't know how to make fucking friends? But it was harder than a lot of people thought.

If Jackie made friends it was usually from school or small social gatherings that her friends would usually drag her to, and help her get out of her "bubble" but now she didn't have that anymore. So what was she supposed to do?

Her life was getting boring, it was dull, all she did was work at the diner downtown and come home just to roll up and smoke. Even smoking by herself was getting boring. She needed company, she thought she could cruise through life on her own but she needed a companion— someone to vent to and laugh with, someone she could cry to and go to the movies with.

She sighed lighting her freshly rolled joint, her head lolled back onto the couch as she blew out a thin puff of air. Frank Ocean's channel ORANGE album quietly playing in the background. And even with the music, it was too quiet. Her mind wandered, thinking, if there are dating apps... shouldn't there be friendship... apps?

Well, now she was curious. Jackie picked up her phone, clicking on the App Store, her fingers typing in 'friendship apps'

This is so stupid.

She scrolled as a lot of them were catered more to friends with benefits and random hookups. And then she found one.

F•R•I•E•N•D•S™️

She laughed through her nose, the title reminding her of the show Friends. She says 'fuck it' as she clicks download and it's only seconds before the tiny icon is on her home screen. The process for signing up is the same as any other app, you put your name, and age, fill in a bio (if you so choose) and upload a picture or two or three of yourself. Her joint rested between her lips as she concentrated her fingers on the keyboard putting in her information.

Jackie Brown, 23. Just lookin' for a smoke buddy.

She cringed at the weak advertisement that was her bio but it would have to do for now, it was time to pick a few photos. She swiped through her album, though it wasn't a dating app and her pictures technically didn't require any effort, she still wanted to select her best ones. After intense searching, she chose three that felt explained her personality well and also made her look good. She shook her head at herself.

This is so stupid.

But she clicked 'done' and was brought to a mini tutorial on how to use the app. Press the plus sign when you want to add them or the 'x' when you don't and their profile will vanish into the abyss. And so, for the next ten minutes, that's what she did. She added a lot of people, men and women, but mostly women. She got a lot of matches out of them and a few of the girls seemed genuine, the men though...ew, to them this was just another hookup app and she received a few unsolicited pictures and lewd messages right off the bat, not even a 'hi' or 'hello' first. Typical.

Her joint was done, one last drag and she flicked the end onto the concrete, smushing it with her foot. She scrolled and swiped, clicked and responded to messages in her time outside on her swinging bench. The cool night breeze brushing her bare legs sent a shiver through her body but she didn't really mind it, this was the best time to smoke and be outside, the cold let her know Autumn was near. Ugh, her favourite season.

She hummed along to the music that was still playing in the background, blowing raspberries, her thumb starting to tire at her mindless scrolling until the pad of her thumb stopped on one guy's profile;

Fezco, 25. I regret downloading this.

She let out a slight titter at his bio because she had the same feeling. She went through his photos. He was cute. Sky blue eyes that could hypnotize you, freckles scattered all over his face, he sported a buzz cut and from certain angles, she noticed a scar starting at his hairline and ending just above his ear and oddly enough it completed his look. He had a ginger-coloured beard and in the very few photos where he smiled, she noticed a little gap in his teeth which, again, was cute.

Jackie didn't know what it was but she couldn't pass him by, fingers crossed in hopes that he wasn't a weirdo like the others, she sent him a friend request.

She looked upper left corner of her phone and noticed the time, it was nearing 1 a.m, she silently thanked the gods that she didn't start work until 4 p.m. but cursed them in the same breath that she'd be the one closing. She turned off her phone and shoved it in her pocket. She headed inside and locked her patio door, her feet pattered against the hardwood floors of her home. She turned off all the lights and headed upstairs. She yawned, the Indica starting to kick her ass.

She quickly brushed her teeth and swished around some mouthwash, and finally, she was in her cozy bed. She set an alarm, no doubt she wouldn't wake up until early afternoon. Before closing her eyes she plugged in her phone, the bright screen causing her to squint as she looked at a notification.

Fezco accepted your friend request. Click to chat. 2min ago.

Fezco sent you a message. 1min ago.

Redd felt a weird sensation in her chest, spreading down to her stomach. Her thumb wandered over the notification debating whether to click it or call it a night but her faded state made her mind up for her.

Fezco: What's up, Miss Jackie Brown? Is the position for a smoking buddy filled yet?

She smiled softly.

Jackie: Eh, there's still room for one more.

Fezco: Any strain in particular?

Were they really about to have a whole conversation about weed strains?

Jackie: I'm not picky, I just smoked some Girl Scout Cookies.

Fezco: Oh shit, okay. Well if you're serious about a smoking buddy, I could have a blunt with your name on it. If you're cool with that.

She found herself... giggling?

Jackie: Yeah I'm cool with that.

There was a small pause, three dots popped up indicating he was typing his reply but suddenly they disappeared, then reappeared and disappeared. Her mouth twisted figuring out what she'd say, this is what she hated the most, she ran out of conversation material quickly.

Jackie: Why are you still on here if you regret downloading it so much?

Fezco: Uh, I'm not really good at making friends. It's just me, and my girl Rue... but then she got a girlfriend and I don't see her much anymore.

Jackie: Omg me too!😂

Suddenly, she wasn't sleepy anymore, her conversation with this Fezco guy was keeping her wide awake. Her fingers tapped aimlessly as she answered and asked questions, this was the easiest way she'd ever gotten to know anyone, hiding behind a screen was her forte and she was thriving right now.

Jackie: So... his name is Ashtray? For real?

Fezco: lol yeah. I don't know, he always had his hand in our grandma's ashtray, so she stuck him with the name.

She couldn't lie to herself, it was a pretty cool name. She checked the time, now it was nearing 4 a.m. What the fuck. She yawned, her eyelids quickly weighing down with repressed slumber.

Jackie: It's late man, I got work tomorrow and I'm not trynna fall asleep on the clock lol

Fezco: No worries ma, you go make your money.

Jackie: Hm, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Fezco: I'll be here.

Jackie: Goodnight.

Fezco: Night.

She finally turned off her phone and placed it on her nightstand, she turned on her side and got in a comfortable position to sleep in. Her eyes closed and the corner of her mouth twitched, forming into a small smile. She felt a bit of pride for finally making a friend.

I've decided to keep writing for Fez, I like him too much and I like writing about him too much to just close it. Plus I was reminded that it's just the character I'm not actually writing about/for Angus. So I will continue to write for my favourite freckled boy.

if you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

peace and love, see you in the next one.

🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @bigenergy777 @skyesthebomb

[indigo-villin]

Hey uh...so... uhm... my mom told me something today when we were driving somewhere to shop and for her to have her doc appt... during the drive she told me that she and my step dad had "noticed me regressing for the past 2 years" and ummm... like yeah I told mom about it a WHILE ago so I re-explained it to her (and stressed the involuntary part for me) and she said "oh yeah I get it and it's fine, it's made things kinda fun for me actually, being able to buy dolls and such for you again." It was... it was a lot and I'm still taking it in.

Im more shocked that it's been happening for 2 years without me completely recognizing it, like sure I knew I was on my bday cause my sis told me I was acting like a 7 yr old (I was super excited about getting the LPS and spoke in a higher pitched happy almost squeely voice), but past that I can't exactly say I've been regressed... idk it's kinda just weird to know they've noticed and she opened the discussion by saying "please don't take offense" but we've noticed this behavior and recognize it's not on purpose. The second part of that last bit being paraphrased, but still...

I remember telling her a while ago and her questioning my doll collecting went from "huh?" to "whatever it makes you happy" to now being... ehhh. When I got my mini grumpy bear (see doll account @/dollie219 for recent post) I showed him to mom and told her the bears that were left, her immediate reaction was to ask if I'd wanted any others and being willing to walk with me to get more. Note this was in Target, she hates target due to being dragged around there all the time when I was a kid for the holiday set ups and toy aisles in the back of the stores. I had bought the stuff I got while she wasn't in the store so she wouldn't have to go through it and the moment something so small was mentioned she offered to let me run back and get more. I appreciate it, but I'm just kinda confused. I talked with her a while ago about needing to limit my doll collection and getting rid of some before getting more, then going against this for the 2 decora girlz cause it was money from grandma for my bday (so automatically it doesn't count), and now she's saying she's enjoyed buying dolls with me and stuff. Even when we went to Walmart wanting to rush home cause we couldn't dawdle due to groceries she still asked if I wanted to check our the doll aisles.

Maybe I spent too much time ranting to her about my research on diff dolls, maybe her meds are really working this time, I don't know but it's weird and I am wholly unprepared for such positive reaction.

I know this sounds like a weird thing to rant/vent about, but she's "seen the signs" for 2 YEARS and decided to mention it cause she vaguely remembered me explaining it before and wanted to see if I knew I was doing it. I was gonna bring up being a system to her, nuh uh not this trip she was the one to drop news on me.

[perriedoestheirbest]

Pin post cause I wanna set ground rules before I do anything on here

Updated: 11/4/2024 :3

I spell things wrong and grammar is atrocious but please remember I am doing my best as my user handler suggests

Make sure to read the DNI part, that part’s important

I will give you a gold star if you manage to get through this

You ready? Mkay.

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

- Main info

Hi! I’m perry, it’s short for Peregrine :3

I’m a minor

I change a buncha stuff nothing is final

I follow and like interact with likes from my main but I ALWAYS reblog before any of that.

I don’t rlly like the idea of ppl finding my main but those who dig enough, it’s not hard to find.

I support Palestine so already off the bat if you don’t like it, you can leave. I try to keep this a positive space but stuff like supporting Palestine are important no matter the situation. I previously said I’d make a mini post for links on how to support the cause but this is an agere account, and I felt like that’d be too uptight. Still, Free Palestine. No matter the blog. :>

I study psychology and some history for fun.

I really enjoy theories, analyzing things, and headcanons

I usually enjoy horror but in this blog, this is my safe spot where I can take a breather from that stuff cause it’s nice to take a break every once in a while :]

Please be patient with me :>

I find a lot of comfort in nostalgia so I’ll either reblog stim boards or stuff from early 2010’s. Rarely anything else but I’ll indulge in art and fanfiction too if it’s safe for work.

I’m still pretty clueless about the tagging system and will mess up so telling me about it helps loads

I’m trans, transmasc, and genderfluid, I go by he/him or they/them, and I’m also on the a-spec!^^

This blog was originally made for Agere, but because I’m unfamiliar with Agere accounts on tumblr especially it’s gonna take me a hot minute to really post anything, and I most likely won’t.

I do dream regression (idk if that’s the correct term, I’m still new to this). I try to actually regress but it’s hard, so I don’t have much of a small age. I’m still a minor, but my big age IS 10+

I’m interested in the indie film industry, and I enjoy art :3

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

- Extra info

My favorite color is pink! :]

I believe cringe culture is dead

I enjoy lemon demon and jack stauber and I make references of them a LOT.

I enjoy over analyzing everything so I’ll mostly reblog headcanons

This blog is completely sfw.

I like to ramble a lot, and tend to do so in tags

I enjoy mixed media of all kinds :>

I’m multifandom

I’m a multishipper, but I don’t usually ship in the fandoms I’m in due to creepy ships I come across so the ships I do enjoy are either very popular or never once heard of

I’m pretty inactive, and this is because I struggle with pretty bad social anxiety that tends to stop me from interacting with any sign of human life, but because I’m trying to cope, I’ll do my best

I’m a radical inclusionist so this is pretty much a safe space if you want it to be one

I’m an older brother

I’m also really weird

I might attempt to draw but I won’t draw often.

Cringe culture is pretty much dead and whoever is keeping cringe culture alive are clearly people who don’t belong on this blog or my main blog either

DMs are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS closed, again, I’m a minor and I’m uncomfortable interacting with strangers especially on the internet, if I DM you it’s either on accident or because I know you irl

I don’t talk much while I’m in this partial headspace so I don’t talk much. There won’t be much tags, and a very bad tagging system, or lack there of, I should say.

💫💫💫💫💫

- Tagging system so you know what to block or read

Perrie vents — venting tag

🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷

- Hyperfixations

CoD (MW2 and Cold War Black ops) (somehow, 18+ content CoD fans DNI!!!!)

Spiderverse Itsv & atsv

Death Note (the anime)

Attack on Titan (also the anime)

Sally face

Minecraft

Undertale

Underverse

Sans AUs

FNaF (the games and the movie)

DHMIS

Mr. Plant (by Ashur Gharavi)

Bugsnax

Fran bow

TF2/Team Fortress 2

Little misfortune

MCSM

Psychology

The paranormal

Gravity Falls

Analysis of any sort

Video essays

ARGs

Art

💤💤💤💤💤

⚠️‼️DNI‼️⚠️

Zi0n1sts

Z00philes

P3dophiles

R@cists

N@zis/neo N@zis (lmk if I need to update this part cause it’s been awhile since I last did research on this)

NSFW

LGBTphobes

MAP (not the art collab but the other thing)

Anti-antis

Proshippers/comshippers

Shotacons (of any variant, I’m just using this one as an example cause this is the one I remember)

Furry haters/Anti-furrys

Anti-therians/therian haters

AB/DL

DD/LG (of any variant.)

K1nk blogs

Transmed

Radical exclusionists

Anti-age/pet regression

Able1sts

Anti-xenogenders/neopronouns/xenopronouns(<- do we still use this term or was this never a thing?)

Man, that was a long list. Hope that didn’t overwhelm you.

I know there’s a lot but I can’t fully relax without knowing there’s some wall rigidly keeping me from being face to face with actual creeps and strangers I don’t know, so this is my version of a safe space and stability.

💥💥💥💥💥

The end.

I’ll update the main info or extra info if I need too, but this is mostly it for now.

Did you read it? Did you read all of it?

If so, here is a gold star.

⭐️

like I promised :3

[animeangsteng]

A bad day (college AU)

▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : A bad day (College AU)

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⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎… ⋙

Warning: mini friendly theft, stress cooking, stressful/irritating day (implicit)

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College AU!

Student! Mikey x Student! Reader + Student! Smiley x Student! Reader

The reader and they have a bad day.

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First of all: sorry I wrote Mikey too ‘cause I the first time I read Mikey in the first part of your ask and Smiley in the second so I did both.

And now that I’m writing this blurb and the warnings I just noticed you wrote Smiley.

And now I remembered our chat.

Sorry I’m a bit of a mess.

If I got it wrong feel free to tell me and I’ll fix it!

.

<Remember to take your time>

Yeah I just got inspired a lot by it.

Especially because I had quite a bad day today so yeah.

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<Either way I’m sure it will be amazing tbh I love your content>

🥺🥺🥺

I love you too!

I love your interactions so pls don’t disappear after this!

I beg you.

And Idk about the amazing but I hope you like it!

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<Thank you a lot again, and I congratulate you on another milestone of 300! Keep it up, you awesome person 🙌>

Thank you on the congratulations and the compliment!

I’ve began queuing some things to be able to focus and I should have enough pieces until May if I post once every 4 days but we all know I won’t 😂🥲.

.

<I just wanna squish Smiley to death>

Who doesn’t?

Or Angry.

Or both.

Or all of Toman, honestly.

These guys needs hugs.

And a therapist.

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250 Followers celebration here!

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█ █ █ █ █ 100% *Tuning complete*

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@killerqueen-tr

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Mikey

-Huff- he sighed, throwing himself over you.

Just from that you understood he had a bad day.

He always acted like that when he did.

Not like yours had gone much better.

-Hey! You're heavy, Mikey!!!- you jokingly protested as he slid off you.

As you took your shoes off and put them away he kept whining: -Y/n-chaan!-.

Shaking your head in amusement you went and joined the blonde man-child on the couch.

With a sigh he laid his head on your lap.

Almost automatically you began stroking his hair like usual.

Humming he nuzzled against you.

There was no need for words.

He just laid there, free of any pressure, as you comforted him.

And he knew you'd tell him what and when you felt like it.

Almost scared to break the silence you whispered underbreath, just enough for him to hear: -Today my professor got mad 'cause most of the class failed the class-.

Slowly he chuckled: -She's so mean!-.

Hearing his childish tone you giggled: -She is-.

And so you two spent most of the afternoon enjoying each other's company in silence, at times interrupted by small chats and laughter.

It was nothing extraordinary but, for you two, it was enough.

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Smiley

Frowning.

Smiley was frowning.

You had just gone back from lessons to Nahoya's dorm when you found your boyfriend playing videogames with a frown.

For a moment you almost mistook him for Angry, though he didn't have the blue hair.

As soon as he saw you he got up and smiled a bit: -Hey!-.

-Bad day?- you asked, knowing full well the annswer.

He nodded and began to walk towards the kitchen as you washed your hands and out on an apron, soon followed by him.

Smiley readily began to take ingredients out of the fridge.

-The test sucked and Souya failed his exam. Then Mikey stole the bento you made me- he began ranting, going on about the irritating thing that happened to him.

In the mean time you two cut and cooked all the kinds of Ramen you two knew.

And they were a lot.

Luckily you always kept the ingredients there in case of bad days, such as this.

As he finished ranting about his day he looked at you with a much more relaxed and genuine smile, letting you to vent.

And, sure, stress-cooking wasn't the most common or economic way to destress (especially since you two always emptied the dorm's fridge) but you two enjoyed it and that was what mattered.

Not to mention that your roommates surely didn't seem to mind.

.

As your friends ate the banquet you prepared, you pulled Nahoya in a bear hug, squeezing him from behind.

-Do you feel better now?- you asked as he gently turned to hug you back.

Without uttering a word he hid his head in the crook of your neck and slowly nodded: -Yeah. Thanks. What ‘bout you?-.

After he felt you confirm that you felt better too he just kept hugging you for a while before chuckling: -You’re gonna squeeze me to death, Y/n-.

-Sorry- you apologised, not sorry at all and most certainly not letting him go.

-‘S fine- he shrugged, simply letting the both of you hug out the last remnants of stress, tiredness and anger.

-Do we have to let go now?- you murmured.

-My arms are ‘bout to fall off!- he joked.

-Do we really have to?- you asked again.

-Yep- he confirmed.

-Okay- you replied, not moving one bit.

Great.

Now he was the one that had to get out of your hug.

And that meant only one thing: tickles!

[bcdwhcre]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CM7CwRZivBM/?igshid=1soaxz00n5171 I CAN GET THE LEVI PART OF THIS REEL OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY GOD. Just imagine the reader being part of Levi's squad, and she's talented but think Levi's condescending towards people, especially to her. The others say she's just imagining it and that the captain is always like that but the reader's always getting into spats with him. "I seriously don't like the position of of being his metaphorical punching bag." he hears her say one day and Levi has enough. As soon as she's free, Levi calls her to his office and they talk. Things escalate in another fight and before she knows it, Levi has her pinned against the wall "Do you like this position?" he says as he kisses her, her neck, her cheeks. As they move towards his desk or bed, he keeps repeating "Do you like this position?" He'll teach her a thing or two, if you catch my drift👀😶. How you end it is up to you! And if you don't want to write it, that's okay!

“Positions,” Levi x Reader

Summary: (bro idk how to summarize this pls.) always bickering with your Captain because you don’t like the way he belittles you and it turns into a bigger argument.

Warnings: Smut!!! towards the end.

Levi x Fem!Reader

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It had been a rough few weeks for the Scouts after finding out about Reiner and Bertholdt and not being able to catch them in time and after coming back from the expedition where the scouts tried to capture them again, leading in many deaths including the Commander, it made things incredibly worse.

It had been two weeks since that incident and everyday since Levi did not take it easy on his cadets and you had felt personally attacked and picked on everyday from him during training or during exercises.

At first it was small, he would tell you to try harder or do a little more. He would claim you were acting lazy, not meeting his standards and that made you catch an attitude with him because you felt like you were doing more than enough.

You were always grateful and appreciative to be under Levi considering how strong and talented he was, you actually learned a lot from him and everyone had known you as “Levi’s Mini” but that didn’t stop him from pushing you harder.

Many times it had led to you bickering with him, which ended up with you cleaning or doing rough work outs around the base to satisfy his needs on teaching you a lesson but you never learned, you continued having arguments with him from left to right.

One day you had been more stressed than usual and Levi picking on you and pushing you during the early morning training session had irritated you way more than it should have and during lunch, you started to rant to your friends at the table.

“Levi is doing this shit on purpose, last week I was cleaning horse shit for days just because I didn’t meet his standards.” You groaned, taking a bite out of your food and they just nodded their heads.

“Well, you did start an argument with him.” Armin said, making you shoot him a glare and he grew quiet as he ate his food.

“I think he just personally hates me, he doesn’t do anything to you guys.” The weight of getting picked out of all the cadets had crushed down on you heavily, almost suffocating you.

“You’re just imagining it, he picks on all of us.” Eren rolled his eyes, bringing up the times Levi has easily beaten him down and kicked him in the face.

“No, I’m not just imagining it.”

It started to grow quiet again, the sounds of chewing and forks hitting the glass plates as all the scouts had eaten their food and after they were done, they stay seated at the table to talk some more before they had to go do what was assigned to them around the base.

Levi was walking down the hallway, about to walk pass the door to the mess hall until he had heard your voice say his name a few times. It caused his curiosity to make him freeze in place and try to listen to the conversation as you rambled and vented about how he was only bullying you out of everyone.

He had rolled his eyes at you throwing a fit over something you had started. You were always the one to talk back to Levi first and start the arguments and he felt the need to put you in your place to know who was superior- it was him.

“I seriously don’t like the position of being his metaphorical punching bag.” You said loud enough that he heard it through the door and it caused his eyebrows to raise in amusement.

“You’re overthinking it, Y/N.” Armin spoke again, making you huff out a breath and continue on about how you weren’t dreaming or overthinking it.

Soon enough the day had went on as it always did. You went around to do was assigned to you including stupid cleaning chores that Levi always insisted that you should do and it only aggravated you more than before.

He had watched you almost all day, making sure you weren’t having another fit but also to wait until you had some time to come to his office and talk to him about your tantrum you threw in the mess hall. Your words had replayed in his mind repeatedly and he was growing impatient.

So Levi had went outside to where you were finishing up, making a dramatic huff leave your lips when you saw him- automatically assuming he was going to rain hell and assign you more pointless things to do.

“I need to speak to you in my office.” He said plainly, making you fully stop and glance over at him before simply nodding your head.

You didn’t want to say anything or start up another argument, you would honestly hate to do so especially when you were in too much heat already from arguing with him the other day so doing it again would only make matters worse.

After you had followed him down to his office and closed the door behind you, his cold stare had burned right through you which made you a bit uneasy inside, afraid what he has plotting inside of his head.

“Honestly, Y/N, I’m getting real sick and tired of your shit.” He wasted no time to say to your face, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“What the hell did I do this time to have you hate me?” The tone in his voice had already struck a nerve, instantly making you angry.

“You stomp in here and act like you run things when you’re nothing but a cadet. You need to watch that filthy mouth of yours before I tell you to pack your shit and leave.” He practically spat in your face, his words were harsh and brutal but nothing you’ve heard from him before.

“You pick on me every single day and torture me while the others get to do what they want. How the fuck is that fair?”

The bickering between you two had gone back and forth for minutes, the two of you shooting daggers at each other through words and it only made things heat up in seconds. Both of you were fed up with each other and it was evident that Levi wanted to kick you down on the floor and remind you who is the Captain and who is the Cadet in the situation.

He never grew so frustrated over a cadet before, he’s taught plenty of people and had plenty under his team but you were something else. He looked at you as some spoiled brat who thinks they can get want they want in a blink of an eye.

He sighed under his breath, bringing up his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and soon stood from his seat. You stood across the office, angry and upset again over something so small and stupid- just because your Captain felt the need to remind you of your position.

But this time Levi had enough of your attitude and your bickering and complaining, it was tiring to hear it every single day over the smallest things and it was clear that cleaning and doing harsh exercises wasn’t going to teach you a lesson you needed to be taught.

He had walked over to where you stood, the both of you the same height so it was easy for him to look straight ahead at you and stare right through you, making you grow uneasy again but on the outside you kept that cold look like he does.

He was quick to shove you against the wall behind you, his hand grabbing a hold of your chin and keeping you in place as a soft unexpected gasp left your lips from the impact. You were a bit stunned for a second, your wide eyes staring into his dark ones and a small smirk had appeared on his face.

“Do you like this position instead?” He mumbled, referring to what you had said earlier in the mess hall and it made you realize he had heard your pointless rant.

He didn’t wait for you to answer his question, instead he smashed his lips on yours. The kiss was rough at first, Levi wanting to show dominance and teach you a lesson or two about talking back and bickering with him constantly.

When you tried to move your hands up to wrap around his neck, his hands were quick to grab yours and pin them against the wall above your head. He wasn’t going to let things slide so easily and let you do what you want in this specific situation, not on his watch.

“Or do you like this position?” His words were muffled against your swollen lips, almost whining in his mouth as he practically devoured you.

He was still pissed off at you, he was mad to the point where he knew after this- you probably wouldn’t be able to do chores or training tomorrow. Eventually he had pulled back from your mouth, licking his own lips and yanking you off the wall while remaining a tight grip on your wrists.

His feet had moved, pulling you with him all the way to his desk and threw stuff off to bend you over it, pressing the side of your face down on the hard wood. He was over taking it easy on you and over trying to reason with your sour attitude everyday. A simple few kicks to the face worked for Eren yet with you, no matter what happens, you always continue to fight with him.

He had looked over at the uniform that you wore, grabbing the waistband of your pants and tugging them down in an instant, letting it pool around your ankles for the time being as he kept one hand holding your wrists behind your back and the other hand hovering over your ass.

“Or do you like this position, brat?” He said quietly, his eyes shooting down and looking at yours as your face began to get flustered.

“Levi,” You had started to say but once his name had slipped out of your mouth, he instantly raised his hand and brought it down on your bare skin, making your body jolt against the desk.

“Try again.”

“Captain.” You barely managed to stutter out, your skin burning from the impact but he was rubbing his hand over it, soothing it over.

You were stunned at what was happening inside of his office right now. Just a moment ago you two were arguing and just an hour ago you two hated each other and you were stuck doing chores because you had talked back to him and now you were bent over his desk.

You weren’t really complaining but it was hard to wrap your head around it when you two have always bickered and fought with one another over the smallest things.

Levi’s sudden actions of pulling you up off the desk and forcing you to face him, his hand grabbing your chin and forced you to connect eyes with him as a small smirk appeared on his face at how red and flustered yours was.

He didn’t even say a word, instead he reached up to undo the tie around his neck and removed it, his eyes never leaving yours and soon enough he was ripping your uniform off your body until you were bare and naked in front of his eyes.

“All that crap you were talking earlier today about how I put you in a position of being my personal punching bag and now...” He trailed off, the snarky attitude in his voice as his hands grabbed yours and tied them behind your back with his tie.

“I’m actually going to put you in a position where you’ll be my punching bag all night long and we’ll see how long you last, hm?” He had tried to not chuckle or laugh but he couldn’t help the fact that he wanted to.

You didn’t even bother to say a word to him, you stayed quiet as he tied your wrists together and turned you back around and bent over his desk in front of him. He had hummed to himself at the sight of you, something he had been imagining to himself for quite some time.

Levi had licked his lips again, spreading your legs apart with his leg and looked down at the hand print that was clearly visible on your skin from a moment ago and it had made him raise his hand to lay down another smack to your already sensitive skin. You had jolted forward again, a yelp slipping out.

He groaned under his breath, trying to hold himself back from taking you the way he wanted to right now. He wanted to take his time with you and teach you a lesson with the smart attitude you always have but the way you looked, you being completely submissive and weak before him, it made him grow weak himself.

He yanked your body up by the tie around your wrists and tugged you towards his bedroom that was connected to his office, kicking the door shut behind him and pushing you down on the bed on your back. He had adjusted the tie to move your arms above your head and tied to the headboard.

“How about this? Do you like this position?” He mumbled, his lips trailing sloppy kisses from your jawline down to your neck.

His movements had made you squirm beneath his body and soft breaths had left your lips, feeling yourself grow more impatient every minute that passes but Levi didn’t mind taking all night to prove his point to you, everything goes his way.

His fingers had brushed along your bare skin, dragging all the way down to your thigh before he firmly grabbed onto it and squeezed it all while his teeth were biting your neck, leaving multiple bite marks and bruises on your soft skin.

It was slowly starting to get unbearable to handle, the more time passed, the more impatient you got and tried to move your body as close to his as possible even if your wrists were tied up. He noticed your desperate attempts for more of his touch and it had made his big ego grow more, knowing what he was doing to you was going the way he wanted it to.

“Whats wrong? You want more, brat?” He taunted you, teasing you with a big smirk on his lips and you groaned under your breath, your eyes moving away from his but he was quick to grab your chin and force you to look up at him.

“Tell me, do you deserve to be touched after everything you’ve done the last few weeks? Do you deserve to be fucked like a good girl?” His voice was low and quiet but it was clear enough to hear every word he had said.

Slowly, you begin to nod your head, trying to move your hands but realizing they were still tied together and that only frustrated you more but he was set on making you learn and set on torturing you for testing his patience everyday.

“I’ll do anything.” You mumbled, making his eyebrows raise in amusement and curiosity at the same time.

“Anything? Like what, hm?” He was intrigued to hear any offers you had plotted inside your head but honestly, you had none- you just wanted the teasing to be over with.

It grew quiet again, you didn’t know what to say next and he had caught on to what you were trying to do. His hand had let go of your chin, trailing back down your naked body until he had decided to dip his hand between your legs and get a feel for himself, wanting to see just how bad you wanted it, just how far you can go.

It wasn’t long till his rough fingers were rubbing soft circles on your clit, his eyes burning into yours while his tongue had brushed over his dry lips. He could feel just how desperate you were and how badly you wanted to be touched down there, it fueled something inside of him to take it further but he wanted to test your limits.

You had roughly tugged at the tie that was around yours wrists, the headboard creaking in the process and he started to chuckle under his breath, pressing his fingers against you more firmly, making sure you felt every little touch. You had tried to pry your legs shut, that only made Levi push them back open as he settled between them.

“I want to hear you beg or else I could do this all night, pleasuring you to the brink of cumming and pulling away till you’re in tears.” You couldn’t believe just how casual and soft his voice was, the amused look on his face had turned into a more serious one.

A lump had started to form in your throat, stunned and not knowing what to really say. You were so far into your own thoughts that you didn’t realize he had gotten down to bury his face between your legs, his tongue licking a stripe up through your folds, making a sudden moan slip out of your mouth and his eyes had moved to look into yours when you met his gaze.

“I’m waiting or do you want me to stop?” He tilted his head, sinking his teeth into your thigh gently, making you buck your hips up out of impulse.

The stubbornness you had was glued to the front of your brain, you hated to give him exactly what he wanted- it’ll only feed onto his superior ego more but the way he was working you and the way you were practically desperate for any sort of touch from him, you knew you had to do it his way to get your way. A soft huff escaped your lips, tilting your head down to stare into his lustful eyes.

“Please, Captain.” You started to speak, watching his eyebrows raise and the amusement plastered on his face as he squeezed onto your thighs, waiting for you to continue.

“I’ll do anything just for you to fuck me. Please stop teasing.” The sudden whine that slipped out of your parted lips had made him almost throb, his skin growing hot and his fingertips digging into your skin.

“Hm, I guess you’ve been through enough teasing huh brat?” He slowly started to trail kisses back up your body until he was fully hovered over you again, his free hand caressing your cheek.

“But let’s not forget I’m here to teach you a lesson on talking back to me.”

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,

I made this long enough so I’m splitting this into 2 parts. Here’s the first one. Sorry for being so absent and distant. Everything had gone to hell after losing my childhood dog and school is almost over so finals and all this crazy shit but I’m trying.

I love and miss y’all <3

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[suspiciouslypinkrosegarden]

this feels selfish but... I kind of just want someone's undivided attention for once.. I want to feel important and special in a way that's different to others for them, I don't have to be anyone's top priority or their favourite person,,

Idk man sometimes playing mysme makes me feel good but then lonely realising no one sees me the way they do, and even with friendships, I guess in the past I've always had a mutual best friend and they've all drifted for various reasons, now I have lots of close friends but I'm probably not all that particularly special to anyone...

I'm sorry this is lowkey turning into a mini vent😩 it feels silly but could I please have just a little comfort/attention from ge saeran?

First off, I understand on many notes. I’ll let Saeran do the comforting 🫂

———————————————————————

Saeran’s familiarly melodic voice met your ears, calling your attention like the chime of a pleasant bell. You felt him plop down on the sofa next to you.

“My love? You’ve been swaddled in those blankets for a while now…can you tell me what’s wrong?”

He caught you, not that your silent distancing wasn’t a dead give away that you weren’t feeling alright.

Something about now finally living with Saeran meant he had the opportunity to become the most observant of partners. He could pick up on almost everything now, from your little happy habits to well…moments like this. You couldn’t be more grateful for him, so you decided it best not to make him play a guessing game.

“I suppose I’m feeling a bit lonely today is all…a bit unimportant. I wonder if I’m on other’s minds…friends that have come and gone..stuff like that.”

Now, you just told Saeran, the man who finds himself floating on clouds in heaven in your presence alone, that you felt unimportant. He’s not insensitive, of course, he understands the feeling little too well actually, but it took a lot out of him not spit out “uh huh, because you’re absolutely not the most important part of my every waking moment”.

Instead, you felt his hand gently rest on your back, rubbing in a slow up down motion.

“Hmm, I can at least say one thing for certain. Firstly, I’m always here if you’re lonely, and I’m sure the RFA and my crazy brother can say the same. Friends do come and go, true, but you have us right now. And…well…”

He paused for a moment as if thinking deeply.

“Can you allow me to show you how important you are to me today?”

He brought your hand up to his lips, lightly kissing the cold metal of the ring placed on your left ring finger.

You felt yourself light up a tad at his suggestion.

“And how do you plan to do that, my Prince Charming?”

He could tell by the tone of your voice you were just excited to hear what he had to say.

“Oh, I have plenty of ideas. We have that large tub to fill up where I can ready you a flowery bath and wash your hair for you, or this fireplace we can curl up by to watch your favorite movie, or all those ingredients to make your favorite sweets, and don’t forget the garden we can hold hands in as we walk through-”

You giggled. Small, thoughtful acts of service is definitely a love language of his.

“How about we find a way to get in every single one of those suggestions.”

Saeran let out a happy chuckle.

“Then we better get started straight away. There’s a lot I’d like to do for you.”

You both silenced your phones as he happily doted on you the entirety of the day. It’ll be his turn next, you thought to yourself.

[ur-illogical-simp]

MTMTE personalities / characteristics from someone who never read MTMTE.

spoilers btw, also these r all from what I got from the fanfiction, and fan art(etc) I've seen so yeah...

Rodimus: A cute but dumbass captain twink, who gets talked(looked) down upon bc hes not like Optimus Prime, and for being "immature"(I call bs)

Tailgate : a smol but strong minibot that has a stoic ex-con boyfriend

Cyclones : stoic mf who friends with a chaotic ass bitch and got turned into a autobot by a cute ass minibot

Swerve; a cute & funny bartender who is also depressed. And is also friends with Skids aka the vent rat. And apparently obsessed with human things

Whirl: an ex-wrecker, who liked making watches before going through Empurata, who now goes to therapy and regularly gets put in the brig(?) for being a chaotic mf

Rung : apparently hes primus??? I like his goggles, a very cute therapist. Idk why ppl forget his name its easy af to remember

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus; hes a small green boi inside a big ass frame/body thing. I like his mustache, but he has a huge stick up his ass. And apparently hes apart of the "tyrest acord" idk what that is

Megatron: a ex-con warlord leader who apparently swore pacifism???? At least he regretted his actions(took him long enough), he likes poetry and I vibe with that

Tyrest: a primus obsessed bottom, I kinda feel bad cuz he punishes him self since he thinks he's not being prefect in the eyes of primus

Ratchet; a grumpy medic who reminds me of TFP ratchet due to personality and design. Like tailgate also has a cute con bf. He's good with guns

Drift: also an ex-con with an autobot bf, I read his 4 issue comic and I vibe with him, he's cute af and would totally pet the things on the side of his head. He seems very cat liked ngl

Ten: a tall ass mech, who likes Mags, and making things. He's very cute

Brainstorm: a chaotic science nerd, who simps for Percy, and i think tried to save his crush by creating the multiverse and going back in time ig???, makes cool ass weapons

Preceptor: also a science nerd who prob keeps brainstorms inventions in check, he's very cute i like the lil mini gun thing on his shoulder

Red Alert: haven't seen much about him, but hes cute and the chief security officer

Trailbreaker; dunno much bout him but hes cute

Chromedome; hes very cute! And is conjuxes(married) to rewind i believe.

Rewind: hes also cute

Skids: hes a gremlin who lives in the LL vents, and is buddies with swerve

Gateway - someone who tired to kill Roddy apparently, and the ship??? He's kinda cute but If I met him irl its on site :)

Overlord: a mf with some big ass lips and is butt hurt Megatron never paid any attention to him despite his efforts, he murder some important characters(idk who), he has some big ass lips and hes kinda handsome would totally sleep in his shoulder cones

Tarn: a Megatron stan, who is also the leader of the DJD, and has a sexy ass voice, and apparently is sexy enough to torture ppl with. He's cute I like his face

Kaon: the cybertronian equivalent to an electric eel, apparently his alt mode is a electric chair which is pretty rad ! when your not the victim at least, unless your into it

Vos; a fucking gremlin with a face that has a viraity of nail things. And he puts them on ppl👁👄👁, which is terrifying but hes cute so it kinda makes up for it??? Hes also has a sniper alt mode which makes my hunter heart go boom(snipers r my go too weapon in d2)

Helex; a walking furnace apparently. I think his tiny arms are pretty rad ! would hold if he didn't try to kill me

Tesarus - has some cool ass blades in the middle of his chest. Its fucking terrifying, and I feel bad for his victims. But he looks cool

Nickel: she's like the over protective friend in the group???? She would totally be the most terrifying to piss off

The Pet: apparently this guy in a turbo fox which i think is pretty rad. But what's not rad is that he used to be a person so that kinda sucks :/, would cuddle tho

Sunder : I like this mf, though he scares the absolute shit out of me when he does his mortis shit or whatever. But hes pretty cute! Would give a snuggle

Trepan: haven't seen much about him, but hes rlly cute, I like his frame and color pallet the most honestly. I feel bad since he got kidnapped by OL

[starshineden]

Yet another vent post so like yeet yknow

[daggryet]

Yeah for me this stream was like better than I hoped as well. I enjoyed how Techno treated Dream with the same nonchalance and disregard as he did with other stuff (aka Tommy, Dream's crimes in general, etc.) However like I'm so afraid that this is going to culminate in a repetition of Techno's other arcs despite him literally not caring. Like if it goes from "this is a vacation" to like utter havoc and vengeance with no buildup I'm going to be upset. I was hoping this prison arc would end up being a small revelation to Technoblade that like. Dream is a bad person. That maybe his lack of remorse for his actions ended up having a consequence. That there was a reason Tommy never would've teamed with Dream and Technoblade. Idk maybe it's a lot to ask for though.

(Also this like a mini-vent so if it bothers you or anything you dont have to post it but I'd love to hear your thoughts!)

okay, so, yesterday i would have been very positive about where this storyline was going. saying that it seemed like they'd found a semi-good balance between the heavier themes of the storyline and incorporating c!technoblade into already written story lines (when cc!technoblade doesn't want to do heavy lore)

and i, of course, want to believe that is going to continue. mostly because i am begging them to have c!technoblade discover c!dream's hall of attachments and be told of his plans, both from before and after the prison (becoming immortal, figuring out the secrets of death, destroying everything - that's kinda textbook villainous tyrant things), and that means c!techno could be opposing c!dream without them needing to, in detail, say what happened to c!tommy - what c!dream did to c!tommy (even though the cc!techno viewers are among those who really need to be reminded of it, but cc!techno doesn't want to handle the heavier themes - and that's alright)

the stream was everything i dared hope for, there was no c!technoblade is pitying c!dream and vows to fight the world for him, and all that c!dream apologist babble; and i hope that it continues like that

however

it may Seem that maybe it's not the best stream to represent where the characters are headed.

i'm hoping that c!technoblade won't, next stream, want to fight everyone on c!dream's behalf, punish them, and just vow doomsday 2.0 - that what was set up this stream in terms of their dynamic and priorities (c!techno wanting info on the book of undying and break c!dream out as according to the favor, and c!dream wanting to hear about c!tommy and lying by omission about... everything) is gonna continue

but ehhh yeah my fear is that this stream was about stalling and that next stream we'll see a very different dynamic

(please don't fight for c!dream, c!techno, when you know so much of the bad things he's done. i know you dont know what he'd do to you, but you know a lot of what he's done. he's everything that's against your ideals, power doesn't only exist in an institution, c!techno please don't fight for him)

[britswriting]

Desire (17)

Desire masterlist

Read on Wattpad

A/N: I use an example of  age-gap, I don't care what age y'all are. If you're happy, that's all that matters. I just used a minor age and the age Colby would be turning next as an example since if you're under 18, it's pretty frowned upon.

TW: Small mention of religion

A/N: I think I fixed it? Gemma will be four months this chapter. For some reason I thought she as going to be 3? Listen. clearly idk how tf to count because I had this issue tracking Leighton's pregnancy. Gemma was born November 25th, it is now March 25th timeline wise lol I think part of it is I went through February so fast, and I'm not used to having to keep track of months for milestones lol

*Colby's POV*

"So what is your plan now?" Sam pondered aloud and I sighed, shrugging.

"I don't know man. I feel so conflicted and frustrated. I want to respect her wishes.. but I can't help but feel like this is wrong. Like she's just giving up. Like it's the easy way out"

"I highly doubt this was the easy way out. Dude, she's in fucking rehab. I don't think any of her decisions are made out of impulse. But who knows, I don't live inside her head"

I let out a deep breath, allowing my body to fall back against the office chair, "I'm worried she's going to push herself away"

"Why?"

"Because she isn't happy here. All she can talk about is going home.. I feel like she's going to have enough, and take Gemma and go home. I just...-" I groaned, pinching my lips with my fingers before looking over at Sam desperately, "I've literally never felt like this before. Every bone in my body wants this.. and I don't want to miss my opportunity all because we're afraid. It's a load of crap" I vented.

"You can't force someone to like you Colby" he chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"She's the one who said it first!"

"She said she thinks she likes you. You were really given an inch and ran a mile" Sam joked and I felt like I was punched in the gut.

"Do you think?"

"Colby, I say you just do what she says in the sense of letting it go. Take a breather"

"How am I supposed to take a breather when I'm literally babysitting her child"

"Colby.... are you babysitting Gemma to get in with Leigh's good graces? Is this some sort of like blackmail shit?" my best friend asked me, scratch that, accused me.

"What?! No!" I defended, the chair snapping forward as my body flung upwards.

"Colby.." Sam sighed and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?"

"You're way past friendship aren't you? You're attached" He said and my brows furrowed.

"No" I replied a little too quickly.

"Didn't you guys agree to do this whole date thing before she went to rehab?" He asked and I nodded slowly, my desktop screen going black causing me to shake the mouse.

"Yeah. I was excited to do that.. the idea of doing fun stuff together made me excited. I just... I want to hang out with her alone"

"Someone's got a crush" He teased and I scoffed, crossing my arms over my bare chest.

We talked for a little while more before Sam said "Fuck it, let's just go have fun. Baby G turns 4 months tomorrow, and I know Katrina has some big plans" which lead us to now, Kat bossing me around as to what to dress Gemma in.

"She has to be cute for our photos!" Kat declared, tossing articles of baby clothes at me that she had gotten yesterday.

Kat ended up making us all do a mini photoshoot for Gemma's four month photos, all of us coordinating somehow.

About halfway through, Gemma was done.

"Kat, no more photos. She's going to hate you" I lectured, Gemma wailing and wiggling in my grasp.

"She was smiley in them though!" Kat showed me her phone, Sam and I kissing Gemma's cheeks; a big grin on her face.

Leighton told me she started to smile more, and we were determined to get her to do it, yet every time we tried, she looked at us like we were insane.

"Before we know it she's going to be crawling all over this place" Sam chuckled, passing me Gemma's blanket.

"Someone needs a nap" I murmured, climbing the stairs, listening to her cry into my ear.

Thankfully sleeping has been going pretty well. After my night from hell the first night, Leighton sent me a few voice notes of her "Talking to the baby" or softly singing and humming that I planned whilst having Gemma snuggled against my chest.

It's definitely been a learning curve, but I think by the end of the week we'll have it figured out.

If there was one perk I was learning from having a clingy baby, it's that you get to nap with the baby and no one can talk shit because she needed me.

~

"When do you think she'll start walking?" Sam asked, holding Gemma's waist as we let her stand on the blanket in our backyard.

"Dude, she's not even crawling yet" Kat laughed, shaking a baby toy to catch G's attention.

"I can feel it. She's going to be an overachiever for sure" Sam reassured and I chuckled, my arms wrapped around my knees as the California sun shined down on us.

"I feel like this clingy thing at bedtime is just a phase. I mean, she refuses to take a pacifier; she's already making choices for herself" I spoke aloud, my eyes locked on Gemma, who was locked on a stuffed animal toy Kat was moving.

"I don't know. I feel like she'd be a sweetheart. Like she'll have her sweet spot for people ya know?" Sam stated and I nodded in agreement.

Friday evening around 7:30 I pulled into the treatment center's parking lot, Gemma's little baby feet slamming against her car seat out of impatience.

"Okay okay, chill! We're going to go see mommy. Give me a second" I called back to the child, collecting a few of my things from the center console.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, chuckling to myself as I shut the car door.

"C'mere you little monster" I mumbled, unclipping her buckle and pulling her out. "Ready to go see mommy?" I asked, shutting the door and walking around the car, grabbing her diaper bag. "Yeah? I'm ready for you to see mommy too" I half joked, making my way towards the double doors.

I walked into the building, checking in as a visitor, the front desk lady fussing over Gemma, commenting on how cute she was. I gave her a soft thank you, shrugging the diaper bag back onto my shoulder.

I walked up the familiar steps, passing some sobbing people in the hallways.

That was awkward.

I knocked on Leighton's door, Gemma's fist slamming into my chest making me wince.

"You're a little feisty. I'm going to have baby fist sized bruises on my chest from you" I mumbled, kissing her cheek before hearing the door open.

"Oh my god! Gemma! Gimmie my baby!" Leighton squealed, her arms reaching out for her child.

I laughed, letting Leighton grab the child.

"Oh I've missed her" She breathed out, holding Gemma close to her chest. Leigh kissed the top of G's head before asking, "So, how's it been going?" which made me chuckle to myself again, shaking my head.

"It's been alright. We're in an adjustment period. She's unsure of Sam, her and Kat are becoming best friends, I think she thinks I'm trying to replace you, and she is for sure your child in more ways than one"

"What does that mean?" She laughed, letting me walk into the room, shutting the door behind me.

"She has a lot of you in her"

"Well I hope so, she came out of me" She snickered and I playfully rolled my eyes, watching her effortlessly move around the room.

"Has G smiled for you before?" I asked out of the blue, and she looked over at me weirdly.

I know Leigh has said that she's thought she has, but I couldn't remember for sure.

"Um... a few times.. but I think it was gas, why?"

I snickered at the comment, Leighton holding back her own smile, "She smiled for us yesterday" I told her and I watched her expression harden.

"Oh" She mumbled and I nervously gulped, her tone unsettling.

"Oh?" I questioned, watching her carefully.

"Yeah.. I just.. another thing I missed, right?" She exhaled and I mentally facepalmed.

Good job Colby.

"Hey, you haven't missed much, and we caught the smile on camera. Would you like to see?" I asked, fishing my phone out of my pocket.

Leighton quickly nodded, bouncing Gemma on her hip, something both of us are learning keeps her cries at bay.

"Kat wanted to take four month photos of Gem, and well" I showed her the photo Katrina sent to our group chat, Leighton smiling down at it.

"That's adorable. I truly am grateful to you guys. Thank you for keeping my baby safe and sound" She said softly, something I noticed she does when she's overwhelmed with emotion.

I let out an exhale, my eyes glancing towards the floor before back up at her, "Of course. I told you it was a privilege, and I meant it" She nodded, her eyes getting glossed over as she smiled down at Gemma.

"Gabe's been nice to you, yeah?" She asked and I nodded. "That's good. He's kept up on the calls?" She questioned, almost like she was testing him. I nodded, once again. "Good" she stated, looking back down at Gemma who was tugging on her shirt.

"I thought we said we'd be okay?" I queried and she gave me a weir look replying, "We are okay?"

"Then why is it every time something goes wrong, there's always this deafening silence?" I slightly argued, Leighton ignoring me as she cooed at Gemma, sitting down on the floor and pulling her favorite rattle out of the diaper bag. "Leigh?" I asked impatiently.

"It's not always about you Colby!" She snapped and I let my head roll back on my shoulders, closing my eyes. "I want to give my daughter attention. If you want to argue, we can argue later"

"I don't want to argue!" I argued back and she scoffed.

"You can go argue at the wall-" She started but I interrupted, "I already am!" which made her narrow her eyes at me.

"So what, precious little social media star doesn't get his way.. and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy? Why? Because I put myself first?-"

"You always put yourself first!" I argued back and her eyes widened a bit out of surprise and anger.

"That's not true! Me putting myself first, in fricken rehab, isn't selfish! I'm not being selfish by protecting myself, and my daughter!" She fought back and I could feel my muscles tense and the soreness in my head start to build as the frustration ate away at my core.

"What do you need protection from?! Me?" I accused and she didn't look up from me as she let Gemma play with her fingers

"I don't want to argue right now Colby. I want to see my daughter. If you can't respect that. You can go stand in the hall" She snapped before putting on a fake smiley face for Gemma, pulling her up to lean against her propped knees.

"You've gotten so big" She whispered, her nails softly grazing the baby's stomach, before leaning down and kissing her multiple times on her cheek.

I decided it would be best if I left the room to take a breather.

I knew now wasn't the right place, or time.. but I couldn't help it.

I was so tired, and frustrated at getting my hopes up. At thinking that maybe this will go somewhere, just to be slapped in the face with reality.

Could I really wait?

Did I want to wait?

Maybe she was right.

Maybe we should take dating off the table.

Maybe I do need to move on.

I walked back into the room, softly closing the door behind me.

I mumbled an apology, sitting down on the floor, leaning against her bed.

"Remind me to send you home with the breast milk. Did you pick any up from Cynthia?" She asked, glancing over at me, Gemma now laying on a blanket on the floor.

"No. I haven't talked to her since I dropped you off here"

"Your choice or?"

"Yeah"

"Why? Don't starve my baby Cole" She replied in a threatening tone and I pursed my lips, my eyes narrowing, "I'm not. Sam bought formula, plus, you just said you had breast milk to give me"

"I still don't understand why you couldn't have just gone to Cynthia's and gotten it"

"Oh my god, Leighton. It's because for some reason she's mad at me! She thinks I'm like stealing Gemma away or something, I don't know! Plus, it was 4am and I was in no state to drive there, argue with her, get the milk, and drive back. Not to mention either way I would've had to woken up Sam because I couldn't bring Gemma with. She'd be a distraction driving, especially with how tired I was" I explained in a snippy tone, my frustration building once again.

"Colby, do you want to keep doing this? Watching her I mean" She asked and my head started to spin.

"What? Of course!"

"Then why are you acting like it's a burden? You didn't have to do this. You offered! I said my family could watch her. I.. if you're tired, or if you need a break, just tell me. I don't want-"

"Leighton. I said I was going to do this. I'm doing it. Sam and Kat have helped. We'll be okay" I reassured her and she sighed, nodding.

"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. I.. I don't want you to regret this. I.. I'm sorry I keep going in circles. My mind's racing" She mumbled, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "Have you uh.. talked to your mom lately about Gem or I?" She asked, emotional exhaustion clear in the tone of voice.

"Not since the first night. I've texted her, yeah, but not about you or Gemma.."

"I'm uh.. I'm sorry for snapping at you the other day.. I just.. people don't like it ya know? They're very judgy. They judge you for having a baby so young, or out of wedlock. Not to mention I'm a recovering addict who landed back in rehab. I have a million reasons for her to hate me.. and I just.. you said she doesn't like me?" She asked, with sadness in her eyes as she looked at me.

"It's not that" I corrected and she pursed her lips. "She um.. She agrees with you. She's said some things you have. She thinks you're too young. Not in like oh I'm 25 dating a 16 year old. But you're 21. We both still have a lot to figure out still. I don't see you being someone that I want to play the field with. I don't want to date for 6 months just to break up and have it be considered a life lesson to learn and grow from. I think you agree with that?" I asked and she nodded. "I wouldn't say my mom doesn't like you, or that she's judging you.. just.. she doesn't want me getting hurt in the end since you're 21 and I'm 24. I think you both have a lot in common actually" I told her and she nodded, silence filling the room.

We didn't talk much. I think we both were a little stuck in our heads so when it was time to leave, it felt like I had a lot of unfinished business.

I didn't necessarily go in with an agenda, but I left feeling like I got nothing accomplished.

On Saturday I found myself sitting in Leighton's parent's family room, Gemma being fawned over by her grandparents.

It definitely felt weird to be here without her, but it wasn't a bad weird.

Her family treated me like they wanted me there, it was just weird to be alone, surrounded by her parents and sister.

"She's got a death grip on my shirt. When she chokes me to death" Lexi jokes, "She's Leigh's offspring for sure" she scoffs, prying the baby's grip off the collar of her sweater.

"So, how has it been going Colby?" Leighton's mom asked, curled up on the couch.

"It's been alright" I shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

How much was I allowed to say?

"Yeah? Leigh said Gemma was starting to sleep well, so that must be nice" She remarked and I couldn't hold back my scoff which made her snicker.

"That bad huh?" She asked and I sheepishly smiled.

"Sam threatened to buy earplugs" I muttered, Gemma, Leighton's mother, laughing.

"She gets it from her mom. Leigh was quite the little terror" She smiled fondly and I shook my head, chuckling in disbelief.

"So she sticks me with her nightmare child" I joked, Leigh's dad quietly chuckling.

"All the kids were pretty bad sleepers. I think Logan was our best. We really lucked out with the first one" He told me and I nodded, Lexi interrupting us as she gagged.

"Nah, she needs a diaper change" She held out Gemma making me roll my eyes.

"Change her then" I playfully shot back and she glared at me.

"Absolutely not. Auntie duties do not involve the duty" Lexi replied with a cocked eyebrow, staring me down.

"It's literally in the name" I laughed and she shot me daggers, holding Gemma, who was now looking like she was about to cry, out towards me.

"Here, let me change my grandbaby" Leigh's mom said, getting off the couch and grabbing baby G.

"Great. One less poopy diaper I have to change. This kid owes me when she's older" I muttered, Sebastian, Leigh's dad, chuckling at me.

"I'm sure Gemma will be very grateful towards you when you're older Colby" He commented and I gave him a tight lipped smile, not sure what to say. "So" He started and I mentally sighed, "Have any plans this summer? I've heard you're a pretty busy guy"

"Uh.. yeah. I um, I thought Leigh told you? My best friend Sam, and I, are taking Leighton, and hopefully Gemma, to Italy in June"

"Oh" he said in a surprised tone, making my heart beat a little quicker. "I didn't know. Leighton's got some family out in Italy" He noted and I nodded.

"Yeah. We, uh, planned on visiting them. She seemed to like the idea? She's nervous about bringing Gemma" I mentioned, and Sebastian rocked his head in a knowing manner.

"We could watch her?" He offered and I shook my head.

"Leigh wants her grandparents to meet Gemma"

I talked with her dad about our Italy trip, and found out that he and his in law's didn't get along.

"Why don't they like you? If you don't mind me asking"

"They didn't think I was good for Gemma. Gemma came here to America when she was quite young. Her parents are pretty old fashioned. Why I'm surprised Leighton wants to take my grandbaby to Italy"

"Old fashioned? As in doesn't like premarital sex, or a out of wedlock babies?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah. We had Logan quite young, and they always thought that was a bad idea. Then again, they started a family quite young, and I think it gave them a lot of setbacks. They weren't exactly rich, and then they had young kids and such. They're pretty traditional. Like things to go their way" He explained.

History really does repeat itself.

"Is that why you weren't angry with Leighton when you found out she was pregnant?" I asked and Sebastian let out a deep breath.

"I wouldn't say I wasn't angry. It just wasn't worth my breath to lecture her. I.. she's always been a bit... unpredictable, let's say. She was my baby girl when she was young. She hung out with me all the time.. but life got harder, our world got a little rockier, and she hasn't been the same since. I was more upset at her using, than falling pregnant... but maybe that's because I saw it coming. You hear stories ya know? Stories about addicts, and their fate. I didn't want that to happen to her. I didn't want her to become this cliché addict who ended up losing their life. She's cleaned up a lot ya know. She's maturing.. She's growing. I know she's going to become someone I can be proud of. I knew this would be good for her, even if it was going to be hard. Her mother and I... Well, I'll save that for another day. I um.." He paused, clearing his throat, "I was slightly disappointed in her, yes.. but, I could tell she needed this. I'm annoyed that Gabe is the father. I'm annoyed that he swindled his way into my daughter's life, yet again... but like I said, life gets rocky. We figured it out. There are a lot of things I wish fell differently, but I try to believe in fate. I try to think God has a plan. That things happen for a reason" He said, surprising me at the mention of religion.

"You believe in God?" I asked, nervous that I was treading on uncharted territory.

"I do" He confirmed.

"I do as well" I told him, a little surprised at myself opening up in that way. "I um.." I paused, unsure if this was something I should mention. "Is Gemma, your wife, religious?" I decided to ask, mentally facepalming at myself prying.

I couldn't out Leighton's religious beliefs though, could I?

"She is" He confirmed again and I decided to just bite the bullet and ask him.

"Did you raise Leighton religious?" I pried and he nodded, surprising me.

"Gemma wanted her to explore her options. Not be Christian, or Catholic or whatever just because we were.. but we always talked about a higher power whilst she was growing up"

How wasn't she religious?

"A happy, freshly changed baby is ready for her bottle" Leighton's mom said, walking into the room.

I prepped Gemma's bottle, handing it to Sebastian whilst Leighton's mom got started on dinner, Lexi talking our ears off.

When I got home from Leighton's parents house, our own home was eerily quiet.

I placed a blanket down on the tile near the kitchen, setting a few baby toys down before placing the somewhat energetic baby down.

"You stay there, got it?" I told her and she ignored me, her hands clutching a stuffed animal.

I texted Sam, asking if they were home before cleaning the baby bottles and Gemma's favorite rattle that had fallen to the floor of my car.

Sam texted back that he and Kat were in the home theater having a movie night, so I informed him that I was just going to go up to my room and that I'd see them in the morning.

"Come on, you need a bath. You smell" I told her, picking her up off the blanket. "Oh, no, you reek. God, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault you have what is probably spit up and breast milk in the creases of your skin. Don't you dare cry. We're going to have a bath, a bottle, and go to bed" I warned, watching her pouty lip form.

Gemma did in fact end up crying whilst I gave her her bath, putting her in a sleeper.

"You're going to be a brat tonight aren't you?" I asked her and the way her eyes twinkled, I knew I was in for a long night, and man was I right.

About 10:30 I had finished burping her and I started what I would consider our nighttime routine. We sat in my bed and I rocked her a bit whilst playing Leighton's audio tapes, but it wasn't working like it had the previous nights.

"Come on G, you need to go to bed" I murmured into her ear, now pacing my bedroom, something I was getting pretty familiar with lately.

11pm rolled around, and I found myself sitting on the floor, changing her diaper as she squirmed around, making it extremely difficult.

"You're supposed to be tired. Didn't you have a long day at your grandparents? How are your eyes still open?" I asked the four month old, placing the final tab down on her diaper.

"Come here you little monster" I sighed, picking her up. "Why are you crying? I thought we were having a good day? Mommy comes home soon. Isn't that a reason to not cry?" I asked, trying to reason with her. "You didn't cry this much when you were a newborn" I grumbled, wincing as her cries got louder. "What am I supposed to do with you huh? All I know is you like to comfort nurse, well news flash kid, I don't have the proper parts for that, and you hate paci's. Whose fault is that huh? Just take the damn pacifier kid"

Around 11:50, her cries slowed down and she started to fall asleep against my chest as I softly rocked her, pacing the space between my bed and my desk.

I silently prayed that this was the finish line, and at 12:10, I decided to try and lay her down in her bassinet.

I slowly leaned over, carefully lowering her down, and the second, and I mean the second that the palm of my hand left her back, and she touched the bedding, her eyes popped open and she started wailing.

For fuck sake

I started the process again, trying once more to lay her down at 12:30am, and I got her placed in the enclosed bed, still asleep, and slowly walked away.

When I walked out of the bathroom after my shower, I heard her crying again.

What could she need now?

By 2 in the morning, I was extremely tired and my patience was running very thin.

At this point I was starting to get irritable.

"What do you need? How do I help you? You're changed, you're fed" I listed, frantically searching my brain for a solution. "I burped you.. we snuggled... I.. I don't know what you need"

I pulled out my phone, doing a quick Google search of what to do, Gemma whining on my bedroom floor as I sat next to her.

One of the pop down bars was How Long Is 4 Month Sleep Regression

Sleep regression?

The fuck is a sleep regression?

"Rolling over?" I mumbled aloud, reading the bold font.

Apparently, babies can go back into old sleeping habits, making you deal with long nights again.

Great.

"Gem, can you just not decide to learn how to roll over please, and go to sleep?" I asked, her glossy eyes staring at me hopelessly. "Oh sweet girl... What are we going to do? I don't know what to do. Please work with me" I begged, but I watched a few tears roll down her swollen cheeks.

I decided to try a different route.

Let's make her laugh.

I made silly faces and noises, tried tickling her, pretended to eat her neck and even blew a raspberry on her tummy, and nothing.

"Come on G" I begged again, a feeling of dread looming over me.

"You're going to make me call my mother aren't you?" I asked, grabbing my phone from the floor.

I dialed my mom's number, mentally groaning at how late it was not only here, but there.

"Hello?" She spoke in a yawn and I sighed.

"Sorry to call, again.." I apologized. "I uh.. tricks to get a baby to sleep?" I asked, putting my phone on speaker so I could tend to Gemma.

We went through the list of things, such as:

Is she fed?

Dirty diaper?

Too hot?

Too cold?

Burping?

Is her forehead warm?

but she was fine.

She hadn't soiled her diaper, I fed her at the correct time, I took her out of her sleeper thinking maybe she was too hot, but her cries didn't stop.

We also talked about this sleep regression thing, and maybe it was a possibility, but she was fine last night?

"I mean, the last thing I'd try is maybe she's gassy? You said she burped though?" Mom asked and I nodded, too preoccupied focusing on the baby in front of me to remember that this was an audio call.

"How do I know if she's gassy?"

"One of the tricks is grab her legs and push them towards her stomach, so her knees are going towards her body, and see if she toots"

"That works?" I asked, laying Gemma down on her back like my mom had instructed.

"Usually"

I grabbed her ankles with each hand, slowly pushing her knees towards her stomach.

"Nothing happened" I informed, letting her legs relax.

"Try again. It might take a few tries. If nothing happens.. you might just be dealing with some sleep regression honey" She said and I audibly groaned which made her laugh.

I did a few "reps" of pressing her knees towards her stomach, and right as I was about to give up, she let out the loudest fart I think I've ever heard.

I let out a tired, breathy laugh, "Oh my god" and whilst I was trying to comprehend that this actually worked, she giggled.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening. "You laughed! You laughed at your own fart! Oh my god!" I cracked up, my chest shaking as she had a closed mouth grin, staring up at the ceiling, her crying stopping.

"She's all better?" Mom asked as I laughed to myself.

"Yeah! Oh my god. Mom! She laughed for the first time, and it was at her own fart!" I exclaimed, my mom laughing a little with me.

"I'm glad she feels better, Cole. You both should get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?"

"M'kay"

"Goodnight Colby, love you" She said and I repeated it before letting her go, a grin on my face as I shook my head.

"You little gassy monster, I can't believe you just laughed for the first time" I snickered, pulling her up to my chest.

"Alright, let's get you to bed Ms. Gemma Lorraine"

* * * *

Written on: August 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th 2022

Word Count: 5k

Part Eighteen

[froggywritesstuff]

Hi! I would like to request an Encanto matchup! Either romantic or platonic is fine, but I would personally lean romantic because why not. Some basic stuff about me:

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Hobbies: Astronomy, physics, math (yes, I'm kind of a nerd hehe), playing musical instruments (particularly percussion), basketball, reading fanfiction obviously, slightly singing, antichess, gaming

Basics and Look: Just turned 17 yrs old, he/him, straight (I know, a bit of a bummer), 5'5", slightly plump with chubby cheeks, SE Asian, thick & slightly curly black hair in clean cut (my pre-Covid cut), dark brown eyes

Personality: A bit of a jokester with a rather spontaneous sense of humor, an outgoing bubbly energetic goofball, seldom holds legit grudges against people, somewhat trustworthy, friendly and sympathetic, very passionate about things/people that interest me. Friends consider me loyal, smart, sweet, fairly sociable, charismatic, a good conversant, and sorta motivational to an extent. Is patient and rather engaged when the other person is ranting, or needs a venting place. If in a serious state I'm pretty analytical and nuanced, and I have a level of proclivity with problem solving and analysis. Could be accident-prone, clumsy, a bit spacey, and annoying from time to time. Have some quirks which might hit people the wrong way, could be too talkative and absorbed to what I'm talking about, although I'm usually a good and empathetic listener, not the most organized person. Could notice the small details in the moment, but could also be forgetful about bigger and more glaring details. Could get disengaged easily in a task that is not of my interest or expertise, unless it is of utmost importance and is extremely critical. (Also just took personality test, apparently either ENFJ or ENTJ depending on the day but idk)

Other Peculiar Things about Me: Has a minor fear of heights, obsessed with strawberries, would want to stargaze as a first date if ever possible, makes a lot of peculiar faces, favorite music genres are pop rock, alt rock, and musicals, but can listen to just about anything, may go into random zone outs where I'm in my own imagination and just randomly act/sing (whether I'm good at them I shall leave to your imagination), loves cuddles, gets very romantic when in the rain either alone or with a special someone, gets geeky about astronomy and physics if you let me, rambles and talks to myself often and anywhere as long as I'm alone, loves to go on walks, has slight insecurities about height and man-boobs hehe

I would like to apologize if this kind of turned into a mini-autobiography of mine. Take as much time as you need, take care always and have a nice day!

I match you with...

Dolores

I can imagine you helping Camilo out with babysitting, who then introduced you to his older sister Dolores. (if introduced was code for setting up then that's exactly what he did)

From that day, you two grew closer and eventually developed more romantic feelings for each other

She loves your sense of humour

This sounds so cliché, but she thinks your clumsiness is adorable

You two could go on about astronomy for days

She adores hearing you sing and play music

Sometimes, Dolores needs someone to vent to, and 

First date with her was stargazing, so you two could safely nerd-out about astronomy. Though some dates with her, you two go strawberry picking

You two always listen to music together

She could listen to you rambling on about physics or astronomy for days

Doesn’t matter what time it is, you two will go out in the rain together, almost every time without fail

@briobelwaiting sorry for the wait! hope you like it :)