#slytherin evan

[coyotelip]

rosekiller microfic: dressed || @rosekillermicrofic || wc: 417

“Where are you going dressed like that?” comes the irritated voice of his father behind him as Barty is about to leave the house for the night. 

The thing is, he's not even wearing anything really weird or indecent. Simple black skinny jeans with holes in the thighs and knees, a white t-shirt and an emerald jacket over it with a loose Slytherin tie around his neck with several silver chains. His nails are painted black and green, and he has fake tattoos on his fingers that he started drawing out of boredom a few months ago during boring lectures. 

Barty finishes lacing his heavy boots and turns to his father, shrugging. “I don't know what you're talking about, all the young people dress like that nowadays. So I don't think I care what a conservative old man thinks.” 

Bartemius Senior comes even closer to his son and grabs his tie. “What is this? You're not even in Slytherin!” 

Without restraint, Barty pulls the tie out of his father's hands and turns on his heels toward the door. “I'm tired of talking to you, go on with your own business and let me have my fun.” 

Without waiting for an answer, the boy slips out of the house, heading for the crossroads, where a tall shadow is already waiting for him in the dark arc of the garden. Evan leans against the stone archway, smoking his cigarette in boredom, but a fire flashes in his eyes when Barty comes into view. 

“Ho ho," the guy whistles, looking Barty's figure up and down. “You look good in green.” Evan tosses the cigarette butt away to wrap his own tie around the boy's neck in the palm of his hand and pull him closer, exhaling hot air into his lips.

“And the blue on you brings out the color of your eyes.” Barty smiles against his lips, inhaling the sharp smell of tobacco and grabbing at his own tie around Evan's neck. “My old man almost made a scene. What about yours?” 

“Hmm.” Evan shrugged. “Mother looked at me with displeasure but didn't say a word, she was too tired to do anything. But we had the dear Black cousins visiting, and Bellatrix was fascinated,” his plump lips spread into a wide smile and draws the attention of the boy across from him. 

They stare at each other for a few seconds, blue and green eyes, and finally lock in a kiss, slow because the night has just begun

[writingamarie]

what if this rosekiller story is accidentally 200k??

[bri-cheeses]

*Dorcas introducing Marlene to the Skittles for the first time*

Dorcas: “This is Regulus. Yes, he does bite. Do not mention James or Sirius around him.”

Dorcas: “This is Evan-and-Barty. Do Not separate them unless you are prepared to face the consequences.”

Dorcas: “And this is Pandora. She can see the future sometimes and has predicted horrible deaths for all of us, but we don’t like to worry about that.”

Dorcas: “What do you think, babe?” :3

Marlene: “… I think I’ve just unknowingly started dating a cult member”

[regulusblock]

teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?

teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit

also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Evan: I love you, I really do, but we can't date Barty: What? Why? Evan: Because what happens if we break up? Barty: ... Barty: ! Barty: Who gets Regulus in the divorce?! Evan: Exactly!

[etherealriver]

Evan: *Whispering French into Barty's ear*

Barty: *Literally can't breathe*

Regulus, who's sitting next to him on the couch: *Fighting for his life not to laugh because Evan's not saying anything remotely sexy, he's just complaining about the weather*

[norry-yippee]

Sometimes I forget that people in the marauders fandom aren’t just silly teenage girls, like wdym your husband proof read this fic for you?!?!?!?!?

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Evan: why is Regulus crying?

Barty: well, James got drunk at a party so Regulus took him to their room

Barty: When he asked James to come to bed with him, James said “No, thanks. I’m sure you’re lovely but I have I boyfriend and I love him very very much” and went to sleep on the floor

Evan: so he’s crying because his boyfriend is too good?

Regulus: shut up you wouldn’t know about good boyfriends

Barty (said boyfriend): *Offended*

[rosieevan]

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

[arkieve]

i love the idea that the skittles had their own adventures at hogwarts that were more chaotic than the marauders' but they're lowkey about it. like oh, you guys were the ones who put that giant squid in the lake? cool. barty is currently possessed by a 16th century demon pandora accidentally released. it hasn't done anything yet and he seems fine and we're late to potions so we'll deal with that when he starts levitating while speaking in a dead language.

[writingamarie]

i’m not even through 1/4 moments i want to write for chapter four and i’m almost at 4k words…

[fiasco95]

Barty, barging into the Gryffindor common room: What’s up losers!

Sirius: Wh—

Barty: I actually don’t care, don’t answer that!

Remus: That—

Barty: Anywhoo! Am just here to collect my bitches!

James: Hey—!

Barty, looking at Pandora & Dorcas: Respectfully.

Barty, turning to Regulus: Disrespectfully.

Marauders & Friends:

Barty: Alright, great talk! Let’s go bitches!

Pandora, Regulus & Dorcas kissing their respective partners and following Barty out of the common room.

Marlene: …What the fuck just happened?

Lily: No fucking clue.

[anxiousthoughts365]

3am in the Slytherin Dorm:

Barty: *whispering* Rosie

Evan:

Barty: *louder whispering* Oi, Rosie

Evan:

Barty: *straight up just talking* Rosie Posie, rosiest apple of my eye, my rose that by any other name would smell as sweet, oh Rosie my -

Regulus: *irritable and groggy* Merlin and Morganna both, Rosier, put me out of my misery before I do it for all of us and answer him

Evan: *completely awake* What, Bat?

Barty: Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Evan:

Regulus:

Barty:

Evan: This is your fault for encouraging him to read, Black.

[pxrty-crxsher]

Sirius: So how did you guys get together?

Barty: He was watching me, like a stalker.

Evan: Everyday, for a straight month.

Barty: Gay month you mean?

Remus: …

Sirius: Anyways.. what I mean is, what happened that made you think, ‘oh I want him as my boyfriend’ ?

Barty: He was stalking me and I thought it was hot.

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

im a multishipper until you try to touch my babies ok.

james and lily? absolutely. lily and mary? adorable. james and regulus? grumpyxsunshine GOLD. regulus and barty? our favorite psychos. barty and evan? you know it's growing on me

but other ships instead of wolfstar????? like??? they're the only ones for each other argue w the goddamn wall