#slowburn trope

[rwby-confess]

Confession #473

[the-crooked-library]

i think the primary reason why K/S has such overwhelming appeal is and always shall be that it is, at its core, a soulmate bond that has to be forged. the only way a t'hy'la bond can manifest is through shared toil, hardships, and undying devotion; it must be given effort and put together piece by piece - but at the same time, by the nature of its creation, it alters all realities on a cosmic level, to the point that Kirk and Spock must meet in every universe.

t'hy'la is not spontaneous. it is not a soulmate mark, it doesn't spring to life at first sight or first touch or first word. it is destined - because it is chosen, time and time again. you cannot have one without the other

[sculkshrieking]

anyway *romcoms your hoffstrahm* here's a when harry met sally AU now that @degloved has put that idea in my head <33

[bg-brainrot]

"When He’s all but Forgotten How to Love Again" - Astarion x GN!Reader - Series Masterlist

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Elf!Tav for plot reasons)

Genre: Reincarnation, Angst, Mystery, Slow burn

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Canon-Typical Violence, cw: blood, cw: Astarion's entire backstory, cw: sex, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Eventual Fluff, Grief, Mourning, Developing Relationship

Series WC: 113k words and ongoing, 21/?? chapters

Summary: An Elf-Tav reincarnation story where Reincarnated!Tav dreams about Astarion in their nightly reveries and eventually seeks him out once they reach maturity. Things definitely totally go well.

Author’s Notes: I'm bringing over some of my multi-chapter fics from AO3, so if you've already read this, ty!! I love you and appreciate you so much! I will continue to add chapters as I format them, but the full fic is available on AO3 here if you're feeling like a binge.

Heads up-- while there will be explicit moments, this is first and foremost focused on romantic tension and yearning, asking the question: 'Would you still love me if I was someone completely different?’ Explicit scenes will be few and far between and very much focused on their feelings. It’s essentially an established relationship slow burn?

This has unascended Astarion, “good” choices are made in the original timeline, Tav needs to be an elf for this to work, but otherwise no specifics on past Tav. Present day Tav is a magic-user.

Chapters:

Chapter 1: Knifes and Nightmares

At 12 years old, you first dream of the Pale Elf. The encounter scares you and sets you on your path forward.

Chapter 2: The Second Encounter with the Pale Elf

Nearly 19, you think you have a handle of your past lives. However, not all of your past lives are created equal.

Chapter 3: What it Means to Love

Now 29, you're still trying to piece together parts of your past. In particular, what exactly was your relationship with Astarion?

Chapter 4: In this Lifetime

Now 99-years-old, you've managed to ignore your worst impulses to run off to Baldur's Gate. One night's reverie finally breaks you.

Chapter 5: Guidance from a Druid

After finally setting off to find Astarion, you receive a confounding memory from your past life. Ignoring what it might mean, you focus on your task and visiting Halsin, one of your past-self's friends.

Chapter 6: The Man of your Dreams

You make your way toward Astarion, trying your best to prepare for the encounter to come.

Chapter 7: Just One Night

You plead your case to the vampire.

Chapter 8: Who You Have Become

You try to learn more of who Astarion's become, while also trying to convince him of who you were.

Chapter 9: Ghosts of You

After he storms off, you try to track Astarion down only to find yourself on a trip down memory lane. Once you do catch his trail, you’re surprised to see where he’s gone.

Chapter 10: Overheard in the Underdark

You traverse a new landscape, looking for Astarion. What you find might be more than you bargain for, and what you hear might be too much to handle.

Chapter 11: An Interrogation

You spend the night in vampire prison and have a difficult conversation.

Chapter 12: The Source of his Pain

As you aim to leave and never look back, Astarion realizes that perhaps *he's* the one that made the mistake.

Chapter 13: And They Were Roommates

You and Astarion try to find a common ground between you. Things are awkward and tentative, and progress is anything but linear.

Chapter 14: A Blossoming Friendship

Now in your second week of living together, you and Astarion have to get past some of the hurdles your first week introduced, all while getting a bit closer along the way.

Chapter 15: More than Friends Pt. 1

Push finally comes to shove. As fun as living in the present is, Astarion forgets that present dangers are still very, very real. Afterward, emotions run high, and you find yourself in a familiar predicament.

Chapter 16: More than Friends Pt. 2

After talking through the previous night's tryst, emotions are confused, pasts are divulged, and everything comes to a head when your heart and soul want different things.

Chapter 17: What We are Now

When you’re left to your own devices, you find yourself knee-deep in mystery. Despite all of this, Astarion never leaves your mind. And perhaps you never leave his.

Chapter 18: Traveling with a Friend

You and Astarion travel together to Waterdeep. Emotions run high as you reconnect and reestablish your boundaries.

Chapter 19: The Wizard’s Tower

After traveling through Waterdeep, you and Astarion finally arrive at Gale's tower. Introductions are made, tours are had, and the relationship between yourself and Astarion continues to remain complicated.

Chapter 20: Sweets and Shopping

After receiving some advice from Gale, you and Astarion spend the day shopping and talking through your friendship.

Chapter 21: Dansarra’s Delights

Your wizard friend gives you a nigh impossible task, and you spend the day trying to find your opening to complete it.

Chapter 22 - TBA

...

[gayofthefae]

"It's like Carpenter's 'The Thing'. The original is a classic! No question about it."

But the remake? Sweeter. Bolder. Better."

"You're insane."

"So you prefer the original Thing?" "What? No."

But "That's insane. That's blasphemous! Putting fruit on pizza?"

"Did you try it?"

"No, I didn't try it; no, I obviously didn't try it."

"Try before you deny!" "Okay! Okay!"

"No, you're right. It's good."

[andro-dino]

Tired and sick, may I get some Once upon a withlight headcanons to ease my weary soul?

aaa hope you feel better soon snuggles 🫶

this is one I actually have to put a little brain power into bc I actually haven’t thought super hard about this

- I think kremy and Gideon never verbally apologize to each other after a fight, both of them are way too prideful and awkward for that. Kremy I think would take it like a mom who cuts up fruit for you instead of apologizing. He doesn’t explicitly acknowledge that anything happened or is wrong but Gideon will be moping in the corner and kremy will be like “I made dinner, are you gonna come eat with me or what?” and instantly all is resolved. On Gideon’s part, I think it’s a combo of big sad puppy eyes and acts of service, just constantly going out of his way to do things for kremy to try to make up for it. I think gid does that a lot just anyways but he goes especially hard on it when he’s trying to apologize after a fight

- also coalecroux focused, these guys are so weird about physical affection. it’s either they are extremely awkward and strange about it or they are literally inside each others skin, no in between. Like I think with these two having been together for as long as they have, they have very naturally gotten super used to constantly hanging on to each other and having their arms wrapped around each other like second nature, neither of them even really realize they do it, but the SECOND anyone comments on it or causes them to think about it for even a second, they are instantly ten feet apart from each other and all awkward and sputtery about it. freaks, I hate them (affectionate)

- Frost is the kind of person who will appear to be completely doing his own thing and not paying attention at all when other people are talking but he is actually extremely engaged in the conversation, he just doesn’t feel the need to hold eye contact or stop doing what he’s doing (which is probably like reading a book or something similar which would appear to hold all his attention). Gricko is the most used to this and entirely unfazed by it but it takes most others a little while to understand it

- Gideon and Twig scheme about pranks to pull on frost together. Either that or just ganging up to make fun of him (affectionate) in general

- Twig tries to help show torbek how to clean and take care of his fur a little more. He’s not particularly good at it on his own but he’s trying and he appreciates it immensely

- frost. Kitty tendencies. he tries like really really hard not to show most of his cat qualities very often bc he does not want to draw attention to them but he has found himself making biscuits around people without realizing more than once

- Hootsie with each of the different krew members I think are all very fun dynamics. Frost is father #2 to her and will usually be the one taking care of her if gricko cannot as he is generally the most responsible and capable when it comes to taking care of her, though he will definitely sneak her more rat snacks than she’s supposed to have. Kremy is like the rich gay aunt who will absolutely spoil her rotten if given the opportunity. He never means to but he can never resist doing so. He will go full Karen mode to give her the world. I imagine hootsie in Gideon’s care like one of those movies where the plot revolves around a babysitter and the kid their watching going on a big wacky adventure and needing to get home before the parents do, and no matter zany the hijinks, they will always get back home and act like absolutely nothing happened when the parents do get home. He is one of hootsie’s favorite to play and cuddle with but he should probably not be solely responsible for her for extended periods of time. Torbek and hootsie are like bffs and also are great cuddle buddies but similarly he should never be left solely responsible for her it would not go well.

[frootynovak]

casey: you’re a cunt, alex. fuck. you.

alex: oh yeah? okay then fuck me! do it! fuck me. i dare you! fuck. me.

casey: HA! MAYBE I WILL! MAYBE I WILL DO IT! TONIGHT AT YOUR PLACE 10 O’CLOCK SHARP!

alex: OKAY THEN! IT IS ON! WE WILL SEE WHO’S FUCKING WHO THEN!

casey: fine!

alex: fine!

olivia, choking on coffee: what the fuck just happened

[starliteonearth]

So I know they threw a serious curve ball with Future Eve confessing but I still think the best angle for Mareve in season 3 would be 'it was always the right person but just the wrong time and now they're coming back, reconnecting'. Because in season 1 they had a really good foundation but with how they extended Mark and Amber's relationship all the way to college and made it way more meaningful, the relationship sort of stagnated and their interactions were practically non-existent this season. That needs to change ASAP in season 3. Have them spend quality time together (not necessarily romantic, maybe just as supportive partners and an unofficial superhero duo), slowly fan the spark that was always there from the start, and let's just get some genuine progression between them before they get together.

[thepenultimateword]

The Worst Kind of Medal

The war had left more scars on the nation than it had Umbra’s body, so she wasn’t surprised that the airship came in 6 hours later than the schedule had claimed. She was more surprised that she was still standing on the platform, bold-lettered sign locked in her fists at either corner, when it arrived. No one had told her she needed to be at the port when Prince Waylon arrived in Graybourne, only that he was to be her lifelong charge forever after. She probably should have left a soldier here in her place and enjoyed her last few hours of freedom at home.

A bit of guilt pricked her insides. That was unfair. No one had forced her into this marriage arrangement. She’d accepted it–maybe only for the promises that came along with it, but still an acceptance. If she was uncomfortable now, it was her fault.

Several men leaped from the ship deck, ropes coiled under their arms. They rushed to knot the tethers to the docking posts as their feet touched the ground. It was complicated to get a ship back in the air once grounded, so most docks were constructed on cliff faces or in Greybourne’s case on towers. This allowed the ship to remain airborne yet steady for boarding and exiting; the same went for inspections and refueling. The only real reason for a ship to land was in case of major repairs.

The plank dropped, and a surge of people rushed onto the platform. Umbra scanned the crowd, with rapid scrutiny. She wished she’d asked for a photograph of her potential husband before the royal family shipped him here. The monarch probably wouldn’t grant her another reward if she lost him on the very first day. 

“Ser Umbra!”

Her gaze shot to the deck where a man with long silvery hair braided crownlike around his forehead and then draped loosely over one shoulder waved over the crowd. Another man, hair-slicked and face creased with a long-suffering frown, reached out to grab him, but the prince was already bounding down the plank. He was more petite than she had expected, his head bobbing in and out of sight as he weaved clumsily through the crowd, bumping shoulders every few steps. As he darted around the last mozying couple, he nearly barreled straight into her chest, but he managed to catch himself just short, tipping up onto his toes in the process.

“Ser Umbra,” he repeated, panting up at her with a broad smile. “I-it’s really you! You came yourself! I really wasn’t expecting to see you straight off the ship! Ryann told me I probably wouldn’t see you until tomorrow morning because of your duties!”

Umbra blinked at him. Her heart felt like it had been seized and clutched hard in her chest.

She’d wondered why the King had suggested Prince Waylon as her groom. It had seemed a very quick choice. She’d figured it was because he was fifth in line for the throne—the royal family wouldn’t marry a soldier to someone who could one day take the crown, no matter how much she’d done for her country. Now, looking at his peeking canines, golden eyes, and long, curling tail, it was abundantly clear this had been a careful act of strategy.

King Esmond had never been shy about taking wives, and as a result, many of his children came from foreign royalty, a way of securing many alliances at once. Not so with the Auskeran princess. Umbra had not yet been born when the marriage took place, but everyone knew that was where the tensions between the two countries had started. With the princess's death.

But now, with the war ended and Auskeran firmly independent from the rest of the world, no foreign alliances were waiting for a half-Auskerian prince. And keeping him around the capital was a liability in itself. His very appearance was a reminder of the recent horrors and a symbol of shame to the King. But he was still of royal blood, and banishments–no matter how merciful–had a habit of coming back to bite. So what did they do? They gave him to a local. Someone high enough to merit such a match but low enough that she couldn’t refuse. Someone who would take all the perks of having a royal spouse as appeasement for the inconvenience of his half-bloodedness.

Still, they had to have known her feelings about such a thing. The war had not ended so many months ago that an Auskerian, even half of one, didn’t bother her. Perhaps that was the very reason they’d said nothing. They wouldn’t want to risk her denial.

“How did you know what I look like?” Umbra said, forcing her clenched jaw apart. He’d picked her out from the crowd on sight. He couldn’t have seen the sign from that distance, could he?

The prince flushed a little. “Father showed me a photograph of the Greybourne division as soon as he told me about the marriage arrangement. He said you’re a general of high standing. You held the eastern front steady for two years before scouting over the border. You won us the war practically singlehanded!” 

Umbra was about to explain that it was far more complex than that but Prince Waylon carried on without pause. 

“And to think, of all the prestigious matches you could have received, Father chose me! I’ve been showing that photo to everyone for the last month! But it got sort of crumpled from carrying it around too much, so my sister painted your portrait for me as a wedding gift. See?” 

He pried open the locket around his neck and leaned forward to show her a very accurate, stoic miniature of her own face. She was dressed in her military uniform, her medal of honor–a medal that she’d really only worn twice, once when it was bestowed and again for a newspaper photo–pinned bold and gleaming to her chest.

 “She made one for you too, here!” He fished into his breast pocket and held out a matching bronze locket by its chain. 

Umbra watched it swing for a couple moments before she tentatively accepted it. “I, um…” He was staring at her so expectantly what was she supposed to do? She slipped the chain over her head, and the locket settled in the hollow of her chest. “Thank you.”

He continued to stare. Gaze flicking to the locket and back to her face again. He definitely wasn’t subtle. 

She picked open the latch and looked vaguely at the companion miniature. “Ah.”

It wasn’t much of a reaction but the prince immediately pounced on it.

“I hope it's ok. I wanted it to be more interesting or at least be smiling, but Isabeau said portraits are supposed to be serious. I’m lucky she let me be as expressive as that.”

“No, no, it’s very nice,” Umbra said. Lied. She hadn’t even noticed whether the portrait had been straight-faced or smiling. She should probably be more excited, or at least appreciative. Princess Isabeau was supposedly a real artistic talent—from the accuracy of her own portrait she had to agree—and her skill mixed with her status, made her paintings some of the most saught after in the kingdom. Now she had one around her neck and she couldn’t even give it a proper enough to look to give a specific detail of praise.

Luckily, Prince Waylon took her words at face value. He noticeably relaxed, and she snapped the locket shut again.

“Prince Waylon!” The other man from the ship shoved out from the crowd, a little more disheveled than he’d been moments ago and lugging two large suitcases. He let the cases drop heavily to the planks and tugged sharply on the ends of his black suit. “A member of the royal family does not fly off like that! You must conduct yourself with decorum! And that means staying with your escort!”

“I was with Ser Umbra, so it was fine,” Prince Waylon said.

The man’s attention flicked toward her, scanning her up and down with an unimpressed expression. As an employee to the royal family why would he be? 

“This is Ryann, my escort to Greybourne,” Prince Waylon said. “He’s supposed to return to Ashborough once he sees me settled.  

“Ser,” Ryann said with a short bow. “Unfortunately, the royal officiant was delayed, so the wedding will have to be postponed at least a couple weeks. I’m to stay until that point to be another witness.”

Great. The last thing she wanted was time to start overthinking things. She’d wanted this done as quickly as possible. And now, with the prince’s Auskerian features to unsettle her, she wanted it done even faster.

“You both must be tired,” she said, hefting up one of the suitcases. “My car is at the base of the tower. I’ll take you to the house so you can rest.”

“Oh, I’m not that tired–” Waylon began

“You drive?” Ryann interrupted as he grabbed the remaining case. “You don’t have a chauffeur?”

“I have drivers,” Umbra clarified. “For shopping and other errands. I simply prefer the autonomy of driving myself. Don’t worry, I don’t expect Prince Waylon to get along without a chauffeur.”

“Oh, maybe I could learn too?”

“Absolutely not,” Ryann snapped. “You’ll get yourself killed. Besides, who ever heard of royalty driving themselves? You’re not one of the working class.”

Umbra started down the first tower ramp, letting them fall into step beside her. Should she say something? Tell the prince he could try driving if he liked? But her drivers didn’t have time to keep an eye on him and she hadn’t planned on engaging in any extra responsibilities. She also didn’t think there was much point in ruffling the escort further. So she remained quiet.

Prince Waylon didn’t seem to take the denial too hard. He chatted a bit on the way down, pointing out the landscape and buildings as they went. Umbra nodded along, but didn’t listen much; she was more focused on the many glances the prince received from passersby, ranging from curiosity to outright disgust. Ryann must have been aware as well because he kept a protective hand on the prince’s arm the entire way down.

The car waited at the curb for them. A sleek green thing with three steam valves that she’d purchased shortly after the war’s end. It was easier traveling back and forth to the military headquarters this way.

“Here we are.” Umbra popped the door to the trunk, putting away the first suitcase and then taking the second from Ryann.

The escort dusted off his hands, as if the meanialness of the task were a visible smudge on his station. He then stepped back to survey the car’s body. “This is a handsome vehicle.”

 Umbra expected it was one of the only words of praise she was going to receive during his stay, but she still couldn’t find it in herself to use it to her advantage. “It does the job.”

 “Ser Umbra, can I sit up front with you?” Prince Waylon chirped from the side.

“You’re not going to address me as Ser Umbra our entire marriage, are you?”

His face washed a hot pink. “I wasn’t sure what you preferred.”

“You’re not a part of my regiment. Umbra is fine.”

“Then I’m just Waylon.” He smiled. A sweet, bright-eyed expression that made Umbra’s insides churn like someone was trying to turn them inside out. The officator had better get there fast.

She nodded curtly and circled around to the passenger door, holding it for him as he picked up the ends of his traveling cloak and slid inside. As she closed it behind him, she caught a glimpse of Ryann’s expression before he entered the backseat. Silent approval. Seemed she’d passed whatever test the employee had in mind for vehicle etiquette. She wasn’t look forward to any similar tests. Her rise in the military had granted her a title and a fortune, but she certainly could claim to be as well-bred as anyone in the royal court. Which for many was a sin in itself. 

The drive from the port to her small estate lasted only 20 minutes and was mainly quiet. Waylon ooed at every street and building they passed. Umbra couldn’t imagine anything here in Greybourne, a city on the very edge of the kingdom, could surpass Ashborough in all its capital glory. Perhaps he was only trying to be polite. However, as they pulled up the lane to the estate, his nose was almost pressed to the glass.

“It’s beautiful!”

Now Umbra knew he was being polite. The estate was a sturdy, grey-stoned building with two stories and several acres of surrounding meadow. A garage hid humbly and strategically around the back so as not to ruin the aesthetic view of the front or boast the ownership of two cars. It may have been larger than many of the other homes in Graybourne, and yes, it was rather pretty in the golden hour of evening, but it was nothing compared to the manors in Ashborough let alone the palace. Umbra had been dragged into several parties and ceremonies in the capital after the war’s official end, and extravagant was an understatement.

Waylon clutched his locket and mumbled under his breath. “It’s like a dream.”

A dream? What did princes have to dream about?

Umbra circled the drive and parked directly in front of the large oak front doors. Arlin and Madeline must have been watching from inside–she was impressed they stayed at the ready for the entire 6 hours she had been gone–because they rushed out the front the moment she stepped out of the vehicle. 

Arlin opened the passenger door before Umbra could make her way fully around, but to his credit, his surprise only lasted a moment. Raised eyebrows shot back down, parted lips promptly pinned shut, and he bowed his head as Waylon stepped down to the gravel drive. 

“Your majesty,” Arlin said, then moved on to Ryann’s door.

In the meantime, Madeline had made quick work of unloading the luggage. The bags seemed oversized compared to her small frame, but she showed no struggle as she carried them around. Her reaction to the prince showed more in an exchange of glances with Arlin than a change of expression. 

“Welcome back, Miss,” she said, “we were beginning to worry something had gone wrong.”

“Just a slight delay in the ship’s arrival,” Umbra said, passing the car keys to Arlin, who promptly took the car around to the garage. “Madeline, will you show the prince and his escort to their rooms? They’ve had a long trip, and it’s getting late.”

“Of course, Miss. I’ll let Henrietta and the others know that dinner will be served in the guests’ rooms tonight.”

“Thank you. Only tea for me tonight. Please have it brought to my office.” She didn’t think she could stomach anything else tonight. Maybe a cup of tea would settle some of her more turbulent emotions.

“Oh, Ser– I mean, Umbra,” Waylon said, the end of his tail flicking eagerly. “I’m really not tired, and I’d love to see more of the estate, and talk to you more. Maybe we can go for a walk–that meadow back there looks promising–and I can tell you–”

“My prince,” Ryann said firmly. The prince jolted, looking at Ryann with wide eyes. The escort gave him a subtle shake of his head.

Waylon looked down at the gravel, ears going slightly pink. “My apologies Ser Umbra. I overexcited.”

Oh no, she needed to say something didn’t she? Something smart and smooth that saved the prince’s feelings without backing down from her preference for a quiet night. She hated hosting. She especially the politics that came with it.

“I’d be happy to show you around the grounds tomorrow,” she said, hoping it didn’t sound forced. “The sun is about to go down soon and the view can’t be appreciated so well in the dark. Besides the meadow is riddled with rabbit holes; I wouldn’t want you to misstep and break an ankle.”

“Ah.” He raised his eyes toward her. Luminescence crept in at the corners. Once the sun had gone completely down, those eyes would be completely aglow. “That would be unfortunate. I…look forward to tomorrow then.” It was hard to read whether he believed her. His gaze showed some relief, but the wrap of his tail around his leg still spoke to some embarrassment. Nevertheless, some of his old exuberance slipped through the cracks in his politeness. “It was a joy–no, an honor–to begin making your acquaintance.” 

Umbra forced eye contact until he turned away, prompted toward the house by Madeline’s beckoning. A cold feeling had lodged itself in the middle of her chest. 

She hoped the officiator would come fast.

[palespawn]

i’m gonna be real for a sec — astarion is mostly always gonna be the one who “fell harder” in a relationship

[michyeosseo]

I am always indebted to you.   – It will cost quite a lot.

Honey Lee and Yoon Sa Bong as JO YEO-HWA & JANG SO-WOON

KNIGHT FLOWER (2024)

[balletbby]

eyes without a face | miles fairchild aesthetic ᡣ𐭩‧₊˚ ⊹ 🐈‍⬛

[puppetgearing]

oof other people doing their selfship is so wholesome and romantic and cute

and im here like,,,, yea they're like two wet cats and it's funny

[callmelittlebuttercup]

Peace Offerings Pt. 9

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Series Summary: Joel and Reader leave the old couple’s house and find themselves surrounded by men on horses. They end up in a community called Jackson where they meet some new and some familiar people. Emotions are at an all time high and Reader walks off to get some fresh air, but ends up running into some trouble- yet again.

Series Warnings: Slow burn, Age gap (reader is 34, Joel is 56), 18+ Minors DNI, Sexual Themes, Violence, Injuries (depictions of blood, bruising, broken bones), Cursing, Grumpy!Joel, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)

Chapter Warnings: Beginning of the Jackson au!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Nine

After we said our goodbyes and thanked the older couple, we started back on the road. A few miles from the cabin, we came across sounds of running water and hurried up the bank. A huge reservoir, still turning out water gushed before us. “A dam… and it’s still running.” I remarked. Joel came to stand next to me, his eyebrows knitted together as he took in the potential sign of life. “Might not mean anything.” He said before looking down at me.  “It’s been 20 years, Joel. You expect a dam to be running this smoothly after being untouched for 20 years?” I argued. He turned his gaze back to the rushing water before shaking his head and pursing his lips. I rolled my eyes and pushed past him to continue onto the trail along the reservoir. 

When we rounded the reservoir, we came across a larger river and began to climb a hill. The sound of voices and hooves pounding against the ground stopped us in our tracks. Before I could even flinch to grab my gun, a group of people on horses had come out of the treeline and surrounded us. Joel grabbed my hand and practically threw me behind him. Each of them had a gun pointed straight at us. “We ain’t looking for any trouble, we’re just passing through.” Joel called out with his arms raised. His signature greeting. “Drop the gun.” The closest guy called out. Joel obeyed, slowly and cautiously.  “Girl, take five steps back.” The man demanded. I began to take slow, shaky steps back from Joel, having to pry his hand off my wrist. “How about we just talk this through.” Joel said calmly. “How ‘bout you shut the fuck up.” The guy suggested sternly. “Ok, ok. Easy.” Joel kept his hands raised as the man approached him. “You been near infected?” The man asked. “No infected around here.” Joel answered. “The hell there ain’t.” Our attention was directed to the sound of a dog barking, and we turned to see a man struggling to keep his grip on a huge german shepherd. “Last chance for a bullet. If you’re infected, he will smell it and  he will rip you up.” The man’s voice sounded far away as my heart pounded in my ears. I was pretty sure I wasn’t infected, neither was Joel, but the mere possibility of the dog ripping us apart was terrifying. 

I held my breath and closed my eyes as the dog approached. I felt it’s warm breath on my leg as it sniffed me. Nothing. I released the trapped air from my lungs, and dropped my hands to my sides. “You just bought yourself ten more seconds.” The same man said, “What are you doing out here?” Joel answered, “Just looking for our brothers. That’s all, nothing more.” Once those words left his mouth a woman with long, dark dreadlocks rode forward from behind the man calling out, “Hey! What’s your name?” “Joel.” She eyed the both of us, “And yours?” I eagerly told her my name. Her face dropped in realization, and she then ordered the men to lend us their horses as we rode back. One man gave Joel his horse, and I rode with another man from the group. I gripped the man’s jacket tightly as we followed the others along their path towards giant wooden gates in the middle of a long stretch of tall fencing. One of the men on the horses raised a red flag, and the gates began to open. 

My jaw dropped at the sight. It was as if the town hadn’t been touched by the tragedies that the rest of the world were touched by. There were people laughing and talking as they stood along the streets outside of shops and houses. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I looked at Joel and watched his eyes searching for his brother, and I was brought back to the reality of the situation. Please let them be here. I begged. We rode a little further into town, passing more people who were now staring at us. All of a sudden, Joel called out, “Tommy!” I raised my head up to see if it was really him, not even knowing what he looked like. I caught sight of a man quickly descending the stairs of scaffolding on the side of a house. A look of pure disbelief was painted on his face as he stared at Joel. I could see the resemblance between the two. Joel stepped off the horse and enveloped his brother into a bear hug. The biggest smile I’d ever seen stretched across his face. They shared a long embrace and a few hearty laughs. Soon after, Joel came back over to help me off of the horse and introduce me to Tommy. I smiled at the man as my feet hit the ground, and introduced myself as I reached out a hand. He repeated my name back to me with a warm smile, and shook my hand firmly. Joel came to stand next to me, and as they talked I couldn’t help but notice Tommy’s eyes flitting back and forth between us. I stepped away from Joel, not wanting him to get the wrong impression. 

Through all the fuss of the brother’s reunion, I heard my name being called from a distance. My eyes widened and my chest filled with excitement. I stood on my toes to see over the men’s heads, and I finally caught sight of him. I smiled and pushed past Joel before jogging to hug my brother. He looked the same as the day he’d left Boston, except for the beard. “Matthew.” I sighed as we finally embraced. “You made it.” He said before placing a kiss on the top of my head. “Barely.” I joked as I pulled away, “You can thank him.” I said as I gestured to Joel. “Who’s that?” He questioned. I bit my lip, “Uh, his name is Joel. He’s Tommy’s brother. We found out both of you were here and he offered to let me travel with him.” I could see Matthew’s jaw clench before he let out a deep, “Mhmm.” I studied his face, wondering why he seemed to have an opinion about Joel before even meeting him. 

Matthew and I caught up as Tommy and Maria did the same with Joel. They’d brought us to the restaurant in town and Maria gave him and I two plates of food. My eyes widened and my mouth watered as I eyed the first square meal I’d seen in years. “Where did you get this stuff?” I asked as I stabbed a piece of fresh broccoli with my fork. “We have some crops. We managed to get some seeds through a trade.” Maria explained. I nodded in understanding, my mouth too full to give a verbal reply. As he and I scarfed down the food, I noticed my brother staring at Joel, who had sat next to me. “So, Joel, things go well on the road with my sister?” Matthew asked as he crossed his arms. Joel’s eyes left the plate and traveled between Matthew and I. I gave him a reassuring look, hoping it would encourage him to answer. “As well as they could go.” Joel said before shoving a bite of food in his mouth. I bit my lip nervously, hoping Matthew would just take the answer and end the interaction. “And what do you mean by that?” He questioned. “Matthew, please.” I blurted, unable to stand the tension any longer. He pried his accusatory gaze off of Joel and back onto me, “Can I talk to you outside, sis?” I eyed the other witnesses of the interaction. Tommy sat with an eyebrow raised, and Maria’s face was stone cold. I huffed impatiently and got up from the table, not bothering to push in my chair. 

“What is your problem, Matthew?” I seethed as he pulled me around the corner of the restaurant and into the alley. “I’ve heard things about that man,” He whispered, “He’s killed people, sis. A lot of people. He did all sorts of illegal shit in the QZ. Did you have any idea who you were travelling with? Did he hurt you?” The words left his mouth in a panicked flurry. “Where did you hear those things?” I asked. “Nevermind that. How stupid can you be to travel across the country with a dangerous man like that?” He prodded angrily. I stared at him for a moment, unable to believe the fact that I’d travelled across the country to save him and I was being yelled at about who I chose to do it with. “I travelled hundreds of miles to find you, and all you can think to say is this shit?” I scoffed. “He’s dangerous.” He said after taking a deep breath. “He may be, but who isn’t, Matthew? Who hasn’t killed to survive these days?” I argued. “He killed for the wrong reasons. He’s a smuggler, a raider.” I shook my head, “No. You’re wrong.” My brother’s face dropped in realization. “You didn’t…” He muttered in disbelief. “Didn’t what?” I asked panickedly. “Please tell me that you didn’t fuck him. I swear to god I will kill him right now.” His face reddened with rage, but I pressed my hands into his shoulders, “No, Matthew, I didn’t. I swear. Nothing happened between us. All he did was make up a plan to get us here and he protected me when I needed it. We barely even spoke to each other the whole time. Now will you please calm the fuck down so I can go finish the first meal I’ve had in months?” I begged. The tightness in his shoulders eased after hearing my explanation, and he nodded, “There’s nothing going on between you two?” He asked, needing my reassurance once more. I shook my head, “I promise.” I lied. 

Before Matthew and I could move to go back inside, we heard the door to the restaurant bust open. It was Joel, storming out of the restaurant. He caught my eye and paused for a moment, but kept walking off towards what looked like a stable. The urge to follow was tugging at me, but there was no way Matthew was letting that happen. I followed him back into the restaurant and finished my meal silently as he had a hushed conversation with Maria and Tommy at the bar. 

Later that night, after being shown around more by Matthew, we neared the front porch of the house he’d been living in. “This is it.” He said proudly, “Fixed it up myself.” I followed him into the front door and felt as though I’d walked into a thrift store. Not one piece of furniture went with another. “When did you get your interior decorating degree?” I smirked before plopping down into a red bigham armchair. He rolled his eyes as he reached into the fridge, “I didn’t have much to work with. Beer?” I nodded and reached my hand out to grab the cold can from him. Cracking it open and tasting the malty liquid was a feeling I never knew I missed. 

“You owe me an apology.” I said after swallowing a huge swig from the can. He pressed his lips together as he plopped down onto the hideous floral patterned couch, “I do. ” I sat up, resting my elbows onto my knees, “Three weeks, Matthew. Three weeks without a fucking word from you. I thought you were dead.” He took a sip of his beer then knitted his fingers around it, “We were told to stop contacting outsiders. That they were threats to us.” I flinched, “Threats?” He nodded, “We had too much traffic around the perimeter. Maria decided it would be safer if we kept outside communication to a minimum.” I stared at the floor, unable to look at him, “Your own sister, a threat.” He sighed, “Look, I tried my best to contact you.” I stood up off of the chair, wanting nothing more than for this conversation to be over. “Not hard enough.” I spat as I stalked to the front door, slamming it behind me. 

My mind reeled as I walked aimlessly down the street, my way being lit by hanging lights and trash can fires littered along the blocks. I looked around, attempting to find any building that was familiar from earlier in the day. I spotted the stable I’d seen Joel rush into earlier and figured it woud be empty at this time of night. I neared the door and unhooked the latch before opening it slowly, not wanting to spook the horses. With the tiniest bit of light shining through the door, I caught sight of a beautiful chestnut horse with a white stripe down its face. It reminded me of the horse my uncle owned on his farm. “Hi there,” I whispered as I offered it my hand to nibble. 

I’d been so deep in my own head that I hadn’t noticed the sound of voices traveling from somewhere outside the stable. Itching with curiosity, I stood on a hay bale and put my ear up to a hole in the wood. “I don’t want to hurt her, Tommy. After Sara, after Tess… I can’t do that to her.” My heart sank when I realized it was Joel. Who was Sara? And Tess? “It’s safe here, Joel. If you stay, you’ll have the opportunity to start over… like I did. I’m gonna be a father in a few months. And to be honest I’m scared to death. But I don’t know… I think I’d be a good father.” Tommy said. “I guess we’ll find out.” Joel sighed. Tommy clearly didn’t like that response, “I guess we’ll find out? Maybe you think your life stopped when Sara died, and believe me, I thought mine did too, but I found a way to start it again. You can too.” Joel scoffed, “It won’t be as easy for me. You’ve never lost a child.” The men’s voices became more intense, “I lost her too. I was there, Joel, remember?” Tommy grunted. I gasped quietly, the realization that Joel had a daughter, maybe even a wife before all of this. It all made so much sense now. 

I’d been so focused on the conversation that I hadn’t noticed the hay slipping out from under my feet. Before I could regain my footing, my boots lost their grip and I tumbled to the ground. I couldn’t stifle the shriek that escaped me as I felt the pain in my ribs all over again. “Shit.” I grunted through clenched teeth. The men’s voices turned to silence, and I heard footsteps outside of the barn. I tried to get up, but was dizzied from the pain in my abdomen. The door creaked open, and a flashlight shone in. My name left Joel’s mouth as he caught sight of me. “The fuck are you doin’ in here?” He grunted as he placed his flashlight down and pulled me to my feet. I swallowed. My mouth felt like it had been filled with cotton. “I uh… had a fight with my brother. Just needed somewhere to think.” He looked at me through the light peeking in through the door. “The hell did you do? Your nose is bleeding.” He said before reaching up to my face. I pulled away and pressed the sleeve of my shirt to my nose. “I’m fine.” I insisted as I used the wall to pull myself up. “You’re obviously not.” Joel grunted. “Joel? What was that?” Tommy asked as he appeared in the doorway. Joel and I’d heads snapped to look at the figure. “Everything alright?” Tommy questioned again. “Yeah, I just… tripped over something in the dark.” I said. “Well what were you doin’ in the first place?” Both of the men looked at me, then Joel turned to his brother and said pointedly, “She had a fight with her brother. Needed some peace and quiet.” Tommy shook his head and shrugged defeatedly, “A congratulations would have made things a whole lot easier.” I stood there awkwardly as the two men shared a tense look, and finally Tommy disappeared from the doorway after huffing angrily. 

“I’ll walk you home.” Joel said as we exited the barn. “I’d rather sleep in the stable.” I scoffed. He looked at me, seeming annoyed at first but his face quickly twisted into concern. “Jesus, your nose is bleeding like hell.” He breathed as he reached into his pocket to try and find something to wipe it with. His attempts were fruitless and he dropped his hands to his side. He looked to be struggling with something internally as his eyes shifted between me and the house we were standing in front of. I waited patiently, holding my hand to my nose to stop it from dripping onto my shirt even more. He sighed, “Dammit,”  and grabbed my arm before leading me into the house. “Joel, you don’t have to-” I tried to argue, but he pushed me onto a chair at the island in the small kitchen. He stalked over to the sink and wet a rag, then pulled a chair over to sit in front of me. “You’re always gettin’ yourself hurt.” He grumbled as he pressed the rag to the base of my nose. I winced at the contact, and his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on cleaning up the blood. “‘S probably broken.” I didn’t respond. Between the lightheadedness from the pain and the feeling of Joel being close to me again, I didn’t have much to say. For the first time, I didn’t feel patronized by him helping me, didn’t feel like it was some sort of peace offering. He wasn’t doing it because he had to, he was doing it because he wanted to.

I couldn’t help but watch him intently as he focused tending to my nose. He subconsciously leaned closer and closer, and I was able to feel his warm breath on the bare skin of my chest, causing goosebumps to rise there. All of a sudden, Joel froze. I’d been so distracted I hadn’t noticed my hand moving up to rest on the forearm of the hand that he was using the rag with. My first instinct was to pry it off panickedly, but that wasn’t what this moment was about. It wasn’t about instinct. My instinct was always to run away from the uncomfortable things, and it seemed like that was Joel’s too. It was about facing our fears. Joel had pushed his fear of caring for someone aside, and it was my turn to push through my fear of intimacy. 

My eyes didn’t leave his as I pushed down on his forearm, lowering his hand to the table. His face was inches from mine, and soon milimeters away. I hesitated, but was encouraged by a hand on the back of my head pulling me into a gentle kiss. He pulled away and looked at me in a way that seemed like he was asking for approval. I answered his question by standing off of my stool and pressing my lips to his once more. His hands moved to grip my waist as our lips began to move together, our desperation for each other taking over once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer so that I was standing between his legs. His hands slid underneath my shirt and traveled up my back, his fingers gently gliding across my skin sent shivers up my spine. His hands continued up onto my neck, lingering there, then tangled in my hair and pulled at it lightly. I bit his bottom lip as I pulled away and looked into his eyes. They were staring at me hungrily, and widened slightly as he felt my hand press up against his firm length through his jeans. I felt him twitch against me and watched his face as I began to rub him gently. His eyes closed and he let out a long, heavy breath. His obvious pleasure fueled my fire and I leaned in to close the gap between our lips again. He met me with just as much hunger. I pulled lightly on his jacket to get him to stand, and pushed him backwards towards the couch. He stumbled backwards, drunk with lust, and sat down. He practically worshipped my body with his eyes as I stood over him. I straddled his legs and sat down, pressing myself against his excitement. His hands slid up the sides of my thighs and onto my hips as I instinctively grinded against him. He breathed into my ear as I leaned down and pressed gentle kisses into the scruff on his jaw. My hands traveled down to the hem of my t-shirt and I began to pull it over my head, but Joel caught sight of my bruise again and was pulled back to reality. “I think that’s enough for tonight.” He gently pushed me up and off of him, “I think.. you should get some sleep. I’m sorry, I lost control.” He stood and adjusted himself through his pants. I couldn’t help but feel rejected again. “Was that another mistake?” I scoffed. He glared at me, “You know it wasn’t.” I sat all the way up now, facing him, “Then why did you stop?” I pressed. “I didn’t want things to get out of hand.” He said as he plopped down on the couch and slid his hands down his face. “What does that mean?” I questioned again. “You know…” I rolled my eyes, “Joel.” He groaned, now fully backed into a corner. “I just don’t want you to get attached.” He finally said.           

 There it was. The familiar feeling of my stomach dropping. Of course. Of course he would find a way to ruin this, just as we were connecting further. “You don’t need to worry about that.” I spat as stood up walked towards the door, and as my hand gripped the doorknob he finally spoke, “Where are you goin’?” I turned around and hooked my hands onto my hips, “To sleep in the stable in the hay. Like the baby Jesus.” He rolled his eyes at my attempt at comedy and stood up off the couch, “You’re not sleepin’ in a stable.” I straightened my back as he approached, “What do you care? I thought we weren’t getting attached.” He placed his hand on the door frame above my head, “You’ll annoy the horses.” I saw a smirk threaten the corner of his mouth, and a full smile stretched across mine. For the first time in months, I almost laughed.

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Author's note:

Hi all! Sorry for the wait! Finals are coming up and I've had a lot of school work to do, but I've been trying to work on the fic as much as possible. <3

Taglist:

@demonsasss @ayamenimthiriel @ashleyfilm

Masterlist

[musicmyxiii]

It’s been the longest time that I have been this active in a fandom and it feels good. Thanks Bridgerton season 3 (especially Colin & Pen) to have me forget about my adult life and make me feel like a total fan girl again! 💛

[garvalhaminho]

"marriage of convenience is just fake-dating w extra steps" well yes!! why do you think i like it