#slightly nsfw?

[snailjo]

I like when they are domestic (freaks)

Charlie is like a big teddy bear for pim to crawl all over and they both love it

[rilkeantulip]

recently rewatched deathnote *_*

[l0ve-lett3r-4-u-txt]

This is what I’ll do if I ever get my paws on him

[overwhelmed-cactus]

Tower-off recap

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Thinking about Ace Miguel. Thinking about sex-repulsed Ace Miguel.

Ace4Ace Miguel. Miguel who avoids sex at all costs unless it's 1) with his longtime partner 2) with the intent to concieve and 3) planned in advance.

Like ALL THREE must be true or else he's like 'Absolutely not. Do not ask me again.'

Like Miguel's wife Inca-Spider Moche is only 4'11 and people (mainly Peter) like to poke fun and make jokes about the size difference like 'Ha I'd hate to be her back on a Friday night' as if they're going at it like animals when in reality it's like

'My dearest husband, would you like to engage in coitus during our 30 minute lunch break on Thursday two days from now?'

'Lyla what's my schedule look like for Thursday?'

'Uhhh... Clear?'

'Good. Put us down for Thursday at 12:00'

'... And what am I supposed to list this under?'

'Sex.'

Then after their romp that lasts less than 15 minutes they spend the rest of the week bent over two dozen pregnancy tests and if it comes up negative they're like 'Fuck!!! We have to do the thing again 😐😩'

Jess and Peter are like 'What do you mean have to?? You're married!!'

Leave it to Miguel and Moche to suck the fun outta sex - instead they crochet together. And go to salsa lessons. And watch the Great British Bake Off while doing face masks.

Sex with your wife? Messy! Time consuming! Sweaty!

Bowling with your wife? Fun! Competitive! No clean up! What's not to love!!!!

It's a good thing everytime they do conceive they end up with twins or triplets. Miguel asked for 1, they ended up with 8.

[life-as-a-gamergirl]

Lord!Jaskier and Commander!Geralt AU part 2

You can find the first part here.

A good morning

Geralt: *knocking once and coming into the young lord's room at the previusly agreed hour ready to scort Jaskier in the castle to attend his duties* "My lord, I'm here to…"

Jaskier: *standing in a sexy pose, which is completely by chance and not planned at all, in the middle of the room,only in his underwear, which is casually the pair that makes his ass look better* "Oh, I'm sorry, my dear. Is it time to go down already? I must have lost myself looking at the view. Isn't it lovely?" *turns his head towards the window, showing off his neck and arching his back a bit more.*

Geralt: *face completely neutral, keeping his eyes respectfully above the young lord's neck.* "I'll wait for my lord outside" *does a small bow keeping his eyes locked with Jaskier's, turns around and leaves.*

Jaskier: oh you're a hard one, uh? Even more fun. Let's see how long you can resist my charm.  

*Horny evil bard-lord cackling noises.*

Meanwhile outside his room

Geralt *as red as a tomato* what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.

[vnknowcrow]

How it feels being into craig boone

[princess-ibri]

How could anyone have sex with Cruella?

1. Before the cigarettes all kicked in at once she used to look like this:

And 2:

And 3: Dude there are people IRL thirsting over like, every Disney Villain, there's gonna be people in Cruella's version of Our World who are gonna be just as willing

[kaiser-s-bitch]

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH CHILDE.

YOU ARE A GENIUS.

also I do not know what this is just take it lmao

————————————————————————

Childe/Tartaglia as fwb (implied nsfw)

• he is like, THE perfect candidate for a fwb relationship, it just makes so much sense

• he’s a busy guy that can‘t afford getting too attached to anyone or anything, his job as Fatui Harbinger neither grants him the time nor the safety for that

• the two of you got along right off the bat, you quite literally running into him in the streets of Liyue

• you had piqued his interest, for you hadn’t stuttered or even blushed after bumping into him

• you had merely looked him dead in the eye with a curious look as you politely apologized for your carelessness

• truth be told, you had bumped into him on purpose, and you knew that he knew that too

• he‘s a handsome and charming guy, one that had caught your eyes over the past few days you’d seen him do business around town, and you hadn’t been able to fight off the urge to get to know him

• he had noticed your silent gaze on him, locking eyes with you every now and then, contemplating whether to go and talk to you

• but he never did, he had been very busy recently and hadn’t quite gotten the time to dally around, so he’d opted for merely enjoying your attention for the time being

• but he certainly wasn’t complaining that you had been the first one to finally make a move, if anything it had just made you even more interesting

• "Oh I would indeed call it careless to strike up a conversation with me, little girlie" he chuckles mockingly, "Especially since you must be very well aware of my occupation by now, no?"

• you scoffed lightly at his remark "Indeed I am. It’s not like you’ve been doing anything to try and hide it, rich boy"

• "Hahaha that’s true. So what might a pretty lady such as yourself possibly want with a bad guy like me? Looking for a sugar daddy, maybe?"

• Hah, far from it

• you did not care for his money one bit

• something about him had merely piqued your interest, and you surely weren’t against having some fun with a good-looking guy such as him

• and after some more banter and him eventually inviting you to a drink, fun you had

• after spending that first night with him, you had "the talk" about how neither of you was looking for a relationship, but you told him you’d enjoyed yourself a lot with him and he in turn let you know that "it would indeed be a shame if this had been the last time"

• so you agreed to meet up in front of Liuli Pavilion two days from now after he’s finished a job of his

• ofc you showed up, but not right in front of the building - it would be way too embarrassing for you to tell the staff you were waiting for someone and him ultimately ending up not coming

• so you kept an eye out for the tall ginger from a short distance, and your tense body slumped slightly after he still hadn’t made an appearance half an hour past the agreed time

• "Hey girlie" a familiar voice mused right next to your ear and made you flinch

• "Thought I‘d ghosted you, sunshine? *sigh* Just how lowly do you think of me?"

• you had to admit, part of you had indeed expected just that, and yes, you might have been just a bit disappointed at the thought of it

• but in reply you just lightly nudged his shoulder with your fist and commented "I was not too far off, seeing as punctuality obviously is no virtue of yours, ill-mannered northerner"

• he pretended to have taken a hit right to the heart, accompanied by a dramatic hiss "Ouchhh, that hurt. Then will you allow me to make it up to you, milady?" "I might consider it over a glass of wine"

• the relationship between the two of you is lighthearted and teasing, both just enjoying each other’s company and making flirty remarks whenever you got the chance

• it was genuinely fun to hang out and talk with him, the lively conversations that never ran dry being a nice distraction from your strenuous daily life

• and after a particularly stressful day of work, you could always just let yourself sink into his bed and count on him to spoil you to bits

• and so could he

• he’s very vocal and assertive in general, and he’s no different in the bedroom

• additionally, neither of you have any qualms telling the other what you like and what you don’t, you‘re not in a relationship after all

• you couldn’t care less for his reputation or occupation, the only thing that mattered to you was how he was around you and how he treated you

• and it would be more than a stretch to claim he was anything short of a gentleman

• a big dick for sure, but nothing you couldn’t handle (both literally and metaphorically LMFAO)

• it‘s only a matter of time until at least one of you would catch feelings and things would become complicated and probably painful

• but for now, things were easy and uncomplicated, so this is definitely a bridge you intend to cross once you get there, not a second sooner

[breadandbloodybutter]

Have you ever noticed the sound that an apple makes?

When you sink your teeth into it's soft flesh, leaving the evidence of your mark, the indentations against delicate, fragile skin. Just as you could be ruthless enough to hear the crunch from the workings of the jaw, like bones breaking beneath one's might.

How delicious would your juices be that drip down the chin, or between my fingers, that I might taste it from each one. Apples can be sweet, tart, baked into another form. Moldable, breakable! So many, many uses, oh apple of my eye.

Watching the green bloom into red, tending to your growth until you are ready; ripe enough for the plucking. For when I hold you in my hands, whether it be the delicate or the jaws - you will be devoured, you will be savoured! For what other purpose have you ever fallen from your branches for?

My sweet, sweet, delicacy; I will bring out the very best of you to dine on, right down to the core that I will thoroughly enjoy worming my way through until you wither and rot.

[s0d0mizer--s0d0mizes]

just a lil vid to put out while working on my redesigns

[thornedraven]

anchor up to me, love

[sian-is-really-rather-gay]

I’d watch it

[bendiciones444]

ʚ♡⃛ɞ some recent pictures of me ʚ♡⃛ɞ

[hxlcycnx]

closed starter || astarion anuncin and anna marie “rogue”

astarion loved thursdays. thursdays meant he was working, and it also meant he would get to see his favorite police officer. if there was one thing he loved more than bantering with someone, it was someone who could banter back. he didn’t expect anything with the other, he wouldn’t be surprised if she hated his guts. still, he had to make his work day entertaining somehow, and she was more fun than he could hope for.

“hello, darling.” astarion purred, leaning against one of the pillars that held up the decorated courthouse. “you know, you look so strong handling those criminals. handcuffing them and what not.” he smirked.

@sunshiinefades

[fried-milk-bun]