#sirius black needs a hug

[neverenoughmarauders]

Sirius' big mistake

I have to ask the same question as @goldenlionprince: Am I sorry for this? Yes, yes I am. It's that damn plot again... So demanding...

As you will no doubt remember from the stress/heartbreak @goldenlionprince brought to you in the last ficlet, Sirius and James have had an argument. This piece picks up shortly after Sirius leaves James' flat. All of this is part of @sorenphelps wonderful The Bodyguard AU.

--

‘You’re fired.’

The words still ring in Sirius’ ears as he leaves James’ flat. That evening, Sirius doesn’t go to his own place, which he has barely set foot in these last few months anyways. Instead, he walks the streets of London until sunlight. It’s not like he needs much sleep, and the little sleep he should get would have escaped him. This way, he hopes that by the time he collapses into bed, his head will be quiet. Quiet and free of James Potter.

Fired?

James had some bloody nerve to fire him. It was all the more infuriating for James’ suggestion—nay, accusation—that Sirius cared more about his job than James. James was his bloody job. For all his intelligence, his employer—his former employer, Sirius corrected with another surge of anger—was really thick sometimes.

Thinking he might get some breakfast, Sirius walked into PAUL, only then realising that he’d walked into the branch which was conveniently located by the cathedral by the same name. A sandwich (no cranberries or turkey this time, thank you very much) and coffee in hand, he took a seat outside. This afforded him a clear view to Temple Bar. They used to display the heads of traitors on spikes here, and Sirius finds that matches his mood perfectly.

However, once Sirius has let the food sink a little, and the coffee has helped clear his mind, he realises that his behaviour is, perhaps, a little unprofessional. James still needs a bodyguard. Sirius isn’t petty. He will keep James safe until Kingsley can step in. In time, James should be able to find a more permanent replacement. 

Postponing his journey home Sirius therefore heads for the underground. He’s not a big fan of taking the tube, but he can’t afford to leave James like this for much longer. Thankfully, James is not a morning person, so Sirius doesn’t expect him to have left for work yet. He will find James at his flat. His own bed—the one that is a long, safe distance from James Potter—will just have to wait.

Maybe Sirius is less alert than usual, his mind preoccupied with the idea of seeing James again after their fallout. Maybe there was nothing that could have prepared him as he pressed his finger to the keypad. After all, there are only three people in the world who can operate this. Only three sets of fingerprints allow access to James’ flat. So when the door swings open, Sirius is prepared to see James, probably bent over his laptop sending a couple of emails before he leaves for work. What he is not expecting is to see the flat turned upside down. The sofa standing on its side, the table now only splinters, shards of glass from the vase breaking under his feet as he enters the scene of a crime. 

What crime though? 

Sirius is trained for this, conditioned to keep his cool: his heart steady, his mind clear, his body alert, his eyes observant. He knows he is looking for two things: assailants still roaming the flat, ready to attack, and a body—gravely injured or dead. Everything else are second-order concerns. Yet, he’s frozen, because his eyes refuse to search for James’ lifeless corpse. 

James can’t be dead.

Sirius’ last words cannot have been the last thing he told the man that he - It just can’t! 

‘I’ll be surprised if you survive until tomorrow.’

Why had he said that? What had he done? 

Telling himself that he can push away the all-consuming fear, Sirius sets to work. If his hands are trembling, his vision blurred, his head racing and his body numb; if he stumbles ever so slightly on the upturned corner of the rug, nobody is there to see it. 

Pushing open the door to James’ bedroom, his heart thumping violently against his ribs, his first thought is to scan the bed and floor. There is no body. Sirius lets out a breath he did not know he had been holding. 

Yet, this is the start of the catastrophic events. James was sleeping when they came for him, that much is obvious. Two people, Sirius guesses, and they made one fatal mistake. They underestimated his tech nerd. The crutch on the floor tells Sirius that James grabbed the first thing within reach. James’ leg had long since healed but the latest run, the race up the stairs—and subsequent activity—had rendered it too sore and stiff. So they’d left the crutch within arm's length, just in case. 

Crutch to the crotch, Sirius guesses, and had the situation not ended the way it must have, Sirius would have laughed. It was so typical James. But what else would have incapacitated guy number one, allowing James to jump out of bed and… what? Ram the other guy. It’s all educated guesses, but this happens to be Sirius’ area of expertise. In his mind’s eye, he can picture James, who would now be free of the two men. James would have rushed into the living room, wanting to get to the entrance. Sirius would have been able to tell James that the Death Eaters would have left a third man by the door, to prevent an escape should things not go to plan. 

What did James do? He grabbed the vase, Sirius realises, chucked it at the person by the door. It was a spirited attempt, but even James must have realised it was futile. 

James stood no chance. The two other Death Eaters would have recovered by now. Still, the state of the living room tells Sirius that James did not go down without a fight. 

Of course not, James had been fighting for his life. He had been forced into a corner he was not equipped to navigate out from. This had been a situation those around James had predicted could happen. It had been what had driven James, desperate to be free and to live his life, to hire Sirius to begin with. 

There was no more life to be led for James Potter. His bodyguard had failed him. 

‘I’ll be surprised if you survive until tomorrow.’

All James had wanted was to be with him, and Sirius had blown him off… and left him to die. Because James is dead—or will be very soon. Sirius knows this. Death Eaters only ever take people for two purposes: either they have a use for them, or they need to get rid of them. James has been a relentless pain in their arse—the way only James can be—for months. They needed him gone.

Sirius staggers towards the bedroom again, because a voice in his numb brain is telling him there’s something of relevance there. It is hard, impossible even, to make anything out because his mind is filled with images of James. 

James is grinning at him from the sofa, no longer upturned, and tells him to take his time in the shower, laptop balanced on his lap, his bad knee propped up on pillows. James flops down on the sofa next to him, wanting to interrogate- sorry, to question him, and they end up talking about dino nuggets. James, unable to sleep, joins him on the sofa, leans his body against him and later kisses Sirius. 

Sirius had let James fall asleep that night, after they’d made out like teenagers. What he should have done was to undress him, have him right then and there, kiss every inch of his body and tell him just how much Sirius was in love with him. Back then he had still had a chance to tell James this. Now that is an opportunity he will never have again. 

New memories assault Sirius more forcefully still as he re-enters the bedroom. James trying to hide his attempts to get at Voldemort; James wanting to show Sirius Rosier Sr being bullied by his wife; James and him, a tangle of sweat and rain and limbs and moans and kisses. 

James cannot be gone. 

Sirius is barely aware of making it to the en-suite. The ham and cheese sandwich from earlier forces its way out and into the loo. It’s a long time since anything made him vomit. It takes far more than a crushed skull or intestines that have been torn from the body to make Sirius be sick. Yet this is more than any man should be asked to stomach. 

For a few moments longer, Sirius lets himself feel the pain. A howl escapes him, like an injured dog. Sirius Black is wounded and in ways he is not sure he can recover from. 

James doesn’t even know his name. Didn’t know his name! A sob escapes Sirius as he makes the mental correction. James didn’t know that Sirius loved him. So fucking much. 

‘I’ll be surprised if you survive until tomorrow.’

Another howl or sob or scream—Sirius isn’t quite sure which—escapes his lips. Sirius did this. He left James. And the last thing he did to the most important person in his life was to taunt him. 

Please, Sirius finds himself begging there on the bathroom floor. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t be dead. Please, James, know that I love you.

Please forgive me.

But there’s nobody to hear his prayers. James will never hear him beg. Sirius had sworn it would be so, and now it had come true. 

No more words. No more laughter. It is too cruel that Sirius will never hear James’ laugh again.

Nothing can undo the damage he has inflicted. James is gone. They’ve taken him, and in this moment, somewhere in London, they are either killing him, or disposing of his body. 

Sirius Black has failed James Potter. There is nothing Sirius can do now. Or…

The bed. 

Something stirs in Sirius’ mind. James was lying in his bed when they got to him. That means he couldn’t have opened the door to his murderers. Yet there is no sign of the door being broken or tampered with. 

There are only three people with access to that door.

Sirius mind travelled back to where he’d started his morning. Temple bar. The gate of the traitors. He has a head to spike; a rat to sniff out; a man to punish cruelly. Inflicting pain upon the small, watery-eyed man may remove some of the near suffocating guilt; some of Sirius’ desire to hurt himself for having left James alone to be taken and -. No, Sirius needs to keep his eyes on the target. He has only one job now that the world has lost all meaning. That job is to hunt down the traitor Peter Pettigrew. 

[lonely-parrot]

Sirius craves human touches. Sometimes, he feels like a drug addict, needing it to be able to survive. The only problem is that he doesn’t know how to ask for it. It always feels ridiculous to ask, ‘hey, can you hug me, I feel like I’m going to die otherwise?’. Sirius doesn’t ask that. So, he does what he knows. He flirts helplessly, desperately, until he makes out with all the girls of the castle that he can. He flirts and he sleeps with someone for the first time. He flirts, he flirts, and he flirts. He wants contact. He craves the moment the hands get on his body. He craves the moment, after the sex, when the girl just grips his body until she’s calm enough. He wants these moments to never end.

DON'T LET THE SUNLIGHT BLAST YOUR SHADOW

Or: a 15k one shot about Sirius' fifth year (minus the Prank)

[iwriteasfotini]

Sirius is the big spoon.

Remus is the big spoon.

Sirius is the little spoon.

Remus is the little spoon.

Wolfstar as it should be.

[loonyloopylupin96]

[wizardingworldlibrary]

Sirius Black Needs a Hug Masterlist

A Brothers Sacrifice (ao3) - orphan_account sirius/remus, james/lily T, 43k

Summary: Sirius Black cared about his brother more than anybody else in the world. He would do anything for him. Anything.

So if he had to spend the next seven years with a majority of bigoted idiots, then so be it.

Or

A Slytherin! Sirius story

breathing in your dust (ao3) - FoxgloveWrites11 sirius/remus G, 1k

Summary: Remus can hardly bear his own yearning anymore, when Sirius has another one of his nightmares.

changes (ao3) - siriusmione sirius/hermione E, 56k

Summary: After a drunken and reckless one night stand, Sirius and Hermione are in for a shocking (and life changing) surprise.

Easy To Love (5+1) (ao3) - GardenerSnake8822 sirius/snape M, 7k

Summary: Sirius Black has never prided himself on being a very observant or perseptive man. He has always been a man of action, of response. Sirius just wasn't wired that way. He liked things clear, in his face. He noticed when it was impossible not to. But, it still leaves a bad taste in his mouth when he realizes what he's missed. This morning he doesn't even really understand what he's missed. Even after he caught it.

(Five times Severus flinches in front of his long-term partner, Sirius, and the time they finally talk about it.)

love grows (where my remus goes) (ao3) - balladofmoony sirius/remus G, 3k

Summary: Remus Lupin is seven, dramatic, and hopelessly in love. Sirius Black is to blame.

"Your hair is nice... and um... black."

My little star... (ao3) - Ceph_Esel77 N/R, 1k

Summary: Regulus felt a little too sad and now Sirius feels guilty for it.

Naive Melody (ao3) - NotHalfAScheme sirius/remus T, 1k

Summary: A series of letters exchanged between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin in the years 1976-1996.

October 31st, 1982 (ao3) - LorWrites28 sirius/remus G, 6k

Summary: "They lost everything, but they saved each other."

After Sirius’s wrongful imprisonment, Remus discovers the truth behind Peter’s betrayal through a letter from Lily. They fight to free him from Azkaban, risking everything for redemption.

Only You (ao3) - cassierin sirius/remus, remus/tonks N/R, 5k

Summary: Sirius is out of Azkaban Remus is getting married and will become a father

But Sirius is still madly in love with him.

"Sometimes love isn't enough."

Angst.

shorn and scarred and yours (ao3) - lynxindisguise sirius/remus, james/lily, marlene/dorcas T, 50k

Summary: A Slytherin! Sirius AU, in which Sirius is disowned after destroying his Dark Mark and finds himself homeless, friendless, and worst of all, bored. Enter Gryffindor's resident bad boy, Remus Lupin.

The Beautiful and Most Tragically Damned (ao3) - sdsea44 sirius/hermione, james/lily, narcissa/kingsley, remus/ofc E, 186k

Summary: On the night of the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione Granger is swept out of harms way by an unknown savior. Waking up in an unclear location, seemingly alone, she meets an unlikely ally that will give her the tools she needs to change the world as they know it.

The Night The Moon Wept (ao3) - LorWrites28 james/lily T, 4k

Summary: "Sometimes, the greatest love stories end in silence."

On their final night, James and Lily Potter are faced with an unimaginable betrayal. As danger closes in, they must make the ultimate sacrifice to protect their son and each other, knowing their world is about to be shattered forever.

To Be Forgotten (ao3) - LorWrites28 G, 5k

Summary: “Sometimes, the greatest acts of heroism are the ones no one will ever see.”

In To Be Forgotten, Regulus Black grapples with duty, family, and sacrifice, ultimately choosing to betray Voldemort to protect the ones he loves. As he faces death, he realizes the life he never lived—his love, regret, and untold truths—before he drowns, lost and forgotten to history.

Visiting the past (ao3) - Thechickenparlor sirius/remus G, 2k

Summary: Sirius uses the time turner but it malfunctions and takes him back 5 years instead of 5 hours. James has died and he’s trying to save him. Euphemia is there to comfort him.

What I Must Ask You To Do (ao3) - VeraRose19 sirius/snape N/R, 245k

Summary: Severus Snape had made his choices long ago and didn't think he deserved forgiveness or to ever be happy. However, learning to accept that he was not the only person capable of change would lead him to a brighter future with the family he had never had. Coparenting Harry Potter with Sirius Black had never been part of his deal with Albus Dumbledore, but it had somehow become Snape’s greatest role of all. Begins at the end of The Goblet of Fire.

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius Black and the Black Family Trauma.

Sirius waking up to every little noise he hears at night, going without sleep completley on nights Peter snores.

Sirius never starting fights but being damn sure to have the mentality to finish them, throwing people to the floor, punching them while they're down, a rage like none other unleashing every time.

All because his father would call him a quitter, a disgrace. He'd tell him that real men finish fights, that Sirius was no son of his if he was this weak.

Sirius smoking instead of eating some nights because the food was so obviously prepared by house-elves it made him think of home and that made him sick.

Sirius slipping into silence when uncomfortable or being lectured, absolutley unable to bring himself to talk or make eye contact with anyone.

Sirius flinching at raised hands and clenching his jaw at loud noises.

Sirius breaking a dish and his hands immediatley start shaking before he even realizes it's happening.

And Remus.

Remus being the one to kiss him and make it all better.

Remus staying up and rocking him to sleep, humming under his breath.

Remus cleaning his knuckles after every fight, reminding him to practice breathing and walking away next time.

Remus telling Sirius that he isn't weak for caring, that love isn't a burden that holds you back.

Remus telling Sirius he's the strongest person he knows and how he means it whole heartedly every time.

Remus feeding him little snacks throughout the day because something is better than nothing and Sirius doesn't think anything of it.

Remus warning their friends to back off when Sirius goes quiet, apologizing for him to teachers because he knows Sirius can't always speak.

Remus' voice being notoriously softer around Sirius than everyone else, never bringing Sirius into a tough conversation without making sure he was okay first.

Remus noticed the flinching immediatley and has never raised his hand like that in all the years they've known each other.

Remus being the one to find him with the dish, wordlessly cleaning it up and taking Sirius to bed so they could lay together in silence until the shaking stops.

Remus Lupin knowing Sirius inside and out, knowing his flaws and loving him in spite and because of them.

Remus Lupin being the glue that slowly pieces Sirius back together until the shaking stops for good.

Just Remus being perfect for Sirius and Sirius never knowing how to pay him back.

Not for a second would Remus ever want him to, Sirius feeling comfortable enough to allow Remus to love him at his worst was always more than enough.

[exoras-deus]

Regulus stumbling out of the Potter's fireplace, trembling to his core, two years after Sirius did. Two years.

aka a timeline in which Regulus managed to get away before it was too late

And isn't it funny that both heirs of the Noble House of Black ended up in the same place, in the same state (traumatized✨), both falling in the arms of their brother. Such happy lives they have :)

I thought I wasn't gonna be an angst account but I very obviously was lying to myself (but hey, that scene's the beginning of better days, isn't it?)

[moonysraygun]

"Remus gets irritated easily near the full moon"

"Remus has a really high sex drive near the full moon"

Yeah well Remus also shuts down near the full moon. He lays in bed all day and doesn't speak a word and loses his appetite easily and he may start crying because he feels like a burden to his friends with how constant his mood changes and he doesn't think they deserve to have to deal with him.

[beesunshiny]

I can’t explain how much I love the hc of Reg & Monty having a special bond. I love the whole idea of them just being in the home lab together (which Sirius and James are 1000% warded out of lol).

I love that Regulus gets so excited to go see Monty when breaks hit because that means they get to come up with potion theories together.

& I love that all of this counts as internship experience so that means Regulus gets to work with Monty as his apprentice. Regulus is entrusted with all the family business secrets, & when Monty retires early Regulus will inherit the business.

I love that Monty is always giving Regulus advice & spilling James’s most embarrassing moments (James is mortified).

I love the hc that Reg is Monty’s favorite.

[managone16]

Regulus Black was drowning. The icy grip of the Inferi drags him under, water flooding his lungs, darkness swallowing him whole. He doesn’t fight it. He’s done what he came to do. At least this death is his own choice.

Then—nothing.

He doesn't know what to feel. Everything felt so numb, so tiring . He almost wanted to wish that the process was quicker. But then—

James.

James Potter, the sun of his life. Regulus' whole world had revolved around him at one point, so how did he end up here? Darkness was ever consuming around him, hurling and threatening to capture him. Suddenly, he didn't want that. He wanted James.

Movements became frantic. He pushed and pulled, limbs a mess as they moved violently. He tried and tried, but it was all darkness, darkness, darkness.

And then—light.

He stumbles forward, gasping, but the water is gone. No cavern, no Inferi, no locket. Instead, the gleaming arches of Platform 9¾ stretch around him, the air thick with the scent of steam and distant laughter.

In front of him stands James Potter, hand outstretched in greeting. His features were softer, younger. Nostalgia hit him as he remembered the very moment from before.

Regulus didn't think. He lunged forward, gripping James in a desperate hug, hands fisting in his robes like an anchor. James stiffened—startled, confused—but after a heartbeat, his arms come around Regulus, steady and warm.

"Alright, mate," James murmurs, his voice steady, familiar. "You're safe."

Regulus clinged harder, chest heaving. He doesn’t know where—when—he is.

But for the first time in a long time, he isn’t alone.

[rogata453]

If you’re blaming Sirius for leaving, I don’t trust you. Sirius didn’t owe Regulus a thing. Yes, they both lived in that house, and yes, neither of them deserved that. Yes, Sirius had James and Regulus didn’t. But was it Sirius’ fault that Regulus chose to stay and become Death Eater? No, it was not. I hate what happened to Regulus with me whole fucking heart, but Sirius is not the one to blame. Walburga and Orion are. Voldemort is.

Sirius was a child when he ran away. He was sixteen. SIXTEEN. I don’t care if your headcanon is that Sirius was physically or verbally abused. It doesn’t matter if he was tortured or just hated but never phycisally hurt. The point stands - he was better off leaving, and I will defend him for the rest of my life.

And here’s the thing: Sirius leaving wasn’t just about survival. It was about choosing himself for the first time, about refusing to let his family break him down any further. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Blaming him for escaping is cruel and shows a complete lack of empathy for his situation.

Yes, it’s tragic that Regulus stayed behind, that he felt trapped in a world that Sirius managed to escape. But Regulus’ choices - though shaped by his circumstances - were his own. Blaming Sirius for his brother’s fate is unfair and oversimplifies a deeply complex situation.

Sirius’ decision to leave wasn’t a betrayal - it was an act of survival. And survival is never something to apologize for.

[neverenoughmarauders]

Sirius couldn’t bear the thought that someone like James Potter had existed, only to be taken away like that. James was the sort of person Sirius would never even have been able to imagine, because he wouldn’t ever have believed someone like that could have lived. James had been flesh and blood and love and trust and bravery and goodness. He had been real. He couldn’t be gone.

[brigid-faye]

Wolfstar lie low Drabble, shout out to irl beta @remakaz ❤️🫶🏻 you are the best travel buddy and tech* date ever (*tesco)

-

He’s been lying low at Remus’ for seven days. It’s after the seventh time he catches Remus’ eyes flicking down to his lips (over a cup of tea, standing in the kitchen) that the question in Sirius’ chest finally escapes his mouth.

“How can you still want me?”

After a week of what Sirius knows, dimly, is wild rantings and vacant silences, insomnia and night terrors, it’s this that makes Remus Lupin look at him like he’s crazy.

One eyebrow up, the opposite corner of his mouth a bit quirked, a head tilt that makes his curls fall over his forehead. It’s so achingly familiar, but jarring, too - the grey in his hair, the depth of the wrinkle between his eyes.

And -fuck fuck fuck all of this - Sirius should have been there for those changes, he wants to press his thumb against that wrinkle and push away all the pain and worries Remus has endured without him. Because of him.

Remus swallows his tea and sets his cup on the counter. He considers Sirius for a moment, opens and shuts his mouth. Frowns and deepens the wrinkle.

“I would have kissed you in that fucking shack, Sirius,” he says, low but even. “If we-I should have kissed you in-”

Sirius isn’t aware of closing the distance between them, he only knows that the kiss is messy and desperate and tastes like life. He’s been so scared that he will finally do the one more thing that will make Remus give up on him, shun him, hate him. Some one thing that will expose the too much in him, something that will reveal the terrified need he feels to hide in Remus’ bones, in the warm brown of his eyes.

But Remus is kissing him and breathing in gasps, nearly sobbing with relief and-

Oh.

Oh, you need me, too.

[iwriteasfotini]

In which Bellatrix whips out a knife, there is a mass muggle killing in Manchester, and James organizes a massive game of hide and seek.

[loonyloopylupin96]

In one school year Sirius became an animagus, ran away from home, pranked Snape and passed his OWLs.

The sheer turbulance that boy must have been feeling.

[unconventional-lawnchair]

We'll heal together: Chapter Three 1/2

Young Blood Noah Kahan

Peter Pettigrew x Reader (Platonic) / Sirius Black x Reader (Ambiguous-Past) / Remus Lupin x Reader (Ambiguous) / James Potter x Reader (Platonic)

Masterlist

Summary: Filler fluff featuring Remus, Harry, and a Patronus Charm

Cw: Use of {Y/N}, Dementor Attack, non-explicit and non-sexual nudity (please reach out if I missed something}

Wc- 1300

“Are you sure about this Harry? This is very advanced magic. Many witches and Wizards are unable to summon them even into their late years. Some never do.” Lupin mused from the top of the stairs, walking down to meet him.

“I’m sure.” Harry nodded, standing up taller as if to make himself seem more confident. “I am.”

“Well, everything is prepared.” Lupin mused, walking past him to sit atop a chest and looking up at the boy. 

“Now, what I am about to show you is called a Patronus Charm. Do not feel discouraged if you are unable to summon one immediately.” The professor continued, “You hear me, right Harry?”

Harry nodded firm, changing the grip on his wand. Lupin stood and walked over to stand beside him. “Now, close your eyes.”

“Professor?” Harry looked at Lupin strangely and Lupin shook his head. “Trust me, close them.” He mused and the boy listened, slowly closing his eyes.

“Now, raise your wand and think of your happiest memories, Concentrate. In order for it to work, you must think of a memory. And not just any. This memory needs to be one that brings you joy, peace, warmth. A Memory to spell away any darkness.” Lupin rattled on and walked over to the chest as Harry nodded, eyes opening. “Got something? Good. Let it fill you up. Lose yourself in it. Then speak the incantation,”

“Expecto Patronum.” Harry finished and Lupin smiled. “Ready?”

“Ready.” He nodded and Lupin took a breath.

“Concentrate, Harry. Concentrate...“ He urged before he suddenly yanked open the chest top. Shadows spilled from the chest, the darkness seemed to climb up the very walls to lean haughtily over Harry. The Dementor looked particularly horrific.

“Expecto… Patronum…!” He shouts and flicks his wrist, The spell fails, again, he shouted, only for a candle by his side to lose its flame. Harry felt the darkness slowly encase him. Still, he shouted. He shouted until his body grew tired and limp, until he fell to the ground and his breath left his lungs.

“Harry! Harry, here.” Lupin woke the boy and Harry leaned into his side. Remus felt his breath stop for a moment, as Harry tried to raise himself with Remus’s support.

He had experienced that once before, when he was merely a tot, leaning against his uncle Moony to try and climb up to his mother across the room. His lips thinned as Harry walked across the room, sitting down on the steps, away from the box like it physically ailed him. “I think I need a break.”

“Take your time. Here, eat this.” Lupin mused as he walked over and pulled some Chocolate from his pockets. He handed it over and Harry muttered a thanks before he took a bite.

“.. Something else is on your mind, isn't it? Hard to focus on the Charm?”

“I-” Harry paused as he remembered, he shouldn't know that information, he definitely shouldn't let Lupin know he knew of his Godfather and Godmother. He would have to explain how he found out, how he knew, and then explain why he couldn't get it out of his head. Certainly not long enough for him to think of anything happy enough to summon a patronus.

Lupin had found himself staring at Harry as he waited patiently for the child to continue. A part of him felt guilty. The way his head was downcast, the sharp edges of his nose and his hair hanging over his eyes. Without them, he could only see James. The man who should be standing where he was, teaching his son what he was, sharing the moment that he was. He knew if Lily could hear his thoughts he’d be torn a new one, if James heard them he’d surely cry. If {Y/N} heard them she’d probably give him those bright eyes, silent and patient, let him weep into her shoulder as she always did. Not a word exchanged between the two. No reassurance, no empty promises, just two humans in their rawest forms offering each other as support. He missed them.

“Professor?” Harry mused and looked up at Lupin. That snapped him from his thoughts. Lupin kneeled down beside Harry, taking the floor at his feet. “Yes, Harry?”

“What do you think of?” He asked curiously, and Lupin pursed his lips. 

“My happiest memory?”

“Yes.” Harry breathed, looking just past Remus’s shoulder.

“Well. It's rather complicated.”

“Is it?”

“It is… But, it's about me, your father, and a few of… the people we once knew. People I should not care for.”

~~

The sun slipped into the Shrieking shack early that morning. Remus was laying on his side, arms wrapped around a small and fluffy bundle. He hadn't slept that well in years during the full moon, and not a single new scar in sight. 

He slowly looked around. He had his bare back against a large beast, turning to see it was a stag, James, laying back to back with him. On James, was a large black dog and a plump rat, that brought a smile to Remus’s face instantly. They were here, and they were fine. He looked down into his arms and was greeted by the sight of a small silver fox, nose to his chest and long fluffy tail over her muzzle.

He felt safe, warm, and loved. He hasn't felt so loved, He couldn't help it, letting out a chuckle, slipping into a small sob. This woke the fox, who snapped its head up, hurrying to her feet and whipping her head around every direction. Remus sniffled and began to chuckle louder, making his sobs strangle him a bit, waking everyone else.

You turned to face Remus and he swore he could hear you squeak a sound of distress. He sat up fully and you ran towards him once more, mid run turning back to yourself and holding his cheeks to try and comfort him. He leaned down to bury his head into your neck, arms around your waist and sobbed. You rubbed his back, nose to his temple as the boys began to morph back into their normal forms.

James let out what sounded to be the war cry of a dying, well, stag, as he stretched out his body limb to limb. “Merlin, that will take some getting used to.” He mumbled and turned to face Mooning and he quickly hurried over to kneel by him and ruffled his hair. “You alright mate?” He fretted. James and You shared a look and you simply nodded. James hummed and looked down before his face slowly turned a soft pink. His head snapped away and you tilted your own.

That was, until you realized, all of you were at a certain level of undress. The final level really, you would have won, if being naked was the goal. You looked at the other boys and Peter had his back to you with red ears, hurrying to get dressed, James grabbed his robe and tossed it over you two as he slipped on his pants and practically shoved himself into you and Remus’s lap. You gave a choked laugh as Remus slowly grew silent, his laughter coming through more than his sobs. Sirius rolled his eyes before he hurried over and wrapped his arms around Remus’s shoulders from behind and made himself comfortable. Peter eventually turned around fully dressed.

He looked the group over and shrugged before he walked over to your side and reached over to hug the slightly shaking boy. 

Remus never felt so loved.

~~~

“It was the day I realized that no matter what happened, I would give my life for my friends.” Remus declared and smiled at Harry who stared at him curiously before he slowly smiled back, nodding. “I see.”