#sir please. get some sleep LMAO

[last-starry-sky]

kinktober day 26 - wet dream

könig x f!military!reader pt. 1 (pt. 2 HERE)

[MDNI - NSFW - MIND THE WARNINGS: 1.4k, power imbalance: König is reader's Colonel but nothing implicitly happens, ymmv, unwanted/forced shared sleeping situation, fingering, biting, and dryhumping in a dream.]

tag list (lmk if you'd like to be added!): @slut-lmao, @mishaglass

It couldn’t get any worse than this. Being stuck out on some sort of bullshit wilderness/survival drill for a whole week was bad enough, but the fact that you happened to draw the short stick and were paired up with your Colonel of all people, really really really made you feel like you had been cursed. 

You managed to spy a look his way while you were packing up while your troop prepared to hike out. The man was massive: tall and muscular. It made you hope he wouldn’t expect you to carry as much as he did. Considering you would be each other’s only company for the whole week, it wasn’t his physique that concerned you the most. 

“Ready?” he asked, all six plus feet of his bulky, veiled form suddenly looming over you.

“Yeah!” you squeaked, standing up from your crouch, fumbling as you tried to thread your arm through the straps. 

He just stood there while you floundered, face going hot under his emotionless gaze. When you were done, he nodded his helmeted head to the side, indicating that you should follow him down the dirt and gravel trail that would lead you up the mountain and to your campsite. 

“You have the map, yes?” he asked once you fell in stride with him. 

“Yes sir,” you said pulling the only slightly crumpled, folded paper map out of your back pocket.

“Good,” he replied, fingers tapping along the straps of his pack. “You’ll be in charge of that.” He looked down at you as you unfolded the map. You could feel his blue eyes burning holes in the side of your face as you walked along him. “You lead. I’ll follow, for once,” he said, a crack of insane laughter rippling out from behind his mask as he bumped his gloved fist lightly against your shoulder.

You responded with a shaky laugh of your own. “Ha ha. Yes, Colonel. Great idea.”

Oh, this week was going to be absolute hell. 

You did fairly well leading the two of you along the loosely defined “trail” drawn on the map. You also did better at scaling the mountain than your Colonel, his height and bulk working against him as the ground became increasingly vertical and the underbrush crowded in. It was nearing nightfall by the time you arrived at your predetermined site. 

“Stay here,” König told you, swinging his backpack off into the dry dirt beside you. “I’ll collect some wood, get a fire started.” 

You nodded absently at him, busy hunting through your pack for your lantern so that you would be able to see while setting up the tent. As he trampled away into the treeline your brain caught on that word. Tent. Tent singular.

Lord in heaven, you prayed on your knees, tightly rolled tent in your hands, if you exist, please please please don’t make me share a tiny tent with that giant, insane man for-

König dumped an armful of branches next to your lantern. He squatted down, silently setting about the task of breaking them one by one over his knee into manageable pieces for the fire. It was your turn to stare at him, ogling his strength as you sat on your boots.

“You . . . ah, do you . . .” you rambled while watching his hands. He stopped mid-snap, head turning to you. A shiver ran down your spine at his black, eyeless stare. “Did you bring a tent too?” you squeaked. 

Your heart sank when he looked away, shaking his head. He broke the branch three more times - crack crack crack - sound ringing around the small clearing.

“Better to be close together,” he said dusting off his hands, standing up, and gathering the pieces of wood together in a pile. “Warmth. Danger,” he said striking a match, the small, warm light dwarfed by his large hands as he cupped it next to the tinder pile. 

You shuffled uncomfortably in your sleeping bag. Sure, your body was exhausted, joints and muscles tired from the long day, but you worse mentally. Every time you heard a noise outside, or the man pressed next to you shuffle, you lay awake for minutes, not knowing what to expect. You would close your eyes, tell yourself it was nothing, and then-

“Need to sleep,” he said behind you, making you shake suddenly awake with fear. “Long day tomorrow.” 

You nodded, flopping onto your side. Maybe if you couldn’t feel him staring at you, your exhaustion could pull you under. You shivered, curling down into the flannel lining so that it covered your icy nose. That’s when you heard König unzip his pack. There was a tense moment of silence before he reached over and unzipped yours as well. 

You looked back at him over your shoulder, trembling more from cold than fear. He was halfway through zipping your sleeping bag to his when he looked up, catching your eye. It felt so weird to see him like this: dressed down in just his base layer, no veil, messy hair and scarred face left open for you to see. It made you wonder how many people had ever seen him like this. 

“Share some of my warmth with you, if you don’t mind,” he said pulling the zipper together, trapping you inside with him. He laid down on his back, scrubbing his hands over his eyes before continuing. “Plenty to give.”

You lay back down, not even bothering to give a response as his body heat slowly crawled over to fill your side of the shared sleeping bag. You curled up, wrapping your arms around your chest for some sort of comfort, and finally, miraculously, fell asleep.

Warm hands stroking down your arms. 

Breath caressing your cheeks as kisses pressed across your face, temple, mouth. 

The solid mass of a leg pressing up against your core, rocking you as the hard, trapped cock sawed against your ass. 

You moaned into the night, breath pouring out like steam. 

Kisses peppered down your jaw to your neck, where a sudden bite made you bow away from your attacker.

There was a dark chuckle muffled against your skin before an assault of nipping kisses came mercilessly, one after another along with your whining moans.

“So good, maus,” a husky voice murmured against your slick neck, “So good to me,”

Strong fingers pressed against your pussy, hot arousal leaking through the thin fabric.

You shuddered, squirming and moaning, as the fingers worked clumsily around your clit.

The hips behind you came to a sudden stop, erection nestled in the fat of your ass as a deep groan rang in your ear.

“More . . . more,” you plead, hips urging the still hand to touch you again.

A growl, then the hand was pulling you tight against the solid mass behind you.

An accidental tweak of your clit had you spiraling, unwinding, crying hot tears down your chilled cheeks.

You swore you heard a voice as a hand pet over your head, soothing you to sleep.

“Ja, there you are. Sleep, sleep sweet maus.”

When you next opened your eyes, the morning sun was blazing through the open flap of the tent. Coffee was brewing over the renewed fire, and König was shaving facing away from you. You quickly pulled on your boots and jacket, trying to get up and over to the fire as fast as you could despite the slick pooled in your underwear and wobbling legs.

König looked over at you as you crashed out of the tent. You swayed unintentionally from side to side as you walked, his eyes narrowed in on you for a second, thinking, before turning back to his shaving. 

“Sleep well?” he asked, waiting for you to pour yourself a cup of the mud he had prepared. 

“Yeah,” you croaked, practically choking on the godawful brew. 

“Good,” he said rolling up his shaving kit and dumping his wash water. “Rolled around a lot. Made a lot of noise, thought you were talking in your sleep,” he said nonchalantly, clearing his throat before standing. 

You froze with the cup in your hand, eyes wide, an endless pit of guilt opening in your stomach. Oh god, you thought, last night . . . were you . . . did you- 

“Almost had to wake you up, but you stopped. Anyway, when’s breakfast?” he asked, stretching his arms over his head, exposing his hairy lower belly as his shirt rode up. You looked away as your cheeks burned. 

Perhaps this week wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[lincolndjarin]

Bound in Beskar

From the world of Best Kept Secret...

A down on her luck traveler finds employment with a gruff Mandalorian. He's quiet and reserved, she's resourceful and quick witted, and things are heating up in the forge... one can only imagine what happens in this tale of lust and steel.

Some of you may recall our dear princess!reader in bks reading a book in chapter 20, this is that. Vaguely in the style of those campy romance novels that you read in the bathtub with candles and wine.

warnings : armorer!mando, no use of y/n, reader is not described past the fact that she is manhandled and carried by mando, smut, unapologetic porn with a little plot, i use the phrase 'throbbing member' just once i promise it's ironic please believe me guys, spanking, pussy slapping, dom/sub undertones, sir kink, unprotected sex, creampie, praise, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, humiliation, p in v sex, inappropriate use of blacksmithing abilities, ro makes things up about blacksmithing, bondage, use of restraints, briefly mentioned ass play, inappropriate use of a hammer, size kink, sweet rough sex, power imbalance (mando is readers boss, but both parties are consenting), definitely a few things i missed my apologies, barely beta read i was in a rush sorry!!

word count : 3.8k

a/n : this is so bad but also like i love it LMAO like i promise it's supposed to be kind of bad guys you have to believe me lmaoooo. this was really fun to do omfg this is my magnum opus in the worst way possible

You don’t know his name. 

There wasn’t even an interview. You’d come knocking on his door when you saw the sign in town on the news bulletin board. You’d shown up with everything you owned in the canvas bag on your hip as you knocked on the large brass door. The house didn’t look like a shop, it just looked like a house, a large house, when he finally opened the door you could see why. Just beyond his hulking figure you can see his work space, the majority of the building is devoted to just one room, high ceilings and brick walls surround the enormous forge. 

“I saw your flier for a live-in housekeeper, is the position still available?” You’re so sick of sleeping in alley ways and rooftops, you’d do nearly anything for adequate lodging. 

He had examined you, the cold, unfeeling steel of his visor scanning up and down your body until he nodded. 

“You can clean?” The low, controlled voice drips through the modulator making your blood run hot. 

“Yes, and cook.” You hold your hand out to him, he only nods in response as you tell him your name. 

“You start now.” Is all you get as he motions for you to step inside.

So yeah.

You don’t know his name and he never tells you.

So you just call him sir. 

The room is nicer than any you’ve ever had. A little space at the top of the stairs, a soft worn out mattress and a desk with a crooked stool. You take it with a grin, you can’t remember the last time you slept somewhere warm. 

You set your things down as he instructs you to follow him back downstairs. He shows you around, although there isn’t much to see. The main room is large with an open ceiling for the smoke, an ornate forge takes up the center, the fires crackle from within as he leads you to a small kitchen. 

The first thing you note is how barren it is. One skillet hangs from a hook and as you search through the drawers most of them are empty.

“I will give you extra credits this week for supplies.” He sounds almost embarrassed as he ushers you out of the room towards his own. “Once a week I’ll need you to tidy up here and do the laundry, it is of the utmost importance to me that you knock when you do.”

“Of course.” You nod slowly and he puts his hands on his hips. There’s a moment of silence before he turns and returns to his work without another word.  

You are to cook his meals, buy the groceries, clean the house, and stay out of his way. In exchange he provides housing and a salary of two hundred and fifty credits a week along with any change from the grocery money he gives you. 

You almost want to ask how no one else applied to such a generous job offer but the quiet foreboding presence of your employer makes it obvious enough. It wouldn’t surprise you if people feared him, you’re certainly a bit jumpy around him. He’s just so… big. He takes up so much space, stomping around the shop all day as you take care to stay out of his path, cleaning up the messes he leaves behind. 

You stay extremely vigilant, opportunities like this do not often arise for you so you give him no reasons to question your performance. 

You go to the markets, bundled up in your cloak once a week to keep the kitchen stocked. You wake before him to prepare his breakfast, you tidy up the forge before he opens the shop to make it presentable. You cook, you clean, you repeat. When there is no work to be done he dismisses you, telling you to make yourself busy elsewhere and you always do. Taking walks or retreating to your own quarters. 

You do this for quite some time. 

He doesn’t necessarily soften up towards you but he seemingly grows to tolerate you more. 

You try different things, baking, knitting, painting and anything else you can get your hands on but no hobby ever seems to stick so eventually you take to watching him work. Sitting at the top of the stairs, dangling your legs over the railing as he hammers the smoldering metals. He’s an artist really, the quick precision of his strikes with the hammer, bending steel to his will to craft the custom fitted pieces. It makes you wonder why his own armor looks so worn down when he clearly has a gift. Everything but his helmet is worn down, scratched up dark metals that he often tosses aside when he works late into the night. 

After long days of work when the shop is closed he’ll toss aside his chestplate and pauldrons, opting to remain only in his helmet as he rolls up his sleeves revealing the warm tan skin beneath. You always feel as though you can’t breathe right when he does this. His strong, toned arms, littered with burn scars from years of work. 

You can’t deny his appeal. 

Even without the armor he is huge. The wide expanse of his shoulders that smooth down into a narrow waist. You don’t even need to wonder about what’s going on under the helmet because everything else is just so much. Those hands, that neck, his chest, you’re practically drooling when you watch him work late into the night, sitting at the top of the stairs, clutching a steaming mug of caf as you squeeze your thighs together. You spend most nights with your hand between your legs thinking about your employer.   

It isn’t a bad life, it’s repetitive but it’s happy and safe which is more than you’ve ever had before. The Mandalorian treats you well, sometimes he speaks to you outside of orders, sometimes over dinner he asks you how your day was. You even have enough money to start a savings box. 

Nothing changes and you’re fine with that.

Until one night when he’s working late, working on something smaller and detailed. You had started to tidy up around him, already in your pajamas as you padded around the forge in your nightshirt and shorts. You were sweeping when it happened. 

“Kriff-” You slip on a scrap of fabric, you grab onto the ledge of the forge, trying to catch yourself. Your breath catches in your throat as you knock a hammer off of the stone, nearly falling face first into the molten metal.

You don’t even have time to scream as the wind is knocked out of you and you’re sharply yanked backwards away from the heat. 

“Do you have a death wish?” It’s the most emotion you’ve ever heard from him, anger that threatens to spill out of his helmet. “If you fall face first into that you’d be dead in an instant.” He hisses out, hands now shaking your shoulders. 

“I- I’m sorry, it was an accident.” Your face gets hot with shame as the veins in his neck pulse. “Please don’t fire me.” You whisper, fear of losing everything you’ve worked for over one simple mistake. 

He sighs.

“I’m not going to fire you, I’m just going to discipline you.”

“Discipli-” You start to question him but he sits down on the anvil, motioning you forward with two fingers before patting his lap. Your eyes go wide at the implication.

“Tell me to stop and you can go back upstairs, it won’t affect your job." He whispers earnestly.

You don’t want him to stop. 

So you go to sit in his lap but he clicks his tongue under his helmet.

“On your stomach.” His voice is lower than before as you swallow loudly, bending yourself over his knee, hiding your face in your hands. Your ass is on display for him under the short sleep shirt you wear. “How many do you think you need to learn your lesson?” 

“How many what, sir?” 

“How many spanks.”

Oh.

You pray to the Maker that you aren’t soaking through your shorts right now. 

“Umm… fifteen?” You aren’t exactly experienced in the subject but you don’t want to pick a number too low.

“Fifteen? Look at you my little over achiever, you must truly be sorry.” He muses with an amusement you’ve never heard from him. His large palm massages the globes of your ass, you’re so painfully turned on at this point you’re honestly a little worried you’re gonna come the second he starts. “And can you tell me why you’re being punished?” 

“B-because I knocked over your hammer?” You stammer out and you feel a sharp sting as he pinches your ass. 

“No, you sweet thing.” He bunches up your top a bit higher as he simultaneously yanks down your shorts pulling a yelp from you, he definitely knows you’re wet now. “It’s because you weren’t being careful, you weren’t focused on what you were doing and you almost got hurt.”

“No, I was focused I promise-”

“But you weren’t. You were sitting up there watching me, getting yourself all worked up and by the time you got down here you were so horny you got distracted and almost got yourself killed. What would I do without my pretty little housekeeper?” You’re speechless for several reasons. He knows why you watch him? He knows how much it turns you on? 

He called you pretty. 

And his. 

“Tell me why you’re being punished?” He repeats as you clear your throat. 

“Because I wasn’t paying attention.” You mumble. 

“I want the exact answer.” 

You’re so embarrassed you could just die but something about the shame makes your blood run hot as you rub your thighs together rather obviously, earning a chuckle from your companion. 

“Because I was so worked up from watching you and I was distracted, and I almost got hurt.” You whisper, hearing a pleased hum from him. 

“That’s my smart girl. Are you ready?” 

“Yes.”

“Yes…?”

“Yes, sir.” You quickly correct yourself before bracing yourself for the first smack. 

One. 

You’re surprised by the softness of the smack. It’s more like a pat against your rear. 

“Still good?” 

“Yes sir.” 

Two. 

You squeak a bit, this one being significantly harsher than the first, before you’re prepared he’s back on you. 

Three, four, five, six. 

You’re making a sound that’s a mix between a moan and a squeal as his bare palms come in contact with your ass in four consecutive sharp spanks. He rubs his hands over the flesh that you’re certain is already welted and swollen. The next spanks come long before you’re ready. 

Seven, eight, nine, ten. 

Tears sting your eyes as he lays into you as if you’re beskar steel that he can bend to his will.

“Look at that.” He remarks with a sense of accomplishment as you let out a soft whimper. You feel his finger gliding along your thighs and up your seam making you shudder before he holds his glistening digits in front of your face. “Are you enjoying yourself, sweet thing?” You nod with a small hum, praying he’ll just touch you already but you aren’t so lucky as you feel a slap against your pussy (Eleven.) that has you whining, loud and high pitched as you clench around nothing. 

Twelve. 

Another slap to your cunt, you can feel your clit twitching as a groan is punched out of you. 

“Gods, are you gonna come like this?” He sounds terribly amused as your body tenses. 

Thirteen. 

He spreads you wide open, giving your clit a little tap that has you lurching forward in his lap. 

“Come on, you can do it.” The condescending tone only makes you want to please him more, you want it so bad as he ghosts a finger across your dripping hole. 

Fourteen, fifteen. 

On the final slap his hand stays pressed against your mound, applying just enough pressure to throw you over that edge. You’ve never come quite like this, nearly wailing as tears now flow freely as your body turns to putty in his lap. He has melted you down and made you something new. 

He lets you work through it for a while, rubbing your back until you come back to your senses. He lifts you from his lap, your legs wobble and shake as he stands you up.

“I gotcha.” He murmured as he picked you up bridal style, carrying you up the stairs before laying you down in bed. “You did so good, such a good girl for me.” He whispered as you closed your eyes, absolutely exhausted. You felt the blankets pulled up over you before you drifted off. 

You swore you felt something press against your forehead. 

When you wake for the first time since you started working for him, breakfast is already made. A plate of bread and meat sits on your desk along with a glass of water. Your ass is raw but other than that you feel more than fine. You aren’t sure what to expect when you go downstairs but it certainly isn’t the silence you're met with. 

It’s as if nothing happened at all. 

He doesn’t even acknowledge you as you frown, attending to your daily tasks. 

He barely even looks at you. 

You go to bed that night frustrated and upset.

So you come up with a plan to get his attention.

You mess up in every way possible. 

You ‘forget’ to make his breakfast. You leave metal scraps on the floor. And you go to bed early, hoping he’ll come upstairs and punish you for your mistakes but he never does. You ignore your duties for a full week before you finally snap at him while he’s locking up. 

“Do I have to throw myself into the forge again to get your attention?” You finally snap at him. 

“Excuse me?” He turns to face you, holding his tongs in hand. 

“I have been a terrible housekeeper for days and you haven’t so much as scolded me!” You throw your hands up in exasperation as he shakes his head. 

“Is that what this is about? My forge is a mess because I haven’t been giving you enough attention?” He tilts his head to the side and you actually feel a bit guilty, when he puts it like that you seem rather petulant. You nod, feeling rather ashamed. He points at the anvil. “Lay down. Now.” You waste no time, rushing over and laying down on your stomach across the large steel surface, his large hands pin you down in place as he takes position behind you, clearly fuming and clearly hard as his hips meet your ass. 

It’s a harrowing juxtaposition, how careful yet rough he is with you as his hand holds you by the back of your neck, pressing you into the cold metal of the anvil. You’re practically giddy with anticipation as you feel a faint heat on your wrists as they’re yanked behind your back. There’s a sizzling sound and you register a metal wrapped around your wrists, arousal and fear course through you as you feel a nearly painful heat that has you trying to look over your shoulder. He pushes back harder on your neck.

“Don’t move.” He grumbles as you go still. When he finally takes a step back you turn to look at what he’s done only to find your wrists shackled behind your back, they aren’t just locked in place. 

He’s welded them together.  

“You want my attention so badly? Then you’re gonna get it.” He yanks down everything below your waist, your tights bunching at your ankles as he pulls your skirt up to your hips. “You’re a terrible housekeeper, maybe I should find another use for you.” He kneels behind you, spreading you wide open with his hands, the cool air from the skylight chills your soaking folds. His fingers poke at you as if he’s examining you. You’re grinning as you wait for him to finally touch you in earnest but instead you feel cold steel pressing into you. You flinch away from the sensation but he holds you in place. 

“Sir- please-” You whine but all that gets you is a slap on the ass as he pushes the object in deeper. You groan, it isn’t all that thick but Maker it’s long, brushing up against spots inside of you you’re certain you’ve never reached before until the base of it bumps against your clit, the heavy weight shifting inside of you as it clicks. 

He put his fucking hammer inside you. 

“Maybe I can use you to hold my tools.” He remarks as he stands. “Would you like that? If I kept you around to hold my things?” He walks over to kneel in front of you now, tapping your face with his fingers. “This is a lesson, you know.” 

“What lesson?” Your voice is more strained than you expected. 

““That if you want something, you need to ask for it.” He whispers through the modulator as you nod.

“Please.” You whimper.

“Please, what?” 

“Please, I want you to touch me.” You sway your hips as best you can like this as he runs his fingers across your cheek.

“Like this?” Bastard.

“I want you to fuck me.” No point beating around the bush. “Sir.” You add on a beat later, hoping to encourage him. 

“That’s all you needed to say.” He stands back up and you groan as he yanks the tool out of you, running his fingers through your wetness as you hear the rustling of fabric and zippers before something thick and soft swipes through your folds. As he sinks himself into you at last one of his hands grips the meat of your hips so hard you’re certain it’ll bruise. The other holds the metal linking your cuffs as he pulls you back onto him, impaling you on his cock at a distressingly slow pace. 

Ask for it. 

“Please sir- I need you- I need you to fill me up.” 

“Such a polite girl.” You can hear his grin as he slams forward. Your hips are flush now as he thrusts his throbbing member into your soaking heat. “Such a- sweet cunt.” He groans as you slump forward, the size of him knocks the wind out of you as he splits you open. His cock stretches you open wider than ever before as he immediately takes on a punishing pace. 

Your body is on fire, your nerves igniting as he pounds into you. The hand on your hip moves lower, circling your clit sending another jolt of fire through your veins as you barrel towards an unavoidable orgasm. 

You cry out as he angles his hips to hit that spot inside of you and all too quickly you tumble over that edge, strangling his cock within you as you spasm wildly. Your eyes flutter shut as you soak him. 

He doesn’t let up for a second. 

“Gonna give you enough attention to keep you content for a few days.” He spits out through grit teeth, already pushing you towards another climax your body isn’t at all ready for. 

“So fucking needy. Maybe I should make some toys for you to play with while I’m working.” He grumbles, you feel his thumb prodding at your other entrance as you gasp. “Could make you something real pretty to put in here.” You nod furiously as he laughs, rocking his hips forward again. It’s a good thing you’re being held up by the anvil because your legs go limp underneath you as you come again. He pinches your clit, nowhere near hard enough to hurt but enough to make you sob as your eyes go wet from the overstimulation of everything that’s happening. “Think you can give me one more?” The dominating condescending tone is gone as he leans down, his helmet knocking against your spine as if he’s kissing you there. 

“I- I don’t know.” You manage to whisper out as he slows his brutal pace, an act of mercy to your puffy, sensitive cunt. 

“Do you wanna try?” His voice is sweet now as he stills inside of you. Keyword there is try. Your skin tingles in a way that is nearly painful as you nod. 

“Yes sir.” You turn your head to the side, resting the hot skin on the cold steel.

“That’s my girl.” He murmurs, starting a new pace, a gentler one as he pushes the blunt head of his cock against your cervix, pulling a drawn out whine from your chest. “That’s it, just a little more, such a good girl, so good for me.” He begins to ramble as his thrusts grow a little erratic and sloppy, his fingers tensing against your hips as he stumbles forward, his entire body flush with yours as he empties himself into you. You can feel the warmth leaking between the two of you as you’re hit with an entirely new sensation that makes you come one last time. Your vision goes entirely white now as tears wash down your face. He steadies you, holding you through it and whispering more praises that don’t entirely register before he carefully pulls out of you. Your eyes remain shut as he carefully takes your wrists, after a moment they’re back at your side as he puts you back together. Pulling up your panties and tights, keeping his cum inside of you in the process as he lays you on your back, eventually sitting you up. “Are you okay?” 

You grin. 

“Yes, sir.” He chuckles, leaning forward just enough to tap his helmet against yours for a moment. You look down at your wrists where the metal bands remain. 

“I made them for you, they aren’t always shackles, they're pretty when they aren’t stuck together.” You bring them up to your face, getting a closer look at the intricate details. There’s a small mythosaur embossed on each one. A symbol, something that binds you to him. 

“I love it.” You smile up at him, looking around the still dirty shop. “I should probably catch up on my work…” You start to stand but he sits you back down. 

“Take the day off, worry about it tomorrow.” He walks past you, you turn to watch him throw more kindling into the forge. 

“What are you gonna do with the rest of your day?” You tilt your head, watching as he takes the hammer that was inside you only moments ago and spins it in his hand. 

“I believe I owe you a couple of toys.” He tosses a handful of steel into the hearth as you sit back a bit and watch him start to work. 

a/n : this was ridiculous but also i did take it very seriously. this genre was what i was unapologetically born to write.

if you liked this and aren't familiar with my work this is a one off from my mandalorian series Best Kept Secret, which you can find here!!

I don't have taglists but follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates on any and all fics!!

[red-doll-face]

Snow Angel

Chapter 1: elation >chapter two >>chapter three

low to medium honor Arthur Morgan x Female Reader

Arthur has been living by himself, laying low (for real this time) somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. After the whole Pinkerton and Micah debacle, he has been hiding away, waiting for it all to blow over, occasionally getting letters from the people who still know that he's alive. He's been alone awhile and at first, he thought he could handle a little loneliness. He has been wrong before. Lucky for him, you look like the perfect thing to break up the monotony.

Warnings: dubious consent, low honor Arthur, smut, naive reader

WC: 2481

Hi, I’m unwell about him and I needed to post this bc I need people to talk to about it and I probably also need help lmao also may be a bit ooc. New to posting here 😳😖😵‍💫

Tags: innocence kink, size kink, vaginal and oral sex, no TB thank god. Arthur is sweet still but has mean tendencies obviously

Arthur’s new visitor has him hot under the collar.

The snow up here is about to overtake Lucky, the loyal Clydesdale you had known since you were a girl. His legs amble forward, winds whipping his mane and tail about. Hunkering over him; gripping his reins for dear life, you try to urge him further. Your throat is tight with nerves and of course the impending reality that Lucky has been slowing down. That the weather has only been getting worse since you started riding out. The last thing isn’t worth mentioning.

As if he could hear you over the blizzard winds, you clutch tight to his reins.

“Please Lucky, you can do it, boy. You can’t leave me here,”

His hooves trudge through the snow, his big legs managing to stay above the snow fall. He falters a bit here and there, more often as you go on. Grunting and shaking at his tack. You pat along his strong neck. The cold turns the moisture in the air to ice, the heat in his breath disappearing.

“I’m sorry, Lucky…” Shuffling onward, leading him on. Frost gathers over your coat and you would think the landscape beautiful if not for the lethality of it all. You’re not sure if people are meant to survive in places like this. With nose numb and fingers creaky in your thick gloves, you know you have to stop. Scanning the horizon for anything resembling a shelter, imagining yourself curled up in Lucky’s side, you can see the soft glow from a cabin a ways down the road. The only vestige of humanity you had seen for miles on what feels like the edge of the world. Windows glow with the tell tale orange of a warm fireplace. Your foot nudges into Lucky’s side for your last push, your last chance.

“Go!” you slap the reins on his neck, working him up to a trot. You approach and see what looks to be some sort of barn. It’s a small stable, a nice place to put a horse or two, maybe a dairy cow. Another horse lazily sleeps, fresh hay for his bedding. At your entrance, he perks up but stares oddly, easing back. Lucky knickers and snorts, just happy to be inside, you think.

“I’ll be back, hopefully not too soon…” You leave him there while he starts mooching the hay laid out for his new roommate. You pat his flank and watch the ice melt from his lashes.

Braced for the cold, arms crossed over your chest, you pull your legs forward through the snow outside. It’s a fight to get through the piles of snow, clouding around your lower thighs. Finally, you're on the wooden steps of the porch, which creak a bit underneath your feet. Panting, you meekly pat on the door.

“Please, I need help,” you shout, trying to speak over the blizzard. “Is anyone there?” You can hear the crackling fire, feeling like it’s warming you already. Heavy steps come to the door.

“Who’s out there?” A gruff masculine voice answers your call. It grates over your nerves, though if you weren’t alone you might have found it to be soothing. With any luck, he’s the father of a nice family whose heart would be softened by a lone young woman near frozen to death on his front door.

“Please, sir. I promise it’s just me,” your pleading seems to have done the trick and the man opens the door. Finally hitting you with a heat you had almost forgotten. He moves to the side after sizing you up. Hesitating even for a second causes him to dip his head to direct you inside. Forcing your stiff legs to lift. He takes a moment to analyze the gap you left behind. Carefully, he shuts the door and pulls the curtain closed. Maybe he had been robbed before? Lonely homesteads were easy and preferable targets for bandits. Typically neighbors were miles away, if you had any neighbors to speak of or to.

You get a better look at him, tall and strong, chest the size of a barrel. The sleeves of his plain white shirt are rolled up and the top two buttons are undone. Leather suspenders keep his deep brown trousers up. He stands as if unsure what to do with his body besides intimidate you with it, showing not an ounce of uncertainty on his face.

There is no one else here and if there is, they’re in the other rooms of his quiet and moderate home. The house smells of coffee, a disarming smell. Salt pork and boiled potatoes too. Certainly provisions that could last through this harsh winter.

“What the hell were you doin’ out there?” His tone is accusatory and judgemental. He must think you an idiot to be traveling in this weather and maybe he wasn’t all wrong. Instead of talking, your jaw clicks your teeth together. The hard look he gives you melts away and he helps you out of your coat. He's almost surprised to see you, eyes stuck on every piece of you revealed to him. Snowflakes and icy debris are shed from you and you sigh. You try your best to get your natural reactions to stop but they insist on ceasing on their own. The man huffs, stepping towards the percolator on the stove. You watch on, feeling strange that he hasn’t really invited you to sit or do much of anything else.

“You mute, girl? Asked you a question.” he takes a seat by the fire in a big chair seemingly made just for him. He sets down the coffee before taking a match and striking it, lighting the end of a cigarette he retrieved from the table. The coffee steams gently and you take it; seeing as you're very sure he had made it for you. Jerkily, you move to sit as he sets his eyes on you. The couch is soft and warm, homely with a pretty blanket, thick and colorful patterns. While his gaze seems easy and relaxed, he watches you like a hawk.

“No, I… was getting something for my granny. She’s not feeling too good. Ma sent me to get something for her. The doctor, I suppose. Didn’t make it too far,”

He exhales. The smallest noise of amusement.

“I can imagine,” You take a sip of the coffee. Warm and sweet smelling. “What kinda mother sends a pretty thing like you on a fool's errand? You really thought you was gonna bring your ol’ granny a doctor in this?” You stare, feeling a bit like a child being scolded by this man.

“Oh well, I-”

“Your granny probably already kicked the bucket while you were out here, damn near gettin’ yourself killed. If it weren’t for me, well…” scratching at the darker scruff that grows on his face. His hair is that same light brown, almost blond. He sucks the smoke out of the slim roll of paper. It's bitter and acrid, a contrast to the warm smoky fireplace. Your brows furrow. Deciding to change the subject before you say something out of turn, you take another sip out of the enameled cup he had given you. The smoke he inhaled releases in a cloud around his features, obscuring the knowing smile he wears.

“I’m sorry mister, but I don't think you gave me your name…” He ashes his cigarette, tossing his legs up on the table in the center of the room. The weight of him and his leather boots don’t rattle the table, he’s careful with himself.

“Arthur. You married?” His gaze is as hot and red as the cherry burning on the end of his cigarette. You almost start to feel uncomfortable. If there weren't a blizzard outside, you might consider walking out. He hadn’t even given you a chance to say your name. Your nervous look only seems to enthrall him more. You only now notice he’s looking at your hands but thick gloves still encase your fingers.

“No, I'm afraid not,” You contemplate telling him a lie but think about when you might have to remove your gloves. You’d rather not get caught in a fib. Though perhaps his rather brusque flirting might have come to an end should you have warned him of a man who would be looking after you. Being out here by yourself seems to have him convinced that no one truly was looking after you anyway.

“Young lady like you, unwed and caring for your Ma, Pa, all by yourself? Now that’s just sad, is what it is,” The butt of his cigarette meets its end in the ashtray on the table. Your face tweaks into a small nervy smile, nodding. “You are… a sight, for an old ugly bastard like me is all,” Your fingers start to twiddle, feeling your face warm, maybe because of the flames licking at the logs on the hearth. He’s certainly not the ugliest man you’ve ever seen nor the oldest, you frown at such an oddly self deprecating comment. You’re surprised he doesn’t already have a wife and several children running around, reading stories by the fireplace that you sit in front of. You revert back to old tactics.

“I left my horse in the stable out front, I hope you don’t mind too much,”

“Ain’t no trouble,” His hands seem to itch to be doing something, he also seems to twiddle his fingers. One hand propped over the arm of his chair.

“Why don’t I get you somethin’ dry to wear? Should be turnin’ in soon. Gettin’ late.” He stands, hands on his knees and then he’s going into the next room. It gives you a chance to evaluate the room you're in. The mantle has all sorts of strange little knick knacks, the walls, plenty of… distinctive hunting trophies and supplies. Several gleaming guns in different finishes are displayed proudly. Although pretty, they don’t seem unused. If anything, well loved and worn. You’re starting to feel every bit the lamb in the wolf’s den this man is already treating you as.

He comes out of the room, holding a pair of cotton long johns in a cream color. You’re not sure why he thinks you need them but he has been nothing but hospitable if not a bit too strong on his pleasantries and very blunt. It can be lonely out here in the country, so you offer a small smile. He stares at you, even as you awkwardly side step him and go to his bedroom. You close the door and sigh, nice to just have a moment to yourself. Away from the strange man and the cold. The warm smell of fabric and the natural musk of the wood calm you, along with the faint smell of something distinctive to him. You claw and peel at the layers of your clothing, riding gear and boots. You notice how wet your clothes are from the melting ice. Perhaps he knew better than you did.

You slip into the warm cotton of what must be his long johns. They’re nice and feel almost new. Far too big for you. That man, Arthur, did seem to be quite big. Here in the quiet room, you can remember the wind, the cut of the cold air against your cheeks, hear the wind rattle the glass. You're glad to be out of all of that.

It’s a rather modest room, a bed, an armoire, a nightstand, a cabinet. Cigarettes and a few cigars, several empty bottles of bourbon. Some old faded photographs but you're not so brave as to pick them up. The room is severely lacking in the touch of a woman department, bed pushed up against the wall. The smallest mirror adorns the wall, dusty and plain. You turn to the door and see him, standing there.

You startle and put your hand to your chest.

“You scared me Mister…” no last name to utter has you confused, he had never given you one. Your smile isn’t forced but it fades a little when you see him looking at you.

“Morgan, Arthur Morgan,” he’s really giving several once overs that feel like thrice overs, drinking you in like those bottles of bourbon. Your face feels hot again. He stares at the junction between your legs, up to your chest and then finally your face. You don’t think you've ever seen a man look at you like that; not that you spend very much time around men. The type of men at the saloons in town were no good for you, or at least that’s what Ma would say.

“Put somethin’ on the stove for ya, man can’t leave no woman hungry…” he puffs up in pride a bit, you tilt your head. Hopefully he hadn’t been watching you snoop around, or even worse, changing. You nod, a small gesture.

“Thank you, Mr. Morgan. I really appreciate your kindness,” he makes space for you to exit down the small hallway. You try not to brush against him but he’s so big, fills up the sparse room between you and the wall. He drops his arm on the door frame, making you pass underneath him. Looking up at him, you can make out the color of his eyes, a pretty summer blue. His shirt and suspenders smell clean and wintry. He makes you feel minuscule, a mouse and cougar. His features; squared and rugged from weathering the elements, are set in a stony expression but there’s excitement in his eyes.

“Been a long time since somebody called me a kind man, usually it was the opposite,” he says. His hands twitch again, the one in the door is a tight fist. You know that you can’t leave. And you wouldn’t beat him should he chase, you doubt you’d even make it to Lucky. Especially now that he insisted you put on his underclothes. The temptation to be in dryer clothes has trapped you here. You flinch as his hand descends to rest on your neck and collar, rubbing. His body moves forward, taking your silence as acceptance.

“Please, I-“

“I think you need a man to take care of you, honey, need a man to keep you inside- wouldn’t let you go out alone like this if you was my woman,” his hand squeezing at your shoulder, you don’t dare to move. Broad chested, he seems to block out all of the light from the meager lamps and the fireplace.

“Lemme show you how a man looks after a girl like you,” He eases off you and guides you down the hall, your heart thumping out of your chest. Certainly not because of the romance but the claustrophobic feeling of being alone with a man such as him, big and very strong in his advances. Thankfully, not too strong. Yet, a voice in your head warns.

If you made it, thanks for reading and pls send feedback 💝😭 I have split the chapter into 2 parts because it was way too long. I will be posting a "chapter 2" but chapter 3 will be chapter 2 for people who read the long version. I was just too excited to post it and didn't think about this LMAO

[yanderes-galore]

Sir Pentious from Hazbin Hotel concept, please? I love snake boi so much and I know you do too lmao

Yeah... and I still do, lol. May not be as into Hazbin as I used to, but I still enjoy the snake.

Yandere! Sir Pentious Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Violence, Murder/Accidental death mentioned, Dubious/Forced relationship.

I'm going to say it now, Pentious is a pathetic yandere.

He'd try so hard to follow through with his yandere schemes, only for something to go wrong.

The only way he'd succeed is most likely by accident.

He's often loud and easy to excite.

He's persistent yet also seems shy when it comes to romance or anything intimate.

We can see this in the show with Cherri.

He'd definitely want to be the center of his obsession's attention.

He'd do anything for you to acknowledge him.

An example is him making inventions to impress you.

He follows you around eagerly but sometimes would be too anxious to talk to you properly.

He wants his obsession to think he's cool and probably gets emotionally attached to them easily.

It's also canon Sir Pentious watches people sleep, apparently.

So... He's definitely going to slither beside your bed when you're asleep and just stare.

I can just see Sir Pentious planning things but... his plans never go the way he wants them to.

Like, I can see Pentious killing another sinner by accident... but failing anything purposeful.

Who knows, maybe that accident actually works in his favor.

Same thing with kidnapping.

He'd set up this elaborate plan to lure you into a trap.

Only for it to fail.

For the most part he's just clingy with you.

He respects you, looks up to you, finds you pretty to look at...

Yet can't approach you for the life of him.

When he does converse with you... He's so awkward.

He really is trying to connect but he gets so flustered.

If Pentious succeeded in making you his, it's probably out of pity or complete accident.

In fact, there's a chance he could win you over without you even seeing his yandere behavior.

He's adorable in a way... even if he's failing being bad.

He's a good inventor and has a weak form of hypnosis, but it's nowhere close to someone like Vox.

The most you're affected by it is being stunned like Angel was.

Pentious' biggest issue is being clingy.

I imagine he's a fan of physical affection from his obsession.

Considering he's a snake... Hugs are quite literally constricting.

So I think even if you were good friends or close, if he didn't want you to leave, he'd probably constrict you then not move.

Again, considering he's a snake, you could probably incorporate his bite into his behavior.

Sir Pentious has the tools to be a dangerous yandere towards his obsession...

But not the mindset.

Pentious could, if he really tried, kidnap you properly.

He could constrict you, maybe bite you, then probably keep you in his ship.

However... He usually stays away from such an idea.

He wants to try "wooing" you properly first.

What a gentleman....

Sir Pentious most likely experiences jealousy, but he's really petty.

He knows he hates not being the center of your attention and he acts a bit childish about it.

It's like a competition to him... Even if you're simply chatting with someone else.

Sir Pentious would quickly want to grab your attention, even if he's usually admiring you from afar.

"H-Hey! Hey, wait! I-I made this cool invention I want to show you! Also, Charlie showed me this new exercise! Can we hang out...?"

He's so shy and awkward when it comes to relationships, it's hard to see his true nature towards you.

He acts cute and his plans mostly don't work...

However, there's most likely always the threat he may succeed at some point if pushed.

Sure, his failed attempts at courtship are cute now...

Until he succeeds.

While I still can't see him as killing someone on purpose due to jealousy (Without getting completely ruined by the other person)...

Kidnapping is plausible.

You trust Sir Pentious, so he could probably lure you away and bite you if he wanted.

Normally he just wants to try flirting or attempts at affection.

You don't suspect a thing until his fangs slip into your neck.

Even then he's mumbling out quick apologies as he scoops you up.

He definitely keeps you in his ship and tries to play things off.

Oh! This was all just a little... surprise he put together, yeah!

Said surprise is a room full of things dedicated to you and a bed in the middle of it for you to sit on.

He really didn't want to kidnap you the more he got to know you...

Yet he was so tired of being ignored.

Sir Pentious only wanted you to look his way.

However... It appears the only way he can have you is through restraints.

He just wishes you could be only his.

While Sir Pentious can also be a yandere you can have a (mostly) normal relationship with...

With a bit of motivation, like an obsession choosing to ignore his feelings or is with someone else, may make him snap enough to become dangerous despite his submissive nature.

He can try manipulating you away and trying to grasp your attention...

Yet sometimes it isn't enough...

Leading to you being locked away for his own eyes only.

Even in captivity, Sir Pentious tries to make your "relationship" seem normal.

He showers you in gifts he made, he smothers you in affection...

The snake really enjoys cuddles.

Sir Pentious loves to slither beside you as you sleep, nuzzling into your neck.

He's a pathetic yandere, one someone may consider charming...

But he's still a cunning snake...

He's still a potential danger to you, and all it takes is one bite to make him switch.

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hazbin Hotel x male reader who transmigrated into it.

Hiya! I’ve never done a request before and i’m sorry I got to you late! I didn’t know where the askbox answers went lmao. I don’t mind doing this but this is my first so hope this tickles your fancy and i did your idea justice, im sorry it’s quite short, i wanted to get it out so i didn’t leave ya hanging! <3

Part 2

Summary: One minute you’re living your normal life, the next you’re in a room, in a place you’d hate to admit looked a little familiar from a show you’d watched in life.

Warnings: Male!Reader Male pronouns, not specified if there was a specific ship between reader- so there’s no romance, implied death, flirty angel, niftys bad boy obsession, reader is discribed as a goat, implied to be tall, all direct hazbin hotel characters; charlie, vaggie, alastor, nifty, pentious, husk, angel (all platonic), swearing NOT PROOFREAD, no mention of hair type/colour, bodytype or skin colour. Let me know if i missed anything!

You just got off working, and after a long crippling day of noise, customers, and well work, all you wanted to do was go home and get in bed.

Looking down at your phone you scrolled through your playlist, trying to find the right song, this walk needed motivation, you needed some umph to get you home and not curl up in a ball and sleep wherever.

While scrolling through your playlist, you failed to notice the manhole up head, uncovered and unassuming. Unfortunately, your walking never ceased.

Waking with your heart pounding, you through your legs off the bed immediately standing, but stalling. “Where the fuck,” You gaped, you spun around in a circle, a large click thump following your direction.

Peering down at the noise you gasped, hooves, big ones in fact. You took a few sharp inhales attempting to calm your heart rate down, you scanned the room. It was ruby red, but besides that blank, vacant with the bare bone essentials.

Behind you was a large window, covered with thick curtain. Carefully you stepped over to it, feeling uncoordinated in your body as you did, you pulled the curtain open.

Mouth falling open, throat closing unable to scream as you stared at the sight in front of you. A red sky, the pentagram overhead, you couldn’t believe no way. Trotting over to the dresser, you eyed your reflection, your horrified face looked back at you.

For the most part, you looked as you did before, albiet the new suit, horns, ears, and the slit eyes you had. Turning to an angle to scoffed at the sight of a tail, muttering to yourself you tucked it upward in the suit jacket and waddled to the door.

Sticking your neck out, you glanced left to right, declaring the cost clear, you stepped out. That was until you heard the disembodied sound of a radio transmitter behind you.

“Good evening voyager!” Shouting you turn defensively, and were met by a large smiling demon. “Holy fuck.” You say in awe staring down just slightly at the radio demon you familiarized yourself with.

“Contrary my dear friend! Nothing holy to me! Ha ha, please follow me, Charlie is ever so worried for you. Crashing down through the roof? Quite the entrance I must say.” The radio demon applauded, literally hearing a round of applause surround you two.

You followed as he pushed but you didn’t say much, this has to be a dream? You recognized him from a show, he’s not real. Although casting your eyes toward him as he strolled, humming along guiding you down the halls, you couldn’t deny the reality you saw.

He looked so 3D, there wasn’t anything animation behind him, he was right there, right in front of you more realistic and creepy than anything you’d ever seen.

“Here we are good sir! The lobby! Shall we?” Alastor questioned sticking his cane down the steps, after a muttered yeah, the two of you strolled down together.

“He’s up!” Charlie chortled shaking Vaggie who stood near her at the bar. “Yes i fetched him just as he tipped his horned head out! Impeccable timing, everyone has just gotten back.” Alastor exclaimed, while Charlie skipped up to you.

“Wow, so glad you’re okay! You came crashing through heh, I’m Charlie! So pleased to meet you,” With a pointy teethed smile you nod at her. “This is my girlfriend Vaggie,” Vaggie only grunted at you, arms crossed and eyeing you. Knowing what you knew, this wasn’t surprising to her this is real, and you could be like Alastor.

“This is Husk, he’s our bar tender, oh shit! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” Charlie stuttered, shaking her hands around her head jazzily. Chuckling you smiled at her. “Uh, thank you, for everything actually.”

“Ha, you kiddin kid, you fell through that ceiling like it was paper.” Husk gruffed out, leaning forward at his bar. “Yeah what’s that about?” Vaggie suddenly questioned.

“Guys! Intros first hello, okay, this is Angel Dust, another guest!” Angel dust sauntered up, smirking and sticking a claw at the bottom of your neck, dragging it up to your chin. “How ya doing sugar, I’m Angel, but i can be whatever you want me to be.” Angel practically moaned at you, smiling genuinely you chuckled. “I want you to be arms length away from me.”

You said it without any malice or disgust, genuinely enthralled you were standing in the middle of the characters you loved so much. “Ha! Nice try toots! The only way to keep me back, is via leash.” Laughing along with Angel ignoring the disgust from Alastor and the disappointment for Vaggie, you focused back on Charlie who rocked impatiently on her heels for your attention.

“Okay! This, wait where’s Nifty?” Pausing briefly as ever one checked their feet not seeing the little ball of speed anywhere. “She’ll turn up! Anyways this, is Pentious!” Charlie exclaimed moving onto the snake who stood stick straight.

It was evident he was nervous, so you walked toward him with an easy going smile, as easy going your sharp smile could be. “Hey Pentious, I think your fucking cool I love the inventions you make.” As if you presented the snake with the world itself, his eyes sparkled with admiration and appreciation. “Y-you’ve sseen my inventionsss?” Nodding at him with a smile, he perked up, clasping his hands near his cheek.

As he was in the middle of chanting thank you’s, the air dropped and suddenly the Tasmanian devil herself showed herself. Crawling up your body like a tree, the cyclops eyes you with a wicked evil smile. “Ouuu, you look like such a bad boy none of the others here are bad!” Nifty breathed demonically, pushing herself i. your face.

Again you couldn’t be mad or even scared instead you chuckled, Alastor appear alongside you. “Alrighty Nifty darling, why don’t you go collect some bugs to show him! He needs some christening into this wonderful world.”

That line momentarily stunned you, and you looked towards Alastor with a probably harsher look than you intended. “Ou okay, that’s a gooood idea.” Nifty said scuttling off, and though your eyes were focused on Alastor, he wasn’t even aware of you, paying more mind to the room around you.

Charlie looked to you, head tilted. “So mysterious man, you need a place to stay?” Smiling at her you looked around the room, this was an opportunity you wouldn’t miss out on. “Yeah, I’ll stay.”

[rrcenic]

in the honor of my marvel obsession creeping back to me + my family being in disneyland and exploring avengers campus, have some ✨avengers incorrect quotes✨ as things my friends and family have said

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

-

peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

-

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

-

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

-

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

-

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

-

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

-

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

-

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

-

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

-

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

-

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

-

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

-

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

-

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

-

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

-

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

-

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

-

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

-

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

peter: duh??? did you just realize that???

[pseudophan]

i don’t want them to commit to a regular schedule but i WOULD love if they did like a couple lives on insta or something just for funsies

also i think a big part of the reason it seems kinda slow is because of the fucking time zones. things are happening while so many of us are sleeping

i want liveshows so. fucking. bad. not so many that they burn out cause i know dan especially kind of hates them lmao but just.. a little bit... some crumbs please sirs.... nothing makes me happier than live dan and phil content i would sell several organs to make this happen

and yeah i agree, the timezones are what's really fucking us over here. dan and phil posting is one thing but if half the phandom isn't awake to give a fuck it just kinda doesn't get talked about as much

[captain-mj]

Can we get ex-barracksbunny Simon from your TikTok to finally give Johnny that one chance to treat him so good?

It would be criminal to not answer this lmao. In my brain, this is og soapghost but y’all can view it how you want

Ghost sighed softly as Soap started up again. 

“Come on, LT. Bet I can treat you better than anyone else.” Soap sounded so confident. Ghost was well aware the only reason he kept pushing is because Ghost hadn’t actually said no. If he did, Soap would stop. 

“Don’t think you can MacTavish.”

“You two aren’t on a private line.” Gaz cut in. “Just thought I’d say that.”

“Fuck off, Gaz. Simon, you could at least check for yerself?”

Ghost could hear Price taking a deep breath to scold Soap on how what he was doing was borderline sexual harassment. 

“Alright. You act good on this mission, I’ll give you a chance.” 

Price started coughing, choking on his words.

Soap very slowly, accent thick as honey, “What sir?”

“Don’t get coy now. We’ll talk later. But only if this mission is handled well with no injuries.”

Soap was a goddamn angel. Every order executed with precision. 

Price looked so mad about it. 

After their debrief, Ghost went to his room, planning on a shower. He noticed his shadow quickly.

“Johnny. You’re taking me to dinner first. Tomorrow.  Unfortunately for you, I’ve gotten slightly higher standards.”

“I get to have dinner with you?” Soap followed him, looking at him like he hung the stars. Ghost rolled his eyes.

“Johnny, I’m already going to sleep with you. Now fuck off.” He hit the back of his head. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“Will you be taking the mask off?”

“You’ll find out.” Ghost closed the door. 

In all honesty, Johnny’s simp behavior had zero to do with Ghost saying yes. It had been four years since he got laid. After getting captured and... everything that came with it, he just hadn’t wanted to.

His therapist had suggested two days ago that he was touch starved. Normally, he’d brush it off as dumb as hell, but he matched all the symptoms. He was pretty sure she hadn’t meant have sex with the nearest person, but casual touch didn’t seem like enough. 

In his past, he slept around a bunch. It had felt nice. Gave him connection. Was a lot easier than trying to fumble through conversation. 

Who knows. Maybe Soap would be good. At the very least, they’d be pressed against each other for a few minutes. Hopefully Soap had some stamina. 

He texted him. “Dress up nice and pick the place.”

“You got it, LT. Just keep looking pretty.”

Bitch.

Ghost did dress up nice though. As nice as he could. Plain black shirt, nicer black trousers, his ski mask. 

Soap had flowers when he opened the door. Carnations. 

Ghost stared at them for a second before taking them and setting them on his desk. “Thank you.” 

Soap smiled at him and walked with him, immediately talking like it was any other day. Ghost was actually pretty thankful for it, even though he didn’t admit. They were pretending they were just hanging out. Like normal. 

Soap had picked a pretty nice place, catching Ghost off guard. “One check, please.” He told them ahead of time. Ghost tilted his head but let it go.

“So why did you want to have dinner first? Not that I’m complaining.” Soap said the second part quickly, hands going up.

“I didn’t want it to feel like a cheap one night stand afterwards.” Ghost glanced at him. “I have to work with you. I’d like to be able to pretend I respect you in the morning.” He was teasing, moving closer. “Do you mind that much?”

“No. I like that I’m getting to spend time with you.” Soap smiled at him. 

Bastard. 

Simon felt stupid butterflies in his stomach. He squashed them. 

When the food came, he lifted his mask up only slightly. Soap openly stared at him. His eyes traced every feature he could see. 

Ghost started eating a bit quicker. He didn’t normally like being observed but something about the way Soap stared at him made him feel particularly weak. 

Soap smiled softly at him and they kept talking. 

It wasn’t until much later that Soap made a comment about the thing. 

“So... You really let them call you Pretty Boy Riley?”

Ghost blushed and unfortunately Soap could see it this time. “Yes. I did for a while... When I first joined the military, it was my first time away from my family. It was... I had never really got a chance to be out and then suddenly I was not only out but surrounded by a bunch of men who were interested. It’s why I slept around so much.”

Soap smiled at him, seeming genuinely interested. “Makes sense. I came out in secondary school. It was a bit different then.”

Ghost hummed. “Hard to imagine you as a teen.”

“I was a football player too. If you can imagine.” Soap laughed, taking another drink. They’d both went nonalcoholic for today. Probably a smart choice. “I bet you were a theater kid.”

“Nope. In a band.” Ghost laughed. “I was the bassist.” 

“No fucking way. Still play?”

“Haven’t tried it in years, but I could always try to pick up again.” It had been fun. “We were awful before you ask. My brother was the singer. He had my dad’s voice.” 

“Wasn’t your dad in a band?”

“As a drummer.” 

Soap laughed immediately and paid. He drove them since he “didn’t trust Ghost behind the wheel” for some reason. Ghost didn’t really like driving so he rolled with it, enjoying getting to sit passenger. 

Soap’s hand fell on his thighs and he stared, a little taken back. Ghost was ushered into Soap’s room. 

He expected there to be an awkward pause. For Soap to realize what he was doing, but then he was lifting Ghost’s masks up to just above his nose and kissing him hard. His hands were on Ghost’s hips, backing him up. 

“Simon. Can I take the mask off?”

His mouth was too dry to form words so he just nodded. Soap pulled it off of him. 

“I see why they called you pretty.”

“I’m sure the scars are pretty ghastly. Try not to look at them myself.” 

“Still a bonnie even with them, Si. Always will be.” Soap pressed his hands against his chest and Ghost fell willingly, hitting the bed. Luckily it was one of the nicer ones. 

Soap’s mouth was on his neck before he could really think, pinning him down. 

“Told you, Lt. Best you’ve ever had.”

“Cocky.” Ghost spat out but it ended up more of a whine thanks to Soap tugging his hair. They undressed each other in record timing and Soap just wouldn’t stop kissing him, holding his face with his hands running all over him. 

Soap pulled away. “Are you okay if I...” His hands slid between Ghost’s thighs, being... gentle.

Ghost stared at him, finding it a little hard to breath. “Yes. Keep going.” 

Soap nodded and reached under his pillows to grab a bottle of lube. It was half empty and Ghost shoved down any feelings that gave him. He watched him coat his fingers before gently pushing his first finger into him.

“Fuck, you’re tight.”

“Been a while.” Ghost hummed, feeling his face flush. “Should’ve prepped beforehand...” 

“Nah, I like this part.” Soap grinned at him and started to kiss along his jaw. “I’ll return the favor later, yeah?”

“Who says we’re doing this again?” 

“I’m sure you can handle a couple of rounds tonight, right?” Soap kissed him and Ghost relaxed, letting him fit another. The stretch was... fuck it was great. Their chests were pressed together and all he could think about was how warm Soap was. 

Ghost groaned at the third one and he felt Soap’s tongue lick its way into his mouth. He grabbed the headboard, panting.

“Okay, enough. Come on, show me a good time, Sergeant.”

“That an order?” Soap teased as he pulled away. He was still being gentle as he moved him around, lining up. He reached up and grabbed Ghost’s hand. “Just squeeze if you need a break, okay?”

Ghost nodded, though he thought it was a bit silly, and held his hand tighter. Soap leaned over him so their lips were almost touching as he pushed in. 

Ghost groaned before whimpering. Soap paused, looking stunned he managed to get that sound out of him.

“I swear to God Johnny, keep moving.” 

Soap immediately started to push in again as he marked up Ghost’s neck and his shoulders. “How did you hide the hickeys?”

“Never let them make them. You’re special.” Ghost grabbed Soap’s hair and tugged him back down when he went to pull away. “Keep making them.” 

Soap bit him hard and thrust into him, Ghost scrambling at his shoulders with his free hand. He adjusted them slightly and slammed into again, making Ghost whine. Ghost was just about to say some sharp retort when Soap found it, hitting his sweet spot hard. 

Ghost saw stars, moaning softly. He squeezed Soap’s hand hard to ground himself and almost beat the man when he paused.

“Please.” 

Soap didn’t need anymore than that. He started to thrust in hard, hitting the spot over and over again. Ghost’s legs went around his hips as he moved, kissing Ghost every chance he got. 

“Johnny.”

“I got you Simon. What do you need?”

“Just keep doing this.” Simon bit Johnny’s lower lip and made eye contact with him. His hips continued to snap right into Ghost’s who was loving the treatment. Soap’s chest was also very nice to stare at and he got to run his hand over it, feeling the hard muscles under soft skin.

Before long, Ghost couldn’t seem to shut up. Moaning and whimpering as Soap hit that spot over and over again. He kept his eyes closed and felt his legs start to shake. A pressure was building his core and he knew he was going to have to take Soap up on the multiple rounds because he didn’t want this to end yet. 

Soap noticed. No clue how, but the fucker knew and he sped up. His hand bruised Ghost’s hips and he purred when Ghost scratched down his back. It was all so much. Too much. The skin to skin contact made him feel half insane already. 

Ghost pulled him down for a kiss and came, squeezing Soap’s hands so hard he thought he’d hurt him. He shuddered and buried his face in Soap’s neck, feeling warmth spread through him as Soap came too.

“Sorry, i should’ve worn a condom or asked or..” Ghost shut him up by kissing him. 

“Not the best but you’re up there. Your technique needs work.” Ghost flopped back. “You’re a quick learner. I’m sure you can figure it out with experience.”

“Experience? So we are doing this again.”

“If you want...”

“Knew you like me LT.” 

[yellowistheraddest]

LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT, i present to you 9 drawing requests with accompanying commentary...

request one:

honestly its not a crime but they are criminally curious to learn the rich history of Dallas in 1963! i mean arent you curious, you should google what happened there on november 22nd!!!

request number 2:

OH BABY you know i love making people feel :( my most popular post is characters crying so i was supposed to have fun with it but 3 people hugging - dude, i was no the verge of insanity and in the end pearl just kinda got swallowed up and disappeared.

[[7 MORE UNDER CUT!!]]

request tres:

coming from the last drawing i was still on the 'lmao get sad' bandwagon, and simon and athena they have lived through somethings so once again i drew people crying :D so heres a drawing of little athena and her goth uncle having a nice little hug and nothing ever went wrong

request četiri:

by now everyone should know that my favourite AU is these two bastards meeting before phoenix became a lawyer; ya know so he doesnt need to break his back trying to learn law as an art student - not that he learns much as he doesnt know what a cross examination is in his first case,,

request pénte:

this request marked the second day of drawing.

now,, i might have not read the request before i drew sooo i kinda just drew them taking a selfies at a steel samurai con so i kindly edited the second drawing to contain a peace sign. [the plush is the hellish creature named the iron infant [from AAI i think] and i bet its like the worst character in the franchise and these two will definitely burn it when they get home]

request numero sześć:

now i swore to never post kissing on here so i spare myself of the cringw when i look back later, so just dont read the first half and enjoy the way i found out you cant really draw flicking without making a comic. like the motion is so small yet so powerful how do you draw that?!?!?!?!?!? this looked miles better in my brain...

request shtatë:

you know what else is like rocks? big frozen chunks of ice, like the one here :D

RIP LMAO

request huit:

ah the t4t to end all t4ts. ron is definitely a guy to fall at first sight and bro desiree is the definition of girlboss

also people forget that larry was rons coworker and i need more content of those two because they are just wildly opposite

[edit: ''sir are good'' HUH??? brother i need to go to sleep and just not draw for the next millenia]

now we have arrived at the end of our trip...

you may be thinking "yellow, you said that there were 9 drawings!"

YES, but no.. theres probably a reason behind this but when i opened my inbox and saw this was like a game character who was stun locked. i mean look at this, aka request number NINE:

love ya to death, babes, but please get some rest because i think you forgot to write in the characters you wanted to see. despite that i decided to draw what you requested:

now just imagine whichever characters you waant in those places! wait was your request an investment so you can have an infinite amount of ships inserted into this pose???

anywho, ummmmm.. yeah Now we have reached the end - but do not fear, im not dying or going away. im still going to be here on my ace attorney bullshit as long as my brain can stand.

sadly i have to say GOODNIGHT, LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. may we meet once again when the planets align and it rains in the greatest depths of the ocean o7

[stillfrownyclownlol]

I will also talk about Tyler because he's also not normal about stuff 🫠

Right from the start you get these signs he's protective to a detrimental level lol

(BTW Aidlyn scene cuz I'm not normal about them ❤️ The way he literally wraps his whole body in front of her sent me lmao. Mans got his leg around her and everything 🤡)

He's pretty much like this with Taylor in all their scenes. In the Sorrel House he puts his arm in front of her when they see the phantom (that he does not think is real, considering his reaction).

He also has a tendency to drag Taylor away from situations with out asking for her opinion on it 🫠 He just kinda assumes she will want to go with him. Like when he drags her out of the house after saying the phantom was just a prank.

Sir. PLEASE. Kinda possessive of you-

I don't think Red did this on purpose because like. She hasnt really brought up their culture/heritage or anything in the story so far lmao (I'm crying). But idk like just this behavior reminds me a lot of the guys in my family 🙃 I think Latino boys get kind of socialized to be more aggressive and protective of their families at their own expense. He definitely seems like the kind of brother to impose a curfew- He has control issues like. We all see it right? He's a control freak.

Obviously his dad dying has a lot to do with this. His mother took it extremely hard, so then Tyler "stepped up" to take care of both his mom AND his sister, he's been parentified since a very young age (he doesn't look older than 10 imo). I think he feels a need to "be the man of the house" so to speak. He genuinely does not seem to have any hard feelings towards his mom even tho she...you know, fucked up. if any of you know the "latino boys are mama boys" cliche, but.

yeah.

(I do think Taylor has more mom issues because she kinda resents how Tyler has been parentified and she's allowed herself to be angry at their mom for leaving them to fend for themselves)

Sidenote: It looks like his family is very isolated. Like, its strange that nobody came to help Marianna after Ethan died. This isn't always the case but usually Latinos have large families (my mom's family had to push together eight beds so all the cousins could sleep in one room lol) WHICH probably means Tyler's branch of the family is, so far, the first and only to have immigrated to the US. He's probably already a second or third generation tho, his mom has only one surname and he and his sister never seem to speak Spanish, so I don't think they learned it (probably some basics). I don't imagine they've ever been to Mexico except MAYBE when they were very young (its kinda rare to visit...since...it's so hard to get out of there in the first place...🫠 I dont think my parents have been to Venezuela in more than 20 years...but also Venezuela is in way worse condition, so...)

But yeah like. His protectiveness of Taylor is something that actively works against her and something she dislikes. She always looks upset when he drags her out of a situation or tells her what to do. She just wants to help :(

BABYYYYY 🥲

Ofc she never says anything because for most of her life Tyler has put himself in a position of authority and is her caretaker. It's hard to speak up to somebody when they constantly say "I'm doing this for your own good, for your own safety, for-" Whatever. Taylor always believes Tyler does everything for her own best interests, so... even when she doesn't feel good about something, she'll still listen to him. It's a veryyyyyy slippery slope that can quickly become toxic, if it isn't already. Because besides being her brother, he's put himself as her parent figure as well.

He does the thing. You know. Where parentified kids try to overcorrect so they kind of coddle their own children and don't let them do anything because they're scared to death something is gonna happen to them 💀

I don't really know what the point of this was I just wanted to talk about how possessive Tyler can be and how unhealthy his attachment style is 😭 If I write Tyler and Logan angst tho just know it's gonna involve Tyler being overprotective and Logan being Not Cool TM about it 🫠

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP21 (The Cloud Minders) oookay I genuinely don’t know what to think of that title

Anyway:

- OMG Kirk actually records his diaries on the bridge that’s so funny

- The chair swivelled so hard when Kirk got out of it that he had to go back to steady it with his hand

- The got roped into this one… (you see cause there’s a rope. It’s funny I promise)

- hi Margaret, I see you’re back (referring to the fact that Margaret Armen wrote this one)

- KICK !

- “I have never before met a Vulcan, sir.” “Nor I a work of art, madam.” I’d melt personally

- I have a feeling the disrupters have very reasonable demands

- WHAT THE FUCK THAT GUY JUST JUMPED

- Kirk sleeping while Spock internally monologues contemplates. Relationship goals.

- OKAY but the back of Droxine’s dress is so fucking cool. Peacock aesthetic.

- OKAY but like this other lady’s dress tho. The deeper blue. (Self note: draw Spock and McCoy in the dresses)

- ICKY ICK NO KIRK NO

- “You only take a mate once every seven years.” Yeah but he’s married to the doctor and captain aboard the ship

- Droxine wants him so bad goddamn

- “Extreme feminine beauty… is always… disturbing… madam.” “Spock!” As soon as Kirk calls him he’s outta there.

- Vanna is in the right here. Droxine is awful.

- This is such a good episode omg

- it’s showing how rich people delude themselves and justify having lower classes by reducing people to functions and workers.

- FLASHING LIVHTS HOLY HELL (careful showing this to your photosensitive friends)

- Is Kirk going to get put in the torture machine this episode? (Edit: no)

- Spock, Droxine is a rich idiot who is very used to justifying her actions with self inflicted ignorance, DO NOT PERSUE HER

- RAHHH WE LOVE VANNA

- hiii McCoy hiiiiiiiii

- no fuck off mccoy fuck off doesn’t matter if they’re slightly intellectually ‘inferior’ they still deserve rights and they’re still obviously intelligent life

- oh okay the gas is causing slight brain damage but still. The disrupters are in the right. And they’re gonna help them, yay!

- The Advisor said “erect” lol

- Kirk, obviously the Advisor knows that in order to stay in power he needs the Troglytes to stay confused, disorganized, and separate from their part of society… he’s doing this ON PURPOSE

- Kirk, go down there and punch the Advisor, please

- “Captain, if you are apprehended deliberately violating the High Advisor’s orders, he will be within his rights to have you executed if he chooses.” “If you’re about to suggest that you contact Vanna, the answer is negative, Spock. That goes for you too, Bones.” Bones so readily goes to suggest himself but is immediately shut down. Kirk knows their bullshit

- “Hours can be centuries, just as words can be lies.” That goes so hard wtf

- So why doesn’t Kirk beam out of there with her and directly to the caves? Well there wasn’t any trouble anyway but whatever

- LMAO the mask is so silly omg omg

- What the fuck. With his bare hands? (Edit: I’m talking about mining rocks. Promise.)

- Why did he cause a cave in? Omg he’s an idiot.

- Kirk is so done with these idiots. He’s just gonna put them in a cave and let the gasses get them

- Kirk’s not doing well… McCoy and Spock are very worried about him

- HE KICKED ONE OF THE MORTAE OUT OF HIS HANDS

- Kirk’s ass I really like Kirk’s fighting style, lots of kicks and a little bit of whacking

- “I don’t like filters or even masks. I like the word ‘protector’ much better.” Did some Trekkie’s call masks this during the pandemic?

- KIRK DO NOT KISS HER

(He doesn’t but the vibes were terrible)

Masterpost

Teleplay by Margaret Armen

Story by David Gerrold & Oliver Crawford

[ilovedazaiosamu]

Why not me?

author’s note: hi☺️ i had a bad and horrible week and why not some dazai angst? also please forgive me if this fanfic isn’t satisfying enough for you.

characters : dazai, reader(you), another woman

genre: angst, hurt/no comfort, you died,|| by suicide, lmao

summary : Osamu Dazai, your husband, gets bored of you and decides to get into a relationship with another person, you find out. What happens next?

I recommend you to listen to Mitski while reading this, especially the song “why didn’t you stop me?” or “washing machine heart”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You were waiting for Dazai to come home from work, he usually came home earlier than you but ever since last week, he started to come home late.

You then decided to make dinner for yourself and him while waiting. The door creeked open, and behind the door was Dazai. “Samu!! where were you? why were you taking so long to get out of work?” you asked him in a curious tone. ‘Dammit, when can she shut the fuck up?’ Dazai thought to himself, wondering when can you stop trying to meddle into his problems, “Oh, something just came up at work. Now can you please get off of me? I want to change.” Dazai responded to you. You wondered why he was suddenly so distant from the past few weeks, then you saw something you didn’t want to see.

‘A fucking hickey? on his fucking neck? is he cheating on me? Am I not good enough for him? Should I ask him about it?’ You thought to yourself. “Is there something wrong, Belladonna?” Dazai asked you, in a worried tone, you shook your head and brushed your thoughts away. “Did you have your dinner yet, ‘Samu?” “Oh yeah, I did, no need to make me dinner, I’m full” ‘Yeah full eating out someone else’s pussy’ you thought to yourself.

“Oh okay. I’ll go to bed now.” You responded to him. Walking to your shared bed, knowing that your husband doesn’t love you anymore, and that your nightmare came true. “Why not me?” You whispered to yourself, closing your eyes to go to sleep and wish for a great dream.

The next morning

You woke up, not feeling Dazai’s presence in your bed. Frowning, you got up to shower and went to the pharmacy, planning to buy medicine because it felt like you had a headache . As you were walking home, you saw Dazai, at a restaurant, sitting with another woman. You decided to let him be because why would you interrupt him from being happy? You saw him smiling at the woman, holding her hand, wishing that it was you instead. You were about a few meters away from your house, and near your house, there was an alleyway. “SOMEONE!! PLEASE HELP ME!” a voice screamed, you wondered who it was, and being worried and curious, you ran to the alleyway to help the person who was screaming for help.

You saw a girl, who looked like she was only 14, holding another girl in her arms, which you assumed that it’s someone probably important for her, both being held hostage. “Hey, are you okay?” You asked running towards them in a worried tone. “You bitch! Get away from the children or I’ll shoot.” the kidnapper shouted, threatening and holding unto the gun. Little did they know, a policeman is running to the commotion because of the little girl’s scream for help. You suddenly jumped in front of the gun, and out of luck, only your shoulder was shot at and not anywhere at your chest. “Run, please, I can handle it, and please, get some help.” You said to the little girl who was shocked. She ran into the policeman who was on his way to see what happened in the scene. “Sir! please! Help the woman there! She got shot!!” She cried at the policeman as he went and saw your body on the floor, unconscious due to loss of too much blood. As for the kidnapper there, he tried to run but he couldn’t. He ended up getting arrested, and for the girl, she went back to her family safely with her sister. Oh… but for you? You ended up in the hospital. Once you woke up, you got questioned if you had anyone close to you to visit you by the nurse. “Oh.. yes, I do, his name is Dazai Osamu, he is my husband. Now where is my phone? I’ll call him.” “Ma’am, I’m sorry but calls are not allowed in the hospital unless the staff is the one calling.” “What about you call him? I’m sure you won’t mind, right?” “Of course. I’ll give him a call that you’re injured and that you’re in the hospital, anything extra you want to say to him?” “No, thank you” you responded to the offer. The nurse went outside to call Dazai by using your phone. She then went back inside after 2-4 minutes and gave your phone back. “Please call for me if you have any complications with moving or if anything hurts. I’ll get the doctors, okay?” the nurse said. “Alright.” You responded.

Soon after Dazai ran to the hospital, leaving his mistress alone for the date.

“Belladonna! Are you okay? the nurse told me you got shot and lost alot of blood!! Oh please, tell me you are!” Dazai barged into your room, the nurse telling him to be quiet politely and left the two of you alone. “Belladonna? is there something wrong? Do you feel unwell?” “Of course I do, Samu, you think seeing your own husband going out with other woman doesn’t make you sick?” Dazai’s eyes widened to your response, wondering how you found out. “Suprised? Oh don’t even think you’re that good at hiding things away from me. I know you better than I know myself. You are just like a part of me, Dazai. We’ve been together for years and you think you can still hide stuff away from me?” “Belladonna- I’m sorry, okay? Please forgive me, I really am. When I heard from the nurse that you got shot, it made me feel an uneasy feeling in my stomach too. I’m so sorry, belladonna, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “Am I not good enough for you, Osamu?” you said with teary eyes, not daring to look right at him. “Belladonna, you are, I am just such a selfish man and I thought I didn’t deserve you because you were beyond the meaning of the word kindness. Please, my love, don’t leave me.” “I won’t leave you, but you deserve someone much more better than me, Osamu. I kind of need some space right now, honey, so please leave me alone.” “As you wish, my beloved.” Dazai said as he left a room, with a sad look on his face. He felt bad for you and decided to prepare some gifts for you once he will go back to visit you tomorrow.

The next day, he went into the hospital and then to your room, but when he was just near the door, he heard a shriek from your room. He went to your room and then saw the nurse shocked, and your body, unconscious, on the floor. He rushed to your body, feeling this nostalgic feeling that he felt with his dearest friend, Oda. “Belladonna! You must be joking! open your eyes!! please… don’t die on me..” he cried, checking your pulse and heartbeat. And he didn’t feel or hear anything. He tried again and again trying to hear your heartbeat, he tried finding the warmth of your body, but it wasn’t there. “What happened to her…?” He asked the nurse, and she said she doesn’t know because she also just went in to check up on you because she heard a sound from your room. “Well??? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! GET SOME FUCKING HELP!” Dazai screamed at the nurse, his voice was cracking. The nurse rushed to get some help and once she did, he had to wait outside for you. And when the doctor told him, “I’m sorry, she couldn’t make it. We tried our best.” “No. no. no. no. no NO!! You have to be joking. My wife is a strong woman. She cannot just die easily! She can’t just leave me!!” was Dazai’s response. He ran into your room and looked at your body. It looked like it was so cold, and it was. There was no signs of warmth in your body. “Belladonna? Sweetheart?? Darling?? My love…? just wake up… please.. don’t leave me..” Dazai said and then held your hand. “I love you so much, [name]. I hope you’re in peace right now, so please forgive for what I have done to you. You deserve better.” He said as he was trying to accept the fact that you’re dead. That you killed yourself because of him. That you died because of him. That you got your heartbroken by him. He doesn’t ever want to let you go, but he has to because you have to go. You were the light of his world, and now, his world darkened once again.

• • That was so cheesy wtf || any req?? i only do bsd, genshin, jjk

[honeymochibubbletea]

quick skesh b4 bed :3

You sir or ma’am or whatever pleases you (i don’t know your pronouns), have gained my seal of approval! Aaaaand, because of that, i shall reward you with some headcanons~♪ ;D

Charlie is a VERY DAMN LOUD snorer whenever she’s at Phantasmo mansion. (She does that on purpose to annoy him hggfggfgfghfgg) however he actually doesn’t mind her snoring (too much at least) and when he does, he simply sleeps with some earmuffs. (Also, he does know that she does that on purpose, but he just pretends to be annoyed just to amuse her 🤭)

Usually Phantasmo doesn’t like to sleep because of his nightmares and bad sleeping habits. Charlie and T-oby have already tried to make the mad scientist sleep properly but he still insists that “sleep is for the weak” or “5 more minutes and then i’ll be already on bed” (spoiler: no, no he’s not going to bed in 5 minutes. It usually takes more 5 HOURS for him to sleep) or:

Charlie: Phantasmo! Get on bed NOW. You stubborn ghost!

Phantasmo: it isn’t morning yet, so i’ll just work on a few more-

Charlie: it IS morning! You’ve spent the whole DAMN night working on this! And I haven’t slept because of you!

Phantasmo: . . .

Charlie: . . .Phantasmo… don’t you DARE-

Phantasmo: IF I HAVEN’T SLEPT, IT ISN’T MORNING YET! and also, you are to blame for not sleeping: I didn’t force you to stay awake all night, now did i?

Charlie: Ohoho, that’s it mister! If you won’t come, I’LL DRAG YOU TO YOUR ROOM!

Phantasmo: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO- W-WAIT…! Ow ow ow! It hurts! You’re hurting me you crazy woman!

Funnies aside, when Phantasmo wakes up from a really bad dream (and when Charlie’s at his place or he’s at her place), She’s there to comfort him and caress his face, wiping off his tears 🥹

Phantasmo loves to bury his face on Charlie’s neck (but won’t admit it though, lmao), he finds comfort in her warmth 🥰😊

Who’s the big spoon and the little spoon? Easy, *INHALES DEEPLY*, CHARLIE AND PHANTASM- (kidding, not really though… let me explain: sometimes Charlie’s the “big” spoon (whenever Phantasmo is feeling down, he allows Charlie to be the “big” spoon. He likes being held. He’ll never admit though, lol) and sometimes she’s the little spoon (Phantasmo is touch-starved asf and if you think i am wrong, FIGHT ME-) and vice versa)

……Okay so, HEAR ME OUT: the reason why Phantasmo doesn’t go to Charlie’s place that often to sleep with her was because one: Charlie’s parents (if she has any) hate him, two: because privacy is not an option here and three… *inhales deeply again and hope that Jencil and Fluff don’t come for my head* CARTER GAVE HIM A FUCKING CONDOM WHEN HE NOTICED THAT THESE TWO WERE SLEEPING TOGETHER, SERIOUSLY, HE IS DAMN SERIOUS ABOUT PROTECTION. ESPECIALLY IF HIS SISTER IS SLEEPING WITH A GHOST

I imagine that Phantasmo has a very low body temperature, so every time these two cuddle, Charlie starts shaking, feeling cold. Very cold…

Charlie: Phanta? Could you please stop being this cold…? I’m freezing over here man!

Phantasmo: *mumbles and grumbles*

And the solution they have found for this little problem was making a burrito out of Charlie with some blankets, lmao (so that way, Phantasmo could still cuddle with Charlie and she wouldn’t get a cold from being in too much physical contact with him! :D)

[genericpuff]

Rereading some episodes of LR and I gotta say I love the brief glimpse we get of Charon! I can't tell if he's just ride-or-die or if can't gaf bcs hey, Hades probably 100% knows of the lady sleeping in his backseat (not even questioning why Hades would leave anyone just sleeping in his car while he goes home on his own) like, sir, please exercise some scrutiny 😅

And I know "Dark Zeus" is just an epithet but how does LR Hades feel about (essntially) being known as "Zeus" even if it's just a dark counterpart. AS a younger sibling, I know I'd be annoying about it whenever opportunity strikes

Aahhh I'm glad you like Charon, he was only ever briefly mentioned in LO and I wanted to give him an actual design. We're actually gonna be getting more into Charon and his backstory in the next couple episodes!!! 🤗💖

As for the Dark Zeus name, for Hades I feel like it's one of those "outshone by a sibling" type things LOL Especially with Zeus literally being the King of the Gods and Hades getting sent down to the Underworld. Though it's not even in a way that's necessarily detrimental to Hades as he has dominion over an entire realm (and it's a job he takes very seriously and takes a lot of pride in) but it does make for some interesting misnomers when he goes above ground 🤣 (he's got some complex feelings to unpack when it comes to being compared to his brother).

There's also just the superstitions that come with saying Hades' name outright, no one wants to be caught speaking names attributed with death in fear of summoning it ;0 So oftentimes mortals will just call him "Dark Zeus" as a sort of loophole to avoid lmao

[hotnsweetnprimrose]

Who am I? Well,

I'm part boy part girl, boygirl, the protector and mayor of transgenders! Well. Not that last one, that's not an official position nor would I claim it in a non-joking manner. I'm just a silly t4t slut :P

If you see this blog in sfw areas or engaging with sfw blogs, I’m just there to shitpost and I cannot be bothered to do a main blog switch thing lmao. But if it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay too! I will also probably reblog sfw memes and such too. A laugh is a powerful thing.

Last Updated: Nov 14 2024

My name is Prim or Clark (switch 'em up when it's been a while). I'm 22, I am trans, non-binary, and bigender (androgyne flavor), and I'm here to fuck and get fucked, at least in what ways are possible over the internet. I'm interested in all genders, but have far more fondness in my heart for my fellow trans folk. :P

I'm a HUGE switch and vers! I am 5'1" and a tad fragile. This makes me better at domming too as well as subbing, I promise.

I prefer they/them pronouns from people who aren't close to me, but once you get to know me, we'll figure it out further :P. I might use it/its for myself while in subspace being a toy, don’t change any of your language in response unless I ask, please!

I strongly believe in trans joy and t4t joy. Transmasc transfem transneutral trans [fill in the blank] we are all so hot and cool. <3 It brings me joy to lend aid whenever and wherever I can. This blog is focused on trans 4 trans first and foremost. Cis people are an afterthought, almost always.

Send me asks if you want! DMs even! I love meeting people! Don't be shy! Unless you're cis, then I have high standards so yes do be shy. And if you’re cis and heterosexual? …. Sorry, if you’re attracted to me, you absolutely cannot be both of those things! I have a discord available after I get dm'd because tumblr dms my behated.

Please don't interact if you're a minor or don't have your age in your bio. I will block you. Immediately. Be patient and you'll have a chance to explore when it doesn't endanger yourself or others.

I also just block liberally if you aren't firmly on the side of t4t solidarity and mutual support. We're all having a hard time out here. (I also will not hesitate break mutuals if you post content that damages my mental health that I can't filter for. This is my safe haven.)

Top Surgery (No Nips!!!! Wahoo!!): 10/16/2024 [if you're seeing this in less than 3 weeks after that date, know my sleep is probably still in disarray and my ability to reply/exist is impaired.]

Anatomical Terms:

clit, tdick, tcock, cunt, pussy = GOOD!

boygirl + any term that's deemed good already= GREAT!!

hole = fine. a bit boring

vagina = BAD! too technical

If I'm dominant in your scenario, call me mastress, mixtress, or captain. Sir is on the table for those who earn it. If I'm submissive in your scenario, call me toy, pet, diminuitive names, or kitten (but only if you make jokes about it :P).

I tag my original things "Prim/Clark~" + [type of post] (space in the middle). My reblogs are tagged by kink/focus when I remember and rambling/my thoughts no matter what. [for specific tags I use for post types/original content, check under the cut for the list] I tag reblogs "primclark rbs" so I can sort them.

More stuff under the readmore including limits, kinks, and other tidbits.

Due to me being bigender (androgyne edition), I try not to reblog posts with "men dni" or "women dni" on them as I feel like that's denying part of my identity. Also out of principle so maybe people will be less broad with those kinds of statements OR remember multigender folks like myself exist. Please don't binarize me, that sucks.

I call the rp/kink fiction/pretend element "kayfabe" because wrestling is y'know. somewhat analogous to kink in some ways!

Setting up my queue to post all the reblogs I drafted then forgot about!!!! Please be patient!!

Not Planning on Going On T Please Don't Act Like I Am [I use tcock and tdick with the t meaning trans or t4t, not testosterone <3]

List time!!!!

g = giving, r = receiving

BIG YESES!!

body worship [g+r]

praise [g+r]

tentacles & monsters [...g+r] (used to be this blog's main theme, but I'm revamping! might still post/rb it though)

bondage & restraint & shibari [g+r]

hypnosis [g+r]

bimbofication & dumbification genre [g+r]

creampies [r+g but that requires a strap and/or imagination]

overstim [g+r]

edging [g+r]

Objectification in the sense of being a toy, a tool, something with a function that does a job [r, unsure about g]

petplay [g+r I am a kitten thank you not a puppy sadly]

gentle gender affirming genderplay/forcemasc/forcefem!!!!!! [g+r]

size kink [I'm so damn short I gotta sexualize it]

DEFINITELY MORE I DON'T REMEMBER OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

CONTEXT DEPENDENT (not always a big yes but the version eithout context is a no)

anal [giving ONLY, and only with gloves or a strap]

intox [giving/domming ONLY]

Consensual non-consent but ONLY if it's clearly established as such with the post/fiction (I know I'm rare in that I find the prep and negotiation hot but hey, I love communication and trust!)

Painplay [giving/domming ONLY]

Breathplay [giving/domming ONLY] (picky about this one because safety but also I got asthma so I need to breathe normally)

NOS!!!!

Any kind of pregnancy or pregnancy focused kink

Any sort of inflation (cumflation is case by case)

Breeding with the INTENT of pregnancy (see creampies above, I do love the raw sex and being cum in but pregnancy still makes me dysphoric)

Nipple/breast focused content and/or kink (don't have those anymore and they gave me dysphoria) [except if you want to do like. breast theft. then we can talk about it but I'm super picky it's basically a no] {okay I’m cool doing it for others tits but not Mine}

Detrans kink and misgendering kink (I respect you but not my thing and usually makes me dysphoric. More power to ya though!)

Kinks involving urine, scat [shit], or filth [literal] in any large capacity

Consensual Non-Consent when it's in-universe just non-con

I respect y’all but no f4uxc3st and please tag it!!!! I have it blocked because my brain goes “you want ocd symptoms abt this? Okay!” I don’t even have full ocd just traits n trauma 😔

Nudes. Not without my express and enthusiastic agreement (rare)

[all of this is subject to changes and updates when I remember things not listed here or I learn more about my tastes!]

Original Writing/Pictures Tags:

#Prim/Clark~ Says = non-horny posts/writing/updates (that's what this is tagged as)

#Prim/Clark~ Whimpers = horny writing (submissive focus)

#Prim/Clark~ Smirks = horny writing (dominant focus)

#Prim/Clark~ Moans = horny writing (generally)

#Prim/Clark~ Reveals = if I ever do post suggestive pics (probably no actual pussy in it, tasteful museum style) this is the tag for that. we'll see how I feel.

There are two sideblogs off this blog but they’re both secret. Thank you <3

[threestripeslider]

TMNT03: Dark Turtles Headcanon Time

no you do not get a choice, now listen to me. a lot of it is probably inspired by @amevello-blue Dark Turtle fics on AO3, especially the names bc i for one would’ve never come up with that lmao so credits to them and also Read their Fics no i am not Asking.

anyway. im mad we didnt get a 2nd season of Fast Forward that potentially included a Dark Turtles Redemption and all i can think about is them getting taken in by Cody when the turtles travel back to their time and if you know me, im all about the Found Family Shenanigans. so after some grumbling and growling and hissing the boys settle in and finally get to be more than just weapons of destruction.

DaVinci [Dark!Leo]

nicknamed Vin or Vinny

"i don’t give a shit.” actually gives a LOT of shits

grows to be overprotective but in a really unconventional and grumpy way, ESPECIALLY about Cody and Simoni – when he doesn’t like where they’re at, he will literally scruff them and lift them up to another place, usually behind him

Bad Communication

So bad, oh my god, sir, please just TALK–

while he generally keeps to himself, most of his arguments are caused by him being very uncommunicative or just having no idea how to express what exactly is bothering him

that puts him often at odds with Bardi who will question him the most. one time they nearly duked it out in the middle of the kitchen bc Bardi was handling a sharp knife with his tail and Vin got lowkey worried that he’ll hurt himself or others if he’s not careful but instead of relaying that, he said something along the lines of “you’re shit at handling a blade” and it went downhill from there

he grows a substantial bonsai collection, but the one he got from Splinter is obviously the most well taken care of (he secretly named them all)

only Cody knows bc he was passing by and heard Vin talking to someone named Eliza and when Cody took a peek it was obvious that Vin meant the bonsai he was grooming at that time

PLEASE do not mess with his plants – not only will he severely maim you, he’ll also be very upsetti >:’(

Simoni once gifted him a turtle-shaped watering can as a joke but Vin uses it religiously

the lense over his left eye is actually removable but will leave him half-blind since his left eye is pretty much an empty socket with a prosthetic replacement in it – once he’s more comfortable, he begins removing the lense when he goes to sleep so he can actually close both of his lids

works out a lot, mostly bc the routine calms him (and he likes being the one who can hold back his brothers with just one hand)

once, Cody took them to the less populated countryside to show them the world beyond the city and went stargazing at night, ever since then Vin would sometimes sneak into the simulation room just to relive that moment over and over again bc it’s been the calmest he’s ever felt

Sanzio [Dark!Raph]

nicknamed Sunny

this guy LOVES to lie in the sun – ever since they existed, they’ve mostly been confined underground so the first time he actually got the opportunity to lie down on the roof of Cody’s home and feel the sun, he’d been hooked

Professional Napper™

yknow how cats loaf a lot? yeah he does that – in general, his and Simoni’s legs are the most flexible

you’d think he’s a heavy sleeper, but he’s scared Cody shitless countless of times when the kid tried to spend time with him as quietly as possible only to pass a glance and see those glum yellow eyes already staring back at him

while he can’t retract into his shell, he’s the only one who can achieve the closest thing to it by tucking himself as tightly as possible beneath his carapace

has the worst time during shedding season since his shell is the widest, so Cody and Starlee usually help him peel off his scutes – while he doesn’t feel it, he does not like the sound of it and wears noise-cancelling headphones

despite his initial aggression, Sunny is actually the calmest of his brothers, mostly bc he doesn’t have a lot to say since everyone else seems to run on higher energy than he does, so he can appear a little slow

if you annoy him, he will literally move away from you wordlessly

like, fuck getting into a verbal altercation, if someone just up and moved away from me mid-conversation and then settle down somewhere way off, that would emotionally damage me more than anything else

a fruit fiend, Serling has begun to buy the triple amount of fruits than he usually gets just bc Sunny keeps eating them – he doesnt even peel them

his favorites are cantaloupes and he eats them like apples

dont tell anyone, but Starlee is secretly his favorite bc she treats him like a huge cat

probably the laziest of all of them, yet physically he remains the strongest

likes watching movies – he doesnt particularly favor any genre, but he does noticeably watch a lot of documentaries. Cody thinks the narration soothes him

Bardi [Dark!Donnie]

nicknamed simply B

ngl he’s a bit of a Bitch

high-strung and high-maintenance, it drives Vin and Simoni up the fucking walls

he’s the moodiest, most standoffish of all his brothers and prone to constant sarcasm – however despite complaining about it, he never stops explaining the things he’s doing when asked

bit of an Instigator, it’s better to keep him busy so he won’t get bored and get ideas on how to entertain himself – naturally, he’s a fan of soap operas, the more dramatic the better

Bardi: this is a fun show Vin: the main character’s mother just died on screen Bardi: exactly, it’s hilarious

he was the hardest nut to crack, but Starlee eventually got to him by purposefully coding a system incorrectly while he was in the lab with her and he got so fed up he took over some of the work – it’s only later that he realized he got tricked into helping

oddly enough, that warmed him up to Starlee

he appears a lot more agreeable within a lab setting, but outside of it he will freely mock Cody for not knowing how to fry an egg (he doesn’t know either, he’s a hypocrite)

clearly uncomfortable with anything that involves emotions bc he sees them as a weakness and liability since Darius used to punish them for being anything but battle-hungry monsters – it takes him quite a while to come to terms that he is allowed to feel and let others feel in turn

he’s still super bad at comforting crying people tho, he’s not good with tears and usually just kind of. taps ppl with his tail like “there, there” while looking incredibly uncomfortable

despite his waspish know-it-all attitude he does warm up to everyone in the house and becomes a little possessive – these people belong in HIS bale and his tail has gained this reflex where it would start to wrap around the person he feels is being threatened to be taken from him

he used to squint a lot, like this angry, suspicious squint until Cody figured out he needed glasses

Cody: dont you get tired from all the squinting? Bardi: thats how i look Cody: do you. i think you need glasses Bardi: i need what now

Bardi is still kind of miffed that this didnt occur to him first

he files his claws regularly to keep them sharp “just in case” but wears special tips so he wont accidentally nick anyone, not since he did so with Simoni who immediately went to snitch to Vin

Simoni [Dark!Mikey]

gets called Moni, Mon or Monmon a lot

silly guy!! little guy!! dont let him bite you

the easiest to get along with – while he is a total wildcard and mischievous, he’s super curious about the world that was withheld from them and just. dives right in

absolutely does not understand video games at first despite having vague memories of them thanks to Mikey’s genes, but one all-nighter spent with Cody trying out the newest game on the market, he’s all for it

loves mangas more thann comic books – Cody just KNOWS Mikey would scream “BLASPHEMY!”

actually really loves reading bc he can learn so much and begins to have this huge assortment of random trivia in his head that he’ll just randomly blab out when it becomes relevant – or even when it’s not

the armor on his right leg isnt actual armor but a legit prosthetic after Cody scanned them for initial health checks

he can actually roll his tongue up into his mouth but bc of its current size, he cant keep it inside – him and Cody are still looking into corrective surgeries since there is the danger of his tongue being in the way of his breathing

while he likes a good brawl with his brothers, he hightails it out when Vin and Bardi start fighting since that energy always feels like wanting to cause genuine hurt. so he usually hides away for a few hours until he thinks the coast is clear or Cody/Starlee/Sanzio manage to coax him out

the Champion of Hide n’ Seek – he hides in the most unlikely places and nobody has any idea how he even manages to fit into some of these spots

he’s the most flexible, making him very nimble and acrobatic – he absolutely loves to climb stuff and especially likes to hang from the ceiling to scare the others

do Not touch his food. it’s not even a fun thing – he’s very protective of his food since Darius saw him as the runt of the litter for being smaller and naive and thus used to feed him the least, if at all

he will freely share his food however, but it has to come from his own will

Starlee once brought a pack of little fruit jelly cups and he’s been obsessed with them ever since

while he’s way more expressive than his brothers, he still gets incredibly nervous when involved in an emotional conversation – it takes him a while to realize nobody will punish him for feeling down and expressing it

the kind of guy who will randomly throw out theoretical or philosophical questions that make you have an existential crisis for a good few hours

Simoni: is fish wet when underwater Bardi: what the fuck, obviously, you moron Simoni: yeah but it lives there, water isnt wet to them Bardi: that’s– what? Sanzio: ...im going to bed.