#since im not all too familiar with it through personal experience

[the-corvus-bandit]

i still don't understand the concept of a charcutrie board tbh like why? What would you consider middle class like how would you personally define a middle class person?

It's basically just a specific display for presenting meats and cheeses (and technically crackers, nuts, and chopped fruits are displayed on a board), similar to holiday/party platters (a holiday/party platter being a broad term for a serving dish for food and charcuterie board falls into that category but is specifically for showcasing meats/cheeses). From what I understand (or associate it with from movies) it's used mainly during gatherings or wine tastings. So idk, I can see why it's used but I also personally view it to be a little over the top. Why not just use a regular platter, why does it need to be a slab? Definitely seems to focus more on visual appeal rather than the food itself. Or maybe there's more to it that I haven't figured out yet.

Then, it's kinda difficult to define middle class, especially since I generalized it as the whole class and didn't specifically say lower-middle or upper-middle class. But, I think I typically look towards the work or lifestyle qualities- being able to afford vacations that aren't just visiting family, being able to afford or largely contribute to a college education, having more work autonomy than a person in the working class might have, or someone who is in lower-management positions- just generally having a very good/decent standard of living. But, while this is what I mainly imagine someone in the middle class to be like, there's not really a definitive way to label someone middle class, sometimes income can't even always properly determine what class someone is in.

tl;dr charcuterie boards seems to focus more on visual appeal rather than the food itself and are just a food platter (for meats and cheeses) that is specially a wooden or metal slab. Then, I don't have a definitive definition for middle class, but I generally associate it with have a good standard of living (having a good amount of disposable income and living comfortably) and not having to worry about having access to (or implement) various prophylaxis into daily life.

Hope I properly answered your questions and thanks for asking them!

[str4ngr]

innocuous [ könig ]

saying im obsessed with this man is an undersatement.

cw: suggestive [ some are a little up front... ], foul language, age difference? [ i mean he is a colonel... ], might be toxic [ idk tho too many hearts in my eyes ], also kinda fem! reader but can be read as gn! reader

Older bf! König, whos not a man you can read, far too experienced with life to let you get in his thoughts, but that doesn’t mean that he could keep himself out of yours. 

OlderBf! König, who basically entranced you with his intelligence, guiding you like a gentle wing, keeping you close and safe from unfamiliarity, because he was familiar with all of it.

OlderBf! König, would let you make mistakes so he could help you learn, hold your hand and reward you for every little thing you accomplished, even as small as finding the breaker, talking you through it, even for something as big as every time he makes you squirt.

OlderBf! König, even in things you might have experience in, he’ll baby you. he’ll baby you when you first kiss him, gently pressing his scarred lips against your plush, glossy ones, carefully holding your chin, guiding you even if you knew what you were doing. but god did it make you nervous when he did that, nervous enough to make the hand on your chin more than helpful. 

OlderBf! König, who is a total tease, but refuses to admit it. He knows how to get your pretty little head all riled up, and with his deep voice, his vocabulary more extensive than yours, even as his foreign language, in english, he speaks like a poet. even when he talks about the ways he would fuck you in his office. 

OlderBf! König, who wears sexy rectangle glasses every night as he closes his day with a chapter from a mystery book. he knows you look- stare at him, the way the glasses sit at the tip of his large, hooked nose, slightly crooked from a long-since healed break. a nose you have very lewdly felt between your legs.  

OlderBf! König, lets you babble to him about your day, responding in short hums as you chatter, taking no particular interest in your words because he’s too focused on your plump, glossy lips. doesn’t matter if your yelling, screaming, whining, crying, just plain talking, he loves the blush of your lips.

OlderBf! König, who doesn’t get jealous because he knows you’re all his. who enjoys the way you pout when you purposefully try to make him jealous, giggling and laughing with McTavish. but why can’t he just share his good little girl? knowing you’d probably like that too.

OlderBf! König, who can make you melt with just his eyes. not just his adorable puppy eyes that any man would bend for, but the way he looks down at[on] you, his towering height forcing you to deflate under his orders, piercing gaze making words out of stares. he isn’t a colonel for no reason, its hard to do anything but listen, especially when he whispers in your ear how to move your hips. 

OlderBf! König, who loves to mock the way you moaned the morning after. chuckling as he caresses your faces, using poetry to describe the way tears so beautifully filled your eyes, just as he filled you. 

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

i am a whole different person when hes mentioned

idk if i should do hcs again i’m more of a rambler yk?

directory 

[feyascorner]

So might have noticed i have read all your fics and I absolutely love them all!

If your open to taking this request for a fic, i would love like 4 times astarion was jealous and 1 time you were! (I dont know if your familiar with the prompt). Tav sleeping with someone before they get together (act 1) he’s catching feelings! After relationship is established: Act 2 Halsin showing his interest (whether its reciprocated is up to you!). Act3 Shar’s caress, the owner talking about Tav’s interest and drow twins!

Finally, Tav being jealous! Astarion fully enjoying it!

Or just anything with jealous astarion i would LIVE for! Love your work either way 😆

a/n. THEYRE SO CUTE IM IN TEARS I LOVE JEALOUS ASTARION/TAV

also this is not proofread unfortunately, and I'm not 100% if i did this right but we rock and roll!!!1

As much as Astarion boasts (and resents) his familiarity with seduction, you're an anomaly he's yet to understand despite his centuries of experience.

Never once in his courtship, even when he'd been alive, had he felt so tested that he was jealous, over someone. Not really, anyway. Sure there were bits of bitter feelings here and there, but most were trivial and about something involved in the relationship, not the person themselves.

He's counted four times since the two of you met, where he had to resort to his better judgment to avoid resorting to pettiness. The first one, was out of necessity--so much so that he didn't even realize what it was at first.

He had watched you snuggle up to Shadowheart of all people, just when he thought he'd finally manipulated enough to have you wrapped around his finger. Instead, he had to hear you laugh as you let the cleric lead you to a nearby lake, making him question if somehow, he'd gotten rusty. Especially when the rival in question was clearly too busy having a religious crisis to properly court you. Sure, you technically didn't belong to him, nor did he belong to you at the time, but he went to sleep feeling oddly irritated. He made sure to flirt with you even more, apparently, the next morning.

The second time, he had accepted the strange feeling in his chest whenever he saw you. And Gods he should have done it earlier. He made sure to show plenty of public affection, kissing your cheek or hand randomly as you and your companions explored the shadow-cursed lands. He got a mouthful from Lae'zel a few times, but he couldn't care less. And just when he believed he'd eliminated any potential rivals, the damned druid suggested that you had feelings for him. Here, he felt that same churning feeling he had weeks ago at camp, and found it was one that he didn't long for. He wouldn't have blamed you if you'd considered it--especially since the two of you stopped being physically intimate after his confession. But he could deny how much he hated this feeling. Pretending he hadn't heard, waited for you to approach him that night. When you reassured him you'd said no, he could breathe again.

The last time was weeks later, at Sharess' Caress, where the two of you were approached by the drow twins. And when he'd confessed he wasn't ready to become intimate again, as much as it scared him, you only smiled at him and nodded. That cursed warmth he felt from such a simple act of kindness would follow him to the end of his days. But he hadn't had enough time to revel in it, because the drow twins assured you only you would be enough, even if he wasn't a part of it. The moment you refused, he was already dragging you out of the room, cursing the twins under his breath.

But for the first time, he thinks you're the one experiencing that dreadful feeling of insecurity.

"Your measurements are perfect for this new selection that just came in! Here, let me just check if the rest would fit."

He'd thought little of the harmless touches of the tailor, but as he notices your expression through the reflection of one of the mirrors, he thinks differently. Your lips are pursed, eyes following the tailor's movements like a hawk as you tighten the arms crossed over your chest. Astarion himself is no stranger to touch, especially to innocent ones like this, but if your body language means anything, the sentiments are not mutual.

The tailor reaches up to measure his arm span, inevitably bring their face a little to close to his neck. He just tilts away, nodding mindlessly at what the tailor is saying, but his attention is fully on you. You're fidgeting, and your anxiousness is impossibly obvious to him, but the more mischievous part of him stops him from doing anything about it. Instead, he revels in it.

"Did you get my inside leg?" he asks the tailor, grinning widely. "I think you might have to redo it. I was leaning a bit."

The tailor agrees though all he sees is a nod of a head and a voice in his ear going right through the other. He observes as your face falls, and just as the tailor crouches down and leans close, you're immediately across the room at record-speed, hand latching over the tailor's wrist.

Astarion barely manages to hold in his laugh. His smile, however, is another story.

"I'll do it," you mumble to the tailor. They look to you and back up to Astarion before seemingly realizing what's going on, nodding.

"Very well."

He never thought you could look even more alluring than he already finds you, but the way your jaw clenches and your brows furrow makes him think otherwise. You lean down and take the measurements as needed, stomping on his foot in the process.

He snorts.

Once the tailor leaves for the stock room, he finds you sighing. "You did that on purpose."

It's not a question. He laughs, and while he could just apologize, he takes your hand in his, tilting your head with the other so you'd look at him. He might even consider the glare you give him as cute.

"Jealous, are you?"

"What do you think?"

"I was starting to think you weren't capable of jealousy."

"Why not?" you say, feeling his thumb rubs the top of your hand. "I've been plenty jealous before."

At this, he raises a brow. "I'd surely remember that."

"When we first met," you recall. "You flirted with practically everyone in camp. Saying you wanted to drink from Wyll, or something like that."

"You must know that I was--"

"I know what it was," you roll your eyes. "Not at the time though, and I thought you'd lost interest in me."

His jaw falls agape. "You're jesting."

"Why do you think I started flirting with other people? I figured you didn't like me as much as I liked you, so I moved on. Tried, at least."

"Is that what your visits to Shadowheart were?"

You scrunch your nose. "Oh Gods, I forgot about that. I'd rather not remember sleeping with one of my closest friends, thanks."

He can't help the grin stretching on his lips, and you notice, feeling yourself smile with him. "You're enjoying this far too much, Astarion."

"Please, tell me the next time you're jealous, so I'll know to keep an eye on you."

"Don't ask such ridiculous things," you retort, feigning annoyance before lifting his palm to your cheek and pressing a kiss to it. He swears his undead heart might've felt it. And just like that, the tailor returns, and you drop your intertwined hands, and he sees you shoot him a warning glare.

Acknowledging he's had enough fun teasing you today, he shrugs, and when the tailor begins showing him an array of outfits, he's not listening. Instead, he toys with the ring behind his back, making sure to commit your expression to his memory.

[saintjosie]

Hey, sorry for setting a bit of a depressing tone with this ask but im a struggling baby trans girl

Do you have any advice for coping with the thoughts of "i will never manage to mold my body into a woman's body"?

Right now i am unable to start transitioning due to multiple reasons - both social (especially family) and hrt accessibility related - and my biggest issue with my body is that it's just.. annoyingly masculine. Ever since i was 14 my legs had more and longer hair than my 30-something old cousin's husband. Ever since i was 12 i started feeling too ashamed of my body to wear short pants and it was only this year that i started feeling a bit more ok about it (I will not disclose my age publicly, but i am in university).

And it's like. It's so exhausting to look in the mirror and not only not recognise the face as my own, but often actively hate it. To look at my body and to barely tolerate it anymore

There are some things that i've tried. I've trimmed my leg hair (to a fourth of its original size), and the instant my parents noticed they mocked me. I'm trying to let my hair grow but not only am i getting bombarded with questions of "when are you gonna get a haircut/let me give you a haircut" from all members of my family, it's also in that incredibly awkwards state which i know i will have to push through, but it still makes it even harder for me to look into the mirror

Once again, sorry for the tone of this ask, but do you have any words of hope or advice?

im sorry youre going through all of that. its incredibly difficult and i feel for you. i think that one thing that i frequently see from people in the earliest stages in transition is the struggle of feeling like they will never see themselves in the mirror. and i get it. i was 29 by the time i started hormones and a big part of why i was scared to do it was because i also thought that i was never going to look the way i wanted to. and whether or not we like it, there is safety in being able to say, oh if i dont look the way i want to, then its better for me not to try at all. its a horrible feeling but its one that you've lived with for years and there is safety in the familiarity.

but that's the thing - no one ever looks 100% the way they want to. i dont know a single person who hasnt had the struggle of looking in the mirror and wishing they could change something. and yes, we as trans people face that much more than most other people but it is a human experience to want to change and better ourselves.

after four years of being on hormones, i still look in the mirror and see things i want to change but also that feeling is much much less now. and its not just the hormones either. i like the way i dress because i wear what i want to. i like my hair because i decided i wanted to grow it out and change the color. i stopped molding my appearance to fit other people's expectations. and in doing so, i found that liking something about myself mattered far more than if other peopled like it. so shave your legs! grow out your hair! when people ask you questions, dont answer or tell them to fuck off! you dont need to make excuses for yourself because you dont need an excuse to be who you want to be.

im gonna be completely honest with you - it will not be easy. and youre not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find that your entire perspective has changed. in fact it is very likely, and very human, to continue to question the decisions you make. but always remember, you know who you are. and if you dont know, then only you are capable of finding out. and so i say with all the love in the world, i hope you find yourself and learn to love yourself in the process <3

[ontosgold]

Honestly Ryomina makes me fucking insane like everytime i think about them i start to combust and fly around like a rocket

Just .. Them being together ever since Minato was ten, i imagine them as childhood friends of sorts, but in a extremely gut wrenching way, Ryoji learned everything through the eyes of Minato, and even when there was nothing but sadness in Minato's life, im sure Ryoji just saw all that with so much wonder

and i imagine Ryoji not understanding everything in his surroundings, but everytime Minato feels bad, he himself feels as if his entire being is set on fire

SO IMAGINE, Minato crying on the floor, back on the wall, hes just a little child with so much sadness within himself for whatever reason, and he just hears a voice that seems like his own, but also completely different "I'm with you, it's okay." and he doesn't understand, but he knows it's true, the only person who's with him through it all is himself, and for some reason, he feels it really is okay.

YEAH ME TOO ANON ME TOO 🤝🤝 YOU UNDERSTAND YOU GET ME if i think about them too hard i feel like I'm gonna explode. I'm internally bouncing around the walls.

ALSO OUUUGGGH WHY DID U HAVE TO COME INTO MY INBOX WITH THIS :(( <- /POS ryoji feeling everything minato's feeling with so much intensity... (bcs he's never experienced anything like emotions before) AUGH... I love them being unaware childhood friends, but also something so much more intimate than just childhood friends soso much, I'm nodding. you get it anon. ough. (also I'm not gonna get the image of little mina being comforted by ryoji out of my brain orz) The strange familiarity when ryoji and minato "meet" and the inescapable feeling that they've known eachother their entire lives and they know eachother like they know themselves. yeah.

I adore the idea death being minato's only comfort throughout those 10 years... death took so much and yet it was the only sort of companion mina had. death was right there with him for every dark hour he had to experience alone for those 10 years of his life...

thank u sm for the ask anon ^_^ I'm gonna spend the entire day brainrotting about this 👍

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

I wanted to ask this since yesterday but i kind of forgot to do it. Thank for your hard work! And congrats for updating the game!!! I hope you don't overwork yourself too much and take as many breaks you need.

Spoilers, maybe? Since my question is related to Day 2 and mostly, directed towards you dearest creator. 😋 I loved that wholesome moment where Garret invites you to his house and prepares a mug of... HOT CIDER for you? I didn't know that a drink such as HOT cider existed... All my life I only ever consumed sparkling cider (and it's the only drink that has alcohol in it that i tolerate), it piqued my interest! I don't know anyone who has ever tried it and i wanted to ask you that, would you recommend it? To drink, I mean. 😌 OH, and it has CINNAMON??? I never, never, NEVER tried something like that in my life and thanks to Garret I want to try it. I'm asking you since most of the writing and dialogue is based on your own knowledge and experiences, is that right? I'm not from North America, im from a whole different continent so I'm not sure if it is a well-known drink!

Also this is unrelated but THANK YOU for letting me curse at Teagan... This new update is my favorite of the moment! I was in love with Rita first... Now, Garret too. POOR RITA THOUGH, she really needs some love, i kind of understand why she seems so surprised when someone REALLY and genuinely cares about her. 💜

Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so so glad you enjoyed the Day 2 update! It was a lot of work and it’s so reassuring to know that you enjoyed it as much as you did!

That’s a really interesting and great question! Since Crimson Hydrangea is based off of my experiences in the north eastern coast of America it’s really cool to hear learn that someone from a completely different continent is interested in learning more about the area!

I’m more than happy to explain the joys of hot apple cider to you! Granted I’m no expert, but I have sipped on a few different kinds and have enjoyed all of them.

So there are a few different versions of apple cider in the north east. The cold, carbonated, and alcoholic ones that you’re familiar with is usually called Hard ciders over here.

Then there’s local apple cider that you can really only get during the fall season. They’re usually made by pressing fresh apples and making juice from them. The consistency is usually a little thicker than normal apple juice and the color is also a lot darker than normal apple juice.

They also add spices to really compliment the flavor and make it taste even better. You can drink it hot or cold depending on preference. Though hot apple cider is a perfect drink to warm you up after being out in the cold all day long.

You can also add rum into it if you wanted to add a bit of alcohol as well

Personally I would highly recommend it! It’s one of my favorite drinks to have during the fall both cold and hot. I also really like hard ciders too during the summer! So if you like the taste of apples and don’t mind slightly thicker/pulpy drinks I think you’d enjoy it!

Haha! I’m more than happy to have you yell at Teagan any time you want! After all they deserve it after everything they put you through. ;)

I am glad that you’re starting to warm up to Garret, it’ll be fun to see everyone’s reactions when day 3 comes out!

And don’t worry, Rita will eventually come around to accepting she isn’t completely alone soon. ;)

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

[scummrevisited]

tumblr is NOT letting me answer this ask directly for some reason so i screencapped it HDFHDG anyways here goes

i vagguelly knew abt otherkin stuff beforehand but that was like. very vague and more in the lense of "eww cringe" bc that was all that was talked abt it

fast forward to me being 16 or so (maybe 17?) and i decide that today on www.tumblr.com im gonna go through the werewolf tag, and between all the art and poems abt werewolves i view a few werewolfkin posts and i go "huh.. thats interesting" bc i only vaguely heard of it but never really looked into it

so i dip my toes into it, and fall into the lake completely, and now im here

from which i will give some advice:

disclaimer: most of this advice comes from a psychological kin perspective, for spiritual stuff i can gather some info if you ask me but overall im not spiritual kin

1: sometimes the answer is not too clear, being alterhuman can stem from many reasons and overlap with many other things, furryness, autism, psychosis, spiritual beliefs, familiarity and importance to an animal or myth, a lot can play into it! for some beings, the experiences are very separate from each other, for others, they may cause each other or be linked or overlap, it can all depend and change around, so dont stress too much on whats what, but if you wish, you can play around and see what belongs to what, ive had the fact im a furry sometimes overlap with the fact im otherkin, and even fuel each other, but i still see them as separate identities, its all a big complicated soup. and i will say to just fuck around and see what labels you see fit

figuring out your kintype can take a while, and its not uncommon that what you first consider to be your kintype may not be the one that you actually feel you are. for example my first through upon discovering kin stuff was that i may be a cat, ive loved cats since i was practically born, ive always wanted to be a cat and themed myself around cats, hell my fursona is a cat! turns out im not one, ive tried and figured stuff out and experimented and well a cat just wasnt it. from this i'd just say to explore different animals or mythic beasts or types of robot etc etc

from that, what has helped me personally to figure out kintype stuff is to see what you desire feel and act, what kind of environment do you crave for? forests? mountains? deserts? theres a lot! what do you wish your body looked like? everyone talks about wanting claws and fangs and such but really think about it, what do you want for your body? what would make you happier? what would make you see your body more as your true self? any particular diet you have or wish to have? any behaviors you've derived from a being? maybe you hiss maybe you bark maybe you knead. do you feel limbs that arent there? such as ears? tails? horns? just look around outside and inside to see what you crave what you do what you want and such

one thing that i did while trying to figure out kin stuff was to just. draw how i view myself in my mind, and not concentrate on design or what i like and dislike on character designs, just like, draw what comes to mind on an "ideal body", you shift around features from the vague idea of who you are in your mind, draw different tails draw different snouts draw different body shapes, and see what fits and sticks, sometimes you can land on yes "thats exactly me", sometimes you can land on "its a vague idea of me but can aid me in figuring it out". thats kinda how it lead to me figuring out im primatekin, i had multiple different attempts and sketches of what i think i look like in my mind, and i just kept going until much trial and error later i found something. it went from "humanoid?" to "halfly animal-like" to "has a long tail" to "small and expressive" and eventually to a primate! (and thats how my mizamonkey design came to be QSHFHD). again for some this may bring a concrete design while to others it may be just a vague guide, not every tip works for everyone.

despite a few points ago where i stated that being obsessed with an animal or myth doesnt always equal to it being your kintype, it sometimes can be! and its sometimes how kintypes can originate to people (if we're taking the psychological otherkin route, this doesnt work too well with spiritual otherkin). sometimes youre just so obsessed and interested with an animal or myth or fiction trope that your brain kinda, adopts it for your identity. this is what happened to me for werewolves, since i was a wee lad ive been OBSESSED with werewolves and i read about them and drew about them and made stories about them that my brain has seemingly just. grabbed it and went "thats you". so look into your childhood or current state of living and see what animals and beings and such you connect with! again just as a few points ago, it doesnt always mean its your kintype, but it can be!

being alterhuman is different for everyone, i sometimes still think of this message i saw ages ago that went "ask 10 therians what being a therian means for them, and you get 11 different answers", so just because this otherkin experiences xyz, doesnt mean everyone does, and vice versa! i used to have a lot of stress about this bc i felt like i was a faker bc i didnt experience like others but after a while i managed to mellow out on it and its making me feel better!

related to that i would be careful about the resources you seek out bc from my experience seeking out resources has been a very 50/50, some tips and advice is great! while others are just why would you follow that. use your critical mind and see what suits you and what helps you.

this is more a personal opinion but i feel like the whole "choosing your kintype" debacle doesnt have a correct and concrete answer. to me if you were to just choose whatever kintype you want it may not actually be the kintype you feel like you are. i would absolutely choose to be a wolverine if i could! but it just doesnt align with my kintype and i cant force it as my kintype even if i tried. i would say that you can "try out" kintypes to see if it fits, its all about experimenting after all. its just that for most, its not as easy as pick and choose. its mainly bc your freely chosen kintype may just not be who you are, if you wanna choose a kintype either way, the community has adopted the term "copinglink" for such. for most alterhumans they did not choose their kintype. again its about trial and error

overall its going to be a lot of trial and error to figure stuff out. it took me 2 years to finally land on my proper kintypes! you may find kintypes and you may drop them. you may find yourself to not be otherkin after all! if you want more personal tips and questions you can message me here or on discord! (but i prefer discord bc tumblrs dm system is kinda cramped and buggy).

[icycoldninja]

hello!!! mgs4 raiden requester back!! <3

i was wondering if you could do any angst (to maybe nsfw if it fits) around a fem reader & raiden, reuniting again after they lost contact after the events of mgs2. potentially working with the cybernetic/scientist reader again seeing how their work was used by the patriots to experiment on raiden and turn him into what we know in mgs4

take your time!! i genuinely love reading your stuff even if im not into/played the same media <3

Thank you! That makes me so happy to hear 💜 I hope you enjoy, and have a great day.

What have they done to you (MGS4! Raiden x Fem!Cyberneticist!Reader angst)

"Doctor Y/N," A guard said, striding into your laboratory and over to the desk you were seated at. "There's a visitor come to see you."

Groaning softly, you reached up and massaged your eyes, which felt heavier and more fatigued than they should have been. Ever since yo learned your boyfriend Raiden had been captured by the Patriots, you had gotten very little sleep.

"Who is it?" You drawled, too tired to meet the guard's eyes.

"A cyborg," The guard responded, sounding somewhat worried. "He won't give his name."

"A cyborg?" You repeated, rising from your seat in awe. "Where is he from? Not the Patriots, I hope."

"I'm not sure," Replied the guard. "He bears no identification, and as I said before, refuses to give his name."

Several thoughts traveled through your mind. This could be a trap; the cyborg could be an assassin sent to off you, or he could be someone willing to contribute to your research. If this was the case, you couldn't let such a glorious opportunity slip by.

"Send him in."

The guard nodded and ducked out of the room. Seconds later, the door opened again, and a lean man in a black cloak strode into the room. The lower half of his face was almost entirely encased in metal, but his eyes were so familiar. So, so familiar. You knew those blue eyes; you recognized the dormant sadness hidden deep within them. You were sure you knew who this person was, but for some unexplainable reason, you still felt the need to ask. After all, it had been so long since you'd seen them--and the Patriots were know for deception--why should you believe he'd returned to you now?

"Who...who are you?" You inquired, nervously. The cyborg stared blankly at you, as if he hadn't heard your question. A few moments later, he opened his metal mouth and spoke.

"You don't recognize me?"

"No...I...I do," You mumbled, clasping your hands together. "I just...can't believe it's really you..." The cyborg nodded, continuing to stare ahead with that blank, almost dead-looking expression. You tried your best to meet his gaze, but it was so intense, so unsettling, you couldn't keep it up for long. Averting your eyes in both fear and shame, you let out a sigh.

"Raiden, what have they done to you?"

Raiden did not respond. He just kept his bluish-gray eyes fixated on you like a laser beam. You didn't know what to do now; you had nothing to say. The pain on Raiden's face told you everything you needed to know--that he was hurting, that he was afraid, and that he needed someone to lean on.

Almost automatically, you started edging closer and closer to him, your arms reaching out to wrap around his shoulders. You wanted to hug him, and he clearly needed a hug, but for some reason, he backed away.

"Don't touch me." He said, coldly.

"Why, what did I do?" You asked, voice quavering.

"It was your tech that they used. Your inventions," Raiden explained. It took you a minute to realize he was referring to your work regarding cyborg enhancements, though you had no idea how the Patriots managed to get their hands on it.

"How...?" You whispered, in unbelief. "How did they...?"

"They captured other cyborgs, ones you upgraded," Raiden continued, still staring ahead with that blank expression. "Then they broke 'em apart, dissected every joint, and figured out how to make the parts themselves."

"Oh my God...Raiden..." You were too stunned to form a coherent sentence. Your hard work, your research, your ingenuity, had been stolen by evil people and user to forcibly modify your entire reason for doing all this. The shock was too much; it made your head spin and you knees weak. You sank into a nearby chair, your head in your hands.

"The excision was very painful." Raiden announced, adding to your distress.

"My God...what have I done?" You muttered, too ashamed of yourself to so much as look through man in the eye. "What have I done? What have I done?"

Eventually you pulled yourself together, straightened up, and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Raiden," You told him, tears streaming down your face. "I'm so...so...sorry...I never wanted this to happen, ever...I...I only became a cyberneticist so I could do good and make contributions, not for this..."

For a moment, Raiden's stony expression melted into one of genuine sorrow. It seemed that if he had tear ducts left, he would be crying. You never wanted to hold him so badly in your life.

Completely disregarding what he said earlier, you ran forwards and threw your arms around his neck, sobbing and squeezing him as tightly as you could. You didn't care that his metal body was ice cold, and that the various ridges and spikes on his skeleton poked and prodded your sides. You just wanted to embrace him and let him know you still loved him no matter what, and that nothing could change that.

"I love you, Raiden," You kept repeating, clinging onto him and refusing to let go. "I love you so, so much."

It took him several moments, but Raiden eventually snaked his arms around your waist and held you close with enthusiasm double that of yours.

"I...I...love you too..."

[gabessquishytum]

How would 1389 Hob in the amnesiac Au react on wearing current clothes?

From the knee length shorts and tank tops to more 'indecent' clothing such a mini skirts and mesh stockings??? ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

Im curious ocnekaklg rkallkdkkakxkekakkxlclwk aaaa

Also, I LOve UR BLOG LCNSKS ♥⁠╣⁠[⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠]⁠╠⁠♥♥⁠╣⁠[⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠]⁠╠⁠♥♥⁠╣⁠[⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠]⁠╠⁠♥

Ooo great question friend!!!! Thank you so much for your kind words. Here's the original amnesia Hob post!

I love the idea of Hob with a 1389 mindset exploring Hob from 2023's wardrobe! For Hob I feel like the colours alone would be so exciting! As a person of lower class he'd be wearing dark clothes out of practicality and necessity, so seeing clothes made with all kind of new modern dyes would be crazy! The textures too - he'd be used to wool, mainly, so touching silk and satin and even soft cotton would be so new and overwhelming. I can imagine him rubbing his face into the soft fabrics, feeling the softness on his skin. Maybe it's even a little arousing to experience such luxury.

Dream leaves him to put together an outfit for the day and he comes out in: fishnets (he likes them because they remind him of... fish nets. Which are familiar to him), red silk basketball shorts (he likes how airy they are), an aged t-shirt that Hob’s had since 1984 (it smells good and comfortable) and a scrunchy that one of his students crocheted to tie his hair back with. He's not wearing any underwear and he hasn't quite mastered the art of tucking his dick away in the shorts. Dream has a mild existential crisis over the sight of his medieval peasantified boyfriend dressed up like a college girl at a bar.

Hob is very proud of his outfit. But he's quite happy to be lead back to the bedroom and undressed all over again. His beautiful stranger who is coaching him so wonderfully through this bizarre world is so good to him. He's happy to stand in the bedroom and be dressed in sundresses and velvet skirts, happy to twirl around when Dream tells him to. Its like a wonderful fantasy world where everything is soft, full of colour, and designed just for his body.

Eventually Dream puts him to bed in a long cotton nightshirt and fluffy socks. No doubt Hob will wake in the night and hitch up the long garment so he can rub his cock against Dream’s arse. That's a habit that will never change, no matter the era <3

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for tagging @jrooc

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I published my first fic in September of last year!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.

psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused

its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk

um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit

13. What made you choose your username?

tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey

[tiktaaliker]

my thoughts on the stuff ive listened to during work; note that im not basing my reviews on how good the actual book is, its based on how my personal experience was to listen to the audiobook while working in the lab

Animorphs books 1-3: i read this series as a kid but only once, so i was familiar with the story enough to not get distracted but i had forgotten enough of the details to be kept engaged. Voice acting was fine, tolerable to listen to, character voices distinct enough to differentiate without being annoying (albiet with at least one exception). Biggest issue is length- since my shifts are 8 hours, i got through the first 3 books in a single shift, and the specific version i was listening to was split up into a handful of short parts each book so i kept having to switch to the next video, which was way too much of a momentum-stopper (and work interruption) to stick with this series specifically.

The Witcher books 1+2: eh. was fine enough. once again this was something i was familiar enough with to follow without having to worry too much about missing details, while also being somewhat entertaining. i think i liked it a lot better to read than to listen to. voice acting was fine. biggest issue was that i had finally gotten used to the narrator pronouncing dandelion as dan-DIL-leon for the first book but in the second book he switched to pronouncing it as DAN-dee-lion and i had to stop partway through because of it

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: i remember enjoying reading it a lot more than listening. Ill be the first to admit that im kind of picky about audiobook narration and this one just didnt hit right, but was overall a good experience. Voice acting was fine, and the actual story was very entertaining as expected. Perfectly acceptable.

Discworld books 1-2: extremely good listens. Voice acting was great, character voices were fun and fit the characters really well, only skirted the line of being annoying. fantastic story, but not too complicated or unfamiliar, so i could still follow and be entertained while still focusing on work. Will probably continue the series at some point, but giving myself a buffer period before i start up again to avoid series burnout

Malevolent parts 41-44 (catching up with the podcast lol): man. theres just something about listening to a guy getting gutted and filled with maggots while working in the lab of a hospital. like broooo you are going to get sepsis!!! Very good listen, as expected, just kinda funny trying to keep a straight face while talking to coworkers and simultaneously listening to arthur's no good very bad day

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell: probably the best one so far for what im using these for. The length meant i was able to spend like 4 whole shifts on the one audiobook. Footnotes were incorporated fantastically, narrator and voice acting was phenomenal, and its also pretty much my favorite book of all time. Ive read this SEVERAL times, but because of how fucking huge this thing is theres a lot of details i forgot about or misremembered. Only issue is that it was split up into several audio tracks, so i had to switch to the next one a few times per shift. They were each around 2 hours long however, so it wasnt too inconvenient. Also at one point i fucked up and accidentally skipped like 8 whole hours without realizing until after an hour in where they referenced an event i KNEW i hadnt gotten to yet lol

Catch-22: man they really went all fucking OUT on the voice acting here. All characters are EXTREMELY distinct, so im very easily able to tell who's talking even without speaking tags. One of my pet peeves in audiobooks is when the narrator whisper-yells when a character is meant to be screaming. That does not happen here. Narrator fucking COMMITS. Yelling, sobbing, laughing, all of it. Fucking fantastic. Phenomenal as an audiobook, i think i mightve even enjoyed it even better than actually reading it.

Slaughterhouse-five: man. this one is ALSO an audiobook that is fucking PHENOMENAL. biggest problem is that i got WAYYY too into it. I really needed to just sit down and soak it in, which was not very condusive to a workplace environment. I now have a self-imposed limit where im not going to be listening to any more vonnegut books from now on because i KNOW itll have a similar affect

His majesty's dragon: this one couldve been good, but the recording i found was not. The guy reading it did a big spiel at the beginning of each chapter and kept adding unneeded commentary like it was a middle school read along. Im going to be getting a library card today so i can use libby, so i might come back to this once i get access to an actual official audiobook lol

murder on the orient express: nope. barely lasted three minutes into this one

percy jackson and the lightning thief: see this is an example of something ive actually read too many times as a kid so i know the book too well for an audiobook to be entertaining. Dropped it after less than a chapter.

the kane chronicles: had potential, i remember liking the story a lot as a kid but i hadnt read it nearly as much as the pjo series, and i think it wouldve been at least vaguely entertaining. However, half the book has one of the narrator sdoing a really bad british accent for his sister's voicelines and i just couldnt do it. i didnt have the strength. Dropped after maybe 4 chapters.

Camp Damascus: the only audiobook of the lot that i actually bought, and the first one i got through that i hadnt read the physical book before. Interesting story, ok voice acting. Solid choice to listen to. Not quite what i was expecting, but pretty good story! Had some EXTREMELY gnarly descriptions of body horror thrown in at like. two points of the story maybe. Didnt really affect me personally but kinda threw me off in a 'this feels like a different story entirely' sort of way. Dont have much else to say here since these reviews are more talking about my experience with these as audiobooks specifically, and i havent read the book itself to be able to compare this one.

[acesofspadess]

Living ( A live sequel)

a/n: omgggg I know it been forever since this story but im back with the sequel!!!! there is gonna be a few chapters before were back on track but that just means you guys will see me on your timelines everyday ☺️

“Hi I’m Maia Quinn, and I'm the Season 23 winner of The Voice!"

Mid July

“Hello Team Niall.” Niall introduced as they all waved and greeted him back. “Well, I've got a bit of news for you. Because of my concert schedule, I actually won't be in town for knockout rehearsals.” Everyone was shocked… and rightfully so. “Because I won't be there, I've chosen another coach to come in and mentor you guys for rehearsal.” Everyone started to freak out wondering who on earth it might be. 

“And they have been in your place before so I think they’ve got exactly what you need.”

The scene changed to the all too familiar practice room with an empty directors chairs. The sounds of steps progressively got louder until the special person appeared. 

“I'M BACK!” 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's rewind a bit.

~~~~~~

A day or two after The Voice Finale

“Hi I’m Maia Quinn, and I'm the Season 23 winner of The Voice, and we're hanging out with Rob on Front Row Live.”

“Go with me.” Niall moaned into your mouth as you straddled him. “Where?” you question kissing down his neck. “Boston. I know it's last minute and we’d leave in the morning-” you shut him up with a kiss and a roll of your hips, his hands tightening against your thighs. “Just wake me up an hour before we leave.”

Sitting at the desk of you and Niall’s shared hotel room the morning of May 26th  you had early interviews to get through before you were meant to go to the festival. You looked over the camera to see Niall already looking at you.

“Maia congratulations. What a night you had a few nights ago.” Rob praised and you smiled adjusting your airpod. “I am super excited for you and your career and your future. Especially because you're starting so young. You have enough time to kind of like, continue to evolve, and understand your voice; learn a lot more about yourself throughout this process. Talk to me about this process of your experience here on the voice and how you've evolved as a vocalist and a performer.” The interview was more than you could ever imagine. 

“Now your relationship with Niall this season has had fans going crazy. From the after performance hugs to the duet, and the after party, what can you tell us about that?”

You saw Nialls face peak over the laptop screen and stayed neutral. “Niall has been the most supportive and very encouraging. He has become one of my best friends through this whole journey. I lost a lot of my confidence during the pandemic unfortunately. It made me think that I would never be able to do things that I certainly could do and Niall- all these years later- has been there to remind me that I probably can do them, and then make me do it. So our friendship and relationship has been so important to me. He is my best friend across the charts and he’d hate me for saying this, but I wouldn't be here without him.” 

“Last question before we go. Is there anything we can look forward to seeing soon? Maybe another EP?”

You smiled glad you were able to share some information on what was coming next. “All I'll say now is, look for me on stage back home.” you winked dramatically knowing those who would get it would get it.”

“That's amazing, I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled. It was so great having you on. I hope to see you in person soon.”

“Bye!” 

``````````````

View comments

User10 i'm actually really happy she won

User2 wait…Slane is in Ireland…..

User6 I just learned she had an EP…. what?!?!?!?

Being at Boston Calling with him

“Boston, Massachusetts, how you doing?” he asked the crowd after he finished ‘Heaven’. The loud response made him smile excitedly. “Holy shit! This is crazy.” you face palmed knowing he was going to slip up sooner or later. “Thank you all so much for coming out to see me. I really appreciate it.” they cheered again as he sipped his water. You watched as he looked at the amount of people and a smile formed on your face.

 “This is uhm- this is actually my first ever Festival.” he let out a breath at the realisation. “I've definitely been drunk at a few.” you laughed at him with the rest of the crowd. “But I've never played at any and for that reason I'm absolutely shitting myself.” he said looking at you knowing you would calm him, and him seeing you laugh did just the trick. 

“But thank you for being here. I know some of you guys have been queuing for years.” he looked around at the signs “My girlfriend showed me this earlier ‘i travelled four thousand miles to be here from Brazil’ your eyes went wide at the declaration and the deafening screams were present. He subtly looked in your direction and saw your reaction, his worry diminished as he saw you smiling making him smile. “Makes you feel bad from coming just down the road doesn't it? ‘I came from round New York’.” he mocked, “awe who cares.” he laughed with them and you hid a big smile behind your hands. 

~~~~

You walked the same route you came flashing your pass when you reached the gate and made your way in to see Niall. When you saw him you squealed and ran over to him. He turned when he heard you and caught you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist and he spun you both around hands on the swell of your bum.

“I'm so proud of you!” you screamed and he laughed before he was kissing you passionately. It was quick as many more pecks through giggles followed. “I can not explain to you how happy i am.” he whispered in shock as you were sitting in the trailer behind the stage and he was getting changed. “You should be so happy, my love. That was incredible, and I am so so proud of you.” he smiled at you before grabbing your hand and kissing the ring on it. “You make me so happy, baby girl.” you melted at his words and stood up to kiss him softly. “And you make me the happiest girl, Ni.”

You surprising Niall at his Zane Lowe interview and him outing you 

You knew Niall was disappointed when you told him you wouldn't be able to make it to his Zane Lowe interview today. He was really excited for this one and wanted you to be there. It was only a few days later that you flew from Boston down to LA for the interview. You were working on last minute stuff for the announcement today and you were nowhere close to done when he was getting ready to leave.

“I'm sorry love.” you kissed his pout away as you both stood by the door of his  LA house. “I know, it’s okay. I know why you can’t make it, and for that I am so very proud.” he melted his lips against yours as your hands went to the curls on the back of his neck and he wrapped his went straight to your bum.

~~~

Niall was watching Zane play his songs and the guitar with a big smile a few hours after he left. “There are some pretty songs on this record bro.” Zane complimented as he switched playing from ‘The Show’ to ‘You could start a cult’. You who had just made it into the studio to surprise Niall were standing behind the glass watching him, waiting for him to notice. 

“Thank you very much.'' He cut through Zanes music. “This one kills me.” Zane admitted as Niall caught on to what he was playing. “Yeah.” he cheered Zane on softly, finally noticing you. You saw his smile widened and you waved softly. “You Could Start A Cult.” he named distractedly, still looking at you as if he looked away you would disappear. 

~~~

“Kingdoms fighting over you,” Niall continued. “I think that like they’re the ones- that could have very easily been, ‘ i like waking up beside you and you're my favourite person.” he joked easily. “But ‘you could start a war’.” you shook your head at his lyrical genius. “Do you ever crack yourself up with it?”

‘Yeah it was something silly at first but now everyone's obsessed with it. It started with me and my girlfriend now, when we met we would watch crime shows together over facetime,” he exposed and you chuckled at his laugh.

‘You say girlfriend now, sorry if i'm over stepping but..” zane trailed off

“No,” he shrugged off looking at you, who nodded, “she was not my girlfriend at the time, she is now, is what that meant.”

“So did she not know the song was for her?”

“She didn't know any song was for her- or about her I should say. The road from when we met to now has been a very dark windy tunnel, but we made it to the other end.”

“That's beautiful Niall, truly.” You smiled at him agreeing with Zane.

“This was the last song on the record that we wrote.” Niall confessed, and you wondered why. “Why, what was missing?” and without hesitation he pointed to you, “her.” Zane looked to where he was pointing and you waved happily at him. He waved back to you just as happy before turning to Niall with a face of shock. “No?” he gasped and Niall laughed, throwing his head back. “Yeah, I know. Way out of my league.” he watched you shake your head with an eye roll and he couldn't stop the smile from gracing his face.

“I could’ve gone and did what I did with the rest of the record and put BV’s all over it and strings and that was my plan - and John just said to me- because we we were not talking at the time…” he pointed between you and him, “...this is your message to,” he paused, ‘“ her’ keep it that way. Just you and your guitar and your feelings.”

And while there's much much more… you’ll see that soon

~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: comment if you want to be added!!

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner@luxiorchive @maeflowers653  @purple9950 @forkmeniall @nathalielovesonedirection @hopsydaisy @shortie-niya 

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

End of My Rope | Bucky Barnes x Reader

@im-just-star-dust requested this- I hope you like it 💕🫶

This one has some of the big sad. Please note the warnings.

WARNING: discussion of suicide, depression, anxiety, shitty / manipulative exes

--------------------------------

The sound of the front door startled Bucky. He wasn’t expecting any visitors- especially not any visitors with keys to his home. And you weren’t due back from work until six. He left his spot in bed and slowly made his way to the door, only to be greeted with the familiar lilt of your voice.

“Buck!” you threw your arms around his neck and leaned into his body, landing a long kiss to his lips. 

And while the affection was welcome, he didn’t understand the cause. “Hey, doll. What are you doing home from work?”

“It’s my lunch break! I thought I’d come home and see you,” you said with an overly casual shrug. “Whatcha been up to?”

“Just reading.” Truth be told, he was in bed only trying to read- he’d had issues focusing for a few days. And being in bed so late in the day felt a little embarrassing, too lazy to admit. He left that part out.

Bucky’s tone sounded flat, almost irritated. Something in you changed recently. You called him multiple times during the workday, touched him way more than usual. You nearly drowned him in ‘I love yous’. He was grateful, of course, for the love and care you showed him; he never imagined he’d experience anything of the like. But he found himself almost suffocating under your overbearing avalanche of adoration.

Guilt throbbed in his chest. Every time he had a negative thought about your recent increase in affection, he chastised himself. Some people live their whole lives without experiencing love like yours. Some people never find their person. Bucky always assumed he’d be one of those people- but then you came along. And he was lucky to have someone so warm and kind and sweet. But wires must’ve gotten crossed along the way, and he found himself nearly overwhelmed.

“Did you eat yet? I could make you something-” you did your best to tug Bucky toward the kitchen, but he resisted. 

“Did you eat yet?” he crossed his arms over his chest. “This is your lunch break, and I don’t see any lunch.”

“I’m not hungry!” you lied, “come on, let me make you something.” It was supposed to be a lighthearted request, but it came out of your mouth as a plea. You found yourself almost begging to take care of Bucky. If you could just make him some lunch, your anxiety would die down- for a little while.

But you knew it would come roaring back. Bucky was so quiet ever since his last mission. He got home five days prior with an unfamiliar darkness in his eyes. He said he didn’t want to discuss the details; didn’t want to talk about what he saw. But you knew it was Hydra related, and that was enough to make you worry.

Ever since then, he haunted the apartment like a ghost of himself. He wasn’t as warm. He lost all interest in doing things. He let his stubble grow and lived in his sweats. You knew he’d gone through something dark, something horrifying. Whatever it was had him on the ropes, beating him senseless until nothing remained. He was depressed- deeply depressed- and it scared you. 

 Each night, you stared at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Every thought revolved around about Bucky. You worried about him until you feared you’d get sick. You picked at your cuticles and pulled at the skin on your bottom lip until you bled. He suffered PTSD and anxiety and depression; you knew that when you met him. He had baggage- but it never weighed him down like this. You’d never seen him so low. 

Every day when you left for work, you reminded him of how much you loved him, how you cherished and adored him- even if it was overkill. You needed him to know. Work didn’t seem to matter anymore. All of your focus remained on Bucky, even when you were at the office. Leaving him home alone all day just didn’t seem right; you needed to be there for him, just in case. But when you absolutely couldn’t step away from the office, phone calls would have to do. You checked in on him a few times a day, even though he told you it wasn’t necessary.

Finally, Bucky agreed to let you make him a BLT. He stood silently at the kitchen island, leaning against the granite and watching you cook bacon. It was sweet of you- really sweet- but unnecessary. He didn’t want you driving all the way home from work just to make him lunch. 

You sat with him while he ate, watching him like a hawk until the sandwich was gone. And just like you suspected, your anxiety returned. But at least you knew he’d eaten.

“Thanks for lunch, doll. I appreciate it,” he said when he’d finished his meal.

“Any time, Buck. And hey, I think I’m just gonna work from home for the rest of the day.” You gestured to your work bag, “I brought my computer with me just in case, so I think I’ll stay here. Is that cool?”

Bucky couldn’t help but feel as though he was being surveilled. “Yeah, sweets, that’s fine. Do your thing.”

He grabbed his plate and began the walk to the kitchen, but stopped himself.

“Hey- what’s going on with you?”

You cocked your head to the side, “what do you mean?”

With a huff, Bucky joined you at the table once again. “I mean, you’ve been really… affectionate lately.”

The heat of embarrassment scalded your cheeks, “Is that bad?”

“No, it’s not bad, it’s just-” he didn’t know how to say it. “It’s kind of… a lot? Like, the phone calls to check on me and everything. You keep asking if I’m okay- you left work just to come see me. That’s not normal for you.”

You shrugged. “Well, I know you’ve been kinda down ever since your last mission. So, I just wanted to be there for you. I want you to know that you’re not alone. That’s all.”

But Bucky knew that wasn’t everything. He knew you well enough to detect when something lingered beneath the surface. “That’s not all, sweets. Come on, I can tell you’re hiding something…”

You didn’t respond. You knew your voice would tremble.

“Hey-” Bucky took your face in his hands, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you tossing and turning every night. And how tired you’ve been.” 

“Buck, I’m fine. It’s-”

 “And I don’t remember the last time I saw you eat something…” Bucky’s words were thick with concern. He’d watch you push food around on your plate for five consecutive nights, with only a bite or two actually making it into your mouth. It was his turn to worry now, his turn to check in on you. “Please tell me what’s going on. Something is off with you- I can tell.”

While you appreciated Bucky’s concern and care, you kept your secret. “I’m okay, babe. I know you have a lot going on right now- I’m not gonna pile on.”

“I want you to pile on. Please.” He nearly begged you, “I need to know what’s wrong.”

The tears you hoped to keep under control flowed freely down your cheeks and dampened Bucky’s hands. You fell apart before him, your body shaking with sobs and ragged breaths. He couldn’t make out much of what you said as you cried. But he knew he heard “worried”- over and over again. 

“What are you worried about, baby? What’s got you so anxious?”

You forced air into your lungs and did your best to answer. “I’m w-worried about y-you,” you finally mustered. “I d-don’t wanna l-lose you.”

Bucky almost fell backward- this wasn’t what he expected. “You’re not gonna lose me, doll,” he pulled you into his body and gently stroked your back. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. Why are you worried about losing me? Did something happen?”

Telling him the truth was almost embarrassing. But you looked up at him and let the words tumble from your mouth. “The mission. You came home and you haven’t um, been yourself, babe. I- I’ve been really worried about you. I see how depressed you are- I’ve never seen you like this. And I’m really scared…” You took a deep breath and pushed on, “I’m scared that I’m gonna come home from work one day and find you… find you dead.”

The image conjured up more emotion, more tears. And Bucky didn’t know how to respond- he was taken aback by your words. It all seemed to come from left field. And he hated knowing you’d been worrying about this- about him- for so long. He knew how you oftentimes let things eat at you until there was nothing left, and this threatened to devour you.

“And I know it’s so- it’s so selfish of me to be saying this to you,” you said “Because you’re the one who needs support right now. I’m just-” you hid your face in Bucky’s chest, “scared. I don’t wanna find a suicide note on your bedside table”.

Bucky’s heart shattered. He couldn’t imagine the anxiety you’d been experiencing, and the exhausting effort to keep it hidden. “Okay, doll. It’s okay…” he held you a bit tighter. “And if I’ve said or done anything to make you think this way, I’m so-”

You yanked your head from his chest and met his eyeline, “No. That’s not it- that’s not it at all. You haven’t done anything, Buck. This is all me.”

He narrowed his eyes at you a bit, testing your words. But you didn’t flinch, and he deemed you truthful. “Okay, so… what happened, then? What’s making you feel this way, baby?”

You took a deep breath, “I had this boyfriend-” Talking about your ex never felt good. It took too much energy to re-experience all the unpleasantness he put you through. It drained you and left you cold. But Bucky deserved the truth. “He had bad- really severe depression. And he always… he always told me that if I wasn’t there for him at all times, if I wasn’t on call twenty-four seven, he’d kill himself. He kinda… he made me feel responsible for his life.”

Your fingers twisted in the fabric of Bucky’s shirt as you thought back on your manipulative ex, “And when I couldn’t rush to his house or do what he wanted, he’d threaten suicide. I knew if he actually did it, it would be my fault.”

“Baby… I don’t know what to say.” He gave you a reassuring squeeze in lieu of supportive words. This wasn’t what he’d expected to hear.

“And when you came home depressed, I just… my muscle memory kicked in, I guess. And I threw everything into overdrive- the touching and the check-ins and all that. I panicked. I’ve been overcompensating.”

Bucky nodded.

Your voice lost all strength as you once again crumbled into Bucky’s chest. “I’ve been so anxious about keeping you alive…”

“Oh, doll,” He leaned down and pressed kisses to your hair, “I’m so-.”

Almost on a dime, you switched gears. “This isn’t fair though,” you tried to free yourself from Bucky’s grasp. “I should be comforting you- not the other way around.”

But Bucky wouldn’t allow it. He quieted you with a long, firm squeeze. He let you cry against his shirt and helped you slow your breathing. And when he finally got you calmed down, he turned you to face him.

“I know I’ve been in a bad headspace lately. I know I’ve been down. That last mission was…” he took a moment to banish the memories. “I’ll be honest, it was rough. I saw a lot of things that I hadn’t seen since my Hydra days. And it’s been affecting me since I got home.”

You nodded against his chest.

“But my life is not- and never will be- your responsibility.”

Something in you wanted to argue, but Bucky cut you off. “The extra attention and all the nice things you’ve been doing for me- it’s all really sweet. I never thought I’d have a support system like this. You’re so good to me and I know you really care about me, but my life is in my hands. No one else’s. Okay? It’s not your job or responsibility to keep me alive. My depression is mine to deal with.”

Bucky’s gentle hands gently removed your palms from your eyes, “Hey, can you look at me?” He swiped a few tears from your cheek and did his best to angle your face up to his. “I can’t thank you enough for all your love and support- you make my hard days easier. I know you’re always here for me, I know you have my back. And I know that when it gets to be too much for me to handle, you’re gonna be there. You don’t have to prove it to me. And you don’t have to worry about me.”

You gave a sad laugh, “But I’m gonna…”

“I know…” he left a long kiss to your forehead. “If I’m being honest with you…” he paused. He could still turn back. He could stop his words in their tracks and save you the extra pain. But the two of you told each other everything- every secret and skeleton. With a deep breath, he continued, “Right after I got away from Hydra, when I was alone and afraid and struggling to make sense of the world- I considered ending my life.”

Your heart dropped.

Bucky clocked the fear in your eyes and quickly pushed on. “It was a really scary, really dark time for me. I didn’t have anyone. I was lost. I didn’t know who I was or how to function in this world. And the trauma Hydra saddled me with was heavy. But that was the first and last time I had that thought. I promise,” he swiped a tear from your cheek.

“And not too long after that, I was in Wakanda getting the help I needed. And now I’m here. I’m okay.” He took your hands in his and placed them flush against his chest, “I don’t tell you that to scare you or make you even more worried- I just want you to know that I’ve come really far. I worked on myself- and I’m still working. And nothing I see or go through on any of these missions will ever be as bad as the time after my escape. I’ll never be that lost- that hopeless- ever again”. 

Even though Bucky had all the powers that came with the super solider serum, he couldn’t see the future. And you wondered how he could be so certain about what the days ahead might hold. But articulating such a thought didn’t seem possible. Your mouth was dry and your cheeks damp with tears. And even though Bucky didn’t possess the power of mind reading, he knew you well enough.

“I know that you’re probably wondering how I know that- But I just need you to trust me on this, okay? I’ve been down lately, and yeah, my job takes a significant mental toll. But I’m not going anywhere. I swear on my life.”

You groaned, “Buck, don’t do that-”

“Sorry, sorry- I swear on… I swear on The Hobbit.” Bucky got you to laugh. An immense warmth bloomed in his chest at the sound, and he finally saw an end to your misery. “If this were a courtroom, I’d put my hand on my copy of The Hobbit and swear under oath that everything I’ve just said is the truth. Okay? Does that work?”

You nodded, “I believe you. I know that thing is basically your bible.” Your hands made their way to his cheeks and stroked the stubble that covered his skin. Bucky’s depression liked it a bit longer than usual. And though one of your anxieties was settling down, another ramped up. 

“Hey, I don’t want this whole thing- my very overdramatic sob fest- to deter you from coming to me with what you’re going through. You talking about your depression isn’t going to send me into a tailspin or a breakdown or whatever. I promise. You don’t have to pretend like you’re fine from now on- please, don’t do that. I want you to know that I’m here for you, and if I made you feel like you have to walk on eggshells-”

“You didn’t,” he said. “I don’t feel that way. I know I can come to you. And I swear- once again on The Hobbit- that I won’t pretend like I’m okay if I’m not. Alright?”

You stared at him for a long moment before granting him your “Alright.” A deep sigh left your chest and you slumped against Bucky’s body, too emotionally exhausted to sit upright. But just as you got comfortable, Bucky pulled you from his chest.

“Hey, wait-” He gave you a stern, serious look. “You weren’t overdramatic. You just reacted based on what you’re used to.”

“But I made your whole situation about me-”

“No, you didn’t”. Bucky knew he should’ve seen this coming based on everything you’d just confessed. It made sense that you’d feel guilt, that you’d feel responsible for being ‘selfish’. But he didn’t see it that way. “We’re both doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt. And I think we’re a great team. Not that you play cards as a team, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” you leaned in for a kiss and sighed against his lips. Finally, after an agonizing week, the anxiety finally receded. But without the nervous energy keeping you wired, you were left exhausted and depleted. “Well, there’s absolutely no fucking way I’m gonna get any work done after all that,” you said, “I need a nap. Wanna join me?”

“How about you eat first? Let me make you something.” After seeing you eat almost nothing for nearly five days, Bucky wasn’t going to let you go on without a meal. “And then we can nap together. Deal?”

“Deal.”

 With the promise of your long, happy future together laid out in front of you, you allowed Bucky to lift you from his lap and carry you into the kitchen for another round of BLTs.

—————————

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[ben-marco]

do you think its possible for other system's to plant memories into someone else? with all this shit coming out about legion and us having experiences with manipulative and toxic RAMCOA survivors who were close with legion who said they remembered us (in very specific detail, so it wasnt just "oh you sound vaguely familiar", it was "oh. you are the same person i remember" type deal, which i realise in hindsight was probably not the safest way to realise this trauma but oh well you live and learn) and told us some information about abuse we (may) have faced, i'm fighting tooth and nail with my brain trying to convince myself im not totally delusional about this possibility being very real to us.

yes i realise we may have done some self destructive things trying to uncover memories and we practically begged the friends to give us information about this abuse we may have faced, and we may be looking too deep into things (such as reactions to various things, dreams, etc), but theres also a large majority of 'evidence' that they only helped unearth this trauma for us, and helped us in discovering something that may explain our childhood.

we're trying not to rely on online folk to help us fill in gaps about our trauma and our possible RAMCOA trauma, and we are currently seeing a trauma counsellor (although we have paused sessions right now due to financial issues) so hopefully we can get some professional help in regards to figuring things out, but i am paranoid that these people somewhat partially convinced our brain that we absolutely did 100% go through this abuse with them, and im paranoid that we're just straight up delusional about this trauma being real, especially since most flashbacks we did get whenever we were talking with them came due to them talking about specific topics with us - although despite not talking to them for months we still get flashbacks and various other system related things

we're trying to remind ourselves that we have nothing concrete as evidence that it did 100% happen outside of internal system things and flashbacks, which is why i'm constantly trying to say that its alleged and all that jazz and trying to shift our focus on doing trauma therapy / counselling and discovering things in private and not announcing it to the world

sorry for the rambling, and again, feel free to delete and / or not respond, i do not expect a therapy session out of this and i do not ask this with the intent of trying to get some stranger online to diagnose my experiences and / or feed into the belief that "yes it 100% is true you went through that trauma and theres no other way" because i believe getting that sort of response would be harmful in the long run

From personal experience, I can tell you that it is. Dissociative folks are highly suggestible, and your experience with Legion is frighteningly similar to an experience I had with someone else.

If you want to discuss this further, please feel free to send a DM my way. Anon, I really hate that you had to go through that and I'm hoping I might be able to help.

[willgrahamsbecoming]

why chilton?

AAALRIGHT im going to assume you're coming from my confession thing (chilton is the most reasonable character) so i'll answer that first.

(coming back up here after writing a bit, this is long and spoiler-y so i'm adding a read more. @ vic youre already up to season 3 just wait ok)

also a disclaimer: i'm writing all of this from memory while freezing in the wind at the bus stop. errors may follow

chilton may be a dumbass when it comes to his own actions BUT everyone is tbh so thats kinda just the baseline

however! he was one of the only people to believe will. he saw the evidence (albeit the little of it there was, since hannibal left very little) that pointed to hannibal, and he was able to put aside his positive associations and think critically about it

jack and alana both let their personal connection to hannibal cloud their judgement until it was too late. which is understandable! i love both of them as well. but out of those three people we see regularly interacting with hannibal personally, having dinner as friends (or more!), frederick is the only one who was willing to consider that hannibal was the ripper

of course beverly did as well, but she wasnt close with hannibal, and breaking into his house without telling anyone where she was going unfortunately docks some reasonable points. sorry bev </3

(and bedelia. but she didnt really try to do much about it except send smoke signals in the form of wine and truffles. i can understand that though. go get your europe holiday girl)

he was also the only one to see hannibal and will's fucked up relationship in season 3 ("with those two [disembowelling] is tantamount to flirtation" in aperitivo).

and now for more general 'why he's my favourite' stuff!

i really love his character arc - it's almost circular, and hes still recognisable as the frederick chilton we meet in entrée by the time the number of the beast is 666 rolls around, but he's taken his experiences in and grown as a person, imo. still confident, still egotistical, but still Changed.

and the fact that he's still the same by the end is really meaningful! because we all know that this man is a human punching bag - he went through so much over the course of the show, but he got back up every time. he's an incredibly strong person for that (and probably a little - or very - stubborn!), and it's very admirable. he held his head up and he faced abel gideon after he vivisected him (he stood right in front of him! the man who had broken out of restraints more than once!), he sat and ate with hannibal (more than once, we can assume) after he'd attacked him in his home and left three mutilated corpses for him and left him pretty much for dead

(im sure jack wouldve shot him if he hadnt surrendered and been someone familiar, and he wouldve likely been tried and if found guilty, executed much like hannibal should have been without frederick and alana saving his ass)

of course, this insistence on standing his ground led to his unfortunate fate in s3e12, but it's not his fault he didnt forsee a third attempt on his life. his strength is admirable nonetheless

i'd dock reasonable points for 'trusting will graham' but everyone did. that's another baseline. (aside from bedelia, i suppose. but her first impression of him was hannibal's pathetic little rambles in hannibal-mandated therapy)

also he's a funny little guy and has some of the best lines in the show. and he's played by raúl esparza who did so INCREDIBLY like holy shit

okay i think im out of stuff to say and i'm nearly at my stop thanks 4 reading